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viperwhispered · 17 days

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Too Hard

Woop part 2 of the trip inside Jamil's head. Part 1 here.

The next time Jamil caught sight of you on campus, his first instinct was to turn around on his heel.

What a stupid thought to have because of you.

Besides, that would only make him more conspicuous, not less.

So, when your eyes met his, Jamil gave you a short nod in greeting. He would’ve left it at that and kept on his way, had you not walked up to him.

“Hi Jamil! How’s it going?” you said with that impossibly disarming smile of yours.

Why was it so difficult to look at you like he normally would? You had no right to make him feel so stiff, so unnatural.

On autopilot, Jamil exchanged a few pleasantries with you - those lessons from his parents had been instilled too deep in him for him to falter too badly in a simple exchange such as this. Still, Jamil quickly excused himself by telling you he still had to find Kalim before his next class.

Jamil didn’t miss the way your smile faltered. Had you hoped to get something out of him?

“Oh, okay. I’ll see you two later, then.”

Something about that irked him, though Jamil did not allow himself to dwell on it further.

His heart really had no business still racing as it did when he walked away, unaware of the frown on his face.

Just act normal. That’s all he needed to do.

After all, he had no time for dwelling in silly fancies.

If Jamil had been acutely aware of you before, it only seemed to worsen now that he was making a conscious effort to not act any differently with you. In fact, the harder he tried to keep you out, the more you invaded his thoughts, unsettling him.

The most innocuous words from you looped in his mind, and even the simplest actions caught his eye. For goodness's sake, he’d found himself staring at you while you were queueing up in the cafeteria the other day, not even doing anything other than standing around and looking bored!

For once, Jamil found himself grateful for all his duties. At least they provided him with something else to occupy himself with.

After all, if he was busy enough, it was difficult to think about those bright eyes of yours, your sweet laugh, or the way you bit your lip while thinking.

Still, sometimes it felt like no matter which way he turned, you were there, ready to throw him off-kilter. Not like it was his fault that often the most convenient route to class intersected with your daily routines. Or that your face seemed to jump out from any crowd, catching his attention.

Which certainly did not help his basketball performance. Jamil certainly did not recall you having such an interest in sports before, yet suddenly you were always there, distracting him. What had changed?

Could you possibly-

Jamil scoffed to himself, forcing his thoughts back on track for the nth time that day.

He picked up the tray of food and started taking it to Kalim. After dinner, he’d need to help Kalim with his homework, there were some housewarden tasks that would need dealing with, not to mention the preparations for the next-

Jamil froze in his tracks.

The voice he heard was quiet, but it was unmistakably you.

Really, it should not have come as such a surprise to him. You had become a rather frequent visitor to Scarabia, and Kalim often invited you to stay for meals. In fact, Jamil had started planning the dorm’s meal prep with your tastes and dietary restrictions in mind, just in case.

Jamil rounded the corner with strange exhilaration, his heart fluttering needlessly.

Yet, his mood evaporated when he saw you.

Why did you stop talking and look so guilty as soon as you caught sight of Jamil?

Jamil knew that look you gave to Kalim, had used it himself a thousand times. The one telling Kalim to keep quiet about something.

What could there possibly be that you would be comfortable sharing with Kalim, but not with him? That would give Kalim reason to sit so close to you, a comforting hand on your shoulder?

Jamil's mind raced with possibilities, yet could not settle for any single explanation.

He’d have to ask Kalim about it later.

Jamil gave you a short, polite greeting, his eyes lingering on you in an attempt to read what you were hiding.

“If I’d known you were coming over, I would’ve prepared something for you to eat as well,” Jamil said, already thinking about which parts of the dorm’s dinner to spruce up for you.

“Oh, no need, just figured I’d pop by. I’ll get out of your hair soon enough,” you said, something sheepish about your expression.

As expected, Kalim asked you to stay and dine with them, and with just a bit more persuasion you agreed - though not before telling Jamil that he should join you too and have himself a breather.

And since Kalim agreed with you, Jamil soon found himself sharing a meal with you and Kalim. Yet, even as he sat down with the food, his mind raced.

Had you been getting particularly close to Kalim lately? But surely Jamil would’ve noticed such a thing. Maybe someone from the dorm had been giving you trouble? But if that was the case, then surely you could let Jamil know about it, too. Unless for some reason you did not want to? But if it was something that concerned Kalim, then sooner or later it was bound to concern Jamil, too.

All the while, Kalim was talking to you about this and that, the latest topic being the animals kept on the Asim estate.

“I’ve got some pictures, let me show you!” Kalim said with an excited grin.

Only, a thorough patting of his pockets and a look around confirmed that Kalim’s phone was nowhere to be seen.

Jamil pinched the bridge of his nose. Where had Kalim left it this time?

Before Jamil even had the chance to say that he would handle it, Kalim sprinted off. Jamil hesitated for a moment, automatically halfway up from his seat, before he decided that leaving a guest unattended would be a worse offense than not helping out his master.

Jamil slumped back down with a sigh, mentally tracing the path Kalim took today, trying to recall the last time he saw Kalim handle his phone.

“Breathe. He’ll manage,” you said. There was the faintest of smiles on your lips, and Jamil could not decide if it was knowing or amused. Perhaps both.

Somehow, despite his frustration, Jamil’s own lips wanted to curl up too.

“Hmm. Maybe he will.”

Sure, Jamil could’ve called Kalim’s phone, to make it easier to find, but it was not that urgent, was it?

Jamil took another bite of his food, keeping an eye on you from the corner of his eye.

How was his mind so empty and so buzzing at the same time?

“You know-”

“So-”

You looked at each other, both just as surprised that the other had spoken up at the same time.

Even your surprised look was so-

“You first,” Jamil said. The way you bit your lip... Jamil had to raise a cup to his lips, slowly sipping his drink.

“Just… Feels like it’s been quite a while since I’ve seen you be still, you know. Or exchanged more than two words with you,” you said. You were attempting a light, joking tone, yet it was quite clear there was more to it.

“You say that like it would be unusual for me to be busy.”

He was not prepared for the way your soft sigh tugged at his heartstrings.

“No. It is not.”

You were both quiet after, poking at your meals. Normally, Jamil would’ve cherished such a moment of peace, yet this particular silence between you two was decidedly awkward.

Where was your usual chatter? Why weren’t you looking at him like you usually did?

“If you’re worried about me, don’t. I’m fine,” Jamil said, some softness creeping into his tone despite his best intentions.

“That's what Kalim said too,” you said. Yet the way you looked at Jamil made it clear you were still skeptical.

Wait.

Had you clammed up earlier because it had been Jamil you had been talking about with Kalim? That Kalim had comforted you about?

The thought twisted his stomach into knots.

Hasdhfsdf the way I fought with that last scene I swear. I don't even want to know how many versions I went through, trying to figure out how to say what I wanted without rubbing it into your face or making it too veiled. The joys of trying to convey things through a limited pov. Hopefully it came out reasonably balanced in the end. Rip to all those sentences that were lovely on their own but didn’t work for the whole. Hopefully I can rehome y’all one day. I do have thoughts for part 3 and part x (might be some chapters between those two as well, who knows at this point), so maybe we'll see those at some point, too. Tag list: @colliope @crystallizsch @diodellet @jamilsimpno69 @jamilvapologist @twstgo If you'd like to be tagged for future works, let me know! (Just be aware that sometimes I do also write nsfw, though you can certainly ask to be tagged only for particular kinds of works.)

#twisted wonderland #jamil viper #twisted wonderland x reader #jamil viper x reader #ner writes #jamil definitely knows how to deal with his feels #also writing this is making me wonder how aware jamil is of his inner versus outer life #like he’s very aware of how he comes across because that’s what he’s been told to watch out for #but how well has he truly learned to understand himself and his own feelings wants etc?#(I mean as you can tell I’m assuming not very well)#originally this went to more of a “jamil hears just the wrong part of the conversation” route but #a) I kinda hate that trope especially when it’s dragged on beyond belief and #b) Kalim maybe doesn’t want to spill anyone’s secrets but he really is such an open book especially with Jamil so #also it’s not like jamil needs the extra help to catastrophize he already does that well enough on his own 🙃#tho then I went a little too far in the other direction and had to pull back #but let's just hope I didn't edit this to death by now #also also: since I seem to have a bit of a naming theme going on for this series #if I were to be the sort to go for the angst route what part would definitely be titled Too Late or something along those lines #also x3 but loved folks commenting on that part about reader being inoffensive in the first part #I certainly had fun writing that line #(and in general extra love to everyone who leaves comments on tags replies wherever always great to read those)#(and in general chat with y'all)

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ask-the-totally-real-peppino · 11 months

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That cute bunny girl is called Noisette.Can you please tell me what you cooked besides pizza?

Pep: "...!"

Pep: "Si! Noisette was her name! Grazie friends! And grazie for Poco Noisette!"

Pep: "…Reh ot yrros yas ot deen I... Niaga reh ees nac I epoh I…"

Pep: "Bocnroc etalocohc ekil! Wonk I sepicer rehto eht fo emos em thguat ehs! Ssendnik reh rof reh knaht ot deen osla I tub."

Pep: "Enoyreve deef ot dah I tahw htiw dluoc I revetahw gnikam yltsom saw ti. Oot gnikab fo stol dna atsap fo stol saw ereht, azzip sediseb dekooc I tahw rof sa."

Pep: "Niaga yrt ot ecin eb dluow ti os, elihw a ni nevo gnikrow a dah t'nevah I. Noos gnikooc emos uoy wohs nac I ebyam!"

Pep: "Yrros... Naem uoy ohw wonk I kniht t'nod I... 'Sessob niam'...? Noitseuq rehto eht dna..."

#pizza tower #fake peppino #brick the rat #story post #translation: “...I hope I can see her again... I need to say sorry to her...”#“But I also need to thank her for her kindness. She taught me some of the other recipes I know! Like chocolate corncob!”#“As for what I cooked besides pizza there was lots of pasta and lots of baking too.”#“It was mostly making whatever I could with what I had to feed everyone.”#“Maybe I can show you some cooking soon! I haven't had a working oven in a while so it would be nice to try again.”#“And the other question... 'Main bosses'...? I don't think I know who you mean... Sorry...”#and we're back!#another plush for da collection and Pep gets his own pouch!#well it's an apron pocket but still hehe #he was gonna get it anyways before I showed Cake so shush!!!#also little hint for my tag readers: it might be helpful to describe the other bosses to Pep!#he didn't leave his floor so he may not know the others just by name

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lunarharp · 9 months

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you can now buy my little orufrey zine i made!

a 36 page, b&w a5 amateur zine made up of orufrey art i've drawn this year so far. alone is £6 + shipping and they can also come with a mini print add-on, a 4x6 photo print for £8.50 total.

the first 6 orders will come with a free official bromide :)

#i have 2 easthies 2 coco 1 tartah and 1 olruggio -#i don't really know how to gauge this or how many i'll sell or how quick or anything really so uh..assume you're just getting the zine..#but if you want this and you order asap then let me know in the notes if you'd like any of them or you'd not want a certain character haha #AND BEAR WITH MEEEEE this is the first time i've ever done something like this! it took kinda a lot of setup #but it seems bigcartel is pretty nice. we'll see how this goes lol #idk if that's even too much or too little for a zine but someone advised me that it's fine so...That's how it goes #it's all art that's online anyway haha but i'm like..disabled and stuff..it's a way to help me out & own my art @ the same time if u want..#this is my first ever time printing my own work so it's not like. professional quality #but this is how 'zines' are supposed to be after all!#international shipping btw! shipping won't be too much since it's less than 100g and same whether or not there's a print/bromide!#i think i can ship anywhere?????? the royal mail said so.....i hope that's true...#paypal or stripe is ok btw.. if this goes well i will make and sell more stuff...i like printing..#OH BRUSHBUG AND TASSELS NOT INCLUDED............they are my friends

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little-pup-pip · 2 months

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Uhm so I was wondering, how you tell someone you are agere and petre. I have a really close friend and I would like them to know

Hello! This is a complicated topic that most of us have to face at some point. Of course, I don't know your friend, and I can't give you a perfect step-by-step guide for your individual situation. I'm also not great at giving advice in general. Still, I can tell you about my experiences with this and how I told people!! I hope this helps!

The first person I ever told was my best friend. The circumstances are strange, though, because it was when they were telling me that they regress! When they were finished, I was just like "!! Me too!!!" And we were both very relieved that everything was out in the open. This story was amazing when it happened, but it probably isn't an educational lesson because there often isn't a perfect opportunity to tell someone something so personal.

That's where we get into the second person I ever told! My dear, at the time ignorant, boyfriend. I was afraid to tell him initially, even though I knew deep down he wouldn't react poorly. This story is kind of funny as well because my extensive, mentally planned-out discussion with him didn't actually end up happening either. Instead, I involuntarily regressed right in front of him!

He had no idea what was happening, and was very surprised by the whole situation. Eventually, when I was able to actually participate in an adult conversation, we talked it through, and I explained everything to him. He had lots of questions, and it took him a while to figure out his feelings and role in the whole thing. Even then, confused and caught completely off-guard, he was very open-minded because he cares about me, and he's my CG now!

I think it's important to talk about these things in a mature, open-minded, and loving way that allows both sides to express their thoughts. If your friend has no experience with Agere or Petre, they're probably going to have questions and maybe a knee-jerk reaction that seems negative. Perhaps they'll need time to think about it, or do research, or talk through it. Maybe they'll surprise you! All you can do is be patient and honest with them and hope that they're a true friend who will support you no matter what.

As you've just read, I never really had a serious, planned-out discussion where I sat someone down and revealed my secret to them unprompted, as you likely plan to. Clearly, you trust this person. Therefore, the relationship you share is presumably strong enough to allow you both to be your authentic selves without judgment or fear. The fact that you want to tell them at all says a lot about how much you care about them, so the only thing left to do is go for it!

#I wish you the best in this friend!#and i would love to hear how it goes if you want to tell me!#it can be a hard conversation #and I've heard about it going poorly before #I'm lucky to have people around me who allow me to be myself in this way #I hope everything works out well for you too!#I hope this helps at least a little #i tried my best #Pip's barks

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itty-bitty-sunshine · 1 month

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I know this is random but reading your blog and seeing your art made me so motivated I made my 1st animation ever (not counting pixel art ones), after not drawing digitally in months and it looks kinda basic and it isn't colored but I made it and I'm really happy with it so I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you for motivating me to make digital art again! I hope you have a wonderful day/night :)

MKJSJWJW HI!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TELLING ME THATS GREAT!!! Animatics need time and patience so the fact you went straight for it is so cool!!!! I bet it looks lovely!

Hope you have the greatest day/night too!

#I'm gonna go in a bit of a ramble in the tags because this got to me #but this legit means the entire world to me #i had ups and downs and good and bad times so its something i even forgot about for a while #but all i ever wanted was to make silly things and have those silly things be of help to someone #that has always been like. my main objective and reason as an artist other than liking to draw #i always hear about the potential i got to helping out in the world and yada yada and i decided i wanted to make it in the unconventional-#and small ways. i wanted to make people happy. entertain them when they are going through something. inspire to see things in a better light #its stupid and simple and something anyone can do but it was a wish of mine #hearing i actually got to do that gives me hope this can actually work out so thank you so much for bothering on telling me this #for a while i forgot the little things mattered too. but you helped me remember it #I've had people do art about ideas i had. i had people laughing with an art i did. i forgot those things meant the world all the same #and i forgot those little things are what had gotten me out of depression in the first place lmao #it helped once so i guess it can help out twice #thank you for telling me and im happy i helped somehow!! i'd love to see it! but either way wooooo!!! you make that art #well this was a cringe ramble lmao #might delete later #(the ramble. the ask im putting in my wall)#but yeah this is nice :]#ask #anon

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oatbugs · 4 months

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Jack Marsh (2005), Friendship Otherwise - Toward a Levinasian Description of Personal Friendship

#saw carnation lily lily rose by john singer seargent irl today. it was basically at my doorstep all along idk why i never went to see it #it was placed at a corner in the gallery. me and my friend sat down and sketched the paintings of beautiful naked people quite badly. paper #provided by tate britain. she told me about how she couldnt look her boyfriend in the face after a harrowing film about war. when i say the #interview was informal i mean the person who was supposed to be my boss told me let me get you a cider and then he said after #50 years of life he knows people are inherently good and it only takes a little bit of kindness to save this world. he said he tricked #his wife into keeping the baby and then he said he quit his job at a US bank to help people find meaning and in it #he would have liked to find meaning. instead he started climbing with his friends. he said he chews his cigarettes because its a habit from #when he had to hide things from people. the entire time i felt uncomfortable and incredibly enlightened. this is my friends mentor. she has #his pattern of pauses and expletive and penchant for ends-justify-means attitude. i do think im not very clever #but maybe one day i will love you enough to make up for it. i wrote code i dont understand staring at the final error i thought about how #we both thought of how when we're too old to remember the voices of our friends we would like to stand in the pathway of the LHC beam pipe #cut it open and eat light in the freezing cold vacuum (kills you long before radiation will) the invisible puncture wound unfolding dna #back to the start larger than you ever were. you go to heaven once youve been to hell. my friend is in my bed #practicing calculations of eigenvectors by hand and she is uninterested in a visual proof you are uninterested in incompetence #we catch a train this is your kind of burden you tragic hero wincing at that word you only do this because you have to. im the only one #who can. i am a coward in this for the fucking poetry. the visual proofs. the pretty numbers. an architect who was horrible at maths wanted #to be a philosopher and accidentally ended up neck in deep in 70th Error On Visual Studio Code i want to kiss your eyes before we say #goodbye we both know there is no love in the way there should be. I still have your dress in my wardrobe. i hope you make art.#you think im alright head-wise i think you fucking hate me i think ill never be so clever you want me to tell you my idea?#if you wanted more of this world i would have liked to kiss you harder. we cant both be like this. im sorry i cant be with you the whole wa #the love is gone if you have to ask it. his breath catches his eyes feel stiff it is -1.9 kelvin he is near the beam pipe i miss holding #his hand i miss her singing voice i miss his hair and i found the antonym of pain thank you for carrying me home.

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turrondeluxe · 11 months

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Hi is it ok if I use your Miguel, eating an empanada art as a profile picture (with credit, of course)?

Also, I love your art and I was also going to ask how you do your anatomy, but I know that it can be hard to explain :)

Anyway, I hope you’re having a really good day.

Thank you! 🥰 and Yes of course, i don't mind! :'] I'm happy a lot of people like it!!!!

It is kinda hard to explain 🤧 and drawing it's my hobby And I'm definitely still learning! but some things that help me when drawing anatomy is tracing screenshots from the source to break it down to it's basic shapes! Doing that a lot of times just kinda get's ingrained in your brain after a while and you also kinda can stylize it as you wish. And, talking about Miguel O'Hara in specific here, staring at his muscles for a while actually also helped LMAO

I don't know if it helps, but here's the actual video of how i did that sketch :']

#i usually use pose references when drawings (be random pics from the internet or photos of myself but i kinda just went ham there)!#theres also a lot of resources nowadays for artists that are easily accessible! if you look into pdfs of anatomy for artists you will find #a lot of books!!!!#ehhh ALSO sketching loose poses from models or random people can help?#when i was younger i loved sketching ballerinas performances and just dancers in general! their poses are very fluid and usually the #costumes they wear accentuates their anatomy when they move so that too?#im also a taekwondo black belt so when younger i usually just sketched random fighting poses from my training lmao #im rambling at this point but i hope this all helps a little bit!!! remember to practice and have fun! :']#ask

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mobiusmcqueen · 9 months

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i fucking love muriel so much they're only human police officer I'll ever like

#and the fact they witnessed their confession-kiss-divorce too #from the window #i just hope crowley helps muriel run the shop in s3 and have like a little talk about that #good omens spoilers #good omens #im half asleep can you tell #good omens season 2 #good omens 2

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toytulini · 10 months

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Okay i have yet to see a post about this that isnt filled with ppl being Annoying as Fuck on it, but,

theyve found wreckage of the submersible, it imploded (thank god, thats better than a drawn out suffocation over the course of several days, implosion means it was pretty much instantaneous) and the us navy have revealed they heard a weird sound on sunday from about where communication with the sub was lost, that was probably the sound of the implosion, [implied that they didnt say anything cos they didnt want to jump to conclusions without evidence of a wreckage, if there was a chance they were still alive.] no idea what the banging sounds were.

I do hope rescue efforts are extended to the migrants off the coast of greece, and am angry and horrified at their mistreatment, and that the media clearly cares less for their fates than that of the billionaires on the sub.

also, while i have you here,

The difference between a submersible and a submarine is not that one is safer. The titan was a submersible that was unsafe, but that is not because it was a submersible.

A submarine (or sub) is a watercraft capable of independent operation underwater.

A submersible is a watercraft designed to operate underwater, usually supported by a nearby surface vessel, platform, shore team or sometimes a larger submarine.

submarines generally dont go as deep as our deepest submersibles, but some can be down there for months at a time bc it is like. a self sufficient Ship. not all submersibles can go crazy deep, but to my knowledge, the only crewed vessels that can go that deep, are submersibles. (Alvin, deepsea challenger, limiting factor, trieste, fendouzhe or "striver").

#toy txt post #titan submersible #if ppl start being annoying on this post. ill turn off reblogs and block all of you. make your own post.#reblog the other ones where people are already being annoying #yes i hate billionaires. but im glad it was a quick death. it was a horrific situation. hope those migrants are given support and help.#i hope oceangate is fined to hell and back and bankrupted and never gets to put anyone in any sort of vehicle ever again #especially not in the ocean. im a little glad that ceo is dead in his own stupid sub im just frustrated he was able to take other ppl with #him. the fact that he was able to operate that unregulated non safety standard meeting ass vehicle and charge people money to ride in it is #fucking insane and unconcioable however you spell that #and now i need to go shower real quick and try to get like. a little over 3hrs of sleep. which will suck but i did accidentally nap for #like? 2 hrs already so it doesnt suck as bad as it could. goodnight please dont be stupid on this post please please please #if you have a hot take on the situation im begging you to hot take it Some Where Else! thank you! good bye #im not gonna bother linking shit feel free to fact check just fuckin. google titan submersible. James Cameron is tossing his 2 cents in now #saw 2 separate articles on that already. thats fine i guess he has been down there in safer vehicles so i guess he can shit talk how unsafe #it is. anyway. saw someone in the comments of a post say it was a submersible bc it was too unsafe to be a submarine and i wanted to start #screaming. thats not what those fucking words mean! at all! god!#irl death #idk what else to tag #behave. bye

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lesamis · 1 month

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📠

one thing i like about the new job is that public service really drives home how diverse and interesting any random sample of people actually is. you kind of can't keep thinking that there's one single way in which ordinary life typically goes when you're dropped into the middle of other people's lives on a daily basis. like within two weeks at a public service job in the most boring town imaginable someone will come in and be like hi i'm blind, can i have some adjustments for my advanced degree. hi my grandmother died, can i have an extension. hi i moved here from taiwan literally two months ago and misunderstood some instructions, can i repeat this process. hi i'm competing at the olympics, can i put my studies on hold.

there's just this certain kind of rhetoric that wants to make you belive that A Normal Person is this or that and their life goes this or that way, when really there's no limit to the chaos of human experience or to the endlessly new-shuffled variations of Circumstances and i'd defy anyone who believes otherwise to keep believing it after one day in public service

#the reason this is on my mind sm is bc i've lately been encountering the ''who is this even for'' argument a lot #from people who think certain adjustments are for ''fringe groups'' or whatever #that they believe don't really involve anyone of any note and aren't a good use of public resources #& before this job i never realized that statements like that are someone showing you their shitty qualifications?#like ok you don't know people then. you've never bothered to encounter People As People. you're in a deliberate bubble. cool #that's all i need to know abt your suitedness to comment on public interests lol #it'd be so convenient for them too. sooo easy to believe that ppl fit into neat little groups of The Rule and The Exception respectively #and therefore groups they can consider worthy of their service and groups that aren't #like i know that as a conservative you want to think of a theology student and a trans student as separate entities.#however over here in reality that's the same guy :') cope ig. hope this helps #it's about think of others by mahmoud darwish. you guys get it

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