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zytes · 5 months

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this manatee looks like it’s in a skyrim loading screen

#misc #I encourage anyone dyslexic to try rotating him in your mind. I can’t do that; which is why I’m asking you to.#also: a bunch of tags are surprised this isn’t ‘shopped #it’s the lighting. backlit by the sun (which is diffused through the water) but also forelit artificially #the artificial light - a flash pack or something - casts a hard shadow under the creatures arm #which normally wouldn’t be possible if backlit by the SUN; you’d see a less-hard/more-fragmented shadow above water #as light sources ‘compete’ in a sense - and since there aren’t any light sources which can outshine the literal sun #it looks a bit weird when the darkest shadow is being cast from any other origin point - which is what’s essentially happening here #I don’t know the mechanics of how light travels through water; but I know the effect is substantial even with relatively short distances #also: it’s been balanced and color corrected by the author of the photo - who made deliberate choices to bring out the full potential #so it’s not like it’s a fresh and untouched export #but the kind of ‘tacked on’ appearance of the creature is a result of the lighting conditions within the image

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mo-mode · 5 months

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AU where Mr. D claiming to be Percy’s dad accidentally counts as Claiming according to Greek god law or whatever and now all the other gods legitimacy believe Percy is his son, but if Mr. D corrects it, he has to explain to Zeus why he pretended he was Percy’s dad so now he’s like “YEP ol’ Perry Johansson is MY child wowie just look at the little fry, you have your mother’s eyes. Please stop standing next to water or you will blow my cover”

Meanwhile Poseidon is just standing off to the side like “how on earth did I dodge THAT bullet”

#EVEN BETTER if Mr D tries to keep his cover by actually treating him like a son #Clarisse doesn’t mess with him cuz after the toilet fiasco Mr D is like “I will feed you to my cult young lady!! good job Peter :)#Percy is like “hey dad why can I control water “and Mr D is like …ever heard of that guy that turned it to wine??#Mr D: PLEASE just help me I can’t keep it a secret for much longer Mr. Brunner: you told him his brother was JESUS???#percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson the lightning thief #dionysus #Mr D

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britcision · 10 months

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Hey when you move out on your own the most important food tip I can give you is “maybe you don’t hate x maybe your guardians just cooked it wrong”

The number of foods I have learned I really like if they’re Fucking Seasoned

The number of foods I’ve introduced friends to that they warned me they’d always hated til I let them try a piece of mine

Also marinade things for 24 hours the second you have your own fridge it is a GAME CHANGER you thought you knew food but you have never met her

#food tips #food #usually pork #you can’t just fry pork plain #it’s fucking boring #no #even just the tiniest bloop of teriyaki #a teaspoon of lea and perrins #or my preferred bastard mix: honey garlic honey mustard teriyaki bbq lea and perrins #leave it in that bitch overnight #i did a 48 hour marinade once and OH MY FUCKING GID #i wish i had energy to do it every day

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cafffine · 5 months

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you need to listen to Bruce Springsteen’s live albums not just his studio stuff because his crowd work has three modes it’s either “Clarence you should walk me on a leash” or “one time I fell down the stairs and I still think about it….do you still think about it?” or “this songs for my dad who only loved me sort of which was worse than not at all. he’s not in the crowd tonight. or maybe he is. if you see him please god tell me.” and before anyone can react to any of that he’s hootin and hollerin and Clarence Clemons is doing things with a saxophone that are now illegal in more than 15 US states

#the speech he gives in the middle of growing up from the 75 live album ………….#I can’t even listen to it anymore it makes me rip my skin off #*the 75 live album that released in 86 #bruce springsteen #double shot

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transmultiphobia · 8 months

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“We need more weird queer people” Y’all can’t handle 90% of the ways multigenders label their sexualities

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ultravioletness · 1 year

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I’ve been making gay knights (and ladies) collages on my phone at work

(Part two)

#gay knights #knight x knight #knightcore #medievalcore #pre raphaelite #john william waterhouse #haz asked me to post them #these are in the order that I made them and it’s not even all of them….#I’ve been having feelings.. about knights and all of that #i can’t tag all the painters I don’t remember them all #the app I used is the one in the watermark #for all your phone background needs #that was my initial goal and then it spiraled out of control #hold on let me add some more silly tags

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shepscapades · 11 days

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Collection of warmup doodles that I had way too much fun with (from these hc chatlog screenshots from the past few days! [x] [x] )

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werewolfsister · 1 month

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Nothing like finding a body in the trunk of your cherry red sports car after a hard day at work!

#I am HOWLING LAUGHING reading the reblog tags lmaoooooo ty everyone #Phoenix Wright #Miles Edgeworth #SL-9 Incident #Rise From the Ashes #Detective Goodman #Edit: thank you for 1k+ notes everyone!!!!!#Ace Attorney #Edit: thank you for 2k+ notes guys??!!!!#Edit: 2500+ notes?!?!? 😱#Edit: THREE THOUSAND NOTES WTF IS GOING ON HAHAHA THANK YOU #Edit: 3500 notes man I can’t even believe it hahaha #Edit: g- guys 4k notes please someone tell me what’s happening hahahaaaaaaa

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lo-andbehold · 8 months

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A callout post (it’s me I’m calling myself out)

#writing #oc #original character #Merlin #the Magnus archives #the penumbra podcast #(we don’t even have visuals for those two you Motherfuckers just decided (you’re right))#critical role #there are so many others I can’t think of them #marvel #dc comics

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ikiprian · 3 months

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Mr. Fenton is a competent teacher. Almost too competent.

If Mr. Daniel Fenton had any more than a BS (with a minor in education), Tim would’ve flagged his profile as a potential Rogue. That’s the way of most charismatic academics, at least in Gotham. (Got a PhD? Instant watchlist.) Instead, he’s Gotham Academy’s newest celebrity, as a young, passionate, out-of-towner substitute while the chemistry teacher’s on maternity leave.

Tim gets the hype. Fenton seems to genuinely love teaching, and is invested in the welfare of the student body. He hands out bananas during exam week, hosts a “study habits seminar” each month to coach effective learning strategies, and the third time Tim falls asleep in his class, he even pulls Tim aside to ask if he’s doing okay. With all the late work he accepts and the protein bars he sneaks Tim, he’s every teen vigilante’s dream teacher. He could’ve been Tim’s favorite.

In fact, Mr. Fenton was Tim’s favorite. Up until Tim walks into Mr. Fenton’s chemistry classroom for a forgotten textbook, an hour after the final bell.

On the board where tallied scores for today’s review game had been kept, “THE CHEMISTRY BEHIND DR. CRANE’S FEAR GAS: ANXIOGENICS, NERI’S, & YOU,” is now scrawled. A detailed diagram of the human endocrine system projects in front of a small crowd of adoring and attentive students.

Fenton is wrist-deep in the skull cavity of an anatomical model. A short tug, and out pops the brain.

It’s plastic. It’s fake.

Tim identifies the nearest emergency exit.

Fenton turns to the door, and in the dark classroom with the projector illuminating half his face, his eyes almost seem to flash red. “What’s up, Tim?” he asks. His friendly grin is too big for his face. “I didn’t know you wanted to join the Just Science League!”

[OR: Danny’s a science teacher at Tim’s school. Gotham’s a pretty wild place, even for someone who grew up a superhero in a ghost-infested town, so he takes it upon himself to start a club teaching kids how to manage themselves in the event of a crisis. These Gothamites are pretty hardy, but a little extra training never hurt anybody! And he suspects one of his students might be a teen vigilante, like he’d been, back in the day. As a senior super, it's Danny’s duty look out for him! Surely, this is the subtlest and most appropriate way to give the kid pointers.]

[Tim immediately assumes supervillain.]

#Danny can’t help being creepy it’s just the way he’s built!!#I like to think Lancer did these things for Danny when he was in HS #and now Danny's emulating Lancer :)#Passing it on!#Tim is paranoid but also like he is SO CLOSE to graduating so like. Does he even want to report this shit to Batman. What if the next chem #teacher's a jerk and Tim fails the class and he never gets his stupid diploma. Bruce already is insisting he finish out HS and maybe get #an ABA before he's allowed back into the company #and Jesus Christ does Tim hate school. He'll worry about Mr. Fenton's burgeoning army of Science Honor Society Rogues on his own time #dcxdp #dpxdc #prompt #tim drake #danny fenton #in case I write more of this let’s tag it uhhhhh #misunderstood mentor au #kipwrite

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dirtgrubber · 1 month

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they’re so silly

#radioapple #alastor #lucifer #hazbin hotel #duckiedeer #my art #more drunk radioapple cause i need serotonin #couldn’t even think of a proper joke #also i can’t get a grasp on lucifers stupid hair (affectionate)

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foldingfittedsheets · 4 months

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I worked retail for a long time and people really do treat you like shit sometimes. But between selling sex toys, mattresses, and jewelry I can say definitively I got treated worst selling mattresses.

All three of my jobs were in sales but selling sex toys we were allowed to put people in their place, and in jewelry people didn’t want to misbehave in a fancy setting. But people at the mattress store had no problem yelling at me, hitting on me, or insulting me to my face.

For a while I was managing my own store for the company. I ran a small location and had struggling employees placed with me for rehabilitation. If their numbers improved they could go back to bigger stores. If not, they got fired.

So this meant I was the manager of problem employees. At one point both of my people had a foot out the door. The company was going downhill and changed computer systems and they were fed up. Consequently, they made a ton of mistakes, because they just didn’t care about the job or learning the new systems.

I strolled into work on what was essentially my Monday to a shit show. Deliveries scheduled without product, wrong things on orders, poor expectations of the process, you name it. I spent the entire morning getting yelled at for mistakes that weren’t mine.

The final straw came when a man called furious that his moms bed for her nursing home had a delivery window he couldn’t accommodate. This wasn’t a huge disaster since we still had time to deliver it before she moved. I ran him through the options and he just kept screaming at me. Not for a solution but because I was there and he was frustrated.

My heart filled with malice and a cold fury. A calculating part of my brain had a realization in that moment that I could stay a punching bag or I could strike back.

I quavered my voice delicately, taking in a shaky, warbling breath like I was trying not to cry. “Sir,” I quivered through fake tears, “I don’t know what you want from me! I told you what I can do, I didn’t make this mistake I’m just trying to fix it!” My voice broke pitifully on the last syllables, sounding in all ways like a sweet innocent person being yelled at who’s just trying her best, really!

It was like I’d doused him with cold water. My emotional act was the realization that he was screaming at someone who was just doing their damn job, and he was being an asshole. He hastily made an excuse and hung up.

I had a third employee covering with me from another store that day who heard everything. When I hung up, I looked over to see them watching me with an awed expression. “Did… did you just pretend to cry?”

“I absolutely fucking did,” I said with feeling, “and I’d do it a thousand more times. If that’s what it takes for someone to realize they’re behaving like a fucking prick, they deserve it.” The employee looked at me like I was their hero.

The man called back, apologizing profusely, having magically arranged his schedule to accommodate delivery. He came in later that week with an apology Starbucks gift card. I was gracious in my acceptance.

I pulled it a few more times before leaving the company. I felt no shame in the ruse. If someone behaves so poorly that it’s plausible their behavior would drive someone to tears they deserve to feel absolutely wretched about it.

#ramblies #ffs foibles #story #retail #retail hell #I have had people over the years had qualms with the ruse #one person even told me it was so unprofessional #that I’d pretend to be in more distress was not nice of me. but getting yelled at is not nice and I’m in a position where I can’t yell back #and who would they complain to that I cried? would they go to corporate and say how unprofessional the lady cried when I screamed at her!

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subterra-rose · 4 months

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Nothing’s worse than when you’re talking to someone about character nuances and they refuse to take their shipping goggles off bc I said “oh yeah I think these two could have a really interesting dynamic if it was explored” and they went “well I ship this character with someone else so…” like bro I said they could have a compelling relationship, not that I wanted them to fuck nasty style

#texting my patience #edit: if you take this as me being anti-fuck nasty… you don’t even know me…#you don’t even know how pro-fuck nasty I am and yet #it’s annoying to be talking about something and have someone shut the convo down because they can’t handle other possible dynamics

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noodles-and-tea · 2 months

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Back at it with my enchanted merthur shenanigans

#when Merlin goes to work #(I am undecided on what he does but I think he does have a job (probably a librarian I’d that’s not TOO cliche…))#he sets Arthur up with a bunch of history books and documentaries to try get him up to date (as much as he can)#and in the evenings they watch all Merlin’s favourite tv shows and movies #I can’t pick what kinds of movies Merlin and Arthur like #I get the feeling they both like pride and prejudice but I’m also biased #I think Arthur would like murder mysteries #ALSO If anyone’s got any fics where Merlin introduces Arthur to modern society please please PLEASE GIVE THEM TO ME #my art #bbc merlin #merlin #merlin emrys #arthur pendragon #merthur

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alleesaur · 3 months

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palette

#digital art #side order #splatoon 3 #splatoon #fan art #quick thing for the dlc release!! very spur of the moment #riding the hype wave even tho i can’t play atm

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mylittleredgirl · 2 years

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the thing about cracking open a long-established popular ship tag on ao3 is that it allows you to be extraordinarily picky, and i think it must be the closest thing i will ever experience to being filthy rich. i scroll along at super speed like no today i am only interested in fics with this precise range of words and one of these three tags. only authors i’ve heard of, please. hmm, i suppose i could consider an unknown quantity given its apparent popularity with the people, but… no, no, this summary doesn’t do it for me. no particular reason, it’s just… eh, i don’t need to explain myself. bring me 50 more like this for me to choose from and we’ll see.

#the modern day evolution of the dicks doth touch bard is a harried personal shopper #on fanfic #anyway i’m like 20 pages deep into the sam/jack tag by kudos and continuing to live my best life #i can’t even imagine how picky some of y’all get to be #ao3

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