#I am NOT making a FNAF joke | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

stitchwraith-stingers · 5 months

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godd i hate fazbear frights so much they ruined the lore ://// whats next, fazbear frights tumblr dash simulator??? fuck this

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🌙 motts-talking

i swear to god my brothers little pets are so freaky they ate my fish and made him into them, like spontanious mitosis or something and now im trying to get rid of them and i swear im so afraid of accidently drinking them

🌙 motts-talking

WHAT THE HELL..... HOW DO YOU HAVE A TUMBLR ACCOUNT, GO AWAYYYYYYY

21 notes

🔎 detective-larson

just got called into work today and they want me to look into this case and they think its associated with the stitchwraith... why do i work here 🔎 detective-larson

its been 3 months since i last posted and i may or may not have not known what i was getting into

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anonymous asked:

can you stop posting about your werid doll thing i get it ur like rich and shit now but its so hidieous and ugly it almost makes me want to unfollow and vomit

🍀 luckiest-boy-blog

i LIKE my ADVICE DOLL its just this little thing i like and you REJECT IT. YOU HATE IT BECAUSE I LIKE IT

154 notes

🎀 dovewing-kinnie

sorry ive been so inactive on this account, lets just say my mental health has been doing better! :) got some help from a family friend, ill be back to posting soon

🎀 dovewing-kinnie

the junkyard

15,816 notes

anonymous asked: aita for accidently indirectly killing my friend?

sorry for any spelling mistakes, im still shaken up by the whole thing

so i (14F) and my friend, who ill call P (14F) have recently both gone on a school trip to some werid factory (wont bother specifying which as to not doxx me), now i was known for being kinda, i guess "rude"? and while we seperated from the group and P was already slightly nervious about that, we went onto the catwalks and despite her pleading i decide to walk to a sign that said "NOT SAFE" or something along those lines

surprise surprise i fell, near me was a vat of boiling hot sauce or whatever and me, having somehow survived the fall, i decided to play a little prank, i would stay hiding in there for afew days, i think i managed to stay in there for 3 days? before i got kicked out

now first i visited my boyfriends house to tell him that im alive and whatever, and then i went to P's house, knowing it was like 2 am or something, i rang like three times i think and then i heard something fall

as it turned out, P had fallen off the roof of her house (i have no idea what she was doing in the first place) AND HAD SNAPPED HER NECK, i obviously screamed, who wouldnt, now i went from being the most popular girl in school to an outcast because of this

❓ aita-official

What are these acronyms?

🥀 the-ravens-death

925 notes

🐩 useless-dog-lesbian

utah is so werid, what do you mean people have an urban legend about a werid tall thing that has a trashbag with them at all times and can kill people with just a single touch

🥨 pretzel-liker-173

THEIR NAME IS THE STITCHWRAITH ‼‼

💡 yuri-ka

the stitchwraith is 100% funnier if you imagine theyre two kids in a trenchcoat with a halloween mask just trying to clean the planet, like ive seen it but it avoids people like the plauge

🐩 useless-dog-lesbian

what the fuck do you mean youve seen it

10,027 notes

⚡ chucks-vent-blog

are you really living life if you havent gotten an expirience where your older sibling just dissapears or dies

⚡ chucks-vent-blog

like when i was younger my brother had these reaccouring near freak-accidents of him almost loosing an eye or an arm and i was trying to tell him that maybe he had annoyed this one animatronic he tried to freak me out with and he yelled at me and then told me to come find him after school and then it turned out he got hit by a car, i wish i could explain to people normally about this without ti sounding werid

🎫 silliestlittleguy

how normal is this expirience? not my brother but my cousin just dissapeared suddenly, i had saved up so many tickets just to get him a gift from the nearby arcade! :(

🍬 horse-sona

god this is so true, i had a step-sister who dispised me because i was getting all the attention and just out of spite ate my candy that was specifically given to me by the place we were visiting, the next day we found out she had snuck out and the car was taken elsewhere with no sign of her, we figured she ran away or something but its been so long we decided shes dead at this point

🐟 fish-enjoyer

my older brother tried to flush my pet sea bonnies down the toilet because he apparently saw them eating his fish or something, never saw him again after that and the only witness just said he looked blue, i still have no idea what that means

⚡ chucks-vent-blog

i did not expect this to be more common then i thought what the fuck

1,729 notes

🍂 phineas-taggart-official

hello tumblr! sorry for not posting, ive been working on getting some stuff for an experiment and they finally arrived, will keep you updated

🌱 gregsexperiments

phineas taggart had died afew hours after posting this, detectives believe this is the stitchwraiths doing

🦋 restingatdawn

frankenstein behavior

28,275 notes

🐇 bnuuygirl

just saw a girl in the school cafetirea disintigrate into trash, cant have shit in utah

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🥀 the-ravens-death

i just witnessed my crush talk to some basic girl all lovey dovey in the school and i just ran back home while all i want for christmas is you was playing.. im so tired i fucking hate everyone i hate my life i want to die im so tired

🦇 vampire-girl-shelly

guess all he wanted for christmas is her huh

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🦉 justanothermiddleagedguy

my collgues are such assholes man first i hear them just kissing in the game testing room out loud for some reason and then when its my birthday and they do some werid freaky birthday surprise they misspell my name, its not hard to spell jeremiah correctly i promise you

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🥈 scrap-metal-enthusiast

might fuck around and kill someone else idk

#calico.exe #this took me forever ... the begining is a joke i am fazbear frights strongest soilder #fake tumblr dashboard #fnaf #five nights at freddy's #fazbear frights #long post #fake post #unreality #dereality #<- just in case #I HAD SO MUCH FUN MAKING THIS i should make a part 2 #if my 2 mutuals like this idk #I WAS GETTING LAZY BY THE END IM SO SORRY THE USERNAMES ARE ASS DONT KILL ME

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lavenoon · 1 year

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AU Glamrocks, here we go! Close-ups, lines, and character descriptions under the cut <3

Freddy: Code Name: Gold (jokingly called “Golden Boy” by his team members)

The oldest of the Glamrocks, and an import. He’s been with Fez from the start, and has come a long way from “Friedrich Fassbär” (changed to a civilian Freddy Fazbear - bear being a literal translation, and “Faz” sounding similar enough - what a harmless suggestion by the Fez higher ups). Originally programmed in German, sometimes he still slips up even after all the updates and upgrades he went through. Of the Glamrocks, past and present, he’s the only one who wasn’t commissioned by Fez for the purpose of agent work. He was young when he met the late head of Fez, and promptly scouted - young enough to leave behind his previous life and move.

He’s proud to be such a cornerstone of Abra Fez, but it also comes with a burden. From the start, he’s watched people not return from missions, taking on more missions himself as if he could protect everyone if he just did all the work. But in the end, his friends - because they are friends, thanks to Fez’ policy of agents being allowed to share their identity with other agents if they so choose - pulled him back from that brink, and reminded him that it’s not his responsibility, that all agents chose this work, and are aware of the risks. Things happen, but he can only do so much.

Then Foxy “died”, and only a few short months later, Bonnie “disappeared” - it broke him. Freddy grew into a workaholic, and his anxiety skyrocketed about losing more friends. He doesn’t take it out on Roxy or Monty, and doesn’t fault them for the roles they fill. He’s grown to befriend both, though Roxy and Monty themselves keep a bit of a distance for their own reasons. Freddy would like to be greedy, he would like to have it all - his old friends, well and alive, and new friends joining them. The reality that that’s impossible hurts him, and so he drowns himself in work. He remains close to Chica, though often their conversations take a dive in the direction of nostalgia and grief, so they don’t seek each other out exclusively a lot, and besides, he barely has the time nowadays, anyway…

An all-rounder in terms of stealth and intelligence collection

Roxy: Code Name: Gaze (or Glare, when she’s angry - but only where she can’t hear)

Foxy’s direct replacement, and while she wasn’t told in as many words, she’s smart enough to figure that out. Many, many inadequacy issues about it - how is she supposed to live up to someone she never even knew? How is she supposed to feel like she earned her spot when she was instantly promoted into the Glamrock rank after completing training? Is she even any good? Overcompensates by putting on a show and acting aloof and at times even seemingly arrogant, very proud of her sight and the advantages it gives her. That part is real - and she knows she's good, with very real talents and tricks up her sleeve. But her "competition" is long dead, and the knowledge that if he hadn't died she would have just become a normal agent eats at her.

When she joined she barely got to know Bonnie before he disappeared, too, and while his loss hit her as well, she wasn’t as affected as Freddy or even Chica. Meaning she watched in detail how her new coworkers were crushed by the news, acting like barely a shell of their former selves for a long while. For a long while she thought about if that was their reaction to losing Foxy, too - not that she'd ever know.

Felt very awkward for the short while it took for Monty to be promoted into the ranks, as the only one not still mourning, wondering if perhaps she’s not affected enough, and if that makes her an even worse person in Freddy’s and Chica’s eyes, because she’s already replacing their friend.

Assumes many things about Freddy’s and Chica’s views on her in general, doing none of them a favor. A few times she tried asking about Foxy, but felt too bad about the sadness it caused, and so he now haunts her. Sometimes she wonders if the voice telling her she’s a failure is his, because she has no image of him to compare against. She pushes all of that away and still befriends the two, with just those lingering anxieties she’s too scared to bring up, because what if they confirm? With Monty she’s a bit more relaxed, though he has his own issues to work through, so it’s not like they’re closer to each other than anyone else.

Highly driven to prove herself and her merit, doing her best to prove (to Fez, to Freddy and Chica, to herself) that she is the best, and to leave the shadow of Foxy she was thrust in behind.

An all-rounder in terms of stealth and intelligence collection

Chica: Code Name: Pepperoni (usually shortened to Pepper, or the occasional Pep)

Oh, she tries so hard. Has always done her best to be fun and energetic, and felt comfortable with her spot in the world. Then half her friends died in a very short time, Fez started pushing for upgrades and changes, and nowadays she looks in the mirror and barely recognizes herself. She barely recognizes Freddy, either, and it’s almost scarier - she knows she’s still the same person, still feels like herself, even if that peppy energy feels harder and harder to keep up. But for Freddy, the only old friend she has left, she doesn’t even know if he’s still the person she knew underneath all that grief.

Her little family has changed irrevocably, and she tries to make it a new one, even with all of them resisting in their own ways. She huffs and puffs fake complaints, she teases and jokes, and she’s loud enough to cover the awkward silence that so often settles around them all.

She feels just a little abandoned, and isn't quite sure by whom. By Foxy, or Bonnie? For dying? By Freddy? For grieving? By Roxy and Monty, for not even trying to get as close as she hoped? By Fez itself, for reminding her that everything is temporary, and that their work is dangerous, and not doing more to protect them all? But no, that last thought is dangerous - the seed of doubt is there, after Foxy and Bonnie both started doubting, and look at what happened… She’s smart, smarter than people may think, and she’s terrified of the thought that the agency she has dedicated most of her life to would kill her or her friends so quickly just for being inconvenient.

Most of the time, she’s glad to have “one of those faces”, and a chipper attitude that makes people want to talk to her, underestimate her, and give her aaallll the information she wants. But when she starts feeling isolated by circumstances, with Freddy’s mind too clouded by grief and guilt, and the newbies remaining distant, there are suddenly many scary realizations just waiting to be had, and she can feel them creep closer with a dreadful finality. All she ever wanted was for her family to be okay, and happy, but it seems so unattainable when she struggles to stop everything from tearing at the seams. She pretends she’s fine just to act as the glue keeping them all together, too scared of losing them, too, even if it’s not the happiness she had before.

Her disposition makes her more inclined to accept missions for intelligence collection

Monty: Code Name: Nine Iron (Chica uses any golf term arbitrarily)

Technically, a little older than Roxy, but worked as a normal agent for a while. He quickly showed potential, despite some anger issues that made him decline many polite and formal undercover missions. Loud and energetic as he is, he sells himself as a dumb brute a lot, but hides a keen mind. He’s just not the most patient person, and he knows it - but when he was recommended for a team-up with a Glamrock he didn’t dare question it either.

And then the mission went sideways, Bonnie disappeared (which Fez seemed all too eager to label as destruction after minimal evidence), and Monty was briefly investigated before being cleared. A little while after, when he was offered to join the Glamrocks, he did end up questioning it - why replace the guy so quickly, and with him of all people, who couldn’t even help Bonnie out? That’s just a bit too good to be true - it’s fishy.

Fez calmly explains the facts, and they don’t look good for Monty. A rising star on his best way to become a great agent, but with violent outbursts that have left the clean up a mess many times before. A Glamrock, meant to mellow him out on a difficult mission, and no witnesses to his destruction, with very little evidence. Monty can shut his mouth and take the job and thus the benefits it comes with, or at any point they can reopen the investigation and he won’t like what they’ll find.

He takes the job. But in turn, he’s very quickly disillusioned with Abra Fez as an agency, and only the threat hanging over him keeps him from spilling it all. Sometimes fights with the others about things Fez wants them to do, which they think is because of his little anger issues, and he lets them believe it. Any suspicion the others may have harbored however he quickly dissolves, simply because of the subdued condolences he shares the first time he joins their ranks. They’re all welcoming, and include him in their off the clock hang outs when those do happen, but his lack of faith in Fez makes him feel like an outsider anyway.

But after years of the other shoe never dropping, he does his best to push it all away and just be a part of the group. If he can’t believe in management, he can believe in the people who stuck out their necks to help him so many times before, and he’ll do the same right back - he couldn’t help Bonnie, and he’s feeling so very guilty for his unknowing complicity in his disappearance, but he can make sure none of his friends suffer the same fate.

(Besides, he’s aware of the fact that he’d be the first Fez would silence)

His disposition makes him more inclined to accept stealth missions, and/ or missions with anticipated enemy contact

But then, enter a little menace:

Gregory: no official code name, but when he declared he wanted one, Roxy offhandedly called him Arsonist. Freddy in the background gasped as if personally offended, which Chica took as a prompt to amend “in Training!” - Freddy’s reaction was to cry out a “No!” much like the “Show me what you have” “A knife!” vine, while Monty started losing his shit. Roxy slipped the kid a lighter while Freddy was busy telling Chica that “in Training” does not make it better. Freddy personally calls him Superstar, after Gregory commented that “Glamrocks” sounds more like a band than a team of secret agents. The kid loves it, soothing even the sourest of moods into quiet grumbles.

Doesn’t talk much about the time before Freddy found him - where his parents are, why he was living on the streets, and why he was so insistent to go with the guy who had just started a fire.

It also wasn’t exactly a matter of being found. Gold was on a mission to destroy a particular batch of evidence and prevent the company in question from making headway, so he figured to kill two birds with one stone and simply set the building in question on fire. Easy job, he thought. Not a residential area, and with extensive research on work schedules, there shouldn’t be any casualties - except someone started throwing rocks at him while yelling, and ruthless as he is he would never hurt a child.

Even though said child turns out extremely feral, and barely stops berating him for burning down the warehouse with the laxest security, where’s a kid supposed to sleep now, huh? His things were in there, asshole!

Gold, close to tears he can’t shed, feels incredibly guilty and apologizes throughout carrying Gregory away from the fast burning crime scene. Lil tot keeps hitting him, though. Gold quickly finds out the kid stonewalls at everything except his own name, won’t even say what was in the warehouse that was so important to him. For a while Gold just stares at the kid, contemplating how to continue - he can’t just leave him there, but he can’t expect Gregory to go with a stranger, and his life is dangerous -

“So, where are you going now?”

Entirely too nonchalant, but when Gold does not react as intended (i.e. with a direct answer), the kid huffs and crosses his arms. Boldly declares he’ll stick with - uhh, what’s his name, actually?

Freddy introduces himself through a slip up, and immediately freezes. Gregory grins the smuggest of grins. So if Freddy doesn’t let him tag along, there’s a lot of information he has that many people would be very interested in - namely the police and the company in question. Kid has been living on the streets for long enough to know a sucker, and Freddy is a big one.

The other Glamrocks were a bit wary of the kid first, but not entirely surprised that a feral stray decided to bully Freddy into adopting him. They’re all unfazed through their circumstances, and so when going through missing child reports does not yield any matches, Gregory gets a new faked identity (though various last names had to be rejected - RIP Gregory Fartmaster, you were never meant to be) and gets officially (but technically, very illegally) adopted by Freddy.

He calls Freddy both by his name and Dad, though he’s a little bashful about the latter. Freddy wants to melt every time. Both end up an emotional mess and don’t address it until the next time it happens. Monty is a very cool uncle, but fumbles a lot - especially when Gregory asks about the unholy amount of bent golf clubs Monty owns. He takes the kid to minigolf just so he’d stop asking, which Gregory promptly starts exploiting. Roxy starts out very aloof - but Gregs is very persistent, and quickly figures out how to get her talking. So she can see through walls? So cool! What’s the weirdest thing she’s seen? The grossest? Can she look through that wall right there? What’s on the other side? Roxy is unfortunately not immune to childlike wonder and admiration, and gives in quickly. Chica doesn’t even need to be convinced! She’s quickly very affectionate (lord knows she’s aware that Freddy needed a win - needed to not feel like he failed someone again), and a little too enabling for Freddy’s taste. A little trip to grab some fast food is always on the table, and she very seriously asks him about fashion advice sometimes, so he can feel included. His advice objectively sucks (for formal events), but once she wore hot wheels earrings for him and he’s been riding that high ever since.

Since Freddy found Gregory and thus, has a little human to take care of, he has lightened up considerably again. The novelty of everything keeps him on his toes, and seeing the positive impact he has on Gregory/ the safe home he can give the kid has helped him heal. He still misses his friends, but he has someone to take care of at home, and so he no longer works himself into the ground. The future is once again looking bright, despite the pain of the past, and he’s eager to explore it.

Roxy gets to bask in the admiration of someone who has never known Foxy, and in whose eyes she’s her own person and that person is great, even if some compliments just lead to sly requests of checking gifts for their content before it’s time to unwrap them.

Chica gets to see her oldest friend become himself again, and feels a lot lighter herself in turn. Gregory has no issue keeping up with her energy, and where their interests don’t match up, their sense for shenanigans does and they both enjoy that immensely.

Monty has little time to ponder the past when there’s a menace making a mess of the present, but he doesn’t find it in himself to complain, even if the kid tests his limited patience a lot. He likes being the fun uncle a lot more than being a fraud, and so he embraces it.

(And so, Gregory is starting to acquire parental units)

He does know that their work is secret, though, and has the official explanation of what to say when people ask what his father does for work memorized. After [REDACTED] on the street, he’s smart enough to keep secrets, and only complains when secrets are kept from him. He likes being in the know, and really, with how involved he is, doesn’t he deserve to know? One day he’ll say the wrong thing to the wrong person, all because no one clued him in…

That would be a tragedy, no? (:

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