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mountttmase · 17 days

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If I Lost You

Note - this fic was such a struggle for me but we’re here and we made it 😂 I know I haven’t uploaded in a really long time by my standards so I’d love to know what you guys think and also thank you to my besties for your help on this one, I couldn’t have done it without you 🩷

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 7k

Warnings - angst and fluff

There was nothing Mason hated more than traffic. Traffic coupled with a later than usual training session was even worse

He’d been sat pretty much stationary for around 20 minutes now, slowly moving every couple of minutes but he hadn’t made it far. Eventually turning his playlist over to the radio so he could listen out for traffic updates but the flashing blue lights up ahead let him know what was happening.

He was right in the thick of it, no option to turn around and go another way, but not close enough to the front to be able to get around it yet and when a few more police cars came up to join the scene he realised it must have been a bad crash.

So he did the only thing he could do and waited. His mind wandering off to far away places that he tried not to visit too often and once he realised he was starting to spiral he quickly switched the radio back over to his playlist so he could distract himself.

It was only around 15 minutes later he’s made it to the front of the line, watching the traffic warden wave a few cars forward at a time to drive into the oncoming lane to get round and soon enough it was his turn.

He knew he shouldn’t have, but there was something making him want to look at the scene as he drove by. Head turning to the left of him to see how bad it was and the sight before him shocked him to the core.

The car was on its side, bonet crushed from hitting a lamppost and he could tell the windows had been broken to get whoever was inside free but after a few seconds the realisation that something was wrong slapped him in the face.

He knew that car. It was yours.

It was the colour that alerted him first. That specific shade of light blue he’d only ever known you to have but as he looked closer he could tell it was the same make and model as yours too. The panic rising up his chest until he thought he might have been sick but the sound of beeping horns shocked him out of his trance.

He couldn’t sit and wait and let himself process anything, the traffic officer waving him forward but it was like he was having an out of body experience. He wanted to get out and find you, the urge to scream your name was on the tip of his tongue but he did as he was told and drove forward, leaving the scene of the crime behind him but he felt too weird to carry on too much longer and pulled into a side street so he could park up and sort himself out.

There wasn’t much he could do, you hadn’t spoken in months and the only other person the pair of you had in common would no doubt tear him a new one if he called asking after you and he also didn’t want to worry everyone if it was nothing. He still needed to do something though and In the end he decided to text you in hopes you’d get back to him soon and settle his mind. You always had your phone in your hand so he knew this was the easiest way to grab your attention and hopefully speak to you.

The rest of the drive home, albeit short, was a nightmare. He couldn’t concentrate on anything and was constantly messing up but he made it back in one piece. Running inside so he could turn the news on immediately, hoping for any sign of what had happened whilst he sat and panicked. Not being able to think about anything other than knowing you were okay.

This was hell, and he hated it. But the way he was feeling for you right now was mostly his own doing.

You’d met Mason a few years ago at the after party for the final of their euros. Your best friend's brother was Rashy and she’d invited you along to watch the final, and although it had ended in heartbreak there was a certain brown eyed boy you and the rest of the world couldn't seem to tear their eyes away from.

You knew it was over for you when he came over to console Marcus, seeing how genuinely kind and concerned he was for his friend made your heart thump and when the pair of you were finally introduced you didn’t miss the way his eyes flickered over you.

He couldn’t stick around too long, needing to get back to his family but you caught eyes a few times throughout the night and when you were at the bar alone he used that as his in to come and speak to you properly.

It was his smile that caught you first, but it was hard not to notice his big brown eyes and musical laugh. In the end standing and chatting until the night was pretty much over and you had to go your separate ways but he gave you his number and made you promise to message him as soon as possible.

You didn’t know what you were expecting from Mason, but what you got was a blossoming friendship and you were more than thankful he was in your life. With you living in Manchester and him in London it was hard to see each other, Mason constantly referring to you as pen pals but you took what you could with him. Going to watch him play at Wembley sometimes and seeing him in the summer or whenever he has some free time for a few days gave you something to look forward to and you loved getting to know him on a deeper level.

It was very much a will they won’t they type of relationship. As much as you adored Mason, you didn’t want things to change and you knew long distance would be hard until just over a year had passed and you decided to take the plunge. The pair of you in Greece with a big group of the other boys and their girlfriends and Mason confessed he hated the thought of maybe seeing you with someone else and was willing to put the work in for you if that’s what you wanted.

And you really did.

Being Mason's girlfriend was everything you thought it could be and more. He was still his cute charming self but you felt free being able to be with him in the way you’d secretly always wanted. Your first kiss being a little awkward but he kept you relaxed and let you go at your own pace. Kissing all over your face until you were ready to try again and now it seemed as if you couldn't get enough of him.

It did come with its own set of challenges though. Being away from each other a lot of the time took its toll and even though when you were together you always made it count, the goodbyes were getting harder and Mason couldn’t stand to see you cry everytime he had to leave again. Or your sad face on FaceTime when you spoke in the evenings when you were apart, wishing he could reach out and touch you but he was never able to give you the comfort he so desperately wanted to.

It was around March of 2023 when it all came crashing down. Mason had a lot on his plate with an injury that wouldn’t go away and Chelsea’s new owners not treating him the way he should have been. You could tell he was more down than usual and planned a trip to go stay with him for a week so he’d have someone to come home to and someone to cuddle after a long day but at first you felt like he didn’t want you there at all.

You still remember the night before he ended it all. It’s like he was back to your Mason for a bit as you made dinner and spoke on the sofa until the early hours until you went up to bed. It was like he held you extra tight that night and whilst you figured it was just because he’d missed you and he’d had a nice night you now wondered if there was more behind it. Maybe thinking he should hold you properly if it was the last time and then out of the blue, he turned your world upside down the next morning.

He tried to give you the usual spiel of it’s not you it’s me and you were about to cuss him out for being so ridiculous but one look at him and you could see how much he was struggling. Telling you he hated that he couldn’t give you what you needed at that it broke him seeing you so down when he already had so much on his plate. You knew he needed to lighten his load, you just hated that it was you that would be cut off.

You didn’t argue with him, it being clear that he couldn’t take it but you spent the rest of your day packing up your stuff into the early evening where he made you stay for one more night so you weren’t driving home in the dark.

You felt stupid, making sure he was okay even though you felt like you were dying inside but you loved Mason and even though this was hurting you more than you could possibly imagine, you kept on a brave face for him. Telling him you’d still be there if he needed you and not to hesitate calling if he needed someone to talk to.

Sleeping in the guest room that night hurt more than anything he’d said to you over the last 24 hours but you remember him coming into your room at around two am as your cries had kept him awake. Holding you and shushing you in hopes you’d get some sleep but it didn’t work and all you wanted was to go back in time and undo everything he’d said but you couldn’t. So you stayed awake and tried to remember what it felt like to hold him, what he smelt like and how his skin felt pressed up against yours.

‘Can we make a deal?’ He whispered all of a sudden and you nodded into his neck in hopes he’d feel it, knowing your voice wouldn’t hold up if you tried to speak. ‘I want you to live your life and forget about me, yeah? Like if you meet someone new I want you to go for it. But in five years time, if we’re both single, do you think we could try again?’

‘I’ll see’ you whispered, knowing he wasn’t happy with that answer by the way he kissed your hairline softly but he let it go. Knowing he didn’t have a leg to stand on after what he was putting you through.

You left the next morning early, him giving you an emotional goodbye on his doorstep but you were ready to go home and be on your own now. Mason asking if you could still be friends and if he could text you and you stupidly agreed before getting away as fast as you could but you only made it one street away before you had to stop for a big cry. Wanting to get it all out before you began your drive home and after 15 minutes you set off again. Your phone going off every so often but you ignored it until you were back in the comfort of your flat and when you saw they were all from Mason you felt sadder than you expected to.

You were curious as to what he’d deleted but you didn’t have the energy to ask so you sent him a quick reply telling him you were fine and going to sleep before taking yourself straight to bed. Too tired to be upset or over think anything and when you woke up the next morning things still hurt but you’d resigned to your fate of being his friend again.

A friend.

So you spoke here and there for a while and even though you were broken it was a fairly easy split. You remained civil and on good terms and it broke you to see how unfairly he was being treated on the field and with his whole contract saga. He kept going though like the Mason you knew and loved but when the news hit he’d had surgery it felt like your world had tumbled upside down.

You felt useless, wanting to help him as much as you could but he was so far away and you’d already used up all your holiday so you did your usual and let him phone you when he needed a chat.

Not too long after his surgery everything seemed to fizzle out. Nothing happened as such but your texts and calls came few and far between until there was nothing and when the news broke he was moving to Manchester you felt too awkward to text him. Not wanting to give the wrong impression that you expected something from him now so you left it so he could come to you.

He never did though.

You weren’t sure why he didn’t, but Mason had his own reasons. Not wanting to drag you back into the mess of his life and the fact you’d stopped messaging him made him think you were done with him and he didn’t have the heart to face your rejection no matter how much you were on his mind.

So he moved to Manchester and didn’t reach out, even though he thought about it everyday, and tried to rebuild his life without you. He was doing well but you were always there in the back of his mind, even thinking he’d seen you a few times and his tummy jumped each time before he realised it wasn’t you. He’d wanted to message you more than anything but he didn’t have the guts, even though you’d both promised to stay friends the messages had become so few and far between and now there was nothing.

As soon as Mason was inside he ran to the living room to put the news on, pausing the TV as soon as it showed the aftermath of the accident so he could get a better look before playing again to where it was panning past what he thought was your car. He managed to stop it at a point to be able to examine it more carefully and he could feel the nerves rippling through him.

Same colour, same make and model, same sticker on the back window with where the car came from, different number plate…

Different number plate.

Mason let out a sigh of relief. It wasn’t you. Someone was clearly hurt and that wasn’t good but he couldn’t deny he felt lighter at the fact it wasn’t you who was in harm's way. Falling back into the cushions of his sofa so he could take a few breaths to steady himself.

You were okay.

He felt a little silly now, panicking so much when you were clearly fine but as the minutes wore on he managed to talk himself back into a frazzled state.

He didn’t know what it was, not being able to settle and focus on anything but you. Now you were back on his mind, all he could see was your pretty eyes and perfect smile.

He knew nothing about you anymore. The only piece of information left being the address of your old flat and now he was getting to know the area he knew you weren’t too far away. But he didn’t know if you were there anymore and if he did turn up whatever the chances you would even want to see him?

What if you’d moved on? Surely Rashy would have told him but Mason couldn't stand the thought of turning up at your house and a random guy being there. No doubt he’d be taller than him and funnier and be able to make all the time in the world for you and the thought of seeing you with someone who’s everything Mason isn’t made him miserable.

It was like there was an itch in his brain that he couldn’t scratch, not able to settle as his mind came out with random questions to make him doubt what he already knew. He decided against messaging Rashy, presuming he wouldn’t have much of an idea either and he didn’t want to start worrying everyone unnecessarily if there really was nothing wrong.

Maybe he read it wrong and it was your number plate? Or maybe you’d changed your number plate and it was you all along? Why hadn’t you answered his texts yet either? Was there an innocent explanation or had he missed something and it really was you that was hurt?

The only thing he did know was that he couldn’t stay in and drive himself insane. Eventually coming to the conclusion that a run would clear his head so he quickly changed into some shorts and a hoodie before setting off. No particular place or destination in mind, just the need to let off some steam and clear his mind.

When the rain started to fall he cursed under his breath. Too far away from home to turn around and avoid it and also not done with his run as he was still feeling on edge so he grit his teeth and carried on. Weaving in and out of streets until he started to recognise where he was a bit more.

Maybe it was just a coincidence he ended up here, like in the back of his mind this is where he needed to end up to finally put his mind at rest but as he stopped to get his breath just outside of your building he only felt worse.

Your car which you always parked in the same spot was nowhere to be seen, and the flat he knew to be yours had all of the lights off but the curtains were open. Like you’d been out and not made it home yet to shut them and he felt sick to his stomach at the thought.

‘No no no no no’ he whispered under his breath, not understanding where your car was and it seemed like only the worst possible outcome was the right one.

He knew it was a bad decision to come here but he’d done it anyway and now his mind was spiralling more than he thought possible.

He thought about going home but the need to see that you were fine with his own two eyes outweighed everything else and before he knew it he was running up the path and standing outside your front door with his hand poised to knock.

What am I supposed to say? He thought. I thought you were dead so I came to check you were alright? No, he couldn’t but he knocked before he had a chance to think of anything else. Waiting anxiously as he heard a few noises from behind the door but if you were there then you were taking forever to answer.

As soon as you opened the door he felt his body flood with relief. Your hair was pointing up in all different directions and he could clearly see the pillow marks on your cheek. A shocked and confused expression painted your features as you realised who was standing in front of you but he just felt his heart swell before his face crumpled as he tried to hold the tears back.

‘Mase? Mase what’s wrong?’ You asked, reaching forward to touch him in some way but you second guessed yourself before you got there. Not knowing if he wanted you to touch him but he looked distraught so you pushed your thoughts to the side and pulled him into the doorway. ‘Mase, you’re soaked. Come inside, it’s okay’

‘I’m sorry’ he told you, his voice wobbling as you shut the door and the feeling of warmth engulfed him immediately. He felt self here.

This feels like home, he thought. The place was unchanged from when he was last here and he stood awkwardly in the hall as you shut the door before leading him into the living room just around the corner.

‘Sorry, you've caught me at a bit of a bad time’ you laughed as you tidied the blankets off of the sofa and reset the cushions so you both had a place to sit. Flustered that he’d turned up so randomly and in the back of your mind you wondered if it might have happened one day but you chalked it off as being a silly daydream in the end.

‘Danger nap?’ He asked and you felt your face flush at the way he’d caught on so quickly. ‘Don’t worry, I remember them well’

‘Well I’ve been having them a bit more frequently since I’ve got no one to tell me off anymore’ you joked but you saw his face drop ever so slightly. ‘Take a seat, you want a drink or anything?’

‘I’m fine, thanks’

‘You sure? I’ll get you a tea you look like you need warming up’ you told him softly before scurrying over to the kitchen and he felt his chest warm with how kind you were to him. Hearing the kettle flick down before you came back to close the curtains and then run over to the cupboard under the stairs. ‘Take your hoodie off Mase, you’ll catch a chill. I’ve got you a towel and I’ll turn the heating up’

‘Sorry, this is probably the last thing you needed tonight’ he sighed, grabbing the towel to run over his hair once he’d taken his hoodie off but the shoulders of his top were still wet and now he was sitting here waiting for you he felt silly.

‘No don’t worry about that, I know we haven’t spoken for a while but I always said I’m here if you need me’ you told him shyly. Sitting down next to him so you could place his tea on the table before sending him a reassuring smile

‘I know’ he huffed. ‘I just feel a bit dramatic now that’s all’ he told you, trying to laugh it off but you knew him and you knew something was on his mind.

‘What’s going on? Why are you here?’ You pushed gently, trying to get him to open up a little bit more and when his eyes fell to his lap you weren’t sure if he was about to tell you or not. Thankfully he did after a few moments but you weren’t prepared for the words that were about to tumble from his lips.

‘There’s um… well there’s been this big accident on the main road out of Manchester. It’s all over the news and I was stuck in traffic for like 45 minutes until I could get round it’ he told you but you were unsure as to why he was updating you on the traffic when you’d asked what he was so upset about.

‘Okay?’

‘The car that crashed… well I thought it was yours’ he told you, his voice wobbling at the end and you felt your heart shatter as you realised what was wrong now. ‘It’s the same colour and make and everything and I… well I was out of my mind worrying that… i don’t know that you were hurt or something-‘

‘Oh Mase’ you breathed, cutting him off as his voice got more and more emotional and all you wanted was to pull him into a hug but you weren’t sure if that was what he wanted. In the end you just reached for his hand and you were surprised at how tightly he gripped onto you.

‘Sorry I bet I sound insane’ he laughed, wiping his eyes with his free hand and you felt your heart break for him.

‘No no it’s okay’ you reassured him, placing your other around your already clasped ones. Hoping he’d keep on talking but you let him take his time as he was clearly overwhelmed and upset by everything that had happened tonight.

‘It was on the news and I saw it wasn’t your number plate so I thought you were fine but then i managed to talk myself out of thinking that and I tried to text you, but i didn’t hear anything back but I guess you were asleep’ he smiled, squeezing your hand gently and you smiled sadly back at him.

‘I never got a text from you, I don’t think I did anyway’ you told him. ‘I was only asleep for like ten minutes. I did see some texts but it was a number I didn’t recognise and I thought it was a scam thing so I didn’t bother looking properly cause the number wasn’t saved’

‘A scam?’

‘Yeah I keep getting those texts like Evri has your parcel but it’s damaged and the details are lost. Please send your address, bank details and blood type so we can attempt a redelivery’ you joked and you felt your tummy flip when he let out a little laugh.

‘No it’s my fault, my personal number got leaked a little while back and when I moved up here I thought it would be a good idea to get a new number. I texted most people but I wasn’t sure if you wanted to hear from me so I just kept your number in my contacts. I completely forgot you wouldn’t have it saved’

‘You know that makes a lot of sense actually’ you smiled, watching his eyebrows pinch together in confusion and you thought his expression was adorable. ‘I sort of texted you last week. You know, after your goal? I didn’t hear back from you’

‘Shit, I’m so sorry’ he sighed, his free hand dragging down his face and you could tell he was annoyed with himself as he rolled his eyes.

‘No it’s alright-‘

‘No cause you probably thought I was ignoring you and I wasn’t’ he told you, almost pleading with you to make you believe him but you already did and when you sent him a soft smile he let out a big sigh he’d been holding in. ‘Where’s your car? It's not parked out the front?’

‘Chrissy upstairs moved out and I was next on the list for a spot in the underground car park so I park it down there now’ you explained, releasing how shaken he must have been and still was to know you might have been hurt and when one of your hands let go to touch his shoulder, his eyes snapped up to yours. ‘Are you alright, mase?’

‘No’ he whispered quietly, his glossy eyes looking back down to his lap and as much as you wanted to push him you also didn’t want to scare him off so you sat waited for him to come clean and tell you what was going on in his head. ‘I know it’s stupid but like… I realised if I lost you then… well it felt like my world was ending in all honesty’ he confessed, laughing slightly but you could tell there was no humour in it l. ‘I know that’s dramatic but all I could think about was everything I’d never told you, all the things I’d never be able to say to you again, you know? Never be able to hold you or kiss you…’

‘Kiss me?’ You whispered. Unsure as to why he’d said that at the end as you’d been broken up for almost a year now but you couldn’t deny his confession made your heart jump. If truth be told it hurt more than you thought it would when he didn’t reply to you a week ago and seeing him so heartbroken on your doorsteps just now was a shock. But the words falling from his lips right now were even more of a shock.

‘Sorry’ he mumbled, his voice thick with tears as he shook his head but you didn’t want him to shut down on you now. You wanted him to keep talking, to see if he’d say the things you’d been waiting a year for him to admit so you carried on stroking his skin and letting him get himself together.

‘No no it’s okay, I just wasn’t expecting it’ you laughed, looking up at him to thankfully looking back at you with a small smile on his face. ‘Now’s your chance Mase, what do you wanna tell me’ you whispered, wondering if he’d say anything at all but ever the unexpected he said the last thing you thought he would.

‘I love you’ he whispered instantly. The words sending a tingle down your spine and you almost lost your breath. ‘I’m still so fucking in love with you and the though of you not being around anymore hurt more than I could tell you. Not that I’ve tried, but I can’t love anyone else like I loved you. Like I still love you, y/n’

‘Mase-‘

‘I know it’s been a while and you won’t feel the same but-‘

‘Mase stop’ you whispered, your eyes stinging at the thought of what he might be doing but the sincerity in his eyes kept a spark of hope alive. ‘Are you sure? I think you’re in shock a bit, you may want this now but what about in a month's time? Or two? I can’t go through feeling like that again’

‘I’m sure, i promise’ he nodded, dropping his eyes to his lap before taking a deep breath and you knew he had more to say. ‘I know we said if we were both single in five years we’d come back to each other but that’s too far away for me and I don’t wanna give anyone else the opportunity to have you. People like us, we’re meant to meet in a few years time when we both know who we are and what we want for ourselves but I don’t wanna do that. I want us to work through it all and grow together, you know?’

‘Mase-’

‘I pushed you away when I should have held onto you tighter. I think about you… all the fucking time and I can’t be without you’ he sniffled. ‘I know it’s incredibly selfish of me but I don’t want you to be just a chapter in my life when you’re the whole damn book baby’

You couldn’t help but laugh at his last line, your chuckles seeming to break the tension a little bit as he smiled at you and you could feel your heart in your throat at all the sweet words he’d spilled to you tonight.

‘Sorry I know it’s a lot but I just needed you to know’

‘Well thank you, and you know I care about you so much Mase-‘

‘Oh’ he sighed, trying to remove his hand from yours as you hadn’t told you him loved him back and he felt a bit embarrassed but that wasn’t your intention.

‘No Mase, wait I just… look it’s a lot to think about’ you laughed, squeezing his hand tighter so he couldn’t move away. ‘Just give me some time to take it in, yeah?’

‘Sorry’

‘No please don’t be sorry’ you told him before a quietness settled over you for a moment. Not really sure what you were wanting to say and knowing Mason had said enough for a lifetime tonight so you went back to what you thought you did best. Looking after him. ‘Listen, have you eaten? I’ve got a pasta bake to put in the oven and you know I always cook for about five people’

‘I haven’t eaten’ he laughed ‘Too busy worrying that you'd been flattened’ he joked, rolling his eyes and you couldn’t help but let out a loud laugh at his attempt at humour.

‘Well let me make us something to eat, And we can hang out a bit and catch up, yeah?’ You asked hopefully and thankfully he nodded in agreement.

So you made the pair of you some dinner before getting settled on the sofa. Keeping the tv volume on minimum so you could talk and it was like having the Mason you fell for back with you. But your heart broke even further when he explained to you how hard the last year had been for him, from being sold to the constant injuries and feeling pretty lonely up here some nights when it was just him and his family and friends had to go home.

Soon enough your plates had been discarded to the coffee table as it was your turn to open up. Not that you had as much to say but he was interested all the same in hearing about your life and getting up to date with all the people you used to talk about together. Updating him on your job and all the changes that had been made before he commented on how even with all the changes your flat was still the same and it made him feel happy.

‘Hey Mase?’ You asked quietly when you saw him try to suppress a yawn and you knew he’d realised you’d seen when the bridge of his nose turned red like you used to love.

‘Yeah?’

‘Do you wanna stay here tonight?’ You asked, his eyebrows shooting up in shock as he clearly hadn’t expected you to ask anything like that but now you had him back here you didn’t want to let him go.

‘W-what?’ He mumbled, scratching the back of his head like he did whenever he got nervous but you send him a reassuring smile in hopes that would help.

‘I mean you don’t have to, but it’s late now and I won’t be having you walking home or paying for an Uber. Unless you want me to drive you home-‘

‘No you can’t drive me, I don’t want you driving back on your own’ he argued back but you were both smiling so you let out a little laugh before being a bit firmer with him.

‘So you’ll stay then? And I’ll drop you home on my way to work?’

‘I think that could work’ he nodded but you knew he was shy about it even though he had no need to be.

‘Okay perfect’

‘Do you still keep that blanket in the cupboard?’ He asked and you felt a wave of disappointment flood you.

‘Oh I um…’ you trailed off, realising he’d got the wrong end of the stick and you knew you needed to set him straight no matter how awkward it might get.

‘What’s up?’

‘Well I thought you might want to sleep in my bed? You know like… with me?’ You explained, his face a mask of shock as the words left your lips but you knew you needed to put the idea out there.

‘Oh’

‘Sorry I’m being silly’

‘No I want to, I just didn’t wanna push it you know? I wasn’t sure if that’s what you wanted’

‘I do’ you smiled. Holding your hand out for him to take and you felt your heart give a squeeze and he gently took it in his. ‘And I think it might be what you need’

‘I think so too,’ he laughed. A shy look on his face as you walked him through and into your bedroom and once you were inside you sent him a reassuring smile. ‘Get in, I’m just gonna use the bathroom and I’ll be with you’

You left him to sort himself out, quickly applying your skincare and trying to keep calm before returning to your room. Seeing Mason was already in bed and that he was still in his T-shirt but he’d stripped down to his boxers on the bottom half and you caught a cheeky flash of his thighs as you lifted the covers up.

You knew what you wanted, and what he probably wanted too so when you got yourself under the covers you turned away from him as you shuffled up close. Your back against his chest before taking his arm so you could wrap it around your body and you could tell from how stiff he was that he wasn’t expecting it but it only took a second for him to settle down and nuzzle into your neck.

‘I don’t think I need to wait until the morning’ you suddenly heard him whisper after a few moments and you felt your heart begin to pound. ‘I never ended things with you because I didn’t like you or I didn’t see us going anywhere. It was more that I didn't like myself. You’ve been the right person for me this whole time and I knew it long before we were friends, like it had always been my plan to make you mine and then when I finally got you I let you go’

‘Well you know what they say, Mase’ you whispered, holding him to you tighter and you felt him lightly kiss your shoulder. ‘If you love something you should set it free. And if it’s yours it’ll come back’

‘Will you come back to me then?’ He asked, his voice sounding more vulnerable than he intended it to. ‘Cause I’ll always come back to you’

‘I think we can work something out’ you whispered and you felt him stiffen before moving back so he could roll you over to face him. His eyes wide and glossy as he looked at you and you could tell you’d taken him by surprise.

‘Really? You’d wanna try again?’ He asked. Lip wobbling and it all became too much for him so you reached out to stroke his cheek and catch a few of the stray tears.

‘It just wasn’t our time back then, Mase. I get that now and yeah it sucked but if it’s really what you want then it’s what I’ve wanted since things ended’ you told him softly. Kissing the end of his nose as he shut his eyes softly. ‘I’ve been yours from the second you looked at me’

‘I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want this, or if you were seeing someone else’

‘Well lucky for you, you don’t have to worry about any of that’ you told him and you didn’t miss the look of relief on his face. ‘Things will be easier now we're closer okay? We can see each other more and all the things that drove us apart won’t be a problem’

‘You really think it’ll be that simple?’ He whispered, the hope in his eyes made you want to reassure him even further.

‘I think so, yeah. You said earlier you still loved me right?’

‘I did’ he laughed, not meeting your eyes as he blushed and you thought he was the most adorable thing you’d ever seen.

‘I still love you too’ you whispered, so quietly you thought he might now have heard you but from his reaction you knew he did. Letting out a shuddery breath before he hid his face. Giving you room to kiss all over his cheek until he had the courage to look at you again. ‘Shall we go to sleep?’ You offered, noticing how exhausted he was after a long evening and once he’d nodded you turned back onto your side and let him hold you close. Smiling at the way he was kissing your shoulder softly and nuzzled into your neck.

‘Hey Mase? Can I ask you something before we go to sleep?’

‘Anything’ he whispered, and the sound of his voice made your heart jump. Knowing he really would answer absolutely answer anything you asked him and this was something that had been plaguing your mind for a year.

‘That day I left to come home and you texted me the whole way, what did the message say that you deleted?’

You felt him let out a small chuckle, squeezing you a little before huffing and you knew it was something he probably never wanted to admit. You didn’t want to push him if that was the case but after a moment you felt his lips on your shoulder again as he began to speak.

‘It said, I think I’ve made a mistake. Can you come back and we’ll talk’ he told you quietly and you felt your heart pound at his confession. ‘I gave it ten minutes and said to myself if you hadn’t replied in that time then it wasn’t meant to be’

‘Mase’ you whispered, your eyes full of tears as a wave of regret from not checking your phone washed over you but he was quick to reassure you everything was fine.

‘It's okay, I’m glad you missed it’ he laughed. ‘It would have only made things worse probably. I needed that time to go through whatever was going on and realise how much I actually need you. Cause I really do’

‘I’m here’ you mumbled, turning you head to look at him and his whole face lit up as he looked down at you.

‘So am I. And I’m never going anywhere again okay?’

‘Me too’ you told him firmly before he finally lent down and placed the softest kiss to your lips. A feeling you’d waited almost a year for and when he pulled back to look at you, you almost felt disappointed but you could tell he was greedy for seconds. Diving right back in but with a bit more force this time and you let him do as he wished thankful the universe had brought him back to you.

355 notes · View notes

smuttyaf · 4 months

Text

The Camster Couple

𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰; 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐚 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰.

wc: 5k

spanking, choking, degradation and rough sex.

It all started on the blue app with the lowercase ‘t’ in the middle. Posting seductive selfies to revealing videos, you built quite the following from these appearances.

Admirers began requesting specific posts to ache their thirst. First it was particular lingerie sets, then prolonged videos touching yourself, soon it escalated into you role playing for the naughty viewers. Reciting everything the strangers would describe on how they’d like to use and abuse you.

But even after fulfilling all those demands, still came the bombarding questions of wanting more.

The requests to become a cam girl started to pour in. The constant debate down your feed about which website you should join. Maybe Chaturbate or Cherry.tv? No… Those weren’t good enough, but you still had time to ponder the idea.

Doing live shows had its advantages and drawbacks. For one, you’re getting paid to touch yourself, your revealing photos and videos will finally have a price on them. But, that doesn’t overshadow the dispute that your face could possibly be shown for everyone to see. You were fearful that maybe co-workers, friends, or even family might find out. However, the conflicting contrast that made you excited was the option to receive gifts. Followers had the ability of viewing your wishlist on certain cam-sites. It gave them the option to go beyond just tipping the model, but appreciating her even more… honestly that feature alone made you like the idea of doing it. But, the one major obstacle that really hinders your decision is your boyfriend; the one who doesn’t know about your second life.

That’s why you find yourself here right now, lounging together in your bedroom with your teeth grinding in your ear. Your eyes flick towards him when running your finger on the notepad; clicking on the search bar, you immediately type in the link to your blog. The familiar desktop background appears making you scroll through a few post till you turn your laptop towards Harry.

“Look at this.” His attention turns towards you placing it on his thighs.

You gaze at him while his fingers press down on the arrow key to move the screen further. “What do you think?” You ask. Warmth spreading throughout your cheeks as you let your hand rest along your stomach fiddling nervously with your tank top.

“I think you want me in trouble,” Harry smirks. He goes to pass the laptop back however you halt his movements.

With nervous smile adorning your lips, his expression transitions into one of confusing eyes, questioning your behaviour.

“I think you need to look closer.” You insist, finger dragging down the notepad. He scoffs, sight trailing back to the pictures on the fuzzy screen.

Harry doesn’t even listen at first, letting himself look over your unopened tabs that range from PrettyLittleThing to Xvideos. The glimpse of porn sites didn’t faze him, what does are the tabs that read “Most profitable webcams sites?” and “Best webcam site survey.” Bushy brows lock together, his attention going back to the revealing pictures of… hold on, that looks like your lingerie set… and that beauty mark right there belongs too.

His head snaps, mouth opening slightly with chest beginning to rise with nerves. He wants to be upset, wants to shut the laptop and demand answers but the growing bulge in his pants directs him otherwise, because as much as he should be angry right now that his girlfriend of eight months was taking provocative pictures of herself to upload on the internet, he was aroused.

“Since when?” Harry mutters, swallowing hesitantly. His gaze going between you and the picture of your chest displayed on the screen.

The look on his face is giving you anxiety. Heart pounding in its cage. You’re back to biting down on your bottom lip, diverting your attention to the highlighted keys.

“It’s been two years…” You mumble, finding the bottom of your laptop more interesting in this moment.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

You shrug your shoulders. You didn’t have a reason, you never thought your pictures would blow up and gain so much traction And you never thought you would get bombarding comments about wanting to see more of yourself. You groan, taking your finger away from the machine and running them through your hair, dramatically slouching your body into the bed frame.

“If you want to break up with me I totally understand.” You say, words muffled from your face burying into your crewneck. That makes a hearty laugh leave the brunette, the feeling of his hands gliding up your thigh stirs your head to peek up.

“Baby relax,” He reassures. Blinking at him you nestle deeper into his touch, shifting your body into him as the redness in your face begins to subside.

“You’re not mad?” You question, fiddling with your bottom lip. The thundering in your ear quiets down as you don’t see the angry face of your boyfriend appear. He lets out another light laugh, shaking his head and looking at you in a way that makes you sigh with utter relief.

“I —I’m definitely surprised… and a little upset… I mean you’re my girlfriend and you’ve been posting these but…” He looks between you and the laptop, his lips squeezing into his cheeks before breaking out into a sneaky grin. “You’re so sexy baby, I really can’t be mad.” He reveals, finger pinching your thigh.

The answer causes you to lean forward, arms linking around his shoulders as you press heartfelt kisses across his cheeks.

“I’m so sorry! I know, I know, I should’ve told you but… I was too scared and I’ve been doing this before I met you and… I just didn’t know what you would say,” You rant between kisses, his lips curling into amusement. The warmth of his hands run over your spine comforting you.

“Baby. Relax.” Harry replies, the tone of his voice settling your excited nerves. You quiet down, placing one last kiss on his cheek before looking up at him with shy eyes. “I’m not mad, just wish you told me earlier.” You nod at him pleasantly with smile set on your features.

Your breath draws in slowly with the quiet hum of the laptop sounding in the space. And just like before when you were nervous telling him about your promiscuous account online, you’re back to the bubbling feeling having to tell him the new escapade on your schedule. Clearing your throat, you raise up, licking over your bottom lip and locking your gaze with his.

“I do have one more thing though…”

Harry shakes his head playfully, smirk tugging along his features as he rubs your covered flesh in his palms.

“You want to be a cam girl?” He interjects. Stomach quivers with eyes fluttering in shock, you question were exactly he even got that idea or was it obvious. “It’s in your tabs babe.” Harry continues. Your cheeks go back to burning in embarrassment as you nod your head.

“Yes I want to do that but also…” His brows rise, surprised there is more to the story. “I want to do it with you.”

His features soon resemble yours with burning skin and body shifting under your weight. To your amazement he leans in, lips pressing against yours in a teasing kiss. The racing in your heart relaxes. You really had the best boyfriend in the world.

With the fondness of his lips against yours you pull away, cheerful smile shining as you hum with happiness.

“So… yes?”

Plaid pink skirt with embroidered bralette reflects across the screen as comments fill the message board.

You giggle at the viewers appreciating your half naked appearance. Thanking the many who are tuning in for your first show.

The sound of the sink cutting off in your adjoined bathroom rings through the space, it only makes you smirk at the events about to happen.

“I did say I have a surprise for my opening night.” Black letters roll in questioning the news. “I thought I would do it with a special someone.”

Harry’s footsteps sound through the room when he moves his way towards the bed. His hands going to your calves hanging off the frame and playfully tugging you down. It causes a smile to spread on your lips as you kick him away.

“Let’s start shall we.”

You adjust the frame of your laptop so it can hide Harry’s face as he slips in behind you. His fingers gracefully falling on your hip as you adjust to make space for him on the bed.

“I think they’re jealous.” Harry says, head leaning in to look at the comments reacting to him.

You watch his expression change as his eyes rake over the messages; jaw clenching with lips pressed tight together. You can tell he wasn’t pleased with whatever people were saying.

“I have to agree I’m mad too,” He responds to someone. Your face twists in confusion. “She’s been a bad little girl, hasn’t she?” His hand on your hip massages your skin roughly as you register his words.

“Not only deceiving you all, but me as well. So naughty not telling her boyfriend about what she does online.”

Biting down on your bottom lip you turn towards the screen with glint of happiness in your eyes. You know what mood Harry is in.

“She deserves a punishment, doesn’t she?” The hand on your hip leisurely glides into your scalp and grips it in his palm. Your head jerks back while his gaze is still caught on the computer; not even paying attention to what he’s doing.

“I think they’re starting to like me now.” Harry smirks, his other hand going to your breast and gripping it roughly.

The devious tone in his voice makes you whimper, eyes peering up at the ceiling as you let him grope your skin. Fingers transition from kneading it in his palms to twisting your nipples through the thin material.

“Yes, she’s been a very bad girl.” His digits pull away to slap your breast making you cry out. The sound you elect causing him to pull your head back once again, his body shifting from behind to gaze over your expression.

“Such a liar.” He says, eyes peering down as you look at him with pleasure written all over your face.

“You like being a liar, don’t you.” His hand meeting your skin again to pierce another smack against your tits. “Speak!” He orders, adding another blow.

“Yes sir.” You mutter, looking into his forest eyes and biting down on your bottom lip as he places one final slap to your skin.

“Tell me what you are.” Harry says, jerking your head, it makes you flutter your lashes up at him.

You’re too caught up between his freshly washed hair falling over his forehead and chest displaying his tattoos, that you don’t recall him demanding you to answer him again. His biceps flex when he lands another blow against your skin to knock you out of your daze.

“I’m a bad girl.” You tremble. His lips turn into a devilish grin. Hands roaming over your reddening skin.

“Mhm…” Harry hums with eyes searching your overwhelming appearance. “Across my legs.”

He relaxes his hold on your hair, letting you rise up on the bed to comfortably lay across his thighs. Your backside perched itself in the air. The ends of your skirt revealing your bare heat as his hand that once laid marks across your skin rubs against the material of your clothing.

“They’re calling you a dumb slut,” His hands go under your skirt to feel over your ass roughly. “I think I agree.” He smacks the flesh making you chew down on your bottom lip.

“Do you think you’re a dumb slut?” Harry taunts with another mark against your ass.

The atmosphere is influenced with pure lust from each swift, assertive motion of his palm lying roughly into your skin. Harry’s not even waiting for you to answer, he’s just placing blow after blow amongst your cheeks in pure arousal. The sheets underneath his hold ruffles against your body with each thrust.

You bite down harder into your bottom lip, fingers curling into the duvet as your eyes roll in hunger at the furious slaps causing hues of red blossoming under your skin.

“Dumb slut doesn’t know how to answer,” Harry cracks another heavy smack against your ass. High pitch whimper breaks through your lips when you jump at the action.

“Baby,” You cry but that only beckons another sharp slap.

“What’s my name?”

“S —Sir. I’m sorry sir.” You apologize for the mistake as his thundering smacks blaze across your skin.

“Dumb little fuck toy,” One hand leaves your cheeks and trails back into your hair. He’s tugging the strands so you can turn towards the laptop completely.

Catching sight of yourself in the camera your face is blazed red, lips bitten with tears brimming your eyes from the pain and pleasure coursing through your veins. The viewers are seeing you at your most vulnerable. Being taunted with bruises and degrading words, just for you to apologize to the one haunting your skin with waves of pain.

“Say it, say “I’m a dumb little fuck toy”,” Harry gloats. You can see in the view of the laptop his smirk as it’s the only feature that reveals his face. The palm of his hand makes another moan slip out of your mouth as it welcomes itself against your flesh.

He loves watching you wither and moan. He loves seeing your skin flourish with hues of pink from his finger prints leaving their marks, knowing that they will be there for days. He loves that with each smack of his hand you were getting off to it. He loves that if he were to move his position even lower he’ll feel your wet pussy ready for anything he has in store.

“I’m a dumb little fuck toy sir.” You whine, voice muffled from your face press into the sheets.

“Mhm…” Harry hums again, another painful slap burning your skin. “My dumb little fuck toy.” Smoothing his hand over your scorching flesh.

His grip on your hair jerks your head back, painful cry leaving your mouth as the straining sensation in your scalp makes your arms bend to pick your body off his thighs. He draws your head back even further, your legs flexing to move your position to now face him. The hand leaving heavy slaps against your ass sends one roughly across your face.

His jaw is still tense with eyes dilated in dominance. Your legs are now completely aching for his touch to spread over your pussy, just craving attention.

“Don’t you love being my fuck toy?”

You moan at the words, blinking up at him and nodding your head. “Yes sir.” You whimper, sucking on your bottom lip as he looks over your disheveled appearance.

Harry taps your face gently, lips flattening together as the hold he has on your hair pressures your face to meet his. Your tongues immediately exchange fluid as they dance against each other in passionate harmony, the feeling of his muscle running against yours has you moaning into the kiss.

The rough exchange of spit oozes between lips as you push yourself deeper into his embrace. His fingers curling into your hair welcoming your adventurous tongue as it glides against the wet expanse of his.

“I love being your fuck toy,” You mumble, pulling away and leaving string of saliva linked between you. His eyes glisten at your confession. It makes Harry smirk at you, his tongue escaping his mouth to sever the translucent connection.

The hand in your hair is breaking the sight between you both. His grip shoves your head directly into his lap, your nose digging into his crotch as his other hand goes back to rubbing your bruised skin.

“I think it’s time to put you to work.” Harry declares, his hold making you roam your face along his erection. Your breath rushing over his clothed shaft as he buries you into his lap.

The notifications of tips rings through the space. Audience entertained that you’re being degraded for their enjoyment. The thought alone arouses you, it made you moan against his cock. Followers and onlookers getting off to Harry completely doing anything that he wants to your body. Accepting the demeaning words that fuels your greed for pleasure, and letting him place as many smacks against your skin.

“Take my cock out.” He instructs, his grip relaxing as he lets you rise up to reach into his boxers.

Your hands glide over his member gracefully, fingers roaming over the thick expanse as your eyes look at him with pure adoration. Angry veins ranging in size roam under the stretched skin of him that has your mind completely hypnotized.

“Look at you,” Harry exaggerates with amusement. He gently slaps your cheeks in light taps, those motions making you smile with moan slipping out.

“Enjoying yourself like the slut you are,” He comments. His grip forcing the space between you and his dick to bring attention to pleasing him.

With fingers still lace in your hair, they effortlessly follow your movements when your head leans forward to pepper wet kisses along his shaft. Plump bitten lips smearing saliva messily over his erection, as they roam all along his length, tongue stretching around the girth.

Your hand goes to cup his balls, letting your mouth pick up motion with each descend down him. Tongue feeling over every inch, swallowing him down coating the expense of him in thick fluid from every stroke.

Your eyes flutter from the familiar feeling of him dragging down your throat. The way he fits so nicely like he was made to be there, it only makes you moan around him in pleasure. You love the way he stretches your throat blissfully, moving gracefully with the added slick. The sensation of him expending the flesh around him has your pussy throbbing for any form of treatment.

The quiver between your legs only increases when the grip Harry has in your hair is roughly forcing you back down his cock. Hips drawing slowly out of your mouth to push back in as he begins to fuck your throat. His nails curl into your scalp when he shoves your head all the way down to the point your nose is brushing against his groin, just letting you take his swift thrusts. His deep voice dripping in honey when satisfying groans pass through his lips.

“Take my dick like the good slut you are.”

Wet, obscure noise sounding throughout the atmosphere as he assaults your throat. His rough hands collecting your hair swiftly as he continues to drag your head up and down his cock. The aggressive lunges he makes with his own hips to meet your mouth causes your chest to burn for air.

Your palms tear away from his balls and run across his upper thighs, eyes barely open from the lack of oxygen running through your system. Your mind goes completely numb to the control he has over your movements.

And just as your nose brushes against his skin once more, he relaxes his grip in your locks, letting his fingers gently bring your head up. Heavy ragged breaths draw from your lips as your lungs ache in pain.

It’s only when you feel one of Harry’s hand leave from your hair to run across your face, that you feel wetness roam amongst your cheeks.

His other hand glides down your backside. Feeling over the bruised skin and slipping it between your legs to run his fingers down your folds. A hesitant breath escapes you with eyes blinking slowly at his dick glistening in your fluid.

“Always so wet for me, huh?” Index finger craving your clit around in circles.

You hum while nodding your head; your mind is in another dimension right now, you’re not even sure if you’re able to form coherent words. Your brain is in a cloudy daze, dancing between the raging sensations flowing through you.

It’s a mix between thrill and greed. You want more of Harry shoving himself down your throat till the point you pass out, you want him to push your face deeper down his cock and have your nails curling into his skin from the lack of oxygen. You want him to ruin you.

“So wet and ready to be used.” Harry states. Another finger occupying his movements, only causing your head to lean forward, broken whimper trailing out of your lips at the added pleasure you’ve been craving. “Be a good little slut for me. Won’t you baby.”

You nod your head, lashes fluttering against the hollows of your eyes while you lean forward and press lazy kisses along his dick. Harry motions continue to rub your clit around his two fingers, spreading your nectar along your folds with swiftness that you can’t help the moan that breaks through your lips.

“Say you’re gonna be a good slut for me.” His fingers continuing their fierce movements.

“I —I’m,” Voice coming out broken and damaged. Harry smirks at that. “I’m gonna be a good slut for you sir.” You manage to say, lips still roaming amongst his length.

“That’s my girl.”

His fingers leave your clit to dip between your folds and spread you open. Lengthy digits thrusting into your pussy slow. He feels the way your velvet walls sink around him, the sweet fluid that you’ve been producing since he’s been lying his hands on you, gliding down every inch of his skin as lets his fingers explore you.

You moan at the feeling of Harry slipping into your pussy provoking more filthy whimpers of pleasure, while your mouth drags down the expense of him.

You’re so turned on from the sensations coursing through you, you don’t even hear the constant pings of tips and comments coming through the chatroom. Viewers appreciate your tousled appearance and beg for more entertainment. They want more exposure of your skin being shown. They want more deafening slaps and disgraceful words, they want to see you wrecked.

Your lips wrap around Harry in a frenzy state, sucking him down your throat just the way you know he likes; tongue lying on the underside and feeling over every prominent blood vessel that blooms along his shaft, throat welcoming the thickness that buries itself deep in your throat till your nose is brushing up against his groin just like before.

As you continue to let pleasure course through you and roam down the span of him, Harry continues playing with your pussy. Lunging his fingers hungrily with your slick cascading down his fingers all the way to his knuckles, fucking his digits into your soiled box that you choke around him, only straining the burn in your throat.

“That’s my good slut.” Harry groans, his fingers curling into your heat as your eyes flutter. “Taking good care of my dick.” He continues to boast.

You hum from the gratitude, relishing in the compliment that’s given, you nod around him in acknowledgment with fingers curving gently into his skin while he continues his tantalizing motions.

“Wanna be an even better slut for me?” He questions. Your mouth drapes up the expense of him, saliva dripping from your lips as you turn to look up at him with swollen eyes and burning cheeks.

“Yes sir.” Nodding while blinking up at him. You’re sure the mascara that coated your lashes is all over your cheeks and streaked along the hollow of your eyes. You’re sure that Harry loves the damage he’s done to you.

“Gonna take my dick like the good girl you are? Huh? Don’t you want to be a good girl?” You moan at the words while nodding your head again at him. Whatever he wanted to do, you allowed. In the mind space your in, he could do no wrong.

“Yes sir.”

You let him push you off his lap and find his place behind you, handling you roughly as his hands leave your hair to position you better in the frame of your laptop. His fingers undo your bralette before pushing your back deeper into the duvet. His hands gliding down the smooth expense before tugging your skirt higher on your hips.

“Such a pretty pussy.” You hear behind you. Cock dragging down your aching heat.

“Please sir, I wanna feel you.” You moan, voice strained and raspy. Harry laughs behind you. Deep chuckle as if he’s amused by your comment. “Please sir, haven’t I’ve been good?” You beg, ass pressing deeper into his cock, that it only allows a smack to go across your cheeks.

“I don’t know, have you?” Pressing his cock between your folds to slide in effortlessly. Your walls expand around him, damaged voice moaning out swears from him filling you up completely as his hips meet your backside.

“Why did you lie to me?” Harry taunts, drawing back till his head is breached between your hole until he thrusts back in aggressively.

“Why did you lie to them?” He continues, his hand leaving your covered hips and bringing your wrist to hold behind your back.

You can only moan at the drastic strikes of his cock in you. He’s barreling down your walls aggressively that you’ve grown completely numb to the pleasure, just letting him manhandle you to the point you’re not even control of your emotions, he’s the one controlling them.

“Answer me!” He demands, his chest leaning in to grab your hair in his hands and twist your head to look directly into the camera.

“Tell them, tell me, why’d you lie.” Your eyes float over the colourful screen with black words darting up and down. There’s tears brimming your eyes at his thickness abusing your hole so roughly.

“I don’t know sir.” You whine, your free hand not in Harry’s grasp is curling into the duvet as he pounds away at your cervix.

“You don’t know?” He questions, continuing to bruise your pussy restlessly. You shake your head in his hold while whimpering at the pleasure. “You want me to give you the answer, will that make it easy for you? Hm?” He’s diving down your walls with such violation your mind is in a different place.

“Yes sir, tell me.” You moan into the sheets, the soft light from the laptop is blurry under your gaze.

“Because you’re a dirty slut. Say it, say “I lied because I’m a dirty slut.”” Nodding your head into the sheets you feel lonesome tears begin to run down your face as you let him degrade you for everyone and him to enjoy.

“I lied because I’m a dirty slut.” Crying into the sheets as he continues to stroke your walls dangerously.

“That’s right.” Harry husks, the grip he has in your hair releasing as it runs across your face wiping your tears. “But you’re my dirty slut. My dirty fuck toy.”

Shallow breaths draw in from your clit throbbing in arousal, your pussy continues to accept his thrusts that glide with ease from your nectar, walls enveloping him comfortably as he strides in with rough urgency.

He looks over your features; mascara smeared all over your cheeks, eyes trained dazzlingly at the screen beside you, chest heaving with ease as your backside sounds in the room with the fluid between your legs joining. He loves that he can push you to your limits and you still find pleasure in his devious ways. He loves that you accept his intensity with your own greed for wanting more.

“My pretty fuck toy. Only I can make you feel like this.” His hand coming between your thighs to toy with your clit. Heavy breath releasing from your chest as you dip your head in acknowledgment.

“Making you this needy over my cock. I know you love it.” You whine at the comment, knuckles going white against the bedsheets.

“Yes, fuck, sir, I love it.” Whimpering with gaze completely blurring with tears accepting his intense thrusts.

“My pretty slut.” Harry’s fingers rub your bundle of nerves in rough circles as he continues to drive your nerves up the wall.

The ringing from the laptop doesn’t overshadow the ones in your ears. Your eyes roll to the back of your head with it digging into the sheets. Your thighs quiver against his barreling ones, warm waves of euphoria coat your body in pure ecstasy from your climax overthrowing you.

Harry is grunting behind you, his movements never slowing just continuing their hungry paste. His hand that was wiping away your tears goes to land smacks against your backside to add to your electrifying orgasm coursing through you.

“Want me to make you even prettier? Want me to make you beautiful?” He insinuates, palm leaving another mark against your skin as he fucks you into the mattress.

The addicting sensation clouds over you from being completely disoriented at the assault between your legs. Brain in fuzzy whirlwinds of pleasure at the aftermath of your climax.

“Yes sir.” Whining with every jolt of your body.

“Gonna make you the prettiest toy.”

His hips lunge into you once more, thickness dragging down your walls enticingly before they pull out, his creamy seed runs down your folds in long spurts as he tugs himself off in front of your pussy.

Disappointing cry trails out of your mouth at the disappearance of his cock leaving your heat, but you can feel his cum running down your lips, and you can feel his hands roaming amongst your ass cheeks again.

“Look at you,” Harry smiles breathlessly, his grip over you making your backside face the laptop and display your ruined hole to the viewers.

“Look at how pretty you are.” His hands spreading your cheeks to showcase your pussy dripping in his cum.

There wasn’t much you could even do in the moment, continuing to let him present you as his fuck toy to your followers. The action had you actually smiling smugly into the sheets.

“My pretty girl.” Harry is leaving his place to lean over and press kisses along the side of your face.

And that is how your night ends, with the notifications blaring in the background with tips of your viewers thanking you for your first show.

409 notes · View notes

theautisticwriter · 3 months

Text

Love Letters: Yandere! Helluva Boss characters X G/N Reader

Characters- Blitzø, Moxxie, Millie, Loona, Stolas, Asmodeus, Fizzarolli

Show- Helluva Boss

Genre- romantic, yandere

Summary- Mini love letters from your not so secret stalkers admirers!

Warnings- swearing, pet names, yandere themes, mentions of planned kidnapping, stalking, delusional characters, unwanted attention

Word count- 1.5K

Extra notes- I have a Hazbin Hotel version of this uploaded as well!

key: f/l = first letter of your name, y/n = your name, n/n = your nickname

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By this point you know who it is y/n, I’m the only person COOL enough to send u romantic as fuck letters like the old people do

Sorry for eating the food u made last night, when i was raiding ur fridge it looked so fucking good (and it was, who knew u could cook :P). i left u a pony as a replacement, u can’t eat it but it’ll make u think of me ;) and that pony cost me a FUCK ton of money, collectors addition and shit. i know, bad fucking ass right??

the stupid shitty loud alarm u installed didn’t work when i came in, ud be much safer with me and loony. that’s the plan anyways babe, u have NO idea the fucking creeps that live down here, they’re all fucking animals and ur…not, a fucking asshole i guess.

i drew you smth (it’s the thing stuck on the back of the envelope with the glitter glu)

^glue

it’s me and u holding hands, like other couples do. we’re better than those corny fuckers tho, hence the crowns on our heads.

ignoring my texts, BLOCKING ME (still upset about this BY THE WAY) and then ignoring my very nice letters is kinda a dick move f/l, but it’s whatevs. everything is almost ready for ur move in. i cleaned up n everything :D

from the only bitch worth ur time,

blitzø

<3 (ignore that, moxxie threw a gun at me and my hand slipped, might fire him)

———————————————————

Hiya sweet cheeks!!!

It’s Mills here, just checking in! Via letter! Ain’t that just the fanciest little thing? Mox said it’s the best way to show thought and care to someone, so here’s all my thoughts and care, just for you!

How’ve you been? Good I hope, I’ve been just peachy thanks for asking! My Ma and Pa are super excited to meet ya one day, they’ve even started planning the wedding! Now I told them to slow their horses down, and not the overwhelm ya, we’ll get to that don’t you worry darlin.

Im just so excited to write this letter for you! Ain’t it so romantic?? I’m practically squealing in delight at the thought of you opening this and swoonin’, that’s what you’re doing, right?

Now i’m writing this on my break, and my boss really needs me back in the game! I got employ of the month! Most amount of kills, with the best and bloodiest results baby!

Until next time sweetheart,

Your Mills! ♡

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Hi y/n,

It’s Moxxie here, I was a little nervous to send this letter to you, but I always try to follow my heart, and my heart was telling me to communicate with you in the most romantic way I know how due to our current circumstances of being so far away. It’s hard, for the both of us i’m sure, but we’ll be okay y/n.

As much as I don’t get along with my father, he has been helpful with my preparations for your arrival. It’s a big deal, moving in together. I’m sure your anxious, I am too, but in the best way possible. Love is pure, and can make somebody feel whole, it’s a wonderful feeling. I never want that to be taken away from me, and you are the source of all my love. That’s why we need to be together, being only half a demon isn’t good for the soul.

We can do lots of fun things together as well, like go to the opera, or to musicals, or I can show you my shooting skills. My boss says that I have a pretty good shot, which is the biggest compliment he’s ever given me. And we can do things you like too, marriage is equal of course. Obviously, this will all happen later done the line, you’ll need time to adjust, and I understand that. I understand you.

I’m running out of room on my page, but I will write to you again tomorrow. Please respond? Just once, y/n? It’d be nice, to hold something from you since I can’t hold you yet.

All my love,

Your Moxxie <3

———————————————————

Uh, hi?

Wait, you don’t put ‘uh’ in letters do you? Or put wait whilst you think, fuck shit fuck

Sorry, I’m new to this. Normally I just send a text to people but, your phone is off at the moment I think? Or you lost it? Or you blocked me?

Either way, I’ll send you these stupid letter things until it’s back on. So, uh, what are you up to? Blitz has been up my ass about meeting you, heads up, when I come get you and bring you to our room he’s gonna go all psycho dad mode and integrate you, but he’ll back off after a while. He’s a dick sure, but he does want me to be happy. And your, likeable or whatever, so i’m sure you’ll get along.

Once you get comfortable at home with me, Blitz said you could work with me at I.M.P. You’ll be like the co-secretary or something. You won’t be put in danger, I won’t let that happen, you’ll just get to sit with me. We can watch things together, if you wanted.

I guess i’ll see you soon, how do you end these?

See you,

Love from,

Regards?

Bye y/n,

Loona.

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My dearest y/n,

I hope this letter finds you well. I yearn for your presence here, besides me. It’s quite lonely without you, I will admit my dear. It would be oh so wonderful if you could write back. I understand you may be preoccupied with your current activities, but I can’t help myself from desiring a response. I know, it’s selfish of me to expect you to reply to my letters when you’ll be here with me shortly, but I can’t keep my thoughts at bay at the moment.

Your face is a constant in my mind, night and day, asleep and awake, your voice in my mind calms me when I need it most, your smile brightens the bleariest of moments and so on. You can imagine the difficulties I’m facing with no response from you, but that’s alright. If you can’t write back to me dear, I won’t pressure you. Your time is precious, and we will have all the time in hell quite soon. Isn’t that exciting?

I can give you the life you deserve n/n, any luxuries or mundanities you wish for will be handed to you on a silver platter. Or a golden one, if that’s more to your liking? We can properly discuss the specifics once we are together. How thrilling, the though of you and I together at last.

We truly are written in the stars!

Yours until the end of the sky and then some,

Stolas.

———————————————————

Hey there baby,

It’s been a while, huh? I’m sorry if you feel neglected babe, it’s so hard keeping in contact with you when you’re so far away hun. Wouldn’t it be so much better if you were here with me? Sure I’ve got a lot of meetings, being a sin and all, but I’d be at your beck and call n/n, you could even be my new excuse to leave those awful “business” discussions. They barely talk business with me, it’s just complete bullshit babe.

I know the lust ring can be intimidating, we have quite the reputation, but I assure you, love is not a foreign concept to me. Romance is one of my most favourite things! Though that’s a secret, let’s keep that between us, yeah? That side of me is reserved for you n/n.

It’s so boring over here without you, I feel like i’m just lounging around and last time I checked, I was the lust sin, not the sloth sin. We’d have so much fun together babe! Can’t you picture it? Even if you can’t yet, I can wait. Having you near me will be enough, you are enough just as you are.

Sincerely yours,

Asmodeus (Ozzie) xoxo

———————————————————

Heya cutie!

Letters are a lot harder to write than I thought they’d be y’know? I’ve rewritten this like 16 times already, sheesh. It just feels so awkward, I can’t see your reaction to my words which means I can’t fix any mistakes I’ve made :(. I’m sure I haven’t made any though! Right? This letters going really well so far and is definitely wooing you, right, y/n?

Hah, I’m asking questions as if you can reply right away. Silly old me, I don’t know what i’m worrying about! We’re meant to be together. I know it’s super sappy, but we’re like soulmates. Soulmates are bound to be together! That’s why I’m bringing you home soon, I can’t wait! I’ve got sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many awesome tricks to show you!

And, the best news, I quit my job!! ༘⋆-ˋˏ ༘⋆-ˋˏ This means, we will have a LOT more time with each other, and you don’t have to worry about Mammon being possessive over me, because fuck him! I’m my own clown! Or, well, your clown.

I can’t wait to see you! This is going to be great for us, I pinky promise :P

Love from,

Fizzarolli !!!! ༘⋆!!,-!ˋˏ!!!

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kwimii999 · 1 month

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Default Face Presets Update (Heads, Mouths, Noses, Eyes) :

So I've been working on the presets and trying to find the perfect proportions for each category. I've currently finished re-doing all the eyes but I want to finish everything before I even upload anything.

EA Default Eyes Presets :

Current WIP of eye replacement :

Other than that....

The noses and mouths need a complete overhaul

For the mouths : Removing their permanent smiles and changing them a little + bonus mouth presets for bigger lips

The noses : Making them look less wonky and creating more realistic variations + Changing their height to match the V.2 heads

The heads will recieve more work than I thought it would need

For flavor 1 + 2 : Since I love using the facesmoothNormals slider, I'll more than likely make a flavor where that is present (or atleast see if that's possible)

For flavor 3 + 4 : For people who want less of a cheeky look to their sims, I might make a flavor where there's that reduced instead. + smoothfaceNormals with that as well (if it is possible)

If adding manually the smoothfaceNormals is not possible then It'll remain to 2 flavors.

To show exactly why I'm working so hard on these presets, here are some random generated sims with all the current presets in question + coupled with random sim fixes by LadyDuchess and Townies outfits by FloTheory.

I feel like they look better than what I'm used to seeing :)

This is kinda becoming an NPC/Random sims overhaul, by accident ? LOL

#ts3 #the sims 3 #sims 3 #wip

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jupitermoontarot24 · 2 months

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👑How Should You Customize Your Avatar Next?👑💅

Welcome back guys! Got this idea from a couple readers on here so thanks to them!

Personal readings are in my shop if interested!

ENJOY as always 💋

Pile 1

welcome.

pile one I feel like you should start wearing stuff that shows off your torso more. you should get low rise jeans and pants also clothes that are flowy. you should get a tan or at least a bronze. some type of glow to your skin. you should start wearing hoop earrings big hoops small hoops, bracelets stack them also wear accessories and jewelry in your hair. Emphasis on the waist because the song playing in the background is wasted love lol. I think you should also show off your chest area more. More like your collarbone not cleavage but your actual chest area. I feel like you should grow your hair out if you're wearing it short. if you been think about cutting your hair don't lol you should embrace long hair at least for this pile. You should start working on your summer body. You don't want to be at the beach feeling like a whale because you were in Fairy Tail land. if you want something to change you should work on it so if you want to be summer ready you should work on being ready. I also feel like if your hair is a certain color right now you should probably change it. if you colored your hair during a specific season and it's a different season now you need to change it to match the present. If you do want to color your hair a different color you should go blonde maybe or brown or red for some people or pink. I feel like you should start incorporating dresses more into your wardrobe. You should start wearing dresses a lot more or a skirts. I would also invest into some good pajamas that are cute and nice pajama sets. Also hair accessories like I said headbands scrunchies stuff like that. You should also get some different frames of glasses if you've been thinking about that. Get into reading more it'll bring alot more enjoyment and it'll increase your intelligence and vocabulary so if you think about reading some books I would do that as well. There's something about having blonde hair that will help you attract more people. You might get a lot more attention being a blonde and for some people you might meet your future spouse while you're blonde. You have beautiful boobs pile one. I'm not sure if you've been thinking about changing that but there's nothing wrong with your chest area and spirit wants you to know that. I would also get a new wardrobe. There's something about getting rid of shirts and tops and wearing more dresses, sets and skirts maybe even jumpsuits but I don't see you wearing jeans that much mostly bell bottoms or flowy pants. If you been thinking about getting ombre hair or decorating your apartment to match your aesthetic you should. Script what you want your physical appearance to look like! You have that power

Pile 2

Welcome

Off the bat pile 2 you should start taking more pictures. You should start having whole photoshoots especially when you're dressed up. have a face of makeup and your hair is done. You need to take photos because you are not capturing any moments and if someone were to ask to see you or something happened to you they wouldn't have any photos to show. if your bestfriends were yo meet your favorite celebrity, would they have any cute photos of you to show? That's not what you want! You want to have a “ that's them” photo. You should update your profile picture and you should upload more on your social media. You should try out some new makeup look, more bold looks. Eyeshadows and lipsticks. if you were thinking about coloring your natural hair you should but still keep it natural. I see like a Balayage, ombre, highlights or going one shade lighter. I would also start wearing necklaces more or wear necklace that you can wear every single day. You need to start acting like you are somebody. Its like all your beauty goes to waste because you don't take pictures and you don't experiment too much with your looks as much as you can.. If you were trying to work on your body and lose weight you should start dancing! Zumba or even just dancing in your room with earphones to burn calories as well. You should also get a tattoo or another. Put some art on your body. It seems like you have long hair and I think it's fitting for you but I do think some type of color could be nice as well. I'll also start incorporating solids in your wardrobe. if you don't have any Basic Black white or gray tops you should get some. You don't want every shirt you have to have a Graphic or a print on it just in case you have to dress more upscale or something. Especially if you wear younger hairstyles like buns or pigtails ponytail stuff like that you want to balance that off by wearing a more mature outfit that day. You don't like a teenager if you're not lol. I would start trying to mature my wardrobe if I were you. Start cleaning out your old wardrobe for stuff that you don't want anymore. Also clip off your dead ends of your hair it'll make your hair grow faster. I would also invest in your skincare not just your face but your whole body. I would also invest in nice pajamas if I were you. Stuff thats comfortable but also cute or sexy. You could be drawn pile one.

Enchanting & Gucci Mane - Issa Photoshoot [Official Music Video]

Pile 3

Welcome

If you have you been thinking about upgrading your phone you should(new phone or update software). I would invest in good lip products, more lip glosses, balms and stuff like. I would also cut some of the ends off of your hair, clip your dead ends. You should get your nails done pile three, get your nails professionally done you deserve it! and get them long if you like that. It’ll make your hands look better and it'll make your presence more put together. You could be drawn pile two. You could be drawn to all of the piles. I would say also get another tattoo or one in general. if you've been thinking about a certain ideas you want get them. I think if you have tattoos now they're really nicely placed and they look good so as you continue to build them they will look really good together. I think you have that down pack. I would invest in more hats and scarves (spring scarves, summer scarves, bucket hats). I think you should start dressing out the box .Let your inner child pick the outfits out some days and wear stuff that maybe shouldn't go together but it does. Like how bratz used to wear skirts over leggings or stuff like that. The belt over the dress lol. also don't put yourself in a box when it comes to your wardrobe because I see you dressing differently every single day because your style changes on the day. I would also say let people pick out your outfit sometimes or certain pieces for you. if you go shopping with one of your friends or your partner and they say” do you like this? you think it's cute? or I think this will look good with you!” Take their advice because I think you might end up looking really good. If you've been thinking about getting your nipples pierced you should. if you've been thinking about getting into voice lessons or singing or voice acting you should. I think this is something you really dream of doing and it's a dream for a reason you should act on it. People might pay more attention to you than you think they do in this pile. You look cute though overall.

Pile 4

Welcome

Pile four if you have been thinking about getting a tattoo you should definitely get it. I think tha'ts come out in every pile lol. You could be drawn to more than one. if you've been thinking about getting something tatted down your spine or any placement on your back or stomach you should go ahead and do it. if you are looking for ideas for a tattoo you should do something that has a symbolization to yourself. That could be something that represents your name meaning or your culture, ancestry, past life whatever. You should start adding more dark clothing to your wardrobe. Pieces of black clothing, different designs of black clothing. I see you gaining more weight in the right areas to where you can look more full in a feminine way or take it how it resonates. Fat booty? Anime thighs? If you have you been thinking about getting a pet you should get that as well. Your pet could end up being a soul animal or you should get a tattoo of an animal that represents you. I think funky hair colors look really good on you so if you ever colored your hair blue or pops of color you should go back to that. I think Spirit really likes that on you and it fits your personality. Try blue, red or blonde. I think you should also step up your shoe game, get some more sneakers or sandals or whatever to rock with your outfits. If you haven't been going to the gym you should start. I think you should also get into yoga or something that will help in easing the mind and body. You should wear crystals, get crystal necklaces or bracelets or something or hold them in your pocket. If you're trying to lose weight you should drink green tea or some type of tea. If you're trying to gain weight you should take protein before you work out. You should definitely get your hair a crazy color again, don't go back to black or brown. You should also decorate your room to make it more spring and lighter. I would also experiment with hair extensions as well as add-ons to braids making your braids super long or clip-ins.

CHECK OUT MY PAST READINGS

UNTILL NEXT TIME

XOXOXOXOXO

#daily tarot #love #pac #pick a card #pick a pile #soulmates #tarot #tarot reading #twin flame #18+

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psychedelic-ink · 1 year

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𝐇𝐈, 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 - 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐄𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐲 𝐈𝐧 𝐁𝐞𝐝

pairing: pre outbreak!joel miller x f!reader, one sided tommy miller x f!reader

genre: angst, smut, romance, slow burn, mutual pining, secret relationship

series summary: After your grandfather’s passing, you find yourself moving into his home in Texas. You meet the Millers; Tommy, his older brother Joel and his daughter Sarah. With time, you and Tommy become close friends and Sarah visits you often. But Joel…Joel keeps his distance. The reason for this is due to one crucial fact you don’t know but he does; Tommy has a crush on you. Which means you’re off limits no matter what. But as your own feelings for Joel grow, things start to get more and more complicated.

word count: 8k

chapter summary: Joel takes you on your first date. A barbecue meant to be fun becomes a minefield of unpleasant memories for Tommy.

warnings: mutual masturbation, piv, dirty talking, light spit play, PTSD, war flashbacks, angst towards the end

a/n: yup, you're seeing correct, I uploaded a day early!! woooo

Chapter Ten || Chapter Twelve

When Joel mentioned taking you out for a date, you couldn't help but imagine something simple and unassuming, just like him. You envisioned a quaint, unpretentious restaurant where you could share intimate conversation, followed by a leisurely stroll back home. You knew Joel wasn't exactly an innovative man; however, his wood carving skills, took you by surprise when he showed you some of his artwork, it made your heart grow fonder for him. As much as he poked fun at himself for not understanding art, or knowing much of it, he was an artist.

In the end, you weren't expecting anything extravagant, and you had no complaints about it. That was a part of his Texan charm. It was who he was, and you loved him for it.

What you didn't expect was to take a thirty to forty-minute drive to South Congress.

“You didn't have to go through all this trouble,” you say as Joel opens the truck door for you. Smiling, he rolls his eye. He offers you his hand, and with a skip in your heart, you accept it, feeling the heat of his palm. Joel steadies you as you hop down from the vehicle. Sarah was at another sleepover, carefully orchestrated by Joel, making it the perfect time for him to take you on the first date he mentioned a couple of days ago.

“It’s no trouble,” he answers, moving his jaw. “But if you keep sayin’ that I’m gonna start thinkin’ you’re not a fan of the idea.”

“Oh, I’m definitely a fan. No need to worry your pretty head about that.”

Before taking the first step, he holds your arm and tugs you back toward him. Your eyes widen when he throws your jacket over your shoulders, “‘Might get cold,” he murmurs, fingers skimming down your bare arms. Then he sighs. “I love it when you call me pretty. Makes me all tingly inside.”

“Well then,” you smile, leaning closer. “Let me say it again, you’re pretty. Prettiest man I know.”

Joel's lips curl into a wide grin, his humming filling the air. “I’m blushin’,” he teases, capturing your lips in a swift, lingering kiss, lacing his fingers with yours. “I knew this would be a good idea,” he mutters against your lips in a self-congratulatory tone. His taste lingers on your mouth, leaving you craving more.

“I don’t want to burst your bubble but I’m still not sure what we’re doing here. You never told me.”

Hand in hand, you and Joel set off, walking down the street at a leisurely pace. The sun, beginning its descent from the vast expanse of blue skies, painted the world in a soft, golden hue.

“We’re here to look at the murals,” he explains. “Thought you might like it, bein’ an artist and all. And if we get hungry there’s this Tex-Mex place I like to go to, I take Sarah there all the time.”

He's nonchalant about it, yet he still averts his eyes. A soft crimson flares under his shirt, creeping up his neck and tinting his cheeks. Your heart beats quickly. You may now be a part of his life, but Sarah will always hold a tender place in his heart. Something he hesitates to share, like a tiny box of secrets. She's his everything. You wonder how many times he had to keep that part of himself hidden, how many times he mentioned his daughter and saw the hesitation in the other party's eyes. It's no one's fault, really. It's a complicated situation no matter which side you consider. And you're fairly certain he's never mentioned his romantic endeavors to Sarah. Why would he? To him, none of it ever led anywhere, so there was no sense in telling her about it.

You don't want him to be nervous about sharing more about that part of his life. You have adored Sarah ever since you met her. Now, you're somewhat grateful that it took the two of you longer than normal to get here. It gave you a chance to show him that no matter the state of your relationship, you'll be there for Sarah, for Tommy, and for everyone he cares about.

Because you care about them too.

“You visit here a lot?”

He tips his chin, “We used to,” he answers and offers you his arm, you thread the gap between torso and tricep. “When she was five we came here a lot. Really liked it.”

A half chuckle, half exhale leaves his lips. You give him a sympathetic look. “Well, maybe we can come here together one day. Tommy too. We can make a day of it, I bet she misses it.”

"Yeah," his eyes glaze over for a second, looking ahead towards the sun-kissed street. You softly dig your nails into his arm, snapping him out of it. He blinks and tenses under your touch. "Yeah, we definitely should. Maybe during spring break or somethin’."

You squeeze his arm again, and when he turns to look at you, you smile. He returns it in kind, and you feel his smile leave an imprint on your skin as his lips touch your forehead.

“Can’t wait to show you all of it, sweet tea.”

And he does.

Joel shows you everything that he loves. The streets of Austin come alive with vibrant murals, each one captivating in its own way—some simple, some complicated. You see the South Congress Mural on South Congress Avenue that stands tall, its graffiti letters painted in vibrant colors, depicting the cityscape. The italicized phrase 'I Love You So Much,' spray-painted by Amy Cook for her partner Liz Lambert—Joel doesn't say much here. He stares at it for a while before gripping your hand tighter. Suddenly, he tugs your arm, pressing his lips firmly against yours, sucking the air from your lungs. Here, you take a quick coffee break and continue on.

There are so many. Your eyes catch sight of a mural depicting a piece of toast and yellow butter, lovingly painted on a vibrant blue wall, inside the piece of butter and toast it says “you’re my butter half”. You laugh and nudge Joel in the ribs and repeat the words to him. His smile is the widest you’ve ever seen.

Joel introduces you to Jeremiah the Innocent. A smiling cartoonish frog, on top of it you read HI, HOW ARE YOU. He then told you that Jeremiah had another name as well— Ron. Named by, of course, Sarah. Leaning closer, you tell Joel that you agree, the frog looks much more like a Ron rather than a Jeremiah.

After that Joel, a keeper of his word, takes you to a small Tex-Mex place. He orders chips and queso as an appetizer, followed up by two cold beers and tacos.

"I think you might have killed me," you say, rubbing your stomach and leaning back as the cold metal of the chair bites into your skin.

Joel cocks an eyebrow, a small smile touching the corner of his lips. “So. . .no dessert?”

“Don’t joke,” you answer seriously. “I always have room for dessert.”

He laughs, “You sound like Sarah,” just as you begin to smile, he adds. “And Tommy actually. That man has an endless pit instead of a stomach.”

“Tell me about it.” you grin.

The sun begins to disappear, shades of light blue fading into something darker that lingers in the sky. It reminds you of the times when you angrily slap your widest brush on top of the canvas and just move it around without any aim or goal. The string lights come to life. Joel looks gorgeous under the soft glow; it's almost dreamlike. If you were to reach out, you're not entirely sure that he wouldn't fade away.

His hand finds yours over the table, lacing your fingers together. A stuttering, silent breath escapes your lips. The effects of alcohol buzz both in your veins and mind. His thumb traces your knuckles, a gesture so familiar yet foreign at the same time. With a smile, you bring the back of his hand to your lips before he does. You tenderly kiss him, feeling the softness of lips moving over the mountains and valleys of his hand. His breath hitches, and your ears feel warm.

"Should we head back?" he murmurs, his voice dipping into something darker. His thumb finds purchase on your lower lip and tugs on it, eliciting a soft gasp. "I think I'm gettin’ hungry again."

You kiss the pad of his thumb as he cups your cheek, and you nuzzle into the width of his palm. Wetness gathers between your legs, heat building at the base of your spine. You can't wait for him to devour you.

Joel’s fingers trace the spine of the book that lays idly on your bedside table. He adorns a soft smile, gaze curious as he picks it up.

“I’ll be right back,” you say, turning your back as he begins to flip through the pages. “I’m going to freshen up a bit, make yourself comfortable.”

With that, you exit the bedroom and head to the bathroom. You're feeling positively tingly. The ache in your bones would normally entice you to go to bed early, but sleep is the last thing on your mind right now. All you want is for that man to ravage you. During the drive back, the only thing on your mind was his lips, his hands, his cock—his weight on your body.

You quickly splash cold water onto your face, sighing as the cool numbness replaces the sticky sweat from the day. After brushing your teeth, you head back.

You smile when you see Joel sitting at the edge of the bed, book still in hand.

He’s looking at something.

You raise an eyebrow, taking a step closer. There’s something in his hand, something smaller and vaguely familiar.

Shit.

Shit shit shit shit.

“Joel?” Your voice barely manages a whisper, you're surprised he hears your pleading call of his name. He flinches, shoulders raising all the way to his ears. You clear your throat. “What. . . What are you looking at?”

You already know the answer.

"How long have you had this?" he asks, every word sounding dull. He twists his body enough to face you, holding the small Polaroid picture between his fingers— oh god, you're screwed, aren't you?

"I-I can explain," you blurt out, increasing your steps' speed. You stand in front of him, the picture's glossy surface reflecting the light into your eyes. "You forgot your magazine, and when I opened it to read it, the... the picture just fell out, I swear! I know I should've told you, gave it back, but, well, I—"

Unable to keep your eyes open due to the constant spinning of the world around you, you close them. His gaze remains fixed on you, half moons hidden beneath bushy eyebrows. Embarrassment surges through you, heating you from the inside out. In a fit of desperation, you cover your face with both palms, sighing into them. "Fuck, I'm so sorry," you mutter, your voice muffled by your hands.

Joel stares at you, dumbfounded. With shaky legs, he stands and gently cups your wrists, tugging your hand away from your face. You refuse to meet his gaze, your eyes glued to a spot on his neck. You miss how wide his eyes are, how his gaze grows soft as he stares.

“Why are you sorry?” he whispers. “I think you misunderstood, sunshine. I ain’t mad. I’m embarrassed.”

“What?” you furrow your brows, lifting your gaze. “Why?”

He smiles, “Lots of why’s goin’ around,” you continue to stare and he clicks his tongue. “It’s a half-naked picture of me. A picture that I took, you can’t blame me for gettin’ flustered.”

“You look good.”

“Thanks,” he scoffs with a raised eyebrow. “Well, I guess it’s better that you found it instead of. . . Tommy or worse.”

You know what worse means. He’s right, he was lucky it had been you.

“I’m just glad you’re not mad.”

“Me, mad at you?” he shakes his head, looking appalled by the thought. “Never.”

“Don’t be so sure.”

His hands drop to your waist. Fingers roughened with work digging into your flesh. The excitement you felt comes rushing back, flooding your veins. Joel pins your hips together, the growing outline of his cock brushing your clothed mound. You gasp and he inches impossibly close, lips brushing your ear. “Why did you have it in your little book over there?” he drawls, his voice thick. “Did you touch yourself lookin’ at it, sweetheart?”

Your voice shakes and you can barely get a word out. You swallow, shaking your head.

“Don’t lie,” he hums. The drag of his lips down your neck turns your insides into mush. “Can I see?”

“See what?”

A moment of silence follows. You take this time to unbutton his jeans and slip a hand underneath the dense fabric. You cup his length, and it hardens in your palm, growing in size. Your breath hitches as his hips move forward, chasing the grip of your fingers. Taking a deep inhale, you breathe him in, filling yourself with his scent.

“I wanna watch,” his voice cracks. “See how you touched yourself while thinkin’ of me.”

Your breath hitches, “And what will you be doing?”

You stroke him slowly, the pad of your thumb moving over the slit before moving down again. You shiver at the feeling of his hot breath against your skin.

“I’ll be watchin’, sweetheart. Engraving your spread-out cunt into memory.”

“Jesus, Joel,” you breathe heavily, your pulse loudly thrumming in your veins. Joel is absolutely filthy—something you never thought you’d be thinking. He tugs you towards the bed. With every step, another garment falls to the floor. You’re shivering all over, body cold yet warm at the same time. The expectation crackling in the air pricks at your skin.

What is this? It never felt like this before. A need so desperate. A want so large. In this moment you’re convinced that you and Joel were always meant to be as pretentious that might sound. You have no idea how else to explain it. Every time you’re with him, even in the most peaceful moments, you feel an impending. . . something. You’re not sure what it is yet but you know it’s a wicked, dark feeling. A dystopian surrealism. The works of Zdzisław Beksiński; death, destruction, shattered worlds. . . yet still beautiful. You love those paintings. Just like Joel, it leaves you uneasy and mystified.

The air is knocked from your lungs as your back hits the bedrest, your naked legs falling open like a butterflys’ wings. You wait for a touch that never comes. Joel drags the chair and takes a seat. He pulls out his hefty length, fingers loosely curling around it. You hold your breath.

“Don’t keep me waitin’ now,” he rasps as he touches himself lazily. “Show me.”

Your eyes never leave him, and you slowly circle your clit with two fingers. An immediate sense of relaxation and soft pleasure blossom over different patches of skin. You pinch the sensitive bundle of nerves and continue moving your fingers around. You arch your hips, wetness growing with every stroke. Your insides clench. Joel’s heavy breathing fills the room, your own breathing coming out in short pants.

“Spread yourself darlin’,” his voice lowers, making your stomach turn. With two fingers you show him, spreading yourself s while you circle the middle one around your clit. A soft whimper of his name echoes from the back of your throat. It’s different like this. Knowing that he’s right there, staring, observing your every move. It lits a fire between your legs. A feeling so raw and open.

Your ache swells inside of you like wildfire. You keen at the slick sounds of Joel’s fist accompanying your own lewd sounds. The rest of the world falls silent, your mind a complete blank, your sole focus on the man that makes you feel soft and tender.

A build-up to an orgasm can be a strange thing. Sometimes you don’t think of anything or anyone, just focused on your fingers and the fire between your legs. Other times your imagination becomes so vivid that you swear there’s a cock splitting you open. Your stomach clenches, muscles rippling under the faux feeling of someone being there with you. And, technically, there is someone with you but not in the typical sense. Your back lifts from the mattress, your feet sliding down the soft sheets as your fingers move frantically. You can feel it hardening, throbbing under your ministrations.

“That’s it,” Joel groans, the bed dips, you’re too far gone to notice he stopped jerking off and is inching closer for a better look. “Come for me, darlin’. Let’s see how you make a mess.”

Your ears ring

Your lips part so wide that the corners are aflame

Your throat constricts a silent plea

Your fingers twitch, insides pulsing as you gush and make a mess—just like he wanted.

You love doing what he asks of you.

You feel it trickling down the inside of your thighs, the curve of your ass. It’s too much. Whimpers rattling your chest, your throat sore. Joel mutters praise, telling you how good you are, how perfect. Another soft lingering orgasm warms you from the inside out, more drops of pure ecstasy spilling over.

He trails his hand up the inside your thigh, slick gathering at the tips of his fingers. A soft gasp leaves your lips as you clench around nothing, “Next time I’m bringin’ the camera over.” you give him a look and he chuckles. “It’s only fair, don’t ya think?”

“I don’t think that picture will be sexy as you think,” you answer, smiling.

He frowns, his look almost glaring as he stares into your eyes, “Bulshit. You’re gorgeous. It’ll be like havin’. . . the . . . Mona Lisa in my pocket,” he says, slightly unsure.

"I do appreciate you using art references whenever you talk to me; it's like a gimmick," you grin and wrap your arms around his neck, tugging him closer. "Hey, if you want a picture, you can have one. Just promise not to leave it lying around like you did with your own. I don't need any more embarrassing moments in my life."

“We all have embarrassing moments.”

“That doesn’t sound like a promise,” you answer with a playful lilt. He rolls his eyes, a hand sneaking down between your bodies, he aligns himself with your sopping sex, cock filling you slowly, inch by inch. Your eyelids flutter, a moan ripping from you.

Fully inside you, he murmurs into your mouth, “I’ll guard it with my life. Promise.”

His words fall on deaf ears. Your vision blurs at the stretch of his cock, drawing his hips back, only the bulbous head remains. He watches you. Watches your fluttering cunt adjust to the size, then, just as you’re about to say something, he slams into you. Electricity crackles over your skin, a sensation that makes you feel numb. Joel buries his head into your neck, kissing and nipping the sensitive skin as he sets a brutal pace. His strokes are slow and hard. Every ridge felt as he massages the insides of your cunt. It’s exhilarating. Breathtaking. So much so that you think you’re crying a little, soft salty tears gathering in your eyes.

“You wanna know something?” he groans, fucking deeper into you. “I thought of you while takin’ the picture. Thought about this perfect cunt.”

He holds your thighs with a heavy hold, pushing both legs up until your knees are grazing your forehead. You don’t think being a pretzel ever felt so good. Joel jackhammers into you, the wet glide of his cock leaves you breathless. Between narrowed eyes you watch him; his brows furrowed with concentration, lips slightly ajar, pink tongue poking out. He’s flushed. The soft tint of red looks good on him. You desperately want to bury your lips into his neck and lick the vein that meanders down, you want to sink your teeth into it.

In a quick glimpse, his eyes briefly catch yours. The muscle in his jaw moves and he licks his lips, the color in his irises gone, eaten away by lust. You notice him pursing his lips and your eyes go wide, a thin line of saliva drips from his mouth, adding to the mess between your thighs. Your breath falters, you squeez him tight. His hips stutter but he’s not phased by the sudden tightness.

“Touch yourself,” he commands, voice hoarse. “I wanna feel you comin’ around my cock.”

You moan at how soaked you are, your fingers playing with the mixture of spit and slick. It doesn’t take you long. A couple swipes of your fingers and you’re seeing stars. Your orgasm sears you from the inside out, your entire body tensing at the force of his thrusts. With a knee-jerk reaction, you grip the back of your thigh, nails biting into your skin. He pushes your hand away, thumb soothingly going over the crescent-shaped marks.

His unwavering gaze aggravates you. A sudden shame rolling in your stomach, he bats the thoughts away by allowing your legs to fall and frame his broad waist. Suddenly his lips are on your own, sucking your tongue into his mouth, swallowing the moans. He tastes your hesitations, your fears, your unsaid love for him—all of it, from a single, hungry, messy kiss.

Joel’s hips slow down into a delicious grind, the coarse hairs that crown his cock doused, you feel the brush of his pelvis on the pearl that beats. Your insides flutter one last time before he’s pulling out, spilling over the soft flesh of your stomach.

“Fuck,” he moans into your open mouth. You shudder at the trickle of seed on your skin. “That was amazin’ sweetheart. You always feel so fuckin’ good. ‘Can’t wrap my head around it.”

You giggle, “I hope you know the feeling is mutual, neighbor,” you feel the wet drag of his lips down your cheek. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt this good before.”

“You’re just sayin’ that,” he tuts, breath fanning your neck.

“Do I need to remind you how we ended up in this bed?” you tease. “You, finding a picture of yourself that I masturbated to? If that doesn’t convince you I don’t know what will.”

He thinks about it for a second then shrugs, “Fair.”

“By the way thank you for. . . everything. I had a great time Joel,” you thread your fingers through his mussed hair and he lays his head on your chest. His hand gently cups the underside of your breast, a possessive gesture. You feel the scrape of his beard as he speaks.

“I didn’t do nothin’ special. You deserve more.”

Your heart clenches the ache of his self-deprecation a reflection of his inability to perceive his own worth. “Stop selling yourself short—”

He cuts you off, “You deserve to have a relationship you don’t need to hide. It’s not fair.”

Your heart splinters, torn between the desire to protect what you have and the yearning to be truthful to those that you love. When your silence grows, Joel look up to you, his eyes wide like full moons. And just as somber. Your lips crack in a smile.

“It’s okay,” you whisper. “We’ll tell him eventually. When we’re ready, right?”

He swallows, throat moving. “Yeah,” he answers, gaze breaking away from yours. “We will. When we’re ready.”

Neither of you are brave enough to ask when that might be.

The sun beats down on Tommy’s skin and with the back of his hand, he wipes away the sweat on his forehead. Next to the grill is always the hottest. It’s a beautiful day out, birds chirping, sun shining and whenever a cloud passes by, adding a bit of color to the boring blue sky, Tommy sighs in relief, enjoying the fleeting coolness of the passing shadow.

Joel is at the grill, and from the corner of his eye, Tommy sees him turning the ribs and chicken wings. A loud sizzle fills the air, and with a hiss, Joel backs away, cursing as a searing drop of fat lands on his tanned skin. In typical younger sibling fashion, Tommy laughs, earning an equally heated glare from his older brother. Neither of them says a word. Joel returns his gaze to the meats, while Tommy shifts his eyes back to the large bowl he's holding. It contains a mixture of a generous amount of barbecue sauce, olive oil, Worcestershire sauce, minced garlic, smoked paprika, cayenne pepper, salt, and black pepper. He gives them another vigorous stir before adding the stemless button mushrooms. He tosses them all together until each one is evenly coated.

A bead of sweat rolls down his face, “Joel, I know you have this sense of always wantin’ to be right but I doubt our recipe is gonna be the one to change her mind about mushrooms.”

“It will,” he grunts, shirt dipping and sticking between his shoulder blades. “If she doesn’t, more for us.”

“Well, I guess that’s one way to look at it.”

Joel doesn’t answer and Tommy doesn’t bother to force a conversation. The silence he shares with his brother has always been a comfortable one, but lately, that hasn’t quite been the case. There’s this wall that he can’t seem to breach no matter what he does or says. And ever since Joel broke up with Asha, it only got worse. He can’t shake the sense that whatever his older brother had in mind, it must be about you. It has to be.

Tommy’s feelings for you haven’t exactly disappeared. As much as he wished he had a button to turn it all off, he can’t, but he was telling the truth when he said he didn’t mind staying friends. What he feels for you is more than that. He enjoys your company, your jokes, your thoughts. He can’t imagine living out the rest of his life without it.

However, he's not stupid, contrary to what many people might believe.

Tommy has noticed the stares, the weird tension in his brother’s shoulders whenever you’re around. Hell, if Joel has feelings for you he should just own up to it, talk about it. All Tommy wants is for Joel to come and talk to him. However, when it comes to romance, Joel rarely does. Even after the breakup with Asha, Joel barely said a word. Tommy later on learned the details from Asha and it fucking stung.

Ever since they were little, Joel had this tendency to shoulder everything, it didn’t matter if the issue was big or small, he would carry it, and he would do so in silence. Tommy hated that. He wanted to talk about things, wanted to tell Joel about his nightmares, the blank notebook that Tommy can’t bring himself to write into—he desperately wants things to change. He wants Joel to stop playing the martyr. Tommy’s not a kid anymore, they can carry the weight together.

“Gosh that smells delicious!”

Tommy jerks at the sound of your voice. Startled, he looks up and sees you making your way through Joel’s yard, carrying a Tupperware full of coleslaw and a pitcher of homemade iced tea. You place both items on the wooden table and walk toward the brothers. Just as you pass by Joel, your hand brushes his shoulder. Again, Tommy sees him visibly tense with the contact.

You turn to Tommy, arms spread wide, a joyous grin stretched across your face. Tommy mimics the expression, pulling up a different kind of mask. He pulls you into a tight embrace and presses his lips ointo your forehead.

"Oh, are those the mushrooms?" you ask, still held within Tommy's arms, your gaze lowered to the small table Joel brought out for food prep. "I'm both terrified and excited."

“I hope you’ll like’em,” Tommy answers. “Joel is convinced that you will.”

You laugh and mouth at Tommy, "Do you think he'll explode if he turns out to be wrong?" Tommy can barely hide the snicker that escapes his lips.

“I heard that,” Joel grunts without looking.

You expertly move the conversation along, “Where’s Sarah?”

"She should be here soon," he responds. "She mentioned wanting to buy some lemon bars for the barbecue."

“Where is she buying them from? Olivia is going to come over too so she can pick Sarah up.”

After discussing locations and making a quick phone call, Olivia happily agrees to pick up Sarah because, according to you, she's not that far away anyway. You help Tommy skewer the barbecue mushrooms, and conversation flows seamlessly. Even Joel gradually loosens up, relaxing as he starts to place the prepared skewers. You appear surprisingly cheerful, and Tommy doesn't mean to imply that you were ever a downer—rather, he hasn't seen you this relaxed in a long time. It seems the grief that had molded you months ago, forcing you to behave a certain way, had loosened around you. Now you see what he’s seen all along; that you deserved to make jokes and have fun and be happy.

He likes to think he had a part to play in that with the renovation of the room.

In the midst of finishing up the mushrooms, a car stops, and a moment later, Olivia and Sarah hop out.

Sarah wastes no time wrapping her nimble arms around Tommy's neck, giving him a tight hug. Tommy returns the gesture in kind, lifting her off the ground a little. "Hey, sugarcube! How was school?"

"Boring," she answers, letting go. "How was work?"

Tommy scrunches up his nose, prompting a bubble of laughter from her. "Boring," he parrots.

While Sarah heads inside to change, Olivia places the lemon bars on the table and comes to greet you. The sizzle of the grill fills the air as Sarah's voice cuts through the lively atmosphere, calling out to Joel from the window of the house. "Dad, I can't find my purple shirt!" she exclaims. “You said you’d have it washed today!”

Joel turns his attention away from the grill, a concerned furrow forming on his brow. "I'll be right there, sweetheart," he assures her. He looks over at Olivia. "Liv, can you man the grill for a moment?"

Olivia nods, a playful smile dancing on her lips. "Consider it done. You go find that shirt."

With a grateful nod, Joel moves swiftly toward the house, leaving Olivia to handle the grilling duties. He passes by Tommy and you, giving a brief smile and a nod of acknowledgment before disappearing inside.

Tommy's gaze follows Olivia as she confidently takes charge of the grill, her tongs expertly flipping the remaining skewers and wings. There's a sense of ease in her movements, a natural grace that Tommy finds captivating. Her focused expression softens with a slight smile.

Meanwhile, Tommy takes a moment to observe you as you retrieve a couple of cold beers from the cooler. The sunlight catches in your hair, casting a warm glow around you.

You approach him with the beers in hand, Tommy can't help but be captivated by your infectious smile. It's a smile that reaches your eyes, radiating happiness and a genuine warmth that draws him in. He takes one of the beers from you, his fingers grazing against yours for a brief moment, sending a jolt of electricity through his veins.

"Cheers," you say, raising your bottle in a toast. Tommy mirrors your action, their bottles clinking together, the sound ringing in the air.

"Cheers," he replies, his voice laced with genuine affection. The clinking of the bottles marks a moment of connection, a shared bond that goes beyond mere friendship.

“Isn’t it interesting?” Olivia suddenly says, snapping your attention from Tommy to her. He frowns.

“What is?” you ask.

“That I’m here. . . doing all the work without a beer in my hand.”

You roll your eyes, walking back to the cooler, “You could’ve just asked you know?” you tease, handing her a cold bottle. She shrugs with a wink.

“Where’s the fun in that?”

Tommy smells smoke. The crackling of flames too loud. Their banter fades into the background. His body grows tense by instinct, feeling the threat of danger that isn’t there. He becomes uncharacteristically still, listening, but not hearing anything.

“Ah shit, I burnt it,” Olivia hisses, fanning the smoke with a moisturized hand. “Well, at least I only burned three of them. You guys think Joel will kill me?”

He hears bits of the conversation, your laughter following Olivia’s words. The smoke in the air is thicker now, grayer. Sweat sticks to his skin and Tommy swears he feels the familiar feeling of hot dirt on his skin. Unaware, he starts rubbing his arms, trying to get rid of the sticky feeling.

Tommy smells gunpowder.

He hears bullets whizzing through the air.

Just as the grill suddenly flares up, a searing pain jolts through Tommy's body. In his disoriented state, he misconstrues your touch on his back as a threat. Reacting instinctively, he moves away, his mind clouded. His hand inadvertently catches your wrist, twisting the limb. You let out a shout.

A surge of guilt pierces Tommy's heart as he realizes that it’s you. His eyes widen with a mixture of fear and remorse, and he releases his grip on your wrist, his hands trembling. "Fuck, sorry—" he stammers, choked up. "I. . . I thought. . ."

Before he can finish his sentence, he sees Joel above your shoulder, his face etched with concern, closely followed by Sarah.

"What happened?" Joel demands.

You step in before Tommy can explain, his chest heaves, “Nothing, I just startled him.”

Joel doesn’t seem to buy it, his gaze fixed on his baby brother, he raises an eyebrow. “Tommy?” he asks again, his voice leveled.

Tommy's gaze shifts from you to Joel and Sarah. He struggles to find the right words, his mind still tangled in a web. He doesn’t say a word, just shakes his head. Joel’s gaze softens, hands coming up to cup Tommy’s cheeks. He lifts his brother’s gaze to face his own.

"It's okay, Tommy. We're here. We're safe, you’re home," when Tommy attempts to back away, Joel holds him tighter. "Let's just take a moment to breathe."

Tommy’s mind blanks for a second when Joel visibly takes a deep, slow breath. Joel looks at him with a sign of expectation and the younger Miller mimics the way he breathes. Deep and slow. One, two, three. Once more, and that’s it. He’s breathing again. The sky is blue again.

“Shiiiit,” he exhales on the last breath. Joel drops his hands and takes a step back, you’re standing right next to him, brows drawn together. Suddenly the guilt is back. “I’m sorry,” he says the apology muffled by clenched teeth. “Are you. . . okay?”

“I’m fine,” you say hovering back and forth, wanting to come closer but also not wanting to overwhelm him. “Do you need anything?”

“I should be asking you that,” he takes a step closer, taking your wrist between his fingers. He gently smooths his thumb over where he bent—god, he’s a fucking mess. “We should put some ice on that.”

“I got it!” Olivia jumps out, placing the end of the cold bottle on your wrist. You stifle a snort. She narrows her eyes at you. “That’s a weird way to say thank you.”

You roll your eyes, “Thanks, Liv.”

Tommy pulls away and takes a seat. Content in having calmed his brother, Joel returns to the grill and gives Olivia a look that screams, "What the hell have you done?!"

He smiles, feeling his racing heart finally begin to calm down.

“Are you sure you’re alright uncle Tommy?”

His eyes meet Sarah’s, two concerned and observant juvenile eyes staring into his own. He’s not sure what to say—no, he knows what to say, he just doesn’t know how to say it in a way that she’ll believe him.

Without waiting for a response, Sarah sits next to him and reaches for two glasses and the pitcher. She pours iced tea into both. “Here,” she says, prompting him to replace the beer with the glass. Tommy obliges.

“You don’t need to worry about me,” he murmurs. “That ain’t your responsibility.”

“It’s not. . . but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t worry. And I know you can’t talk to me about it, I’m not dad, but you know I love you, right?”

“‘Course I do,” Tommy answers quickly, ignoring the way the sun stings his eyes, he forces them to stay open. “Your dad takes good care of me. And I know you care, I appreciate the reminder though,” he lets out a sigh, drags a heavy palm down his face, and swallows. “I’m gonna get better.” I have to get better.

Sarah doesn’t say another word. She slowly drops her head to his shoulder, looks over to her father who’s in the middle of placing three mushroom skewers on your plate. Tommy smiles.

“They’re idiots,” she murmurs, he doesn’t miss the affectionate cadence in her tone.

“Yeah,” Tommy answers. “But they’re our idiots.”

The rest of the evening went off without a hitch. However, your love for mushrooms still remained nonexistent, much to Joel's surprise. He was shocked to see that his and Tommy's barbecue mushrooms hadn't managed to convert you into an avid mushroom lover. In an attempt to mask the lingering taste, you nearly downed the entire pitcher of iced tea—making sure Joel wasn't looking, of course. He was still quite salty about not liking them. He even went far as to pout about it, which you found adorable if you’re being completely honest. You're not sure his ego could handle the thought of you desperately wanting to scrub your tongue with a sponge.

Olivia was the first one to leave as the scorching sun was replaced by shiny stars, and you helped with cleaning up. You noticed that Tommy was avoiding your gaze like the plague, and Joel remained silent about what had happened. Your wrist, although not physically hurting, still ached. You had promised him that you would be there for him, but you felt like you had failed miserably. You had no knowledge of what was going on in his head, and if today was any indication, there was a lot happening.

When he’s about to bid his farewells, you touch his forearm. It’s such a small gesture but he flinches anyway and you quickly withdraw your hand. You chew the inside of your cheek.

“Do you want to come over?” you ask, swallowing. “I have some leftover wine.”

It doesn’t take him long to answer but the seconds that pass feel like an eternity. He nods and gestures to the door.

“I’ll be waitin’ outside, go get your things.”

“Y-Yeah, sure. I’ll be there in a sec.”

He closes the door softly behind him. A click that is barely audible. You hear footsteps and turn to see Joel exiting the kitchen. “Everythin’ good?” he asks.

“I think so, I invited Tommy over. I think it’ll be good to talk.”

You see it in his eyes, the need to hold you, to cradle your cheeks and brush your lips together. The internal fight is visible from his expression. You figure which side wins when he remains still, staring, eyes flitting between you and the windows near the door. Tommy’s smoking a cigarette with his back turned.

“I think so too,” he says, dropping his gaze to the floor. “He’s been more closed off lately and my usual grumpy self probably ain’t helpin’.”

“I applaud you for admitting that you are, in fact, grumpy.”

He tries to hide it but can’t, a small smile peeking from under his mustache. “Shut up.”

“I really wanna say make me,” you grin and pick up your bag. “But I don’t think we have time for that.”

“I’ll remember, don’t worry.”

You ignore the way your legs press together at the sudden drop in his tone. The chill of the doorknob sends shivers down your spine. You’re afraid of being alone with Tommy. You’re scared that you’re going to blurt everything, all of it. You miss being able to talk to him—Tommy definitely wasn’t a stranger to the rants about the many failed romances in your life. With a sigh, you crack the door open. You hear a shift behind you. . . then a gentle hand on your waist.

A kiss on the back of your neck.

“Call me if you need anythin’.”

“I will.”

You finally step into the warm night. Tommy turns to you, exhaling smoke from his nostrils. The knot in your throat makes it hard to breathe, the younger Miller looks over your shoulder.

“See ya later old timer,” he calls out to Joel. You don’t hear him answer but you’re sure he’s rolling his eyes, the click of the door follows. Cigarette loose between his lips, Tommy offers you his arm and you take it.

The walk to your home is a silent one.

Your house is ominous in the dark, quickly, you flick the lights open. “Make yourself comfortable.”

“I always do,” he murmurs and takes off his shoes. “Would it be alright if we skip the wine? I’m not really feelin’ up for it.”

“Of course,” you answer. “Do you want anything else?”

“Nah. Let’s just talk.”

The request takes you by surprise. You blink dumbly at the back of his head, and when the silence fills the space between you, he turns. He stares at you for a moment, gauging what your reaction means. His brows come together, a humorful smile tugging at one corner of his lips.

“Why do you look so shocked? That’s why you invited me over right? To talk.”

“I. . . Yeah, exactly.”

He heads to the living room and you follow his trail like a lost duckling. “Before you say anythin’,” he says, lifting a hand as you take a seat next to him. “Let me apologize. I didn’t mean. . . I would never hurt you. Today was an accident, I got lost.”

Lost. . . that was exactly what it was, wasn’t it?

“It’s okay, it was my mistake really. I shouldn’t have touched you when you were so out of it. Can I. . . Can I ask what you were thinking about?”

His shoulders raise, his breathing becomes shallow, “I think it was because of the smoke. I was right there, at the battlefield, again. Fuck. I didn’t know.”

You wait for him to continue.

“There ain’t much out there you know? Just you and a couple of brothers you made along the way. When you see them fall, it’s hard to erase the memory of it.”

“No one is expecting you to erase it,” you whisper, your hand hovers above his knee and when he nods, you place itover the curve. “As hard as it is, that’s a part of you. No one blames you for today. No one is mad at you. We just want you to be okay—I want you to be okay.”

“I know,” he murmurs. “I’m workin’ on it. I just hate talkin’ about it so much. I tried. . .I tried to be the hero you know? I tried so hard to make a difference. It didn’t mean nothin’ and when you realize the person you’re gunnin’ down is just as lost as you are, you realize there are no heroes in the battlefield.” a sudden chuckle bursts from his lips, compeltly void, he covers his face with a palm. “But I’m still so stupid. I still want to believe some difference can be made. I want to be good so fuckin’ bad and I don’t know why. I should be happy just doin’ my own thing like Joel but I’m not.”

His words sink into your skin, blend with the blood in your veins, and suffocate your lungs. You want to cry. He sounds so broken, so hopeless. The need to hold him makes your knees tremble. You imagine an eighteen-year-old Tommy, signing up with the army with a hopeful gaze. You’ve heard the stories, remember Joel telling you the arguments that followed after that. Tommy hadn’t backed down, adamant about proving his brother wrong. The stubborn nature of it reminds you of your own brother, the endless arguments that would go on and on and on with your grandfather.

The army takes their hopes and dreams and spits them out broken and strange.

“You’re not stupid, Tommy,” you mutter, barely audible. “We all want to be good. There’s no shame in that. I’m. . .similar, I always want to do the right thing. I want to be good too. Don’t compare yourself to Joel he. . . he got lucky with Sarah. As long as she’s happy and safe he doesn’t care about right and wrong. We on the other hand, we’re still trying to find ourselves. It’s not as easy for us to make that distinction. We think endlessly about the ones who get caught in the crossfire.”

God, but you aren’t doing the right thing. It’s easy to forget that with Joel’s lips on your skin—sure, maybe you’re not straight-up lying to him, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re being dishonest.

He looks at you with those puppy dog eyes. So round and wide. “People like you can’t try to be good,” he answers, confusing you. He waits, allowing the silence to follow as he thinks of his words. “You’re already good. You don’t need to try to be.”

The confession bubbles up from your chest to your throat. You taste it. Sweet like sugar and deadly like poison. You have to tell him. You need to tell him.

You lick your lips, your mouth dry like sandpaper. He’s staring directly into your soul, he sees something hopeful. Something good. You want to shake him, tell him that he’s the good one. He doesn’t blink. Not once. You open your mouth. You’re going to do it, you’re going to tell him and whatever happens next, however he reacts, it’s what you deserve.

Normally, Tommy’s eyes are a shade lighter compared to his older brother’s. While Joel’s eyes walk the line of being downright black, Tommy’s always reminds you of your favorite brand of chocolate.

But right now it’s dark as night. Just like Joel’s.

“Hey,” he finally blinks, smiling. The confession that had bubbled to the surface slowly simmers down. “We should get some sleep.”

“But—”

“I appreciate you talkin’ to me sweetheart. I. . . feel better, in a weird way,” he comes closer, kisses your cheek. His lips are damp. “I’ll be sure to talk to you more in the future, a’right? Promise.”

“Okay,” you mumble. You both get up from the couch and saunter upstairs, the air that surrounds you lighter. He takes the guest bedroom, the room where August slept the week before.

Tommy stills at the door, “Well, goodnight.”

You can’t leave it at this, you just can’t.

“Tommy, I need to tell you something.” your words are sharp and clear. His hand tightens around the doorknob, what does he think you’re about to say?

“Yeah?”

You can’t do it. Coward.

“Do you need. . . another pillow?”

“Um,” he opens the door, takes a look. “No, I’m good. Is that all you were gonna say?”

“It is.”

It isn’t.

I'm sorry that this took me insanely long for some reason???? Honestly, I blame the fact that I'm not used to writing family dynamics, it's hard. 😭😭😭 but nonetheless I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter, let me know what you guys thought 💜

I did make a post about it but I'll be taking a small break from SIB, I will return to it and will be working on it in the background but I really need to let my mind loose. The next two chapters are already outlined so y'all won't be waiting for that long! This isn't one of those series where the rest of the plot is lost in time and space and I'm too chicken to work on it lmaodfvd

Thank you so much for all the support!!

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller fic #joel miller smut #tommy miller x you #tommy miller x reader #tlou fanfiction #tlou fanfic #the last of us fanfic #the last of us fanfiction #hbo the last of us fanfiction #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal character fanfic #pedro pascal characters

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brcnze · 3 months

Text

unexpected, yet so welcome.

a/n: the next works i’ll be uploading were on ao3 but i accidentally deleted my account….so here i am again!🫣

word count: 19.8k

unexpected, yet so welcome.

the day of her best friends wedding was supposed to be one of the happiest days of her life. lucy had known lucy staniforth since they were kids and they had both spoken about this day since forever. both girls had promised the other that they would be one another’s bridesmaids and share their happiest moment together. however, what lucy didn’t expect was to be feeling so low on her longest friends’ big day.

it had been only two months since lucy bronze’s world had come crashing down. two months since her seven year relationship had come crashing down to be precise. it came out of nowhere really, keira had signed for barcelona shortly after her and nothing had been the same between the pair since. they argued constantly, showed no affection towards one another and were overall happier apart.

keira had been the one to end it. put the final nail in the coffin as such. lucy had known it was coming and had cried all the tears she had in her before keira had even said the words.

she was feeling somewhat better now. keira had moved on, fast, she thought but overall she was happy for her. they had ended on relatively good terms, they weren’t friends as such but still got along just fine when they had to. but right now, sitting in this church and watching two people declare their undying love for one another was not leaving her feeling too great.

she was thirty one years old, single and alone and being at a wedding right now was not exactly ideal. she felt better after the vows were over, all the lovey dovey part was finished and now she could focus on getting absolutely wasted in order to forget about what her life had become.

she was sitting in a booth, alone again when she heard a familiar voice and felt a presence in the form of jordan nobbs slot in beside her “alright luce?” the smaller girl asked.

lucy responded with a nod, glad to see her other best friend and fellow bridesmaid to whom she greeted with a smile.

“this must be hard for you. i know you miss keira…”

the defender jumped in at that, sick of people pitying her “it’s really not that. i loved her, i’ll always have love for her but it’s over and i’ve accepted that.”

the smaller girl furrowed her brows and couldn’t hide the confusion on her expression so stayed quiet so her friend could elaborate further.

“i think the whole break up thing has just made me question myself. i mean, im thirty one years old and im single and here i am at my best friends wedding by myself” she looked around at all the couples on the dance floor, arms wrapped lovingly around one another. “i guess it’s just made me think there might be something wrong with me. i know i’ve always been very career minded, and so with keira it was easy. we made our relationship work around football because we were both the same. i just worry now that i’ll never find anyone because they won’t be able to understand the demands of being a footballer.”

jordan’s face softened, not used to seeing one of her longest friends this vulnerable. she placed her hand on her friends knee, offering support “you don’t need to rush into anything lucy. i know it may seem that way because keira’s already with laura, but take your time. there’s not a time frame on these things. you will find someone, and when you know you know.”

lucy looked jordan dead in the eye, a huff of a laugh leaving her lips at the unusual seriousness between the pair.

“what you laughing at?” jordan questioned, confused.

the defender shook her head, a smirk still visible “just not used to the deep and meaningful advice from you jord, that’s all” to which the younger girl gave her a playful nudge.

“fine then, i’ll let you carry on being a sad sap. now come on and let’s have a dance” the smaller woman laughed, pulling lucy up and over to the dance floor.

lucy spent a good hour or so enjoying the music and dancing with her friends, her earlier turmoil dissipated. she found herself at the bar, having offered to buy a few of the guests a round of drinks when she saw someone slip in next to her.

“im glad you’ve cheered up” the voice, with a spanish accent stated.

lucy looked beside her, her eyebrows furrowing “im sorry?”

“i’d just noticed all day that you didn’t look very happy. i know how close you and lucy are so i knew it must be something pretty bad to have you looking so lost on your best friends wedding day.” the younger girl explained, flipping her hair over to one side.

lucy narrowed her eyes, taken a back a little by the girls observations of her and the spainard clearly noticed this, taking it upon her to introduce herself “oh gosh, sorry. you must think i’m completely insane. i’m ona. i used to play with lucy at united.”

“oh, i know who you are” lucy responded, somewhat bluntly.

“you do?” ona asked, nothing short of surprised that the right back she had always admired knew of her.

“course i do. ona batlle, right back. spains number two” lucy began listing “i just didn’t expect you to have been keeping an eye on me all night” she finished with a smirk.

ona blushed, suddenly turning a shade of pink and stuttered over her words “i- i mean i wasn’t…”

“you don’t have to explain yourself. it’s nice to finally meet you properly and not be playing against you” lucy said, putting the girls mind at ease but still revelling in her flustered state.

ona met her with a smile “it’s nice to meet you too. lucy’s told me a lot about you.”

before lucy could respond, the bar lady came back over to take her order and as she listed the drinks the group had given her to purchase, she nodded towards the spaniard next to her “and for you? can i get you a drink?”

“just a martini, please. as long as you’re sure?”

lucy nodded, placing the order and grabbed the tray of drinks “im just gunna go and give these to the guys over there and then i’ll be back. unless you want me to go of course.”

“i wouldn’t mind your company” ona smirked to which lucy returned and quickly went to drop off the drinks.

lucy really didn’t know all that much about ona. she’d heard lucy mention her a handful of times and, of course she’d played against her, but other than that she knew little to nothing. something about the younger girl intrigued her tonight though, she hadn’t expected her to come up and start a conversation but she now found herself handing out these drinks faster than ever in order to get right back to her.

“that was fast” the smaller brunette asserted when lucy arrived back at the bar.

“clearly i missed talking to you” lucy shot right back, managing to pull that same blush out of ona that she had earlier.

ona couldn’t contain her shy smile as the two walked over to a booth and sat beside one another. they somehow ended up chatting back and forth, uninterrupted for hours, with them both partaking in a lot of low-key flirting.

“so, you’re playing for barcelona now, right? how’s your spanish coming along?” ona asked, well into their conversation.

“muy buena gracias” the defender replied, clearly proud of herself.

ona met her with a smirk “well, id say im impressed but you’ve been there a while now and i think i’d expect something a little more advanced.”

lucy pondered for a moment, mirroring the smirk “okay then, how about this… te ves hermosa esta noche.”

the younger girls eyes widened all of a sudden, taken aback by the other woman’s boldness, but a huge smile tugging on her lips “do you even know what you just said?”

lucy nodded “i said you look beautiful tonight.”

two weeks had passed since the wedding, and both lucy and ona had exchanged numbers and had been talking ever since. they had just clicked, which was surprising to them both due to the only thing them having in common was football and mutual friends.

lucy was back in barcelona and ona was in manchester, the pair sending each other messages morning, night and even in breaks at training.

it wasn’t like lucy to be on her phone at all during training times, she usually stuck to the rule book like glue. her phone was typically locked away in a locker, removing all temptation and maintaining her full focus on football. however, with messages from a certain manchester united player coming in every second, she kept it firmly by her side.

“oh, lucia, who has got you smiling at your phone like that?” a voice with a broken english accent asked her during lunch.

lucy looked up to see alexia looking at her with a smirk, eyebrows raised.

“no one in particular” the defender shrugged off, her eyes returning to her lit up phone screen where she had just received yet another text message.

“doesn’t have anything to do with a certain one of my international team mates then? possibly going by the name of ona?”

lucy’s head snapped up, her eyes widening and looked at the midfielder in bewilderment.

“us spanish girls talk, you know lucia” alexia grinned, evidently very proud of herself.

the defender was suddenly very intrigued, what had they been discussing? what had ona said about her? she was also very silently excited about the fact that ona had mentioned her to her friends “what did she say?”

alexia chuckled “now, that would be telling.”

lucy rolled her eyes, the hint of a smirk on her lips.

“anyway, before you were too invested in your phone, i was going to ask if you wanted to come to a party im hosting for my girlfriend? i’ve invited most of the girls and a certain someone will also be there.”

“we’re just friends, you know, we met at lucy’s wedding and have just texted a few times since, that’s all” the defender tried to assure the blonde.

alexia couldn’t stop the grin from forming on her lips “mmhm, i never said anything about being more than friends.”

lucy suddenly felt her face turning a deep shade of pink, wanting to change the subject as soon as possible “i’d love to come, thanks for the invite.”

lucy wasn’t quite sure what it was about ona that had her feeling this type of way. she thought she was beautiful, anyone would have to be blind to think otherwise. however, they’d only met once, and yet she still found herself thinking about her all the time, wondering what she was doing, constantly waiting for the next text to come through. it was weird to feel this strangely giddy again at her big age, but she loved it.

the pair continued their constant messaging, with even a few added phone calls, right up until the party. they both had been very focused on their own training, but still managed to make time for their daily chats.

lucy was getting ready with mariona. someone whom she had grown very close to since she joined barça. someone who also was a good friend of onas.

“ahh lucia, you look guapa” mariona smiled at her, as she returned from the bathroom.

lucy was wearing black slacks, with a white tshirt and a beige blazer over the top. one thing she took huge pride in was fashion, and so compliments on her outfits always left her feeling good.

she smiled towards her friend “thanks, and you look great also.”

a message pinged through on her phone and the defender reached for it, not being able to prevent the small smile that tugged on her lips when she saw who it was from.

‘just landed, and very much looking forward to seeing you soon. now, i just hope that your spanish has improved ;) - ona x’

the look on lucy’s face didn’t go a miss by mariona and she couldn’t help but tease the older woman “im guessing you’re very excited for tonight then?”

lucy nodded “yeah, definitely. it’ll be nice to spend time with everyone outside of a football setting and properly meet alexia’s girlfriend.”

“mmhm” the spaniard responded, taking a sip from her drink and not being able to mask the smirk that was staring lucy straight in the face.

“what are you looking at me like that for?” lucy asked confused, completely unaware of the other woman’s knowledge of her friendship with ona.

mariona laughed, handing lucy another drink “oh nothing chica, here have this and then we’ll get going shortly.”

the two women finished off their drinks before hopping into the taxi that took them to the party. it was at alexia’s house, which was already insanely beautiful but somehow even more so with all of the added decorations that had been carefully placed. lucy looked around in awe as she stepped inside, admiring the way the whole place looked.

she made her way over to the makeshift bar that alexia had set up, carefully choosing what she wanted out of the endless options.

“well, it seems that we always end up meeting at bars” a voice, that lucy instantly recognised said.

the defender turned to her side, a wide smile growing on her face when her eyes met onas. the smaller woman looked amazing, her hair flowing past her shoulders and her cream trousers and black top hugging her body in all the right places.

“guess it’s just a blessing that we have so many mutual friends” lucy responded, her smile never faltering. ona returned the smile and pulled the older woman into a hug, her petite frame fitting into lucy’s perfectly.

lucy’s arms wrapped tightly around her shoulders, breathing in her scent “im really happy to see you again.”

the hug lasted a long while, with neither woman really wanting to let go, but as they clocked on to a few suspicious pairs of eyes on them they pulled away and lucy went back to making the drinks “martini, again?”

ona nodded “you remembered?”

the defender handed her the drink, her hand lingering on top of the smaller woman’s for just a moment “you’ve been pretty unforgettable since we met.”

a blush crept along onas face as she grabbed tightly onto lucy’s free hand and pulled her over to a group of their friends. the pair spent the evening chatting to everyone, never once leaving one another’s side. luckily, everyone else was too drunk themselves to make jokes about the twos sudden close friendship, a factor that lucy was grateful for.

ona too, was also very drunk which was unusual as the girl was typically good at managing her alcohol intake. the two were currently sat on one of the many sofas in the house, chatting with alexia, olga, mapi and ingrid. the pair were pressed very close together, with ona slumped against lucy’s side and lucy’s arm wrapped lazily across her shoulders.

“you alright, guapa?” alexia asked ona, looking into the girls eyes and noticing how glassy they looked.

the younger girl nodded, her head lolling to the side and laying on lucy’s shoulder “yep, totally fine.”

as the others resumed their conversation, lucy looked to her side, noticing the change in the younger girls voice “are you sure you’re okay?” she asked, rubbing her shoulder.

ona didn’t respond, and instead her face turned a worrying pale colour which didn’t go unnoticed by lucy, who quickly grabbed her hand and pulled her into the bathroom. as predicted by lucy, ona began throwing up into the toilet as lucy held her hair back and rubbed her back, mumbling comforting words to her.

when the sickness had finally subsided, ona slumped her back against the toilet and put her head in her hands “im so sorry, you must think i’m a total mess.”

“hey, don’t be silly. it happens to us all. are you feeling better now?” lucy asked as she sat beside her on the bathroom floor.

ona nodded, unable to look lucy in the eyes “im just really embarrassed.”

lucy shook her head, a faint smile on her lips “listen, you don’t need to be embarrassed it’s completely fine. as long as you’re feeling better now, that’s all i care about.”

ona smiled up at her and rested her head back on her strong shoulder, just like she had done back on the sofa. she let out a content sigh and felt her heart swell as lucy grasped her hand and began stroking it with her thumb.

“i was thinking…” lucy began, breaking the comfortable silence.

“that sounds dangerous” ona butted in with a laugh, causing lucy to nudge her in the side before carrying on.

“do you want to, i don’t know…maybe, go out sometime? before you go back to manchester.”

ona snapped her head off of her shoulder and looked her dead in the eye “you mean, like a date?”

lucy nodded, the shyness evident on her features “if you want it to be. don’t feel pressured to say yes or anything, i know this is probably really random and you might think i’m completely insane, but i just…”

the smaller girl launched herself into lucy’s lap and wrapped her arms around her shoulders, the widest grin tugging on her lips “i would love nothing more.”

lucy grinned into her shoulder, her arms wrapping around her waist and breathing in onas perfume. the pair remained in that same position before lucy let out a small chuckle.

ona pulled away to look her in the eyes, mirroring the grin “what’s so funny?”

“i just can’t believe i asked you on a date sitting on a bathroom floor.”

lucy was nervous, to say the least. only three days had passed since the party at alexia’s and tonight was the night she was taking ona on the promised date. she wanted it to be special, but she’d just gotten out of a seven year relationship so dating wasn’t something she was used to doing.

she had spent her time over the last few days, desperately searching up the nicest restaurants in barcelona, and when she finally found what she considered the perfect one she didn’t hesitate to book a reservation.

she had messaged ona, who was staying at mapi and ingrids apartment, only a few details as she wanted to keep a majority of her plan a surprise and was now only left with two hours to get ready and meet the younger woman in the designated spot.

the defender found herself digging through her entire wardrobe, internally cringing at how badly she wanted to look good for this date. however, as her desperate searching continued she was interrupted by her phone ringing.

she groaned at the inconvenient interruption, but accepted the facetime call when she saw it was from cupid herself, lucy staniforth.

“im not gunna lie, this isn’t the best time.”

the midfielder widened her eyes in feigned offence “hi lucy, yeah im good thanks. so nice of you to ask.”

lucy sighed, not appreciating the sarcasm dripping from her tone “im sorry, im just a bit stressed. i’ve ummm, got a date tonight and i’m trying to decide what to wear.”

the defenders best friends grin couldn’t be contained after hearing those words and so she couldn’t help but almost scream through the phone “a date?! why am i only hearing of this now? who is she? what’s her name? how did you meet?”

“woah, woah. slow down” lucy smirked, interrupting the girl on the screen.

“just answer my questions!”

lucy took a breath, feeling slightly nervous to explain who it was that she was taking on a date. she knew that lucy wouldn’t mind at all, but it felt a little awkward for her to tell her that it was her ex team mate and one of her very close friends “well, you know her very well. we actually met because of you and she’s spanish.”

the aston villa player narrowed her eyes, trying to piece together the details lucy had given her and as she realised her mouth fell agape and a huge grin plastered itself across her face “not ona?!”

lucy could feel her whole face turn a bright shade of pink and couldn’t hide the small smile tugging on her lips.

“oh my god! i can’t believe that, that’s amazing. i knew you’d hit it off at the wedding, i could instantly tell” the woman practically screamed, overly excited at this information “woah…onas gunna be absolutely over the moon”

the defender narrowed her eyes, confused on the last part “what’d you mean?”

“oh luce, she’s always had the hots for you. i always thought it was so sweet when she’d go all red whenever someone spoke about you, and when she found out we were close she asked me about you all the time and said how great she thought you were.”

“really?” lucy questioned, her smile widening, but quickly fading as she noticed the time “shit. luce, im gunna have to go. i’ll message you later, yeah?”

“have a brilliant time. i expect you to tell me everything though bronze. oh and you’re welcome by the way, for being the matchmaker in this situation” the midfielder winked, before her face disappeared as the facetime ended.

lucy shook her head, smiling to herself and continued her hunt for the perfect outfit.

she was eventually ready, eyeing her chosen clothing up and down a multitude of times before finally biting the bullet and walking out her front door. she made her way towards her regular coffee shop which is where the pair had agreed to meet and waited for ona to arrive.

the defender could barely stand still, picking at her nails in attempts to distract herself and when she finally looked up she saw the girl in question standing no more than two feet in front of her.

“hi” the smaller girl said in a small voice, smiling up at lucy as she approached.

lucy mirrored the smile, her jaw slightly dropping from its hinges as she took in how beautiful the woman in front of her looked “you look incredible.”

she pulled ona in for a hug, and the pair began the short walk to the restaurant lucy had chosen, chatting non stop along the way. it was a very classy, and very expensive restaurant located right on the beach, above the ocean.

as the waiter lead them to their seats in an area that lucy had reserved just for the two of them, placing a bottle of champagne down on the table, ona looked around in disbelief “i don’t even have any words. this is just, so amazing.”

“you like it?” lucy asked, needing all the reassurance in the world.

“it’s like something you see in the movies, it’s perfect” the spaniard smiled, not being able to take her eyes off of the setting around them.

lucy released a breath she hadn’t even realised she’d been holding, and poured them both a glass of the bubbly liquid.

“you know, if someone told me i’d be here right now a few months ago i would’ve laughed in their face” ona revealed.

lucy smirked taking this as an opportunity to tease the younger woman “oh yeah? funny that actually, because a friend of mine earlier, lucy to be exact, was saying how apparently you’ve always fancied me?”

onas face turned the deepest shade of red, her eyes looking anywhere but into lucy’s as she stuttered “i-ummm, have no idea what she’s talking about.”

the defender chuckled, loving the blush she could pull out of the woman across from her and leant across the table to take her hand into her own, stroking it with her thumb “i think it’s cute.”

the pair ate their food and drank endless glasses of champagne, all the while enjoying each others company. when they left the restaurant, neither wanted to leave yet and so they both decided on taking a stroll along the beach.

“i’ve had the most amazing time tonight lucy, thank you” ona said turning to look at the older woman beside her.

“you don’t have to thank me, it’s been my absolute pleasure” lucy replied as their hands brushed against one another.

ona took the opportunity to grasp lucy’s hand and intertwine their fingers, pulling lucy over to a spot rid of people. they sat down next to one another on the sand, onas head resting on lucy’s shoulder.

“lucy might’ve been telling the truth a little bit with what she said, actually” the spaniard mumbled.

“is that right?” lucy smirked, remembering how she had teased the girl beside her earlier.

she felt ona nod into her shoulder, and so she took the chance to turn to face her, lifting her chin to look into her eyes “well, for what it’s worth, i might fancy you a little bit too.”

the younger girls smile widened, her eyes sparkling as she looked into lucy’s “seriously? you’re not just saying that?”

“you don’t really think i just take random girls on dates do you?” lucy smirked “if i didn’t like you like that, i wouldn’t be here like this right now.”

“i just didn’t want to get my hopes up i suppose” ona explained, as lucy placed her hand on her knee and began to trace patterns.

the pair just sat staring at each other for a moment, taking in how the spanish moonlight illuminated both of their faces. ona began to chuckle, overwhelmed by lucy’s intense gaze and nudged her in the arm “what are you looking at me like that for, lucia?”

“just trying to resist from kissing you right now” she replied in a whisper.

the smaller girl felt literal butterflies erupting in her stomach at that, her eyes widening and swallowing deeply. lucy staniforth had been right in what she had told lucy earlier, she really had always thought lucy was so unbelievably attractive and so she couldn’t believe she was here with her like this, right now.

“why would you need to resist?”

lucy smiled, all the confirmation she needed to do what she had wanted to do all night right there. she placed her hand on onas cheek, slowly leaning in and closing the gap between them.

as their lips collided for the first time, they both immediately felt sparks flying. ona placed her hand on the back of lucy’s neck, deepening the kiss and pulling them both impossibly closer to one another. lucy still had her hand resting on her cheek, stroking it with her thumb as they kissed.

the older woman took the opportunity to deepen the kiss even further, their tongues fighting for dominance and eliciting a muffled moan from the spaniard. lucy made a mental note that she wanted to hear that sound over and over again.

when they both eventually had to pull away for air, much to both of their dismay, they looked into each other’s eyes with goofy smiles like giddy school girls. lucy tucked a loose strand of hair behind onas ear “so, does this mean i get to take you on a second date?”

ona wrapped both her arms around the older girls neck, moving her face closer to lucy’s and mumbled into her lips “only if you kiss me like that again.”

they’d spent the rest of the evening in that very same spot on the beach, enjoying one another’s company and a few more passionate kisses. lucy had walked ona back to mapi and ingrids apartment, the pair parting ways with a tight hug and a promise to see each other as soon as it was next possible.

ona had had to fly back to manchester early the next morning, ready to be back in training and had sent lucy a text just before her flight took off.

‘good morning lucia, i just wanted to thank you again for the amazing night last night. i’ve just boarded my flight and i can’t stop thinking about it…i can’t stop thinking about you. i can’t wait to see you again already, i hope it’s not too long

ona xx’

two gruelling weeks of training had passed since that message, two weeks since the two footballers had seen each other in person and two weeks since they had begun missing one another.

lucy had just got in from training, greeted by her favourite little westie at her feet as soon as she had opened the door. the defender went about her usual nightly routine, preparing dinner for her small pup and then herself and settling down on the sofa to eat it with some silly tv show on in the background and a fed narla passed out beside her.

she was usually content in her own little bubble, happy to come home and just relax after socialising all day with her teammates. however, since meeting a certain spanish girl, she craved ona’s presence all the time. that was a factor that was weird to lucy, her and ona really hadn’t known each other long at all, and for someone that struggled to be comfortable around new people, the defender found it odd how much she wanted to talk to her.

little did the older woman know, that ona was feeling the exact same way. she would come home from her long training days and constantly replay the date night the two had shared in her mind over and over again. she found herself checking her phone every other second to see if there were any missed calls or messages from the defender who was consuming her mind.

the two had gotten into a consistent routine of face timing each other. although it definitely wasn’t the same as seeing the other in person, it managed to ease the longing in both of their hearts.

“you seem, i don’t know, on edge” lucy had said during one of their calls.

“on edge?” ona repeated back to her with a furrowed brow, the phrase not quite translating.

“like stressed or worried about something, are you okay?” lucy had noticed there was something off with the younger girl, she kept catching her staring off into space or biting at her nails, her usual happy demeanour seeming unsettled.

ona sighed “i’ve just got a few things on my mind, that’s all. i wouldn’t want to bore you.”

“don’t be silly, talk to me.”

the truth was, the man united player was worried about an upcoming fixture they had against city. she was always anxious playing in the derby, the expectations were sky high and the fans were pretty rowdy to put it lightly.

“it’s the manchester derby tomorrow night, it always just makes me a little nervous.”

lucy met her with a sympathetic look, sensing her nerves through the screen and remembering her own anxiousness towards this particular match when she played for city.

“i remember the feeling, but you’ll do great. you’re amazing and you’ve got nothing to worry about. are your family coming to watch?”

ona shook her head “they can’t make it this time, which just makes it worse. i like knowing i have the support in the crowd, you know.”

this gave lucy such a great idea, she had a few days off after her match against athletico the next day and had originally planned on spending them searching for a new flat. however, what better to do than fly to manchester for a couple of days, to watch onas game and also spend some time with her. the defender wanted to keep it a surprise though, not wanting to get the younger woman’s hopes up just incase something interfered with her plan.

“you’ll have loads of people routing for you, just you wait and see how many shirts with your name on it there’ll be.”

ona responded with a smile, the smile that lucy loved to see and the pair carried on chatting for the rest of the evening before having to get some sleep before they both played the next day.

the next morning, lucy had spent frantically packing some stuff, enough for a long weekend into her suitcase after booking a flight for that afternoon. she then headed off to the johan for a 10am kick off where barça won 5-0 against athletico.

the defender quickly made it back to her flat, taking a shower and then shoving all of her luggage into her car boot. she had no time to rest today whatsoever, and so whilst she was in the car with narla in tow on the way to keira’s apartment she released a huge breath which she hadn’t realise’d she’d been holding.

as she got to her destination, she knocked on the door to the apartment, she met keira with a half smile and breathlessly said “hey. you’re not going to rome this weekend are you?”

“umm no, why? why do you seem so worn out?” the ginger replied, an obviously confused look plastered across her face.

“just wondered if you could have narla for me for the next few days?” she replied, completely forgetting to answer keira’s last question.

“yeah, course that’s fine. where are you going though?”

“just back to manchester for the weekend” the defender said nonchalantly as she handed the small dog over to the girl opposite her.

“why?”

lucy let out a huge huff “god, why so many questions?”

“im just taking an interest” keira said with a huge smirk on her face, knowing her ex was hiding something “are you going to see someone?”

lucy rolled her eyes “bye kei, thanks for having her” to which the midfielder shook her head, letting out a laugh before closing the door and taking narla inside.

the next time the defender took a moment to breathe, she was on the plane on her way to manchester. staring out the window, all she could think about was that she would get to see ona in just a couple of hours, the girl who had been on her mind constantly since the day they met.

once she’d been through security, she took a taxi all the way to the stadium and as the vehicle approached the outside of the etihad she decided to send the man united player a message so that she’d know she had someone there.

‘just wanted to wish you luck for tonight, you’ll be amazing i know you will. i’ll be watching, a lot closer than you think ;)

~luce xx’

ona picked up her phone at the sound of her message tone, her mouth instantly curving up into a smile as she saw who it was from. however, when she read the text and realised what lucy meant she raised her hand to cover her mouth in utter disbelief.

she was here, watching her tonight, and she couldn’t believe it. as she went to type back a reply, marc came into the changing rooms and got all of the girls to line up in the tunnel before she could press send.

lucy was sat in the stands, wearing a dark hoodie and joggers combo, making herself as unrecognisable as possible to crazy fans. she enjoyed watching the match, getting to see her old team mates play left her with a comforting feeling of nostalgia but her eyes were constantly drawn to a certain someone in red. ona was an incredible player, lucy had always known that, but getting to watch her knowing she was just as an incredible person as well made it all the more enjoyable.

the game ended 2-1 to united and although a city fan at heart, the look of pure joy and rid of worry on onas face made the defender melt a little. she knew how nervous she had been for this and to see her smile, even if it was from afar filled her with so much pride. she could see the girl in question looking around the stadium quite a bit, clearly looking for someone and the thought that it was her she was looking for made her just want to see her right this second.

the defender made her way out of the stadium, sending ona a quick text to meet her outside. as she waited for her she was spotted by a few fans, signing autographs and taking photos which she knew would find their way to instagram in less than an hour.

“lucy?” she heard a voice say as all of the fans had departed.

when she turned around and was met with what was now her favourite smile, she couldn’t help but smile widely back “surprise.”

ona took a few steps closer, throwing her arms around the brunettes neck as lucy melted into her embrace “i can’t believe you’re here.”

“i knew how worried you were, and i wanted you to know you had someone there supporting you.”

ona took a deep breath, inhaling the older woman’s scent and mumbled into her neck “thank you.”

as the two pulled apart from their hug, still very much aware of the many football fans that could spot them at any moment lucy asked “i’ve got a few days off and was wondering if i could stay with you? no pressure or anything, i can go stay at my families if-“

the spaniard immediately cut her off with a grin “lucia, of course you’re staying with me. you don’t seriously think i could stay alone at my apartment knowing you’re here do you?”

lucy reciprocated the grin, walking over to onas car and placing her bags into her back seat. as the two got into the car, ona in the drivers seat, she reached for lucy’s hand and intertwined their fingers “i appreciate you coming so much. knowing you were here made me feel so much more at ease and im so grateful.”

lucy turned to look directly in her eyes, lifting her hand up to her lips and delicately placing small kisses across her knuckles “i wouldn’t have missed it for the world.”

a blush made it’s way across the younger woman’s face and she couldn’t stop staring at the defender beside her with a huge smile, until lucy said something breaking her out of her trance “shall we get out of here? i don’t want to wait any longer to give you a proper hello” she winked.

with that, ona drove out of the car park and headed to her apartment, lucy’s hand placed on her thigh the entire time.

as they arrived, ona opened the door and the pair walked inside. lucy looked around, taking everything in and admiring the obvious amount of effort ona had put in to get this place looking as amazing as it did.

“this place is so nice” she commented as ona busied herself with making two cups of tea for them both, feeling so content with having the older woman here in her apartment.

with the smaller woman’s back turned, lucy took this as a perfect opportunity to slowly come up behind her and wrap her arms around her waist from behind. ona lay her head back onto her shoulder, smiling up at her as lucy began placing small kisses onto her cheek, cascading her hands up and down her waist.

“i missed you” she whispered into her ear, causing a shiver down onas spine.

the spaniard turned around in her arms, placing her hands on either sides of the defenders cheeks and leant in so she was just inches away from her lips “how much?”

“i could show you, better than i could tell you” she responded, biting her lip and leaning in to close the gap between them.

their lips met in a hungry kiss, both of them deprived of the other and wanting to be impossibly close. ona wrapped her arms around lucy’s neck, pulling her in even further and playing with the baby hairs that had escaped her bun.

lucy gripped her hips even tighter, pushing her backwards until her back hit the kitchen counter and lifting her up on it to stand between her legs. onas legs wrapped around lucy’s waist, and the older woman broke the kiss to leave little nips and kisses across her jawline and down her neck. the pair were interrupted by the sound of kettle finishing brewing and both let out a chuckle as lucy breathlessly said “told you i missed you.”

ona let out a huff of a laugh, jumping down from the counter and pouring the tea into two mugs before adding “but i still missed you more.”

she carried the mugs over to the sofa, placing them down onto the small table in front as lucy sat down beside her. she passed lucy the remote, encouraging her to find something she wanted to watch on tv and rested her head on her chest, her arm draping lazily across her abdomen “i’ve been thinking about this for so long, you know.”

lucy smiled down at her, wrapping her arm across her shoulder and pulling her closer into her side as ona continued “ever since our date i haven’t stopped thinking about you. we’ve never had the chance to be like this yet either, just cuddled up on the sofa together.”

lucy placed a kiss on the side of her head “well i don’t have to be back in barcelona until monday, and i plan on spending every single second with you.”

as the pair finished drinking their tea, wrapped in each others arms with a soap opera on in the background, ona sat up from her position in lucy’s arms.

“im just going to get changed, i’ll be right back” she smiled, pressing a chaste kiss to lucy’s lips.

as ona went to change into some pyjamas, lucy took her own hoodie off, the heating in the younger woman’s apartment having heated her own body up and placed it down beside her, leaving her sitting in her black joggers and a man united shirt she had gotten earlier for the match.

when the smaller woman returned, she stopped dead in her tracks at the sight of the english woman in red, her eyes widening. she stood in the doorway to the living room “a united shirt? i thought you were a city girl?”

“thought i’d switch it up a little, just for today” lucy shrugged as she smirked at the spaniard before her.

she sat up, leaning forward from her position on the sofa and turned her back to ona so that she could see the back of the shirt where it indeed read ‘o.batlle 2.’

the younger woman’s jaw literally dropped as she eyed the shirt, looking lucy in the eyes with a huge smile as she turned back around to face her. she thought lucy was hot all the time, she’d always thought that which was now a known fact thanks to lucy staniforth, however, right now she couldn’t be more attracted to the woman sat on her sofa if she tried.

she took a few big steps towards her, sitting down on her lap and straddling her hips. she looked down at lucy who was smirking up at her, before biting her lip and meeting her in a passionate kiss.

“you are literally everything” ona said between kisses.

lucy woke up that next morning to the sun peeping through the curtains, and the all too familiar feeling of the cold air of manchester hitting her body. she rubbed at her eyes, picking her phone up from the bedside table to check the time which read 9am.

she looked beside her to see ona still sleeping peacefully, wrapped up in the cream white duvet and hair splayed across her pillow. she was wearing one of lucy’s pyjama tops which she had brought with her and some small black sleep shorts and although her face was turned away from the defender, lucy thought she was the most beautiful sight ever.

she couldn’t help but smile to herself whilst staring at the spanish beauty beside her, overwhelmed with how amazing and naturally beautiful she was. placing her phone back down, she slowly wrapped her arm around her waist, taking up her favourite position as ‘big spoon’ and pulled the younger woman in so that her back was pressing against her front. she then began placing delicate kisses across the exposed skin of her shoulders and tracing her fingers along her abdomen.

ona began to stir beneath her, letting out a content sigh as she felt lucy’s lips graze her skin. as she reached up to rub her own eyes, she turned around in the older woman’s embrace, sleepily smiling up at her in the process and snuggled deeper into her. she buried her face in the crook of lucy’s neck, placing lazy kisses on her collar bone as lucy wrapped her arms impossibly tighter around her.

“good morning” lucy croaked out, her voice groggy from sleep “how did you sleep?”

ona mumbled into her neck “good morning, lucia. better than usual actually.”

lucy smirked to herself, running her fingers through the spaniards hair and tucking it behind her ears so that she could see her face clearer. she took a moment to just admire her, memorising every freckle on her face “you are insanely beautiful, you know.”

ona opened her eyes properly, blinking a few times as her eyes adjusted to the morning light. she looked lucy in the eyes, the sweetest smile dancing across her lips and brought her own hand up to rest on the defenders cheek. her thumb began to stroke across the smooth skin there, tracing across the little features on her face “waking up with you is like a dream.”

the two stayed staring at each other for a few minutes, with giddy smiles plastered across their faces and tangled up together under the sheets.

“what’s the plan for today then?” lucy mumbled into her hairline.

ona shrugged, her smile never faltering “anything you want.”

after much discussion, the pair decided on going for a nice lunch together in the city and then treating themselves to a spot of retail therapy afterwards.

they ate some breakfast, got themselves showered and changed and lucy waited in the living room as ona finished doing her hair. she felt so happy right now. coming here and spending her days off in manchester was just what she needed and spending time with ona was easily becoming one of her most favourite things. the defender couldn’t believe how easily they both had fallen into this situation, they’d known each other not long at all and yet were already all the other could think about. she knew her feelings for the younger woman were growing rapidly by the second, every minute she spent with her she could feel herself liking her more and more and for once she didn’t feel terrified. she felt excited, and couldn’t wait to see what was to come with this amazing girl who had been thrown into her life.

lucy was broken out of her trance by the girl who consumed her every thought entering the room. she put on her coat, looking over at lucy with a smile, signalling she was ready to go and lucy happily obliged, standing up from the sofa and reaching a hand out.

ona happily took the offered hand, pulling lucy towards her and leaning up on her tip toes to press a kiss to her lips “ready?”

lucy nodded, squeezing her hand and heading out the door, never once letting go.

as they got into the car and headed off to a sweet cafe that lucy had recommended, ona turned on the radio and it automatically connected to the spanish station she listened to every day. a relatively niche song came on, which the spaniard hummed along to but stopped in her tracks as she heard lucy singing it word for word beside her.

she turned to look at her, a grin plastered across her face as lucy carried on singing quietly “you know this one?”

lucy nodded, meeting her eyes and mirroring the grin “i told you im practically fluent now.”

ona let out a huff of a laugh, peeling her eyes away from the road to look at lucy properly as they came to a red light “i never thought someone speaking my own language would be so attractive to me.”

“gracias guapa” lucy winked, as ona nibbled on her bottom lip and pulled her in for a searing kiss.

lucy melted into the kiss, both of them smiling into it and ona only managed to tear herself away as the light turned green. the older woman placed her hand on her knee for the rest of the journey, continuing to sing along to the spanish tunes.

the pair enjoyed their lunch together, chatting non stop about anything and everything and neither being able to stop smiling throughout the whole ordeal. once they’d eaten their food, they headed into the trafford centre and began looking around the shops. ona dragged lucy into one of her favourite clothing stores, desperately grabbing at everything she wanted to try on and although lucy was much more of a shoe person she enjoyed nothing more than the excitable look on the girls face.

the barcelona player mindlessly scrolled through her instagram as she sat outside the changing rooms on one of the stools whilst ona tried on the clothes she had picked out. her eyes only adverted from the screen as she heard her name being called from behind the curtain “lucy, i need your opinion on this.”

lucy shut off her phone, standing from her seat and walked over to the curtain, stepping behind it and taking in the sight in front of her.

“woah” was all she managed to splutter out as her eyes widened and her jaw hung low.

ona was wearing a tight black top with an open back, revealing the many tattoos that were scattered there paired with matching leather black shorts and she looked nothing short of incredible. after about twenty seconds of simply just staring at her lucy realised she still hadn’t said anything and took to grabbing her waist. she slowly pushed ona back against the wall of the changing room, not being able to take her eyes off of her as the younger woman wrapped her arms around her neck and then had the audacity to ask her “you like it?”

lucy let out a huff of a laugh, leaning in to her lips, mumbling against them “so fucking hot” before smashing their lips together.

lucy literally could not get enough of her, everything the younger woman did made her weak at the knees and crave the feeling of her body against hers. she kissed her with even more passion, her hands coming up to stroke against her hips as she gently slipped her tongue into her mouth.

ona let out a breathy moan, her own hands tangling into the defenders hair as she slid her firm thigh inbetween her legs and gave lucy something to grind her hips on.

the older woman placed her hand on onas chin, tilting her head up and began placing desperate nips to her neck slowly sucking at the sweet spot that she had discovered last night as she rolled her hips into her. lucy’s hot breath against her skin was sending a shiver down onas spine. she was addicted to the older woman already, her smell, her taste, her touch, everything about her drove her crazy and so when they heard voices entering one of the changing rooms next to them she let out a grumbly noise and rolled her eyes once lucy had pulled away.

lucy let out a small laugh at her frustration and whispered a small “later, i promise.”

with her hands still placed on onas hips, she turned them around to face the mirror, her head resting on her shoulder from behind her.

“i really like it by the way. if you couldn’t tell.”

ona let out a giggle and smiled at lucy through the mirror infront of them. the defender placed a delicate kiss to her cheek before exiting the changing room and giving the spaniard some space to get changed again. ona couldn’t help the smile that made its way across her face as she traced her own, now swollen, bottom lip and thought of nothing else but the woman waiting for her behind the curtain. god, she really owed lucy staniforth everything, she thought to herself.

the pair finished their shopping trip, opting to have a small dinner back at onas apartment since they were still relatively full from their big lunch. ona was scrolling through the tv channels, trying to find something to watch whilst lucy took a shower and was startled from her searching as the doorbell went.

she furrowed her eyebrows, not expecting anyone to be coming around and tried to remember if she’d ordered any deliveries that were due. her confusion was soon dissipated as she opened the door and was face to face with her united teammates, ella and alessia.

“hey, ona. we just came to drop these boots in for you that you left at training the other day” ella said, handing her her blue football boots.

“oh, thank you. i completely forgot to pick them up” she responded, smiling at them both.

“me and el are just about to go for some dinner and wondered if you wanted to join us? we’re only going down the road” alessia offered

ona thought for a moment, wondering how she could get herself out of this one “thank you for the offer less, but i-“

and with that, she was interrupted by the sound of footsteps coming from behind her. she turned around and was faced with lucy dressed in a tracksuit with a towel wrapped around her hair. she looked at lucy with wide eyes as the older woman stopped in her tracks, looking her lionesses team mates dead in the eye.

“oh…hey guys” lucy greeted, a hint of awkwardness in her tone.

“what are you doing here?” ella asked her, blatantly very confused at the unexpected cross over that was happening right in front of her eyes.

lucy thought for a moment, coming to stand beside ona and not really knowing what to say “i had a few days off and wanted to watch the derby match and ona kindly said i could stay at her place.”

“i didn’t know you two were close. didn’t you want to stay with demi or something luce?” alessia questioned, her eyebrows raising.

lucy shrugged “well..no..i just- what’s it to you two anyway?”

the two best friends sniggered at each other, finding the two women’s flushed faces and stuttering all too hilarious “oh, nothing. we just came to see if ona wanted to come for dinner with us but clearly she’s a bit busy.”

the duo were now in fits of silent giggles as they wiggled their eyebrows at ona who had gone a very deep shade of red and was rubbing at her temple in attempts to feel less awkward.

“right, well we best be off anyway. we’ll see you at training ona and see you at camp luce” alessia said pulling her best friend along with her who shouted a loud “have fun!” as the blonde dragged her away.

the man united players could be heard giggling like children all the way to their car as ona shut the door behind them. she turned to look at lucy, nibbling on her bottom lip not knowing what her reaction would be “im sorry about them. i didn’t know they were dropping by.”

“don’t be silly, it’s fine. i know what they’re like. i’ve known them long enough” lucy chuckled.

“they’re going to tease us both like crazy now that they know about our ‘friendship’” ona said in air quotes as she came and sat beside lucy on the sofa.

“our friendship huh” lucy smirked.

ona suddenly became very shy, a small smile and crimson blush covering her face “well, i don’t know what you want to call this. it’s obviously way more than just a friendship to me” she said before swallowing deeply “i like you, a lot. like a lot a lot. i know it’s not been that long of knowing each other but it’s how i feel.”

lucy took her hand into her own, intertwining their fingers and moving her position so that she was facing ona “i like you a lot a lot too.”

they both smirked at each other before ona opened her mouth to speak “so we’re friends who like each other a lot then?”

“for now, but i promise you there’s so much more to come” lucy smiled, placing a kiss to her knuckles.

if lucy had it her way she would’ve asked ona to be her girlfriend there and then, but realistically it was still very early days. despite how much they both liked each other, she had not long come out of a seven year relationship and she liked and cared for ona so much that she wanted this to work. she wanted everything she did and said to be meaningful and to make her feel like she was the most special girl in the world, because that’s exactly what she deserved. they also had the world cup coming up very soon and with all focus being on that they most likely wouldn’t get to see one another for about three months.

ona smiled at her, but stiffened a little as she asked lucy “does that mean you’re still open to seeing other people…?” the nervousness evident in her tone.

“no” lucy immediately responded, shaking her head “my eyes, my head, my everything is only with you.”

although she didn’t feel like she should put a label on anything just yet, lucy didn’t want to see or speak to anyone else. she was so certain of that, her heart was purely reserved for ona now.

ona sighed a huge sigh of relief, relieved that she wasn’t interested in dating anyone else “thank god, me too.”

the world cup came around fast. it was like in the blink of an eye the champions league final was over and everyone was back with their international team mates. lucy loved playing for her country, it gave her a buzz she couldn’t experience with any club and she knew she played her best football with the girls she’d grown up with her whole life.

everything was going well for lucy at the moment, she was happy and everyone around her could see it. it was nice to see the woman, whom had a usually solemn expression grinning from ear to ear all the time and enjoying what would hopefully not be her last world cup. england were amazing throughout the whole tournament, they had made it to the final and despite having so much faith in all the girls around her, lucy couldn’t comprehend that she would be playing in a world cup final.

of course her happiness wasn’t just down to england’s success though, it was also due to the spaniard who she’d be playing against in the coming days. everything was going so well between them, they hadn’t seen each other since their weekend in manchester because of their completely hectic schedules and the world cup but that didn’t stop them from speaking at every available opportunity. lucy was constantly glued to her phone when the australian days turned into evenings and the first person to notice was none other than her close friend katie zelem.

herself and katie had been roommates for the first half of the tournament, something lucy had been hugely grateful for as the pair had grown super close in the recent months. it had only taken katie to the night before england’s first match against haiti, where she’d noticed the defender completely ignoring her, to question who she was constantly talking to.

“luce, im not being funny but you literally haven’t put your phone down all evening. don’t you want to chat?”

“sorry, what was that?” she said, barely tearing her eyes away from the screen.

katie rolled her eyes, a slight smirk tugging on her lips “who are you talking to?”

“just a friend.”

the manchester united player, not believing a word, lunged forward onto lucy’s bed and got a good enough glance to see who it was she was messaging before lucy instantly turned the phone away from her.

“ona? no way!” katie squealed, relishing in the deep shade of red lucy had turned.

the defender rolled her eyes “why’d you have to be so nosy for, can’t a girl have her secrets?”

“erm shes my friend i’ll have you find, and i thought there was something weird going on with her recently. ella & less kept teasing her about something as well, god it all makes sense now!”

lucy shook her head, a grin tugging on her lips at how excitable her team mate appeared to be upon hearing this information.

“so, go on then tell me everything. you must be well excited about her joining barça.”

that was another thing that had kept the smile on lucy’s face recently. it had come as a huge shock to her, she never really read about transfer rumours or contract renewals. she just left all of that stuff to the people it concerned, figuring she’d find out when or if she needed to. so, when ona had facetimed her the day before she headed to england camp and told her the news she was shocked, over the moon, and every emotion possible.

they hadn’t had any time to celebrate it of course, but lucy was planning so many things to congratulate her after this was over. they had already spoken about taking a vacation together, celebrating onas return to barça and one of their world cup victories and they both absolutely could not wait.

the three months they had spent apart had proved the absence makes the heart grow fonder theory. lucy had found herself swooning over every picture ona posted on her instagram and couldn’t help but send her cheeky text messages after every story upload.

‘i swear you’re the most beautiful woman on the planet’

whenever her phone pinged, the spaniard would pray it was from lucy and when she read the sweet messages she would send her it made her heart full and crave the english woman’s presence.

‘nothing in comparison to you my love, i miss you so much’

‘as much as i love seeing them, the pictures you post just make me want you even more’

‘just a few more weeks, and i’ll be all yours’

‘all mine? i like the sound of that’

there was still no title on the relationship the two women shared, both of them keeping up the ‘friends that like each other a lot’ term. but they both wanted more, they both acted like they were together and ona even had lucy saved in her phone as ‘my love’ but neither would drop the girlfriend bomb until they were reunited in person and they had both silently agreed on this.

the night before the final, lucy hadn’t facetimed ona. not because she didn’t want to, but she wanted both of their full focus to be on tomorrow and pulling through for their own countries. it would be weird playing against her in such a major game but lucy was prepared to do anything she could to make sure england came out with the win.

she was so ridiculously excited to see ona tomorrow as well, it had literally been over three months since they’d seen one another in the flesh and although it was under strange circumstances it didn’t dampen the excitement she felt one bit.

she was going into the biggest game of her life tomorrow and she planned on giving it her all. a world cup was all she had ever wanted and the fact this dream could come true in less than twelve hours made her feel all kinds of feelings.

just as she was about to turn over for the night, about to get some much needed sleep she heard her phone buzz and checked to see it was from her favourite person.

‘i know we’re not supposed to talk tonight but i couldn’t help myself sending you a good night text. get some rest and don’t stress too much about tomorrow, what will be will be and everyone will be so proud of you no matter what. i know how much this means to you lucia, and i’m so proud of you already. i can’t wait to see you, i don’t know how i’m going to resist you to be honest. good night my love, may the best team win ;)’

the next morning was filled with quick breakfasts and stretches before the england team bus departed to the final stadium in this tournament for the final game. lucy was sat beside jordan, someone whose constant chatter could easily distract her from the anxiety building up in the pit of her stomach.

“excited to see your girl?” jordan asked her.

lucy had told her best friend about ona from the very beginning, jordan had got wind of it from the wedding anyways but she was more than happy to tease lucy about it.

“we’ve been through this, she’s not my girlfriend, but yes i am excited to see her. i’ve missed her a lot.”

jordan scoffed “and don’t i know about it, you’ve been pining over her and talking about her since before we even got to australia.”

lucy rolled her eyes at the dramatics “i have not.”

“and don’t think i don’t see you sending her flirty messages all the time” jordan added, nudging her in the side.

“well maybe you shouldn’t be snooping over my shoulder when i’m talking to someone then” lucy shook her head, secretly grateful for jordan’s teasing taking her mind off of what was about to be the biggest performance of her life.

“im only messing with you, luce. i’m happy for you, it’s nice to see you like this. we’re still on for going away after this though, yeah?”

the two best friends had planned a few days away in ibiza together after the tournament was over. ona, and a couple of the arsenal girls were coming along to before lucy & ona would go off and spend just a day or two alone in menorca. lucy was really looking forward to it and couldn’t wait to just relax and not have the stress of another game to win on her shoulders.

“yeah, course. it’ll be a nice way to end this experience…after we win of course” lucy winked, going back to her music for the remainder of the short journey.

when they arrived at the stadium, all of the girls were overwhelmed by just how many fans were already waiting outside. they hadn’t expected to have half as many lioness fans here as they did and they were so grateful to the amount of people who had traveled across the globe to come and support them.

the girls walked out onto the pitch for their ritual pitch inspection and were surprised to see the spanish team entering the pitch shortly after them. lucy hadn’t expected to be faced with any of them until the beginning of the game and so she had to busy herself with talking to jordan before she let her nerves get the better of her. she wanted to see ona, of course she did, but the younger woman made her feel nervous and gave her huge amounts of butterflies that she hadn’t been prepared for until later on.

as she was mid conversation, lucy felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her waist and as she turned around she was met with none other than her captain, alexia.

“hola, lucia! it’s been too long.”

lucy smiled at the barcelona captain, giving her a tight hug “i’ve missed you, how’ve you been? congratulations on making the final.”

“congratulations to you too, it’s crazy isn’t it. i can’t believe we’ve made it to the final. it’ll be weird to play against you though, but go easy on us sì?” alexia smirked, giving her club team mate a nudge.

“never. you know i’m in this to win it” lucy replied with a smirk, her eyes suddenly leaving the woman’s infront of her and focusing on a smaller woman slowly approaching behind alexia.

she immediately knew who it was just from the smile that was etched onto her face. lucy had memorised every detail of onas face and so as she came to stand beside alexia, her eyes never leaving lucy’s, lucy’s smile instantly widened.

“fancy seeing you here” was the first thing ona said, her smile never faltering.

lucy couldn’t quite believe she was right in front of her now, she had spent so many months missing the spaniard and now she was just right here and she couldn’t even do any of the things she wanted. if they were in a different situation and not in the middle of a pitch surrounded by their team mates, she would’ve instantaneously wrapped her arms around her, embraced her in a tight hug and kissed her senseless.

but she didn’t, instead she settled with a choked out “hi.”

lucy mentally kicked herself, she was a typical flirt any other day of the week but after not seeing ona for so long and now having to act as though they were simply just mutual friends in front of everyone left her not knowing how to act at all.

alexia clearly got wind of the crazy sexual tension in the air and let out a small cough before excusing herself “im just going to say hi to keira, i’ll see you both in a while.”

as she turned and left, leaving both women standing there staring at each other, lucy opened here mouth to speak “im sorry, that was a shit welcome.”

ona giggled, raising her eyebrow “it’s okay, i didn’t know i made you so nervous.”

lucy shook her head, looking down at her feet with a smirk on her face before mumbling “if all these people weren’t around i would’ve given you a better hello.”

“i don’t think anyone’s going to be suspicious if you just give me a hug” ona replied, stepping closer to her and craving the feeling of lucy’s arms wrapped around her.

the defender looked deep into her eyes, getting lost in the pretty pools of brown and reached to subtly intertwine their hands before pulling her into her chest. ona sighed at the contact, her arms coming up to wrap around lucy’s neck and instantly melting into her. lucy wrapped her own arms around her waist, resting her head on top of onas and breathed in the scent of her shampoo that she had missed so much.

“ive missed you so much” ona whispered into her neck, placing the tiniest and softest kiss there.

lucy felt her body shiver at the feeling, desperately craving more “i’ve missed you more beautiful.”

begrudgingly, they pulled away from each other, not wanting the hug to linger on too long that it made people suspicious. of course there was a handful of their team mates that were aware of the growing connection between the two but there was also the majority that had no idea. keira was one of them, and out of respect and with ona joining barça in the new season, lucy wanted to tell her herself when the time was right.

“god, i can’t wait to kiss you later” lucy whispered just as they’d pulled away.

ona let out a small chuckle, biting down on her own bottom lip “it’s all i can think about, having you all to myself.”

the pair continued their conversation, trying their hardest to concentrate on the game ahead and not get caught up in any more flirting. lucy took the time to go around and speak to all of her barcelona teammates, wishing them luck and having miniature catch ups before they all had to return inside. as sarina summoned her inside, she turned around to get one more look at ona, finding her to already be smiling widely after her before going in to get ready with the rest of the girls.

lucy was feeling motivated as she stepped out onto the pitch, last out as always, never messing up her tradition. the crowd was full of energy and she took in the atmosphere as much as she could before the first whistle blew, this was it. this was the very moment she had dreamt of her whole life and she couldn’t mess this up.

1-0 olga carmona scored in the 29th minute, and although frustrated lucy didn’t let it get to her. england still had time on their side and could equalise if they pushed on hard enough.

penalty for spain, a completely unfair handball from keira made the referees decision to hand out a penalty. lucy desperately tried to argue it, never once leaving keira’s side but it was no use the decision had been made. she worried about how this would affect keira mentally, she had been there in the last world cup and watched the midfielder struggle with ridiculous amounts of hate once the tournament had ended and saw what a negative impact it had on her mental health. she tapped her shoulder mouthing ‘don’t worry’ before taking their positions.

the crowd erupted when mary made the most impressive save that lucy and everyone in the stadium had ever seen. it filled the defender with a tiny bit more hope, but as the minutes ticked on and spain were still dominating with the ball she started to lose all faith.

when the final whistle blew, signalling the end all lucy could do was collapse to the floor and attempt to drown out the loud cheers of the spanish players. she had given it her all, and yet it still wasn’t enough. this had been her biggest dream throughout her whole life and it had been snatched away from her just like that. she layed there with her face in the ground for what felt like forever, feeling the pats to her shoulder from her team mates but not having the physical or mental strength to even speak.

she could hear the small cries of her teammates around her and as she looked up, she saw ona only two feet in front of her. she was looking down at her with a soft expression, one that showed she genuinely cared but all lucy could do was immediately stand up and walk off in the opposite direction.

ona was hurt by the reaction, opening her mouth to call to her but immediately closing it again as lucy walked off into the distance. she understood the pain she was feeling but that didn’t make her feel any less shit about being ignored. she understood that lucy needed space right now, despite wanting to comfort her so she gathered the best thing to do right now was leave her for the time being and go and celebrate with her team.

lucy felt terrible for how she had just acted, it wasn’t onas fault but right now she needed to be alone. she needed for no one to be around her whilst she collected her thoughts and so once the team huddle was over, she opted for heading straight back inside.

“wait, luce” a familiar voice called out to her.

she stopped in her tracks and turned to face keira, who had tear stains all down her cheeks. the ginger stepped towards her and wrapped her in a tight hug, which although lucy didn’t actively engage in it allowed it to happen.

“don’t shut the world out okay, i know this will hurt you more than most but don’t go into yourself. let your loved ones try and make you feel better” she whispered into her ear.

lucy looked at her with a confused expression, did she know about her and ona? she blinked a few times not even being able think about that right now, and whispered a tiny “thanks, kei.”

although their relationship hadn’t worked out, keira was still lucy’s best friend. they had been through so much together and the midfielder still knew her better than most people.

the broken hearted defender decided to take her advice and not completely shut away from everything, she put on one of the lioness puffer coats and made her way to the dug out. placing her head into her hands, she silently sobbed as she took in the days events.

she was there for a good few moments alone, no one daring to go near her, knowing no words would ever be enough to make her feel better. until, she looked up once again and saw ona coming towards her, fiddling with her hands nervously.

“i know you probably don’t want to speak to me and i get it, but please don’t run away from me” she said in a small voice, breaking lucy’s heart just that little bit more.

ona had seen the whole interaction between lucy and keira, it made her feel all kinds of jealous, with the knowledge of the seven long years they had spent together and knowing that keira knew how to comfort lucy in a way that she was yet to discover. however, there was no way she was going to bring that up now, she was glad that lucy had been comforted in some way, even if it was from her ex girlfriend but that wasn’t important right now.

“i can’t imagine what your feeling right now, so i won’t even try but i told you that no matter the outcome everyone would be so proud of you, and they are…i’m so proud of you.”

lucy looked up and met the younger woman’s eyes, her outline blurred by the tears filling her own eyes. ona bent down to kneel infront of her, stroking up and down her legs before lucy muttered out “it’s all my fault. i fucked it up for all of us.”

ona shook her head “no, absolutely not. i won’t let you blame yourself for this. football is a team sport, sometimes you win together and unfortunately sometimes you lose together but this is not on you.”

the defender shook her head as another fresh wave of tears escaped her eyes and silently cascaded down her cheek. it broke onas heart to see her this broken, so she wrapped her arms tightly around her neck and held her tighter than ever as lucy sobbed into her shoulder.

they stayed like this for a long while, neither caring about the cameras constantly coming round to snap pictures of the moment. lucy pulled away for a moment and ona came up from her position kneeling infront of her to sit beside her. she took full advantage of lucy having her coat on her lap and intertwined their hands together underneath it, rubbing her knuckles with her thumb.

lucy sighed, her sobs finally subsiding before she spoke “im sorry. i shouldn’t have acted that way and walked away from you i just couldn’t face the pain of talking about it.”

ona shook her head “don’t apologise, i understand.”

“go celebrate with your team, you deserve it you don’t want to miss out on that moment being sat here with me.”

the spaniard gripped her hand impossibly tighter “im exactly where i want to be right now.”

lucy met her with a genuine smile, wondering how she ever got this lucky to have someone like the woman beside her in her life “im so proud of you too by the way, you were amazing out there, you have been this whole tournament and you deserve this more than anyone.”

ona reciprocated the smile, grateful that lucy seemed to be calming down a little now “gracias mi amor.”

“i just can’t believe it’s all over now” lucy began “all these months of preparing, the years of build up just for it to all be finished with just like that. i don’t know what i’m supposed to focus my energy on now.”

the spaniard decided to try and lighten the mood a little, and with a smirk said “me?”

lucy let out a huff of a laugh, shaking her head but grateful for the way ona could instantly lift her mood.

“im serious, it’s been a long few months without you, im going to need a lot of attention” she added on, her smirk never leaving her lips.

“well there’s definitely something i can do about that, i mean you are a world cup champion after all you deserve only the best” lucy replied.

the two stayed grinning at each other, unable to take their eyes off of one another and lucy was so grateful that ona was here to help her take her mind off of the pain. it would hurt for a while, she knew that and to have come so close will always be something that hurts her yet also brings her so much pride. she was so proud of this team and also so proud of the spaniard beside her and she would make sure she knew that, oh boy would would she make sure she knew that.

the party after the final was something lucy was hugely grateful for. at first, the thought of celebrating englands loss was completely mind blowing to her, she was completely against the idea and couldn’t comprehend how anyone would enjoy that. however, after some convincing from jordan she agreed to attend and was pleasantly surprised on how much it lifted her mood. it took her a good few hours longer than everyone else to accept the result and also realise that second place was damn impressive. as a team, the lionesses had won the euros the previous year and now come second in a world cup and after a stern talking to from sarina, she realised how impressive this was and how proud she was to be a part of this team.

the drinks were flowing and the entire team were on a high, which was a welcome contrast from the tears that were being shed earlier. a majority of the girls’ families were there too, including lucy’s which was another added bonus and after speaking to them for the majority of the night, she then found herself in the corner of the room with jordan. it wasn’t surprising, whenever the pair attended anything together they almost always ended up just chatting amongst themselves and with a lot of alcohol in their system they ended up having one of their classic drunk debriefs.

“you’re okay now though luce, yeah?”

lucy nodded “it’s what i’ve always wanted and it’s undoubtedly going to hurt for a while but like sarina said earlier, second place is still incredible. as a little girl, i never even imagined coming this far in my career so i’m pretty proud right now.”

jordan smiled at her friend, happy that she wasn’t taking this loss as terribly as everyone had expected. she was proud of lucy and although she could talk about the tournament for days, she wanted to change the subject and talk about something a little more lighthearted.

“so, i couldn’t help but notice a certain someone abandoning her own celebrations to look after you” jordan said, her eyebrows wiggling up and down.

“jord, i felt terrible. i kept telling her to go be with the spanish girls but she wouldn’t leave my side” lucy explained, thinking back to her moment with ona in the dug out.

“she obviously cares about you a lot, i’ve seen some of the pictures already and, you know i hate to be mushy but they’re incredibly sweet.”

lucy sighed, a soft smile coming to her lips as she thought back “that’s just her though, she’s incredibly sweet.”

jordan let a huge smirk wipe across her face as she nudged lucy in the side “has lucy bronze gone soft? i never thought id see the day!”

“oh, shut up” she laughed rolling her eyes, and suddenly her tone became slightly more serious as she thought even more “i want to ask her to be my girlfriend.”

lucy watched as jordan produced the widest grin she’d ever seen and began clapping her hands like an excitable school girl “finally! i think it’s long overdue if you ask me, but you should ask her when we go away. spains a romantic place and she’s from there so it’ll be pretty special.”

lucy nodded, thinking of all the ways she could pull this off “im excited for you to finally meet her properly.”

jordan had met ona at the wedding very briefly and also played against her a few times in the wsl but they’d never had a proper introductory meeting. she evidently made lucy so undeniably happy and so the small woman was excited to get to know her properly “im excited too, it’ll be good for us all. she’s stunning as well i don’t know how you managed it” she said with a wink.

lucy rolled her eyes, a smirk playing on her lips “you better not start hitting on her or there’ll be an issue” she said sternly, her phone suddenly getting a ping from a clearly very drunk ona.

‘i hope you’re feeling better, i hate seeing you so upset it breaks my heart. ugh, im at the after party now and all i can think about is you. what have you done to me lucia roberta?!’

the defender chuckled at the message, her heart melting at the prospect of ona thinking about her just as much as she thought of her.

‘you should be enjoying your party, champ! i’m feeling much better now, all thanks to you. you make me feel so many ways i can’t even explain it.’

ona came back to that message by sending a photo of herself at the party, her medal hanging proudly around her neck as she captioned it ‘meet me after the party, at my hotel?’

lucy could’ve drooled at the sight of that picture, the spaniard always looking too good. the after party’s for both teams had been held not even five minutes across the street from one another and so knowing that lucy was so near, yet so far made ona antsy.

‘my god, you look good. gold suits you.’

‘i’ve always preferred bronze.’

the older woman’s jaw literally dropped at that response, her whole body heating up at the effortless flirting that came so naturally to them. it was becoming more and more obvious how deprived and desperate for one another they were and although lucy wanted nothing more than to go and see her, she needed ona to enjoy this once in a lifetime celebration with her team.

‘you’re making me need you so bad. i would love to come and see you, but i want you to enjoy this night with your team mates. i’ll come by tomorrow morning before our flight leaves, promise.’

it took a lot more messages and a lot of convincing to get ona to agree. she was very drunk, deservedly so, and very needy but finally came to the agreement if lucy kept her promise of seeing her tomorrow.

the night went on for both the english and spanish teams way into the early hours of the morning, every player enjoying themselves just that little bit too much.

lucy woke to the australian sun hitting her face for the last time and instantly craved a giant glass of ice cold water. she didn’t feel too rough, considering the 90 minute match she had played and alcohol she had consumed all in the last 24 hours. she would miss these mornings, she would miss the routine she had gotten herself into throughout these long weeks but she was also ready for a break. she needed some time to recharge after how mentally and physically demanding this tournament had been and so the only thing she could think about right now was getting off that plane and landing in spain for a well deserved holiday.

the lionesses’ flight left in a few hours and so they would be heading to the airport in just over an hour, but lucy knew she had a promise to fulfill before that. ona had pleaded and pleaded with her to go and see her last night but lucy had stuck to her word and wanted the younger woman to enjoy her night with her team. however, there was no stopping her now though, she got herself ready and threw on a tracksuit heading towards the spanish team hotel.

she prayed that none of the other players would see her, knowing she’d never get over the embarrassment of being summoned to what very much looked like a ‘booty call.’

she’d had ona send over her room number last night and so as she scanned along the corridors, she finally found the one she was looking for. taking a deep breath, she instantly knocked, she didn’t have much time at all until she had to be packed up and on the bus so she didn’t want to waste a minute.

it took a few minutes for the door to creak open, and lucy was met with the sight of ona stood there in pyjamas, rubbing at her tired eyes. when she clocked that it was lucy standing infront of her, her lips curved up into a smile and in a sleepy voice she said “finally.”

“you going to invite me in then, or what?” lucy asked with a smirk to which ona instantly mirrored as she opened the door wider.

as soon as she shut the door she turned around to see lucy stepping closer into her space, her hands came to rest on either side of onas hips as she whispered into her lips “i’ve missed you more than you can imagine.”

onas eyes flickered shut as she felt lucy slowly push her back up against the door, having her so close again was such an overwhelming yet extremely welcome feeling and she needed more “lucy, please.”

“please what?” lucy smirked, placing a tiny kiss to the underside of her jaw as she watched her squirm against the hard wood door.

“just kiss me or something.”

lucy happily obliged to the demand, smashing their lips together for the first time in months and instantly melting into the contact. she kissed her with as much passion as she could, trying her best to convey how much she had missed her and also how proud she was of her just in a kiss.

ona slipped her tongue into lucy’s mouth, swallowing the deep moan that escaped and began tracing her hands across the strong abs that lined her stomach underneath her top. she allowed both of her hands to roam over the powerful bumps and still couldn’t get over how athletically fit lucy was.

the older woman unattached herself from the spaniards lips, moving to press her mouth against her neck and placing little bites there which she soothed over with her tongue.

“im so proud of you” she whispered into her neck as she continued peppering rough kisses “so, so proud….you were amazing….the worlds champion….spains champion…..my champion.”

that was onas weak spot, whenever lucy referred to her as ‘hers.’ she was also so appreciative of the praise, knowing how hard lucy took the loss made it even more special that the english woman was genuinely so happy and proud of her.

“your champion?” ona mumbled out.

lucy nodded into her neck, whispering into her ear “all mine” before she nipped at her ear lobe.

ona grinned, her head rolling back as she enjoyed the feeling of lucy now pressing her lips to the hollow of her throat. she removed one of her hands from lucy’s toned stomach and intertwined her fingers with hers, trying to pull her over to her double bed. lucy happily followed her lead, pulling the duvet covers over them both as she pressed ona back into the mattress, arms bracketing around her head and holding her weight so that she didn’t squash her.

the smaller woman looked up at her with a look in her eye that screamed pure want and lust, so she took to kissing her deeply as she went about removing her shirt. she stared at the spaniard below her, taking in the beautiful sight of her bare chest and toned stomach, biting on her lip before she dived right in.

“fuck, you’re beautiful” she mumbled as she massaged her right breast in her hand and took her left nipple into her mouth, swirling it with her tongue. the noises ona made beneath her was like music to her ears, unable to contain the grin on her face.

“luce, i need you” she said breathlessly, from underneath her.

lucy placed delicate kisses down the valley of her chest, whispering “you’ve got me, baby.”

“no…like, i need you, right now” she tried again, removing lucy’s hand from off of her breast and placing it onto the top of her pyjama shorts.

the older woman, understanding exactly what she meant grinned into her stomach as she worked her mouth lower and lower down her abdomen, closer to where she wanted her most “well…as i said, anything for you champ.”

she placed a final kiss at the waist band of her shorts, before beginning to pull them down, ever so slowly. she dragged her hands down with them, tracing the woman’s inner thighs as she looked up to meet her eyes, grinning the entire time. as she flung the material somewhere in the midst of the room, she settled herself in between her thighs and began to pepper delicate kisses all the way up and around her thighs.

ona was an absolute mess underneath her, her mind filled with everything lucy and she was so turned on it was practically painful. it was what lucy said next though, which made her want to scream.

“are you sure you want to do this right now? i mean, this hallway is literally full of your team mates” she grinned, taking a nip at her strong thigh.

the spaniard let out a groan, grabbing lucy’s hand and pulling her up and atop of her so that she was eye level with her and said in a breathy voice “lucia, i swear to god. it’s been three months i can’t wait any longer. everyone had their girlfriends and boyfriends with them last night, it’s my turn now.”

lucy couldn’t help but feel her heart warm at onas slight slip up of subtly referring to her as her girlfriend, but she wasn’t going to tease her any more, she wasn’t that mean. she placed another passionate kiss to her lips, before kissing down her stomach again and eventually getting to where she needed to be.

she placed her tongue flat against her before dragging it through her folds, as onas hands came to grip onto her head and tugging at her hair. the spaniard let out a loud breathy moan, one that her teammates could definitely hear through the thin walls of the hotel room but right now she couldn’t bring herself to care.

her back arched off of the bed as lucy’s strong muscle came up to swirl around her sensitive nub, taking it into her mouth and sucking with intent. this only made ona tighten her grip in lucy’s hair, taking full control of where she wanted her to be and gently scratching at her scalp.

“i…i need..” she began to cry out, but lucy knew exactly what she needed before she even had the chance to finish her sentence and so quickly plunged two fingers into her deep heat. the new sensation caused onas mouth to fall agape, and with lucy’s fingers now working in and out of her at a record pace, her mouth continuing its work on her swollen clit the younger woman knew she wouldn’t last long.

and she was right, it wasn’t long at all before her stomach started to tighten and her thighs began to close around lucy’s head. her breathing quickened as she moaned out “luce…im gunna…”

“let go my love, you’re a winner, you deserve this” lucy said as she thrust her fingers into her one more time and increased the pressure of her tongue.

that was all ona needed to push her over the edge, her eyes screwed shut as stars erupted behind her closed eyelids and she bit down onto her own hand, desperately trying to quieten down the moans that were escaping her lips as she came. her chest heaved up and down as she rode out her high and when she let out a deep sigh lucy slowly removed her fingers and mouth, grazing a tiny kiss on her trembling thigh before coming up to lay beside her.

lucy lay on her side, propping her head up with her elbow, facing the girl next to her with a smile on her face. as ona finally managed to open her eyes, she turned her head to face lucy and met her with a shy smile “that was incredible.”

lucy smirked, pulling her into her arms under the duvet and cuddling up with her. ona placed a series of light kisses across her cheek before resting her head on her chest and tangling their legs together “im so happy to be back with you, in your arms.”

“me too, beautiful. the bus will be heading to the airport soon though, so i can’t stay too much longer” lucy replied, cascading her arms up and down onas bare back.

“don’t leave me” ona pouted, feeling so clingy to the older woman after being away from her for too long.

lucy let out a little chuckle, loving the needy side to her “it’s not for long, just three days and we’ll be in ibiza together.”

“it can’t come soon enough, im excited to meet some of your friends properly, and for you to meet my brother” ona said, playing with lucy’s fingers.

lucy smiled down at her, looking deep into her eyes as she suddenly felt overwhelmed with a feeling that could only be described as love “i want to give you everything.”

“lucia, you already do” she began, placing her hand on her face and stroking her cheek lovingly “there’s only one more thing i could possibly want from you but i know it’s to come” she finished with a slight smirk.

lucy knew exactly what she was referring to and wanted that more than anything to. after her conversation with jordan the previous night, she had thought of how she was going to ask ona to be her girlfriend during their trip to spain and as she lay in bed last night she came up with what she thought was the perfect plan and couldn’t wait to put it to use. it wasn’t anything extremely extravagant, lucy never had been the over the top type but it was something meaningful nevertheless and all she could do now was wait for it all to unfold.

stepping off of the plane and being hit with the familiarity of the spanish sun was just what lucy needed. she had spent a whole season playing in spain now, and the country had become like home for her, so returning after a long while in australia filled her with a sense of relief.

she was so excited to be in ibiza for the short week that the world cup finalists had off before the beginning of the new season, and wanted to soak up as much time as she could with jordan before they had to separate for however long again. the aston villa player hadn’t played a single minute throughout the whole tournament, and it left the two best friends fearing her spot on the national team. jordan had always been a rock to lucy, a constant in her life no matter where she played in the world and the thought of not even being able to see her at england camp made the defender feel pretty shit.

jordan was in high spirits though, immediately running around the villa they had rented out to decide what bedroom she wanted to claim. so far, it was just the two of them but they were shortly to be joined by jordan’s ex arsenal team mates katie and caitlin and also ona, her brother and his friend. it was an odd mix of people from an outsiders perspective, but lucy was familiar with katie and caitlin through all of the years jordan had known them and so had grown quite close to them.

“bagsy this room!” jordan shouted, as lucy trailed in after her, somehow being the one left to drag all of the luggage in.

“you’re such a child” lucy shook her head before she thought for a moment, “well, i suppose the least i can do is let you have first dibs. seeing as you’re practically the only single one.”

lucy let out a laugh, jordan giving her the side eye “yeah alright, thanks for reminding me.”

“when are caitlin and katie getting here?” lucy questioned.

jordan checked the time on her phone “their flight gets in any time now. what about ona and her lot?”

“she said she should be here just before lunch time, so a couple of hours i’d imagine.”

the two busied themselves with unpacking as they waited for the others to arrive. jordan had without a doubt picked the best room, but lucy had had second choice and managed to secure the next best one with a sea view. as she looked out at the ocean, she felt a wave of excitement about ona being there soon and also the big question she was going to ask her during the trip.

the whole situation between herself and the spaniard was so unexpected, and she never once imagined finding a connection with someone like she had with ona. it had come as the nicest surprise, she was so happy to have someone to feel excited to see, to cuddle with, to completely adore again.

the arsenal team mates had since arrived and had done nothing but interrogate lucy about herself and ona since their arrival.

“so, you’re dating the world cup champion i hear?” an irish accent asked her.

lucy rolled her eyes with a grin, “god, news travels fast around here…nothings official as of right now, but yeah i am.”

it was caitlin’s turn to pipe up now “jordy filled us in on how you started talking and everything, it’s very sweet. it’s actually nice to see the fans going crazy over you two now and leaving our messy situation alone for a bit” she explained, nudging katie in the side.

as soon as the photos of ona comforting lucy had been released, the fans had gone nothing short of wild. they were both popular players within their own countries and so seeing how intimate the interaction looked had sent many people spiralling. of course the speculation was made even worse through the fact that most fans were still under the impression that lucy and keira were still together, and lucy felt terrible seeing how many times keira had been tagged in the pictures.

she was fairly certain that keira wouldn’t care, but she had wanted to tell her about her and ona in her own time, especially with her joining barça. the defender also worried about ona, not wanting the sudden increase in attention on her personal life to freak her out. lucy was used to it, she had dealt with prying eyes throughout her entire relationship with keira and had grown to just accept that people wanted the ins and outs of her life. however, with ona being that bit younger than her she wanted to protect her from it and made a promise to herself to always check in on her in that aspect.

the lunch was beginning to be prepared, and the sound of the front door opening snapped lucy out of the day dream she had found herself in. the other three girls shared knowing smirks at each other as they watched their friend bolt inside and over to where the commotion of noise was coming from.

when she made it into the hallway, lucy was met with her favourite pair of brown eyes and her lips immediately turned up into a smile. it didn’t matter how many times they reunited, every time felt even more special and she felt more excited to see her each time.

when her eyes met lucy’s, ona immediately dropped her luggage, taking a few long strides until she was directly infront of lucy and jumped up into her arms. the sudden weight took lucy by surprise, but she caught her regardless, both hands gripping below her thighs as ona wrapped her arms around her neck and her legs around her waist.

“missed you, again” lucy said with a grin, feeling like that was all they ever said to each other. she was so excited to have ona with her on a more permanent basis now that the world cup was over and they would now be playing for the same club.

“hopefully that was the last time we’ll have to miss each other for a while” the spaniard replied, leaning her forehead against lucy’s before giving her a sweet kiss.

lucy kissed her back, smiling into it before she remembered onas brother was standing right behind them and they hadn’t even been introduced yet. she quickly pulled them apart, gently placing ona back down to stand beside her before turning to welcome her brother, feeling slightly awkward at the interaction he’d just had to watch take place with his sister.

“im sorry, we haven’t even met properly yet” she began as she introduced herself “im lucy, it’s nice to meet you.”

joan gave her a smirk, before responding “oh trust me, i’ve heard a lot about you. it’s nice to finally meet the girl my sister doesn’t shut up about.”

lucy watched as ona turned a deep shade of red, nudging her brother in the side before muttering “cállate!”

the older woman laughed, grateful to have something to tease ona about later on as they all moved outside to greet one another and wait for the lunch to be finished.

the day was going well. lucy couldn’t be happier and she was getting along with onas brother amazingly. as much as she had been looking forward to this break away so much, she had been slightly nervous to meet joan and his friend, daniel as she knew how close they were to ona and how protective they were of her. however, all of her fears had been put to rest as she spent pretty much the entire afternoon chatting with and getting to know them.

jordan had practically kidnapped ona for the last couple of hours too, being so excited to meet her properly and talking her ear off. the spaniard was overjoyed by jordan’s reaction to her though, as like lucy she had been worried to meet her best friend incase she didn’t think she was good enough or something, but jordan had been nothing but a sweetheart.

joan could see lucy watching his sister and jordan together, with a content smile on her face and it made his heart warm knowing how much she cared for her “she really, really likes you lucy.”

lucy turned her attention away from the two women with wide eyes, and a toothy grin plastered across her face “and i really, really like her. she’s the most amazing girl i’ve ever met.”

joan smiled at that, a glint of cheekiness in his eyes as he said “she’ll kill me if she knows i told you this but, she’s desperate to be your girlfriend she goes on about it all the time.”

“trust me, it’s coming. i was planning on asking her this week actually, in menorca, but obviously keep that to yourself” lucy said with a chuckle.

“don’t you worry, your secrets safe with me” he replied with a smirk, before both himself and daniel excused themselves to unpack their things.

ona had noticed that lucy was finally unoccupied almost immediately and instantly made her way over. the defender looked up from her position laid out on the sun lounger as she noticed something blocking the sun light and her eyes fell on a bikini clad ona, sunglasses covering her eyes and smile resting on her lips. she could’ve drooled at the sight, but as she opened her mouth to speak the younger girl got there first.

“i’ve been waiting to have your full attention” she said with a fake pout.

“trust me, you’ve got my full attention” lucy replied, eyeing her up and down whilst biting on her bottom lip.

ona smirked at the witty response “i hope my brothers not interrogating you too much.”

“nah, not at all it’s nice to get to know him properly he seems absolutely great” lucy assured before she added “now, c’mere you.”

the spaniard didn’t hesitate for a moment before taking lucy’s outstretched hand and climbing onto the sun lounger with her, laying in between her legs with her head laid back on her chest. ona let out a content sigh as lucy wrapped her arms around her, resting her hands on her torso and placing delicate kisses across her shoulder.

lucy started trailing kisses all the way up her neck and as she finally reached her ear she whispered “you look so good, baby.”

“you like the bikini, sí?” ona replied, feeling her whole body turn a deep shade of red.

“like it? i absolutely love it” lucy said, subtly sucking at the sweet spot behind her ear before mumbling “even if i do just want to rip it off you.”

ona let out a small gasp, feeling her whole body shiver with desire and wanting nothing more than lucy’s hands all over her body right now. there was no way they could escape for a few minutes though without at least one person coming to find them, so the smaller woman thought of the next best thing.

she reached down into the small bag that was placed underneath the lounger, out of the direct sunlight, and pulled out a bottle of tanning oil. she handed it to lucy expectedly, not saying a word but donning a wide grin. lucy looked at the bottle that had been placed in her hands and then at ona, slight confusion on her expression before the spaniard leant into her ear.

“we’re not going to be getting any alone time anytime soon…and i miss your touch, my love.”

lucy smirked, recognition now plastered across her face as she nodded, popping open the lid. ona turned her back to her, her eyes closing shut and a content smile on her face. the englishwoman poured a generous amount of oil onto her hands, rubbing them together before placing them onto onas tattooed back. ona couldn’t help but let out a deep sigh as she melted into the contact, the way lucy massaged her back making her feel so light and warm.

lucy’s strong hands continued their movements across her back, and ona could feel herself slipping into an almost sleep like state before she jumped at katie’s booming voice “lunch is ready guys!”

“how was that for you miss?” lucy joked, leaning forward and resting her chin on her shoulder.

“perfect, so so good. you’ve got talented hands, lucia” ona said with a smirk.

lucy checked around them to see that everyone was occupied with plating up their food before she whispered into her ear “i’ll make you feel even better tonight…with my talented hands.”

the spaniard nibbled on her lip, her mind flitting back to the last night the pair had spent together in her hotel room. lucy reached her hand around, placing her hand on her chin and tilting it so their lips could meet in a passionate kiss.

ona kissed her deeply, letting out the quietest moan that sent lucy’s body into overdrive. they almost forget their surroundings, getting lost in each other before another shout, this time from jordan, broke them from their trance “oi, come have some lunch before you end up fucking on the sun loungers.”

both girls turned a deep shade of crimson, ona unable to look her brother in the eye as they went over to get some food that katie had cooked.

their time away as a group had been nothing short of incredible. everyone had gotten along so well and it was so nice to spend time together as friends, rather than footballers for once. the group had spent their time partying, lounging on the beach, watching movies outside together and it had been literally perfect.

lucy and ona had spent the time completely lost in each other. the trip had been fantastic and had solidified their strong feelings for each other even more so than before, and they both could confidently say they were in love. the pair couldn’t be happier and as they now sat in a tapas restaurant in menorca, just the two of them lucy stared deeply into her eyes and couldn’t be more certain of asking the question that had been on her mind for so long.

“what are you looking at me like that for, lucia?” ona shivered under her intense gaze.

lucy let out a small chuckle, placing her fork down as she finished her food “i’ll just never get over how beautiful you are.”

ona smiled, a genuine, happy smile. it didn’t matter how many times lucy told her that, it turned her into a human puddle everytime. meeting lucy had been everything she’d ever dreamt of and more. she’d always had a little crush on her, realistically who wouldn’t? but the defender had turned into her favourite person almost instantly, and she fell in love with her in every way possible. she’d dated many girls before, but not one of them even slightly compared to the woman sat in front of her, no one had ever treated her with as much care as lucy did and no one had ever made her feel so special.

when they finished their food, lucy diverted them in the direction of the beach, hands intertwined as they came to sit on the sand. it mirrored their very first date perfectly, all those months ago in barcelona and they both turned to look at each other with content smiles on their faces.

this was the moment, and lucy knew it. she reached for onas hands, holding them tightly in her own before she took a deep breath and began to speak.

“you look beautiful tonight, you always do and i know i tell you all the time but im just so in awe of you all the time.”

“you are the sweetest, mi amor” ona replied, placing a delicate kiss on her knuckles.

“you’re probably wondering why we’re here at this time of night, especially considering we spend most of our days here at the beach” lucy began with a light chuckle, reaching into her pocket to hand ona a box.

“i wanted to give you this.”

ona looked down at the jewellery box, a wide smile dancing across her face “you’ve already treated me with so much, you didn’t have to get me anything. thank you, so much.”

she slowly opened the red box, lifting up the top to reveal the most beautiful necklace. her hand instantly covered her mouth as she realised exactly what the piece of jewellery was, a cartier love necklace. she looked lucy deep in the eyes, her hand remaining over her slightly open mouth and pleaded for her body to stop shaking.

lucy met her with a smile “you’ve been the most unexpected, yet best surprise to come into my life. i wasn’t looking for any sort of relationship whatsoever but when i first saw you properly at lucy’s wedding, i couldn’t get you out my head. your texts and facetimes were the best parts of my day, and now being with you is my favourite thing in the world.”

she took a deep breath before continuing, “i can’t even put into words how i feel about you to be honest. you’re just incredible in every single way, stunning, funny, kind and i could literally go on forever. i’m so excited to spend more time with you and play together at barça, it makes my heart race at the idea of spending everyday with you and not having to say goodbye after just a couple of days.”

ona had tears in her eyes now, willing for them not to fall as lucy lucy tightened her grip on her hand “i brought you to the beach because, it’s where we had our first date, it’s where i first kissed you and ultimately it’s where i realised just how much i was going to like you. but now, as i look out into the same ocean i did all those months ago…i’ve got a lot more feelings, a lot more memories with you and…so much love for you.”

the spaniard couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down her face now as lucy brought her thumb up to wipe them away “so, i brought you this necklace to symbolise that love because if there’s one thing that im certain of in my life it’s that…i love you, so much and i would love nothing more than for you to be my girlfriend.”

ona desperately wiped at her eyes so that she could look at lucy more clearly, before launching herself into her and forcing her to lay back in the sand. she hovered over her, placing her hand on her cheek and stroking her face before smashing their lips together, mumbling into them “sí! yes! in every language i’ll be your girlfriend. i’ve been waiting for this.”

lucy smiled up at her, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear before ona spoke again “that was the most beautiful moment. no one has ever made me feel the way you do my love, i love you so much.”

“te amo más.”

#lucy bronze #ona batlle #lucy bronze x ona batlle #fluff #smut #woso fanfics

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yeonjuns-beanie · 8 months

Text

Halo Pt.1

warnings: a lot of plot, 18+, eventual smut (unprotected sex, biting, marking, light blood(play), hair pulling, body worship, dub-con, light fear play, more may be added upon update)), yandere themes(stalking, manipulation, etc)

summary: in your free time you do freelance writing, doing interviews with people most would consider strange and unusual. when you recognize that one of the regulars in your coffee shop only visits in the evening, you pose the question of whether you can interview him. upon his agreement, you realize this is unlike any other interview.

a/n: i have no idea where this came from but its been rotting my brain. hope whoever finds this enjoys it! I'll be uploading the second half in a few days, school has been taking up a lot of my time lately.

word count: 6.7k

Vampire!seonghwa x female reader

pt.2

The hustle from the afternoon-evening rush finally settled down, leaving you a moment to catch your breath and rest your nerves. You favored working night shifts because of how routinely easy it was compared to mornings, but the one thing you loathed was the mini rushes. They lasted far too long and happened in increments that were too close together. It was like everyone forgot that the coffee shop existed and they needed to get their final fix in before the building closed.

Appreciating the minute silence of no customers coming in through your drive-thru, you focused on the somewhat comforting static of the conversations happening in your cafe. You were able to take a simple delight in the smells behind the bar. Varying roasts, some pastries that had been left out, and the all but familiar smell that was the store.

With the dying down of customers now that it was just an hour before closing, you waited for your arcane regular to make his nightly appearance. He was painfully beautiful, clad in all black, and a man of few words. You never really got a gauge on who he was. Now that you thought about it, he was probably the only regular that you didn’t have an extensive background on.

As you restocked cups and lids, the bell on the door jingled signaling you to look up at who walked in. Stunning per usual, the heels of his dress shoes echoed through the lobby. Taking in his outfit, his chest was adorned in a black, hollow collar long sleeve, black slacks to match, and a designer tote to pull it all together. His hair was carefully styled, a few gelled strands falling to the front of his face.

You threw the empty plastic holding the cups in the trash and walked over to the register a wide smile pulling at your face. He was probably the only regular you enjoyed and you were thankful at how peaceful the shop had become so you could focus on your interaction.

“Hi Seonghwa! We doing your usual today?”

A small smile pulled at his lips as he exhaled a contented breath through his nose.

“Yeah, just the usual, but let’s do a large today.”

“Got some extra work tonight?”

“Yeah, you could say that.”

Punching in his order, you realized you weren’t logged in on the till so you took the liberty of giving him one of your markouts. Finishing typing in your numbers, he handed over his card. You waved your hand and frowned, declining his payment, and when his brow furrowed in confusion you spoke up.

“It’s on me today.”

You walked over to the cup caddy and began making his drink as he followed you over to the opposite side of the bar.

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“I know. But you’re in here basically every day. While I’m at it, you want a pastry?”

An airy laugh left him as you lidded his drink securing the cup with a sleeve.

“I’d love to, but not tonight.” “Alright, well, you let me know if you need anything. Besides that couple in the corner, you’ve pretty much got the night crew to yourself.”

Thanking you, he walked over to the table that might as well have his name engraved on it. It was tucked in the corner of the building right next to the front windows. You assumed he claimed the spot as his own because he had a view of who was coming in and out of the cafe at all times. Pulling out his laptop from his bag, you walked to the back to finish up with most of your closing tasks so you and your coworker wouldn’t have much to do when the clock stroked 9 p.m.

As you finished the last of the dishes, you peek your head out to the front checking to see if any last customers had straggled in. Realizing that Seonghwa was the only one left in the cafe, you decided that this would be your best shot to ask him what you’d been thinking about for weeks. Smoothing out your apron, you walked over to him suddenly feeling your nerves fire up. Seonghwa noticed you first and immediately figured you were coming over to tell him you had closed. Closing his laptop, he apologized as you approached.

“I’m sorry, I must’ve lost track of time. I’ll be out of your hair.”

You threw your hands out in front of you, silently trying to halt his actions.

“Oh, no no, w-we’re not closed yet. We still have about 15 minutes. I was actually coming over to ask you something.”

“Oh?”

Seonghwa raised his eyebrows and relaxed into his chair, he motioned for you to sit in the chair across the table. Taking a deep breath, you tried your best to swallow your anxiety realizing the gravity of what you were asking him. You were no longer abiding by the standard customer-employee interaction and were hoping desperately that you wouldn’t be overstepping a boundary.

His presence was just unexplainably intimidating. He held himself with such a poise you couldn’t even imagine what he would look or act like unhinged. There was never a thread out of place when it came to his appearance and only now were you aware of the fact that you were sitting across him in your dirtied apron, bleached stained pants, and the mural of coffee and whipped cream that painted your shoes.

Violently shushing the voices of panic in your head, you looked him in the eye and found the confidence that struck just moments prior.

“I hope this doesn’t come off as offensive or anything, but I run a blog about people who most might find strange and unusual and I interview them. Why they chose to subscribe to a certain type of style, what their influences are, if they have projects they’re working on, and everything in between.”

You watched him nod following along and waiting for you to continue. He was giving you his undivided attention and it excited you, to say the least.

“With that being said, I find you alluring in a way that I can’t seem to apply a reason to. Combined with the intimidating aura that you ooze naturally, I would love to have you featured on my blog next–if you would be comfortable with that.”

There was a faint smirk pulling at his lips and you couldn’t tell if it was coming from amusement or if he was planning on a way to humiliate you in a manner so sophisticated it would be hard to decipher if he was denying your request.

“So…you find me, intriguing?”

“Very. You’re like what I would imagine a modern vampire to be and it’s fascinating to me.”

You watched his body freeze for a moment, an austere gloss swiping across his eyes. If you blinked at the wrong time you would’ve missed it, but you caught it and it made the gears in your head begin to turn. Seonghwa’s eyes honed in on you, searching for an answer that he wasn’t quite sure of yet. There was a particular intensity that you hadn’t felt from him before and as he leaned forward, resting his head on his folded hands, you began to feel small in front of him for the very first time.

It was a feeling you’d never felt before. You almost felt similar to prey until his velvet voice cut through the static silence of lingering words.

“When are you free next?”

“I’m off tomorrow actually.”

“Does the evening work for you?”

“Perfect.”

“Alright.”

He agreed.

It took a moment to realize he so passively agreed to your interview. You honestly did not expect him to agree or let alone give you the time of day to explain yourself.

“I-I, uh, great! Um, can I borrow your phone so I can save my contact in there?”

Reaching into his pocket, he handed you his phone with such grace you wondered if he was human at all. Adding your contact quickly, you sent a text message to yourself so that you could save his number after the fact. His voice pulled you from your thoughts, you almost forgot he was sitting right across from you.

“I’ll send you my address tomorrow evening. I figure you’ll have more content to interview if I let you see my place of residence and you can really gauge my character.”

Standing up from the chair, you nodded and thanked him again, still aghast that he agreed so easily.

“I’ll be looking forward to your message.” You began to walk back towards the bar but stopped in your tracks.

“Would you like a refill before you head out?”

“No, I still have plenty in here, thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Seonghwa stood up, pushing his chair in and grabbing his bag. As he made his way to the front door you waved to him, a full grin plastered on your face. Once he turned the corner of the building, you locked the doors, 9 pm finally flashing across the clock.

Your coworker emerged from the back, drawers of money in her hands.

“Stevie gue-”

“-Did you lock the door?”

“Yup!”

Walking back over behind the counter you stood over your coworker.

“And you’ll never guess what happened.”

She hummed, looking up at you and giving you the go ahead to continue.

“So you know Seonghwa right?”

“The vampire regular?”

“Yeah yeah. So I was thinking to myself while I was cleaning how he’d be the perfect person to interview for my blog. I don’t know where, but I found the courage and asked him if he’d be willing to and he agreed.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“I’m being so serious.”

The gravity of the situation hit you again as Stevie screamed into her hand and a slew of explicatives left her mouth. Your mind started to wander as to why he agreed so quickly. Was he lonely? Did he find you attractive? Or was he simply just not as intimidating as you pegged him to be? Stevie pulled you from your thoughts as she finally calmed down.

“So when and where are you meeting?”

“Tomorrow night at his place. Speaking of which let me text him real quick.”

“You’re going to his house?!”

“He said that it would quote give me a better gauge of his character if I saw his place of residence.”

Stevie paused looking up at you with a growing smirk.

“That man is Dracula for sure. “Place of residence”, he has to be ancient.”

“Oh shut up. He could be 532 years old on top of it and I still wouldn’t think twice about it. He’s so hot it’s easy to let the quirks slide by.”

Walking over to tear down the espresso bar you were using, Stevie was in a fit of giggles.

“An old ass man breaking your dry spell is so you coded I hate it.”

You rolled your eyes and smiled as you dumped the espresso beans in their corresponding cubes before stacking them on the counter.

“Who says I’m gonna have sex with him?”

“Bitch if you don’t have sex with him I will slap you personally for being so stupid.”

Both of you erupted into a fit of laughs, and both of you reverted to your normally loud selves now that you were in the comfort of a closed store. Taking the few dishes left to the sink in the back, you peeked your head out yelling to Stevie.

“You cool if I finish the dishes and then I’ll help wipe down whatever you don’t have finished out here when I’m done?”

“Yeah, I kinda wanted to mop anyway.”

Smiling you walked back over to the sink and pulled out your phone to save Seonghwa’s contact to your phone. As you clicked done in the upper right hand corner, a message from him popped up in a banner on the top of your screen. When you clicked on it, it was his address, and at the end of the text, it was signed ~*Seonghwa.

As you were beginning to write back a grey bubble popped up, his text following soon after.

Seonghwa: Wasn’t sure if you had the chance to save my number to your contact list and didn’t want to leave any doubt that it wasn’t me texting you.

Y/N: no worries! i appreciate the clarity

Y/N: i also wanted to thank you again for agreeing to do this with me. i have so many questions

Seonghwa: Well, I hope you have plenty of paper or a recorder of some sort because I have quite the story to tell.

You felt butterflies flutter in your stomach, feeling utterly giddy that this astute man was texting back and forth with you. He seemed so untouchable and yet in this moment he seemed so much more lax than his typical personality. You hearted his last message and typed one last text before you began running the dishes.

Y/N: so excited to hear all of it :)

Shoving your phone back into your pocket, you threw the pieces of the espresso bar into the dishwasher and quickly hand washed all the pieces that couldn’t be tetrised into the washer. Grabbing a rag, you wiped down the dishes you hand washed and placed them in their respective places out on the bar. When the dishwasher beeped, you went back to open it so all the steam could be let out allowing the dishes to cool off while you wiped down the counter with Stevie in the front.

Satisfied with how the counter looked, you grabbed the last remaining pieces of the espresso bar and locked them in place in the bar. Putting the cleaning pills into the machine, you and Stevie did a once over of the store with your eyes. Nodding to each other, you took off your aprons and went to grab your stuff in the back of the store. Gathering all of your items, you and Stevie clocked out and walked to the front of the store.

As Stevie set the alarm for the building, she yelled over at you while you were waiting at the front door.

“Has he texted you yet?”

“Lol yeah, he has.”

The alarm beeped, signaling that it was clear for you to open the door, you held it open waiting for Stevie to come around the corner. As she locked the door, she turned around and looked at you motioning you to hand over your phone.

“It’s nothing serious, yet.”

“Oh, so you’re hopeful.”

Stevie wiggled her eyebrows at you making you giggle as she read over the quick interaction you had with him.

“He wants you so bad y/n/n.”

“You’re delusional.”

“Oh, so being delusional is only okay when we're miles away from the hot person now?”

“No, but-”

“-No buts.”

You smiled looking down at your feet trying to hide your excitement from your friend.

“Alright, well while you dream about Twilight for the rest of the night, I gotta get home to feed Ghost. I’m pretty sure she’s meowing her head off right now. Text me when you get home, okay?”

Stevie held up a finger gun as she began to walk to her car and you did the same thing as you walked to yours.

“I will.”

Getting in your car, you took a decompressing breath releasing all the burdens from the day at work. As you turned your car on, you knew your mind would be clouded with thoughts of Seonghwa and what you were gonna prepare for him.

The drive home felt more like a teleportation home but nonetheless, you were glad to be facing your building. As you got out of your car, you felt that instant dread that you’d been feeling for weeks now. It was always a sudden feeling but you couldn’t ignore it. With the defensive instinct of hunted prey cascading your nerves, you looked around the parking lot near your apartment and noticed nothing out of the ordinary. You just couldn’t shake this feeling.

Silently grateful that one of the closer parking spaces was open, you locked your car and briskly walked towards your building. Running up the stairs when the feeling of panic that something maniacal was behind you washed over you again. When you reached the top of your stairs, you placed your back against the wall looking out across the different buildings, and still nothing seemed wrong.

Taking a deep breath, you shook your head and opened the door to your apartment. Walking in, you quickly shut the door behind you, finally feeling safe within the walls of your home. When you clicked your lock shut, your dog, Jasper, ran to you from your bedroom. Seeing him eased your shaken nerves, but only momentarily before he was distracted by something.

His happy tail lowered and tucked between his back legs as low growls echoed through him. Slowly, he stalked over to your window and looked out toward the other buildings in the complex. Your blinds open just enough so that a small amount of the streetlight could peek through.

Not wanting to think about whatever was on your tail anymore this evening, you walked over and shut the blinds completely so that neither Jasper nor you could see out the window. Grabbing the remote to your TV, you put on something random just to have background noise so you wouldn’t have to wrestle with the silence. Putting down some food for Jasper, you made yourself a quick dinner so you could begin drafting your questions for tomorrow.

A half an hour soon turned into a full hour, then that one hour quickly became two and when you finally looked at your phone again it was 1 am. Satisfied with what you came up with, you closed your notebook and got yourself ready for bed. Finishing your routine, you checked your front door to make sure it was locked. A pit of worried confusion settled in your stomach as you noticed your top lock was left unchained. As you tried to reason with yourself you settled confidently on the fact that you probably just forgot when you rushed inside. Besides, the main lock was still set in place.

You called for Jasper and opened the door to your balcony so he could use the bathroom one last time. While you were outside, you didn’t feel that oppressive feeling but you still felt like you had eyes on you and Jasper confirmed your suspicions as his tail tucked again and he stared into the distance. Fear began to freeze your body again and you wanted to get back inside as soon as possible.

“C’mon bud, let’s go to bed.”

Jasper shook his head, his collar jingling in the night air. Walking inside, you locked the balcony door and shut off all the lights in the main area of your apartment. Calling for Jasper to follow you to bed, you laid out all your blankets before patting the mattress to signal him to come up. You turned on your LED lights, needing some sort of light to quell your nerves about how you’d been feeling since you got home. The deep purple, shining a tone similar to a black light only lit up a corner of your room. It was just enough to provide you with comfort and the promise of sleep started weighing on your eyes.

The weight of Jasper on your sheets calmed you down and slowly sleep overcame your body. Your last thought before drifting off was not about the anxiety you felt but rather the excitement for the solo time you were going to have with Seonghwa. If only you could’ve discerned that the anxiety you felt was also courtesy of the man you were bewitched by.

~`*`~

Your body felt like it was made of stone. You’d never felt pressure like this before let alone right out of sleep. Your eyes slowly pried open and the comfort that normally showered your room was nowhere to be felt. You tried to move your limbs, but as you made the conscious effort to move them, they stayed restrained in place. Stuck, as if they were chained to the mattress.

As you tried to roll your body over off of its back, you realized that dead weight feeling was possessing your entire body. You were paralyzed, trammeled to what was once the solace of your bed. There was a damning pressure on your chest and it was beginning to feel like you couldn't breathe. Any breath that you could’ve caught was now lost to terror as you realized you could only move your eyes. As you scanned your room, you noticed Jasper standing on the bed, low growls escaping him as he pointed to a corner in your bedroom.

As you followed his stance your eyes met a tall, statuesque figure standing in the corner of your room, its presence was boring into you. If you could see its eyes, you’d imagine they’d be all black, a harrowing intent lying behind them. The figure's energy felt familiar but the terror of the unknown overshadowed your reason. Fear tingled your body and you wondered if anybody would be able to help you.

Your mind raced, wondering if this was a twisted realistic dream or if you were about to meet an early demise. The figure barely seemed to move, let alone breathe, but the energy radiating from it was horrifying. You felt like you could faintly see a smile forming where its face was. You tried to scream, but it felt like your mouth was sewn shut. Not sound or even a fraction of the movement of the scream escaped your body and it left you feeling hopeless.

Closing your eyes, you hoped that maybe you’d be able to force your body back to sleep and whatever that thing was would dissipate into thin air the same way it appeared. A tingling feeling slowly raced through your body and you felt your limbs become your own again. Opening your eyes back up, nothing was standing in the corner anymore and that hot, oppressive feeling that was clawing at the room had faded.

Jasper curled himself back onto your bed seemingly calmed down enough to go back to sleep. You couldn’t ignore the steady racing of your heart while you kept your dark lights illuminating the room. You were subconsciously just waiting for something else to appear. Grabbing the remote to your lights, you switched the color to a soft white, needing to have some sort of brightness to allow you to feel safe in your room again.

~`*`~

As you tossed and turned, the hours quickly ticked by and the once navy sky peeking through your window was now turning into a canvas of pale blues and greys. An unmistakable gloom casting over the early morning sky. You couldn’t even force yourself back to sleep, the anxiety you felt being too great to even think about sleep. Every time you closed your eyes it felt like heat was bearing down in your room, an unseen presence feeling disrespected that you would dare to ignore it.

Sighing, you sat up in your bed and reached over to your blinds to open them a little bit more, allowing more natural light to brighten your room. For some reason, you felt that if you had nature’s light spill into your room, whatever anxiety you felt would dissipate enough for you to get some type of sleep. Checking your phone, the time flashed 7:32 and you were satisfied enough with the amount of light that was coming through. With Jasper tucked into your legs, you found a comfortable enough position and felt your mind relax enough so that you could will yourself to sleep.

When you woke up again, it was still overcast and everything was just a bright grey color. It was oddly eerie. Some wind picked up out of nowhere and coupled with the melancholic tone of the weather already, you felt like you were in your own personal thriller. You just hoped that nothing else out of the ordinary was going to happen today. When you checked your phone and it flashed 12:52, you were pleased that you at least got some sleep. Scrolling through your notifications, you saw you had a few texts from Stevie.

steviee: share your location with me before you forget

steviee: cuz i know you'll end up at his house and then i won't know where you are

steviee: i know i have the address but what if you go somewhere else

steviee: r u asleep still what's goin on

You chuckled at your phone, your friend never failing to make you laugh when you needed it. It almost made you forget about the panic you had felt all night.

y/n: yeah i just woke up sorry

y/n: i had fuckin sleep paralysis and couldn't go to sleep until it was light outside smh

y/n: location should be shared now btw

steviee: damn, did you see the hat man?

Stevie hearted your message saying you shared your location and her text about seeing “the hat man” brought you some needed joy. Having someone to be able to joke about the whole ordeal of last night made it seem not so terrifying.

y/n: i literally couldn’t tell you who it was all i know is that it scared tf outta me

steviee: right..right

steviee: well, lemme know when u leave tn and good luck

y/n:tyy :3

Shutting your phone off, you decided you should probably start getting ready so you’d have enough time to get yourself together as well as grab anything extra you’d need for the interview. Getting up, you stared at your closet trying to come up with something that would be enticing but professional enough to not raise any flags. You couldn’t deny that you had a bit of a crush on Seonghwa, but it seemed like such a distant reality that you tried to not pay much attention to it.

You wanted to impress him though. He always looked so polished and you wanted him to feel as allured by you as you did him. The thought crossed your mind that anything you wore would be better than the work clothes he always saw you in, so you settled on something middle of the road. You threw a form fitting, black longsleeve, a black skirt, and your leather jacket on your bed and then sauntered into your bathroom to run through your routine.

Between your shower, and dancing in between songs while you did your makeup, it quickly became 4 pm. Getting dressed, you gazed over your appearance looking for any immediate imperfections you had to fix. When you found none, you sprayed your perfume, grabbed your shoes, and walked out into the main room of your apartment. Opening the door to your balcony, you let Jasper out while you set out some food for him, figuring that you’d be out fairly late with Seonghwa’s interview. Setting his bowls down, Jasper came prancing inside, rubbing up against your leg. As you locked the door, you showered him with affection and then grabbed your purse to make your way out.

You were leaving a little earlier than you expected, but you needed to get a new notebook for Seonghwa and you wanted to grab something to eat beforehand. Every new interview you did with someone, you wanted to grant them their own notebook, making the experience feel more personal to each individual. You had a growing collection piled in your room and you were plenty excited to add another. Looking back over your apartment to make sure you didn’t forget anything, you looked at Jasper.

“Be a good boy and watch the house, baby.”

You flicked on the light so he wouldn’t be left in the dark and you made your way out of your apartment. When you stepped out the door though, your foot landed on something else other than the concrete. When you looked down, there was a leather bound journal with gold embellishments on the spine. You picked it up, inspecting it, and to your surprise, it seemed brand new. You wondered if it was maybe a misplaced delivery, but there was no package sticker on it.

Seeing it as a blessing in disguise, you stuffed the journal into your bag and walked down the steps to the parking lot. One less stop meant you’d be able to debrief with Stevie before you made your way to Seonghwa’s. Driving the memorized route you had for work, you got there fairly quickly with traffic having died down. When you got out of your car, the sun was slowly tucking itself behind the mountains, casting an angelic golden glow across the sky. Walking into your job, you were happy to see Stevie at the front so that you could get the free food you wanted without the hassle.

“What are you doing here?”

“Coming to get breakfast so I don’t pass out in front of that man.”

“It’s literally five, babe.”

“And it’s still my breakfast.”

Grabbing a sandwich from the display case, you slid it across the counter gingerly and looked at Stevie your lips downturned and your eyebrow slightly raised.

“You want a drink?”

“No, just a water, if I have coffee I might actually shit myself.”

You waited on the wall closest to behind the counter and continued talking with your friend trying to calm your nerves. Every time you had a flicker of a thought about Seonghwa you felt your heart race. Stevie’s voice pulled you from your thoughts which you were thankful for because they were about to spiral again.

“If I didn’t know any better I’d think you’re going on a date.”

Panicked you looked down at your outfit and then back to Stevie.

“Why? Is this too much? Should I go change?”

Stevie laughed and it confused you, furthering the thoughts of you looking like a fool. The timer on the oven beeped and she put your sandwich in a bag and turned around to hand it to you.

“No, it’s not too much. Just wanted to see you squirm. You look hot.”

Your eyes lacked amusement, a deadpanned glare shot her way.

“Not funny.”

“You needed to loosen up, I could smell the tension on you the moment you walked in. Hopefully he fucks it out of you.”

“Stevie!”

She looked over her shoulder smiling at you as she walked back over to the register to help a customer. As you began to eat your sandwich, your phone vibrated in your front pocket. Pulling it out, your heart rate sped up reading that the notification was from Seonghwa.

Seonghwa: Good evening. I hope this message finds you well. I’m ready whenever you are.

Why does he talk like that?

You didn’t realize you had zoned out until your screen started to fade to black, your dazed reflection staring back at you. In your staggered panic, you gnawed away at your sandwich not even recognizing that you finished it until you went for a coherent bite and chomped on nothing but paper. Crumbling the bag and throwing it into the trash, you grabbed the water that Stevie left on the counter and almost got away with an Irish goodbye.

“Text me everything!”

“I will!”

You pushed out of the glass door and got back into your car. Digging through your bag, you searched for your lip products before you started the vehicle. Feeling that you had fretted over your appearance enough today, you threw everything back into your bag and loaded Seonghwa’s address into your phone.

You turned up your music, needing something to drown out the endless panic you were having now that you were actively making your way to his house. Your GPS said it was only about a ten minute drive from where you were so at the very least you were thankful to be close to an area you were familiar with. The further you drove the route to his house, the more you realized it was taking you in a similar direction to where you lived.

Passing your apartment complex, you began driving in an area that was visibly more prestigious and affluent. The few apartment complexes turned into luxury mansions and you could only imagine from the outside, the grandeur of what the homes looked like inside. Turning on one last residential street, you turned into a development that had a guarded gate.

“Hi, Y/n L/n for Seonghwa Park on 7772 Seraph Lane.”

“Alright. I need to scan your ID.”

The guard waited at your window as you rummaged in your bag for your wallet. Pulling out your ID, the man scanned the barcode and walked back into the small building. As he typed your info into the computer, he quickly printed out your guest pass.

“Seems like you were already in the system. Have a nice day.”

Thanking the man you tossed the pass up on the dashboard of your car. As you drove through the neighborhood, you took in how beautifully everything was maintained. The road you drove down was shrouded in willow oak trees, almost hiding the darkening sky. As you made one last right, you pulled up in front of his house. Or, mansion you suppose.

His front yard was well kept, a willow tree hanging on the lawn. The front of his home was imposing and you felt out of touch being in such an environment. His street was quiet, almost unnervingly quiet. There was no excess noise from any main road, and with nothing but a few cars adorning the driveways of the surrounding houses, you felt unusually small. Out of place. Stepping out of your car, you grabbed your bag and fixed yourself one last time in the reflection of your car door. Locking your car, you took a deep breath and walked up Seonghwa’s elaborate driveway finally clicking into a semi-professional mentality.

Ringing his doorbell, you waited patiently to see him on the other side. When you heard the lock of the door click out of place, one of the large, red oak double doors opened to reveal Seonghwa in one of the more relaxed outfits you’d ever seen him in. He was clad in black jeans, a mesh long sleeve draped across his upper half, and a pair of leather mules on his feet.

A wide smile spread across his face as his eyes met your own. A glint of sheer mirth expressed across his features.

“Y/n! So glad you made it, I hope it wasn’t too much of a hassle to find. Please, come in.”

Timidly bowing your head, a light chuckle left you as you stepped through the front door.

“Oh, it was no trouble! Me being in the system already made the guard situation a breeze.”

Closing the door behind you, you watched him as he began to speak again.

“I pray you didn’t find that alarming in any way, just wanted to lessen the amount of effort it would take to get beyond the gates.”

“Oh, I figured that was the reason. I appreciate you looking out for me.”

A gentle and pleased smile spread lightly across his lips, his eyes closing only for a moment before he continued being so hospitable.

“Can I get you anything to drink before we start?”

“Um, a water would be great.”

“Come.”

Seonghwa motioned his hand to follow you and as you trailed behind him you gazed at everything you could inside of his home. The ceilings were intimidatingly tall and his house was spotless, somehow more well put together than the man himself. He had macabre and abstract artwork and busts decorated his walls and some end tables. The hallway to the kitchen seemed so far away from the front door, but when you entered the room you were left in even more awe.

“You have a beautiful home, Hwa–Seonghwa! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“-It’s quite alright, y/n. You can call me Hwa if you’d like.”

Nodding silently, you swallowed your embarrassment. Sliding you a glass full of water, you thanked him and he motioned for you to follow him again. Walking through his home, you felt like when Belle trailed behind Beast when being led to her quarters for the first time. Everything your eyes landed on either looked ancient or worth a million dollars. The hallways were long and imposing and you wondered how he lived here all alone.

Maybe that’s something I’ll add to ask.

Approaching a white door at the end of the hallway with golden fixtures, he opened it and guided you into what you assumed to be his study. He had a table set up with chairs facing each other and he pulled your chair out as you entered the room with him. Seonghwa sat across from you, smoothing out his top as if he was being filmed on camera. Setting your bag on the table, you pulled out your phone opening up the voice memos to serve as your recorder and you pulled out the journal that you found at your front door.

Just like last night, there was a glint in Seonghwa’s eyes that you would’ve missed if you didn’t look at the right time. You barely furrowed your eyebrows, not trying to draw attention to something so small. He had a microscopic smirk pulling at the side of his mouth, almost like he was trying to hide a smile from forming. Taking a deep breath, you looked up at Seonghwa, that glint now gone and substituted with his usual stoic gaze.

“Ready?”

“Indeed.”

Pressing record on your phone, you opened up to the first page of the journal massaging the page so that the spine would bend to your liking. Going to fish in your bag for a pen, you realize it was the one thing that you forgot. Sighing you looked to Seonghwa.

“You wouldn't happen to have a pen would you?”

“As a matter of fact, I do.”

Getting up, Seonghwa walked to another desk in the room that was accompanied by a computer. Walking back over to where you were, he handed you a black and gold fountain pen that had the same exact markings that were detailed on the spine of the journal you picked up. Hesitant, you took the pen from him, your brows still furrowed as you looked at him to thank him. There was a cold, obsessive tone to his gaze as he watched you inspect the markings on the pen.

“The same markings are on this journal that I found left outside my apartment today! That’s so weird. Kinda cool, but still weird.”

A little extra air escaped his nose as he looked at you with amusement.

“How peculiar.”

You felt your gut stir in anxiety for a moment but swallowed the feeling as quickly as it came. Blaming it on the fact that you had finally started the interview, and you didn’t want to make a fool of yourself. Surely, he hadn’t left the journal, he didn’t even have a fraction of an idea of where you lived. A fiendish levity was cast upon his face when you looked up at him again, settling in to ask him the first question.

His gaze was heavy. Unwavering as it seemed he was creating a mental image of this moment to save forever and needed to capture every minor detail.

“So, what drew you to a town like this?”

~`*`~

taglist: @bellamuerte1987 @seonghwasstar

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