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#Tim is paranoid but also like he is SO CLOSE to graduating so like. Does he even want to report this shit to Batman. What if the next chem
ikiprian · 2 months
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Mr. Fenton is a competent teacher. Almost too competent.
If Mr. Daniel Fenton had any more than a BS (with a minor in education), Tim would’ve flagged his profile as a potential Rogue. That’s the way of most charismatic academics, at least in Gotham. (Got a PhD? Instant watchlist.) Instead, he’s Gotham Academy’s newest celebrity, as a young, passionate, out-of-towner substitute while the chemistry teacher’s on maternity leave.
Tim gets the hype. Fenton seems to genuinely love teaching, and is invested in the welfare of the student body. He hands out bananas during exam week, hosts a “study habits seminar” each month to coach effective learning strategies, and the third time Tim falls asleep in his class, he even pulls Tim aside to ask if he’s doing okay. With all the late work he accepts and the protein bars he sneaks Tim, he’s every teen vigilante’s dream teacher. He could’ve been Tim’s favorite.
In fact, Mr. Fenton was Tim’s favorite. Up until Tim walks into Mr. Fenton’s chemistry classroom for a forgotten textbook, an hour after the final bell.
On the board where tallied scores for today’s review game had been kept, “THE CHEMISTRY BEHIND DR. CRANE’S FEAR GAS: ANXIOGENICS, NERI’S, & YOU,” is now scrawled. A detailed diagram of the human endocrine system projects in front of a small crowd of adoring and attentive students.
Fenton is wrist-deep in the skull cavity of an anatomical model. A short tug, and out pops the brain.
It’s plastic. It’s fake.
Tim identifies the nearest emergency exit.
Fenton turns to the door, and in the dark classroom with the projector illuminating half his face, his eyes almost seem to flash red. “What’s up, Tim?” he asks. His friendly grin is too big for his face. “I didn’t know you wanted to join the Just Science League!”
[OR: Danny’s a science teacher at Tim’s school. Gotham’s a pretty wild place, even for someone who grew up a superhero in a ghost-infested town, so he takes it upon himself to start a club teaching kids how to manage themselves in the event of a crisis. These Gothamites are pretty hardy, but a little extra training never hurt anybody! And he suspects one of his students might be a teen vigilante, like he’d been, back in the day. As a senior super, it's Danny’s duty look out for him! Surely, this is the subtlest and most appropriate way to give the kid pointers.]
[Tim immediately assumes supervillain.]
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tmararepairs · 4 years
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Claimed, thank you!
Pinch hit #1
Deadline is February 13. If you can fill in for this, please send an ask and include your ao3 username!
All requests are for fic. Details under cut. Ships include: Eric Delano/Mary Keay, Georgie Barker/Alex Brooke, Georgie Barker/Karolina Górka, Georgie Barker & Jonathan Sims, Georgie Barker/Jonathan Sims, Gerard Keay & Gertrude Robinson, Gerard Keay & Jonathan Sims, Jonathan Sims & Alice "Daisy" Tonner, Martin Blackwood/Gerard Keay/Jonathan Sims, Martin Blackwood/Gerard Keay/Jonathan Sims/Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood/Sasha James/Jonathan Sims/Tim Stoker, Martin Blackwood/The Vast
Request 1 by Rozzlynn Eric Delano/Mary Keay (Fic) Summary A closer look at their relationship would be interesting! How did Eric reconcile the sort of worldview that let him judge Gertrude for 'ruining lives' with his love for Mary even knowing she was a murderer? How did his love of ghosts and danger play out in his job and their marriage? How useful was he to her, before she decided to get rid of him? Did he have any qualms about the way Mary was raising Gerry those couple of years when he was trying to quit so he could be there for his son? Could go for something set during canon, or a divergence where he survives for longer somehow? (Doing something that convinced Mary he was worth keeping once he was blind? Doubting her and breaking up over Gerry's future, with Mary's part in those events shown? Third party interference triggering a different path, e.g. someone targeting the Archivist's assistants, and Mary stepping in for Eric's sake, with butterfly effect consequences?) Creepy pregnancy fic? A second child?
DNW: - Pure PWP (though explicit content is welcome in fics that also show their lives outside of sex). - Eric committing sexual violence. (On the other hand, if you have a plotbunny that involves Mary being awful to Eric as part of their relationship deteriorating, feel free to go with that. But don't feel that you have to write violence between them, of any sort.) - A sole focus on book-ghost Eric, since by then the 'real' him is dead and he doesn't feel quite how he did while alive, and the show's covered his state of mind at that point. - Child!Gerry dying or suffering beyond-canon-typical abuse. - Noncanonical side ships coming up. (To err on the side of caution.) - Waterworks/scat.
Request 2 by Rozzlynn Georgie Barker/Alex Brooke, Georgie Barker/Karolina Górka (Fic) Summary What sort of chemistry did Georgie have with Alex? What sort could she have with Karolina? Something about fairly fearless and practical girls sticking together. Prompt ideas:
- Alex comes back as an end avatar. Georgie, with her emotions still not really working, but no fear in the mix, and some lingering love still present, has a hard time figuring out how to react. (Tries to work out what happened to Alex? Tries to rekindle whatever she thinks she ought to feel? Finds out Alex is taking victims, and destroys her to save others, leaving her emotions all the more a mess? Could be before she met Jon, or something she hides from him while they're friends or dating, or Jon is really creeped out and worried by all this - maybe Alex almost kills him.)
- Entity swap alternate encounter for Georgie and Alex at uni - something where Georgie still comes out fearless, but things play out differently for them?
- Karolina seems extremely unflappable, showing no fear even in the statement nightmares when she's crushed to death. And yet the fears still have more of a foothold with her, since she's not as wholly immune to dream violence as Georgie. Something where they meet, and are both interested to see how someone else is dealing practically with the horrors of the world they live in? With Georgie relieved that, hey, here's someone who won't imply she's stupid for not fearing danger. And trying to help Karolina find even more genuine equilibrium, if she figures out that she's still struggling on some level - a heavily repressed fear response buried under fatalistic acceptance? Is she too fatalistic to fully enjoy life, her feelings choked by the pressure that has her still shedding dust everywhere? Does Georgie manage to help?
- Possible Georgie/Melanie/Karolina, if Melanie's already in the picture, maybe trying to bring up things learned from therapy.
- Sensory play, to help process things, with plot- and characterisation-relevant discussion of the results.
- (For dark humour, could add Georgie and Karolina falling asleep together, and both of them being in an 'oh fuck off, Jon' mood when they see him in their nightmares a few minutes later. Not that they can talk in the dreamscape, but, y'know. Mood.)
DNWs - Georgie dying, or still feeling fear. (Not counting something partially set before her encounter, so long as she's fearless afterwards.) - Melanie getting excluded from anything around the time she'd be there in canon. - Noncanonical side ships coming up (besides passing mentions of prior partners). - Apocalypse - Noncon (though dubcon from the extreme difficulty any of them might have processing feelings would be ok, so long as they work with each other when they actually piece things together). - PWP - Waterworks/scat.
Request 3 by Rozzlynn Georgie Barker & Jonathan Sims, Georgie Barker/Jonathan Sims (Fic) Summary I'd be really interested in something from their uni days! Building on what Georgie's said about that time: "I numbly got myself some water, and ignored my weeping mother. She tried to hug me, but her arms just slid off my limp shoulders. And that was my life for several months. Eventually, the memory began to fade, and I started to feel again. I took the year out of university under the umbrella of ‘medical reasons’, and by the time I met you I was, well, I don’t think I’ll ever be the same person I was before, but I had started being able to actually live again."
Given that Georgie was only starting to be able to feel things again (minus fear), and Jon seems to have always been an emotional wreck to some degree even when he tried to come across as functional, and uni's a place where young people tend to have some ups and downs adapting to adult life for the first time even if they're not dealing with supernatural trauma... well, that must have been a weird time for them, right?
- Jon being bad at dealing with anything on an emotional level, still getting used to not living with his grandmother, trying to keep up academically, exaggerating his accent, getting carried away with things he dives into with his problems with moderation, but maybe still having trouble focusing on the sort of work that requires him to 'read the same book twice'.
- Georgie having enough trouble processing her own emotions that she doesn't register as an issue things that she'd criticise Jon for by the time she's gotten to where she is in canon.
- Both of them going through the motions a bit, with 'functional adult' life things as well as relationship things. The presence of another person encouraging them to somewhat keep up healthy habits like food, rest, study breaks and keeping deadlines, even when they'd feel a bit dissociated on their own? And/or one of them going off the rails in a 'students making bad life choices' way, and getting some solidarity from the other (sure, let's stay up three days in a row to study, then build a marshmallow fort just because we can and fall asleep in it and wake up with sticky hair').
- Experimenting with sex/kink? Any shade of ace for Jon; if sex-repulsed then figuring out what other kinds of intimacy they'd enjoy, if sex-indifferent or -positive then figuring out how much they feel from that kind of activity (and from nonsexual stuff too, cause why not)? (I'm not looking for PWP, but would be interested in stuff with awkwardness, character/relationship development, humour - including any plotbunnies where they give up on experimentation that's not working out and have a laugh about it.)
- Either or both of them getting triggered by a reminder of their supernatural encounters, and trying to cope without actually explaining what happened. The sound of knocking at a bad time bringing up memories of Mr Spider? A friend watching a crime show with corpses on screen that act as a reminder of things that are still unpleasant to recall even if they don't incite fear? Georgie missing Alex and needing some space? Jon's survivor's guilt flaring up and making him a bit paranoid for Georgie's safety, trying to subtly check friends' bookshelves for Leitners when they visit (and not being subtle, so just coming across as really weird)?
- Going on a trip during the holidays or after graduation? Georgie learning how prone Jon is to wandering off and getting lost? A restaurant meal where Jon sees a spider and has to kill it, even if it means getting too close to another table / the kitchens / the ceiling? Georgie getting annoyed at rude posh people and wistfully thinking that Alex would have confronted them (and possibly punched them), and maybe feeling pleased when Jon questions them over something a bit pedantic until they want to punch him?
- Breaking up when Georgie's recovered to the point where she's getting more functional than in her first few years after the End incident, and seeing more of a problem with Jon's behaviour? And Jon seeing that as things ending really badly because it feels like she's gotten to know him and decided he's not good enough, even over things that she didn't used to mind?
DNWs - Self-hate over asexuality as an orientation. (Worries about compatibility are fine, and they could get upset over activities going badly, so long as heavy acephobia isn't involved; if he doesn't blame his orientation any more than he blames hers. Or they could both be biromantic ace, with no reason to blame that for their problems.) - AU where they didn't break up, or where they got back together. In other words, keep them exes for the parts of the timeline where that's canon. (But the fill could be set entirely before the breakup.) - Noncanonical side ships coming up (besides passing mentions of prior partners). - PWP (I like plotfic, with or without explicit content) - Noncon/waterworks/scat
Request 4 by Rozzlynn Gerard Keay & Gertrude Robinson, Gerard Keay & Jonathan Sims (Fic) Summary Some Gerry lives fic? With some of the same prompts as the Gerry ships request, if you feel like using them as a setup for platonic bonding rather than a shippy polypile:
- Gerry helping with Gertrude's plan to kill Jonah and destroy the Institute, which succeeds this time, and maybe meeting & bringing in some of the others while they're still working in Research / Artefact Storage / the Library. (Since non-Archive staff can quit without blinding themselves, fair to assume they're not tied closely enough to Jonah to die if he dies? So only Gertrude has to worry about that part. Maybe Gerry helps her to the hospital?)
- Gerry finding out that Gertrude is part-desolation (she mentions burning inside, and her ritual circle mitigating the worst effects - can she light a cigarette with her bare hands?), and/or finding out she's working with Leitner too. Possibly precipitated by a spooky attack that they deal with together?
- Gerry being alive and meeting Jon, giving him more info/warning about Beholding at some point in the timeline. (Early enough that Jon tries to turn down the Archivist position and warn off the others too? Gerry knows that Jonah killed Gertrude and tries to enlist some help in taking him down? Early s1 Jon gets warned off live statements by a Gerry who learned why Gertrude usually avoided them, and they try to protect themselves and the archive assistants from Jonah's attempts to organise attacks on the Institute to traumatise Jon with every entity?)
DNWs: - Completely mundane AUs. - Character death or full monsterhood for Gerry, Jon, or Jon's assistants (canon's got that covered in many ways and I'd like to see their living potential explored). - Apocalypse - Shippy Gerry/Gertrude or Gerry/Jon (except Gerry and Jon in a polypile, but that's in another request, see below). - Other noncanonical ships, in general. (Platonic focus preferred for this one, but if, e.g., Basira/Daisy or Georgie/Melanie somehow comes up, ok to mention that that still happens.) - Noncon/waterworks/scat.
Request 5 by Rozzlynn Jonathan Sims & Alice "Daisy" Tonner (Fic) Summary Something exploring their friendship post-coffin? They seem to end up getting each other's mistakes without condoning them, understanding how much of it was supernatural coercion, trauma response, and their own flaws, and sharing a very dry, dark sense of humour. They've seen some interesting sides of each other, and moved past the attempted murder and supernaturally inflicted trauma nightmares even though both must've been pretty awful at the time. Neither of them have many other friends who could get exactly how badly messed up their lives are and stick with them, besides those who are actively unrepentantly evil like Helen (and whatever mix of denial and turning a blind eye Basira's approach was, and Martin who wanted Jon to do better but refused to get directly involved during his own crisis).
- Jon and Daisy supporting each other's attempts to stay relatively human? Discussing the past, and the others? Daisy keeping an eye on Jon while Basira and Rosie are dealing with the people who come to the Institute to give written statements - the sort of thing that led Jon to tell Martin that their intervention was exactly what he needed?
- S4 canon divergence, with one of the finale episodes taking a different turn?
- Jon and Daisy managing to do something positive for the others (Basira, Melanie, Martin)?
- Passing mention of the 'normal' institute staff being creeped out by running into Jon and Daisy (both of them looking dangerous and half dead, with rumours about murders and disappearances still following them around). Daisy coping better than Jon with this. Basira effectively being the archivist everyone deals with if they can help it. (Melanie's not quite as scary as she used to be, but she's barely around... Who'd have thought Martin would end up siding with the evil new boss...?) Though if you go with this prompt, at least part of the fic from Daisy or Jon's pov preferred, rather than entirely outsider pov.
- Melanie trying to pass on therapeutic advice and activities (based on whatever mundane version of events she told her therapist about them); Daisy and Jon trying to listen, not necessarily liking all of it, and putting some of the activites into practice bc they need to keep busy (maybe not necessarily lasting long before making a dark joke of it, maybe finding it helpful anyway).
DNWs - Feral!Daisy within the fill, unless she manages to come around without permanently reverting to the Hunt or going on a killing spree against innocents in the meantime or anything. - Jon taking statements within the fill (except from other monsters if they bring on a crisis, like with Peter). - Apocalypse. - Shippy Jon/Daisy, except in a Basira/Daisy/Jon/Martin polypile where some of them share and/or are friends with benefits. - Other noncanonical ships coming up. - PWP - Noncon/waterworks/scat.
Request 6 by Rozzlynn Martin Blackwood/Gerard Keay/Jonathan SimsMartin Blackwood/Gerard Keay/Jonathan Sims/Tim Stoker (Fic) Summary Have fun with an AU that gives them a chance to shine? Divergences from the canon while Gerry was around, or alternate settings, so they can be alive together. Prompt ideas:
- Gerry helping Tim after Danny's death, or meeting Danny in time to avert it.
- Gerry telling Jon more about Gertrude and the supernatural than he had the chance to in canon, and helping his statement addiction stabilise at around the same level as Gertrude's, questioning any impulsive use of compelling so that Jon thinks it through and gets stricter with himself (especially with Martin and Tim's input), trying out protective measures to mitigate the statement nightmares for everyone involved (since with the tattoos and everything he learned working with Mary and Gertrude, Gerry seems to know a thing or two about channeling and hiding from the eye, using supernatural powers without losing himself).
- Jon still finding Eric's tape eventually, and Gerry hearing about his dad's life that way, while the others deal with the knowledge of how to quit.
- Exploring the tunnels and Jon meeting Leitner under different circumstances, Gerry finding out 'wait that really was him?' and Leitner still being scared after he beat him up that time, Martin trying to stop another fight, Tim wanting to find out more about Smirke from Leitner.
- Gerry meeting the others while they're still working in the Research & Library departments; they all help with Gertrude's plan to kill Jonah and destroy the Institute, and make enough of a difference that it succeeds. (Since non-Archive staff can quit without blinding themselves, fair to assume they're not tied closely enough to Jonah to die if he dies? So only Gertrude has to worry about that part. Could include Sasha helping as a friend, and Basira and Daisy lending police support? Maybe after Gertrude quits, the next Archivist that Beholding picks is someone at the sister organisation in China or America, and Gertrude gives them some advice.)
- Alternate careers with section 31 equivalents. E.g. Jon as a surgeon (his grandma made him study medicine) with an eye for dealing with supernatural injuries? Tim got into architecture or the occult side of publishing, or became a cop? Martin got into something really random from applying to absolutely everything with a fake cv - maybe working several jobs / nightshifts and giving a statement after running into spooky trouble? Or working at the occult store with Jane and Oliver, and meeting Gerry while he worked at the bookshop? (How much more exasperated would Martin have been if he knew Jane before she went wormy and she still besieged his flat? Maybe Gerry helped, and Jon worked for the ECDC?)
- Mixed feelings over the holidays, since they all have/had difficult family situations. Learning to look after each other (Martin feeling appreciated for his efforts to take care of his loved ones, Tim feeling supported, Jon feeling that he can protect them all and there's no crisis to jump at or information he's missing, Gerry feeling understood by people who know about the supernatural and want to build a life free of the worst of it alongside him). Holiday preparations with their friends - Sasha, Georgie, Melanie, The Admiral. Jon's tendency to need mental stimulus and to get carried away manifests as ridiculously overdoing something like gift shopping, cooking attempts, or planning a trip (and still overlooking things he should've foreseen - so it's a good thing problem solving is a team effort).
DNWs: - Completely mundane AUs. - Other noncanonical ships coming up. (Unless you want to include Sasha in a plot where she lives, joining the main polypile, or a triad with Melanie and Georgie. Mentions of oc previous partners are also ok.) - Self-hate over asexuality as an orientation. (Worries about compatibility are fine, so long as heavy acephobia isn't involved; if Jon doesn't blame his orientation any more than he blames anyone else's. Any shade of ace is ok.) - Character death within the ship. (Not keen on book!Gerry for this, as he didn't want to exist that way for long.) - Anyone in the ship going unrepentantly evil as a full monster. - Apocalypse - Noncon within the ship. (If you want to include an element of hurt/comfort over any of them having previously suffered bad things outside of this ship, then feel free.) - PWP - Waterworks/scat.
Request 7 by Rozzlynn Martin Blackwood/Sasha James/Jonathan Sims/Tim Stoker (Fic) Summary Have fun with an AU that gives them a chance to shine? Divergences from the canon while Sasha was around, or alternate settings, so they can be alive together. Prompt ideas:
- Sasha meeting the others during a misadventure in Artefact Storage (while Jon and Tim worked in research and Martin worked in the library).
- Sasha finding out how Gertrude really lived in time to help with her retirement plan, getting the others involved one way or another. They kill Jonah and make plans for what to do after the Institute's destroyed, counting their blessings that they never worked in the Archive.
- During the chaos and panic of Prentiss' attack, Sasha accidentally knocked Elias into the tidal wave of worms before she made it to the fire suppression system and saved the others. (Jonah's body in the panopticon is alive and kinda stuck there, so they all live). They're upset about losing the head of the institute... until they listen to Gertrude's tapes and learn what's really going on. Jon tells the others how much he's becoming like Gertrude (nightmares, compulsion), and when they know everything the audience knows as of current canon, he quits with the others' support to stay human.
- Hurt/comfort over near-death experiences
- Going on a long holiday together after it's all over. Sasha and Jon picking museums to visit, Jon and Martin lingering in bookshop cafes, Martin and Tim picking scenic outdoor routes to visit, and Tim trying to get the others involved in sporty outdoor activities (too bad they're all nerds, but they give things a go, mostly).
- Alternate careers with section 31 equivalents.
- Mixed feelings over the holidays, since they all have/had difficult family situations, assuming Sasha fits Jonah's trend of hiring people without many attachments. Learning to look after each other (Martin feeling appreciated for his efforts to take care of his loved ones, Tim feeling supported, Jon feeling that he can protect them all and there's no crisis to jump at or information he's missing, Sasha feeling intellectually fulfilled with nothing left to truly fear). Jon's tendency to need mental stimulus and to get carried away manifests as ridiculously overdoing something like gift shopping, cooking attempts, or planning a trip (and still overlooking things he should've foreseen - so it's a good thing problem solving is a team effort).
- Sasha and gay!Martin bonding platonically in a polypile, finding it's a relief to be able to talk to each other without the particular kinds of pressure that come with their romantic relationships with Jon and Tim, to the extent that the ship feels all the more like found family for each of them thanks to the other's inclusion.
DNWs: - Completely mundane AUs. - Other noncanonical ships coming up (besides mentions of oc previous partners). - Self-hate over asexuality as an orientation. (Worries about compatibility are fine, so long as heavy acephobia isn't involved; if Jon doesn't blame his orientation any more than he blames anyone else's. Any shade of ace is ok.) - Character death within the ship. (I've had my fill of 'the others mourn Sasha' for now.) - Anyone in the ship going unrepentantly evil as a full monster. - Apocalypse - Noncon within the ship. (If you want to include an element of hurt/comfort over any of them having previously suffered bad things outside of this ship, then feel free.) - PWP - Waterworks/scat.
Request 8 by Rozzlynn Martin Blackwood/The Vast (Fic) Summary Okay, so Martin canonically: - is claustrophobic - had many bad times besieged in buildings and lost in tunnels and corridors - wrote poetry about wandering the countryside like a cloud - is bitter about never having had the chance to travel - is a bit conflict avoidant, and ended up feeling so trapped by a terrible situation that he found some relief in isolating himself (didn't miss the shouting, couldn't bring himself to want to deal with his problems anymore), even while he was suicidally depressed over it all.
What if the Vast got ahold of him? Prompts for various bits of a possible timeline:
- In s3, Martin insists on accompanying Jon on his research trip abroad, to help with the work and to look after him. (Nobody can deny that Jon needs looking after, by that point, and Martin is his assistant.) They have an encounter with the Vast in a plane, or on the road through China or America's wide open spaces. Though they survive, Martin's infected in a way that builds over time, like with Melanie and the Slaughter.
- When they're back in London with the plan for the Unknowing organised, Martin persuades Jon to use the Archives budget for a corporate team building day in the countryside, to try to address the interpersonal issues between the staff. The event goes a bit strange.
- After the Unknowing and the Flesh attack, when Martin stops expecting Jon to wake up and says goodbye, maybe he nopes out and flees into the Vast, aware that it's been stalking at his heels? (Intending to lose himself there forever, not become an avatar who hurts others.) - Maybe, months later, he runs into Simon Fairchild while falling through the sky, and hears news about the Institute. When he hears that Jon's awake, that he's still got something tethering him to the world, he drops out of the Vast. - In his absence, Peter made a deal with Basira? (She already thought she couldn't trust anyone but herself. Peter figured she was lonely enough, and had to find the Extinction research to convince her to work with him.)
- Or Martin still makes the deal during Jon's coma, but Peter adapts his approach, sensing the Vast's influence. Either he thinks it'll help draw Martin to the idea of seeing everything via the panopticon, or he worries it'll put him off staying underground there, no matter how unlimited his vision may be as a result. So he either encourages Martin to isolate himself in a Vast-aligned way (research trips out in desolate places, with enough Institute paperwork to avoid withdrawal), or tries to train it out of him (confining him to the building, trying to instill agoraphobia). - At the office, Martin opens the windows even in awful weather, works on the rooftop on his phone or tablet, gets distracted by the sky, etc.
- Things reach a crisis point one way or another, and Jon follows Martin into his space within the Vast. (With different avatars having different powers, and several places falling within each entity, like Forsaken having the graveyard, ocean, beach, suburbs, etc... Maybe Martin's Vast niche is a cloudy sky far above a beautiful green landscape that never gets any closer, evoking an overwhelming mixture of grief and relief that everything below is out of reach; beautiful from a distance, but closing the distance would be too painful to consider.) Jon still tries to talk him out of it, unwilling to leave without him. Either they both leave, or neither of them do? - If Peter doesn't manage to send Martin to the Lonely & tempt Jon in after him, Jonah gets frustrated over the bet being useless. (Mike Crew's already covered the Vast, why couldn't Peter do his job properly??)
DNWs - Peter/Martin, Simon/Martin. In general, Martin being genuinely ok with anyone he knows is an unreformed mass murderer. (If the prompts give you a whump idea that leans on assault by one of them as an extra factor in his depression, making the Vast a relative sanctuary of gentle fear, then go ahead with the noncon, but don't go out of your way to include it otherwise.) - Jonah ships. - Martin knowingly & willingly killing a victim. (Fighting another avatar in self defence would be ok. The Vast maliciously messing with his perceptions and reflexes so he's not actually sure what he's done while badly dissociated could work, if a plotbunny needs something like that.) - Martin or Jon dying more unambiguously than being Vast-stranded indefinitely (as the upper limit for a worst case scenario). - PWP. (Though that seems unlikely here, as any smut between Martin and an entity would need a plot to establish even what and how. And honestly, I can't say I'm keen to read about Martin jerking off in midair. So, uh, don't reach for explicit content unless you've got a plotbunny that involves it in an emotional arc?) - Heavy internalised acephobia. - Waterworks/scat.
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jess-oh · 5 years
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Reflection 22.4.19
hey journal, ive been starting to think about my life in catalyst and whether or not i would want to stay if that ministry continues in the state it's in. because jason is right. they do expect to be fed and the current leaders seem more bitter than anything else that more people arent willing to step up and just see it as a burden. and im sure it must be hard, bc there's no set pastor for the young adults and it's up to them to figure things out. at least in movement we have pjosh as the main head but they dont really have anyone. sure pjosh and psam are there but they manage their own separate ministries. catalyst is a place where they should be able to relax and just be present and not worry about managing it. and i get that, thats totally fine. i dont think having a pastor come in and take the burden of the whole ministry will solve/fix everything. it really has to come from a place of willingness.i kind of want to start doing some digging and see how Koinonia functions without a "head" pastor for that specific life stage. Or maybe it just falls on Pastor William's plate! And if so, maybe having a head pastor to make the final calls would drastically help Catalyst. I am going home in part to do some research on how Sa-Rang functions as a church like in Holy Wave and seeing what I can see what they do right and wrong and what knowledge I can bring back to Lakeview to help them grow and how to fix them. On the one hand, I don't want to leave because it is safe and comfortable at Lakeview and I know it well. I really enjoy the people in Kidsland and Koinonia and Movement too. And even Catalyst. But I don't know if I want to enter a ministry where I feel like I have to give and give so much and just get so burnt out in the end again. They definitely need a culture shift and a group of individuals that genuinely value loving Christ more than just doing things because it's easy or convenient. Maybe I'll just serve in Kidsland and spend all my time there and with Koinonia instead. I do really enjoy hanging out with the parents and I think they have a lot of wisdom to share. I really enjoy just casually talking with Julie, Ed, PDubs, Jenny, Mike, Sung, even Lois, and the other adults too. And Lois, Jenny, and Julie have been sosososo more than willing to selflessly allow me to stay in their house. And I know they're adults and have a more stable income and there are a lot of other factors at play here. But it's the heart that really counts and matters. I know that my mom is paying for my rent right now. But if any of the Movement people ever needed a place to stay, I would be more than happy to allow them to sleep in my apartment. Really. But I know most of them wouldn't want to travel that far anyway so it doesn't really matter but that heart is there. They can eat my food and enter my home and use my gas and electricity to do whatever. And I also get that I just generally enjoy hosting too so it's different but the heart is there. It doesn't matter that I don't have a stable income or career yet. I genuinely care for my peers and because I do, I'm willing to let them stay in my place. And that heart is lacking in Catalyst. Sometimes I think they'll say, "I would let you do this or do this for you but..." There's always a but. But why? They aren't willing to give. And I know I shouldn't be so quick and harsh to judge but it's true, isn't it? I want to enter a community where I feel like I can rest and don't have to try so hard or worry about anything. And plus, sidenote, it's weird that the life groups leaders arent considered the leaders for Catalyst! They're separate entities! What do the life group leaders handle verses the general leaders then? Is it on Tim, Jeff, and Elsa to think of all the events and organize/plan everything? Why is that not also the responsibility of the life group leaders? Why can't they co-exist? And also, I feel like Elsa is kind of looked down upon and treated like an outsider bc I know Tim and Jeff are close. I'm pretty sure they both went to UChicago, met in Movement, and have been friends for a long while whereas Elsa came as a newcomer as an adult much later. And maybe I'm just being paranoid on behalf of her because shes my friend but at least what I've observed, it does seem like that. I see her as an equal and I think she sees me that way too. And I'm happy to have a friend I can be present and honest with like her. We've talked about some pretty deep things and I'm happy we can. And I think she is intentional and does genuinely care. But, sigh, I don't know. Am I just being selfish in all of this? Because I don't want to serve anymore? Because I don't want to feel the pressure or the need to serve because if I don't, no one else will? I just want to come as a newcomer and take it as it is and not have to worry about making it better and fixing it and I also know I've already been fed myself a lot this past year and I'm currently trying to feed right now. I'm really grateful for the seniors for being willing to feed me but I feel like they've been my friends as well and while I'm sure I havent been nearly as helpless, I think I was able to feed them too. Not as well as I could have but I think I did. We both don't know a lot. There's a lot beyond what our lens can currently expand over. I just. I want to have guidance and be fed again and be given advice and have people to look towards and not like it's all on me to put in all the effort and bring up all of these ideas. And it's honestly just a burden. I want to be willing to put in the effort because I genuinely care for the people in the ministry and honestly, having people that are also grateful for that. And I know that serving is a thankless job and I shouldn't expect any praise or grace in return BUT, it is just my human nature talking i suppose.i just asked David if he's going to leave Lakeview once he graduates and I'm planning on asking Cecilia why she decided to leave Lakeview. And I'm sure other factors would be at play here and I know I still have a whole year to decide and a lot can change within the ministry in the span of a year too.  But I am curious. Because I am tired of serving and giving and maybe it's just burnt out me talking but at least with college, I have the opportunity to rest at the end of a school year and restart things at the beginning of the new term. And we no longer have that option in Catalyst. You just have to push through and be intentional yourself and be the one to keep each other accountable. In a way, it's like everyone is serving just to be a Christian. I just, sigh, ahhh, i dont know. I'm just frustrated at the state of the ministry I guess and the prospect of having to start all over again from square one intimidates me and it isn't something I want to do. God, I just honestly really want to ask for guidance from you. I feel so much more at home and comfortable with my InterCP friends and I feel bad because I'm barely even involved in the organization. I just contribute to the discussions every now and then and show up for our check ins on Wednesdays. I'm just really tired I guess and feeling burnt out. And I know that I've allowed Johnathan, Jason, and Amanda to really strongly influence me this past year and I don't want to be so overly dependent on them or anyone else anymore. And I know Amanda and Jason are planning on leaving and checking out other churches in part because of the current state that Catalyst is in. But come on, even PJosh isnt super on board with them! I think theres a lot happening in Movement right now and a lot of change for the better. We're getting to be much more grounded and are unveiling our identity that fits who we are and our culture. And I really like it. But Catalyst is still figuring that out. I was just cleaning the ceramic wheels and while I was, I was thinking more on this topic. I think Catalyst needs to get closer with Koinonia and learn from them and look to them for guidance. Because their identity is still blurry and until they can figure that out, it'll be tough for us to look to them for guidance when they themselves are still trying to figure it out. I think Movement is getting to place where we can be people that Zion looks up to and I think that will bridge the gap between the two ministries and become more encouraging for youth group students to enter Movement once they return home for college instead of just hanging around with the other youth students. Oh also, I've always wanted to ask Cecilia why she decided to leave and just assumed it was in large part because of work and the location of it but she said that it isnt just something she can answer in a couple sentences and is worth meeting in person to discuss. So I guess this was a very long though out decision and I am excited to hear what her response is next week! Also, I asked David too and he said that he would probs stay at Lakeview if he decided to stay in Chicago bc while he would want to go back to his home church where it's familiar bc he feels he can grow more at Lakeview. Which I respect. Good for you, David! I just had a lot of fun chatting with Joyce and David in the senior banquet group chat and I'm glad that I can be more present and intentional with them and just joke around. I definitely want to catch up and hangout with them in a one-on-one setting again. I think we have and we do just by serving together or being driven home or late nights at Norris or whatever. But scheduling the time to hangout is a bit different, I think. Anyway, thank you for listening to my vent and allowing me to word dump, journal. I'll talk to you soon! As always,
Jess
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ronnykblair · 6 years
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“Bad Blood” Book Review: Fooling Most of the People for a Long, Long Time
While I read Bad Blood, John Carreyrou’s detailed account of the rise and fall of Theranos, two thoughts immediately came to mind.
First, if North Korea ever launched a startup, Theranos would be it.
The company operated the same way Kim Jong Un does: non-functional products, “launches” that backfire, massive fraud, dead employees, and a creepy old guy who monitored employee email and Internet usage.
Second, this story is amazing. They need to make it into a movie.
Then I realized that they are making it into a movie starring Jennifer Lawrence, with Adam McKay from The Big Short set to direct.
After extensive research, I’ve determined that North Korea did not officially back the company, but I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that the Kim family invested via Rupert Murdoch or Betsy DeVos.
Bad Blood is my favorite non-fiction book of the past decade.
It’s so good that it almost seems like fiction – a John Grisham thriller, maybe.
It takes the best parts of history’s most famous downfall stories and injects even more intrigue by adding the one element those stories lacked: human life.
This book isn’t directly related to recruiting or working in the finance industry.
But there are so many valuable takeaways that are indirectly related that I decided to write this review anyway:
What is This Book About, and Why Should You Care?
In case you’ve been living in a cave in Antarctica for the past ~3 years, Theranos was a massively hyped “unicorn” healthcare startup that aimed to perform hundreds of blood tests from a single drop of blood pricked from your finger.
No more needles! No more vials of blood!
Just one small problem: it is impossible to do this.
Blood from your finger is different from the blood in your veins because it is partially oxygenated, it’s contaminated by interstitial fluid, and the volume is very low.
In plain English, there’s not enough data, so you can’t solve the problem with a medical device.
You can do a few simple tests, such as the one for glucose levels, with finger-pricked blood, but not the hundreds of complex tests out there.
Despite that, Theranos still managed to raise $900 million over the years at a peak valuation of $9 billion.
But after more than a decade of lying to investors, threatening employees, and using non-functional devices to diagnose patients, Theranos finally began to implode in 2015.
That’s when WSJ investigative reporter John Carreyrou received a tip about the company, began his deep dive into it, and finally published the article that sparked a firestorm.
After that, the company’s trajectory resembled that of a spaceship being sucked into a black hole.
Regulatory agencies banned Theranos from running a lab, Walgreens ended its partnership, the COO was forced out, investors and partners started suing the company, and the SEC charged the CEO and COO (Elizabeth Holmes and Ramesh “Sunny” Balwani) with massive fraud.
A criminal investigation is underway, and indictments are likely. Most likely, Theranos will soon be liquidated, and both the top executives will be in jail.
This story is a textbook example of how to do everything wrong at a startup.
And it’s a cautionary tale of what to avoid and how to detect deception if you’re an investor.
So… How Did a North Korean Startup Survive for Over a Decade?
Even if you’ve followed all the WSJ’s reporting on Theranos, you probably have one big question: How could such a fraudulent company last for so long?
Didn’t anyone notice that the Empress had no clothes before a reporter came along?
Bad Blood makes it clear that plenty of people were skeptical from the start.
The company never published peer-reviewed literature, its Board of Directors consisted of fossilized former diplomats who knew nothing about medicine, and it never attracted serious life science VC investors.
The original Ph.D. student who founded the company with Elizabeth Holmes thought her first idea was “science fiction,” and dozens of disgruntled employees quit along the way, convinced that the entire operation was a Potemkin village.
I can’t explain the company’s survival in one sentence, but here’s my summary:
Business Partners: Walgreens was paranoid that CVS would get the technology first, so they entered the partnership without proper due diligence. One skeptical consultant kept warning them, but he was silenced. This one goes in the FOMO (“fear of missing out”) bucket.
Investors: The company raised money mostly from family offices and VCs with no healthcare experience. And they pointed to early investors, such as Tim Draper and Larry Ellison, as evidence that “the smart money” was on board.
VCs with a track record in life sciences, such as Google Ventures and MedVenture Associates, passed when they realized the company couldn’t answer basic technical questions.
Employees: Pretty much all the employees figured out that the company was a fraud, which is why turnover was extremely high.
However, Theranos was super-secretive and used expensive lawyers and private investigators to threaten ex-employees who could have become whistleblowers.
Regulators: Theranos operated in “regulatory no man’s land” by labeling its diagnostics “lab-developed tests,” which are not regulated by the FDA.
Eventually, the regulators caught up to them and started conducting surprise lab inspections because of tips from anonymous ex-employees.
Patients: The company used its broken device(s) to test patients in Arizona and California, which later resulted in ~1 million voided tests.
Amazingly, they threatened doctors and patients who left bad Yelp reviews, but nothing could hide fraud on this scale.
These live deployments finally pushed it over the edge and alerted the broader population to the scam.
What I Loved
I’ve followed the Theranos story closely, but Bad Blood was great because it put together all the pieces in a logical order and gave them more emotional resonance.
The book conveys superbly the human tragedy, ranging from patients who received the wrong diagnoses to employee Ian Gibbons, the chief scientist who “committed suicide” under suspicious circumstances.
But what I loved most were the vividly drawn characters.
In particular, “Sunny” Balwani, the #2 at Theranos, seems like an amalgamation of every single horrible VP in investment banking.
Not only did he micromanage employees while knowing nothing about the product, but he also had the social skills of an autistic monkey.
When an employee quit and refused to sign a confidentiality agreement, Sunny sent a security guard after him, called the police, and then told the police the employee stole property.
When they asked what property was stolen, Sunny replied that the employee “stole property in his mind.”
Oh, and the whole time Sunny was at the company, he was also in a romantic relationship with CEO Elizabeth Holmes, who was ~20 years younger.
Award-winning corporate governance!
Areas for Improvement
That said, the book isn’t perfect.
There are a lot of characters to remember, and sometimes I lost track of who was doing what at which time.
The book moves in rough chronological order, but chapters tend to be thematic or character-based rather than time-based.
So, similar to TV shows like Westworld, the exact timeline can be a bit confusing (though the lack of robots makes it far less convoluted than Westworld).
Finally, the transition where John Carreyrou enters the story toward the end is a bit jarring, since the preceding chapters are written in the third person from the perspective of others.
Takeaways for the Finance Industry
Here’s what you can learn from this story even if you have no interest in startups, venture capital, or medical devices:
1) Story, Story, Story
Your story is everything. That’s why we focus on it heavily in the Interview Guide and the articles on this site.
A great story can sell anything, whether it’s a product or yourself in a job interview.
Elizabeth Holmes was a great storyteller who idolized Steve Jobs, and like Jobs, she could also sell anything.
But if the claims in your story can be disproven easily, your story will fall apart.
It’s not unusual for an early-stage biotech startup to make aggressive claims about its future products.
But what was unusual – and fraudulent – was to claim that the product was ready for real-life usage, when it clearly was not, and then to use it on patients.
This is why it’s a terrible idea to lie or even “spin” facts that can be easily disproven in interviews, such as your abilities in other languages, graduation dates, grades, employment dates, and job titles.
So many readers have gone too far with spinning that I’m going to rewrite the article on the topic later this year.
2) Healthcare != Technology
Many technology companies that launch apps, software, and even hardware adopt a “fake it ‘til you make it” attitude.
That’s fine for technology because no one dies if a smartphone app crashes.
And many students have famously dropped out of university and then started world-class technology companies… because you don’t need that much experience to get started.
Healthcare, though, is a different ball game.
Your product can’t “kind of work” unless you want to kill people.
And it’s almost impossible for 19-year-old university dropouts with no medical experience to start important healthcare companies.
If you’re trying to move into finance, you can use these industry differences to your advantage.
For example, if you have significant medical/biotech experience, you’re much stronger as a career changer candidate if you target healthcare groups at banks and VC firms.
They want people like you because no university graduate could understand those sectors as well as a Ph.D. or industry executive.
But if you want to get into the industry at the last minute, or you don’t have real work experience, it’s better to target sectors such as technology or consumer/retail where you can get up to speed quickly.
3) The Fallacy of Expertise Transferability
Many students at top universities believe that since they got into a top school, they are experts at everything – or at least, they could quickly become experts at anything.
The Board members and early investors of Theranos embraced similar logic:
“I’m the former Secretary of State/Defense or the founder of a multi-billion-dollar tech company. Therefore, I can also be a successful healthcare investor!”
Except… they’re completely different fields.
Facing down the Soviets in the Cold War is impressive, but it doesn’t make a 90-something former diplomat qualified to judge the merits of medical devices.
I outlined in a previous article how you can outwit and out-hustle Ivy League students to win job offers, and this point goes along with the advice there.
Yes, other candidates might have better credentials or higher GPAs…
…but will they take the time to learn the in’s and out’s of stock pitches, find contact information for hundreds of industry professionals, and then contact them in a socially calibrated way?
I’m not sure, but most “experts” would say it’s beneath them.
4) Focus on the Right Things for Your Development Stage – Not the Trappings of Power
As Theranos raised $900 million, Elizabeth Holmes spent much of the money on lawyers, new offices, a contingent of bodyguards, and yes, even bulletproof glass for her office (!).
She also put a ton of time and effort into distribution partnerships and sales.
For an early-stage technology company, it’s not necessarily wrong to focus on sales before your product is fully functional.
But for an early-stage healthcare company, nothing matters except for developing a working solution, passing clinical trials, and winning approval from regulators.
If your new device or vaccination or surgical method doesn’t work, partnerships won’t save you.
Consistently, companies focus on the wrong things and ignore the stage they’re at.
I even did the same thing back when I made the mistake of creating a $5,000 product for a $500 market.
In a way, I made the opposite mistake of Theranos: I had products that worked, and I wanted to make them even better to the point where no one noticed or cared.
But it was motivated by the same mistake: not understanding the stage I was at.
5) If “The End Goal” is Your Focus, Rethink Your Life!
When Holmes was young, a family member asked what she wanted to be when she grew up.
“A billionaire!” she replied.
That answer demonstrates why the fraud reached this level before collapsing: rather than trying different skills, becoming good at one, and then pursuing it, Holmes started with the end goal in mind.
And she stopped at nothing to pursue it, even if it meant lying to investors, threatening employees, and putting patients’ lives at risk.
Most entrepreneurs start working in a specific industry, get to know people, learn the key problems, and then launch new products/services.
Otherwise, it’s impossible to know what people will pay for and which solutions are feasible vs. science fiction.
Idolizing Steve Jobs and aiming to become a billionaire aren’t real goals; they’re aspirations of teenagers who do not yet know themselves.
As far as applicability to the finance industry, well, take a look at the comments thread on this article about finance as a long-term career.
Final Thoughts and Reality Distortion Fields
Both Steve Jobs and Elizabeth Holmes possessed “reality distortion fields” that let them recruit subordinates and convince investors, Board members, and the public of almost anything.
But Jobs also had a firm grasp on his own reality, and despite some exaggerations and problems, delivered products that worked.
By contrast, Holmes forgot to apply self-shielding, which let her reality distortion field twist her own perception of reality.
Aside from the upcoming indictment and trial, I don’t think we’ll be hearing much from her.
But if you want to find out more, the rumor is that she might head to North Korea.
Apparently, she’s an excellent fit.
The post “Bad Blood” Book Review: Fooling Most of the People for a Long, Long Time appeared first on Mergers & Inquisitions.
from ronnykblair digest https://www.mergersandinquisitions.com/bad-blood-book-review/
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