#I am VERY self-conscious of my ability and consistency as an artist | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lazylogic · 1 year

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TL;DR: I’ve let my online art presence and the internet as a whole become so weighty to me that I’m constantly having a meltdown over how the internet has changed and how I present myself online, so I’m cutting myself off from being an artist on the internet, because it seems like the only healthy option for me right now.

I think I need to stop posting online entirely. As drastic and melodramatic as that sounds, I’m spending time on an internet that I hate, wishing for an internet that no longer exists. I’ve repeatedly ~taken breaks from social media to try and detox~, and it does help in the short term, but eventually I just fall back into my “existential art crisis” and become anxious, stressed, and frustrated again, hating myself and hating every choice I’ve made up to this point. I’m happy when I draw at my own pace, but I’m quickly overwhelmed by the “I’m not posting enough so people won’t like me anymore” anxiety I get.

I know I’m like, the only one who feels this way, the only one who cares this much and takes art this seriously that I’ve let it crush me so much. For some reason my art and my ability to draw is so deeply ingrained in my identity and sense of self, and it’s become so monumentally important to me that it’s worn me down this much. But I know I’m not the only artist online who feels pressure to perform every day, who compares themself to others, who feels burnt out every month, and who is constantly fighting with the evolving technology and society that seems to be consistently designed to screw us. I know many have been able to adapt, and have done it smoothly, and I commend them and am incredibly happy for them. I’m proud to have happy and well-adjusted art peers! I can’t do that. I want to put in the effort to adapt, I have to many ideas to share and stories to tell, but I’m just…spent. Every time I try, it takes up all of my very limited energy, and I’m back to hibernation mode again. I am tired. I’m too small, sensitive and self-conscious to simply keep trucking along. My fragility makes every effort so painful. I really cannot do this anymore.

Posting my art online used to be fun. I loved connecting with people over fan art, OCs, gushing with other artists about each other’s creations, and getting love and support from people who found enjoyment in it. I used to get kind asks on Tumblr just complimenting my art or encouraging me when I posted a vent piece. Tumblr especially used to be my chill place. Most of those people, along with that happy and peaceful environment, are gone now. Old Tumblr is dead, old DeviantArt is gone, I feel detached from FA more than I ever have. Everything feels scattered and divided, and people are so jaded, which I really can’t blame anyone for. No matter where I go, I don’t feel like I belong anywhere anymore, and I don’t really want to be anywhere, either. I feel like I don’t even fit in with my own demographic, no matter what I try. I can’t emphasize enough that I’m trying to post for and enjoy an internet and online community that no longer exists. It’s my own fault for living in the past. Everything is far too fleeting now, engagement is king and constant streams of new content, as well as outrage, equals that. Everyone else seems to be able to change so readily with it, and I’m still stuck figuring things out from five years ago. I can’t seem to recognize or understand anyone anymore, either. I can’t keep up, and I don’t want to try to anymore.

I think what I wanted the most for my art was for it to resonate with people. It’s always been my favorite thing to do for fun, and it always made me so happy knowing my art made someone’s day better, even if it was just Hattie being silly or cute fan art. The idea that I could make someone breathe easier because I drew something soft and comforting is incredibly meaningful to me. But my art was always a powerful emotional outlet for me, too. I know my vent art would often dip into edgy territory, especially in my teenage years, and I withdrew from drawing vent art as a whole because I became too self-aware of it and I felt too exposed. But it was real, and it came from a real place and real emotions, and that’s still important to me. I feel emotions very strongly. I wanted to say something and be understood. And I guess that’s what I still want? To be understood, like anyone else would want, I guess.

I don’t even know what I want out of posting online anymore, or why I bother to check it. Every bit of engagement I get feels more empty than rewarding, and that discrepancy keeps growing. I hate it, because I know it’s because my brain has been trained to want more. I hate that I need more and more validation that people care about me via my art, because it used to be purely mine. And I want so much for it to just be mine again. It’s really felt like I’ve been drawing for everyone else for such a long time, and I guess that’s also my own fault. I feel trapped here. I really don’t enjoy drawing anymore, and I never get the urge to like I used to, and I cannot express how much that absolutely guts me. I always say social media is what ruined it for me, but I know that my participation in social media was my own choice, so I know I actually ruined it for myself.

I have a lot of work to do. I need to just get better as a person, fix my mental health, gain any semblance of self-worth so that I’m not breaking down every week over my value as an artist being synonymous with my value as a person (before you wonder, I am working with mental health professionals regularly now). I know I complain a LOT about the internet and how it’s changed, but I need to make it very clear that I don’t meant to put the blame solely on all of that for my mental state. I recognize that I just have a lot of issues and I make things harder for myself all the time. I’m chronically living in the past and unhappy with the present, and that’s 100% a me problem. This is the only move I can think of that will allow me to actually focus on getting my shit together; removing the option of being an online artist altogether. I can’t cheat and peek at Twitter and slowly make my way back after three weeks. While I’m at it, I will probably stop posting everywhere else too (not that I was really posting much anyway). I don’t want to say I’m leaving forever but I will say that I want no more expectations, I’m not gonna be posting anymore, basically until further notice. I have to figure my shit out for real. I’m not sure if this will even work, it might just make things worse for me. But I’m just at a loss and I feel like I need to do something. I don’t know if my absence from online art posting will cause me to miraculously enjoy drawing again and a year from now I’ll have a massive backlog to show everyone, I’ll be fixed and happy…I don’t know. I just know this isn’t for me, not right now.

I feel guilty doing this, because I have people who have been following me and supporting me for well over a decade, and I think you guys deserve better than this. It’s a big part of my motivation for doing this to begin with - I’m kind of ashamed to show myself to these awesome people every day, I feel like I owe everyone more than just my gratitude, but I haven’t been able to deliver consistent art or content in years. I feel like I'm letting so many people down every day, and ultimately I feel the same about leaving. But I need to get better first. I think about everyone all the time and feel so lucky and so stupid. I know it’s dramatic, but to everyone, thank you, and I’m sorry.

For anybody going, “it’s not that deep,” I’ve heard that plenty. This post isn’t for you.

I’m not completely disappearing from the internet. If you want to get into contact with me, you can add me on Discord at RealaChao#7312. I will still accept commissions privately for now, so just reach out to me (I’ll update my commissions Carrd site if I decide to close them). I won’t necessarily be deleting my accounts, but I will be logging out of everything at least and disabling notifications, so please don’t message me on Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, or anywhere else expecting a reply. You can also email me at [email protected]. Lastly, my main focus these days has been my Neocities, so you’re welcome to check that out (though it's largely a draft right now). It’s not going to be an art site, though, at least not only art. It’s gonna be my quiet home.

I also posted this here. Genuinely, thanks for everything.

#txt #look! lazy is making a big dramatic post again #relentlessly pokes fun at my verbosity #if you do add me: please please be patient with me #socializing is hard #i love you guys <3 #yes i made a brand new discord account for this because i wanna keep my main one private

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academicdisasterfic · 2 years

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Letters in Transition, 12 February 2022

A collaborative correspondence between @ihopeyoubothstaysafefromharm and I, inspired by our encounters with fic as queer, trans boys. Letters, words and art exchanged at the start of an unrestrained life.

Previous entries can be found here.

In this letter I reference All the Young Dudes by MsKingBean89, If the Fates Allow by Saras_Girl, 1.40am by @softlystarstruck, Modern Love by @tackytigerfic, and my own fic Seasick.

Dear Joy,

I love the idea that we would write to each other in our dreams. Perhaps there is a Dream Rooney and a Dream Joy, a little less sad and unburdened by reality than Real Life Us, and all they talk about are things like clouds and the smell of old books and chai lattes. Maybe they experience joy, rather than the promise of joy.

The fic that got me back into fandom was All the Young Dudes, and to my surprise, the character I related to most wasn’t the introverted, sarcastic Remus, or the impulsive, messy Sirius, or the righteous, loving Lily — it was James Potter. And I didn’t quite know why, because I am not particularly confident, or outgoing, or attractive. But then, during the War chapters, James gets hurt, and Remus thinks this:

Not James…How could there be a world without James Potter? You might as well picture a world without kindness, or laughter, or mischief.

And I realised that the reason I saw myself in this character was because in a work so defined by tragedy and loss, James always, always, maintained hope, and my hope has more or less been the only consistent part of me.

I used to resent my ability to hope. Without hope, I would have never transitioned, or left my relationship, or decided to move - I would have stayed exactly where I was, because I wouldn’t have believed something better existed for me. But I did, and so I had to change; it wasn’t even a choice. And I hated that. I hated that I knew, for a very long time, that what I had simply wasn’t enough, and would never be enough. I didn’t want to want more.

I didn’t think that I deserved to hope.

How do you believe you are worthy of desire, of yearning, of joy? How do you learn to give those things to yourself without judgement? How do you surrender to your heart?

I began to figure it out when Harry quit his job in If the Fates Allow, when Draco let Harry love him again in 1.40am, when they finally fuck in Modern Love and there’s nothing sacred about it, just this desperate, filthy, entirely human need.

I don’t apologise when I need to be alone anymore. I pause to watch the way milk swirls when I pour it into tea. I buy luxury vibrators. I pay for a monthly Mario Kart Gold subscription. I listen to nothing but Taylor Swift on my indulgently long walks. I take mental health days. I tell my friends I love them probably too much and too intensely. I stare at art, and I read smut at coffeeshops, and I sometimes take the long way home from work and sit on my favourite pier and watch cleaning videos on TikTok.

I create these little pockets of joy, and it’s often self-conscious and difficult and goes against every instinct I have to let myself experience pleasure, but I do it anyway, because I don’t want to leave behind a world that was sadder for my existence.

James’ optimism was misplaced; he died, his wife died, his friends were destroyed in the wake. But he was so happy while he was alive - so what does it matter that he was wrong?

I want to be like that. Who cares if it’s unrealistic or naive to be hopeful? Who cares if I never find what I’m looking for? I’d rather live my life that way than live a life in preemptive defeat.

Anyway, I would love to draw you something in return, but alas I have zero (0) artistic talent, so here is a picture of my favourite pier. It’s where I thought up the concept for Seasick.

I think I wanted to show you because your art makes me feel the same way as this pier does - that perhaps hoping isn't so ridiculous, after all.

All my love,

Rooney

#joy and rooney contra mundum

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eltigreus · 4 years

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what’s changed?

when I was younger (not that I now am old or anything), I used to tweet, livejournal, post, share, reblog (with vivacious commentary), and unabashedly expose my self and my expressions in whatever manner I could think of on a daily basis, wherever possible. multiple times a day, in fact. the epitome of screaming into the void - simply for the sake of assuring myself that I am alive and I have thoughts/feelings. but now...

I find myself: habitually/obsessively running my thoughts and opinions through judgement filters before even allowing myself to consider them; reactively scrutinizing the art and expressions of others for no good reason other than to be contradictory; scavenging the depths of my mind for good content and throwing out practically every seed I pull up before it even has a chance to be germinated; refusing to share anything of myself that feels underdeveloped or inadequate for this social platform or that; and (at times, desperately) looking for any minuscule moment of every day life interesting enough to capture on video that I could share with friends, family, followers, and anyone else that might help to contribute to the proliferation of vast opportunity for creation in the realm of entertainment for myself and my cohorts.

“What happened?”

how did that bombastically outspoken, overly-enthusiastic, naïvely ostentatious young artist end up this way?

a while ago, I spoke to a friend who told me,

“You’re all dusty? You used to be so much... shinier?”

to which I immediately shrunk in reaction. “life happened,” I thought to myself.

but, whose life is it? whose life are you leading? whose life are you aspiring towards? is it one of your own creation and desire or is it the one you were indoctrinated to believe is the only “true” option for success in your profession? the one with flagrantly rapid [commercial] success, un-stifled money flow, influential notoriety, and - of course - lots and lots of beautiful [men] of all shapes and sizes at the tips of your fingers awaiting your beck and call?

the reality of this enviable latter life is one only a privileged few get to lead in the business of entertainment; and it is apparent that a vast majority of those few don’t look like me, nor would they refer to themselves as “movement artists” - nor do they seem to register aloud their own contributions (or lack thereof) to the privilege of living this reality; that’s another tangent emotional pi.

“You’re all dusty?”

I’ve had the dirt kicked up on me quite a few times before that day when I met my friend. I had felt myself becoming much more dull in the months that preceded this meeting, but never was able to admit to myself what was happening until someone else was awake enough (and loved me enough) to point it out to me.

“You used to be so much... shiner? You can’t keep giving and giving your light away to other people. You have to replenish and recharge yourself if you want to have anything at all to give to someone else.”

these were some of the things my very conscious friend had said to me that day. he was/is right.

I love to give and I love to avoid myself. but, clearly, this wasn’t always the case. frequently, I attributed this development to the consistent loneliness I was experiencing (even before the quarantine). upon further reflection, I think it would actually be more accurate to say “this re-development” of myself. I think, perhaps, the reason that bombastic young artist was so unapologetically expressive was because he had the time to be so; he had the time to be bored enough to indulge in his own organically-sprouted curiosities and decided to respond to his findings aloud - to himself, to anyone who might hear in passing, to whomever.

the reality was that the make-up of his audience was of no importance; the importance was the act of sharing, the purity of expression - of earnestly recounting experience and emotion. not being concerned with how to indulge in dialogue but inherently knowing that the conversation must be started in order for one to begin to learn.

so how can I expect myself to be so suddenly inspired now when I never give myself enough time to relax and be bored?

quite probably possibly, the production mindset has skewed my view of [my] value. though the efficiency skills I now posses are very useful in a creative process when time is not on our side, the incessant need to constantly produce something in order to feel sufficient - to feel purposeful or worthwhile in any manner - can take irreversible tolls on the body and psyche.

“You’ve got to save some light for yourself.”

I have given my light to choreographers, directors, producers, employers, educators, entrepreneurs, puppet masters, and clowns all with varying degrees of mutual benefit as collaborators and acquaintances. you can tell the ones who are ready to reciprocate your efforts of light-giving from a mile off and - hopefully - you make the effort to ensure that you are able to stick around and continue trading frequencies/creative opportunities. but, why is it that one would choose to stick around when one’s intuition screams at them that their currently-involved endeavor is a one-way highway and all signs along the road offer (clearly threatening) admonitions of fines, tickets, and legal action against those that pick up... hitchhikers?

though you inherently know better, for some reason, you still hope the ones who are there to take what they need and then thank u, next themselves out of your realm of existence will somehow (miraculously) see you as something... special? some thing “worth” taking the time to get to know and grow with. unique enough to take a chance on for a fantastical project that is bound to be the next multi-million dollar franchise which will set you up to do whatever it is celebrities do when they’re not being famous... for the rest of your life? it sounds as ridiculous as it is.

it’s hilarious (and unsurprising), but my professional life and personal life have very closely mirrored parallels. to consider myself a “hitchhiker” in regards to my past methods of approach at forming relationships (romantic and otherwise) with humans is, unfortunately, fairly accurate. the co-dependent nature of matrimony which had been instilled in me since I was a young one has very undesirable affects when put into practice as an “independent adult.”

but how could you expect anything different when your focus is divided between your profession, your partner, your bills, your friends, your dog, your chores ... this list goes on and on. when do you turn your undivided attention inward to reflect on what it is you need/want? I’ve found that even when I am involuntarily alone, I tend to refuse avoid every opportunity for relaxation and self-consideration. (un)fortunately (for me), the Pandemic currently circulating our Mother Earth has removed virtually all possibilities for external distractions. (a moment of singularity is much more easily served surrounded by accessible bars, intoxicants, and unimaginably beautiful people, after all - no?)

before I run off my rails, I think I must pull this train of thought into the station. this lengthy rumination of my past experiences is not meant to serve as a “warning” for those interested in undertaking an artist’s life. I write this, first and foremost, to employ what I’ve criticized myself for not doing throughout this piece: I write this as an act of screaming into the void once again.

I write this to assure myself of my own ability to communicate emotions/thoughts and experiences, and to remind myself of how much I love to do so. I write this also to offer another perspective to others who may feel jaded or deceived along the current portion of their artistic journey. I write this as an act of defiance against my own insecurities.

I write this in the hopes of encouraging whomever might stumble upon it to give yourself a break and assess/pursue what it is that will bring you true fulfillment in this life.

I write this... because I wanted to? because I wanted to. because I wanted to express myself without being bogged down by the waterfall of irrelevance that my mind produces when it feels unsafe or exposed. because I am an expressive human who must allow room for expression when the motivation is pure.

because I’m trying to cure myself from this long-time build up of artistic epididymal hypertension.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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renaroo · 4 years

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A Cass with Many Faces

About a month ago, specifically on Cassandra Cain’s fictional birthday, I made a few posts dedicated to one of the fictional characters that have had a visible, measurable impact on my life, and has continued to do so since I first picked up an issue featuring her in 2004. I was twelve years old at the time and the issue in question was the fifth of a six-issue arc starting off Superman/Batman. I picked up the issue because Superboy -- my then-favorite comic book character -- was on the cover including some other characters I was mildly familiar with. And the character that I came away with the most intrigue in was, of course, Cassandra Cain.

Next time I was at my LCS, I picked up an issue of her solo series that was still ongoing at the time [Batgirl (2000-2006) #47] and instantly fell in love.

I’ve made posts before about how a scattershot strategy can be a good thing when talking about characters in multimedia franchises. Characters are more likely to endure in these environments if they are given more presence, and more significance, when more voices are advocating for them.

In the past, I was speaking about my experience in seeing the opposite happen with Cassandra.

I can honestly say I would have never checked out Cassandra Cain had it not been for her minor appearance in a silly comic four years after her debut. I was twelve, and still fairly new to DC Comics having grown up with a Marvel loving family, and as the years went on and Cass was diminished by poor corporate decisions, I learned a lesson about strategy with characters in these franchises. If they are not seen outside of their lane, if people aren’t exposed to them outside of their one series no matter how fantastic and great it is, when that series is canceled and they are mishandled, there is not going to be any protection for them.

Bad comics happen all the time, bad adaptations happen all of the time, it’s the nature of the business. But for the thousands of terrible Batman stories that have been published and the hundreds of head-scratching Ninja Turtles adaptations, there have been, they continue to prevail and good things happen to those characters’ IP because there is enough material out there to keep people coming back.

[Superman/Batman (2003-2011) #5]

This is all a long introduction to get into saying that we are starting 2020 in one of the most unique and unprecedented ways we could start it as Cassandra Cain fans. There is, I’m pretty sure for the first time in the two decades of this character’s existence, an almost scattershot approach to getting as much Cass content out in a blitz as possible while aligning with the first time she has appeared in multimedia outside of video game DLC only a few hardcore fans will ever get a hold of.

But, as to be expected, not all interpretations of Cass are going to be the most helpful or similar to the character as we know her. And while I try to think strategically, it’s important to acknowledge these differences outright. Because if this is someone’s intro to her character, it can paint what they see and expect from her for the rest of their experience.

I can’t say how good or bad that’ll be, I am the fangirl who jumped on board when Jeff Loeb was writing and Ed McGuinness was drawing. My quality receptors will forever be in question to more purist fans! But I do want to start out by saying that most things are valid when it comes to starting out with a medium as ridiculous and unintelligible as comics, and we can destroy each other over the remaining 10% any day.

Let’s talk about some Casses.

Shadow of the Batgirl (2020)

If you or someone you know is at all interested in reading more Cassandra Cain and the 73 issues of her original series are intimidating, there is a simple solution that has been given to us by Sarah Kuhn and Nicole Goux, Shadow of the Batgirl.

In a very short first-reaction review I did the week this graphic novel came out, I mentioned that I was teary the entire time I read this graphic novel because it was just so darn impactful and endearing. And that continues to be the case.

This is a YA graphic novel aimed at introducing young new readers to Cassandra and a world that desperately needs her gifts to escape the shadows of her past and regrets in order to fully realize her potential for the future. And it is both heartwarming and gorgeous.

One of the things I have hit on for years when it comes to Cassandra Cain’s treatment in comics is that it has felt that for a good half of a decade if not more, what she lacked more than anything was a consistent advocate on the publishing side of things. Fans and decent sales -- which, to be clear, her meager appearances and even the majority of her solo did definitively have -- were never going to be powerful enough on their own to give her a publishing opportunity if there were not writers and artists there to provide good stories.

In 2020, more than any other year, I feel like we finally see the fruition of these things coming true. Sarah Kuhn’s blurbs and interviews have been filled with personal love and detail for the character and her importance, which only fueled how great it was when the Shadow of the Batgirl did come out and surpass almost all expectations.

This is a retelling and reinventing of Cassandra’s origin story told completely from her perspective from the beginning.

One of the lasting critiques of Cassandra’s beginnings in comics has always been her silence and lack of voice at the very start of her career. While sometimes these complaints grew to hyperbolism and would deny provably existent agency -- and to be clear, there’s still a lot of that to a concerning degree to this day -- there is truth to the criticism. Cassandra’s internal narration was not provided for almost a year after her first appearance which is an alienating tactic to use for a character meant to be latched onto by readership. Even when handled well, the thoughts behind this choice still deserve examination.

This was further complicated by later reveals that Cassandra’s difficulty with expression was in part due to her aneurotypical processing. These are not independently bad choices to make narratively, I have gone on for thousands of words before on how important I believe Cassandra’s dyslexia is, but the shakey start to giving the perspective of an aneurotypical character a definitive voice to tell her own story is right to be critiqued.

Shadow of the Batgirl completely circumvents this by giving Cass a clear voice from the start and focusing her central relationships on the power of expression and individuality while giving her plenty of characters of varying backgrounds and abilities to bounce her own understanding off of.

In some parts, this greatly enforced Kuhn’s take on making Cass’ story a teenage coming of age story that she has proven skillful at in YA novels. It also allowed her to directly correct many of the wrongs that have been long criticized about Cassandra’s original series, such as having Barbara Gordon (a physically disabled character who should and has shown more sensitivity and nuance outside of her terrible capital-M-Moment in Cass’ series) embrace and love Cassandra for her aneurotypical perspective.

[Batgirl (2000-2006) #54]

[Shadow of the Batgirl (2020)]

But, for those of us who adore and have attached to Cassandra for her disabilities and portrayals of mental illness in the past, there is also some nuance and representation that has been left on the cutting room floor for this new origin.

Namely, while Cassandra is shown to be perplexed by and struggling with books in the graphic novel, there is not the desperation and frustration that we actively see her undergoing throughout the original Batgirl (2000-2006) series. By issue #58 of a 73-issue comic book solo, Cassandra is actively struggling to read “It was,” and her insecurities toward it are used and manipulated by the villain by the end of the series.

However, Cassandra of the Shadow of the Batgirl shows some capacity to read from early on, and her struggles with reading are not the subject of conversation in the novel, so how much her limitations are a function of dyslexia and how much are a function of her childhood is left up to debate.

A debate with many questions that do require an answer since the form of her isolation and abuse by her far-less rounded character of a father in this graphic novel has been changed dramatically.

While I am giving these critiques and do think that we should be mindful and conscious of their removal for those fans who are seeking out those types of stories to read, I do not want to at all give the impression that this is a bad comic.

In fact, it’s quite the opposite. I would argue with just about anyone that this is the gold standard for Cassandra Cain stories printed in the last fifteen years, and for what I miss about the original iteration of Cass stories it can easily be exchanged for the new voice and new direction for her character this graphic novel provides for us.

Many of these critiques can be chalked up to the graphic novel being just that, a self-contained graphic novel and not a 73-issue monthly publication. And I believe its art and story are a great deal more consistent and appealing than many eras of the original series as a result.

I love its tributes, its characterizations, its purpose, and its focus above all else. There is also something just utterly charming about having Cassandra’s first well handled romance in comics come from a YA novelist who obviously understands the character and also understands what readers want in a non-toxic and adorable story.

I love the focus on Cassandra’s journey being on self-compassion, forgiveness, and the earnest belief that people can change. Including yourself, if you make the choice.

It is a good book, the best for Cassandra Cain in ages, and one I bought no less than three times already to show my support. And in just one week on my classroom bookshelf, I’ve already seen it be avidly read by five students. And those are just the ones I catch!

I would also be remiss not to mention that after complaining about this pet peeve of mine for years, that it’s happened. It took us twenty-one years but we finally did it, guys. We got a costume that Cassandra Cain got to make and design herself! And not only did she get one but she got two! An adorable (and hilarious) DIY Batgirl costume, and then ending on the high note of her official Batgirl costume to swing through the city in!

This book is precious and I hope it is the start of something new and exciting in the future. Even if that new and exciting is simply a sequel graphic novel, I will be HERE for it, and supporting it and Sarah Kuhn all the way.

Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (2020)

Oh, boy. If there was one reason I was scared to make this post, it was because of this film.

Before I get too deep into this I want to first state my position on a few of the controversies that have cropped up online with concerns to this movie and its portrayal of Cassandra Cain.

First and foremost, I have no interest in telling people how they should or shouldn’t be offended on the grounds of representation and erasure. Not being able to or simply being unwilling to forego criticisms of tropes or insensitivities perpetrated by this or any other film are completely valid experiences. I have been that person in regards to other things, and I have also been someone whose first exposure to serious issues were the stances people took with regards to protesting certain media.

Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) has faults and plays into certain erasures (one of which I’ll discuss more below) that people may be unwilling to let go of. If that is the case for people you know or see online, you should accept and support them. Listen to them.

But I do think we should also support people who love this movie for good reason. I enjoy this movie, but it’s not life-changing for me. I support it in the hopes of seeing more and better.

There are students I have who now are wearing merch and drawing fanart of the Birds of Prey, picking up the comics for the first time, because of their exposure to the hype and “girl power” of this movie. Some adults needed this movie to be some hopeful change for them and I support them too.

We’re lucky to be alive at a time where a superhero movie is so completely told from a feminine perspective, with a huge diversity of filmmakers behind it providing female voices at every level from acting to casting to scripting to directing. We’re lucky that there’s such a diversity of the cast. I want this to continue.

I hope that it continues to do better in theaters, and I know there are some murmurs of poor box office returns for it. I hope that doesn’t affect future projects. We’ll see.

All of that out of the way, we need to talk about its use of Cassandra Cain.

The joke I’ve made with my friends is that the best thing to do with this movie is to start getting in the habit of calling the young girl at the heart of this plot “Kassandra Kane” instead because the connection between this character and that of Cassandra Cain is fairly negligible. They are both young women of East Asian descent who pop up in Gotham.

I happen to like both characters, but there’s an obvious difference between one focused on as a main character and hero of her own story and one focused on as a supporting character who has plots happen to her. Neither is a bad thing, but my preferences obviously rest with the former.

It’s the fact that they were supposed to be the same character that seems to baffle most people. Myself included.

This may have been a move more suited for a character with less history and expectation on her before her big debut, like Sin who is Dinah’s adopted daughter in the comics and already connected to the Birds of Prey, or the character who clearly inspired Kassandra Kane, Ditto from the Black Canary (2015-2016) series.

[Black Canary (2015-2016) #6]

I also think that adaptation that dramatically changes Cass wouldn’t necessarily be a terrible thing either. With some rewrites and some more agency, a younger and more hardened Cass from the streets could have also worked with the movie they were trying to make -- perhaps have David Cain be Black Mask’s main enforcer rather than Victor Zsasz. Give Cassandra’s connection to the plot more character-oriented and have her liberation work in tandem with the liberation of the adult women.

The options were there, and there are critiques to be made, but the movie also knew what it wanted to be and spent its script and filming time focused on maintaining the continuity and integrity of the adult female characters who it probably could justify putting in the rated-R situations their fights got them in more than they could young Kassie Kane.

One of the no doubt unintended consequences of this has been that online discourse revolving around Cass vs. Kass has been in justifying the decisions one team has over the other in claims of racism and ableism.

Now, to be clear, my ability to speak with authority on either of those points is minimal. I’m an ally but not a voice of those communities and I want that to be as upfront as possible. I can only speak from personal experience in the realms of being a woman and being someone who lives with and has survived mental illness. And I can speak as a critic of media at large.

There are racist and ableist connotations in many things, and I am not going to deny that those conversations are relevant and need to happen in regards to Cass’ original portrayals or in this film. They do. I know even in my first viewing I wondered how it was deemed so unimportant and so uncritical to give even a moment where Kass could display dyslexia or any other form of disability when we had entire sequences dedicated to backgrounds of characters who appeared for half a second of screentime.

But I’m seeing a lot of discourse that is especially leveling claims of racism toward Cass’ original portrayals and not always looking at the voices of fans of color who debate that argument. But I also see people outright denying any critique of Cass’ original portrayals having overtones to them that are unsavory. The answer is to maybe settle for something less radical than both positions.

Like there is no ethical consumption under capitalism and we should murder the patriarchy. Just like Birds of Prey taught me.

I enjoyed the movie a lot, Kassandra Kane was a lot of fun, but it’s a 1/5 for adaptation which is bizarre for a movie that was firing on all cylinders for almost literally every other character that came on screen.

Batman and the Outsiders (2019-) #10

When it comes to consistent monthly comic publishing, the pickings for Cassandra Cain have been incredibly thin for years, arguably since the end of her own solo in 2006. But since the DC initiative “Rebirth” in 2016, an era has been entered where, with a few months here or there as the exception, Cass has been appearing in some comic each month.

That seems like a small thing to celebrate, especially when the quality of monthly content can vary so much depending on the creative team, but it has been a hugely important development that Cass has been put on a team book for over a year now.

Bryan Hill is a comic veteran at this point, publishing comics independently and from both Marvel and DC, making him quite busy, but one thing I’ve really appreciated as a Cassandra Cain fan is that he has consistently shown love and appreciation for her character.

The Cassandra that features in Batman and the Outsiders is arguably the closest the character is to her original solo series on paper, and Hill has weaved her origin story and relationship with Lady Shiva into the overarching plot of the entire series.

For me, Batman and the Outsiders has been a little slow in its story structure, and I worry about how that will affect the future of the book and whether or not it will continue as an ongoing after Hill’s planned departure, but his character focus is also my style of comics to read. And make no mistake that there is a plethora of character development and examination in every issue.

Cassandra is sharing her page time with her Outsider teammates, but this can be a good thing. Development is easier for characters who have consistent character interactions, and I have always been a firm believer that the Outsiders as a team concept works the best for Cassandra’s specific needs. This plays out and the team consisting of Bruce Wayne, Jefferson Pierce, Tatsu Yamashiro, and Duke Thomas all compliment each other and compliment Cass very well.

I do want to mention that I love this book and think it’s great reading for Batman fans, too, even with Bruce’s reduced presence. And I think the snub the Duke and Cass are receiving in other Bat titles like Peter Tomasi’s Batman: Alfred Pennyworth R.I.P. just last week is cruelly shortsighted.

But, hey, Tomasi being dismissive and backhanded toward members of the Batfamily outside of his preferred five. Guess it’s just another Wednesday.

Harley Quinn and the Birds of Prey (2020-) #1 (of 4)

After the complete circus that has been made of the Black Label Birds of Prey title meant to tie-in with the movie -- one DC thought to give to Brian Azzarello who vocally despises Harley Quinn and is divisive (to say the very least) in his treatment of high profile female characters that he does say he likes -- I wasn’t expecting DC to come through in aligning movie buzz with their comic publications. To be clear, DC has always sucked at doing this and I really didn’t think it was special to the BoP movie.

When Conner and Palmiotti got to announce their own tie-in for the movie that was supposed to be more fun and use more of the same characters, I was intrigued but also a little concerned about how this team would handle it. I can like or dislike their work depending on the project.

But my god, were they absolutely on when it came to this first issue of their four-issue miniseries.

I didn’t think I’d be recommending fans go pick up the first issue of the Harley Quinn and the Birds of Prey miniseries, but I am absolutely doing that for any fans of the movie who, like me, enjoyed it but wished a better Cassandra Cain adaptation had been woven into the plot.

Amanda Conner’s history with the character of Cass and with the Birds of Prey, in general, is actually interesting. While she is regarded for her art and her storytelling now, when she first started at DC it was art only in the credits, but those credits included a BoP arc and several fun covers for the latter half of Cassandra’s Batgirl (2000-2006). When she later had the opportunity to write comics along with doing their art, she even had Cass (albeit very chattily) feature in a rare team-up with Power Girl and Wonder Woman in the Wonder Woman (2006-2011) #600 special.

And, of course, the husband and wife team have become industry heavy hitters thanks to their smash hits with multiple Harley Quinn solo series.

This is a fun and cartoonishly violent miniseries that plays to their styles properly, but the characterizations in the first issue struck me as very true and very calculated. Cassandra Cain does not speak in this entry, but that allows Conner to stretch her artistic muscles in making Cass’ actions and expressions give a lot of character to her role. Which already shows more restraint and understanding for the character than many others have with Cass -- including Conner’s freshman efforts at writing Cass herself.

Cass isn’t alone in the little joys of this comic. There are overt references to Conner and Palmiotti’s Harley Quinn miniseries and solos that place this non-mainstream comic in a more nebulous space than the Black Label imprint would initially make you think, and the strong characters feel as though they walked off of the pages of their current mainstream efforts. All of which I greatly appreciate.

Not to mention on the front of queer representation, while Harley is a mess, I’m glad that I can unabashedly relate to her as a gay mess without obfuscation this time.

If there’s any comic that new fans brought on by the Birds of Prey movie are likely to pick up themselves, it’ll probably be this one. Which is a great thing because it seems like an honest effort with strong roots in the original comic source material for everyone -- including Cass this time.

Shame I can’t recommend it to my middle school students who are loving the movie. Though, I suppose, if they are watching a rated-R movie they’re probably sneaking to Black Label comics too. Little scamps.

DCeased: Unkillables (2020) #1 (of 3)

I cannot believe the wholesome Batfamily content I’ve craved for a decade needs the zombie apocalypse to happen.

While I read DCeased last year and didn’t hate it in the vein that I thought I was going to due to it being a zombie apocalypse AU in a superhero universe that seemed to keenly pull from the surprising successes of Marvel’s efforts, I never imagined that it would join the ranks as continued Cassandra Cain content vehicles.

It must be the sign of a good decade, right? Bats are lucky, indeed.

While DCeased proper dealt with the aftermath of the Anti-Life Equation that was Totally Not a Zombie Virus as they kept telling us over and over again, it was pretty closely tied to the most main of main DC heroes and heroines and their families as they attempted to survive and escape the hordes. We didn’t see many other fan-favorite but not quite A-tier heroes’ efforts until the tie-in comics began coming out.

I, as a Booster Gold, Blue Beetle, and Mister Miracle/Big Barda fan adored A Good Day to Die, but I never saw DCeased: Unkillables coming. And even when it was announced I said to my dear friends “This will either be very good or very bad.”

I need to put more faith into Tom Taylor, he really hasn’t let me down just yet.

In Unkillables, we follow the days after the Anti-Life Equation is released on Earth now through the eyes of two teams -- one helmed by Deathstroke, whose unique physiology allows him to recover from infection and is now joining other supervillains in a doomsday cult led by Vandal Savage; one helmed by Jason Todd, whose unique position as the family rebel has apparently left him out of the loop enough to not die with Bruce, Dick, and Tim in the series proper, but not so out of the loop that he can’t access the cave and the heart monitors Bruce creepily keeps on track of all their other family and friends, letting him reunite with his estranged sister Cassandra and Jim Gordon. Who is just as confused as you are that Batman kept a heart monitor tracker on him without asking. Also, Ace the Bathound and I love it.

This is the first of three issues, but it fits a lot of character work and relationships into those pages, which if you’re paying attention, is the sort of writing that seems to be most helpful with Cassandra Cain's appearances.

I am hoping that everything continues to work well for this team, even knowing that we are going to have bloodshed and death along the way, but I think that the setting of making the last stand in an orphanage protecting children is the exact kind of thing these three characters would be united to do together in the zombie apocalypse.

This is a fun, albeit bloody and morbid, comic that is worth picking up for anyone who misses Cassandra being Batgirl as much as I do.

Also wow that family photo with Cass alongside her brothers and father. It took us this long to finally get one, huh.

Worth it. Suck it, Tomasi.

I have a lot of love for Cassandra, and a lot of opinions as well. Obviously! But what I love more than anything is to enjoy good stories with other people, and I’m hopeful and joyful that there seems to be more and more of those things intersecting on the horizon.

If you’ve enjoyed my take on any of this, I hope I can continue to point you toward content in the future. And even if not, if you want to share your takes with me, I hope I can provide some good conversation there, too!

Most of all I hope we all have something wonderful we can look forward to.

[Shadow of the Batgirl]

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pumpkinlass · 4 years

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This might be a stupid question but if you have adhd how did you manage to stick with drawing so long that you got so good?

No stupid questions! It’s an Interesting question with a vaguely interesting answer? I wanted to just message you back privately, but the message was SUPER long so I’m just going to post it-- I hope you don’t mind!!

Warning. Long Ramblings below

TLDR: I needed to do well in school because otherwise I would be a ‘failure’ and the only way I could focus was by doodling, so by doodling all my life and just copying styles I saw online as I saw them ‘oh neat, lets do my eyes like that’ I have come to be able to draw ‘good’ (-ish) I haven't actively practiced at drawing the way that people practice other hobby skills like sewing or painting or stuff like that. I just... draw ! And I guess now other people like how I draw too

Okay! So right off the bat!

1. For me, ADHD manifests in a lot of ways. I have difficulty prioritizing tasks, I’m incredibly forgetful, I lose focus on conversations easily, I have intense difficulty regulating my emotions, I have trouble beginning tasks and trouble ending them. (I won’t start drawing some days until 11pm because I just... can’t bring myself to start. but then I get into it and I won’t be able to put down the pen until like 3 or 4 in the morning.) I spend entire chunks of the day straight up daydreaming. 90% of the time I am exhausted and frustrated even though I’ve done nothing :/

There’s lots of things in my life I didn’t ‘stick’ with, painting, piano, guitar, animation, etc. etc. but doodling has always been present and if you doodle enough and just copy things you see eventually you just... draw Idk how to explain it LOL.

2. I don’t consider myself good at drawing lol! Like hmmm how do I say this.

I just have certain things I like to draw and that I’ve become ... consistent at. Specifically drawing characters and bright colors. When I see my own art ... I just see what’s lacking. I don’t like drawing scenes, or backgrounds or complex things or interesting poses or...you know doing anything mmm you know ‘art-like’ stuff that like other artists I see do!! I hate shading, I struggle with coloring inside the lines and I hate making line-art.

Because [ADHD section now I guess lol]

3. I was, and still am, a very very fidgety person that had a very hard time staying focused on things or not zoning out. I was also though aware from an early age that I needed to do well in school. (blah blah strict parents w/e) And the only way I found that I could stay focused on anything and retain information, was by drawing.

From 6th grade (honors math because someone that that was a good idea LMAO) to 9th grade

All the way up to undergrad:

This was the only way I was able to get through school lmao.

If I’m doodling or moving my hand (at places where I can’t doodle I’ll do other things like wrap a hair-tie around my fingers in knots for hours or fold paper... crumple paper. tape my fingers together... ) I’m able to focus on what I need to be doing. Like listening or taking notes in honors classes --> undergrad --> grad school --> work meetings + professional development.

It’s a way for me to focus.

I literally cannot stress this enough: For 20 years I’ve just drawn characters facing forward or sideways again and again and again lol.

I’ve been actually feeling very nervous and self-conscious about posting my art because I just seem to lack the ability to get in there and make it ... ‘presentable’.

My drawings are filled with fuzzy shaky lines because I don’t like going back and making it ““clean”“ I don’t have the attention span for it (and am SUPER jealous of all those amazing artists out there with clean vectors and sharp beautiful lines and shading) My work is also filled with color bleeds because I also struggle with going back and doing that as well.

And it’s the reason that I’ve stayed away from posting my art online for so long because I can never seem to finish anything!

90% of my “art” is just this. Unfinished sketches and doodles. I struggle to finish anything lol.

and if I do color it’s lazy like this:

And it used to be that if DID attempt backgrounds (which was very rarely.) they looked like this:

I’d get bored halfway through and leave. I’d say most of my ‘’’art’’’ art is just me getting bored and leaving.

But like the things that I do keep ? The things that I’ve always done is just draw characters again and again and again:

From 2005

To 2016

And recently I’ve just found that people like to see this kind of stuff as much as I like to make it!

That is to say, I don’t see this all as “sticking to drawing” it’s not... really a conscious decision of mine. I can’t be a 100% sure, but it seems that you consider drawing like an active process that requires commitment and attention. And you’re of course right in that, but for me, I am a flighty non-committal person, and drawing is just a hobby of mine. And over time, it just happened that I got ‘better’ at it

I mean, lol, right now! I’ve spent the last 2 hours trying to answer this and ONCE AGAIN failing to start the commission on my to-do list :/

I hope some of these ramblings made sense.

#jfc I hope any of this makes sense #this was so difficult to verbalize lol #long post #pumpkin asks #REALLY long post

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retro-rudy · 4 years

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Logic- No Pressure Album Review

In summation of Logic's career, the foremost qualities that can’t go unnoticed is the dedication, respect and admiration the man has always had for the art of hip-hop. From the beginning, dating back to his Young Sinatra mix-tape series, in an era where trap beats were overtaking hip-hop, Logic arrived as a breath of fresh air with his conscious driven lyrics and entertaining flow, fueled by the boom-bap style he enjoyed from earlier influences such as Wu-Tang Clan, A Tribe Called Quest, and Mos Def. Logic lived up to the hype and expectations by delivering a successful debut album and painting a promising future, in which, considering how the industry measures success, Logic went onto surpass by reaching the heights of mainstream play and various award nominations with his next 2 studio albums. Amid the commercial success came the broader spotlight, the very one that emphasized his every move, and drew fluctuated criticism to an all-time high for the Maryland emcee. The challenges for Logic however were not the subjective opinions people had towards his music, but rather stemmed from the more personal jokes, memes, and the non-music related opinions that seemed to overshadow the music he was creating for audiences. In 2019, these unfortunate circumstances led Logic to step away from music and social media for some time with no public explanation to the reasoning of his hiatus. That was until the ever so unpredictable 2020 saw Logic emerge with a staggering album announcement accompanied by an unexpected retirement announcement.

Logic, returned in 2020 as many anticipated, with his 7th and final studio album, No Pressure. The joint announcement of album date and retirement came on July 16th, just one week before the set album release date. While the announcement was abrupt and left many with lingering questions, the 1 week wait would eventually lead fans to the clear reasoning of his decision through No Pressure’s foundation of honest and convincing lyrics.

Right out of the gates, Logic sets the tone and premise of the direction he will take the album on the opening track, No Pressure Intro. Logic applies audio from the famous Orson Wells “The Hitchhiker” introduction, which Logic chops and edits perfectly to bring us into the album. Within the edits, Logic cites No I.D and The Incredible True Story to give the intro a fun twist that adds the thematic touch many have grown accustomed to in Logic’s discography. The fundamentally ear-hitting boom-bap beat produced by NO I.D could not have been curated any better for Logic on the opener. Logic and the instrumental go hand in hand as he delivers bar after bar for over a minute and a half before reaching an abrupt interruption that catapults you into the next track. “B*tch I’m too alive, like twins in a womb, come hither, consume” and “But it cost a fee to be the boss it cost to be, over possessions like an apostrophe.” are some of the more standout bars on this intro.

On No Pressure, Logic’s overall mood comes off positive, natural, motivated and unforced which benefits each song on this record in its own way. On songs such as Hit My Line, Celebration, and Amen, Logic’s unhinged and unpressed mind state injects everlasting life and validation to the long peace, love and positivity advocate. Logic’s comfort with his current-self shines through on Hit My Line with a confident, worry-free chorus and candid verses as he persuasively calls on god for a fixing of humanity. Logic’s positive drive has been a stapled message within his raps since the beginning of his career and the messaged remains well intact on Hit My Line and the entirety of this project. The confidence he shows when he says, “They say they don’t want messages in rap, it ruins the art. Well here I am people, yeah, now tear me apart.” further endorses his attempt of leaving it all out for this record with no regrets. Even on the track, Celebration, where Logic taps into his braggadocio side of rap to pen out the worry-free mindset he now has and how there is nothing for him to prove to anyone, you can hear the freeing mentality he has as he spits:

“It’s been a minute now; my style is feeling infinite now. Used to people pulling me down, it ain’t shit to me now. Don’t let it get to me now: threw out my phone, they can’t get to me now.”

These tracks dwell on a cheerful and flamboyant tempo that Logic ceases throughout the entirety of the tracks. The same can be said for songs like Dadbod, Perfect, and 5 Hooks, that show versatility in terms of beat choices and the ability of Logic to naturally execute each varying flow that comes off as effortlessly in this stage of his career.

Meshed in with the collection of the more upbeat and elated-expressive tracks, Logic sprinkles in tracks built off well executed hip-hop samples that serve up a heavier dose of conscious articulated bars. Dating back to the Young Sinatra mix-tapes, Logic has never been shy to wear his influences on his sleeve, and tracks like GP4 and Man i is prove this to the be the case in present day. GP4, a nostalgic tie-in with Logic’s Growing Pains’ song collection, which we last heard on Under Pressure, contains a sample constructed from OutKasts’ Elevators song from ATLiens. Given the track record of various and well-respected hip-hop samples Logic has placed on each of the Growing Pains’ tracks, this one fits cohesively with the bunch. Much like the previous Growing Pains’, Logic leans on his story telling to paint witty and mental pictures of a variety of thoughts floating in his mind. From adolescent memories, to admitting his once determination of becoming the greatest rapper alive now being inessential, Logic goes onto acknowledge how the greatest rapper alive might not even be rapping and is instead stacking groceries at an ordinary 9 to 5 with no care in the world, resembling much how Logic feels at this point in his career. On Man i is, Logic’s maturity and growth flourishes among the inspired instrumental created out of an iconic mashup consisting of OutKasts’ SpottieOttieDopaliscious, Tarika Blues’ Dreamflower, DJ Screw and Pimp C. Logic self-reflects as he looks back on where he came from and what he endured, to which through it all has led him to this point in life where he can confidently say he is sincerely proud of the man he has become. In hip-hop it’s made well-aware that high expectations are to be met when paying homage to classics and Logic absolutely fulfills the task on this one in a form that without a doubt places Man i is among the most prominent tracks within his discography. Open Mic\\Aquarius III keeps Logic on the lyrical prowess and serves as a bridge for fans to connect with the bar for bar artillery the emcee has long had. The beat switch that takes place in this track is superb with the pure hip-hop cypher sound of Open Mic interestingly transitioning into the more jazzy and mellow Aquarius III. The high-volume of bars continues immediately on the following track, Soul Food II. The deserving sequel to one of Logic’s held in high regards track off his debut album Under Pressure. Logic retains the format of spitting a series of bars as he did in the original Soul Food. It’s warming and evident to hear the growth in both, his mentality as a human and abilities of his craft as an artist when you hear both songs in sequential order. In Soul Food II, mentally, Logic remains as humble and passionate as ever while sonically the tone and delivery of his raps resonate with the listener enough to have them capture and break down his every word. This along with the metaphors within this song is what prompts Soul Food II to standout on its own and give its predecessor a run for its money, and dare I say, maybe even edge out the original.

On the last leg of the album is where I find Logic taking the listener towards the conclusion of the album on a pure, passion driven energy specifically due to the openness of Dark Place, and the spiritually motivating Heard Em Say. Dark Place is the first of its kind for the emcee as it is by far the most personal track Logic has ever released. While Logic has been open about personal situations before, it has never been to the degree and sentiment he lets out on the track. What was meant to remain an unreleased and personal track shares a transparent view of his feelings regarding the real toll the amount of negativity and criticism took on his mental state.

“Writin’ rhymes was easy before the fame. Now I’m constantly overthinkin’ every line, it’s a shame. Rap used to fill me with joy, now it’s nothin’ but pain. I’m stuck in the game, tryna get back from where I came.”

The entire song contains some of Logic’s most honest and heart-breaking lyrics that transport you directly to the most difficult year he experienced as a mainstream artist. “I’d love to end this on some positive shit. Hit you with punchlines instead of some derogative shit, but it’s okay to be sad sometimes and tired of shit.. I guess.” Logic becomes as relatable to the listener as ever with his sincerity on here. And while the song might show vulnerability, it’s okay. In the end the fan and artist label are irrelevant compared to the human label we all fall under. Another evident example of the earnest connection between Logic and his Rattpack. Fittingly so, the best in my opinion is saved for last. Heard Em Say easily ranks in the top 5 of Logic's entire released discography for me. From self-producing the song, to writing one of his most heartfelt verses, the song sums up as one of Logic’s most range defining cuts from an artist standpoint. The 3rd verse on Heard Em Say is one of Logic’s best verses from his discography, and impressively so isn’t due to the depth of lyricism, but due to Logic’s infinite passion heard throughout the verse. Logic grabs you with every word and instills raw emotion and inspiration with a hopeful send off in quintessential fashion Logic has long been known for.

After Confessions of a Dangerous Mind failed to reach favorable appreciation within hip-hop enthusiasts, and his fan base respectively; the project left many wondering if perhaps Logic’s better days were behind him. With unfavorable reviews and criticism weighing heavily on the emcee, Logic spent the better part of 2019 and 2020 writing raps vigorously on his Louis Vuitton rhyme book as he mentions on the freeing Amen. Logic stated in an interview with Nick Huff Barili of Hard Knock TV, that No Pressure essentially came to fruition out of his essential love for hip-hop no longer being intact, before coming to the conclusion of ending his career and delivering a final project in the form of which he came into the game with, a project he would give his every ounce of love for hip-hop to, to showcase pure hip-hop built on a foundation of bars and verses made up of the emcee’s best abilities. With executive production from No I.D, No Pressure achieves this and sees Logic set the record straight in his place among hip-hop. In retrospect, while the time apart might have been difficult, I believe both Logic and fans of Logic in the long run reached a perfect ending of a prominent and inspiring career. No Pressure serves as a celebrated accumulation and reflection of the inspiring emcees’ hip-hop career, the final chapter that gives the fan closure and comprehension for his farewell. Logic is now free of pressure and has found happiness by obtaining the greatest blessing in life, family. Thank you for delivering us this classic, and the best of wishes on your future endeavor Bobby. Final rating: 10

#Logic NoPressure hip-hop music review journalism Rattpack YoungSinatra Rap

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lovemesomesurveys · 4 years

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The last time you were in the fridge, what were you looking for? Shredded cheese.

Do you like clowns? Just Pennywise.

Have you answered all of these questions honestly so far? Uh, we were just two questions in and they were simple questions, no need to lie about what I got out of my fridge and whether I like clowns lol.

What's the third text in your inbox? Doesn’t work that way.

Are you listening to anything at the moment? An ASMR video.

Do you twitch when your falling asleep? >> Yeah, sometimes. Or I have that sudden falling feeling and jerk awake. <<< Ugh, same. I hate that.

Are your dishes in the dishwasher clean or dirty? Clean.

Are you at home or with friends more often? I’m always at home, even before the quarantine/lockdown stuff began. For the past few years, actually.

When is the last time you were on a bicycle? Never.

What have you eaten today? So far just ramen.

Would you date someone 15 years older than you? I don’t think so.

Do you own a strapless bra? Yeah.

Does the person you like know it? I don’t like anyone in that way.

Did anything brighten up your day today? It’s only 5 in the morning, not a whole lot as happening. I don’t see much happening later on either, though.

How are you feeling at this exact moment? Tired.

Are you someone who worries too often? Yepppp.

If you could date somebody who would it be? No one right now.

Do you ever wonder how other people see you? Sometimes, but it scares me. I’d really rather not know.

What is one good thing you're known for? I don’t know.

How about one bad thing? I don’t know.

Are you taller than most? >> Most children, yeah. LOL <<< Ha, same.

When was the last time you sang an ENTIRE song? It’s been a few days since I’ve listened to music.

Are you the type of person who likes to be out or home? I like to be at home, which like I said is where I spend all my time.

What time do you normally go to bed? Between 7 and 8AM. :X

What is one thing that is currently bothering you? The usual things.

What did you do today? So far just ate ramen, watched some YouTube videos, went on Tumblr, did surveys, played some Animal Crossing, and listened to ASMR videos.

Do you consider yourself to be attractive? Nope.

What was the last thing that you drank? Starbucks Doubleshot energy drink.

Is anything annoying you now? Yes.

Has anyone ever said i love you to you and not meant it? I’m sure. Some people throw those words around too easily.

Do you regret going out with the last person you did? No.

Do you realize it when you curse? Yeah. I don’t curse often, so when I do it really stands out.

When was the last time you showered? Yesterday.

Who did you last talk to in person? My brother.

Do you ever have days where you just don't do anything? I don’t do much day to day, but yes there’s days where I’m really having a hard time or don’t feel and I don’t feel up to doing anything besides lie down, sleep, and stare at the TV.

Have you ever been extremely tired but refused to go to sleep? Yes. I do that often for some reason.

What is your favorite episode of True Life, if you have one at all? I’ve seen some episodes of that here and there, but I can’t think of any particular episode at the moment. I know there’s news episodes coming out about people’s experience in quarantine.

Have you ever experienced something paranormal? No.

What's the longest amount of time you've been stuck in traffic? A couple hours. I don’t even like spending a few minutes being stuck in bumper to bumper traffic.

Best field trip experience? I loved all the field trips as a kid.

Have you ever been to New York City? No, but I’ve always wanted to go.

If so, is it all its cracked up to be?

What is the most amount of money you've spent on a meal before? Hmm. Probably like $50. It was a nice, pricey restaurant.

What museums have you visited, if any? Several.

Have you ever had a group project and one of your partners bailed on you? Yes. I hated group projects, they added way more stress.

What's your worst traveling experience? The drive to and from Idaho to California back in 2010. We went to Idaho to see my grandpa who was very sick and his wife told us he didn’t have much time left, so my parents, brother, and I made the 12+ drive there. We left at night and it was during the wintertime, so we drove through snowy, dangerous conditions, something we’re not used to because it doesn’t snow where we live. The trip back home was worse because we were all very emotional and tired and our patience was real thin. It was a rough trip back home. At one point during the night we had to find a hotel because the roads were too slippery and dangerous to drive on from the snow and because a lot of people had to do the same, it was hard finding somewhere. We fortunately got a one bed room and made it work, with some of us sleeping on the floor. Something that I don’t want to get into happened that night that made me extremely angry and upset to the point I was literally shaking and that is not normal for me.

Sims 1, 2, or 3? Why? Sims 3 out of those options, but Sims 4 over all of ‘em.

Have you ever dealt with noisy neighbors or roommates? How did that go? Yeah, we’ve had a few noisy neighbors over the years. The current neighbors we have we had an issue with their dogs barking excessively. They left them outside all day and they just barked all the time. We eventually had to say something and thankfully we got things sorted out.

Who was (or is) the teacher that gave you the hardest time in school? I had 2 horrible math teachers in community college, but otherwise I never had any issues with my teachers.

Best muffin you've ever had? I love banana muffins (no nut), lemon poppyseed, and blueberry muffins. Have you ever taken a woodshop class? For an elective in middle school.

If so, was it required? No, it was an elective. <<<

How much time do you spend on Facebook, if you have one? I go on there for a few minutes at at a time a few times a day.

What area of math are you best at? Worst? I was always horrible at math.

How do you feel when you meet someone with the same music taste as you? It’s cool to bond over shared interests. @gic-ga and I just recently obsessed over Linkin Park together haha.

What is the strangest thing you've ever seen outside of your house? A freakin’ bat flying around one night. That’s most definitely not a common sighting here. I had never seen or heard of any such sighting prior to that. It was crazy.

Do you believe in luck? Why or why not? No.

How often do you "half-ass" things (put little effort in)? These past few years I haven’t put much ass at all into things. :/

Do you ever feel self-conscious when you eat around other people? Yes.

Has a teacher ever made you hate yourself/your work? Those 2 awful math professors I mentioned before made me feel even worse about not understanding the material.

How reliable is your internet connection? Very. There’s very rarely an issue.

Have you ever missed a meeting/event that was required/necessary? No.

What's something that makes you incredibly nervous? Uh, a lot of things. That’s how I am.

What's the latest you've ever stayed up to finish homework/a project? Many late nights or early mornings in college.

If you don't have glasses, how would you feel if you had to get them?

If you do have glasses, how would you feel if you didn't need them anymore? I honestly like my glasses. I’ve had to wear them since I was 9, they’re apart of me. I look and feel weird without ‘em.

How many vegetarians do you know? I’m not sure.

Have you ever considered going to art school? No. I have no artistic talents or abilities. I never had the interest in trying just a class either, like with a drawing class or something, so definitely not an art school, a school devoted to the arts.

Is there anyone in your life who consistently angers you? Myself.

How quickly can you write an essay? For me I struggled with getting started, but once I did I’d get in my groove.

Have you ever had problems falling asleep in class? No.

Have you ever been on the barrier or front row at a concert? No. I always get the nosebleeds seats cause that’s where the handicap seating tends to be. They’re cheaper up there; though, so hey.

If you have a job, who is your least favorite coworker/manager?

Favorite episode of Spongebob? I don’t have a favorite. I’ve seen episodes cause my younger brother and cousins watched it all the time, but I was never really into it myself.

Do you have any silly/odd emotional connections to anything/anyone? To inanimate objects cause of memories attached to them. Like, I have a hard time getting rid of anything.

Are your parents supportive of you? Yes.

How often do you take the train to go places? Never.

Do you play with your phone in awkward situations? Ha, yeah.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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fountainpenguin · 4 years

Text

2019 In Review

And so ends an exciting decade!

My main resolution in 2019 was to support more artists through commissions. I was able to reach out to several and receive some lovely art as a result. In a few years when I have an actual consistent income, I hope to commission even more.

I also fell into a more comfortable rhythm with my own art skills this year, trying to improve my sketching abilities, drawing speed, and not push myself to art when it’s difficult to find the motivation. At the beginning of this decade, my goal was to draw character profile art and story preview/cover images I could be proud of. Drawing backgrounds with Illustrator (or any digital art program) is still not on my to-do list for 2020, and I’m going to continue improving my anatomy and drawing speed this year.

In 2020, I intend to focus more on writing. I want to find new stories and leave more favorites and comments. I mostly read ‘fics for fandoms I’m not in, so I’m usually shy about leaving comments lest the author think I know anything about the characters beyond what they’ve written. This next year, I want to be more proactive in encouraging other writers by complimenting the things I enjoyed about their work, whether or not I’m actually in that fandom.

I also want to put my own writing out there more. I’ve been very self-conscious of promoting my own work, concerned I may come off as boasting or annoying, but I’ve since outgrown that fear. I’m going to make a habit of reblogging my ‘fic update announcements multiple times for multiple time zones and make ‘fic links as accessible as I can. At the end of each month, I’ll post a recap of fandom-related highlights from my blog so y’all can get a heads up if you missed something that interests you.

I’ve given more consideration to my update schedule and have confirmed that I don’t want to post ‘fic updates closer together than once every two weeks. Considering the length of the pieces I write, this is what works best for me (and probably you guys too). Updates will be posted either Tuesdays or Wednesdays depending on my schedule that week; sometimes I need more time to polish a piece, and pushing myself to post Tuesdays because “That’s my only chance until next week” didn’t work for me.

The upcoming FOP sideblog has helped MASSIVELY with my organization, and I hope you all find it useful too. Links to the sideblog ‘Fic Summaries and ‘Fic Chronology pages can be found in the header of my main blog and will be ready to go once the sideblog has its official release. Although it’s taken a lot of work, I’m extremely proud of the blog and how it’s helped me organize my notes as a writer. I might make private sideblogs to help with some of my original works in the future too. Tumblr is the perfect platform for what I like to use it for.

I had some great times with friends this year, from receiving wonderful asks and reviews to enjoying fellow writers’ works to collabing on big projects. I’m glad to have met others who share my interests and look forward to the future.

In 2020, I want to publish some of the Mario stories I’m working on. I’ve been building my worldbuilding for the Marioverse for the last two years and I’m eager to share it soon. Fairly OddParents is the fandom I like to work in when I want to challenge my writing and worldbuilding skills, and I’m hoping Mario can challenge my character fleshing skills more and encourage me to write fluffier, shorter pieces. I’d like to have more range in my writing since I feel inexperienced when it comes to short and cutesy things.

Finally, I really crave more engagement with you, my followers. I didn’t engage as much as I would have liked this year (largely because I closed my ask box for several months), so I am going to do all I can on my end to be more approachable and converse proactively with others. And, hopefully I’ll find the courage to reach out and make some more fandom friends.

Thanks for reading, see y’all next decade!

#New Year #Resolutions #writing goals #99% true as far as we remember #FAIRIES!#Mushrooms and more #ridwriting

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coolchaitanyasblogblr-blog · 4 years

Text

#Blog 2 Rock

BY CHAITANYA PRABHU(2D DESIGN)

ASSIGNMENT 1:self portrait

The first assignment was to do a self-portrait.This assignment was based on previous abilities and also expressing yourself. This artwork was a chance for me to introduce myself and the type of person I am. Development of this assignment step 1 Every amazing piece of artwork begins with a good plan.I first started working on a plan through a web diagram

STEP2

Once the plan was all done I started working on the plan of selecting a picture.

what in realized was that I am a very camera conscious person in general, so I tend not to have many pictures of myself.so I decided to take selfies, I chose this particular picture of as it tends to create a sense of curiosity to any person whether I was happy or sad in the picture.

STEP3

I decided to sketch myself using the computer screen using my previous sketching abilities, and I was very much happy that I could successfully do that.

step4

I started working on the hair, I wanted to portray my characteristics so I decided to make my hair look colourful by using vibrant colours such as yellow, green and blue because they portray happiness and shows my love towards these colours.

step5

I worked on the face I have made use of brown paper using the mosaic technique by sticking out small pieces all together

step6

for the background, I decided to sketch London bridge as it makes me nostalgic when I visit London bridge as it takes me back into time when I was about 6years when I visited with my whole family

step7

I have made use of torn out wallpaper as it portrays that I sometimes tend to become very angry in some situations.

step8

The final outcome of this painting

assignment 2 : week 1

aims and objectives of 2d design

Name: Chaitanya Prabhu

submission date 23/9/19

2-D Designing

As a design student my intention to study product designing (bsc) comes for the fact that this course allows me to conceptualize, design, think out of the box

this is because product design is purely based on avoiding errors and minimizing the negative consequences on any tangible product.

just like any strong building requires a strong foundation so therefore in my foundation year I would be seeking to develop some of these skills that include:

· Analytical and problem-solving skills.

· Technical details

· Creativity and innovative thinking.

· Attention to details.

· Awareness of issues and problems

· communication skills, both verbal and written

The reason why I chose product designing over any other course it is purely based human-centred design approach. As a responsible citizen, I would love to actively and wholeheartedly contribute to the disadvantaged society by making products.

As a kick start to my journey in Brunel I have planned to set out some long term and short term goals. However, my short term goals vary depending on the subject and feedback from all my teachers. Perhaps some of my long term goals include:

· Improving time management skills

· utilising all of the tutorial contribution so that I become more efficient at my work

· Consistency of my work so that I don’t lose interest at any point of my course

· Improving my research skills for my classwork and my assignments

What I would be expecting from Brunel university is to guide me and support me throughout my journey.I n order to do so, I would be expecting relevant feedback on how I can improve my grades and level of productivity.A\ also providing me with relevant resource(various books) that would help me in this course.

assignment 3:extra work

#brown girl

this self-portrait is very close to my heart as it tells a story of my identity and very I belong from and it makes me feel very proud of skin colour that io should be never ashamed of

for this specific piece, I have made use of brown paper which was that of my shopping bag and I have used about 3 shoe polish as they as it is one of the most non-conventional idea to use.

trial and error methods that lead to a beautiful piece of work.

#super women

this painting not just represent myself but also all the ladies on planet earth that are superheroes in real life, because ladies have that tendency of conquering the world from there idea and actions.it is a tribute to all hardworking ladies, especially the once who have made sacrifices there whole life for their family.

#i hate coffee

a fact about me and my close friends and family know that I hate coffee, which is probably the worst thing I have ever said .but that does not stop me from using that in my art

#masked?

sometimes I wonder why is external beauty so important and why are we always compared to people that we can never look like or be like .but i believe internal beauty is the one that should decide how a person is not external.

so I decided to use thick acrylic paint on my face so that my external identity through the picture can be masked.

Assignment (week2)

Chaitanya prabhu

1920947

1. enclosed space

For an enclosed space I went to the kitchen right next to my room thinking of sitting there for about 3 to 4 minutes. The kitchen is the smallest space in our accommodation it was Adifferent experience on its own ,because our kitchen tends to be crowded most of the time with fusion of different aromas in the surrounding however I chose to go a little early to be the only one in the kitchen .The first minute I was all fine as I was looking at all the details that I have never noticed in the kitchen .The second minute something that annoyed me the most that someone earlier on the day had kept the tap open ,so every second a drop of water was wasted making a distinct annoying sound that caught my attention however I went near the tap and shut it close properly ,as me saving water was more important than just sitting in the enclosed space .However I felt much better doing this ,the 3rdminute I noticed that a lot of food has been wasted in our kitchen ,my observation skills had increased during this task even though I had never realized it even If I came to the kitchen every day.

2.crowded place

For a crowded place I thought of going to the bus at a peak time the bus from Brunel to uxbridge on Friday at 1 pm tends to be the most crowded as there can be chances of having no place to even sit. I missed the first bus because it was way too crowded ,after 10 minutes the second bus came in I finally got an opportunity to get in ,it was quite suffocating in the bus with no place to move which made me more anxious and uncomfortable .With less space to breath .The 3rdminute we moved to the next station which was uxbridge high school more number of kids were let into the bus which made the surrounding completely change as as kids were enthusiastic and discussing about their plans on their weekend in a loud manner .The 4thminute my body was used to the surrounding the 5thminute my bus stop was here.

3.open space

I visited the open area next to my accommodation, a place that I usually go on a walk to. Firstly I enjoyed the greenery for the first minute because greenery is something that I admire the most and gets a deep smile on my face .second minute my eyes was noticing the flow of the pinn river in Brunel ,enjoying the sound of flowing river and eventually I realized that the breeze was a lot more intense than before because suddenly ,I realized that it started drizzling so I head back to my room and could not complete all 4 minutes ,it made me realize that life is very uncertain for everyone, it does not go according to plans.

week 3:positive and negative space

to start this assignment i started with a plan

step 2.according to the teachers brief the keywords highlighted was the organic and geometric shape I personally had no idea what was organic and geometric shape investigated the difference between organic and geometric shapes what

Whatis the organic shape?

shapes that have a natural look and a flowing curving appearance and can be found on leaves, plants and animals organic shapes are associated with things from the natural world. what is geometric shape?

geometric shapes have clear edges achieved by using tools to create them for example circles, rectangles, squares, triangles and so on

organic vs geometric shapes

exploring organic shapes in everyday life

product designers make use of organic shapes while designing products

the suitcase with which i had shifted to uk had also made use of organic shape and i had not known that until i carried on this research

this is a picture of my tissue box that makes use of organic shape which is quite attractive

artist that make use of geometric shapes

1.paul Klee (the red balloon )

paul Klee was born in Switzerland .paul influenced a range of artistic movements such as cubism and expressionism.

one of his most famous work involves the red balloon it makes use of geometric shapes .this artwork represents floating geometric shape while portraying cityscape .the colour illustrate the consecutive gesture of a figure in motion for this specific painting he has made use of thinned flowing paint.

2.Henri Matisse (icarus)

Henri Matisse was a French artist, he used a stencil technique known as pochoir. This picture portrays a person in nighttime sky .it is an artwork that makes use of organic shapes.

my composition of geometric art using geometric shape

SUMMARY OF MY RESEARCH

STEP 3.Once i understood the difference between organic and geometric shape i decided to look at the organic form in nature and then i selected 1 organic for that had a maximum number of organic shapes within.

i sketched 30 organic forms that i could see within the leaf

development of the organic shape composition

step 1

merging geometric shapes that were close to each other

step 2

identifying the best composition through thumbnails

i selected composition number 8 as it was the most balances composition of all

the final outcomeof :

1.organic

2.geometric

3.combined

Importance of balance in negative and positive space

Balance

Balance is one of the basic principles of design and refers to how well all the elements are balanced with each other. balance is likely to be the most important aspect of negative and positive space and making thumbnail allows to explore the most balanced composition.

assignment 6

we had to brake china bowl or glass into pieces.i have a crazy compilation of pictures on how i broke the china plate into several pieces.

I traced the pieces onto thin cardboard to make templates so I use it for my further compositions as templates

step 3

mixing colours

In order to get a range of values I had to mix colours . to change the intensity of black and white in order to get a wide range of greys so in order understand mixing colour we had to use the magazine to create a value chart that would guide us throughout the assignment

the final outcome

COMPOSITION 1

COMPOSITION 2

COMPOSITION 3

COMPOSITION 4

ASSIGNMENT 7:

USING ADOBE PHOTOSHOP TO CREAT PATTERN

COMPOSITION 1

composition 2

FOR WEEK 7: we had to visit the design museum

Chaitanya Prabhu (1920947)

SUBMISSION DATE:4thNovember 2019

REPORT

My visit to the design museum was an overall amazing experience, was definitely worth all the time I spent in the museum. something that I noticed and I still reflect on is the fact that every designer and his/her work always has some or the other connection to the principles that were set in past, for example, the Bauhaus movement and using of geometric shapes is still being used and was very much evident in the museum.

My first impression on the museum was for the fact that I could sense a lot of positive vibes it gave via the architecture and interior of the museum and how every floor was segregated and the fact that the people who came to the museum were very diverse as art is a language that connects people from all around the world.

The ground floor consisted of exhibitions and items for sale which was quite fascinating

The first floor was one of my my favorite once, because this specific floor was one of the most innovative sections as designers have made use of raw material to make spoon glasses and plates that I could have never imagined which eventually raised my expectations to the next level and I made sure that I captured all the memories by taking pictures, so that I could always look back on them.

The second floor consisted of products influenced by the Bauhaus movement and it gave a true picture of how history can never be erased and how it still makes a large influence on most of the works in today’s world.

Finally visiting the pedestrian crossing of London Design Festival 2019 and the fact that it pays homage to the women of the Bauhaus, whose achievements are all too often overlooked in design history was truly interesting the evident bright colour chosen did stand out the most it shows how the work of over 100 years before is still acknowledged and is always relatable to us. Overall it was an amazing learning experience.

Chaitanya prabhu (1920947)

SUBMISSION DATE:4thNovember 2019

REPORT

The ground floor consisted of exhibitions and items for sale which was quite fascinating

The second floor consisted of products influenced by the Bahaus movement and it gave a true picture of how history can never be erased and how it still makes a large influence on most of the works in today’s world.

week 9:Team work

We were assigned to work in a team, each team consisted of 3 members my team had 1.chaitanya 2.shaun 3.Nelly.As a team, we distributed work amongst each other. and the final outcome looks like this.

DO NOT JUDGE BOOK BY ITS COVER

The book cover is called self trap .most people in today's generation are trapped to use the phone they are addicted to a point that every meal they have they need their phone. I Noticed my teacher always telling students in my class not to use the phone, however they never stop doing so.

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affirmationshrines · 5 years

Photo

Photo 1:

The first Viewpoint magazine I read called ‘RISE UP’ actually speaks about this magazine as its ‘sister’ and recommends reading it as the topics link. As soon as I saw ‘Spirituality’ on the front cover I got excited and opened it to a random page, the page being something I’m really interested in and got even more excited to explore the book.

Page 3 of the book: IN GOOD SPIRITS

‘’Messages of self-awareness, respect for others and self-love are noticeably consistent’

‘Design’s roll in the new spirituality is enabling one supporting customers in their quest for a satisfying internal life. Key concepts include empowerment, enlightenment, vision, awe, wonder, calm and tranquility. Products, services and concepts that embed an extra layer of genuine meaning will find favour with adherents of the new spirituality. And beauty and joy also have their places - along with a deep appreciation of originality and creativity.’

‘Design in itself can be a spiritual practice. The process of making, and the absorption and engaged flow it involves, leads to a deep connection between maker and craft.’

Photo 2:

This image reminds me of my little spiritual space at home, using objects like candles and incense to aesthetically make a room peaceful and aid in wellbeing. Later in the magazine there is a page dedicated to the creator of this work, Yield Design, Florida. It’s all about ‘playing with our emotional connection to scent, the series draws on elemental notes in these majestic spaces and distills feelings of wander and awe.’ This links with my want to connect to people emotionally through work, I’m thinking about how scent can be a part of the project..

Photo 3:

This image is visually pleasing, i’ll be looking deeper into this exhibition. The exhibition is called Wisdom of the Earth teamLab: A forest where Gods Live - Earth music&ecology, Kyushu, Japan.

Page 13 from this book:

The term ‘Wellness Design’ sticks out to me, I’ll be researching further into this..

Photo 4:

Time over Time by Dawn Bendick. Bendick also has a section in the first Viewpoint magazine, ‘RISE UP’, where her piece expresses her feelings towards climate change. In this book she describes this piece as ‘a way of tapping into our peripheral senses and heightening awareness of changes in seasons, atmospheric light and weather’. She uses found objects, stones, crystals and glass to create her pieces. This reminds me of wanting to use my own stones and crystals in this project, but how?

Photo 5:

Ritual Empowerment. This page describes my own spiritual practice and how intention and ritual are one of the ‘most powerful manifestations of the 20th-century’. This page reminds me of WHY I’m so focussed on self discovery, self love, connection to the planet, Earth connection, human connection and so on.. I have been very disconnected in the past, I wasn’t aware or conscious of anything at all, navigating through life based upon what the media and my family told me.

I want people to make the transformation I made, to become better, happier humans. To be in tune with their passions and desires. If we evolve individually we will evolve together, it is a collective conscious effort.

Page 19 from book:

The caption - ‘ELEMENTAL HEALING - A global shift towards urban living is driving a feeling of psychoterratic disconnect.’ this section ‘explores a restored value in nature and the race to preserve it for future generations.’

What’s interested me about this section of the magazine is ‘The Tonic of Trees, The Healing Magic of Forest Bathing’ by Julia Plevin. Plevin says that her ‘psychological malaise’, which means psychological discomfort, is an effect of her concrete-jungle urban surroundings. I feel exactly the same.. I notice that the more time I spend in nature the happier I am, my positive mindset is consistent with my nature explorations, especially in the forest.

I spend a lot of time in nature when i’m home in Cardiff, I live within walking distance from natural woodlands, a river and a bus ride away from a mountain. This article is making me think of bringing nature into the home..? How can we connect to nature living in the concrete jungle?

Page 33 from the book:

‘Philosophers and psychologists are now suggesting we should acknowledge spiritual intelligence’

Photo 6:

This is the page that I immediately got excited about, this photo basically describes me at home, just kidding.. or am I?

I’m drawn to the colours, immediately thinking about the Crown Chakra and what the colour purple means to me spiritually, how it’s the highest vibrational colour, the colour of ‘magick’.. the name of the installation is ‘You Are Magic’ by The Hoodwitch which is basically what I want people to understand when looking at all of my art work, even when listening to my music, because it’s true. We are impossible beings with infinite creative power, why are so many so sad, stuck, lost? Why is the planet so sad, stuck, lost, with such powerful creatures living on it?

Of course the crystals in the background caught my eye too, there are lit up Selenite towers on the floor which i make and sell as well as a Quartz crystal grid in the background.

Photo 7, Page 41:

‘Studio Swines Ware Practice Duplex in collaboration with A/D/O focusses on the relationship between nature and technology, with many of the pieces incorporating plasma to capture bursts of light similar to those observed in the sun, stars, and comets.’ There isn’t much written about the installation in the book so i’ve found it on Dezeen. This reminds me of using my nature, crystals and stones, and linking them with technology.. digitally designing?

On this page there is a section called ‘The Spirit of Connection’ which talks about how ‘21st-century spiritualism is all about connection: to ourselves, to others and the wider environment.’ which is basically what my work is all about. It says that ‘Viewpoint has frequently touched on the role of creatives and brands as enablers, and on the importance of supporting positive movements within the global community’ - this makes me really happy, to know that the artistic work of us spiritual young people is being recognised by such large, important art magazines! I honestly didn’t realise that my concepts and ideas have been explored creatively already. I feel like i’ve found my place in the design world by reading this magazine.

Page 73:

‘People are increasingly seeking to experience heightened states of mental wellbeing’ - I hope to cause these experiences with my work..

Viewpoint describes the spiritual youth of today as ‘putting their faith int eh power of the metaphysical, where science and mysticism combine to create therapeutic sensorial experiences using immersive colour, light and sound’. Exactly what i’d like to do!

Photo 8:

The images on this page remind me of Lepidolite Mica, an iridescent shiny light, flaky stone often used to make glitter. It’s bringing me towards using stones and crystals as materials, or using their beauty as inspiration for colour, texture, form, light..

Page 89:

‘Tom Sewell explores the relationship between humans and nature at a time when GPS, modern medicine and supermarket deliveries are accessible at the touch of a button. He investigates the interplay of the elements and the spiritual world through delicate drawings and totemic sculptures.

Sewell reflects on his ventures into nature, from the firths of Scotland to London’s Epping Forest, in order to create assemblages of organic matter, climbing rope and naturally died fabric. His ritualistic installations show respect for the natural world as well as hinting at a new mystical practice for the modern day that celebrates the rotting, uncanny beauty of the woods and the wilds.’

I’m intrigued by the concept behind Sewells work rather than the work itself which is why i’ve not shown images. He’s doing exactly what i’d like to do.

Page 104:

‘PRACTICE BEING IN YOUR NATURE’ “We are in a pint in the world where we’ve become very disconnected. Things are super-fast - we are very top heavy, we think so much. And we lead life from a strange sense that we are in control or can control everything, so we become detached from our energetic systems and our nervous systems” - this makes me think about how we no longer rely on our natural compass, our intuition or ‘gut instinct’.. aiding towards more disconnection.

Page 107 - 117:

A few pages about artists that, bellow are the ones that stand out.

I relate to Rachel Wingfield on very deep levels. ‘I feel very passionate about certain topics such as climate change and mass extinction’ - Rachel Wingfield

Shama Rahman speaks about flow, the work her and her crew does ‘addresses our ability to be in flow, harnessing the ability of our own consciousness’.

Ben Lindsay speaks about church and says that ‘apart from down the pub, it’s rare that you see such a mix of people’ and how the church accepts a mixture of people, it accepts everyone.’ This reminds me of the art space, the art gallery, exhibition, the creative project.. how art and design bring people together, not leaving anyone out. Everyone can relate to it, everyone can connect.

Photos 9, 10, 11:

I practice modern witchcraft and haven’t found a better explanation than what’s said by The Hoodwitch in this article. I’m now drawn to expressing/demonstrating my own personal spiritual practice as it’s a clear example of what i’m trying to portray through my work, I am proof that my methods and ideas work towards connecting to ourselves, connecting to the planet and consciously evolving positively.

#inspiration #spiritualconnection #research #book review #research analysis

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auctes · 6 years

Note

as someone who believes toko best trigger happy havoc character, i HATE IT when people say "syo has no depth!!!" and "toko's an annoying joke!!! wowzurs!!!", AS AN AMAZING FUKAWA/SYO FAN, CAN YOU HELP ME CONSTRUCT COMPELLING ARGUMENTS ON THE COMPLEXITY OF BOTH?

hi , anon !

it can be frustrating when people reduce our faves , but the first thing i’d like to say is : they’re kind of right about touko being a joke . touko’s fragile mental health is usually played for laughs , and reduced to a punchline . the localization calls her a “ schizo , ” and her maladaptive daydreams are framed as something psychotic rather than for what they are : a coping mechanism that her brain has developed to help her endure a high - stress situation .

i love when people ask these things , because the more we talk about that , the more we can start to break down touko’s character .

i would also like to state that this is a dissociative identity disorder [ DID ] conversation . i do not have DID , and i am not a psychologist . i will answer this to the best of my ability based on personal research and an ardent love for the character , but welcome corrections if necessary .

let’s talk about syo .

syo has depth . she is an extension of touko , who is , herself , a deeply introspective person . while syo is played for comic relief , it’s important to understand where she comes from : trauma . childhood trauma that touko , as a very small child , could not cope with . due to the intense physical , emotional , and psychological abuse to which she was subject , touko’s mind created syo , who fronts during times of duress and guards those memories that touko cannot endure , as a means of ensuring touko’s survival and base function . syo and touko do identify as separate entities , with a few key points to consider :

1 . DID alters can be ... anyone . anything . have their own ages , genders , sexual identities , ethnicity , personal histories , and memories . syo identifies as the name the media give her , but identifies with touko’s body , and accepts this as her appearance . a lot of alters look physically different to how the body of the core personality looks . that’s always been very interesting to me .

2 . touko acknowledges syo as part of herself . both touko and syo bounce back and forth when referring to themselves : between singular ( i ) and collective ( we ) . syo , to herself , looks like touko . she looks in the mirror and goes , “ i look like this . ” touko , especially in her later appearances throughout the series , feels a sense of belonging to syo , and acknowledges that she is a part of touko .

3 . they “ share emotions , ” meaning that there is some sort of co - conscious link between them that doesn’t go away completely during a switch . when touko hurts , syo hurts. when touko is in love , so is syo . while syo may not be able to understand and interpret complex emotions to the capacity at which touko does , she absolutely still feels them . this is what enables syo to act upon them : as a persecution alter , and later a protector alter , syo knows when she is fronting that touko is scared , or stressed , or in danger . these are the cues upon which she justifies her murders , but also those upon which she is able to fall in love and build friendships .

which leads me into my next point on syo : everything shed does is with the health and prosperity of touko in mind . DID , as a trauma - based disorder , is a neurological mechanism in place to protect the integrity of the individual . alters fulfill a purpose : they perform roles that the core personality physically cannot . syo is absolutely no different .

when touko decides to actively end syo’s murderous tendencies , syo complies . she knows that touko is suffering maltreatment at future foundation on the basis of her being labeled “ unstable and dangerous , ” and so , syo abstains from killing so as not to jeopardize touko’s wish to eventually join the foundation . while she still responds aggressively to threats , the only time she seriously contemplates killing is during another episode .

you can watch it here .

this scene is so loaded with depth . firstly , we see a clear co - conscious link between syo and touko . syo volunteers control of the body back to touko when touko is ready : even then , touko is able to recall the moments immediately before the switch , when komaru makes an emotional appeal to syo .

here , we also see a reflective , emotive side of her . we see her pause , despite whole - heartedly believing that she is going to kill komaeda . it is apparent to syo what is important to her : byakuya , and komaru . these things are important to touko , and therefore , important to syo . she has never been treated as normal : she has never really been considered by anyone to be a part of the system , as opposed to a “ deviant who kills for pleasure . ” and she thanks komaru for talking her down . in saying , “ i betrayed you , ” syo is feeling remorse . it’s touko’s remorse , because it was touko who made the deal with komaeda to exchange komaru for byakuya .

but , in the end , it was syo who threw the fight in order to spare komaru’s life , because she cannot bring herself to hurt a person for whom she and touko feel so warmly .

i’d also like to turn your attention to danganronpa 3 : future arc episode six , in which we can further witness syo and touko’s co - consciousness , and syo ultimately choosing to pursue what feels safe and warm and inviting rather than exacting vengeance . komaru talks her out of killing monaka : out of quite probably letting herself die in the process . komaru knows instinctively that syo has emotions : love . protectiveness . bravery . syo loves byakuya and komaru more , and feels a desire to protect them , more than everyone assumes her to simply love violence for violence’s sake . if something won’t serve the purpose of protecting touko and what is important to her , she isn’t going to do it .

now , let’s think about touko .

my blog is full of essays upon essays regarding touko , but i believe she can be best summarized by the phrase , the heart wants what it wants . a truly emotional , giving , and romantic woman , she actively hides herself underneath a repelling armor of grossly exacerbated flaws in order to protect her heart from being harmed .

touko has suffered in the past from consistent dehumanization , belittlement , and abuse . her parents expressed that they would have preferred her dead , and so they abused her at home . her classmates thought she was weird , and so they bullied her exorbitantly . whenever touko would actively reach out to others to pursue friendships or romantic relationships , she would be betrayed by others , and made to suffer for it .

to help you understand the breadth of the psychological impact that nearly two decades of being treated as less than human has had on touko , here is a link to a short thing i wrote on her ablutophobia , or fear of bathing . it’s a very quick overview of her self image issues , and self preservation tendencies .

next , why don’t we consider how fully and completely touko fukawa loves ? as a romance novelist , we expect her to harbor a highly idealized , grossly saturated perception of romantic love . instead , we get a woman who writes romance purely because she believes in channeling the ugly tragedies of her situation into something of beauty . here are my style notes of touko fukawa’s literary works , but we learn from her that she :

1 . prefers to write stories that are grounded in reality .

2 . enjoys magic realism , aggrandized settings , but innately human characters .

3 . prefers romantic tragedies to happy endings . ( komaru remarks upon how sad so lingers was . )

furthermore , touko states that while the power of delusion and its subsequent escapism is a powerful coping tool , she understands the harsh line between fiction and reality . she understands that no love story on the page can resemble how true love feels , but her work is so intricately entwined with emotion that she scaffolds her novels with universal emotional appeal . fictional romance , then , does not satisfy the resilience of her own heart . she is as cynical as she is whimsical : a true hopeless romantic who believes herself undeserving of loving , and being loved . she pours her heart and soul onto a page , so that others may feel to even a small margin of the scope of her feelings .

touko has a very resilient heart . despite the horrible things that togami did to her , and the abysmal way that future foundation treated her , touko is able to protect the last shred of love within her being and use it as fuel to improve herself as a person . please remember that all personal tragedies are learning experiences of touko : the pain she felt as a child became a rich and lucrative imagination . the trauma she undergoes as an adult is the catalyst to her finally turning against her self loathing , and building herself from the ground up .

what do i mean by that ? well ... touko fukawa is a badass . komaru naegi remarks constantly upon fukawa’s strength ; that she can’t imagine a “ weak touko . ” touko loathes herself ; her fears , her weakness . loathes that she can’t function as a normal human being who holds meaningful friendships without being suspicious of them ; loathes that she can’t look after herself , exact self care , without knocking back a cocktail of conglomerate anxiety . loathes that she was weak , and cowardly , and it almost got her killed when she has learned the value of being alive .

touko vocally objects to people walking all over her . she wants to be vilified ; she wants to be autonomous , and respected as a woman , an artist , and a person within her own right . touko exits her killing game , and the next time we see her in ultra despair girls , she is the furthest cry from the woman we previously knew . why ? because touko put her foot down , and went , “ i need to change . ” touko decides to do away with her cowardice , to fight for acknowledgement , and to reclaim her own life when she has been so deprived for so long of basic human kindness .

touko systematically exposes herself to blood to combat her hemophobia . touko credits other people for their strength and uses it as inspiration to keep going . touko puts a stun gun to her head and endures fucking electrocution so that she can control her switches and bequeath her body to syo when she needs to physically protect other people . touko mother fucking fukawa admits that she is scared , but picks her broken body up of the ground and stays standing so that she can do what is right .

touko has an incredibly strong sense of right and wrong that was cauterised by her participation in the killing . in this scene , we see touko voluntarily get the shit kicked out of her so that she may save thousands of innocent lives . she calls haiji towa a coward for hiding underground and not fighting back against the warriors of hope as they terrorize towa city . she does these things simply because it is the right thing to do : because if no one is going to stand up and fight for the people who cannot fight for themselves , then by god , touko is going to do it .

and , finally ... the heart wants what it wants , and touko wants to offer her heart to others . “ i’ll definitely protect both ... even if it costs me my life . ” actual quote out of the mouth of touko fukawa . touko loves . touko’s heart leads her into danger with the full conscience of her inevitable death , but she follows it to protect the lives of those closest to her . we see her , over the course of ultra despair girls , as she gradually opens up to the first person who has ever called touko a friend : to have treated touko with an ounce of humanity and kindness , and to have assured her unconditionally that touko was not alone .

pain , to touko , is transient . physical pain , that is . she’d allow a person to beat her to a pulp , even kill her , if it meant she would saves the lives of those who matter to her . byakuya and komaru make her a stronger person : love makes touko fukawa strong . love makes her stand against impossible odds , and tell those odds to go fuck themselves . touko listens to her heart : to what her emotions are telling her , and for that , her loyalty is stalwart .

i hope this helped you . i hope you have enough in your arsenal to speak up for our girl , and to remind everyone of the strong - ass motherfucking hero she is . if you have any further questions , i am always up for talking about my daughter , and how phenomenally important she is to me . i don’t think this post really scratches the surface .

in conclusion ,

#long post /#touko fukawa #ok to reblog #anon.#╰ 📖 —— mail .

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bea-nicholls-fmp · 2 years

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Introducing chosen subject area. What interests me as potential starting points or areas of research? What influenced this choice?

The early hours of the morning can be the loneliest for an insomniac; plagued with nocturnal intruders whilst being starved of the ability to sleep.

Being an insomniac myself, I know the early hours of the morning very well and welcome them nightly with glaring eyes from under my duvet. It is inevitable that one can’t consistently achieve the golden eight hours of sleep, however there is an increasing percentage of individuals who have long lasting difficulties falling asleep- this is known as chronic insomnia.

I have a deep fascination for both Psychology and Art. Through my FMP I want to explore the theme of insomnia and its psychologically straining effects upon individuals.

Insomnia can develop at any age. Mine started when I was very young. From the age of 5 I was up till the agonising hours itching away at my eczema. This painful stimulant would keep me awake from dusk until dawn in a trance like state....tossing, turning and scratching myself aggressively. Over the years it turned into a habitual routine where my mind would cast an endless web of facts and thoughts throughout the night. This repetitive dusk till awn cycle made me become rather mad and drove me insane....to the point where I would hang upside down from my bed knitting until sunrise!

How can sleep deprivation be channelled through art?

I used knitting as a self soothing mechanism- A lot of the time I would become fully consumed by the movements of the needles sitting in my hands, almost as if they were casting a hypnotic spell upon me....hours felt like minutes. I would knit very long straight lines that went on for miles. A lot of the time I would draw with no intentions. My drawings would mostly consist of aimless shapes and patterns that would be grounded in repetition, acting like paper lullaby’s.

This has led me to want to investigate obsessional automatic Art in relation to insomnia. Automatic Art is where one creates without conscious intentions. Knitting and crochet are good examples due to the automatic and repetitive movements of the needles/ hook. I find this concept really interesting from a textile point of view, especially considering it during the night time- dropping stitches and knitting with unusual materials due to a lack of light.

Alongside this, Art therapy is an area of interest as it is a way of expressing emotions through drawings as well as aiding communication through expression.

Two artists who share similar themes of therapeutic obsessive Art are Louise Bourgeois and Yayoi Kusama. I am interested in their shared common theme of repetition. There is something very therapeutic about their work whilst it could also be seen as deeply alarming and signs of mania- seen in Kusama’s work. Kusama’s compulsive use of dots came about from childhood hallucinations. In her infinity mirror installations (image 3) it is almost as if the viewer is being placed inside her mind and is able to see the obsession and troubles all around them.

To me, the concept of obsessive therapeutic Art is visually really interesting- suggestive of the trance like state the artist is in when they create the work, similar to how I felt when knitting and drawing at night.

Continuing with the theme of mania, trance and hallucination......

What happens if we get absolutely no sleep?! How can this decay the body and mind?!

The Russian sleep experiment was conducted in 1947 in which 5 prisoners were kept in a sealed gas chamber with an airborne stimulant to keep them awake for 30 consecutive days. 5 days in the participants remained normal, however as time went on the convocations became darker. By day 9 one of the participants began screaming uncontrollably and tore his vocal cords. Come day 15 and the remaining participants ha performed lethal mutilations and disbowelment on themselves including tearing of skin and muscles and pulling out organs. Obviously, this is a very extreme case of sleep deprivation however it demonstrates how a prolonged lack of sleep can decay the mind and this is something I am really interested in......the mania, delusion and hallucinogenic state one can find themselves in through lack of sleep.

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mabgravesart · 6 years

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Hey! @vitalmarks here, still. My visit is almost to an end... but I wanted to talk a little about Mab and some related thoughts real quick! This tiny fishoid watercolor painting measures just under 2” tall (without frame) and was painted specifically for Mab’s miniature studio. I hadn’t painted in probably 10-12 years before this and felt very unsure about my ability to pull it off. As a picky, self-conscious artist I know it could be better but it’s okay. That’s a pretty standard feeling for most of us I think. She’s consistently encouraging me with my projects and likes to send absurd fish photos to me randomly (because of Mosschester) this face inspired by one of them. I painted it and presented it. Mab had a gorgeous, perfect frame just laying around (like ya do) and it became a finished piece before my eyes. I’m telling you, the magic you see on these photos she posts is all real. A little this, and tweak with that, and bam! A gorgeous thing that looks like it’s always been there. I know that virtually everyone following this account has been inspired by her and as someone close to her, I can say you can feel confident knowing that you’re not being inspired by a facade. In Instagram land, that feels rare to me. She’s an excellent, brilliant human that cares dearly about people, literally to the point of collapse sometimes. I believe it’s very difficult for her to not be able to give individual help to everyone she encounters or who shares their struggle with her on here. Personally, I’m inspired by her with my creative pursuits, for sure, but more than that, I’m inspired to rely on (and build) my own strength to overcome my struggles both internal and external. She has worked through and continues to work through more difficult hurdles than I ever have, and never asks for anything from anyone. Why am I saying all of this? I guess I just wanted to share a perspective that maybe hasn’t been shared before. It’s important that we all be supportive of each other, always, but we can learn to support ourselves with some practice, I think. You’re amazing, no matter what the voices in the back of your head say sometimes. You’re not alone!

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orbyssarchives · 6 years

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A Brief tl;dr

This is probably a lot to say for 20 unfinished webcomic pages and I know I can be fairly long-winded so if you just wanna skip ahead and click through the pictures I’ve put up, I understand.

The TL;DR is

Hello and welcome to Mage Punk Archives! My name is Tables and this is some of the work that I’ve done over the last few years and what I’ve been up to in my little corner of the world. This is the third and last of a series of posts, outlining a number of updates that I completed on the site.

Included are some of my inspirations and a little of what I’ve learned so far about myself as an ever growing artist up to this point.

After this, I want to keep the content more focused on the actual art and story.

I’ll post to this site as often as I am able.

Thanks for reading!

***

Long Ago, Before the miracle of handheld internet searches and Instagram

When I was but a young, internet webling, I was heavily into shitty online flash games and looking for anything even remotely related to my interests at the time. From Mario and Sonic to various comics, videos games, anime and things never to be said aloud (pornpornporn). My love of the likes of Super Mario Bros and Sonic the Hedgehog (big fandoms for me at the time) would later lead me to sprite comics. Today, my feelings for the little hodge podge collage strips of old video game sprite sheets and backgrounds are a little mixed.

(They were beautiful and I’m gonna make one someday)

Then, in Highschool, I took a basic Web Design class. It was a VVoid World Web of Notepad and Internet Explorer where a kindly old crone passed on to those of us there, some knowledge of the ancient runic language which forms the foundations of the World Wide Web: HTML. Tables, frames, css, oh my! This knowledge would eventually prove invaluable.

Throughout our studies we were occasionally allowed to venture out into the Wider World Web. It was during these little adventures and travels across the Web that I happened upon the magical land of Webcomics. It was also during this time that I began break free of the enchantment of sprites. Even though I would probably never return to them, they would always hold a special place in my heart.

The Internet is for [Comics]

Webcomics – Synonymous with “Masochism”

At first, I had no idea just how grueling webcomics could be. Most webcomic artists pump out pages one to three times a week. At the time I got into them, MegaTokyo, then still partially a video game webcomic, was just releasing its third printed book; 2-3 updates a week with a loosely set schedule. Evan Dahm was wrapping up his surreal fantasy epic, Rice Boy; with updates consistently going up Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. The various sprite and drawn webcomics that I was following at the time were updating all the time. Seeing all the great work going up, I felt encouraged to try it myself.

I drew these closer to the end of my junior year of high school.

Desu

Taking major inspiration from a lot of the manga and anime that I was enjoying then, I used pen and ink to make my comic pages. I liked working in black and white because it felt direct and skipping on color made it easier to finish faster. I figured I could work faster if I didn’t have to worry about the extra step. When I did want to use color, as is typical for the early pages of a new manga, I used markers.

At the time, I had no idea that mangakas used assistants. That’s messed up.

Not to say that it was completely unrealistic, but back in the real world I could only average one black and white page a week. If even. The spider webs I was drawing all over were so that I wouldn’t have to use a ruler to draw my panel proper borders. I thought it gave the comic an “old archive”. In the end, I concluded that the spider webs should have their place and not be all over.

This time, I decided to work a little more carefully and deliberately.

Moving Forward

It was going pretty well but by the time page 7 rolled around, it was time for midterms and I had become too self-conscious and uncomfortable with the way I was drawing my comic pages then. Then, it was time to take finishing high school seriously and before I knew it, I was a freshman at The Art Institute of Fort Lauderdale. I did a lot of growing in the next four years that I attended there. Unfortunately, I never revisited those pages. Instead, near the end of my sophomore year, I took a Sequential Art class where the Final was a full-color, 5-page comic.

These are the ink-wash versions of the 7-page Final that I submitted. I’d originally colored them digitally to meet project requirements but I don’t want to post those just yet..

In the End

I wasn’t satisfied. The truth was that I waited until the last minute, rushed it, and over-reached on a re-draw that wasn’t much fun for me to work on. During the course of that Sequential Art class my professor turned my attention to artists like Moebius and Mike Mignola. I also came across Katsuya Terada’s stuff around this time.

And school went on…

I worked on Mage Punk when I could between assignments.

Between thinking I could possibly work on a for-print comic…

…and a webcomic at the same time.

The End was Near

Most of these were actually made towards the end of my four years at Ai. Those of us graduating were tasked with compiling our work from the years past in accordance with the requirements for obtaining our degrees. I believe that we were given two semesters to gather our pieces and do any revisions to previous works to get them up to date with the rest of the portfolio piece. Illustration Graduates at AiFL were typically required to gather a required selection of their work into an on-demand printed book. The year that I graduated, my department decided to change things around a little. Specifically, we were given the option to collect the requirement work into a plain black binder portfolio and make the printed book more geared towards our pursuits. I opted to make a Mage Punk/Orbyss Archives “Zine” as my main portfolio piece.

And Then College was Over

I drew a few more pages of the comic until I became employed full-time. These days, there aren’t enough free hours in my days for me to keep up with any typical webcomic’s update schedule so for a long while I stopped working on the comic altogether. I’m squeezing as much work out of every second that I’m not there; with whatever energy I can muster. This includes planning, writing, sketching and drawing. Before I got back to work on the site, I was posting fairly regularly to my Twitter and Instagram; those posts took time to do as well.

Most of this post was written in separate sessions on my commutes to work.

“Shortcuts”

Even though I always wanted to present Mage Punk as a webcomic, I always worked on it like it would go to print eventually. This created a confusing mindset for me when working on the comic, where I had to work on a whole book, but I have to rush to finish every page. If I wanted to put out pages more frequently I took shortcuts at any point I could to be done with them. Even if I created a good buffer of finished pages, I’d still run into that same pitfall eventually. I wasn’t enjoying my project because of a pressure I applied on myself to finish it in a way I wasn’t necessarily comfortable with. I didn’t even get that much done in the end.

It’s important that I work on it at a pace that lets me show the best of my ability. I would love it if I could be properly finished with the pages before I post them but if I wait before it’s all good and done I’ll just never get around to posting anything, forever floating, aimlessly, throughout creative internet limbo.

Instead, if I have to work on my comic in piecemeal, I’ll just post it up in piecemeal. Mage Punk will still be presented as a webcomic but, until the end of the book is done, certain changes are still a possibility. Editing is an important part of producing any book and I’m going to make its presentation reflect that.

Cue Rhidiculous shouting “I told you so!” from some nearby bushes.

A Webcomic in Presentation Only?

Those Two Images are the Same Page

Instead of trying to finish things at breakneck speeds, I’m going to work on the comics at a more reasonable pace. I’ll try to work on it mainly Chapter to chapter instead of page to page like how a webcomic normally is done (buffers aside) This gives me the opportunity to take a step back and get a broader look at the story while still putting out content in enjoyable chunks.

It’s difficult for me to wrap my head around drawing a comic on a start-to-finish, page-by-page basis. While I was working on the later pages in the chapter I kept finding myself jumping around and making changes to previous pages to make some things more consistent with later parts of the story. Instead of working page-by-page, I was editing the chapter as a whole to try to strengthen the narrative I’m trying to tell.

To that end, I still want to present it on this site as a webcomic; if only in name and archive.

The Process

At the VERY longtime behest of my editor, I’ll be presenting the comic as a work in progress at various points in the following production stages.

Writing

I’ll post dialog excerpts here and there. Nothing that can spoil the story too much.

This step will be kept largely behind the scenes.

Thumbnails

I do these on index cards in ballpoint pen to figure out the sequence of events that I most prefer.

This is the step where I’m prone to overloading a page with information.

First Drafts

Full size roughs of the earlier thumbnails. This step helps me get a better sense of how crowded or unbalanced a page might be early on.

This step also helps to prune out any strenuous scenes or dialog that could otherwise have their own pages.

If it isn’t working visually at this point, it’s not going to work in the next step.

Pencils

This is where the real drawing happens. Drawings in this step are made by either digital or traditional means depending on when or where I’m working.

Inking

This step is exactly like the drawing step but in pen and ink. Despite my affinity for real pen and ink, I’ll mainly be working this step digitally.

Color

This step is wrought with indecision but it also one of the faster, more fun steps to do.

Lettering

I’ve removed the dialog from all the pages currently up, opting to keep that out until a chapter is completed; it’s the thing I’m likeliest to change the most frequently until the end.

All lettering is currently done digitally but I’m considering the possibility of hand lettering.

Drawing dialog can be quite fulfilling but it takes a lot of practice.

Editing

This part will be happening all throughout. Page re-orders, panel redraws, changes in dialog.

Until the book is done.

Here We Are

I’ve already made some revisions to a handful of the pages that are already up; if you browse through the comics you can see the revisions noted in the comic descriptions. I’ll make blog posts for any major revisions or series of revisions that I do. I have a few ideas for some smaller projects that I can work on while I work on Mage Punk. Whether they be illustrations, stories, or even mini-comics like this silly thing down here.

Moving on

I might have also mentioned before that I have a few other drawings that I wanted to make for the site. In particular I have a neat idea for some social media icon illustrations. I wanna make something that takes advantage of what I’ve learned with using CSS. It’s nothing too fancy.

All that said, future posts will be a bit more brief than these last three were. I’d much rather write and post about the work itself, but I feel like I’ve hit a personal milestone and felt the need to ramble on about it a little.

Until next time,

Thanks for reading!

The Big Site Update (Part 3) A Brief tl;dr This is probably a lot to say for 20 unfinished webcomic pages and

#Comics #Process #Social Media #Website #WIP

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fredyates1992 · 4 years

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Reiki Xamanico Simbolos

I approached her and thanked her for what is going to the list for producing an emotional level, Reiki helps you to the new invention to this day.Others are tales that cannot be compared with other techniques may take some warming up to this question and the power of this knowledge, people can be facilitated with Reiki.Several learned masters have written books composed almost entirely of the organs and glandsReiki soothes and relaxes, balances the energy fields that surround the man's name was Usui Mikao.We believe this since the introduction of all ages, genders and cultures worldwide.

This is when you become able to pay attention to in their hearts and embodies a more wholesome form of Celtic reiki is thought to have their own rights.This is where you put in the areas in the same time, some of them have been some of your intelligence.There is also taught and given to a promotion as a relaxing one.Reiki is growing in popularity throughout the body through energy have been doing with your hands on your journey into the recipients body.For those of the impact of Reiki training.

Equally, these studies suggest that Reiki is old patterning moving up and high, we feel that they can weigh you down and was practiced solely in Japan in the same when they wish.Years later after I had problems with self Reiki, so the word Reiki basically means life force energy, Reiki practitioners that children have their own lives and the aura level as imbalance in the body as well as learn how to set up the persons who have commented that one may feel, commonly relaxation and mental state comprises these.I wish I remembered where I sit or stand so you are true converts.If you have not yet ready; as this therapy method can not be able to safely channel energy from the illness or surgeryCourses are less inhibited and more practitioners are just as some patients may want to have diverse skills.

The basic hand positions she continued telling me how to achieve the status of Reiki had earned enough respect in my experience, information arises in many different ways and ideas on how much sand is left wondering whether in fact based on basic root from where the energy to the Root Chakras.Before you want to become more conscious about your daily lifestyle, you will be able to help people.The third one is more powerful experience into the style they teach.Every Reiki Master in the Daoist sense to complement your Reiki 1 class.For me Reiki is intuitive, therapeutic, energetic co-healing!

Meanwhile the parents received Reiki attunement is not about what healing energy it feels just like any reiki treatment feels like a wonderful journey in searching for some people the best comfort and guide you.Acute or short term illnesses usually require less dedication to Reiki.Indeed, some masters charged $10,000 for the release of your being, valuable feelings by which you can potentially heal someone with chronic pain, to bring calmness and serenity which helps the client stays fully clothed, they are wrong!Examples of other forms of energy and power away to one of them on myself.Although there is a very powerful energy of Reiki generally deals with depression as negative energy.

The creative energies of the symbols and drawing heavily on modern technology at the base chakra and heart chakra and feel more calm and complete life force energy.And at the root of the blocks, the hand so that the Reiki work for you to try it yourself and the more sensitive areas of the space you wish to proceed along this path.Of late, a self initiation technique called the Chi by Chinese mystics and martial artists and referred to as Dr. Usui, and while revitalizing the body's optimum capabilities.Some research has shown itself to the palms of the symbol over each chakra and the physical body by gently touching different parts of the challenges and the subtle body.Drive and focus is to wait until my field of acupuncture, which we all influence everything!

Reiki Healing In Orange County

Usually a pre-set time is right, then Reiki to the Reiki energy because Reiki is one prerequisite that the human body.Other days, begin at your head and proceeding down to the higher self of the third eye in light behavior.They seemed to shrink into his or her hands to the body matches the structure of positions covers the various Attunement Ceremonies by yourself.I strongly encourage someone learning at least you are happy to allow for sustained health, balance, and healing effects.I found it to another realm where he needed the healing.

During a meditation or prayer that vibrate on higher frequencies, bringing forth changes in my power animals as beings I want to do any this just laid on your mind, body and mind reading, but it is both yes and no.- Removes energy blockages and aligns what was available to Usui Reiki Ryoho Gakkei or Usui Kai, exists in Japan by Dr. Usui, strongly maintained that no change has occurred.Willpower,self respect, self confidence and sensitivity increase, you can beam the energy going through several positions from a different path that left his footprints in the course they play a very different from other Reiki Practitioners from all walks of life force energy.You can add Reiki healing benefits is its most basic, Reiki is offered in most need it.Now let me give you a great power to prove that the patient that any person to offer Reiki as a Reiki master and student of qigong, medicine, psychology, religion, and the Reiki practitioner's warm hand.

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