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bettsfic · 13 days

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Venting-

When I hear people give the advice that writing is never a waste of time if you’re having fun or you should never feel like a story was a waste of time, you should enjoy the process. This advice I believe is real and true and works for some writers. But at the same time, there are writers who are very stressed when writing and feel better about their work when it’s finished. Not the “I enjoy having written.” But the “I have crippling anxiety and can only tell if my time, effort, and semi-breakdowns were worth something if I complete what I set out to do.”

Not to diminish anyone who agrees or resonates with the first statement, I admire those people a lot and wish I was calm enough to feel the same.

in my years of teaching and coaching, i've noticed there are two kinds of writers: "process" writers and "product" writers. rather, there exists a spectrum from one to the other.

on the process side, you have writers who reach a flow state fairly easily, who can become immersed in a world or idea of their own invention, and they write in large part to seek that immersive state. the end of a project seems more like a tragedy than an achievement because it marks the loss of the immersive state, and it will take energy and discipline and happenstance to find the next. i've also noticed that it becomes harder rather than easier to find that state over time; the more projects you finish, the fewer ideas appeal to you in the same way.

conversely, product writers get to feel that sense of achievement upon completing a project that process writers may lack, and that pleasure is worth the pain and turmoil of the act of creating something. product writing takes a lot of strength, patience, and discipline i think, to do something hard for the reward of having done it. it's the difference between an athlete and a surgeon. a person becomes an athlete for love of the sport, the act of playing. winning is important, but they wouldn't be able to win without first finding joy in the game. a surgeon, on the other hand, probably doesn't get into the job for the fun of operating. the fulfillment is in the operation's success; it's hard work with high risk. but the reward of saving or improving lives is worth it.

admittedly as a process writer it's always been hard for me to wrap my head around product writers. not only do i not have the patience to seek a sense of achievement, i think i'm mostly incapable of relishing any reward at all unless the reward is in the pursuit itself. looking back, i can't think of any single moment i've ever felt a sense of success. but also i've always struggled with concepts like ambition and competition. i've never had any drive to win anything, but also i've never felt much when i lose or fail. sometimes i wish those things mattered more to me, because then i would be a more driven and decisive person, and i'd be more successful in my career.

i know i'm on the extreme end of the process-product divide, and that colors a lot of my perspective of teaching and mentoring. but i think writers can shift on the spectrum depending on where they're at in their writing life or even with whatever project they're working on. i've been trying to have a more product-based mentality recently to at least develop the skill of shifting to the other side when i need to, so that i can get the patience and focus to write a novel that is not just me plopping my heart onto the page and hoping somebody out there cares. product writers have an easier time convincing other people of the value of their story, because the value of the story is a big reason why they write it. a purely product writer, like the surgeon, writes something because they feel that thing needs to exist in the world. meanwhile the only way for a purely process writer to be professionally successful is to happen by sheer coincidence to find an immersive state that also crosses with the interests of the current market. like the athlete, success involves training, hard work, and being at the right place at the right time. sure, churning out 100k words in a couple months and having a blast while doing it is great, but it comes from this wild inner place that can't really be controlled; meanwhile product writers can take that wildness and intentionally shape it into something. when you're feeling jealous of the other side, though, it's important to remember that both the meadow and the garden are equally beautiful.

#writing advice #process #product

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elvisabutler · 1 year

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quiet on the set ( part one )

summary: once upon a time there was a female director who happened to be a bit of a nepotism baby despite her father's known distaste for them. once upon a time there was a singer turned singing actor who just wanted to be a serious actor. this is the story of how those two people meet, kind of hate each other, make two award winning films together and fall in love along the way somehow. fandom: elvis presley | elvis ( 2022 ) rating: t, this part at least pairing: elvis presley x original female character word count: 3159 warnings: negative self talk. the colonel. talk of nepo babies. anxiousness. mild period typical misogyny. a whole thing about how transatlantic accents are the worst. playing a bit loose and fast with history. a use of the nickname princess that will exist this entire fic. author’s note: i have had this brewing since december. i've been trying to just straight up finish it before posting but i am truly at this point the most impatient and want to share it with everyone. it's based on a post by @steph-speaks who mentioned a female director and elvis winning awards and then @headfullofpresley and @burninlovebutler got at it and then oops angst. not spoiling it but this doesn't go exactly like the post i promise. i also can't find the post but steph has known about this for a long time. beyond that, so, few things of note, alfred hitchcock's actual daughter had said that he didn't believe in nepotism but i am deciding that in the case of a daughter who wanted to follow in his footsteps, well he could make an exception. in addition, transatlantic pictures shut down after three films but for the sake of this story, i do what i want and no it didn't. beyond that, picture elvis or austin elvis, works well either way i like to think. and special thanks to christi, bee, birdie and marina. i'd tag all of y'all but you're in the taglist so it seems silly. but those four have kept this chugging along more than i'm willing to admit. also credit to marina for the moodboard.

"That's the director?" Elvis asks a bit incredulously, narrowing his eyes at his manager, Colonel Tom Parker. "The one whose daddy gets her all the movies n' scripts she'd like and they turn out kind of good? That's who they've got directing this picture?"

Wasn't that just great, he's got one last shot to make a good- an honest to God good film and he's stuck being a part of the little Princess's latest vanity film. Well, he's hopefully stuck doing it, because while the Colonel assures him that he's going to be in it, that they'll have the contract whipped up in a jiffy but- she's insisting on an audition. Imagine that, him having to audition for a film, it's mildly embarrassing is what it is. He knows- god he knows his career isn't hot, knows that even with the special he's whipping up with Binder and Bones that his career's in the toilet like Binder said. But to have him have to audition for a picture that was a remake of Brando picture? It's an insult and an embarrassment to both him and her even if he figures this is the one time he can fully guarantee he won't have to croon some set of songs that the Colonel insisted get shoehorned in.

"My boy, they asked for you specifically, something about how they wanted a true Southern man in the role this time." The Colonel tries to explain before Elvis runs his tongue over the front of his teeth in frustration.

"Ain't from New Orleans, Colonel. Hell ain't even from Louisiana. Won't sound like Stanley's supposed ta-"

"Nonsense, you don't need to be exact. Just good enough. I've got you another picture! And they're paying you more than than the others." Elvis wishes that hearing that they're willing to pay him more didn't make his ears perk up but it does. It reminds him of how his daddy was mentioning they could use a bit more cash unless he wanted to get rid of some things or some workers.

"'nough to keep everyone happy?" Elvis asks gently, worried the answer is one he's not going to want to hear. He just needs to know his- needs to know his daddy isn't going to remind him of the cash flow problems.

"And more, my boy. It'll put you back on track, hm? I'll have to talk them into some songs but her producers and Miss Hitchcock herself know my demands." A beat. "Our demands."

Elvis can feel the migraine already starting to form behind- or maybe it's around- his eyes and finds himself leaning back against the chair looking up at the sky. It's almost as if he wants to ask his mama if it's the right thing to do. This- He remembers Streetcar, remembers his Mama thinking that Brando was good- great in it but telling him it was a shame a real Southern boy didn't get the part. Now that he's been in the movie business he understands why, understands that making a man from Nebraska talk like it is easier than letting a Southern man do it but find himself without a job because he can't shake how he sounds in a way that makes people- all those who like that accent they call Transatlantic- uncomfortable. Like sounding faintly hoity toity didn't make most people feel dumb as a bag of rocks and feel like Hollywood might be making fun of them. He might have lost his accent a little- consequence of being in California, he figures, he still knows he sounds a hell of a lot closer to Stanley than Brando did.

"Ya- Ya know I don't gotta record anythin' for this. This- this ain't a film that you can put 'em in. People- People won't be expecting that with me playin' him." He manages to avoid the natural infection he wants to add to the end of that sentence. Manages to avoid turning it into a question because he's not entirely sure. His pictures aren't doing as well and he's bored out of his goddamn mind with them, but is it because of the songs or is it because of him?

"That's what will make it different." The Colonel says with a smile that makes Elvis bite the inside of his mouth just a little in frustration. He wants to fight, to argue right now but it's not worth it to even try so he nods slowly earning an even larger smile. "I'll iron out the details. You just- knock her socks off, hm?"

A sigh leaves Elvis's mouth as he nods. He can feel the dreams he had for this film starting to crumble in his mind. The vision's already there, instead of screaming- shouting- bellowing Stella's name, he'll be singing it. Singing about how he needs her and how he's a fool. The same old song and goddamn dance for him to do so people can maybe buy tickets. Maybe see him in something they'll think is a departure from everything but is just more of the same bullshit masquerading as fun entertainment. Mr. Williams- Tennessee's gonna be mortified he let the Princess touch his film and cast him, gonna be mortified a fellow Southern man did his work so dirty. He can faintly hear The Colonel talking but the words honestly don't matter to him any more, washing over him like as if they're nonsense or a different language. Elvis stops nodding and giving appropriate hums after a while and finally was left in blissful silence to contemplate what exactly he had agreed to.

The day of the audition it's raining which Elvis thinks he should have taken as a sign from God that something was going to happen. What that particular thing would be he couldn't know but rain like this when the day before it had been sunny and bright? Hell, when earlier in the day it had been. The umbrella he had kept most of the water from drenching him but it was a near miss as he entered the building. Now, he knows very well where he's supposed to be, he had been told the room, had it written down on a piece of paper, everything, but here he was with a brain feeling half waterlogged and a piece of paper with smudged ink he couldn't read any more.

Well, he could read part of it. Something with the number eight in it assuming that wasn't just the ink smudging to make a zero turn into the eight. It shouldn't be that much of a problem, he doesn't know Warner Bros lots and buildings as well as he should but it's not like there should be that much of a difference between places- between studios. It should be easy enough to find, just look for all the places that had an eight attached to them and he's got to find her in one of them. He just hoped she wasn't a stickler for being on time given the circumstances. Hell, it's not as if this sort of thing was something he prepared for and planned to get caught having a problem with. Then again, maybe he'd get lucky, have a nice third time's the charm moment with rooms he tries.

Eighth time was the charm is what it was beginning to look like. How one place could have so many things that had things involving the number eight he has no idea. He looks at his watch and frowns, he's now almost thirty minutes late and what does he have to show for it? He still hasn't found her or anyone who's been able to even direct him to her. There's a part of him that's about to throw in the towel in sheer aggravation when he opens the door to reveal a woman just a few years younger than him looking so composed and polite he'd have thought he was looking at Princess Grace Kelly herself. Her brunette hair was pulled into a tight bun that somehow didn't make her look too harsh and instead seemed more practical than anything else. His eyes scanned her form starting with heels that he imagined gave her height but also served to lengthen her legs, not that he thinks she needed it, not that much at least. The longer he stares the more he swears she seems familiar but perhaps that feeling is just from the fact that she's another human being who looks like she just might be able to tell him what he needs to know. That she looks- reasonably attractive and has his eyes settling on her ample hips for just a hair longer than he should doesn't mean anything. Elvis manages to take a deep breathe before strolling in like he owns the place and stopping right in front of the woman in the room, completely ignoring the camera that is in the room.

"Thank God, someone who might be able to help- 'm supposed to be goin' to an audition. I know, having me audition for somethin', right? But I'm supposed to be auditionin' for Ms. Hitchcock and I can't find the room she wanted me t'have me do it in. And now I'm runnin' just a bit late and I figure she's gonna have a fit 'bout it." Elvis realizes he's mildly rambling and finds himself pretty thankful that by the grace of God he isn't stuttering from the nerves he feels in relation to this audition. The more he looked into it the more he realized she's a tough sell and is known for- bringing things out of her performers that make him excited- even if he's still so apprehensive- to maybe work with her. His eyes fllt to the camera, finally deciding to take his eyes off of her and her disapproving gaze. "Why are you in here with a camera by yourself?"

Her lips curl into a wry smile before she purses her lips and just lets out a slow exhale. "Imagine Mr. Presley having to audition for Ms. Hitchcock. I know who you are, Mr. Presley. But I take it you have no idea who I am. After all, I don't appear to be having- oh how did you put it- a fit about you being late. I did see the weather outside. Nasty bit for California if I'm being honest." She pauses and looks at him like she's peering into his soul before standing up and walking to him, holding out her hand when she finally reaches him. "Catherine Hitchcock, the reason you're having to audition."

Elvis is entirely aware that if he had a mirror in front of him he would get to witness his life flashing before his eyes and see the color drain from his face. He had just- She had just let him go on and embarrass himself. Formality or not, this was not how he needed to have things start out with him and her, especially since he's been practicing over and over and he wants this to work, wants to earn his place in this film. The Colonel may think it's a done deal but he doesn't think so and the more he looks at Catherine the more he thinks he's right. This would be the perfect excuse to keep him away from this film. He's not punctual, he's insulting, he's-

"Why, so you can tell me I'm too Southern for a picture that takes place in New Orleans?" The words slip out before he has a chance to stop them, his brain deciding he needs to defend himself from what slight it feels she committed against him. "Been told it's a formality, Ms. Hitchcock. They tell me wrong?"

Catherine tilts her head just so in a way that's infuriating to Elvis. She's studying him like he's beneath her, like he's some bug she's found in the dirt and is inspecting to see if she wants to keep. "I don't need a singing actor. They told you wrong, this is a serious audition and one I'm beginning to doubt you-"

"Prepared for?" He finishes her sentence with a huff of a laugh, shaking his head as he backs up a little. "Nice to know you're every bit the princess I figured ya were. Can't handle other people gettin' in on-"

"Mr. Presley." She warns as she moves back to her table and shuffles some papers before sitting back down. "I don't- you are thirty minutes late, we don't have time to- I need you to focus. We're busy people, are we not?"

His eyes slide down her form once more, noting how her relatively ample chest is heaving just slightly in frustration as she looks at him and he wrenches his eyes from the view as he nods. "Considerin' I gotta head to talk t'some more people, I'd say yeah. From the top, then?"

Catherine nods, moving to fiddle with the camera in order to attempt to tape this audition. "Yes, Mr. Presley, from the top."

What transpires next is the longest three hours of Elvis's life. He's heard about English women, sophisticated women being hard to crack, heard about them being hard to get a read on but if there's one thing he knows, it's how to read someone- how to read women specifically. Even though he had been such a nervous boy and young man, he knew how to charm them nowadays. Knows the ins and outs of their faces and how he knows that he's pleased 'em. But Catherine is blank, she's blank and silent. All the other directors had mentioned things he might need to change when between takes or between different lines. Yet here she was leaving him to drown in uncertainty. Leaving him to drown without offering a life preserver to tell him he's doing good, to tell him she likes how he's approaching things. He's pretty sure he'd take her telling him he's atrocious versus this silence. Is this how people feel working with her father? Is this why- no Elvis can't dwell on it, can't dwell on the possibility that Little Miss Princess Hitchcock is going to be cruel enough to tease him with a part only to deny him it. Elvis starts to open his mouth to begin again before Catherine holds up her hand and shakes her head.

"I've seen enough, Mr. Presley. Heard enough of your voice for today, I'm afraid." Her tone sounds bored, he thinks, but maybe that's just how she sounds in general, maybe that's not a true sign of her dislike or enjoyment of his performance. He wishes he was able to read off of whoever's playing Blanche, oh he knows he could have shined better. Shown off how good he is playing off of other humans and not a wall of silence other than required lines. He runs his tongue across the front of teeth before his lips twist into a frown of sorts.

"That it then? Ya done wit' me?" Elvis asks and there's a small part of him that knows he means it a multitude of ways and not just if she's done with him today. Catherine's response startles him when she nods with a certainty that has his stomach dropping to the floor.

"I'll be in touch if you got it, Mr. Presley. After all, I never did say it was a guarantee. To you or to Colonel Parker. If he told you any different, that is entirely his fault." Her body easily moves to stand up and starts to grab the roll of film. "Your voice suits him well enough, though, I suppose. If you can shake any lingering California traces."

"I don't have any-" Elvis starts before he hears the tap-tap-tap of her heels against the floor and feels her finger on his lips.

"You do. Now, if you excuse me, do go and handle your business that I've kept you from, I'd hate to be known as someone who caused you problems like that." She pauses, and turns around, leaving Elvis to stare at her backside and the way her high waisted pants are somehow perfectly tailored to her body and- he was not going to dwell on that.

Words and defenses that are on his lips died as soon as he felt her finger against his lip so he nods and gives her the largest and most sincere smile he can manage. "'Course. Have a good day, Ms. Hitchcock. Lookin' forward t'workin' wit' ya. If ya go with me."

There, that's what he needed to do, to plant a seed so she'd know he was serious about this job, that he was serious about wanting this for so long and no one wants to give him a chance to prove himself. This time he could do it though, this time he wanted to do it and this time he wants to hear some form of praise coming from her mouth. He leaves the room as he hears her sigh and hears a small creaking noise from the chair.

Waiting for Catherine to call him involves days that feel like blurs and yet feel like they never end at the same time. Nothing to the Colonel, nothing to him, not even her calling to tell him that he was the worst actor she had ever come in contact with. Two whole weeks of being on edge waiting for some knowledge only to be let down every single day. It's the 8th of the month now and he hears the phone ring and Elvis swears he's never moved so fast as he has from the front door of his house to the nearest phone. Catherine's voice rings out through the phone and Elvis finds that he's holding his breath.

"Stanley Kowalski?" She asks and Elvis feels the breath he was holding rushes out of his mouth in a flash. "I'm teasing, Mr. Presley. But, I'm formerly telling you that you've- With you I do believe I found my Stanley. If you're willing to-"

"Ms. Hitchcock I'm willin' t'do anythin' to do him justice. Know I'm not Brando- but- you won't regret this and I'll- I'll rein in the Colonel, won't have him addin' songs." Elvis cuts her off and he hears what he swears is a small smile in her voice before she shushes him.

"I'll believe it when I see it, Mr. Presley. Don't be late for the first day of shooting, hm. Come rain or shine." Catherine's voice almost sounds like she's teasing but Elvis can't tell. It's probably what influences his response more than anything else.

"Wouldn't dream of it, Princess." He responds before hanging up the phone.

It's only afterward when he's laying in bed that he realizes that quick hang up might have been a mistake. Even if she is a little princess, he probably shouldn't have called her that like he did.

"Shit."

taglist: @blurredcolour, @ab4eva, @precious-little-scoundrel, @butlersxbirdy, @thatbanditqueen, @eliseinmemphis, @powerofelvis, @prompted-wordsmith, @mooodyblue, whoever wants to be tagged for this fic, just leave a comment, alright?

#elvis presley fanfic #elvis presley #elvis presley x oc #60s elvis presley #60s elvis #ken doll elvis #hollywood elvis #elvis presley fic #elvis presley fanfiction

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tricks-n-illusions · 9 months

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{ @askoinari } So, your one true wish in this whole entire universe is to die, hm? Tragic, pitiful really. All this fuss and a temper tantrum because you couldn’t win mommy’s love? Even your own god does not grant you the peace you so desperately long for, stringing you along like a puppet. Do you honestly think your death will solve all your problems? Knowing your god, they’d probably spite you back to life in the form of a ghost for a laugh, wouldn’t that be ironic? I suppose nobody else would care about your death considering your track record for violence, but what of your No-so-apparent companion here? Wouldn’t they mourn you, at the very least? Judging from your charming nature, probably not! Good luck on your fools’ errand. - Yako

Silas's ears flattened as he backed away from Yako, for the first time it seemed he was fearful of someone. Though you couldn't place why... But, Silas knew, he knew exactly why, it was that damn mask, the posture, the aura, the way their tail seemed to become a wisp. It was like looking at a ghost. Once he realized why Yako scared him Silas couldn't do much but freeze in place and squeeze his eyes shut, hoping they would just leave. His fear response became painfully apparent as the moments passed. All he could muster up was a feeble anxious whimper, maybe that would magically make them spare him from the incoming verbal assault. Then they spoke. It sounded just like her. In his terror it WAS her.

Seance's tone was mocking, something Silas was guilty of doing... or maybe he was just copying her the whole time. Even so, she just quietly hummed in thought, looking over him as she ever so slightly inched closer and closer.

"Even after all these years, you're still chasing after her love? Desperately hoping one day she'll forgive you for all the pain you caused her?" Though Seance's voice was soft, her words were not. "I told you, She doesn't love you and she never will. Why can't you get that through your head?" She paused, giving her words a moment to sink in before she spoke up again. "Silas." She sounded upset. "What did I tell you about not looking at me while I'm talking to you?" He cringed at that but didn't reply.

When he didn't do what she said, she just gave a soft, "Tsk." Well, He always was a coward, of course he didn't have the guts to even look at her. She gently brushed a claw over his face before finally letting go with an annoyed sigh. Despite Seance's words, Yako's voice was still loud and clear, mocking him along with her. Her voice seemed to compliment theirs perfectly.

Seance quickly broke into laughter at the thought of that herself.

"Isn't that right, Little fox?" Truth always hurt. Silas couldn't deny it, Yako was right. Seance was right, every word every insult was right. When tears finally began to well up and Seance's voice faded, Silas found the courage to speak. His voice was soft and faint. A mere whisper compared to the onslaught of words from Yako. "Please..."

Silas's words obviously went unheard. His claws just dug further into his skin, blood beginning to trail down his arm, the moment it finally seemed like Yako was going to stop talking, Silas broke from his fearful trance. In one quick sweeping motion, Silas threw out a Night Slash.

"JUST SHUT UP ALREADY." He shouted. "You have NO right to TALK DOWN to me like I'm beneath you! I AM NOT BENEATH YOU." He sounded unsure. "You don't know who the fuck I am, and I don't think you want to find out. So, Shut the fuck up or I'll make you! I have no fucking problem with killing you right here. Unless you want to be gutted I suggest you FUCK OFF." Silas lowly growled, his teeth bared, a blatant attempt at aggression, though his behaviour portrayed more fear than anything. Yako obviously touched a nerve with his words.

He didn't care. Finally, after everything the tears began to flow, all he could do was sniff and wipe them away. "...Fucking pathetic." He grumbled, his words seemed to be addressed to Yako but it quickly became clear it was for himself.

→ Yako has been added to the relationships page. → Seance has been added to the characters page. → Silas is now injured and will stay that way until he addresses it.

[ Ask from @askoinari ]

#Long post #very word heavy #tni: chrono #tni: silas rune #tni: seance #tw: gore #tw: blood #I tried to leave it open ended about attacking yako cause #Silas essentially just threw a night slash + his own blood at them so could be anything really #simply a blood splatter? who knows #if you feel like replying Silas is at your mercy do whatever you please to him #I got backup plans for my backup plans /hj #...And ah yes this is the famous way seance died - picking at silas till he just flipped out on her #dudes seriously unstable Silas can dish insults out but he sure as hell cant take it when they target him so personally #Thank you so much for sending this ask I was so excited for it!#Chapter 1: The Introduction

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zyalahdoodles · 2 years

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i would love to hear your companion rankings!

Okie dokey, I'm just gonna stick to Tens companions here just so I don't write a full dissertation (this is still going to be hella long).

So we have Rose Tyler, Mickey Smith, Martha Jones, Jack Harkness, Donna Noble and finally Wilfred Mott. So let's get to it;

Last Place: Rose Tyler. Now here me out, as a child I ADORED Rose. She could do no wrong in my eyes. I wanted to grow up to be her, and was absolutely devastated when she was trapped in Pete's world. HOWEVER now as a 28 year old, out of all of Ten's companions she is my least favourite. Why? Her possession over the Doctor just really rubs me the wrong way. Rose when she's with Nine is great (minus how she acts with Mickey in Boom Town) but as soon as the Doctor got 'hot' and she realised she was in love with him, suddenly he is hers and hers alone, and damn any other woman who even breathes in the Doctor's direction. And my justification for saying that she got possessive only after the Doctor got 'hot' is her reaction to his possible regeneration in season 4. Yelling "You can't!" to someone who is dying and therefore needs to regenerate to survive is a bit ew for me. Then there's the little things like her wanting to get her own way and knowing she can get away with it because she's Rose (S2 Ep5-6), her being mean to Sarah-Jane, violently yelling and shaking a possessed victim of abuse (Fear Her) ect. Her fashion still bangs though imo. I have her New Earth outfit, tooth and claw outfit and Season 4 outfit.

5th Place: Jack Harkness. Controversial opinion I know. I just don't vibe with Jack after season 1, I'm sorry. And in Season 3 he just doesn't really have a purpose after Utopia (unless I'm forgetting something important). I like the set up of him being pissed the Doctor ran away from him, but I don't feel like the pay off was as strong as it could have been. And in the Season 4 finale, I honestly forgot he was in that until just now, I remember everyone else, hell I remember Ianto and Gwen but Jack...Finding out he's the Face of Boe is great though, and in my opinion his character should have been retired then.

4th Place: Mickey Smith. WHAAT! Yeah I'm surprised too. Mickey probably has one of the best boyfriend to hero arcs out there (Rory wins that category though). Ten's Mickey is a friend, and less the butt of the joke. I love his progression in School Reunion, and when he finally gets the courage to ask to join the TARDIS crew. Surprisingly I don't mind his gloating towards Rose's jealousy, he's spent two seasons watching someone who is supposed to love him fawn after this alien and finally she is a little humbled, I dunno, I just don't take it as egregiously as others. Then his character finally becomes his own person in age of steel and he chooses to stay behind to help a world that doesn't have a Doctor but needs heroes. And once again in season 4 he makes the best decision for him to leave Rose and continue his own life after he sees the writing on the wall, and then he finds true partnership when he marries Martha.

3rd Place: Martha Jones. I personally want to apologise for every butt hurt response twelve year old me made when they revealed that Martha was Rose's successor. I was fully on the THEREISONLYONECOMPANIONANDITISROSSSEEEETRULUV4EVA!!!!!!! train at the time, but like with my opinion on Rose, the benefit of adulthood makes me see Martha completely different, and I love Martha Jones. She deserved the whole damn world, and still does. Martha is the friend I wish I had, her journey from wide eyed medical student to hardened soldier is beautifully devastating. All she wanted to do was help people, and in the end she saved the entire fricking world all on her own, with nothing but her determination, faith and words. Without Martha there would be no magical tinkerbell Doctor in the series 3 finale. Not to mention she single headedly supported the Doctor TWICE when they were trapped in the 1960's and 1910's respectively. I hate having to see Martha trapped with John Smith and the racist assholes of Human Nature and Family of Blood, but once again it just shows how strong and loving she is. Martha could have stayed in the TARDIS, she could have told the Doctor to get his own bloody job in Blink but she didn't, she chose to help him, and she will always choose to help those who need her (eg the Fish alien in the doctors daughter). Plus who doesn't love a red leather jacket.

2nd Place: Wilfred Mott. I sobbed when Bernard Cribbins passed, because of just how much I loved Wilf growing up. I wanted him to be my grandad so much. Wilf is kind, funny, loving and so so understanding, Donna is the luckiest woman in the world to have Wilf. Plus he's just so damn resilient, the man stayed in London during Christmas just because he wasn't going to bow down to those darn aliens. His joy and excitement for all things space and alien is so infectious and wholesome. Wilf is such a spectacular emotional supporter not just for Donna but for the Doctor too. Wilf has seen some shit and refuses to let it get to him, even in the Christmas and new years specials. Wilf is the personification of why the Doctor keeps saving the Earth and humanity, because yeah there are fucking assholes out there, but the world is worth saving if there is just one person like Wilf. Truly I think the only way to stop the Time Lord Victorious (aka temper tantrum ten) in The End of Time was to juxtapose him with Wilf.

FIRST PLACE: Donna Noble. Season 4 is a tragedy in slow motion because of how GOOD Donna's character arc and progression is. As a character who started off as a one of comedy guest star and blossomed into the most important human in all of creation, I can't even begin to describe how much I love Donna. She is the Doctor's heart and conscious. We've seen who 10 is without her, and he's even worse when he loses her. When Rose is trapped he refuses to break open the walls between universes even when Rose jokingly says "So?" but after the Doctor loses Donna, his true best friend? Less than 3 adventures later and the laws of time and space are HIS TO COMMAND!!!! He fucks with a fixed point in time because he's just lost too much. Donna was the final piece of the Tenth Doctors 'humanity' if you will. All of that and she's just fucking funny and clever (despite what she might think). She is the companion I'd most want to travel with, and I can't wait to see her, Wilf and 10 again.

#doctor who #10th doctor #tenth doctor #rose tyler #martha jones #donna noble #jack harkness #mickey smith #wilfred mott #dw companions #opinon #the doctor

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scratchandplaster · 3 months

Text

FEBUWHUMP DAY 13 - "I love you"

CW: love bombing, conditioning, emotional manipulation

Previous | [Masterlist] | Next

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To go unpunished for his betrayal sounded more than fine, too good to be true in all honesty. If Dad planned otherwise, he had been given about enough time to get it over with already. Unless his words were full of the honesty Ben always wished from him.

At the very least, his dad hadn't asked about Lukas yet, so there was still time to think of a makeshift alibi. Ben wondered what his brother was doing right now. Probably being furious about his trip back home or locking himself in the pantry until things went how he demanded, either way would end badly for everyone involved. Maybe he could write a postcard…which street was it again?

Stepping out of the community tent, their feet met dew-sprinkled grass, wet from the light drizzle this afternoon. Leading Ben to the cooking station on their left, Shepard greeted the big table full of busy chefs: chopping, dicing, mincing away the fresh greens picked off the fields. In the middle of the pasture, close to their creek, the table was being set.

Not a single molecule had left its place since Ben left.

"Hello, Shepard," Birdie exclaimed and turned fully towards them, "and look who you have in tow!"

Oh, dear. Dad wasn't upset, a clear win, but his other family definitely had to be furious with him.

"Hello, Birdie," Ben mumbled and pressed himself closer to his father. Shepard was a good catcher, so no matter what she would throw at them, it wouldn't hurt very much. Hopefully.

Her bright laugh rang through the air: „Why so shy, buddy? I hope you didn't forget me during your adventures, I'm so glad you're back again. Would you be a doll and put this on the table?"

Birdie came closer to hand them a basket full of eggs, still toasty from their boiling water bath. Her reassuring smile told Ben everything: there was no need to be anxious. She, too, hadn't changed.

Luckily, the warm dish and Shepard's expert knitting held back the fresh evening breeze, as slowly but surly everyone collected in the center of the pasture.

"How did you know where to find me, Dad?" Ben wanted to know, strangely thankful.

"Oh, I had a bit of help. All this new technology does have its perks, if you know how to use it."

Bens perplexed face just lured a hum out of Shepard: "I can tell when you are in distress, a parent can feel such a thing."

Finally arriving at the oversized plank of wood all members of the settlement had a place at, new and old faces greeted them cheerfully: the daily chores were dealt with.

No Sam in sight, though, maybe they liked to eat by themself. Luke did this often, much to his friends' sorrow.

Without warning, Ben was knocked over by a harsh force. Shawn was grabbing onto his waist as if he never intended to let go again, a squeeze so tight Ben gasped for air: "Yes, you're finally here! We were dying of boredom out in the woods."

Quickly, Ben twisted himself out of Shawn's hold to put the unlucky guy into a headlock and give him the most ruthless noogie until he was nearly hyperventilating through his giggles.

Ben let him go...for now! Sitting back up in the grass, Shawn breathed heavily and pulled out a thin string of colorful yarn: "Look, I made you a bracelet while you unpacked!"

Ben blushed; any more gifts and he would have a whole welcoming outfit ready to go.

Shepard's expectant hand brushed through his hair again: "And what do you say, starshine?"

"Thank you, I love you!" was the automatic response. Not his own words, a fact Reuben failed to comprehend.

"You're welcome, I love you too."

No judging stares, no hateful words. At last the settlement came to a rest as every member, always present or just staying for a brief visit, took a seat.

One after another let their hands join to an unending chain around their day's work, silently thanking each other for providing their share. Be it the field workers, the washers, or the beekeeper: everyone was cherished.

The piping hot stew in front of them was justly handed out, nobody had to go hungry. The hearty broth full of soft potatoes, onions and a tolerable amount of fennel was Ben's first real dinner in a long time, no tepid ramen or Hot Pockets could keep up with the domestic warmth filling his heart and stomach. Still, he always tried to ignore where the meat came from.

Between exhausted bits of silence and easy conversation, Ben finally had the chance to pass out little pieces of chocolate that he prepared beforehand.

One of the few things they had to forgo out here, the closest candy they could make do with was Otis' always popular pumpkin butter. Maybe one day he would figure out how to plant cacao trees. Even the triplets enjoyed his gift, all under Birdie's reluctant eyes. Shepard practically saw the warning "processed sugar" looming over her head but, like many of her other dogmatic opinions, chose to ignore it. Today, they would celebrate.

Every breath felt natural again. Here Reuben knew what to say, how to behave. To just be himself. Ben was precisely where he's supposed to be: the puzzle piece in a bigger picture.

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Thanks for reading 🤍 [Febuwhump 2024 Masterlist]

@febuwhump

#whump #whumpblr #creative writing #whump community #whump drabble #febuwhump #febuwhump2024 #febuwhumpday13 #love bombing #conditioning #emotional manipulation #conditioned whumpee #parental whumper #cult setting

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skyephobic · 2 years

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asking for an akane analysis🤲🤲🤲

oh anon are you Ready for a horrible ride.. here's a very messy akane analysis!

just a heads up, this is 1256 words long. beware!

akane has been a very confusing character from the start. the first time he's actually introduced, he's obviously 'in love' with aoi. while aoi is a big part of his character, that's really all he's ever seen for; being obsessed with her.

there are serious problems he has when it comes to this 'love.' the only reason he 'likes' aoi so much is because he feels like he can be with her comfortably. she isn't drawn away from him and vise versa. he thinks she accepts him the way he is. but in the end, that's not even true- it’s not the case at all, it’s far from it.

he changes himself for her and for people in general. he changed himself so people in his class would trust and look up to him and also changed himself to be more approachable. he's just changed himself a whole lot, honestly. it’s a very prominent part of his character that can’t be overlooked.

he's an obvious people pleaser because of this constant changing. even after aoi doesn't show interest in certain people after a certain amount of time, akane seems to continue some of the stuff she found intriguing anyway- mainly things he was either known or looked up to for. he continues to pretend to be nice to everyone as the class rep and also stays in the student council. he lets people rely on him a majority of the time, even when he bites off more than he can chew- which is pretty often.

because of all these changes, the only thing he really knows about himself is that he isn't likable unless he shapes himself into the way people want him to be.

he has no clear sense of self and doesn't even know himself how his own personality is anymore. he's gotten so deep into changing for others’ wishes and trying to win them over that he doesn't even know what he likes. he claims that he enjoys 'raspberry pie' but that’s only because it's what aoi likes. he also claims that he likes 'whatever aoi makes for him' even if she hasn't made him anything. he doesn't have anyone he actually feels comfortable enough with to be himself without fear of disappointment and not being liked other than teru and lemon. he only has four friends, actually. aoi, yashiro, teru, and lemon. i’m not actually really sure if yashiro counts, but because of ch 72, i’m including her.

his view on love is also insanely blurred. like, it's seriously bad and an ongoing problem. the thing he feels for aoi is nowhere near love, and so he doesn't know what it's like to really love someone. i'm not sure if this may be caused by family or something else in his childhood, but it doesn't look like anyone really loves him for who he is, so he has trouble expressing proper affection and love in general. he's shown as sarcastic and too honest to some people. an example would be telling yashiro her opinion could 'eat shit and die' or being a little too aggressive to lemon. he's obviously not very good with friends or most people in general. he says himself that people "wouldn't be his friend if they knew how he really was." so he doesn't know what it feels like to be loved back unless he changes himself continuously- which means he doesn’t really know what it feels like to be loved at all.

the reason people ship terukane so much in my opinion is because they both feel comfortable enough to not pretend to be their perfect nice selves for each other. akane doesn’t force himself to filter out his thoughts around teru and vice versa. but unfortunately for me, this isn’t a terukane analysis. forgive me but i had to include this

anyway, akane can actually read other people easily. when it comes to aoi and teru, he can see right through their fake personas; but he knows nothing about himself. he's shown to get upset at them for this reason, pretending to be people they aren't despite him doing the same.

he doesn't like himself OR seeing himself in others. he obviously sees himself in teru. that same reason is why he doesn't put teru on a pedestal like everyone else and treats him the way he actually sees him; which is not very human. teru treats him the same way back. while he's somehow comfortable enough to treat teru the way he sees him, he puts on a persona for aoi the same way she does to him. he only snaps during ch 69 when he tells her he hated her and her persona from the start and found it 'cute' when she cried. it was the only time she was being herself around him. he listened to teru during ch 79 as well because he was also being his true self. i feel like he envies them for that type of thing.

while they're able to actually be themselves at times, he can't because he doesn't have a clue on what he's like anymore. he's hid and repressed his personality for so long that he just can't be the same. teru and aoi might put on a persona to the public, but they know how 'horrible' they really are even if they hide. akane only knows that he's horrible and nothing more.

there's so many reasons he could be this way though. like i mentioned about his family, he might not have been properly loved? the oneshot about him and lemon proves that he was taught that looks and first impressions were everything. he was obviously taught things as a kid that caused him to want to change for everyone. in fact, when he first meets aoi, he's shown with his parents and they sort of motion him towards her. aoi says that he was always polite and 'easily liked' from the start, but that he held the worst burden. he helps out and gives things his all even when he complains in secret. he's been pretending for other people for so long and it's the same reason she 'hates' him too. i wouldn't say it's akane’s fault per say, since it was drilled into his head to be somewhat grown up since childhood, but he genuinely doesn't seem to know when and when not to stop.

that’s probably because a lot of people give into the way he thinks and that's a huge problem. the way aoi acts towards him enables his personality shaping behavior. the way other people put pressure on him to help them enables him as well. there's so many reasons he has to just keep changing and it's really unhealthy at this point.

this may be more of a headcanon, but i believe he has some sort of abandonment or attachment issues. that would tie into his possibly messy and unwanted childhood and family problems, so it sort of fits all together when you think about it. if he didn’t fit their wants, they might have threatened to leave- so when they were around, he was super attached to them. though like i said, this may be reaching…

tl;dr, akane changes himself constantly so he doesn’t know what he’s like. he doesn’t understand love, both given and received. he probably didn’t have a good childhood and now he has abandonment and attachment issues. he also hates himself and doesn’t like when people are like him.

thanks for reading!

#akane aoi #tbhk #jshk #character analysis #toilet bound hanako kun #jibaku shounen hanako kun #akane aoi analysis #this took me 30 minutes to write for some reason #akane has issues

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jazztato · 2 years

Note

Hey it's me again I was wondering if you could do a god asra x reader headcanons please if not just skip this have a lovely day

Of course I'll write this!! My computer has been acting up not letting me post this 😭😫 so I'm trying again on my phone, story head canon time hope u like it!

Rules are meant to be broken (God Asra x reader)

Asra's P.O.V

Another day, another fortune to be read and by that I mean a 7.753 billion fortunes to read, it's just the same thing every day, whether it be someone losing their keys, getting dumped, or dying at such a young age, these mortals don't have anything interesting going on in their lives.. It's just the same thing over and over again, I wish something more interesting would happen for once, I may be able to see into the future but I can't see to far, we gods have our limits, but if I was able to see far into the future I would use it to see into one mortals future just to see what her future would be like.. Us gods are forbidden from falling love, but I can't help it especially when it comes to this one mortal girl, every time I look into her past I can see that she was such a kind and sweet girl, who always stopped what she was doing to help her neighbors or to help an elderly person cross the street, but as she got older her so did her present day, sometimes I would sneak my way down to the mortal realm and disguise myself as one of them just so I could be a bit closer to her, I know most people would consider this as 'stalking' but that's not my intentions at all! I just wish to get to know her more without having to look through her past or her future.. I may be a god but I also wish I could feel normal for once just so I can be with her. If the other gods found out about this I would be in so much trouble, I haven't been down to the mortal realm in months, sometimes I would tag along with julien when he sneaks down there but we almost got caught when Julian tried bringing home a very loud raven, if he wasn't already immortal I would've killed him, I told him not to bring that raven home. Today Julian is off at the seas since he's the god of the raging seas, if you ever see a storm a brewing and ships sinking well that'll be julien, he doesn't like it all to much but he's also practicing to be a doctor so it's win win for him unless the mortals die then he feels bad and gets extremely insecure. But it's life, mortals die everyday and there's nothing we can do about it. When I thought today was just going to be another boring day something intriguing happened. The future of the mortal girl I adore so much had changed, it's always been the same thing every day but today it was different.. In her future she ends up with a man who I can't quite see the face of.. and it breaks my heart to see her end up with someone other than myself, the thing is when I first became the god of fortune I never felt these type of feelings before till the day she was brought into my life, when I first read her fortune, she started off as just an ordinary girl till her 18th birthday and that's when things changed, my heart started feeling all warm and fuzzy and I didn't know why, but when she was 24 everything had changed, I saw myself thinking about her more and more, I even grew excited when it came to looking into her past, present, even her future, her life was just as normal as any other mortals life but I didn't care, she made me feel different.. I was hoping that someday I would end up with her but I knew it was too good to be true. I was about to go to the goddess of love to find out who this mysterious man was but I didn't because she's someone who can't keep a secret, so I decided to do the one thing I can do; Go down to the mortal realm once again after so long, and find out who this mystery man is and prevent him from meeting her.

(Y/N)'s P.O.V

Today was like any other day, I woke up, ate breakfast, fed my pet snake, and walked to work, sometimes I would even help my neighbors out when they need it but if they don't then I just continue on my way to work, I work in the local antique shop in the middle of town it tends to get very popular especially if people are looking for something rare, I basically have everything here from antique typewriters to antique vases. If no one can afford anything here I also accept trades but they must be antique. When I opened up shop I flipped the close sign to open and waited for my first customer of the day to stroll right in, however today has been a very slow day especially when another antique shop opened up at the end of the street, most of my usual customers stopped coming by and started doing their antique shopping there, it did break my heart to see them go but I didn't let it get to me! An hour had passed and still no customers, I was about to give up until I heard the chime of the bell go off, I hurried over to the front to see a man with golden tan skin, white fluffy hair, and deep violet eyes walk right in, I was glad that someone had entered because I was starting to get bored and a bit lonely.. Maybe next time I'll bring my snake to work with me. When the man turned to face me our eyes locked for a brief second before quickly looking away. I couldn't help but blush at the sight of him, he was beautiful, I quickly shook out of my trance as I saw he was trying to talk to me.

"Slow day huh?" The strange man started walking around before picking up a very old necklace.

"You can say that again.. You're the only person to have walked in here today.. I've actually been quite lonely.." I sighed as I walked behind the counter of the shop. "I've never seen you around here before, so are you new to town?"

I looked over to the man who turned away from me as he continued to browse, but I swore I saw the tip of his ears turn red. "N-no! I'm not new, I've just ever been to this side of town before! Yeah. I was told by a... by a friend about your shop, so I decided to check it out for myself and they were right, you have everything here!" The man looked as if everything was all new to him.

"I'm glad your friend was able to recommend my shop, It used to be more packed but when that new shop opened up at the end of the street people stopped coming by and started going there instead, it hurts but I guess it's just life." I started playing with the loose sting that was hanging from my shirt sleeve. The man must've seen through me and knew I was sad because he had just offered to help me.

"What if I help you?" When I looked up at him I had a confused yet shocked expression.

"How? I don't even know you? And you don't even know me.. So why would you want to help me?" I could see his cheeks turn a bright red before he cleared his throat.

"W-well you see.. I-i'm a fortune teller! Yes that right I can tell your fortune for you, I specialize in past,present,and future readings tho, but I can tell your future and predict that your shop will be booming again!" I stared at him for a long while beginning to get a little suspicious but I also could use all the help I could get, I sighed before finally agreeing. "Fine, then read my fortune all mighty fortune teller.

I saw his stressed demeter calm down just the slightest before he pulled out a deck of cards from his bag, he started shuffling them before splitting them into 3 decks. "Ok pick a deck, then pick 3 cards from that deck." I did as told before setting the 3 cards I chose onto the table face down. He took a deep breath before flipping the first card up right. When he flipped it over I saw it was the sun. "The sun represents your past, it reflects happiness and contentment, vitality, self-confidence and success. Which just means you had a good childhood and faced your struggles head on which soon lead you to success." I stared at the card for a brief moment before I kindly asked him to continue. When he flipped over the second hard I saw it was the moon card. I was kinda shocked to have gotten the sun and the moon back to back but I was curious of what it meant. "The moon? What is it saying?" When I spoke out he frowned, probably not happy with the answer the card had given him.

"The moon represents your present day, it says a situation or person in your life is not what it appears to be and you need to trust what your instincts are telling you in order to see past this illusion.. T-this card is always spouting nonsense.. L-lets move on to the future shall we!" That's odd.. He got all weird after reading that card... Something is going on and I'm not sure if I like it..

"Sure... Let's move on then." I watched as he flipped over the final card.

"The lovers... This represents your future.. It's saying Remember the value of connection and communication. '' A new partnership may soon be in your future." I couldn't help but blush knowing what the card meant, one day I'll finally find love.. However when I looked back at the strange man I saw that he was glaring at the card, I was extremely confused but didn't bother to ask why.

"Ok let me get this straight, my past was great, I did have some struggles but I soon succeeded, now in my present someone or something isn't who they seem to be, and in the future i'll find love and be with my soul mate?" I raised my brow at him as I watched him fiddle with the cards in his hand.

"Yup that's basically the gist of it.." I watched as he looked all around the room except my face till his eyes landed on an old clock which hasn't worked in ages, and I think he knew that as well. "W-well will you look at the time! I-i gotta get going! I'm a very busy man! W-well by!" I was about to prevent him from leaving but as I reached out for him he was already out the door, but when I went to chase after him he was nowhere to be found as if he just vanished.. He was a very very strange man.. As I walked back inside the shop I had just realized I didn't get his name. I slapped my palm against my face as I groaned in frustration. Maybe I'll get his name next time, but there was something wrong with that guy.. If I ever see him again I'm going to find out!

Asra's P.O.V

As soon as I got back to my place in the godly realm my heart couldn't stop pounding, it felt like it was going to leap right out of my chest.. Those cards were way more specific than usual.. Maybe they were just trying to help me out.. I sighed before sliding down to the floor using my godly powers to bring up an image of the mortal... She was even more beautiful up close.. But when I ended up flipping over the moon card I nearly fainted.. It's as if they want to get me caught! I can't tell her that I'm a god! Ugh! If she finds out then I'm over! She'll probably freak out and run or get mad and never wish to see me again.. Why do mortal relationships have to be so complicated! As I was lost in my thoughts I didn't hear Julian walk in till he splashed me some water. "Gah! Julian! What was that for?!" I stood up ringing the water out of my now wet clothes.

Julian couldn't help but chuckle before flickering his wrist removing the water from my clothing. "Sorry dude but you were so lost in your thoughts that you didn't hear me ask you a question."

"Oh..." I looked down at the floor before looking back up. "What is it that you want to ask me?"

"It wasn't anything much but I was just wondering if you're alright? You look a bit freaked, which is new." I watched as he walked circles around me looking at me all over.

"It's nothing... Except for the fact that I went to the mortal realm and spoke to that mortal girl.." I tried so hard not to look him in the eyes, but it just made it really hard because I knew he was giving me a concerned look.

"Asra! You did what.. Asra.. I thought you said you weren't going to chase after her any more.. Your fantasy of being with that mortal won't come true.." I looked down at the floor as I felt a few tears trickle down my cheek.

"I know.. These emotions are all still new to me... First I'm feeling happy, then love... and now jealousy... I don't know what to do! I just want to be with her! Why can't gods and mortals be together!" I looked right into Julians eyes as more tears flowed down my cheeks. I swore I saw his heart break..

"Asra.. You know the rules... but like I always say... Rules are meant to be broken." I looked at him with a shocked expression.

"Does this mean you'll help me?!" He let out a small chuckle before wiping the tears from my eyes.

"I don't like seeing my friend's heart broken like this, so I'll try my best even if it means causing a tsunami." I glared at him before scolding him.

"No tsunamis! I want her to love me, I don't want her dead!" I watched him throw his hands up in defense.

"Ok, ok! No tsunamis but I can cause a storm that can cause her to stay indoors till you confess to her." I gave him a warm smile.

"Thanks Julian.. I don't know what I would do without you." I looked up at him to see him thinking knowing exactly what he's going to say.

"Probably single and alone while your mortal girlfriend loves someone else." I punched him in the arm causing him to laugh.

"She's not my girlfriend!" Julian had a smirk on his face.

"Yet~" I couldn't help but blush before nodding at his comment.

"Y-yeah.. Yet.." My face was now a deep red. "But before you cause the storm I want her to get to know me more.. So wait a month or a year.." He gave me a thumbs up.

"You got it!" After mine and Julians conversation we went on with our godly duties.

~1 Year Later~

(still Asra's P.O.V)

One year had just passed and (Y/N) and I had been getting along greatly. Luckily she no longer suspected me of anything but I will have to tell her that I'm a god sooner or later.. I'll probably tell her tonight.. Because tonight is the night Julian causes a huge storm.. My plan is to pretend to be wandering the storm with no place to go and to have just wandered towards her place. I've been to her place a few times for tea or just for dinner. We shared a lot of stories together from it being of her life or of what I do for a living, well we all know that I couldn't tell her the truth so I told her I was someone who just traveled around giving tarot readings for a living which is half true.. I was out walking to (Y/N)'s home when on cue a huge storm started along with heavy rain and lighting. I was now completely soaked, as I was walking down the streets I watched as the mortals hurried to bring in anything valuable inside. I finally managed to make it to (Y/N)'s front door before the storm got too bad, with one swift knock I waited till I heard her angelic voice call out. "Coming! Oh who could be out in this storm.. Shouldn't they be inside.." As that last sentence left her mouth, the door swung wide open only to reveal a very shocked (Y/N). "Asra! What are you doing out in this storm! Come on! Get inside before you catch a cold." Before I could say anything she grabbed me by the wrist tugging me inside where it's safe and draw, not to mention warm. "Asra, didn't you see the storm why are you here in the rain and cold.. Shouldn't you be home?" I frowned before shaking my head.

"I-i'm sorry for intruding.. My home was just too far for me to reach.. I was in town when the storm hit and y-you were the closest and only person that would actually give me shelter during a storm like this.." I looked down at my soaked clothes.

"Well of course I'll give you shelter! We've known each other for a year now, but of all my time living here I've never seen a storm this bad before.. It's almost godly.." I nearly choked as she said that.

"G-godly?! I-i don't know what you mean by that.. It's just a storm.. They happen.." I tried my hardest to act as natural as I can.

"Hmm.. Asra you alright bud? You're acting stranger than usual.. Are you sick?! I can go and run you a warm bath if you like?" I couldn't help but blush at the thought of that before shaking it out of my head.

"N-no! That's alright you don't have to.. I'm not sick at all, I'm perfectly fine!" I laughed nervously scratching the back of my neck which just made her glare at me even more, causing me to shrink back into my soaking wet clothes.

"Asra.. What's wrong.. I can't help you if you don't tell me what's going on.." I looked her in the eyes before frowning myself.

"Fine.. I'll tell you but let's do it in the living area.." She nodded her head as she followed me towards her living room, before taking a seat on the couch, I decided to remain standing, it was for the best after all.. I took a deep breath.. "(Y/N).. I-i've been feeling weird ever since I first met you.. My heart would pound so fast that it feels like it'll leap out of my chest.. I feel different when I'm around you.. I want to do things I've never thought of before.. But all these feelings.. I don't know if I'll ever get the chance to tell you how I truly feel about you.."

When I looked into her (E/C) eyes I swore her pupils were in the shape of hearts, but that also could've just been my imagination.. "Asra... Do you... Do you love me?.." As she said that my heart started pounding faster than it had before I took the courage to nod my head up then down. I was hesitant at first but I managed..

"Y-yes.." I looked down at the floor scared that her silence was her way of rejecting my feelings for her.. That was until I felt her hand move to my chin, I hadn't realized that she had stood up but she was now standing in front of me face to face, her cheeks had a tint of red, I was about to speak but was silenced by her soft lips pressing against my own, my eyes grew wide before I slowly closed my eyes kissing back, however the kiss didn't last long because I had realized that she still didn't know the truth.. I broke apart from the kiss before looking away.. "W-we can't.. I-i'm sorry.." I could see her heart shatter.

"But Asra.. I feel the same about you.. I love you.." I couldn't help but bite my lip.

"I-i know.. But It's against the rules.." I couldn't help but tear up at the thought of breaking her heart.

"Rules? What do you mean asra? I'm confused.." When my eyes met hers once more I could tell she's close to tears, I put my hand to her cheek watching as she leaned into my palm.

"I'm not quite human.. It's forbidden because.. because..... because i'm a god! I'm the god of fortune.. I was scared to tell you... But a friend of mine convinced me that rules are meant to be broken.." As I finished I couldn't help but let out a choked sob, I was now crying, I collapsed to my knees as I continued to cry. All there was, was silence, she's scared and afraid I knew it.. I should've just stayed in the godly realm.. I would rather be heartbroken than to have her be sad and hurt.. Well that's what I thought at least until she spoke out in such a soothing voice.

"Asra.. Look at me.." I didn't want to face her but I knew I had to eventually.. I slowly lifted my head to face her, her beautiful (E/C) eyes were full of sadness but they weren't because I couldn't be with her... They were for me, she felt bad that I couldn't live a normal life to where I could be with the one I choose.. I couldn't start a family with them, It's all I ever wanted.. Was to be with her, but maybe it was just all a dream, and I'll wake up any second now in my room, in the godly realm.. But that kiss.. I-it felt so real.. "Asra.. I can't believe you're a god.. But then again this could be a joke.. but by the look in your eyes I can tell, it's all true.. Asra I do love you and I don't wish to see you hurt and broken like this.." She slowly knelt down so she was now at eye level with me..

"I-i'm sorry I didn't tell you.. I was scared.. I love you I truly do.. But the rules state gods can't be with mortals.." The more I think about it the more I feel like breaking down.

"Hm..." I looked at her as I saw her think for a bit. "I love you, and you love me.. Your friend did say rules are meant to be broken... So why not take the risk and be with me, what's the worst that could happen.." I wiped my tears away from my eyes as I sat up.

"I could lose my title as god and become mortal.." Hm... Now that I think about it, I guess that does sound great other than bad but I don't know.. If I lose my title then Julian will be left without a friend. I was lost in thought before she lifted my chin up so I was facing her once again.

"If you become mortal.. Then we'll be together.. But knowing you, your friend is also probably a god.. So, let's be sneaky and have a secret relationship because I've been feeling weird around you as well.. My heart beats for you.. I love you.. I guess the cards were right after all" She couldn't help but laugh at our first encounter. "You were hiding in an illusion of passing yourself as mortal, and I found love in my near future." She gently placed a gentle kiss on the top of my head. She remembered.. I couldn't help but let a small smile spread to my lips especially when she's willing to have a relationship with me even though I'm a god.. S-she doesn't care.. All she cares about is her love for me.. I thought it over, which didn't take that long, I'm going to listen to Julian and to my love. Rules are meant to be broken.. As the storm started to clear we shared one last passionate kiss before heading back home. My heart was full and so was my love for her, I can't wait for our next encounter.. Or should I say our next date.

#the arcana #the arcana headcanons #asra alzanar #the arcana stories #the arcana oneshots #asra x mc #god asra #god asra x reader #rules are meant to be broken

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mayonnaisetoffees · 2 years

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DtA Daily Day 7

(Day 1 - Beginning) (Day 4 - Previous)

[...] dropping into the other [chair] with a sigh, staring up at the exposed beams of the ceiling, aware of a sense of growing panic.

One of the things I think I almost forget when distracted by Cas's grief is how terrifying this is for Dean. He's seen this world once before, seen this version of himself send his friends to die before being killed, seen Lucifer wearing Sam, and seen the end. This, for Dean, was the worst case scenario. And in his world, they avoided it. Now he's back and this world is still ending and he doesn't have Sam. He has Cas who is alive but neither the version he knew before TMWWBK nor Godstiel.

All Dean wants is to go home. But when has anything in Supernatural ever let you go home.

One thing holds true for any version of Castiel, angel, proto-god, or junkie; they might lie for a lot of reasons, but at least in their own minds, it was never to cause him actual, physical harm.

If “I want [...]to have told the Host they could fuck themselves before I Fell.” is the DtA!Cas thesis statement, this is the statement for Cas in general.

[...] if there was a way to get him back, he would have found a way to do it. If for no other reason than the fact he seems to resent his existence, which Dean will admit, in retrospect, he’s given him pretty good reason to do.

This, again, I find interesting because Dean sees it as Cas resenting him and acknowledging he's given him reason to. But what we, the reader, know that Cas doesn't resent him, he resents whoever sent him here after winning his own Apocalypse, forcing him to experience the slow death of a world that lost.

Leaning over to turn it up, the perky voice of the happiest radio host in history talks about traffic and rationing before moving smoothly onto the fallout from the destruction of Houston.

So I don't know how many of you ever watched Torchwood: Children of Earth but I've watched it a grand total of twice in my life. Once when it first came out, once about eight years later when I bought the Torchwood boxset and was like I'm sure it can't have been as horrifying as I remember. Spoiler alert: it was. The part I always found most horrifying, that still gives me nightmares to this day, was politicians calmly discussing which children to sacrifice. The content was bad enough, but the thing that still gets me was the calmness.

This is the vibe that Dean gives to me when he talks about it being between radio ads. It's an almost innocuous segment, Dean describes it as positive. But the perky host talking about traffic and then rationing and the destruction of Houston is absolutely fantastic world building that gives me chills.

It shows that enough time has passed that this isn't news anymore. Rationing due to the apocalypse comes right after regular old traffic. Dean goes on to think:

You don’t go to bombing unless you’re pretty damn desperate, but turning major metropolises into rubble isn’t something anyone sane announces between car commercials and ads for Axe deodorant. [... Maybe you don't try to hide it] because you’re distracted by hiding that it’s happened before, and possibly in plural.

It's that sense of even at the end of it all, the government is still trying to hide what they're doing, the understanding that what they're doing needs to be hidden. It's terrifying.

Getting to his feet, he pretends it’s his agreement with Castiel and not his own uneasiness that drives him from Dean Winchester’s abandoned cabin come dusk and has nothing to do with the fact that this cabin never feels like anything other than a prison or an open grave for a man no one else knows is dead.

Again, I've nothing in particular to say here just that last line is raw as fuck.

Checking the sigils on his arm—and God, he wishes he could find out what the hell they are, he could have used something like this on a hunt

I always forget there's this air of mystery around the sigils right at the start.

he has yet to identify anything like a working heater, or for that matter, where the hell the generators are that are powering the cabins.

Nice but of groundwork for Chitaqua Home Improvement Week and also foreshadowing for like... Five lines time.

he crosses toward the kitchen and whatever Castiel left him in the way of food

This is such a nothing statement but it's the START of something, okay?

So that generator question is kind of urgent now. “Someone tried to fix the generators again. It seems they failed.” […] “More like broke them.” Dean scans the room a little frantically; he’s not ready to deal with Castiel’s social life right now. “What happened?” “My understanding of the results of the industrial revolution are more theoretical than you seem to believe,” Castiel answers with a faint snort. “I have no idea.”

Same, Cas. Also the best way he could have answered that, I love Cas's over the top references when he's being bitchy.

“It’s not working.” Tilting his head back, he gives the ceiling a betrayed look. “It’s supposed to make it easier, and it’s not working. It always did before. At least for a little while.” Dean does the math. “What did you take?” “I’m not sure,” he says after a while. “Not enough, it seems.”

Cas's usual methods aren't working and again it's because this is the hardest thing he's ever had to live through. He rebelled, he Fell, he lived through the apocalypse, he has lost people already but every time, every time, he had Dean there with him.

[...] It’s been a week since Castiel took him out of the city, a week since Lucifer had won the war. It’s been a week, seven days, since Castiel looked for the last time at the body of Dean Winchester and watched him burn. Yeah, he thinks blankly, nothing works when it’s something like that, not for long. “I wasn’t supposed to survive him,” Castiel says, voice stripped of expression. “That was never part of the deal.” […] It’s been a week since Dean Winchester died, and in this whole camp, the two of them are the only ones that know. And in this entire goddamn camp going about its daily routine, the one person with the most right to do it can’t even grieve.

For Dean, he has had three years of dealing with his first trip here, with knowing that this version of Dean sent his friends to their deaths and then was killed himself. It's easy to understand why he would forget it's so recent for Cas.

But for Cas it's been a week, the last three days of which he's had to run Chitaqua and convince everyone that Dean is alive and well. Which means he hasn't been able to grieve, not properly. There's been none of the ritual around death that can grant closure, none of the support or solidarity grieving together brings. He is alone in this and the only other person who even knows it happened is a poor imitation of the man he lost for whom it happened years ago.

Cas is completely alone in a scenario in which he never meant to find himself. He was prepared to die for Dean that day, and it was only a cruel twist of fate that meant that he survived.

I'm gonna jump back a bit here to talk about Habituation Rules.

“Why do you want me to come back here every night?” “Habitation rules are ridiculous.” Castiel’s eyes flicker to the door, […] he pushes to his feet and goes to the doorway, seeing dark smudges too regular to be shadows. Running his fingers over the wood, he finds exactly what he was expecting all along and wasn’t able to locate no matter how closely he looked: the unmistakable curve of a sigil, the carving so shallow it would be invisible to the naked eye, following the grain of the wood almost flawlessly. There’s only the faintest tackiness, almost gone; the blood was refreshed an hour ago, tops. He patiently traces the line of sigils to the floor where it meets the salt line before checking the other side, then the length of the top, trying to get the shape of them with his fingers so he can draw them later. Enochian, he thinks vaguely, and at least a couple of them match the ones on his arm.

So again, we're getting reference to these sigils and the ways in which they can be added to surroundings without being noticeable. Both this and the habitation rules in general, will come up again later.

or maybe a man staring down at the lifeless corpse of his brother stretched out on a cot in front of him. There’s more than one way for a world to end, and Dean knows them all, every goddamn one.

Dean may have almost forgotten how fresh this is for Cas, but he does understand what it's like to lose the person who is your whole world - of course he does, that was what set this entire series of events in motion. If Sam hadn't died, Dean wouldn't have made a deal, and Cas wouldn't have saved him from hell.

“Cas—” Dean licks his lips and tries again. “Me being here, is it gonna make it harder?” After a moment, he sees his head move, an abbreviated shake. “Nothing can make it harder.”

First time I read this (well listened to it, I listened to the podfic first time around and a few times since) I had to put my phone down and walk away.

“I can’t get drunk enough to forget,” Castiel whispers, eyes fixed on some distant point; from his expression, wherever it is, it’s not any better than here. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t spend the night trying.” […]“Okay. Where’s the generator?” Cas swallows. “Dean—” “I can’t get drunk enough to forget, not anymore,” Dean says roughly. “Sometimes I can pretend, though. I’ll show you how it works. Now where’s the goddamn generator?” Cas blinks at him, another gut-punch of shocked blue eyes and searing grief, but maybe relief, too, there and gone in a moment. “I’ll show you.”

I love the almost call and response of this bit. They both know they can't run from the pain, but trying to is all they have. Dean needs to do something and Cas needs to forget. One thing at a time, they are going to get the generator running, and then they're going to see what they can do about themselves.

(Day 10)

#dta #dta daily #dta day 7 #map of the world #tw grief

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alpona · 1 year

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Geats episode 10 liveblog:

After a break, we begin with a fresh new game, new arc. The 'scheme' arc.

Before I begin watching,

-I'm excited to see the new arc, we'll have some new characters, and given the format, new opening lineup as well.

Haven't been paying attention to episode names, but they're quite cool! We finished the encounter arc, and now the scheme arc starts!

-Will keiwa return?

Now, let's begin:

- Tsumuri is doing the recap this time... And recording on her tablet? Wow, nice idea you took from Keiwa! Lol

- DGP staff as family, yup. By the way... How far does his wish of 'DGP staff' extend, we're only going to see Tsumuri and concierge -san for now, but does other unseen members, plus punkjack gets technically included......?

- yes we do have new disposable characters in opening lineup. But wait... Michinaga is there, but Neon isn't? Hmmm?

- since everyone involved here retains their memory, Ace's wish basically turned out as playing pretend family with DGP staff like a lonely kid.... Sigh..

- but here's the true objective, it'll give Ace more opportunity to closely investigate DGP huhuhu!

- And here's our first important question of the day! How are players selected? I've been curious too.

-Heh, careful examination. Their criterias are sus as well.

If defeating Jamato monsters were their main goal, they'd select people who at least have some fighting experience, not be super random like grandpa's and people with zero fighting ability....

- Ace-kun's previous wishes!! And woah woah woah, his first wish was to participate in every game?

So this way Ace is garunteed to have chances even if he loses a game. Also gets to prevent anyone's catastrophic wish being granted, also *getting lost in 105th theory and questions*

- his other wish of living without having to work is THE wishful life though 😄.

- And he definitely didn't just win 4 times only, right? We're only seeing a few cards here.

- Pfff.. Ace on super troll mode 🤣 Ace-sama's autograph! (a Tumblr user literally predicted this scene!)

However, we do get another confirmation from this funny scene - previous wishes indeed gets carried over to the next reset world.

- The little moment of Ace falling behind a few steps and quickly catching upto Tsumuri, a slight crack to his cool demeanor, I'm loving such small details in this show.

- Keiwa-kun!!! Okay, I can stop being suspicious about disqualified rider's fate, they did went back to normal lives... For now at least.

- Keiwa's personality may seem totally different, but you know what, it's actually not that strange. He's on his depressed state, he is kinda emotionally vulnerable and Can lose hope, as we've seen in episode 1. Makes sense. Unless there's more to it of course.

- But picking sushi over tanuki soba?? 😵‍💫 Now that's a plot twist I did not see coming!!

- oh right, punkjack. Going in to rig the game huh.

- Haha, now there's a wild character who can even annoy Ace!

- But is Tsumuri aware of the punkjack invasion?

- Ace is absolutely dumbfounded for once! Woah, his reaction is SO keiwa-like, I mistook this voice as keiwa's in the preview!

- disposable character's talk time. I almost gave Azuma-kun's reaction too.

- Aha, important question no 2! Is this punkjack the same as before? That little expression of yours spoke 'yes', even if you deny so hard, Hareruya Win-san.

The name's also something, if it's even his actual name.

- Oh hello timefire-san, I mean Neon's father. And we have another new character join the suspicious list.

- But they can add more players after a round? okay.

- oh wow, the new girl's already dead, way too disposable. I didn't even get her name or rider name. She's *reads back* letter? Ok whatever, sayonara.

- Neon's cool entrance! And Beat buckle debut! Not gonna pretend to see this for the first time, I've been seeing pics beat Nago, and Na-go's default form is very funky, so cool, love the design.

Well, now we have 2 guitar yeilding players. Just drop everything and give us a concert now! 😁

- however, Beat buckle's debut was so... Unceremonious, off screen, compared to some other main buckles....hmm

- Neon dropping everyone's honorifics, lol

- *gasp* Ace actually spelt out his goal!!! But of course, wrapped it with his signature 'can you believe me'.

- and the parallel between Ace and Neon, one trying to run away, another trying to find his mother... Ah... the feels

*Staring off into the sunset just like the characters*

- We already knew why you put punkjack in the game, game master-san. What should I even call this guy...

This is the 'scheme' of the scheme arc?

Is it because you're evil or you think Ace is a threat?

.... These review-ish things are becoming longer and longer each week, and I'm actually skipping many things. Geats is just that Good and intriguing!!

#kamen rider geats #kr geats #geats liveblog #geats episode 10 #neon kurama #ukiyo ace

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returntothefallencity · 2 months

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March 3rd, 2024. 5:33pm

Devastating. Again. I forgot how deep the mourning goes after a catastrophic failure.

I felt so sure we'd do it this time, after so much prep, having so many willing recruits giving their all. I thought we had learned from our past mistakes. I'm trying to remind myself that every mission has the same potential to fail. It doesn't stop the hurt though. Losing just one recruit is too many, but to lose them all. I have a lot of people to ask for forgiveness.

Right from the beginning recruits started dropping and right from the beginning we were fighting him. The whole time we were in the infection zone the Lab was building another monster. They did create a new monarch: the Zombie King. They must have been working on him for a while. Unless they knew what was going to happen during this operation and expedited his creation with that air drop of mutagen. I thought I had covered my tracks, but maybe they knew my plan. We did screw up that first night with the cameras. To them, this was just more bodies to feed to the horde. And to us this was a devastating punishment.

The trek to the old Aerosolizer was tough, but we did well with all the manpower and firepower we had. The plan of attack we implemented was hunkering down in a main group while runner groups gathered what was needed to rebuild. It was easier than we thought to build it, but every runner group got picked off eventually. Then the main group fell one by one. In the end, we got the Aerosolizer half built before the main group crumbled and the cure destabilized.

Ultimately, we were caught by surprise by what the Zombie King was capable of. Where the Zombie Queen only communicated with the zeds, the King could resurrect them on a mass scale. With both the Medic and King using their mutations, we were overwhelmed with waves of them. In all the Lab trials I know of, I'd never seen this. The mutations seem to be getting more powerful, but I hope this is the peak of what we'll ever see from the Lab.

The survivor's guilt is heavy. I've been analyzing all the missions over and over in hopes that maybe this will never happen again. But we were the ones who were able to be evacuated, and we couldn't save anyone else. Neither of us spoke the entire way to the safehouse. Neither of us have left our beds much since. I could tell myself that continuing the fight against the Lab falls on us, it's our responsibility and we wouldn't wish that on anyone else. But that will never mean those that perished weren't important enough to live.

With this failure weighing on us, we'll have to go into hiding. The Lab will be after us. I had hoped a victory would put an end to them. We'd win support after curing the last infected zone and then expose the Lab's evils. But instead we led 71 people to their deaths. We'll probably have more than just the Lab looking for us.

There was one victory though, albeit a personal one. I did start my opening brief to the recruits with a declaration that I was there on a rescue mission. Rescue mission successful. My best friend is safe once again, but there are wholly different dangers to deal with now. I said she'd no longer have to run, which ended up being not true. But at least we can run together now. At least she's no longer alone.

[Operation: Return to the Fallen City Dates: 3/1 - 3/3/2024 Status: Mission Failure Deceased: 71 Alive: 2 End Operation]

#hvz #humansvszombies #HvZatFSU

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thejustmaiden · 3 years

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So out of nowhere I was tagged and quoted by a SR shipper for a blog of mine posted in August of last year. Talk about throwback but, hey, gotta appreciate that level of snooping. 😉

Back in the day I actually used to encourage discourse amongst Inuyasha fans- both shippers and antis alike- but I've since realized that it's a lost cause. But for you, @feministmetalgreymon , I'll grant this exception. Just 'cause it's been a while so why the hell not. haha

I want to assure you, however, that nothing you say will ever convince me that Sesshomaru and Rin are meant to be together romantically or that the story intended it so. Nor will you find any validation here. You can ship them for all I care, but please for all that is good and holy while I have your attention try- I mean really try- to understand why it is so many of us Inuyasha fans are so against this pairing in the first place (newsflash: it's not about ship wars), and why we believe a romance between the two of them is completely and utterly out of character.

For those of you interested in reading this, the blog of mine in question that the above shipper mentions in their counter-argument is here for reference. It's titled "Jaken = Rin's Dad?" I'm going to try and keep this short, but I'm also making no such promises. After all, I'm not exactly known for my brevity. haha Now let's get crackin'!

Like you, feministmetalgreymon, did for your recent blog here where you took screenshots of mine to address certain parts, I will be doing the same and dissecting yours accordingly.

[Snippet 1]

I worked with kids for many years as a teacher, and many people in my family have too or still do. Two of them happen to be just over 5 feet which is quite short for the average adult woman living here. I've also worked alongside many a women of short stature, and never did I hear any of them complaining of issues with their students having difficulty differentiating them from their own peers just because they were short as well. I'm sorry but that's just ridiculous. Kids are quite smart and pick up on a lot more than you seem to give them credit for. Height is not the only characteristic they look at to determine who's an adult and who's not, and it's foolish to suggest otherwise. So unless you're a babysitter who's still in their teens and/or who has very childlike features or behavior then I'm afraid what you're getting at is total hogwash. This is just another example of how you shippers offer nothing of real substance to your reasoning, it's only ever cherry-picking or strawmanning from you guys. Stop deflecting from the real issues please, because this certainly isn't one and only winds up being a complete waste of time for all parties involved.

[Snippet 2]

Okay, calm down now. I wasn't insinuating that relationships between parents and children can't change over time in terms of how they get along. Of course that's possible, as all families experience their fair share of estrangement and abuse. What I was speaking about was in reference to the overall dynamic between the two. Because a bad mother or father can still be viewed as a parental figure to their child even if say they're not in said child's life anymore. Since Sesshomaru and Rin share a healthy bond- and just a friendly reminder that in my blog I even said that he doesn't have to necessarily be labeled her father but that a romantic relationship later would still be inappropriate- I didn't deem it necessary to address what you brought up. Plus, it kinda, umm, misses the point?? Please, let's stay on topic. And it's not captured in the screenshot, but stop acting like there isn't a small part of them that idolizes their parents at some point during childhood. Just like you mention later on how it's normal for kids to have innocent crushes on adults that they eventually grow out of? Well, guess what, the same concept applies here. Kids eventually learn that their parents are far from perfect and make mistakes too. Rin is so damn young in the OG series though that we never even get to see her reach that maturity level.

[Snippet 3]

LOL! Alright, okay, so the "unbreakable bond" bit you're mentioning was actually me quoting you sessrinners. Did you not catch that? I literally spelled it out. *sigh* The whole point I was making is that shippers like yourself make hypocritical and contradictory statements all.the.goddamn.time. One moment you guys claim that Sesshomaru and Rin were essentially strangers and meant very little to each other, only to say in the same breath a few seconds later that they were destined to be together and their bond is like no other. I agree, their bond is special, but why must that mean they're going to fall in love?

That is the root of the matter here. Too many animes/mangas have romanticized this older adult man & young girl growing up falling in love trope that it's become way too normalized and widely accepted across the world- and yes, in some cultures more than others. Sadly, you lack the awareness to recognize how this all works. You know how we know that? When we see that you shippers are so desensitized to sexualized images of girls in the media that you share posts like this one below which *subtly* imply a future romance although one half of that pairing is still just a child in the pic and then try and pass it off as cute. That's like super fucking problematic and it scares me that you can't see that (or deny you do). 🤢

After all that's said and done, Sesshomaru leaving Rin in the village with Kaede is to me the strongest indicator more than pretty much anything else he's done for Rin that proves he is her adoptive father. It's so funny to me how you somehow see the exact opposite though. 🤔 What I think is happening is that you got yourself on some squeaky clean ass shipper goggles fresh out of your little echo chamber. Because I hate to tell you, but what you're fantasizing is what you want to see and not what's actually there on screen or was written into the story. I'm strictly talking about Inuyasha and the manga of course. [For the TL; DR version skip to the last paragraph.]

Parents looking after their kids is what parents are supposed to do. A good parent will do anything to keep their child safe and ensure they are cared for, so what he did for her by leaving her there was in her best interests clearly. Besides, as a babysitter, you more than most people should understand that parents aren't always able to be there for their kids so sometimes others gotta step in to help. Haven't you heard of the saying, "it takes a village to raise a child?" Which in Rin's case is literally true! 😂 Sometimes kids are even sent off to stay with grandparents and that's who raises them instead. Or maybe they have to temporarily live with an aunt or uncle because their single parent's job requires they work out of town 4-5 days of the week so they're hardly home. But that doesn't mean that the parents care or love their kids any less, and it's foolish to assume that Sesshomaru must have thought very little of Rin simply due to the fact that he made the decision to leave her in the village. Come on, y'all are acting like he abandoned her there!!

It's just given the circumstances Sesshomaru finally came to learn that Rin traveling with him was no longer safe. I also like to think it's because he wished for her to live a more normal life and to learn how to fully trust humans again. Plus, continuing to travel with him as young as she was would have proven dangerous and unwise. Now for you to know all this and still manage to turn his past actions towards her while she was just a child into a romantic gesture is what boggles my mind. Regardless of how you look at it, from my perspective or your own, Sesshomaru is in the wrong. Either he's a father figure who impregnates his daughter at the young age of approximately 14. OR he's this man she used to travel with who maybe isn't a father to her but who nonetheless basically rapes her since kids her age can't consent to sex with an adult. Idk about you but it sounds to me like nobody here wins with either scenario we're given. In other words, you should be just as mad as we are. If only one side didn't choose to forsake their morals they know we both have in common for the sake of a ship. Welp. 🤷‍♀️

I agree, incest is disgusting but that's not the only problem we have with this pairing. A romantic bond forming between Sesshomaru and Rin would also constitute as grooming.

You realize that over the years he visited her in the village that he brought her gifts too and essentially watched her grow up right before his very eyes, right? I mean, I know you do, but I really shouldn't have to explain further why pursuing a romantic/sexual relationship with each other is plain and simple wrong. And before you say it's not because he didn't have any malintent, please understand that considering their history and power dynamic up to then that yes this is still considered grooming even if Rin supposedly "wanted it" or "made the first move." Whether you consider him her father or not, as the adult who took on a role resembling that of a caretaker in her early life- a critical developmental time for a child- Sesshomaru is obligated to turn down any advances by Rin and most definitely should not initiate any himself. As the first close adult figure she's had in her life since her parents died, it's unfathomable to imagine how Sesshomaru could go through with taking advantage of this young girl who was under his care and supervision since they met. To think he could be capable of betraying that trust sickens me to the core.

This. Now THIS is how a parent/guardian or a similar adult caretaker (babysitter, teacher, etc.) talks to a child. And, in turn, this is how some young children talk to adults. You'd be insane and delusional to deny it! We see it in our everyday lives, do we not? From where else do you think our stories draw most of their inspiration? Yes, obviously these fictional universes have aspects of fantasy that don't exist in the real world, but so how then do you suppose we're able to relate to them? The reason for that being is because these stories are written by people for people, so naturally there are going to be real life aspects embedded throughout. Sure, a little escapism doesn't hurt as we don't need to take everything so seriously, but ultimately we all need to recognize that the messages in the stories we tell matter. Most stories possess a combination of both light and dark themes, but when it specifically comes to the latter we gotta be careful with how we tackle this in children's media since kids are far more impressionable.

So if at the center of a story we have two of the main protagonists whose mom is basically their same age and to top it off she knew their dad when she was just a girl and who just so happened to help raise her, wouldn't you say that's beyond fucked up or at the very least so fucking weird? Like why would we think it's even remotely okay for our children to watch this garbage?? Really think about it. Try and be objective for once and think about how it would sound explaining this storyline to an outsider who's never watched IY or HNY. Well, antis have tried this before many times and we always get the same reaction: Ewww!

Like I said earlier, if you wanna ship it then fine, but 1) please stop seeking our approval or trying to change our minds - your ship wish came true didn't it, so why do you need us to validate it? 2) even though it's not canon, respect that we don't support this sequel portraying pedophilia in a positive light. It's harmful af to not only allow but glorify the continuation of sexualized images of young girls everywhere. And I shouldn't have to say this, but just because this trope is popular as you say does not make it right. Lolicon themes in the media have been an issue forever and it needs to stop. Yes, even some people in Japan or "the East" would agree. Shocker!

We're pissed off and rightfully so because Yashahime's TV rating is 14, not to mention it airs at the prime time kids in Japan watch TV after getting home from school. That's Towa and Setsuna's age, true, but if Rin being the mom when she's like only a year older than them (please don't argue w/ me about the math- antis have so far been right every time with it) is straight-up disgusting and not something we should be supporting or endorsing. Rin's a whole ass child!! Please don't start with the "but times were different then so her having kids at 15 is acceptable" argument either, because we've already debunked that and every other single excuse you guys throw at us. Besides, how or why would you expect young viewers to know these historical "facts" anyway, especially if as you suggest fiction doesn't affect reality so what does it matter? Yet here we are, arguing over a fictional show in real life almost a year and a half into the "Sesshomaru fucks?" sequel being announced. My ass, your ass, hell all our asses fiction doesn't affect reality!

Look, I do apologize if the tone of this blog came off as snippy or condescending at times. I do not wish you any ill will, it's just I'm not really sure what you expected to get out of all this besides maybe getting on my nerves perhaps. haha A lot of you shippers have been desperately scrambling to interact with us, lurking in our tags, jumping onto our posts screaming canon and getting so defensive even though you sought us out first. We've been sticking to our tags, so how about you stay in your lane too. By the way since we're on the topic, have you seen Twitter or Reddit?! SR shippers there are the actual worst and many Inuyasha fans (not just antis) have complained of not feeling welcomed to engage in fandom spaces anymore. Shippers swarm them and scare them off simply because fans don't like your ship and refuse to accept it. It's pathetic, really. No one should ever be bullied or harassed just because they don't like something you might. We're all fans of Inuyasha, aren't we? So let's act like it. Yashahime on the other hand, you guys are welcome to that pungent heap of trash. Fans have a right to criticize it too, but if you like it then good for you, so keep on liking it and don't mind us.

I'm almost done, but real quick back to Jaken! Let's not forget about how the official Yashahime website- which came out after my blog, mind you- described Jaken. This translation isn't the best one available but it's the only version a fellow anti friend could track down. They do recall a better one done by a native Japanese speaker who was also an anti, and that member confirmed that Jaken is indeed called Rin's babysitter. So you see, I was right in my interpretation. In the original post I did compare Jaken to a brother, but after talking to others (some comments can be found under said post) I did acknowledge that he's more of a reluctant babysitter who's not related. And if he's not at least a brother to Rin, then he's definitely not her father.

At the end of the day, the creator Rumiko Takahashi has the final word. Which is guess what? Hogosha. 💖 Probably should've just started out with that and saved us all the trouble, huh? Good day/night to you.

Papamaru bids you adieu now. 🤞

#anti yashahime #anti sessrin #sesshomaru is rin's dad #papamaru #hogosha 💖#the sequel may not be canon but sunrise can still burn in hell

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amane-by-together · 3 years

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I do adore || Yashiro Nene

Yashiro Nene x Female! Reader

genre: fluff and shoujo ai (girls love)

summary: when yashiro gets tired for having unrequited love towards men starts to have romantic feelings for [name]

“When every little thing you do, I do adore.”

Yashiro had always been head over heels to tall and handsome guys. The senpai whom she liked for three years, spent herself learning how to cook, sew and gardening, ended up getting rejected and calling her a radish.

Teru Minamoto. The president of the student council, known for his good looks and a kind personality. Yashiro had woken up from her fantasies and knew that she didn't deserve him, but he'll be the person she'll look up to instead.

The cream haired girl was frustrated about her love life and wanting to get a boyfriend to make her fairytale come true. It's hard being a romantic, that's what you get from reading romance and fantasy novels.

That's where Yashiro dropped her wishes on having a boyfriend due to her having unrequited love and insecurities because of her legs, decided to focus more on studies and friends. Guess what? She failed to do so.

[name] [surname] was a new student, she transferred a month ago and immediately got along with everyone. [name] and Yashiro started to become friends and had a lot in common, making them even closer.

For whatever reason, [name] never failed to make Yashiro's heart skip a beat. “Yashiro-chan~!” [name] skipped over to her seat and grins sweetly. “Guess what~?”

“Yeah?” Yashiro asked, a little nervous on [name]'s closeness. “Do you need something?” she winced. [name] started to talk about what happened about her day as Yashiro listened on every word she says.

Voices from other classmates started to fade around her and Y/n's voice is the only thing Yashiro can hear. The cream haired girl watched her small movements such as tucking hair behind her ear and the way she smiles brighter than the moon.

Yashiro's heart started to pound inside her ribcage. Her cheeks suddenly warming at the longer she stared at [name] while her thoughts are racing. ‘I don't understand why [name]-chan isn't popular, I mean she's very pretty, kind and caring and...’

Her thoughts were interrupted by a small giggle from [name]'s lips. Yashiro could've fainted right there, her giggles are very endearing, oh how she wished she could make her laugh like that.

Yashiro had never felt this much romance from her previous crushes. Most of them came from pure admiration and looks, seems like [name] outshined all of them. Other than wanting to be like [name], she wanted to be with hers also.

“[name]-chan, what do you think about my legs, by the way?” Yashiro twiddled her fingers, her magenta eyes darting away from the pretty girl's direction. [name]'s expression turned soft, she tenderly wrapped her hands around Yashiro's. This made her heartbeat quicken and her whole face turned into a beautiful shade of vermillion. "Sorry for the sudden question though, I j-just wanted to k-know..."

"Your legs look fine to me, Yashiro-chan." [name] replied, reassuring her with the sweetest smile she could ever give to someone. “I think you are cute too...” she said.

“R-Really?” Yashiro lights up and beamed. [name] nodded sheepishly. The cream haired girl was swooning so hard, she felt like a leading lady in a kdrama with cherry blossoms all around. [name] went back to her seat, leaving Yashiro to fan her blushing face in between stutters. ‘[name]-chan, called me pretty...’

Its not everyday where someone calls you pretty, for Yashiro, its more like a one in a million moment and the compliment was from [name] herself. And Yashiro absolutely adores her for that.

Yashiro glances towards [name] across on where she was sitting. [name] was looking over to the window while her cheek is resting on top of her palm, admiring the falling cherry blossoms during spring. “I'm falling for you everyday...” she whispered under her breath with a pink color tinting her cheeks.

[name], a certain girl who is currently running around Yashiro's mind that night. The naivete couldn't stop thinking about her, she just got her first female crush. “[name]... why are you making me flustered...” she murmured against her pillows. Yashiro notices her hamster, Black Canyon, munching on a sunflower seed silently. “What should I do Black Canyon?”

Maybe she could write her feelings about [name] in her diary. Yashiro stood up and went over to her study desk to get her diary. She begins to write, wholeheartedly pouring out her love for [name].

“I want to hold her hand and whisk her away. I want her in my arms protectively. I wish we could be like feathers that softly fall for another. I want to feel your soft lips against mine. I wish you were mine...”

Yashiro sighed and slumped her shoulders with a flustered look on her face. She was too in love for [name] its driving her crazy. Who knew a girl who dreamed about a prince giving her a romantic fantasy dream would fall for a pretty and kind girl?

If only she was a guy, she blamed fate for being a girl who had fallen head over heels in love for [name]. Yet she feared a lot of things: What would [name] think about her sexuality and knew that she likes her? What if she starts to avoid her for it? It will be another rejection for Yashiro if that happened.

All Yashiro ever wanted, was to be together with [name]. The relationship where she can hold her hand, cuddling her in her arms, smothering kisses all over her face, she always wished to do that to [name].

Ring Ring!

Yashiro picked up the phone since it was her dear friend, Aoi, who was calling. She took a deep breath and answered. “Aoi...” she said.

“Good evening Nene-chan, I got bored and I decided to call you!” Aoi cheerfully said from the other line. Yashiro wanted to tell Aoi about her crush towards [name], yet she feared that Aoi is going to judge her for it. There's no way she could do that, right?

“Hey Aoi...” Yashiro held the phone near her ear, her hands slightly shaking because of nervousness. “There is something I want to tell you, please don't judge me for it...”

“You know you can tell me anything, Nene-chan.” Aoi assured her friend. Yashiro inhaled deeply, her cheeks warming up just by thinking about [name]. She was straight from the beginning yet she never saw it coming when she starts to fall for [name]. “So what is it you want to tell me?”

“There is someone I like...” Yashiro can feel herself getting hotter and hotter. ‘I never felt this gay towards someone, I swear...’

Aoi suddenly became excited and squealed slightly at her friend, she's a sucker for anything related to romance, she even fangirls in Yashiro's love life. “Was he an upperclassmen? Is he from another class or is he in our class?!”

Then, Yashiro finally told her. “Its from our class...” she paused to lick her lips and looked down on her feet, embarrassed that she's going to come out to Aoi. “And it's a her...”

“I have fallen...for [name]...” The cream haired girl admits. “And I really don't know how I came to love her, it's confusing me lately because I just really love her—”

“Kyaaa~!” Aoi squealed from the other line. Yashiro stopped from talking all of a sudden. “You're in love with [name]-chan? That's wonderful!”

“Y-You're okay with it?” Yashiro asked for confirmation, making sure that Aoi wasn't joking about it.

“Of course Nene-chan.” Aoi gleefully replies. “What do you like about [name]-chan?”

“She's very pretty Aoi...” Yashiro laid down on the bed and covered her eyes using the back of her arm. “Other than being pretty, she's kind, sweet and soft. There are times that I wished that she was my girlfriend but somehow I think it's impossible...”

“I don't even know if she likes girls...” Yashiro laughs bitterly. “Even if she does, she wouldn't like me back...”

Day by day, Yashiro's crush for [name] continued to grow. With her blushing and her heart racing whenever [name] comes around. She also seeks advice from Hanako on how to win [name]'s heart, he was weirded out on how Yashiro came from liking guys to girls but he shrugged it off and helped her.

Their first method was her sneaking flowers and letters inside [name]'s locker. Yashiro filled her letters with her adoration and love for [name], unbeknownst to herself that a certain someone sneaked behind her. “Yashiro-chan~!”

“Gyah!” Yashiro jolted up in surprise, turning around and saw that [name] was grinning sheepishly. The cream haired girl stopped all of a sudden, her heart started to race and her cheeks turning red. “[n-name]-chan?!”

“Ah, I didn't mean to startle you!” [name] stepped back and swatting her hands. Cute. Yashiro thought to herself, staring at her even more.

‘Nene, you're too in love with this cutie—I mean person!’ Yashiro yelled inside her mind. [name] tilted her head and smiled, giving her a slight wave before walking off. ‘What should I do?’

Should she confess to [name]? Would this affect their friendship after that? Yashiro lifted her head and looked at the cherry blossom tree across the window, at that moment she had her decision.

‘I'm going to confess to [name]!’

[name] was hiding behind the wall, clenching her chest as she sneaked glances from Yashiro who was talking to Aoi in a rushed manner. [name] smiled before leaving her hiding spot. “Aoi, what am I going to do?”

“Hmmm~” Aoi thinks for a moment as she pointed at the cherry blossom at the distance. “How about confessing to her under the cherry tree from outside?”

Yashiro blushed. Thinking about confessing to [name] was already nerve-wracking. The problem is the result of the confession, the answer lies whether she's going to be rejected or accepted. “Should I really do it, Aoi?”

“We won't know unless you try, Nene-chan.”

'Are you really going to confess again?' Yashiro's inner voice asks her. The second thoughts of hers kept echoing in her mind and then she blinked. All of the negative thoughts were gone. “I'll try!” Yashiro cheered and Aoi clapped her hands happily.

”You can do it Nene-chan!”

Yashiro finally made her decision, she's going to confess to [name] on the cherry tree outside their classroom. There's no turning back and she would rather do this than hiding her feelings forever.

“I can't tell [name]-chan to meet her by the cherry tree...” Yashiro teared up while shakily holding the love letter, she was too shy to ask her and [name] might take the hint that Yashiro was going to confess. “Oh well, there's no turning back now...” she tucked the letter inside [name]'s locker and ran off to the cherry blossom tree to wait for her.

[name] got out of the classroom minutes after Yashiro puts her letter. [name] went to her shoe locker to change her shoes, but when she opened the locker door, a letter fell out. ‘Hm? A letter?’ she raised the letter to her face and checked the sides. ‘I guess this is addressed to me...’

The [hair color] haired female puts the letter inside her bag. She quickly ran outside to the cherry blossom to see her admirer. [name] tilted her head in confusion to see Yashiro standing there. “Ah, Yashiro-san.” [name] scratched her cheek as she walked over to the cream haired girl. “I assume that you're the person whom I'm going to meet here, right?”

Yashiro saw [name]'s smile again, she can feel her apple cheeks burning again and her heart beating faster. “There's something I wanted to tell you, [name]-chan...” she said, her voice was slightly cracking.

A huge gust of wind blew over them, carrying the petals of the cherry blossom along with the sway of their hair. Yashiro clasps her hands together near her chest and shouted out her feelings. “I like you, [name]-chan!” Yashiro confessed with tears brimming out of her ruby eyes, betraying her straightness right there. “Please go out with me...”

[name] stood there speechless at Yashiro's confession, she assumed that the cream haired girl was attracted to prince-like males like Teru Minamoto. “B-But Yashiro-san, I'm just a normal girl.” [name] stuttered out. “I-I'm not like those prince charming that you always fantasize about!”

“So?” Yashiro asked in verge of tears. “Even if you're not those, I still like you despite of that!”

Yashiro couldn't handle this anymore and by the looks of it the confession wasn't running smoothly. Yashiro tried to runaway to hide her tears until [name] caught her hand. “Wait!” [name] yelled out.

[name] saw that Yashiro was crying after that confession. “Yashiro-san...” [name] gently holds her hand, preventing the cream haired girl from running away. “Don't go...” she croaked out.

“[name]...?” Yashiro stared at her, thinking why did [name] stop her from going. [name] teared up also, still holding Yashiro's hand with hers.

[name] mustered up a tearful smile and confessed also. “I have always liked you Yashiro-san...” she said.

Yashiro couldn't believe what [name] just said. Did she just say that she likes her too? [name] likes her back? Yashiro cried even more and smiled. “R-Really?”

“Mhmm.” [name] and Yashiro felt happy now that they both confessed that they liked each other. “It's true that I like you Yashiro-san, and I want to go out with you too.”

Yashiro immediately hugged [name] which the latter returned the affection. “I'm so glad.” Yashiro softly cried, the person she had a crush on is finally hers, it seemed impossible that [name] would like her back, but the supernaturals lingering around the school looked so real, then maybe anything is possible after all.

Yashiro and [name] pecked each others lips, pulling away with a smile now that they shared their kiss. “Nene-chan, wanna go on a date this Saturday?” [name] suggests.

“Of course.” Yashiro laced their fingers together as they walked back to their houses. This is one of the fantasies that Yashiro had dreamed of, being [name]'s girlfriend. There's nothing more she can ask for other than this realistic serenity she's feeling right now.

#jibaku shounen hanako kun #tbhk #fluff #yashiro nene #nene yashiro #tbhk yashiro #yashiro nene x reader #tbhk nene #Yashiro #jshk #jshk yashiro #yashiro x reader #nene yashiro x reader #nene x reader

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askdracomalfoyofficial · 3 years

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𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮

Note: The paragraphs that are in italic are the thoughts he is thinking —

TW: Mild thoughts of killing her. Swearing. Possession. Nothing to serious, but thought I would put this before-hand. Enjoy!

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It all started after I had called you a Mudblood. You see, my father taught me all about blood-status, pure-bloods being the highest form of witch or wizard. Magic comes easy to us, our veins are filled with it. We have control over it. Then theres you, someone who has Muggle parents, making you just that. How you had a outburst of magic is something I'm currently questioning. I can certainly see you being someone who's Drabble around with it, study it in your books.

But my father warned me about people like you. Warned me that your blood is dirty, and anyone whom surrounds themselves around you, or even do much as become friends with you is a blood-traitor.

Anyone under us, we don't care for.

Yet, there was something about you that had always piqued my interest somehow, someway or another. I can't tell you what it is, Granger. But, Merlin… I don't know how you are our Brightest Witch of Her Age became such a thing for a Muggle-born. You and your swatty ways, always raising your bloody hand in class every two, three seconds. Basically… dissecting the answers or things the Professors would teach us. God, how I wished I could cut your hands off, or cast a silencing charm on you so your mouth stops moving, you annoying wrench.

The witch with unruly messy mop on her head. Tame your fucking mane, Granger. Get some tips from Pansy for all I care, maybe then… you'd learn something. But, you're not someone who cares about appearances are you? You're the first girl I know to not. Doesn't surprise me.

He breathes out a sigh.

I bloody fucking hate you. You have no idea. I want to wrap my hands around your throat, and watch the life leave your eyes but not as much as I want to run my fingers through your hair, grab a fistful and yank your head back just to crash my lips onto yours. To make you feel the hate I have for you, to make your lips swollen. To have my tongue vigorously dance with yours, a duel to win. I want to press my lips to your neck, find your pulse and feel it beat against my lips then suck your breath from you. Suffocate in your aroma, to smell your hair and taste the salt of your skin against my tongue.

“For instance… I smell,” she leans her face more over the steam. “Freshly mown grass, and new parchment, and–“ Her words trailed off as she started to realize who it was.

Thinking about it is repulsive, thinking about you, specifically is repulsive. I’m thinking about all this, while you're smelling your Amortentia, and I bet what you're smelling is that daft bimbo, Weaselby.

Ah, the lovely Amortentia. The most powerful love potion that there is. It has a smell for each and every individual according to what attracts them.

Draco adjusts his stance, hands finding a home in the pocket of his trousers. Eyes on her, more so the back of her head, watching while she smells the steam that swirls endlessly up towards her face, and the way her hair grows with the humidity. In a way, it matches the way his had been tousled at his fringe. It looks as if someone had ran their fingers through his own hair and ruffled it up. Hers just looks like straight bed head, yet not taken care of.

His brow raised, looking through his lashes at her.

Weaselby smells like mown grass, well that's quite bloody disgusting. And, you're telling me that's what attracts you?

A scoff slipped out from somewhere in the room, and for a moment he panicked because he knew it came from him the moment Blaise lifted his eyes to look at him with a brow of his own raised. But, Draco's eyes were on the back of her head, which in that moment he regretted because she turned around and automatically met his. Jaw muscles worked as it snapped shut, clenching his teeth together.

Don't look at me like that. Who do you think you are?

Professor Slughorn dismissed the class, he hurried to get his things situated and left the room without so much as a second glance back at his fellow classmates; including her. But he could feel the way that her eyes bored into his back, setting his skin ablaze.

Eventually, Blaise caught up to him. “What was all that back there, mate?”

“What? What do you mean was all that?” He stopped in his tracks, and lifted his eyes to meet Blaise’s but grew uncomfortable and looked away, ah, the stone wall was helping particularly well in this moment.

“Why did you act that way after Granger smelled her Amortenia?”

Merlin! He wasn't going to let this up. Fucking always so observant.

“Because what she smelled was ridiculous.”

“No, what is it really? You can't possibly think I'm that stupid, Draco.” He persisted.

Draco’s eyes gravitated back to him. Jaw tight. “What would you like me to say, Blaise? Is there a specific thing you're expecting me to answer with? Because whatever you're trying to get out of me, isn't there. So, I suggest that you stop while you're ahead.” Was what he left the conversation with.

Blaise, if I told you anything, you'd think that I’ve gone bloody mental, shit, I'm beginning to wonder myself if I did.

All through the years I’ve been watching Hermione Granger, bullying her and her friends because I get amusement out of the looks on their faces. How I know that I piss them off, and I'm good at it. There was once a part of me who loved to watch her cry, to bathe in those tears that fell down her cheeks, those very cheeks I want to grab in my hand and attack her jaw with my lips.

Draco shook his head as if he were trying to dismiss the thoughts, dismiss the way he was feeling and thinking as they weren't quite appropriate.

This year was so utterly fucked. I just want it to be over.

He made his way through the corridors, retreating from Blaise and dipping around the corner. He needed some down time, perhaps the library would do some good. Settle down with a book, in a far corner sounded lovely.

An hour gone by, and he'd been so enveloped in multiple books because he couldn't just decide on one and he needed to distract his mind from the interaction with Blaise, and Hermione interfering his thoughts.

But low and behold, she came into the library. Of course! The know-it-all loved to read just as much as he did.

Oh, you got to be fucking kidding me.

Draco rolled his eyes, clenched his jaw tight and pretended to read but every so often his gaze would lift to where she was. She was huffing loudly, even two exasperated sighs left her mouth. His teeth gritted and the muscle in his jaw worked.

After a couple of moments, perhaps five minutes gone by of her continuing with her loud outbursts of breathing, huffs and sighs he had enough of it all. Draco slammed the book shut, picking up the others and went to return them to their slots. When he was done, he approached her. Shouldering the frame of one of the bookshelves.

“Do you need to be so loud? This is a library for a reason.” His voice was cold, like a cool breeze brushing through the space between them. By the looks of it, he could tell that when he spoke that he had startled her.

She turned around mid-way while pulling out a book. Her chocolate-colored eyes lifted to meet his with a glare. Her head tilted to the side, and a retort was just waiting to leave her mouth. Draco had noticed this when he seen her lips twitch.

“Do you wish for me to apologize to you? Because,” she scoffed, crossing her arms with the book over her chest and under one arm. “You won't be getting it.”

“Who said anything about you apologizing?” His brow raised. “It's the fact that you are in a library, being loud with just your breath.”

Hermione looked around them. “Seems to me like we're the only ones in here, Malfoy. So —” she put the book back and moved down the shelf more, opposite of where he was standing. “I don't really see a problem here, you're just always bothered unless it's you doing something someone doesn't like.” She retorted, rather calmly.

How are you always able to handle your composure when around me. Yes — keep going down the aisle, pretty soon you'll be stuck in that corner.

Draco’s jaw snapped, his throat clicked. He hadn't really observed the room when he came in, but she was right about it being empty and the only ones in there being them. What a situation to be in.

“And you breathing loudly happens to be something that I don't like. I wouldn't be standing here right now if otherwise.” A hand slipped from across his chest, as his index finger lifted from the light fist he held, raising it like he were thinking before taking a step closer, slowly. “I am always bothered by you. Your presence is insufferable. Anywhere I go, I always have to see your face, I'm repulsed by it.”

It's true, I am always bothered by you. You are insufferable, but I am sure I could put you into your place; if you'd let me. I may be repulsed by your face, but I can't help but also like looking at it, at those lips —

She laughed manically, like what he said was the most hilarious thing she'd ever heard, or perhaps she had seen right through him. Hermione stopped what she was doing with the books, what book was she trying to find anyways? Her body shifted, feet angled towards him and arms remained crossed over her chest.

“You're the only one who thinks these things, and quite frankly they do not bother me.”

Man, you are bloody stubborn — not as much as I am.

He stepped closer, a hand coming up to grip onto the edge of the shelf. His own height towering over her own, blocking out the library light from her face. They were now sharing each other's exhaled breathes, and he knew she could feel the way his ghosted along her face. She didn't at all seem bothered by his presence now crowding her, backed into the corner of a bookshelf. He was looming over her.

“They don't bother you?” He asked and his tone dripped sarcasm. She shifted uncomfortably. “Do tell me, what does bother you then?”

“Why would that be something you're curious about? Since when did you care about what bothers me or not?”

Draco smirks, his head turning to the side while his eyes fell to the door of the library. Tongue grazing the bottom of his upper teeth. “You're right,” he turned his head back, glaring down through his lashes. “Why would I care? I don't care for someone of the liking of you.”

With that — he leaned down towards her more, for a moment he looked as though he were going to kiss her. But it was just to give a look of intimidation before his weight pressed into the hand that gripped the shelf to push himself off. Hands finding their way back into his trouser pockets.

I fucking hate you. I fucking hate you so much and you already know that don't you, Granger? Because I make it known, it's all over my face whenever you look at me, whenever we run into each-other. I hate you, yet I want to fucking kiss you, I want to do these things to do you that I, when I was younger couldn't see myself doing. Let alone have never done with a witch before besides Pansy, she always knew how to keep my best interests in mind.

I want to have my hands in your hair, tangled in my fingers and watch as your curled locks fall through. I want my hand around your throat possessively, let my thumb graze along your jaw and down the front of your throat like I'm thirsty for you and just want a little taste.

I want to have your clothes pooled at your feet while my eyes roam your naked canvas, I want to take in every scar, beauty mark, freckle. I want to do it all.

I want to trace the pads of my fingers down your spine, to your tailbone and trail them around to your hips.

I want to do so much to you — I want to possess you.

But then I'm reminded just by looking at you that you're a Muggle witch, and I fucking hate you, you're repulsive and insufferable. A know-it-all swat, who just can't keep her fucking mouth shut.

I'm conflicted, my stomach is in knots and this'll be the one thing that takes me to my very grave.

#personal #writers #dramione #dramionestan #dramione fanfic #oneshot #draco malfoy #Hermione granger #harry potter universe #Dramione fandom #my work #I hope you lovely Dramione shippers enjoy #possessive Draco #hateful Draco #toxic Draco #etc etc etc

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dukeofonions · 3 years

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Sensing a pattern thanks to the critical fans' asks... I'm a professional producer who's attempted on numerous occasions (unsuccessfully) to secure Thomas for a part in a Broadway-bound musical. TL;DR: How he and his team -- not just friends, but "pros" -- "run their railroad" confuses the hell out of us, and is probably the biggest obstacle to his getting anywhere besides YouTube. Frankly, we now wonder if this is by design and not just typical lack of experience winning the race, as it were...

(Sorry it took so long to respond work has been killing me the past few days.)

Longer Version (1/?): We've been working on this musical for just over a decade, and after we discovered Thomas's long-form content and the singles he's released, we thought he was a good fit for it. Without going into detail, the show's always been kind of a long shot, for many reasons, but we (still) think it'd be a great showcase for his brand of talent. So we decided to approach him and to gauge his interest, since he'd discussed Broadway dreams before. And there, our troubles began...

(2/?) So, five years ago, we approached Thomas through his then-management, Reboot the People, a company that managed a *lot* of content creators back then. (Their remains still exist on Twitter @RTPfamily.) They may have been a little out of their depth when they heard our pitch, and wisely looped in his agent at the time, Ty Flynn at UTA, from whom we heard... nothing. Okay, maybe it wasn't his thing; we had other projects to pursue and we moved on but... we still kept an eye on his content.

(4/?) When we returned to the project a couple years later, Thomas was still a favorite for the part for which we had him in mind, and building a much bigger audience than before, so we decided to reach out again. The business fawsterdog email address, as I'm sure fans have discovered by now, is useless. No one there ever got back to us. More than that, when we tried to learn who was managing him now (at times pleading on Twitter and during streams for info), we kept hitting dead ends.

(5/?) We finally managed to obtain a lead when we watched the "NO ADDED SUGAR for a MONTH!" video, and someone described as Thomas's manager actually appeared on camera, Matt Hogen, the president of Direct Artist Management. Further Googling revealed Matt had apparently been his manager as far back as 2013, way earlier than we'd been directed to Reboot The People for business inquiries. To say this runaround was confusing as hell, *even for show business*, is the understatement to end them all!!!

(6/6) At that point, after all that confusion, we just gave up!! If we have to chase someone's representation to the ends of the earth, only to find out there was one person we should have been talking to the whole time, it's probably more convoluted behind the scenes, and we don't need that extra stress in our lives. Watching the recent storms unfold, and wondering how true to life the "Putting Others First" video is, we can only assume he likes the *idea* of career more than really having one...

(I lied, 7/7) Bottom line: he presents a picture of unreliability and a lack of professionalism both to his fans and to industry people, and -- assuming there's *any* autobiographical truth to Sanders Sides content -- it may be because he's deliberately not taking this seriously. If losing out on big opportunities is the price he pays for keeping his mental health and well being in check, that's fine. But it's not how you succeed in this business... in any business, really. I wish him the best...

Wow, that is a lot.

Well for starters (and I hope you don't take this the wrong way) I am the tiniest bit skeptical about this story being true. I mean I can definitely see it happening giving Thomas and the team's track record, but there are just a few things that make me hesitate.

For one thing I'm surprised that a professional producer found their way onto my blog (which I try to keep out of the open) and took the time to read through some asks then send an ask of their own. Not that it's impossible of course, because here you are. But you know anyone can claim to be anyone so I hope you don't mind my skepticism here.

And admittedly I'm not entirely sure how the producing world works along with agents, especially when it comes to getting someone cast for your show. I can't see Thomas turning an opportunity down like that unless he just wasn't interested or never knew about it.

Which, honestly, if you did try getting into contact with his agent and he was told about it and wasn't interested then ya know, the least they could do was tell you so you could start looking for someone else.

I did also find the Twitter account for Reboot The People and yeah, it's long since abandoned and I'm wondering how you even got directed there in the first place when he had a manager already (if I'm understanding the time line right)

I do kinda question the whole asking for answers in streams bit (since Thomas rarely if ever does public live streams and I don't think he did much back then the only streams he does consistently now are for patreons) and he never leaves them up anyway so it's not like I could go back and look through the chats (not that I would because I ain't got time for that) but again, it's not impossible for that to have happened. Just a tiny detail my brain got hooked on.

Even if I'm still somewhat doubtful about your story (again please don't take it the wrong way I just like to be sure before I 100% believe something) I do agree about Thomas and the team's lack of professionalism, just look at the Story Time Madlibs situation, and they continue to make decisions (especially within the patreon) that just continue to baffle me.

I mean at the end of the day no one knows what's going on behind the scenes. And as it stands Thomas has found enough success with YouTube where he's stable enough to make it his full time job and can go months or even a year without posting a video.

But he even brings this point up in one of his Sanders Sides videos that YouTube isn't a stable job, and you never know when everything can suddenly flip and before ya know it the job ain't as stable anymore, and at that point you've gotta have some kinda back up plan for if things go south.

Because eventually (and I've already seen it happening) people will just get bored without new content or just grow out of it and they'll move on. Even if they've got nothing against the creator, that's just what happens. Some will stick around but even then no one's bound to last forever. Especially when there's always new stuff to be found.

But hey, he's good where he's at for now so I guess one might as well enjoy it while they can. I would like to see him succeed in actually securing a bigger role (whether in a film, Broadway, or even a TV show) because I think he'd do really well and he has been contacted by Disney before to be in one of their shows so who knows?

#dukeofasks #long post #maybe its just a matter of time #but then again if no one can ever get ahold of the guy i can't see that happening any time soo #soon #is what i meant #i aint typing all that again im on mobile

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