#I desire the things that will destroy me in the end | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

two-white-butterflies · 2 days

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good riddance | daemon targaryen

Description: Daemon Targaryen meets a lowborn woman. He is forced to choose between duty and love.

Pairing: Daemon Targaryen/lowborn!reader

ANGST

"I desire the things which will destroy me in the end." - Sylvia Plath.

Winter came in a typical fashion - all the heat purged itself and was replaced with uncomfortable coldness. A small chuckle escapes your mouth understanding the bitter irony of the situation. It was a cold winter, the type of cold that would make you shiver and unease - the same could be said with your current detriment.

Your father, ever the gracious host decided to house rebels. Of course, not just any rebels but ones where the Rogue Prince wanted to settle a score with. "How long does he plan to keep them here?" your brother paced back in forth, his fear growing with every second.

"There are already whispers that Prince Daemon plans to visit every town - the guards have doubled since last week. Seven hells, what if someone sees us with those rebels? They'll wring our necks." he cursed underneath his breath. A small sigh escapes your mouth and you continued sewing the dress that you were working on.

As if your brother jinxed himself, the Rogue Prince came knocking. You could see him from the window, long blonde locks and those peculiar purple eyes. "We're going to die." Kirdan mumbled, carefully watching his father open the door with a smile on his face.

The both of you exchange a knowing glance, slowly marching down the stairs to eavesdrop on the conversation. "Good morrow, Ser." the Prince met your eyes. He welcomed himself inside your home. "Good morrow, my prince. To what may I owe your presence?" your father did not falter nor stutter.

Daemon smiles at him, a charming smile - you almost expected him to be kind. If it weren't for the rumors that surrounded him. "Me and my men are here to ask you about your visitors, the insurgence is what they call themselves." Daemon's posture shifted quickly.

His shoulders were straight now - an aura of command permeating around him. "My visitors? I suppose that you are my only visitors." your father smiled, and your brother's grip on your shoulder tightens. "We're looking for the rebel brothers. There were rumors that they resided in your estate." Daemon argued.

You were sure that there was no use in lying now. Your father might as well kneel on the floor and begin begging the Prince for forgiveness. "The rebel brothers?" your father repeated the name. "Frode and Harald Stone." Daemon named them.

The moment those names exited the Rogue Prince's mouth a sudden commotion happened outside. A man began running away from the estate, barefoot and wearing nothing other than his sleepwear. "Catch him, now!" Daemon commanded and the rest of the goldcloaks began chasing after Frode.

"My prince," your father now began. He is momentarily speechless by that glare in Daemon's eyes. "- what will you do to him?" your father inquired. Daemon's grip on the Dark Sister tightens.

The men began dragging Frode back into the foyer, blood dripping down the rebel's mouth. Prince Daemon's attention now twirled towards you. His gaze softens, and the facade begins. "I apologize for the commotion, and I shall make amends when I return." he breaths.

He grabs the rebel by his collar, and begins dragging him outside.

He will return?

"We should be thankful that he did not sought to punish us." Kirdan breathes a sigh of relief, leading the both of you down to the base floor. "What did he say, papa?" your eyes narrowed.

Ser Groleo evades your gaze.

"He will return - for supper. I suppose." the man groans.

"We should prepare a feast. In gratitude of not arresting you." Kirdan immediately retorted. "I'll leave the both of you to arrange that." your father smiled bitterly. You and your brother exchange a stare again.

The table was arranged in a neat fashion. All of your best cutleries and porcelain ware were all in view. The best meats and exotic fruits were there too - it was a feast for a king, and the Prince didn't even look impressed.

"I apologize once more for the commotion that me and my men have caused. It was protocol to ensure peace in our realm." he apologized, staring at your face. Presumably soaking in your features. "Frode and Harald are honorable men - they fight for a good cause." your father laid out, in a tone that wasn't at all offending.

"Though their knowledge may be great - and their heart in the right place, what they do is treason. As the Commander of the Goldcloaks, it is my duty to rat out the poison that seeks to usurp my brother." Daemon responded, taking a sip of his dornish red.

Your father swirls the wine in his mouth.

"The government that they propose is akin to the Free Cities, whose wealth has expanded since they last welcomed freedom." your father discussed, and to your surprise, the Prince seemed to listen.

"Volantis can vote for its triarchs, only if the citizens are free but slavery is still rampant. If I may speak for myself, I'd rather be ruled by someone who was taught how to rule since their birth rather than vote for a man who wants to see himself as King." Prince Daemon decided to leave the conversation at that.

Kirdan smiles, nodding his head.

"I agree with the Prince, father." he voiced out. Unamused by the audacity that his father encompassed. Daemon turns his attention towards you - his eyes trailing back and forth between your eyes and your body. "You should apologize to my daughter for the commotion that happened earlier on." your father smiled.

"There is no need, my prince. The women of this household are not like mimosa pudicas, we do not rattle easily." you interrupted his sentence. Daemon is piqued in interest. "I have no doubt that you are fearless, brave and not easily rattled, which is why I must apolo-" he opens his mouth but you interrupt him the last moment.

"Then there is no need to apologize. If I am all that." you smiled falsely, seemingly teasing his limits or seeing if he'd rage at you. "Alright then, my lady." his responded in an equally teasing manner.

He could not stop thinking about you - ever since that dinner in your father's estate; your features have consumed his entire soul greedily. When he sleeps, all that he sees is you - when he opens his eyes all he longs to see is you. He couldn't believe that he was feeling this way - over a woman whose features are not all different from his Bronze Bitch.

He sits beside you, in one of the soirees that your town hosted. He couldn't stop staring at you, eyes glistening from the light of the fireplace. "Not even the Prince has a chance with Ser Groleo's demure daughter." he could hear the whispers from behind him.

The blood of the dragons flow down his veins, and you were his newest conquest. If you were hard to have - then he'd work well to have and hold you. "Do you rarely dance in these events?" the prince leaned on your body, whispering on your ear.

A smile finds itself on your face.

"I dance - all the time, my prince. But somehow, I do not feel like dancing tonight." you responded, implying that he may have something to do with that feeling. "Is it my fault?" he raised an eyebrow and you turn your head to look at him.

He was more beautiful up close.

His chiseled jaw - his unnatural beauty. It was new for you.

"I would not risk offending you, my prince." you looked away. "There is nothing that you can do to offend me." he enunciated, and the townsfolk began buzzing behind you. "- dance with me." he commanded, standing up and offering his hand.

You resist the urge to roll your eyes at him. "I see these men looking at you and I wish to compete for your attention." he explained. You exchange a knowing stare with your brother, Kirdan nods - encouraging you to dance with the prince.

The lively music begins, and he claps in beat of the song. "I've heard rumors about your lifestyle, about the women around you." you opened the conversation plainly. His eyes did soften, but it returned to its normal posture before you could realize any difference.

"Don't believe the rumors that you hear, they are naught but spittles encouraged by those who want to weaken my family." he gritted his teeth - you could not figure out if it was a sign of his lying. "I-I've heard nothing, but I see it in your eyes. Lust - you lust for everything that moves." you accuse him. He shakes his head.

The both of you continue dancing. "Do you see that or are you still basing from the rumors?" he raised an eyebrow, and a defeated sigh escapes your mouth. "My father told me long ago, that you can change a man's face but not his nature." you say.

"That may be the case for men with skinny arms, but not for us warriors. We can always be changed - we live hundreds of lives. You believe me to be wanton and lustful, but give me a chance and I shall prove otherwise." he promised, and the both of you stop dancing.

"I wish to wed you."

You have avoided him for three months now. Pretending to sleep when he'd visit your father's estate. Passing your chores to your brother, who was now forced to go to the market every Sunday. You prayed to the Seven Gods that he'd forget about you.

That he'd be piqued by another young lady from your town, but he never did. He never seemed to forget about you.

One time, he managed to see you.

"I'm leaving, my lady - but I will return in week's time." he promised. You forced yourself to smile. Your decision suddenly becoming clearer. He was still married to Lady Rhea Royce, and his brother would never approve of him marrying a lowborn woman.

The love you shared was still in its early stages but it could not be. He was a hero, a prince, a dragon and you were mere sheep. "I am still adamant in having your hand in marriage. Your father has already approved and if you feel the same way - send me a letter." he pressed a kiss on the back of your hand.

A kindness that he has never shown any woman before.

My Prince,

You are reading this now in Kingslanding. Possibly sitting on one of the thousands of chairs that you own, or lounging on your bed. One thing is for certain, however, the love I bare for you is stronger than the ocean waves, warmer than any dragonfire. Our love is true, exciting and forbidden. That is the reason I will decline your marriage proposal.

At a young age, I was taught the importance of duty and sacrifice. A lady of my stature must marry above my ranks, not a prince, but still above my ranks. A prince like you must marry someone the same level as him. Someone like Lady Rhea Royce.

You are a prince, a hero, a warrior - a father of the goldcloaks. You have your duty and I have mine, mayhaps in another life. One where we're living in the Free Cities, selling oranges and cinnamon. Mayhaps in that life we'd build a home.

Yours, Lady (Your Name) Groleo.

Prince Daemon wasn't sure on how to react.

A few days ago, he got a letter from you - rejecting his proposal of marriage and now he's received a letter from your father - stating your death from an unknown fever from Naath.

He could not think straight. He could not breathe.

He hasn't cried since his mother died, and he didn't expect himself to cry harder than he did with her. The Seven Gods were cruel and he spurned them will all his heart. "Kepus, think before you do anything else." Rhaenyra warned him, fearing that he'd hurt himself.

His cloudy eyes gazed up at her.

You looked like Rhaenyra in some lights.

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akiizayoi4869 · 12 hours

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The Southern Raiders

Been meaning to make my own post about this episode for a while now, so hear it is. The main thing I hear about this episode is that Aang didn't understand Katara's pain at all but Zuko did. The notion that a genocide survivor doesn't understand another genocide survivor is certainly one hell of a take, and it's very stupid. Are we really going to forget the air nomad genocide?

Aang lost EVERYTHING because of the war. And to make it worse? He feels guilty because he wasn't there to stop it from happening (even though he wouldn't be able to do much since he hadn't mastered the four elements yet) because he ran away from his duties as the avatar. When Aang finds Monk Gyatso's body in the Southern Air Temple episode, he's overcome with so much grief and anger that he triggers the avatar state:

Katara herself even compares what she's been through to what Aang was feeling in this moment by saying "I know how hard it is to lose the people you love! I went through the same thing when I lost my mom." Certainly sounds like two people who understand each other perfectly if you ask me. Also, in the Lost Adventures comics, we're shown that the Fire Nation used a dirty tactic to smoke out any other airbenders that might have escaped from the genocide.

We see how happy Aang was to learn that some airbenders may have survived, only to find out that it was all a lie to capture any remaining survivors. At the end of the comic he looks disappointed and crushed knowing that the possibility that air nomads fell for this trick and were killed as a result.

A lot of people take Katara saying "I knew you wouldn't understand" to Aang as her saying that he doesn't understand her pain, but if you actually look at the context? That's not what she's saying at all. What she means is that she knew that Aang wouldn't understand her need for VENGEANCE. For her desire to kill her mother's killer. Because Aang was taught that revenge isn't the answer. Even though Aang absolutely understands how she felt, something that he says himself:

In both of those moments he felt extreme anger and hatred, both strong negative feelings that would have caused him to lash out and do something that he would regret later on. Who stops him in both cases? Katara. She calms him down (and can I just say that I think it's really poetic that in this specific episode, Aang's words are what calms Katara down in the end, and is why she decided to spare Yohn Rha?) in his moments of rage, something that he's grateful for.

Another argument that I've seen is that Zuko understands her pain more than Aang because he also lost his mother. While I can see why people make this comparison, those are two entirely different situations. Ursa was banished because she protected Zuko from being killed when he was a child. Which means that she's still alive (as we later find out from those horrible comics). Kya, on the other hand, was KILLED because she protected Katara by saying that she was the waterbender that they were looking for. This happened in a genocidal raid by the Fire Nation. Safe to say that Zuko can never understand what that feels.

Also, it's pretty crazy to me how people can say that Aang was wrong in this episode, when Zuko HIMSELF says that Aang was actually right, and that what Katara needed in the end was revenge. Aang knows Katara a lot better than Zuko does, and he knows that killing the man who killed her mom would have absolutely destroyed Katara because of the kind of person she is. Just like Aang remembering how he killed all of those Fire Nation soldiers in the North Pole while he was in the avatar state and being controlled by his past lives and the ocean spirit caused him to have nightmares and be terrified of what the avatar state can do. Both of them are alike in that regard. The closest thing I can say that Zuko understands about Katara is her anger. Boy spent 3 seasons being angry so he definitely understands that. But other than that? He doesn't understand her, which is to be expected since he just joined them a few episodes ago, and spent a whole year chasing them and trying to capture Aang. So he's just started getting to really know everyone on a personal level. In conclusion, Aang did indeed understand Katara, and his words were exactly what she needed to hear.

#atla #aang #katara #zuko #atla meta #the southern raiders

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the-priestess-of-dawn · 12 hours

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Dying dying dying to know the full set of voicelines for Resplendent Grima but in the meantime I guess I will simply think about the two they previewed...

The thing is, you know, Grima seems to bluffing again, because uh... "It is only natural the weak serve as kindling for the strong. Muspell's ideology aligns with my own." Grima my beloved that is NOT your ideology.

I mean, at first glance it's pretty similar to what Halloween m!Grima says...

"Those without the will or power to resist can only be crushed underfoot. Such is the nature of the harvest." But... Grima is not saying that this is how things SHOULD be, only that this is how he views the world: as a horrible zero-sum game where those without power are crushed by those who have it.

Like, Muspell (the dragon) comes across as pretty straightforward and unironic in his callousness towards mortals and in his belief that it would be good for them all to just fight to the death. But no matter how many lines the various Grima alts have disparaging humans and talking about crushing them like worms, Grima also makes it clear that they do care. They care a lot and do not like that the world is the ruthless place they see it as.

We know Grima's REAL ideology, because legendary Grima presents it to us.

"One person's satisfaction means another must suffer. That is the truth of all worlds. But my power of destruction is the one true equalizer."

The world that Muspell desires is in fact the one that Grima would put to an end. Grima HATES Muspell's ideology. Saying it "aligns" with his is only true in the sense that Grima believes that that harsh and depressing way of life is inescapable reality.

(Though... "If you think there's someone out there capable of leading the world with such high-minded ideas of love and bonds... I'd love to meet them." is very interesting in the context of the Kingdom of Muspell because... well, Laegjarn and Laevatein are in many ways quite similar to Emmeryn and Chrom, don't you think? And they are the ones who would be guiding the nation. Muspell the dragon says he "knows nothing" of the kingdom because "mortals are of no consequence" so... if Grima were to visit, it would be the royals he would see.)

But it does make me wonder if Grima is perhaps... a little envious of Muspell's perspective? Because saying that "a kingdom that consumes all with roaring flame" is "an ideal to strive for" suggests that... he's not there yet himself. That he's looking at the callousness of Muspell and Surtr and thinking that he needs to care less and destroy more...

#grima studies #oh how i long to hear the rest of the voicelines and dive deep into their implications #can't believe i have to wait 2 weeks for resplendent grima hhhhhh how am i going to survive

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sorryforthebonyelbows · 2 years

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Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

Richard Siken, Crush (Little Beast)

George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones (A Song of Ice and Fire)

Margaret Atwood

Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games

Yves Olade, Bloodsport

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rainyyy-dayysss · 5 months

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"What if I told you I am incapable of tolerating my own heart ?" And when slyiva plath said " I desire things which will destroy me in the end ."

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brookheimer · 1 year

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hi! i started following you when i found your veep posts after i finished the show! I've been enjoying your posts discussing the shiv pregnancy plotline and i love all of your analysis posts! ❤️ i'm also REALLY hoping they don't pull an amy plotline on this, but i don't think they will. and this message below got really long, i'm sorry!

i think shiv's plotline is also a new way to look at femininity and womanhood through her eyes. she's considering if it will hold her back professionally, and also how people may see it as an excuse to treat her differently or fragile bc of it -at least that's how i took the fall scene and her conversation with tom on the steps. it does seem like she might be trying to prove something to her mom. she also mentions their mom the most (maybe the same/more than roman does?) and their conversation last season in italy wrecked me, personally.

i don't always agree with shiv, but at those exact points it's just like the aspect and pain of how she's seen or treated differently bc she's a woman is emphasized and it stabs right through me. like, i get it. i can truly understand what it feels like, and they portray that perspective perfectly.

awww oh my god hi !!! so glad to have another veep expat onboard here there are disconcertingly few of us. and yes i completely nd totally agree -- i'm - gulp - maybe looking forward to the pregnancy plotline possibly?? like, do i trust succession to do it well? not entirely. but do i trust it more than any other show currently airing that i can think of? ummm yeah probably. i am also a known Complicated Female Character Aficionado and while i have always liked shiv a lot, for some reason i never quite resonated with her the way i have some other female characters -- not entirely sure why that is, maybe it's the wealth, but maybe it's the lack of focus on her inner life in prev seasons. not that she isn't complicated or interesting, but that a lot of what we know about her really only relates to her relationships with men and how she exists around them -- which is obviously an incredibly huge aspect of her character and the lives of women generally (i fuckin know it is for me), but we haven't seen much of who she is outside of that. and even if she's literally nothing outside of that, i still want to see and explore it, because that's character depth too (she's so wrapped up in roy-style masculinity that she literally doesn't know who she is outside of it etc).

to me, the most interesting shiv scenes have largely been the ones she shares with other women -- with gerri, with her lawyer friend, with the woman she talked out of coming forward about cruises, with fucking caroline?? like, there are just a lot of Career Women Who Shove Down Femininity To Exist In Masculine Worlds in television these days, and i just want to see some more interiority with shiv, because i know it's there, we get hints of it and it plays across snook's face in every scene. i'm not saying i want to be explicitly told every aspect of her life -- god, no, that would be an entirely different show -- but that i want some like focus on her, not her relationship with tom or logan or kendall or roman but something with the purpose of developing her. more than any other character on the show i feel like i just know so little about her life before, beyond, outside of waystar royco. and if there isn't stuff beyond that, then i want to see that too! i just think there is so much that could be done with shiv that hasn't been quite covered already (it is an ensemble show, after all) and i'm really hoping this plotline will kind of fill that void. maybe it won't, maybe it'll suck, but maybe it will be the deep dive into shiv i've been waiting for. praying and praying and praying succession does for shiv what i so desperately wanted veep to do for amy brookheimer fr <3

#ok so fun fact i accidentally ended up writing out like five more paragraphs of thoughts bc this is literally my Pet Issue i'm sorry yall #i will probably be posting that next as a separate thing LOL #so sorry for not shutting up about thsi everyone. but to be fair. you are literally asking ME the girl notoriously obsessed with narratives #about female characters who struggle with being perceived as female forced to reconcile with their gender and their relationship with it #and the fact that maybe they do desire 'feminine' things (like family/love/etc aka basic aspects of human life we have inexplicably dubbed #feminine and turned into like Death Pits for 'strong women') esp when thru especially humiliatingly 'feminine' (again - perceived as fem-#inine bc pregnancy isn't just feminine blah blah blah but the roys and their ilk sure fucking see it as such) experiences like pregnancy #you're asking ME to not be insane about a shiv roy pregnancy plotline? that could literally heal the world from the disaster of veep s7???#be so for real rn #LOL #but yes thank u for the ask hard hard hard agree <3 that convo w caroline fucking destroyed me bro #asks #succession #shiv roy #succession spoilers #honeybunchcalum #casey shut the fuck up about shiv roy

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chelleisamazing · 8 months

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I decided to read RW&RB after watching the movie and loving it so much, because I just knew the book would be better and honestly, when I finished it I was in shambless.

#As a hopeless romantic- I love this stuff but also it destroys me #i know it's fiction but.. sigh.. knowing I will never get to experience a love like that breaks me #and lately- after some stuff that's happened this year- I've had this feeling in the pit of my stomach #makes me sick to think about the whole love/finding a partner in this life aspect of things #because nobody wants to love anymore #and I've realized I want to and im willing to put my all into the right person #but nobody wants to be right nowadays #it's all so superficial #whew! i know this is deep. honestly Im kinda depressed and idk what to do with myself lol #dont get me wrong though I did LOVE the book ♡#I was full on sobbing in several parts towards the end of it #dont know if it was for the characters or for my deep rooted desire for something like that...#im so tired and the day hasnt even started #but ive been tired of everything for months tbh...#maybe im being overly melancholic but that's just how I feel rn #might still be re-reading the book either way #yeah it broke me but it was also really fun to read #specially the emails- fuck ♡#stuff #firstprince

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hauntedscreams · 2 years

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Darling Ethan,

I have debated time and time again on what to put in this letter as it means our time together has come to an untimely end and what a time it was. I won’t go into most of my darker dealings here, just know that my death likely had something to do with one of them.

Instead, I will tell you how much I cherished our time together. I never expected to fall in love, but I did just that. You have a beautiful soul and seeing you smile in the mornings, messy hair and eyes fluttering, has become one of my favorite things in the entire world. You, my darling, are everything I always wanted and never thought I could have. You never judged me, always letting yourself see past all of the things I try so desperately to hide, winning over my heart in the process. I do think, if I were not to have died, I would have really liked to marry you. So, have a drink for me and the life we could have had if we had been given more time.

While I wish this letter was nothing more than a dying proclamation of my love for you, I regret that there is something I have to tell you. I have been debating on telling you the truth for awhile now and I’m not sure by the time you read this, I will have gotten around to it. It’s not that I didn’t want you to know, but that I was afraid when the truth came out I would lose you and I so desperately did not want that to happen.

The night your parents died, there was no car accident. It was staged from a death eater attack. Your parents death was a hit, not a mere accident as you have been led to believe. I know you may not believe me when I say this, but I swear to you I had nothing to do with it. I was not one of the ones tasked with that assignment, nor do I know who was, but it was a planned attack. I am so sorry and even more sorry that if this is the first time you are hearing this, I am not there to comfort you when you were ready.

I truly did love you Ethan with all of my blackened heart, never doubt that. You gave me hope and love when I never thought I was worthy of any. I treasure what we had more than you know and I hope you will as well.

With all of my heart and dreams,

Bellatrix

@auxrorkind

#;bellatrix { letters }#;bella&ethan { i desire the things that will destroy me in the end }

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ishades · 2 years

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#hmmm ignore me but I think I might as well talk about it here #less people likely to see it this way!#I always joke about how I want to get divorced but honestly?#not a joke. I don’t think marriage is for me #i don’t think anyone can ever sincerely love me I’ve loved a lot of different people over the years but never anyone who loved me back #like even in actual relationships it wasn’t love or even ‘like’#i think it’s a self destruction thing partially? maybe I don’t have the words to describe it because otherwise I’d be laid TOO bare #i want to relearn liking myself after a harsh breakup and reconstruct myself like I’m made of clay into something #unrecognizable and new but still touched by the hands that shaped me… but I get to be me #i want someone to look at me and know I’ve never been more beautiful than before things ended #and even if they want me again perhaps for the first time in ages… that they’ll know I slipped away and they’ll never have me again #i think this desire could even be born out of watching the women in my life irl drive themselves into the ground #and develop the worst self esteem issues and be suicidal while trapped in marriages where the spark isn’t there #maybe I want to divorce someone because they never will #maybe I would rather entertain thoughts of divorce in my future then think about the now #i feel very unwanted in every aspect of life but especially in the romance department #like… unfulfilled I guess? i think I take clear cut rejection better than anything else #and existing in limbo sort of has me trying to mentally run away #it DOESNT help that I feel like the other shoe is going to drop any minute #i feel like something big is coming bigger than god and maybe it’ll destroy me #so I’d rather think about having a massive romantic falling out with a stranger #than deal with anything irl that’s going on… especially when everything’s just so… immutable #i understand and empathize with anyone who is a child of divorce so I try to keep jokes to a minimum #but I wonder if divorce just means different things to different people?#anyways I want to become a divorced ILF without any kids tangled in the divorce #digital digital i wanna get digital

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wisebeth · 1 month

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One thing which genuinely bothers me is Annabeth's perception in the fandom. How she's seen as this cold, stoic, emotionless, reserved and intimidating girl. When in reality, she's a character full of love.

Annabeth, who immediately cried and felt attached to Cerberus after playing with him for a few minutes because she wouldn't get to play with him again.

Annabeth, whose deepest desire, which the Sirens lured her with, is saving Luke and having a good relationship with both her parents.

Annabeth, who believed in Luke's goodness, even after all the countless terrible things he did simply because she had faith in his humanity.

Annabeth, who cried in Percy's arms before entering the labyrinth and refused to reveal the last line of the prophecy because it said to lose a love worse than death and the idea of losing any of her friends is too painful, heartbreaking and worse than dying.

Annabeth, who kissed Percy before parting with him in St. Helens because if he's going to die, she at least wants him to die knowing she loved him.

Annabeth, who took a poisoned knife for Percy during the war because she'd rather die herself than let him die.

Annabeth, who convinced Luke to switch sides by reminding him of the promise of family he gave her. Which in turn, influenced Luke's decision to end himself to destroy Kronos. Hello, she saved the world with the power of love.

Annabeth, who spent months after months losing sleep and searching desperately for Percy when he went missing.

Annabeth, who kissed Percy to eternity in public at their reunion, not caring what anyone is going to say or think. An asteroid could've hit the earth, and she wouldn't have cared.

Annabeth, who told Percy “I love you” when falling in Tartarus because if she was going to die, she wanted them to be her last words.

Annabeth Chase is a sweetheart, who has always felt things deeply and she's so full of love. And I think it's time we let go of the “cold-hearted annabeth” headcanon because it's not true, that's not her.

#LISTEN #MY GIRL IS A SOFTIE AT HEART OKAY #her ‘cold exterior’ is just a facade she puts up to guard herself bc of everything she went through #percy jackson #pjo #pjo live adaptation #percy jackson and the olympians #hoo #heroes of olympus #mark of athena #house of hades #pjotv #pjo disney+#annabeth chase #percabeth

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blackwaxidol · 3 months

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I do not know what my problem is.

#So neurotic and overemotional it breaks down and turns me into a deeply disturbed apathetic husk.#I woke up with clear intentions but as the day progresses I get worse and more hopeless.#And I can no longer tell where one part begins or ends and so my intentions grow useless.#I cannot understand what will help me if I cannot even identify what makes up this ''me'' currently.#I don't know why I find it so difficult to live with myself recently.#I imagined I was above this.#What is wrong? Am I anxious? Insecure? Worried?#All of those things I suppose.#Whenever my only desire becomes ''make it stop'' I think I am letting pent up emotion burn a hole through my stomach.#I can fix this by slumping over and trying to find Ares. I did this yesterday when I was freaking out.#He bit me in the ribs but was otherwise attentive.#I don't know why in my mind his domain is a field of snow.#I suppose typing it out I can more easily grasp my feelings.#He will come back to me.#I started typing with capitalisation like this because I am deeply insecure and jealous of him.#That is something I will share before I forget to ever say it.#And I would want to say it at all because it feels crucial with the new problem I am having.#It festers a little less if I at least say it aloud.#I need to go to bed it is 4am.#My sleep schedule has been destroyed and I imagine that is part of what is making me so unwell now.

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shisurus · 2 months

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this panel from the world guide of falin being surrounded by other girls while laios is all alone kills me because. that's it. that's the key difference in their journeys.

as laios states himself, he left the village in order to create a home for him and falin elsewhere. a home that won't collapse due to others' hatred and fears like their old home did, a home where they are loved and accepted unconditionally. but as he soon found out, even before earning money, or having walls surrounding him and a roof above his head- what he so earnestly desired was to meet other people who will accept him for who he is as well. instead, he kept being tormented by those around him, shunned and sneered at. his loneliness quickly became all-consuming until he truly had nothing left except for the monsters in the pages of his book, but even that became a target of mockery and destroyed. that's why ever since the day he left the village, he never felt that he truly made the right choice. so he kept running away: unable to resist and unable to accpet.

and an ocean away from him there was his sister, who never managed to fully fit in herself. but unlike him, she met a person who became a home to her and learned what a true friendship was for the first time in her life. and laios clearly realizes that too when he finally sees falin and marcille together, he can tell his sister obtained the greatest treasure there is on her own- the exact thing he never managed to find anywhere himself, thus coming back empty-handed to the sister he left the village for.

but when you read this part of the manga, laios's focus is on falin's loneliness, not his own. he talks about how it hurts thinking about all those moments she had to spend alone because he wasn't there for her, so it almost sounds like he's the one who couldn't bear her suffering and therefore decided to not let her go again. but we do get a glimpse of their first meeting after that almost-decade long separation in the manga, and then we see more of that in the world guide and daydream hour- and it becomes abundantly clear that it was falin who was trying to protect and save him from this pit of loneliness and depression he was in.

so instead of just doing his best to atone for leaving her behind in the village and making sure she is never lonely again, it might also be that laios was desperately clinging to the one person in the world he felt that accepted and loved him unconditionally. those words he used to describe his motivation to stay by falin's side are the exact words she would've used as well; she couldn't bear leaving him behind in this state. in a sense, they were each other's shackles.

but then she did. she died for him and their friends, and ironically enough, it was by leaving him alone like this that he was finally able to stand on his own and put his full trust in others. to have the courage to reveal who he is and give others the opportunity to accept him after such a long time of hiding. it was a long journey, but his hiding finally came to an end when he faced the others after shedding his monster form. and i love that the person who was falin's "home" all those years away from laios, marcille, became just as meaningful to him during their time separated from falin- the first one to find him and show him that he isn't alone anymore. just as he did for her.

so at the end of the story when falin talks about all the places she would like to go, it's not just that she wants to pursue her own dreams- but that she actually feels free to do so and go anywhere she desires. and one of the main reasons for that is that her brother finally found new people he wants to be with; his own home.

#im listening to fmab sad soundtrack while writing this im gonna die actually #dungeon meshi #laios touden #falin touden

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gatun-gatunesco · 8 months

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...

#vent post #tw vent #i want to scream. to destroy something. to be in rage and feel anger. and somehow be strong #but no. all i can do is breakdown and cry. feeling only sadness and sorrow. being weak #just when i tought i could have a new start in were all was going to be fine. it ended worse than before #is like being lifted from a puddle just to be kicked down to the mud #they took 10k from me. how will i pay the rent? i am jobless. Delivery work is not close enough #if the school problem is fixed i might not be able to go. montly fee from them too #“you look thinner. are you okay?” my whole family said. uncles. aunts. cousins. my grandma. my parents. even my brother said the same #somehow i expected to be praised. for a long time they kept asking me to lose weight and makinh fun of my belly. why is bad now?#is because i do not eat? because i do not have enough food? but this is what they wanted! i am looking better right? thinner #i am not suffering hunger. i just do not feel the need anymore. is not that better? My ED is fixed. i am no longer a compulsive eater #is this not the way to love myself again? to feel better with my body? to feel like i can desired after all?#with that i can overcome my flaws. fixing the bad things about myself. be deserving of intimate and deep love #someone that will stay because i am very good. kind. compasive. always smiling. having confidence. being open minded #did not all of that comes by loving myself? is not all better this way? why are they saying the opposite now?#yet i know is not okay. that i need to eat more. i just can not. there is not enough food nor the energy to cook everyday #it does not matter anyway. i will probably need to come back with my parents (at least i can do that).#but how i am going to see them in the face and not feel like a failure. like a parasite once again. be more burden than i already am #all i do is making mistakes with how i am. i could not keep friendship because i still loved them. i still wanted for them to be only mine #and i know is bad. i know is not correct. i know i am not what they want not what they need. that i hurt them more than helping #and yet. i miss they company. they support. they hugs and cares. they smiles and laughs. I messed up everything. perhaps is better like this #they will not need to worry about me anymore and they will not see me struggle with my mistakes and life situations #they could be free from all this mess and fixing they own without me making it worse #i will be fine. somehow. only time will tell how i am going to end #i just want to be hugged in this uglyness and stop making mistakes so the pain can end

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wistrearchived · 9 months

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tag drop ☆

#[ 𝐢. ] ooc › the risk i took was calculated‚ but man am i bad at math.#[ 𝐢. ] answered › i would rather die of passion than boredom.#[ 𝐢. ] prompts › what knowledge continues to haunt this body?#[ 𝐢. ] keepsakes › the moon is beautiful‚ isn’t it?#[ 𝐢. ] edits › the winter sunrise‚ red on white‚ like blood upon the snow.#[ 𝐢𝐢. ] visage › the chaos witch.#[ 𝐢𝐢. ] study › you need to go to war to find material to sing.#[ 𝐢𝐢. ] aesthetic › chaos only thrives when it is loved by the wild and never the weak.#[ 𝐢𝐢. ] in character › i spoke destruction into the world and i could not take it back.#[ 𝐢𝐢. ] skillset › i desire the things that will destroy me in the end.#[ 𝐢𝐢. ] headcanon › i’ve no more kept my warmth than blood upon the snow.#[ 𝐢𝐢. ] crack › i love the kind of woman that will actually just kill me!#[ 𝐢𝐢. ] ship aes › what a terrifying thing it is to be loved by you.

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cassaloopa · 7 months

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I love thinking about the fact that when you romance Astarion, like, actually start to romance him, you don’t have sex with him. At all. And it comes up in other interactions later on, like if you get propositioned by Halsin, Astarion checks if his lack of participation is a factor in your consideration? And if you mess with Mizora, similar thing. So it’s clear that since he confessed his true feelings, that part of your relationship pauses, as he requested. Because he’s got trauma and needs a gentle loving space to work through that to be intimate in a healthy way that doesn’t repulse him or taint your bond.

And I love that he gets that narrative because it’s such a rare option for a masculine character to experience sexual abuse and trauma and be allowed a chance to work through and heal from it. Especially if they’re young and gorgeous and virile like he is. He’s only 39 at his death/turning, he was so young, and Cazador treats him like a boy in so many ways while simultaneously using his adult sex appeal as a lure and a weapon to control him and destroy other lives through his body. It’s such an integral part of his abusive enslavement and I appreciate that choice for his story rather than a simple one of monstrous violence, murder, etc which is a more common trope for male characters.

So he’s coming from that place, and then he meets you and his default setting is to fuck you to secure his safety, his worth in your eyes. But if you show him true love and care, he starts to see a way to return that which is something he’s never been able to do before, but the sex complicates it suddenly. And you can just back off from it, give him the space he needs, make him feel safe to trust love and security isn’t bound to what he can offer you physically. It’s not bound to his body, his functions. It’s his personhood that you desire, his essence without strings attached, and he gets to learn that and trust it and grow it without pressure or judgement. Even the times after where you ask to kiss him feel so sweet, to check in with him on such a simple act of intimacy, where he gets his autonomy to consent.

And then, at the end of his storyline in the graveyard, when he’s reclaiming his life in symbolic and literal ways, that’s when he feels the most safe and in love with you, trusts you the most to care for him completely, and that’s when he initiates physicality again. And I just fucking love that for him. So much.

As a person who’s struggled with physical intimacy and learning I could have boundaries and need to take my time with stuff and my partner wouldn’t abandon me over it? Would stay even if I couldn’t promise to ever fulfill that part of our relationship again? The safety of that reassurance is everything, and it helps you find a way back to your body again, to loving it and wanting to share it with another. Because you get to choose when and how and anything offered is received with pure gratitude and admiration. And I love that Astarion gets that chance because he deserves to heal and feel whole again, to live fully without barriers. And you get to help him find that. It’s beautiful.

#cass says random shit #baldurs gate spoilers #bg3 spoilers #astarion #bg3 astarion #baldur’s gate 3 #astarion ancunin #astarion bg3 #bg3 #astarion baldurs gate #baldurs gate astarion

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