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shizucheese · 2 months

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Okay okay okay, I need everyone to listen to me about this.

I know I kinda talked about this before in a reblog to someone else's post, but the idea has been rotating in my brain ever since and I feel like it needs to be further explored. A lot of people have been talking about the differences between TMA and TMP, and memeing about how people can actually quit the OIAR (which btw, I'll believe when I actually see it, by which I mean if we're able to get through the entire series without Teddy either coming back or turning up dead or otherwise facing "You can quit but you can never leave" levels of repercussions) but like nobody, from what I've seen, has been talking about what imo is the pretty glaringly obvious element at play here. So let's talk about the spider in the room, shall we? What do we know about the Magnus Institute in TMA?

People came there to give statements regarding their spooky experiences, including people who had doubts about doing so (because they weren't sure if the Institute was reputable, because they weren't sure if they believed what they had experienced, because they served a different entity so what reason would they have to do something for The Eye, etc).

The head archivist would ultimately become the Archivist, an Avatar of the Eye.

The Archivist's abilities included enabling statement givers to give their statements without going off track or leaving out details (we even see what happens when it's not the Archivist taking the statement), and being able to compel people to tell them things against their will, from statements to their darkest secrets.

You couldn't quit, at least not without gouging your eyes out.

The Magnus Institute was a part of the Eye.

Or was it? Because the other thing we know about the Magnus Institute is that the Web was using it as part of its plan to break free from the TMA world and gain access to the other worlds out there. How much of the compulsion aspects of the Institute-- people being drawn to the Institute to give statements, the Archivist's ability to draw statements and secrets out of people, people's inability to quit the Institute--was actually because of the Web? Where does the Eye's "compulsion to seek out knowledge even if it could be bad/ harmful" end and the Web's "not being in control of your own actions" begin? Was the Archivist--at least in the form Gertrude and John took--really purely an Avatar of the Eye? Or were they an Avatar of a mix between The Eye and the Web, much like how Martin, if he were to ever become a full fledged Avatar, likely would have been a mix of the Eye and the Lonely, just like his domain in S5 was? After all, Jonah was an Eye Avatar, was he not? And as far as we saw, he never needed to compel information out of people. He just Knew it (and used it to torment people).

One of the themes I've been playing around with in my TMA fanfictions since I first finished the podcast for the first time last winter is how the course of history would be different in the alternate worlds, where the Web wasn't interfering--at least not on the same scale, or for the same reasons--since it had already gotten what it wanted at the end of TMA. And I think that's exactly what we're seeing a version of in Protocol. I think the OIAR is what it looks like when it's entirely the Eye at play, with 0 interference from the Web. The Eye is all about having your secrets exposed, being watched, being followed. The tape recorders--something that would need to be turned off and on (controlled) in order to record something--were a tool of the Web. Now we're "witnessing" the events of the podcast through the audio from security cameras and other things that are constantly running; constantly seeing and listening without needing to be turned on and off. The statements aren't being given by people who somehow found their way to the institute and were on some level or another compelled to tell their tales. They're journal entries detailing a person's private thoughts. They're letters meant only for the eyes of the recipient, sharing secrets not meant for anyone else. They're recorded therapy sessions.

And the statements that are related to the Eye? The ones read in John's voice? They're forum and blog posts, which not only makes them the only ones whose sources didn't have the same expectation of privacy as the others, also ties them to the Web, since computers and websites were previously established as being associated with it.

#the magnus protocol #the magnus protocol spoilers #tmp #tmp spoilers #tmagp #tmagp spoilers #tma spoilers #shizu's red string board

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matthew-gray-gubler-lover · 9 months

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sex with spencer Reid all 15 seasons (season 2)

If you are under the age of 18, please do not read this story. Thank you.

This will cover what I believe sex would be like with Spencer Reid from season 1 to 15. Warning contains adult situations, Sex. Dirty talk, Orgasms, Crying, Spoilers for all seasons and Spencer Reid being a sex God.

Also includes fingering and oral sex. (Female receiving only.)

These are a little bit longer than I anticipated them to be because I wanted to give a back story as to why the sex is the way that it is for each season. To give it in depth feeling of why Spencer was the way that he was in bed that season. So I will be posting them by each season rather than all at once. I hope this gives you something to look forward to, and please leave comments, I will be leaving links to the next season below.

You are a new agent at the BAU and Spencer Reid's girlfriend, the one who takes his virginity and has sex with him for all 15 seasons and beyond.

Spencer Reid knew the first time he saw you walk through the doors of the BAU that you were the one that he was going to love forever. The first time you smiled, he knew it was the only smile that he ever wanted to wake up to. The first time he touched your hand, he knew yours was the only hand he ever wanted to hold. The first time he kissed you, he knew your lips were the only ones that he ever wanted to have pressed against his own. and the first time he made love to you, he knew you were the only one he ever wanted to do this with, and he also knew he would never be the same you or his life now, his love and his only desire.

Season 2

In season 2, Spencer has reunited with his mother after several years and also Elle Greenaway got shot by the Fisher King, both things causing Spencer a lot of stress.

also In season two you two have been having sex for six months now and Spencer is more confident now since he knows that he can give you multiple orgasms in one sex session. And now Spencer

wears glasses. You find him even more attractive because now he looks like a little sweetie pie that you know can Make Love to you like no one else. Giving you orgasm after orgasm until both

of you are completely exhausted and can't move anymore, In which case he holds you cuddled in his arms until you both fall asleep wake up and do it all over again. And when he keeps the

glasses on as he has sex with you WOW, of course you and Spencer are the only people in the world who know that. But now that you know the effect that you have on him, you wear

sweaters and tops They're a little tighter and a little bit lower cut than they need be. Something that you know will turn him on, causing his glasses to fog up sometimes. Something that Morgan

makes fun of him for, "Your little girlfriend there gets you all hot and bothered, huh? Look at you with your glasses steaming up". Of course this is embarrassed Spencer since no one in the

workplace knows what he can be like in bed. According to them he's still a virgin, since again only the two of you know exactly what he's capable of in the bedroom. "What? She doesn't do

that to me?" He shrieks as he takes off his glasses to wipe off the fogginess. "It's just hot in here" he tells Morgan. Since you're on a case as soon as you're in the hotel room Spencer is all over

you. Kissing your lips, neck, any skin that he can get a hold of as He tears your clothes off. He can't wait to get a hold of you. "That sweater you had on today made me insane. I couldn't wait

to get you alone and take it off. I just have to have you", he tells you as he kisses you once more before putting you on the bed and having sex with you. The feeling that you wanted all day. And

you knew Spencer wanted it too. Spencer was so excited to finally have you all to himself that he forgot to take off his glasses once again. This happens quite often as he's always so excited to get you into bed.

After a little bit, you notice that his glasses have fogged up. You start to giggle and he looks at you as well as he can Through the fogginess and begins to giggle himself before trying to take

the glasses off until you put your hand on his and say "please leave them on". Of course he would always give you anything that you wanted, so the glasses stay on.

spencer was always a sweet, kind and loving lover. That was up until Tobias Hankel. You just thought that it was the kidnapping that made Spencer a little bit

rougher in bed. That was until the day that you saw the marks on Spencer's arm that you knew something else was wrong. You asked him what happened. He started crying and told you

about his addiction to diladid, you both cried when he told you, you were completely understanding and just wanted to comfort him and love him and make him always feel safe with

you. And he did, knowing how much you loved him, that you would never judge him for that. After all, it wasn't his fault what Tobias did. The sex wasn't quite as rough after that, and you

were happy with that. The night that he held a vial in his hand, looked you in the eyes full of love and said "you're the only drug I need, I don't need this anymore" Before throwing the vial into

the trash, the last that you would ever see of that drug. Withdrawal was a bit difficult since it did make him angry and he really didn't want to be around you. You spent a couple nights at

Penelope's. But the day that he called you and told you the Withdrawal was over. He made love to you so sweetly multiple times that it made-up for everything that you had gone through together.

#doctor spencer reid #dr spencer reid #criminal minds #dr reid #spencer reid smut

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wukong-s-only-wife5000 · 6 months

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Hey for LMK Mac master list can I request “you see him again” cause boy totally needs more love imo 🤌🏼 you’re writing style slaps btws!

You just gonna make me cry, thank you sm. I totally agree with you, he needs all love. Luckily for you, I was planning to post this today. ;3 Hope you enjoy!

_______

You didn't want to socialize or even leave the house, but one of your mortal friends needed you to go on a double date, which you didn't like but understood. Sisters took care of each other, and it was better to have backup to 'whoop ass', as Wukong often liked to say, than to be alone. You didn't completely pay much attention to the male you were basically on a blind date with. He was okay-looking and as interesting as any other tall and handsome foreigner. You couldn't remember much of what he told you… Like his name, how he knew your friend's date, where he was from and why he was visiting China.

You never expected they would take you both to a puppet show, though. It seemed childish and when you really looked at them, they acted the part a bit too well. He swore that it was the best show they'd seen, but you were only interested when you saw the flier your friend's date had. It was a shadow play… which was much different from a simple puppet show in your opinion.

Ever since your meeting with the emo monkey man, you always thought of Macaque whenever you're in the dark, staring somewhere only to discover it was the shadow of something, or happened to see something that reminded you of him. Did you maybe need to see a doctor? Potentially. Regardless, it was safe to say he'd plagued your mind and, unbeknownst to you, it was just as much as you plagued his.

Before the play started, you caved and decided to get a helping of popcorn and a drink, something your friend complained about since you'd refused when they were buying earlier. Your journey to and from the line and back was infected with Macaque and almost made you order a popcorn with Pepsi instead of popcorn and a Pepsi.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I welcome you to today’s shadow play,”

You couldn't stop yourself from smiling to yourself. You'd only heard it when you’d first met, but you knew that voice from anywhere. He seemed to be using a human disguise and since the boys liked the plays, you guessed that he did them often.

“You like these too? You seem excited,” you didn't know if it was your date or your friend who spoke.

“You can say that,” you trailed off.

It was a brief moment, but Macaque’s gold eyes locked onto your (e/c) ones and his smirk grew before he continued.

“For the new viewers, I will start with the tale of the Hero and the Warrior,” and he did. You were no fool. You could tell that the story was based on him and Wukong. A hero that left his friends behind after obtaining immense power… yeah, that sounded like Wukong, alright. You loved Wukong like a brother, but sometimes he got too caught up in himself that he frequently forgot about others, it was something you noticed in MK too.

“Now, I can tell you about the Goddess,” his voice broke you out of your thoughts, and you noticed he looked at you when he said goddess.

Your heart was already beating quicker knowing he was there, but when you heard his new story of a goddess the Hero once served, and had both him and the Warrior smitten, you knew that you were the goddess reference. He didn't even try to hide that from you… your brain was then quick to notice something; Macaque insinuated that both he and Wukong were smitten with you the second you met.

“This one is so adorable and tragic at the same time,” your friend swooned, and you rolled your eyes at the hopeless romantic.

“It’s kinda boring…” Yeah, you sort of forgot he was there and his hate for romance? It was never gonna work out. Maybe you took it to heart most because it was about you… The thought almost made you want to laugh.

When the show was over, the few people that were there applauded, you included. You thought your friend’s standing ovation was a bit of an overdo, but eh, who were you to judge? You met eyes with Macaque once more before he turned and walked away. Not wanting to miss the chance, you stood up.

“Where you going?” your friend questioned you.

“I'll meet you guys outside, okay?” was all you said over your shoulder before you chased after the hooded figure,

“Wha-” you barely heard her. “Okay, then?”

When you walked behind the stage, you saw a door as it closed. You walked over to it and opened it to be met with an alley and the back of the hooded figure you knew was Macaque.

“Hey, puppeteer,” your voice stopped him in his tracks, but since his back was to you, you couldn't see his grin. He knew you'd follow him, and you proved him right… It made him oddly happy.

“Sorry, miss, but I’m not signing autographs right now,” he said as he turned toward you with a lazy smirk. You could barely see the rest of his face, only his mouth.

“You get people wanting your autograph?” you mused at the thought of him signing autographs.

“Indeed,”

“I'd never taken you for the shadow play storyteller type, Macaque,” you said with a slight snicker, he playfully clicked his tongue at being caught.

“I never thought you'd be the type to come watch one, (Y/n),” he lifted his hood and looked down at you with a slight grin. “What gave me away, hm?”

“Your voice obviously gave you away, dude,” you folded your arms, and a small smile adorned your face.

“Obviously,” he chuckled, “wasn't that obvious to MK.”

“Yeah…” you trailed at the memory of MK explaining the time they went to one of Macaque’s shows and how it didn't go too well. “He’s kinda clueless sometimes.”

“Remind you of anyone?” he teased, which made you laugh a bit.

“Most definitely,”

“Did you like the tale?”

“I did,” you gave a nod. “I guess I sympathize with the warrior… being in the shadow of the hero is something I bet the Goddess can relate to.”

“I bet,” he chuckled softly. “Like what you see?” he asked as he noticed you kept looking over his features.

“I like the real you better,” you confessed and cleared your throat, your words caught him off guard. “I guess 'cause I get used to seeing demons in their true form that seeing their human forms feel… wrong,”

“Oh? Why’s that?” he asked before he chuckled, shook his head and reverted to his true form. “How’s that?”

“Better,” you smiled at him before you looked away and cleared your throat again. “Ya know, since it’s the one I’m used to.”

“Got something in your throat there, (Y/n)? You seem to be clearing it a lot,” he teased. “Too much popcorn?”

“I just wanted to…”

You didn't know what you wanted to do. Why’d you go after him again?

“There something you needed? I doubt you wanna leave your boyfriend hanging,” he tried to tease, but his cocky attitude had a change to it that you didn't quite pick up on.

“He isn't my boyfriend, and never will be either. Not with that attitude.”

Oh, the irony.

“Your failed date, then?” he asked curiously. He didn't know why it bothered him that you were there with another human man, but it did. Regardless of the outcome of said date.

“We’ll leave it as that,” you sighed in exhaustion, he didn't need to know the details. He thought your reaction was kinda cute though… “What are you doing here?” you asked as you finally remembered why you went after him.

“Cause I wanna be,”

“Macaque,” you folded your arms, unconvinced.

“Unlike His Majesty, some of us need to make a living,”

“So you're doing shows for money?”

“Yep,” he said and looked over your features.

“That’s shocking,”

“You work, don't you?”

“Touché,” you chuckled and rubbed the back of your neck sheepishly. “Not at the moment, though… I guess you can say I'm on vaca.”

“I never expected you to be a liar, ya know,”

“What did I lie about?”

“You told MK you’d visit, but every-” he cut himself off and continued, “he said you never showed,”

“Were you trying to see me again?” you raised a brow in amusement, but he couldn't deny that he was caught.

“What if I was?” he stepped closer to you till you were a breath away. “Why does my old pal Wukong get to be friends with you and I can't?” he asked softly.

“Hm,” you looked up at him. “You're in my personal space,”

“Does it bother you?”

“The alley is already small, it'd like as much space as I could get.”

“What if I don't wanna move?” he smirked a bit.

“Then I won't be your friend,” you shot back.

“Oh, playing dirty,” he chuckled but stepped back. “Does that save our potential friendship, plum?”

“You don't have the rank for nicknames,” you stated in a matter-of-fact voice.

“Yet,” he added.

“That might take a long… long time, ya know,”

“I have nothing but time, you know that,” he leaned close to your face. “See you soon, plum. Maybe without a boy toy.”

“Would you rather yourself as my boy toy?” you had no idea where that came from, but you were internally screaming at what had just come out your mouth. Where'd that confidence come from?!

“Definitely,” he leaned back and looked away as you did as you both blushed. “Later, goddess.” with that, he fell back into a portal before you could say anything else.

“Why are the cute ones always so irritating?” you said to yourself in annoyance, but your undeniable smile said you definitely weren't complaining.

Friends. Yeah, you could both work with that… For now.

#request #x reader #lmk #lmk x reader #lego monkie kid #lmk macaque #lmk six eared macaque #macaque lmk #six eared macaque #lego monkie kid macaque #monkie kid macaque #macaque

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kaisntbreathing · 2 months

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A call out to him - obey me Brothers EX reader

Disclaimer this collection of writing contains a very dark and sensitive subjects such as reality distortion, ptsd, panic attacks, denial, and mentions of threats and or violence so if any of that triggers you or makes you uncomfortable I suggest you swipe away now or scroll past this post and if you are still here reading it thank you very much for reading this.

THIS DOES CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR LESSON 16

I didn't include Belphie for this because well he killed us in lession 16 so I'm still mad at him.

Summary: MC seeking out Brothers after having a nightmare of their death

____________________________________________

You couldn't breathe you felt like you were being suffocated in sand but you're being drowned or choked you felt his hands wrap around his throat like it was a handle until I felt nothing. You shut up up right almost flying out of your bed your bed sheets and blanket is now elsewhere in the corner of the room currently your mind was set on one thing and one thing only getting to Lucifer.

Lucifer

You could barely send you felt like you wanted to throw up your legs barely were able to take your way underneath your shaking knees you leaned on the wall for support slowly making your way over to the Avatar of pride everything was so dizzy your head was spinning your vision was spinning you didn't even know if you were actually in front of the door two feet away from you you swiftly open the door flying inside the room with a panic settling over you making you unable to walk or stand collapsing onto your knees you began hysterically sobbing holding your head in your hands

"LUCIFER! HE'S TRYING TO KILL ME HELP!"

"MC what's wrong? Are you okay what's the matter?"

You exclaimed loudly here making you hallucinate seeing things trying to grab you from every sort of angle who thrashed around unable to tell what was real and what wasn't Lucifer now who was in a panic frenzy as well his demon form fully showing out his six black raven like wings spread out his and his horns with their appearance and he was in The stance like he was ready to fight someone.

You couldn't speak not even a small whisper all you could do was shake like a leaf and hyperventilating as you shivered and shook, you weren't a very emotionally open person and he'd never seen you like this before so he was very unsure of what to do.

"It's ok MC, I'm protecting you now, your safe"

MAMMON

He happened peacefully sleeping in his room he's a little bit of a light sleeper but not just any noise can wake him up but when you came tumbling down the stairs panting and crying out his name he jolted awake.

"M-mammon help!"

Almost instantly he was by your side as you shook and cried as you legs gave out on you as you shook and looked up at him, he remembered that look from that today it was the same look in your of fear in your eyes that you had while he was holding your body while the life slowly drained from you, he'd never forget that day nor would he ever fully forgive Belphie for it.

"I saw that dream again"

"It's 'kay now I'm here ok? Your safe with me I promise"

LEVIATHAN

For his entire existence thousands of years of existing he had only felt rage he had never felt despair since he wasn't close to Lilith he didn't really mourn her death but he respected her.

He was a deep sleeper, that is whenever he slept (which was very rare since he doesn't need much sleep anyways) but regardless of he's sleeping or not if you call his name he's there, tail wrapping around you as he pulled you closer to him protectively.

"Mc? Mc what? Where?"

"I died again in my dream"

"oh...."

He remembered that day he remembered not being there soon enough to help you having to feel his back with you fading as his own brother took your life he fully didn't understand how they managed to bring you back from the dead aside from he knew that it was something to do with Barbatos.

He remembered the feeling of his and your back sizzling back to life as they brought you back from the grave he didn't show it at the time but he was very grateful that they managed to do so it wasn't the same without you around.

"Levi?..."

"Yeah?"

"Will you keep me safe?"

"I swear I will"

SATAN

ASMODEUS

She was their sister after all and his little sister.

He knew from the beginning that you were related to Lilith very distantly but I'll be it you were still related to her by some means.

So he would protect you with his life he promised when he made The pact with you, but he failed he couldn't protect you he remembers the day clear he wished she didn't but he did.

He remembered coming too late and seeing your dead limb body in Mammon's arms, cold and unmoving as the colour had drain from your face.

"SATAN HELP!"

He jolted out of thought as he heard your cry as you sounded so terrified as you bolted down the narrow and dimly lit hallway towards his room.

Seconds later he was there grabbing you as his tail wrapped around you as his true form leaked through.

You clung onto him as you trembled violently as you sobbed.

"Please...I don't want to die again"

"I swear I won't let that ever happen to you again"

He usually would be pissed if you woke him up in the middle of the night but when you're the one in needing of his help he's there.

"ASMO HELP!"

He felt the urgency in your voice as he rushed to his door opening it pulling you in his room as he looked down at you, he saw those fat tears rolling down your cheeks and you are disheveled look and you're terrified expression he couldn't help but not be mad.

"I've got you sweetie...oh you poor thing, I've got you"

BEELZEBUB

You didn't think as you had woken up from your vivid nightmare of your own death the traumatic scene that had replayed in your head so many times it would haunt you late at night and wouldn't let you sleep so you didn't think much when running to the twins room knowing that Belphie wasn't there.

As you rush down the hallways you called out to him hoping you hear you as you frantically voice to your fear.

"Beel! I need help!"

He remembers how he felt when he failed to protect Lilith and he had the same exact feeling when he saw that he failed to protect you, and what made it worse is it was his own twin brother that killed you.

But he couldn't hate Belphie for it, he just couldn't.

But he promised after that he would never fail to protect you again.

"I've got you Mc."

#obey me x reader #obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me Mammon #obey me Leviathan #obey me Satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #beel x reader

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nicoline1998enilocin · 5 months

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Dancing in the street

Pairing | Steve Rogers x Civilian!Female!Reader

Word count | ~ 750 words

Summary Steve hasn't been himself lately, so he returns to his roots and goes to the part of New York he grew up in. As he's strolling around Brooklyn, he suddenly spots you dancing in the middle of a crosswalk, and he can't help but smile at your enthusiasm. When he gets pulled into a dance, he lets himself go and dances with the most beautiful woman he's ever seen.

Warning(s) This occurs between Infinity War and Endgame but doesn't necessarily follow all canon events | Swearing.

Request @tittittoee | Hii!! Omg omg as soon as i saw this video I thought of Steve Rogers having a grumpy day and when he saw y/n dancing. He couldn't help but to let out a chuckle. (In the video when she turned to look at the other person while she pointed her hands at them) can it be y/n grabbing steve to dance with her. So they’ll just be dancing in the middle of the crosswalk 🥰

A/n I want to thank you for this sweet request! I enjoyed the video, and the idea is lovely because I always want to make a smile appear on his face 🥰 My requests are currently closed, and I will post the ones I already received over the next few weeks. Thank you to @ccbsrmsf1 for proofreading this one! 🖤

Banners: @vase-of-lilies | Divider: @firefly-graphics | GIF credit to the owner

Main Masterlist | Steve Rogers Masterlist | Read on AO3

It's been nearly two years since Thanos made the Snap happen, and half the popularity on Earth has vanished. Despite all his best efforts, Steve's still adjusting to this, but it's incredibly difficult without his best friend by his side.

Bucky vanished all that time ago, and Steve hasn't been the same. His only tether to the past he once knew and loved is gone, and he's been trying his hardest to adjust.

''He'll come back, don't worry!'' or ''He'll be back before you know it!'' were only a few of the things he heard almost daily, and he was getting sick of it by now.

And that's precisely why he stormed out of the Avengers Compound to make his way to Brooklyn. He needs to go back to where he grew up and where he met his best friend, back to his memories.

He took his motorcycle and drove off, not caring about the mess he left behind right now.

The wind blows through his long, golden locks as he makes his way to his old neighborhood, ready to get lost in his thoughts, all so he doesn't have to endure more pity from strangers, coworkers, or friends.

When he reaches his old neighborhood, he parks the motorcycle and takes the keys out of the ignition before taking in every building around him.

After a short walk of a few minutes, he arrives at the house he used to share with his Mom as he was growing up, and when he looks up at the windows, he feels a lump in his throat.

''I'm sorry, Mom. Sorry I couldn't be there for you before you passed,'' he whispers, wiping away a tear from his cheek, and he sits down on the stairs in front of the door, his elbows leaning on his knees.

His head hangs low, his hands constantly raking through his hair to calm his mind, but nothing seems to work. His mind is filled with pictures of his Mom, but also Bucky.

He still can't believe it's been nearly two years since his best friend vanished right before his eyes. It's been two years since he lost the last bit of hope he had. And it's been two years of a neverending battle.

''FUCK!'' he exclaims loudly, and a few people on the street look at him, but he doesn't care. The entire world could vanish for all he cares, with him included.

He stays on those steps for nearly an hour before he decides to go somewhere else because being here only makes him feel worse, and he wipes his tears away aggressively.

After picking himself back together, he makes the trip back to his motorcycle. He has to stop at a red light before a crosswalk, and that's where his attention is immediately drawn to you.

It is a beautiful day outside, and you take full advantage of it as you stroll through Brooklyn, getting to know the neighborhood you just moved into.

You were bouncing happily on the soles of your feet at the side of the road, and Steve couldn't help but smile at your enthusiasm. Seeing you like that somehow worked wonders for his mood as well.

As soon as the light turned green, you couldn't contain your excitement, and you danced onto the crosswalk and stretched your arms out at Steve, a stranger to you.

''Come on, dance with me!'' you exclaim happily, and Steve does, smiling from ear to ear at your happiness. He lifts your arm to let you twirl a few times before you pull him to the side of the road he just came from.

He didn't care, though, because he wanted to go wherever you were going, too. With a wink, you let go of his hands and turned around on your way to your destination, and Steve was left with a massive smile on his face.

All he could hope for was that he would see you again because seeing you made his day just a little brighter. Even if his best friend wasn't here, you managed to make him smile like an idiot, and he wasn't complaining for a single second.

Suddenly, it felt like a weight was lifted off his shoulders, and the drive back to the Compound wasn't so bad anymore. You showed him how you can make the best out of every day, even if it's just by dancing with strangers on a crosswalk.

And for that, he will never be able to repay you.

#steve rogers #steve rogers request #steve rogers one shot #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers x female reader #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers fluff #captain america #captain america request #captain america one shot #captain america fanfiction #captain america fanfic #captain america x female reader #captain america x reader #captain america x y/n #captain america fluff

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grape-juice03 · 8 months

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Hi!!! If you don’t feel up to it you can ignore this (your writing is so good but you need to take care of yourself first and foremost! )

Would you be willing to write headcannon or about the rise boys with a s/o who likes dressing girly? Like sun dresses and lipgloss and enjoys doing their hair. And when they start dating they’d buy a dress in the boys color and is really excited to show them.

Of course!! I meant to publish a request yesterday!! But forgot due to college life!! So, this is an I'm back post!! By the way, I will be publishing one request a week! This is kind of how I dress, love wearing dresses, wearing makeup, and doing my hair! Come ride the fluff choo choo train!! Also thank you so much for your compliment on my writing!! And don't worry, I do take care of myself!!

LEONARDO

Leonardo knew you loved dressing up, wearing makeup, and doing your hair, unlike April who was more of a tomboy, and had more of a sporty aesthetic, you had more of a cottage core mixed with a vintage aesthetic, wearing dresses rather than pants as it gets hot rather quickly.

You typically bought a dress once a week, so he often tagged along for the adventure, due to him wanting to tag along so often, you went shopping in the hidden city to look for either new accessories, clothing, or makeup that is friendly towards human skin.

So, when you found the perfect dress to wear to your date that was happening tomorrow, Leonardo was not there, and it was perfect since you wanted it to be a surprise, it was white with blue flowers and birds (I actually have a dress exactly like it), it was gorgeous. So, you bought it.

Leonardo stared, as you showed off your new dress, it complimented the curves you had, and despite wearing a tank top underneath it (since you don't like showing your boobs, believe me, I don't either lmao), he kept staring during the entirety of the date.

DONATELLO

Unlike Leonardo, Donnie hated shopping, it was exhausting, and quite overstimulating sometimes with the loud noises, so he often stayed home, and you would text pictures of what you got; he did shop with you every now and then when you were shopping during the quieter hours of the day.

He also knew how much effort you took into getting ready for the day, you would spend a good two hours just getting ready, which included doing your hair, makeup, and getting dressed. It gave you time to wake up and get used to the business of the family day, you visited every Friday and often spent the night.

It was also that day when you wanted to find a dress for your one-year anniversary with Donnie that thankfully he couldn't shop with you, it was a lavender dress that didn't show too much and didn't have that elastic waistband that you detested, it was a sensory thing.

Donnie had heard from you that you felt like you were being squeezed with that waistband. You were so stoked to find the dress, Donnie would be impressed finding that lovely lavender dress. He started to stim happily when he saw you in that dress, he knew that dress needed to be worn every anniversary date, so it hung ever so happily in your closet.

MICHELANGELO

Mikey, like Leonardo, loved shopping with you, he was sort of your personal stylist, and little bodyguard when men would start flirting with you, so it's like a package deal when it came to those sorts of things.

He knew how much you took getting ready seriously, you would always get dressed and would always do your hair and makeup after eating, cooking, or baking with Mikey, these dresses were often gifts from your grandmother and mother that were passed down each generation. So thankfully you were pretty girly.

So, the day that it was pizza night, Mikey didn't come with you, you wanted the dress to be a surprise for him, because you nearly had every color in your wardrobe, except for orange, which not only frustrated you but also him.

So you were pretty excited to find the dress that was sunset orange, every other dress was colored like that bright fluorescent, highlighter orange dress, you nearly ran Donnie over, racing over to Mikey, yanking out that sunset colored dress, "Hey Mikey!! I finally found it!!" You had said, both pumping your fists in the air.

RAPHAEL

Raphael was... the rough houser, ambushing his siblings basically everywhere, but made sure not to hurt you or his younger brothers, especially when you were all dressed up, he didn't want to face that smite again when he got mud all over you and your dress, it took you and Donnie nearly four hours to get all the mud out. That's almost as long as you take getting ready for the day. You wake up at like 5 am so you're all dolled up!

He never came with you to shop for new clothes, makeup, or accessories for your hair or jewelry, so he was surprised to see them tried on when you got home. He was always nervous about breaking something, which I don't blame him, the first attempt at shopping with you, he was like a bull in a China shop.

So you shopped with April, who liked shopping with you, she got a dress every now and then but preferred wearing jeans and a T-shirt, but today was pretty special, it was your birthday date with him, so you needed to find a red dress, but every single one looked like that red homecoming dress from freshman year.

So when you found that gorgeous wine-red dress, you showed off your prize so proudly, Raph was often the quiet cheerer, but on the inside, he was stoked that you finally found a red dress that you can wear every now and then for special days.

#rise raph x reader #rottmnt mikey x reader #rottmnt x reader #rise leo x reader #rise donnie x reader #rise mikey x reader #rottmnt

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fluffytriceratops · 1 year

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𝐈'𝐥𝐥 𝐀𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐁𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐞 - 𝐋𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐨 [𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟔]

Notes: the gif makes me think of the "i got it" moment between Mike and Leo. You'll understand when you read it. My writing is rusty and this is unedited because I'm lazy, so it might be shit. :D Possibly part one? I might write a part two- idk yet. I was in the mood for angst and this has been sitting in my drafts for literally ages so I figured I'd finish it up and post it since it's also been ages since I've posted a TMNT imagine! ALSO- REQUESTS ARE CURRENTLY OPEN! If you would like to submit a request, please do so via asks, and please read my rules on my blog before hand, thank you! <33

Warnings: mature language, ANGST, mentions of addiction, mentions of alcohol, mental/emotional abuse, mentions of depression, brief mentions of self harm, etc.

Tags: @thelaundrybitch @rheawritesforfun @digitl-art-monstr @leosgirl82 @turtle-babe83 @mysticboombox @drowninghell @squirrelfurs @lec743 @post-apocalyptic-daydream @bibiz82 @raphslovemuffin80 @raphielover @tmntspidergirl

(If you would like to be tagged in my future TMNT realted posts (let me know if you want just reader insert stuff or if you want OC related content included) feel free to lemme know and I'll happily add you!)

Thank you for reading! Have a lovely day/night! Stay safe and make sure to take care of yourselves! I'm sending all the virtual hugs to you~! <3

***

Her gaze was locked onto the screen of her phone. She had opened her camera app to double check her appearance before going in, but what she saw caught her off guard. The large purple bags under her eyes, the paleness of her skin. All the weight she had lost was visible in her face alone, no matter how hard she had tried to hide it under baggy clothes. She didn't need anyone worrying about her. She could take care of herself... Y/n knew she hadn't been sleeping well. Not at all, actually. The only time she got the chance to get some rest was when she passed out from sheer exhaustion. Was it unhealthy? Oh absolutely. But she couldn't help herself. It didn't help that she worked two jobs. Ever since her father got fired, she was the one who had to keep everyone afloat. It was driving her mad.

Taking in a shaky breath, she shoved her phone back into her sweater's pocket and began to walk the rest of the way to the lair. It wasn't far. It didn't take long at all for her to get there. Once she stepped inside, she was greeted by the smell of pizza. Her stomach turned and she felt nauseous immediately. Y/n hadn't told anyone that she had gone on a diet. Not yet, anyway. Nor did she tell them she had stopped eating much at all. She was fine, they didn't need to know.

Y/n tucked a few strands of loose hair behind her ear, she took in another shaky breath before walking up to where they were. Their voices were loud and expressive. Raphael let out a bark of laughter, slapping Mikey on the shell in amusement. Leo was busy talking with April, and Casey was stuck chatting with Vern. It was Donatello who had noticed her first. "Hey, Y/n! We were starting to think you wouldn't make it!" He greeted with a cheerful smile.

She tried not to flinch under their sudden gazes. Pulling her lip between her teeth anxiously. God, she felt like vomiting. She needed to leave. "Yeah! You're late dude! What took you so long!?" Michelangelo whined, walking over and moving to sling an arm across her shoulders. She ducked under him before he got the chance.

"N-Nothing, really. Just took my time." Y/n shrugged, shuffling over towards the rest of them hurriedly. She had been dodging their embraces recently, and they were starting to notice. Mikey pursed his lips in a pout, missing the skeptic look on his brother's faces. They had all been brushing off her behavior, but this had been going on for what felt like forever. She was starting to look worse each time they saw her. There was one turtle who knew more than the other's. One who had suspected something was off a lot sooner than everyone else. Leonardo watched Y/n closely. Blue eyes practically glued to her.

"What kind of pizza would you like? We got meat lovers, cheese, veggie-" she cut Donnie off. "None, thanks. I'm uh, dieting." She shrugged, rocking on the balls of her feet nervously. Y/n could feel his eyes boring into her. Her heart rate increased rapidly. Pounding against her rib cage in a desperate plea to flea. Don looked at the other's briefly before turning his gaze back to the female. He nodded slowly, "Okay. Um, would you like something else?" Y/n's hands tightened in her pockets, curling into fists. She simply shook her head. "No thanks.. Not hungry.."

The room grew oddly silent for a few beats. Vern coughed obnoxiously into his elbow just to clear the silence. Leo had yet to look away from Y/n. It made her feel more nervous than anything else. Why was he starring at her? Couldn't he look somewhere else? Just when she was about to say or do something she'd definitely regret, Casey had spoken up. "So, uh, Y/n- I saw your dad today." Her head snapped towards him in a matter of seconds. It was a wonder how she didn't get whiplash. "You did? Where?"

She sounded nervous, and the other's picked up on it immediately. Raph and Donnie caught each other's gaze before the red clad turtle looked towards their leader. Leo was silent and observing. He stood still with his arms folded over his chest. Lips pressed into a flat line and brow ridge lightly furrowed. Raphael watched his brother closely, but his attention was moved else where as the conversation continued.

Casey, who was glad to get away from Vern, stepped forwards. Snatching himself up another slice of pizza. "Convenience store, on West Street. I was grabbing the drinks for today and bumped into him. His hand was all bandaged up, apparently he went to the ER today." He said before taking a merry bite out of the delightful pie. Y/n's gaze darkened.

Stop talking. Shut up. Don't say another word. Please. She all but begged, starring at him numbly. She knew this already. She was the one who dropped him off at the hospital. If it were possible, Y/n felt sicker than before. Her hands began to shake, she was just glad they were hidden in the pockets of her hoodie. She bit her tongue to stop from bolting. Everyone else was quiet, listening to Casey's story. Looking between the both of them as he spoke. She wanted to cry. "I know." She said, barley managing to get the words out.

Casey didn't seem to catch on. Or if he did, he continued to speak about it anyway. "So you know he put his hand through a window?" He was looking at her intensely, hell everyone was. Especially Leo. His gaze felt like fire, burning holes into her skull. She wanted to combust into flames. Right then and there.

"Yeah. Anything else." Y/n's tone grew bitter, and she couldn't help but glare at him. Hoping, praying, that he would just drop it and leave her alone. Casey ignored her. "Well, I know it's your mom's birthday. And I know it's been hard for the both of you. So y'know, we just wanted to check in." He gestured towards all of them, and she barley managed to peek towards them. Had they been talking about her?

"Casey-" April warned, shaking her head subtly at him. Either he didn't see it, or he ignored her as well. "And he was very charming. But he seemed kind of sad. I'd hate to see it happen again, so maybe you should keep a better eye on him." Was he serious? He couldn't be fucking serious, right? Y/n felt like she had swallowed cotton balls. Her nails punctured her skin and she igno red the light stinging. She was staring at a random crumb on the table. Gazing at it as if it were the most interesting thing in the world. Completely and utterly silent.

Leo's arms unfolded and he took a step towards her, but she quickly turned her gaze back to Casey. "Everyday is my mother's birthday.." She started, gaze icy, voice venomous. Leo stopped in his tracks, everyone was looking at her, but she focused on Casey solely. "My mother was born in December. He lied. He's a liar." Tears glazed at the corners of her eyes but she's refused to let them fall. Voice rising in anger.

"And I'm glad- really, I'm glad that you found him charming. I'm sure he was delightful. He's a blast after five drinks. Not so much after nine though, he get's a little weepy and mean." Mikey's eyes widened and he looked towards his older brother's worriedly. She hadn't uttered a word of this before, it was the first time anyone was hearing it. Leo's jaw clenched but she hadn't noticed it. Too busy focusing all her pent up anger on Casey. "He's a drunk. He probably came in and told you how wonderful you are. How he wished he could have a son like you. And how sad he is because he doesn't get to spend more time with me." She hadn't meant to cry, but the tears had started to slip down her pale cheeks. Y/n wiped at them angrily.

Casey stood there in shock, taking in her angry words carefully. He didn't dare say anything, all he did was look at her and take it. "Yesterday he said that I was his favorite daughter. The day before, I was an ungrateful bitch. The week before- he wrote me a check fortwenty thousand dollarsbecause he said I deserved everything life had to offer. Because he was so proud of me. A lifetimes worth of proud..." her voice cracked and her bottom lip trembled. Y/n looked down, forcing her hair to partially hide her face. She tried to collect herself as she wiped at her tears with her sleeve. "You can't listen to a word that man says. Everything that comes out of his mouth is about as many bottles as he can stomach before he either vomits it up or passes out."

"But thank you for telling me to keep a better eye on him." Y/n shook her head and turned on her heal. Storming out of the room and out of the lair altogether. She was tired of all this bullshit.

"Y/n! Wait!" Mikey moved to go after her but Leo clamped a hand down onto his shoulder. "I got it..." He muttered, casting an annoyed glance at Casey from over his shoulder before he chased after the h/c female.

"Well that was a train wreck." Vern muttered, wincing at the glare Casey shot in his direction. "How was I supposed to know." He hissed. "It's not like Y/n's a very open person."

"We all knew something was up, I'm sure Casey just wanted to make sure she was okay." April said, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. Case smiled at her briefly in thanks.

"I wish she would have said something..." Donnie whispered, twiddling his 'thumbs' nervously. "Maybe we could have helped her somehow."

"Y/n's stubborn. She doesn't wanna rely on anyone else. She doesn't wanna be a burden." Raph grumbled, shrugging his shoulders. "Still. I wish she would lean on us a little more. I'd like ta give her father a piece of my mind." He huffed.

Michelangelo's lips pulled into a frown. "You.. You don't think he hits her, do you?" The room fell silent, and everyone turned their gazes towards the area she had left.

"Leo'll make sure she's okay." Don spoke quietly, hands clenching each other desperately.

━

She knew he was following her. But he didn't approach. Not in the sewers, and not outside of them, either. He was waiting for the right time. Giving her a chance to cool off. If anything, the fact that Leo had come after her only pissed Y/n off more. She didn't want to get a lecture from him. She didn't want to rant. She wanted to lay in bed and cry. And she wanted to do it alone.

Y/n managed to hold herself together pretty well. She only let a few tears and sniffles slip out on her way back home. She lived in a sketchy part of the city in a small and dinky apartment. It was her, her two sisters Lucy and Amelia, and their father. Her mother had died a few years back. Her father was never the same after that. He ended up losing the job he had since before he met his wife. He couldn't keep a job afterwards, either. And he started drinking. He drowned his sorrows in alcohol. Any little bit of money he made went straight into alcohol. Lucy was the youngest, she had yet to start high school. Amelia was the oldest. She spent most of her time at her home with her fiance and their newborn son. She couldn't stand to even look at their father. She refused to see him. They always fought, too. Amelia wanted to take Y/n and Lucy with her, but Lucy was in custody of their father. And Y/n refused to leave him to rot.

Y/n's keys jingled as she pulled them from her pocket and jammed them into the deadbolt on the door of her apartment. She knew Leo would already be inside when she entered. And if not, then he was waiting on her fire escape.

The door slammed shut behind her, she kicked her shoes off by the door and walked further inside. There was no sight of her father, so he must be out. Most likely at the bar down the street. It was within walking distance and it was the weekend. There was no way he wouldn't be there. Lucy was sleeping over at Amelia's for the weekend, which meant she was home alone.

The thought would have been extremely comforting had Leonardo not been lurking around the corner.

She passed through the kitchen and walked down the hallway that lead to the bedrooms. Amelia's old room was first, it was completely empty now. Y/n shared a room with Lucy. She was supposed to move into Amelia's room after Amelia moved out, but Lucy didn't feel safe alone. And it wasn't just her father making her feel that way. Y/n was comforting to her. Knowing she was sleeping in the same room kept her calm. Their father's room was the last one. The door was always closed. No one was ever allowed in. He slept on the couch more than his own bed.

The second Y/n pushed her bedroom door open she saw Leonardo standing at the foot of her bed. Patiently waiting for her.

Y/n's gaze hardened, but she said nothing. She kicked the door shut behind her and walked past him to her desk. She needed to do something. Anything. She just needed to keep busy. So she started to organize her college assingments.

Leo remained quiet, simply watching her. After a few minutes of Y/n shuffling papers and slamming drawers he opened his mouth. "Y/n."

"Don't." She snapped, tensing at the sound of his voice.

"You don't even know what I'm going to say..." He breathed, blue; blue eyes glued to her. Scared that if he looked away she would crack and break into a million pieces.

"I don't want you to say anything." She mumbled, voice strained. Her movements had seized. She simply stood there, back facing him. Honestly she was afraid that if she turned and caught sight of his ocean colored eyes, she'd burst.

The room grew quiet again. Y/n knew he was looking at her. She could feel his intense gaze plastered to her back. Studying every small movement she made. The light tremble of her hands. The slight shaking of her shoulders. The wobbling of her knees. Y/n tried to hold herself together. Keep the tears at bay. It was a fools wish.

She could feel his presence. Feel him walking closer. Till he was just a few meesly inches away from her. Leo was so close she knew if she took the tiniest of steps backward his chest would connect with her back. His hand grazed her arm and she broke the silence with a sharp inhale.

And she crumbled.

Tears blurred her vision as she gasped out a shuddering sob. A sob that shook her entire body. One that stole the breath from her lungs and broke her heart into millions of microscopic pieces. She collapsed against him and he held her tightly against his plastron. Strong arms hooking around her waist and pulling her flush against him.

Leonardo said nothing as she cried. It wasn't the first time she cried in his arms. And it most certainly wouldn't be the last.

Nothing was said or done. Neither of them moved. He just held her tight as she let out everything she had been holding in. By the time her cries had quieted, and tears dried on her skin. The sun had started to set. Basking the room in its warm fading glow through the window. Painting the two of them in a lovely array of yellows, oranges, and pinks.

Leo slowly turned Y/n around. Even when she was crying, she was utterly beautiful. Achingly so. He placed his hand under her chin and slowly tilted her red face upwards. Her e/c dewy eyes met his own. There was no longer a wall between them. He had managed to break it down in a matter of seconds. And now, all her pain was visible to him in her eyes.

There was a reason they say eyes are the windows to the soul.

Leo had built his own wall. One he kept up at all times. Around everyone. Everyone except her.

No words needed to be expressed between either of them. They already knew exactly how the other was feeling. With one simple glance. That's all it took. All it ever took.

Leonardo leaned down instinctevly, slowly and cautiously. Waiting and watching to see if she would pull away. Y/n never did. Instead, she slowly and hesitantly moved closer. That's when their lips connected.

A soft and deseperate kiss was shared. He held her face delicately, as if she would crumble into dust in his arms. Y/n clutched at him desperately, afraid he'd see how truly broken and damaged she was and pull away. Leo wasn't going anywhere. Something he told her with his lips as he peppered her skin with kisses. And when he reached her mouth again, he kissed her hard. He poured his soul into her. She drank him up.

As they parted for air. Y/n gasping for a whole other reason. He grabbed her hand and pressed a few more tender kisses to her knuckles. Eyes locked. Chests heaving. Hearts pounding.

Their souls danced the same.

"You don't have to hide around me. There's no need to barricade your feelings anymore." Leo whispered, brushing his thumb against the back of her hand. "You can show me the darkest and scariest parts of yourself. I'm not going anywhere."

A few more tears slid down her tender red cheeks. They caught the light of the sun and shone like tiny falling stars. He brushed them away with his lips.

"Even if I'm destined to crumble into nothing?" Y/n breathed, placing her hand on his chest. Fingertips tracing the markings engraved into his plastron from years of battle and training.

"Even if you're destined to crumble into nothing." Leo whispered, pressing a loving kiss to each rosey cheek. "I'll always be here. Right here. In your arms, where I belong."

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catboybiologist · 3 months

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Holy fuck this got long.

@glorhatransgal asked about my "queer timeline", and I'm making a separate post for reblog control. Feel free to engage in the replies or my DMs, though! I'm a pretty open book, except some stuff I would rather leave to DMs.

The tl;Dr is that I think I knew from the time I started puberty, but I had a weird commitment to suppression and misery. I've only managed to tackle that feeling in the past year or so, and I still need to socially transition.

Long long thing under the cut with mental health CWs!!!!!

I'm pretty sure the first awareness I had of queerness was when California proposition 8 was a thing, in the 2008 election. I was ~10 or 11 at the time, and asked my mom what the big deal with letting two men marry was. She explained a bit, explained that "you'll like girls when you get older but you shouldn't judge what other people do" and then emphasized that I shouldn't really ever worry about dating or relationships ever because I should focus on school.

That was a HUGE underlying theme, not just from my parents, but from the area I grew up in overall. Very high academic pressure just kinda.... Oozed out of everywhere, without any one specific parent or teacher particularly overemphasizing it (with notable exceptions). This came up a lot, and made me feel stupid or vain for engaging in any other aspects of my personality, including queerness.

I remember having some semblance of trans thoughts back in Middle School, without ever learning what trans people are explicitly. None of the adults in my life wanted to discuss the subject, mostly brushing it off as "it's something other people do and you shouldn't judge them". Very little explicit hate, to be fair, which is good. But a lot of changing the subject. So to me, it felt like basic vanity- eg, a shallow desire to be "pretty" that everyone had, of course, that I just needed to get rid of to focus on academics.

And of course, on top of that, I was more tech literate than the average kid. So my head was stuffed with the.... Unique.... Perspective on queerness, particularly trans people, provided by the unrestricted wilderness of the 2009-2016 internet. Since no adult in my life would really address it, it gave me a lot of really bad perspectives on the whole thing.

I'm not quite sure when bisexuality entered the picture, but I called myself "straight with exceptions" from the ages of 14 to 21 at least. My earliest clear memory of being attracted to a man was when I saw Aragorn in LotR for the first time (can you blame me?). If you want to make fun of my little nerd ass more, my first distinct attraction to a woman was probably Padme's midriff outfit in Attack of the Clones. Again, since my head was stuffed with weird ideas of queerness, gayness was often portrayed as a disgust or lack of attraction to women. I didn't have that, so I couldn't be queer, right? "Straight with an asterisk" it was.

Dysphoria kinda crackled in the background and grew as I went through puberty. The way I've described it is that my "resting state" was never happy pre-HRT. I could easily make myself happy and distract from it, but I didn't "come home" to a good feeling. Not an overwhelming feeling, not a suicidal one, but just being miserable in the background if there wasn't something to make me happy.

So when I hit a wall with my mental health in high school, it ended very poorly. I was in mostly advanced programs until then, but couldn't keep up due to things I *now* realize were ADHD symptoms. I had ongoing physical health problems that meant orthopedic surgeries, multiple extended times on crutches, limping around a lot, and ongoing pain and lack of physical ability that most people couldn't see, making me feel hopeless about my body and future. Add in a nice little dysphoria bundle in the background of all of that…and yeah. That's the self harm and suicidal period of my life. I was very weird in high school, oscillating between AP classes and almost failing out. I was also really just... Nasty to a lot of people around me, as a shield for how miserable I was. So uh, if you knew me in high school and stumble across this somehow... I am truly sorry. But I made it through, mostly through the patience and good graces of friends and teachers.

Anyways. I'm on a tangent.

Undergrad wasn't that memorable for my queerness- I lived at home while attending a local state college, and dated one cis girl for about a year there. Years later she told me that she realized she's bi, so that was kinda validating. I dove a lot into a academics, research, and volunteering to distract myself, and was academically successful.

I was asked out by a gay guy at one point in undergrad. He was someone who I had talked about my uncertain sexuality with and helped me work towards calling myself bi. When he asked me out, I got a bad vibe, and told him I actually thought I was straight. He was later arrested for rape. So uh... Bullet dodged? After his arrest, I started openly calling myself bisexual, but didn't really do anything with it- no dating and no community. It was a long time coming by that point, and the experience made me realize that I didn't have to be attracted to *all* men to say I'm attracted to men. After all, I wasn't attracted to all women either.

I graduated from undergrad in 2020 and stayed at the same uni for my MS. And this is where we enter "how much do I say" territory. My MS was instrumental in figuring out my transness, but was also a fucked up ongoing situation that involves several other people's dirty laundry that I don't necessarily want to air. I can talk a bit more about this in DMs if I know you and trust you, I guess. Sorry OP. So uuuhhh... Let's just say that I was extremely miserable and living mostly alone, so in the Fall of 2020, I ordered my first skirt to try and alleviate that background misery. I called myself a femboy as a last ditch effort to “just be a feminine man”. It was a key part of figuring myself out, though, and I loved the online community I made that way. About a year afterwards, I was having a shit time, and started the CatboyBiologist account on reddit to distract myself from it. I worked more and more from home, and would dress up as a "femboy" as I did.

I graduated from my MS in 2022 in a miserable state, probably worse than I was even as a teen. But it made me realize three things: one, some kind of mental illness made it really easy for my life to derail, two, my dysphoria made it such that *when* my life derailed, I had nothing to be happy about, and three, my weird standards growing up gave me the subconscious sense that I HAVE to be miserable, otherwise I'm not "accomplished" or whatever.

That's kind of the theme of my queer experience. I always knew it was there, but I excused it as "stupid" or just ignored it because I thought everyone was supposed to be miserable by default.

When I entered my PhD, I made a promise to myself to get rid of my weird connection to misery, and actually work on the first two. I joined a grad student queer group and started therapy almost immediately. At first the focus of therapy was essentially immediate trauma support. Slowly, however, I was able to tackle the underlying issues in therapy. I also brought my "femboy" fits to events organized by that queer org, and social events with the friends I made there. I fully engaged in my bisexuality and had a hot girl summer last year, dating men, women, and enbies for the first time since my undergrad GF.

Oh, and btw. Being a feminine man gets you laid. I'm sorry, it's just how it is. Take notes, alpha males, and put on the fucking dress.

With that support, I finally started HRT in August of last year, at the age of 25. I'm still a mix of boymode and girlmode- I girlmode around queer friends, and boymode most of the time otherwise. I've also told several people that I'm transitioning, but just to treat me as a man for now and wait for me to come out more publicly. My plan is to take a hiatus from my PhD this summer, and use that to travel and socially transition. So that's my upcoming landmark experience.

Up until this past month or so, I was the happiest I've ever been. Some out of the blue bad things happened this January. But I realized something- for the first time ever, bad shit happened in my life, and I didn't derail. I was sad. I cried. I was frustrated. I yelled. I had dynamic emotions and handled it. That's never happened before.

Obviously it's always an ongoing process, and it's linked to so many details of my life that it's really hard to say things about “just my queer experience” but uh yeah. Idk if anyone read all that and I'm taking multiple passes to trim out details that got too personal, but fuckit I'm already extremely doxxable at this point.

#cw self harm #cw suicide #trans #transgender #bisexuality #bisexual

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bigbropyro · 1 year

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My Pup Side and 10-Year Blog Update.

My name, Big Bro Pyro has become more appropriate than I ever imagined and that fills me with pride and joy. This isn't a post to brag, just a reflection of how proud I am to be a member of these communities. At the end of this post, if you think it deserves it, a reblog would be greatly appreciated.

In December 2022 I visited Bar PM in Saint Louis for an ABDL meet, and it was my first "gay" bar. I met a lot of amazing people and importantly, I discovered a safe place to express my pup side. It was the first place that I saw people openly walking around in their hoods, thankfully I brought my hood with me and when I joined them, it unlocked a new sense of freedom. I've been a Pup since at least 2017 because that's when my first pup hood pictures were taken, but I only played with friends in private up until December.

Since then, I've been exploring the local pup community which has been awesome and accepting, I have met other ABDL's and helped many pups explore their little side that they have been too embarrassed to embrace, I've helped ABDL's explore their pup sides and I hope many more people trust me to help them.

I'm really proud to be a mentor and first impression of ABDL/Age Play/Diaper/puppy play, and I've decided to actively work on helping our communities learn about each other and hopefully be a catalyst to help people explore a new side of themselves.

On that note, I'm loud and proud of my interests in the Saint Louis Missouri area, and even though I live an hour away, I regularly go to meetings. I even host parties for fetishes and I try to be a role model.

I've had this blog for 10 years, and it's been incredible. I've met lots of friends, and I'm proud to say that I've helped a lot of people in some way or another. I started off in 2013 just lurking and I posted pictures, which to my surprise people liked. I initially posted strictly DL content, and after seeing how much fun people were having with their abdl side, I bought my first pacifier and it's grown from there. I have discovered lots of new interests, including Pup Play here, and I wouldn't change it for the world.

Thank you all for helping my blog become the place it is, I couldn't have done it without you.

If you ever need someone to listen to, answer questions without judgment, or have a respectful conversation with then please don't hesitate to message me. I try to respond to messages as fast as I can.

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jakeyt · 11 months

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Distorted Hues

Pairing: Danny Wagner x f!reader

Summary: Sometimes, you have to do a lot to try to get to the top. But things go downhill quickly when you try to explain to Danny why you do the things you do to get there. You had good reason for what you did, he just refused to understand.

Warnings: marijuana use; a lot of angst; mentions of cheating and sexual situations; allusions to depression; a reader who is truly struggling to be emotionally available

Word Count: 1.7k

a/n: when i saw the pictures of him that i used for my cover, i was instantly inspired to write angry Danny. i couldn't stop thinking about it. so, when gvf posted this tiktok, the story hit me like a freight train. i mean, Danny saying "I'll get right fuckin' on it" (iykyk 🫠🥵). . . that was the final push.

and so, Distorted Hues was born.

enjoy!

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From the moment you’d made your way to a sit on the lap of a rotund, balding producer who’d (strangely) attended Woodstock, you knew he’d been watching you. Every move you made, Danny watched.

His dark eyes had been burning ruthless holes into your back the entire time.

You’d always been able to feel his eyes. Even as far back as when you were kids. He’d watch you like a hawk when a teacher would scold you for bad behavior, or anytime you were hanging out with a group of friends at recess that he was (or wasn’t) included in. He had always hated the idea of you being in any sort of trouble. He had been your number one protector since you met each other on the first day of fourth grade.

You knew him like the back of your hand. And your body was accustomed to every movement he made, so you were completely in tune with it when you felt his eyes leave you. And when you glanced up to see where he’d gone, he was on his way to the tour bus. You could feel the anger radiating off of him from yards away.

So, when he trudged back to the bus, you felt obligated to follow his lead. See it out. It made you absolutely furious that he couldn’t understand. No matter how many times you’d explained your (admittedly, slightly inappropriate) behavior with higher ups, he acted like a child.

But you felt the need to explain yourself once more to this precious man you’d loved for most of your life. He had to understand.

You hit the bong of a random Woodstock attender on your way to the bus. It made you amble behind your drummer boyfriend just a bit more, but you didn’t give two shits.

And still, you thought you were a good girlfriend. Because even amidst your burgeoning high, you wanted him to get some sort of explanation. You could have decided to sit with the group you’d taken the hit from. But you didn’t.

Initially, you had felt bad for ignoring Danny to get a little high. But, the compliment you got from the dreadlocked man whose bong you'd borrowed? It was worth it. Better than the marijuana he’d given you. He had offered slurred praises of your band’s set and performance from that day. . .

For a moment, it had made you forget any worry about Daniel and his moody behavior.

You were always overjoyed to know when people had noticed (and adored) your talent. You thrived off of that recognition. You always had.

Ever since you were little, you’d lapped up every piece of fawning you received. Whether it was a middle school play you’d performed in, or today’s performance of yours at Woodstock. . . It was worth it. You’d always worked so hard — especially for this. Your burgeoning fame.

As had he. And he needed to finally understand why you’d been doing what he’d seen you doing.

“Quit acting like a fucking baby, Daniel,” you shut the door behind you, not caring that your tone was sharp. You stomped your way over to where he was pacing back and forth in your touring van, biting his lip in contemplation. He had a hand to his chin. “I know what you saw. I was literally just trying to help us. You know this.”

Your words were ever-so-slightly slurred. The marijuana you’d just consumed was settling in your system, making life hazy. But no matter how foggy you felt, his anger seeped through the haze.

Damn him. Now all you wanted was this fucking high. Screw him and his pointless worries.

“I’m so fuckin’ tired of you ‘helping’ us, y/n. You don’t have to do it by hanging all over every man who has a fancy title,” he turned to face you. He crossed his arms over his chest. “And it makes me a baby? Because I get pissed when I see you, my beautiful girlfriend, being a tease to all of these random ass men? You know they want you and you want that if it gets you famous. Even if it means sacrificing us. Fuck, y/n.”

You huffed, your high feeling distorted and wrong. “No. That’s not it,” you pointed a finger up in his face. “I’m getting us ahead. You hear all of those people on that stage out there? I’m making us like them,” You leveled him by placing your hands on your hips. You stood your ground. “It’s what we want.”

He gave a sarcastic sigh and shook his head, “No, it’s what you want. You’d want to fuck a man to put me in a Hollywood studio? The man who loves you, fame or no fame. . . That seems a little shitty to me,” He shoved his way past you. “No thanks, babe. I’ll pass on that one.”

You were starting to think the weed had been laced with something as the high you were getting wasn’t settling the way it normally would have with regular green. You sat down on the little couch next to you.

He glanced over at you in your state and couldn’t help walking over to check on you. His big, brown eyes were investigating your face. He knelt in front of you, and placed his hands on your knees.

His beautiful, dark brown doe eyes stared up at you through his lightly tinted shades, lovingly. “You okay?” He rubbed at your bare knees.

Normally, him caring for you would make you get so hot you’d make him carry you to the nearest bed. But at this moment? All you wanted to do was push him off and not look anywhere near him.

So you did just that.

“I’m fine, Danny,” you swayed a little as you found your footing, tramping away from him. Your heavy footing shook the unsteady floor of the van.

You crossed your arms in an act of self defense. You knew you’d been wrong for pushing him away, but you were so far gone. Your stubbornness always kicked in when you were inebriated.

You faced him.

You looked him up and down. And dammit if he wasn’t the most stunning man. His white button down exposing his muscular, tanned chest. The bit of chest hair he had peeking out from the open lapels.

His tight, chocolate curls were mesmerizing.

You didn’t approve of your line of thought, but you still spoke it into the taut air stuck between you and your longtime confidant.

“Why don’t you go do it?” You shook your head, instantly regretting your words. And it was as though you couldn’t stop the words that came next. There was a wiser version of you saying ‘stop!’ in the back of your mind, but you continued. “You go out there and find a girl who could help us get somewhere. And then fuck her till she can’t walk. Sex with you, baby. . .fuck,” you grinned in spite of the foul words you were uttering, thinking about what it felt like to have him inside of you. You felt the wise version of you crumbling with each suggestion you made. You wanted to stop yourself, but the devil on your shoulder kept you going. “She’ll do anything you ask after that. You hold a lot of power—more than you know. Take one for the team, Danny. If you don’t want me to be the one to do it, you do it.”

You hated every word. You wanted to bite them all back. But you made no action that made it seem that way. Your body felt completely empty. . .yet so heavy, full of lead.

You were weighted in your spot.

You saw the exact moment his face and chest deflated, losing hope. You’d never seen him in such a way. It broke you. “Do you hear yourself?!” He took a couple steps back from you. “You’d sacrifice our whole relationship for that?” He motioned between you, then decided to come closer to you, still. “All of this—us. . .For silly fame?”

You didn’t want to speak your next words. But still, you did. You didn’t know what had suddenly come over you.

“I don’t want this,” you made a mocking motion of his previous one. Not true. You knew it. You couldn’t live without him. “I want the music. Don’t be selfish, Danny. You’re fucking sexy. Use it. If you love me, do it.”

His jaw clenched. He was done. You could tell. His fists were flexing at his sides. He was livid. Though, you still knew he’d never hit you. That wasn’t this man.

He would, however, punch the next thing in sight, after leaving the area you occupied. Even in his hurt, he refused to scare you.

This perfect man you didn’t deserve. . .

You felt tears well in your throat, but you were so lost to the moment, you knew they wouldn’t fall until later when you reflected on this, alone.

Without him. How without him, though? Would he be completely gone? Would he leave you?

What in the hell had you even said? You shook your head, already not being able to completely recall what you’d said.

You leaned against the nearest counter top, putting your palms against it to balance you.

You watched him take long, heavy strides. You expected them to be to you, to check to see if you were alright. Just like always.

But instead, he went to the door. He whipped it open.

He gave you one last look.

“I’ll get right fuckin’ on it,” he spat in your direction. Every ounce of venom possible sat in his tone.

And then the door slammed, you flinched at the sound. He had left you. Completely alone.

Alone was how you’d cry later when the tears actually came to you.

When the high was gone.

Would Danny be gone when the high eventually left? Your chest hurt at the thought.

Your heart actually ached for him. It was already missing him. You’d never been away from each other for more than a week—in all of the years you’d known one another.

What in the hell had you done?

You slid down to the around, leaning your head against the cabinet door behind you. You decided you’d take a quick nap against the cabinet.

Your thoughts were suddenly gone, washed from your mind.

You were empty.

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a/n: hope you felt allll of the emotions i did while i was writing it :') also, i am very mad at reader for hurting precious Daniel.

#danny wagner fic #danny wagner #greta van fleet fic #danny wagner fanfic #daniel wagner fic #daniel wagner #greta van fleet #angsty angst #my fics

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moremaybank · 2 years

Note

that Klaus is in love with you and you with him and have a relationship, but that Elijah secretly loves you and you do not reciprocate his feelings (headcanons)

being in a loving relationship with klaus mikaelson while elijah mikaelson is secretly in love with you, but you don't reciprocate his feelings would include...

warnings: slight violence

elijah masterlist

when elijah first met you, he couldn't lie, he was happy for his younger brother

klaus had found someone to spend his life with

someone who was kind-hearted, brave, tenacious, and inspired goodness in klaus

of course he noticed your raw and undeniable beauty, but he chose to cast that thought aside, instead choosing to tell himself that now, finally, he wasn't the only one who still saw klaus as someone who could one day find redemption

but then you moved into the compound

and elijah had a front-row seat to the love fest between you and klaus

he saw how happy you made his brother

the good and playful side in Klaus he once knew starting to make a reappearance

he witnessed the loving kisses, the soft words of encouragement

he also heard sounds of your...lovemaking

that wasn't great

but the more elijah saw the way you treated his brother with such tenderness, the more he wanted that love for himself

you two start to bond and that makes everything so much harder

because you're talking about a book you've both read and all elijah can focus on is your lips as you speak to him

and the way your hair falls down perfectly

and how your perfume smells

the mikaelson's throw a party at the compound and to elijah, you're the only woman in the room

he protects you from the mikaelson's enemies like it's his first instinct

when you're working together on missions he's in awe of your intelligence and your bravery

he admires how you would do anything to protect his family just as he would

whenever you and klaus fight, elijah can't help but give in to the voice in his head saying he could treat you better than klaus (hey google, play boyfriend by dove cameron)

he tries to console you after these fights and sometimes his thoughts become selfish

like "what would she do if i kissed her right now? if i brushed away the tears from her cheeks and just kissed her softly?"

but then he's reminded that you're in love with his brother, and he knows his brother is in love with you

and after tatia, could he really hurt his brother like that again?

and the way you make klaus a better person is far more important than throwing all of that away over some selfish feelings for a girl who is taken

so he keeps his mouth shut

although you're not just any girl

you're y/n

one day klaus catches the way elijah looks at you as you walk past him

"longing after something you cannot have, brother?"

elijah brushes it off, "you're imagining things, niklaus"

klaus chuckles sarcastically

"i've seen the way you watch her, the way you act around her. why not just admit it?"

"because there is nothing to admit"

klaus vamp-speeds and holds elijah in a chokehold against the wall

"I SAID ADMIT IT!"

and then you enter the room

"klaus? what the hell is going on?"

and then it all comes out

klaus reveals to you that his brother is in love with you

elijah excuses himself from the room

you walk up to klaus

"you don't have to be so angry. i love you, it's always going to be you. elijah's feelings don't change where i stand"

and then you kiss him and he smiles lightly, nodding

then you go to elijah after giving him some time

you explain to him that you love klaus and that is never going to change

but you also see elijah as an amazing friend and almost-brother-in-law and you don't want to lose your friendship

elijah agrees, but he says that he might need to distance himself from you

and an idea pops into your mind

"have i ever told you about my friend, hayley? i think you'd like her"

a/n: sorry for the late posts, i'm going through my 14 drafts right now and decided to get some done. anyways, since my asks are open, is there any content you wanna see more of? let me know!

#klaus mikaelson #klaus mikaelson x reader #klaus mikaelson imagine #the originals #the originals imagine #the vampire diares imagine #the vampire diaries #elijah mikaelson #elijah mikealson imagine #elijah mikaelson x reader

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matthew-gray-gubler-lover · 8 months

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Sex With Spencer Reid All Seasons (season 8)

If you are under the age of 18, please do not read this story. Thank you.

Also includes fingering and oral sex. (Female receiving only.)

You are a new agent at the BAU and Spencer Reid's girlfriend, the one who takes his virginity and has sex with him for all 15 seasons and beyond.

season 8

In season eight we meet Maeve Donovan. In this scenario though Spencer feels no romantic feelings for her. He just wants to help her as if she was any other victim.

You were so glad that Spencer was finally getting help with his headaches. While you did your best to help him with them, you knew that he needed someone who could do more. You were

happy when he found Maeve Donovan. Not only did she help him, but it was also nice that he had a friend that shared the same interest in books as he did. While you really enjoyed him

reading to you in bed, you weren't as much of A reader as Spencer.

And now that Spencer's head has stopped hurting, the sex has become even more often. He loves running his hands up and down your thighs as he makes love to you.

He also enjoys putting his hand in yours as he thrusts. Interlacing your fingers together as he whispers sweet loving words in your ear is something that you both really cherish.

And you are also planning your upcoming wedding, something that seems to turn Spencer on every time you ask him something about it.

Such as today, you simply asked what flavor wedding cake should we have? Vanilla. Chocolate. Funfetti. Red Velvet? and he simply could not keep his hands off of you after that question, and before you knew it, Spencer had you in bed moaning his name. He loves the idea of you being his future wife.

He even sometimes tells you when he's in bed how he can't believe that Someone Like You would ever be interested in him. You're the love of his life and the only one that he ever wants to have in bed with him.

you are so happy that he found Maeve in fact you asked him if she would like to come to the wedding, since after all she did help your fiancé get over his headaches.

however You couldn't help but notice that the last time he talked to Maeve, he seemed a little bit upset. Not responding to your touch or sexy lingerie the way he usually does. You had just bought a new lingerie set today. When he was talking to Maeve it was black and had a little pink bow on the underwear in the middle of the bra.

You were crushed to say the least. So you asked Spencer if he was OK. What happened? Beginning to think maybe he was more interested in Maeve Donovan Than he was in you.

You asked him if he was OK and he told you about Maeve's Stalker. All he wants to do is help his friend, but she doesn't want him to. He explained that now he was going to have to talk to her

from pay phones so that her stalker couldn't connect him back to her, something that would have been really suspicious to a less trusting woman. But you trusted Spencer with your life.

It wasn't until Spencer didn't hear from Mave for a few days that he began to worry. He enlisted the BAU to help him find her, and sadly she was murdered in front of him.

Understandably so Spencer was so upset by this and traumatized that sex stopped for a few weeks. You completely understood that and tried everything that you could to cheer him up.

Penelope and JJ stopping by every day to check on Spencer, you know meant a lot to him. Even though he didn't open up the door. You went outside and gathered the baskets that Penelope had lovingly left. Filled with nuts and seeds to provide melatonin to try to make Spencer happy, Penelope went all read like she told JJ and did research to find something that would make Spencer happy.

That was until the team was called away on a case that meant that you had to go but Spencer was staying behind. Penelope's baskets continued to come over the next couple of days that you were on a case.

Feeling horrible about having to leave your fiancé behind, you knew that he understood that was the job. You checked in on him as often as you could, to no avail since he would not answer to anyone. not even you This crushed you and broke your heart into a million pieces. That your fiancée, the man that you love with all your heart, couldn't even answer the phone to you.

But you realize quickly that you shouldn't take it to heart, given the fact that he wasn't answering to anyone, no matter how many times they called him.

That was until the time that Morgan called him for help on the case, that he answered his phone. He had Anderson bring him some files on the case and before you knew it you're beautiful, loving fiancé was in the police station with you.

Wearing his slightly tattered bathrobe. But you understood and was just happy to see him.

You kissed him and wanted to stay with him and hold him in your arms, but Hotch told you that you needed to go with the rest of the team and catch the unsub. A man who was draining victims of their blood so that he could paint with the blood. You managed to save his last victim.

The art dealer who did not want to buy his blood art. You were very happy that you were able to save the woman's life, but their main concern was getting back to Spencer.

On the jet ride back, you sat next to Spencer and held his hand the whole time. Morgan and JJ came over to talk to him and they asked if there was anything that they could do to help.

After that day, Morgan, Penelope and JJ came back home with you and Spencer and helped clean up the apartment that he had trashed since you left. After that day he seemed to be feeling a lot better.

He even walked you to your bedroom and slowly undressed you with sadness in his eyes of how he has neglected you over the past three weeks. He feels horrible about it, but you tell him you understand.

The passion had officially returned with Spencer. He made love to you so sweetly that night and told you multiple times how much you loved you and how glad he is to have you. He cuddled.

You tight in his arms at night Talking about your upcoming wedding, he finally picked a flavor of cake. He said chocolate because that's his favorite flavor. Not exactly your favorite, but you do anything for Spencer.

He also helped you decide what color the bridesmaid's dresses should be and where the wedding should take place. Rossi of course offered for the wedding to take place at his mansion, so you took him up on his offer.

After all JJ had her wedding there a year before. After discussing all of this about your wedding, he couldn't keep his hands off you again. Oh yes Spencer Reid was officially back.

Please let me know what you thought of this story, i love to hear from my readers 💗

masterlist

#spencer reid #doctor spencer reid #dr spencer reid #criminal minds #dr reid #reid #spencer reid smut

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ashloring · 2 months

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My tvdu dr

This is going to be explaining some of my backstory and the plot of my tvdu dr (desired reality). This is about shifting realities so if you are not interested please move on, this is also my first post and the first time I'm really writing for someone other than myself so please be patient. I want to start writing so feel free to leave requests!♡

My dad, James, is an Original who is also a witch. After being turned he was a witch and a vampire the first ever of this kind, the bloodline was special. He was turned along with the Original family also known as the Mikaelsons, my father was like a brother to them, after all they did grow up together but we're not related by blood.

My mother Hayley, a witch as well. A beautiful, kind, and loving person with a huge heart.

My mother and father didn't meet till centuries after James was turned. One thing led to another and here I was a blessing, a miracle, a curse whatever you would like to call it, I was born, Ashley Taylor Marshall. Born in the city of New Orleans, but I never knew the city for it to be called home. My mom took me away, away from everything that was the curse to be called the daughter of an Original. she cloaked me blocking anyone who tried to do magic to find me in a town called mystic falls, my home the place I grew up.

I always loved it here, it was peaceful I loved practing magic outside of school with my mom and aunt. They taught me ever since I was a young child. It was always hard keeping that secret just between the three of us I could never fully be honest with my bestfreinds Elena, Bonnie and Caroline. That was until I found out that vampires exist and bonnie was also a witch. It felt amazing to finally be able to share my magic with someone other than my mother and aunt Amanda.

But that was also just the beginning of everything, everything that would be my family's downfall. My mom died, she died in a car accident that I couldn't prevent but still blamed myself for. My aunt was the only family I had left that I ever cared for, at this point I knew my father was a vampire I just didn't know he was one of the first ones ever. They had always kept that from me as a way of protecting me.

Fast forward a year later, word of one of the first vampires to exist were coming for elena, klaus mikaelson. But he wasn't the one to show up it was his brother elijah mikaelson he was protecting elena. My aunt (Amanda) knew she needed to do something because elena wasn't the only one in danger it was also me. She decided it was best to talk to elijah knowing who he was "the noble brother" and the way she saw him protect elena that this was the best decision.

Amanda told elijah everything, how I was james daughter, that i'm a witch, how I'm cloaked, everything. She knew he would protect me and that he did.

When Elijah and I met there was an instant connection. The more time we spent together the more I grew closer with him feeling something I never felt before, I was falling for him. We would spend hours together just talking. Talking about my family history, about his family history and just life in general.

Soon enough the rest of the Mikaelsons were in town throwing a ball. Elijah had invited me, and being James daughter the whole family was intrigued to meet me.

Word must have spread about me and where I was because only months after all of the Mikaelsons arrived in town my aunt was murdered. The only family I had left everything seemed to be falling apart including the other side where all the supernatural beings went and soon enough it was gone meaning my mother and aunt would never find peace unless I consecrate them in the place they were born, New Orleans. I had to go back to the very place my family took me from to protect me.

I started to pack knowing I had to leave and the Mikaelsons offered me to stay with them while I'm going to be in New Orleans. I accepted their offer knowing how much I trusted Elijah.

Being in New Orleans felt like a new kind of home. I could feel my ancestors magic and after consecrating my mom and aunt I could feel their magic as well. Living with Klaus, Rebekah and Elijah was weird at first but it was better than being alone. Going into the French Quarter I was warned by witches left and right about a vampire who calls himself a "king", he didn't let witches do magic. It wasn't until I learned his name that I walked into his home. Marcel, Marcel was the man who helped my mom get me out of New Orleans when I was a baby. She would tell me stories about him how they were close and he looked after her as family would. They kept in contact until they both realized it was a risk. Someone could find us or even just spread the word that a witch baby with vampire blood in her system and the daughter of an Original existed. They had to stop communicating but she would make sure that I knew of the man who she considered a hero and a part of the family even if they never talked again.

There was only ever one time I had met Marcel, I was six years old we got along instantly my mom painted him as my hero and that's what I saw him as.

Seeing him again was a feeling I couldn't describe. Before my aunt died she told me that he was a vampire but I never thought I would see him again. We started to talk and then I told him why I was brought into town. He tried not to react too much about their deaths knowing it was already hard enough for me to talk about, but he promised me that he would be there for me that we were family.

Marcel ensured me that my father wouldn't be a problem knowing that when my mom and aunt died their magic died along with them not cloaking me anymore. He told me that James was daggered and locked away.

Elijah and I had been getting even closer, considering we live in the same house. But he was holding himself back I just lost my aunt and he didn't want to hurt me in any way he didn't have much luck with relationships in his past. There was alot of tension, moments we would be together and all I wanted to do was kiss him and he knew that.

He was talking to me about why he couldn't bring himself to pursue a relationship with me, he saw himself as someone who could hurt me...a monster. But I didn't see him as a monster I saw him as someone who would do anything for his family, someone who has remorse and someone that I have come to love. It was at that moment that he gave in and kissed me it felt like the whole world had stopped like it was just him and I left and nothing else mattered. His kiss was passionate and full of love it was like we fit together perfectly this is what I wanted as soon as I laid eyes on him, its what he wanted...but wouldn't give himself. Now was all that seemed to matter. When he pulled away we were still for a moment, looking into each others eyes everything about it was perfect.

This was the confirmation that we both needed. I wanted to be with him forever, until forever ended.

#elijah mikaelson #the vampire diaries #the originals #shifting #reality shifting #desired reality #tvdu #tvd #mikaelson #to

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anuninterestingperson · 3 months

Note

Isiloop?

(ask meme here) fullgame isat spoilers including two hats below the cut

ok so. a fun fact about why i started playing isat specifically when i did lol. is that i was planning on playing it, but in that nebulous adhd sort of 'i want to play this, who knows when it will happen though!' way, and what actually gave me the motivation to start last november was that i saw a post implying that loop was gay for sif. i played the prologue right before isat, so i knew isa had a thing for sif and i shipped it immediately, but i also always had an eyes emoji set loop's way.....just in case, y'know.......and loop says SO many vaguely fruity things about sif lol. but i was like ok isafrin canon, i'll write something for that. but i couldn't think of anything until somebody on isatcord (i think jokingly) mentioned isa/sif/loop and at first i was like 'yeah sure haha' and then i was like. wait. no. no that works. that works very well actually. oh my god that works SO well. and i have been lost in the sauce ever since

my favorite thing about sif and loop together is that they are the people who uniquely have the most power to hurt each other but also the most power to help. like that moment in the touch therapy sequence where loop reaches out to sif when nobody else can, when sif tells loop that they don't need to talk they can just sit together and then they sit silently....it's such a good dynamic.....sif and isa are obvious, they're both so sweet and they can do so much for each other. help each other know that they are both loved no matter what! and then loop and isa, god there's so much angst there because loop knows the isa they shared everything with is gone but isa is still isa, and isa has so much love to give and would have so much to give to loop in particular....all together i just think they would heal each other so much you know? sif and loop know each other and their circumstances better than anybody else can, isa loves them both, and they both love isa enough to help him with knowing that he deserves that no matter who he is or how he changes or doesn't change. head in hands there's just so much love there it makes me emotional

apparently 'sloopis is a shitty shipname' is an unpopular opinion now???? what have i done. /hj ummmm idk what else might there be 🤔 idk! i think it's a new enough ship it hasn't had much of a chance to accrue a lot of bad opinions hahaha

#isat spoilers #in stars and time spoilers #isat two hats spoilers #ask meme

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nofomogirl · 9 months

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Introductions in opening scenes from Good Omens S1 and S2

It's time to revisit the walls of Eden scene after all the new info from the new season (part 1? nor promising, but maybe it's just part 1)

Warning: This post contains very minor spoilers for season 2. Mostly, as the title suggests, from the opening scene. But if you haven't seen the show yet and don't know what the opening scene is, I suggest you come back after watching because it's OMG.

In Good Omens the book the very first line of dialogue is "I'm sorry, what was it you were saying?" strongly implying that we've started listening to Aziraphale and Crowley mid-conversation. They are introduced to us, the readers, in the narrative bits, but the names are never used in actual dialogue.

Maybe they had introduced themselves earlier, maybe they didn't. Maybe they didn't need an introduction, maybe they did. We don't know and it doesn't matter. The authors wanted us to focus on the conversation at hand, not on their relationship. An angel and a demon on the walls of Eden are just an excuse to discuss certain ideas.

The show changes the scene a little and makes some things more explicit. We now know for sure that what we saw was the entire conversation because we were shown how it started. We now know for sure that (1) Aziraphale never gave his name, (2) Crowley never asked for it, (3) Crowley gave his name (4) but only after Aziraphale gently pressed him to.

After season 1 I was mostly looking at it from a practical perspective, probably because I like comparing how different kinds of media can convey information, and I mostly focused on how the book was translated into the show.

From that perspective, it was okay to cut the information that the angel's name was Aziraphale from that first scene, because we were going to learn it soon enough anyway, and there was no point in disrupting the flow of the conversation to include it. However, we needed to know that the serpent's name was Crawly because it was going to change and changes in Crowley's name are important. So it was justified to take this information from the narration and squeeze it into the dialogue. But in the most unintrusive way possible.

Of course, that doesn't mean I have never considered the in-universe significance of their introduction/lack of introduction in Eden. However, my headcanon was that the S01E01 opening was their very first meeting, and season 2 proved me wrong, so I will skip my old theories here.

Instead, let's look at S02E01 and S01E01 side by side.

S01E01 Aziraphale never gave his name / S02E01 Crowley never gave his name

We now know that Aziraphale hasn't introduced himself in Eden because they had met before.

But why has Crowley done the same among the stars? It couldn't be that they had already met even earlier, because if that was the case why would Aziraphale introduce himself then?

I believe one of the main reasons is that we're not supposed to know Crowley's angelic name. At least not yet, maybe not ever (I hope we will never learn it, since it is his dead name).

But that again is not an in-universe explanation.

Have you noticed how throughout season 2 two characters expected Crowley to know them, but he didn't? Sure, there's always memory manipulation theory, but honestly, I'm beginning to believe that he simply doesn't pay attention to people around him. And the way he acted towards Aziraphale seems to confirm it. He called out to a passing angel simply because he needed a hand. He wasn't looking for company and would be perfectly happy if Aziraphale left immediately after, leaving Crowley to enjoy his creation alone. It takes considerable effort on Aziraphale's side to engage Crowley in the conversation.

S01E01 Crowley never asked for Aziraphale's name / S02E01 Aziraphale never asked Crowley for his name

Again, because they had already met before Eden.

Right?

It is a valid explanation, obviously, but I'm not entirely sure that's the case. I think it's quite possible, that Crowley didn't remember Aziraphale just like he didn't remember Saraqael or Furfur. I know we wish to think Aziraphale was special and must have left an impression but I see no evidence of that in pre-Fall Crowley's behaviour. Quite the opposite.

I think the reason Crowley didn't ask Aziraphale for his name might have been because, as usual, he didn't care.

Unless, of course, they met before the Fall more than just this once and got to know each other better.

Ok, so why Aziraphale didn't ask Crowley for his name among the stars? I think we can rule out not being interested. Perhaps it was a sign of social awkwardness and insecurity; after he introduced himself and Crowley failed to reciprocate, he got discouraged? Not impossible, but it's not speaking to me.

My (veRy oRigINal) theory is that Aziraphale didn't ask because he already knew. It was the first time they were speaking face to face, but he was aware of Crowley before. Maybe because Crowley was a high-ranking angel and everybody knew who he was. Or maybe he personally caught Aziraphale's interest for some reason, hmm?

S01E01 Crowley gave his name / S02E01 Aziraphale gave his name

Now this is where things get really interesting.

Remember the "Crowley fell first" theory? It was neat, wasn't it? Unfortunately, it's going out the window now, because it couldn't have been any more obvious that Aziraphale had a massive crush on pre-Fall Crowley and in the creation scene he was bending over backward to flirt with him and extend their interaction. What's more, Crowley wasn't particularly interested!

Aziraphale introduces himself completely unprompted and seems so incredibly happy that he can. Crowley's reaction is a "nice meeting you", that sounds an awful lot like "whatever, bye".

After that, I will never be able to see Crowley's reaction to "I gave it away" and not think about how in season 2 he says "it is always too late"...

Ok, now let's have a look at the moment Crowley introduces himself in Eden.

He doesn't do it on his own. He only responds when Aziraphale shows interest.

Aziraphale doesn't explicitly ask Crowley for his name. He just talks to him, reaches a point when it would be natural to address him by his name, and suspends his voice. Crowley gets the hint and fills his name in. Aziraphale repeats it, Crowley gives him a little nod, and the conversation continues smoothly.

Before season 2, I just thought that it was a courteous gesture proving that Aziraphale sees Crowley as a person.

Season 2 makes it a little more complicated.

When Aziraphale stops mid-sentence at the point where Crowley's name should be, was it fully conscious? Was he going to use Crowley's old name and realize last moment, that he shouldn't? If so, what was his reason? Was it out of respect for Crowley, who might not identify with that name anymore, or was it because he believed a demon had no right to an angelic name? Or maybe it would be simply too painful for Aziraphale himself?

I'm going to stop here, but honestly. After you're done crying after the S2 finale, I strongly suggest watching the S2 opening scene, and then the S1 Eden scene. A new perspective really adds to it!

Then watch S2 opening again followed by the rest of S2 because we want to create numbers and make S3 happen.

#good omens 2 #good omens season 2 #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #good omens meta

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