#I also have a few complete fics too
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I need to write at least a few more chapters of my Chainsaw Man fanfic and firmly establish the unstated assumptions in its premise before the manga completely invalidates all those assumptions. But I also don't want to completely abandon that fun new crossover after one chapter. But I also need to finish that other fic I started a couple years ago and hit writer's block on. But I also have a bunch of Worm fanfic ideas that I want to write, and a couple original stories, and—oh yeah, I have things I want to do other than write, and things I need to do unrelated to either of those things.
#time management#fanfiction#if for some reason you're interested in reading my incomplete fanfics my AO3 handle is also GreatWyrmGold#I also have a few complete fics too
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Apologies to Fernsnailz- here's the MLA citations for all my fics that are Omega Propaganda
Generic-Sonic-Fan. “My Soul to Keep.” Tumblr, 1 Mar. 2023, www.tumblr.com/generic-sonic-fan/710621049217286144/my-soul-to-keep?source=share.
Generic-Sonic-Fan. “5 Times Omega Denied That He Cared + the 1 time he admitted it.” Tumblr, 5 June 2023, www.tumblr.com/generic-sonic-fan/719260766483759104/5-times-omega-denied-that-he-cared-the-1-time-he?source=share.
Generic-Sonic-Fan. "Residual Orders." Tumblr, 3 July 2023, https://www.tumblr.com/generic-sonic-fan/721851263896174592/residual-orders?source=share
Generic-Sonic-Fan. "I Can't Accept All This." Tumblr, 9 April 2023, https://www.tumblr.com/generic-sonic-fan/714139779043835904/collapse?source=share
Generic-Sonic-Fan. "It Won't Scar." Tumblr, 25 May 2023, https://www.tumblr.com/generic-sonic-fan/718332215109582848/it-wont-scar?source=share
Generic-Sonic-Fan. "Debugging." Tumblr, 4 May 2023, https://www.tumblr.com/generic-sonic-fan/716428317176250368/debugging?source=share
Generic-Sonic-Fan. "Self-Indulgent Omega Interpretation." Tumblr, 2 March 2023, https://www.tumblr.com/generic-sonic-fan/710720974241316864/you-should-share-some-of-your-favorite-headcanons?source=share
@fernsnailz
#Fernsnailz asked for MLA citations on propaganda pieces that weren't visual#so here you are!#all of the fics I've written over the past year that are implicitly begging people to treat Omega as a character#I'm not gonna lie- most of my love for Omega was initially inspired by Fern's comics including him#Fern is one of the few artists/writers I trust completely with Omega!!#also Fern if you actually see this- you don't have to count every one of these as thirty points lol I know that'd be waaay too excessive#I just needed to show my team spirit
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I love your mimic Steve, like my brain stays awake just rotating it in my brain that's how good
I DO HAVE MORE MIMIC STEVE but alas he's on the backburner lol.
Once the BB is over and Cousin Gareth's final fourth piece is posted Mimic Steve will come back into rotation (I say....staring at Illustrated's massive and still unpublished fifth chapter) thought I will leave you with a bit that got rejected from the first round:
"I can do something here that can help us. But I need you to let me do it." Steve said, and it took everything he had to keep his voice steady.
"You're afraid." El identified. "Of me. You are afraid of me, because of what I am."
"Not what you are, El." Steve corrected softly. "Because of what I am. And what you were trained to do, to things like me."
El frowned hard at that, and Steve doesn't want to clue her in, lest her instincts get the better of her.
He doesn't exactly have a choice though, because it's either speak now or forever hold his peace, the latter of which could very well end with all of them six feet under ground
“I need you to think of all the things I have done for you and for the party and I need you to let me live long enough to be a distraction." He started. You can kill me after, Eleven, but let me try and save everyone first."
"No one is killing any one." Hopper snarled.
"I can't stop her anymore than you can, Hop." Steve said, shaking.
Then he raised his arm and let his ability flit to the surface, rolling along his arm in a show of his power.
He knows El understood when her eyes shoot to the size of dinner plates, her body instinctively jerking to get away.
She has more control than he does, because she manages to remain in place. He on the other hand, found himself several inches away from her.
"Steve is a monster." She whispered, as if unable to believe it.
Given the looks he's getting from the rest of the party, Steve doesn't think anyone else believes it either.
But they will.
#mimic steve#I sadly have too many fics goin lol#I tend to have ideas and then die in the middle of them its very annoying#current list goes#BB fic#Cousin Gary#Adopt a Jock is even with Beat to Shit Steve Harrington/ Small Town Rumors on grounds that theyre next chapters are at similar spots#illustrated is.....somewhere in there LOL#and then I have a few oneshots that I refuse to release uncomplete#THEY WILL BE COMPLETE DAMMIT#but also ty#seriously#Im so glad people liked mimic steve
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I'm moody and grumpy and sick so I'm going to be a freak about writing for a bit.
I fucking love writing PEOPLE. like as a whole. I love writing little imperfect messy living moments. People aren't perfect. Never will be. Never SHOULD be. And I fucking LOVE writing that. Even the "unnecessary details" feel necessary to me because they're HUMAN.
Spilling food on yourself. Getting food stuck in your teeth and maybe making funny faces while you're trying to get it out. Mentioning a silly moment from their youth in teasing. A disagreement. Putting on clothes and getting your arm stuck in your sleeve at first. "Ugly laughter". Losing your train of thought and saying nonsense while snapping fingers to try and get your thoughts back. Hugging someone taller than you and maybe having to change how you stand to fit together. Accidentally stepping on someone's foot. Bedhead, fixing someone's clothes, double chins, clumsy moments, Shifting, fidgeting, having someone mimic another's voice to make someone laugh, LIVING THINGS lksjdf ldskjf THINGS THAT MAKE US HUMAN!!!
And like?? A small thing, as I said I love just writing PEOPLE. But I see posts sometimes about how people "have a hard time writing women" and I'm just sitting here like??? "She's a person?? You've met another person before, right? Write the same way." and just get boggled and even, I don't know, disappointed? Even if she's not part of the main "cast" have her be, idk human?? Not just cardboard you know?? Don't "girlboss" her but also just?? simply have her have life!
Or then I've seen people literally admit "Well with canon there's not much to work with the women" WELL THEN MAKE STUFF UP!!! Use your big brain and have headcanons for her! See the potential she already has and fly with it!!! :D
How many times has she spilled food on her clothes and groaned because it's her favorite? How many times has she had snarled hair? She's probably had something in her eye at some point. She's probably tripped and skinned her knee once or twice. Does she swear? How would she react in this situation?
And sometimes I'll see people use history as an excuse or whatever but like??? Even IF systematically women weren't treated well, that wasn't the rule for ALL. For example, in the USA, Women usually couldn't go out in public in pants during certain periods. Yet I have photos of family from the 1930s where there are women in pants. Little girls and their mothers literally using a two-person saw and on the farm in pants. Just because the system is sexist doesn't mean that men in women's lives always enforce it. Just like nowadays. Reproductive rights. That's systematic. Daily life? I feel plenty safe with a lot of regular ass dudes. SAME BACK THEN MOST LIKELY!!!
Idk y'all. I'm just... disappointed by how many times I come across this type of stuff :/
#I wrote this a while ago but I saw another post about how it's hard to write women and I'm mad.#I'm sick as well so yeah. woe be upon ye#It's... just...SO important to me that I write women as more than just a “caregiver” role you know?#If she IS a mother and wife and that's ALL you have her doing??? I'm MAD#I've seen that WAY too often >:( I'm writing a sickfic right now. and it made me realize how few fics have the MEN taking care of women#it's not bad!!! It's just something I've noticed. adn it makes me sad. just a lil bit.#Mad rambles#rant#vent#sldkfj dskf#it's funny because I'm literally like. “What are her goals?” get it all down and it's a bunch of stuff. His goals? “WIFE”.#I'm joking but you know#I didn't bring up gnc folks because that's a completely different discussion. Still important but I'm venting about a specific#post. >:(#also I'm sleepy and being crabby. Please forgive me
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I live! And I'm writing a fic
Hello, everyone! :) I've re-started the process of moving this blog over to a side blog (@darkeneddawning) when I have time. End goal is to have all my art and stuff from here over there, so my main blog (this one) can be used for everything. The side blog will be where I post new phandom art and stuff.
Hopefully the transfer isn't too confusing for everyone. If you want to follow me to see my phandom art and stuff, you might want to wait until my side blog is all caught up, or you'll be spammed with me reblogging all of my old art over there for the next while. I'll announce on this blog when it's done and wait at least a week so people have time to unfollow this blog if they don't want my reblogs of everything I like to clutter up their dashes.
But I'm too impatient to wait until I'm done with that before I start posting again, so here's a blurb from the DP x DC Circus Gothica crossover fic I'm writing! It's going to be a while before I can post it since I've got a lot going on and I'm a very slow writer so far, but I'm hoping posting about it will keep me motivated to continue working on it :)
It's not a very long blurb, but I'll put it under a read more anyway (along with a synopsis of the fic):
Fic synopsis:
Wait, but if I’m mind controlled, and you’re mind controlled, then who’s catching the evil ringmaster??
Jason wasn’t expecting to join the suspicious circus he was investigating on Dick’s behalf, but a day in found him planning a heist with his new posse of co-slaves. At least getting in on the action gave him the answers he was looking for, as well as some others to questions he’d forgotten he was still asking.
Or: A new circus rolls into Bludhaven, trailing a history of too many pilfered towns to be a coincidence. Dick asks Jason to look into it on account of Dick’s circus related trauma. Jason was expecting to find evidence, not a one-way ticket to minion town, or a mysterious boy who somehow calmed the insatiable waters of the pit. Who is this boy, and what can he teach Jason about himself?
----
Though he felt compelled to come, he didn’t know what was wanted of him now that he was here.
“This area is off limits to guests. Can I help you?”
That reaper kid from the performance, head attached, was looking at Jason with a raised brow. The same Red color that was swirling around Jason’s brain occupied the kid’s irises. Now he was up close, Jason could see how the kid’s stage eyeliner was only a slight enhancement to the genuine dark circles under his eyes. With those in addition to the gaunt hollowness of his cheeks, the kid looked like he hadn’t slept in years.
Jason smiled. It wasn’t a natural smile, but the Red liked it. “I’m here to, uh… cross over to the dark side?” That was all the Red was giving him to work with.
Reaper kid squinted at him, then drew back in surprise. “Woah, I totally thought you were human. Is that a disguise?” he asked, walking up to Jason.
“Disguise?” Jason glanced down at his body like it would clue him in to what reaper kid was talking about. He looked plenty human to himself. “What else would I be?” Was this important to the Red’s mission? Red was starting to feel a little more impatient.
“Uh, you know,” the kid gave a dismissive hand wave, but clarified: “Dead?”
#danny phantom#dp x dc#circus gothica#danny fenton#jason todd#I'm still hammering out the details but I have the main plot figured out#it specifies that danny's head is attached bc it comes off as part of the show#most of my batfam knowledge comes from dp x dc fics so hopefully I don't egregiously mischaracterize them#also are there specific tags the phandom uses for stuff like this that anyone would want me to use in the future?#bc I know I used to stay caught up on my favorite tags in the day and proper tagging/categorization is something I appreciated from others#I still don't want to post on this blog too much before the transfer is complete since I don't want to make the transition too confusing#this blog has gained a few new followers recently (that aren't spam bots) and I worry that the move is going to be annoying for people#honestly I shouldn't post this bc it probably is going to make the move messier if I do#but I really want to get back into participating instead of just lurking#and hinging participation on an intimidating obstacle has prevented me from doing anything for too long#I literally stopped posting on tumblr all that time ago bc I couldn't find a solution to how I couldn't reblog posts to a side blog easily#I tried over and over to figure out a way to reassign which blog was my main#I tried using a side blog as my everything blog and it was not doable for me#I've never seen anyone else make a transition like this so it's kind of embarrassing#but it's still the best solution I've come up with so please bear with me
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So I've written the first part of a short Anakin & Padmé fanfic. As a bit of an A/N I feel I should state that I have a deep dislike for how in most fanfics I read about this pair, either they don't like each other, or she treats him like a kid and has a very condescending or maternal/older person tone with him, or they make it about other characters, i.e. Ahsoka or Obi-Wan.
So this is just a little thing I did for myself, where they're just a cute young couple of 20-something-year-olds who are crazy in love with each other. I thought some of you might enjoy it.
Sweet Nothing
Chapter One: Morning
It was early morning, but Anakin was already awake. He wasn’t one for oversleeping and he liked the feeling of a brand-new day, especially if his night hadn’t been plagued by worry, or dreams. Mostly, he loved waking up before she did. He never took it for granted, opening his eyes after the first ray of sunshine had crept through the window, and seeing Padmé lying next to him, breathing slowly with a soft smile playing at the corners of her lips.
She changed every time they came to Naboo together. It was as if Senator Amidala was another role for her to play, just as Queen Amidala had been, an act she did everywhere she went, with everyone she went with. For the most part. Anakin knew he was the only one she could be “just Padmé” with. She was still strong, and fierce, brave and intelligent, just as she was when she carried out her duties, but with him she wasn’t a Queen, or a Senator… she was a girl. He felt the same way about himself when he was with her. He suddenly wasn’t the Chosen One, or a Jedi, or anything else but the boy he never was really allowed to be. Together, they were young and, perhaps, foolish. But they were freer than they ever had been.
She moved, still in her dreams, to lay on her side, her face so that, if she opened her eyes, she’d be staring directly into his own. One of her brown curls covered part of her face, and Anakin raised his flesh hand to move it away, so carefully that anyone seeing it might have thought he was afraid she would shatter if he touched her too soon. Once that was done, he stared, marvelling at her soft features, and thinking to himself that he hadn’t been wrong when he’d asked her, so many years before, if she was an angel.
Padmé slowly blinked, not accustomed to the light, and smiled warmly when she recognised him. She hid part of her face against the pillow, flustered.
“Good morning” she greeted him; her voice muffled.
Anakin laughed softly and kissed her on the forehead. “Good morning to you too”. He knew she was staring at him intently, just as he had with her mere seconds before, as if she was soaking him in.
“You know,” she said, moving to properly look at him. “You look really handsome this morning.”
“I thought I always did.”
Padmé wrinkled her nose, in such a playful manner that made Anakin want to kiss her and…
“Well, that’s true. But more than usual.”
Anakin came closer, first placing a kiss on her hair, then her forehead, then her nose, and, just when he was close enough to kiss her lips, he stopped midway. “How so?”
She tried coming nearer, but he backed away with a cheeky smile. Padmé huffed, a feigned frustration in her eyes. She raised a hand to Anakin’s face, and traced the lines of his cheekbone and jaw with one finger. “You look happier than usual.”
Anakin looked up, pretending to be deep in thought. “That’s because I am.” He finally relented and came close enough to her that Padmé could lean in and kiss him. Her lips were soft, and he wondered if anyone could ever feel for someone like he did for her. He figured not. “It’s no short of a miracle to wake up next to you.” He said, breaking the kiss. “I don’t know what I’d do with myself if I couldn’t do this.”
Padmé smiled, her cheeks becoming bright red, and looking down before raising her eyes to meet his. “You make it sound as if you’re the only lucky one.”
Anakin raised an eyebrow. “I’m not?”
She kissed him again, this time more passionately than before. He wrapped her in his arms, her soft nightgown flowing underneath, as she put her arms around his neck, her fingers playing with his dark blond curls.
“No, you idiot.” She replied, out of breath. She bumped his nose with her own, smiling cheerfully. “I’m pretty lucky myself. You should have that in mind.”
He chuckled, placing his hands so that he was cupping her face. “I’ll try my best to remember.”
After another short kiss, Padmé stood up, suddenly energetic, and jumped out of the bed. “I’ve been thinking” she said, as she swiftly braided her long hair, “we could do something fun today.”
Anakin stared at her from the bed, a big smile on his face. “Fun? I thought that’s what we’ve been having these past few days.” His smile crooked, suddenly becoming mischievous. “Personally, I thought last night was more than fun.”
Padmé smirked and threw a small cushion at him, that he managed to dodge easily. “I meant actually going out, Anakin.” She walked through the room and opened the drawers. “Have you ever been to the summer solstice celebration in Varykino?”
Anakin passed a hand through his hair, putting it in its place. “I think you know I haven’t.”
“Yes, I do know.” She nodded, placing her hands on her hips. “Which is why I think we should go.”
He arched an eyebrow. “That does sound…entertaining.” He paused for a second. “My love, have you perhaps forgotten it’s a rather public endeavour?”
“I haven’t” she replied, shrugging. “No one will mind, Ani. This isn’t Coruscant. We just need to make sure we blend in with everyone else.”
He laughed a hearty laugh. “Well, that might be easier for some than for others.”
Padmé had been looking over her many dresses, but stopped mid-action when she heard her husband. She looked over at him. “Yeah, alright, fine.” She said, “So what if I occasionally take my clothing seriously? I can adapt!”
“Can you, really?” Anakin said, laughing as he stood up and walked to her. Suddenly she seemed so little, compared to his tall frame, but his height – and force sensitivity—weren’t that helpful in protecting him from her smacking him softly in the stomach. “Well,” he added, “Let’s accept that, for the sake of the argument, you can adapt your clothing choices. The real question, rather, is whether or not you could keep your hands off me there.”
Padmé looked him up and down, playing with her braided hair. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” she stood on her tiptoes, and placed a soft kiss on his jaw, mere centimeters away from his chin. “I guess you’ll just have to wait and see, Jedi.”
He bent to kiss her on her neck, closing his eyes as he inhaled her scent. "I thought we'd agreed not to talk about work, Senator."
She closed her eyes and placed a hand on his head as he pressed his lips right on her skin. "You're right. My deepest apologies. I... I don't know how I could forget." He raised his head and they pressed their foreheads together. "The truth is, Ani, I become slightly lightheaded and forgetful when I'm with you."
He smiled. "Well then, my love, I'll help you remember."
Padmé mirrored his gesture. "I bet you will."
#anidala#anakin skywalker#padme amidala#skyberrie#fanfic#my fics#also i REFUSE to fall to that thing ppl do in anidala fanfics where anakin keeps calling padme 'angel'#like. no. i'm sorry. he's never used that as a nickname for her#i'm a bit radical about that lmao#he calls her either padme or my love and i think that's neat#i have to admit there was one time where i thought *she* could call him babe#but then i hesitated and I didn't#anyways.#enjoy lmao#i have a couple more ideas for this so i'll add to it#its going to be a few short stories about them in Naboo having fun in the solstice celebration. nothing too crazy#also. padme is a weird feral 20 something yo girl and that's how she's in this#i refuse to see her any other way#he's completely batshit crazy but so is she
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Not to be sappy on main but Alexa what are you supposed to do when the boy you've been deeply madly crazily in love with for 3+ years starts giving hints(or maybe im just looking too much into it) that he maybe probably likes you too??????
#listen im so madly in love with this idiot in my class who was also my best friend for like almost 2 years before covid hit#we somehow completely lost touch during the lockdown and I have neverissed someone more in my entire life#the almost 2 years at home also made me realise how much I love with him#after the lock down finally ended I found out that he's moved to another fucking CITY#the universe seems to like me because we started texting again a few months ago#and now he keeps doing some thing that make me think that he has feelings for me and I dont know what to do about it#I legit feel like im living like a 100 chapter slow burn fic (possibly one-sided??)#and its fucking frustrating#I know this is all a little too personal but I have been keeping it in for way too long and need to get it off my chest a little#byler#not byler related at all but I just love you guys way too much#vent#there are way too many typos in the tags but im way too tired to fix them
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once again regretting that my drawing skills are Not Good (and also i'm in the middle of my midterms but honestly who cares) because i really need to bring to life my sweet little idea of re zero alternative ending where subaru gets trhown back in his world and he is near that goddamn store and emilia still in re zero world in the castle or something and yes i am imagining redrawing That Scene from doomsday from doctor who
#re zero#like i actually started watching dw a few years ago#still stuck on season 3 to be completely honestly i miss ninth way too much#and ever since i saw That Scene this idea has been on my mind#and it's one of Those Ideas where you realise it's kinda Not The Same if you put it in fanfic#also i have one idea for re zero fic that was inspired by one dw episode but that's for really reallyyyyyy abstract later#so uhhhhhhhhhh. uhhhhhhhhh.
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only 6 more days for 12th grade to officially finish and my exams to be over. perhaps jaeyunverse comeback with a long fic ????? 😳
#first order of business will be to finish that damn jeno fic#then i will work on one of the valentine’s event fics who’s masterlist i posted Last Year 💀#i will prob make a poll for that bc idk which one to write 😭 i have 4k for the heeseung one but i’m STUCK#i have 4k for the halloween special fic i started in 2021 ummmmm maybe i’ll buckle down on it too#THE ALICE IN BORDERLAND AU???? i have the entire plot but it is going to be So Long i just know it.#i hope i can finish my current wips before any other long fic ideas come to me 😭#i have to finish the stupid headcanon series too what was i thinking when i started it#IM TERRIBLE AT HEADCANONS#fffff i only have a few weeks of peace after boards 😭 i have to start grinding for my other exam in june once april starts#i hope i can be more active on this account and actually get some writing done bc ngl i have sm plans for the small vacation i’m getting#but i wanna be delusional too 🫡#also i have so many unfinished projects here sometimes i feel like abandoning this account completely#and this place is lowkey dead in terms of activity ngl 💀 i will have try to revive it#but then i remember that i put effort into building this blog so seeing it go to waste would be sad#plus i Really do not want to repost my fics for a third time ppl will call me crazy
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Tbh? I still feel so out of my depth whenever I try to write Bill. For whatever reason it doesn't come naturally to me like writing Ford does. Every time one of y'all has thoughts on Bill's characterization or writes something Bill-centric I'm mentally taking so many notes
#godsrambles#im in that weird inbetween of knowing when his characterization Feels Right but not knowing how to write him so it feels right#its like that stage in art where your eye for good composition and colors and anatomy improves but you dont know how to actually apply it#what i should do is write some short scenes where he interacts with other people#because most of the fics I've written are 100% his internal thoughts when he is completely alone#which is way easier. takes away at least a few of the layers youd usually have to keep track of with this goddamn guy#the only one i can think of that had bill actually talking to someone else is parhelion. and i KNOW i slightly mischaracterized him in that#made him a lil too Smooth. made his manipulative front a lil too gentle and kind and patient#but since its from fords Very Reverent Rose Tinted Glasses perspective i dont think its that big a deal#and also the more i lean into him Seeming Perfect To Ford the more sinister it is to read with the knowledge of what happens later#which is. so much fun. and im so normal about it#but i still do want to get better at writing him interacting with others#ironically one issue that seems to come up is me being like 'whenever he talks to people they always respond exactly how he expects them to#like subconsicously. in the form of 'they get tricked successfully' or 'they are annoyed and bothered to the extent he was going for'#tfw you cant write a character bc you accidentally have the same innaccurate thought process as him#tags essay#TBH writing him as Too good at manipulation in parhelion is also billcore.#'this is how it happened right. im soooo good at trickery good job me'#if you count 'tricking yourself' then yeah bill youre the best at trickery there ever was
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still sick but alive, unfortunately 🤧
#last morning when i got up i wasn't at all sure i'd live to see the release of deadzone lol#since then i've been able to walk and stand up somewhat normally without wanting to cry and/or die#last night i slept more than the two previous nights combined. which still isn't that much but at least i did sleep#i did also wake up so completely drenched in my own sweat (from mild fever going down after i had taken a painkiller for a headache)-#-that i had to get up and dry myself with a towel 😂#and there was a huge wet spot (of sweat) on my bed where i had lied 🙂#i have lost three fourths of my vocal range so i can't e.g. laugh#(not that i've had a whole lot to giggle about these past few days 💀)#i'm bummed out i can't do preparations for my new job#i definitely should've started earlier but i would've had plenty of time this week had i not caught the cold at the stupid festival 🤧#i did not plan this! besides i'm not gonna start working weeks ahead for a job i'm not even getting paid for yet#for the same reason no one can expect me to work while sick for a job i haven't gotten a single penny from#hell even if i WAS paid no one could expecte me to work while sick#so i shouldn't feel guilty for wanting to work on my fic instead of the course plans#which btw i already sort of have because my predecessors gave me practically ALL the material i might need#so all i reallly need to do is change the dates of the course plans and bob's your uncle#but i'd like to also study the material a bit before teaching it so that i'll at least seem like i know what i'm talking about 💀#mom said on the phone that i've managed situations like this before so i will manage this too and she's right i guess but 😭😭😭#but yeah i guess this is some sort of developement from last year when i had the 'rona-#-and felt awful about ordering food/groceries in because ''i don't want to be a bother'' 😂
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started writing for a request (it has been so long since) &... it is only 1/4 written but it's already 2k words. i should be happy though. i wanted to write longer stories. is this how i break the 1k-2k word limit i've had when it came to my works???
i also had a friend look through my xingqiu fic and yeah, that fic really deserves to be a series of its own. however, i learned a few things about xingqiu's personality and will need to tweak it: perhaps it doesn't need to be a long series anymore! HAHAH
#with irony.#ok so like. i reevaluated what reading is to x.ingqiu and like. a few details completely flew over my head#so with these details in mind now i have to tweak the au#and i'm quite excited#but i wanted to keep the og idea since it can be expanded into a series#but like. i thought about it and that's not /x.ingqiu/ in the story idk#anyways i wrote for the request bc i was like “i need a break from this fic” and now i'm too deep in this request to write for x.ingqiu LOL#OK but like also. can i just say that the theme of this story is slightly heavier so i guess i want to approach it properly#watch this story for k.aveh also be ooc asdfsdfs
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not trying to be mean but honestly any sentiment that's like "[non-Traditional form/genre of literature*] raised my bar for queer representation so much I can't ever return to Published Books because it's all bad straight stuff/straight people writing queerness/etc" is kind of distasteful to me now. they're there. there's literally plenty** out there now if you just look.
[edit: I want to clarify that I don't think published books are inherently better than any other forms of literature and that I'm not trying to say people should always aspire to have a media diet of only 100% Published Literature (the assumptions inherent in which create a false dichotomy anyway bc plenty of published queer books I've read are fun romps whose themes are incidental to the main goal of being fun)
I just dislike the sentiment I've seen around that mainstream queer stuff is either just subtext or written Inauthentically because it's just. untrue. and it cedes ground to queerphobic people saying the only ground queer stories can occupy is artless smut/popcorn trash with no meaning (which isn't a bad thing to be in and of itself, but it's hardly like queerness can't be artistic)]
The Darkness Outside Us came out last year. Ophelia After All came out this year. The Honeys came out this year. the second book of Burning Kingdoms came out this year. Zachary Ying came out this year. Delilah Green came out this year. This is Why They Hate Us came out this year. And that's just the few on my 'anticipated of 2022' GR shelf (+ The Darkness Outside Us because goddamn that book was good).
it's completely fine to be dissatisfied with how the publishing industry (/mainstream media but I'm mostly read so) is! I also have many gripes with it! but it just feels distasteful to demean Published Books on the whole as if it (/other mainstream media but again see above) is a monolith and diminish the the very queer queer books by queer - gender and sexuality - authors (Ocean Vuong, Akwaeke Emezi, Victoria Lee, CB Lee, Ashley Herring Blake, Shaun David Hutchinson, need I go on?)
it's mostly a massive pet peeve of mine but it just feels kinda. lazy? obviously if something like this's post date was like 2010 or if it was a situation where access not awareness is the problem etc that's a different situation but like. most of the posts/tweets/etc I've seen of this are recent and most of them have the tone of "it's perfectly safe for me to read/watch queer media I just couldn't find any" which
I really started reading queer books in 2020ish. I googled 'queer fantasy' (because I like fantasy) and found a bunch of different booklists, took a few recs and just started there. I found lgbtqreads. I followed a few queer folks on GR (once you look through a certain type of books' reviews a few common names start popping up) and noted down the books they were reading and now I have a bunch of queer books that I need to get around to.
I just. if you're into books there's plenty of queer books literally right there (and recently enough big publishers have started publishing them that they're appearing in libraries too). it's not a dichotomy. you don't have to read Published Books if you don't want to but it's not all straight there goddammit. and this isn't even bringing up self-published books
#*fanfic，d/nmei (chinese bl) etc#<- to avoid maintagging#**still not a lot on a percentage basis of total books published (aside from self pub) yeah publishing industry bad but still plenty#in general I dislike the idea that any category of media is inherently anything#also the phrase 'd/nmei raised the bar for queer stories for me' is a bit funny to me bc. these are webnovels. most of them 80+ chapters#and like from what I've seen most of them are either 100ish or 300ish chapters#I don't think they've really gotten popular until recently either too so I doubt most folks have fully read more than two lol#imagine if I watched bloom into you and said 'anime changed queer stories for me' lol#the specific post I saw that got me to put this into words was this one post on the d/nmei subreddit about how reading western quote 'BL'#feels off compared to d/nmei bc they felt like badly written wattpad fics and unrealistic wrt queerness which I was side-eyeing pretty hard#eh it bothered me for a few reasons. some of them I think are fair - the ones I made this post for#some of them I'm not sure is fair which is why they're in the tags#specifically that the specific post reminded me of the stereotype of the straight girl completely uninterested in the messiness and#complexities of queerness or exploring queerness at all (unless it's aestheticised suffering) and just wants to see pretty boys together#but I'm not sure how fair that is because I'm not transmasc and I'm not mlm lol#anyway yea lol#my rambles#queer stuff#media#10n
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remember when i used to never read aus and then i read one and now i only read aus
#it was probably me changing fandoms honestly#the wof fandom mostly had fics that were completely outside of the main series#with the main protags mentioned in an of hand remark or sometimes set 1000 years in the future/past#and in the dsmp#most of the fics are aus#in wof i loved the world#the characters are just devices to tell the story#very few of them have depth#and in dsmp its the opposite#i love the characters#the people#the world is just where they live#probably also has something to do with how the stories are told also#wof is just a childrens book series#in dsmp you could see real people#their emotions#it wasnt just the characters you could enjoy#it was the people playing them too#yk what i mean?
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hm. okay someone said something on twitter that got me thinking. okay i am very firmly a yoohan truther supporter lover all that stuff. and i think there are many situations in which they can be and will be together in some shape or form, without kdj. coming to mind instantly are the three year gap, 1865th round, and 1863rd round. prime yoohan material. but at the same time i think these situations are sort of haunted by kdjs absence, and/or really set up to fail. yoohan are people who work well together in achieving a shared goal, for better or for worse. like with 1863 - which would have the least amount of kdj influence - they are pretty much on a path of mutual destruction, hastened by one another. all of these situations, in which theyre working together for some reason or another, it never feels like they can bridge in to anything really vulnerable, you know? i love yoohan on its own, and i do think they can get shit done on their own, but at the same time, kdj coheres them in a way i dont think they can really achieve without him being there. do these words strung together like this make any sort of sense.
#throwing spaghetti on the wall. the haunting specter of kdj can he LEAVE?#thinking abt 1863 yh is like. ohhh they are the worst. i have stuff half written and itd end w hsy clutching yjhs shirt like.#let me just more or less copy paste it in the tags hold on#'I asked the Outer God‚' she snarls‚ clutching hi shirt. 'I asked him‚ 'Does YJH want to die?' He said yes‚ yes you do. But everyone with#half a fucking brain knows not to trust an outer god not to rip happiness out of your hands‚ so I'm asking you now‚ you bastard: do you#want to die?'#She's breathing heavy by the time she finishes‚ not from exertion‚ but from pure‚ desperate anger. She stops for a minute and just pants‚#staring down at the ground‚ her fingers still curled around the collar of his coat. But‚ unexpectedly‚ a hand wraps around her own‚ gently.#When she looks up‚ YJH is staring both at her‚ and through her. 'You can show me the end of this world.' It's not a question‚ but she#answers it anyways. 'Of course I can‚ you asshole. Are you doubting me?' The darkness is his eyes‚ just on the edge of hollow‚ is#absolutely beautiful. His jaw works‚ and he goes‚ 'I want to die.' HSY stops and breathes in and out‚ very slowly. She licks her lips‚ her#throat dry‚ and brings her free hand higher to the side of YJH's face. 'Well‚ okay‚' she says after a long moment. 'Then you and I have a#lot of work to do.'#end scene. and in my head thats where it ends completely. itd sorta be them in the very beginning like sort of figuring each other out.#like i have a couple of half-scenes written in like the theater dungeon or discussing mia or hsy proving herself or whatever. and like you#can see the yoohan in waves hand all that but its like. the tension or whatever? of trusting the other to help achieve your shared goal#but like the shared goal is . what if we were planning our mutual permanent death. and we were both girls.#i think hsy would get sealed too? thats what i got i stopped at that part in my reread bc of school. i hope you die. i hope we both die.#geez. chill out man. whyd i type all that. well if youre reading this i hope you liked the wip ill finish it eventually ehhh.#also working on jihye&kdj fic ive mentioned a few fimes. and uhh general 49 stuff on and off cuz he cursed my brain#sorry sorry wow#orv
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Rauuagadjsjdsk help I'm getting ready to post this week's chapter of my kylux fic (The Unforgivable) and idk if I should also post another chapter of my Codywan fic (The Last Lost Continent) or if I should wait on that one for now and post the next chunk all together. I have like 2.5 more chapters of my kylux fic all edited and ready to go for the next few weeks and the first half of act 3 done up in a rough draft, but while I have the next like 5 chapters of my codywan fic mapped out like that I only have up to chapter 7 actually written in my clean draft.
#my main concern is like foreshadowing and shit because i LOVE adding little contextual hints and stuff early on that help support the ending#and i think ive done pretty ok with that in both of my fics but im wary of posting stuff too early and missing an opportunity#to do something like that#i have the ending of my kylux fic all planned out and a really solid grip on the direction i want to take with it#i've just set the stage for it in the next few chaptersand now im working on how to execute it in a way that makes sense in universe#while also conveying the story i want to tell and keeping true to the themes and meanings I've implemented#my codywan fic on the other hand is also almost completely planned out and while i know how i want it to end#i still have a bit to figure out in terms of how i want it to play out#that is part of the fun to me tho i fuckin LOVE making stories and plotting them out and doing research for them aaaaa#ive been rewatching tcw and tbb for inspo lately#txt#rambles#kylux#codywan#fic writing shenanigans
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