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sharkb0yinthewat3r · 4 years

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What was coming out like for you?

For years I was closeted and i really didn’t want to do it. I go back and forth between whether or not I thought it was unnecessary or I told myself it was unnecessary so I wouldn’t have to do it. It was probably a little bit of both.

I knew for a while that at the very least my mom knew since she was the only one dropping hints. But if she did so did everybody else. After I was like truly accepting of myself, I really did buy into the narrative that i didn’t need to do it. On one hand I felt like everyone in my family already knew so there was no need to inform them, there was no need to bring it up out of nowhere unprompted, and it’s just ridiculous that that’s something anyone has to do. I’m more than my sexuality and straight people don’t have to come out.

Anyway this ended up being a really long post feel free to read all of it, but the main takeaway is that coming out was scary. Even when I knew nothing big was going to come of it, there’s just like this anxiety I had and I think it’s normal. Im lucky to live a life where I can be myself freely without having to be concerned about repercussions. I would say me coming out to my friends/just not hiding who I was from them was a great experience. My cousins were so great. My mom and my sister, I guess I wish that those had gone better which is crazy to me because they had known the longest and had so long to prepare and just didn’t have ideal reactions (far from awful but it was kinda just like uhhh ok?) and then my dads is probably my favorite bc that’s how it should be for everyone. It was ultimately very freeing for me but it was also like very uncomfortable for me.

My coming out happened in 4 phases:

1. College freshman year: i was struggling with my sexuality after I got my first crush and wasn’t sure whether or not people would accept me and eventually I told one friend that I lived with and he never treated me differently, I think I told three other friends that were girls, but overall it was extremely difficult to communicate for me. I would say that this was a time in which I was still closeted.

2. I now work on accepting myself and don’t really talk about it with people unless it comes up for the next three years. I’m now in my fourth year of college and join an org where I’m placed on a committee that’s essentially 60% gay males 40% straight males (and girls). My goal when joining was just to be open and let people get to know me. I was still middle ish of the road and sorta wanted to be perceived as straight. I think people just kind of started to assume I was gay and it was like “oh I don’t have to think about telling anyone anything or acting a certain way. I can just be myself” and I kinda just let loose and as we started hanging out and going to parties together I was able to open up and be myself judgement free and it was just so much fun and that’s when I like TRULY accepted myself and I was like life should be like this all the time. I can’t believe I haven’t been doing this. This was more of like a me coming out to myself than anything else and showing myself how enjoyable life can be when you don’t bottle yourself up.

3. Same year (after my first semester) Even though I was very open with my friends at school, this was my first time home for a ‘long break’ and I wasn’t as open with my family. Me and my two female cousins went out for a day together in the city and then ended up at a bar where they were talking about the kind of guys they were into and my one cousin mentions that she’s into older guys and I didn’t say anything and then our other cousin went to the bathroom and I was like btw I’m gay and I only wanted to preface that bc when u said u were into older guys I was like legit same I know exactly what you mean. My other cousin came back from the bathroom and then we laughed about it, but they were the sweetest and most supportive I could’ve wanted. I don’t think I’d ever felt as close with them as I did in that moment. They asked if anyone else knew and I was like well my friends but that’s it and they said they wouldn’t tell anyone and I thanked them.

A few nights later I met my sister out at a bar for her birthday in the city. I was hanging out with her friends (who I knew just not on a real personal level) because she was dancing and making out with some guy. This is actually kinda funny. It was winter and the bar was hot so I tied my jacket around my waist (as I often do bc that’s just typically part of my look, kinda like a staple of mine tbh) and her friend is like “ryán why are you wearing that around your waist, go put it in the coat check” and I was like no thanks like I really don’t mind having it on my waist, I like the way it looks and I honestly don’t wanna pay and she’s like “you have to check it, any girl who walks in here and sees a guy with a jacket around his waist will not want to get with him” and I looked at her and laughed and was like “lol ok well that’s fine because I’m into guys anyway” and she was taken aback like “OH” and I was like lol r u surprised and she was like well your sister just never told me that and I said well idk why she would, like for one I’m not sure why that would be a topic of discussion between the two of you and for two I haven’t told her anyway. She and my sisters other gay friend practically forced me to tell her the entire night and I was like um ok. And then my sister got mad at me for telling them before her and made it all about herself and I was drunk crying running to the bathroom lol and she followed it up with SO MANY questions and was like you gotta tell mom and dad we talk about it all the time. And I was like 1. No I don’t, if they wanna know they can ask me I don’t care 2. That’s kinda fucked up that you guys talk about me and my sexuality all the time behind my back?? 3. If you just said u all know why do I have to tell you. There isn’t really more to the story there, it was her telling me to and me saying no.

4. It is the 2019th summer. Id thought many times about telling my parents I wanted to go to pride and just like ended up saying nothing. Fact of the matter was that I wasn’t proud and honestly even if I wanted to go I didn’t know who I’d go with. My parents are VERY religious and when I was younger I had heard my mom express worry about a girls mother after the girl had come out as a lesbian l o l. Years go by and my mom got me a pamphlet for the lgbt center mixed in with a bunch of other papers when I moved in my freshman dorm, said a lot of encouraging things to me like telling me “you can date anyone you want” and asking me about my love life (this kind of stuff happened between stages 1 and 2). Nothing was explicitly said but I think we both silently acknowledged it. She even asked about one of my gay friends bc I think she thought we mightve been dating (between stage 3 and 4) which we were not and never have hooked up or anything. Honestly I knew they’d be supportive and I knew they weren’t going to kick me out, I just didn’t know how they’d honestly and truly take it. And by the time that I didn’t give a fuck about how anybody “took” the “news” I was aware that they knew and subscribed to all the beliefs that I listed above. If they wanted to know so desperately they could ask me. At this point I wasn’t even trying to hide it. A guy kinda fucked me over right before school was over and I was talking to her on the phone and she was asking how I was and why I sounded meh and I just told her guys suck without trying to get into it. Anyhow picture this, straight pride has just been confirmed for August 2019. Gays are distressed everywhere. Can we not have one thing??? I share a post to my insta story stating something along the lines of “straight pride isn’t necessary and you should be happy you don’t need it. LGBT people need pride because we still don’t have equal rights and people get killed every day for being a part of this community and people get kicked out of their homes for loving someone, etc.” and I guess my mom saw it and was like that was an interesting post on your instagram and I was like lol ok thanks. (She had thought I didn’t think I was safe in my own home and that’s why I wasn’t coming out) And she’s like is there something you want to tell me? And I say is there something you want me to tell you? And she says only if you want to. And I say “what mom do you want me to tell you I’m gay? Like it’s not a secret. I know you know and everybody else knows.” We went on a walk and she said some highly questionable microaggressions but meant with overall support. At this point though like I already accepted myself so I could just roll my eyes and be like lol whatever you don’t get it.

Then my dad comes back and she calls him to the kitchen and is like I think you should tell him now. And i was like gurl what? This is so out of nowhere and so ridiculous. You’re really going to do this after we just had an hourlong discussion on why I didn’t feel the need to come out. And my dad comes in and is like what’s up and I say hey just so you know I’m gay, ok? And he says ok.

#omg this is so fucking long im so sorry #ive been writing so many novels for asks lately #ask

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the-mystical-aquatic-gay · 4 years

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So my friend @flags-and-fanfiction and I have this massive ML Rewrite that we’ve been planning for ages. We haven’t actually started a fic for it or anything, but since quarantine started, I’ve actually been drawing up some costumes for it.

Anyways I thought I’d share some of them with y’all cause I’m actually pretty proud of them!

First up we’ve got a redesign of Miss Chloé Bourgeois’ Queen Bee costume

This design might change at some point, and obviously I didn’t draw in hair or a mask or anything, but this is the outfit we’re probably gonna go with! If you want details about it I’m gonna have some extra stuff under the cut.

Okay let’s dive in here, I’m gonna have notes about the actual costume and about the rest of her design that wasn’t drawn here. Actual drawing stuff first:

I’m gonna try to work from the bottom up so let’s start with the shoes. Yes I know I kept the heels from the canon design, yes I know heels are high impractical for combat but hear me out:

Her suit is magical, if the suits’ are powered by tiny gods that can make the suits look like whatever their wielder truly desires, then I think its plausible that those tiny gods could use magic to allow the wielder to fight safely in heels if they really wanted it.

Chloé is pretty feminine in canon and we plan on keeping that in this AU, so I thought the heels would be a nice thing to keep.

Pointy things are good for jabbing your opponent if they grab you, I think Chloé would take advantage of things like that that other people would see as a weakness and turn them into a hidden strength.

I think that’s enough on the boots so let’s move on to the skirt

The skirt is actually dual purpose, yes it’s obviously a cute little skirt for our Queen and it adds a little splash of blue to her design. But one of the things we’ve decided on for this AU is that any miraculous based on an animal that can fly (Ladybug, Bee, Butterfly, etc), yeah, the person using that miraculous can now fly when transformed. So when Chloé needs to fly somewhere, that skirt will shift up and become wings on her back.

Aside from that, the skirt is another little bit of femininity to her costume and honestly, as long as they’re not long enough for you to step on or something, skirts give a great range of motion and I think Chloé would recognize and use that. In case you weren’t sure from the drawing there is actually a black miniskirt under the skirt that can switch into wings.

Next up the arm things, I just kinda thought they looked cool honestly? They do also follow the idea I mention before though of pointy things being good in close combat though. An alternate idea I’d considered but couldn’t get to work properly (because for some reason I was doing this on Paint 3D) with gloves lined with fuzz like I did on the shoulders. I still might change it to that idea in the future.

Next is the vest and undershirt. I don’t think there’s really much to elaborate on here, it’s just a vest and shirt. All I can really say is that i wanted to have a collar and goes out away from the neck but I didn’t really have room to draw it with the puffballs there so I just drew the shape but attached to her neck instead.

I already mention the puffballs, so I guess the only thing that I really wanted to say here was that those are supposed to be yellow with a light dusting of orange over the top of fuzz/fluff/whatever you wanna call it.

Next we have the things that aren’t in that picture but will be a part of her design in the fic, how her powers differ from canon, and anything else I can think of:

Her hair is gonna be a crown braid with little blue flowers woven in

Why flowers? That actually has to do with her powers! See we think that all powerful gods only giving their wielders one single power that they can only use once is dumb, so we’re changing that.

We don’t have the entire power system figured out, magic systems are hard y’all, but we do have some ideas. For Chloé her powers now are:

Main Power: we haven’t settled on a name for it, but those blue flowers? They’ll be used to seek out people how are willing and able to cooperate with the heroes in their fight. The magic that brings them to Chloé will also protect them from just getting insta killed by the akuma or something.

Secondary Power (might have more than one of these later): her weapon is gonna be a giant honey dipper, if needed she can use it to trap people in a giant glob of honey - and yes, this is basically just venom

We don’t have an official idea for her mask, because we’re changing basically everything for this AU, but I at least am thinking that she’d look cool with some sort of wire frame mask? Yeah they’re obviously not great for hiding faces, but neither are the canon masks, so chalk it up to miraculous magic disguising their identities.

This is the style of mask I mean:

That kinda thing would be so cool on her right? I love these kinds of masks so i just kind fell in love with the idea when I thought of it!

Anyways, I think that’s all the major stuff we’ve got for our version of Queen Bee right now. There’s more stuff we have for Chloé herself, like just as a character outside of the mask, but that can be its own post if people are interested. At some point soon ish here I’m probably gonna do a post about Night Prince, who is our take on Felix with the Black Cat miraculous (this isn’t an “Adrien loses his miraculous partway through the fic” type of thing, he has it from the start, we’re giving Adrien the Turtle when the time comes)

I hope y’all enjoyed this look into our AU and I’ll try to give everyone more soon!

Edit: here’s the link to Night Prince’s post

#miraculous #kwami #miraculous ladybug #miraculousladybug #miraculous les aventures de ladybug et chat noir #MLB #ml thoughts #ml au #ML CHLOE #ml salt #ml queen bee #queen bee #ml pollen #ml redesign #ml rewrite #chloe bourgeois #chloe redemption #good chloe #pollen

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talesofafangirlwithadvr · 4 years

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JULY PICKS!

You heard me correctly, I said JULY! Whoosh, this year is going by fast-but not in a good way if you know what I mean. This will be my last monthly wrap up where I am strictly staying home in quarantine as this upcoming week I’m heading back to work in person. Wish me luck!

We had quite the range this month from newly released, reality, musical and then some favorites from last month that I’ve continued watching. Without further ado here we go....

There’s going to be PLENTY of SPOILERS this go round. ESPECIALLY with my first pick of Stargirl. You’ve been warned!!!

DC’S STARGIRL

I need to talk about 1x10 or I’m going to burst!!! As stated above there will be A LOT of SPOILERS IN THIS POST!! So scroll down to the next picture if you don’t want it to be spoiled.

You’ve been warned...again.

IT CANNOT END LIKE THAT!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? Henry! Wow! 1) Epic fighting 2) The backstory and how he wasn’t going to give up on his dad AND THEN how he wouldn’t give into his dad. 3) HE DIED RATHER THAN JOIN HIS SIDE OR PRETEND (which I honestly felt was going to happen). His character arc and I can’t believe it’s over!!! 4) His speech at the end: *weeping.* I knew Brainwave was going to say he killed his mother. It just felt like the build up. Brainwave Jr. would have been a GREAT ADDITION TO THE JSA! AND OMG THE WAY THE REST OF THEM FOUGHT FOR HIM! I loved how they framed it so you could still see them in the back when Henry spoke to his father. Super heartbreaking. Man, it feels like a lot of people have been killed off this first season (or am I just still thinking about Joey?)

Side note: Check out the Instagram Live between father and son Brainwave on Stargirl’s CW page. Jake Austin Walker did an AWESOME interview in his take over.

This was one of the strongest episodes overall and definitely one of my favorites so far. I agree with many others that while it is SOO GOOD and I want to rewatch it again, I don’t know if I can emotionally yet. I can’t remember the last time I felt that way about a show.

Some other thoughts this episode: WAY TO GO BARBARA! Way to record them to translate later (such an awesome app btw, how do I get it?). I’m glad her and Pat came more to an understanding because I love them especially with that glimpse into how they met. Jordan’s parents give me the creeps, like the couple from The Visit vibes. I feel like Mike’s got to find out ASAP, especially because he’s spent time in the garage. Something’s got to show him the truth; because I’m really feeling he figures it out rather than being told. Very curious to see what his reaction will be. SOLOMON GRUNDY. Thank God Beth talked Rick down. She really is like Chuck in being the voice of reason. She did really well in the cafeteria too. While I still don’t believe Starman is Courtney’s dad, how cute was it when she put together her and Henry were cousins? Speaking of Court’s dad, who else didn’t feel like Starman was her dad until they saw that upcoming promo? I don’t know who that impostor is but he is not her dad. Something’s fishy.

Loving this show. So happy it’s renewed for a second season!!

THE 100

From a show I can’t get enough of to one whose final season is a disappointment. I’m not going to spend too much time talking about The 100 because I feel I’ll just be repeating myself from previous posts. However, I did want to include it because I haven’t spoken much about the previous 2 episodes that I wound up watching back to back and I didn’t overly dislike them.

As many have complained, when you have a final season you shouldn’t introduce SO MANY new characters and just push aside your originals (or the ones who are left). You also shouldn’t include so many confusing plots that are making it look like were the main points overall (like this many world concept was around since the first grounders) and playing with time in so many episodes is hard to keep up with too. Having so many people separated makes it difficult to remember what just happened to this specific group because I haven’t seen them in forever. ANYWAY, I did promise some positives. I didn’t except to like 7x08 because of it being a flashback episode with brand new people that was just going to feel like a potential spin-off pilot. Well...I actually really enjoyed it and the concept that the bunker was used before One Crew. The characters were easy to like and it was cool seeing Allie again (and this time not as the villain). While it felt forced including the orb (is that what it’s called? If not that’s what I’m calling it), but I liked how all the other pieces fit together (ex: the flame, the grounders’ language). Honestly, I surprise myself to say this, but I’d watch another episode. For 7x09, I liked being on Bardo and watching Octavia, Echo, Diyoza and Hope slowly get “brainwashed” I mean trained. We all knew it wouldn’t work for Hope and if I was them I would rather be on Sky Ring than Bardo (but then I guess I’d go crazy, so...) I enjoy the Octavia and Levitt relationship and would love them to work out, but if this show taught you anything it’s to be skeptical. I also want to shift to the Primes plot, just to showcase John Murphy for a second. THAT MAN! What a character development he’s had on this show. From the first season where I was like come on Murphy to now me awaiting his scenes. From cockroach to someone who won’t view himself as a hero. So good and something that is fantastic about this final season. They might have forgotten about other characters, but they’re doing it right by Murphy.

Well, that was more than I was expecting. ;)

THE CIRCLE

It feels like I haven’t watched a lot of reality TV this year, which makes sense because of our quarantine situation (but then again I’m watching World of Dance, but that’s a different because it’s more of a competition/dance show. I’ll stop rambling). The Circle is a reality ‘game’ show that could be easily completed during quarantine and social distancing because the contestants do not see each other in person. They each have an apartment in this complex and only communicate with each other on a social media platform called the Circle. The objective is to become the most popular and an influencer who gets power over who stays and who goes in the competition. There’s some side contests throughout, but most of the show is just people chatting through an insta messenger and trying to learn as much as they can. Alliances are formed and cat fishes try to thrive all for the grand prize of $100,000. (Wow, that’s a lot!) It is SUPER addicting and very funny. Having a voice-over narrator really makes it even funnier because she says what we’re all thinking. Just about every episode a contestant leaves and then is able to meet one other person in their apartment. It’s been cool seeing their reactions as oftentimes it’s someone they did not expect AT ALL. I can’t wait to finish it. If you’re a fan of Big Brother than this is definitely for you. Looks like there will be a second season, which I am excited about.

THE BABYSITTERS CLUB

Jumping from one Netflix show to another. Released on Netflix on July 3rd, I tried not to binge it all in one day because then it would be over (and we still don’t know if there will be a second season yet). This is definitely my feel good watch for July. If you want something that’s a quick watch and just wholesome and fun to escape our current world than this is for you. I always felt so happy after watching and couldn’t wait to watch another. While I was familiar with the franchise--the 90s movie and of course the books (although I was more of a Babysitter Little Sister fan, so I was very excited to see Karen), you don’t have to have any knowledge of the Babysitters Club to enjoy this show. I was hooked just about right away by this new series shown by me watching the first three episodes back to back. I really like how they set up each episode with one girl as the main focus (just like in the books) where she takes over the voice-over narration. Great representation and made modern to fit in with our current times. The first example that comes to mind is when Mary Ann babysits Bailey who is transgender. I liked how Bailey says those are her old clothes while they’re playing. It’s shown in a way that explains the situation without feeling like a lecture. It fits so naturally into the episode. And then Mary Ann’s speech at the hospital is super powerful for both Bailey and herself. This is just one example of how well represented this show is. Extremely strong cast and actresses who are the proper ages. I also love the adult casting and how they threw in a Clueless reference from Alicia Sliverstone (who plays Kristy’s Mom). As someone who is writing for this age group, I really liked hearing and seeing how authentic this show is.

FEEL THE BEAT

A Netflix original movie that has been on my list for a while that I just got around to watching. It didn’t come out too long ago. In the film, Sofia Carson’s character is a dancer who is a perfectionist. She gets on the bad side of a big NYC producer when she not only leaves her in the rain as she steals her taxi, but also knocks her, accidentally, off stage and becomes a viral video-this basically blackmails her in Broadway. This all happens within about the first 10 minutes of the film and the majority takes place back in her small home town (very Hallmark-like) in Wisconsin. While there her old dancing teacher wants her to share her Broadway wisdom with her young students. Meanwhile Carson has only been a chorus girl, so she doesn’t really have any. What draws her to helping the young girls is the chance to perform in front of a big choreographer that could get her to be the star she always dreamed of. The catch is that it’s the teacher dance in the childrens dance competition. While this might sound like a movie you’ve watched many times before, it was still worth it and a really fun watch. I think the kids really make the movie. They are adorable, funny and super talented. You feel connected with them really fast and want to see them succeed. I loved Dickie and how he joined the group. I think he was my favorite overall. I loved how inclusive the cast was here too (just like BSC) from a mixed race family, to single parents and even a student who was Deaf. It was great seeing the other actors sign to her. Carson’s character, April, can be annoying at times, but you understand it’s her character and something she needs to overcome. As I said before the plot may seem familiar, but the ending was something I didn’t see coming. Overall, wholesome, feel good and fun for the whole family. You can consider to watch while babysitting. (See what I did there??)

VIOLETTA SEASON 2

She’s back! I know last month when I included Violetta it was mainly me being excited to see the second season FINALLY streaming on Disney Plus. I had watched a few episodes (remember there’s 80 altogether, so even if I watched 20 that’s still very early on and just a dent in the season) and was still getting used to this season. Well, now I’m happy to report I am in the 40s and more than half way. For a bit I was watching many of these episodes a day, which told me that I was loving it again. Recently, I feel I need a little more of a push to watch, but it’s mainly because of certain story-lines that feel like they’re dragging. (For example: Violetta’s voice. One minute it’s fine and the next she’s like dying). For this section I have two words: LOVE TRIANGLES. And I’m not just talking about Violetta, Diego and Leon. For a bit it felt like each character had their own love triangle, which honestly I was loving. These characters have definitely developed a lot from last season, which allows this to happen. Olga was in a love triangle, which just recently got resolved. I think German is still in one because of his alter ego Jeremias. Jackie was “kind of” in one. For her it was more of a misunderstanding, which is very classic on this show. Lots more secrets have been uncovered in these episodes as well as songs! You know how excited I am for those. Overall, I think I’m still enjoying season 1 songs more (which get referenced enough in this season), but some of the season 2 ones are really growing on me. Specifically Leon’s Entre dos mundos and when he sings with Diego Euphoria in English. Also, Yo Soy Asi has been real catchy. I know Frederico will be coming back soon and I can’t wait to see him again!

HAMILTON

Like many I watched Hamilton this month-actually on the day it came out. It’s been a musical that I’ve been intrigued by, but never thought I’d get a chance to watch because of how popular and expensive it is to see on Broadway. So, I was very excited to hear I’d get the chance when it was to be released in theaters for a special event. Then because of Corona it was released to Disney Plus, which was EVEN more convenient and exciting. I really enjoyed it and watched it twice within the same week. I immediately downloaded the playlist and started singing it around the house. I do this a lot with many of the plays I see, but depending how good they are is shown by how long I listen to the soundtrack. (Some of my top ones are Bandstand, Once, Newsies and Anastasia.) Because there are so many songs in Hamilton it is taking me a little longer to know all the words, but I feel pretty confident with the first act. It was the perfect timing for this to be released on Disney Plus. Not only because it was July 3rd, but also because of the world we are living in. Lin’s diverse cast brings to life the world of 1776 and the revolutionary war (as well as the time after it), but it’s such a strong commentary on our world today. This is something I am continually noticing with historical dramas/pieces being released within the last 5-10 years. It feels like there’s more we can say in this genre than in a commentary piece. I also like all the analysis videos I’ve seen popping up, which just make it even more powerful. (Like it being Eliza’s story and her putting herself back in the narrative. That the play Hamilton is named for both her and Alexander.) I don’t know if all of what I see were intentional, but either way well done. I hope it doesn’t leave Disney Plus soon.

1917

And lastly, 1917. I promised quite the range this month and you can see that’s definitely the case. I always enjoy watching war films and with 1917 there was so much hype (both before it came out and after) that I was interested to give it a watch. Giving the movie to my dad for father’s day felt like the perfect excuse to be able to watch it. Even though our DVD stuck in a few places (still don’t know if it was the player or the DVD itself), the film was very entertaining and I would suggest it to anyone who is a history/film buff. Taking place in WWI, we follow two British soldiers as they attempt to deliver a message about an upcoming ambush that could take countless lives. I feel that I often watch more films revolving around WWII, so it was very interesting to be immersed in the first great war. After watching I am not surprised that the film was up for so many Oscars. While cinematography is the first thing everyone discusses when it comes to this movie (and it should be because the one shot/long shot is sooo impressive and beautiful to watch. It really brings you into the scene and has a way of making you feel like you’re there too. There’s a realness to it that’s raw and new compared to other war films I’ve watched in the past), there’s so much more to this film too. First, I like how it connects back to Sam Mendes’ grandfather, so while it’s not a true story it has real facts in it. I LOVE the score and music to this film. In the scene where George Mackay runs at night through those ruined buildings I could really hear how well the music worked with the action. Because of this I made sure to listen to some of the soundtrack and now I’ve added some of the songs into my writing playlist. I have chills just thinking about it. The other point I want to bring up is the cast! While there are SO MANY big names in this film from Colin Firth to Benedict Cumberbatch, the two main characters are played by George Mackay and Dean Charles Chapman and they are the ones with the most screen time. If their chemistry and acting wasn’t so great then the movie wouldn’t be as successful as it is. Because of this I have been watching non-stop YouTube interviews of the two of them for this film.

They are so well-spoken, stand-up guys and I can’t get enough of their dialogues with each other and others. (You should watch these interviews too). While familiar with Chapman’s time on Game of Thrones, I haven’t seen him in much else, so I’m excited to see what he’ll have in the future (as well as checking out his IMDB page). For Mckay, I’ve seen him before when I just watched Ophelia earlier this summer so that was my first time watching him act. After that film I was curious what else he was in, but it was only after 1917 that I started doing more research. So far, I’ve only been able to watch the short film he was in called Infinite. While only 17 minutes it was very strong and deep. I highly recommend. As I’ve shared on this page already, in another post, the more I hear him talk the more of a crush I am developing. It’s been a long time since I’ve experienced a celebrity crush this strong so soon. This quarantine has to end so I can make it to England to just casually bump into him like one does. :)

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moonlightreal · 3 years

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Fate Episode One

At long last, it’s tiiiiiime!

First: whitewashing bad. Fact acknowledged. Everybody else has said everything on the subject (ad nauseum...) so no reason to say it all again!

I’m diving in with questions. The main one is “Will there be a good reason for Musa to be a mind fairy rather than a music fairy?” Dunno why that’s what I’m wondering the most, but it is. There’s also “Is Fate!Stella truly an unholy union of Stella and Diaspro?” and “so what makes them fairies not witches/psychics/mutants?” and “So what’s up with Beatrix? We know nothing about her, and as an Umineko fan I’m favorably disposed towards witches named Beatrice!” and also “They’re not really having sex are they?!”

I’m going to try and approach Fate just like I do every season of the cartoon, ready to celebrate the good, snark at the bad, enjoy many headcanons, reference random stuff, and have a good time. Pretending I haven’t had my fannish heart nigh to broken by the state of the fandom and that I’m worried I’ll get hate for even posting this. I’m’a try to start from zero to find my own answer the really big question… “Good, bad, or totally irredeemable?”

So… In which we discover a new world.

We start with… a night scene. Not promising when “too dark can’t see” is one of my pet peeves! An old fella comes out to check on his cute Irish sheep. He passes through the barrier, into the dangerous forest beyond to look for a missing sheep. Yup, he’s gonna be guest victim in the first five minutes.

Oh no! Something has disemboweled a sheep and left it hanging in a tree! Clearly there are leopards in the magical realm!

There is a great roar and an unseen but very large-sounding beast chases our poor shepherd! The guy trips and falls just as he’s about to get through the barrier and is set upon and devoured by the unseen beast! Blood spatters the rocks!

Opening! It’s the wings we’ve sen and some really beautiful music. One point for the music.

Then a gorgeous flying shot of the outside of the barrier and Alfea. Whatever the plot turns out to be, the outdoor setting is beautiful. Music that seems to be both pop and edgy plays as we zoom in on the logo on the gate, and there’s Bloom coming in the gate.

And there’s Terra with her father and a tray full of plants.

And there’s Aisha walking by with her dreads

And there’s Stella taking a selfie with other students.

And there’s Musa leaning on her suitcase, headphones on, looking at her phone. Another girl says something to Musa and she turns and replies and smiles.

And there’s one of the guys twirling a knife. I’ve heard Sky starts out in a pink shirt so this must be Riven. The camera comes back to Bloom as she gives him a doubtful look. In the novelization she’s mentally labeling him an edgelord, and that kinda fits. Any dude showing off his willingness to twirl weapons at a high school probably is best avoided—except the dudes here are training to fight so the weapons rules must be different. I wonder if Bloom knows yet that dudes with swords are normal here.

Bloom gets a text to meet Stella at the gate. She waits.

Camera pan to Sky talking to another guy. Sky looks… Sky-ish. Chris Evans style handsome, blond. I’d’ve made him grow his hair to mimic cartoon Sky’s silly shaggy haircut, but points for making Sky look like Sky! Minus points for not dying Riven maroon. They could’ve made it work!

Sky is indeed wearing a pink shirt. In the novelization Bloom thinks he’s wearing it “because gender roles were for the weak” which is a line I think is funny and intend to use in a story somewhere. There is no obvious hint in the show that Sky thinks gender roles are for the weak

Bloom’s tired of waiting. She heads off. Sky ditches his buddy to go meet her. “Wow, you are so lost. I’m impressed with your confidence in the face of complete ignorance. Issue is, you’re overcomitted. You’re essentially running. And now that I’m here you can’t possibly give me the satisfaction of turning around.” he says, all in one go.

I can’t decide if that’s jerkish or charming. Maybe Bloom shares my weakness for men with accents because she decides on charming.

Bloom says she’s a fairy, giggles because that’s something she never thought she’d say, they’re standing in the courtyard of a college for fairies, Bloom’s from California, not the Otherworld. So we get all that established. Sky is kinda charming here and points out the specialists’ hall and fairy hall.

Sky: “I’d be happy to-”

Bloom: “Mansplain it?”

So the writing team does know some modern issues! Bloom says Sky seems like a mansplainer, which seems like quite a leap since she is new and he is helping her, in a friendly-sarcastic kind of way. She’s giggling, clearly charmed.

Then Riven comes up, and he’s like a foot shorter than Sky, and Bloom escapes for some reason so maybe she wasn’t enjoying the conversation as much as it looked? Or maybe it was just the plot needs to move along. Riven glomp-hugs Sky. He’s got a great accent too.

Bloom must’ve left because she saw Stella, they say hello. Bloom says she got impatient waiting and Stella says, “How very American of you” So American stereotypes are known in magical worlds also?

So, Stella! Blonde, tall, zero Stella vibe. Accent. Long pale coat and a satiny top with big chunky pendant. She gets to her ring quick, “Portal ring, the only thing that keeps me sane in this place is the ability to leave it. Your world may not always be thrilling but it beats this one. There are seven realms in the Otherworld, each a different kind of boring.” All spoken in a jaded monotone. Ugh, what have they done to our Stella!

The girls walk inside while Stella speaks, the school is pale stone and arches and plants. Other students are arriving, hauling suitcases, hugging. At least some of them seem happy to be here!

Cut to the globe! and it’s a magical globe, the water moves and there are lil sailing ships! But the lands are totally blank, so it’s a cheap magic globe Dowling didn’t pay enough for the one with tiny forests too. Alfea is in the realm of Solaria.

Maybe they shouldn’t have made Ireland = Solaria. I’ve only been to England but we did not see the sun the whole trip! Bloom’s in Dowling’s really cool office. She spins the globe but the camera pans away before we see the names of the other realms. Bloom’s talking nervously about seeing people updating their insta stories, expecting Tinkerbells, and the lack of wings.

Dowling: “We had wings in the past. As we’ve evolved, transformation magic has been lost. Tink was an air fairy, you’re a fire fairy.”

Dowling says classes tomorrow, learn to use magic slowly but safely… we establish Bloom is here to learn to control her magic so she can go home and not keen on ‘slow.’ Dowling says, ‘trust the process’ which immediately makes me mistrust her.

Then she gives a great lil speech: “Alfea’s graduates have ruled realms and led armies. They have forged powerful relics and rediscovered long lost relics. They shape the otherworld.”

But Bloom just wants to get done and go home. She says, ‘I'm here because you promised you’d teach me control.” and Dowling says, ‘no, you’re here because you knew you have no other choice.” and Bloom looks betrayed.

Yeah Dowling’s sus.

Next scene: Bloom showing her dorm to her parents over video call! How does that work between dimensions? Her folks look nothing like Mika and Vanessa, dad’s got a beard and silver temples, mom’s got big blonde curls. Neither of them have burn injuries or the sort of freaked out vibe I’d expect from folks whose house was just on fire.

Roommate pan-around! Terra puts potted plants everywhere! Stella preens at the vanity! Musa headphones-and-laptop but smiles at Terra. Aisha comes in with her laundry bag.

Bloom’s parents get suspicious about the timezone thing, they think Bloom’s in the Alps, and Aisha comes and covers for her saying it’s time for lights out.

Aisha intro! She is wearing a pink and brown checkered dress that’s not super fashionable or flattering. I like her blue braids though. Aisha does not seem to have the accent that many Alfeans have.

Bloom explains the “human parents, fairy daughter, I must be a throwback to an ancestor” thing. Aisha looks dubious. Then they mention Harry Potter!

Bloom; ‘Ravenclaw, sometimes Slytherin.’

Aisha; ‘Explains the lies then. Gryffindor.’

Bloom: ‘Explains the judgment.’

Congrats, you both were jerks in three short lines. 9_9 But they’re smiling so I guess it’s friendly sniping.

Bloom goes to see Stella, who’s holding up sparkly tops to herself. She’s also got this weird rainbow skirt that looks like gymnastics clothes not real clothes. Stella’s changing for the party because people have already seen her in her clothes. Bloom asks confused, ‘People expect you to wear multiple outfits?’ and Stella comes back with, ‘people expect me to care how I look.” In the same jaded monotone.

Before Bloom can WTF outta there like a sensible person Stella snaps her fingers and creates a ball of light. Bloom gapes, but not nearly as much as I feel like she should. The magic is beautiful, it’s all rainbowy and sparkly. Bloom just hesitantly asks, ‘Can I ask, how exactly you..?” and Stella shuts her down with an almost kind, “I’m a mentor, not a tutor.”

But she does give a little infodump. “Fairy magic is tied to emotion. God thoughts, bad, hatred, fear, the stronger the emotion the stronger the magic.”

And Bloom says, ‘Do you hate me or fear me? You were looking at me when you did that. And I’m pretty sure you don’t love me.” Smart cookie, Bloom! Points to you! We know it’s because Bloom was talking to sky, and that gives Stellla some emotions.

And points to Stella, she thaws out her voice and talks like a real person, ‘I don’t know you. I’m sure once I do I’ll find something to love.” She sounds rather doubtful about the last bit but yay actual emotion!

Then Stella goes over to Terra for her intro scene and I cringe because the novelization did Terra dirty and I’m not keen to see it on screen. But it works ok. Stella gently calls Terra on the number of houseplants and says the secret garden was better kept secret, Terra responds that wasn’t really the message of the book, Stella looks at her with amused patience and leaves Musa and Terra to continue the scene. And I decide if there’s no infodump about how earth and the Otherworld relate to each other in this show I shall be cross.

Then Terra chatters on about her family and how she grew up at Alfea since her dad works here (she’s holding a 100% fake plant) and drops that Stella is a second year. Musa asks why a second-year is in a first-year suite and Terra says it’s some administrative thing probably best not to mention. But Terra totally knows the secret.

Musa’s eyes glow purple. Magic! But we don’t hear what she hears. She starts putting her headphones on. Terra goes on to say they should all not mention it to Stella, then interrupts another headphones-attempt to offer Musa a succulent, “They’re low maintainence, perfect for you, not that I really know you...’

Musa: ‘If I take it will you stop talking?”

Terra visibly deflates and Musa apologizes and grabs the succulent before finally getting to escape into music.

Aisha leans in to ask Terra if Alfea has a pool. It has a river and Aisha’s been swimming—twice a day every day! Terra says no pool, just the pond where the specialists train but nobody swims there, at least not on purpose.

And we immediately cut out to the pond, which looks pretty mucky, I wouldn’t want to swim there either! Two specialists, a boy and a girl, are whacking away at each other with wooden swords on the shore. They’re all dressed in black pants and tank tops, very Divergent movie poster except with the Alfea logo on the front. There’s a bunch of specialists training all around the pond and one does indeed knock their opponent in with a splash! But we home in on Sky and Riven and I cannot get over how short and skinny Riven is compared to Sky! And the fact that I’ve just been rewatching Lord of the Rings and Riven doesn’t look 100% not like Dominic Monaghan… sorry Riven’s actor, I’m sure in future episodes I’ll stop thinking you’re a hobbit!

Anyway, Riven’s teasing Sky about his crush on Bloom, says Sky always goes for the crazy ones and all redheads are crazy. Sky puts Riven on the mat and Riven says he was getting high all summer and not practicing. Before Sky can give him a “big brother speech” on that riven skedaddled because here comes the teacher with a different speech!

This show’s Codatorta, whose name is Silva and who looks very irish and I like him, does a little speech about how y’all gotta train, singles out a black guy I think is Dane and says, ‘even you will be able to fight like him.” and attacks Sky, who fights back. They spar for a minute.

Infodump: “Sky’s father was Andreas of Eraklyon, that makes him a legacy.” Also, some of these kids are from families of specialists and some were selected by Silva based on their talent for combat and weaponry. “This place will seem like hell until actual hell comes. We are the first line of defense, a certainty when the future is uncertain!’

Then Dane snickers about the whole ‘school full of kids with swords’ and Silva says it must be nice to be so ‘soft’ he can make fun. And Dane drops that the barrier exists ‘to protect the school from Burned Ones.”

As he says it, we cut to Sky going out through the barrier to smoke.

Burned ones are gone. But Silva saw one when he was a kid. His father shot it but was killed by the Burned One’s poison. Burned Ones are inhumanly strong and fast, and have a terrible poison, or disease that kills people who get away.

Sky looks over and sees the shepherd’s body. Yikes!

Cut to the staff arriving to look at the remains. Just three: Dowling, Codatorta, and Terra’s dad. Is that the whole staff? Who teaches? Could’ve been a wolf or a bear… Terra’s dad collects some gunk from the body and I think calls it “char residue.”

Dowling says, “She killed all the Burned Ones.”

She? This world’s Marion/Daphne, likely.

But the adults clean it up so the kids can party! Our girls are gathered around the food, and they’re better dressed! Aisha’s got her hair up and a blue hoodie, Musa’s got a little red coat. Terra has not been blessed by the fashion fairy, she’s in some overalls it looks like, not flattering. Terra is saying hopefully that maybe the shepherd died of old age and Musa’s ‘Yeah, that old age decapitation” is gentle ribbing not cruel.

Aisha’s loading up a stack of cookies, says how much she eats and, ‘If I didn’t swim I’d be massive.” it’s not aimed at Terra , but Terra flinches. Aisha heads off and Terra says something that boils down to, ‘Musa, you’re tuning out me in particular.” which, Terra you’ve known Musa for what, six hours? Way too short a time to take it personal. Musa says, ‘It’s a me thing, it’s not you.” and Terra just flusters and heads away. Musa looks troubled but not sure what to do and puts her headphones on.

This is SO much better than in the book. Not perfect, all the interactions between the girls have been very weird as if they’ve been given a script full of cruel catty lines and instructed to say them in a kind way, but at least they’ve tried for the vibe of “trying to be nice to people we don’t know yet and flubbing it” rather than “we are all terrible people” like I feared.

Terra meets her dad and tries to go to the greenhouse with him but he makes her stay to enjoy the party.

Cut to some grownup dude—Dowling’s secretary? Apparently searching for something in a desk that I presume is outside the headmistress’ office.

Beatrix… or possibly a gothed-up Bloom… comes to see Dowling and when told the headmistress isn’t in says, ‘I’ll just take a water, room temp, thanks love.’ and then when the door opens Beatrix greets Dowling with a simpering ‘I'm your biggest fan, I’m obsessed with Alfea...” and cascading apologies for swearing, with more swearing. Dowling and her secretary are as confused by this as I am but Dowling says Beatrix can study the history of Alfea in the library if she wants to. I assume this is evil Beatrix slyly getting permission to hit the books. Is Beatrix even a student at Alfea?

Cut to Bloom’s notebook, she’s already started taking notes about powers being linked to emotions, love hate and fear. Great initiative Bloom, but are there no textbooks you could be reading ahead in?

We get dumped back to a flashback: Bloom’s mom wants her to go out on a Saturday night, to a party or a movie or whatever teen thing. All Bloom wants to do is go to antique sales apparently. Bloom doesn’t want to be a “basic bitch” like her mom and her mom doesn’t want her daughter to be a “weird loner.”

Pause while I urban dictionary “basic bitch.” Huh. Not a term I ever heard in my circle of nerds.

Bloom and her mom are awful to each other. Back in the present Bloom’s eyes flame up as she remembers. She decides it’s time to go experiment! Right now! Before even one day of magic class or one page of a textbook! The idiot ball has entered play.

Night has fallen because of course it has. Bloom runs into Sky at the party. But she’s not looking to party, she’s looking for a place to be alone outside. Sky directs her to beyond the barrier, because we’re about to have Plot. If it weren’t for Plot I‘m sure Sky could’ve suggested a specialist workout area inside the barrier. Sky says there might be wolves or bears or “maybe something much scarier” and Bloom catches the idiot ball and says, ‘But no people? Perfect!”

Sky offers to go with her but Bloom says no thanks in a “I think you may be flirting and I may be down for that in the future just not right now.” kind of a way. Good character interaction! Except Stella grabs Sky for a chat once Bloom heads out to meet the Plot.

Sky and Stella have an opaque exchange that really just establishes they have a past of some sort that everyone knows about because everyone stares—or at least Stella thinks everyone is staring. I’m starting to feel weirdly sorry for this Stella who has none of her namesake’s sparkle and confidence. Why does she think all the realms are boring? Is she ever enthusiastic?

...wait, it’s still day! Why was it night inside?? This show is weird about lighting. Gosh Ireland is beautiful! Where’s this castle they got to be Alfea? Can I go there? This FOREST! It is a fully magical forest. Aisha is swimming in the river, with goggles and a cap but Bloom heads into the amazing forest. Good music here too! Forests and magic and music, come on Fate you CAN be a good show, I believe in you! Just put down the idiot ball and step away... Bloom goes through the barrier and outside it sees a swirl of orange and white sparkles in the air. She watches it and laughs and then hikes through a little more forest.

Finding a clearing Bloom calls her fire. At first she can’t, then she looks through the pictures on her phone looking for emotion. “Pictures of my sad teenage years are not happy thoughts. Noted.” She says with an angsty little smile. Then there’s a photo of the burned out house. She zooms in and stares at it taking in all the details. And we get flashbacks to the line of fire racing towards her parents’ bed.

Fire! Bloom turns her handful of fire this way and that, delighted, then tries for two hands. This is the scene from the trailer, playing with fire. Good music here. And good that Bloom thought the magic was neat… uuuuntil she realizes she doesn’t know how to put it out. She freaks out and waves her hands around trying to blow out the flames.

Aisha comes to the rescue and says dumb things like, “You’re losing control.” and “If you get angry at me...” and Bloom does get angry and throws lines of fire right at Aisha. Who looks terrified. Sensibly, but also has she never seen fire magic before? She grew up in a magic realm, does she know nothing about how to help someone get control? Is control taught to magical babies so teenagers rarely see someone wigging out? But if magic is emotion then everyone will lose control sometime since we all get upset. How does an emotion=magic society function?

Anyway. aisha pulls water up from the ground and puts out the flames.

Inside Aisha gives Bloom what for about losing control. Including, “Is that American for sorry I almost set you on fire?” Srsly, this show is Irish people and Italians stealth throwing shade at Americans! *Laughs in January 2021* Bloom retorts that she went away from people to experiment for just that reason, and tells Aisha about not having had fairy parents or any magical experience.

Aisha responds with the story of flooding her school including the toilets and having to wade through poo. (I also tend to call it poo, after watching Mike Rowe. I wonder if they watch Dirty Jobs in the Otherworld.)

And Bloom tells her story. Bloom isn’t a cheerleader, she likes antiques and staying home by herself, so she and her mom don’t get along. Her parents removed her door, which is awful! And Bloom got flamey eyes and sent fire straight at her parents while they slept. While Bloom sat on her bed in a rage trance. Understandable level of fury after that fight. And Bloom feels awful, also understandable. And she snuck out to sleep in a creepy warehouse to protect her parents. Her folks didn’t know it was her of course, they don’t know about magic.

Aisha says that beats her flood story, but Aisha is also wondering about something. “You drew on a good deal of magic without even trying. it’s hard to believe you’re from a dormant bloodline. Is there any chance you’re adopted?”

Bloom laughs. Then says she heard the story of her birth a million times, she was a miracle baby diagnosed with a heart defect but then after birth her heart was fine.

Aisha: “Oh god, you’re a changeling!” … ‘It’s barbaric and it barely ever happens anymore….”

Bloom has had enough and just says, “why would you even tell me that?” and leaves. Musa comes over and asks Aisha what she said. Aisha: “The truth. Because someone’s been lying to her.”

Cut to Dowling, lookin’ sus!

This changeling thing had better be fully explained later. Why was it done in the past? Why is it considered barbaric? What happened to the parents’ real kid? I assume she died of the heart condition, but that’s a bigole dangling bit of Plot. In the unlikely event that Fate goes for many seasons that baby will turn up with magic too or as a specialist or something.

Dowling pours tea. Then she telekinetically locks her office door and opens a secret passage! Dowling is sus.

Back at the party, where it again seems to be night. Dane is leaning on a column hangin out when here comes Riven with a flask! He offers, Dane says no thanks, Riven says, ‘There are two types of first-years: pussies and aspiring former pussies.” and pours the entire flask’s worth of booze into Dane’s cup anyway.

Dane says something about, “It feels like less a binary choice and more like a spectrum.” And points for the actor delivering this line like it’s a sarcastic comment on social juscice-ness rather than the large sign saying “Dane is not straight!’ that the writers intended. Dane drinks, makes a face, and Riven bullies him into drinking the rest, tipping the glass so Dane chokes.

Terra rides to the rescue, “Bullying the first-years? Can you be more basic?” and Riven says Dane was into it which he wasn’t.

Terra: “Thinks he’s some badass but you should’ve seen him last year he was just a tragic nerd in disguise.”

Riven: “And she’s just three people in disguise.”

Dane does call Riven out on that bit of nastiness but Terra just does a great lil speech and strangles Riven with vines. Thought I’d hate that but I kinda liked it. Go Terra. Then she introduces herself to Dane, says that wasn’t a great first impression but Dane says he’s about to make an impression by throwing up after a single drink, and Terra hurries him away presumably to the nurse.

Bloom google-imaged changelings! Lotsa woodcuts, someone’s fanart entitled “horror of fairy babies.’ There’s more nuance to it than that… Bloom looks at a family photograph.

There’s Stella, coming to be sympathetic? Nope, she’s coming to conivingly advance the plot! “You know there’s no shame in that, wanting a normal life, wanting to be home...”

When the girls get back Bloom is nowhere to be found. Musa mind-reads that Stella is wracked with guilt, They put it together, Bloom was talking to Sky and now she’s gone. Apparently Stella did something nasty to the last girl who talked to Sky. Terra is kinda straight up badass. Stella confesses, she kindly loaned Bloom the portal ring so she could go back to “the first world” but to use it Bloom has to go deep into the forest outside the barrier to a door in a graveyard.

Portal’s super low special effects, Bloom pushes open a door in a cemetary, the ring glows, and Bloom walks into what must be the warehouse she hid out in.

It’s very dark inside both buildings but away from the cemetary it seems to still be day so we can see a Burned One’s shadow coming towards the portal. Day and night seem to depend on location in this show, and anywhere you need a monster it’s gonna be dark! Bloom seems to leave the magic portal open and we see her step out on the warehouse into a weirdly well-lit night on earth.

Real actual nighttime on earth. Bloom walks to her parents’ house and calls them from outside. Her dad’s surprised she called twice in one day. This call her folks seem just worried and nice, not awful like they were in the flashback. Bloom cries. She can’t ask her parents about the changeling thing. Her mom says very kind, ‘Your path isn’t like mine or your father’s but I can’t wait to see who you become.” Bloom hangs up and cries and watches her parents in their house, then walks back to the warehouse to return to Alfea.

But first we get to see where she was camping! In a little office in the warehouse. She brought a lot of stuff, bedding and pictures for the walls and everything. She opens a notebook and we see that she was experimenting already, discovered she was fireproof, wondered if she had superpowers. Then she senses something and looks out through an interior window into the rest of the warehouse.

Yikes! it’s a Burned One!

Bloom staggers back, trips, and drops Stella’s ring down a grate in the floor.

Bloom’s never heard of Burned Ones at this point but she knows a monster when she sees one. She cowers, back to the wall. The Burned One breaks through the window and tries to grab her!

Bloom escapes into some kind of tunnel, I guess she opened the grate that the ring fell through? It’s not totally clear. There’s the ring, on the other side of a different grate or screen, Bloom can’t reach it, there’s lots of roaring, Bloom runs like hell!

And there’s Dowling! She says, ‘don’t stop now.’ and gestures Bloom through the door back to the cemetery. The door closes behind her. Terra, Musa and Aisha are waiting to make sure Bloom’s ok. Bloom says the Burned One got the ring.

Stella, meanwhile, is on Sky’s bed when he comes out of the shower! Dressed, at least.

Sky is not interested. “You can’t be here, Stell. If Silva finds out-’ Sky goes for his trousers but Stella comes over and snuggles up to his bare back. Sky is still not keen. Seems Stella dumped him then went silent all summer and now she’s jumping in since he talked to Bloom. Stella… comes out and says, “I got jealous. I did something really stupid.” and she says, “I can’t sleep in a room where everybody hates me.” For sending Bloom into danger to get home when that’s what Bloom wanted? Not great, Stella, but hateworthy? Did the girls all tell her they hate her or does Stella just think she’s an awful person? And is Stella actually desperately unhappy or is she just trying to get in Sky’s pants? Not sure what to take away from this. Sky hugs Stella and tells her she’s better than she thinks she is.

The others get back to the dorm and Aisha reassures Bloom that Dowling can take care of the Burned One.

Cut to Beatrix leaving her raid on the library with armfuls of books. She passed Riven, who’s smoking. They say flirty things and Beatrix says she’s been “snorting the midnight adderall” to show that she’s a bad girl. Riven offers her a puff but her hands are full of books so they do this almost-kiss so Riven can blow smoke into her mouth. Erotic, also gross. Is that a real thing people do? Riven asks Beatrix if she’s a first-year and she says “I’m lots of things” and walks off leaving Riven and the room he’s in, which has the most gorgeous arched windows with trees in them. Is this place real? It’s the same place the party was but now it’s night and these windows are glowing green with tree outlines in them. This has gotta be something the filmmakers added.

Pajama scene in the girls’ suite, Terra waters plants, Musa hops in bed with headphones on. Terra does a needy little wave. Musa reluctantly un-headphones. Terra offers a speaker she borrowed from her brother so Musa can have her music without shutting other people out.

And I cringe so hard because just let people tune you out if they want! Communicate by whiteboard! People not wanting to share doesn’t mean they hate you, it means they have their own thoughts they’re busy with! Come on Terra, be better than your novelization self!

Musa calls Terra out on her fake-happy bullshit. Musa can feel all of Terra’s insecurities and anger. Seems like maybe empaths shouldn’t have to share a room! What’s the range on mind reading? How did Musa hit 16 without learning to tune stuff out or going mad? But Musa says, ‘but if you want to know how I really feel...” and switches her music to a speaker, it’s guitar-y and nice.

Up in Dowling’s office, Silva says she should’ve killed the Burned One not left it chained up and knocked out in a shack outside the barrier. Dowling needs to investigate this Burned One, see if there are more of them. Then Dowling spills that Bloom is a changeling, from the time the last Burned One disappeared. And she says, “Rosalind kept so much from us. I’m worried about the students. The Alfea they know is very different from the one we attended.” There’s something very “there was a war before” about the two of them. Dowling may not be sus after all, though that may make her a terrible headmistress depending on how the next episodes go.

Montage of sleeping students. Terra and Dane are texting. Dane accidentally likes one of Riven’s sexy photos. Riven’s pleased. Sky and Stella are sharing a bed but after the last scene I can’t imagine they actually did anything. Sky seemed pretty unseduceable.

And outside a Mysterious Cloaked Figure passes through the barricade, finds the Burned One in the hut, and zaps it awake with lightning. It pushed back its hood… Beatrix! So if she undid her too-tight braids she’d be Stormy? So is Beatrix the villain? I mean obviously she’s a villain but the threat of the Burned Ones feels... bigger than one teenager in Bratz clothes who has not got the presence of even one Trix much less all three wrapped up together. But anyway she’ gets to be a doomful cloaked figure at the end of episode one.

Very pretty ending credits music. Listened to it several times. I can’t understand the lyrics which is probably just as well. Is it in irish or is it just sung in a way to not have clear lyrics? C’mon fate, Irishness is a big thing you’ve got going for you, please milk it for all its worth!

I… I LIKED it! Now my friends say future episodes get worse so I can’t get my hopes too high but this wasn’t awful. None of the girls really had any vibe of their characters, only Bloom and Sky really look like Bloom and Sky. The worldbuilding is lacking, I’m left with more questions than answers.

And oh god one episode was ten pages and about five hours. I… I meant to do this with every episode but I’m not sure I can. There’s so much to comment on it takes forever. Maybe I’ll do each one in parts. Or maybe I’ll abandon the writing and just watch the show like a normal person. It’s a lot of fun to fine-toothed comb each scene but I’m’a be here forever!

#fate the winx saga

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benmparks · 3 years

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Shadow and Bone (Netflix) Review

Disclaimer: I started this post as a review for both Shadow and Bone the television show and Six of Crows the book, but as I say later on, the show review got much too long. Stay tuned next week for Six of Crows review, and maybe even a Crooked Kingdom review if I finish it before then.

When I asked what people wanted to see in this space, the most requested content was book reviews. Fun fact: I’ve been reading the same book for like two months. It is a long book, and not that easy to read. I still haven’t finished that book but I did finish another one which I will not be reviewing today because I feel the need to discuss the Netflix show Shadow and Bone first. (The book I finished is Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo, but we’ll get to that next week. I promise.)

Shadow and Bone (Netflix)

A week and a half ago I decided to watch Shadow and Bone on a whim, it is not what I’d usually be interested in but I am very prone to peer pressure and everyone on my tumblr dashboard was watching it. I watched it all in two days while I neglected my novel revision because I was down in the dumps. Was it good? Sure. Did I like it? Less sure.

The show follows a large cast of characters surrounding a central plot of Alina, a regular everyday map maker, finding out she is some sort of saint that can reunite these two nations that have been separated by a large slice of darkness that is full of monsters. It’s a pretty standard YA fantasy plot, she gets sort of kidnapped by the general of one of the armies who sweet talks her into believing that he wants to get rid of the darkness together. (He doesn’t). She has a childhood best friend, Mal, who is obviously in love with her and does some crazy stuff to get back to her and it’s all very romantic.

I’m sure anyone who has read the books, or even watched the show, is pretty angry about that synopsis but you get it, right?

From what I understand as someone who has not read these books, the show combines the original plot of the book Shadow and Bone, the first book in the Grishaverse series by Leigh Bardugo, and a new plot following the characters from Six of Crows. The events of Six of Crows happen after the events of, I believe, all of the Shadow and Bone books, so their inclusion in this is entirely new. (I believe. I probably should have done some research but this is what I’ve gathered from Tumblr.)

This results in a show that jumps around A LOT, which could have been confusing but I think it kind of worked in a way. I think they gambled on quality by including the crows, but in the long run it worked and everyone who wanted the crows involved were happy. I have one, tiny, small, complaint about it though and that is the inclusion of the Nina and Matthius plotline.

Nina is introduced as a grisha (sort of like a wizard, if you’re not familiar) who is supposed to help the crows kidnap Alina (the main character, very important grisha), but she gets kidnapped by witch hunters. That is her only connection to the main plot until the end, the rest of her scenes chronicle her time with Matthius (one of the witch hunters who she saves and then they fall in love, it’s very romantic). These are scenes taken from flashbacks in Six of Crows, except portrayed in a much shorter amount of time IMO.

My problem with these scenes and this subplot is that it has absolutely nothing to do with the main plot at all. I understand why they included it, I’m sure the fans wanted it, but I guess I just think it should have been included as a flashback later on when the characters become more important. (Kind of like it is in the book.) I also have a problem with how it sort of felt like insta love between a “witch” and a “witch hunter”, a little problematic in my opinion, but that’s getting too into the details.

A couple other negative notes: I’ve been told that Alina wasn’t intended to be Asian (or shu, as referred to in the show), and that any of the seemingly random racism in the show was added in because she was in the show. Obviously, I loved that they made the choice to make the show more diverse than the book might have intended, but I felt like the racist remarks were unneeded. They added nothing to the plot ultimately, and felt out of place since the cast was so diverse.

I think it was clear the show was made for people who have read the books, and I personally think that should not have been the case. I wasn’t really well versed on the lore of the grishaverse, and this first season didn’t provide me with enough information in my opinion. A fantasy show should spend more time lore building, I did just sort of feel confused a lot of the time.

Believe it or not, I actually did like the show! Just not for the plot. What I did like about the show was all of the characters. I really liked Alina despite my usual predisposition to not like main characters, I thought her and Mal were really cute. I liked that the misunderstanding of their letters being intercepted was smoothed over quickly, and that Mal was so accepting of Alina’s newfound power. I liked how the show jumped between the crows and the main plot until the end when they finally overlapped, with the crows joining the fight against the general who was actually trying to grow the darkness (called the fold). I love a good branching story that joins at the end.

And ultimately, I love lovvved the crows. Their scenes were the best, and I think that is possibly because they weren’t coming from a book besides the Nina and Matthius scenes. Also because the characters themselves were the best.

As I mentioned earlier, the crows were trying to kidnap Alina for a job. They’re a part of a gang, or are going to be, I don’t remember whether they already are in the show, but they take a job to kidnap Alina that offers a crazy amount of money. I should probably explain who the crows are, Kaz (the leader of sort, dark brooding sort), Inej (Kaz’s right hand woman, the spy of the group), Jesper (gunslinger with jokes, I love him), and then also Nina and Matthius but they aren’t involved in this season.

Their scenes were like a heist show suddenly, and I thought their dynamic was incredibly entertaining. Kaz is like all emo and dark and evil, and Inej is soft, religious, and also sort of dark and against killing people but...... she does......... for Kaz, and then Jesper is like the mood maker. They have to pull all these crazy stunts including disguising as entertainers, Jesper hooks up with a stablehand at one point trying to procure a horse, Alina straight up just locks herself into their carriage. The hi jinks, the banter, the longing looks between Kaz and Inej! The absolutely subtle way they did the Kaz and Inej relationship, knowing that at the start of Six of Crows (years later) they're still just pretending to not be in love. Needless to say, I finished the show and felt like I absolutely HAD to read the Six of Crows duology.

Which I think I’ll write a review of in another post because this got way longer than I intended it to!

Thanks for reading, I’ll see you next week (probably) for a Six of Crows review.

#shadow and bone #review #mine

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montocalypse · 3 years

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For 'If I go now, I'd look for another you': Qs 1, 4, 13, 14 and 15. And for 'Sleepless,' Qs 6 and 10. (I know these are a lot, so feel free to take your time.) Thank you!

Thank you so much for the ask @soy-celeste! As you predicted, this did take a while, what with NaNo taking most of my free time, but here we go:

If I go now...

1. What inspired you to write the fic this way?

Story time, kiddos. Back in early 2019, I was just generally feeling miserable and missing Monto while he was frozen out of the squad, and then Alessio posted a couple of photos on his Insta from some cultural event they both attended, and it was really all the push I needed. I’d never even thought of this ship before, but once I saw it, it couldn’t be unseen. I just loved the idea of these two spending time together and maybe even being friends outside Milanello.

I’ve always been drawn to the dynamic of being queer while playing professionally - some of you might remember my first longer story also exploring that theme - and I saw this as a perfect opportunity to take a deep dive. I’d rarely written Monto as the older/more experienced party before, so that was a bit of a challenge, but it was also very fitting considering I was processing my feelings over his absence and inevitable retirement through the story.

So, I wrote like half of the first chapter back in February 2019. Then I was floored by some massive changes in my personal and professional life, and dropped the story for over half a year. When I finally came back to it in the autumn, after Monto’s retirement had put things into a new perspective, I basically rewrote the whole thing to put more depth to their relationship and drive home this generational shift that was happening in Milan, with Monto being brushed aside while Alessio climbed up to become the captain. It became much more than just a simple coming out love story: I was basically reliving the last few years on Monto’s career through the story.

So yeah, the main inspiration was definitely Monto’s retirement, even though the story begins four years earlier. All the other themes - sexuality, friendship, feeling like an outsider, emotional growth etc - all ties back to it. In short, I was feeling emotional, so I was also expressing lots of emotions I was either going through or had gone through before, in the only way I knew how.

4. What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

What a sneaky way to make me go through the story again!

It’s a tie between two very different scenes:

“Ask me why I kissed you.”

and

“Even after I met Cristina and fell in love with her, I kept expecting something to go wrong – for her to find out and leave me, for me to realize I wasn’t really into her, for someone else to come along and tell me I couldn’t be the person I wanted to be…”

First one because it packs all the unspoken feelings into one single sentence. It’s a scene I wrote in one sitting, with next to no edits even in the final version, and this line was something I knew I would use long before I actually got to do it.

The second one because I’m sick of bisexuality being swept under the rug, and this whole scene was my official ‘fuck you’ to everyone who thinks that being in a straight-passing relationship makes us any less queer.

13. What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

Sunrise Avenue has been my go-to band throughout the creation of this story, with Heartbreak Century (where the title and all subtitles come from), Somebody Like Me (Crazy), and Question Marks probably being the ones I’ve listened to the most while working this story.

14. Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?

For the longest time I’d wanted to write a story with a bisexual character where the sexual identity matters. I feel like sexual orientation - bisexuality in particular - is often unfairly ignored/forgotten in favour of Fun Gay Shit(TM) in fanfiction, and it’s always kind of bugged me even though I’ve definitely done it myself on many an occasion.

In this story I wanted to show that being bi is a valid identity that affects how people act and experience the world regardless of their relationship status, and we go through a lot of the same struggles as other LGBTQ+ individuals, as well as stuff that’s specific to us. If there’s one reader who picked that up and maybe gained a new perspective on how they view sexuality, I’d be very pleased.

15. What did you learn from writing this fic?

That sometimes it’s completely OK to take my time writing and updating a story. I think this might be the first time I haven’t felt guilty for taking months to update, because this fic started as a personal therapy project that I never expected anyone else to pick up. And honestly? Had I written and pushed it out when the idea first struck me, I don’t think the story would have turned out half as good, because only with time and numerous edits (and lots of help from @hendos) did I find the right balance and my voice as a writer.

Sleepless

6. What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

I could be cheap and just say it’s the ship because this is the only time I’ve written either Edi or Diego. However, that’d be selling it short, because this is actually one of the most personal stories I’ve ever written.

I wrote it back when I was getting ready to move to another continent, and had to cope with an end to a very short-lived summer romance I’d gone through just before - that story didn’t end there, and it ended up being much more complicated than I’d ever imagined, but back then I didn’t know that. I just knew I’d found something special and I was choosing to walk away from it because if I didn’t, I would have regretted it. And that didn’t make the relationship-that-never-happened mean any less.

Sleepless, as short and (bitter)sweet as it is, re-tells a moment from the end of that non-relationship in as much detail as I could while also keeping true to the characters and context of the fictional relationship I was writing. I’m pretty sure it’s the only one among all my fics where I’ve basically lifted stuff from my own life and written it into a story with only some relatively small changes.

10. Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story?

I adopted Uruguay as my secondary national team during the 2010 World Cup after Italy went out. Sad, I know, but it was also surprisingly easy to fall for them when my attention wasn’t being hogged by the Azzurri. I remember falling particularly hard for Forlán, I was just awestruck.

When it came to choosing characters/pairing for this story, I knew I needed to find players with a clear age gap (to mirror the above-mentioned irl relationship) who were also living/about to live on other sides of the world. Forlán was the obvious choice because he was leaving Europe and I was upset to say the least.

As for Cavani, he was playing in Napoli at the time, so I’d been following him through Serie A, and was intrigued by this introverted singlemindedness I could see in him. I found it very relatable. He seemed like such an interesting person, I just wanted to take a shot at writing him, even if it was only a short piece.

#see what happens when i'm asked to talk about my stories #thanks for the ask i really loved looking back at these stories #soy-celeste #asks

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theskyexists · 3 years

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Jeeze

I've only seen one Christmas movie before in truth - and that was AWFUL - like, the second hand embarrassment was insane - and in the end she....kinda swapped her boyfriend for his brother? Lol. I enjoyed it for how awful it felt to watch and how the whole family bullied the main character because she was so socially inept/insecure. The escalation was incredible and the catharsis was uh....death. That has given me the impression that Christmas movies are all about dealing with family and relationship and personal problems and the way those three interact this movie really seems to be in that tradition - and I like it.

It's amazing how fucked up Harper's family is and it's amazing how much rejection and disdain and indifference and being left behind Abby is having to take. Like - damn. She's gonna have to express that soon or things will BLOW. Harper is being very stupid and selfish but I understand completely how it might come to this.

I love the chemistry between Abby and Riley - it's such a breath of fresh air - it's a GREAT contrast with the suffocating toxicity of Harper's family and their circles and etc.

Oh Harper - you fuckin dick

It would be funny if she lost her second girlfriend whom she's hiding from her family and throwing under the bus to her first girlfriend who she hid and threw under the bus.

I mean tragic of course. But I'm feeling slightly spiteful.

Kstew has SUCH great hair in this my god!

Harper you fuckin dick

I know exactly how this feels and it feels AWFUL

Harper you IDIOT you're risking your relationship you're risking it alllll

Also Abby is kinda an idiot' for lying the whole time. She's either a great liar or really Harper is wanting to believe her lies

Harper is clearly so stupid and scared all the time and also an asshole because of it. She has no space in her brain beyond : gotta make sure I make my parents proud & gotta make sure nobody finds out im gay

No band width

If I was Abby I'd be like - ok BYYYYEEEEE

Just to make her feel what she's breaking

Oh! She's actually trying to do that. Sucks u came here in your gf's car

Yes!!!! Go to her ex the only one who's treated you decently!!! HAHAHAHAHA

Jezus christ this mother....

AND hypocrisy about exes from Harper too.

Oh how the fuck could this turn out well for them ever???

LOVE how them being buddies is eating her. What has she told Abby???

Oh my god that break up HURT like HELL - so quick, so deserved, so tragic, so stupid, so awful. What a great shot. Great director.

Yeah Harper I get the shitty situation you're in but you haven't done enough I'm afraid. I mean, what the fuck was that with the friends and with Connor and letting her family and friends dismiss her roommate which means FRIEND. Yeah cos she's been trained to, yes bc she's working on 2 % brain power and the rest is spent on being afraid. BUT WHO WAS HURT IN THIS SITUATION

Yeah but it's hard not to offer comfort to a person you love when they're in pain

Ofc the fuckin sister comes in

The way they never have any privacy is really the problem

Oh god John - WHY. No no no I can't get through THIS part

'no one's supposed to know yet - we had an agreement' ???????

This is going to be........... Disastrous. Isn't it. Oh I am preparing myself in order to ENJOY these shitty parents' downfall and not feel the second hand lash of the whip

Do love how them being such shit parents sure is finally blowing up in their faces. HOORAY.

(agghhhhhhhhhhhhgggh)

Wow Sloane. Harper get her back. Just rip it all to shreds

Oh no. Nope. Harper fuckin hell. Please don't do denial. Just tell them that uhhhh her husband is cheating (is that what was happening?)

Oh NOOOOOOOOOOO

No!!!!

*office gif I can't find* NO!!!!! NO!!!

I can't seem to continue the video. Ok harden my heart. Just . Good practice. Harden heart.

Oh it keeps going. Oh fuck.

Welp. Guess you've lost it all. After all. Idiot.

Ah she was trying to go there but she never got there because she went denial first and that unexpectedly sounded really terrible. Yeah that's realistic. So in character so far. Thinks things will be simple and doesn't even imagine the hurt it causes others.

Liked the little shot of Sloane being like hmmm.....that didn't feel as good as I thought it would.

Damn these children are all horrifically stunted. Except Jane.

Jane is really wonderful and my heart hurts so much for her and she made me laugh about joining the fight. And I'm glad Harper looked stricken about what she'd done. (Once again, very in character). The thing is, I would have just pushed Sloane to the floor and screamed in her face as I shook her very violently. Pretty sure anyone untrained in martial arts would do that. But this is a film.

I like how they've basically made all these sisters equal in their parents' eyes - and destroyed their dads career in one fell swoop. Welll done! Finally some breathing room.

Oh god....that's so heartbreaking. Abby.....her parents. Christmas.... They really didn't tell each other enough at all huh

I know that John is right but it's still really hurtful though! Like goddamn

'I wanna be with someone who is ready' THAT'S AN AMAZING THING - BECAUSE THAT'S ALSO PERFECTLY VALID.

'you ok' from Riley. Wow

Harper now's the time to apologise for what you did. YES

god that was her best friend. She lost so much to this SHIT

NOOOOOOOO SHE DID IT!!!!! SHE DID IT!!!!

I'm fucking crying

Your career ruined your family's well-being! Greatttt!

THEY WENT BACK??? THEY DIDNT GO HOME??? WHAT THE FUCK LOL

I'd have just left

I guess its a good thing they didnt

Ok I guess - the - uh - I guess its cos the stress is gone but like - this also very much reads like - if you're a romantic partner you get to be important and otherwise not. Also I get why it's gotta be Mother, but this is Harper once again dropping the ball and not inviting Abby herself lol.

I knew Jane's book was gonna do well just from her brief plot description lol. So Happy John was so interested. Oh MY GOD I FORGOT HE WAS A PROFESSIONAL EDITOR. sneaky sneaky writing

I thought the height difference was gonna be awkward but so far it's actually been really cute

That was a great ending shot

THE DAD STILL WON? WOW wtf lol

OH MY GOD RILEY IS WITH THEM AT PRIDE AND SEEMS TO HAVE A GF! Those insta posts are actually a great epilogue.

#my stuff #vidi #happiest season #this was unexpectedly a great movie??????#bit sad about not seeing the proposal #for the first time in my life

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ticktickblog · 4 years

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Minimalism: How I Finally Found the True Beauty of Living with Less

A couple of months ago, I saw a TV series called Tidying Up with Marie Kondo, where a Japanese lady Konmari visited families to help them tidy their homes. The tiding process normally starts from clothes, books to sentimental items. A rule she’s given is only keeping what’s necessary and discarding those that don’t spark joy anymore. The basic concept embedded in the Konmari method is actually similar to minimalism.

Minimalism is about living with less. This not only means getting rid of extra material possessions, like what they did in that TV series, but also includes reducing mental burdens, and decluttering other aspects of life, e.g. digital life. It’s a less-is-more mindset that gets you to reflect on the current state of your life and identify what is truly valuable. With a minimalist lifestyle, people can sort their life well to enjoy more peace and freedom.

Getting rid of excessive material possessions

Among all aspects of minimal living, what we could easily start with is probably the personal belongings. I know this may still sound like a big project, but here’s what I did:

Observing

The first thing I did was to examine how much stuff I actually own, and I started with clothing. I pulled over all my clothes from several wardrobes and piled them together, which was really appalling, especially seeing hills and hills of clothes and some were years ago but still with the label on. I came to realize that I was kinda a semi shopaholic that I never thought I was.

Decluttering

Then it comes to the decluttering. I had to decide what to keep and what to toss. Considering some clothes are still quite new, I spare another choice for donation. It was quite a struggle to decide which item should go, but I asked myself two main questions:

Functionality: is it still functional/wearable?

Sentimental value: is it something meaningful/makes me happy?

It became easier with these two standards. For example,

Pieces bought out of pure impulse: donate.

Sweater my grandma knitted for me: stay.

T-shirts with holes: go.

Same type of dress: keep the best, ditch the rest.

Trousers I haven’t worn for the last year: go/donate.

Tip: One thing I learned from Konmari was the thank-you ritual. Thank the item for its sweet company before letting it go. This can help reduce your inner guilt when throwing things away.

Organizing

What was also suggested by Marie Kondo was organizing stuff by category instead of by location.This simply means storing the same type of items together, rather than letting them scatter in multiple places. For example, all towels go to one box, and all T-shirts should be collected in the same drawer, sorted by colors if you’d like. This helps when I need to quickly search for something, and also gives me a clear idea of the number of same items I own, which then can prevent me from buying more than I actually need.

Maintaining

To maintain the cleared-out momentum, regularly check if anything becomes excessive or nonfunctional. Also, always ask yourself the hard question — Do I really need it?/Do I already have it? — before you fall prey to consumerism that encourages you to buy excessively. Some minimalists stick strictly to the “one-in-one-out” principle, which means when they add something new, another stuff they already had should go. I haven’t tried this, it might be effective, but also be careful that it can lead to a simple replacement too.

Cleaning up digital clutters

Compared with visible substances in real life, what burdens us in the digital world is perhaps much harder to be noticed. A quick self-check can be: unlocking your phone and counting how many installed apps there are, or go to the photo album, and see the number of photos stored in it. In my case: 187 apps and 19220 photos. Amazing.

I decided to start the purge from those little cute apps. First I created different folders to sort them out by category. Interestingly, I realized I’ve downloaded 14 apps of a single type — photography and editing. Never knew I had a true passion for that. To downsize it, something particularly useful was: keeping the multi-functional apps because these are the ones I use most, just like TickTick, an all-in-one productivity app. Then the others are just a waste of storage. Also, let go of those barely used, for me the recipe apps, because I seldom cook, and also the recruitment apps, which were only used when I needed to look for a job. When finishing the decluttering process, the size of apps on my phone was shrunk largely to nearly ⅓ of the past.

The same process then went with my photo album, which was downsized to about 6k from 20k, after all the meaningless screenshots and repetitive selfies were deleted, and all trip photos were moved into cloud drive. This could further extend to messages or emails, if those are the severely-hit areas in your case. God bless.

I literally felt my phone was thinner after the whole process. Try it.

Reducing the amount of information I’m exposed to every day was what I did next. I’ve tried more radical way like cutting my phone completely out of daily life for 3 days in a row. It felt terrible honestly, and I used it for more hours as a payback once I got it back. A common misconception there of minimalism might be the elimination, but I think the difference is minimalism is not telling you to avoid something forever, it’s always about striking a balance between your desires and capacity.

Therefore, I’m enjoying my digital life, but I’m also trying to weighing it against my capacity of information that I can take in. Articles with exaggerated titles but cheesy contents needed to go first; numbers of newsletters subscribed should be restricted; time spent on TV series was limited; scrolling on social media posts was also reduced; notifications from apps were minimized… so on an so forth.

Reducing mental burdens

Lastly I’d like to talk a little about the effects of minimalism on mental world.

Also take myself as an example, I used to be addicted to expanding my social network, because I’ve long been educated: one more friend, one more road. Therefore, I took very good care of my social media accounts like they were just many MEs living on the internet. However, the larger my network size is, the more exhausted I feel. The more I care about how many likes I get for a new insta post, the more anxious I get.

Then I just realized putting so much effort into building social personas and expanding so-called friendships did nothing good, but added on my mental burdens. Why not spending more time for myself, and people I really love and care about? Understanding the truth of quality over quantity, I decided to:

Unfollow people I met on a party but never talked in life since then.

Delete those using me as a “problem-solving machine” but nothing else.

Delete those who barely contacted me unless they became sales.

Let go of those in close relationships but ghosted for whatever reasons.

Share what I’d really like to share instead of what my online friends like.

After doing that, I felt so much more relieved than before, because I finally understood that my time and energy is the very limited resources I have in life and thus not everyone around me is worth it. I truly get the meaning of living with less: spending less time on the unnecessary and what consumes you endlessly, but more on what you really need and what brings you joy.

Talking all above, you might feel inspired and would also like to try the minimalist lifestyle. But before you go, I’d like to kindly remind you of three gimmicks of minimalism I’ve spotted:

It’s not a disposal competition. Focusing only on the number of stuff you’ve tossed or people moved from your contact is not what really matters. And there isn’t a rule saying the less, the better.

It’s not a promotion of expensive brands with minimal designs. Some products brand themselves with minimalism, making it a new aesthetics standard with normally a not-so-affordable price. How ironic.

Make conscious decisions when ditching something, or else you may find yourself end up in a replacement cycle that causes extra expenditure.

In a nutshell, minimalism is a way of life and a way of thinking. It encourages us to focus more on what’s truly important in life and avoid other distractions; it becomes an antidote that saves us from drowning in numerous goods and boomed information; it helps reduce mental loads and spare some room for inner happiness.

So thank minimalism, go and enjoy life!

#minimalism #minimalist #minimalist lifestyle #living with less #less is more

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benisasoftboi · 4 years

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Unorganised Thoughts on Cindered Shadows:

Spoilers! All the spoilers!

Yeah it took me a week to finish it, as always, I’ve been busy

It’s possible that someone will remember that I’ve made a few of these, and that I said I’d be doing Crimson Flower next, but haven’t. I have finished that route. I wrote something up. It ended up being over 8000 words long. I decided no one would want to read 8000 words of me complaining about fantasy politics, and did not post it

If anyone is interested in knowing in detail what I think about any or all of the following: Edelgard (short version: good in concept, but severely let down by the writing), Fodlan’s politics (surprisingly complex! Which is why the main characters’ having such simple and naive politics is so frustrating!), Rhea and the church (she creeps me out), general opinions on minor things (most controversial: I actually like F!Byleth’s outfit) or various shipping opinions/headcanons (I like pretty much any pairing except Dimitri/Anyone, and Linhardt and Caspar with anybody but each other), give me a shout and let me know. I won’t be holding my breath, but like... if you want me to ramble I wouldn’t say no

Anyway! Cindered Shadows!

New characters ranked by how much I like them as characters, most to least: Yuri, Hapi, Constance, Balthus

Reasoning: I love pretty boys because I am, emotionally, still 12, stoic-type girls are also great and I love her design, she annoyed me a little at first but I thought the sunlight thing was interesting and she eventually grew on me, and I don’t dislike him at all, he’s just the least interesting to me

New characters ranked by how much I like them as units: Balthus, Yuri, Constance, Hapi (ugh, I really like her but she was total deadweight for me)

I’ve always really, really loved the concept of both underground cities and groups of people who have nothing in common aside from being outsiders, bound together by that one shared trait - so I. Love. Abyss. I wish the whole game was set there, it’s so cool

Some really good maps! Actually, let’s review each level:

1: Good intro to the Wolves. Aside from the ‘secret fourth house’ line, which is bad and makes what is otherwise a great concept sound really dumb. But the map itself makes for a very good demonstration of each of the Wolves’s deals. Bit messed up that you kill a bunch of Abyssians and no one really addresses that again, though

2: Even the game comments on the fact that releasing four waves of enemies in a circle gets tiresome. Least favourite

3: Wish the game had been a little clearer of the exact requirements for finishing the map. Also, enough reinforcements to almost be too annoying, but it managed to just avoid that, for me at least

4: This fucking level. I love an escape map in concept, but that goddamn doll at the start. I don’t know how I would have beat it if I hadn’t realised Edelgard can be reclassed out of her armor for better movement (speaking of deadweight units... was the same on Crimson Flower, Lord ranking in terms of actual usefulness in battle is Claude > Dimitri >>> Edelgard, and I say this as someone who normally loves defense-based units in video games). Anyway, despite the fact that it took me like six tries, this was my favourite of the lot - partly because it was so satisfying to finally beat, and partly because, like I say, I just love the concept

5: Breather level, thankfully. Cool to see Metodey again. But... why is he there??? I made Edelgard kill defeat him

6: Starts out really hard and gets easier. Biggest problem for me was the Bolting mages. I found that the trick was to use Ashe’s battalion gambit on Byleth and counter from afar with the Sword of the Creator. Map’s a cinche after they’re gone

7: A really, really cool final boss fight, and really great to just get to fight a big monster without having to slog through hundreds of other enemies as well (two per turn is fine, gives characters like Ashe who are too weak to fight the boss something to do). And there’s no way I could find to cheap it like on Crimson Flower (something I had to do then because of Cyril and his goddamn Murder Axe). Only wish it wasn’t the case that half of the Wolves can basically never touch the boss without being insta-killed. Hapi and Constance should have been able to do more than Phantom Aelfric Clean-Up

It was really nice getting to have all the Lords work together. I had Edelgard and Dimitri do a Gambit Boost and it was weirdly emotional

Am upset that no supports were available. Primarily because this would have been a great opportunity to add some side-story exclusive supports between the Lords. I get why they couldn’t do that in the main game, but I think the lack of any connection between them (besides the mostly one-sided Dimitri->Edelgard) is one of the game’s biggest downfalls, and this could have at least compensated a little

At least we got a few conversations in Abyss

Oh I wonder who the traitor could be, who is it, of the five characters we’ve met it couldn’t possibly be the really generic looking old guy who wasn’t in the trailer oh my god I’m so shocked it WAS him this is an unprecedented twist the likes of which we will never be graced with again

Liked getting some back story and an actual name for Byleth’s mother

I want to know how ‘Noa Fruit’ became a thing. Linhardt alludes to it, but I want that lore. Give me the Fruit Lore, Intsys

Also give me Mysterious Woman lore

I’ve said this before, but Gatekeeper x Abysskeeper OTP

Why can’t Yuri and Linhardt support I want them to bond over being smart bisexual pretty boys with grappler best friends (I have a very long mental list of characters who should have had supports together but don’t)

Yuri’s make-up is gorgeous. Love that design choice

The ‘Nabatean Chalice’ reminded me - I’ve kind of always wondered if Nabatea is meant to be a call back to Nabata from the Elibe games, or if it’s just coincidence that they sound similar

Will we ever find out anything about the Crest of Ernest or nah? (Fiver says if ever, it’ll be randomly explained in a Forging Bonds in FEH like three years from now. Wouldn’t put it past them)

So Byleth’s nickname was the ‘Ashen Demon’. And these guys are the ‘Ashen Wolves’. I kind of figured that would come up? Was it a translation thing?

I love how the reasons for each of the Wolves being in Abyss were “I barely escaped execution by the Church for the crime of murder”, “I was experimented on and now have dangerous magical powers”, “I’m the last surviving member of a collapsed noble family” and “I’m in like, so much debt, lol”. Kind of makes me wonder if Leonie ends up down there in some of her endings

Although I hear that there’s actually a little more to Balthus, as revealed by supports. I haven’t seen all of them yet, the only one I’ve looked up was Dimitri and Hapi because those two interacting intrigued me and... I know what I said above, but this might actually be a Dimitri pairing I don’t dislike? What is this???

I’ll watch the rest at some point, but won’t be starting a new 3H playthrough. Rune Factory 4 Special finally comes out next week and the moment my pre-ordered Archival Edition shows up at my door, it’ll be Fire Emblem who? The only dragon I know is Ventuswill, and the only empire I’m worried about is the unfortunately named ‘Sechs Empire’

Although, the fact that Kiel and Caspar have the exact same voice might end up being... hmmm

Eh, I got over Doug and Yosuke Hanamura. It’ll be fine :)

#fire emblem #fe #three houses #fe3h #cindered shadows #cindered shadows spoilers

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thotyssey · 4 years

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Known in the worlds of nightlife, cosplay and general geekdom as a photographer who brings comic book pizzazz and pulp sexuality into his subjects, Fwee Carter is here to make heroes and villains out of all of us.

Thotyssey: Hello Fwee! Thanks so much for talking with us today! How was your week?

Fwee Carter: It was well. I was walking in the park twice a week so I can get my leg back to normal. I’ve been using a cane for the past two years, and finally transitioning to walk without it.

You’ve had mysterious, long-lasting issues with your knee.

I’ve been to multiple doctors, but the main issue was that my knee cap was wandering… and it was corrected with surgery. But for some reason, it’s been taking a really long time to heal.

That sucks incredibly. You’d think, though, that quarantine would be a good excuse to just put that leg up and veg.

I’ve actually done the opposite. When my knee / leg issues started I was put on disability, so I was stuck at home for months. Instead of focusing on what I couldn’t do, I used that time to work on my art and started focusing on doing photo shoots and walking in the park. Now I’m focusing on the walking when I can, and learning K-pop dances so I can really move fast during my work.

K-pop is literally saving the world! Did you see how “K-Pop fans and Tik Tok-ers” allegedly froze out tickets to Trump’s Tulsa rally? Hilarious!

Yes! I live for K-Pop stans! They hold so much power! Honestly, Stan Twice. Stan Red Velvet.

“Fwee…” is that short for something?

Haha, no, it’s just Fwee. It’s my name. It was a name given to me in high school and it stuck, and honestly I love it.

Where are you from, and have you always been a photographer?

I’m originally from Queens, but moved to Long Island before my sophomore year in high school. I honestly was always interested in photography. I would bring a camera with me everywhere, but I thought it was because I wanted to be a reporter. It wasn’t until I joined the school newspaper when I really discovered my love for it.

Once in college, I really discovered Photoshop. I was a part of many, many online communities back then, and people would show me new techniques and tutorials–and I just fell in love with creating crazy images. I would practice all the time. It wasn’t until my last year of college that my professors really encouraged me to work on my craft of photography and photo manipulation.

When I finally moved to NYC, I wanted to start new and open myself up to try new things. I started going to G Lounge for their nerd nights. I met other geeky gay guys like me, and realized I could make this a series… and I just went in creating the Sexy Nerd Project, which is honestly my first and favorite project I’ve done.

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Drag performers and gogo gods are basically real life comic book characters, as far as photo subjects go.

Haha, yup! And the bartenders the DJs. Honestly, if you take the time to chat with them, turns out they are all big geeks.

Yes, geek culture and queer culture go hand in hand! That brings us to the geeky question of the moment: We haven’t had a great on-screen version of Storm of the X-Men since the old cartoon, but now we might see Beyoncé play her in Black Panther 2. Other fans are petitioning for Pose’s Dominique Jackson to get the role! Do you have any Perfect Storms in mind?

Hmm, let’s see. There is American Gods‘ Yetide Badaki, Aja Naomi King from How to Get Away with Murder, Anna Diop from Titans. Even Laverne Cox would make an amazing Storm! I do remember the actress from If Beale Street Could Talk wanted the role as well. But honestly, Marvel needs to cast a dark-skinned black person as Storm. Hollywood tends to cast lighter skinned black actors / actresses for roles meant for darker-skinned black people. It makes white audiences feel “safe.”

Speaking of X-Girls, I enjoyed your shots of geek goddess Megami as Dark Phoenix, and several other characters. She must be the perfect subject for you!

I’ve known Megami when she was just a shy geek, before all the drag. We would invite her out to geeky trivia and geeky Pictionary… and now look at her! She’s is literally running the show now. Oh. and that Dark Phoenix shot we did was actually after a cosplay shoot with her and a ton of friends as characters from Final Fantasy 10, and I had them throw her hair to give that effect!

Do you have an all-time single favorite pic that you’ve taken?

Ah, that’s a tough one! I changed through the the years, but I do love how much I worked on this shot [of Michael Sinatra in a TRON-inspired scene]:

But I also love this one [of Will Hutcheson] because I recreated the iconic Phoenix X-Men cover:

I see on your Insta that you’re posting a new series called “The Body Project” featuring sexy torsos of all shapes, sizes and hues.

Honestly, I had a dream about doing a shoot about it and I thought, “hmm, this sounds interesting.” But I wasn’t sure, so I talked to my friend Kevin and he pushed me to do it. So while I was shooting stuff for Easter, I decided to also take body shots just in case I decided to do the project. And then lockdown happened before I could finish my Easter shoots and upcoming glitter shoots. I edited the bodies I had so far, but I knew it wasn’t enough… so I went back and used images from past shoots. I was planning on asking a ton of different people to shoot, but of course I couldn’t… so I used what I have. There are so many people I wish I was able to shoot, to show off all different types of bodies.

Lockdown might be ending in the near future! Do you have any other projects lined up yet, or ideas you want to play around with?

Since going on my walks in Central Park, I’ve been finding some beautiful locations… so I may do some social distancing photo shoots in there.

Beautiful! Okay, in conclusion: your geek fandom has been well-documented, but who or what in the vast, obscure realm of genre nerdom do you stan the most?

It’s not obscure, but I have three huge fandoms–I know absolutely everything about each of them: Pokémon, Sailor Moon and Power Rangers / Super Sentai. But if we were going obscure, I’d have to say my favorite Power Rangers series is Power Rangers Time Force. I can talk about it for hours. It’s truly one of the greats.

Thank you, Fwee!

Check Thotyssey’s calendar for any of his upcoming appearances, and follow Free Carter on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and his website. All above photos by Fwee Carter.

On Point Archives

On Point With: Fwee Carter Known in the worlds of nightlife, cosplay and general geekdom as a photographer who brings comic book pizzazz and pulp sexuality into his subjects, Fwee Carter is here to make heroes and villains out of all of us.

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