i didn't come here to make friends//we were born to be sub-urban legends
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like yeah of course tom thinks shiv is a scorpion because he doesn't know she compromised her position and sacrificed her brother so he wouldn't go to prison. he doesn't know she refused to divulge any information about cruises to gil in season 1 before she was certain tom would walk away unscathed. he doesn't know she shut down her brothers' offer to fire him, doesn't know she ensured he'd have a place in the company post-acquisition, doesn't know that the first time she indelicately interrogated matsson about whether she'd have any power and influence at waystar gojo was literally immediately after matsson brought up the idea of firing tom. and it's her fault he doesn't know that she's protected him at nearly every turn because she won't tell him. and it's looking more likely with every passing episode that he'll never know 😔🔫
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Have you heard of the "Crowley is Malleus' dad" theory going around? Where Prince Levan (or whatever his name is) didn't actually die and just went out to get some milk and is now known as Dire Crowley, the silly man? The implications of that theory is absolutely hilarious when you think about it
hold on, we can figure this out, we just need LISTS
PROS THAT CROWLEY IS SECRETLY REVAAN/LEVAN/LAVERNE/WHATEVER:
unspecified fae of some kind, with similar coloring to Mal
the animal masks are apparently a Briar Valley thing
has some kind of big blackmailable secret that was alluded to in episode 4, and then as far as I know never brought up again
(unless this was just Azul bullshitting, which is extremely possible)
based on Diablo, which...maybe means something?
has canonically worn Dad Shorts
CONS:
(gestures to Crowley's entire personality)
NO LISTEN Revaan was the guy they sent off on diplomatic missions and to take care of delicate political situations, and...look, I love this dweeb, but would you trust Crowley to be in charge of negotiating your war treaties
despite my brain insisting on reading his name as "Raven", Revaan's title does imply that he was also a dragon (or super into longan berries, I'm not ruling that out)
currently unclear why Lilia "my closest friend Revaan...he is no longer with us...I used to make fun of him for being kind of a priss about eating jerky..." Vanrouge has somehow not noticed or said anything
Malleus' Aloof Anime ~Aristocrat~ vibe had to come from somewhere, and by all accounts it was NOT his mom's side of the family
???:
turns into a bird in the opening, I don't know if that means anything but it's kinda cool, I guess
all that aside, if Malleus and Yuu are any indication, then the Draconias have...questionable taste in their social choices. so anything is possible!
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