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kettlefire · 13 days
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kettlefire · 16 days
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I keep seeing this happen and I feel like I'm going insane????
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kettlefire · 21 days
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i keep seeing fake to real relationship fics where Red Robin is sacrificed to the ghost king
and those are great don’t get me wrong, but why is it always Red Robin??
wouldn’t it — hear me out ok — would it not be infinitely funnier if Timothy Drake-Wayne, CEO of Wayne Enterprises, a son of Gotham’s beloved royal family, social media blue check, was kidnapped and sacrificed instead.
Imagine the panic. The internet catastrophe. The viral posts. The public outcry. Why is the Justice League taking so long to rescue this poor boy??
Then imagine said poor boy finally being rescued. They manage it. They get him back.
And upon his return from what was obviously, no doubt, a traumatizing ordeal of inter dimensional kidnapping, Timothy Drake-Wayne’s first Twitter post is just
“give me back my ghost king boyfriend I miss him : (”
The internet would fucking EXPLODE ok listen, no stop walking away listen to me —
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kettlefire · 26 days
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Rich pregnant socialite: So we went to this clinic and let them manipulate our genes so we're 100% sure our child won't have any disease, he will have my hair and his father eyes and so much things we did for him! And you Bruce ?
Brucie: Found em in the trash. Except Tim, he found me in the trash.
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kettlefire · 29 days
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Danny Phantom fics in a nutshell:
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kettlefire · 1 month
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One of the good things you can learn about the Fenton family, is that they liked and respected each other's privacy, they don't pry or engage to other family members business, unless it's something dangerous and life threatening.
But sometimes that is also the main reason, why they are so out of touch within family matters, and why the six of them are currently standing infront of each other in one of the hallways of the watchtower, flabbergasted and confused while pointing at each other.
Maddie, The scientist: Jack dear, were you aware of our kids working here?
Jack, The engineer: Nope, But I'm know realizing why they needed our signatures!
Jazz, The therapist: I'm not paid enough for this.
Danny, The hero: Ancients, Wraith you became a Sidekick?
Dani, The sidekick: I got kidnapped by Wonder woman, while travelling who am I to reject her?
Dan, The villain: Well there's goes my plan on destroying the watchtower
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kettlefire · 1 month
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kettlefire · 1 month
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johnny 13
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kettlefire · 1 month
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straight chillin
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kettlefire · 2 months
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Are.. are there any matches for Smash Mouth All Star full lyrics? I need to know. For science!!!
String identified:
c t T ga a't t at t t a g t g a t t a a a
, t a tat cg A t 't t cg t t a t t g g 't a t t a gt at t a gt
c t , c t at' g t tag t ac tt? ' 't g ' 't g
, ' a a ta Gt ga , g a , ' a c ta Gt t , gt a A a tat gtt g tg ta a t
t' a c ac a t a t gt c ' t at t gt t t t g t gg t t att ct
T c at gttg tt t T at gttg a gt a ' , at ? Tat' t a t A gt
, ' a a ta Gt ga , g a , ' a c ta Gt t , gt a A a tat gtt g tg ta a t
, ' a a ta Gt ga , g a , ' a c ta Gt t , gt a A a tat gtt g tg ta
c a C a cag ga? t gt aa t ac a: , at a cct c a tt A c a a tt cag
t a tat cg A t 't t cg t t a t t g g 't a t t a gt at t a gt
c t , c t at' g t tag t ac tt ' 't g (g!) ' 't g
, ' a a ta Gt ga , g a , ' a c ta Gt t , gt a
A a tat gtt g tg ta a t A a tat gtt g tg ta a t
Closest match: Ennomos fuscantarius genome assembly, chromosome: 3 Common name: Dusky Thorn Moth
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kettlefire · 2 months
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Damian Wayne was like a duckling. A violent, stab-happy, danger-prone duckling, yes, but a duckling all the same. Which means when Danny almost got stabbed by a sleepy, instinct driven Damian, he was able to wave it off with a laugh. Damian, on the other hand, stared in horror at the butter knife firmly lodged in Danny’s arm.
“PENNYWORTH!” Danny jerked back at Damian’s scream. “RICHARD! FATHER!”
God damn, the kid had a pair of lungs on him. Danny’s wince was interpreted as pain to Damian, who gently grabbed his injured arm and started to pull him towards the kitchen’s marble island.
Danny blinked, non plussed as his hearing picked up a thundering of feet as the present family members scrambled towards Damian’s distress call.
“Wait, Damian, I’m fine. It’s-”
“You have been impaled, you imbecile! Had it been any of the other simpletons, they would have-!”
“Ouch.” Danny put his other hand in mock hurt over his slow-beating heart. He literally doesn’t care about the butter knife. He’s just impressed there was enough force in there to impale him. “Are you calling me names now? After- gasp- stabbing me?”
Before Damian could reply, the beginnings of regret, remorse, and guilt on his face, Alfred, Dick, and Bruce burst into the kitchen.
“What happened?!”
“My word, master Danny!”
“What is it?!”
“I’m fine. It’s like a small stab. Not even a big stab. I’m good.”
Dick paled, seeing Danny’s arm clutched in Damian’s hand.
“That’s- that’s a knife. In your arm. How is that ‘fine’?!”
“What happened.” Bruce asked Damian, gently removing Danny’s arm from Damian’s death clutch.
“I- I did not mean to,” Damian starts, guilt coloring his voice.
“He didn’t,” Danny cuts in. “I startled him and got stabbed for being dumb. I won’t fault him for having a defense mechanism like that, ancient knows what I might do if you guys startled me.”
The awkward silence that settled at his words made Danny twitch awkwardly.
“Uh, so, can I add this knife to my collection? Even if I didn’t get mugged?”
“Danny.”
“Bruce.” Danny stared stubbornly back. With his uninsured hand, he patted Damian on the head. He was going to enjoy the fluffiness before Damian’s guilt was no longer enough to hold him back from snapping at Danny’s hand like a grumpy alligator. Bruce loses, obviously. He’s a teenager who was also an ex-vigilante. Batman’s got nothing on a determined halfa.
“Master Danny, I must insist you refrain from getting stabbed. There is only so much gauze and antiseptic cream in the house.” Alfred returned- huh, when did he leave?- with a med kit.
Danny called bullshit because he knows there’s a whole ass medical bay beneath the manor.
“Sorry.”
“No need to apologize.” Alfred said, promptly beginning the extraction of the butter knife.
“Are you okay?” Dick asked, hovering worriedly. “He- are you…?”
Damian was allowing Danny to ruffle his hair, so…
“Yep, I’m good. This isn’t even on my top thirty most painful stabbings,” and it really wasn’t. That honor was given to the GIW and that one time Jazz accidentally stabbed him with her earrings. “That was pretty impressive, actually. It’s like, a butter knife. The other ones had pointy ends.”
“Do not clump me with those pathetic wastes of spaces. I am naturally superior and would… would never harm you on purpose.” Damian said, getting quiet at the end like he was trying to plead to Danny to believe him.
“Of course not. But- if you want help me keep the knife, you can hit me with a mug, it would technically be a mugging.”
The pun got the desired effect. Damian leaned away with a disgruntled look and Dick stopped hovering as close in order to let out a small cackle.
“Done.”
“You should go get changed, kiddo. We’re going to see Tim’s photography at the Gotham Gallery today.”
“Oh, for real?” Danny patted Damian’s fluffy hair one last time, pushing away from the counter. “Oh, I’ll clean up here first and-”
“That will not be necessary,” Alfred scolded, a mop somehow already in his hands. “Please see to it you are prepared for the day.”
“Thanks, Alfred. Can I keep the knife.”
“Very well.”
“Sweet. See you guys later?” Danny pranced off after seeing the nods.
——
“He’s… he got stabbed a lot. Before us, I mean.” Dick tapped a furious rhythm onto the counter. “Not that we’ve stabbed him until now but even once is concerning for a civilian.”
“He was used to it.” Bruce replied.
“Perhaps we should join Todd in his endeavor and ensure that his worthless tormentors are permanently out of the picture.”
“God, he said top thirty. He was counting.”
Damian silently withdrew a kitchen knife.
“No murder with my quality chef’s knives, Master Damian.”
“Tt.”
“Master Jason follows the same rules. Now, out of the kitchen. I may be old, but I remember the last time master Bruce and master Dick stepped foot in here and I will not have a repeat.”
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kettlefire · 2 months
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Reblog for larger sample size whatever
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kettlefire · 3 months
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kettlefire · 3 months
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What a year this week has been.
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kettlefire · 3 months
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Love without End
Inspired by this post by @hithisiszooz Warning: Really long post, I mean really really long omg
Johnny shouldn't have been there that night. He was grounded three ways to Sunday, and he didn't have his ride for the night.
He shouldn't have been there. There were so many reasons why he shouldn't have been at that party. Richie hated his guts, and the party was at the quarterbacks place.
Yet, Johnny was estatic he went.
Because if Johnny hadn't gone, he had listened to all the signs from the universe... Johnny wouldn't have met Kitty.
The moment his eyes landed on the green-haired beauty, he was enraptured. In the split second their eyes met, Johnny knew he was in love.
Kitty would become his everything. She was the perfect girl, and Johnny wouldn't lose her. He wasn't going to mess this up like he did everything else.
They didn't call him "Johnny 13" for no reason.
Except, Kitty took it in strides. Every time he let his eyes wonder and she caught him. When she found out the reason he never spent time at home.
Every little thing that Johnny kept hidden from the world, Kitty loved. She was the only person Johnny was ever close with.
And she was perfect for it.
~○~●~○~●~○~●~○~
Kitty didn't want to go. Sure, all her friends were pushing for it. It was going to be the biggest party of the year. Everyone was going to be there.
She knew why she had received a personal invitation from the school mascot. Why Richie and the team wanted her there. Lucas was the reason, she knew it.
It was going to be some elaborate and complicated scheme to get her to sleep with him. Everyone knew about the tradition, and Lucas was the newest team edition.
Yet, Kitty was estatic she went.
Because if Kitty hadn't gone, and straight up shut Lucas down... Kitty wouldn't have met Johnny.
The moment she caught sight of him, tired and disheveled. She knew he was the one, the man she wanted by her side. Kitty knew she was in love.
Johnny became her everything. He was the perfect gentleman, and Kitty didn't want to lose him. She wasn't going to give him a reason to leave her.
Except she did. Kitty gave Johnny a hundred and one reasons to leave her. To find himself a better girl, someone easier to handle. Someone who would be the perfect wife and mother.
Johnny never left her. He took her in strides. Every time she got too riled up, every time her nails left a new mark. Every time she said or did something that left her in a pit of self hatred.
Johnny was always there. Through thick and thin, the perfect man stayed right beside her.
~○~●~○~●~○~●~○~
That one party, changed everything for Kitty and Johnny.
Since that night, they were attached at the hip. There was no Kitty without Johnny. And no Johnny without Kitty.
It felt natural, right. Even with the fighting. Even with people around them telling them they wouldn't last.
Kitty and Johnny loved each other. They could see their life together easily.
Expect the day the accident happened.
Johnny remembers riding with Kitty. He had just gotten into yet another argument with his father. Johnny wanted to blow off steam. He wanted to see Kitty, to feel her arms wrapped around him, and the wind whipping around them as they sped down the street.
Kitty remembers the feeling she felt when Johnny was suddenly at her window. The way she could tell he was holding back tears and the slight shake in his hands as he asked her to go for a ride.
The night was cold. A fog settled in the air, and the full moon high in the sky. The full moon that was obscured by clouds and the mist. A soft blue light was the only reminder of it's presence.
Kitty had a bad feeling in her gut. Even as she settled into the seat behind Johnny. A spot she had grown so accustomed to. Her arms wrapped around his middle on instinct, chin propping on his shoulder as she held him tight.
There was a barely there tremble in Johnny's muscles. He was trying desperately to push away the thoughts that swirled in his head. The heavy feelings trying to push their way out.
Then Kitty pressed a soft kiss to his cheek.
And the world seemed to disappear around them. The tense left Johnny as he threw a grin over his shoulder, being met with Kitty's smile and loving eyes.
Just like that, the two loverbirds were barreling down the streets. The wind was cold and harsh against their cheeks, hair whipping around with no sense of direction.
But neither of them cared.
None of it mattered. Nothing that happened outside of their relationship mattered in that moment. It was Johnny and Kitty.
Just the two of them against the world. It felt perfect. It was just like how life should always be for them.
Kitty laughed along with Johnny as she held on tight. The ride was a bit bumpy. The world was hazy around them. Both from speed and from the fog.
They weren't worried. In all this time, Johnny had always had an amazing control over his bike. Sure, they took a tumble here and there. But nothing serious. Nothing scary.
Except tonight.
The memory was hazy for both Johnny and Kitty. But they both could agree in the same details.
Johnny took a sharp, curving turn. The landscape obscured what was on the other side of the curve. Then a pair of glaring bright headlights landed on them.
Kitty immediately slammed her eyes closed at the harsh brightness. Johnny did the best he could to see through the light. To try and get a grip of the situation.
Then there was the horn. The sound of a semi-truck blaring its horn. Just like that, Johnny could clearly see the truck.
Fear rushed through him, but he tried to keep his cool. Johnny didn't care about himself, but he had precious cargo with him.
Kitty cried out at the sound of the horn, pressing herself tighter against Johnny's back as she spiraled in thought. No matter what, Kitty knew she was powerless. She had no control over the bike or the truck.
But she could make sure she didn't let go of Johnny.
Johnny set his shoulders, clutching the handles as he pushed forward. Another sharp turn, and they barely managed to get by the truck without impact.
There was a brief moment of relief. Extremely brief.
The next thing the two of them knew, the bike had rammed straight into the guardrails. The front wheel caught in a small gap. Swinging the bike upwards, and sending both Johnny and Kitty into the air.
Kitty hates to remember this part. The way she screamed out Johnny's name. The way her arms slipped from his body as they barreled through the air.
Then, the impact.
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kettlefire · 4 months
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them boys and a man striving to be a good dad
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kettlefire · 4 months
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Constantine & the King
First time Constantine meets the Ghost King, he's expecting problems. In his line of work, when all the shadows in the room seem to be pulled toward a point in the room. Creating a dark portal that suddenly glowed a startling green, it's more than concerning.
However, Constantine was thrown off by the young man that stepped out of the portal. Young man could be putting it generously. The kid looked barely legal to drink.
However the kid was holding a scroll that looked thicker than his own head. A crown, ring, and cape that just screamed royalty.
Constantine did not expect the kid to greet with joy and friendliness.
It was the Ghost King. The being that held full control over that aspect of the mythical realms. His name was Danny, and Constantine found the kid's lack of professionalism a nice break.
That scroll? Every contract Constantine ever signed that used his soul as a bargianing chip.
Now, Constantine expected annoyance. If his soul was technically meant to end up in the grasp of thw King, wouldn't the kid be pissed?
After all, Constantine was certain one of those contracts was with the prior Ghost King.
Except, Danny loved it. He was all grins and laughter as he spoke about it. The kid complained about the amount of paperwork, sure. Who wouldn't?
Aside from that, Danny adored Constantine's work. His nonchalantness when it came to signing away his soul.
Danny relished in the chaos he has happening among various other entities. Praised Constantine, and thanked him for the entertainment.
Constantine realized that this Ghost King was a brat. He enjoyed the chaos and the drama as long as it hurt absolutely anyone. This kid was a little shithead.
And Constantine got a confirmation. No matter what, no matter what contracts he signed. His soul was going to end up in Danny's hands.
Constantine didn't mind that. He liked the spirit the kid had. Found a fondness for the King.
A fondness that only grew with every impromptu meeting. Every time the room grew colder, and the shadows moved and warped in the room.
Constantine grew accustomed to it. He looked forward to it.
Then it happened.
Constantine was at the Justice League Watchtower. A simple consultation, nothing too crazy. It was all going to be fine.
Until Constantine felt the shift in the room.
The temperature dropped. The shadows shifted and contorted, and a portal began to form.
Constantine waved off the other heroes concern and defense. Turning towards the forming portal, and prepared to see the kid. The kid who was easily his favorite being in the world at this point.
Except that changed once he saw the familiar being step through the portal.
Maybe step was the wrong word. Danny basically stumbled out of the green portal. Landing harshly on his knees in front of the league.
Constantine wasted no time rushing forward. Pulling the kid close to him, and taking in the sight. Looking for any sign of what was wrong.
Blood and a green substance coated the kid's closed. And Constantine noted the cape was completely missing. The kid was in tears, shaking horrible and in a state of complete hysteria.
All Constantine knew, was that he was going to make them pay.
Whoever brought this normally confident and carefree king to his knees, wasn't going to last much longer.
Those bastards will pay.
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