#I can defend a lot of people for a lot of things
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What are possible ways an autistic character can recover from a shutdown/meltdown. And how can other characters help them recover without possibly making it worse?
Meltdowns and shutdowns are a possible brain response to overload/overwhelm. That overload comes from not being able to handle stimuli, and that stimuli can be external (like sensory input) or internal (like with emotions), or a combination of both. They're kind of like a fight (meltdown) or freeze (shutdown) fear response.
How an autistic character recovers from a meltdown or shutdown can vary, because what sets people off is different, but also because the cause of the meltdown or shutdown also varies a lot.
For example, once I had a meltdown because there was a helicopter flying very close to my apartment for almost two hours. I was already tired, and the noise was loud and constant and completely out of my control. Ear defenders were not working well.
To help me during and after my meltdown, my boyfriend hugged me (because I enjoy physical touch, and especially if it's 'solid' it calms me down, got my weighted blanket for me, and talked to me only when I seemed to respond well. Then he made sure I drank water and got some rest.
These things helped because they generally are already calming to me: pressure, solid physical touch, and affection. But someone who doesn't like physical touch won't have that help them recover.
Universally, though, a meltdown or a shutdown is draining and does not feel good. It can feel a bit relieving, because usually once it's done you feel like you have less tension, but having it doesn't actually feel good – it often feels like completely losing control, and that feels awful. Things that make self-regulation harder, like being tired or frustrated, will make a meltdown a bit more likely, but they also make it harder to recover from one.
Which means that what helps people recover has a couple different elements:
One, that they are no longer in the same situation or environment that caused the shutdown/meltdown, as much as possible. This can mean physically leaving the space, or that a triggering sound is gone, or that a stressor is no longer active. Generally this is part of creating an environment that feels safe, which can often means a space with as little external stimuli as possible at least for the time being. (So quiet, sometimes dark, without asking for a lot.)
Two, that they are doing something that helps them rest and recover. Sometimes this can be a nap, or drinking some water, or having some food, or lying or sitting down as comfortably as possible. If someone's helping, they can say "Hey, I'm here for you,"
Three, that they have or do something that makes them feel good. And just like for non-autistic people, this is the most variable factor of them all. A common one can be pressure, whether that's with a weighted blanket or vest, or with another person like a hug. Having a comfort item or fidget/stim item can help as well. For some people talking can help; for some talking might be difficult or impossible after a meltdown or shutdown.
Four, just straight up time. This can be an hour or three or a whole day. It really varies. Imagine spending a huge amount of mental energy in twenty minutes, on top of being extremely stressed out. Exhausting, right? You might want to take the rest of your day pretty easy to recover.
As to other characters helping, creating a low stimuli environment is a safe bet. A partner, family member, or friend would also likely know what makes your character feel better when they're stressed — a meltdown or shutdown is an extra stress response. They can generally help by staying calm and showing their support.
Hope this helps! :)
– mod sparrow
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" Aemond is homophobic", "Screw Aemond, he is disrespecting his mother"... Really?
As for the first statement: why does literally everything concerning Alicent have to be about her being deeply in not-so-platonic love with Rhaenyra? Nothing Aemond said implied that it is precisely "not-so-platonic" part he disapproves of.
And here we come to the second one.
For one, there is a war going on/about to begin. The lives of their entire family are at stake, at the very least due to Daemon being involved. As far as Aemond is concerned, the latter is either Rhaenyra's faithful dog who kills for her without second thought (just remember Vaemond's murder) or a mad one who can't be controlled. Either way, bad news - and Alicent still chooses to proceed with caution. To which point must the Greens do so? Till there is no one left of them to get in Rhaenyra's way? Alicent is one of my favourite characters in the saga (at this point "was" might be more suitable) but presently "Alicent holds love for our enemy. That makes her a fool" is basically a statement of fact.
As for the emotional side of the situation, just look at it from Aemond's point of view for a second. To cover her own ass and those of her children, Rhaenyra, an adult, in cold blood demanded for Aemond, a child, to be tortured - for telling the truth and right after Rhaenyra's own son maimed him for life. Alicent defended him then - and Aemond was the one who comforted her with words and with actions when the majority of the people in the room gaped at her as if she was a madwoman. He chased after Lucerys thinking not only of his mutilation having gone unpunished - he also never forgot Alicent being humiliated (hence 'a gift for my mother' line"). But when push really comes to shove Alicent, taking into consideration how high the stakes are, basically turns her back on him and his siblings - because she doesn't want her childhood friend (even if we actually count Rhaenyra as Alicent's friend) to be harmed. What about her children? Grandchildren? Her father? If you look at Aemond's face when he is asking Alicent whether she wants them to prevail, there is hurt in his eyes. And who can blame him for being hurt - and mad - when his own mother is not on his side but on the side of the person who harmed them both before? And if this happens after B&C, he is all the more justified in his feelings.
I might get a lot of hate for what I'm about to say but in the grand scheme of things it looks like as the Dance begins show!Alicent does precisely what Viserys did at Driftmark (and for years before and after) - which is disregarding her children's (in Viserys' case "other children's") best interests for Rhaenyra's sake.
P.S. There is also the fact that Aemond is not one of the most forgiving people in the world (just as book!Rhaenyra by the way). But it doesn't mean that his thoughts and feelings should be disregarded just because they happen to clash with his mother's.
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Why Wolfstar makes sense canonically
Call me delusional but welcome to my TED talk
Most of this has been said repeatedly by others over the years. I don't mean to steal anybody's credit, so if you feel like I have, please reach out.
This is me 'defending' Wolfstar, I'm not hating on another ship here and I won't engage in a discussion about which ship makes more sense. I'm just trying to elaborate why I can 'see' Wolfstar - even from a canon perspective.
I'm trying (and hoping to succeed) to be respectful and I'm not attacking a specific person here. This is just a general post with all my thoughts on the matter and all the arguments I've heard against it.
Brace yourself because this is going to get really really long, and there'll be a lot of quotes of the original source material.
The original source material
I feel that many people who claim the ship doesn't make sense fail to see that we're in this fandom because it did make sense to us after reading the books. The fandom exists, because many people saw it. Because it's possible to see it. It's not the other way around.
The thing with Wolfstar is, that it's all in the 'show not tell' which I suppose makes it 'easy' to overlook. Obviously it is, with the author not intending the ship - I'm not saying wolfstar is canon, but it makes a lot of sense with what we have in canon.
Their nonverbal communication
They have a lot of nonverbal communication going on, which shows a great level of understanding for one another. But they're not only able to read one another, they're actively (and both of them) communicating via eye contact - a lot. They're searching for the other person's eyes and are passing along 'thoughts', are reaching silent understandings just like that. That hints at a great emotional connection.
Let's do that 'chronologically':
It doesn't take more than a single look from Sirius to convince Remus that he is innocent. At this point Remus doesn't know shit about what really happened. He admits so himself later on, he keeps asking Sirius questions later on. And yet again he's so ready to believe Sirius,
Professor Lupin came hurtling into the room, his face bloodless, his wand raised an ready. His eyes flickered over Ron, lying on the floor, over Hermione, cowering next to the door, to Harry, standing there with his wand covering Black, and then to Black himself, crumpled and bleeding at Harry's feet.
'Expelliarmus!' Lupin shouted.
[...] Lupin caught them all defty then moved into the room, staring at Black, who still had Crookshanks lying protectively across his chest.
[...] Then Lupin spoke, in an odd voice, a voice that shook with some suppressed emotion. 'Where is he, Sirius?'
[...] Black's face was quite expressionless. For a few seconds, he didn't move at all. Then, very slowly, he raised his empty hand, and pointed straight at Ron.
'But then… Lupin muttered, staring at Black so intently it seemed he was trying to read his mind. “'Why hasn’t he shown himself before now? Unless...-' Lupin's eyes suddenly widened, as though he was seeing something beyond Black, something none of the rest could see, '-unless he was the one… unless you switched… without telling me?'
Very slowly, his sunken gaze never leaving Lupin’s face, Black nodded.
[...] Lupin lowered his wand. Next moment, he had walked to Black's side, seized his hand, pulled hm to his feet so that Crookshanks fell to the floor, and embraced Black like a brother.
And then he says, still without having received any explanation, just like that,
'I haven't been Sirius' friend for twelve years, but I am now... let me explain...'
They are so in synch with their actions without even having to talk about it; they're forming a united front (I'm getting to that later on), they're again reaching a silent understanding just by looking at one another (again),
Both Black and Lupin strode forwards, seized Pettigrew's shoulders and threw him backwards onto the floor.
[...]
Black and Lupin stood shoulder to shoulder, wands raised.
[...]
Black and Lupin both looked staggered.
[...]
Black and Lupin were looking at each other. Then, with one movement, they lowered their wands.
I think it's also important to note that they do not just look, but look to check for each other's opinion on the matter. Harry asks them not to murder Peter and of course they listen to him, but they first look at each other as if checking to be on the same page. So - they've just reunited after over twelve years and immediately take the other person into consideration (I'm getting to that later on).
Then in OotP there's the famous fourty line stare where Remus is just intently staring at Sirius while he and Molly are arguing, as opposed to the others who are watching the conversation (who does that?),
'Lupin, who had been about to take a sip of whine, lowered his goblet slowly, looking wary'
[...]
Lupin's eyes were fixed on Sirius. [fourty lines of back and forth between Molly and Sirius]
'Personally,' said Lupin quietly, looking away from Sirius at last.
And it's not just Remus doing it. It's mutual. They act like a unit (again, getting to that). They care for each other's opinion and they do know each other so well that a single fleeting look is enough for them to check in with the other,
He [Harry] thought he saw Sirius and Lupin exchange the most fleeting of looks before Sirius answered [...]
And again when Harry contacts them via floo to discuss Snape's Worst Memory, they do it again,
They exchanged a look of great surprise
[...]
Lupin glanced sideways at Sirius, then said, [...]
They communicate via touch, too:
Black's wand arm rose, but Lupin seized him around the wrist, gave him a warning look, then turned again to Pettigrew, his voice light and casual [...]
So - Remus does not only convince headstrong Sirius to back down nonverbally just by looking and touching him, no I think it's also important to note that Remus, who isn't a 'touch person' (he's awkward when comforting Molly, he (as far as I recall) never hugs Harry, always just shakes hands), doesn't even seem to think twice about touching Sirius. No, he immediately pulls him into a hug, then is restraining him physically when he tries to launch at Scabbers, then continues to communicate via looks and touch. After twelve years of separation he's immediately comfortable enough to initiate it.
They're super in synch - also with how they say things
It carries through the whole of OotP, really. Sirius says something just for Remus to say something immediately afterwards or the other way around. When they're together in a scene, the vibe is always them carrying the conversation together, one adding to the other's thoughts.
It already starts in PoA,
'They didn't say what they thought they saw !' said Black savagely [...].
'Everyone thought Sirius killed Peter,', said Lupin nodding.
But in OotP it's taken to whole new levels. It's too much to put here, but in that conversation where they tell Harry about the Order it's basically:
said Sirius / said Lupin /said Sirius /said Lupin... throughout the whole scene. One of them says something and the other one adds. And again. And again. And again.
And it happens again (though not to that extent) before Harry's Ministry hearing. In the Boggart scene. And then again when they discuss 'Snape's Worst Memory'.
They're also portrayed as being close to one another (distance-wise) repeatedly throughout OotP.
Like when Remus is there chances are Sirius isn't far. That doesn't have to mean anything of course but the frequency puts out a certain vibe to me,
'I said - shut - UP!', roared the man [Sirius] and with a stupendous effort he and Lupin managed to force the curtains closed again
Honestly, I think it's kind of funny that even when there're a number of people the two of them are always mentioned right after one another. Before Harry's ministry hearing, at Ron and Hermione's party, when Mrs Weasley is battling the Boggart, in the Department of Mysteries,
He pushed it open and saw Mr and Mrs Weasley, Sirius, Lupin and Tonks sitting at [...]
Sirius, Lupin, Tonks and Kingsley Shacklebolt were already there
Lupin had come running into the room, closely followed by Sirius [...]
[...] and five more people sprinted into the room: Sirius, Lupin, Moody, Tonks and Kingsley.
And then when Harry floos to see Sirius after he has seen 'Snape's Worst Memory' Remus is there again-, casually sitting at the table and reading and Harry mistakes him for Sirius even (because he's looking so at home?). But Remus immediately knows where to fetch Sirius and comes back with him quickly after. That just has such a domestic vibe to me.
[...] long wooden table where a man sat poring over a piece of parchment. [...]
'Sirius'? [...]
It was not Sirius, it was Lupin. [...]
'I'll call him,' said Lupin. [...]
And Harry saw Lupin hurry out of the kitchen. [...] Lupin returned with Sirius at his heels moments after.
Remus and his relationship to his friends
Remus mentions Sirius first when he speaks about his friends, although in every other occasion it's always James who's mentioned first. He always says 'James and Sirius'/'your father and Sirius'; it's always James first, Sirius second, but when he's talking about him finding friends for the first time in his life, it's suddenly Sirius first,
'I had friends, three great friend. Sirius Black... Peter Pettigrew... and, of course, your father, Harry - James Potter.'
I don't think that necessarily means anything though, but I felt like adding it just for the sake of it... (I know the author stated James supported Remus after Hogwarts, not Sirius, implying they were (always) closer, but - and that's just my general personal approach - I don't care much for what she said in any Interviews/on pottermore/wizardingworld.com or whatever. She's contradicting herself so often there (see below). To me it's always books first and the books show that Remus and Sirius are close as adults whereas we don't have much information about Remus/James).
Then Remus is very obviously operating on double standards when it comes to Sirius as opposed to Peter. In his conversation with Harry it's insinuated that he doesn't want Sirius, who he believes to have betrayed Lily and James and killed Peter and twelve others, to receive the Dementor's kiss.
'He deserves it,' he [Harry] said suddenly.
'You think so?' said Lupin lightly. 'Do you really think anyone deserves that?
Yet later when he learns the truth he has no qualms whatsoever about killing Peter. He doesn't stop Sirius, he doesn't hesitate, he's joinng in. Why's this so different suddenly? Selling away your friends lives and framing your other friend (Peter) isn't worse than selling away your friends' lives and killing your other friend (allegedly Sirius), is it? So if their 'alleged' crimes are comparable, why is Remus acting different about Peter's than he is about Sirius's?
'Shall we kill him together?'
'Yes, I think s,' said Lupin grimly.
It's not about him thinking the Dementor's kiss was worse than death either. Because he as no qualms to bring Peter to the Dementors when Harry stops them from murdering him. So... why the double standards again?
Sirius/Remus also so do 'relationship behaviour'. I mean the whole nonverbal communication already, but also,
'Sirius, sit down.' [...]
Sirius sank slowly back into his chair, his face white.
'[...] I think Molly's right, Sirius. We've said enough.'
Sirius half-shrugged, but did not argue.
'I'm coming up there to have a word with Snape!' said Sirius forcefully, and he actually made to stand up, but Lupin wrenched him back down again.
'If anyone's going to tell Snape it will be me!' he said firmly
Remus understands Sirius and is looking out for him
Remus gets Sirius even after over twelve years of being separated. Sirius is impatient in PoA, because he - finally - wants to take revenge on Peter. Remus not only sees that but tries to stop him. To me it reads as if he knows that Harry's opinion is important to Sirius, will be, once he sees clearly again and that he doesn't want him to destroy his chances with Harry by acting too impulsive. Because his intervention isn't rooted in his concern for Peter's life obviously, because he's ready to kill Peter once they explained everything,
'Sirius, NO!, Lupin yelled, launching himself forwards and dragging Black away from Ron again. “WAIT! You can’t do it just like that - they need to understand - we’ve got to explain -“
'We can explain afterwards!,' snarled Black, trying to throw Lupin off, one hand still clawing the air as the tried to reach Scabbers, who was squealing like a piglet, scratching Ron’s face and neck as he tried to escape.
'They’ve - got - a - right - to - know - everything!,' Lupin panted, still trying to restrain Black. 'Ron’s kept him as a pet! There are parts of it even I don’t understand! And Harry - you owe Harry the truth'
And then again he's stepping in when Sirius is not doing himself any favor with Harry (again),
'And why did he fake this death?' he [Harry] said furiously. 'Because he knew you were about to kill him like you killed my parents.'
'No', said Lupin. 'Harry-'
'And now you've come to finish him off!'
'Yes, I have,' said Black, with an evil look at Scabbers.
'Then I should've let Snape take you!' Harry shouted.
'Harry,', said Lupin hurriedly, 'don't you see? All this time we've thought Sirius betrayed your parents, and Peter tracked him down - but it was the other way around, don't you see? Peter betrayed your mother and father - Sirius tracked Peter down-'
And then Remus is stepping in - again - when it's getting too much for Sirius,
'Harry... I as good as killed them', he [Sirius] croaked. 'I persuaded Lily and James to change to Peter at the last moment [...] I was scared. I set out for your parents' house straight away. And when I saw their house, destroyed and their bodies - I realized what Peter must'v done. What I'd done.'
His voice broke. He turned away
'Enough of this,' said Lupin, and there was a steely note in his voice Harry had never heard before.
And in this scene in OotP he's also looking out for him,
'I'm coming up there to have a word with Snape!' said Sirius forcefully, and he actually made to stand up, but Lupin wrenched him back down again.
'If anyone's going to tell Snape it will be me!' he said firmly
They're forming a united front - not once, but it's a recurring motive.
Both are ready to handle the whole Peter thing together. They haven't seen each other for over twelve years, they didn't part on good terms and still they're immediately including the other. Even Sirius who's (in this situation) either failing to see how his behavior isn't doing him any good with building a relationshio with Harry or is incapable of stopping himself, is including Remus,
'Ready, Sirius' said Lupin
[...] 'Together?' he [Sirius] said quietly.
‘I think so', said Lupin [...]
And then again, they're ready to kill him together, too,
'Of course,' said Black, and the ghost of a grin flitted across his gaunt face. He, too, began rolling up his sleeves. 'Shall we kill him together?'
'Yes, I think so,' said Lupin grimly.
And also non-verbally they're an united front (see above),
Both Black and Lupin strode forwards, seized Pettigrew's shoulders and threw him backwards onto the floor.
[...]
Black and Lupin stood shoulder to shoulder, wands raised.
[...]
Black and Lupin both looked staggered.
[...]
Black and Lupin were looking at each other. Then, with one movement, they lowered their wands.
Then they're portrayed as 'shoulder to shoulder' (figuratively speaking) in other situations as well. Remus is taking Sirius's side in the argument with Molly although he has no business doing so, although he usually prefers to stay in the background. He's usually keeping quiet, usually not speaking up - Molly even thinks she's getting an ally when he joins the conversation,
'Personally,' said Lupin quietly, looking away from Sirius at last, as Mrs Weasley turned quickly to him, hopeful that finally she was about to get an ally. 'I think it better that Harry gets the facts - not all the facts, Molly, but the general picture - from us, rather than a garbled version from ... others.'
[...]
'Molly you're not the only person at this table who cares about Harry', said Lupin sharply.
Remus is always taking Sirius's Side - he keeps making excuses for James and Sirius's behavior at Hogwarts, he keeps playing it down - even as an adult. He's damn biased, he doesn't move an inch - as long as they're in public at least,
'Sirius thought it would be - er - amusing, to tell Snape all he had to do was prod the knot on the tree-trunk with a long stick and he’d be able to get in after me.'
'a schoolboy grudge' [Remus to Snape]
Lupin looked sideways at Sirius, then aid, 'Look, Harry, what you've got to understand is that your father and Sirius were the best in the school at whatever they did - everyone thought they were the height of cool - if they sometimes got a bit carried away-'
'If we were sometimes arrogant little berks, you mean',, said Sirius.
Lupin smiled.
And I think it's important to point out that Remus does this even though it's not his real stance on the matter,
'[...] it would be - er - amusing, to tell Snape [...]'
'We were in the same year, you know and we - er - didn’t like each other very much. He especially disliked James. Jealous, I think, of James’s talent on the Quidditch pitch…'
The 'er' and 'I think' is a speech pattern of his that indicates he's not being completely honest/doesn't truly believe what he says. ('So he - er - accidentally let slip that I am a werewolf this morning at breakfast.' / 'Er - perhaps it will be best if we don’t revive him until we’re safely back in the castle.). He doesn't truly think they were as harmless as he's portraying it ('Did I ever have the guts to tell you I thought you were ought of order?').
So - united front on the outside, no matter what. But it's insinuated that behind closed doors Remus is taking a different stance. He's blaming himself for not stepping in with the whole Snape thing, because that's just who he is - blaming himself for everything (sometimes rightfully so, sometimes not) While I do think he didn't say anything outwardly, there must have been something that made it clear to the others that Remus didn't approve of their behavior,
'Of course he was a bit of an idiot,' said Sirius bracingly, 'we were all idiots! Well - Moony not so much', he said fairly, looking at Lupin.
But Remus shook his head. 'Did I ever tell you to lay off Snape?”' he said. 'Did I ever have the guts to tell you I thought you were out of order?'
'Yeah, well', said Sirius, 'you made us feel ashamed of ourselves sometimes… that was something….'
Remus is suddenly living at Grimmauldplace
So at the end of GoF Remus obviously has his own place (or is living with his father again, although he didn't want to because he didn't want to disturb his quiet life according to the author? But then again I don't care what she said on Pottermore).
'Sirius, I need you to set off at once. You are to alert Remus Lupin, Arabella Figg, Mundungus Fletcher —the old crowd. Lie low at Lupin's for a while, I will contact you there.'
So that's at the end of June. And then at the beginning of August when Harry arrives in London, just six weeks later, he's living at Grimmauldplace already,
Lupin, who was staying at the house with Sirius but who left it for long periods to do mysterious work for the Order [...]
And then rhey give away joint Christmas presents,
Sirius and Lupin had given Harry a set of excellent books entitled Practical Defensive Magic and its Use Against the Dark Arts, which had superb, moving colour illustrations of all the counter-jinxes and hexes it described.
They act differently with / because of one another
Sometimes they even defy their core character traits.
Remus's primal drive in everything he does is to be liked/fit in/be seen as good by others (and not as the monster he sees himself as deep down). He's even sometimes manipulative and hypocritical because of it. For example he doesn't tell Dumbledore about Sirius's animagus form because of it (or at least it's part of the reason, or he believes it to be). But when Snape enters the Shrieking Shack he doesn't care about himself getting into trouble for - allegedly - helping a supposed mass murderer break into the castle and everything. Even though he stated before that he didn't tell Dumbledore about Sirius for fear of losing his respect, all he cares about suddenly is Sirius's safety:
'Severus, you're making a mistake,' said Lupin urgently. 'You haven't heard everything - I can explain - Sirius is not here to kill Harry-'
[...] 'You fool,' said Lupin softly. 'Is a schoolboy grudge worth putting an innocent man back inside Azkaban.'
Also Remus is able to get through to Sirius even in a state of utmost agitation. Sirius is trying to murder Peter and Remus stops him and Sirius listens, even though his goal is finally in reach. Although, up to that point, he didn't exactly act very sensible (slashing the Fat Lady, breaking into Harry's dorm with a knife),
'All right then,' Black said, without taking his eyes off the rat. “Tell them whatever you like. But make it quick, Remus. I want to commit the murder I was imprisoned for…'
And he continues to listen to Remus, Remus continues to be able to get through to him even when he's getting emotional. And Remus, who's always trying to appear mild (for fear of being perceived as aggressive which he can not afford because of the werewolf-thing), who even spoke quietly before in that very same conversation, is losing parts of his composure when Sirius is attacked,
“Molly, you’re not the only person at this table who cares about Harry”, said Lupin sharply. “Sirius, sit down.”
Molly’s lower lip was trembling. Sirius sank slowly back into his chair, his face white.
Remus is letting loose around him (and the other marauders). He quips,
'Did you like question ten, Moony?' asked Sirius as they emerged to the Entrance Hall.
'Loved it,' said Lupin briskly. 'Give five signs that identify the werewolf. Excellent question.'
'D’you think you managed to get all the signs?,' said James in tones of mock concern.
'Think I did,' said Lupin seriously, as they joined the crowd thronging around the front doors eager to get out into the sunlit grounds. 'One: he’s sitting on my chair. Two: he’s wearing my clothes. Three: his name’s Remus Lupin.'
'Well, as everyone thinks I’m a mad mass-murderer and the Ministry’s put a ten thousand Galleon price on my head, I can hardly stroll up the street and start handing out leaflets, can I?,' said Sirius restlessly.
'And I’m not a very popular dinner guest with most of the community,' said Lupin. “It’s an occupational hazard of being a werewolf.'
[As @remusawoooo put it: let's form a comedy duo <3]
And Remus is obviously very comfortable with Sirius. He's always restraining himself, Harry narrates his way of speaking as 'mild' or 'quiet' so many times, but apparently he's different when he's alone with Sirius. That hints at a great level of trust. He doesn't bother to keep up his act around him, because he doesn't worry about being perceived as mild with him and just speaks his truth ( e.g. about Umbridge). He can just be and oh boy, thinking about Remus's character that has to be the greatest fucking deal ever.
'I know she's a nasty piece of work, though - you should hear Remus talk about her.'
And then Remus, who is so good at appearing restrained, is losing his composure when Sirius dies,
'He can’t come back, Harry,' said Lupin, his voice breaking as he struggled to contain Harry. 'He can’t come back, because he’s d-'
[...]
Lupin's face was pale. [...]
Lupin turned away from the archway as he spoke. It sounded as if every word were causing him pain.
In this moment Harry himself is in huge (emotional) pain, but he still notices - must've been rather obvious, then?
Their mutual respect for one another
So, I've read how Sirius wouldn't/couldn't possibly respect Remus / see him as an equal. How they wouldn't fully 'trust' one another. No matter if you 'see' Wolfstar or not, that is just plain wrong.
Sirius respected Remus already as a teenager. He (and James, too), cared for his opinion, otherwise they wouldn't have been affected by whatever he thought about their bullying. But they were ('you made us feel ashamed of ourselves sometimes').
The whole Sirius thinking Remus was the spy thing also shows that he respected him. He saw him as capable - not just as capable of betraying his friends, but also as a capable person in general, a person with an own agenda, not just a copy of him or James. He didn't see Peter like that.
Sirius lets Remus take the lead in the scene in the Shrieking Shack even though the whole taking revenge on Peter/avenging James (James!) thing is most important to him. He does not only let himself be swayed by Remus and lowers his wand instead of killing Peter right after they forced him to transform, he also let's Remus lead the conversation. To me that shows a huge level of trust. He only joins in after Peter accused him of having learned tricks from Voldemort. But before that it's just Remus talking for some paragraphs?
And Sirius listens to Remus not only in that scene, but also in OotP. First he sits down again in his argument with Molly simply because Remus told him so. Then he's waiting for Remus to come back to the room before he even starts telling Harry about the Order business.
Lupin hurried of to the portrait to restore calm. It was only after he had returned, closing the kitchen door behind him and taking hs seat at the table again, that Sirius spoke.
Then he just accepts when Remus says they've said enough without arguing,
'[...] I think Molly's right, Sirius. We've said enough.'
Sirius half-shrugged, but did not argue.
Headstrong Sirius, who's even challenging Dumbledore's orders by insisting on telling Harry stuff, who's challenging Dumbledore's orders by accompanying Harry to King's Cross (as Padfoot), who's willing to challenge Dumbledore's orders when he suggests meeting up at Hogsmeade (as Padfoot). But Remus says we've said enough and he is just like 'okay'. Remus says 'sit down' and despite him having been attacked personally he just does. He clearly respects him a great deal.
On a more subtle note (and maybe I'm reading too much into the source material here, but it makes sense to me)... The Prank was not a big deal in canon. At least not initially. But adult Remus tells us in PoA,
'That was still really dangerous! Running around in the dark with a werewolf! What if you’d given the others the slip and bitten somebody?' [Hermione]
'A thought that still haunts me,' said Remus heavily. 'And there were near misses, many of them. We laughed about them afterwards. We were young, thoughtless - carried away with our own cleverness. I sometimes felt guilty about betraying Dumbledore’s trust, of course… he had admitted me to Hogwarts when no other headmaster would have done so and he had no idea I was breaking the riles he had set down for my own and others’ safety.[...]'
And he's still making excuses for the prank in this scene and Sirius still says how, 'it served him [Snape] right'
But then in OotP when they discuss Snape's Worst Memory with Harry, Sirius obviously has some introspection and to me it easily reads as if they had talked about that behavior - as adults,
'I'm not proud of it,' said Sirius quickly.
Lupin looked sideways at Sirius, then said, 'Look, Harry [...] if they sometimes got a bit carried away-'
'If we were sometimes arrogant little berks you mean,' said Sirius.
Lupin smiled.
He cuts him off and to me it reads like, 'okay Remus, you can stop making excuses for me'. Maybe adult Sirius came to that conclusion himself with being out of Azkaban for almost two years at this point. He's certainly emotionally intelligent enough to do so. But then again, he's incredibly blind when it comes to Snape in general, even as an adult, so I'm not so sure about that.
Other things
Sirius was lounging in his chair at his ease, tilting it back on two legs. He was very good-looking, his dark hair fell into his eyes with a sort of casual elegance neither James's nor Harry's could ever have achieved, and a girl sitting behind him was eyeing him hopefully, though he didn't seem to have noticed. And two seats along from this girl - Harry's stomach gave another pleasurable squirm - was Remus lupin.
I personally think that's over-interpreting the source material, but I've read someone pointing out how it reads like,
'Hormonal male teen doesn't care for the attention of a teenage girl, why could that be, why could that be... oh, here's why: ...'
(let's not forget about asexual people though)
The Original source material getting ridiculously obvious without the author intending so
Okay, so I personally don't set great store by this, but I think it's funny:
Their names being the biggest cliche ever
Remus 'Moony' Lupin and Sirius ' the Dog Star' Black. Moon and stars, come on. All this from an author who's taking the name game to ridiculous levels. (I mean Remus Lupin = Wolf-son Wolf?, even Lyall = Wolf. And Sirius = the Dog Star Black. And he's a black dog.... really?)
Nearly matching Patroni
They have (supposedly) nearly matching Patroni. Remus's is a wolf while Sirius's is supposedly a dog because it usually aligns with the caster's Animagus form. Anyhow, it's supposed to reflect the caster's personality. Matching Patroni are a huge deal in HP. And a wolf and a dog are pretty damn close, meaning that even if they're not 'matching' technically speaking, they (the caster) are pretty damn close character-wise?
But what about...?
All your 'proof' doesn't necessarily mean they're a thing romantically
No, that's right. I'm not saying wolfstar is canon, I'm just saying it makes sense, even from a canon perspective. Obviously the author didn't intend them to be canon. My point is that it's no stretch to read them as being a thing (whatever that means - being together or just having some sort of unresolved feelings) even in canon.
I'm aware that the things I pointed out don't mean much if you look at them individually. I agree. Like, of course joint presents don't have to mean anything, maybe Sirius is just being 'nice', is including Remus. But it's the sum that give off that vibe—at least to me.
But hey, I'm not trying to convince anyone of Wolfstar; I'm just trying to elaborate. I'd be happy if we could all agree that, no matter any romantic feelings, they were very close friends. Because that, as I hope to have pointed out, is definitely canon.
They don't make sense because of the prank
First - they don't have necessarily to have been a thing back in fifth year already.
Second - the prank was no big deal in canon. I've already ranted about this in another post, so I won't repeat myself here. But canonically Remus didn't make a scene. Like it or not, think it's in character or not, but he didn't.
But Sirius disregards Remus's feelings in 'Snape's worst memory
So this is, what we're talking about, right,
'I’m bored,' said Sirius. 'Wish it was full moon.'
'You might', said Lupin darkly.
Again, they don't have to have necessarily been a thing back in fifth year already. Most of the 'show' we get from the original source material is from when they're adults.
And: Sirius being flippant is just how he is, it's not unique to his relationship with Remus, it doesn't mean he disrespects Remus or anything. He's sarcastic with James in that very same scene, too, even though James had just been insulted and turned down by Lily in front of numerous bystanders (maybe not the nicest thing to do?).
'Bad luck, Prongs'
[...]
'Reading between the lines I'd say she thinks you're a bit conceited, mate.'
We - as a fandom - are turning the full moons into a much bigger deal than they were - or at least than Remus wanted them to be. ('And they didn’t desert me at all. Instead they did something for me that would make my transformations not only bearable, but the best times of my life. They became Animagi.')
But Sirius thought Remus was the spy - they couldn't have been close in 1981
'Being close' is a matter of definition, like, I can be super hurt and disgusted by someone's behaviour and still the person can mean a lot to me. So I think it's possible that they cared for each other even though Sirius suspected Remus to be the spy. But in the sense of them 'emotionally getting' each other I definitely agree. But - even if they weren't close in 1981 - what does that say about their teenage years? Or about them past PoA? Right, nothing.
But Lily's letter didn't even mention Remus and Remus isn't standing with them in the Order photograph
See above.
But you don't just move past something like mistrusting each other so deeply
Maybe you don't. They did. Because they did, no matter what you think about wolfstar. Btw, Sirius is asking for Remus's forgiveness, so there's that for the whole 'he can't forgive him for not having him gotten out of Azkaban'-thing.
'Forgive me Remus', said Black.
'Not at all, Padfoot, old friend,' said Lupin, who was now rolling up his sleeves. 'And will you, in turn, forgive me for believing you were the spy?'
'Of course,' said Black, and the ghost of a grin flitted across his gaunt face.
The ghost of a grin. Yes, Sirius is obviously very resentful.
And even if they had a chat about it during 'Lie low at Lupin's', even if they worked through some old baggage - by the beginning of OotP they're definitely super casual with one another.
Their whole dynamic is super toxic... The mistrust and everything. That's not a healthy basis for anything
Unfortunately, being toxic doesn't stop people from being in a relationship. But I don't think they are toxic, not necessarily. While I agree that they definitely have issues (I don't see either of them being good at healthy communication; how were they supposed to learn? Besides, both of them have problematic character traits), I do think, in general, they treat each other with respect. And there's no evidence whatsoever for either of them holding grudges about the spy situation. I know people want Sirius to be resentful because they feel Remus deserves it for letting him 'rot' in Azkaban, but there's no evidence for that.
But Sirius didn't seek out Remus's help in PoA when he was after Peter
That would have been risky, wouldn't it? And I don't think there was much on Sirius's mind except for the revenge thing. Sirius is usually quite calm and way less dramatic than fanon makes him out to be. But he loses it completely with the whole Peter affair. I mean slashing the Fat Lady and acting like the mad mass murderer everyone thinks him to be by breaking into Harry's dorm with that knife? (Stupid and also super risky with no wand)
But Sirius isn't with Remus in GoF but rather lives in a cave
Yes, to be close to Harry. Because Harry is his top priority (see below). So what does that prove? He's rather with Harry than with Remus. Agreed. But it's not like he was roaming the UK instead of being at Remus's before. He was somewhere south, far far away to evade seizure. He only comes back because of Harry.
It's understandable, because he feels responsible for Harry (and perhaps guilty because he blames himself for James's death). He doesn't feel responsible for Remus, who is a grown man - and Remus's safety isn't at stake. His own safety is more important than just being with his friend/lover/whatever, but it's not more important than Harry's safety. I think that's a pretty healthy dynamic actually.
Harry doesn't notice so they can't be a thing
Harry is great at noticing some things. Others, not so much. For example Harry thinks Tonks is in love with Sirius, so so much for Harry's perceptiveness. The books being from Harry's perspective is part of the point of Wolfstar making sense.
What about James?
What about James? Is this a contest? No one says Sirius and James weren't best friends (I won't step into the shipping James/Sirius debate here, I respect the ship eve though it isn't my cup of tea). We all agree they were super close. We all agree they were inseparable and that Sirius was devastated about James's death. Following this line of argument Jily makes no sense either (as @myheadsgonenumb pointed out). People are capable of loving their partners (or loving someone unrequitedly or loving someone without realizing) and having a close best friend at the same time.
Plus, who's to say he wouldn't have been devastated if Remus had died, too? People have the ability to care deeply about more than one person (and again, it's not a contest)
BANG! Thin, snake-like cords burst from the end of Snape’s wand and twisted themselves around Lupin’s mouth, wrists and ankles; he overbalanced and fell to the floor, unable to move. With a roar of rage, Sirius started toward Snape, [...]
Yes, Sirius is obviously completely indifferent to what happens to Remus.
BUT it does annoy me that a lot of wolfstar fics are erasing James / are turning Remus into everything James was for Sirius. Like James was just a side character for.Sirius. That's unrealistic. Sirius needs James, Wolfstar or not.
But it's stated Sirius and James only cared for each others opinions, no one else's
Is it really? I've basically already tackled that one above, but, while I agree that they were most important to one another, Sirius himself says to Remus, 'Yeah, well. You made us feel ashamed of ourselves sometimes… that was something….'
What about Harry - the books state he was the most important person to Sirius (and vice versa), not Remus?
Agreed and again - is it a contest? That line of reasoning would mean that parents aren't capable of loving their partners because they have children.
But Sirius wouldn't be with someone who let Harry suffer at his aunt's / who allegedly endangered Harry's life in PoA by withholding information from Dumbledore...
He wouldn't? The backbone of this argument is that Sirius would not trust/forgive someone who did these things. And wether you ship wolfstar or not, that is just canonically wrong. They were canonically close in OotP (see quotes above) - if you're negating this you're being delusional.
I don't think I have to deep-dive into Sirius's character here because it's obvious that he didn't hold a grudge against Remus.
Remus is too much of a loser for Sirius to want him as a partner
I feel like that's pretty much the same argument, so it get's pretty much the same answer: He wouldn't?
The backbone of this argument is that Sirius was too cool for Remus, had not enough respect for Remus, which is, canonically simply not true. No matter if you like it, no matter if you think it makes sense considering Sirius's character, it's fact that adult Sirius respected him very much. He listened to him, he cared for his opinion, he backed down because of him, he allowed Remus to take the lead. He doesn't treat him as inferior. Not a single time.
But Sirius is so much better than Remus, he has a better moral code, he's a better man, a better [insert statement here]...
Again - it doesn't matter much if you think so, or what I think about it. But Sirius didn't think so. Not a single proof he's resentful towards Remus, not a single proof he thinks Remus is inferior to him, not a single proof he doesn't respect him. The opposite actually.
But Remus is such a pushover, it just doesn't fit personality-wise. Sirius needs someone strong
Is Remus really? Because he isn't as an adult. At least not as long as he isn't concerned personally.
I see Remus as someone with deep-rooted self-worth issues, hence he's struggling to stand up for himself (his worst decisions are all linked to his poor self-esteem). But he has no problem in PoA to stand up to Snape (in the scene in the Shack), he has no problem to stand up to Sirius (multiple times in that scene), he has no problem to take the lead in the conversation with Peter. He has no problem to stand up to Molly when she's attacking Sirius and he tells Sirius to leave it to him to deal with Snape when they learn that Snape stopped giving Harry Occlumency lessons (and wrenches him down again). He's not as gentle/soft/pushover-y as people sometimes think.
Besides, we don't know much about how he really was as a teenager. He himself says that he didn't call them out for the whole Snape thing, but his self-perception isn't the best and he tends to blame himself for everything, so we don't really know how true that really is... As mentioned before, Sirius himself says,
''Yeah, well. You made us feel ashamed of ourselves sometimes… that was something….'
And also (before that),
'Of course he was a bit of an idiot,' said Sirius bracingly, 'we were all idiots! Well - Moony not so much.'
But Sirius is depressive in OotP - the long hair, the drinking, his moods...
Yes, of course, he's trapped in his childhood home without being able to do anything, he's feeling useless. No wonder he's depressed. Having a relationship doesn't save you from depression (although having no fulfilling platonic/romantic relationships at all can be a major factor for getting depressed).
If one or two pillars have crumbled that is possibly already enough for the roof to tumble down - even though the third is still standing (surprise!).
[On a personal note: I know what I'm talking about (although not everyone's experience is the same obvs) because I'm suffering from depression despite having a wonderful partner, great sisters and great friends.]
But Harry inherited all of Sirius's money/belongings when he died, not Remus.
I don't know about you, but I don't peg Remus as somebody who would've accepted it. Apart from that, Remus was an adult whom Sirius saw as an equal, just as capable as himself, whereas Harry was Sirius's godchild, whom he felt responsible for (and probably still guilty towards).
But Sirius had his wall plastered with pictures of bikini-clad girls
And I had a poster of my favorite (male) singer over my bed at the age of fourteen. Guess what, I'm not straight.
What about Remadora?
I'm not stepping into the 'Is Remus gay'/'Is Remus bisexual' debate right here because I don't think it's necessary. Remadora was after Sirius's death. Period.
And the whole Remadora ship is awful - for both of them. @lizlemonbennet wrote a beautiful post about that
Tonks deserved better - she was so unhappy pining after him, it was literally sucking joy and confidence out of her (her hair changed and her Patronus changed). Lets talk about her Patronus actually. Before Remus it was a rabbit, after she fell in love with him it was a wolf. If Patroni represent your personality, what does it say about you when your Patronus is your lover's literal prey? To me that's a pretty obviously unhealthy dynamic.
But you're erasing women from the story
No, we're not. Wolfstar was a thing before Remadora and Sirius doesn't even have a canonic love interest. Besides - I love Jily and doesn't Hermione get paired with just about anyone?
But the author stated on wizardingworld.com that Remus had never fallen in love before he met Tonks.
I think the whole killing off Sirius and marrying off Remus thing was just the author dealing with fans interpreting her story in a way she didn't like. Either way, I don't care much about what she wrote on Wizardingworld or elsewhere when it contradicts the original source material. Because the author contradicting herself in interviews, on Pottermore, with the films, and even within the books is really nothing new. Just a short list of her making no sense:
James Potter being a seeker, no a chaser, no a seeker, actually nvm
Saying that Snape was in a gang with the Lestranges ('a married couple') at school, when Bellatrix had already left school when Snape arrived at Hogwarts
Saying James was fifteen in 'Snape's Worst Memory' when he had to have been sixteen. It happened after O.W.L.s and students turn sixteen during their fifth year of school. With his birthday being stated as being in March in the very source material itself (DH), sorry, but that's just wrong.
The whole timeline of the Order deaths in 1981
Halloween 1981 being a Wednesday when it actually was a Saturday (Wednesday - Saturday, close, huh?). The story starts from Vernon Dursley's perspective who's on his way to work and Harry's been brought to Privet Drive the same evening. According to the 'real calendar' this means baby Harry spent over a day alone in the ruins of his parents' house? Cool
September first, 1993, being a full moon, meaning Remus has to have transformed on either the train ride to Hogwarts or during the Start of Term feast. Meet your need DADA professor, he's a werewolf, like, right now. Ups, I guess the jig is up.
Remus not transforming in PoA when he hurries to the Shack despite sun already having set just because the moon is blocked by clouds??? It's that easy to evade transformation, yes? Why not lock yourself in the basement, then?
.... (don't get me started on plot holes, I could rant about this to no end)
Other reasons the ship appeals to so many people
Friends to lovers (with a bit of enemies to lovers because of the spy thing?)
I don't have to elaborate on that do I?
Just the right measure of opposites attract / Like will to like - They're good together or at least have the potential to be
I didn't mean to turn this into some Remus Lupin / Sirius Black meta, but...
In some ways they are super similar. It's both very important for them to be viewed as 'good' by others (although their definitions may differ). Remus because he needs that sort of validation because of his poor self-worth. Sirius needs to be seen as 'good' as opposed to his family. They get each other partly because they know how it's to be reduced to a single trait. But then they act very differently about it - Sirius plunges into action while Remus retreats and masks.
They're both dark in some ways; they were both ready to kill Peter.
James didn't believe one of his friends would betray him. Both Sirius and Remus weren't so naive (Although drawing the wrong conclusions):
You think I'm a fool?" demanded Harry.
'No, I think you're like James,' said Lupin, 'who would have regarded it as the height of dishonor to mistrust his friends.'
Remus is kind/gentle but he's also passive-aggressive at times and sometimes manipulative. Whereas Sirius is harsh, sometimes even cruel, but that means he's also blunt. That has the potential of them dragging one another away from the extremes a bit, meeting in the middle (although Sirius probably would be able to do so on his own, I think most times he simply doesn't care).
While Sirius is much less dramatic and rash than parts of the fandom make him out to be, he has a tendency to act impulsive (acting like a mad mass murderer when he breaks into the castle / wanting to murder Peter without thinking about what that means for his relationship with Harry / jumping to his feet to immediately have a word with Snape when he hears about him dropping the Occlumency lessons). He can do with some sort of counterforce just as Remus needs somebody who forces him to crawl out of his shell.
The drama
They get each other without really getting each other. Sirius thinking Remus is the spy is super tragic because he's reducing him to the werewolf thing, which is the one thing that really hurts Remus.
But he doesn't do that for malicious intent - he does so because he sees Remus's struggle, because it makes sense to him and because he deems Remus capable. But he doesn't really *get* Remus. Because if he did, he would have realized that for Remus it was always most important to be liked/fit in. He'd never betray his friends' trust, because he's so grateful for having them in the first place. He would have rather died, - he doesn't think his life is worth much anyhow (as opposed to Peter). Remus would rather die than risk being shunned.
So he sees Remus but misses the point spectacularly. Which just breaks my heart. And still they're finding back to each other (as friends at least)
Goodbye
Thanks to anyone who's read that far. Again, I don't mean to bash any other ship, this is just about my 'love' for Wolfstar. Don't tell me I can't write a canon compliant Wolfstar story because I can and I will (read: am trying).
I'm also not saying that you have to read it the way I do, it's always interpretation anyhow. But I hope I managed to shed some light on the whole matter.
I didn't check the text because I didn't intend it to get that long tbh. I only had time to write it down because I'm sick at the moment. But I hope there's no holes or anything.
#Can we at least agree that they were close as adults? Bc that would already make me happy (and it's true)#wolfstar#wolfstar defender#remus x sirius#remus lupin#sirius black#marauders#marauders era
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A million plus one years ago I sent an ask about a mistaken DFF scenario. Basically, after Charlie finally gets Alastor to sleep by drugging him, his sleep deprived ass falls into a coma and she panics and instructs everyone in the hotel to hide the fact that Alastor's in a coma so that none of his enemies will try to take advantage of his vulnerable state before she can figure out how to fix things. But the secret-keeping causes Rosie and some others who care about Alastor to grow suspicious and they eventually come to the conclusion that Charlie and her people are keeping Alastor prisoner and mount a rescue.
I'd like to expand on that.
At first when Alastor falls into his deep sleep, Charlie is relieved. Finally! No more talk of ceiling children! Sure, Alastor will probably be pretty annoyed with her when he wakes up but one he realizes how much better he feels after a full night's rest he'll forgive her, surely. The next morning Alastor doesn't wake up but that's fine. He's gone years and years without sleeping, he's allowed to sleep in now. It's not like people are lining up to attack the hotel with Lucifer Morningstar living there anyway. She later checks up on Alastor in the afternoon to find him still asleep and, well, maybe it's a bit worrisome, but she can leave him a bit longer, right? He looks so comfortable curled up on his bed - rather, the bed she asked Lucifer to conjure up for him since Alastor didn't even HAVE a bed in his room - she thinks he's probably fine.
A full twenty-four hours has passed and Alastor's still not awake. Charlie begins to worry. She shakes his shoulder. Gently at first, then harder, and then she's calling his name louder and louder and then suddenly Vaggie's there asking what's wrong because Charlie didn't realize that she was shouting so loud that the others in the hotel could hear, or that she's begun crying.
Vaggie calls everyone up into the room and Charlie explains; she was worried about Alastor hallucinating from the lack of sleep so she slipped him a sleeping pill and now he won't wake up and she doesn't know what to do. Niffty tries, shaking Alastor violently while screaming in his face before Husk pulls her off. Angel Dust asks if he's still alive which Vaggie confirms.
"He's not dead, just dead asleep."
So the question is, what do they do? If they can't wake him up is there some kind of doctor or someone they can take him to? Husk offers a surprising amount of insight, describing sleep deprivation as a form of torture he's personally witnessed, maybe even experienced, and that Alastor may need a lot more than just one day's sleep to recover if that's really what he's been doing to himself.
"Truth is, I didn't even know the bastard did sleep. I'm willing to bet he's been keeping this bullshit up near as long as he's been in Hell."
Charlie's heart breaks hearing that. Torture. Alastor's been torturing himself practically since he got to Hell because... why? She can't wrap her head around it. And if he's really been doing this for decades, how many years of sleep will it take for him to wake up?
Lucifer pulls Charlie into a hug, reassuring her that this isn't her fault. They'll make sure nothing happens to the tacky piece of shit while he's sleeping. Then he cracks a joke about Alastor being more tolerable asleep, which doesn't get many laughs.
Months pass. Everyone's collectively agreed to hide the fact that Alastor's comatose. As a former overlord, Husk makes it clear that there are plenty of sinners who would jump at the chance to take out Alastor while he's in no shape to defend himself. So they don't tell anyone, not even Alastor's known friends. Just because Alastor calls them friends doesn't mean they won't take advantage of a moment of weakness, Husk cautions.
Even Husk finds himself tempted. When it's his turn to watch over Alastor's comatose body, his eyes find the other demon's throat. He pulls out his angelic steel-lined playing cards, holds them to Alastor's skin, imagines the feel of his collar falling from his own throat as he splits open that scrawny, defenseless neck...
Ultimately, Husk doesn't go through with it. He's too attached to Angel Dust and the hotel to jeopardize his place there. Besides, as evil and fucked up as Alastor is, he wouldn't go after a sleeping target. Husk can at the very least return the favor. But he does say that he probably shouldn't be left alone with Alastor in the future.
Over time though, other overlords begin to take notice of Alastor's absence in public. Vox goes on live television to mock Alastor's defeat at Adam's hands while broadcasting the video and accusing Alastor of hiding away out of cowardice. Zestial's eyes linger on Alastor's empty seat in the meeting room. Rosie sends invitation after invitation for Alastor to join her for coffee to catch up, only to receive apologetic notes back that are distinctly not in Alastor's handwriting.
After nearly a year Rosie becomes convinced that something unscrupulous is happening at the hotel. So, without giving Charlie or her little gang any forewarning of her arrival, she drops in before they can have a chance to try to hide anything from her. And they are mot definitely trying to hide something from her. Unlike her father, Charlie is not a good liar, nor is her exorcist girlfriend. When Rosie asks where Alastor is they sputter and make excuses before Lucifer cuts in and takes over the conversation. He's much more eloquent than the girls are and easily redirects the conversation, but Rosie can clearly see that he's diverting her attention away from Alastor. She doesn't call him out, however, because what's she going to do? Fight the King of Hell? No, she lets Lucifer take up her time, thanks him for a lovely visit, and leaves when he directs her to. But after walking out the doors she's absolutely certain of one thing; the Morningstars have done something to Alastor. And more than likely, they're keeping him trapped in that very hotel, away from prying eyes.
She goes to Zestial to request his help in liberating her friend.
👀
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A MILD GLIMPSE AT LAENOR AND RHAENYRA.
I do find their dynamic in episode 6 and 7 very interesting, but the first time I watched the show, I did not get what was being communicated between them. Her words to him felt wrong and different with every conversation, and I didn't know why I didn't believe it when the events of episode 7 happened, but I think I do now.
A few things, Laenor does do his duty. They both hold up their end of the bargain it's just unwillingly on his end by the end.
From the start, Laenor is mourning Joffrey in their marriage. That's how it happens. Shortly after, based on age, Jace is conceived with Harwin.
A lot of assumptions seem to be that Laenor and Rhaenyra weren't trying, but I don't think that's it. It seems more likely that they did, and Rhaenyra went after Ser Harwin either way. Because Laenor is being forced to do his duty, I can't imagine him disregarding it. Especially if the deleted scenes are being taken into consideration, but another thing is that Harwin isn't some politically correct decision.
People act as though in the first year of their marriage Rhaenyra needed to be pregnant, but that's not true. It just happened, and I don't see the pregnancy carrying out without some possibility of Jace being Laenor’s, with all eyes on them. The issue was never Laenor not doing his duty. It was that there was no joy in it. Rhaenyra found that with Ser Harwin. That's actual show dialogue.
Laenor in the show doesn't go to Driftmark. In no conversation does it seem as though he has that break from court life. The strength of being a Velayron is taken from him with no noble house Velayron men at the Keep or him being able to go back and prepare himself for his role as heir. This is a world building issue. But also isolated him to the Red Keep unwillingly, it seems.
Then we consider that he cares for Rhaenyra. Ten years later, and he's telling her, "Let's go back, stop making the show of Alicent commands, this is dangerous you're in pain." She disregards him, which is the first of many times we see.
After he's called a cuckold by Alicent, Rhaenyra makes sure he's aware of her dislike of the name Joffrey or him choosing it. I think that scene perfectly analyses their dynamic.
Rhaenyra doesn't like it, Laenor defends it, and she disregards it with something else that's irrelevant in that context. He's playing his role, naming their child, being there at the birth like a happy father would be waiting to meet him, walking with his wife to the king, publicly but quietly doting on her health and taking everything said against him because that is his son but that's not enough for her because in this moment she's upset with him for nsming Joffrey and Alicent.
We see this play out with the "our sons," "are they insinuations" dialogue, and reinforced.
Laenor wants to go to the Stepstones, unaware of the fighting taking place. She says rumours follow their sons, and he asks if they are rumours. This shows his disconnect from the situation at hand. Even a small joke, she discredits from him rightfully but is still isolating for him from their reality. Then, the worst lines from Rhaenyra come out. And I don't know why these are often ignored, but they're based on the characterization of her in her adult years of wanting everything at the cost of nothing because of her position.
She blames Laenor for not being there for them, uses his sexuality and the agreement they had to do so and then makes him stay at her side when he doesn't want to because she thinks it's good for appearances not taking anything he's saying into consideration.
Then we find out that Laenor writes to Laena all the time, it seems because Daemon doesn't want to go back, and Rhaenyra doesn't let Laenor leave. Laenor being restless has been his way, but she kept him at her side. And then Laena dies, and he's crushed.
This is after Rhaenyra finally decides that they can leave for Dragonstone, which is away from all the questions of court, tells him he can bring Quarl and doesn't let him make the decision. We see how upset he is before she tells him of that. Laenor seems to find out about losing Laena on Dragonstone.
Laena is gone, and he's reeling from her loss. He's in the water trying to be near her, grieving. He's getting drunk and can't perform his role, being accosted by Corlys (I know it's Quarl but context clues) for it and is in no position to do anything. He's lost the one person who would be happy for him with this change, the person who he keeps in contact with ten years later. He's distraught.
And Rhaenyra’s conclusion, although based on the fact that she's lost Ser Harwin, is to say he'll be useless to her now.
She sleeps with Daemon, which I won't get into because it doesn't matter right now, but two conversations happen. We see Laenor get drunk, and in Quarl's attempt to go fix his spirits, be completely unaware of the whole Driftmark fight, Rhaenyra sleeping with Daemon or what has occurred with Vhagar and Aemond.
Laenors words to her are I should've been there. I didn't protect Laena, I did not protect you, and there is no comfort. She tells him to sit. They have this conversation, which is his apologies while grieving for his failing and her saying he's a good man with a good heart.
The condition of Laenor in this scene is heartbreaking because of what happens next. He's lost Laena. He's trying to do right by his family, recommiting himself to them, and she suggests he fake kill himself and escape with Quarl. He's confronting their past mistake of thinking that love and marriage are mutually exclusive and knowing his lover is being sent away and that Harwin is dead dedicates himself to Rhaenyra and their boys, wanting to be a family.
But because of Daemon, that's a long gone possibility for her. It's not for him. We don't get to see her, or Daemon or Quarl suggest Laenor leaving, but based on their relationship in the last episodes, he'd simply agree if she said it, reluctantly so.
#hotd#house of the dragon#rhaenyra targaryen#laenor velaryon#laenor and rhaenyra#rhaenyra and laenor#this isnt an anti post#this is more so an introspective one#because i dont think the fandom has a grasp on how complex their relationship is#or how heart breaking Laenor’s position is at this point#the worst for me was hearing him say he didnt love the boys as he should#because he did and i dont think there's an interaction to the contrary
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Why the Anti-Endogenic Community is Harmful
A few things to get out of the way. You can be anti-endogenic and decent, obviously. This is about the issues with the community in general, not about pointing at every single anti-endo ever to call them an ass. Anti-endogenic can mean a lot of things.
And this is about non-DID plurality. I feel like the vast majority of the endogenic community (on Tumblr at least, haven't been on TikTok in over a year) has nothing to do with DID.
The Biggest Issue
At its core the issue is with not respecting a person's identity, their right to self-identify, and to label and talk about their own personal internal experiences. I’m coming from a position where I think it’s wrong to look at a massive group of people reporting relatively consistent experiences and deeming that they’re all actually wrong or outright lying. I also think the implication that hundreds of people come online just to act like systems to be annoying is…. Strange.
I don’t think it’s fair to ask for undeniable proof when the experience is happening internally. I feel like it puts people into a corner where they can’t defend themselves from that standpoint. “Prove to me you’re actually fictionkin”, “prove to me you actually have MaDD”, “prove to me you’re actually a system”, it just leads to the same conclusion. There is nothing they can physically give you, and they shouldn’t have to prove their internal experiences to be respected in the first place (not even believed, the basic respect of being blocked would do).
Telling people they're either secretly traumatised or experiencing psychosis or have tricked themselves into being plural or outright lied to themselves is not a good dilemma to throw at people. Again, in general dictating other peoples internal experiences is just… not cool in the first place.
Lastly, refusing to listen to endogenics on their identity and continuing to spread hate on pre-convinced ideas is a pretty relevant issue. I continue to see takes that alienate endogenics with childhood trauma (talking about them like they can't be traumatised), "transplural" is still used as a "told you so", “trying to have DID” and the refusal to separate endogenic plurality from DID, and overall just pushing assumptions onto the endogenic community around their own identities. I refuse to believe that’s in good faith at all.
It’s Gone Beyond Identity
If it ended at “I don’t believe you're actually plural” it wouldn’t be that much of an issue, unfortunately it’s gone way beyond that. “Endos” are spoken about like they’re a collective piece of shit. I don’t really care about sounding dramatic right now because it’s the truth. Since I’ve been scrolling the anti-endo tags for proof I’ve gotten some on my For You Page, a lot of them reek of hatred. Here’s a post I did where I shared some screenshots on anti-endogenics.
One) Lumping Endogenics in Together
The ‘endo’ community is actually full of different types of plurals who have varying experiences and terms and language. When you see all endogenics as one entity, it’s easier to pin them all for the actions of one and to demonise them. This just reeks of hatred and it borders on bigotry.
Two) Framing Endogenics as Inherently Malicious
Take the “future is plural” backlash. The phrase was never meant to mean “everyone is going to be plural” or “everyone is going to try and give their kids DID”, the same way the phrase “the future is female” doesn’t mean “let's kill all men so there's only women”. Endogenics are framed with causing everything bad in the system community, pretty much. It goes beyond "I don't think endogenics are actually plural" to shit like "endogenics don't care about trauma survivors and go out of their way to fuck shit up."
Three) Just Plain Bullying and Treating Endogenics Like Shit
Again, this isn't just about "I don't believe you can exist" to "I hate the way you identify so much that I don't think you deserve respect or a space".
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Book Jessica x Leto <3
I think one of my favourite things about Jessica x Leto in the Dune book is the fact that they are so secure in their love for each other:
You have Jessica; who is a very well trained Bene Gesserit, who can control every cell in her body, that when it comes to Leto instinctually let's herself feel and emote naturally. (Conceives Alia out of "instinct", cries/breaks down when Leto is in danger/dies, visibly gets upset when people ask her about them getting married etc.)
But Jessica is also very secure in her knowledge that Leto loves her and only her, she says to Hawat that "he'll not marry anyone else, not as long as I live." And she is very confident in that which suggests through words/actions that Leto has assured her of this before.
Similarly with Leto, he's very secure in knowing Jessica loves him and he doesn't consider even for a minute that she is the actual traitor. He says "she's opened/showed her heart to me" and that he "knows her", he also tells Paul himself that he'd sooner distrust himself than Jessica.
And so I think that while we didn't get a lot of them speaking directly to each other in the book, the conversations they have with other characters about their relationship is very telling. There is a sense of communication and deep understanding between them, whether it's verbal/non verbal/physical, that they love each other very much and that they are it for each other.
Then there's an aspect of their relationship that is a bit more tragic to me;
From the start of the book through to the end, even after Leto has died, there is this sense of defence that is constantly surrounding their relationship.
It starts with the Reverend Mother accusing Jessica of having a son purely because of Leto and Jessica has to defend that decision.
Then it's everyone thinking Jessica is the traitor and Leto has to defend her (obvi he gives into the plan for his own schemes but anyway).
Jessica has to defend her love for Leto to Yueh, Hawat, and eventually Gurney later on in the novel. She has to fight off all these accusations and questions about why she hasn't married him or why he didn't marry her.
Paul has to defend his parents' love as well to Gurney when Jessica can't convince him she's not the traitor. (Gurney was a real one for wanting to die for doing that lol.)
And it's really sad that that was something that consistently happened, like after 15/16/17 years they were still having to defend what they had. They were probably very private people and while they did have their own love and understanding of each other, other people just didn't get to see that and so there's this constant sense of protection for both of them for who they love and their family.
And especially for Jessica, who at that point had betrayed the Bene Gesserit more than once, being accused and having to defend her loyalty when everything she had done was out of love for Leto.
There's something so visceral about their story and the way they love each other that really resonates with me idk
#jessleto 4life#you can pry it from my cold dead hands#jessica atreides#jessica x leto#leto atreides#duke leto#dune fanfiction#dune part two#dune#dune movie#dune 2#paul atreides
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The values shield: ethics as defense
In communities that do a lot of talking about ethics of interpersonal relationships, one thing you will unfortunately, inevitably run into is people who use the community's ethical language and frameworks to control others and avoid accountability. There's no language and system that's safe from this; all we can do is learn to recognize when it's happening. I learned most of what I know from hard, damaging experience, and from years of processing those experiences afterward.
Here I'm going to unpack one particular tactic that I call the values shield - using a discussion of principles and values to avoid addressing some need or feeling that the other person has expressed. I'm talking about it specifically in the context of an intimate relationship, but it can definitely apply in other relationship types too, so take "partner" as loosely as you need to.
In a healthy conflict, needs are discussed against other needs, feelings against other feelings. You say "I want this thing because I feel X, Y and Z" and your partner says "I want the opposite of that because I feel Q, R, and S," and then you work together to see how you can best accommodate both sets of feelings.
If instead you say "I want this thing because I feel X, Y and Z" and your partner says "Let's have a rational discussion of whether X, Y and Z are good things to feel, or whether the thing you want will actually get you them, or whether Q, R and S are objectively more important than X, Y and Z" – that is a power play. Whether they admit it or not (they almost certainly won't), the principles they're injecting are in defense of the thing they want, but rather than meeting you on equal ground, direct personal want against direct personal want, they're going to jump to the higher ground of ideals and values. And you can't jump to the same level, even if you're able to think fast enough to dredge up whatever ideals and values would support your position, because you've already admitted you have a personal want on the line.
A pivot to principles when the other person is trying to have their feelings heard and their needs met is adversarial, it's a bid for control, and if exercised regularly in a close relationship it can be a tool of abuse. It makes the person on the receiving end feel diminished, feel that their feelings and needs don't matter unless they can appeal to a higher principle - when actually, if you care about someone, their feelings should matter, full stop. I'll never forget the first time, post-abuse, that I expressed a small, irrational unhappy feeling to a partner and had them immediately say "Oh! Okay! What can we do to make that better for you?" I didn't have to defend or justify it, because my happiness or unhappiness was important all by itself. At that time in my life it was shocking, but that's simply how it should be.
(I'm starting a project of going through some old non-tumblr blogs and re-posting sections I think might be of interest here - this is one of those.)
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In defense of Zenitsu Agatsuma
Alright, we all know Zenitsu is quite a divisive character but his haters are taking their dislike towards him in a disturbingly disproportionate way to the point they pick his flaws and demonize... And their reasons to hate him is either "he's loud and annoying", "he's cowardly and useless", "he's a pervert" or "he forced himself on nezuko" so i'll refute those repetitive arguments because it's getting really tiring
"He's loud and annoying"
He's loud and? So is Inosuke and people dont give him hell for it and many of his lines is him screaming. Rengoku is loud aswell but people dont mind it. They only focus on Zenitsu and it's just unfair and biased because those same people are the same ones who love other louder characters while hating on Zen for it and the excuse it's probably "he's annoying". While the annoyingness depends a lot of the person, they somehow tolerate characters that are way more annoying than him but since Zenitsu is considered as a "loser", they just use him as a scapegoat.
And about being annoying... It's really frustrating that they only tolerate him when he's asleep aka being brave and imo its boring because we have so many characters that fear nothing and are super brave wich gets too repetitive and even boring so to it's quite refreshing to see a character that doesnt show a brave side and has more realistic reactions when encountering demons that are twice his height.
Besides the guy clearly has a lot of issues and unresolved traumas wich are shown with his clinglyness, self esteem issues, etc... sadly the author didnt put much focus and it doesnt go away magic and the fact that his haters are quick to be sympathetic to other Demon Slayer characters who did WAY worse than him but people refuse to try to understand him just show they just care about if a character is cool enough or quiet enough.
"He's cowardly and useless"
Did we watch the same show?? He may be cowardly sure (wich is valid given his circumstances) but calling him useless is a reach. If he was useless; Nezuko would've been killed by Inosuke, the kid he was protecting in the demon drum arc would've died aswell (he had countless of oportunities to ditch the little boy and leave him for dead), the mission in the red light district could've been more complicated, the little girl he defended from Daki wouldnt have her other ear, etc...
Hence, despite being a coward, he still has morals that his haters love to overlook. The guy was terrified of Tengen yet he still did what he could to defend the girls from him, took a nasty blow from Daki just for defending someone, tried to hide Genya from Sanemi, etc without expecting something back. Despite his flaws, Zenitsu is without a doubt one of the most selfless characters in the show but of course, according to dudebros and haters, crybaby=useless.
"He's a pervert"
This one is a valid criticism but sadly, his haters flanderize said flaw to make him some sort of predator, calling him all sort of awful things and even accusing him of stuff he didnt even do. His love for girls can be super weird and he's not a gentleman but they love to overlook all the moments where he genuinely protected girls that aren't only Nezuko and after doing so, he doesn't expect them to be his girlfriend or anything. He even demanded Daki to apologize to the little girl she bullied. If he only cared about women for lust pleasure then many of his kind actions toward them wouldn't even exist in the first place
Besides I find it super hypocritical for people to give Zenitsu hell for his innapropriate behaviour towards girls yet those same people turn a blind eye to Tengen slapping a minor's butt (some even going as far as trying to explain the reason), threw a little girl off the roof without caring if she'd survive or not and almost kidnapping the butterfly girls. Tengen did ALL of this without even apologizing to the girls nor without getting properly punished for said actions (and no, him losing his hand and eye are not direct punishment of his actions but rather unfortunate consequences of the battle). It's just crazy how those same people hold Zenitsu (a teenager) more accountable for his behaviour than Tengen (grown adult) for his smh.
"He forced himself on Nezuko"
Dude has an innocent crush on a girl who treats him well and people act as if he was a terrible and psychopathic guy who didn't cared about her and treated her like garbage. This man would rather suffer than hurt her and see her unhappy, he loves her in a genuine and pure way that goes being "she's cute" and it was shown in his dream. In the light novel, it was confirmed that he doesn't even care that she's a demon, meaning that he loves her regardeless of what she is.
Wich makes all the dumb tweets about Aoi being Nezuko's protector and that someone has to protect her from him. Seriously?? The same guy who saved her twice?? And that scene of him seeing Nezuko in the sunlight is not that serious ffs, he wasnt even too harsh with his movements (he gently held her hands), he was just reaction in a dramatic way and Nezuko wasn't even uncomfortable this whole time. If she were uncomfortable, shown signs that she dislikes him and avoids him then yes, the whole "protect her from Zenitsu" tweets would make sense but nop, it's just a cringey scene that people took it way too seriously. Before you mention me the chasing scene, that was an anime-only scene and in the manga he just bows down to her as he gives her flowers. Nezuko even sees him in a positive light, example:
Anyways that was my rant on Zenitsu, might do more about it in the future
#kny zenitsu#zenitsu agatsuma#demon slayer zenitsu#zenitsu#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer#anything to defend this guy... he gets way too much hate#zennezu#<-i put the ship tag just in case idk
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Vegas’ Failed Smooch
I made a separate post about this earlier, but I want to say it again: I don’t think Porsche has any attraction to Vegas in this episode. The only time I saw Porsche showing any real affection for him was in Ep5 during their motorcycle ride, but I attribute that to Porsche’s broken mental state. He needed someone to be there for him, and Vegas willingly filled that spot. Contrast that to Ep7, where Porsche is in a good place with Kinn--no longer groveling for any kind of stability. He’s curious about Vegas and the way he operates, but he’s also highly suspicious of him (especially after he talked about Porsche’s dream...which, by the way, how could he have even found out about that?). Vegas is psychotic and manipulative, we have enough evidence to prove that, so every interaction with Porsche is built upon his rivalry with Kinn. Kinn knows that and even points it out to Porsche. So, was Porsche really drunk when he was led into the bathroom? I initially thought so, but after reading other people’s thoughts, I’ve changed my mind...slightly. I have some conflicting thoughts on this for a few reasons. Porsche is lucid after Kinn barges in and seems very in control of the situation. BUT, I can’t fathom why he would go with Vegas to the bathroom at all if he’s uncomfortable/highly suspicious of him. Some people have pointed out that maybe it was his way of trying to sus out Vegas’s angle/see what Vegas does when he thinks Porsche is drunk. This seems somewhat plausible to me, but I don’t know what he really hoped to discover by following Vegas while faking drunkenness. He already knows that Vegas has been making advances towards him, so the only thing I can think of is that he wants to see if Vegas is really willing to take advantage of someone when they’re inebriated--thus making him a suspect in Porsche’s drugging. This seems the most plausible to me, but given Vegas’s readiness to torture their enemies, I would think it’s already obvious at this point that he has no problem taking advantage of people and doing what he pleases. We don’t get to see any of the aftermath of this bathroom scene, though, so I think it’s too early to say what Porsche’s thought process was when going with Vegas.
What bothers me about some of the discourse in the tag is the vindication that Porsche didn't reject Vegas hard enough when he started to kiss him, which means he must have some sort of attraction to him. It’s obvious that Porsche is uncomfortable with Vegas’s advances prior to this. He frowns, he looks away...he just generally gives suspicious facial expressions. Porsche recoils when Vegas comes close, but I think he doesn’t forcibly shove him for a few reasons.
1) I genuinely do think Porsche was caught off guard by this. He really shouldn’t have been, given everything, but the way he reacted when Vegas first leaned in makes me think he was majorly confused.
2) Porsche knows Vegas is dangerous. Vegas knows things about Porsche that he shouldn’t know, a.k.a. Grade A creep behavior. Let’s not forget that Vegas also brutally tortured a man in front of the bodyguards without even batting an eye--in fact, he seemed to enjoy it. If I was Porsche, I think I would’ve reacted the same way for fear that he would come unhinged if I tried anything too drastic. Not to say that Porsche can’t take care of himself, but in the moment, I think it makes sense for him to shy away rather than shove.
3) I’m less certain of this last point, but I do think it could’ve played a part: people have come onto Porsche before now without his consent. For him to immediately recoil seems like a reflexive action potentially borne of this previous trauma. Again, not sure about this one, but I don’t think we should completely discount it.
So, we have Vegas getting a much-deserved wallop in the face, followed by some shouts from Kinn and then he storms out. He’s lost this round, because so long as Kinn is around, he can’t make any moves on Porsche. Plus, I think Vegas knows that he’s played it all wrong after confessing to knowing about Porsche’s beach bar dreams. He’s left to regroup and possibly try a different strategy. BUT, in a way, Vegas has also won: he’s planted seeds of doubt in both Porsche and Kinn’s minds, which we certainly haven’t seen the last of. Thankfully, he doesn’t win for long though, as Kinn and Porsche soon reconcile.
#kinnporsche#kinnporsche the series#kinnporsche meta#kinnporsche ep7#look#I can defend a lot of people for a lot of things#But Vegas is straight up evil man#like#I know there's a reason he is the way he is#But that's no excuse to go after Porsche this way#The man is a snake
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Complex feelings about copyright and Disney's appalling ethics aside, it does unsettle me how quickly people jump to make and monetize the most unnerving, depraved content imaginable about characters created for children the second it hits the public domain
#lilac rambles#lilac goes to the movies#look you don't have to defend yourselves to me i don't really care what you do#so please don't flood my inbox with all this stuff about why disney sucks and why gross stuff is good actually#im not here to fight#i get it. they suck and this feels vindicating#i just get unnerved watching people do terrible things to things created for children the second they can#maybe it's bc i don't see anyone making anything...idk...nice? and like...not freaky?#like it really feels like 'haha we're going to defile this creation bc it makes us feel good to destroy something created for families'#bc if it had just been the case with mickey id get it yknow#but people did this with sweet old pooh bear too#but maybe that's bc he's now a disney property idk#like maybe as other famous characters come into the public domain people won't do the same things#and honestly that will make me feel a lot better
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i've been trying to put into words why i don't feel the need to defend taylor against all the bullshit takes that came after the grammys and it's because it doesn't feel loud anymore. i used to write essays about bs like this (remember when people said she was crying because she was mad she didn't win at the 2016 grammys, when ed won?) but now it feels like a bunch of people yelling from a glass box, it doesn't feel like an overall reflection of the public opinion, it doesn't feel like it would knock her over if she were to read it. it's just background noise
#i can also accept that not everything deserves defending and i see where a lot of people are coming from in their criticism of certain#things#to be quite honest my job is so mentally draining that i can't come online everyday and discuss and worry about what celebs are doing
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There's a certain CCCC summary video that we really, really like. We think it is a great video for people if they want to grasp the story more clearly, if they're confused, or if they're listening to the album for the first time.
That video being Chonny Jash and the Weight of the Mind on Youtube by W3tBl@nk3t. We think they cover it really well.
However, I'm sharing this for a different reason; they say few certain things that really struck with us until now, that I'd like to share with the fandom. Sometimes, we see people really just.. Miss the point of CCCC entirely, and I'd like to shine a light on what was said here. If you'd like to hear this for yourself on video, the timestamp is 35:57-36:45.
“..I bet we all could relate to that, they are the prime example of the side of you that suffers and the side of you that hates yourself for suffering:
The side of you that just wants to slow down and feel everything even to the unhealthy extent of not being able to do anything else(1), but also the side of you that so desperately wants you to get over it(2).
Sure, laying in bed all day every day to rot isn't healthy, but neither is boiling things down and invalidating your own emotions. Both are paths to inevitable disaster, and that's what Chonny is doing here. Keep in mind that the idea behind this album is being whole, and that means neither of these sides are entirely in the right or the wrong; this album is about inner compromise and acceptance(3).”
1.) The side of you that suffers; Heart.
He is representative of Whole's emotions, he holds them. Your emotions can go haywire, especially when one's mentally ill and has no way of their feelings being validated. An emotional person like Heart suffers under the weight of crushing, devastating feelings. He wants to feel things out, have time to just process everything, even if it takes them days or weeks to get over it. It's not healthy, but feeling is what he does, and he wants to help because he knows he has importance. Solely focusing on just your emotions isn't the best thing to do, however.
2.) The side of you that so desperately wants you to get over it; Mind.
Many people have been there, have wanted themselves to stop wallowing in their own emotions and just do something else, even to the point where you think feeling things out is unnecessary. This is also unhealthy, but not intentionally. Like Heart, Mind just wants to help, everything he does is in best interest. This is what he thinks will get them to move on the quickest; to leave behind emotions and focus on anything BUT that. Also not the best thing to do.
3.) This album is about inner compromise and acceptance; About being whole.
Neither of Heart and Mind are right nor wrong. They have their own ways of doing things, of what they think will help their whole self out the most, but both are unhealthy despite the good intentions. They fight over who's wrong or right, when they shouldn't even be doing so in the first place. It's your thoughts against your emotions, basically; your feelings contradict your thoughts, and it leads to an inner war of sorts. This won't make things better, which is why you can't have Mind over Heart or vice versa; you'll need both of them. In the album, they are only able to be whole when they get along. They harmonize, they 'combine', they see eye to eye with each other and work together instead of fighting over and over. Inner compromise is achieved with this, and acceptance can lead them away from any disaster that there's to come.
What we're trying to say is that mental health is a large thing tackled within CCCC, and yet we see a lot of people who overlook it; thus, end up missing the point of the whole album. We see a lot of people believe Mind's perspective a little too much and treat Heart quite harshly, or the other way where people demonize Mind and say that Heart is perfect, when it's not really that in the slightest.
This is not a hate post towards people's interpretations of CCCC or how they view characters, I'm just saying that people can tend to overlook what's in the very narrative, and we see a concerning amount of people do such.
Anyways. Stream CCCC and put your Hearts and Minds in the get along shirt. Have a nice day.
#chonny jash#chonnys charming chaos compendium#cccc#cccc heart#cj heart#cccc mind#cj mind#mind chonny jash#heart chonny jash#I did not mention Soul once in this post. I am so sorry to all of the Soul enjoyers#whole was technically mentioned but this is not about him. so sorry to the Whole enjoyers as well#we rreally really really like this CCCC video#a lot#it does a great job at explaining things and is fairly good for an unbiased telling of the story#to reiterate though this is not a hate post#it's just a bit frustrating to see how many people say that mind is right or heart is right#but no.. that is not the point of cccc#and it's even in tse as well. the line 'neither is right yet neither is wrong'#personally we are big fans of heart and will defend him since he gets so mischaracterized#but we know and acknowledge that he isn't 100% correct and can be wrong for what he wants to do and has done#we love Heart but he did not have to pull that gun.#also. more justice for characters who make mistakes but aren't automatically super evil because they're just human.#we've seen how people lack that understanding in the fandom </3#hmsw are so incredibly flawed in a relatable way with such good writing#we feel like people overlook that so much#this post was scary to make but#we're doing it#here goes#CxC rambling and yapping#we haven't posted purely text posts in a while please don't come for our heads c4 fandom
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(x)
(this is a pls stop blaming juliette lewis for nat’s arc and death post <3)
#regardless of whether you loved the death or hated it YOU CAN STOP BLAMING JULIETTE NOW OKAY??#like even people who liked it overall but had qualms the party line is well I’m sure it was juliette leaving early so that’s why xyz#no! it was not! this was the plan <3 and idc if you hate love or nothing it I just think like making these excuses for things is weird#like do I get why some people might have assumed juliette might have left early sure yes but also idk like PEOPLE ARE FALLIBLE#showrunners are fallible! and that’s OKAY! they’re PEOPLE! and you CAN love every choice they make but jumping through hoops#to find *reasons* for the things you didn’t like is so interesting to me cause like…it’s okay!!! they can do a little thing you didn’t love!#you can even SAY you didn’t love it if you want and that’s okay too! or not! but stop blaming juliette lewis for whatever you didn’t like#also the rest of the article is an interesting read!#now I’ll do conjecture and tell you it is CONJECTURE for sure okay disclaimer#but after reading this article I think it is even possible Juliette’s anger with nats arc was partially BECAUSE she knew her death was soon#like maybe! who knows! not us! but I don’t even know how I became this hardcore juliette defender bc honestly I dosagree w her on a lot lol#but like I’ve seen people say oh she’s difficult and she made them do this and she’s a problem and she always does this#HELLO??? stop blaming women for shit baselessly??#(if you casually wondered if maybe she wanted to leave and didn’t say it like it was fact or use it to pin blame on her for stuff…#…this isn’t directed at you)#but some people got VICIOUS#juliette lewis#natalie scatorccio#yellowjackets
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To trust somebody
#kirby#kots#kirby of the stars#kirby fanart#hoshi no kirby#Galacta Knight#the dam has broken and now all of my content will be Galacta Knight for the foreseeable future#i apologize for the inconvenience#anyway i wanted to elaborate on Galacta's trust with Kirby#because you may or may not have noticed but Galacta has trust issues#one day you're saving the galaxy and the next day the ancients are showing you this new apartment that's shaped a lot like eternal prison#what did the other heroes do? did they defend Galacta at all? were they the ones who went against Galacta?#they have been used for fighting practice or cannon fire for as long as they can remember now#when you're capable of destroying entire galaxies that's the only thing you're seen as#now comes kirby#in the novels Kirby hates fighting without reason#and they hate fighting a fight the people involved aren't enjoying#meta knight and Kirby fight a lot over this#meta knight wants to prove he's tough shit Kirby doesn't want to fight#and the more the novels go the more tired Kirby gets of only being seeing as a powerful thing you fight to prove your worth#Kirby gets really really annoyed by the battle Royale novel they are actively annoyed by meta knight's presence#the stronger warrior novel comes and when Kirby discovers Meta Knight did all of that shit to be able to fight Galacta Knight just because#they get so tired and pissed off#they're all talking about how they will all die if Galacta defeats meta knight and Dedede is begging Kirby to intervene Kirby just says no#1- because they don't wanr to fight so they won't#2- because this is meta knight's dumb problem he caused so why should they solve it#and third and almost most importantly 3- Kirby doesn't feel it would've been fair to Galacta Knight#the thing is Kirby is really relating to Galacta Knight here and just feels sorry for them when everyone else is terrified#Galacta was summoned from who knows where- released- beaten up- and then imprisoned again- just because Meta Knight felt like it#so i feel like the first person Galacta would trust is Kirby they're just akin to each other
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It’s come to my attention that a lot of people in the BES fandom are new to fandom-culture in general (or lack there of; we denizens of tumblr are residents of a cesspool) and don’t know a lot of general old school online manners, laid down in Days of Yore by earlier generations. So let me bring up a crucial one that is generally being ignored on tumblr in the BES-sphere: ship tagging!
I am not doing this to condescend, I genuinely want to be helpful and to help us all enjoy our enclosure and our enrichment in said enclosure together. I think a lot of grief going around the blue eye samurai world on social media could be solved if everyone remembered one good old cardinal rule of fandom bullshit:
you do not put ship wank in a ship’s general tag.
let me say that one more time in different terms:
If you want to rant about how much you hate a ship, general practice has always been, on tumblr anyway, not to do so in the safe space created for said ship.
once again, lemme be very clear; I don’t give one rat’s ass or 800 collective asses of rats what you ship, why you ship it, whether you ship anything at all, why you hate x y z, etc. That’s great, that’s what fandom is for! Enjoy yourself! The issue is that there’s all this infighting fuckery going on that is exhausting to even watch from the sidelines, and I think there’s a lot of confusion as to why anyone is fighting over any of this shit at all as it is 2024 and ship wars are 2011 superwholock garbage that we all collectively agreed to jettison into space by 2015, ya feel me?
(and if you like to start shit and throw hands then obv this post isn’t for you as you know what you’re doing, this is for the folks who don’t know and are confused as to why they can’t rant without blowback)
So if you’ve gotten on tumblr recently and noticed your anti-ship post blowing up for some reason or other and asked yourself “Jesus why are these assholes from that ship always coming for me?? They’re such dicks!!” ask yourself:
did I tag them in my post?
Because when you tag a ship in a post about how much you hate it, it’s not a beacon that says “Hear Ye Hear Ye, Interacteth Not Ye Fuckos From Ship I Hate, This Is About How Much I Hate Your Ship”. For that to be the case, you would need old-school anti-ship tag nomenclature, like this: #anti-[shipname] or #[shipname] wank. Those tags would communicate your intent to rant, which is your sacred fandom right to enjoy doing! It is not, however, your sacred fandom right to enjoy doing it in the wrong space, that’s what’s happening here. A post that tags a ship with its normal tag, but whose content is anti/wank content about said ship, sends the signal: “ayyooo, who would like to debate this with me?”
So, does all that make sense? If you tag your post analyzing all the reasons why you think a ship sucks with #ship, you are encouraging everyone who ships that ship to interact with your post. It’s like rocking up to somebody’s house, ringing the doorbell, and saying “I hate your fugly ass piece of shit house, asshole” and then getting irritated when the homeowner responds with “who the fuck are you, get off my lawn?!”
#anti-[shipname], #[shipname] hate (forgot about that one, also useful), and #[shipname] wank do two very useful things:
1) They let other people who want to gleefully rant with you know that you’re on the level and they give like minded individuals a chance to follow those tags so you can have more rant sessions together, and
2) they minimize likelihood of involvement by the shippers you’re ranting about, who can block the tag, while keeping the ship’s normal tag open for the people who enjoy it
tldr; *swordfather voice* it would be bitchin if people could stop bitchin in the wrong places so that we can all coexist like adults here, touch some grass, and chill. Tag ship hate #anti-[shipname], #[shipname] wank, or #[shipname]-hate and keep it out of the general pro-ship tags :)
if your response to this is “don’t tell me what to do, cuntwaffle” or “I have an unhealthy relationship with the idea of shipping and think no one should have a safe environment to enjoy media except me and people I agree with so I will continue to poison the waters” then ok, cool beans, keep on chooglin’; but know that everytime you walk into a tea party you weren’t invited to and yell I HATE YOUR FUCKING TEA YOUR TEA SUCKS ASS blowback is a bit inevitable
#PSA for anybody who needs to hear it#blue eye samurai#bes netflix#netflix blue eye samurai#am I probably gonna get some nasty comments for this? sure whatever but if at least one person who is#tired of fighting in their text posts and inbox sees this and realizes they can tag things in a way#that lets them avoid a fight then hey my job is done#and if most of yall are just starting shit to start shit then ok just thought I’d check in#because there’s a lot of complaining about people defending the stuff they like in this fandom#and if you’re needling people I’m not sure why you think they won’t pushback#no needling no fighting. everybody be chill. good god yall. it’s a show for adults can we be adults please.#shipwars are for children this is embarrassing why’d so many people in this fandom drink gallons of haterade
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