#I can't explain this kid | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

stingslikeabee · 1 year

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The "if they had a kid" meme for Melissa and Ryuji? :eyes:

send me a pair name and I’ll tell you what I think it would be like if they had a child . accepting

Name: Kenzo Goda (JP: 郷田健三). Gender: Male. General appearance: The first thing anyone notes about Kenzo is his height - he’s nearly as tall as Ryuji as an adult, and his build is also muscular-leaning and strong, but he never actively fostered that (he enjoys swimming and surfing out of everything, so he’s not as bulky as he could have been given his genes). His hair is very dark brown, the same shade of Ryuji (when not bleached) and Melissa’s, but slightly wavier/fuller than his colleagues who are fully Japanese. Kenzo makes a point of keeping longer hair (around the shoulders), with limited/no facial hair - exception are the eyebrows, which are natural and rather thick and emphasize the very intelligent/calm look of his eyes (Kenzo’s eyes are lighter than the average Japanese brown, an influence of his mom). Personality: Kenzo has the chill and cool demeanor that neither of his parents were equipped with; the boy has always been soft-spoken, collected and hardly bothered or angered by mostly anything. Despite the evident charisma and charm that both Ryuji and Melissa display, Kenzo’s appeal is very different - he just exudes this soothing aura and an overall sense of tranquility that draws others in. While his parents were agents of chaos during most of their lives (particularly when young), Kenzo is remarkably at peace with the world and his place on it and a notable pacifist/diplomat in how he approaches problems. Special talents: Kenzo loves nature and feels really at ease in the wilderness - he’s an accomplished tracker, hiker and an amazing surfer. He also seems to be trusted/liked by most types of animals - from stray dogs to shy birds, he somehow makes it easier for the other creatures to approach and not feel threatened by his presence (a feat considering his towering height and muscular strength). Who they like better: Both - it sounds like a fake, diplomatic answer to appease egos and avoid trouble, but he means it. Kenzo really like both of his parents equally for their different strengths and finds their union quite inspiring and lovely. However, he tends to favor his mother if he needs advice on personal matters (although he normally goes to his father later, too). Who they take after more: It’s definitely Ryuji where appearances are concerned, although there is just enough of Melissa’s blood to make it evident that he’s not fully Asian; in terms of personality, frankly, it’s a mystery - both of his parents were troublemakers in their own way and no one can explain how Kenzo seems to be so much wiser beyond his years. The closest relative in terms of personality is his maternal grandmother, Eleanor. Personal Headcanon: He decided he wanted to become a surfer after the first time the Godas visited Okinawa. It’s the first home that Melissa had in Japan and she still enjoys going there for the beaches, the warmer weather and the food - Kenzo was still very young, around 5 years old or so, when he saw the sea there for the first time and became absolutely obsessed with it. As a consequence, if Kenzo ever gets a say for any of the family vacation destinations, he’ll pick somewhere with good beaches and the right amount of wind for the perfect waves. Faceclaim: Forrest Hoffman.

#kansaisdragon #v: Yakuza #if they had a kid #replied #I can't explain this kid #having zero personality traits from his parents #and overall vibing differently #but he begged to be written this way 8D

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bixels · 11 days

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The idea that uni protesters are "elitist ivy-league rich kids larping as revolutionaries" on Twitter and Reddit and even here is so fucking funny to me if you actually know anything about the student bodies at these unis. Take it from someone who's going to one of the biggest private unis in the US, 80% of the peers I know are either from the suburbs or an apartment somewhere in America, children of immigrants, or here on a student visa. I've heard about one-percenter students, but I've never met one in person. Like, don't get me wrong, the institution as a whole is still very privileged and white. I've talked with friends and classmates about feeling weird or dissonant being here and coming from such a different background. But in my art program, I see BIPOC, disabled, queer, lower-income students and faculty trying to deconstruct and tear that down and make space every day. So to take a cursory glance at a crowd of student protesters in coalitions that are led by BIPOC & 1st/2nd-gen immigrant students and HQ'd in ethnic housings and student organizations and say, "ah. children of the elite." Get real.

#also idk how to tell you this but even if it were true. wealthy children potentially sacrificing their educational careers to protest is #a good thing actually. idk how to tell you that caring about people from other nations is good #personal #“this war has nothing to do with most students cuz nobody's getting drafted” idk how to explain to you that we should be angry #that our tuitions of 10s of thousands of dollars that we pay every year for an education is being used to fund a genocidal campaign #also the implication that if you go to a uni institution you are automatically privileged by participation no matter your bg #i didn't /want/ to go to this school. i was supposed to go to a school with an art/animation program. but i realized my immigrant #parents have been working their whole lives to get me here. and turning the opportunity down would be a disservice to their sacrifice #this is getting into convos of “what 2nd gen kids owe their parents” which is different for everyone but. yeah #i just get pissed off at seeing people misrepresenting student bodies as “wealthy” and “privileged” and “elite” when it's such a blatant li #i remember a year ago a friend told me they can't fly home to hong kong for winter break because the plane tickets are too expensive #so they have to find temporary housing around the area #last quarter for a film doc class my film partner made a doc on a small group of marxist grad students from india discussing praxis #during a rally a few months ago in response to police presence the coalition invited palestinian students to speak about their experiences #and lead songs and read poems they wrote. these are STUDENTS. are they elitist too?#this is not to disregard my own personal privilege either.#this whole narrative's just to rationalize a lack of empathy to me. seeing a 19yo student get shot by a rubber bullet and your first #reaction is “HAW! HAW! bet richy rich didn't see THAT coming when she put on her terrorist hood!”#newsflash. these big uni campuses are HAUNTED by the violence of past protests and revolutions and police brutality. we know.#why do you think these coalitions have been making reinforced barricades at record speed

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vampirehayfever · 3 months

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Kristen: *revives her god from being taken over by magical posessive anger, likely going to save not only their relationship but Cassandra herself*

Fig:

#i can't explain the image #but im already sorry #maybe i shouldn't be on tumblr high #dimension 20 #d20 #fantasy high junior year #fhjy spoilers #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year spoilers #d20 fantasy high #dropout #brennan lee mulligan #ally beardsley #emily axford #intrepid heroes #the bad kids #figueroth faeth #fig faeth #kristen applebees

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welcometogrouchland · 3 months

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I've been binging Batman Beyond recently (Terry ily so much) and thought about how- bc of the JLU twist which I think isn't even canon to the comics BB verse but shhh bare with me- he'd technically be Damian's half brother??? Which is just so ridiculously soap opera to me. I need them to interact in a silly time travel adventure so bad you don't even understand (ID in alt)

#dc comics #damian wayne #terry mcginnis #batman beyond #batman and robin #mine #also feat the mild damian uniform redesign i like playing around with. it's fun i like her. i love u classic robin colours #the backstory for this image in my mind is that Terry knows of Damian/has maybe met him #in the future (whether we're going w the rebirth ''damian rejoins the league'' angle that i. don't love conceptually but can't judge-#-bc i haven't read. or if we go w/ some other potential future route for damian) and Terry is like. experiencing whiplash at meeting him-#-as robin. like you are 5 feet tall why r u so bossy. where is your dad good god. this is why i don't have a robin (?this is pre matt-robin)#but Terry's in an unfamiliar time trying not to cause a paradox so he puts aside his indignitude(?) at being bossed around by a kid #just long enough to make sure nothing goes horrifically wrong. hence this image takes place #<- i could've been a lot more eloquent explaining this but it's very late and i should've been asleep ages ago #anyway. absolutely crazy to me that Damian has had multiple flavours of secret brother plots and terry is a potential addition. rip damian #(also in my ideal future damian took up the nightwing mantle (EVERYONE READ NIGHTWING MUST DIE!!!) before retiring(#idk what his future career is. lowkey hes a webcomic artist in my brain but that's so horrendously self indulgent i can't condone it #also i decided to try my hands at lineart again. evil. how are you so stiff looking and difficult to do. waughh #anyway if things look weird. no they don't

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swkbiggestdefender · 3 months

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red eyes wukong become canon in season 5 please!!

He looks so cool (I edited this btw)

#lego monkie kid #lmk sun wukong #monkei kid #sun wukong #lmk monkey king #lmk #lego sun wukong #lego monkey kid #lego monkie king #i can't explain why but i want this

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pettyprocrastination · 1 year

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whoever this beloved anon was I am so touched by your kindness! You definitely didn’t have to do this but I am so happy you enjoy this idea and I will happily expand upon it for you!

this is just a collection of word vomit bullet points for the time being but I will happily answer any and all questions about this pair!!

warnings: violence, angst, child death (Sarah Miller), foul language, the same warnings that apply to tlou, reader is Sarah's mom and described as having similar features to her.

So the general Idea is that you and Joel are happily married before the outbreak.

You had been Sarah's mother, his high school sweetheart he got pregnant when neither of you were old enough to have any reaction to the pregnancy test other than a fucking panic attack in one another’s arms. but you made it work

you both worked but made time for one another and your sweet girl, going to museums every other weekend and joel insisting on swooping you off for a date every now and then

nothing special. He knows you’re more of a diner gal than anything too fancy that makes you both feel out of place.

On his birthday in 2003, you had planned to tell him that you were pregnant again. But the memories of your own fears of motherhood from all those years ago begin to swirl through your head again and you get cold feel. deciding to tell him the morning after

it is his birthday afterall, you want to focus on him.

but when you’re woken up in the middle of the night because tommy needs to get bailed out, Joel kisses you sweetly one last time before promising he’ll be back and you can’t shake the feeling that something bad is happening.

its you that shakes sarah awake that night. shouting at her to put on her shoes when she’s still rubbing the sleep from her eyes because you’ve been listening to the radio for the past two hours, calling joel again and again and again praying for him to fucking pick up but to no avail.

Sarah, bless your little girl’s bleeding heart is the one who insists you check on the adler’s against your better suspicions and when you find the eldest looming over her daughter, blood and sinew dripping from her mouth, you grab your daughter hand and burst into a full sprint until something slams into your back and sends you tumbling onto their front lawn

its how joel finds you, struggling to keep the once sweet old woman, whose now nothing more than dead eyes and gnashing teeth straining to snap at your pulse point as you push against her while sarah shrieks before your husband runs forward and cracks her skull with a wrench.

there’s hardly a moment of pause, just enough for him to pull you up and into his arms before he’s ushering you both into the car with an urgency.

when the truck crashes, you get separated from them. Perhaps at Tommy’s side when the flames rise and create a wall, separating you from your husband, or maybe pulled into the mob of chaos when trying to escape from those already infected-

all joel knows is that you promise you’ll find him: just get sarah to safety and you’ll meet him at the river

Poor thing is already so frightened, held in her father’s arms with tears streaming down her face insisting they can’t leave you they just can’t but her father kisses her forehead and reassures her its going to be okay

“we just need to be brave, okay babygirl? Your mama’s real tough, she’s gonna be alright.”

he isn’t sure if he’s saying it to his daughter or himself.

but when he comes to the river you aren’t there. Only a soldier who points a gun at the scared little girl in his arms and then he loses everything

its when the light is gone from his daughter’s eyes that he realizes. His voice cracked and raw from sobbing that he looks around to see his brother with drawn in shoulders and tears in his eyes but his wife is nowhere to be found.

Tommy says you got lost in the chaos. Everything was so loud, so sudden that he turned around and suddenly you weren’t there.

Joel wants to go back but its Tommy that stops him, that dulls the red in his vision to a sad faded pink because his brother points at the orange horizon not too far from them, so much of the city is already in flames.

“We’re gonna find her, but not there.”

So Joel searches. for the first year spent in the world post-outbreak its all he did.

He became a smuggler because of it.

Information came at a price and he needed to be able to fucking pay it, whether it be in blood or ration cards. He was willing to do anything to find you or any thin thread that lead your way.

But it’s Tommy that asks him to give up. Not in those words of course.

The youngest Miller knows better than to say something so cruel that would make his brother, the only person he has in this world turn on him.

But his voice is worried when he asks him one night in Boston when he hasn’t even had the chance to wash the blood from his knuckles

“You think she would have wanted this for you?”

the fight that followed his words was brutal. Vicious insults and scarred fists slamming against each brother until they're both too tired and bloody to continue. Each leaning against a wall for support and Tommy’s wavering voice breaking the silence.

“I don’t know where she is, Joel. But I do know you're gonna get yourself killed if you keep lookin’ for her.”

All he can do is nod.

It’s a few days later when he meets Tess. Who has heard plenty of stories about the elder miller’s brutality and wants him to put that muscle to good use for some extra profit.

It begins his new life. One that empty and cold but one he can live.

Until of course, Ellie comes along. The sweet and incredibly opinionated girl that makes him become something akin to the man he thought died twenty years ago.

its when he’s traveling with Ellie, that it happens. When a warm familiarity has settled between the two because so much blood and pain has been shared he can’t help but see her as something close, something bright even though all he can force himself to utter in her reference is “cargo”

when theyre traveling through the woods as Ellie chatters away, probing his memory about a movie that may or may not have existed thirty years ago because her descriptions of the plot are incredibly odd he hears a voice shout for them to stop and finds himself staring at a man- no, a boy- pointing a gun at them.

Ellie stills, but Joel can see enough to know that from the lanky figure and dimpled face that he’s young. Maybe twenty, twenty-two at the oldest, but his eyes dart from Joel to Ellie with a pinprick of fear that allows Joel the time to charge forward and slam him to the ground before wrestling the gun from his hands.

He has enough to time to tuck it under the stranger’s chin before he hears the sound of the safety being turned off and finds himself looking up and seeing a gun just inches from his face.

Joel’s head whips around when Ellie’s voice calls out his name in fear, he turns to see another stranger holding her a gun point, shoulders drawn back and a shadow cast over their face by the had obstructing their identity.

“You hurt one of mine, I hurt one of yours. That a fair deal?”

Its takes him a moment to recognize you. It’s been so long since he’s heard your voice, the sweet tease when you would poke at him each time he woke up late despite the fact that you reminded him to set his alarm the night before, the times you’d chide him with a harsh “Joel Miller!” whispered in public anytime he was able to grab you a bit too passionately to be appropriate in public but the laughter in your voice let him know you were never truly mad at him. You didn’t know how to be.

But that sweetness is buried under a cold rasp that cuts through the air as you point a rifle at the scared little girl in front of you.

“You think I won’t?” You’re older now, skin covered in scars from a life he didn’t know you got the chance to live and your eyes are cold as they regard your husband. “Put the gun down and get the fuck off of him, I won’t repeat myself.”

Joel mumbles your name in awe. The woman he loved, the woman he mourned the one he fought so hard to find stands before him like some sort of hallucination and suddenly the world feels like its spinning until you bark orders at him again.

“You’ve got five seconds Joel, make a fucking choice before I make it for you.”

He looks down and realizes the boy under him, the one with the bleeding nose and snarling face has your eyes and his dimples.

“One.”

The one above him has Sarah’s hair. Soft brown curls that shine under the sun.

“Two”

Wait. No, they both do.

“Three.”

Twins. Jesus fucking Christ you had twins.

“Four.”

Joel holds the rifle up above his head and the one boy standing snatches it from his grasp, tossing it to the ground and kicking it far from his reach. He slowly stands, allowing your son- dear god your son- to scramble to his feet.

Your voice softens just for a moment. “You okay, Duke?”

Blood stains the bottom half of his face from where Joel slammed his fist into the boy’s nose just moments before, but he nods nonetheless.

Now, they both stand on one side of you and he can see the resemblance clear as day the same way he would whenever Sarah was by your side.

When you order him to hand over his bag, he does so without question before telling Ellie to do the same.

She watches him with wide eyes, her hands still up in the air but gaping at her companion as if he had grown a second head.

“Joel!” “Just do it, alright?”

He doesn’t miss the way you watch their interaction with narrowed eyes until she tosses her bag to you and you slowly lower your gun.

“Now, you want to tell me what the fuck you think you’re doin’ at my home?”

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #i had an idea of something similar for tommy but on outbreak night he uh. abandons you instead of getting separated from you #because. angst :D #people say nice things #this was incredibly generous of you anon thank you so so much!#i may get myself a little starbucks drink this week now because I havent had starbucks since like january 1st lol #joel reeling from taking in all this information and also realizing he suckerpunched HIS OWN KID #id like to apologize for all the grammatical issues with this. this is just a bulletpoint word vomit to get my thoughts on the page before-#-beginning the actual fic. also I have to do a midterm tonight and this is my treat to myself hehe #but yes. joel getting separated from his wife on outbreak night and having to accept that shes probably dead #meanwhile youve lived this entire life without him because you think HES dead ad raising your boys all on your own #which just- further digs into his insecurities about failing in his role as a protector #he couldn't save sarah. he can't save ellie and he couldn't even save you #he thinks about you pregnant and alone. fending for yourself in a world full of infected and raiders and his chest grows tight again #this is all followed by Ellie going >:O 'you KNOW THIS PSYCHO?'and then joel immediately snapping at her to WATCH HER MOUTH #because that kid has no filter and he has to explain that youre his wife #anyways joels wife is a badass mfer who also maybe has a little garden and some chickens that you and your boys take care of <3 yeah .#reunion tag #ill be using that for this specific couple because I dont have a fic title yet but if anybody has suggestions!

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deluweil · 2 months

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This may be an unpopular opinion,

But I'm having a hard time reading the posts about Christopher cheating and associating it with misogyny.

Kid is what? 13 14?

He doesn't know what he's doing is cheating, he just knows that his mother left him, not just when she died, but when she was able and healthy, and her being overwhelmed and scared and worried for her dying mother, wasn't an excuse to just walk out on her young son.

And Christopher is at the stage when he is old enough to be mad at Shannon and not just miss her, but him not "committing" (I'm writing it like this because he's a child for God's sake no one should be committing to anything at this stage, hell kids' brains aren't even done developing yet.) is not out of some hate for women, but out of real fear to get attached to someone and that they will leave.

Male friends, he has plenty and he's learned that they come and go, but a "girlfriend"? That's a lot to adjust to for someone who is used to being left by key figures in his life.

And not just Shannon, he was separated from his bisabuela during covid, and we saw that she moved back Texas, his grandparents, who he grew up in their house while Eddie was deployed for at least 4 years (because he did two tours), he doesn't see them much anymore because he was moved to LA, he knows Eddie can get hurt and leave him in a blink of an eye and now he's aware of Buck might be leaving the same way.

Now, yes! "Leading girls on" is wrong. I agree. As a woman I hate two timing men, emphasis on MEN though. - Christopher is a kid.

If Eddie's and Buck's reaction would have been, along the lines of "Kid's got game", "Well done!" and shit like that I would have screamed misogyny with you, but that wasn't the response.

Eddie didn't like that, and Buck knows the consequences and explains them to Christopher. These kind of reactions and guidance tell me that kid is going to grow up to be a good man. And I love it.

So no, Christopher isn't a two timing kid, he's just scared and did not understand the repercussions for his actions, which were explained to him, also revealing the deep wound that was festering deep inside of him without anyone knowing.

And I love that it comes out gentle and sad. Rather than the outburst we saw in S5 after Eddie almost died.

I love that Buck unravels the Diaz boys, gently helping them express the sadness and deal with it head on.

Because anger is just a mask to a lot of feelings that neither of the Diaz boys were good at expressing, I love seeing that transformation.

#christopher diaz #eddie diaz #evan buckley #unpopular opinion #I work with kids #more often than not you need to explain to them what they are doing wrong and offer alternatives #they are kids you can't expect them to be adults with an adult mindset #they need proper guidance and I love to see that both Eddie and Buck know it and work together to make sure that happens #911 spoilers #911 abc #911 7x01

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givemewallywestorgivemedeath · 1 year

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There are only so many fanfics that use the entirety of DC as cardboard cutouts to prop up bat family characters that I can read before I go berserk.

I swear to god. Every character that has ever been shipped with a bat or coexists on the same team as a bat is owed an apology.

How many Young Justice fanfics that solely revolve around Tim must exist? How many Titans fanfics centered only on Dick? Why is it a herculean task to find a Justice League fanfic without Bruce as the main character?

And then even when you do find a fic that seems like it's balanced, everything still revolves around the bat. Like Kon, Cassie and Bart have nothing else going on in their lives except Tim and Tim's issues or thinking about Tim. Like Donna and Wally and Roy just cannot function if they aren't spending every waking moment thinking about Dick.

I'm... Guys. I'm at my limit. I swear to god. We need to make a Batman tag and surgically remove all these fics and quarantine them there. We'll keep the actual DC fics and they can do whatever the fuck they want in their own tag. It's getting ridiculous how hard it is to find fanfic that's actually DC related and isn't just 'The BatFam Show'.

#im going INSANE #i literally just have to filter out the batfam characters at this point #and even that doesn't help sometimes #holy shit guys what is GOING ON #seriously if i see one more fic thats all 'haha the justice league meets the batfam and they're so shocked! 😯 because they're crazy 🤣'#i don't know how to explain to you people that THEY HAVE SEEN WEIRDER #a bunch of ninja kids aren't even making the top ten weirdest moments my dude. like. at all.#not even remotely #i can't stress ENOUGH how normal that would be to them #anyway im going fucking bonkers over here #dc #dc comics #or god fucking damnit the YJ fics that literally just have Kon's life revolving around Tim #and Cassie and Bart are just background scenary. and only exist to push Kon and Tim together. I'm going to go fucking nuts #ship whoever you want but at least have the character have an actual character beyond 'love interest'#also jfc. every. single. birdflash fic. that has Wally just be a love interest with literally nothing fucking else going on #except his relationship with Dick. work? family? life? villains?? nope! no he's just madly in love with Dick and cute and thats it!#im GOING INSANE

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meatcatt · 3 months

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I ship siffrin x loop but only in the context where they are divorced

#meat talks #i can't explain it #i dont ship them at all but i think loop should pay sif alimony every month #they bicker like one #the party can be the kids #sif took the family in the divorce #in stars and time

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kayunivy · 10 months

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kaito kuroba i would die for u

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peppermoons · 3 months

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Nobuhiko Okamoto really out there promoting his BL manga that is basically a bkdk au and you people here are just... NOT TALKING ABOUT IT?????

#bakudeku #bkdk #he really said: FINE if no one else is gonna do it i guess i'll have to do it myself #'this is a work of pure love 🥹'#one of the characters is a crybaby called uzuki and he was bullied as a kid and the other one is blond and he's uzuki's hero #and they're childhood friends whose relationship got strained over the years but now they're in high school together and they get kidnapped #and forced into some...survival game(?) where they have to fuck or die and it's called 'boku no spirited away'#like????? SIR????? EXPLAIN YOURSELF?!?!?!?#can't believe no one here is talking about it and i had to find out when i randomly saw it mentioned by someone from a different fandom #you're all on twitter and get these interesting news every day yet you choose to leave us all here in the dark. NOT FAIR

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askblueandviolet · 2 months

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I got a Innoccent Thing to give to Violet (Macaque) first

*Hands him the protection Cusion of oogley eye stones* I saw a couple Asks back people kept throwing stones, And i thought It might help stop thoses...Googley eyesd Stones Fromm hitting you...y..you might remember but..yeah..

I have A question to Both any way, So blue if you Had to say ONE nice thing About Violet what would it be?

AND Violet If you Had been given A whole day To be nice to Blue What Would you do for him?

MASTER POST

Previous 💙💜

Next 💙💜

#lego monkie kid #lego monkie kid fanart #monkie kid #monkie kid fanart #lmk #lmk fanart #lmk mayor #monkie kid mayor #lmk macaque #monkie kid macaque #blue and violet #I don't know how to explain it but this is somehow the gayest thing to come out from this blog #Mayor is such an ass and Macaque is literally threatening Mayor's life #it can't get anymore romantic than this guys this is peak #these two need to get a room before they start ripping each other apart #at some point threatening each other with violence( jokingly) will be part of their love languages #for now Mayor is just an ass and Macaque will never kill Mayor because he doesn't want to ever 'be nice'

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queenofglassbeliever · 4 months

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I can't explain how but Clarisse's (PJO) line "I'll live" has the same energy as Eliot's (Leverage) line "That's what I do".

#percy jackon and the olympians #pjo series #pjo tv show #leverage #clarisse la rue #clarisse pjo #eliot spencer #eliot leverage #leverage eliot #i become supreme lord of the bathroom #the nigerian job #i really can't explain #but when i watched the pjo ep and she said “i'll live”#something about the way she said it made me think of the way eliot says “that's what i do”#also eliot has a habit of taking every kid he meets under his wing #and he'd do the same for clarisse #eliot would fight ares #my edits #my gifs

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estapa94 · 4 months

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OH MY GAWDDDDDD

#i'm so feral for this man i can't even explain it #him with kids #UGHHH #nhl #umich hockey #hockey #umich boys #ethan edwards #nj devils

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missingexaltation · 2 years

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(Just some post-Vecna D&D shenanigans because Hellfire looked so, so serious, and D&D (IMO) is rarely like that.)

Eddie's a brutal DM. He loves putting his players through the ringer, because their victories against him are then so much sweeter. He knows they get frustrated, but they also get a sick satisfaction from the campaigns, so it works out.

Even after Vecna, when Will comes back to Indiana and joins their excommunicated Hellfire sessions, Eddie doesn't change too much. Vexing them is one of his favourite things to do, he's spent hours creating this storyline after all, and he loves watching the party flounder and pull together to succeed.

It all goes to pot when Steve first tries to play. At first, he can't remember any of the races or NPC names (OR the party's names, actually), so instead he gives them all his own nicknames, which Eddie fucking hates, but puts up with because Steve just gives him the 🥺 eyes. 'I'm new at this, Eds, I'm sorry.' And to the surprise of everyone else, it actually works.

(Eddie does not tell them why it works, and why he's immune to everyone else trying that same tactic. He and Steve have been together for a couple of months and are very much enjoying exploring that by themselves for now. Steve's not above taking advantage of Eddie during D&D though, if anything, dating the DM makes him more bold.)

The thing that winds Eddie up the most though? When Steve starts to get it together, figures out what he's doing, and starts joining in with character role play. He's competitive, gets frustrated when he rolls low during combat, but absolutely lords about when he does roll high, echoing his kingly jock past when he gets a rare kill.

It becomes a running joke, Steve only rolls high on dumb shit, never when it's important, so although he can vague his way through some encounters, he has to rely on the rest of the party (Will in particular) to heal him up again. Unlike the others, Steve doesn't have any particular attachment to his character, so he's happy to 'fuck around and find out', and risk getting killed. (He knows Eddie's already got him a new one drawn up...just in case.)

The dumb shit he gets away with cracks the kids up. Steve gets away with so much through poor ignorance and sheer ballsy plays. Everyone finds it hysterical when Steve gets a nat 20 on completely irrelevant rolls, (the worst was when he gained an NPC to adventure alongside them, causing Eddie a complete fucking headache when said NPC was fighting alone against a dozen enemies and Eddie was stuck.narrating and rolling dice against himself for fifteen minutes), but alongside all of this...there's a more horrifying realisation.

Eddie loves it too.

Sure, this particular campaign is easier than any they've done before (purposefully designed so Eddie can catalogue how his newbies play), but it's so much fun. The kids, Steve, Gareth and Jeff all find it entertaining when Eddie bangs his head against the desk in annoyance, pauses the game for a much needed smoke, when he's forced to bring yet another NPC alongside with them, or when Steve crit rolls for dumb shit like how many beers he can down at the local tavern during a short rest.

Eddie's not sure if the kids know that he's grinning like a maniac behind his DM board, or that he's hiding his face because he's laughing and not despairing, but he's sure they'll find out eventually. He keeps up the facade as long as he can though. His boyfriend, kids and his boys are having fun, so he does too.

Eddie starts only putting his foot down for really ridiculous things, enjoying the weird fucking tangents the party starts to take, and rewriting the story on the fly, not even trying to get them back on track. It's a new challenge for him, and it becomes less a game of tactics and more of a combined storytelling. And Eddie loves weaving a good story.

--------

'So...only one person can go through the portal?' Steve asks.

'Yeah, if you want someone else to try, you're gonna have to come back out first.' Eddie replies, braced for whatever fucking shenanigans he's about to try. Steve's got that face on, which means he's gonna push his luck.

'What about that bag thing, can I put someone in that and go through the portal?' He asks. 'It can hold a person, yeah? I put David Toadie the fifth in there last week.'

That immediately starts the table gossiping, and Eddie sighs, leaning back and waiting for them to all talk themselves out. The fucking bullywugs, he thinks. Steve had called them all David Toadie, because 'bullywug' was apparently too difficult.

'You could put everyone in the bag of holding.' Eddie agrees, once they've calmed down. 'But only one person can go through the portal, regardless of whether they're in the bag or not. Plus there's a time limit before they suffocate to death.'

'What if I turn the rest of us into gas?' Will chips in excitedly. Steve snaps his fingers and points at him, grinning with agreement.

'We're not people if we're gas! And we don't need to breathe!' Dustin yells, 'We can all go through!'

'They all start chanting 'IN THE BAG, IN THE BAG, IN THE BAG', while hitting the table, as they turn to Eddie, wide eyed with glee.

He groans theatrically and rubs his hands over his eyes, pressing the heels of his palms into his sockets. Jesus H Christ, these fucking kids. They weren't this disobedient before Harrington, that's for sure.

'Eighteen.' He says, begrudgingly, 'Natural eighteen or above on your D20 and you can shove all your kids in the fucking bag, Harrington. And roll where I can see it.'

Steve makes a big show of getting all the party to touch the die for luck, and rolls.

It's another fucking nineteen. His fifth of the session.

They all look from the die, up at Eddie, sitting at the head of the table. He sighs.

'I'll allow it.' He says, glumly.

The room EXPLODES with cheers. Dustin and Mike are squealing, grabbing onto Steve, and the others are hammering on the table with huge smiles on their faces. Gareth and Lucas are on their feet, twirling around like lunatics, and Eddie just sits there, utterly defeated and trying not to laugh. Steve catches his eye and winks, and Eddie just knows he's getting lucky tonight.

There's nothing but an empty room with a note, on the other side of the portal. It just needed one person to read it and memorize the runes before they came back through. It was supposed to take a minute, if that, but it's been nearly an hour because they're all terrified of what trap Eddie 'might' have set up there.

It's not defeating a dragon, or Vecna, or any other mythical, legendary monster, but already this session is easily in his top 3.

This. This is why he plays.

#eddie munson #steddie #steve harrington #DM!Eddie #look I've been listening to a lot of NADDPOD recently and i firmly believe Hellfire would easily disintegrate into similar levels of chaos #(David Toadie is...of course...David Bowie in frog form)#Steve isn't a D&D guy...he doesn't care about Eddie's rules or quirks...he just gets a kick out of frustrating Eddie that he can't explain #Eddie used to be a horrific DM..with difficult campaigns...now the kids run rings around him because mom says it's ok #(shhh...i don't care if bullywugs were around in 86...they were the first creature I thought of)#look. Hellfire was so serious but i can see Eddie relaxing the rules now he's seen how horrific reality is #It's not that the kids don't know how to have fun during d&d...Eddie just intimidates them into behaving #Steve's just the catalyst for the kids to wreak havoc..he's there for the vibe not the tactics and lore

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