#I am not a child hater if I see a little kid cry I’ll cry inside too | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jisungsplatforms · 3 years

Text

Sunflower

Pairing: Lee Felix x gn! reader

Genre: angst, fluff; Hanahaki au, college au, non idol au, (mutual) pining

Warnings: language, tiny tiny spoilers & allusions to some of my other fics if you squint hard enough. Some elements of Seungmin x reader (platonic), passing out in school, idk what else really, i guess getting caught making out by a doctor?

Note: this does NOT portray Stray Kids’ true personalities. This is all purely FICTIONAL

(Page III)

Sunflower:

“Tall, cheery flowers that symbolizes

adoration, loyalty and longevity

These charming beauties are know for being the “happiest” flowers in the world.”

Lee Felix.

If anyone could describe the guy, they’d say he’s sweet, bubbly, cute, fun, laid back. The type of guy who’d treat you like you’re royalty, but won’t hesitate to scold you if necessary. The guy you’d rely on when you need a shoulder to cry on. The guy who’d go through the ends of the earth to make you happy. The guy who could light up a building with just his smile.

But to you. You would describe him as:

The stunningly beautiful man who sits beside you in class every single day whom you’ve had a crush on for the past two years, whose presence always makes your day when you see him and would kill to be the reason of his insanely cute smiles and want nothing more than for him to be yours and vise versa.

Okay, yeah, a little lengthy, but you get the jist.

You sighed, turning to face the window a table away from you. Outside, you can already see the field of flowers nearby the classroom (courtesy of the environmentalist club at your school). Looking at the sea of colorful beauties always made you feel at peace inside, especially the tall sunflowers that had its own little field that you absolutely adored.

“Hey, Y/n?”

Speaking of sunflowers.

You turned your head to look straight into Felix’s glimmering doe eyes. You felt your heartbeat race when he gave you an adorably tiny grin.

“So, I’ve been meaning to ask, and your answer, by the way, will affect our friendship okay?” he trailed off, putting his phone down beside him. Your eyes widened at his choice of words. Is this it? This is it. OMG. THE Lee Felix is asking me out on a date! you thought giddily, already planning out your “date” in your head. “This is a question I’ve wanted to ask you for a while so,” Felix let out a little sigh, making your heart pound in anticipation, before continuing, “are you a pineapple pizza hater?”

...What?

Your shoulders were slumped in disappointment but was quickly replaced in confusion once you let your mind dwell on the question he asked you. “Huh? What? How does this affect our friendship?”

“Come on, just answer! I gotta know!”

You huffed out a small giggle, turning to face him even more. But before you could reply to his silliness, the bell rang.

“Oh! Wait, nevermind, looks like I gotta go now, Y,n,” he said as he packed his stuff into his bag. “I needa run home first then meet up with you and Seungmin later. I’ll see you then, yeah? Just answer my question later.”

“Uh...Yup! We’ll talk more later,” you said, starting to pack up your own things, “See you!”

“Bye bye!” Felix gave you a cute smile as he waved goodbye.

“I’m pathetic.”

You let out a despondent sigh, your body hunched over the coffee shop’s table while Seungmin quietly consoled you as he pitifully strokes your back.

“I mean, granted, you wouldn’t be so mopey if you, i don’t know, ask him out instead?” he said, not even looking up from his phone. You shot your head up to look at him in disbelief.

“And risk ruining my friendship with the greatest person who has ever lived? No thank you.”

Seungmin rolled his eyes and finally looked at you. “Don’t be so dramatic, you big baby. It won’t be the end of the world if you rejects your offer.”

You snarled at him. “Maybe not YOUR world, mine, however, would literally be decimated into little particles of dust, Seungmin dear.” You smacked your forehead back down to the table after your little personal dramatic monologue.

He shook his head in disapproval, clicking his tongue. “Sheesh. Drama queen,” he muttered to himself.

“I heard that, you jerk.”

“Good. ‘Cause it’s true. You need to suck it up and ask the ‘love of your life’ out on a date or so help me, I will drive you both to the middle of nowhere so you can sort out your feelings for each other.”

You moved your head again to face him with a pout. “And you say I’m the drama queen.” Seungmin only huffed in annoyance.

“Do something about it, or I will, Y/n. I’m serious!”

“Okay! Okay!” you said defeatedly. “I’ll get to it. Don’t worry.”

“You better,” he said, sternly, pointing his finger at you like how a mother would scold their child. His next sentence, though, you couldn’t quite catch. “I’m sick and tired of counseling you both like love sick puppies.”

You sigh for the umpteenth time today, slumping on your chair. The dainty bell handing on the entrance jingled, indicating a new customer. From your right, you could hear a cute but deep giggle. Then felt warm hands on each of your shoulders

“Aww, why’s my little cutie so pouty now?”

You did a literal double take hearing Felix call you ‘cute’, face heating up as you looked up at him. Seungmin gave you both the look before composing himself.

“What took you so long, Lix?” Seungmin questioned the blond. Felix pulled out a chair beside you to sit.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” he said, rubbing his nape, “Had to help mum out with something. It’s nothing bad though, don’t worry about it.”

“Hmm. If you say so,” you replied, “Let’s just work on some assignments, yeah?”

Several hours later, it was starting to get dark, so the three of you called it a night. You all gathered up your things as you talked.

“Oh, by the way, I might not be able to meet up with you guys tomorrow,” Seungmin announced. “Might be busy. Just to let you know.”

Felix was the first to reply. “Mhmm, that’s fine. We’ll just see you at school.”

“Yup.”

The three of you left the coffee shop, giving each other a quick ‘goodbye’. You and Felix walk in the same direction while Seungmin goes the opposite way. The two of you walked in silence for a while, enjoying each other’s company. You hummed a little tune amidst your walk home. You didn’t notice the adoring smile Felix was giving you.

“You have a beautiful voice,” he whispered. You glanced at him before turning your head down, feeling yourself get flustered.

“Thank you,” you responded, “you know, you have quite a beautiful voice too, Lix.”

Felix could feel the butterflies swarming in his stomach at your compliment. “No, no. It’s not the best, but thank you!”

You turned your head to face him again, a little shocked that he would doubt himself. “You serious? Dude, you have like this rich, deep ass voice when you talk but when you sing? It's like...”

Felix waited for you to find the right words to describe him.

“... I don’t really know how to describe it with just words but it's the best thing I’ve ever heard with my own ears! It’s like being blessed by god himself when I hear you. I could lose myself just listening to you sing.”

He was taken aback. Singing was something he was shy about, so hearing how much you love his own made his heart flutter. He smiled so widely, his eyes turned into little crescents.

“Thank you, Y/n,” Felix giggled. Hearing that, you felt yourself get embarrassed, realizing how you got a little carried away.

“You’re welcome.”

You didn’t even notice that you were already at your house. Dejectedly, you turned to bid Felix goodbye, even though you didn’t want to.

“Bye, Y/n! See you in our ‘date’ tomorrow!” he laughed half-jokingly. Only then did you realize that it was just going to be you and Felix tomorrow. You froze, a little panicked.

“Uh- yeah! See ya’!” you said hurriedly, making a beeline to the inside of your house. Once you made it to the door, you turned your body in a 60° angle to wave goodbye, to which he returned. You stumbled with your keys for a while before finally unlocking the door. You swear you could hear Felix chuckling at your blunder. You gave him an awkward smile before slamming the door shut.

You threw your bag onto the floor, sighing as you slid down the door. You held your forehead in embarrassment. “What is wrong with me?”

It was now after your last class for the day. You made your way to the coffee shop you, Seungmin, and Felixi usually go to do homework. You were beyond nervous. It was just going to be you and Felix, aka the love of your life, on a little table together for the next 3-4 hours.

Damn you, Seungmin, you cursed inwardly.

Speaking of Seungmin, you could see his figure two stores down from where you were supposed to meet up. You hurriedly jogged up to him to talk.

“Hey, Min! Kim Seungmin!”

He turned around at the sound of your voice.

“Hi, Y/n,” he greeted, “aren’t you supposed to be with Lix right now?”

“I’m on my way there now.” Looking at his hands, you noticed the small bouquet of Chrysanthemums in them. “Ooh...Who’s that for?” you asked like the nosy person you are.

Seungmin glanced down before looking at you a little awkwardly. “It’s, uhm, for my dead friend.”

You widen your eyes in shock. “Oh my gosh. I am so sorry!”

“No, no. It’s fine. You didn’t know. It’s okay, really!”

“I still feel bad though...”

“Hey. I told you, it’s okay. It’s no big deal.”

You hummed awkwardly, not knowing what to say other than apologizing. Somewhere in your mind, you really wanted to ask what happened to his friend, but decided not to in fear of offending him in any way. However, Seungmin seemed to read you. “Hey, Y/n, have you heard of the Hanahaki Disease?”

You looked in confusion. “Hantahapki? What’s that?”

“Hanahaki. It’s this disease you get from unrequited love that makes you cough a crap ton of flowers until you die.”

“Ohh man. That sounds terrible.”

“It is. That’s actually how my, uh, friend died.”

“Oh, Seungmin…”

Seeing your closest friend so upset made your heart ache. You stepped closer to him, being mindful of the bouquet, to give him a hug. Seungmin sighed in content, returning the hug. “Thanks. I need that,” he said quickly, burying his face to your shoulder.

“Of course, Min. You’re always there for me, let me return the favor, even if it’s just a hug.” You could feel Seungmin tightening his hold on you. He whispered a quiet “thank you” before letting go.

“Now go to your date with lover boy,” he said, smiling, “don’t keep him waiting. Nevermind me.”

You chuckled as well, waving goodbye. “Yeah, yeah. Bye, Seung!”

You walked a couple more steps til you arrived at your destination. Inside, you could already see Felix inside on his phone. You stepped inside, greeting the barista as you went in, walking to where Felix was. You dropped your bag in front of him, startling him a little.

“Hey,” you greeted with a smile.

“Hey,” He gave you a sweet smile.

You slid inside your side of the booth and got started on your work. For the first two hours, the two of you talked and talked. At one point, Felix mentioned the sunflowers that you both always see outside the window of your only shared class. Your eyes lit up.

“Oh my god. I LOVE them so much!” you gushed. “They’re so lovely and bright and tall too, like how the heck are they so tall? Honestly, how could you not love sunflowers!” Remembering a small little trivia about them, you beamed. “Did you know that sunflowers are known as the happiest flowers in the world? That’s why they’re the perfect gifts to give to friends!”

“Ohh really now?” Felix chuckled at your enthusiasm.

“Man, I have to thank my friend for convincing her club’s president to plant them! Seeing them everyday is, like, the one of the only reasons why I come to class everyday.”

He giggled at the dreamy look on your face. “I really like you, Y/n,” he said adoringly. “You should see how cute you look right now.”

Your heart swelled in delight. You were in such a shock, you didn’t know how to react. Your palms felt sweaty on your lap. However, your glee was shattered into a million pieces by his next sentence.

“I’m so glad to have you as a friend!” Felix adds.

A friend. What a terrible title it was.

Even though you were heartbroken to the core, you still didn’t show it on your face. Instead, you gave him the biggest, yet fakest, smile you could muster, ignoring the heaviness in your chest.

“I’m glad that we’re friends too, Felix,” you lied, voice nearly cracking at the word ‘friends’. Felix gave you a small smile before going back on his phone. In that moment, you really wished you didn’t see the familiar name that plagued his notifications. You could hear the keys on his phone clicking as he texted someone in the background, but that could be barely heard over the sound of your heart shattering.

If someone could hear your thoughts, they would say that you were being over dramatic, but you would beg to differ. Felix was the first guy you’ve ever had a crush on. Sure, you’ve found people attractive before, but no one has ever made your heart flutter the way this sweetheart of a man does. In the middle of your thoughts, Felix called out your name.

“Y/n? Hey, Y/n?”

“Hm, wha-?” you said, kind of in a daze.

“Sorry, I have to cut our session short. Something kinda came up.”

“Oh...Oh sorry. Uh, go ahead, I’ll just stay behind to work on a little more work.”

“You sure?” he looked at you worryingly. He tried reaching over to touch your hand, but you dodged it stealthily. Your hands swiftly went back to your laptop to type.

“Yeah. It’s okay. Go for it.”

His worried stare lingered a little longer than expected before he slowly packed his things. “Thanks,” he murmured. He slid out of his booth once he was finished, grabbing his phone on the table. “Bye, Y/n,” he said quietly with a strained smile, one you didn’t notice since you were trying your best to not look at him in fear of breaking down.

“Bye,” you said, flatly. You listened to his footsteps get quieter as he left the shop. Only when you heard the bell on the door jingle, indicating that he left, did you let out your emotions. You smacked your head onto the table and let your tears fall. Pathetic, so pathetic, you thought. You tried your best to cry silently, out of respect for the other customers in the shop and your dignity. It was a little embarrassing that you were crying in a public area, but you couldn’t bring yourself to be care about it.

The pressure in your chest was getting heavier and heavier. Thinking it was just a mere cough wanting to make its way out of your esophagus, you let yourself do so, angling your head away from the outside. The pressure, however, was heavier than you expected, so you continued hacking your lungs out. Forcing yourself to stop, you slowly lifted your head to drink your water to relieve your now sore throat. Through blurry eyes, you could see several yellow petals underneath you.

Are those...sunflower petals? you panicked, seeing how there weren’t any sunflowers, real or fake, in the coffee shop. Your eyes widened when you remembered your conversation with Seungmin a few hours ago.

Shit…

“What do you mean you got the Hanahaki Disease?!” Seungmin exclaimed. He stared with eyes so wide, you were afraid that they might pop out of his sockets. You almost wanted to laugh hearing him so surprised if the situation wasn’t so grim. You fiddled with your fingers, nervous to meet your other friend’s eyes. Taking a deep breath, you looked to see Seungmin’s horrified expression.

“I-I don’t know how! It just- I just started coughing out sunflower petals after he told me how happy he was that we are friends!”

Seungmin’s look of shock instantly changed into one of pity. “Oh...So he rejected you, huh?”

You nodded slowly, mumbling, “Yeah. Indirectly...” Seungmin hummed sadly, scooting closer to you to side hug you.

“I’m sorry, Y/n,” he murmured, rubbing your arm. You leaned your head onto his shoulder, pouting. “But, maybe you still have a chance? You did say indirectly so maybe he still doesn’t know that you like him and might change his answer.”

“Yeah, sure. As if the sunflower petals coming out of my mouth isn’t a clear indication of Felix not returning my feelings isn’t obvious enough.”

“Hey! Anything could happen!”

“I guess...I just...I don’t know. I can’t really think straight right now,” you groaned, moving your head from Seungmin’s shoulder to his lap. He leans back onto the couch, relaxing his back against his couch.

“I told you, Y/n. Anything could happen. It won’t hurt to try, right?” he said, patting your head.

“I guess,” you pouted, sighing as you closed your eyes to relax. “Love sucks, doesn’t it, Min?”

Seungmin laughed through his nose, a tiny grin playing on his lips. “I wouldn’t say it sucks, per say, but yeah. It’s hard, isn’t it?”

“Sometimes I wish that I can’t love anymore, you know? So I don’t have to go through the pain of heartbreak ever again,” you paused before continuing. “I’ve done a little research before you came but, it said that I can actually achieve that if I surgically remove the disease from me.”

The room stayed quiet for a while before you continued. “Maybe... I should do it.” Even through closed eyes, you could tell Seungmin was taken aback by your words. He stopped rubbing your head, his whole body stiff. “Min?” you whispered, opening your eyes to see the look of disappointment on his face.

“Don’t say that, Y/n. Ever,” he sighed as he sat up on the couch, urging you to sit up too. “I know you’re hurting. Trust me. I’ve been through it too. But this isn’t something you should decide on the whim.”

He grabbed your shoulders, a little tighter than anticipated. “Talk to Lix first before you make your final decision. Don’t make this one of the things that you’ll end up regretting.”

You look down, biting your lip to control the frown that was threatening to show. You knew, deep down, that he said this as your friend; as someone who wants the best for you, but your emotionally unstable mind warped it to say otherwise. You rolled your eyes, clicking your tongue. “What do you know? You’ve never been in love before.”

Seungmin’s eyes widened. He was upset that you’d say such a thing to him. Being the rational person he is, he knew that you just said that out of despair, but it still hurt him nonetheless. He let go of your shoulders, moving them to his lap instead. Looking up to see his sad face was the exact moment you realized you messed up.

“Min, I-”

He cut you off by standing up, brushing off your hand that was about to touch his arm. Silently, he walked out of the living room, grabbing his coat.

You felt a wave of panic within your body. “Hey, Seungmin! I’m sorry! I didn’t-”

“You didn’t mean it, I know, Y/n,” he replied coldly, his back still facing you. “I know you’re just upset right now, and I forgive you for that.”

Seungmin sighed, turning only his face to look at you. “But that doesn’t give you any right to be rude to me, to any one, actually. I just wanted you to think about it more. As someone who has experience.”

Your shoulders slumped, only realizing now the real reason why he was so hurt by you. “I’m...so sorry, Seungmin. I forgot. I- That was insensitive of me. I really didn’t…”

He finally turned his whole body around, the weak smile he was giving you fed your guilt even more. “I told you, I forgive you, Y/n.” Without another word, he opened your front door to let himself out. He tells you one last thing before shutting the door. “Just promise me that you’ll talk to him before you do anything stupid, okay?”

You slumped further into the couch in shame. You couldn't bring yourself to cry like you wanted to, the day being emotionally draining for you to handle. “I promise,” you whisper to yourself. You closed your eyes, opting to fall asleep on the couch for tonight.

You rubbed your hands together as you walked aimlessly on the streets. After locking yourself in your dark house the whole day, you went out into the busy, afternoon streets to treat yourself. You were feeling a bit cranky seeing how you haven’t eaten anything yet, but not knowing what you wanted to eat. You let yourself wander a little more until you remembered something Felix had mentioned to you yesterday.

“There’s a new café that opened just last week. We should go there together soon!”

You walk into the direction of the café, wanting a “preview” of the food there. Arriving there, you note the pastel colors painted the walls, instead of the boring browns and greys most cafés are. You peeked through the window, debating whether you should wait for the other two boys or not. Looking around, you note a familiar mop of blond strands hunched over another figure on the other side of the shop.

Your heart dropped when you recognized the yellow sweater he was wearing, the same sweater you bought him for his birthday last year. Your eyes weren’t deceiving you, it really was Felix and his “best friend” in there, shamelessly hugging each other. You wanted to run away, you thought that they were too intimate to be just friends at this point. However, Seungmin’s advice haunted you from running. Now, you were determined to ask them what their stance in their relationship is and to confess to Felix this instance.

If only it was that easy for you. You stopped once you saw Felix turn his head to kiss the top of their head. Tears filled your eyes. No longer did you need to ask, it was already obvious to you. They’re together.

You turned around and walked, borderline running, away from the café. Not feeling the need to eat anymore, you ran all the way home. Once in a while, you stopped to rid yourself of the damned petals invading your lungs. If only you paid attention enough to notice the red petals that surrounded the two.

You slumped yourself against your door, once you arrived home. Everything around you looked...blurry. You couldn’t focus anymore. The only thing you can see are the bright yellow sunflower petals scattered around your floor. You clicked your tongue, shaking and laughing at the irony. The flower that you once adored and cherished is now the bane of your existence. You hopelessly kicked the petals away from you, your anger bubbling even more when they flew back to you.

Groaning, you stood up to mope on your couch instead, face planting the moment your knees hit the arm of it. You let yourself wallow in despair for almost 10 mins before remembering about the tap that was still open on your laptop. Scrambling to get up, you nearly tripped yourself on your way to your room. You opened your laptop and clicked on the tab labeled ‘The Onesided Love Syndrome’. You reread the information on the website.

“The Hanahaki disease is a rare, deadly illness born from unrequited love. When contracted, first, the infected’s throat will begin to fill up with flowers. Then, they will proceed to cough up, or even emesis, the petals. Eventually, their lungs will fill up with the fully bloomed flowers and will suffocate, ultimately leading to their demise,” you read out loud, feeling yourself get anxious. “It can only be cured in two ways. Patient must surgically remove the flower from their lungs, which will result in the patient losing all (romantic) feelings of love altogether. Patient’s love must be returned romantically...otherwise it will result in...death.”

You stayed silent. You were contemplating if you should do the procedure. You didn’t want to die but you knew that there was no other option. Felix was a taken man, and you had to accept that. However, your mind keeps going back to Seungmin and his saddened face. You turned your head to look at your phone, the screen lighting up to reveal a picture of you, Seungmin, and Felix.

You were smiling wide with your teeth showing in the picture while Seungmin had a small, dorky smile on his face. Your eyes lingered in Felix’s face. He was smiling with his teeth as well. Only he looked cuter than you with his freckles decorating his delicate face. The ambiance of the picture felt so warm as opposed to the cold, lonely room you were in. You hunched yourself over your bed to cough out the petals.

You grimaced with teary eyes, hating how it felt like you were throwing up. You got up, purposely stepping on the sunflower petals, to get a cup of water. I’ll wait. I’ll wait to make the right decision.

You have successfully avoided Felix for the past week. It’s been 5 days since you’ve seen Felix and his lover in the café. 5 days since you’ve talked to Felix. Your chest hurt, yeah, every time you avoided him, but your chest would hurt even more if you actually did interact with him.

You walked past your next class, the class that you and Felix shared. You only had that class for 2 days of the week, so you didn’t feel bad skipping it. Not like I liked that class anyways. You were already 2 classes away when you heard your name being called.

“Y/n!”

You walked faster, your heart pounding when you recognized the voice. “Y/n! Hey!” Holding your bag closer to you, you started sprinting down the hall, getting weird looks from the people you passed. Seemed like Felix wasn’t going to let you out easy, he started chasing after you. You tried running faster when his voice started becoming louder.

Felix, being the surprisingly athletic man he is, easily caught up to you, firmly but gently gripping your shoulder. “Y/n! I’ve been wanting to talk to you!” he panted harshly. You were out of breath too, but tried your best to refrain yourself from gasping for air, in fear of triggering the disease. You stayed quiet, not making eye contact with him.

“So, what’s up, Y/n? Why have you been avoiding me?”

Shock ran throughout your body, not expecting him to cut to the chase so fast. You made a little glance at him to see the sad expression on his face. You quickly looked away before he could catch you.

“Are you okay? Did I do something wrong? What’s happening to you?”

You hate it. You hate how caring he is. You hate the worried look on his face. You hate the way he holds you so gently. And you especially hate the way your heart flutters at the way he’s basically telling you that he misses you. You mustered up the strength to look at him in the eyes. “Nothing,” you said coldly, surprising both Felix and yourself.

“Nothing, huh? Then what’s up with you avoiding me then?” Felix asked with a stern tone. He stared at you with a soft but sad look, making you feel guilty for hurting him like this.

You murmured, “I told you it’s nothing, Felix. Just- leave me alone.”

Felix was surprised by your loftiness. He, however, chose to ignore it. “Fine. Don’t tell me what’s wrong. But at least tell me what’s up with you and Seungmin!”

“What about me and Seungmin?”

“You’re avoiding him too! And he looks like he doesn’t wanna see you either. What’s wrong, Y/n? You know you can trust me, right?” Felix moved his hand from your shoulder to your cheek. He caressed with his thumb while he muttered, “I care about you.”

Your face grew warm from the sudden intimacy. His face was unnecessarily close to yours, his warm breath fanning against your lips. His eyes were filled with so much emotion, it made your head dizzy. You wanted to kick yourself for leaning into his touch. You were so caught up in the moment that you couldn't bring yourself to push him away when his face leaned closer to yours. Fortunately, or unfortunately, Felix’s phone rang. Using the opportunity, you immediately pushed him away, missing the flash of pain on his face.

Slowly, he answered. Hearing him say the name you last wanted to hear, you could feel the sunflower petals making their way up your throat. From the corner of your eyes, you could see Felix’s face grow panicked. He then started calling out their name with such urgency that it made you feel a little panicked as well. Felix hung up then turned to you with a scared face. Even if you were jealous and annoyed that your moment was interrupted, that was still someone who was dear to Felix’s heart; someone who needed Felix.

“Go,” you said gently, “They need you. You care about them too, right?”

Without another word, Felix nodded, turning to run out of the school as fast as he could. Your heart ached the smaller his figure became. No longer could you contain the petals from spewing out of your mouth. You covered your mouth and coughed harder than you expected. Unlike the past few days, this couch was stronger. This time, you felt like you couldn’t stop. You coughed and coughed, grabbing the attention of a few people.

You felt lightheaded. You had a feeling that you would pass out. Right as your vision turned blurred, you could feel someone place their hands on your back and chest. “Y/n?! Y/n! Hang in there!”

“Seung...min?”

“Y/n!”

You opened your eyes, feeling heavy. Your body ached, it was like you fell from the top of a 80 story building. Feeling something, or someone, holding your hand, you turned your head to see Seungmin resting half of his body on your bed.

Wait.

This isn't my bed? You slowly sat up and looked around. Seeing the white walls, suspended tv, and the heart monitor by your side, you confirmed that you were in the hospital. Looks like Seungmin took me here.

You felt Seungmin grip your hand tighter, stirring a bit before sitting up. His eyes met yours. “Hi,” he said quietly, squeezing your hand again.

“Hi,” you whispered back.

“You feeling okay?”

“Yeah but...I didn’t...You didn’t make me-”

Seungmin knew what you were trying to ask, like usual. “No. I didn’t. I wanted you to make the decision yourself.” You sighed in relief, falling back onto the comfort of the hospital bed. You stared up at the white ceiling as Seungmin stared at you.

“The doctor scanned you while you were unconscious,” he said.

“Yeah? What did he say?”

“He diagnosed you; said you had the disease for about a week now, which I told him that we already knew.”

You hummed, acknowledging that you were listening.

“Then he told me-“ Seungmin hesitated, trying to find the right words to use.

You sat up again, staring him down. “He told you, what?”

He sighed heavily. “I’m sorry but, you only have about a month left to live.”

“Wh-Wha? Huh?” you were scared. Only one month? “But I thought- I thought I’d have a little more time than that! One month only? How-?”

“It’s an unpredictable disease, Y/n. I know it’s only a short time left, but I still wanted you to talk to Lix first before you do it.”

You bit your lip to stop yourself from tearing up. “I kinda talked to him already- he’s kinda the reason why my petals went haywire. There’s nothing to talk about anymore, Min.”

“Yeah, but-”

“Besides. He needed to go to- you know. I didn’t wanna stop him from going, it sounded urgent.”

“Oh!” Seungmin gasped, “Luckily you said that! Felix is actually here.”

“...What?”

“Yup! Apparently they have the Hanahaki Disease too and their petals went haywire, like yours did. They just finished the surgery not that long ago!”

“Hanahaki…? But, how? I thought that they were together?”

“That’s why I keep telling you to talk to him,” he said, placing his free hand on your knee. “I’ll call him?”

You nodded your head, not trusting your voice. Seungmin let’s go and stands up. “I’ll be fast.” He jogged out of the room, leaving you alone with your confused heart.

About 10 minutes later, there was a knock. You looked up to see a tear-stained face Felix and a breathless Seungmin at the entrance. “I’ll leave you guys now,” Seungmin announced, patting Felix’s shoulder and muttering a good luck to both of you.

Felix cautiously walked inside, his eyes on the floor. He wordlessly sat on the chair Seungmin sat on. The two of you stayed quiet, not having the guts to look at each other.

“So, you too, huh?” Felix’s voice rang out. You turned to find him already staring at you. Different kinds of embarrassment flooded your mind.

“What? About me liking you too or about the Hanahaki thing?”

His face looked confused at the first thing you said. “Uh, both?” he said with uncertainty. “Wait. ‘Too’ as in, you knew I liked you, or-?”

“You like me...too?” Now you were confused as well. “Wait wait wait. Start over.”

“I meant, you had the Hanahaki disease too?”

“Yeah...Yeah I did. I mean, I still do. Seungmin didn’t want me to undergo the surgery just yet. He kept telling me that he didn’t want me to regret anything.”

Felix chuckled weakly. “Yup. That’s Seungmin, alright,” he sighed. “Looks like you guys are good now.”

“Yeah.” Another wave of silence took over the room.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he whispered again. You looked at the boy that was hunched over in his chair. His hands were stiffly laid on his lap, but it looked like he wanted to hold your hands instead. So you did. You grabbed his hands, cupping them into your own. His eyes widened.

“I was scared,” you confessed with determination. “I didn’t know if I was ready to get hurt. I didn’t want to get hurt. So, I just stayed quiet all this time.”

You looked into his eyes with the same amount of passion he had in his. “But then I saw you hanging out with that best friend of yours more often and- and I got jealous. I feel bad, you should be about to hang out with whoever you want, especially with them! I shouldn’t have been jealous but there's no helping it, I guess. God, I even thought that you two were freaking dating! I was- I...“

You sighed, getting overwhelmed. You took another deep breath before continuing. getting straight to the point, you said, loud and proud, “I love you, Felix.”

Felix’s face turned red. His mouth literally dropped open.

“I love you so, so much, Felix Lee. This all happened because I love you so much, and I was just being selfish because I didn’t want to lose you...I guess I just ended up hurting a lot of people, not just myself.”

He dwelled in your confession. Felix was ecstatic to hear this! He stayed silent, still in overjoyed shock, which you misread.

“If you don’t reciprocate, it’s fine. I just wanted to tell you before I do the surgery.”

All of a sudden, Felix shot out of his chair, making it tip over, and kissed you, which greatly surprised you. His small hands cupped your face with such care, you almost wanted to cry. You kissed him back, moving your hands over his. With that one kiss, you could feel all the weight on your shoulders, and in your chest, disappear. Felix was the first to pull away, leaning his forehead against yours.

“God, you don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

“Hm?” you mumbled breathlessly. “Why don’t you do it again? You know I’ve been waiting for this too.”

He pulls you in for another kiss, this one more intense than the last one. This kiss was more desperate, like you both were scared that this was a dream. Before anything could get heated, the sound of a knock and someone clearing out their throat interrupted you two.

“Sorry to interrupt you kids, but I have a patient to examine?” The two of you frantically moved away from each other, flustered. You both muttered quick sorry’s to the doctor. The doctor walked closer to you, holding some documents and a weird device that looked like a fetoscope in his hands.

“You’re L/n, Y/n, I presume?”

“Yes, sir,” you confirmed, still embarrassed from getting caught making out with Felix. The said boy rocked on his feet, his arms were comically stiff in front of him.

“Your friend, Kim, should’ve told you what I told him. Now that you’re awake, I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go through a procedure to remove the flower in your lungs. However, I’m guessing that that might not be necessary, anymore, hm?”

You and Felix grew hot. The both of you avoided eye contact with one another. The doctor only laughed at your awkwardness.

“It’s fine. No need to be embarrassed, youngins’,” he laughed, “This is way better than dying or living your life without love.”

You giggled stiffly, mustering the courage to look at Felix. “Yes, sir. You’re right,” you breathed out with a smile.

The Doctor hummed. “Well, judging by the little scene you’ve created, I think that you have already cured yourself from the disease,” he said, putting his documents down on the bedside table. “but just in case, please allow me to scan your chest to confirm.”

Hesitantly, you pulled down your shirt, revealing your chest. Felix, out of shyness, turned away from you with a red face. You had to resist the urge to laugh at his adorable-ness. The doctor gave you a lubricant to rub on your chest and held the device against it. He maneuvered it around your chest, observing the screen in his other hand.

“Well then, Y/n. Looks like you’re lucky! The petals have completely disappeared. You are now cured from Hanahaki!”

You smiled widely, looking at Felix, who returned your smile. The doctor excused himself out of the room, leaving you both alone.

“Congratulations, love. You now get to live a long life with your boyfriend!” Felix cheered. Your face burned at the title he had given himself.

“I love you,” you said happily.

“I love you too.” He steps closer to you to kiss you again when another knock interrupted you again. You laughed hearing the quiet “shit” that came out of Felix’s mouth. You both turned to see Seungmin standing there with a smug smile.

“I told you so,” he said proudly. You rolled your eyes at him.

“Yeah, yeah. I know. Thanks, Seungmin the wise,” you sarcastically said. The three of you laughed, happy that the bond between the three of you was now stronger than ever.

“Hey wait, you still haven’t answer my question, Y/n! Do you like pineapple pizza or not?”

(Case #XX2-

Name: Y/n L/n

Patient: Cured; discharged at XX,XX,XXX at XX:XX)

—————————————————————————

(back to Page I)

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rhywhitefang · 3 years

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Blank Rune + Inner Shadow characters ranked by how much you can trust them to babysit your children

Mary Poppins is seething in envy:

- Avery; Hugger of children and literal angel. There’s no better option. No, you cannot change my mind. Your children will come back, happy, safe, and goth. They will form an unbreakable bond devils bargain of friendship

- Jademis: Smart, responsible, and nice. What better qualities for someone to take care of your kids? Not only is she capable, she actually cares about doing her job AND she will probably help your kids with their math homework also.

- Coal: Obviously an amazing choice. Not only does he have common sense and makes responsible choices, they are also fun! I can also see Coal really liking kids which makes him great for this.

- Caravel: On her own? God tier, no question. She takes her job incredibly seriously, gets attached to the kids immediately, and will defend them with her life. She will give them great food but also be responsible and also the kids will love her. Her taste in men is not her fault!

- Kester: He is literally a dad. The only reason why he’s ranked lowest in this tier is for slight overprotective tendencies, but you know what? That’s also a good thing. He would also LOVE tormenting your little ones with his dad jokes :)

- Idokras: This is a really protective person who is really enthusiastic and will do anything to keep them safe. Fun, but also strict enough to discipline them without being too harsh. The kids will have a great time!

Great tier:

- Acorn: Nice, smart, and full of great advice. Has kind of a hands-off approach which is why he’s not in the first tier, but overall a very solid choice.

- Fatima: Why is Fatima so low, you ask? She is across both stories the character with the most solid moral compass.She is responsible. She cares about their safety and wants them to be not traumatised. Perfect! But on her own, she is a bit awkward and “no fun” around kids. However!! If Oxyll joins her the pair of them instantly move up to God tier.

- Astrid: Astrid is amazing! I don’t even have anything negative to say that put her down, she’s all around great! No complaints! Just not so extraordinary as to put her any higher, but if you chose her as your babysitter, your kids will have fun and learn some wilderness skills.

- Soleya: Probably already makes mad cash babysitting. Smart, responsible, snarky. Shame she’s not the biggest fan of children.

- Sora: Sora is a literal angel. An actual disney princess. A precious flower who is soft and nice and will take good care of your children. She can be a bit of a pushover though!

- Rhy: Canonically a great babysitter. Fun, good with children, and just all around a charmer. Maybe not the great role model, but I’ll doubt you’ll have any complaints about him.

Decent enough:

- Oxyll: Also dad energy, but lesser efficiency than Kester. He’s more oblivious, and way less of a grip on the kids. He’s fine, but definitely not the best. Again, though, if you combine his powers with Fatima, they become god tier together.

- Skipio: Decent enough, responsible, and will do his damnest to keep your little ruffians out of trouble. He’s gonna be strict with them, too - which is also his downside. Your kids won’t want them back.

- Tave: He’s doing his best! He’s trying! Who knows, maybe he can work himself up the tier list. For now he’s getting an E for effort.

- Kain: A good boy! He’ll try to look out for them, but also, he’s very stupid, so emphasis on “try”

- Pan: I don’t think he’s really a “kids” kinda guy, and probably won’t know what to do with them. Still, he’ll try his best to keep them alive.

- Agnes: Honestly, considering the fact that she’s like, what? 14? This is hella impressive. A responsible girl! I’m very proud of her!

- June: Your kids will love her! She’ll let them ride on her motorcycle, stay up past 2 am, and let them eat as many cookies as they want!

Meh Tier

- Lyn Amara: Completely uninterested in your brats. I guess if you paid her, she’d pay attention though.

- Ash: Can be bribed into doing a good job, and depending on the kid might also grow attached enough to do it out of their own volution, but they might also not bother.

- Blake: He just wants to sit in his barrel, bro.

- Anianno: His honor demands him that he protects him from threats and he’ll definitely run head first at any large animal that tries to attack them.

- Tilly: Stimulate your childrens creativity! Teach them valuable life lessons! Repeat after me: Murder is okay :)

- Laure: I mean, she *might* sacrifice them to her death cult but I feel like she’d be responsible about it, yaknow?

- Wren: That’s a bit too much responsibility for our anxious little bean. They will try their best though!

You Might as well have left them alone

- Allen: This is the same as leaving them alone.

- Swift: Will probably get distracted & overhwlemed.

- Copper: Anxious chihuaha. Will cry.

- Jakob: Oh boy... probably not the greatest idea. I mean, he’ll try his best, but I can’t see this going too well. Maybe they can write sad poetry together?

- Finn: He does nothing for them and might accidentally... drop them.

- Elvin: He’s a baby but at least not actively completely irresponsible, and has some physical capabilities? He’s really dumb tho.

- Phillip: He will ditch them half way through the night to go fight and/or make out with his boyfriend

- Prion: Too busy staring at himself in the mirror.

- Lexa: Herself a baby and also has no concept of fear or danger. Don’t.

- Kyra: Might steal their arms... but eh, too small.

- Barnacle: Looking at his intentions and general vibe, it’s great! He is a soft cuddly sweetheart, who I can totally see liking children. He’s also a mess and a disaster and a huge pushover. Also, what do kids eat again? Here have some uhhhhhh...... leaves from outside?

Just.... Bad:

- Delta: Do you want your kids babysat by a cat?

- Liam: I mean... look at the job he did with June. He kept her alive and fed, I guess. So, congrats on achieving the bare minimum, but he’s definitely not getting any awards here. And theres you know, him being an evil shithead.

- Midas: As irresponsible as they get and also kind of a shithead. There’s a chance he might use your child as a football.

- Mikash: He is baby, dont give him this kind of responsibility!

- Arna + Firmin: The irresponsible children squad. Why would you let them babysit your irresponsible children??

- Dareios: Canonical child hater and overall horrible person. The only reason he’s not in the shit tier is that if you payed him, your children will survive. He will treat them horribly though.

KEEP THEM AWAY FROM THE BABIES

- Artemisia: Well she might kill the kids, but unlike the rest of the people in this tier, here your kids might have a chance of survival ‘cause Misi is not that interested in them and might ignore them and do something else instead.

- Rubin: trash garbage man who will misuse your kids as “squires” for his fucked up murder tournaments

- “Ethan”: Almost the absolutel worst option. He is a terrible influence. We remind the reader that when Caravel asked him to get something to eat for the kids, he brought chips and alcohol. Awful role model, and thats not even getting into the fact that he literally murdered the two children in his care. Might not even keep your kids alive if you pay him!

- Esca: No :(

#blank rune #inner shadow

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todaydreambelieversfic · 3 years

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Author Spotlight: Coffeegleek Day 2

Author : @coffeegleek

Share one of your strengths.

Humor, even if I'm the only one who's laughing. There's a reason I have the often used tag, "Sometimes I think I'm funny." :)

Share one of your weaknesses.

Redundancy. I try so damn hard not to repeat words, phrases, and sentences yet they always sneak in.

Which fic has been the hardest to write?

A Nest of Scars because it terrified me to put it out into the world. I both wanted to tell Kurt's origin story of his time in juvie, yet was/am still afraid I would attract haters and pedos. I held onto it for a year before publishing it. It doesn't have much traction at all and most of me is okay with that. I wrote it because I wanted to expand more on why Kurt acts the way he does in Empty Nest and Rebuilding the Nest. I also wanted to tell about the RL horrors that are happening to POC kids in the U.S. It was NOT an easy fic to write emotionally. It wasn't fun to write Kurt being abused from ages 6-13. My brain wouldn't let the story go, so now it's out there and done. Once the sequel to it and a couple of one shots are written, I'm hoping to let the verse go. Of course, I said that after Rebuilding the Nest too. Another hard part of that verse is wanting to write Kurt and Blaine's much happier life after Rebuilding the Nest. I have the characters, setting, and some basics down, but never could get enough plot to turn it into a worthwhile story.

Which fic has been the easiest to write?

The crack fic one shots, whose names escape me. The Hallmark Christmas fics have been a blast. The only challenge to A Very Hallmark Christmas was when I started spiraling into more Kurt angst than I'd wanted for the verse and had to pull myself out of it. Writing A Soulmate for Santa Claus, the movie Kurt and Blaine were filming during A Very Hallmark Christmas, and the commercials that aired during the movie were a joy. It's why I want to get back to the verse.

Is writing your passion or just a fun hobby?

A true passion. I've been writing my entire life and have totes full of my work from childhood to now. It's a life long dream to have my original sci-fi novel published. I worked on it on and off for nearly twenty years; the last major overhaul was finalized a few years ago.

Is there an episode or character or arc above all others that inspires you just a little bit more?

Burt's deep love for Kurt. As the parent of a gay son who ended up with PTSD due to homophobic and racist bullying, harassment, and assault it's a relationship I deeply relate to. I also relate to Kurt being an outsider who tries his best to rise above it all. Carole is a wonderful, relatable parent figure too.

What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

Write the fics you want to read, what you love, and want to see more of.

What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

That language is changing and that I should stop complaining (in private or on posts about grammar) about people not using pronouns in their fics. Yes, language changes over time, but in this time, Kurt should not reach over to Kurt's dresser to pull out Kurt's lube and condoms.

If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

A Very Hallmark Christmas. It would be such a humorous delight with just a bit of relevant angst. It has everything - two actors (Kurt and Blaine) falling in love as their characters do on screen. An obnoxious child actor (Justin Goolsby's son) who makes the other child actors cry. A frustrated production assistant (Tina) who wants to kill the director (Artie.) A famous guest star (Mercedes Jones) who sings the movie's pivotal Christmas song. The actress who is so tired of having to be super nice in her roles (Santana.) POC actors complaining about the roles they're always forced to play. The shameless product placements. I watched hundreds of hours of Hallmark Christmas movies to get the cheesy dialogue just right. I even threw some fun Burt and Carole in the end. Can you tell I shamelessly love this fic and verse? :)

What’s your process? Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order? Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines? What are the perfect writing conditions for you?

I write the scenes out of order. Or rather, I start to write from the beginning, but there always ends up being a scene or block of scenes which take place later in the story that are written in-between. I always have at least one, sometimes two, google docs of notes that accompany it. If I didn't, the fic would get way too messy with my color-coded notes. I have outlines of sorts. For A Nest of Scars, its chapters go by Kurt's age and each has a line or two of dialogue as the quote at the beginning that tells the reader what's going to happen. I had many of those outlined before and during the writing process because I was very selective about what happens to him when. I had rules set in place and the ending had already been established in the original fic, Empty Nest.

With A Very Hallmark Christmas and A Very Weird Christmas Adventure, each chapter was defined by the Klaine Advent words of the day. I could never keep up to a chapter a day, so often I would have chapter notes with the words and ideas for them.

Perfect writing conditions - living room couch (where I essentially eat, sleep, and live as it's "my space" within the house,) a blanket and laptop on my lap, pillows comforting my back, lights off, cup of coffee on the coffee table, and the TV on to something I only half want to watch with the sound off and the remote at the ready in case I glance over and want to take a break from writing. Sometimes I'll have a song that I'll play on repeat if it's helping me to write a scene. (I do this a lot when writing original work; less so with Klaine fanfic.)

***

Check out Coffeegleek’s Fics

A Very Hallmark Christmas - Semi-famous actor!Kurt and semi-famous actor!Blaine work the Hallmark Christmas Movie circuit in true B-actor form. Though they’ve worked on the same movies before, this time they land roles that could change their lives forever. Mostly happy fluff, but has some angst. This is Hallmark, so of course it has a happy ending. Many of my favorite tropes have been included: badboy!Kurt who really has a heart of gold and sweetness, famous!Kurt, famous!Blaine, actor!Kurt, actor!Blaine, soulmates, soulmarks, AU Glee, angst with a happy ending, and fluff. There’s also a heavy dose of cheesy Hallmark Christmas Movie writing in both the script and commercials. In true AU form, canon characters abound in various non-canon roles.

Originally this was my Klaine Advent 2018 fic that I brain froze on and knew was confusing because the first 2 chapters were stand-alone, random one shots before I got the idea in chapter 3 for a whole verse. So this is that Hallmark story verse only reworked to make it better and stand on its own. All of the Advent words are included in this fic.

A Soulmate for Santa Claus - This is the movie, A Soulmate for Santa Claus, that was being filmed in the Kurt/Blaine fic, A Very Hallmark Christmas. It includes the commercials that were being filmed as well. New material is included.

A Very Weird Christmas Adventure - A crack fic of fun and all the tropes that continues after A Very Hallmark Christmas. You don't have to have read the original fic, but it helps.

#author spotlight #coffeegleek

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kth1 · 4 years

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🎼 bts song ask game 🎶

since i didn’t get any asks, im going to answer all of them because i am bored!

Boy With Luv: the first member who caught your eye? - Yoongi, Taehyung, Jin. In that order. Intro: Persona: what song is your go to when you’re sad? - Claire De Lune Make It Right: what is something you regret? - I don’t regret things (not trying to sound cocky) but i believe i shouldn’t regret things because i did whatever i did because at some point i wanted to do it. Jamais Vu: favorite bts moment? - There’s too many, but BTS debuting is top tier.

Dionysus: what’s your favorite drink? - Water

Interlude: Shadow: would you want to be famous? why or why not? - Yes. Naive me thinks i’d had some sort of fun with fame, even though there’s many drawbacks.

Black Swan: have you ever had to give up on a dream? - Small dreams, yes.

Filter: would you consider yourself to be a lover or a fighter? - I fight for love

My Time: what do you want to do for a career? - Absolutely no idea

Louder than Bombs: are you the type who can easily handle confrontation? - When confronted rationally, but when attacked - no

ON: what’s your favorite bts song? - There’s too many and depends on my mood. But Fire is always a go-to

UGH!: have you ever had to deal with hate? -Plenty of times

00:00 (Zero O’Clock): what’s your favorite childhood memory? - Being a barefoot wild child

Inner Child: if you could go back to being a kid again, would you? - No. But if it gave me a chance to redirect my life then yes

Friends: are you the type to have many friends or a select few? - Have a large group of acquaintances but small group of actual friends

Moon: what is your favorite aesthetic? - Autumn vibes

Respect: why do you respect bts? - They promote a positive vibe and message. etc etc etc

We are Bulletproof: the Eternal: where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10? 20? - Hopefully finally graduated. Maybe i’ll have someone in my life, but im not holding my breath

Outro: Ego: who is your bias and why? - Kim Taehyung. My reasons are never ending...

Mikrokosmos: what is your favorite bts performance? -Wings Tour, and MAMA 2019

HOME: where do you want to live in the future? -I don’t care where

Euphoria: what is the song that brings you the most joy? - Something upbeat, like Ego, 2nd Grade, etc

Trivia 起: Just Dance: make a playlist of songs you would dance to in a club - Fire, 134340, Filter, MIC DROP, Ddaeng

Serendipity: what is one thing that brings you peace? - Slumber

DNA: do you believe in soulmates? -No, because I don’t have many real life experiences to witness this actually happening

Dimple: what is your favorite feature in a person? -Truthfulness. Physical feature, usually eyes.

Trivia 承: Love: do you believe in love at first sight? -Yes, but that’s not getting to know their personality.

Her: books or movies? -Movies

Singularity: space or the ocean? why? -I love these both!!!!!! Uh, space

FAKE LOVE: write about one time you’ve had your heart broken without detailing what happened - I don’t know how to besides saying first boyfriend broke up with me to date my best friend.

The Truth Untold: what is your favorite trope in a story? - djskalhfd I don’t have one

Trivia 轉: Seesaw: if you could have one thing for the rest of your life what would it be? - my close ones to never leave

Tear: how often to you cry? -maybe once a month

Epiphany: what is your favorite look on the members of bts? - BLACK HAIR

I’m Fine: would you rather never tell the truth or always tell the truth? -Tell me the damn truth

IDOL: outside bts, who are some artists you like? - WayV, NCT 127, SuperM

Answer: Love Myself: what is your favorite feature about yourself? why? I like my hair, because I like the length

Magic Shop: if you could tell your bias one thing in person, what would it be? - Don’t ever change the way you are.

Best of Me: would you rather give your all and fail, or cheat your way into getting what you want? - Depends on the context. Usually give it my all.

Airplane pt.2: create a travel itinerary - Me, myself, and I

Go Go: cutie or sexy? - Cutie

Anpanman: if you could have one superpower what would it be? - Control time or invisibility

MIC Drop: what’s one thing you would tell a hater? - *Shrugs*

134340: what is your favorite thing in space? - Mars

Paradise: if you could have one day with bts, what would you want to do? - Let’s make it a week please. Play games, eat something delicious, visit the recording studio, go on a small little scenic trip.

Love Maze: there are two paths on a mountain. one is steep and difficult but it gets you to the top faster. the other is easy but it would take much longer to reach your destination. which do you take and why? - Easy. Because I should have patience and take my time with things, no?

So What: what was the first bts song you heard? - Actively, Dope. But i heard them before but idk what song it was.

Outro: Tear: favorite outfit on your bias? - No shirt thotty pictures. JK JK, hm, i actually like when he has his fancy button ups, but also comfy casual tees.

Don’t Leave Me: favorite japanese song by bts? - Lights // Stay Gold

Spring Day: what is one song that gives you unexplained nostalgia? - Cypher pt 3

#mb

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tigerlover16-uk-2 · 4 years

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Quick note to Pokemon fans

You know, about two months ago or so, I saw someone on Twitter ranting about Sword and Shield, and as an aside they commented on how "Sad" it was that the games would be some children's first Pokemon games.

This struck a very personal nerve with me for reasons I'll get to, and I made a snappy tweet of my own in response to it and was going to write up a quick post here about why it bothered me.

I decided not to because after being distracted for a bit, I felt like I didn't have the energy to bother with it after.

Something that happened last night made me decide to go ahead with it.

A tweet was going around recounting a story from reddit about how a fan saw a teenager bullying his kid sister for being excited for the games, straight up telling her she was a bad person for supporting a bad product and making her cry.

The girl apparently had a scorbunny plush with her, and the fan who saw this happening speculated that she was just getting into Pokemon, and these games might even be the first new ones her parents were going to buy for her.

Needless to say, I was disgusted and outraged. Not even just because of how cruel and selfish it is to behave in such a manner to a small child, this story resonated with me in a personal way because, honestly... I've seen this sort of thing before.

I've said before I grew up with the Star Wars Prequel Trilogy and the 3D era Sonic the hedgehog games (and media based on them like Sonic X). I loved them both growing up, and Sonic in particular meant the world to me for many years...

Which made it really disheartening to see the visceral hate they got from people online, accusing these things of "ruining" those respective franchises and those older fans own childhoods.

I've seen people called stupid, tasteless or "not real fans" for defending them, a general condescending attitude to every little detail of modern entries in the franchises, and an insistence that people like me who liked them were just innocent fools who were in denial because we didn't know any better.

"You only like them because you don't know what REAL Star Wars/Sonic is like"

I was rather stupid and reserved as a kid, rather depressed and isolated for a lot of my teenage years. I wasn't very critically discerning, so I never knew how to argue in defense of things that I liked. So needless to say, it felt really disheartening and alienating to see a lot of people treat the things that I liked and which resonated with me as so over the top horrible and the bane of some supposedly glorious triumphs of cinema and gaming that I'd missed out on.

There were people who felt differently and shared my appreciation back then, sure, but it sure felt like I wasn't welcome in a lot of fandom spaces.

I'm lucky to say I was never personally bullied by the more obnoxious older fans (I didn't really talk to people online until about a decade ago, and only through private messages on one website at that for a while), but I did hear stories of it, especially with Star Wars.

And the sheer negativity and cynicism from so many people did get me down and feel like maybe I was just stupid and in the wrong. And considering how part of this coincided with my teenage years (some of the worst of my life), it really got me down and took me years to start feeling confident in my own feelings on both franchises again.

Going back to Pokemon now: it's okay to be upset about the National Dex issue in Sword and Shield. It's okay to be disappointed with the overall presentation of the games and a lot of Game Freak's creative choices, and the business decisions that result in several of these problems like the yearly release schedule.

It's encouraged to complain about things like that to a reasonable amount, constructive criticism is necessary. Things don't change for the better if people stay silent all the time or everyone becomes too complacent. I think the whole situation with Sonic's design in the upcoming live action movie is a good demonstration of criticism being a necessity.

I am certainly not without my criticisms and concerns.

But don't ever forget... these games are meant for children. And around the world, there are children who are going to be playing Sword and Shield as some of their first Pokemon games, if not their very first.

There are going to be kids for whom Sword and Shield are a big part of their formative experiences with the franchise, and that'll influence how they view it. There are going to be kids who grow up loving Scorbunny and Sobble and Grookey and a bunch of the other new Pokemon and characters as much as we all loved Charmander and squirtle and bulbasaur and all the rest.

There are going to be kids who's favourite Pokemon games are Sword and Shield.

That doesn't mean you can't complain about them. That doesn't mean you have to pretend to like them, or consider them good. It doesn't mean you can't be cynical about the direction of the franchise if you don't like where it's heading.

But you absolutely should respect those children and their right to still enjoy modern Pokemon freely and openly.

Don't be like that stupid teenager. Don't be condescending and dismissive of people's enjoyment of Sword and Shield, or treat them like they're part of a problem for having fun with a simple video game.

And beyond that... don't ever let me catch you going "Oh, the poor kids, growing up with the worst Pokemon games" or anything like that. Because buddy: you don't care about children. Not really.

You're angry on behalf of yourself and other older fans who are more clearly effected by Dexit and the other controversies. You're just using children as a shield to make your complaints sound noble.

I've no doubt there are plenty of kids who are disappointed with the Dex cut like all of you. But the kids who aren't, the ones that are getting into the series just now, and are going to grow up to view Sword and Shield fondly: they're not going to want your fake pity any more than I did.

Because I did eventually watch the original Star Wars movies and play some of the first 3 Sonic games to see what "REAL Star wars" and "REAL Sonic" were. And you know what?

Wasn't impressed.

It was all fine, but I liked my childhood better anyway, and I'm sorry I was ever dumb and insecure enough to let a bunch of joyless, angry crybabies on the internet convince me I should be embarrassed and ashamed of myself for liking what I got into the franchises through.

Be disappointed and critical all you want. Roll your eyes at adults who are being blatant boot lickers and trying to write off any and all criticism as just baseless hate. People like that are as silly as the genuinely toxic haters and are fair game.

But leave children out of all this, guys. Don't let them grow up thinking that they're a problem or that it's wrong to enjoy the new Pokemon games even if they do have problems.

#Pokemon Sword and Shield #pokemon #Game Freak

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ebonydusk · 4 years

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Things that were, things that are, and things that may be...

I’ll warn you right now this post might get rather long, so I’ll be sure to put most of it under the line. And also warn that this post contains very personal talk about severe depression, anxiety, PTSD, abortion and suicide.

I’ve made various posts over time on this hellsite. I call it that cause...it really can be at times. But it’s also a place I can vent and put my thoughts out into the world, even if I know no one will notice or will really pay attention to it. This one though, this one is probably the most personal.

I’ll start off by explaining I’ve suffered from depression the majority of my life. I can’t possibly tell you how or when it truly started, but I can recognize now that it was there since I was young. It went hand in hand with my growing anxiety that was born of being isolated and over protected and sheltered in a small town with small minds. It’s possible it all came from the fact I was molested as a child. Up till I was at least ten. Which is the last time I let him come near me. My grandfather was a ‘war hero’. A ‘pillar of the small community’. A ‘good man and a good father’. A ‘wonderful husband’. But he also didn’t keep his hands to himself. And I never told anyone. Not my mom. Not my dad. Not my sweet grandmother. No one. They still don’t know. But my therapists and my husband and closests friends now do. I’m not as ashamed of it anymore. I realized only recently I shouldn’t be, it wasn’t my fault. And I’m not the one who should have ever felt such shame and guilt.

But keeping that secret since I was so little and never dealing with it left it’s mark on my small mind. A mark that festered and grew into fear and anxiety and self hatred.

Then I realized I was into girls. I felt...out of place. I wasn’t really shamed of that per se. But it WAS a small town. I got picked on by those that knew. Those that guessed. And those that just didn’t like how quiet I was. I was the “girl to talk to if if you wanted to ‘experiment’” to most of the girls in school. I mostly went along with it cause...how exactly did you say no to some of the most popular girls in school and not end up the target of some serious Mean Girl shit? Right? So I started my experimenting early. My girlfriend at the time got jealous easy and she wasn’t happy about none of it...but she was also closeted and afraid of people finding out. There was a point she became a source of bullying just to throw people off. I grew cautious of telling people. I didn’t want to be targeted anymore. I didn’t want to be used. I didn’t want to be looked at as a freak. Another secret I had to keep. Another thing I had to hide. I’m more open about it now. I still haven’t pin pointed what I am myself. And that’s ok. It really is. FOr everyone who’s unsure it’s ok. No matter your age or how long you’ve had to figure it out.

I met my husband in high school. He was a bright point in those times for me. (And a dark one too, it was high school after all. Drama.) We were on and off more than once. Him being a hormonal guy and me being the idiot that kept forgiving him when he’d come crying back to me when his attempt to move on was rejected harshly. (he’s a wonderful man but he can still act like a teenager sometimes.)

And yes, we did get married. Which leads me to another stressful point in my life. I was left on my own shortly after our marriage. My husband practically volunteered to go be sent overseas. He had to ‘prove himself’. He had to ‘get away’. And so he left. We weren’t prepared. I certainly wasn’t. For nearly a whole year I was left on my own. In a tiny apartment. At first I was ok...until both cars broke down. I had no ride and I was too scared and anxious to ask for help. Cause the one time I did I got guilt tripped about being a burden to my husband by someone he worked with giving me a ride. and the manager of the apartment was a ‘military hater’. So she wasn’t happy about us. So I felt trapped. Alone. Scared. Isolated. And I gained 100+ pounds from ordering out cause I had no way to leave. It was dark time and I was a mess and the apartment went to shit cause of it too. It was my first mental break. I didn’t recognize it then. I do now though. When my husband returned it was to a barely kept together apartment and a wife that was suddenly overweight and mentally unsound. It was a stressful time. I tried to get help...but they did nothing but throw medication at me that didn’t work.

One of the many reasons I don’t fully trust doctors.

Fast forwarding by a lot, skipping over quite a few little things that went on that probably had some affect on me. But we’re gonna go with big things for now. We’re in alabama now. I need a job. Jody helps me get one at a bowling alley on base. It’s my first job after FIVE YEARS of me trying and searching with little luck. The place was ok at first. But things went downhill fast. The promised hours were not what I got. The manager ran two buildings and the one I was at was the one she hated the most. (She admitted this often.) She micromanged everything. Talked down to everyone. Expected more than was could be given.

I was doing the job of 10 other people at that place. And for not enough hours and during the BUSIEST times of the week. The weekends. Most people will scoff at that. “Only the weekends? Pffft! You wimp! You child! That’s nothing!” Yeah. Maybe it is. But those three days of work? They were awful. They were draining and it got to the point I would actually cry before having to go back cause it was so bad. I hated it. But I kept trying cause I felt guilty. I felt weak. And I didn’t want to disappoint my husband who HELPED me get the job. During all this stress I found out I was pregnant. (this part is very upsetting for me and might be for others too. I apologize to anyone who is still reading this.) I didn’t know how to feel when I looked at that stupid pee stick. I was dumbfounded. I told my husband and...his reaction broke my heart. He panicked. Badly. He had to be sure. We went to a doctor. They confirmed. Their ‘Congratulations’ hurt me. It cut too deep. Cause I knew what my husband wanted to do. He wasn’t ready and he was panicking with every day.

He had me convinced we couldn’t do it. I knew it was bull. I knew it wasn’t true. The military would have paid him MORE to have the baby. I knew it. THey increase pay for such things. But I didn’t know how to fight him on it. I didn’t want him to hate me. I didn’t want him to regret or resent me. So...I went along. I agreed.

I know I told some people that it was done cause it was affecting my health. I lied. I felt too ashamed to tell the truth. I didn’t want to say “we got rid of it cause we weren’t ready”. Cause that wasn’t all true. HE wasn’t ready. I was more than so. I always wanted kids. At least one. But he...

He once told me “If it happens then it happens and we’ll deal”...that was clearly not the case. The abortion broke me. Both mentally and emotionally and physically. I hurt. So much. I still have nightmares at times. Not as often anymore thankfully. But back then it was almost every night afterwards. I...I went back to work. I had to. What else could I do? But not long after returning I just couldn’t anymore. I saw a therapist and he was kind. Understanding. I wasn’t used to that from doctors in the military. He helped some. But it was a temporary thing. Not a full time therapist. But even with his help I could stick it. I had to get away from that job and I needed time.

So I quit...And I felt ashamed and guilty cause I was handed that job on a silver platter and I couldn’t stick to it. I did for 4 years but I still felt horrible.

I stopped seeing that doctor. I stopped taking my meds. I just...tried to move on on my own. I tried to find other things to do. I had my friends online and they helped a lot. I disappeared into my writing. I distracted myself for a long, long time. Then things started going downhill ‘last year’, of 2019. Money getting tighter. Friends getting busy. Some of my favorite places to hang out online, RP forums mostly, were slowing or dying and shutting down. Some of the people I called friends weren’t talking to me anymore. I knew some were just busy and dealing with their own lives but it still felt painful and I felt alone again. Even with a house of three dogs, a roommate, a husband...I felt unwanted. Unloved. Useless. worthless. Pitiful. Shameful. Painful. I couldn’t sleep right. I was staying up for DAYS straight cause of my nightmares and insomnia and my brain just not turning off. I barely ate. My husband had started doing new better work but also college classes and had NO TIME. No time to talk. No time to sit with me anymore. No time. And I knew he needed space to work. I understood that. I wasn’t stupid. It wasn’t that he didn’t care he was just too busy to focus on anything but. Yet it still hurt. I was alone. I felt hollow and full of nothing but darkness at the same time. As dramatic as that sounds. I just wanted it to end. I wanted to not be a burden. I didn’t want the people I knew to feel they had to bother with me anymore. They wouldn’t need to worry or care or bother checking on me anymore. No more emotional mess that is me. No more mother hen monster fussing. No more pestering to hang out. No more.

I had a plan. I had a method. I had a place. All I needed was to wait for my husband to leave in the morning. Make sure the roommate was still sleeping in like always. And I’d take care of it all. I’d stop being a pest, a burden, a mess, a black mark on the lives of those I knew. I’d stop being a disappointment, a failure, a weakling, a pathetic excuse of life.

But one night...I realized those thoughts were wrong. just a moment. Just a spark of a thought. Through the dark fog that dominated my mind. And I sat down and talked to my husband. I told him what was wrong. I told him what I had planned to do. And he took me to someone as soon as possible. They sent me to a hospital (by the way 16 hours waiting in a hospital room is AWFUL and hospitals should be ashamed). And THEY sent me to a Behavioral Health Facility. A nut house. Yeah. BHF is just the nice way to name it. I was there for three days. It seemed to help. I calmed down. I discovered I had diabetes while there too. I continued to seek treatment. I got my therapist. I got my psychiatrist. I have help now. Continuous help. Consistent help. And I’ve stayed on my meds this time. All this started in May 2019. I went into the BHF on May 10, 2019 and I’ve done my best to stick with everything. I’ve realized a lot about myself and I’m working on a lot of things. I’m hoping to keep getting better. There are a lot of people that helped along the way. People that kept me from doing something I’d regret sooner. Some that helped me more than they could ever realize and I wish I still talked to them. But I know they’ve had life keep them down. I want to thank them right now for being there for me. Misty, Tahki, Jessi, Tana, Fishy, Oobi, Verg, Aru, Naan, that one person who kept answering my depressing blogs and cheering me up ( I’m so sorry I can’t remember your name at this time I feel horrid), There are so many others...I want to thank you all. I’d @ you but I don’t want to disturb you with this long ass mess. I love you guys. Always will. I’m sorry for not talking to any of you more. But know I’m still here. And I’m still thinking of you. Always.

#personal #long post #depression #anxiety #suicide mention #new year #Abortion #mental health

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emperorsfoot · 5 years

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Can we talk about how Kevin has never had a stable Father-Figure

Seriously.

Kevin Levin has never had a stable or consistent (or even really very positive) father-figure or male role model in his life. Don’t believe me? Lets take a look at his life!

Harvey Hackett

Kevin’s step father.

Admittedly, very little is known about Harvey since he only appears in one scene in one episode. But what we don’t know of him first hand, we can infer from dialogue.

In Harvey’s exchange with Kevin in “Ultimate Power Part 2″, we learn that even though Kevin was an 11-year-old child when they lived together, Harvey was afraid of him. Imagine what they must be like, to be a child that young and one of your two main care-givers, one of your parents is afraid of you. That would totally mess with a kid’s head. And -clearly- it did when in the exact same conversation Harvey says that Kevin destroyed the house and ran away from home. And before any of you say “well, doesn’t that just prove Harvey was right to be afraid of Kevin?”, let me remind you that KEVIN WAS A CHILD AT THE TIME!

He was only 11-years-old (or younger, we don’t know how long he was living on the streets). Children that young need care, understanding, encouragement and support! Especially special needs children. Say what you will, but a pre-pubescent kid with superpowers counts as a “special need” child. Children like that need their adult care-givers to understand them, or if not understand them, then at least make adaptations for them to better thrive. Not only did have clearly NOT do that for Kevin, but he also went one step father to openly admit to rejecting Kevin.

To a child that young, being fearful of them is indistinguishable from rejecting them. Kevin picked up Harvey’s fear and only saw a parent who didn’t want him.

So, he had a mental/emotional breakdown, used his unnatural super-powers to destroy their house, and ran away from home.

Or, from Kevin’s perspective based on what he told Ben in “Kevin 11″ from the Original series, his parents threw him our because they didn’t like having a “freak” for a son.

Kevin would see Harvey’s fear of him as a rejection and might run away from home imagining they would kick him out anyway. While Harvey would interpret Kevin’s destructive tantrum and running away as Kevin proving how “bad” a child he was instead of the cry for help that it actually was.

Both characters’ stories are true.

But that doesn’t change the fact that Harvey was a terrible parent and father-figure to Kevin.

Now, lets look at his second male role model and father figure.

Kwarrel

The inmate whom Kevin met in prison and took him under his wing.

I could argue that Kwarrel is Kevin’s most positive male role model. Because, honestly, in the short time that they knew each other, Kwarrel did more for Kevin than any other adult figure he ever met.

When Kevin first met Kwarrel he was newly trapped in the Null Void and newly sentenced to the prison Incarcecon. He was physically deformed by the Omnitrix and -as far as Kevin knew- permanently disfigured. Understandably, Kevin was angry, resentful, even hateful. One of the first scenes in the flashback that introduces Kwarrel is one of Kevin beating the crap out of other inmates and then asking for more.

Seeing through Kevin’s rage and hostility, Kwarrel approaches him and strikes up a friendship. Through their friendship Kwarrel helps Kevin, not only, let go of his anger, but also helps him learn how to better control and use his powers.

In the entire franchise, Kwarrel is the ONLY adult who works with Kevin constructively to develop and control his powers.

We also see that Kwarrel is the one who taught Kevin to absorb matter so that he wouldn’t have to rely on absorbing energy and rest madness, or disfiguring mutation, or both.

Sadly, Kwarrel was only with Kevin for less than a year before he was shot in the back and killed.

All of this can be seen in “...Nor Iron Bars a Cage” in the Ultimate Alien arc of the series. I highly recommend you go and give it a rewatch. It is one of my favorite episodes.

After Kwarrel dies helping Kevin escape from Incarsecon, he ends up running headlong into the path of our next terrible father-figure, and -quite possibly- the most toxic of all...

Proctor Servantis

A power-mad Plumber with much too much influence and privilege compared to moral fiber.

I could write chapters on this guy. But for this post, I’ll try to be brief.

When Kevin first meeds servants, he’s a ordinary human that’s employed by the Plumbers and stationed on the Null Void. He rescues Kevin from a pack of Vulpimancers that attacked him when he was wandering the Null Void an unknown amount of time after escaping Incarsecon (it could not have been that long since Kevin looks to still be between the ages and 11 and 12).

Saving Kevin’s life was great and all. I would not like the Ben 10 franchise nearly as much as I do if Kevin stopped being a character after the age of 12.

But almost immediately after meeting Kevin, Servants started manipulating him and using him. First just using his powers to conduct inhuman experiments on other children and aliens. Using Kevin’s Osmosian powers to graft alien DNA onto the genes of otherwise perfectly ordinary human children.

That quickly escalated into sending Kevin and the other children on black ops missions that would have been dangerous even for adults. He basically turned Kevin into a child-soldier and used him to make other child-soldiers.

Then, when Kevin and his team failed in one mission (the mission to kill Ben) Servants threw a juvenile tantrum and used the powers that Kevin gave him to wipe everyone’s memories and then ABANDON them to wander the Null Void alone.

Oh, but wait, not only did Servants wipe Kevin’s memory and abandon him to the equivalent of a Turkish prison/space Australia, but Servants ALSO created false memories to replace Kevin’s real one. There by erasing part of his past and part of his identity in the process.

And that leads me into our next weak and inconsistent father-figure...

Devin Levin

Our super-sexy space daddy that I just wanna... uh...

Anyway...

If you only ever watched Ben 10 up to the end of Ultimate Alien and nothing past it, then you would know Devin as a pure-blood Osmosian from planet Osmos V, whom married a human woman, Mrs. Levin, and had Kevin. And, from all appearances, did manage to live and be present in Kevin’s life for some time.

At least, there is a photo of Kevin with Devin in Kevin’s house. Its always hard to tell cartoon ages since they’re cartoons, but Kevin looks to be about 4 or 5 years old. That’s old enough to have vague memories of his father.

From the ONE and ONLY flashback we get of Devin, he appears to deeply love his son and wife and is not only willing to die for them, but in fact DOES die for them. He dies protecting Earth from total planetary destruction, and as Devin dies in Max’s arms his last words are to tell his wife and son that he loves them.

That sounds like a really great father-figure, right?

Except that he died when Kevin was 4. So, its not like he was ever actually present or active in Kevin’s life.

But worse than that, if you DO watch beyond Ultimate Alien and into Omniverse you will see that they ret-con Devin. They ret-con him OUT! Now, Devin never existed in the first place. Instead, he was a false memory constructed by Proctor Servants and implanted into the minds of Kevin Levin and Max Tennyson. In Kevin, so that the Osmosian would have a motivation to become a Plumber, team up with Ben and Gwen, and become a sleeper agent poised to spring when Servants reappeared. And, in Max’s mind so that Max would accept Kevin on the team without question and look out for him.

So, not only did Devin die, not only did Devin not exist, but Devin was just some little flourish to further nefarious schemes, a conspiracy, and an assignation plot.

So... fuck Kevin. Am I right?

But I’m not done. I saved the best for last. Are you ready for number five?

Max Tennyson

That’s right, Max mother-fucking Tennyson!

Now, before you all get angry and rage replay that I’m just a hater who hates Team Ben, please remember the Original Series. Please remember Max’s backstory. Please remember how they develop Max’s character of the course of the franchise, all the way from the OS, through AF/UA, to the end of Omniverse.

Max raised two children of his own. He is helping raise three grandchildren. He has LOTS of experience with children.

Max is a Plumber. He’s a space cop. An alien police. He has lots of experience with people with extraordinary and super-human powers. He knows how to deal with them, how to de-escalate situations with them, how to keep them from using their powers to hurt others. (Or at least, one would assume he knows these things since that’s a Plumber’s fucking job!)

So, what does Max do the first time they meet?

Abandons him! That’s what!

At the end of the episode “Kevin 11″ the first episode where we ever meet Kevin, the fight between Ben and Kevin doesn’t “conclude” so much as it just ENDS. There’s an explosion and -at first- Kevin is buried under a bit of rubble, which gives Ben the opportunity to return to Max’s side. But Kevin craws out pretty quickly after that. He’s conscious and ambulatory. Ben, Gwen, and Max SEE him. He’s just on the other side of the train tracks. Its not like its impossible for anyone to get to him. So, what does Max do?

He takes his own children and WALKS THE FUCK AWAY! He -literally- turns his back on Kevin the first time they met.

At this point in the franchise, Kevin is a homeless, rejected, unloved child with special needs, that no one in his life has ever tried to understand.

Max is a grown adult who has experience with both children and people with extraordinary powers. He is the best equipped person (possibly in the world) to be a care-giver to Kevin. But Kevin’s not his, so why the fuck bother!? Right?

Even when Kevin keeps showing up.

In “Framed” when Kevin is stalking Ben, posing as Ben, and committing crimes to frame Ben (which is, by the way, a cry for help), Max has another opportunity to help Kevin. And he wouldn’t even have to take care of the kid himself.

In “Framed” there was this other group tracking Kevin. Some kind of SWAT team that specialized in extraordinary cases. All Max had to do was tell those guy that “hey, this monster here is really just a disfigured child, you should take care of him” and then be on his way. But Max didn't even do that!

Just mentioning to that group which was clearly well funded, well equipped, and well trained, that this one monster they were trying to subdue was an unbalanced child who needed help would have been doing the BARE MINIMUM to help Kevin. Literally, the absolute minimum.

But Max wouldn’t do even that!

In fact, Max didn’t begin to give a rat’s ass about Kevin Levin until Proctor Servants had to alter his fucking brain! and give him fake memories of a partner who never existed.

Even then, Max STILL agreed with Ben when Ben decided it was better to kill Kevin than rehabilitate him during the Ultimate Kevin arc.

In short,

ALL OF KEVIN’S FATHER-FIGURES/MALE ROLE MODELS ARE TERRIBLE!

Its actually amazing he managed to become as well adjusted, helpful, constructive and GOOD, a person as he has.

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keepyourpantsongohan · 5 years

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Ayesha Liveblogs Naruto Shippuden S20 (Pt. 3)

I wonder if going after Karin’s Tsukuyomi bulb was happenstance or whether Tobirama went “I smell an Uzumaki” and had at it

“Just be quiet for a bit” How dare you speak to your father this way Sasuke, Kakashi does nothing but love you

“EVERYONE WILL OWN A DOG. GO GET A DOG, HOKAGE’S DECREE!“ you’ve got my vote, Kiba

Mirai as a baby is an absolute unit and I love it

Shikamaru, getting down on one knee in front of Temari: Will you not marry me?

You know what. All these dreams are extremely realistic. I buy it. A teenage boy would totally dream about kicking his friends’ asses for fun even if he had the opportunity to do anything in the world. 10/10 believability

Sai dreams about being told he has a nice smile and being twirled around by Naruto my boooooy 😭😭😭😭😭😭

“[My Sasori transformer] will be the guardian deity of the Sand” Kankuro pls

Omg Temari’s dream is so cute she wants her little brothers to need her

God the fact Gaara’s dream is about having a happy childhood PICK UP THE PHONE RASA I JUST NEED TO TALK

“Madara, don’t you dare talk about the Uchiha. The only one who has that right, is my big brother.” But he did... murder them, Sasuke. That is a thing that happened. My dear. My dude. He done did it.

Having read Itachi Shinden none of this should be shocking but FUGAKU REALLY YOUR SON IS FOUR WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

“Listen Itachi, never forget this sight” well he sure won’t now that you’ve given him CHILD PTSD FUGAKU

“We finally have peace, and we must do our best to maintain it” Hmmm.... must you, Fugaku? Is that a thing you must do?

“What is life, anyway?” Damn my existential dread didn’t kick in at least until I was in school, Itachi

Sasuke was such a weird-looking newborn I love him

I wonder how the English dub will deal with the mild implications of inc/est between Itachi and Izumi

Please Mikoto your son is like 6 why are you having him babysit

God I am so used to every version of Itachi having the voice of a grownass man that hearing a child-like voice even when he is 6 is almost off-putting lmao

Full offence Obito but why do you have to be such a little bitch

“Oh good, I knew that you’d be alright” HE’S 6 FUGAKU

Why is Naruto just sitting in a basket on top of his father’s grave??? Who let you do this? Hiruzen what is wrong with you??

“I’m glad that you didn’t die” an accurate representation of Itachi’s social skills at all ages

DFhsdjfhkdsjhfk I love that Itachi has accidentally become these kids’ leader

AHHHHH I guess that’s Hana next to Itachi I wanna see the cat ninja and dog ninja fight

“If the fighting can be stopped, I’d like to stop it” Shisui <3

Itachi’s sweet tooth is so goddamn cute ahhhh what a little nerd

Hhgfkhjfhl SASUKE’S PAW ENCYCLOPEDIA THE PREQUEL THIS IS WHAT I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED

“I mean, [ladies] are clueless” “How dare you insult my woman” Turns out the alcohol this cat was drinking was Respect Women Juice

God I love Minazuki-sensei he’s such a mess

“No they blew away in the wind” guess Itachi hasn’t picked up his snitching tendencies yet lmao

Baby Sasuke has acquired a younger voice too I guess. It is real late in the game to be establishing these lmao

Obito. I’m. Stop???? Please. Is this how Kakashi felt during the war

God I love Shisui the tiny ninja detective they really have left off some of the cooler aspects of being a shinobi in all the wild and flashy jutsu like during the Land of Waves arc when Kakashi kept noticing relatively mundane clues

“Shisui picked up on how I felt right from the beginning” welcome to empathy Itachi

“I’ll hand this intel over to Lord Hokage, and he will deliver a just and fair judgment” I like this ANBU vs. ROOT dichotomy but bold of you to assume Hiruzen won’t ultimately let Danzo do whatever he wants lol

Damn what the shit how does Shisui know who the foundation already isn’t he like 12

The animation of this arc is nice but also so weird they really did make Itachi and Shisui’s eyes like half of their face

These wholeass adults getting between by two prepubescents lmao

“A teleportation jutsu has no mass” wait WHAT I have so many questions Shisui what does that MEAN

“I want to you to think of me as your older brother” HELL YEAH HE DOES

Ffgdfkghkjh what an abrupt voice change between age 8 and 11 Itachi

How many times have they animated these same goddamn Itachi scenes

Holy shit it’s like they tried to tell the story of the Itachi Shinden novels and then got bored halfway through gfkhgfkhgkjh

“I’m exhaAAAUsted from my mission” Itachi pls why say it like that

“You have the Mangekyo as well?” Fugaku had a friend???? Unrealistic. Blocked

THEY KIDNAPPED NARUTO??? I DON’T REMEMBER THIS IN ITACHI SHINDEN

Genjutsu but I don’t remember that either ?!?!?! Doesn’t Fugaku spend all of Itachi Shinden being emotionally distant and sending Itachi mixed moral messages

Who is the Fugaku hater on this storyboard staff lmao I’m crying

I have a lot of thoughts about this art direction honestly why is everything in the shadows why are the character models so weird why is Itachi suddenly outside in the lightning for his murder discussion meeting instead of inside the council room if you had to shout over lightning people could hear you

“I challenge you to the high jump” “You’re no match for me” Sasuke you’re the most obnoxious seven-year-old in the world I love it

“There’s something that I’d like you to help me with” a very casual opener when you’re proposing the murder of your entire clan but okay

They really leaned into the horror movie aesthetic huh fair enough

I have some objections to register about Izumi’s death like both options are weird but at least in Itachi Shinden she wasn’t humiliated by Obito begging for Itachi to save her she had a degree of awareness and it was an impactful if strange scene

FUCK THE TOBI VOICE I KNEW IT WAS COMING BUT I’M WHEEZING

Cute new ED but also the idea of Tobirama giving anyone a fistbump amuses me immensely

“Who would’ve thought that that scuzzy bearded jerk would’ve been able to use a taijutsu like that” RUDE but also ‘scuzzy’ jhfjghkjhfgj

Omg that’s so funny they literally gave the former owner of Zabuza’s blade the same voice

This doesn’t make any fucking sense how could Juzo have the executioner’s blade when Zabuza would be like 21 when Itachi was 13 oh my god

“The Hidden Mist doesn’t keep any prisoners” unsurprising but interesting

Is this meant to imply that Juzo is killed and then Zabuza immediately finds the sword and starts a coup because that’s hilarious

Wait how does them fighting the Mizukage make any sense isn’t Yagura under Obito’s control lmao who wrote this

Did Itachi just.... accidentally cripple the Mizukage omg [Zabuza screams in the distance]

Hahahaha I know it’s supposed to be evil but it’s really funny that Kakuzu killed his partner for being too slow

“I wouldn’t know how to cater to your moods” kjfhgkdhfgjh Kakuzu just got wrecked by a thirteen-year-old LMAO

“I’m not sure what to do with you... whether to kill you right now or find a way to use you” KILL OROCHIMARU, ITACHI, IT’S GONNA SAVE YOU A LOT OF TROUBLE

Why the hell would Kabuto be hanging out near the Akatsuki anyway isn’t he in a long term infiltration of the Leaf Village lmao or can Orochimaru summon him like a snake

On what basis does Pain decide these partnerships did Kisame and Sasori take a babysitting course or smth

The cutaway without the “This... is art” scene is almost funnier because it implies Itachi just had to flash his eyes at Deidara and Deidara was like, “HELLO AKATSUKI I AM HERE”

“I wouldn’t mind giving you a taste of my art” [insert ninja sex joke about Deidara’s mouth hands here]

Deidara really should not be old enough to be here by this point in the narrative but this entire arc has been wacky timeline wise

Man it must be fucked up to fight a puppet version of your own corpse

“What I really wanted... was to get a hold of Itachi’s body” you are the definition of stranger danger Orochimaru

From what I remember the video games had Kakuzu and Orochimaru approaching Hidan and not Konan and Itachi but I’m game for any Orochimaru erasure lmao

I’m pretty sure all of that blood was Hidan’s?? World-building whomst

“He licked Kakuzu’s blood” did he though?? Show me his wound Itachi

OMG they’re really heavy-handed with Leaf!Itachi as if we did not just watch a bunch of episodes of Itachi caring about his village like honestly look at this:

Kisame: So even you have feelings for your birthplace, is that it?

Itachi: No. Not at all. [Sasuke, I hope that you’re safe.]

(Me too Itachi 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭)

“It’s been a long time... Saaasuke” could you say his name a little less weirdly please Itachi

You really can’t get mad at Kakashi for teaching Sasuke chidori Itachi like maybe if you would murder less people Kakashi would feel a little less overprotective

God was the only point of animating and voicing these scenes again so that Itachi could mentally apologize every twelve seconds? You know what fair enough, anxiety and depression be like that sometimes

“You still have people who’ll protect you” Oh plot twist Itachi was actually writing a “Nice” list instead of a “Naughty” list and Kakashi, Jiraiya and Naruto are all on it

Oh yeah I kind of forgot that this was all supposed to be like a 5 minute span for Sasuke’s flashback of Itachi’s entire life lmao

You know.... it’s real unclear to me how Obito wakes up from his trance lmao he may not be in a cocoon but he’s certainly exposed to the light

“Be careful. We’re surrounded on all sides by four of his shadows” “Yeah I know that” Yeah, Naruto knows it, but Sasuke’s warning where the Shadow Madaras are entirely for Kakashi and Sakura’s benefit BC HE WORRIES MY BABY BOYYYY

“This chakra is even way stronger than Ten-Tails” I really heard “Tenten” there and I was like, wait what did I miss with Tenten kfhkjhgkjhg

OH GOOD ANOTHER UCHIHA FLESH MOUNTAIN JUST WHAT WE NEEDED

“They’re turned into White Zetsu” I hate this nonsensical bit of world-building it made more sense and felt less weird when they were Hashirama clones like what the fuck

Oh I can’t believe this is making me feel almost bad for Madara did Zetsu really edit the Uchiha Stone Tablet’s Tsukuyomi section to say “Peace Plans” ain’t that how like the CIA entraps people

“Hashirama... where did I go wrong” We’d need a lot more time than you have to unpack that Madara

“Countless nights passed” I mean. Was it countless nights. Because I think it was. A couple hours. This war arc spans like two days. I have spent more human hours on this arc than they’ve spent ninja hours in this war

“I can’t believe such a person existed” neither can I Sasuke it’s almost like she was invented specifically for this arc

For real Obito no offence but like why aren’t you dead it just doesn’t make much sense khkjfdhkjhgkjh

Hmmm not 2 be that gal but Kaguya’s voice is v pleasant on the ears

“Sorry to be so rough with you, Obito” Kakashi. You loving, kind, dumb bitch. He stabbed you THREE TIMES in the past two days you really owe him like -1000 apologies

“This is also one of those times where your body just moves on its own” SASUKE CALLED OUT FOR LOVING HIS COMRADES

“I’ve got to get to Naruto” I love your dedication Minato but I feel as though the loss of both of your arms makes helping more difficult

Kakashi is not NEARLY as surprised about this levitation thing as he should be. I think as this point he’s just like. ‘This might as well happen’

All other things aside Kaguya’s really fun to look at damn

Okay okay okay not to look for too much logic in this ninja show but don’t both Naruto and Sasuke have Six Paths chakra why can only Naruto float is a metaphor for Sasuke’s fall from grace

“I am Kaguya’s child” I can only imagine a Game of Thrones-eque shadow flying out the hooha situation

“Just before the seal took hold, she gave birth to me, in order that she could be restored” I can only assume Kaguya fucked Bitterness and Regret and you know.... fair enough

I gotta tell you Zetsu being the primary narrator of this arc is jarring

Tenji seems kinda nice it’s a shame something terrible will probably happen to him

Say what you will about SP’s animation inconsistencies they can animate some beautiful-ass skies

“Is there anything that you desire” Get u a man like Tenji

Fellas is it gay to sit under the stars with your handmaiden who adores you in comfortable silence

“Even now you’re not scared. That just makes me like you more” take a shot every time a man is Like That (bah dum tss)

“Do Not Touch Me,” wow Kaguya mood

I will clarify I said that BEFORE she exploded the men gkhkjfhgkhh

Tenji, that Aino lady is your subordinate are you really gonna leave her with the creepy That man u are not the man I thought you were

“Just tell him, and I’m sure that Lord Tenji will forgive you” to be fair Aino you could’ve elaborated u were just like ‘yup she killed them’ and left it at that

WOW I RESCIND ALL COMPLIMENTS TO TENJI CALM DOWN DUDE

When life gives u lemons use people as fertilizer for ur infinite lemon tree I guess

Are you telling me 1) Gamamaru has existed since the DAWN OF CHAKRA and 2) He knew all about this Tsukuyomi shit just like. Kept it on the DL. WHAT KINDA WORLD-BUILDING

Okay but for real did the Otsutsuki clan stem like.... all the clans, because there’s the Kaguya clan (through Hamura I guess?), and the Hyuga clan definitely through Hamura, and then the Senju, Uchiha, and Uzumaki through Hagoromo like just how many people did your kids sleep with and for that matter how long ago was this

“A real talking toad! Think people would like it if we caught it and took it home?” Why are Hagoromo and Hamura the cutest things in the world this is the sibling content we deserve

“You’re just a snake oil salesman, and not a very good one” oh I think I love Hamura oh no I would love a character who gets stuck on the moon

Take a shot every time a woman exists to die and make a man sad

“She fell in love with the ruler of this land and in time she became pregnant with the two of you” notice that at no point does Gamamaru say they got married can u believe Kaguya invented premarital sex

You know none of this goes against mine and Sloane’s Kagumo theory

“How can you see so far into a toad’s heart that clearly” Gamamaru and Hagoromo’s interactions are killing me

How much time has passed for Hamura’s hair to grow that long

Hamura @ Kaguya: BROTHERS BEFORE MOTHERS

HOW MUCH TIME HAS PASSED FOR HAGOROMO TO DEVELOP THIS BROW RIDGE SAGE LAND TAKES A TOLL

Tenji doesn’t even appear in this flashback about love and betrayal it’s just Kaguya being bitter bc her gal Aino died they were in lesbians together

Every so often I’m reminded that Kishimoto has a twin brother and I wonder what he thinks about making the twins fight

“You enabled me to awaken the mangekyo sharingan and rinnegan” how do u even have words for those things. Didn’t they just happen right this moment

Wow this is all very Little Shop of Horrors, Momma feeds the tree with people juice and in turn it wants to protect her from harm

“I split the Ten Tails into nine souls” SOULS? HAGOROMO CAN... JUST MAKE SOULS. COULD HE POINT AT GAMAMARU AND SAY “YOU ARE TWO FROGS NOW” AND THAT’D JUST BE TRUE?

“We won’t be that far apart,” said Hagoromo, just as his brother was about to teleport to the moon

Side note: Maybe ur crops were failing bc without the moon the tides are all out of whack and you know, the moon was apparently just invented right now

“Time passed, and so did Hagoromo” I love this particular literary device

“Time after time I’d approach the reincarnates of Indra and Ashura” okay so we’re supposed to be down for not only regular reincarnation in Naruto but Indra and Ashura ONLY BEING BORN TO THE SENJU AND UCHIHA CLANS REPEATEDLY WHAT WHO WROTE THIS

Does this mean that people Naruto and Sasuke every 50 years????You’d think the Land of Fire would just. Get used to it

“Just with that alone, a thousands years passed” well at least we have some idea of how much time it’s been since Kaguya era lmao

Ur telling me that this horseshit happened bc Tobirama doesn’t know to leave dead bodies well enough alone

SHHHHH I PREFER THE ZETSU BEING WEIRD HASHIRAMA CLONES

This montage of Zetsu taking credit for everything Madara and Obito did is not appreciated lmao take some responsibility for your actions!!!!

I’m gonna keep harping on this for the rest of the war honestly like where is the ACCOUNTABILITY

“So your teen rebellion continues” LMAO UR NOT WRONG

“I know that this could be our last hurrah, but we gotta give it our best shot” not much of a plan Naruto sweetheart but fair

Tag urself I’m Kakashi’s look of despair at his hormonal students

“And Sasuke? Sorry that my sexy jutsu didn’t work” I was not prepared for the sincerity with which that line was delivered

The Sad Old Man™ energy radiating off Obito is... Immense

“We’re all ready to die” R U THINKING OF RIN BC SHE WAS READY TO DIE OR BC UR READY TO SEE HER EITHER WAY IT’S SAD KAKASHI

“I want to thank you for helping me out. And for helping Sasuke” “No, there’s no need to thank me” this is the first time Obito has been right about something since the age of 13

“I’m not going to waste time on speeches,” said Obito, in the middle of a dramatic speech

Minato..... how did you chop the branch.... with no hands to pick up a kunai???????? What kind of yoga contortion was involved

What I imagine the subtext of this scene to be:

Hagoromo: New old son!!!! I am dad now

Hashirama, whose dad was Butsuma: [choking back tears] Okay

Tobirama: I also hate our father

They’re all taking to this “demi-god pops out of the bottom half of dead ex-comrade” thing pretty well but to be fair they’ve had a complicated day

#ayesha liveblogs nahruto shipduden #liveblogging #ayesha talks anime #naruto series #long post #cutting it off here bc it got long #free meee eng dub

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beabanana · 3 years

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originally written on a yellow paper last february this year

it was august of the year 2009 when i realized i’m not that kind of kid who can enjoy outdoors. i was diagnosed with pneumonia. for 3 years during the month of august, i got admitted at the same hospital, with no friends, spends half of my time in a rusty hospital bed, overdosed with a lot of medications and immune to the scent of hospital halls. it was nostalgic, but in a different way. every year, that was the problem. there are times that i just got used to the idea of it. that time of the year had left me scars on my small youthful hands because of needles and drug injections that is being inserted to me. i have to admit, it was hard, sad and of course, lonely. knowing that you cannot do things that other kids enjoy doing, like playing outdoors because my parents restricts me. they have a weak and vulnerable daughter who always needed some guidance and support in order to go on. if they didn’t do that, another huge amount of money will be wasted for my hospital bills that are exhausting to look at.

i've learned to accept the fact that life of a kid isn’t all about rainbows and unicorns. there are also stormy and sad days. especially my life. throughout my childhood years, i have noticed that i got my introverted personality from my mom and dad. i enjoy keeping myself busy by reading books, watching television, doing board games ‘cause i don’t usually spend my time outdoors with kids near our neighborhood. sometimes, i play and make miniature foods from modeling clay. i want to sell my creations but i don’t have the guts to ask someone to buy clay miniatures from a 10 year old me. i have a wide and broad imagination as a child. sometimes i want to be a doctor, then the other day, i suddenly wanted to become a lawyer. sometimes i want to stop imagining impossible things, but i can’t really help myself thinking about it.

i was enrolled in a private school during my primary school years, as my parents wanted to make sure i’m being exposed with a decent type of kids. well, they made a wrong decision with that 'cause my pessimistic side just got much worse. hahaha why? almost all of my classmates were very smart and they were my teacher’s favorite. i joined my first fieldtrip ever without a guardian and days later, i got a bad asthma attack and missed a lot of activities at school because of my recovery. i always resented my body, my health, my weird personality and the way i look. my 8 year old self believed that i don’t deserve this kind of life so i worked harder to change that. i was so surprised when the school's honor roll announced and i ranked first in my class. my heart raced, actually. for someone like me who hated my whole life finally received something that i can finally call as an "achievement". i made my parents proud and so do i, to myself. (i even got a store bought barbie doll for it, which made me so happy)

i carried my disease until the end of my primary school years. i have lost a lot of opportunities to be on the school's honors list because this sick body of mine is keeping me away to stay on track. i still remember the days when i had to keep up my studies while in the verge of dying. doing homeworks in hospital beds with a needle stuck on my swollen left hand sucks but i had to be strong because i have dreams and i want to see it fulfilled someday having my parents to live a luxurious life using the money i'll earn and of course, to use for their everyday expenses. i have such a high hopes as a kid.

because of the anxiety that i bear since birth, i had problems dealing with my classmates, teachers and the people around me at school. i don't even know how to speak in front of the class. i'm trying my very best to get my missed grades back by giving a huge effort doing written works, but it's still not enough. i knew all these years that i needed to make an exit to my shy and elusive stage of life. i tried actually. numerous times, it's also written on an apple scented notebook i own as a child, but i still go back to school without any progress.

i'm also a huge hater of procrastination, and also a fan of it at the same time. i keep cramming when the deadline is like, 3 hours away. that's why i ended up doing my projects ugly and passing it to my teachers with the pages sticking together because of the wet glue. i guess that's just one of the best talents i have. and i can say that i'm really good at it. cramming is my worst enemy 'cause when i cram, my mental breakdown button is automatically turning on. i cry, i don't eat, ending up not finishing all my works.

one of the hardest obstacle i have faced in my life is, as a family, we always move city by city, depending on my father's call of work. the people i consider as my "friends" are slowly being drifted away from me and i'm having a hard time making new ones. there was also a time where i locked myself up in a room because i can't accept the changes in the environment. i just cry and cry and cry until i fell asleep. i've dealt with that problem for 6 years and that's when i realized that my childhood was really messed up.

looking back at my childhood years was a lot because those years had been a roller coaster ride for me. but i'm still thankful 'cause i've learned a lot. being a pessimist has made me realize that staying this way will not help me in the future. so i set aside all the fears and little by little, i've noticed that it's now okay for me to have a bad days because it's normal if you're a human. i tried stepping out of my comfort zone and now, i can speak in front of many people without being shy and shaky because i kept accepting offers in terms of leading and speaking at school. and i know that this will further improve through the years. i guess i'll just trust time.

my family are very religious. they always have their trust in our lord god and since when i was a baby, they have prayed for the cure of my sickness. we didn't rely that much to the doctors prescriptions and medications and besides, we don't have that huge amount of money for my maintenance, but they have done everything just to make my disease go away. that's when i fully understand why they're locking me up indoors as a child. because they believed that i will be free from any sickness someday. they just don't want to make everything worse for the sake of my happy childhood, because they worry about my future. we prayed and prayed, we relied on what god can do, we praised him and used our time and effort to worship him. i was losing hope, but then he lift me up. who am i now? a very normal 18 year old teenager and a senior high school student, living a very normal and happy life, free from any disease.

what am i today is because of the work of our almighty god. i believe that all those struggles that i am facing today will soon come to an end when you have trust in him. that's why i always put god first before everything else. chooses worship services over school and leaving my class if there's a "tupad". all the prayers that i'm looking forward back then is in my hands now and i truly believe that all i am praying for today will be fulfilled in the near future. yes, i am not strong. i grew up as weak and vulnerable. but now that i am with god, no storms and sickness will stop me from worshipping him. i have learned how to put my whole trust to whatever happens in my life. he is the answer to all of my weaknesses, he is my life.

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aphris · 3 years

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People who Fervently Hate Children/Babies Need Psychological Help

There is no shame in not wanting children. In fact, if you don’t want kids, you shouldn’t have them. People who don’t want kids generally make bad parents. People who simply have no desire to have kids are not who I’m taking about.

Who I’m talking about are people with an active hatred for children or babies. I am talking about the individuals who make jokes (which become less and less ironic) about eating babies or “punting toddlers into the sun”. I’m talking about people (oddly usually women) who are filled with genuine abject disgust when they see a baby either in person or in a picture. That is who this is about.

I have a sister who is like this and I honestly couldn’t give you a single reason why she hates children, but I believe she is a good case study on all the little things that add up to culminate in a person with a horrible hatred for kids.

1) Friends who Uplift This Thinking: I see the way these people talk in their group chats. They name their group chats some variation of “Fetus Destroyer”. If one of them has family that comes over, they sneer at the children and send pictures to these GCs with captions like, “If it starts crying, I’ll feed its toes to the dog.” A family member will announce that she’s pregnant and these individuals will issue a formal and sincere apology, as if she’d just witnessed her dog be run over. Because of the echo chamber, child-hater’s in these friend groups go from a mild dislike of some children to a vitriolic hatred of all children.

2) Pathological Deviance in a Socially Acceptable Way: The people who severely hate children are rarely antisocial or even asocial. They’re not NEETs or people completely rejected from society. They could easily get a job, get into college, etc. They have friend groups of likeminded people who are pathologically deviant in similar ways. Typically, it’s mentally ill biological women/girls. Mind you, they are not mentally ill in a way that is permanent; which I suppose is to say they don’t have Autism, any kind of personality disorder, or any neurologically concrete disorders. They have issues like depression, social anxiety especially, or self harm disorders. This is what makes me believe that their hatred for children is really a hated inward. They clearly hate themselves which is incredibly sad, and this hatred of children is it’s expression. Children, your children, are the perfect combo of you and the person you love (ideally). What people who indiscriminately hate all children are essentially saying is that they do not see themselves as worthy to have children.

3) Societal Indoctrination: This one is pretty simple and pretty obvious. It’s romanticized in pop-culture to remain childless if not forever, then to the very last possible second. There are tons of propaganda campaigns citing eugenic “overpopulation” theories for the reason the world supposedly sucks. It’s couldn’t be because people are acting unsustainably or that globalization for necessities is out of control. No no, it must be Jenny and Greg and their five horrid “crotch goblins”. Poorly preformed study after poorly preformed study (coincidentally all produced by childless old people) shows us that unmarried and childless people are happier. How do these studies define “happy”? Well, it’s along the same lines of how someone with a heroine addiction would describe happiness. There are curiously no anti-child studies that focus on long-term fulfillment which most people would argue is more significant than “happiness”.

4) Pain of Childbirth and Pregnancy: It is no question that pregnancy is difficult and that childbirth is the single most painful thing a human body can naturally go through. But the horror stories that go viral go viral for a reason-- they are uncommon, they are spectacular and terrifying. There is the possibility that in child birth a woman could (uh, trigger warning: graphic??) rip her perineum severely, it is possible that a woman could hemorrhage to death, it is possible that your cervix could turn unfortunate colors (but who except your baby and gyno are ever going to see that??), and it is possible that in child birth a woman could permanently damage her clitoris. But guess what? All of these are rare complications that are unlikely to happen if you have children responsibly when you are young and healthy. Even among high risk individuals, these are relatively rare complications and they are definitely not a reason to hate all children.

Someone hating children should be an immediate red flag for any interaction. Any.

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yakumtsaki · 6 years

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There’s no easy way to say this so I’m just gonna come right out with it: welcome to the most morbid post in Union history. Half the family is getting wiped out in a single update and I don’t mean to point fingers, but it’s 100% Wyatt’s fault. I really need someone to blame so don’t dare try to take this away from me.

Back to the present and not the corpse-filled near future, we actually have some money to spend on our spawn for the first time ever, so Shajar gets a non-completely-depressing room. No more eating from the cat bowl for our kids!

..spoke too soon.

-Is it still there, is it still there??

-YES omg it just looked right at me! Vic! I’m scared!

-Don’t make eye contact with it you fool! Don’t you have any idea about how children work??

After not getting promoted for an eon, Jojo is suddenly killing it, two promotions in a row!

-I know, I was starting to fear I’d be one of those geniuses who are only recognized after death- UGH, what is that obnoxious sound?

That’s your infant child screaming because it was abandoned on the cold hard floor the entire night.

-Oh ok, so standard parenting. For a minute I thought something was wrong.

-There, there, you’re alright. Ok.. OK seriously, stop. God, have some dignity for once in your 12-hour life. Crying in public is so embarrassing.

-NEEEEEEO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Yup. I’ve been so focused on feeding Victor and Alegra’s ancient asses from the bowl of life that I forgot Neo was an elder too, so he’s the first to go even though he’s way younger than them, great job @ me. Goodbye Neo 💔 You were such a good boy, our cat heir, and an integral part in achieving Komei’s life-ruining LTW. You will be sorely missed.

..Apparently by your archenemy Victor most of all. Vicky casually walked off the lot the minute Neo died with no notifications about running away, only to return on his own shortly after. Wtf is going on in this house.

-I had to contemplate the futility of hate.. All this time wasted trying to kill each other and for what.. It's a sunrise and a sunset from a cradle to a casket.

Yea or this lot is already glitched as fuck and it’s only generation 2. Good times.

I was very bummed out by Neo’s premature demise and not in the mood for another kid, but one peek at Jojo and Wyatt’s life bars convinced me to drop the mourning period and circle-of-life this bitch. They are extremely not getting any younger and who tf do I think I am? Someone who knows better than Mufasa?However since a) Jojo is nowhere near his 100k LTW and can’t be taking days off and b) and more importantly, I hate Wyatt, guess who’s carrying this time around!

OH COME ON

GODFUCKINGDAMMIT WYATT

-Huhu!

How the hell did this happen I DEMAND TO KNOW

-Check how your mods work in le futur, idiόt!

..well you got me there.

Jo you are ON FIRE, 3/3! Maybe we can actually complete this 100k bullshit before you’re on death’s doorstep. It’s gonna be close tho, but you know, you just HAD to get knocked up again, so that’s on you.

-No, it’s on YOU.

No, it’s ON WYATT. Let’s just not point fingers and move on, ok? Everyone is equally to blame.

-NO THEY’RE NOT

I’VE MOVED ON I CAN’T HEAR YOU

And now a section I like to call: What the entire fuck is happening. VICTORIA WHAT ARE YOU DOING

-What?? I love babies :)

I legit went back and checked, can you guess how many times Victoria autonomously interacted with any of her kids when they were babies/toddlers? If you had EXACTLY ONE TIME you win..nothing. There are no winners here.

Oh. my. god.

-Stop hogging her already, I wanna feed her too!

-WELL WAIT YOUR TURN DICK. No, not you, baby bobo booboo..

We’ve had our fair share of plot twists around here but this is truly some fucked up shit. In case you don’t get what the big deal is, enjoy this little trip down memory lane aka the Victoria-Komei-parenting-hall-of-fame. Either the ‘age mellows people out’ thing applies to sims too or they got personality transplants when I wasn’t looking. Disturbing.

Of course SOME THINGS never change, no matter how life-ruining for all involved.

-Is this about my LTW, STILL? It’s been like 20 years, GET OVER IT

NEVER

Whachu doing Vic?

-Updating my will to include Komei now that I suddenly love him. Of course someone has to get cut to make that happen..

Well goodbye Daniel I guess!

-..Who the fuck is Daniel?

-I too am making preparations for when I leave this cruel world.

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and assume they’re cat-related.

-NO, not everything is about cats! I have plenty of other interests and concerns.

Name one.

-My beloved son! I’m making sure he takes care of my cats.

Finally, this family’s excellence is starting to be recognized. It’s about time.

-Yea no, this is a recognition that you trainwrecks need all the help you can get.

UGH typical jealous hater bullshit, I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.

Ok, I’ve some idea what you’re talking about. Honestly what else has to happen for me to just. stop fucking throwing kid’s birthday parties? I’m pretty sure we’ve had..one that wasn’t a straight up disaster? God knows those glory days aren’t returning any time soon.

-I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m having a blast :D

Of course you are Gunther, you haven’t been sober since the third year of college.

AND SOME PEOPLE ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THAT. ABSOLUTELY NOT. HALF ALIEN PROF ISTFG

-I’m legit fine with this :)

I legit don’t care, it’s not happening in our sacred home. Also BRIT IS RIGHT THERE JFC you’ve gotten stupid as shit.

You guys seriously, what sins am I paying for, why can’t we have ONE NORMAL NON-INCESTUOUS PARTY. JUST ONE. Daniel heartfarting over his ex, ok, not that weird. Komei heartfarting over his daughter-in-law..getting weird. Gunther heartfarting over Half Alien Prof..reaching for the chlorine to bleach my eyes and then immediately drink.

Nice, get in on that action Wyatt! We almost forgot about your long standing boner for your brother-in-law.

Happy birthday, Shajar! You’re welcome for this amazing party, pay me back by not being ugly.

..yea ok. You did your best with the tools you were given. And I mean the literal giant tools that are your parents. Hopefully Wyatt came through with his somewhat balanced personality???

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. OH MAN. 10 playful, 9 active and 1 nice? Literally sporting Jigsaw’s personality. I mean darling Jojo has 3 nice points and is..how he is, can’t even imagine what Shajar is gonna grow up to be like, but it’s good to know we’re moving in the exact opposite direction than intended.

-Enjoyed your kid’s birthday party, you cheating bastard? WELL PARTY’S OVER

-I may be a cheating bâtard-

-SHUT THE FUCK UP WITH YOUR SELECTIVE FRENCH ACCENT

AW Neo’s ghost making its first appearance and trying to kill Wyatt, what a sweetheart. Welcome to the party!

It was one for the history books!

-How on earth did this party suck, I had an exceptional time.

Yea that’s because you weren’t there, it’s easy to have an exceptional time away from this family. Of course I have never personally experienced it but the mind does race.

-AH at last, my article is published! Oh, editor’s pick too, ha, of course. No, wait, editor’s warning.. As requested by the legal department? Drama queens. “Horrifying views expressed.. Widely discredited.. Not endorsed in any way by this publication.. DERIVATIVE??!!” Well, I know what I’m doing this weekend.

Is it.. rewriting your article?

-Oh, I’ll rewrite it alright. IN BLOOD

Great. Speaking of blood-

-Victor’s thirst for it is back with a vengeance. We went an entire 4 days without a cat fight and I was all like ‘woo new record’ but one thing has become clear since then:

Victor didn’t go away to contemplate shit. He was waiting..plotting..training..and now the time has come for Victor 2: Reign of Blood.

-WHERE’S YOUR GOD NOW??

Seems about right. Honestly Sophie is the wisest one among us because she got tfo just in time to miss THIS:

Yea, unsurprisingly fucking Damien here is one vicious screamer. WHAT DO YOU WANT

-YOUR SOULS

Good luck finding any in this house.

-Who’s my cute little spawn of satan? Who is? Come to grandma baby.

-ONE SMALL STEP FOR ME, ONE GIANT LEAP TOWARDS THE ANNIHILATION OF MANKIND

Wyatt continues to do nothing of use all day and is not even getting promoted anymore due to his tragic lack of skill points. Somehow that led me to deciding he should be the one to get the genie wishes, I honestly dk wtf my problem is.

-Greetings, mortal etc etc. I’m gonna skip over the intro, you know the deal with the dealio, 3 wishes, let’s hit it.

-I was expectànt more of an Aladdin flair but c’est bien I guess..

-DON’T DARE MENTION THAT MOVIE TO ME YOU FRENCH ASSHOLE

-Um, oui, your désir c’est my command..Huhu!

-Is one of your wishes the return of your brain, because you should throw that in there.

-Non, non. C’est but one wish in mon coeur, Genié. To nevér, evér have to interact with my bébés but still have beaucoup of them.. In case you can’t tell, I am sim de famille!

-Ugh yea, that much is obvious.

-Well, your wish is granted, mortal! Let me just flick your nose as hard as I can and we’re done here..

-Pourquoi?

-Oh no reason, just for my own pleasure. Buh-bye!

-And with that, he turned into la fumée, mon cheri! Incrediblé!

-I hate my life.

That makes two of us. As in I hate your life too, my life is pretty good.

KOMEI DO YOU MIND WITH YOUR DANGEROUS CURVES, Jojo has a grueling skilling schedule to keep up with.

-So this is it. Rock bottom.

I mean, you wanted to be heir boo, you got it. It’s a dirty job.

Finally one of the Mortal Kombat cats lives up to its name! GET FUCKED VICTOR

-K.O

Well, we all saw that coming. Victor seriously, you’re like 50yo, don’t do this.

-I’m outta here for the fourth time bitches, and this time I’m not coming back! No man is an island but this cat is.

Ok, see you soon.

Wyatt’s wish is definitely coming true, he has not touched Shajar a single time yet, autonomously or otherwise! What a guy.

-I HAVE NO USE FOR EARTHLY FATHERS, THE ONE I NEED AWAITS US ALL IN HELL

It’s gonna be a long fucking generation.

-WYATT. WYATT YOU DAMN MORON WAKE UP

-Ugh Jojό, I told you, my magique protects me from all bébé interactiόn.

-DOES IT PROTECT YOUR TORSO FROM MULTIPLE STAB WOUNDS

It’s a girl! I’m like why stray from a proven formula, so I name her Cyneswith after another Crusader Kings character, who did not exist irl like Shajar but was still a fire emoji empress of Britannia. Welcome to the shitshow Cyneswith! No offense, it was great to meet you, but we have some important shit to do so..have fun on the floor?

FUCKING FINALLY. It’s promotions only from now on boo!

..Which is more than I can say for some people. Wyatt seriously, can you move your useless ass up the ladder already so we can avoid having this freak in our house EVERY SINGLE DAY.

-The boy’s just following his heart ;)

Half Alien Prof you are by far the biggest pervert I’ve ever had in this game and Jojo spent his entire teenagehood trying to start a bdsm relationship with Stephen Tinker.

Well, Victor predictably died off lot, which is so on brand for him I’m not even mad. An insufferable dick to the very end, he lived to eat and to start fights with every animal he ever came in contact with. He only ever really loved Victoria. I’m gonna miss him so much.

Victor may have died, but that’s not going to stop the police department from trying to return him to us. Just remember that that place is under Wyatt’s supervision and it all makes sense.

Can hardly wait, Professional Make-Up Cop.

-I want to play a game, Alegra.

Man is someone gunning to be put up for adoption!

-Papa’s birthday présent to you, Shajar, is us finally meeting! Breathe it in, mon favori, I’ll be seeing you again on your next anniversaire!

-Wyatt I swear to fucking god, I will stab you.

Can we get this going please, I’m in NO MOOD.

Not bad at all! A pretty even mix of Wyatt/Jojo and I see you def did not get the Komei jaw, which is pretty much angels singing.

-Angels singing makes my eyes roll in the back of my skull.

You make my eyes roll in the back of my skull.

-What?

What. I didn’t say anything. Love you Shaj!

-One more for the road babe? After 50 years?

Yea. Just pretend everything that follows has a broken heart emoji before and after each word.

I dress Vic up and have her wait for Death in the living room like a lady, none of those ‘dying in the bathroom in my underwear’ deaths, befitting people like Wyatt. However ideal the circumstances as far as death goes, my heart still broke in more pieces than cats Komei has petted.

-VICTORIA UNION

-Marisa? Is that you?

-NO, IT’S-wow cool armchair, where did you get-no, sorry, you’re dying and all, let me start over..

-VICTORIA UNION, YOUR TIME HAS COME. I’M HERE TO COLLECT YOUR WRETCHED SOUL

-What? My soul is not wretched jerkoff, the fuck you talking about?

-THAT’S JUST A THING WE SAY BECAUSE IT SOUNDS COOL, PLEASE DON’T RUIN IT

-HERE’S YOUR COMPLIMENTARY VIRGIN MARGARITA

-Virgin??? Oh god, I’m going to hell aren’t I?

-YOU WERE, BUT YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER MADE SOME CALLS ON YOUR BEHALF. WELCOME TO HEAVEN

-Yes, I can taste the alcohol in this! GOING GONE, BITCHES. LATES

The stacks of simoleons DID NOT EASE MY PAIN. I do love that Daniel got the most final version of ‘and none for Gretchen Weiners, bye’ possible.

Jojo is fucking devastated and immediately rolls the want to resurrect Vic. It’s bummy af, I’m not even gonna go for the obvious oedipal jokes, he was just crying for days and days and days..

Komei, on the other hand, WAS NOT.

-Eh, I’ll be seeing her soon enough, why waste the tears.

Now that I think about it Komei has never cried about any of the cats either, I think he’s just the type of person who deals with grief by suppressing it. Whatever works.

Jojo and Wyatt are always having these fashion talks whenever they’re eating which are hilarious because I can see Wyatt being into it, I mean he’s french, but in what world is fucking nerd Jojo interested in clothing. Not even that can cheer him up now 💔

Fucking Florence, bringer of doom, returns Sophie to us and the moment she does:

Tell me how am supposed to live without you, now that I've been loving you so long, how am I supposed to live without you, how am I supposed to carry on, when all that I've been living for.. is gone 💔

FUCK YOU FLORENCE

Jfc the blows just won’t stop coming. LEAVE US ALONE WE’RE IN MOURNING

Time for Cyneswith’s depressing ass birthday which I can’t give less of a fuck about, and apparently neither can Wyatt but then again he wouldn’t even if we weren’t ~back to black.

Loving the hairstyle but it does look ridic on a toddler. Good for you for committing to your british aristocracy character tho, very Downton Abbey.

Well the Komei jaw always knocks twice and apparently we let it in this time. Are you beautiful on the inside Cyneswith?

OH. MY. FUCK. BYE. CYNESWITH YOU FUCKING FREAK

-Huhu!

NO SHE GOT THE HUHU. GOD HELP US

Cyneswith dramatically enters the toddler stage by immediately going into aspiration failure.. You can all guess where this is going.

-KOMEI UNION YOUR TIME HAS COME. I’M HERE TO COLLECT YOUR-

-Yea yea whatever, are my cats waiting for me? If you say no I will literally kill myself.

-I DON’T THINK YOU’RE GRASPING THE CORE CONCEPT OF DEATH, BUT YES THEY ARE WAITING.

-I’M OUT. TELL THE WOLF I LOVED HIM

KOMEI 💔 I’m sorry but we will not be delivering that message.

Apparently Jojo and Komei legit bonded at some point?? I was expecting like a half-hearted sigh but instead we got sobbing-

-and this sum that does not imply ‘least favorite kid’ AT ALL.

Well you know how the old saying goes: nothing will ever replace your parents but a helicopter will come close.

Also in mourning: this breakdancer npc that randomly appeared on our lot and stayed stuck there for 2 days before I finally batboxed her into oblivion. This lot is fuuuucked y’all.

And generation 1 is officially over. Rest in peace Komei and Victoria, legacy founders, horrible spouses and somehow even worse parents. You stuck it out and were fun to play till the very end. I’ll really miss you guys 💔

#ts2 #gen 2

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luckyinmoonlight-blog · 7 years

Text

CHAPTER TWO

“So… I don’t get it.” Annie said as she stretched out her long legs onto the reclined pool chair.

We both let the warm Rhode Island, early September sun tan us. It was Labor Day weekend, and it was nice to be with my family and Annie all together again.

“What do you mean? I already explained it all.”

“Here is what I’ve gathered. You met Harry fucking Styles. He seems about damn near perfect. But you are scared of dating him? So you’re going to drop him like a hot potato.”

“So you do understand.”

“That is actually the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in my twenty-two years of life. Congratulations.”

“You don’t get it.” I sighed.

“Nope.” She replied popping the “P” for dramatic effect. “I really don’t”.

“Can you imagine what they would say about me?”

Annie took off her black Ray Bans sunglasses and looked at me, her warm brown eyes sincere. “If you’re going to let the media affect you so deeply, you’ve picked the wrong profession, Molls.”

“I know. It’s just I’m a brand new artist. No one knows me, or what I’m about yet. I wanted to be known for my music, and my songwriting ability.”

“And your killer vocal range,” Annie added in.

“That too, thanks. I don’t want to be known as Harry Styles’ one-time fling that got her famous. You know?”

“I wouldn’t mind being known as Harry Styles one-time thing honestly-”

“Annie! I’m being serious!” I whined before I picked up my cup of lemonade and took a swig.

“I just don’t need any negative attention yet, or that is what Jessie keeps telling me.”

“Jessie,” Annie said with an eye roll.

“Stop, she has my best interest at heart.”

“Sure she does.”

“Why do you hate her so much?”

“She’s bossy. She thinks she walks on water. She thinks that just because she’s from Los Angeles and we are from Green Hills, that she is better than all of us. Guess what she isn’t. She’s a stuck up little-” Annie’s voice trailed off as we heard my brother and his fraternity brother Justin running towards the pool before they both front flipped in causing a massive splash to overcome myself and Annie.

“Spencer! Justin!” I screamed as the boys came up laughing.

“God, they are annoying. I’m so glad I’m an only child.”

“You’re like my sis, Annie.” Spencer called from in the pool as he did a backstroke.

“You are not like my sis, Annie. So if you ever want to come visit me at USC, just know my room is available.” Justin responded with a wink. Causing a giggle to arise from Spencer and me.

“Gross. I’m grabbing a beer, are you coming, Mollie?”

“Absolutely.” And just like that we started our day drinking festivities at my parents rented beach house. Three cheers for family vacations!

“Have you named your album yet?” My mother asked as we all sat around the table on the back deck overlooking the ocean eating our salad and steak.

“Not yet, we’re playing around with a few different options. Jessie thinks-”

“Ugh. Not her again!” Annie said with her signature eye roll. Annie had been my best friend since we were thirteen. She had been around my family so much that she was practically one of us.

“You’re not a fan of Jessie, Annie?” My mom asked intrigued. My mother loved good gossip.

“I think she’s pretentious is all.”

“You know who isn’t pretentious? Me.” Justin added before picking his fork and stabbing a big piece of filet mignon before popping it into his mouth.

Justin was new. He was my brother’s fraternity brother at the University of South Carolina. This was mine, Annie’s, and my family’s first time meeting him.

“You eat like a caveman,” Annie replied looking disgusted.

“Are all ECU girls snobs?” Justin not so subtly whispered to Spencer. Spencer shrugged but Justin shrugged as well, “It’s kind of hot.”

“I wish every night could be like this. Out here on the back deck sitting by the ocean. Having your father do the grilling, so I don’t have to cook.” My mother sighed before taking a drink of her sparkling water. The beach was most definitely her happy place.

“I miss little ole Nashville.” Was not so surprisingly my father's reply.

“We know. Meanwhile, I’ve been ready to move to Rhode Island, since we first started vacationing here when the kids were still so little. Now we have a music star, and well…. Spencer.”

“Gee, thanks, Mom.”

“Oh, you’ll do great things. Once you survive your college days!”

“Enjoy it, Spencer, before you marry some crazy girl.”

My family was your typical normal family, but I loved our little moments like this.

“I bet we can finish this entire bottle of Moscato tonight.” Annie smiled before pouring more barefoot Moscato into my empty wine glass.

Everyone had gone to bed by now, Spencer and Justin got so drunk after dinner they both went upstairs before they passed out. As for my parents, well old people have their bed times. That left Annie and me to drink and gossip to our heart's content.

“Not sure if we should be proud of that or-”

“No one is here to judge us, so let’s live it up for the end of summer. Drink up!”

I took a long swig of the sweet wine before placing it back on the coaster that sat on top of the small table in front of the couch. Being here in Rhode Island at the beach house my family always rented gave me a sense of serenity. I was able to calm down and relax from all of my stresses about songwriting, and promoting myself.

But there wasn’t a day that I didn’t think of Harry. He hadn’t contacted me all weekend. I knew that I shouldn’t talk to him, he wouldn’t want to waste his time on a nobody like myself, right? But that night in New York City… it was so magical. I kept reminding myself that we just both happened to be in the same place at the same time. It’s not like there was anyone else around that was readily available for him to hang out with.

This boy already had the power to shatter my heart. I knew that without a doubt. It was smart to be hesitant about developing feelings for Harry Styles. I was doing the right thing by not allowing him to distract me from what is really important in my life right now. He was just lonely and I was there.

Now I am lonely and I wish he was here.

I sighed before taking another giant swig of wine before I glanced up at the television in complete and utter shock.

“Hey turn the volume up, Annie.”

Annie grabbed the remote and turned up the volume, her mouth falling open in shock. “No fucking way.”

On E! some nobody reporter was talking causally not bothered by what was coming out of his mouth, and he was talking about me.

There was my picture plastered on the television screen. On the same screen, there was also Harry’s picture plastered right next to mine.

“It appears our favorite Harry Styles’ has caught his rebound. We all know that Styles’ and Kendall Jenner were seen together in Los Angeles about a month ago. Now it appears Kendall is happily in love with a photographer, his name we do not know yet. Looks like Harry has been cozying up to a newbie singer, Mollie Roark, all in hopes of making Kendall jealous. Stay on E! to get exclusive updates on this story!”

“You are so not anyone’s rebound.”

I sat on the couch, face pale and white. Not even sure if I was fully breathing. This is what I wanted to avoid. Now, my name is plastered all over E! news as Harry Styles’ fucking rebound.

“Say it. You are not his rebound.”

“I need more wine.”

“No problem. Be right back.” Annie shot up from her spot on the couch and ran into the kitchen as if the couch had been on fire. I didn’t need more wine. I already had a slight buzz, but I needed anything to distract me from the hurtful words of just being my dream guy’s rebound.

Then a dark and twisted thought crossed my mind. Don’t check twitter. Don’t fucking do it.

And when a thought like that enters your mind, you absolutely do it. And like an ididot, I searched myself on the worst website ever created, Twitter.

I’m not saying she’s a gold digger but…. #mollieroark

Just what the world needs another famous singing whore #mollieroark

Let me be caught with Harry to get famous. Who am I? #mollieroark

My songs suck so I’m going to get famous from Harry Styles #mollieroark

Annie walked back over to the couch with two bottles of wine in her hands, “Look, Molls, I got the good stuff!” just as tears were beginning to stream down my face.

“What? No Mollie, don’t cry-” setting the bottles down on the table Annie sat beside me and hugged my gently as I began sobbing loud ugly sobs. My nose was running and I am sure I looked like a complete disaster.

“Everyone is going to think I’m a sellout.” I managed to sniffle out as I calmed down a little.

“Well, are you?”

“What? No, I’m not-”

“Okay, I know that. You know that. Shit, Harry knows that.”

I guess she was right, I just really didn’t want to have my first scandal before my album was even officially out yet.

“Look, let’s not worry about this right now. We are on vacation, just like old times. Rumors will happen, but we know the truth. We aren’t going to let haters get us down are we?”

“No- I just don’t understand how they knew I was hanging out with him.”

“I don’t either. We can get to the bottom of it later, but tonight we are going to just have Annie and Mollie time, just like we used to okay?”

“Okay.” I sniffled again before she popped the cork off the next bottle of wine and filled my glass again.

2:00 AM

“I love this song!” Annie yelled as Music Feels Better by Selena Gomez thumped through the speakers on the back deck. We were definitely drunk by this point of the night.

I felt free, loose, and like I could really dance, which I absolutely couldn't. We swayed our hips to the ocean breeze and spun each other around without a care in the world.

“I think I should get us some water now.” Annie laughed as she tried to twirl but ungracefully fell onto the deck with a thud.

“Oh my God! Are you alright?” I stumbled over to her not seeing straight.

“Uh yeah, you look worse off than me.”

“True.” I flopped onto the deck chair and closed my eyes to stop the spinning.

“Yep. We need water, I’ll be right back.” Annie loudly stopped her feet back inside and slammed the door so hard I was shocked my parents didn’t wake up and come down and yell at us for all of the commotion.

My iPhone vibrated against the table. In my drunken state, it took me a minute to figure out what was happening. I peered down through my foggy vision, not being able to read my caller ID. I picked up the phone and answered it anyway.

“Hello?”

“Hey Mollie, it’s me.”

“Me? Who is me?” It was hard to put a name to the voice in my intoxicated state.

“It’s Harry.” He laughed his beautiful laugh, and wait, who?!

“Um, hi.”

“Sorry, if it’s late wherever you are. I don’t actually know where you are. Um, I’m in LA, right now and-”

“It’s late.”

“Oh sorry, were you, um sleeping?”

“No.”

“Oh, can I ask what are you doing?”

“Drinking.”

“I can call back.”

“What did you need?”

“Shit!” Annie mumbled as she slammed the back door open again.

I focused my attention on Harry. The perfect boy who probably ruined my chance at a reputable singing career.

“I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Why wouldn’t I be okay?”

“What? I’m sorry, it’s just you are kind of slurring your words.”

“Who are you talking to?” Annie said in more of a scream than a normal speaking voice.

“Mollie, what’s going on? I’m worried about you.”

“You’re worried about me? Why, because everyone is calling me one of your little whores?”

“I didn’t mean for that to happen. You know your not.”

“I’m your next little rebound huh?”

Annie was nodding her head while simultaneously spilling her water bottle all down her shirt.

“Mollie, no. I feel bad.”

“Sure ya do, Styles. Do you know how awful this makes me look?”

“I never meant for this to happen to you.”

“Well, it did. Now my career is shit, thanks to you.”

“I’m sorry Mollie! Don’t blame me, please. Look, I'm flying to London tomorrow, come see me-”

“Fuck off, Harry Styles.” And then I hung up.

And instantly after I hung up, I thought about going to London... because I've never been there before, and it was beginning to spark my interest.

#harry styles #harry styles ff #harry styles fan fiction #harry styles writing #harry styles fanfiction #1d fanfic #1d ff #spinning fields #spinningfields #sfch2

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