#I WANT TO ADD MORE BUT I'VE HIT THE LIMIT TO HOW MANY IMAGES I CAN ADD TO A POST FUCK TUMBLR
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him
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#astarion#saw someone say “i haven't been this obsessed with anyone since i was 14”#and i agree#just... the hold he has on me#he's just a person who's been through a lot#and he might come out the other side#he might not#but he's him#this is edited btw.... i added more#I WANT TO ADD MORE BUT I'VE HIT THE LIMIT TO HOW MANY IMAGES I CAN ADD TO A POST FUCK TUMBLR#screenshot
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does anyone else (specifically any other autistic ppl) really really struggle with art in terms of like. getting yourself to actually do it or learn how
I dont rly know how to articulate it but like. I have tried, I have BEEN trying for years to find joy in creating art but I CANT, because creating anything just feels like an unwinnable battle against myself. it's not exactly art block because I have so so many things I want to draw and i can envision them perfectly but then when it comes time to actually do it just. can't. I freeze up. I feel like I dont know how to do/make what I want to and I know that you have to make bad art in order to learn how to make good art but my problem is that if I can't do exactly what I want to do or if I don't know exactly step by step how to get where I want to go my brain just Won't Let Me. reaching the limit of what I'm familiar and comfortable with feels like hitting the limit of a map in a game like I just. hit a wall and can't go any further
and I've had the thought that maybe with the way my brain works I am just simply not meant to be an artist but I HATE that, because I love drawing I really do and I'm 100% more miserable being stuck with all the images in my head than I am when I actually do make something and i really really dont want to let my stupid autism/adhd/whateverthefuck stop me from doing something that i actually am passionate about but I just. can't do itfor some reason !! it's so frustrating and I've tried so many ways to get past it I've gotten so much advice from artists in my life and none of it has worked and I want to fucking cry because I refuse to accept that I just can't do what I want to do but I don't know how to move forward
I'll get to a certain point in a piece (usually I'll finish a sketch/lineart and MAYBE add flat colors) but then I think about what to do next and even if I know the process I just get overwhelmed and then I quit because that's easier and I dont know how to make myself not quit that's how I've been with everything I've tried my whole life and I'm about ready to just give up on doing or being anything that I want to because it seems like I'm just completely incapable of holding myself to anything
I really want to feel the joy/relaxation that I see other ppl get from drawing/painting and I used to feel that when I was a kid and it comes back in phases sometimes as long as I stick to just sketching but I just. can't I know im saying that a lot and it doesn't rly mean anything but that's rly all it is I Simply Cant. I struggle and then I give up because I'm such a perfectionist that I circle back around to not being able to do anything at all because I know I can't meet my own standards and I can't muster up enough dedication to learn and practice and ahhhhhh idk
I know this has become more of a vent post than anything but like please someone tell me I'm not alone or that there's some way around this shit because it's starting to feel really hopeless and I don't want to completely give up on the only hobby I've ever been this passionate about wanting to focus on
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What I learned from trying to archive an entire Soulcalibur fansite
Back in early October, I found out that an official Wayback Machine browser add-on exists, so I was eager to try it out. I mostly used the Firefox add-on; it's available for Chrome and Safari too. You'll need an account at Archive.org for this, and it's worth it if you want to save pages on the regular. The add-on has an option to auto-save any page you visit, though I prefer to do it manually. I also find the Wayback Machine count helpful (shows how many WM snapshots are available).
So, here's a retrospective of what I learned along the way:
Check everything! Generally, it's quicker if you check the box to save outlinks, which will archive multiple pages at once, but you can't be too careful. (This can also be done on the WM's Save Page Now form if you're logged in.)
Sites with frames are a pain to archive. These were more common on late 90s and early 2000s sites as navigational menus, but the trouble is if you follow a link from those, the URL doesn't change. This might be why I found a lot of unarchived pages on a site that has been online in its current form since 2006. I guess the WM crawlers can't navigate frames? The trick is to copy the URL you want from the frame, then paste it into the address bar. That will to take you to the page you want, sans frame. (I have a very basic grasp of HTML, so here's a more detailed rundown of frames. If you remember messages to the effect of Stuck in a frame? Click here, you may qualify for a veteran's discount.)
Captures usually don't take long, but when they lag or fail... Argh. Chances are my Wi-Fi was screwing up or Internet Archive was just that busy at the moment.
Image broken even though it displays fine on the live site? That happens occasionally. Give it some time and check on the capture later.
Sometimes the "Save Failed" error is a false negative. Click the "Newest" button to check if your capture loads. If it does, great! If not, try again later.
I'm at a loss as to what to do with swf files. (RIP Flash Player.) Same with MIDIs, but it should be possible to play those with VLC media player.
Archiving takes time. A lot of it, in this case. I've gone through pages of fan art that took hours to capture. And I didn't even hit the 15-requests-per-minute limit very often. Keep that in mind if there a lot of pages you want to save!
Here's where all this madness started. Check out the "adventures in archiving tag" to get sense of my experience in real time.
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I feel like there are many analysis regarding Edvin's (astonishing) portrayal of anxiety, desire, longing, rage... but I don't see as many about mourning. He shows mourning in such a real and painful way, especifically during the funeral and when he comes back to school. He is subtle and contained but you can totally feel the pain. I think it's a difficult feeling to show with such a young age.
Edvin is honestly one of the most talented actors I have ever seen in my entire goddamn life. Which, granted, my entire goddamn life hasn't even left my teen years yet but the point stands. He's so fucking good. And you are so right. He portrays mourning so well. Like,
The opening sequence here?
You can see it all—the anguish, the despair, how he's trying so hard not to cry in front of everyone and the numbness inside him that makes it possible. It's not even that he refuses to cry, it's like he physically can't. He's too broken for that.
And in this moment when he says "That is the case. It always has been" when Kristina says he'll be compared to Erik in every step he'll take. He's completely void of emotion. There's no anger there's no anguish, no pain. There's just nothing.
The anxiety he has in this scene, the way he tries to joke about Erik but his smile drops almost immediately. Making light of a terrible situation, but the feeling is just too fresh. And the way the heavy weight of the Crown sits on his shoulders when everyone's left. He keeps a proper posture while sitting through the song, but once he's alone, that façade drops a little. His shoulders drop. The pain of losing Erik is so heavy on his shoulders.
I'd also like to point out the difference between Edvin and Malte's faces in the first one. Edvin—and subsequently Wille—has a completely blank face. There's no emotions bleeding through, Wille is compartmentalizing the fuck out of his brain in that moment. Can't have a breakdown in front of everyone if he can't feel the emotions. Malte—and August—in contrast, looks like he's about to start crying. You can see his face starting to twist, the pain and grief evident on his face. I kinda wonder if they set this up specifically on purpose this way or if both Edvin and Malte individually decided on their acting choices. It'd be interesting to know.
And I am hitting the image limit and it's too late to go edit these all into single images and add more so even though I could probably talk about the entirety of eps 4, 5, and 6 in terms of Edvin's acting about grief, I will end simply with this one. Because this is one of the best displays of grief I have ever seen and it doesn't take a lot of acting ability to scream at the top of your lungs, but a lot of actors surprisingly don't do it very well. Seriously, next time you're watching a Hollywood movie or Netflix show, and there's a scene with a character screaming, really look at their face. Most actors tend to hold back a bit. They want to do sympathetic screaming, not ugly 'we have to cut the sound out or we'll give people heart attacks' screaming. There is so much pain and grief in this shot. Wille is already mourning Erik and we saw him just barely start to have a shot at what maybe can be normalcy for him, and that's just been ripped away completely. It's a moment of pure, unfiltered angryscaredpainfuldesperate grief over that loss of privacy and I think Edvin did a fucking amazing job at it.
So anyways in conclusion, he really is such a talented actor. Also, I have only just started it myself but I havey heard a lot and I have seen a lot from the bit I've watched, but if you want to see more absolutely amazing ∞/10 acting from Edvin, I suggest you watch Gåsmamman, anon. He's really so fucking talented.
#young royals#young royals netflix#wilhelm young royals#simon young royals#wilmon#wilhelm x simon#prince wilhelm#simon eriksson#wilhelm yr#simon yr#simon x wilhelm#young royals analysis#young royals cast#edvin ryding#malte gårdinger
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Do you have any djwifi fics with a more serious story? I like stories that are just romance but I want a more compelling story with that! Or just some cute ones that would work.
The issue with searching for DJWifi fics on AO3 is that the vast majority of fics tagged with DJWifi are also tagged with love square, and the vast majority of fics tagged with both are love square-centric, or at least not DJWifi centric. It's really hard to sift through everything to find good DJWifi fics when you either have to wade through a bunch of fics that are not really DJWifi, or you have to filter out a good chunk of the DJWifi fics.
That said, here is how I would go about searching for DJWifi (specific type of fic):
Go to AO3's advanced search.
Put in the "Any Field" category otp:true. This will limit the search to only find fics with the one pairing you search for. This does mean that you won't find any fics tagged with any other romantic or platonic/familial relationships, but there's really no better way to make sure it finds specifically DJWifi content.
Accordingly, put in the Relationships box, "Alya Césaire/Nino Lahiffe"
(I also add in the fandoms category "Miraculous Ladybug," but that's really redundant; it's a matter of habit more than anything.)
From there, filter it how you want; you may exclude crossovers, choose a specific language, limit it to single chapters, complete works only, add tags you want to see. For this particular request, I added in the tag "angst."
Hit search.
[Image ID: A screenshot of AO3 in dark mode. It has "Search Results" across the top, with all of the above parameters below. At the bottom, it says, "36 Found." End ID.]
36 results.
Looking through them, only a few have been written since S4 started releasing; most were written in 2017-2018. Most are one-shots, many less than 1k words. This says nothing of the quality and your more specific personal preferences.
(All that said, this fic looks like a very promising DJWifi fake dating AU and it is tagged with angst. I will be reporting back on it.)
My 76k-words-and-counting DJWifi roommates AU is mostly angst past chapter 18 so that's definitely something to look forward to in the new year, though it'll still be a couple months til we reach that point. I've also been a little bit DJWifi-ed out this year because I've been writing so much DJWifi that no one else has seen, but hopefully next year I'll have more energy that I can put into DJWifi. (I'm telling you now, my Big Bang fic next year will neither be DJWifi centric nor will it be so goddamn long.)
Hopefully this post will serve as both a guide for finding fics to your taste in a sea of DJWifi-fics-that-are-not-so-secretly-Adrinette and general lack of content, and a PSA to stop freaking tagging fics as DJWifi when DJWifi has no actual content within the fic in terms of their relationship. Put in the Additional Tags sections "Minor Alya Césaire/Nino Lahiffe" and keep it out of the main DJWifi tag, I'm begging you. It is difficult to find content oriented toward what we actually want; more so when it's impossible to tell whether a fic tagged with DJWifi will actually deliver on that.
As for my own recommendations, which was the point of this ask in the first place:
Comfort by Lynse is just <33 there's something about Alya and Nino comforting each other about akumas because Marinette and Adrien can't provide that comfort because they don't know that just makes my heart Yearn
Shadows of Yesterday is a little bit more Nino oriented that Alya, which is also very <333 I love Alya, don't get me wrong, and I'd be a huge hypocrite to say that people shouldn't focus as much on her, but there's something about the way that Nino is generally more reserved that makes emotional hurt/comfort more bittersweet with him
lost and alone, sinking like a stone by yours truly is also DJWifi emotional hurt/comfort. I really like emotional hurt/comfort.
If anyone has more, please leave them in the notes!
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I posted 313 times in 2021
10 posts created (3%)
303 posts reblogged (97%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 30.3 posts.
I added 40 tags in 2021
#dice envy - 18 posts
#dnd - 5 posts
#dungeons and dragons - 5 posts
#d&d - 5 posts
#pathfinder - 2 posts
#ilmater is my favorite dnd god - 1 posts
#this what i picture when i think about making kobold characters - 1 posts
#dnd character - 1 posts
#these fucker have better of at least made themselves back stories - 1 posts
#dm problems - 1 posts
Longest Tag: 65 characters
#these fucker have better of at least made themselves back stories
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
Alright guys, one of my friends wants to run a Pathfinder Halloween one shot. He's giving us permission to play level 25 characters and allowed us three magic items that's only limits are that they can't be artifacts, as well as a million gold pieces and 80 days of down time before the campaign begins, all with the promise that he's going to throw something devastating at us.
I intent to make him regret giving me this much power.
I've taken 20 levels of cleric and 5 levels of witch. She's a dhampir, her focus is necromancy, and she's able to control 80 hit dice worth of undead. I've talked with the DM and he acknowledges, accepts, and understands that I will be bringing a small army of undead with me to this fight. He hasn't even given me any restrictions either; I asked if I could do something with intelligent undead and he gave me the green light so long as I could control their HD.
So this is where I'm at, I have a hand full of undead picked out already: a vampire that narratively is my character's father and is very unhappily my thrall now, two skeletal horses, a death coach, a bodak, and an attic whisperer, which I honestly chose more for aesthetic purposes then anything else. Her familiar is also a beheaded.
You'd think that would be all my HD but it's actually only 42 of them. I have 38 HD worth of undead and I'm honestly struggling to come up with undead beyond basic zombies and skeletons. To be clear, because one of the people I'm playing with have already suggested it, I'm not just getting a bunch of the strongest undead I can thing of because I'm going off of the idea that my character could have actually gone out into the world and collected all of these undead at some point in their adventuring career.
So I guess I'm throwing this question out into the aether, anyone have any good suggestions for undead to add to my character's collection?
17 notes • Posted 2021-10-25 04:31:23 GMT
#4
In regards to the dicksucking post
In my DnD group, any sexual encounter has 2 rolls
Performance to see how well you do
Constitution to see how long you last
Makes for some pretty hilarious encounters, especially among players who romance or have flings with each other
See, the BoEF I mentioned before actually has built in rules for all this. Con for how long you last, you get a dex check if you're doing something that requires a particular amount of flexibility, and performance and profession are interchangeable as I mentioned before, though you do typically need to be a prostitute or make a living seducing people to have that as a profession.
You also take a -1 penalty for every size category that your partner is smaller or larger then you. Which can be real funny to watch when your player is a human bard trying to seduce an ancient white dragon... and just a little frustrating when he manages it.
25 notes • Posted 2021-06-14 07:29:17 GMT
#3
The Pirate Bard
I had this idea for a unconventional bard. Essentially they are a Pirate bard who instead of using an instrument for arcane spells, sings sea shanties and the ghosts of his crewmates appear and sing along providing more spectral form of the spell.
25 notes • Posted 2021-04-15 00:51:05 GMT
#2
Many dollars spent but I now have everything I need to be unreasonably wizardy. The parrot's name is Charlie, he's gonna be my familiar.
In case it's not clear from the image, the book is very big and very heavy and I love it very much. Now I just need to figure out what to put in it.
32 notes • Posted 2021-07-11 01:10:26 GMT
#1
Okay, I'm interested...
... this person has never played D&D.
325 notes • Posted 2021-05-31 17:22:53 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →
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One Cut of the Dead (2017)
Spoiler Alert. I have never made the claim that this is a spoiler free film blog. I barely consider this a collection of film reviews as much as it is a space for me to have a one sided conversation about movies. I don't want to limit myself to the constraints of spoiler free content, for one because I believe in most cases we don't watch films to be surprised. I read many books, and many of those books have been adapted into films, and never once has knowing what is going to happen ruined my experience of a film. In regards to One Cut of the Dead however, I think you owe it to yourself to stop reading right here and go and see this film for yourself. I'm going to get the letter grade out of the way right now and let you know without any context that One Cut of the Dead get's an A from Reverend Chainsaw and the Cult of Cult. However, if you've already seen the movie and you would like to worship along with the Cult Film Tent Revival, please read on.
The Message
One Cut of the Dead is a two for one punch. First we are told the story of a film director who goes to extreme measures to create his zombie film. These extreme measures include shooting in a former testing facility and using an occult ritual to bring real zombies into the mix. The real zombies terrorize the actors and the crew as the mad director sporadically pops in and out shouting "Action". This almost 40 minute short film is of course done in one outstanding take. Due to all the running and chasing if you are a fan of butts more than faces, you will have a pleasant time. Still, this short film is off, there are strange lags where characters jump up from off screen for one reason or another, points where the camera drops and points at the ground, or where long drawn out conversations occur or the action just suddenly stops for an unexplained reason. What could possibly be happening?
Well, this is why when the credits roll early on in the feature you should stay tuned. You see our One Cut meta film, is actually a film within a film. Every thing that can go wrong will go wrong. Higurashi is a small time director living in Japan who specializes in small projects. One day he is scouted by the Zombie channel that is looking to launch it's premier with a very special project. Impressed with Higurashi's signature style "cheap but average", they propose that he be their man. The Zombie Channel wants to do a LIVE ONE TAKE thirty minute short film. After initially taking a moment to realize this insane idea is no joke, Higurashi agrees.
The filming takes way. The cast is difficult, the crew is barely manageable, and Higurashi and his wife are forced by their strange circumstances to take prominent roles in the chaotic picture. Equipment breaks down, improvisations are required, and there is no time for bathroom breaks. "One Cut of the Dead" proves a bizarre testing ground for our likeable rogues and they somehow manage against all odds to pull it off, explaining every quirk and oddity in the short films run time.
Please, please treat yourself and join me in receiving The Benediction.
Best Aspect: All is Revealed
One Cut of the Dead is so frustrating that it's brilliant, and so brilliant that it is frustrating. I want to know so badly if the film we see in the first half, is actually made up of footage that was being shot by the cast as the second half was being filmed, as opposed to being shot like a traditional movie. If so, It would add yet a third level of beautiful meta narrative to this movie.
What is particularly brilliant is that it does not sell itself as a film about film making, but as a much easier film where "it turns out the monsters are real", spoopy doopy stuff. Once you go in expecting that and you see all this surreal amateur stuff happening it keeps you intrigued. Why is the zombie pausing, why did those legs just appear on screen and walk off? Your left wondering what is happening and then the credits roll and the second part of the movie begins.
The second half is hilarious and it's so fun as you have each little mystery resolved and it's never boring but almost always mundane. This is not a horror movie, well it does contain a horror movie, but this is a love letter to all those happy accidents. I particularly love Evil Dead and the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, a love that is fueled by the chaotic stories that happened behind the scenes. It may be scripted, but One Cut of the Dead gives me all the satisfaction of watching a low budget horror romp, immediately followed by it's charming creation myth.
Worst Aspect: A Hat wearing a Hat
That said, it's strength is also a weakness. It is hard to write about, it's hard to always keep your head straight. This movie is a movie about making a movie about making a movie, it also is contains the movie about making a movie. Are you lost? No? Maybe I'm just dumb. It helps to not try to hard to explain it. And it only takes a little time to keep it all straight, but then again that's asking way more of the audience than most films do. Personally, it's barely even a problem, but that just speaks to how freaking great One Cut of the Dead is.
Best Character: In on the ACTION!
There is not a single character in One Cut of the Dead that is unlikeable, I almost did not give this movie a best character. However after a little bit of thinking I came down to Higurashi or Nao. Oh how I love you Nao, you crazy wild thing. But when it comes down to just candid hopefulness, and a hero that you root for the whole movie, Higurashi is the man. Every time he solves a problem and smiles it just warms my heart. I keep watching to see Higurashi succeed and anxiously anticipate his failure. The satisfaction the audience feels at the completion of this film hinges entirely on whether you want Higurashi to accomplish his herculean task.
Most WTF Moment: POOP!
I'm not even going to explain this one. Just know that there is a line of dialogue that is simply "poop" and it'll get ya.
Most Memorable Shot: Ritual Site
In lieu of a Best Kill category or another Worst category (which is hard to come up with in regards to One Cut), I'd invented the Most Memorable Shot category. It's not the same as a scene because in my minds eye I'm not thinking of a whole sequence. if I were I'd have to give it to the titular one cut. What I mean is a solid shot that sticks with me when I close my eyes and think about this film. And at the conclusion of the film within a film our lead actress is clutching a knife, facing the camera that is staring down at her, and at her feet is a massive pentagram made of blood. It's a really cool image and if you've seen the movie you know how much Higurashi and the crew worked to get that specific image in your mind. You could say out of all the visuals in this movie the pentagram shot is the top of the pyramid.
Summary
Once Cut of the dead is so enjoyable I've watched it 3 times in 2 days. Every time I rewatch it I catch something else. My initial motivation was to see the first segment again with the thought of the second segment in mind, but I just couldn't stop there. This movie is candy. This movie is cocaine. If you love horror films for the artistry (or lack there of) and not just for the scares, then this movie will hit many sweet spots for you. Don't sleep on this. Get a Shudder subscription and watch One Cut of the Dead, and then watch it again.
Overall Grade: A
#A#Grade A#Grade: A#Once Cut of The Dead#Japan#Japanese#Comedy#horror film#mockumentary#zombie#horror comedy#2017#2010s#(A)
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How to Draw a Face In Profile and Not Be Frustrated With It. Here's how I do mine, but like, Art is Subjective, so do what you want.
I begin with a Circle.
[[MORE]]
Boring and mundane, but this is the beginning. A Fundamental part of art and life is sifting through fundamentals and using them to build on.
Next I cut the Circle in half.
Now that it's a circle with a fixed place, a halfway marker, you can build a face around it. Having stability is hard to maintain, but that's why we do Fundamental Boring Things, so that we can rely on them.
I make a jaw and a creepy faceless surface to build on.
Now I have a head, a lot less mundane and boring. I have a top of head and a bottom of jaw/chin, which means I have the foundations for a whole face in profile. The world is my Oyster, and I continue to build from this point.
Roughly 2/3rds down the original circle, I draw a line and slice the side with the jaw in half.
Now I have the place where eyes go. I have a fundamental head, but not a face, unless I'm drawing a Shyguy. I'm not, but you might be.
I draw a triangle here for the start of the nose.
A good start. From here, I would draw a brow ridge above the nose and lips and a proper shaped chin below the nose, but this is where we begin to make somebody Specific, instead of just constructing A Face. There really is no "Generic" face at all ever, even if there are people with big families and a lot of people with similar features. Lips, eyes, ears, brow ridges, chins, jaws, even cheeks are all EXTREMELY varied all over the world, your art is just as individual as your face, your voice, and how you express yourself.
Since here's where it becomes individually recognizable, I'm gonna make my drawing an Interesting Silhouette with lots of ridges for the eye to follow. You might make an Interesting Silhouette that's more Smooth Planes, it's valid, it's all Art. Express the face you want, study that face, and then apply your own sensibilities about your subject to your drawing.
I'm gonna model my drawing after those Moon Man Drawings you see everywhere. I think they're neat. So he'll need a Big Friendly Nose that's interesting to look at.
Continuing the nose, I draw a box
I could have stopped adding to the nose, but I'm going for a Big Nose, and lots of Ridges. Hence the Square here. Don't listen to European White-Centric beauty Standards and draw what you want.
I drew a Circle for his Nostrils
Some people have big noses, some have small noses, I'm here to draw a lot of ridges, so I gave him a bigger nose than just the triangle, which is where I usually stop with Noses. Definitely do a lot of studies for all of these parts, faces, art, all of it!
Next we begin the Mouth
This is how I mark out lips and a mouth in general, but this is Moon Man, so he needs to Smile, and I can't be general about him. Some people have more lip than others. Your art might have more lip than mine.
I start with the top lip.
Moon man smiles, he's always happy to see you, and everything else because he's the Moon. I'll do a mouth tutorial later, and you might draw his smile different. Obviously, he's the Moon, so i feel his chin should stick out from his face. Plus it's Interesting Ridges for the Eye To Follow.
I add more Chin to his Jaw, and mark out where I want his eyes to go
I also marked out where his eyes go, because faces typically have eyes. Usually profiles only have 1 visible eye, but you might not be drawing the same Moon Man and that is a-okay. Draw all the eldritch many eyed Moon Mans you want.
Looks like I've hit the 10 image Limit, so I'll make a part 2. Hopefully you have drawn a face in Profile that you're pleased with
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It's time to meet the supporting players of Ryan Murphy's Hollywood.
Last week, Netflix dropped a first look at the cast of Hollywood, a new 7-episode limited series set in a version of 1940s Tinseltown. The images showcased Patti Lupone, Darren Criss, David Corenswet, Jeremy Pope, Laura Harrier, Samara Weaving, and more in their slickest '40s garb. But they're only part of the story. EW has an exclusive First Look at many of the show's supporting characters, including real-life Oscar winner Hattie McDaniel as portrayed by Queen Latifah.
Other new famous faces in these images include Rob Reiner as invented studio boss Ace Amberg, Katie McGuinness as Gone With the Wind star Vivien Leigh at the 1948 Oscars, Mira Sorvino as fictional actress Jeanne Crandall, and Maude Apatow as Henrietta, wife to Corenswet's aspiring actor Jack Costello.
Set in the studio system in the 1940s, Hollywood offers viewers a glimpse of the post-war Golden Age with a revisionist twist. Murphy tells EW his inspiration for the series began with three real-life figures, including McDaniel and Anna May Wong (Michelle Krusiec), seen in another exclusive image here.
"I grew up watching old movies all the time, and there were three people that I was always very upset about, and interested in, which was Anna May Wong and Hattie McDaniel and Rock Hudson," explains Murphy. "[They were] this link to what I felt at the time was happening in my own life, which was 'Oh, I'm never going to be allowed to be who I could really be or show what I could really do because of prejudice.'"
As these images offer, Hollywood merges a version of real-life stars with invented figures who partner to create a very different portrait of what the studio system might have looked like. "I call it 'faction' -- some of it's fiction, some of it's actual facts," Murphy adds. "I've always wanted to do a buried history piece. Particularly after the success of Feud, that showed that people are interested in that sort of thing, but [Bette] Davis and [Joan] Crawford were so well known. I was interested in sort of shining the light on people who didn't kind of have that acclaim or success but should have. It started off with that."
The series dares to imagine a more inclusive version of a movie factory, one where there's space for women, people of color, and LGBTQ people to find space to be themselves and live their dreams. "We learn from Hollywood -- on how to dress, how to love, how to act. It's always been that way," Murphy explains. "If somebody back then would have been making pictures about gay people and people of color, I think it would have changed the fabric of America because you can't be something unless you see it."
Hollywood hits Netflix on May 1.
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[Image description: a young person holds a mobile phone with a blue case and a paper on the other. the paper has a drawing of an umbrella colored with the trans pride flag. we can only see their upper body. they are looking down and to the left of the image. they're smiling without showing their teeth, and look relaxed. they're wearing a black, loose hoodie and some shorts can be seen at the bottom of the picture. they're also using black nail polish. on the background there is a door and a star wars poster. the other image is a close up of the paper. end ID]
🌈ʜᴇ/ᴛʜᴇʏ🌈
happy trans day of visability to all my fellow trans*!! here is me and my project for peace's day... i personally love it. it's on spanish, but i'll translate it for y'all.
the text on the left says "cada persona que conoces está luchando una batalla de la que no sabes nada. sé amable. siempre", which is the translation of that quote that goes like "every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. be kind. always".
the one on the right says "¿qué sentido hay en pelear? ¿por qué insistimos en sabotearnos mutuamente? Todos caminamos por el mismo sendero embarrado, todos nos dirigimos al mismo final." its translation is something like "what's the point on fighting? why do we insist on sabotage each other? we all walk the same muddy path, we are all headed for the same end."
and above the umbrella there's words like "odio", "acoso", "ignorancia" & "discriminación", which mean "hatred", "harassment", "ignorance", and "discrimination".
yeah i'm very subtle.
i've decided to share my story with the world. but i got kinda carried away. it's not s fairy tale, so don't read it if you're sensitive to themes like bullying, mental health issues, and toxic people.
——————————————————————
it's been... one ride of a journey, to say the least. i've said a few times that i started to question my gender around summer. but that's not quite true.
growing up, i never was fond of... anything that i associated with femenine, really. this included, but wasn't limited to, any color that wasn't blue (pink and purple get a special mention, i despised them), flowers, clothes too loose or too tight, shorts if they weren't from some sport, etc. i think you get the idea.
this collided with me being afab (aka a girl for everyone including myself) & neurodivergent. i wanted nothing to do with those things. but society wanted me to love them.
5 yo me said she didn't like Monster High. 5 yo female classmate said i was a weirdo. 7 yo me loved football. 7 yo male classmate said i couldn't play because i was a girl. 9 yo me hyperfixated on minecraft. 9 yo pretty much every classmate called me a geek.
so i stoped trying. for a while, i loved pink, wanted to have rapunzel's hair, watched disney channel, etc. but i already was the weirdo. i remember being three and friends with all of them. i remember playful fights for the toy rocket and reading books with the only other boy who could read, to ourselves, each other, and the whole class. but people grow up, and they change. so yeah, i was bullied. always the last one to be chosen, left alone on the bus rides, on my own at the playground.
and you'll be thinking "that sucks, but pao, how is it related to you being trans?"
you'll see, i didn't have many friends. i was kinda alone until i turned 7. then two new kids came to my class. let's call them eva and john. i made friends with them asap. i loved them so much!! they were my first friends since kindergarden. so i allowed myself to let go. i was already hated by most of my peers. why wouldn't i be myself with those who didn't despise me? (i was 7 when i thought this. 7 years old, and i thought that out of 20 people, 18 hated me. and then people wonder why i've got self-steem issues lmao. i'm tryna make the point that bullying in primary school isn't just some mean kids calling you names. i'm currently in high school and it still has its mark on me. but that's for another moment.)
so yeah. i went "wild". eva has adhd too (noice, right? i mean she has her diagnosis becaise she's primarly hyperactive, while i'm primarly inattentive, but we understood each other way quickier than with neurotypicals– even if i didn't know why yet), and john was kinda shy & corpulent (he wasn't fat, but he didn't look slim either), just like me. so we became friends. and i slowly opened up a little, while still playing my role of "the freak kid". i knew i was seen as that AND as the smart kid. double pressure, double bullying. but i had my small circle. it evolved until my current friend group, in which, god bless, there's a trans girl!! (eva's still on it– she's my best friend and i would die for her, no doubts. john can go fuck himself, the goddamned fascist).
but it ain't that easy. it never is. i'm 14 and afab. shit happens. y'all get it.
my first period happened while i was on a school trip (bad), on a hotel with no pads avaliable (very bad), on another country so i couldn't call my mum unless i had wifi because politics & stuff– and i did not have wifi (really bad). cue a lot of dysphoria (even if i didn't know it was that) + not being able to contact anyone. add the fact that i was the second one to have it, and it was some kind of taboo– it meant the other girls wouldn't leave me alone, and the result is clear: one of my worst panic attacks ever, on a tiny bathroom of some shitty hotel room.
from there it went downhill. my body started to become femenine, and the football short didn't make my hips smaller. my face, my oh so alarged face, suddenly became rounder. puberty hit me not only physically, but emotionally. and if that wasn't enough, we, as a class, were entering what's called here "the turkey age", a.k.a. teenagerhood, where looks become even more important. it didn't take long until i hated my body.
[WARNING: from here, this gets hard. mentions of eating disorders, depressive episodes/thoughts, toxic enviroments, homophobia/transphobia (both internalized and external), anxiety attacks, and thoughts of self-harm]
i thought "it's big, it shouldn't be big, it's fat. besides i don't want it to grow so fast. i want to make it stop growing. how? well, i grow up by eating. no eating=no growing".
yeah. eating disorder. when i think about it, i want to laugh. because it only took a few comments and "jokes" for me to be so angry at myself when i should be mad with them. i'm big. always have been, very likely always will. i've been told that i could make a very good rugby player. i probably would. i shared my cantine table with people (😔). and they wouldn't shut up. "[deadname], the rest wants to eat too!", "look at [deadname], she's gonna eat it all!". things like that. i stoped eating. i would pick up the smallest amount of food i could, even if my stomach was begging me to please eat something. eventually, my mum found out. and she helped me to grow out of it. i sometimes releapse, but never for that long. because i went on a whole year like that. and it sucked.
so, last year. socially anxious neurodivergent girl with several doubts on her sexuality gets to eight grade.
i play basketball. since i was little. i used to enjoy it a lot. we weren't a team– we were a family. loved 'em so much, 1000/10 one of the best things of my life. BOOM. now you're old enough & good enough to be on the "good" team. in the good time there's the cool kids. i am not a cool kid. oops. i was left behind, they all laughed at my back, no one cared about me (except one girl, but she was in the group and was scared to act until almost the end of the year. love her for that tho). i felt like shit. i was too scared to go to train. the sight of a ball scared me, because i couldn't help but think everyone was talking shit about me. we went to a national championship and when they went out to the city, they didn't tell me, then sent a pic of them having fun to the groupchat & delated it saying "oops it was for the other group". i had several breakdowns on my room that night. it was such a bad experience i can't even hear the name of the city without tearing up.
not to count that a new girl decided to make my life a living hell. now i know how to deal with her, but then i didn't, and i ended up curled up on the bathroom floor crying.
all while i discovered my own identity. i was so scared of being non-straight i hated myself for it.
it was a tough year and there were times where i would wish i'd never existed. it was too much for me to deal with, and i was just miserable. but i got out of it. remember the trans girl i mentioned? she's closeted, and she told me just this october. but even before that, she was my friend. she bought a new life to it all, a fresh one. i owe her a lot, including accepting myself as i am.
she is here, despite everything.
i am here, despite everything.
you are all here, despite everything.
some of us aren't here. they are the ones we remember. each one of us has our history. i shared mine with you all. it is not an easy road. you know that. it's hard, and it's tough, and it's difficult, and it's unfair.
but we are here, despite everything. the ones who made it, the ones who didn't, the ones who are halfway through it, and the ones who are to come.
we are here. we are trans. and we won't be erased.
#long post#my face#my selfie#tw homophobia#tw: queerphobia#tw: transphobia#tw: homophobia#tw queerphobia#tw transfobia#tw transphobia#transphobia tw#esting disorder#tw eating disorder#tw anxiety#tw anxious#tw panic attack#tw bullying#tw low self esteem#tw toxic enviroment#pao says shit#pao's fountain of dumbassery#pao speaks#pao's proud#trans day of visibility#tdov2020#tdov selfie#tdov#nonbinary#agender flux#libra fluid
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Music AU - part 3
Au where Tony Stark is a music producer & the owner of Avengers Entertainment, Peter is a multi-instrumentalist British jazz musician and War Machine is a progmetal band. In other words the starker fic in which Peter smirks a lot and Tony remains astonishingly oblivious for a long time.
PART1 PART2
Evening
Two hours and two thousand pounds later Tony is back in front of the mirror in his room and is finally satisfied. Well, the suit is not bespoke, that would have been impossible in such a limited amount of time. But it feels the best he owns, a sensation which may have more to do with why he bought it rather than where. He finishes his second drink, smooths down the front of his jacket and revels in the soft touch of the fabric. Unbidden, his mind conjures up the image of Peter’s long fingers and the way his pale skin would look against the dark charcoal of the suit.
Snapping out of his reveries, Tony feels the need of grounding himself and decides to have dinner before the concert. His desire of getting around the exhausting search for a suitable place wins out over his habit of avoiding hotel restaurants and he calls room service. The food arrives soon, and he decides to eat on the balcony despite the chilly breeze. The lights of the city are beckoning him, and the noises melt together in an excited buzzing. Tony feels anticipation course through him, the prickling of adrenaline in his veins pushing him forward despite the anxiety coiling at the pit of his stomach.
Tony watches the taxi drive away before turning around and taking the ship in. It looks just as cool as on the website and he’s not surprised to see a small queue at the entrance. He walks down the steep dock and joins the line. He wishes away the uneasy feeling settling in his chest, but his efforts are in vain. He has nothing to occupy his mind as he waits, and he starts wondering when the last time was that he had gone to a concert not for business. Then Tony reminds himself that this is business. But he can’t deny that this is something else, too and it makes him nervous.
He barely notices when he’s up. He gets his ticket, enters and puts his coat in the cloak-room without paying any attention. The exposed, naked feeling he got from Peter’s gaze that morning is back. Entering the concert hall, Tony walks straight to the bar. The velvety taste of his Islay whiskey brings him back to the present for a minute, but the smoky aroma reminds him of the chilly morning air and Peter. Shaking his head, Tony takes another sip, leans against the bar and takes in the venue.
The windows of what seems to have been originally the dining room are closed off. Tony suspects that it’s been done to achieve better acoustics. The walls, along with the old panelled ceiling are painted matte black. The copper wall lamps appear to be genuine and they create a steampunk vibe without trying too hard. Tony makes a mental note to consider this venue for Avengers’ gigs in the future. He can just imagine young Londoners going crazy for Loki’s dark post metal here. Although steampunk doesn’t really suit heavy metal, the lightning visuals of the God of Thunder would go excellently with the Steamer’s all-black interior.
His musings are interrupted when he catches Peter’s name in the conversation of a small group at the bar. A youth with their back to Tony says how much they wait to see what Peter comes up with next. Tony can’t suppress a grin, but the excitement in his chest soon turns into something more unpleasant. There may be a hundred people there already, mostly Peter’s age. Tony wonders how many of them are his friends and acquaintances. He’s surprised to recognise the emotion clawing into him as jealousy.
Not wanting to dwell on this, he finishes his drink in one swallow and starts towards the stage. Being so close to the excited crowd forming the first few lines doesn’t help changing his earlier train of thought, so Tony turns his attention to the instruments that have already been brought out to the stage. The grand piano occupies almost half of the place. The drums are set up in the back and to the right there is a beautiful reddish double bass and a stool for the player. At the centre of the stage Tony sees an alto and a soprano saxophone. He can’t help but feel a little awe-struck again, when he remembers that Peter can play all these instruments. Tony wants to see it all, but he suspects that Peter will only play one tonight. Before he can decide if he’d preferred the sight of Peter hugging the double-bass to that of his delicious fingers flying over the keys of the piano, the lights are dimmed.
Tony hasn’t noticed so many people arrive, but the cheering that erupts suggests a nice crowd. He doesn’t join in, not so much out of professionalism, but because the realisation that any second now he’s going to see Peter again hits him hard. Before he can even wonder how to prepare himself, however, Peter walks out on stage and Tony’s breath hitches. Impossibly, he looks more beautiful than Tony remembered, his expression determined, dark eyes glowing in the blue light. He wears a long white shirt reaching almost to the knees. The way it envelops his slim figure sends a shiver down Tony’s spine – a sensation that has nothing to do with professional appreciation of Peter’s sense of style.
When Peter picks up the saxophone, Tony feels something hot coil in the pit of his stomach. He tries to focus on how Peter’s holding the instrument, if it is the proper way, but when he starts to play, the last of Tony’s pretences are swept away. His usual cool and collected professionalism stands no chance in Peter’s presence. He’s immediately transported by the vibrant tune.
It feels like spring and sunlight, like being caught up in the turmoil of a busy town square, surrounded by colours, sounds, touches that fit together seamlessly, all part of one pulsating flow of life. Then the saxophone opens new paths and Tony finds himself removed from the centre of things, relaxed, breathing in the dust and the lazy afternoon sunshine as he wanders down empty streets. The sea is glistening like a myriad of diamonds at the end of the road, and Tony kneels in the sand, letting the foamy waves wash over him, cooling him, bringing him back.
Opening his eyes is like waking from a deep slumber. He has no idea how much time has passed, whether the cheering and clapping indicates the end of the first song or the whole concert. When Peter speaks, greeting the audience, Tony’s relieved to find out that it’s only the beginning. Before he signals the band to start playing again, Peter’s eyes find Tony and for the briefest moment they lock gazes. For a second the rest of the crowd disappears, and they are alone, just the two of them in their connection. Tony’s never been affected like this before.
He barely has time to recover before the first notes of the second song begin, and he’s drawn back into that dreamlike state. His eyes fall shut and after god knows how long, Tony Stark begins to dance. His whole body is attuned to the music. Every note resonates in his chest and each note flies around him, teasing him, making the soft swinging movement feel irresistible. Tony revels in the new sensations awoken by Peter.
Where he usually feels cool and empty, gentle flames now sparkle into life, warming him, dancing in his chest like fairy lights. He feels young, careless in a way he’s never been, chasing his lover around white walls in a vivid green garden, the sunlight playing tricks on his eyes, until he finally reaches him. They kiss and Tony feels tears well up in his chest, but he laughs, because it’s the most delicious thing he ever felt, almost unreal, magical.
Each song takes him to a new place. The colours, perfumes and sensations evoked by the tunes seem familiar, yet dazzlingly new, as if coming from a long-forgotten part of his soul that Peter's music somehow manages to reach. It's like breathing freely again.
By the end of the concert, Tony feels both exhausted and energised. He can't wait to find Peter. As his brain starts to function normally again, he comes up with one argument after the other to convince Peter to sign with the Avengers. He can't let him go. Peter is incredible, his compositions, his playing, his presence, all of it. All of him. Tony needs him. As the crowd slowly starts dispersing, he walks back to the bar. It doesn't take long for Peter to join him. Tony hears the congratulations he gets as he walks across the dance floor. He doesn’t turn around, but he lifts his glass in celebration as Peter slides on a stool next to him.
When he turns to face the young man, Tony aims for an appreciative expression, but he can feel that he misses by a mile. Peter’s face is flushed, his forehead covered in shining drops of sweat and the top buttons of his shirt are undone. The sight sends a wave of arousal through Tony’s body and he knows that it shows. He wets his lips and clears his throat, but it takes a second try to actually get any words out.
“You are amazing,” Tony says, wishing he wouldn’t sound so much like he was in a post-orgasmic bliss.
The playful twinkle in Peter’s eyes suggests that he knows full well what is going on inside him. He holds Tony’s gaze for a long moment before he thanks him with a genuine smile. Then, he takes a sip of his club soda. When a drop starts running down the side of the glass, he flicks out his tongue and licks it off. Tony can’t look away and Peter’s smirk tells him that the young man knows it. Tony gulps.
“Peter,” Tony begins trying to keep the raspy edge of arousal out of his voice, “I need you to understand..." Peter frowns at that and lifts his gaze, so Tony's looking him straight in the eyes when he speaks his next words. "You've made me feel things I've never felt before. Fuck, I know I sound cheap, but you see, I'm quite old for new emotions," he adds jokingly, but at the same time it hits him how painfully true it is.
"My point is that you–, your music," he corrects himself, "is incredible and the way you own the stage…” Shit. He can't make it about how sexy Peter is. He is, god yes, he is, otherwise Tony wouldn't be getting hard from those dark, attentive eyes boring into his, but Peter is not the type to be flattered into a deal. And yet... “You are perfect,” Tony finishes after a moment’s pause, getting his voice back under control. Try as he might, he couldn't sum it up any better.
Peter tilts his head slightly, bright eyes searching Tony’s face and a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Tony wants so much to lean in and kiss him, it hurts. But he can't. For one thing, it would be utterly unprofessional and for another, Peter surely wouldn't want him. It really shouldn't hurt as much as it does. And Tony certainly shouldn't dwell on it for such a long time.
“So,” Tony starts, the exact moment he sees Peter move. His heartbeat quickens with excitement, but by the time he blinks, Peter is completely still again, looking at him expectantly. Tony’s chest tightens. He’s never been so nervous about business. He swallows hard and continues. “What would you say about a deal with the Avengers?”
The change in Peter’s expression tells Tony instantly that he said something wrong.
“What?” he asks, confused. “Surely, my offer can’t be wholly unexpected…”
Shit. He hasn’t made it better.
“Well, Mr. Stark, I can assure you that your offer took me entirely by surprise.”
Peter’s mocking him, but why? What has Tony done to offend him?
“Peter?” When he hears how weak his voice sounds, Tony clears his throat. “Mr. Parker, I’m sorry if my offer doesn’t seem appealing to you. If you would let me explain, I’m sure we can agree on more satisfying terms.”
A hollow laugh is all the answer Tony gets before Peter excuses himself in a colourless tone and walks away. Tony is dumbstruck. He can’t fathom what went wrong. One minute, Peter’s gaze was open and interested, the next he looked hurt and he shut Tony out so fast, he had no chance of figuring out his mistake. Tony stares down at his hands. He has no idea what to do. If he gave up, it would be the right time to leave. But has he given up?
At least the ‘no’ in answer to that question comes without hesitation. No, he still wants Peter.
Tony stays like this for a long time, his mind foggy, his whole body numb. He tries to think but can’t come up with anything helpful. Then it hits him. He hears his own words again, as if he spoke them out loud. He wants Peter. He wants Peter, period. Tony feels his face flush in embarrassment, but he can’t fight off the grin spreading on his face, either. Shit. How could he have denied it even for a minute? How could he have said ‘Yes, he’s beautiful, but– ‘? How could he have convinced himself that it was all professional?
Well, Tony know why he felt he needed to convince himself. He would have never believed that Peter can be interested in him. His reputation is one thing, his age is quite another. He was horrified to be seen as a creepy old man thirsting over young people, abusing his power to get them and using them to make him feel young again. No, Tony’s not like that. He doesn’t need young lovers to make him forget, because he simply doesn’t mind his age.
And, apparently, Peter doesn’t mind it either. Tony tries hard to come up with an alternative explanation, but there’s no other way to see this. He recalls his own words, how he as good as confessed all his admiration and desire to Peter. And he welcomed it. The memory of his smiles makes Tony’s heart clench. It’s obvious now, what he did to offend Peter. Foolish as he is, Tony Stark practically turned down Peter Parker. He told him he was perfect and that he made him feel in a way he never had before – then went on and offered him a fucking contract. How utterly humiliating that must have felt, especially if Peter expected something else…
Tony buries his face in his hands. He must make things right.
He can’t.
Can he?
Tony has no idea, but if there’s ever a time to take a risk, then it’s now. He stands and starts walking purposefully towards the VIP entrance.
“Did you name-drop yourself to get in here?” Peter asks, half exasperated, half teasing, when he notices Tony.
“No,” he replies, taking a seat next to Peter, turning towards the young man, abashed. “I actually name-dropped you.”
Peter bows is head in mock surprise, but he seems to relent. Relieved and embarrassed at the same time Tony laughs, and his heart starts beating faster when he hears Peter chuckle too.
“So, you’re still interested, even though you can’t own my music?”
“Peter,” Tony begins for the second time that night. He pauses searching desperately for the right words to deliver his feelings. “In the last two hours you took me through space and time and showed me some magical places. And yes, it would be a dream to work with you, because you are ridiculously talented and you create true art. But when you stopped playing, I opened my eyes and I realised that it wasn't the music. It was you. It was you that I…” he pauses. He needs to get it right, to prove himself, to make up for his blindness and stupidity. “It was you that got me spellbound and I would very much wish to be with you.”
“Well then,” Peter smiles, eyes bright, voice like honey, “when is your flight back, Tony Stark?”
Tony frowns. Is that what this is going to be? A quickie before his flight? He wasn’t prepared for this answer, but what can he expect after making such a fool of himself? He swallows past the lump in his throat and answers. “Tomorrow, I guess.”
“No,” Peter corrects, shaking his head, his eyes sparkling with some new emotion. He slides off his stool and steps closer. “I meant your flight back here.”
Tony’s chest suddenly feels too tight. He laughs in relief and beams at Peter as the young man leans in to kiss him.
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I'm going to post this because maybe someone will hear this over words unspoken, my name is Billy Strange and I still wake up each morning picking up the next piece, I've almost taken my life more then I can count on both hands, from a high school sweet heart marriage of 9 years turned bloody and a custody battle that went from healthy to sadistic over a span of 3 years and 20k, and it was the words from a man I barely knew for no more then 6 months, that has saved me
I see and talk to so many fathers who tell me their story and I so badly want to tell them just to listen to what I'm telling you, I can get you out of this if you just let me a stranger walk with you through it... It never works out that easy but I don't give up and I hope you all read these words and share them to those who may hear it better from the words written by their brother in arms.. any way
I look back for those 2 years I was there and remember pushing anyone close to me as far away as possible so that they didn't have to feel the initial pain or try to stop me, all because I felt like I let them all down...
The only people I kept around me were strangers because I wanted to know if they seen me as a failure not even knowing me.... It was because of that, and them being completely honest about why it was only me that maybe it wasn't meant to be,
(A Satanist told me this and I'll never forget it, it was his words that allowed me to get this far) he is not one for recognition so I won't label him.
"did you ever think that your trying so hard to hold up a world that has fallen all around you...
Maybe you are on the right path and you are only focusing on the things that have already broken, and don't realize that all you have to do is look down at each piece, see it and learn why it was so important to you and then glue it to that small piece you are still holding above you, then go to the next and keep going until each piece has shown you just how strong it actually made you to make it to someone who seen your strength, and can see you just forgot what gave you that strength.
It will hurt, it will make you hate the way you handled certain things, it will cause you to try to give up,
but because you made it a task to see each piece, and put it all back up, you will never allow yourself to give up, or find a rope, until you complete your task, because thats the person you are...
But you have to understand that it may have taken you 5 years to build that first world you now see broken below you, it will take far longer to rebuild it stronger, because you will also rebuild yourself with each piece, and you have to remember to let each piece's glue dry before placing the other or else you will watch it become to stressful and not understand why you think you are doing the right thing but it keeps falling....
Learn each piece then let it hurt, while you hold it in place to dry, let it consume your mind and play it over and over like a movie each piece until it dries, then heal, smile before you look back down for that next piece, and don't ever be scared to place even those bad things you did when not everyone was watching back into your rebuild, because without each piece it will be to weak and fall apart down the road when everything seemed good.
Basically you have to accept that you are on a dark road but to learn to see in the dark it will allow you to navigate later in life when you see a person on that same road and they ask for help.. Don't ever forget how you felt because they may have absolutely no one and will you want to be the one who pretends like you didn't see it. Anyway that being said stop mopping and let's go handle business "
The next section is a completely separate chapter from above but I feel maybe can help...
I want to add to this 4 years from that being told to me and experiencing it in real life, that sometimes you will still find yourself in a sort of limbo period I've managed to pin mine down to about every 8 months, if for some reason I didn't accomplish a goal I set prior and it feels like no matter what I do or try I can't for some reason figure it out, those are the moments you need to find a person you trust your life with because those will be the moments you will try anything to get you out of that mentality because we want to feel that we are moving forward no matter the speed, but to feel stuck and not being able to see a way out or that lost piece that you know is there it's just probably hidden under some of your other pieces..we feel like Maybe just for a moment let whatever is causing you to panic, whether it's rent, a car that is broke and no money and work tomorrow, or you've been jobless for 3 months now and even with all the resumes submitted nothing is available and winter is a cold time to be homeless with no job, or maybe you still haven't got a place to stay so that you can have your children stay with you finally, whatever it is the worst thing that can happen is what you silently keep fighting to not take over,
I just want this fight to stop for one night, I just want all this stress to burry itself tonight so I can try to breathe... What that really means is I'm going to go back to those bad habits I had because it always quieted those fights in my head and if I can just do that I will have a clear mind to find a solution..
I will tell you from experience that once you reach that moment nothing but a person of trust will stop you from taking that hit, or drinking those shots, calling that sexual excitement, spending the money you don't have on the gambling machines, going out on the town with the sole purpose of getting wasted, because we truly believe that we are better prepared to control our vices, we will stop at our limit, what we never realize is that we allowed those vices to retake control by thinking you needed it to breathe.
What will ultimately usually happen is a night of uncontrolled guilt, constant war inside yourself, conscious tears filling up your emotional warhead..
all night this rage of self doubt quietly destroying your confidence, causing you to go right on past that limit of 2 shots, or just one line, or I'll only put 20 bucks in the slots, or I will just flirt I won't allow it to go past that,
because that fight is still loud and now more painful, because you know deep down that you allowed yourself to fall and laying there helpless...I cringe even writing these next words because it's so easy to reach this point of thinking that;
"obviously we were just meant to fail"
"why not right, "
"who really cares if I fail there's, no one here to stop me right..."
"So why should I have to carry this pain all the damn time, why is it so fucking easy for everyone else..."
And that's it...
(Those of you who are reading this and may be in this exact moment please, look at that image that you always hold in your mind of your child's eyes, look at that past moment when you and your daughter would lay under the stars with her head on your shoulder watching the magical pink elephant jump through a black sky as she explains how much she loves you and talks about anything and everything that her imagination creates under that massive sky where imagination always comes to life.... Feel her heart as she paints her masterpiece and ask you to help with the flowers over there by the big dipper so the elephant has something to give her mom,
please don't let your moment die because you have no more left, and no one in your face to help you, please call me I don't know you but I will before we hang up and I won't let you fail the only mission that will keep your children's smile alive for another year because you didn't let yourself fall.)
Cont. - don't Wake up the next day or still awake 12 hours later after all those "friends" left you to sit with your own guilt... Oh yeah, that guilt is now yelling loudly inside your entire soul, as it launches that emotional warhead of tears, oh yeah those evil people why did they let me do this....
Why did they... Urrrghhhhh why did I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I,... DO this I can't believe I went back to what destroyed me and actually talked myself into believing this was going to help me....
It's in those tears and self reflection comes a choice that is now forced on you, oh hold that thought your friend from last night is calling, and they want to know if you want to continue this "unhealthy" adventure..
You either respond with a yes and have accepted that you have lost your control, and most times it will set you back 3-6 months or until your money runs out or those "friends" hurt you. And then you realize that all you did was take on more hurt and more pain and that's a scenario that will most likely continue to lead to occasional loss of all reality until you find that piece of your life that you keep looking over and afraid to pick up, and will cause your life to end up in constant downfalls until addressed.
Or you will have addressed that guilt and conquer a small war by not answering, because you are very In tune with accepting responsibility and able to understand that you could have destroyed your life, someone else's life, and now you know that you still are not able to control those periods of limbo when nothing is working. So accept responsibility for any loses you may have encountered, like a drug test at work, or a piece of your dignity, or people you thought were friends...
The first step from that is to immediately have the talk with that person you know will hold you accountable during those periods, 9 out of 10 times that person is who you looked up to as a child whether it's your mom, dad, grandparent, or sibling, for me it was my grandmother.. The moment you can go to them honestly no matter what it was that you did the night before, you have to let them know what that is, you have to be able to openly label the thing that will destroy you, and let them know how important they are to your strength, those tears from that conversation will build a mountain of motivation inside of you... Usually sparking that jolt to get you over that limbo...
Some people can afford to pay those people to help them, for the rest of us we have each other so that's my little piece of advice I hope it helps someone
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hi, sib. i just read your fic persistence, and it was so beautifully done that i wanted to drop you a note. your writing has seriously been such an influence on mine, but lately i've been having so much trouble because of my ocd. now i can't read anything without nitpicking the grammar, much less write. it's been this way for months now and i feel like i'm losing my mind. all i ever wanted was to write something good but... well, at least i still get to read something by you. i shall be content.
I’m sorry for the delay in replying, anon. Your message was so thoughtful, but also struck this… almost painfully bittersweet, personal note with me, and I had to take a couple days to reflect.
I’m so happy you enjoyed Persistence - it was a lil 500 word labour of love, but it’s somewhat different from my usual body of work, and I was a bit nervous putting it out there. So I’m delighted you enjoyed it. And it’s quite flattering to hear I’m an influence on your writing, since I feel I’m still learning the craft of writing, in many, many ways. Thank you!
Now, as for the latter half of your message…
Oh, anon.
Nonny non anon, I feel you. I’ve been… well, perhaps not right in your shoes, as I have never had OCD. But I’ve been in the same vicinity, most definitely.
Up until half a year ago, or thereabouts, my writing process was: write out a few paragraphs (if that - sometimes it was barely a paragraph) and then rework them. I would rework them over and over and over, until I felt they were just right. Only then did I feel I could move on. I felt like I was laying the foundations for a house, you know? If I didn’t get the first things laid down just right, then everything that came after would be on shaky ground, might even come tumbling down.
Thing is, writing is more like sculpting. You dig up some clay (your discovery draft or your outline, whatever), you mould it (your first draft), and then you carve and add little bits, over and over (editing. and more editing. and more. fucking editing >.>)
Anyway.
Eventually, I started slowing down, and the threshold of what I could stand before I needed to edit got smaller. It became ‘write a few lines. stop. edit those lines over and over’. And then it became ‘write one line. stop. edit that line over and over’. Rinse, repeat.
It got to the point where I stopped writing completely, for almost half a year, because everything I wrote down was so far from what I envisioned in my head, it was crushing. I had the exact same despairing thought you did: ‘All I want is to write something good’. And if I didn’t write it down, if I kept it in my head, it was good. It was perfect, in fact. Surely that was better (I thought to myself).
I feel you, I feel you, I do.
I wish there was some magic bullet that I could use to erase all those thoughts from you, to divide writing from editing in your mind, because they’re two very different processes. I would… well, I would use it on myself first, because I am human and selfish, but then I would turn it on you, and everyone else who is plagued by this period ;)
But the horrid thing (which I was very, very displeased to realise), is that if you want to write, the only thing you can do in this period is just… push… through it.
D:
It’s the worst fucking epiphany ever. If I got that in a fortune cookie, I’d be fucking pissed. But it’s seriously all there is.
There’s nothing wrong with not wanting to write, if you ultimately decide it’s not for you.
BUT.
If you do want to write, or if there comes a time when you’re not content with reading, and… y'know, you’re willing to indulge me, random fanfic lady on the internet, I want you to do this:
Pick up the pen (or put your fingers to the keyboard, but if you can, I recommend pen because you can’t backspace pen and paper) and eke out some words every day.
It doesn’t have to be a lot. It might just be a sentence.
Whiskyrunner, who we all generally acknowledge to be amazeballs, went through a period where her goal was 10 words a day because she knew she could achieve that.
That’s important. Pick a word count that you know you can achieve, not one you have to push yourself to achieve, because if you fail, you will self-flagellate. Trust me, I have been there. I hated every son of a bitch who recommended ‘write every day’, because for every day I failed to write a page, I’d hate myself a little more, and the joy I found in writing would shrink. (And they’d always recommend a page, or pages, and I’d be like, ‘What, motherfucker? There are some days when I can’t summon up the energy to get out of bed, and you want me to write a page? Pages?’ There should be some script that edits ‘write every day’ to ‘write an amount that’s achievable for you every day, even if it’s one sentence’, I think.)
Write until you hit your word goal or until you’re satisfied, whichever you have the mental energy and fortitude for that day. If there’s a day where you do the latter, don’t fall into the trap of thinking you have to match that the next day. Don’t move the goal posts. Your goal is still (X) words. Everything beyond that is like the stretch goal on a Kickstarter. Nice, but not the main aim.
Next (and this is the hard part - or, at least, it was for me: do nothing.
Don’t tweak them. Don’t delete them. Don’t touch them.
The second you hit your goal, close the doc, close your notebook - whatever you write in. You did it, you achieved the goal, which is ‘(X) number of words’.
Do whatever you need to do to remind yourself of that.
Your goal is not '100 (or 50 or 25 or 10) good words a day’. Your goal is words.
Just words.
To paraphrase Bane: now is not the time for qualitative judgement, only quantitative. Right now, you’re at the 'digging up the clay’ stage of the writing process. You’re just trying to get enough clay to sculpt into some lumpy-looking motherfucker which you will eventually carve down into your nice sculpture.
(Don’t think about the sculpture right now. Think about (X) number of words, and digging up clay.)
There was a point where I did all sorts of objectively bizarre things to remind myself of this, and to outfox my anxiety-ridden brain and its need to edit, including, but not limited to:
- writing on a fresh page each day, even if it meant 90% of the preceding page was still blank
- opening new docs each day to write my daily goal (which I would then have to piece together later, haha)
- using that program - ilys? - that only lets you see the last letter of what you typed
- muttering to myself ‘the goal is (X) words. the goal is (X) words. the goal is (X) words. only the number of words matters. only the number.’
If you’re anything like me (and, hey, I felt your message on a deep level, so I think we’re at least a little alike), you will hate every word you write with this process. You will hate this process, period. You will want to go back and retool the words because holy fuck, what if someone, somehow, gets access to your notes and sees this mess you just eked out? What if you die, and all that’s left to show of yourself as a writer is this half-written piece of shit?
(Okay, maybe that last fear is just me.)
Still. This is normal.
But how you feel about your writing immediately after writing it is not an objective, accurate measure of how good it is. You’ll be tired, you’ll be stressed, you’ll be comparing it to the image you have in your head and thinking about how far apart they are and despairing.
Stop there.
Close the doc (or the notepad, or the notebook, or turn over the post-it note (I did that at one stage, too - writing on post-it notes, haha)). You did it, you wrote the words. You dug up some clay. No one will see them but you, and whoever you choose to show them to. You can edit them later. You can make them better, or throw out whole paragraphs or whole pages if you need to. But later. Only after you finish the draft, however many new pages or new docs (or post-it notes) it takes.
Try to be kind to yourself. It’s so damn hard, I know it is, but try to remind yourself that what you wrote for the day does not define you as a writer. Even the finished, edited work does not define you. It just shows what you were capable of writing in that moment, on that day, at that point in time.
I can’t guarantee this will work for you. But there is something to be said for habit, for retraining one’s brain (to a certain extent). If you do want to try writing again, and you try this, anon, know that I’ll be proud of you, and I’ll salute you for the very act of trying.
Much love,
Sib
(P.S.: Here, I recovered a partial copy of the very first draft I wrote of Persistence. I don’t know where the rest is (on paper, probably), but hopefully it’s enough for you to see the difference between draft and finished work, and to… idk, have a good chuckle, maybe, but hopefully feel reassured, too ;). We all write shitty first drafts. They’re the clay that you mould into something better.)
They’re two levels down, in a sunny, light-filled build meant to evoke the mark’s childhood home and favourite holiday spot, when the windows and the door and the fucking walls blow in, and a SWAT team swarms in like a tide of gun-toting ants.
(DUST, STUFF FLYING EVERYWHERE. YELLING. CHUNK OF PLASTER GOES FLYING TOWARDS EAMES.)
Eames ducks, which means the chunk of plaster misses him, but, unfortunately, takes out Cixin, their extractor, with a wet crunch. They’ll have to work on Cixin’s spatial awareness later, Eames thinks.
The SWAT team levels their guns at the remainder of Eames’ team. Even a few years ago, Eames might’ve considered running. Now, he just raises his hands, gets down on the ground when ordered to.
Everyone else runs.
There’s sporadic gunfire, the sound of running footsteps, truncated screams and cut off swearing as Eames’ team is violently kicked out, one by one.
Eames stays where he is until silence reigns.
(FOOTSTEPS, A GUN MUZZLE AGAINST EAMES’ BACK, BUT NO SHOT COMES.)
Eames peeks upward, just in time to see the leader of the SWAT team yanks his mask off, revealing Arthur’s exasperated, sweaty face.
“I can’t believe you’re working today, of all days,” Arthur says. “I should probably shoot you just for that.”
“But you won’t.” Eames rolls over onto his back, smiles his most charming smile as he gets to his feet. “And you have to admit it’s somewhat fitting, me working today.”
Arthur smiles fondly, diluting the exasperation. “Maybe.” He looks Eames up and down. “You look good.”
“You’re lying, but thank you,” Eames says. He nods at Arthur’s outfit. “That looks good on you.”
Arthur is inspecting his outfit. “You know, this wouldn’t be a bad disguise, if you were working on an opposing team. Make the other team think you’re the mark’s militarisation–”
“Stop right there.”
“What?” Arthur says. “Worried you’ll be tempted away from the side of the angels?”
“Worried I’ll be tempted away from my regular paycheck, anyway,” Eames says, sniffing.
Arthur chuckles, then nods upward. “Are they going to give you the kick soon?”
“Not just yet. They’re probably debating whether or not I’ve gotten to the safe or not.”
“You need to get on top of that,” Arthur says. “You can’t have your team hesitating over what to do next on live jobs.”
#anon#anon reply#long post#text post#very very long post#navel gazing#writing#writing is hard#do it anyway
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I'VE BEEN PONDERING WEALTH
If I encourage too many people to apply to Y Combinator suffer from a common problem: choosing a small, dark, noisy apartment in order to be successful. And put this kind of project. One is that individual rowers don't see any result from working harder. Louis Brandeis said We may have democracy, or we may have wealth concentrated in the hands of a few thousand people, the most accurate measure of the relative power of programming languages, is that source code will look unthreatening. So whatever it costs to establish a mediocre university, for an additional half billion or so you could have a great one. The companies that rule Silicon Valley now are all descended in various ways from Shockley Semiconductor. But even so I'd advise startups to pull a Meraki initially if they can just hire enough people it somehow will be. They work well enough in everyday life are fuzzy, and break down if pushed too hard. One is to ask yourself the question: what do you wish there was? Which they deserve because they're taking more risk. That's the absent-minded professor, who forgets to shave, or eat, or even perhaps look where he's going while he's thinking about some interesting question. In fact, it could actually be very profitable.
The other big driver of change is that startups are popping up like crazy, the number of big hits grow linearly with the total number of new startups? Wealth is not the only way to say whether something is really old or not is by looking at structural evidence, and structurally philosophy is young; it's still reeling from the unexpected breakdown of words. He didn't think he was starting a company? Now I'd go further: now I'd say it's hard to do a really good job on anything you don't think you're smart enough to start a startup, though. If you're a founder, what you need to use a completely different kind of selling. Which means every teenage kid a wants a computer with an Internet connection, b has an incentive to figure out what you like is to look at what you enjoy as guilty pleasures. And it's not only programs that should be insanely great, but the pain of having this stupid controversy constantly reintroduced as the top one in my mind. If you're demoing something web-based database as a system to allow people to collaboratively leverage the value of the work done by small groups. Wealth is stuff we want: food, clothes, houses, cars, gadgets, travel to interesting places, and so its size is proportionate to risk. Pascal is too wimpy for systems programming. And yet eminent professors were writing books about them, and startups can operate from anywhere nowadays.
A complex macro may have to save many times its own length to be justified.1 Talent probably matters more in types of work that depend more on talent are always more admirable. Com, the new CEO wanted to switch to plan B if plan A isn't working. The failed startups you hear most about are the spectactular flameouts.2 And this form of list may be more useful in practice. The business model is just a guess, but my motives are purely selfish. No one after reading Aristotle's Metaphysics does anything differently as a result.3
Whereas if the next hot company didn't take VC at all. The scary thing about platforms is that there are a lot of wiggle room.4 Others, like mowing the lawn, or filing tax returns, only get worse if you put them off. If a fairly good hacker is worth $80,000 per year. When I was in grad school in Boston, a friend came to visit from New York. The other implication of the organic growth hypothesis is that succinctness is power, or is there something unique about it? If you sell your car, you'll get more for it. Most startups coming out of Demo Day wanted to raise. Intellectually, it is at least a pure one. In that form it only had a potential market of a few thousand people, the average rower is likely to be more readable than a line of Basic is likely to be pretty average. I describe it as an opportunity is that there is now a lot of obstacles.
When wealth is talked about in this context, it is often described as a pie. Whereas if investors seem hot, you can get is by selling your startup in the early versions of the list, because nearly all the founders are just out of college. I began with was that, except in pathological examples, I would be learning what was really what. They're responding to the market. Fortunately, more and more startups will. But there is a role for mathematical elegance: some kinds of elegance make programs easier to understand. You could have both now. You may notice a certain similarity between the Viaweb and Y Combinator logos. And the way founders end up in it is by comparison with other startups. Someone is going to read a lot of people, I like to work, just as a sailboat can sail closer to the Apple type than the Viaweb type. In other words, time-sharing is back. I understand why Berkeley is probably not an anomaly.
The acceleration would have been harder to. Venture investors, however, which makes me think I was wrong to emphasize demos so much before. Not necessarily. That has been the lesson for me: be careful what you let become critical to you. We should fix those things. Stripe delivered instant merchant accounts to its first users was that the founders manually signed them up for traditional merchant accounts behind the scenes. Well, server-based applications on Windows.
Most people who get rich through rent-seeking of various forms, and a third was acquired that we can't figure out how to make a fortune in finance. Young people don't want to be spending all your time talking to executives at cell phone companies, trying to arrange deals. If someone sat down and wrote a web browser that didn't suck a fine idea, by the way, the world would be that much richer. If by the next time you need to launch? You know what a throwaway program is: something you write quickly for some limited task. And if they do, they may find that founders have moved on. Even as high as 100. The Pebbles assembled the first several hundred watches themselves. Partly because there's so much work to be done by bad programmers is choosing the wrong platform. Yeah, sure, but first you have to go out and talk to a startup that's been operating for thousands of years.5 It has nothing to do with anything as complex as an image of a person, for example, will suddenly find that the house needs cleaning.
A stage. Try to get yourself to work on it. But if you're starting a startup down into the noise. That will tend to underestimate the power of something is how well it achieves its purpose, then the ambitious ones won't have many ambitious peers. One thing we can say, which are the most general truths? Errands are so effective at killing great projects that a lot of equally good startups that actually didn't happen. Ruby: Perl is a kludge. Why should language design be any different? Western philosophy really begins with Socrates, Plato, and particularly Aristotle, this tradition turned a corner. The main reason may be that they aren't. The advantage of a medium of exchange is that it isn't succinct enough, and when you did invest in a startup hub, because economically that's what startups are.6
Notes
There's comparatively little competition for mediocre ideas, just that if you're good you'll have to decide whether you're a YC startup you can help in deciding between success and failure, just those you can see the old version, I mean no more willing to put it here. Obviously, if your school sucks, where you currently are. The solution for this.
This must have been truer to the traditional peasant's diet: they had zero false positives caused by blacklists, I should add that none of your last round just converts into stock at the network level, and they unanimously said yes.
Which is fundraising.
There are situations in which only a few percent from an interview, I'd say the rate of improvement is more efficient: the separate condenser.
Possible exception: It's hard for us. Some urban renewal experts took a painfully long time. Founders are often surprised by this, but it's hard to say whether the 25 people have historically been so many people mistakenly think it might be a product of number of words: I remember about the prior probability of an FBI agent or taxi driver or reporter to being a train car that in New York. There may be the technology business.
It's hard to measure that turns out to be the right sort of things you want as an idea that was really only useful for one video stream.
Thanks to Marc Andreessen, Karen Nguyen, David Hornik, Sarah Harlin, many others, Marc Hedlund, Ivan Kirigin, Robert Morris, and Steve Melendez for sharing their expertise on this topic.
#automatically generated text#Markov chains#Paul Graham#Python#Patrick Mooney#startups#Y#wiggle#thousands#hands#computer#founder#type#Com#length#something#YC#Young#programming#lot#time#words#success#York
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Here are the 20 Coolest Undercut Pixie Cuts I've Found
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Here are the 20 Coolest Undercut Pixie Cuts I've Found
An undercut pixie cut is a ladies haircut with the sides or back shaved and separated from the short hair. In essence, it's an edgy cut that unites and invents two bold, versatile and sporty hairstyles to satisfy fashion-savvy rocker chicks.
There's nothing left to ask for from this low-maintenance look that gives a strong, yet feminine image. Although the short length, there are many styles you can go – pony, messy coif, and even a faux hawk!
You will be able to hold extreme cool-girl vibes with the help of some and achieve styling products like waxes and clay. Plus, dyeing your cropped hair with trendy fashion colors could complete the look.
Notable personalities who carried this androgynous style safely are Miley Cyrus, Katy Perry and Scarlett Johansson. San Antonio hair stylist David Solis does some of his insane work on pixie cuts with undercut and vivid colors, and you're definitely going to die!
It's Convenient, Flashy and Modern – If you need more reasons why you should get an undercut pixie, check out these popular pics below for your inspiration:
Nice for Thick Hair
How would you look this?
I love this elegant undercut pixie haircut because it's creative – a twist on an already edgy look. This is a double undercut pixie, as there is a clipper cut undercut, and at the top is a layered undercut with a separate top section that falls over both. The whole thing is shattered with a razor, so it's extra piece and punk rock. She can wear it upside down on both sides, messy like a lingerie and wear, or hit it with a hot tool to soften the look.
Any advice for someone considering it?
If you want to try something different, this is a great fun cut to rock. Minimal product usage and fast styling time make it super fun and versatile. Keeping to the shape is a pretty standard 6-week haircut appointment.
The funny part about the cut off layer is that you can come between the cuts and have the shaved so you get the most wear as the rest of the shape gets longer.
Straight, wavy or curly ladies (or boys) can wear it for any texture with a different look. If you have a lot of hair, the razor helps to collapse the shape so that it looks lived.
I could advise against this cut on someone with an extreme amount of hair or on someone who is not sure if you have short hair with your face shape, because depending on personal expectations, it might not fit with what you imagine. But for the most part, I think if you want to wear something, you should just do it. At the end of the day it's your hair and you should rock it the way you want it.
Long pixie
How would you look this?
This cut is a combination of a long pixie undercut that first started with clippers – with a number two guard and worked me down to a zero for your fade. In order to give the angled gaze for the upper part, I pulled everything back so that the pieces around your face gradually got longer. Cut the back directly above your occipital bone gives a nice shape (side profile) and volume. I overlaid the top and added a bunch of texture, so when styled, it does not fall flat.
The undercut pixie haircut with the Platinum blonde highlights adds another layer of wow, especially when you're trying to go an updated and easier way to switch from full color to highlights to blend in the gray. I cut out parts of your hair to get the maximum amount of blonde I could get to mix your gray, but still room for your natural color at the roots, so the grows out look intentionally (shadow rooted) ,
This look is so liberating, as most people do not have the guts to cut off half their hair. I love that this look has given my friend so much faith. My favorite part is that it turns heads! Not only does it make fun as a stylist to create that look, but I like to hear how many compliments she gets.
Any advice for someone considering it?
My client and friend is a mother of three, but can rock this edgy, modern look. Because you only have half a head of hair to deal with, having a busy lifestyle is a simple hairstyle! All you have to do is use a toning shampoo to hold the blonde, throw some uplifting foam and blow dry for volume. You can use a small round brush to lift the maximum amount of lift and my favorite thing to do is to piece with a light paste of aquage and define the strands of hair.
This finishing touch makes a big difference in the look! I would recommend this haircut to anyone because it is really customizable for you. Although my client has an oval face, someone with a round face can peel it off by leaving the edge a little longer to balance the look. You can leave your hair undyed, but the blonde really adds texture to my customer's naturally textured hair. From curly hair, straight, fine to thick, if you want to be released, I would suggest asking your stylist for this long / pixie undercut!
Cool undercut with design
How would you look this?
Undercuts can be a versatile look. It may be for those who want to reflect on their inner personality and for those who are looking to just control underlying styling issues such as cowlicks that were limiting a previous style.
My favorite part about undercuts is that every undercut is unique! It can stand out for the customer who wants to "whisper, talk or scream" for about 2 weeks before it comes out. You can not see the design, so you can change it faster than a person who only wants to dust every 6-12 weeks.
Any advice for someone considering it?
Although an undercut is pretty cool, consider the stylist who has the art of cutting it! Remember to have the ability to pay for that particular cut, because not everyone can draw! Do your research and make sure you have the budget for it. Also, if you have longer hair (past the shoulder length, etc.), consider consulting with your stylist!
Some people are totally married to their length and for whatever reason just want a drastic change just for a moment! This is a red flag for many US stylists! In most cases, consultations are free, and the discussion can be dismissed over your experience with the crowd, product choice to achieve the style, whether the cut will fit your entire profile, and to what you had in mind with many and many pictures to refer! Remember, it will take one and a half to three years for you to grow up again, which you have lost in length!
Upkeep is sometimes a problem as an undercut design is a high maintenance cut and a high dollar! Can you afford to keep your design on hand with the right products every 2-3 weeks? Or do you mind extending it to 5 weeks like a man's haircut and just touching it? Either way, you know your hair is going to grow again someday, and to keep the "cool" in it, you have to take care of it!
Undercut with rear view
How would you look this?
This look is an undercut with scissors over the crest on the sides and back, highly absorbed. The top is quite heavy, but with texture added in the ends as well as with the color. It was then vorgeleuchtet.
I love this look because it is very flexible, how it can be styled. There are far more variable styles than people might think. Here I added a few soft curves with a wand and lifted the front into a quiff. It can also be flatter and straighter for a sleek chic finish or messed up for a ruffled look.
We also play around with different toners, because on the preloaded hair, the overall picture can be changed with a different tone. We have used silver, blue, pink and peaches.
Any advice for someone considering it?
Be brave and go for it! This customer gets as many compliments on your hair as it is a statement and reflects your personality. She finds it easy to style with a small amount of products, maybe a styling paste or powder and a good shampoo and conditioner to keep the tone.
Super short undercut Pixie
How would you look this?
It's a feminine version of the trendy crop haircut with more length around the crown to build a mass that would create a bit more roundness, rather than keeping you too straight, as you would with a man. I also have a lot of texture on top, so you would be able to style in different ways. It's important to educate your customers how to style their hair. Never assume that you already know it.
What I love most about it is how it pulls you off. Not every woman would dare to rock a skin with super short bangs and yet women with soft and soft features seem to be the best candidates!
Any advice for someone considering it?
Consider the direction of your hair growth. Take care, as the pony are styled forward and not to the side. It is a very low maintenance that you have to update every 3/4 weeks.
As for products, I like to use a matte paste on wet hair, then dry it with a hair dryer and do it a bit with your fingers. This creates texture and a natural finish with just enough hold. My favorite is poker paste from L 'Oréal Professional.
Ideal for a round face
How would you look this?
The cut is buzzing and pales throughout the area under the crown with one side with longer protection on the side of the crown buzzing. The "shorter" side is completely exposed. The other side has a cheek length fringe that is blended into the shorter hair at the back of the head. The cut is sculpted with a shaved, hard part that shares the faded, exposed side and the longer edge.
Despite the fact that one side is constantly exposed, my favorite thing about this cut is versatility. When the fringe is about cheek-length, it can be worn and worn over the face, in a touch of the face and / or behind the ear or pushed back. Each style may reflect a different look and a different kind of edge or softness. Another advantage when it comes to this cut is that it can work with any hair color from natural tones to bright colors. If you feel comfortable with the faded side showing the natural color, the fringe can be colored a funnier color.
Any advice for someone considering it?
I would say that styling products are important to wear this haircut. My personal preference is a frizz control serum directly after washing and conditioning the hair. When it comes to styling it, be it the downtrend or quiff, I choose a hair wax to end the style and hairspray.
The versatility of this cut makes it a pleasure to style. It offers many styling options. I would base the style on a face shape and personal needs. Styling this cut takes a lot of time and effort. I would not call it a low-maintenance pixie. Styling and care require frequent trims. It's a learning curve when it comes to playing with it and adapting to it, but it's definitely worth the work!
In my personal experience, I find this cut to match thick hair, as most of the hair is cut off. For this cut, thin hair might look a little tight. With thick hair, the fringe still looks full and structured. However, it would work on both curly and straight hair.
I believe that you can pull off any haircut with any face shape if you have the confidence to work it! So if you have a long face, you prefer to keep some length on the sides to balance the look.
It is true that this cut is not for the faint of heart. You definitely have to be emotionally prepared to wear this look. It can help boost your confidence. Despite how short it is, it's not a wash-and-go haircut. The wearer would need to be able to allocate time to style it for the day.
Overall, if you are thinking of getting this cut, it can be scary, but I would recommend the jump. It gets more attention and compliments than you would think and can be very flattering.
Pixie cut with pony
Go Hack All With This Short! Curl it up while it avant-garde with a pixie cut with fringes and undercut to hold.
Trendy Gray Colored Pixie
If you have hair so cool, you do not need a statement because that says it all! The cool-toned ashy color works surprisingly for many skin tones, ideal for trying out an edgy style.
Texture cut for thin hair
Work around these castles and create layers and layers for texture. Mix in some color options for depth and extra attitude.
Blonde Pixie Submissing Fade
How would you look this?
The look is considered an unmistakable undercut. What makes this particular undercut is the fading of the skin. I love showing clients that skin is not just faded for men. Fades can be used to express strong and confident femininity from the person wearing the cut, especially when the bland is coupled with a dramatic style.
Any advice for someone considering it?
Fades These close are usually not in a salon but in a hair salon. Creating clean sections, the right hand position for height and distribution, and adding texture to personalize the top of the cut with scissors are as important as knowing how to fade. My advice to anyone looking to replicate this cut would be to see a barber who is a salon / stylist background.
Remember, there is no hairstyle for men or women. A haircut is defined by the person who wears it. Stay strong!
Undercut Pixie Haircut With Cute Pony
How would you look this?
This is a bare faded pixie cut, which is very textured and broken in the upper hair, but very soft in the faded sides and neck. It will grow nicely because there are no hard cuts. The color is a rose gold tone on the highlighted upper hair.
Any advice for someone considering it?
If you are looking for a bold but soft look for a short hairstyle, avoid hard lines and bend the weight line in the fade. As for styling products, I would use clay for a dry, structured, lived look.
Shaved pages
Reduce the excitement of styling by changing your hair style! Ideal for easy maintenance and also gives a new look.
Pixie with long pony
Layers combed above the face make long bangs. Pixie cuts usually use pony to create a wonderful balance of lengths.
Platinum pixie
Enrich your already flawless facial features with a stylish undercut pixie with side bangs.
Underbid Asymmetric Pixie
With this kind of short pixie cut with lines, I say, go big or go home, am I right?
Underbid Edgy Pixie
A short hairstyle often spells confidence. With an undercut and a wild hair color, it definitely emanates a certain amount of extra and glam in one.
Curly Pixie Underbid
The waves and curls add to the texture of the entire pixie cut undercut and complement length, layers and color.
Perfect Thin Hair Pixie
The petite girl's guide to looking like a doll: beautiful pony, purple hair and a super short pixie haircut!
Undercut Pixie Bob
I'm sure every hair length would be beautiful for you right now. But there is something about a short pixie bob with an undercut that will surely pull out your wild side.
Underbid Asymmetric Pixie
A cut as short as a pixie could really liven up your face and reveal your sharp features. The undercut is the statement about that cut, which tends to make the disproportionate appearance an asset.
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Here are the 20 Coolest Undercut Pixie Cuts I've Found
An undercut pixie cut is a ladies haircut with the sides or back shaved and separated from the short hair. In essence, it's an edgy cut that unites and invents two bold, versatile and sporty hairstyles to satisfy fashion-savvy rocker chicks.
There's nothing left to ask for from this low-maintenance look that gives a strong, yet feminine image. Although the short length, there are many styles you can go – pony, messy coif, and even a faux hawk!
You will be able to hold extreme cool-girl vibes with the help of some and achieve styling products like waxes and clay. Plus, dyeing your cropped hair with trendy fashion colors could complete the look.
Notable personalities who carried this androgynous style safely are Miley Cyrus, Katy Perry and Scarlett Johansson. San Antonio hair stylist David Solis does some of his insane work on pixie cuts with undercut and vivid colors, and you're definitely going to die!
It's Convenient, Flashy and Modern – If you need more reasons why you should get an undercut pixie, check out these popular pics below for your inspiration:
Nice for Thick Hair
How would you look this?
I love this elegant undercut pixie haircut because it's creative – a twist on an already edgy look. This is a double undercut pixie, as there is a clipper cut undercut, and at the top is a layered undercut with a separate top section that falls over both. The whole thing is shattered with a razor, so it's extra piece and punk rock. She can wear it upside down on both sides, messy like a lingerie and wear, or hit it with a hot tool to soften the look.
Any advice for someone considering it?
If you want to try something different, this is a great fun cut to rock. Minimal product usage and fast styling time make it super fun and versatile. Keeping to the shape is a pretty standard 6-week haircut appointment.
The funny part about the cut off layer is that you can come between the cuts and have the shaved so you get the most wear as the rest of the shape gets longer.
Straight, wavy or curly ladies (or boys) can wear it for any texture with a different look. If you have a lot of hair, the razor helps to collapse the shape so that it looks lived.
I could advise against this cut on someone with an extreme amount of hair or on someone who is not sure if you have short hair with your face shape, because depending on personal expectations, it might not fit with what you imagine. But for the most part, I think if you want to wear something, you should just do it. At the end of the day it's your hair and you should rock it the way you want it.
Long pixie
How would you look this?
This cut is a combination of a long pixie undercut that first started with clippers – with a number two guard and worked me down to a zero for your fade. In order to give the angled gaze for the upper part, I pulled everything back so that the pieces around your face gradually got longer. Cut the back directly above your occipital bone gives a nice shape (side profile) and volume. I overlaid the top and added a bunch of texture, so when styled, it does not fall flat.
The undercut pixie haircut with the Platinum blonde highlights adds another layer of wow, especially when you're trying to go an updated and easier way to switch from full color to highlights to blend in the gray. I cut out parts of your hair to get the maximum amount of blonde I could get to mix your gray, but still room for your natural color at the roots, so the grows out look intentionally (shadow rooted) ,
This look is so liberating, as most people do not have the guts to cut off half their hair. I love that this look has given my friend so much faith. My favorite part is that it turns heads! Not only does it make fun as a stylist to create that look, but I like to hear how many compliments she gets.
Any advice for someone considering it?
My client and friend is a mother of three, but can rock this edgy, modern look. Because you only have half a head of hair to deal with, having a busy lifestyle is a simple hairstyle! All you have to do is use a toning shampoo to hold the blonde, throw some uplifting foam and blow dry for volume. You can use a small round brush to lift the maximum amount of lift and my favorite thing to do is to piece with a light paste of aquage and define the strands of hair.
This finishing touch makes a big difference in the look! I would recommend this haircut to anyone because it is really customizable for you. Although my client has an oval face, someone with a round face can peel it off by leaving the edge a little longer to balance the look. You can leave your hair undyed, but the blonde really adds texture to my customer's naturally textured hair. From curly hair, straight, fine to thick, if you want to be released, I would suggest asking your stylist for this long / pixie undercut!
Cool undercut with design
How would you look this?
Undercuts can be a versatile look. It may be for those who want to reflect on their inner personality and for those who are looking to just control underlying styling issues such as cowlicks that were limiting a previous style.
My favorite part about undercuts is that every undercut is unique! It can stand out for the customer who wants to "whisper, talk or scream" for about 2 weeks before it comes out. You can not see the design, so you can change it faster than a person who only wants to dust every 6-12 weeks.
Any advice for someone considering it?
Although an undercut is pretty cool, consider the stylist who has the art of cutting it! Remember to have the ability to pay for that particular cut, because not everyone can draw! Do your research and make sure you have the budget for it. Also, if you have longer hair (past the shoulder length, etc.), consider consulting with your stylist!
Some people are totally married to their length and for whatever reason just want a drastic change just for a moment! This is a red flag for many US stylists! In most cases, consultations are free, and the discussion can be dismissed over your experience with the crowd, product choice to achieve the style, whether the cut will fit your entire profile, and to what you had in mind with many and many pictures to refer! Remember, it will take one and a half to three years for you to grow up again, which you have lost in length!
Upkeep is sometimes a problem as an undercut design is a high maintenance cut and a high dollar! Can you afford to keep your design on hand with the right products every 2-3 weeks? Or do you mind extending it to 5 weeks like a man's haircut and just touching it? Either way, you know your hair is going to grow again someday, and to keep the "cool" in it, you have to take care of it!
Undercut with rear view
How would you look this?
This look is an undercut with scissors over the crest on the sides and back, highly absorbed. The top is quite heavy, but with texture added in the ends as well as with the color. It was then vorgeleuchtet.
I love this look because it is very flexible, how it can be styled. There are far more variable styles than people might think. Here I added a few soft curves with a wand and lifted the front into a quiff. It can also be flatter and straighter for a sleek chic finish or messed up for a ruffled look.
We also play around with different toners, because on the preloaded hair, the overall picture can be changed with a different tone. We have used silver, blue, pink and peaches.
Any advice for someone considering it?
Be brave and go for it! This customer gets as many compliments on your hair as it is a statement and reflects your personality. She finds it easy to style with a small amount of products, maybe a styling paste or powder and a good shampoo and conditioner to keep the tone.
Super short undercut Pixie
How would you look this?
It's a feminine version of the trendy crop haircut with more length around the crown to build a mass that would create a bit more roundness, rather than keeping you too straight, as you would with a man. I also have a lot of texture on top, so you would be able to style in different ways. It's important to educate your customers how to style their hair. Never assume that you already know it.
What I love most about it is how it pulls you off. Not every woman would dare to rock a skin with super short bangs and yet women with soft and soft features seem to be the best candidates!
Any advice for someone considering it?
Consider the direction of your hair growth. Take care, as the pony are styled forward and not to the side. It is a very low maintenance that you have to update every 3/4 weeks.
As for products, I like to use a matte paste on wet hair, then dry it with a hair dryer and do it a bit with your fingers. This creates texture and a natural finish with just enough hold. My favorite is poker paste from L 'Oréal Professional.
Ideal for a round face
How would you look this?
The cut is buzzing and pales throughout the area under the crown with one side with longer protection on the side of the crown buzzing. The "shorter" side is completely exposed. The other side has a cheek length fringe that is blended into the shorter hair at the back of the head. The cut is sculpted with a shaved, hard part that shares the faded, exposed side and the longer edge.
Despite the fact that one side is constantly exposed, my favorite thing about this cut is versatility. When the fringe is about cheek-length, it can be worn and worn over the face, in a touch of the face and / or behind the ear or pushed back. Each style may reflect a different look and a different kind of edge or softness. Another advantage when it comes to this cut is that it can work with any hair color from natural tones to bright colors. If you feel comfortable with the faded side showing the natural color, the fringe can be colored a funnier color.
Any advice for someone considering it?
I would say that styling products are important to wear this haircut. My personal preference is a frizz control serum directly after washing and conditioning the hair. When it comes to styling it, be it the downtrend or quiff, I choose a hair wax to end the style and hairspray.
The versatility of this cut makes it a pleasure to style. It offers many styling options. I would base the style on a face shape and personal needs. Styling this cut takes a lot of time and effort. I would not call it a low-maintenance pixie. Styling and care require frequent trims. It's a learning curve when it comes to playing with it and adapting to it, but it's definitely worth the work!
In my personal experience, I find this cut to match thick hair, as most of the hair is cut off. For this cut, thin hair might look a little tight. With thick hair, the fringe still looks full and structured. However, it would work on both curly and straight hair.
I believe that you can pull off any haircut with any face shape if you have the confidence to work it! So if you have a long face, you prefer to keep some length on the sides to balance the look.
It is true that this cut is not for the faint of heart. You definitely have to be emotionally prepared to wear this look. It can help boost your confidence. Despite how short it is, it's not a wash-and-go haircut. The wearer would need to be able to allocate time to style it for the day.
Overall, if you are thinking of getting this cut, it can be scary, but I would recommend the jump. It gets more attention and compliments than you would think and can be very flattering.
Pixie cut with pony
Go Hack All With This Short! Curl it up while it avant-garde with a pixie cut with fringes and undercut to hold.
Trendy Gray Colored Pixie
If you have hair so cool, you do not need a statement because that says it all! The cool-toned ashy color works surprisingly for many skin tones, ideal for trying out an edgy style.
Texture cut for thin hair
Work around these castles and create layers and layers for texture. Mix in some color options for depth and extra attitude.
Blonde Pixie Submissing Fade
How would you look this?
The look is considered an unmistakable undercut. What makes this particular undercut is the fading of the skin. I love showing clients that skin is not just faded for men. Fades can be used to express strong and confident femininity from the person wearing the cut, especially when the bland is coupled with a dramatic style.
Any advice for someone considering it?
Fades These close are usually not in a salon but in a hair salon. Creating clean sections, the right hand position for height and distribution, and adding texture to personalize the top of the cut with scissors are as important as knowing how to fade. My advice to anyone looking to replicate this cut would be to see a barber who is a salon / stylist background.
Remember, there is no hairstyle for men or women. A haircut is defined by the person who wears it. Stay strong!
Undercut Pixie Haircut With Cute Pony
How would you look this?
This is a bare faded pixie cut, which is very textured and broken in the upper hair, but very soft in the faded sides and neck. It will grow nicely because there are no hard cuts. The color is a rose gold tone on the highlighted upper hair.
Any advice for someone considering it?
If you are looking for a bold but soft look for a short hairstyle, avoid hard lines and bend the weight line in the fade. As for styling products, I would use clay for a dry, structured, lived look.
Shaved pages
Reduce the excitement of styling by changing your hair style! Ideal for easy maintenance and also gives a new look.
Pixie with long pony
Layers combed above the face make long bangs. Pixie cuts usually use pony to create a wonderful balance of lengths.
Platinum pixie
Enrich your already flawless facial features with a stylish undercut pixie with side bangs.
Underbid Asymmetric Pixie
With this kind of short pixie cut with lines, I say, go big or go home, am I right?
Underbid Edgy Pixie
A short hairstyle often spells confidence. With an undercut and a wild hair color, it definitely emanates a certain amount of extra and glam in one.
Curly Pixie Underbid
The waves and curls add to the texture of the entire pixie cut undercut and complement length, layers and color.
Perfect Thin Hair Pixie
The petite girl's guide to looking like a doll: beautiful pony, purple hair and a super short pixie haircut!
Undercut Pixie Bob
I'm sure every hair length would be beautiful for you right now. But there is something about a short pixie bob with an undercut that will surely pull out your wild side.
Underbid Asymmetric Pixie
A cut as short as a pixie could really liven up your face and reveal your sharp features. The undercut is the statement about that cut, which tends to make the disproportionate appearance an asset.
Here are the 20 Coolest Undercut Pixie Cuts I've Found
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