Love without End
Inspired by this post by @hithisiszooz Warning: Really long post, I mean really really long omg
Johnny shouldn't have been there that night. He was grounded three ways to Sunday, and he didn't have his ride for the night.
He shouldn't have been there. There were so many reasons why he shouldn't have been at that party. Richie hated his guts, and the party was at the quarterbacks place.
Yet, Johnny was estatic he went.
Because if Johnny hadn't gone, he had listened to all the signs from the universe... Johnny wouldn't have met Kitty.
The moment his eyes landed on the green-haired beauty, he was enraptured. In the split second their eyes met, Johnny knew he was in love.
Kitty would become his everything. She was the perfect girl, and Johnny wouldn't lose her. He wasn't going to mess this up like he did everything else.
They didn't call him "Johnny 13" for no reason.
Except, Kitty took it in strides. Every time he let his eyes wonder and she caught him. When she found out the reason he never spent time at home.
Every little thing that Johnny kept hidden from the world, Kitty loved. She was the only person Johnny was ever close with.
And she was perfect for it.
~○~●~○~●~○~●~○~
Kitty didn't want to go. Sure, all her friends were pushing for it. It was going to be the biggest party of the year. Everyone was going to be there.
She knew why she had received a personal invitation from the school mascot. Why Richie and the team wanted her there. Lucas was the reason, she knew it.
It was going to be some elaborate and complicated scheme to get her to sleep with him. Everyone knew about the tradition, and Lucas was the newest team edition.
Yet, Kitty was estatic she went.
Because if Kitty hadn't gone, and straight up shut Lucas down... Kitty wouldn't have met Johnny.
The moment she caught sight of him, tired and disheveled. She knew he was the one, the man she wanted by her side. Kitty knew she was in love.
Johnny became her everything. He was the perfect gentleman, and Kitty didn't want to lose him. She wasn't going to give him a reason to leave her.
Except she did. Kitty gave Johnny a hundred and one reasons to leave her. To find himself a better girl, someone easier to handle. Someone who would be the perfect wife and mother.
Johnny never left her. He took her in strides. Every time she got too riled up, every time her nails left a new mark. Every time she said or did something that left her in a pit of self hatred.
Johnny was always there. Through thick and thin, the perfect man stayed right beside her.
~○~●~○~●~○~●~○~
That one party, changed everything for Kitty and Johnny.
Since that night, they were attached at the hip. There was no Kitty without Johnny. And no Johnny without Kitty.
It felt natural, right. Even with the fighting. Even with people around them telling them they wouldn't last.
Kitty and Johnny loved each other. They could see their life together easily.
Expect the day the accident happened.
Johnny remembers riding with Kitty. He had just gotten into yet another argument with his father. Johnny wanted to blow off steam. He wanted to see Kitty, to feel her arms wrapped around him, and the wind whipping around them as they sped down the street.
Kitty remembers the feeling she felt when Johnny was suddenly at her window. The way she could tell he was holding back tears and the slight shake in his hands as he asked her to go for a ride.
The night was cold. A fog settled in the air, and the full moon high in the sky. The full moon that was obscured by clouds and the mist. A soft blue light was the only reminder of it's presence.
Kitty had a bad feeling in her gut. Even as she settled into the seat behind Johnny. A spot she had grown so accustomed to. Her arms wrapped around his middle on instinct, chin propping on his shoulder as she held him tight.
There was a barely there tremble in Johnny's muscles. He was trying desperately to push away the thoughts that swirled in his head. The heavy feelings trying to push their way out.
Then Kitty pressed a soft kiss to his cheek.
And the world seemed to disappear around them. The tense left Johnny as he threw a grin over his shoulder, being met with Kitty's smile and loving eyes.
Just like that, the two loverbirds were barreling down the streets. The wind was cold and harsh against their cheeks, hair whipping around with no sense of direction.
But neither of them cared.
None of it mattered. Nothing that happened outside of their relationship mattered in that moment. It was Johnny and Kitty.
Just the two of them against the world. It felt perfect. It was just like how life should always be for them.
Kitty laughed along with Johnny as she held on tight. The ride was a bit bumpy. The world was hazy around them. Both from speed and from the fog.
They weren't worried. In all this time, Johnny had always had an amazing control over his bike. Sure, they took a tumble here and there. But nothing serious. Nothing scary.
Except tonight.
The memory was hazy for both Johnny and Kitty. But they both could agree in the same details.
Johnny took a sharp, curving turn. The landscape obscured what was on the other side of the curve. Then a pair of glaring bright headlights landed on them.
Kitty immediately slammed her eyes closed at the harsh brightness. Johnny did the best he could to see through the light. To try and get a grip of the situation.
Then there was the horn. The sound of a semi-truck blaring its horn. Just like that, Johnny could clearly see the truck.
Fear rushed through him, but he tried to keep his cool. Johnny didn't care about himself, but he had precious cargo with him.
Kitty cried out at the sound of the horn, pressing herself tighter against Johnny's back as she spiraled in thought. No matter what, Kitty knew she was powerless. She had no control over the bike or the truck.
But she could make sure she didn't let go of Johnny.
Johnny set his shoulders, clutching the handles as he pushed forward. Another sharp turn, and they barely managed to get by the truck without impact.
There was a brief moment of relief. Extremely brief.
The next thing the two of them knew, the bike had rammed straight into the guardrails. The front wheel caught in a small gap. Swinging the bike upwards, and sending both Johnny and Kitty into the air.
Kitty hates to remember this part. The way she screamed out Johnny's name. The way her arms slipped from his body as they barreled through the air.
Then, the impact.
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the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.
capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.
now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.
and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.
and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.
and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".
it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"
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hey! ik you have a big following, and you’ve mentioned visiting israel and palestine on school trips— i really think your voice would be valuable in speaking out on the injustices happening in that region. you always speak so eloquently on race/gender issues on your blog and i’m really interested in hearing your take! plus i think your platform is large enough to really make a good stand!
i appreciate that you sent this ask, and i appreciate that you thought of me. i agree with everything you’re saying, and i wanted to respond to this immediately because of that, even if i don’t have much of an answer to share.
i’ve studied the conflict for years and, like you said, was in israel and palestine (as in the territories named as such) six months ago; i was at the gaza border in may. i actually disqualified myself from birthright because i wanted to be able to go on academic dispensation specifically (i couldn’t go to the west bank otherwise). i study sociology and jewish studies in my degree program. i’m jewish, i’m south asian, i come from a family of refugees, i come from a family of jains, i come from a family of, like, californians, i come from a family with just as many intersections as any other. suffice to say, i have a lot, a lot of emotions tied up in the levant.
the thing is, because i’ve studied it for so long, and because i study sociology specifically, i also know that saying something before i’ve processed it well enough is irresponsible. this conflict is wrapped up in linguistics; the wording you use is everything. i’m really aware of that, i’m also really aware that i’m not in a place where i feel comfortable enough to articulate myself properly. for my own safety, for responsibility’s sake, and because i’m aware of how nuanced and linguistically fucked discussing this conflict is, i don’t want to make a large statement on it while i’m not in a place to do so.
what i will say for now is that if you’re viewing this conflict as a soccer game between two teams, you are not viewing this conflict in a humanist way. normal civillians, palestinian, druze, samaritan, jewish, israeli arab, armenian, any normal person who lives in the land, should be the only “team” you’re on the side of. listen to people who are from the land, read sources in arabic, read sources in hebrew, read multiple perspectives in multiple languages for every event you want to understand better. understanding how important history, generational trauma, and narrative are in this conflict is essential to understanding why any of this is happening, and if anyone says there’s a simpler way to do it, there’s not. no one tribe in the land can leave, and no one tribe in the land deserves anything less than peace and self determination. personally, my first thought about war is how much i care about people, not which state i feel like backing.
i may post more on tumblr, i may post more on other platforms, i may choose keep my activism in-person rather than purely online. navigating all of this while also being pretty devastated and horrified is complex, and i ask for understanding.
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