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onelostgirl · 4 years

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14. Just Me

Miya Atsumu x (f) smau

Y/N’s eyes shot back and forth like a pinball as she watched Cat talk to Osamu like they had been friends forever. She knew that Cat had introduced herself to him a few weeks back right around the time they had eaten at his restaurant with Tooru but she hadn’t expected them to be this chummy.

“It’s a bit weird ain’t it?” She heard a voice say as she looked over to the blonde man beside her.

They had just finished prepping the photo booth and way ahead of schedule thanks to the surprising entrance of the Miya twins, more than 5 hours earlier than their shift to be exact.

“Well I guess not considering how friendly Cat is, she seemed to get along with you too earlier.” Y/N replied as Atsumu glanced over to her shooting his signature smirk that Y/N had to mentally fight reacting to.

“Guess the ladies have a hard time fightin’ their inner desires when it comes ta me.”

Y/N scoffed then looked at the blonde setter, “Oh you were serious.”

“Yeh yeh play as hard as ya want ya know I’m right.” He said waving his hand in a casual gesture as Y/N laughed at him earning her a joking glare from the setter.

“So how’s my choco goin’?” He asked as Y/N head shot up, she had actually planned to get them when she went back home to change before the event.

“Don’t worry I bought you the cheapest but tastiest one.”

“Ay, that ain’t the deal.”

“Why would it matter anyway, you’re probably not even going to recognize mine anyway.” Y/N stated trying to brush off the feeling of annoyance at his desire for sweets when he would be knee deep in the by the end of the night.

“I’d know if it was from ya.”

Y/N glances slowly up to Atsumu who had an unexpectedly serious expression. They stated at eachother for what felt like forever though they didn’t really know what was happening between those unspoken moments but something was definitely happening.

“Hey Atsumu is it true that Osamu kicked your butt at field day every year in high school?”

Cat’s voice broke through whatever was happening as Y/N looked away quickly.

“Samu why ya lyin’ ya know I owned ya!” Atsumu shouted back making his way to the pair cleaning up a ways from them.

That just left Y/N to think about what had just happened and that those chocolate eyes she stared into was something deeper than she was ready to take on.

“So is your brother single?” Cat threw out as Osamu was getting ready for his photo shoot shift.

He didn’t know that agreeing to this stupid thing for Tsumu would have brought him to the exact person he was thinking of. He was extremely surprised that the same girl he met knew his brother’s team manager.

He had yet to get her number as Atsumu was teasing him about since they got there and he recognized her. Introducing them went smoothly with a narrow escape of awkwardness thanks to his jamming an elbow into Atsumu’s ribs before he could say the milf comment he was biting back.

But what was with this sudden interest with his brother - she couldn’t be into him right?

“Don’t you think they make a cute couple?” Cat stared as Osamu’s thoughts were interrupted as he looked in the direction that she was talking about.

His eyes caught the scene that she was referring to as Atsumu said something that earned him a scolding smack over the head by Y/N. She looked like she was doing her best to be serious but at one word she laughed along with the blonde beside her.

He had to admit he hadn’t seen his brother genuinely enjoying himself off the court anyway. Not since everything that happened with Hayami.

He assumed the same could be said about Y/N because Cat seemed extremely interested in how they were interacting.

“Guessin’ she ain’t always like that.” He stated as Cat looked over to him, almost forgetting how attractive the man beside her was. But how she hadn’t felt that attraction to the twin beside her best friend.

“Y/N’s a lot of things and definitely someone who could benefit from taking it easy every now and then.” She responded as the dark haired twin smirked at her.

“That prob’ly makes two of ya.”

She looked at Osamu with a curious expression, “What do you mean?”

“Well ya know cuz’ yer a mom yerself?” He replied in a whisper that Cat could barely hear him.

“I’m a what?”

“...a mom.” He said again not sure if that was the best way to bring it up.

He really didn’t know how to address it but he felt that she should know he was interested in getting to know her regardless of the situation.

Osamu didn’t look at her just yet not sure what face she would make, maybe she would be offended or insulted he brought it up without her initiating that serious of a conversation.

“I’m a mom? Why in the world would you...” she replied as it dawned on her then that he had first saw her with Yuto. A young kid who she loved very dearly but was also not hers.

“But the kid..” Osamu began but was stopped by Cat’s hand moving up gesturing him to stop.

“He’s a relative of a very close friend of mine.” She explained but stopped there knowing it wasn’t her place to say who exactly he was especially when it was obvious that Y/N hadn’t mentioned anything to Atsumu.

“So yer not a mom then.”

“Not biologically, I have tons of kids though, I work at a daycare.”

“Yer a teacha?”

“Ding ding, looks like you’re not completely brainless then.”

Osamu shook his head how could he assume something like that and actually come out looking like he had the same intelligence as his brother.

“Well then how would ya feel ‘bout catchin’ a bite ta eat after all this?” He threw out not wanting to hold back any longer.

Cat looked up at him with a coy smile, “It’s about damn time you asked.”

By the time Y/N saw him he was surrounded by a hoard of girls. Despite this seeming like Atsumu’s natural habitat, anyone could tell he was politely trying to tell them to fck off.

She assumed this was from the constant bad reputation and hate he gained whenever he was -well his true self out in public. Many people enjoyed his athleticism and definitely his looks, his nasty personality though, wasn’t a real crowd pleaser.

“Listen ladies, thanks fer the goodies but I gotta go, gettin’ back ta the booth.” Y/N heard him say as he quickly ducked out of the crowd and made a quick exit choosing a banner displaying an elderly couple celebrating 50 years of marriage.

From where she was standing, he looked really ridiculous and strangely cute attempting to hide until she arrived.

As confident as he was on the court it was refreshing to know he had moments like this too.

“You going to hide here all night or?” Y/N stated as she watched Atsumu’s shoulders jump up high and he quickly turned back to her.

“Don’t do that-ya scared the sht outta me.”

Y/N bit back a laugh seeing Atsumu’s look of displeasure complete with arms folded together in a pouting motion.

“Let’s just get something to eat before you start getting more grumpy.”

“If ya knew I’d be grumpy why’d ya make me wait so long.”

“Let’s go princess.” Y/N teased as Atsumu followed her his dragging feet showing his displeasure with her comment.

“It can’t have been that bad!”

After getting something to eat, they had somehow spent sometime talking and were now discussing horrible Valentine stories. Atsumu had just finished telling her of when a girl who was crazy for Osamu had slapped him silly when she mistook him for his twin and wasn’t happy about him being on a date with another girl.

“Ya weren’t there Y/N, it was a nigh’mare, she was yellin’ at me even pulled the other chick’s hair. I would’ve laughed my ass off it wasn’t happenin’ ta me.” Atsumu added as Y/N began to laugh at the story and his over exaggerated gestures and expressions.

He really was a good story teller.

“I actually feel sorry for you-here you were trying to score one and something like that happened. Not sure if it’s rotten luck or bad karma.”

“Whaaa, I hav great karma!”

“Sure you do, especially for all those times you were beyond nasty about your serves.”

“That was high school.”

“You still do that!” Y/N teased as Atsumu turned to deny it but came up empty because she had a point.

“I ain’t that bad no more.”

“Haha, that sounds like something a kid would say.”

Atsumu turned to look at her, “Since ya think I’m actin’ like a kid, where’s mine?”

“You already have so many-why do you need this one too?”

“Because ya made it fer me.”

Y/N tried not to think of how his voice sounded when he said that but it was kind of difficult not to. She wanted to blame it on the fact that she hadn’t been on a date in years but maybe it was also because she was enjoying the attention Atsumu was giving to her.

Before spending time getting to know him, she just assumed he was a jerk but now she knew he was a jerk and so much more.

He made her laugh, like really laugh. Then there were times when his smile or even his stupid smirk or grin would tug lightly on her heartstrings. Or even the conversations that could be so random and average then suddenly deep and thoughtful.

So, she had made him chocolates, despite her better judgement, even when she was horrible at it and Yuto laughed at her attempts or spit out the really awful ones.

She pushed herself to make these chocolates because maybe she wanted to see wherever the heck this could go.

“I’ll wait all night if I gotta.” His statement rung through to her as Y/N looked up at him slightly glaring at him.

“If they don’t taste that good just- lie to me okay and say they were great.”

Y/N reached into her bag slowly pulling it out.

“I mean it, it’s probably really bad, and if it is don’t even eat them all, just throw it out.”

“Would ya just give ‘em here. Ya actin’ like I’m some nasty chef who’d spit it up on ya.”

Y/N reluctantly passed it to the blonde looking away trying to mask her embarrassment. Atsumu found this beyond amusing since she was acting like a real person and not just his manager or someone who’s job it was to care about him.

“Thank-” Atsumu began but a ringtone stopped him as he watched Y/N pull her phone out. He as about to say something when he saw her politely put up her hand gesturing for him to wait.

“Yes this is she...”

“...is everything okay?”

“...oh...no that’s fine, I’ll be right over.”

As quickly as the call came it ended as Y/N put her phone back into her bag. Atsumu was waiting for her to say something but from her distant eyes and silence he assumed it was personal.

“Er everythin’ alrifht Y/N?”

His question stayed in the air between them for longer than he expected it was like she hadn’t even heard him.

“Yo, Y/N ya good?” He asked again this time waving his hand in front of her face snapping her back to reality.

“Oh yeah, I just got to take care of something.”

Atsumu watched as she began walking rather quickly in the direction of their booth.

“Did somethin’ happen? Ya got to go somewhere?” He continued to ask as Y/N distracted responses began to unsettle his stomach for some reason.

“Yeah nothing so serious-just got to let everyone know I need to leave.”

“Oh well, did ya need a ride? I don’t mind takin’ ya.” Atsumu offered as Y/N stopped and looked up to him, her eyes somewhat guarded.

“You don’t have to do that.”

“...well maybe I wanna make sure yer good.” He replied as Y/N’s lips tightened as though she was thinking of what to say.

“I guess that would be nice.”

“Ya sure got a way with words.”

Y/N tried not to smile at his teasing tone but Atsumu caught it ever so slightly. She didn’t realize he too, had a small smile on his face.

Bonus: Cat and Y/N’s outfits for the day (taken at the MSBY Valentines Booth)

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Author’s note: Hi everyone! Sorry for the late upload had some trouble conveying this chapter but hope you enjoy it. Please stay tuned for the next update and continue to shower Love Loop with your beautiful support and love. Taglist is still open (:

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#atsumu x reader #haikyuu smau #haikyuu!!#haikyuu social media #haikyuu x reader #miya atsumu #miya atsumu x reader #onelostgirl love loop #atsumu miya #atsumu smau

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lovemesomerafael · 5 years

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El Amor Todo Lo Puede Chapter 32: All In

Source: @barbaoutfits

Chapters 1-31

The hotel ballroom was crowded with people wearing expensive suits and cocktail dresses. Drinks were flowing as they always do at a professional function with an open bar.

Rollins leaned over to mutter into Laura’s ear. “Don’t look now, but Mr. Tall, Dark, and $2,500 shoes is checking you out.”

Laura rolled her eyes. “Staring like a dog in heat. How romantic,” she quietly responded. They turned back to the conversation of the group they were standing with.

“Look, all I’m saying is that judge was wrong. Our search was legit,” Carisi was saying.

The woman next to him took the bait, and they were off on a debate of the 4th Amendment in which neither Rollins nor Laura had any interest.

Laura sighed. “Has it been an hour? Can we go now?”

“Thirty-five minutes.”

“That’s it. I’m calling the ACLU. There has to be an exception to mandatory work events for people who can’t drink. Because alcohol is the only possible way to survive these things.”

“Lemme tell you, it’s not helping that much,” Rollins responded drily. “We could network, I guess. Kill some time. Maybe enhance our careers.”

“Uh-huh. Cuz I’m just dying to become a white-shirt. Can you see me in those administration meetings? I’d have Dodds in a chokehold and be banging his head against the conference table in about five minutes.”

Rollins held up her empty glass. “Well, I hate to do this to you, Parker, but I’m going to get a refill.”

As Amanda moved off toward the bar, the man who had been openly admiring Laura walked over.

“I’m Adam Watson, new head of Public Affairs at One PP.” He held out his hand, and she shook it. “I’ve been in NYC for two weeks now and the only people I’ve met are old men. I decided to introduce myself to you so that I can say I know at least one beautiful woman in the city. Help a guy out?”

“Hmmmm.” Laura took a sip of her drink. “Not terrible, but a little on the cheesy side. Also, just bordering on sexist. Wanna try again?”

He laughed. He did have a very nice smile, and nice laugh lines at the corners of his blue eyes. “Uh… how about simply, ‘Hi, I’m Adam Watson?”

“Better.” She said, and shook his hand again. “Detective Laura Parker, SVU.”

“Ah.” He nodded. “So, basically the exact wrong person to try that line on.”

“Basically. But I’ll overlook it because I know like five people in this room, and they’ve all deserted me.”

“You’ve got me beat. I think I know three. Mind you, I’ve been introduced to probably 50% of the people here, but I’ve already forgotten all of their names, and I’m going to be expected to recognize them when I see them again.”

Laura laughed. “You mean I’m not the only one who doesn’t want to be here?”

“Detective, 95% of the people in this room don’t want to be here.”

She laughed. “Well,” she said, clinking her glass with his. “Misery does love company.”

He moved closer to her, encroaching slightly on her personal space, but he didn’t touch her. “Looks like you could use a fresh drink. Can I buy you a refill?”

“At an open bar. Chivalrous.” They both chuckled sociably as they turned toward the bar area.

There was a mass of people crowded around the bar, jostling and trying to catch the attention of one of the bartenders. “Stay here,” Adam told Laura as they approached the edge of the crowd. “I’ll take on the mob. What are you drinking?”

“Pellegrino with lime.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Well, that’s no good. Sparkling water isn’t going to soften the edges of this command performance, is it? I’ll see what I can do.”

“No, thanks. Pellegrino is perfect.”

He winked at her and waded into to the melee around the bar.

A soft but scornful voice beside Laura’s ear said, “You do realize that wink means ‘I’m not listening to you, I’ll never get you back to my place if you’re sober’?”

She turned her head to grin at Rafael. “Cynic. 20 bucks says he comes back with Pellegrino.”

“50 says he comes back with whiskey.”

“You’re on.”

They turned to face one another. “Man, I’m glad to see you. Liv is requiring all of us to show the flag for at least an hour. I’m only forty minutes in and I already want to slit my wrists. Twenty more and I might end up starting a fistfight, just for something to do with my hands.”

Rafael laughed, smiling at her in a way that sent hot shivers through her. “Promise you’ll give me a heads up so I can get a good seat. And if you’re taking requests, may I suggest Rita Calhoun could use a good ass-kicking?”

“Uh-oh. What’d she win now?”

“I don’t want to talk about it. I’d rather talk about how pretty you look tonight.”

Rafael actually thought she looked better than pretty. Stunning was closer to the mark. The simplicity of her black dress accentuated her curves, and the low-cut back showed enough skin to make Rafael’s hands itch to caress her. The dress was exactly long enough to be appropriate, and not one millimeter longer. He had seen her from across the room and admired her legs as she walked with that yahoo in a cheap suit now getting her a drink.

“Thank you. You’re just not used to seeing me in drag, is all.”

“Tonterías.[1] I have excellent taste. If I say you look great, you do.”

“You look even better than usual, yourself,” she replied, a little shyly. The suit he was wearing, one she’d never seen before, was a beautiful worsted wool featuring a green stripe that made his eyes even more dazzling.

At that moment, Adam Watson returned, holding a small tray over the heads of the crowd. When he brought it down, Laura and Rafael saw that he had, indeed, brought her sparkling water. He had also brought two shots of tequila.

“Here you go,” he announced. “Pellegrino for your thirst, and tequila for the pain.” He looked quite proud of himself.

Laura looked at Rafael and saw the smirk she knew he would be wearing. But it was tinged with something unpleasant. “Laura,” he said, “You don’t drink, do you?” There was an edge to his voice.

“No, I don’t.”

“Do you mind?”

“Not at all.”

Rafael picked up the shot and tossed it back without bothering with the salt and lime on the tray. “Thanks, guy,” he said to Adam with an obviously fake smile. He put an arm possessively around Laura’s waist and steered her past Adam Watson.

He led her to a table about halfway across the room. “You owe me 50 bucks.”

“Technically, I don’t. You said he’d bring whiskey. But you do owe me 20, because I said he’d bring Pellegrino. Which, by the way, I didn’t get to drink before you whisked me away like the Secret Service.”

“I’ll buy you a case. Who is that slimeball?”

“New head of PR at One PP. Which means both of us are probably going to regret what you just did.”

“I doubt that very much,” Rafael snarled.

Laura squinted at him. “You OK? He’s just some flirty dude at a cocktail party. Why aren’t we just making fun of him?”

“I’m surprised you’re not more annoyed. Guy tries to force alcohol on you…”

“That might be a little overdramatic. C’mon, you know I can handle him.”

“Knock yourself out,” Rafael snapped. “I was just trying to do a good deed.”

“And you did. Thank you. But it wasn’t necessary.”

“Yeah. Whatever.” He tossed back the rest of his drink. “Then you’re on your own. You can probably still get that Pellegrino.”

As she watched him stalk off across the room, Laura wondered whether the motion he’d lost to Rita Calhoun today had gotten under Rafael’s skin, or whether this was an extension of the feelings he’d been having a few nights before. She made a mental note to call him when she got home and ask if he wanted to talk about it.

She turned around to look for a familiar face in the crowd, and almost immediately caught Adam Watson’s eye again. He was looking at her, and still held her drink. He raised it up to her in invitation. Not wanting to be rude, she walked over.

“Thank you,” she said. “Sorry about that. He’s um, protective of my sobriety.”

Adam ignored the mention of Rafael as though he didn’t exist. “Sobriety, huh? Good for you. How long?”

“Over eight years now. But you don’t want to talk about that.”

He again stepped just a little too close. “Actually, I’d enjoy talking about you. Let’s go see if we can find a quiet table where we can do that, shall we?”

Laura would rather not. His manner was a little oily for her, and she had no intention of sharing any kind of personal information with the new head of Pubic Affairs for NYPD. “I have a better idea. Why don’t we see if we can find the rest of my squad? They’re here somewhere, and…”

“Please, don’t make me meet any more people whose names I won’t remember.” He smiled down at her, putting an arm around her shoulders and pulling her toward a table. “Besides, I’m sure they can’t be as beautiful as you. I’d rather spend some time getting to know each other.”

She mentally rolled her eyes and decided she was going to have to find a way to extricate herself gracefully from this situation. This guy was definitely sleazy, but neither she nor her SVU colleagues needed the new brass to start out with a grudge. She let him lead her – drive her, really – toward a table. Seriously, he was good looking, she guessed, but did women really respond to this bulldozer treatment?

He pulled his chair too close to hers and leaned in, touching her hand. She could smell some kind of spicy aftershave and something else – maybe a hair product. He put his face in front of hers and looked her square in the eye. “So. Who is Detective Laura Parker, hmmmm?” She almost laughed.

Laura caught Rafael glowering at them from across the room, and knew she would have to explain at some point how this had happened. She spent the next twenty awkward minutes trying to back away from Adam Watson, and out of the conversation. She realized that he was not only obnoxious but actually fairly drunk. Her patience ran out when he put a hand behind her head and tried to pull her in for a kiss. “I have to tell you, Laura,” he breathed tequila into her face, “I haven’t been able to look away from you in that dress. The way it hugs your body and shows off those perfect tits –“

Laura pulled away from him, but he grabbed her wrists. “Listen, let’s get out of here. I have a town car waiting for me, and I’d like to get you in the back seat and lick -“ His speech ended in a high-pitched squeak as Laura took the fingers of his left hand into a very particular grip.

“Mr. Watson, you and I have to work together. And that means that you will speak to me with respect. I understand that you’re drunk, and I’m going to assume that you would never act this way under normal circumstances. I’ll forget this ever happened. But, if you ever talk to me like that again, I’m going to break your fingers one by one.” Her expression had been as hard as her words. Just as suddenly, however, she favored him with an overly-sweet smile as she dropped his hand. “With all due respect, of course.”

She didn’t wait for a response. She got up and walked rapidly away, immediately scanning the room for Rafael. She was looking forward to hearing him laugh when she told him what had just happened. The first familiar face she saw was a junior ADA who had handled a few motions and arraignments for SVU.

“Hey, Suneetha, have you seen ADA Barba?”

“Yeah, he left about 10 minutes ago. Looked like he was in a foul mood, too.”

“Thanks.”

What did that mean? Rafael couldn’t think… He knew her better than that. As soon as Adam Watson tried to give her a drink she had told him she didn’t want, any possibility of even friendship between them had ended. Rafael had to know that. Although, to be fair, he did have the right to be a little miffed that he had tried to rescue her from a jerk, only to see her head right back to said jerk. She had been planning to call Rafael anyway. She decided she would need to begin the call with an apology, or at least an explanation.

Fin signaled her from a stand-up table a few yards away, where he was chatting with some people – clearly cops – she didn’t know. She spent the next hour in a surprisingly pleasant conversation with them.

Fin dropped her at her building around midnight. She was exhausted from trying to act appropriately in front of the NYPD brass and city legal dignitaries at the event. She’d much rather have been with him, chasing some suspect down a crowded street. She was also a little concerned because she had texted Rafael and received no response.

From the street outside their building, she had seen that his lights were still on, so she assumed he was still up. Besides, they often texted each other late at night. As she waited for the elevator, she decided to try another text to see whether he would talk to her.

Laura: You left without saying goodbye.

10 minutes later, when she had dropped her coat and purse on the couch in her apartment, he still hadn’t responded.

Laura: If you’re not speaking to me, it really only works if I know that.

That got him to text back.

Rafael: It’s late. Go to bed.

Laura: I’m coming up.

He might have answered, but she didn’t wait to find out. She grabbed her keys and took the stairs to his apartment, still wearing the dress she’d worn to the cocktail party.

When she knocked quietly on his door, she initially heard nothing. Then, his muffled voice came through the door saying, “Use your key.” He didn’t add, “if you must,” but she heard it anyway.

He had changed his immaculate suit for a dark green polo shirt and jeans. He was in his kitchen, in the process of slamming dishes none too gently into the dishwasher. He looked up at her, but didn’t stop what he was doing.

“I don’t know why you’re here,” he told her. “It’s midnight. I am not mad at you, I left because I wanted to, and everything’s fine.”

“Uh-huh. And that’s why you’re doing your best to smash those plates to bits.”

“Really? You’re going to criticize my kitchen abilities at this point in the conversation?”

She stepped to him and put a hand on his arm. “Rafael. Please. I can’t stand it when you’re mad at me. Will you let me explain what happened at the party?”

Rafael sighed and turned toward Laura. “There’s no need. I’m not mad at you.”

For a moment, they just stood looking at one another.

“I threatened to break that PR guy’s fingers, you know. I shut him down, and I wasn’t nice about it.”

“Yeah, but why? What was the point, Laura?” He turned his back, resuming his noisy work.

“He was a dick.”

“OK, that guy’s a dick, but maybe the next guy won’t be.”

“Stop it, Rafael. There’s no ‘next guy’. I’m not having that conversation again.”

“Laura, you could do better than me. And that is a conversation I’m not having again.”

“I don’t want to do better. I want you. Deal with it.”

Rafael slammed the dishwasher shut. “I’ve been dealing with it! Look what you’ve done to my life! I was doing just fine until you showed up. Now I’ve got you texting me nonsense all day, you’re on my couch every night, I’m leaving work early when I could be getting things done, I’m tripping over your kicked-off shoes everywhere… I can’t think straight! I haven’t had a moment’s peace since the day I met you! So why don’t you do us both a favor and take ‘no’ for an answer?”

Laura’s shock showed plainly in her face. She stood, speechless, confusion and humiliation robbing her of her senses.

“Laura, I…”

“Stop.” She managed to choke out in a small voice. She put a hand on his arm and tried valiantly to paste a small smile on her face. “Please, you don’t have to say any more. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to… I can be… blind sometimes. I didn’t… I thought… I’m sorry. I really am. Good night.”

She straightened her spine and held her head high as she stepped, working furiously to maintain her dignity, out of his kitchen. Rafael thought he could actually feel the pieces of his heart tearing apart as she left the room.

He went after her. “Laura, no… Don’t go…”

“It’s late, I’ll see you at work,” she said, her voice beginning to break free of her control.

He reached her as she got to the door. As she tried to pull it open, he stepped behind her, reached his arm out past her and put a hand on it, keeping it closed. She stood, facing the door, in the small space between his body, the wall, and his arm.

“Please. Don’t go. I’m sorry…” Rafael spoke softly, his voice gruff, fighting with his own emotions. He moved his body just a bit closer to hers, testing to see whether she would tolerate his touch.

She felt immobilized by her own conflicting desires to flee from him in shame and to throw herself into his arms and beg him to love her. Without words to express any of that, all she could do was stand, forehead pressed against his apartment door, traitorous tears welling in her eyes and escaping to slide hotly down her face.

He risked another half step toward her, lowering his arm and wrapping it lightly around her waist. She could feel his face next to hers, his mouth just beside her ear. “Don’t leave me. Please,” he whispered, leaning his head on hers.

“I’m sorry f-for leaving my shoes here,” she choked, leaning just a bit back against him.

“Oh, God, Laura-“ He turned her to face him, placing a hand on either side of her tear-stained face. “Everything I just said was a lie. Do you have any idea what it does to me when I come home and I see those little holey tennis shoes next to my couch? They make it possible for me to start to believe you’re real.” He kissed her messily as she sniffled.

“I think about you all day long. I’ll be meeting with some asshole talking about unspeakable crimes and I’ll get a text from you with some stupid thing Carisi said, and I just want to start singing. I hardly ever stay late at work anymore because I can’t stand to be anywhere but where you are. And it scares the hell out of me. You know it does.”

“I know,” she sniffed. “It’s OK.”

“No. It’s not. I lost it just now because halfway is no good for either of us. I need to be in or out.”

Laura’s face lost all color except for flushed areas on her cheeks from crying. “Rafael, don’t-“

“Laura, I’m saying I’m in. The minute you started to walk out that door I knew I could never let you go. Who am I kidding? I’ve been in this whole time.”

Leaning down, Rafael tilted his face toward Laura’s, taking a long time to touch his lips to hers to let what he’d said sink in. When she tilted up to him and tightened her arms around him, he pressed his mouth more firmly to hers, deepening the soft, light kiss just a little.

“Are we OK?” He asked.

“We’re OK,” she whispered, moving to continue the kiss.

He began to kiss her more deeply then, pushing her gently back against the door. She returned his kisses with growing intensity, her arms winding around him as tightly as his around her. Soon they clung together, pressing their bodies together as though they couldn’t get close enough.

He realized, in some dim recess of his mind, that he wanted to move them somewhere other than this corner of his small, dark foyer. But he didn’t want to do anything to break the spell, anything that might make her change her mind and want to leave again. Only after a very long time, when he felt her relax against him and heard her begin to breathe soft moans of pleasure, did he take a step backward. He moved away from the door, tentatively pulling her with him while they kissed passionately, almost desperately.

He took his time, needing her to want to stay. It was working. She shivered as he ran his hands down her sides and the bare skin of her back in the low cut dress, her own hands enjoying the contours of his muscular shoulders and upper arms. He thought he felt her initiate a step then, and within minutes they were standing, locked together, a few feet inside his living room. He felt her hands move to his chest, sliding them slowly down his torso in a maddening caress. She stopped moving and drew in a sharp breath as she felt him effortlessly lower the zipper on the back of her dress. He ran his fingers lightly up the bare skin of her back from the bottom of the zipper to her neck. They both felt her skin break out in goosebumps. Such undeniable evidence that she was enjoying what he was doing ratcheted up his arousal a few more notches.

He kissed slowly down her jaw and began on her neck. When he heard her breathy moan, he slid his hands up her arms until he reached her shoulders, hooked his thumbs on the straps of her dress, and pushed them off her shoulders. As the straps slid down her arms, the dress slithered down her body, pooling on the floor.

“Smooth,” she breathed.

Rafael began with his hands on her hips and glided them slowly up her sides. “For half that damned party, I was working out how I could get this dress off of you.”

“I thought you liked my dress.”

“I like it even better now,” he said, leaning down to scoop her up in his arms.

He carried her easily into his bedroom and set her gently on the bed, then pulled off his shirt in one motion as she playfully kicked off her shoes and moved over to make room for him. He lay down on his side next to her with her arm behind him, and immediately reached over to pull her to him. They made quick work of his pants and her panties.

Immediately, she tried to pull him over on top of her. He chuckled down low as he kissed her, and stayed where he was, lying on his side. He propped his head up on one arm, placing his free hand on her shoulder and running it slowly down her chest, across her breast and stomach, to her hip. “Relax,” he murmured, dipping his head to give her a sweet kiss. “We have all night.” He took a very long time to simply look at her, drinking her in as she lay there next to him, entirely exposed to his eyes.

“’Ño, Laura, eres tan hermosa.”[2]

She found lying there, simply allowing him to admire her nude body, the most erotic thing they had done thus far. His eyes sparkled in the half-light, his expression hungry and appreciative. But she wasn’t going to be able to lie still for long. As he slid his hand back up to her breast, she couldn’t help but arch her back, pressing into his hand. Laura moaned and squirmed beneath him, feeling every touch of his hands and mouth like a jolt of lightning to her core. He cupped her breast, using his thumb to tease her achingly hard nipple as he leaned over to use his lips and tongue on her other breast. “Rafael…”

She tried to turn toward him. She wanted him inside her, now. He wasn’t having it.

“Shhhh… Just let me…”

“I want to touch you. You made me wait so long-”

“And I’m gonna make you wait even longer,” he said, kissing her fondly.

He used his hands and mouth to worship her breasts for so long that she could feel her wetness beginning to actually drip down the inside of her thigh. When he began to slide one hand down her side to her hip, he heard her breath catch. From the way she shifted her pelvis, he guessed his caress was having the intended effect. He slowed the movement of his hand, prolonging her anticipation.

Laura was becoming desperate. He was deliberately teasing her. Fuck, he was good with his hands, and his lips, and his tongue… She cried out as he finally ran a finger between her lower lips. He began a slow, thorough exploration with his fingers while he continued nuzzling her breasts. He smiled to himself as he felt her begin to move her hips and heard her whimper. He took his time teasing and caressing her with his fingers before finally, slowly slipping a finger into her. She cried out again. He began a maddeningly slow rhythm, sliding his finger deliciously in an out of her dripping passage, as he moved up to recapture her mouth with his. He relished her hungry response over prolonged minutes of deeply intimate kissing. She began to rock her hips wantonly, unable to control her moans, as he deliberately teased her with the tip of a second finger for long moments before giving in and sliding the second finger inside of her.

Finally, she couldn’t stay still any longer. She rolled toward him, throwing a leg over his. She kissed him, immediately taking control, exploring his lips and tongue with her own, while she reached down and ran her hand up first his leg, then slowly across his buttocks, before sliding it down his hip to caress his cock for the first time. His lips became nearly motionless as his entire attention became focused on what she was doing to him. His groan sent jolts of electricity through her. The idea that it was her causing Rafael Barba to make that noise was overwhelmingly exciting.

She had known, from their frustrating but delicious experiences on the couch, that his cock would be superb. Now, finally past the barriers of his clothing, she reveled in being able to see and fully touch him. She wanted everything all at once. She pushed herself up on one hand so that she could explore his chest with the other, stroking and nuzzling haphazardly in her excitement. When she bent down to lick the tip of his cock, the movement of her body made her intentions clear.

“Mi cariño,[3] you need to stop that,” he growled.

“And if I don’t?” She whispered wickedly.

He took her by the upper arms and guided her back up the bed, then rolled them over so that he was lying on top of her. “Then I won’t be able to do what I want to do to you.”

“You mean what I want you to do to me.”

She wrapped her arms and legs around him, laughing softly and moving her hips in a way he couldn’t resist. As he entered her, he groaned gruffly, “Eres una hechicera, ¿cómo tienes ese control sobre mí? Algún día podré decirte que no.”[4] She gasped in answer.

Neither of them were able to prolong things longer than a few minutes. Rafael was beyond thinking, overwhelmed by the sensations – both physical and emotional – he was feeling. He reveled in the hot wetness of Laura’s body gripping him as he moved in and out of her. Laura had already been impatient to feel him inside her, but the sheer ecstasy of Rafael’s size stretching and filling her exceeded even her expectations. He pushed into her, withdrawing almost completely, then joyfully entering her again. He wasn’t going to be able to last much longer, hearing Laura cry out her excitement and feeling her rock her hips in time with his pumping. Her arousal was his. He lifted up onto his elbows so that he could look down at her face. Seconds later, she cried out his name and arched her back. He wanted to stay with her through her orgasm, but that was more than he could take. She was still bucking and shaking as he felt his own overwhelming climax burst upon him.

Many minutes later, Laura felt him roll them over so that they were lying side by side, holding one another. She was too spent to open her eyes. She wasn’t sure whether she felt better physically, with all the endorphins and other hormones swirling through her, or mentally, knowing that she had just – finally - had mind-blowing sex with Rafael. It had been too fast, but she would take care of that in a little while.

Rafael cradled her to him. She felt him lift his shoulder to tip her head toward him and kiss her forehead. He held his lips to her face for some time, thinking that the smell of her shampoo would make him horny for the rest of his life. He found he was smiling to himself. Had it really been that long since he’d gotten laid, or was she really that special? He knew it was both. Go slow, my ass, he thought.

He felt much, much more than a blissful, post-sex haze. He tried to stay completely in the moment and think only about this woman he held, who had slipped so blithely past all his defenses. He cared far more for her than he wanted to, and he would much have preferred not to be that vulnerable. In his more confident moments, he reminded himself what they’d been through together and the complete trust he had in her as a result. But that was his body. This was his heart. Still, it was too late now. He had no choice but to trust her, because he knew, without a doubt, that he was in love with her.

“So that happened,” he finally managed to say, still trying to catch his breath.

“Holy shit,” she panted.

“Yeah.”

“When I regain the power of rational thought, I’ll try to form a sentence about how great that was. But for now…”

“Holy shit will do,” he chuckled, kissing her forehead through her hair.

“But, are you… OK?”

He replied in a more serious tone, and put a hand to her cheek. “I’m way better than OK. When we get under the covers, I’ll be perfect.”

“Now there’s a double meaning I really like the sound of.”

“Don’t end a sentence with a preposition.”

Laura sat up. “Seriously? At this moment, what you have to say to me is, ‘Don’t end a sentence with a preposition’? What is wrong with me? How am I naked with you right now?”

Laughing, they slipped between the crisp, cool sheets of his bed to cuddle together.

Rafael knew he was smiling in the dark like an idiot, and he couldn’t have cared less. Laura had her eyes closed, enjoying the sensory experience of breathing in Rafael’s scent, feeling his muscular shoulder under her cheek, running her fingers lightly over his chest to savor the softness of his chest hair.

She was dimly aware of a sense of awe underlying her post-coital bliss. He was so much more than she’d imagined – more tender, more skilled, more sensual and romantic. And they hadn’t even started.

They dozed together, sated and happy. Rafael woke a while later, distantly curious about what time it was, but didn’t have the energy or inclination to move enough to look at the clock. He felt Laura stir against him and heard her sigh happily. The idiotic smile was back on his face.

“Hypothetically, if I said you rocked my world tonight, how insufferable would you be about it?” Her voice was languid and dreamy, with a tinge of amusement.

“One to ten?” He asked. She loved the rumble of his voice in his chest under her ear as she snuggled into him.

“Sure.”

“Well, my baseline’s about an eight, so…”

She squeezed him as she laughed, kissing his chest, then lifted up so she could kiss his lips. She didn’t say anything, just looked at him with a satisfied smile.

“Ven aca,”[5] he whispered, sliding his hand up her bare back and pulling her to him. She kissed him back, deepening the kiss and running her hand over his chest. When she felt the kiss change, she slowly let her hand drift down his chest and abdomen, until her fingers lightly traced over his cock. She could feel the first stirrings of arousal in him, and tenderly fondled him while they kissed.

“I know that was fast before,” she murmured provocatively against his lips, “but what I lack in patience, I make up for in perseverance.” He thought he had never known a woman who challenged him so often to kiss and smile at the same time.

As he grew harder, she moved to kiss his jaw, then his neck, and shifted her body to scatter a long, meandering line of kisses and soft nips down his chest and abdomen.

He groaned again, low in his chest, when she took him into her mouth, softly exploring his balls with her fingers. The musk of him, and of their lovemaking, was intoxicating. He was soon grinding his hips and gulping air, moaning heatedly, which inspired her to do everything she could think of to pleasure him. She spent long minutes stroking him, sucking and licking him, following his movements and his cries to establish the rhythm he wanted. Fuck, it was hot to hear Rafael so undone, and to know that it was her giving him such gratification. When he began to fuck her mouth wantonly, she knew he was close. She continued to suck him, running her tongue up and down his shaft and around the head of his cock until a cry and a salty jet in the back of her throat told her that she had given him the pleasure she’d been aiming for. She paid close attention to him as he rode his orgasm to its completion, moving with him until she had drawn out the last shudders.

He was still breathing heavily as she crawled back to his side and cuddled up to him, throwing an arm and a leg over him as she kissed his chest. He fell asleep with his nose buried in her fragrant hair.

It took Laura a few blinks to realize where she was when she awoke. When she did, her stomach did a little flip and she scooted closer to where Rafael lay behind her with his arm over her. She felt him kiss the back of her hair.

“Hi,” she muttered.

He nuzzled the back of her neck. “Did I wake you?”

“I don’t think so. How come you’re awake?”

“I had a nice dream.”

“About?”

“About you. Turns out it was real.” She felt him chuckle behind her. It felt wonderful.

“I had the same dream. It was nice.” She turned over to face him and put her arm over him, pulling as close to him as she could.

“Laura…”

“Hmmm?”

He didn’t answer. She looked up.

“Rafa?”

“The waking up part is really nice, too.” He kissed her long and slow, and began to make love to her again.

[1] Nonsense

[2] Fuck, Laura, you’re so beautiful.

[3] My sweetheart

[4] You’re a sorceress. How do you have such control over me? Some day I’ll be able to say no to you.

[5] Come here.

#law & order svu #law & order: special victims unit #rafael barba #raul esparza #chicago pd #chicago fire #chicago med #chicago justice

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lovebarnowl · 5 years

Text

It’s been a long time, Nestlings.

Life’s been really hard on me. Perhaps that was a given, seeing how many posts leading up to my disappearance revolve around depression and suicide awareness. I wish I could say I always made the right choices, but sometimes all you have is the ability to make a choice and there is no right or wrong to it.

I want to make light of the struggles I’ve been in, but that’s probably due to still being steeped in them. A home falling apart around me, an oppressive darkness everywhere I go within it, and the absence of someone I loved dearly -- it’s a weight that burdens me.

Our home has water damage in multiple rooms causing multiple instances of black mold and mildew. My man and I vacated my bedroom a year ago and have been sleeping on the concrete floor of the living room. We had a terrible bed bug infestation, so we tossed all the furniture. We had a mouse problem, so we moved all of our foods into a giant plastic tub in the center of our kitchen floor. We now have roaches from when our new landlords moved in next door and can’t seem to stem the tide. We are in the process of escape. Put in applications for an apartment nearby and are waiting as patiently as we can in a building where it feels like I’m constantly struggling to breathe.

In the middle of all of this, my sweet kitty who had turned sixteen in March, was diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure. We spent money we didn’t have (thanks to the magic of a credit card) to have fluid drained from around his heart and lungs. They removed a quarter of a liter of fluid. For two nights, my sweet furbaby was able to breathe easy again. I was giving him medicine daily, as required, always on schedule. I sacrificed time with friends and moments of precious sleep to monitor him. I would have held out for years if need be -- just to make sure he was safe. Over the years, Mose has been one of the main things that tethers me to this world. A reason to wake up. A reason to keep on living. I raised him every year of his life from the bottle to the bier.

After day two, I noticed he began to stop sleeping curled up in a ball again. He began sleeping stretched out as long as possible. He didn’t purr unless I was nearby and giving him constant pets, but they were soft and distant. His eyes just staring ahead into the void. On day 4 I took him to the vet. He’d had a bad case of sniffles since they’d drained all the fluid from his chest, but the vet told me he sounded great. He was proud of how I’d been caring for him and said that I had the “hard job” of giving him medicines daily. To me, it wasn’t necessarily hard, just frustrating because I wanted him to take his medicines without causing him too much stress or discomfort. He enjoyed all of the extra gravy at every meal, that’s for sure.

Four days after that impromptu vet visit where I was told I was doing everything right and that he was doing well we had a really bad morning. 10am is the first pill of the day - it’s half of what is already a very small pill. It’s supposed to help him keep the fluid off by urinating more often and drinking more water. He hates it so much that I finally had succumbed the last two days to simply pilling him myself and then giving him his food afterwards. But this morning he struggles more than usual. I try to be gentle, not wanting to hurt his back legs (he was diagnosed with arthritis earlier in the year and had also managed to crush part of his back hips) but it’s difficult with the squirming on a slippery wooden floor. After a minute or so, I finally get him to actually swallow the pill and offer him his food. He walks away from it. Casually. Returns to his bedding. I follow after him, used to this behavior, and offer him the bowl again. This time he gets up and he staggers. Falls over. I drop the bowl and hesitantly reach for him as he gets up and begins staggering again, and now I can see his mouth is agape.

He’s struggling to breathe. To stand. He can’t seem to move his back legs so when he falls over again, his back legs stay perfectly stretched out and he urinates himself. I start calling for my father, reaching to stabilize Mose, and help him off the floor to see he’s also defecated on the floor. He falls over onto his bedding, breaths per minute through the roof -- too fast to count -- and drool pours out one side of his mouth as I grab the pet carrier and put it as close to him as I can. I know there’s 100% no way in hell he’ll be able to walk into it unaided, so I gingerly tug the blanket he’s on inside the carrier. It takes a couple of minutes, but I manage it. We drive pell mell to the Emergency Vet in empty Sunday streets until we hit the city. Boyfriend rushes out of work and meets us at the vet office and takes the news with me that the fluid has already built up again. They’ll need to redrain his chest and keep him overnight for observation. We ask for an itemized bill, already preparing to just throw the credit card at it and pray for the best. But, like most things in America, if you don’t have a surplus of tiny pieces of green paper, you don’t get the choice to live or to even try fighting what ails you. With a bill passed to us of 5,000$ it’s 68$ over the limit of his credit card: we have to make a choice. We can let him suffer at home until he finally suffocates or we can be merciful and have him put to sleep.

We’ve spent two hours sobbing. Mose is in the back in an oxygen tank to help him calm down and breathe. As we sit there fighting with unseen cosmic forces, I’m remembering the hectic drive where my hand is stretched into the cat carrier, caressing his cheek until twenty minutes have passed. He slowly comes back to himself and realizes he isn’t on the living room floor anymore. He gently rests his head on my hand as a sign of thanks, but I can tell he’s still not fairing very well. His breaths per minute, when I count them on the drive, are in the 50s. I whisper to him that he’s okay, not to worry, that I’ll take care of him. He gives me a very small lick and I take it to mean he understands. He trusts me.

So sitting here in the room, deciding his fate without being able to consult him, feels beyond cruel. Because I know my baby. He can fight this. I know if we could afford to give him the chance to fight, he would live another 2 years at least. I want to give him giant windows filled with sunshine like I promised him. When I told him I would take care of him, I didn’t mean by taking his ability to live away. I meant that he could come home and snuggle with me and purr and have more gravy and just be himself. But the obscene amount of money printed on the paper looms. It mocks. It isn’t even an amount that contains what we would need to have him viewed by a cardiologist after the tap -- for they say something else is at work in his body. The fluid drawn from him was unnaturally thick. Could have been cancer, but they would have needed to confirm.

We literally cannot. I tell my boyfriend I can’t physically say it. If we go this route, I cannot speak the words aloud. With a deep breath and heavy sigh, he agrees to shoulder the burden. We compose ourselves long enough to summon the vet assistant and he asks the question that shatters me. I fall apart, sobbing into my hands, while she calmly says she will bring in the information we need.

Thousands of dollars to save a life. Only under five hundred to end it. The price totaled out around 460$ and only was so high given that they’d had him in the oxygen tank for so long and given him a couple of shots to help him breathe. A manageable price, but it leaves one feeling like Judas with unclean hands filled with silver. They bring him wrapped loosely in a brown blanket for us to spend some time together. He buries his head into the folds of fabric, clearly enjoying the warmth, and we all laugh together at how precious he is.

As I stare into his sweet eyes once he’s peeked back out of the cloth, I feel my throat ache with unshed tears. I refuse to cry in this moment. I want these last minutes to be as pleasant as I can make them. I want to see his sweet twitchy-whiskers and boopable snoot without eyes clouded with sadness. The longer I gaze at him, the more I realize that this isn’t a cat ready to give up. He isn’t in a state of just lay down and die. The guilt is crippling. What if we took him somewhere else? Got a different opinion? Got a cheaper option? But it’s a Sunday. The only things available are emergency clinics with prices roughly all the same. And I can’t handle the idea of him suffocating. With all of my lung problems, the worst form of torture and pain to me is having your own lungs fail you. I cannot bear to let him endure that. Aside from my own lung collapsing, I have no earthly idea how much pain and discomfort he was in. I don’t even remember it collapsing. But on my worst days when I struggle to inhale even the smallest of breaths, I feel that I had a better chance of struggling through it than his little lungs.

I apologize to him in whispers. I tell him how much I love him. Over and over. I give him his favorite neck scritches and ear rubs. I pet his little murder mittens. I run my fingers over the areas of skin they’ve shaved only a week ago in order to safely remove the fluid in his chest. It’s barely begun growing back in. We hold him close and give him all the kisses in the world. He gives me one very small kitty kiss and I feel tears welling up that I command to go away. Not yet.

From the moment the vet assistant brought him in to us to the moment she injected the needle that put him into slumber, he purred. He purred nonstop. Loudly. All eight cylinders firing. He was a wonder. With a single injection, his head falls into my hand and he keeps purring. Perfectly snoozing without a care in the world cuz momma’s here with him and she promised he’d be alright. And I feel my heart just plummet through my chest, watching her lift that second syringe. Watching her check for a heartbeat afterwards after I already know. His head lies heavier in my hand than before. The purrs have slowly tapered off into silence. Before she even confirms it, I know he’s gone.

The tears are allowed to flow now. Hot and heavy and unceasing. We hold each other and try to restrain our anger in turn. I find myself unable to remove my hand from underneath his head -- remembering that I do this at home so that he can sleep better. It’s so hard for him to get decent sleep so I’ve become accustomed to not moving in order for him to do so. Boyfriend makes a call once he’s composed himself an hour later. His father answers and agrees to help him dig a grave.

As they take him back to package him for travel, the alarm on my phone goes off. 2pm. It’s time to give Mose his second pill. I stare blankly at the phone screen with a piercing ache in my chest. I’ve set the alarms to repeat forever. Boyfriend gently reaches out and asks if I want him to turn them off for me. I shake my head and do it myself, hands shaking, heart pounding -- already the routine comes to an end.

The rest is rather uneventful. Our bodies struggle to cope with the loss while trying to pass as normal human beings in the presence of someone who may not fully understand why we are suffering so much. It takes them a couple of hours to dig since the chosen spot happened to be primarily bedrock. While they toil in the heat, I find myself curled up in boyfriend’s old bed with the box open beside me. Stroking Mosey’s fur and weeping in the silence. I had longed to one day cuddle him in a bed again, but not like this...not this way.

It’s been two weeks today. The house feels lifeless in a whole new way. I find myself waking up and reaching to pet him only to have my hand fall through empty air. I miss him stretching out to touch my feet with his paws while I play video games beside him. I long to feel him lying next to me, purring like mad, snuggling in against my chest for warmth. I catch myself looking for him while I’m cooking -- always interested in what the humans were eating and waiting for the sniff I always grant him to prove that he doesn’t want the food we’re going to have. I staggered through the house groggily earlier today after sleeping too late with ten minutes to go until 2pm. My sleepy mind had forgotten his loss and all I could think was I needed to make sure he took his heart medicine on time. And as I stared at the empty space on the heating pad and the empty dining room window, the memory hit me. Oh. Just oh.

During the years I spent dealing with an abusive mother, my Mose was there. When I struggled to breathe during bouts of pneumonia, Mose would come check on me when my coughing was prolonged. Just a few weeks ago, I’d had a bad bout of depression where I couldn’t bring myself to leave the blanket nest on the floor. My sweet kitty made sure to sit closer to me, in the cold path of the fan, just to make sure I was fine. Normally, when morning comes, he’ll follow my boyfriend around the house as he gets ready for work, but during that week he refused to leave my side even if he gazed pleadingly at boyfriend to give him goodbye pets. As much as I looked out for him, he returned the favor every time. This sweet furbaby loved me. I was, in every sense, his momma.

I miss him terribly. There’s an ache that’s different than when I lost Thomas in 2008. Somehow more poignant, but I can’t quite place it. I lost my best friend. I lost my son. I lost my pet. I’ve grown up with cats my entire life and know almost everything there is to know, but this was an entirely new experience for me. I’ve never lived with an older pet and Mose? He never showed his age once -- not until this year. Still ran around the house chasing toys, clawing apart the furniture, bounding into and out of boxes, attacking your ankles when you walked past his resting place if he felt particularly playful.

I could tell when he was annoyed so effortlessly and knew what things he did or didn’t like. I could typically predict if something would or wouldn’t intrigue him before he’d been introduced to it. His body language was second nature to me. Without words, I understood him and without me knowing at all what I meowed at him he understood me. If nothing else, I hope the little ferret dragon knew he was oh-so-loved.

Life is hard. Death is easy.

I remember the first thing that came to mind both when Thomas died and when Mose was put to sleep was, “It’s not fair.” but really... Death is the fairest thing there is. It’s the same across the board. No escape from it based on wealth, on health, on popularity -- it comes equally for all even if not in equal measure. It has no bias. It may hurt. It may be a loathsome time. But it is nothing if not just.

So while I suffer through this furnace for this period of my life, I cling to the fact that it was, in part, an inevitability. My anguish is no different than anyone else’s -- we all mourn for what could have been. It does not dull my anger at the “importance” of monetary means to preserve a life, but it soothes me that it would happen with or without those tiny pieces of green paper. I would only prolong something for an uncertain amount of time.

It boils down to I loved my baby. Mose meant so much more than I can ever convey through pixels on a screen. He was loved every moment and spoiled beyond belief. I did everything in my power and some things outside of my power in order to keep him happy, healthy, and here.

Go love your furbabies for me. Give them hugs, kisses, pets, sing them songs, whatever. Let them know they mean the world to you. And, just like you would do with anyone you care for, tell them just how very loved they are.

Love, Barn Owl

#Mose #loss #grief #depression #pets

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broadwait · 6 years

Text

Back Where We Use Our Given Names

Warnings: Homophobia, internalized homophobia, minor character death

Pairing: Davey/Race

Word count: 3417

Read on AO3: x

They spent six hours in the car driving.

Race was in the passenger seat, staring out the window, his head leaning on his hand. The music playing was something soft and harmless, if a little melancholy. The landscape around them was green and beautiful and idyllic, looking the way Davey would imagine places out in the country to look. They drove past forests and fields of corn and grazing cows and Davey was so far out of his element. He grew up in the city, where everything moved fast except traffic. Out here everything was so still, like the world had forgotten that this place existed and left it to do as it pleased.

Davey had never spent much time outside of the city. He’d been born and raised there. Even they went on vacation, they never went anywhere this remote, this far upstate. Driving past fields and meadows and woods would probably be relaxing on any normal day, but this wasn’t just some harmless trip to the middle of nowhere, and the drive was far from relaxing.

Davey knew he was getting close when he got stuck for three miles behind a tractor going 30 in a 50, and he couldn’t pass him because all the roads were curved and winding. He couldn’t tell if there was a car just beyond his line of sight and he wasn’t about to risk it.

He sighed heavily. Race huffed out a laugh, more of a sudden exhale than anything, his head leaning against the window.

“How are those things street legal?” Davey asked.

Race shrugged. “You should see what traffic is like on take your tractor to school day.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

Race quirked his lips upward, just slightly.

“It was something the FFA did at the high school every year. I only saw it once before…”

Davey just nodded, understanding. “Yeah.”

The were silent for a minute before Race spoke again.

“You didn’t have to come. I know it’s a hassle.” He turned from looking out the window to looking at Davey.

Davey took a hand off the wheel and reached over, taking one of Race’s into it. “I wanted to.”

Race squeezed his hand and returned to looking out the window.

The tractor finally turned onto a side road and Davey sped up. He could see the beginnings of a town coming up, houses bordering the street, the trees along the road becoming less and less dense. Out in the distance were more buildings, almost certainly the town where they were headed. The town where Race was born. The town where his family lived. Davey remembered when Race confided in him about his family. It had been the night Davey had brought him to meet his parents, a little over two months into their relationship. Race had been wonderful and charming and beautiful and Davey didn’t think he could be more in love. They’d left his mother’s house and took a walk through the park on their way back to their dorms. It was dark, but the street lights were on. It was peaceful. Race had been uncharacteristically quiet and Davey had been about to tease him about it when he realized that Race was crying. They’d gone back quickly and Race had spilled it all: him coming out when he was 14, his parents disowning him, having to go live with a distant uncle in the city, all of it. Davey had held him while he cried and promised him that it was going to be okay.

Race hadn’t told him that his mom had cancer.

To be fair, when they’d disowned Race it hadn’t been bad. His mom had been in remission for over two years and they’d thought the worst of it was past. Since Race didn’t have contact with them, he didn’t know how bad it had gotten. He learned his mom had died from an aunt that hadn’t agreed with his parent’s decision to disown him but didn’t have the means to take him in herself. It was a private funeral, family only. Race wasn’t invited.

Davey had found him in the kitchen floor, his phone cradled in his hands, sobbing too hard to get any words out. He cried for hours, curled up in Davey’s arms, and the worst part of it was that Davey didn’t even know what was wrong. He just had to let Race cry till he’d exhausted himself and fell asleep, pressed against Davey’s chest. He wasn’t up to speaking for a while the next day. Davey had been really worried about him but knew that pressuring him to talk would do nothing but make him want to talk less. Race told him eventually. He’d whispered it, staring straight ahead, his eyes vacant. The funeral was next week. And Race wasn’t allowed to go.

They planned to get there a few days after the funeral, after everyone had cleared out and they could pay their respects in peace. Which is how they found themselves in a car for six hours, driving to a small town in the middle of nowhere.

Race never told people where he was really from. People usually assumed he’d been born in the city based on how comfortable he was with it, how he knew its layout like the back of his hand. But Race still kept some remnants of being a child raised in the country, including but not limited to amazing camping skills. No one knew where they came from and Race shrugged off all questions. Only Davey knew the whole truth of it.

They pulled into the town and parked on the street. It was a Saturday, mid morning, and even though the town was tiny, there were a fair amount of people out and about. Race and Davey walked on the sidewalk, not quite hand in hand but close to each other’s sides.

“How does it feel to be back home again?” Davey asked after a bit of walking aimlessly through the streets.

Race hummed while he thought of an answer.

“This isn’t home, not anymore at least. I’m not sure it ever was.”

He said it so calmly, like it was just a fact of life that he’d accepted. Davey couldn’t tell if it was better or worse than him being broken up about it.

Davey grabbed his hand and squeezed it in response.

The cemetery was quiet as they walked through, rows after rows of tombstones and grave markers. It wasn’t a large place, but it was a decent enough size to have multiple paths weaving their way in and out of rows of headstones. Some scattered trees held birds that would sing occasionally. Davey tried not to think about how much the sound resembled wailing.

Race’s mom was buried in the plot of land next to her father. Race led the way and Davey followed, not reassured by the familiarity that Race had with the layout of the place. He walked down the paths with a quick pace, like he knew exactly where he was going.

“Did you spend a lot of time here?” Davey asked from behind him, struggling to keep up.

Race glanced back at him, something like a smile played on his lips but didn’t take form.

“This town is full of hiding places, Davey. You’ll find my name carved into every tree in a mile radius if you look hard enough.”

Davey followed, watching his feet to make sure he wasn’t going to trip on a tombstone or walk over flowers by accident. His fixation on the ground led to him almost run into Race, who’d stopped suddenly. Davey followed his gaze. There was a fresh patch of dirt about 50 feet out, a neat rectangle. Davey heard Race take a deep breath and continued walking.

They’d brought along flowers, even though the grave was already pretty covered in them. Race walked up to the grave. Race set down the bouquet and stuffed his hands in his pockets. Davey wrapped his arm around him, rubbing soothing circles on his arm. Race stood there for a long moment, his face blank and eyes dry. Davey gave him a little nudge.

“You okay sweetheart?” He asked.

Race hesitated, then nodded his head. He stared at the grave for a few seconds longer before letting out a shaky breath and backing away, out of Davey’s arms. He started walking down the path again. Davey followed.

They continued down the path in silence till they reached the back edge of the cemetery.

There was a big oak tree off in the corner, just next to where a wooden fence separated the clean cut grass from the forest that bordered it. The tree had a lot of thick, low lying branches and Davey knew where this was heading as soon as Race started to lead him toward it.

“I feel like we shouldn’t do this,” he said, slowing his stride. Race turned around.

“Please? You don’t have to, but I’d really like if you did.” Race’s eyes were soft and pleading and Davey couldn’t say no.

“Okay.”

They ascended the tree slowly. Davey had only ever climbed a tree once before when he was ten and he immediately fell from it, so he made sure to take his time. Race was up as far as he could go, stradling a thick branch, facing the trunk. Davey pulled himself up next to him, both his legs dangling over the side. They weren’t more than 12 or 13 feet off the ground but it was enough to make Davey a little queasy. He tried to focus on Race and not the ground below them. Race pointed at a spot on the trunk.

“What did I say. My name’s scattered all around this town.”

Davey looked where Race was pointing and sure enough, there were a series of jagged cuts in the tree which vaguely spelled out ‘Tony.’

“How old were you when you did this?” Davey asked, reaching a hand across Race’s body to trace the letters with his fingertips, his other hand gripping tight to the tree. Race shrugged.

“10? Maybe 11? My dad gave me a pocket knife for my birthday when I was nine.”

“That’s really young to give someone a knife.”

Race shrugged again. “It’s different out here, away from the city. Back there you’d barely give a 13 year old a pocket knife. People here have practically been using them since they were born.”

Davey retracted his hand and moved to start climbing down.

“I can’t imagine you here, in this town. It just doesn’t make sense to me.”

“That’s cuz you a city boy,” Race responded, the teasing lilt that he usually had returning to his voice briefly as he flashed Davey a smile. Davey hadn’t seen him smile that big all week. Before Davey even had a chance to smile back, the expression dropped from his face. “No, I understand. This place never seemed to fit me. I was going to leave eventually, Mom just fast tracked the process.”

They reached the ground and Davey took his hand, nodding back towards the entrance.

“Come on.”

They walked around town for a while, talking sometimes but mostly not. Davey asked him about what he was like as a kid, whether he got into a lot of trouble. Race had smiled a bit at that, recounting how he used to sneak out of the house a lot when he was younger, hide around town in places he wasn’t supposed to be, waiting for someone to find him. During the summer his parents gave him free reign, allowing him to go wherever he wanted as long as he was home before dark. He’d go home and be back out just hours later, after they’d gone to bed. It was stupid, sneaking out like that when he was so young, but it was how he was able to deal with living there for so long. Race thrived on being around people, on being somewhere where things were happening. In this town, it was miles to the closest small city.

They visited Race’s old haunts. They drove around town. They got food at a local restaurant. They drove past Race’s old house. He’d lived in a small development, not quite suburbs but pretty dang close, cul-de-sac and all.

The sun was getting lower in the sky and Davey pulled off on the side of the road about a half mile out of town. They didn’t have a place to stay for the night so they were planning on just crashing in their car. Not the ideal sleeping situation but a sleeping situation nonetheless. Davey was fishing blankets out of the trunk when Race came up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist. He didn’t say anything, so Davey turned around to give him a proper hug, holding him tight. Race tucked his head into the crook of Davey’s neck and sighed. Davey understood.

Race pulled away, a far away look in his eyes. He grabbed a blanket from the trunk and took Davey’s hand.

“Come with me, I want to show you something.”

They walked back towards the town, staying just along the outskirts till they reached a field, no more than a half mile from where they’d parked and probably around a quarter mile from Race’s old house. It was blocked from view of the road by a thick line of trees. It looked like it had once been used for farming, but the land was overgrown, and the barn in the distance was half collapsed. Race walked to the middle of the field and laid a blanket down over the long grass. He sat on it, leaning back on his hands and looking at the sky. Davey sat down next to him, putting his arm gently around his shoulders.

“This was one of my favorite places to sneak out to. You could see every star from here on a clear night.”

Race was staring out at the sun as it made its way down towards the horizon. The sky was a mix colors, something golden fading into dull blue, the sparse clouds tinted just the slightest hint of pink. The darker edges of the sky to the east had a sprinkling of stars just starting to come out.

They did a lot of sitting in silence. Davey didn’t know what to say, how to comfort. The last time he’d experienced grief was when he was seven, and he didn't remember most of it. He remembered crying a lot, remembered the day of the funeral, remembered the moment he’d learned that his grandfather had died, but he didn’t remember how long it took for him to be okay He didn’t remember anything that people did to make him feel better, to make him feel safe. And this was different anyway, Race wasn’t even crying. Davey had no idea how to handle the situation, but he would give Race all the time he needed to heal.

The glow of the setting sun had turned to twilight by the time the silence broke. Race had his hand on Davey’s but he wasn’t holding it, opting instead to toy idly with his fingers.

“I don’t think I ever really blamed her for what she did,” Race said next to him.

Davey furrowed his brow, confused. “What do you mean?” Race kept his attention fixed on playing with Davey’s fingers.

“Well, for a while, I thought she might’ve been right. That I was an abomination. I thought I deserved it,” he said, his voice small and quiet. Davey reached up a hand to turn Race’s face towards his, trying to keep his words and his gaze as sincere as he could.

“She was wrong. She was completely and totally wrong.” Race was looking at Davey with wide eyes, an intense vulnerability in them, and Davey couldn’t resist the urge to lean down and kiss him softly. They pulled apart, Race huffing out a little laugh as he turned to look back down at their joined hands. Davey frowned at the fact that Race wouldn’t maintain eye contact but didn’t push it.

“I know. I know she was wrong. But I still never resented her, even though I knew I had every right to. Back then, I thought maybe if I could change, if I could fix myself, then maybe she’d take me back. Maybe she’d love me again.” Davey opened his mouth to say something but Race cut him off. “I know, I know that’s stupid and it’s not how it works, but at 14? All I wanted was to go home.” He took a deep breath, his tone changing to one of finality. “But I got older. I learned to accept myself and love myself and I realized that if she only loved me when she thought I was straight, she didn’t love me at all. The day I realized that… that was the day I stopped caring about her taking me back.”

“I’m really proud of you for realizing that Race.”

Race rested her head on Davey’s shoulder, joining their hands. “I think that’s why this whole thing hasn’t been as rough on me as it should’ve been, all in all. When I stopped caring was when I lost her. In my head, she’s been dead for years.”

Davey tilted his head down to rest on Race’s.

“You’ll always have people in this world who love you, unconditionally. Your mom might not have been one of them, but we exist and we’re here for you, through thick and thin.”

They sat in silence for a long while, Davey with his arm around Race, their hands intertwined, the world growing dark around them. Fireflies were beginning to rise from the grass, little pinpricks of light flashing against the dim light of dusk. Davey was vaguely aware of Race twitching slightly in his arms but didn’t think much of them until he heard him sniffle. He bent his head down and tried his best to get a good look at Race’s face, a task made only more difficult by the fact that Race was apparently trying his hardest to look away from him. His chin was tucked tight to his chest.

“Race? Love, are you okay?”

Race shook his head as he choked back sobs, the force causing his whole body to shake and his chest to expand and contract quickly in what looked like painful, silent hiccups. Davey wrapped his other arm around Race and pulled him close so his cheek was pressed to Davey’s chest. Davey focused on steadying his own heartbeat, knowing Race could hear it, knowing that if it was calm and regular then Race might be able to focus on that and calm down.

Race took a deep breath, held it for a few seconds, and let it out slowly. He repeated the process a few times before his breathing slowed to something approaching normal. He shifted his head so it was pressed to a dryer part of Davey’s shirt. Davey could feel it getting wet so he could tell Race was still crying, but he was definitely crying less.

Davey stroked his hair. “It will hurt less in time,” he said. Race shook his head slightly.

“It’s not about that,” he mumbled into the fabric.

“What?”

“It’s not about my mom.”

“Then what is it about?”

Race paused for a moment, still and unmoving in Davey’s arms.

“I’m scared,” he whispered, his voice shaky.

“Of what?”

“That tomorrow will come and this will all be gone. That you won’t be there. That you’ll realize I’m too much of a mess and leave. That I’ll be alone and then one day I’ll be disappear and no one will be around to notice.”

Davey pulled him impossibly closer. He rubbed a hand up and down his back, kissed his head, tried his best to silently let Race know that he was there and he was real.

“Race, eternity could come and I would still be right by your side. I don’t care who else comes and goes in our lives but I’m never going to let you go. You’ll always have me. I promise.”

Night was settling over them and they were going to have to walk back in the dark and sleep in their car but it was okay, because they had each other. It was all they needed.

#ravey #my writing #newsies #newsies live #david jacobs #racetrack higgins

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the-firebird69 · 2 years

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There's a program on TV right now and you can hear it and it's about the swords it's about the two lakes and they're saying they're Indians Trump and bja Brad Jason Dan the whole lot and actually some foreign ones Garth and other are up there no problem is they're also in Boston and North of Boston they're getting eaten by Giants for Max and Max use them as a medium they were 100 septillion more like this morning and now there are 50 those giants were 20 miles high and now they're about 30 and there are some 40 miles high they're trying to at least three at least reach 100 they're using the hormone and all sorts of spice and they're pretty bulky meaning they have muscle and they're lifting things to get in shape old tanks something complain cuz I get cut a little they're very sharp and they heal up but it's a pain after a time probably tonight they'll run up there some will be over a hundred miles maybe 200 and think that they can pull the sword out and have to wait it'll be more than one of them and they're going to get a very painful surprise there's about 50 septillion warlock left and they're all flocking up there because they want to see this giant fight they want to see the max fall actually want to see them fall for a couple reasons one is they want to use it as a ride so they're trying to film it and it takes a ton of effort and they got people all over the world trying to support them but really they only have a few septillion out there in entirety and they're coming now because they say they can simply film it they've got all sorts of devices to go up and film by this afternoon and about an hour they'll be 25 septillion and then none in a massive battle will occur tonight

Hera Zues

And this b**** this stupid molec cork dish is sitting there saying she's going to win stuff she's going to do things to her son and spent like an hour in the aisle after he got the right thing staring at this product and couldn't even read it and couldn't see what it was they finally asked her to leave and said you were in his way and you're done so she runs up there got everything and all sorts of dumb things that's how you going to pick up the sword you idiot she knows I'm after the technology and said that's a good reminder so now she's doing because people hate her and the max realize they should have gotten rid of them a long time ago it's hard enough

Thor Freya

And we're going to go after them now and they're up in Maine doing it too and in Canada but they are taking pictures from different locations we know exactly where they are some are going down the Saco and they're going to find the tree and see how heavy it is and they're going to have a heart attack

Olympus

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mariahigh · 2 years

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damn i hate to admit it but i think i have a crush on my teacher, like he's not even MY teacher but i know him from lessons that take place after school and everyone from every grade can get there and do their homework (they call it "silencium"). and at the beginning of the school year me and my friend were looking at the list of who is gonna be the silencium teacher and while we were asking each other if we know who mr D is, a man passed by and said that it's him. i was a bit surprised cuz i didn't know we had THIS young teachers here at school because that motherfucker looks like he is 22 or something. and i went to the silencium and it was very chill BUTTTTTT i would catch him staring at me. and since then i'm only and only going to his silenciums and one time, i asked him to look at the summary of a movie that i had prepared for a presentation and he literally told me "it's written so damn good" and inside i was like "say what DADDYYYY" but on the outside i was blushing and told him that of course it's good cuz i spent 6 hours on it. and dayummmmmm that motherfucker is taaallllll and he's blonde and has got blue eyesss. and from that time, always when i get to his silenciums, he always tries to talk to me and we have cute small-talks. and there is a room for when you have the 50-minute recess where you can play board games and shit like that and i always go there to read my books he tries to have a conversation with me THERE TOO. LIKE DADDYYYYYYYYYYY IF YOU WANNA FUCK JUST TELL MEEEEE I'M NOT JUDGING

and yeah he's cute asf and he's funny and got good humor

and when see each other in the hallways, i always say 'hi' to him and i've got a really thin and girly voice so he repeats and imitates my voice and says 'hi' too and it's fuckin hilarious

and whenever he asks something that can be answered with just "yes" or "no", i don't give an explanation and just say a quick "yes" and he imitates that too. and today i asked him who had silencium today and he named each of them and at the end i was like "oh. ok." and he did the same LIKE BOI SORRY I CAN'T ANSWER DIFFERENTLY

anyways that's it and at the beginning of realising my feelings i was so fucking confused and shit like that and i couldn't sleep because i was thinking of him and i was cryingggg because you know i was confused as fuck

but yeah i guess i'm used to it :|

let's hope i get his attention everytime 🤝

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kdenbibi · 6 years

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Endless Chapter 5

Damian Wayne x Reader (x various)

Summary:Some questions are answered, some questions arise.

Warnings: Slight language, war flashbacks to Discowing

Authors Note: Yeet, hope ya like it

Tag List: @mirajanestrauss1999

I walked into the small coffee shop, shaking the snow from my beanie as I trudged towards the very back, my long winter jacket fluttered from the speed I was walking, I silently thanked the Lord they had the heater blasting in here.I peeled off the coat, tossing it in the empty booth in the back I'd been instructed to snag. I tried my best not to let my nerves show, although to be fair I was meeting a complete stranger all by my lonesome, unfortunately Jon got an urgent call and had to bail, he seemed pretty hesitant to leave but after some reassurance that I'd be okay he dipped. Seconds felt like hours as I waited for the guy to show, my fingers drummed down on the worn down surface to the beat of the Christmas song softly drifting throughout the shop. The cheery atmosphere did nothing to quell the anxiety in my stomach, if the smell of cinnamon in the air and overall warmth the cafe provided couldn't help, then yeah I was definitely nervous. I tugged off my knit beanie, and attempted to smooth out the serious case of hat hair I had going on, thankfully, I braided my hair earlier so the loose curls sticking out looked on purpose, my fingers, now bored with the drumming, toyed with the ends of braid as a means of distraction. I felt my eye wander from the homely decorations hung up and around the walls, to watching the world go by through the window. I took in the sight, the snow had finally started to come down in Gotham so people were bundled up almost comically, and despite it being below 40° outside, they went about their lives as usual, whenever new folks paid our city a visit, they were always perplexed at Gothamites abilities to ignore the freezing temperatures. I have to admit as sweet as the snow falling was to watch, hands down my favorite thing about this time of year was the city's tradition to string up what looked to be a million Christmas lights above and through downtown, making the usual dim, dark, nights much brighter. I was so in my thoughts I jumped at the sudden body very casually-and very loudly I might add- sliding into the booth across from me, I ended up slamming my knees into the table so hard the salt and pepper shakers knocked over. I whispered a curse under my breath as I rubbed at my newly bruised knee, and before I could roast the unwanted stranger, my head snapped up to see a familiar grin. "Yikes- that sounded like it hurt, you okay kid?" "Besides needing new kneecaps? Yeah just peachy - thanks for asking strange grown man." Said random man gave a warm laugh at my response, I took in his appearance, trying to gage if he was a threat or not, I could tell even sitting down the guy had a few good inches on me, he was wrapped in a brown bomber jacket, underneath was a crisp white shirt just asking to be stained by the grease that came with living here. He simply smiled while I analysed him, familiarity pinged in my head once I laid eyes on him grin. I scanned over his facial features, trying my damnedest to figure out where the hell I knew him from, his eyes were almost the same shade of electrifying blue as Jon's, his hair fell in tufts of black waves, the few scattered snowflakes atop the waves made the black stand out even more.

All I got from my mini evaluation was this guy was hot, but I wasn't about to lower my defenses because of it.

He broke the silence before I could, suddenly looking confused as he glanced around the building. "Hey I thought you were gonna bring a friend? Or are they just hiding out in a vent waiting to ambush me if things go bad?" He joked, and just like that I remembered why I was even here. "Holy shit you're Ni- you're here." He nodded, the goofy grin ever present.My voice cracked mid sentence, I managed to stop myself from basically screaming 'Well butter my biscuits it's Nightwing! In the flesh!' and cleared my throat trying not to show the heat of embarrassment steadily creeping up my neck. "He uh- had to cancel actually, but don't worry I have a plan in case you turn out to be a weirdo." He laughed again, not taking any offense to my sort of threat. "Smart girl." He leaned back against the booth, thumbing through the menu like we were just two buddies catching up over coffee."I wonder if they serve any food, I'm starving.” He waved over the waitress grabbing himself a coffee, "Want something?" I responded still staring at the man confusion plastered across my face."Coco please." After a few moments of silence he spoke, clearly amused.

"You okay over there?"

"What no, wait I mean yeah why- why wouldn't I be." I internally cringed at my answer, he gave me a look which said he didn't but it, but the conversation dropped there.He filled the time spent waiting for our orders with casual stories about his day job as a police officer and how crazy it could be."Moral of the story, don't try to drive after your eyes have been dilated." I nodded, still, if not more nervous than I was earlier, a part of me felt like I should have been taking notes, he sighed into his palm, a smaller smile on his lips. "What is it? Do I have something on my face?" He picked up the dingy napkin dispenser, attempting to look at himself in the just barely reflective surface. I couldn't help the snort from escaping my mouth. "Nah I'm just trying to wrap my head around," I gestured to him with a wave of my hand. "- all this." He put down the dispenser with a smile. "It's pretty weird huh?" "Just a little." I laughed out pinching my fingers together. "I mean you're so - normal." Just then the waitress brought us our orders,He laughed into the coffee mug, taking a long sip before responding. "Well what did you think we did all day, work on our outfits and plan witty comebacks?" I paused before nodding. He sighed, rubbing his temple, "I can't speak for everyone but I happen to be a very normal guy- mostly." "Well 'normal guy' I gotta get your name cuz’ I'm running out of things to call you." He stuck out his hand,"Richard Grayson at your service, but my friends call me Dick." I took his outstretched palm with a firm shake. "Those don't sound like very good friends,” I joked “ I'm (Y/n) (L/n)." After half my drink was gone and the atmosphere was much lighter than earlier, a question popped up in my mind. "Let me ask you a question Dick." "Shoot." "Why'd you come here- you know, out of your whole 'sparkly' get up." He squinted at me, wiping his face before pointing a finger at my face. "First of all it is not 'sparkly', and let me tell you I know sparkly, one version of the costume had a very, very deep v-neck, I'm talking uncomfortable to look at deep, trust me this is an upgrade." I laughed, nearly chocking on my drink as I pictured him in the world's deepest v-neck, I wiped at my mouth with the back of my sleeve, the nerves finally leaving once I realized he was really just a normal dude.

Well a normal dude who kicks ass in tights at night but that's besides the point.

"Okay well that still doesn't tell me why you showed up all not-clad-in-skin-tight-kevlar. Aren't secret identities kind a big deal for y'all spandex junkies?" "Well yeah, but like I said before, you're a good kid, so I'm not all that worried." He leaned forward, a hopeful smile on his face. "Besides, there's gotta be trust between the people you work with- if you'd like to join us spandex junkies that is." I smiled at the man, a new wave of warmth spread through me as he spoke, I mentally paused, searching for any kind of hesitancy from my gut but all I got was a 50/50 ratio of nerves and excitement. "I'm listening, although I can't promise I'll squeeze myself into anything uncomfortable, even if it looks good." "Duly noted." He laughed. We spent the next hour shooting questions back and forth, most of his were unsurprisingly about what I could and could not do.

Mine were mostly about the tights.

By now the sun had set but there were still plenty of people walking about, apparently the threat of crime wasn't about to deter their Christmas shopping. "So what made you change your mind? About calling me that is?" He asked pulling me from my thoughts. I pulled on the sleeves of my shirt out of habit. "Something happened at the bank the other day-" "Wait, that mysterious hero was you?" "Yes and no," I gave a dry laugh "-anyway something..uh new happened with my powers and I figured if anyone could help me it be a dude who spends all his time around other people like me, can't exactly learn about this in chemistry class ya know?" He nodded with a warm smile, before his face shifted into something more of determination, "Look, I'll be honest here, personally I can't relate to the whole 'ooky spooky abilities' deal but I know a few people who do, and we'd all be willing to help." I gave him a soft smile, a warm feeling of appreciation swelled in my chest. "Thank you- I mean it really, I have no idea where it comes from- or what the full extent of it is." I huffed leaning back into the seat. "It sure be nice not to worry about it any more." "Again, like I said, it's kind of our job to help and protect. So it's not a problem kiddo."

This felt like a moment from those sappy films where the older sibling figure ruffles the younger ones hair affectionately, but it wasn't.

Because if he tried it, I'd stab his hand with my fork out of reflex.

"So what's the plan here, am I gonna meet up with you in your secret lair and practice?" He chuckled out a no before continuing. "Not exactly, I'll have to finalize things with the big guy and when everything's ready we'll come to you." "Big guy?" He looked at me questioningly, a small smirk curling on his lips, waiting for me to come to my own conclusion. "Oh shit you mean Batman oh. OH." He shushed me with a laugh looking around at the other patrons before turning back to me. "Don't worry he's not at scary as everyone thinks." "Are you shitting me? Hell no." I shook my head with an uneasy laugh."He's on the Babadooks level- He's on that Freddy .vs. Jason level of scary." He barked out a laugh before pulling out the money to cover our bills. "Trust me kid, you'll do fine." "What if he doesn't like me? What if I don't make the cut and he throws me out a six story window?"

"That's oddly specific and-" he looked around for the sake of dramatics and whispered. "You didn't hear this from me, but if it'll make you feel better, you won't be dealing with him much." "Wait- who will I be dealing with then?" He winced out a small laugh, rubbing the back of his neck."See now I really can't tell you that."I pouted at the older man,"Dude! You said it yourself, there should be trust between people working together, don't contradict yourself Richard." I spoke with grin. "Damnit you got me there." He snapped his fingers together before leaning in "Okay but I'm only telling you because I think you deserve a warning." My brows shot up in concern at that. "Why would I need a warning exactly?" "Well, you remember that kid I had to stop from turning you to mincemeat?" "Yeah sure, I remember the goblin." He said nothing else, calmly sipping his mug, eyes cast away from me, making me realize exactly who he meant. "Shit."

Damian POV

I easily dodged Jon's incoming fist, his stance was wrong and his punches were sloppy, he was distracted by something. I used this to land a firm kick to the back of his exposed knee, bringing him down with a wince worthy thud.My heel pressed into the center of his back as I leaned down to the struggling teenager, the pressure increased on his back the lower I went. After realizing he wasn't getting up any time soon he tapped on the mat twice, signaling his defeat. "You're terrible at this you know." I offered him a hand after he managed to roll onto his back, he scoffed at me but took my offer, pulling himself into a standing position."Well yeah, thats the whole point of you training me." He rolled his shoulders before setting his feet in the proper position. He motioned at me to come at him, I simply walked towards the nearest bench and took a seat. "Aw come on Damian! You told me to come home and train but you won't even-" "You are distracted, in a real fight that would kill you." I spoke before taking a short sip from my water bottle. "Sort yourself out Jonathan." I watched the boy from the corner of my eye, his face was furrowed in frustration, I could tell he was losing his cool, it brought a smirk to my face. "I'm not distracted-" "You and I both know I'm not wrong, so talk, spew your problems like some prepubescent child, if it'll get your mind in the game."He sighed plopping down to sit on the slightly worn down mat, "I'm just a little worried about (y/n)-" "Why is there an update?" I spoke up interrupting him. He shook his head no. "Besides what happened at the bank? Nothing, I would have told you." He spoke that last line with a hint of bitterness, when I first told him to get intel on the girl, he was completely against the idea. My mind flashed to that first initial morning where they walked off together, a plan had came to my head to get the information I needed without doing much of anything. As the week progressed, I'd ask the Kryptonian if anything interesting happened with her, hoping she'd share with the boy, but unfortunately for me, he began to catch on. "Damian, can I ask you something?" "You just did but fine, go ahead." We sat at our usual lunch table, the everyday chaos of high school chatter blended our conversation into the background. "Why are you so curious about (y/n)?" I looked up from my book to meet his suspicious gaze."Is it wrong to be curious, Kent?" His leaned into his hand, the puzzlement in his eyes never faltering."No there's nothing wrong with that! its just, you don't really take interest in, well anything." I stared at him unimpressed. "No offense! I meant normal teenage stuff, like I only ever see you talk to a few people here, and whenever we talk it's about her." I won't lie, his intellect surprised me, but I didn't let it show. "She's seems like a nice person is all." I watched as his suspicion fell and the smile on his face grow into something mischievous. "So would you say she'd make a good friend?" My face scrunched in confusion."What?- sure yes if it'll shut you up." And with that he suddenly rose before making his way across the cafeteria, to my dismay he came back with the girl in question. (Y/n) looked between us, clearly just as confused as I was."Are you gonna tell me what was so urgent or keep me standing here like boo boo the fool?" "Damian wanted to know if you would sit with us for lunch!" Our eyes met, her's skeptical, mines more surprised than angry that the little shit had it in him to do this. I realized she was waiting for my confirmation, obviously not buying what Jon said. "If you want." I spoke after clearing my throat. An uneasy smile made it's way on her face before she sat down across from me, Jon took the seat next to her."Uh thanks? I mean this is uhm, nice of you and all but why?" Jon spoke for me. "Well we were just talking about how Damian here doesn't have many friends-" I kicked his shin hard under the table, but it only hurt my foot, I held back a wince and the urge to rub my now pulsing appendage. 'Boy of steel, right, I forgot.' Jon looked to me with a smirk before continuing."-and I was telling him all about how you're so nice and cool and yeah, here we are." She looked at me with a smirk stretched across her full lips, a perfectly arched brow rose in question, "That's surprising, who wouldn't wanna be friends with someone as charming and kindhearted as pretty boy over here?" The sarcasm was practically dripping from her voice.Jon, either too oblivious to notice or too excited to care, ignored this. "Great to hear! Well how was everyone's day?" Neither of us answered too busy in a stare off, I tried to analyze her, and she stared right back, refusing to step down from this unspoken glare contest. Jon interrupted us with a cough. "Well my day was great thanks for asking." She turned away to look at the taller boy, her expression much more friendly than the look she gave me. "Sorry, his whole 'children of the corn' thing going on is pretty distracting." she pointed her thumb back motioning to me, "-what'd you do today anyway?" He went on to list all the miniscule things he achieved before lunch. I half listened to their conversation, mostly focused on the novel I had, occasionally chiming in whenever I felt it necessary. Just like that the lunch period was over, and it was time to head back to reality.(Y/n) looked to me before she left, a half smile on her face, I was surprised it was directed at me and not the younger boy by my side. "You're not so bad Wayne, when you aren't talking that is." I smirked at the girl, slapping my novel shut with one hand."I'll admit, the brief moments your mouth was shut were rather nice." She laughed off my insult with a wave of her hand, before returning to her group to finish their day.

When the school day crawled to an end, and I was driving Jon and myself back to the manor, it occurred to me the boy in my passenger seat wasn't one to be easily fooled, it also occurred he may already know of her abilities and is acting stupid to throw off my questioning. I decided to sidestep all the bullshit of my original plan and straight out ask him. "Let's not beat around the bush Jonathan, has (y/n) told you anything strange about herself?" He snapped his head up, away from his phone to stare at me. "Pardon me?" I rolled my eyes at his act. "You know? Her powers, what has she told you of them?" "She has powers?" He practically screamed, I resisted the urge to slam the car into the traffic surrounding me and took a deep breath. "I'd appreciate it if you refrained from screaming like a banshee in my car." I spoke with a roll of my eyes, god the more time I spent with this kid the more I saw the inside of my head."You can drop the act, I know of her powers already." "I didn't!" He yelled, deflating in his seat."You're kidding me right?" He didn't answer."I'll take that as a no then, TT." He groaned tossing his hands up in the air, clearly distraught. The rest of the car ride was silent, him no doubt letting the information sink in. It wasn't until days later did we speak again, after he returned home rather late, looking like he'd been kicked down a flight of stairs. I sipped at the tea steaming in my cup as he sat down at the table, rubbing at his neck, exhaustion clear in his body language. "What's up with you?" His tired eyes lifted to meet mine. He hesitated before speaking, having some sort of internal debate on whether or not to tell me. "Something happened today, something with (y/n)." He gave me a very rough explanation, not wanting to delve into the details too much, before trying to head up to bed, I grabbed his arm stopping him in his tracks. "You saw what happened today, it could get worse if she doesn't get help, but she won't listen to me, so you have to do it." "What- me? I don't even know what you're saying." I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at the kid before speaking again. "You're her friend, it should be easy to get some information about the extent of her abilities and bring it back to me." He scoffed at me, "I wouldn't deceive her like that- I wouldn't deceive anyone like that!" "You wouldn't be deceiving anyone, you'd simply be using your friendship to gain information for the greater good." I responded with a shrug."It would feel wrong, I don't wanna use her." "No one said you'd use her, you can still keep up that happy go lucky friendship shit once you tell me what I need." "That's not how friendships work." He chewed on the nail of his thumb, deep in thought. I continued, placing a hand on his shoulder. "As a hero, it's your responsibility to protect the public from any threats, or any potential threats." I used my Robin voice, the tone I used to talk to civilians, commanding but nonthreatening, trying to get it through his thick head."She's not a threat." He looked conflicted as he spoke. "Any unregistered meta is a threat, hell me and you both are threats. Power in the wrong hands is never a good thing." "Well it's not in the wrong hands, she saved those people today!-" "Prove it to me, show me she's not a threat and I'll drop it." We stared at one another in silence before he nodded, a fire in his eyes.

"Deal."

I was brought back to the present when he moved to stand, stretching out his body."I think I'm good now, you ready for round two?" I placed the water bottle down before rising, I walked until I was an arms reach away from him, "Let's see if Kryptonian's are all their hyped up to be."

After a good two hours of sparring (aka me tossing him on his ass in many different ways) and getting an idea of what he could do and handle, we called it a day. We made our way up from the cave, into the empty kitchen, he grabbed two water bottles from the fridge, tossing one to me before sitting down at the table.I nodded as thanks and pressed the cold bottle against my warm skin, sure the kid couldn't fight for shit but he was resilient as hell. I leaned against the counter, the cold of the marble bringing some relief to my overheated body. "What had you so worked up earlier anyway?" I asked breaking the silence that had fallen over us as we tried to catch our breaths. He finished patting his face with a towel before speaking."Oh it's nothing serious, I was supposed to go with her to meet someone but she texted me everything's going smoothly." "Why would she need you there?"

Thankfully he learned early on not to take my bluntness to heart, so he replied with a smile.

"I mean who wants to meet some hardcore vigilante all by themselves?" My head snapped up so fast it startled the younger boy. "She's doing what?" He grimaced at me, a nervous smile on his lips. "Meeting up with a vigilante to discuss her powers?" He spoke as more of a question than an actual answer.I felt the urge to slam my hand to my forehead, or alternatively his head into the cabinet. "It just occurred to you to share this with me now?"

My voice was rising, I couldn't believe the amount of stupidity bottled up into one human. "Hey in my defense I thought you knew! I mean it is Nightwing, you guys are cool right? You have nothing to worry about!." His eyes shifted from me to the doorway, as he inched towards it, his voice had gone up a few good octaves in fear. He held up his hands like he expected me to throw something his way, a good chunk of me thought that wouldn't be a bad idea. I paused, racking my brain for answers to all the questions I had, why would Dick go see her? Why didn't I know about it? Why was I not strangling Jon right now? So many questions with no answers. I looked up to ask him for any other withheld information only to see his body quickly disappearing down the hallway.

"I'm sorry I'm running but you're way too freaky to be around when you're mad!" He yelled over his shoulder, it echoed throughout the hallway. I had now two options, call Dick, demand an explanation and hope he'll give it to me, or take my anger out on my housemate and then call dick.

Option two sounded much more fun, and besides, a quick throw off the balcony would test his flight skills.

#Dc imagine #dc reader insert #dc x reader #dc #poc reader #poc reader insert #damian wayne x reader #damian wayne #damian wayne imagine #jon kent #jon kent imagine #jon kent x reader #nightwing #dick grayson #Endless #nightwing x reader #various x reader #x reader #reader insert

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albanuvo · 7 years

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Accident

Based on real events that happened on Oct.6th 2017

Like every weekday now, the alarm goes off 6 am. I run to the bathroom to put toothpaste on Ayden’s toothbrush and go into the kitchen to heat up his one waffle. I have an odd feeling but I chuck it to not sleeping well. Ayden spent the night coughing. Fast forward to 7:30 am, the alarm goes off for us to leave the house and I get that weird feeling again. I grab Ayden’s hand tight as we cross the road. I have this feeling of protecting him. I find myself doing it all morning. I didn’t pay it any mind as I usually have days when I’m more emotional and once again chucked up my maternal helicopter parenting on that itself. We fed the Canadian geese and Sea Gulls, the sun was out and it was a beautiful morning. We finished to then head to the Welsh Pantry for our shared ham and cheese toasty.Once again my grip on Ayden as we crossed the intersection quickly. Its time, We enter the gate so that the kids can head to their classrooms, all the children roll around in their scooters and walking in with their parents. The parents tired looking but with the sense of relief to give up their responsibility for just a couple hours. They love them, of that I’m sure but a moment for yourself isn’t selfish.It is much needed. As we continue to walk, in only a few feet in front of me a little boy scoots by so fast and somehow falls nearly facedown off his scooter, the poor little boy cries as his mother leaves her conversation with other mothers to aid her son. He brushes his blond hair off his red tear filled eyes being restricted to his helmet. Thank god he was wearing that helmet. Ayden says oooo that must have hurt and I feel sorry for the child. He was ok. All these kids have scooters, I’d say more than 87%. I walk Ayden in through the gate and the classroom door opens and in he goes. I love you…kiss…hug …It still hurts but easier to let go day by day.

I’ve been running around all day, I get off the bus with that feeling still bugging me but I remember I have to call the clinic to book Ayden an appointment, they tell me I don’t need an appointment as long as he gets there before 5:30. I message Alex to let him know and he says funny enough he had already called, forgetting after a certain time they do walk-ins. Got home took a shower, groceries came at 10:06 am than 11-12 when it was scheduled for, whatever.

1:06 Alex calls me to let me know that he can pick us up from the school and if I could grab him some food from Morleys. I agree and I am relieved I don’t have to run home to get ready for work at 5 pm. Guess the routine will be changing up. 1:30 pm The alarm is going off time to leave to the bus stop. That feeling is back again. Maybe I’m just tired. Hello again to the same bus driver. The bus taking me calls off every stop and I can’t shake off that feeling but I try to focus on other things like how warm the sun is.

Then we arrive at my stop, Hampton Court Bridge. I walk off the bus an sit right at the first bench. it was cool and the water moved rapidly but also calmly. I spot a man, perhaps Jamaican with his 2 sons. One in the stroller the other about 3 or 4. I was nervous about seeing them so close to the edge but I figured they fed the geese too and the water wasn’t deep on the edge. Another thought popped into my mind. If the child fell in who would jump in, I cant swim! does the father know how to? I cant tell you why I think these thoughts so frequently but when I do I promise something ends up happening that day. He finishes admiring the river with his son, he starts to pull the stroller backward back up towards the ramp bumping over a bunch of tiny rocks and plant life on the trail. The older boy runs back up the trail as the father in another language I couldn’t understand calls back to him, saying, Papa, something …Idk but somehow I knew he said papa is leaving, bye son. Its what we do to get our kids to come and go with us, scare them into thinking we are leaving them behind. Seems cruel doesn’t it, not really tho, not many of us would be willing to leave our children alone or behind. Those who truly love would never do that. The man sees me and says good day to me as he continues to pull the stroller out and up the ramp passing me, the youngest is such a cutie too. Another bus stops behind me from another company, a woman calls out to me and I recognize her, she’s the grandma from one of the beautiful lil girls from another class. She says hi to me and tells me that the bus we waited for came after I left a couple days ago. Waited for an hour and 2 busses never showed up. We chatted for a bit and she left while still looking back at me several times. I’m alone again, just the traffic behind me on the road and in front, the waves of the river and I’m starting to feel cold. I don’t want to leave yet and my mind starts to wander as I stand up and stare at the river from the ramp. Why am I here on this earth? What is my purpose? I kid you not that’s exactly what I was thinking, money, career, marriage. All the things we think about while being alone and inside our own heads. I had that feeling and I couldn’t tell why. Was I depressed, Is my monthly curse to come playing up with my emotions or sensitivity? Idk something isn’t right. 2:20 its time to start walking… I get to the area but continue to walk up avoiding the first entrance and going thru another entrance further down. I sit across the street from the school, something I never do. I like to be the first at the gate but this time I sat.My phone rings, caller Id says, Amy. Hi, are you by the school? I’m going to be late there’s this big accident and I’m only like 5-10 late could you pick up Miya? no worries and sure, make sure you let them know some fat black woman with short black hair is coming to get her lol we both laugh and she says I will call to let them know. We agree to meet up near hers. See I’ve never picked up his cousin from school before. Something once again I’ve never done. Dare I say out of routine. As it was 2:40 I walked into the hall that leads us to the gate noticed 3 women and a baby in a stroller in the front by the gate and an older man behind them. making me 3rd in line for my baby. It’s 2:50 can someone please open the gate now? finally, she pushes the gate. We all go into line up by the doors to get our kids. I speak to other mothers about their day and their younger ones while I wait for Ayden. Then the doors open. I wish the ladies a good weekend. I tell Ayden lets go get Miya and then we will head to Morleys to get daddy his food. We approach the class and the teacher at the door immediately says are you here for Miya, I smile and say yes and Ayden yells MIYA!!! I say thank you and tell them to hold hands. We start to walk towards Morleys. Once again that weird feeling kicks in so I say “Ok kids, hold hands and let’s go and don’t let go of each other. The long line of kids and parents and children on scooters seemed endless. “Miya, did you bring your scooter?” She says “No we came with the buggy today” “ I say to her “great so let’s go then”. As we approach the road I then tell them to get on either side of me and hold my hand until we cross. They comply but are excited about being with each other. We are about to cross another road at this point they both are holding hands again so instead of breaking them up I reach for their connecting hands to cross the road. We walk to Morleys. They sat down as I proceeded to make the order. They played as another woman with her baby and small daughter smile while looking at them and asks me if they are both in reception. I say no Only 1, she looked on as if trying to understand something she is thinking in her mind. I know what she is thinking, not psychic but the obvious, see Ayden and his cousin look like they can be siblings, same height, and very similar characteristics. the only difference is that her hair is blond. I say to the women “They do look like siblings but in actuality They’re cousins” Her expression changed as if her question had been answered and we both smiled. She continued to admire them as they played. How could she not they both look so adorable together when they play. I watch out the glass door as I see her mother approaching with her lil brother in arms, her face in relief in gratitude. “Thank you for picking her up for me,” she says “No worries” And as I wait for the chicken burger meal We keep talking about the kids, discussing playdate, Halloween parties, and just usual mommy stuff. Finally its done!! it’s time to go and so we walk on thru the supermarket and are talking when an older women appearsbehind me, looked like a gypsy you see in a scary film, She was pushing her little cart into the other trollies. she was wearing a scarf and \i could see a long skirt coming through her long brownish sweater, I guess I was in her way. I apologized and moved forward she smiled. I thought in my head about the movies you see about when they feel done wrong how they curse you.I know silly & SO STEREOTYPICAL but we were talking about Halloween and she spooked me as I didn’t see or hear her walk up behind me. I cut the convo short and said let’s text the plans as I have to go to work so home to get dressed etc. Since that sandwich took ages Ayden and I took to speed walking, all the while he complained of leg pains, I said to him “We are meeting up with daddy, We won’t walk.” he was adamant that he should then run. I said no! if your legs hurt just walk but try to go fast cuz I need to go home to get dressed. As we walked I grabbed a few leaves. I found this huge one I thought was awesome. We got to the car I hand Alex his food and buckle Ayden in. Let’s go! We are driving for a bit and notice a bit of traffic. its school, time of course. Kids and parents everywhere but not as bad as I had been at Morleys for enough time for the majority to disperse. We are driving down the road, it’s warm as the sun beams right into our eyes, down come the visors. Alex then say’s “ OMg there was this huge accident on the way here” I interrupt with “Yeah that must be the same accident as to why Amy was late to get Miya” Not even half a second after Miya rolled off my tongue …On the opposite side of the road a child speeds off the sidewalk into traffic, We hear what sounded like a million voices screaming a bus comes to a hard halt everything stops for a split second like a pause in a movie , in a blink of the eye everything happens simultaneously I watch Alex raise his hands to his heads , I watch as a mother screams hysterically as many ran towards her side, she drops to the floor…her screams echoed thru the cars as others run towards the bus, people come running out their cars the bus drivers face in terror as he runs out of the bus and towards the back. Alex exclaims I didn’t just see that, god no I didn’t see that boy get hit! Is he under the bus OMG. I was in shock not being able to move or say anything I held my hand to my face, saying no no no what happened. I couldn’t see too much now as the commotion was behind the bus. I wanted to come out the car but Alex stopped me. He said “I know how emotional you are, if he is bad you cant see that. You cant go to work with that image in your head, he is being helped and it won’t help to crowd them. they will need space. “ you cant get out the car.” I wanted to so bad, something kept nagging at me. I listened to my husband disappointed at myself a bit. Traffic was at a standstill until a woman started directing it. cars came past us the car in front of us belonged to a lady and man who ran out, neighbors came running out to see the commotion. the lady took her car and parked it in reverse to the park and slowly we crept up to go by. I needed to see… I had to, I NEEDED TO KNOW IF HE WAS ALIVE. As we drove by, my husband said don’t look but I couldn’t listen again I looked, I saw him laying in the grass wrapped up in what looked like a fleece as the mother cried and others surrounded him. He was moving! Alive! As we kept going my husband was trying to keep calm as he drove. He saw more due to his angle but all I could think was, We just mentioned about the accident before 2 times before it just happened in front of us AN ACCIDENT Ayden was in the back seat so he didn’t see anything but what he did do was hear the poor woman’s screams. Screams that I kept hearing and thinking to myself it was a small child, I’m a mother! I would lose it if something happened to my child. We start to talk about how seconds before it happened a car stopped them from continuing on their journey as it turned into the estate and left them waiting to cross. We recalled seeing the mother looking into her stroller at the baby with another woman before it all happened so quickly. meanwhile, I could feel my body shaking but not visibly, it was from the inside. I don’t think I’ve ever felt that inside vibration before, was that actual shock? Forget how I feel imagine how that mother was feeling, that poor child, the bus driver. he did nothing wrong, wasn’t speeding. The child came out of nowhere onto the road. All I could hear was her screams.

We arrive home and I feel weak, I get inside the house and start to get dressed as Alex locked himself in the bathroom. I continued to feel like I was shaking. How was I going to work like this? keep calm…keep calm …relax…but the screams. Alex didn’t want to drive. but nonetheless, he drove me to work stressing about the fact that he wanted to take Ayden to the clinic to get checked due to his cough and phlegm from being sick since the second day of school. We arrive at my job, I get out Ayden has fallen asleep in the back seat, I open the door to kiss him and I kiss Alex before I go inside. I don’t feel comfortable being here, I think to myself. I walk through the store giving fake smiles while inside I was shaking and wanted to cry but I kept my composure. My friend at work noticed something wrong. I told him what happened and he did his very best to keep me from thinking about it. I tried to even laugh and make jokes to drown out the screams when he went on break, the screams came back. I couldn’t concentrate.

It’s 8:30 pm time for my 15 min break and I see I have a missed call. No one really calls me so I immediately assume its, my husband, as it says NO CALLER ID It happens sometimes…It was him an then he tells me what happened…. The Surrey police put out a tweet for witnesses to come forward with information. He felt he wanted and needed to help so he called. he found out that the boy was 4 years old (Damn same age as my son) We saw him go so fast due to him being on a scooter! He was Alive (thank god) but that the damage was to the legs, we didn’t know how extensive the injuries were but a relief came over me knowing he was going to be ok. almost like something left my body. I was sad to hear he was hurt but happy to know he made it. I’m glad my husband did the right thing in providing what information he could. I thought to myself … I hope there is an update soon, via news or something.

After all this, I can’t help but think the many series of events that led to this happening. The times I worried about the kids on scooters, the traffic, then mentioning of the word “accident” 3 times before it happened in front of us. the fact that the very next day on Saturday, Oct 7, 11 people are injured in a “car crash” near the London museum, which they say is not terrorism-related. Why does the word “ACCIDENT” keep popping up?

#Accident #road safety #RealLifeStory #BeAware #AlbaNuvo #PleaseRepost

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marcusssanderson · 5 years

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95 Love Quotes for Him To Make Him Feel Like A King

Our latest collection of love quotes for him that will make him feel special and appreciated.

These love quotes for him will help you express your love for your man.

If you want to show your man that you think he’s special, reading quotes about love can be a great source of inspiration. Sweet words of love will help you show him how truly and deeply you’re in love with him.

One thing about love is that it can be hard to put into words. But with the following collection of love quotes, saying what you really feel for your man will become a whole lot easier.

Here are some sweet love quotes for him to express how much you love him, show your appreciation and make him feel special.

Love quotes for him from the heart

1.) “If I know what love is, it is because of you.” –Hermann Hesse

2.) “You are the source of my joy, the center of my world and the whole of my heart.”

3.) “Everywhere I look I am reminded of your love. You are my world.”

4.) “Your love shines in my heart as the sun that shines upon the earth.” – Eleanor Di Guillo

5.) “My angel, my life, my entire world, you’re the one that I want, the one that I need, let me be with you always, my love, my everything.”

6.) “I may not be your first date, kiss or love…but I want to be your last everything.”

7.) “Each day I love you more, today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow.” – Rosemonde Gerard

8.) “Being in love with you makes every morning worth getting up for.”

9.) “Your voice is my favorite sound.”

10.) “You’re that part of me I’ll always need.”

Love quotes for him to spark up your romance

11.) “I fell in love with the way you touched me without using your hands.”

12.) “Before you came into my life, I never knew what true love felt like.”

13.) “I love it when you send me those texts that make me smile no matter how many times I read them.”

14.) “My heart is and always will be yours.” – Jane Austen

15.) “This is a thank you for every hour we have spent together, for every kiss, for every embrace and for every tear shed for one another.”

16.) “I just want to lay on your chest and listen to your heartbeat.”

17.) “When I tell you I love you, I am not saying it out of habit, I am reminding you that you are my life.”

18.) “The brightness of my day doesn`t depend on the amount of sunshine. Everything depends on your smile.”

19.) “I`ll allow you to appear in my dreams every night if I`ll be allowed to be in yours.”

20.) “I know you, and I can openly say how love looks like.”

Love quotes for him to have him all over you

21.) “Some people search their whole lives to find what I found in you.”

22.) “I wanna live, sleep, and wake up by your side.”

23.) “Why can’t you just magically pop into my room with me and just cuddle for the rest of the night and kiss my head when I start to fall asleep?”

24.) “I am very indecisive and always have trouble picking my favorite anything. But, without a doubt, you are my favorite everything.”

25.) “I don’t wanna close my eyes, I don’t wanna fall asleep, cuz I’d miss you babe and I don’t wanna miss a thing.” – Aerosmith

26.) “I don’t need paradise because I found you. I don’t need dreams because I already have you.”

27.) “I can’t stop thinking about you, today… tomorrow… always.”

28.) “Thank you for always being my rainbow after the storm.”

29.) “The best feeling is when you look at him…and he is already staring.”

30.) “Thank you, my love, for always making me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.”

Deep love quotes for him

31.) “If I had to choose between breathing and loving you I would use my last breath to tell you I love you.” – DeAnna Anderson

32.) “Everything I needed to feel happy was love. I met you, and now I need nothing.”

33.) “Thank God someone threw me away so you could pick me up and love me.”

34.) “I would rather feel your breath on the back of my neck than have all the riches in the world.”

35.) “I love the sunrise because each morning it’s a reminder that I have another day to spend with the man of my dreams.”

36.) “For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.” – Judy Garland

37.) “No matter where I went, I always knew my way back to you. You are my compass star.” — Diana Peterfreund

38.) “Sometimes my eyes get jealous of my heart. Because you always remain close to my heart and far from my eyes.”

39.) “Because I could watch you for a single minute and find a thousand things that I love about you.”

40.) “Loved you yesterday, love you still, always have, always will.” – Elaine Davis

Love quotes for him long distance

41.) “Morning without you is a dwindled dawn.” — Emily Dickinson

42.) “Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same” – Emily Brontë

43.) “One day, I caught myself smiling without no reason, then I realized I was thinking of you.”

44.) “Absence is to love as wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small and kindles the great.”— Roger de Bussy-Rabutin

45.) “It doesn’t matter where I am. I’m yours.”

46.) “The scariest thing about distance is you don’t know if they’ll miss you or forget about you.”— Nicholas Sparks

47.) “I like the way you make me feel even when I’m nowhere near.”

48.) “I’d rather see you one day a year than someone else seven days a week”

49.) “Your absence has not taught me how to be alone; it has merely shown me that when together we cast a single shadow on the wall.”— Doug Fetherling

50.) “I miss you so much more than the miles between us.”

51.) “This is the sad bed of chosen chastity because you are miles and mountains away.” — Erica Jong

52.) “Where you are is where I want to be.”

53.) “Love is missing someone when you’re apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you’re close in the heart.”— Kay Knudsen

Romantic love quotes for him

54.) “Our time together is just never quite enough.”

55.) I saw that you were perfect, and so I loved you. Then I saw that you were not perfect and I loved you even more. – Angelita Lim

56.) “I realized I was thinking of you, and I began to wonder how long you’d been on my mind. Then it occurred to me: Since I met you, you’ve never left.”

57.) “Promise me you’ll never forget me because if I thought you would, I’d never leave.”― A.A. Milne

58.) “So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.”― Paulo Coelho

59.) “In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.” – Jane Austen

60.) “Then I realize what it is. It’s him. Something about him makes me feel like I am about to fall. Or turn to liquid. Or burst into flames.”― Veronica Roth

61.) “I don’t like to sleep at nights. Minutes with you are much more precious than hours of dreams.”

62.) “I would rather spend one lifetime with you, than face all the ages of this world alone.” – J.R.R. Tolkien

63.) “Everywhere I look, I am reminded of your love. You are my world.”

64.) “Every love story is beautiful, but ours is my favorite.”

Love quotes for him to make him feel special

65.) “I love you as one loves certain dark things, secretly, between the shadow and the soul.” – Pablo Neruda

66.) “To love is nothing. To be loved is something. But to love and be loved, that’s everything” – T. Tolis

67.) “Every day I fall in love with you more and more. Well, not yesterday. Yesterday you were pretty annoying.”

68.) “You lift me up to new levels, and make me feel things I have never felt before.”

69.) “You are my blue crayon, the one I never have enough of, the one I use to color my sky.”

70.) “Sometimes I can’t see myself when I’m with you. I can only just see you.”

71.) “You are my favorite notification.”

72.) “You are my life and the only thing that would hurt to lose. I love you more than anything else.”

73.) “You stole my heart, but I’ll let you keep it.”

74.) “When I listen to my heart, it whispers your name.”

75.) “Forget the butterflies, I feel the whole zoo when I am with you.”

Cute love quotes for him

76.) “I know I am in love with you because my reality is finally better than my dreams.” – Dr. Seuss

77.) “You may hold my hand for a while, but you hold my heart forever.”

78.) “There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

79.) “Love is a friendship set to music.”– Joseph Campbell

80.) “I need you like a heart needs a beat.” – One Republic

81.) “Your love is all I need to feel complete.”

82.) “To love is to burn, to be on fire.” – Jane Austen

83.) “Love is a great master. It teaches us to be what we never were.” – Moliere

84.) “The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.”— Morrie Schwartz

85.) “I’ll never stop loving you. And no matter what is happening, my heart is always with you!”

Love quotes for him to express your feelings

86.) “I will love you until the stars go out, and the tides no longer turn.”

87.) “You are my song. You are my song of love.”

88.) “Our Relationship is meant to be. Something that was written in the stars and drawn into our destiny.”

89.) “The first time you touched me, I knew I was born to be yours.”

90.) “Come live in my heart and pay no rent.” – Samuel Lover

91.) “Every time I see you, I fall in love all over again.”

92.) “To lose balance sometimes for love is part of living a balanced life.” – Elizabeth Gilbert

93.) “One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.” – Sophocles

94.) “You call it madness, but I call it love.” – Don Byas

95.) “Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit.”— Khalil Gibran

Which are your favorite love quotes for him

Every woman would love to share that indescribable feeling of love with her awesome guy. Just like women, men feel special and loved when they read those sweet words of love.

Men also get teary-eyed just the way women do when those sweet words find their way to that special place in the heart. Hopefully, these love quotes for him will help you express how much you love your man.

Did you enjoy these love quotes for him? Which of the quotes was your favorite? Tell us in the comment section below. We would love to hear all about it.

The post 95 Love Quotes for Him To Make Him Feel Like A King appeared first on Everyday Power.

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the-firebird69 · 3 years

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Okay you pig this is how it goes we're going to try it because it will attract people they're going to try and take your body over by putting their brain inside of you is your idea what you say is I hate bjA and they fight each other just like BG and bja fight these are both idiots they talk about it others don't talk about it and sit there and stare and say the greatest and kill each other later most of the time and I saw that and I see that you see it and I respect it and I'm wondering why you're saying to bring more here it's because they're not just thrown away like garbage which is what they are and it should be it's also because the train out there is a damned annoying process that they try they never succeed they're bunch of weird people do you know what I'm going to do lose your brain I just evaporated do it everyday to people yeah my brains doing it idiot.

So I see the respected even though they heard about it over and over and over and some of them seen it and women have itdone all the time

Here too. I got to ask you something what kind of stupid question is this okay you sound like that you wore on sound like that especially You two jackasses. And it's really the half from Azog that wants to take over and do it again so you're kind of knit with me to retards down there cuz you don't notice click and clack here. want to take over his body the whole time.

Joe and Justin that is. They're complete absolute traders to Satanism because they think they'll just take over my business same thing as BjA and a lot of the nincompoops like Dan.

So they're going to argue about it with him to and he knows it's stupid it doesn't work against our tech or against our monsters who scan or robots.

But this is what a bunch of them here think of doing and I said you should just be killing them and he's saying you should be just killing them there's a bunch of them all over the planet and you need to draw them here

So I think they woke up with this idea maybe they were both talking about it just kind of like a risky idea but I've been doing it for a few years now and it probably attracted a ton of them and I look at the stats and it's ridiculous like half of them is fools so sitting here getting away with murder and I don't have that much more to make for our side nothing I need their help but they do open the door and it is probably partially brian Gerard's pLan and he's going to get swamped by him. And BG is one of them. Fool because he has how many would come doesn't get it they've been coming the whole time and getting rid of your people and hitting you oh no he says oh yeah you're the competition. So now I'm starting to understand something how much you freaks change bodies out because you just get destroyed cuz you're old enough clothes and robots to do it and now you're this freaky pile of s*** that wants his body probably like he does he says it's a crappy plan and all this stuff I can try and prove it probably is right now if you're him you're just trapped poor guy it wasn't very closely looks like thiere not.

BG says but is incincere. Yes you are insincere BG but I am watched very closely bG whether you know it or not and you're just asked across the road just get it they're not cops and they're not FBI for real okay they're doing it as an act for the most part but if you ask them what you were doing in a certain day four years ago they'll pull it right out and tell you. They also have the staff that was watching you and they can say what you're doing if they're around still because you're a plus wad you don't know the stuff I know it because I experienced it everyday but I also understand that kids should be able to figure it out oh that guy makes stuff that's worth so much money you can faint from the number. So here's you jackasses you spend every day here every waking hour of the day every minute and every second and you can't figure out what they do this other people around you know what's wrong with you it turns out you're retarded and people figure it out these people are s******** it shouldn't be near him in the first place so what I meant to do I think as possible plan is going to use you and that idiot to get rid of you and it's a vehicle to become free because if I started doing some activity whatever that would be they made it look like I was leader which I'm doing all the time by the way tells you come here that's a war between you morons and other body snatchers and your bosses and other people are more rational and it creates a smoke screen and it also gets rid of higher ups and it is a way to do things and we're right at the point where we're willing the s*** out of you like beating you to a pulp

And this would push it right over the top and you would fall he wouldn't have any time to do some luxurious brain transplant or power but you would need

Zues

we start the type the same thing and then we heard this who the hell are you people to do this to him instead of doing it anyways it might as well point put the light at it and then t for your efforburn all of you, why what do you think we should do just sit here and stare at you now that's not what we do and if we're watching you we're going to do something aren't we. I've spent enough time shouting and yelling at these people I'm going to do a study that shows what percentage is body snatcher and I have it here and it's going up and it says 50% so Thor is going to come down here and grab you

Hera

0 notes

marcusssanderson · 5 years

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95 Love Quotes for Him To Make Him Feel Like A King

Our latest collection of love quotes for him on Everyday Power Blog. Enjoy!