#I NEED IT FOR SURVIVAL
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i don't know if tumblr has seen this yet but this is honest to god my favorite video
#*slorps the sans foam*#(i need it to survive)#my icon lore#forgive me if this has already been posted but i needed it on my blog#undertale#utdr#sans
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Hot take maybe but I think Bertie would be FAR more likely to survive the first two months of Dracula than Jeeves would be. Bertie has a healthy sense of self-preservation. Jeeves consistently underestimates how dangerous a situation might get (Steeple Bumpleigh, the club book) because he’s overconfident about his level of control over any given situation. He'd handle Dracula masterfully if they faced off in England, but on Dracula's home turf? Much more doubtful.
I realize this might be a tough sell, so I will explain further (or it's not a tough sell, and I'm going to explain further because I want to). (criteria taken from @canyourfavesurvivecastledracula) Without further ado.
Would Jeeves and Wooster survive Castle Dracula?
Jeeves
Jeeves' survival will depend on how long Dracula finds him more entertaining than irritating. On that basis, I don't think he's long for this world. On the one hand, he has a huge wealth of knowledge about English society and culture that he can recite perfectly from memory. That should buy him at least a little time with noted teaboo Dracula.
On the other hand, he would be absolutely no fun as a vampire plaything. Jeeves cannot be got. Sneaking up on him while he's shaving will yield zero reaction (though that's at least good for his short-term survival--given that, although he DID take the crucifix from the old woman out of politeness, he certainly isn't going to wear it. The rules of fashion don't go out the window just because you're in a spooky castle). Then, although managing the whims of rich jerks is not an insignificant part of a valet's job, Jeeves usually does this by bending his employers to his will. Dracula is not the sort of employer this will work on. It'll just add insult to injury when on top of being impossible to scare, NOW Jeeves is telling Dracula that his favorite cloak is several centuries out of fashion and he's not allowed to wear it anymore.
Jeeves will 100% go exploring in the areas he was told not to go-- though to be fair, he MIGHT actually get away with this, what with his superpower of appearing in rooms without being seen or heard. Said superpower might save him from the brides as well (though this is by no means guaranteed). Since I find it doubtful that Dracula would come to rescue his annoying ass, not being noticed is his best defense.
There are a couple other things working in Jeeves's favor; the question is just whether they'll be enough to save him.
He DOES know shorthand, and could try to send coded letters. He might even have the foresight to squirrel away some extra stationary where Dracula can't find it. But could he get them posted? Would it even do him any good?
He certainly has enough cultural literacy to figure out what his new boss is pretty quickly. If he didn't chuck the crucifix out the carriage window, he might start carrying it around in his pocket.
Psychology of the individual, sure, but the individual in question is a 400-year-old vampire who lives in an isolated castle in a foreign country and is regarded as a terrifying mythological figure in the surrounding villages. Jeeves has never come up against anything this alien before, he's cut off from his normal resources, and opportunities to play people against each other are limited.
He probably has enough upper body strength from all that shrimping and fishing to climb the wall, so he COULD escape if he wanted to, if he survived long enough. It's just, again, that overconfidence, and also Dracula has a vast library full of rare old books that are entirely at his disposal. He's keeping his eyes and ears alert for potential escape strategies, of course, but I don't see him being as desperate to get out as Jonathan was.
There are just a lot of "depends on"s here, and I'm not convinced that luck would shake out in Jeeves's favor, all things considered.
Bertie
Bertie is so perfect for the job of Castle Dracula Prisoner it's like it was made for him. Think about it. Being held against his will in big manor houses comes more naturally to him than breathing. He's afraid of things that are scary. A lifetime of dealing with Aunt Agatha has made him the world's preeminent expert in "curl[ing] up in a ball in the hope that a meek subservience [will] enable [him] to get off lightly." He will NEVER go exploring in places he's been warned away from if nobody is forcing him to (Rev. Aubrey Upjohn's office notwithstanding. There were biscuits in there). He's both fun to talk to and easy to toy with (and extremely English). A+ prisoner. Dracula adores him.
In my opinion, Bertie is at Castle Dracula either because Aunt Agatha got some wires seriously crossed and thinks he’s going to meet an eligible potential bride (I mean, there are certainly brides there), or because Dracula has something Aunt Dahlia wants him to steal (far less likely, given that one of Dracula’s THINGS is famously not owning anything silver). Either way, he's shown himself entirely willing and able to escape down drainpipes if a sitch gets too scaly.
He DOES take the crucifix, and DOES wear it (which is what will save him during the shaving scene, because you KNOW he's going to jump a foot and cut himself like the dickens). He's read enough supernatural goosefleshers to be genre savvy about terrified old women cryptically pushing crucifixes into one's hands. I also think his sunny disposish endeared him to the villagers, and they were particularly vehement about urging him not to go. He doesn't speak German or Romanian, but he's empathetic enough to recognize Pure Terror. So by the time he actually gets to the castle, his imagination is already running wild and he's plenty aware that he is in imminent danger.
I think the biggest risk to Bertie will be the brides; whether or not he's susceptible to trances, if he thinks they're trying to marry him, it's against the code of the Woosters to turn them down. But that only becomes an issue if he comes face to face with them, which, luckily, I think is unlikely on account of the aforementioned "won't go exploring" (and if he did, Dracula would definitely rescue him).
I'm inclined to say due to his drainpipe-escape habits that he WOULD be able to climb the wall and MAY attempt to sneak into Dracula's room to look for the keys if his desperation grows to outweigh his fear. Whether he does or not, though, he does NOT have the stomach to attempt shovel murder, and therefore won't get magic brain fever, and may very well simply walk out the front doors when the people come to take the boxes away. OR he climbs his way out like Jonathan did. Either way.
When Bertie tells this story at the Drones later, Tuppy will say that no doubt it's been greatly exaggerated and all that probably happened was that he spent a couple months in an oldish house entertaining a weird loner.
#do YOU think jeeves and wooster would survive castle dracula? let me know in the comments!#they're in the castle separately instead of together because those are the rules ok#the isolation is key#though if anyone wants to speculate about what would happen if they went together i will NOT complain#i don't even know what's going on with the tenses in this post i'm sorry#//#jeeves and wooster#reginald jeeves#bertie wooster#dracula#do i need to tag dracula spoilers?#sure there are some people new to receiving letters from our good friend jonathan harker#here it is just in case:#dracula spoilers#i have done my due diligence
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retired 🩶
#call of duty#cod#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#soapghost#my art#listen this took me like two weeks so y'all better appreciate 🤌#johnny is the super active DIY father of the family#simon has made his way through all of the miss marple mysteries and has now set his sights on naval fiction#also growing his fringe out to hide the early onset baldness#johnny has gorgeous hair but we knew that#the dogs are called roger and wee albert--guess which is which#yes they all sleep in the same bed~#I guess I just need to see these two old and cranky and alive for whatever reason...#let them both burn in hell after a few good decades learning how to live beyond just surviving#god they probably make a banger pot roast....
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i'm sorry but i cannot stop thinking about it for reallll imagine you're richer than god and never had to face consequences for anything and you have so much money you don't even know what to do with it so you toss a quarter million at the stupidest tourism option on earth. and you see that the paper you have to sign tells you you could die and you look at the flimsy metal tube you're going to be plummeting into the ocean in and it doesn't even phase you because bad things don't happen to people like you. imagine some hours into the journey you realise something is wrong. maybe not you but somehow the knowledge that there was a fuckup becomes known to the 5 of you trapped in there. and you know you can't get out from the inside and you know you have no food and no bathroom and not even the room to ever stand up again. when does the realisation that your wealth cannot protect you from your inevitable mortality set in. how does someone like that reconcile with both death and the fact that it's 100% their own doing? can someone like this even come to terms with that or will they be fighting to find someone to blame until the last second? when does it reach you that all 5 of you are going to die one by one and there's nothing you can do? does the fact that 5 of you have enough air until thursday but one of you could have enough air until at least next week ever cross anyone's mind.
#it's so so so good i'm sorry it's literally such an insanely cool concept im literally frothing at the mouth here#i need to know what's going on in there so bad. but i don't want them to survive so#imagine if they did survive 😐 most insufferable ted talks on earth#oceangate#titanic#the titanic
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she’ll be alright because she had you.
#star wars#the bad batch#star wars the bad batch#sw tbb#the bad batch season 3#the bad batch season three spoilers#the bad batch season finale#tbb spoilers#tbb#tbb season 3#tbb hunter#sergeant hunter#just been thinking about hunter struggling to let omega go because he fears for her safety#it’s a big bad galaxy and he’s seen some of the worst of it#but i think he’d come around because he knows that he’s done all that he could to teach her to survive on her own#his love for her#the same love that makes him fear for her#is the very thing that gave him the strength and drive and dedication to give her all the tools she needed to mold herself into her own—#extremely capable person#idk i just think they’re beautiful and i miss them#apologies for waxing poetic (not really at all but it feels like i’m dumping— don’t know if anyone will even read this. oops. okay bye)#mods draws#mods art#my art
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with the way this is going bungou stray dogs will conclude in 2080 at seventy years old when everyone wins against the interplanetary alien Homer with the power of gay sex and friendship. and I'll still be reading it. and I will still make stupid theories. I will follow this series to the ends of the earth
#no matter what happens to me#I will survive getting hit by a car. drowning. cancer#because I need to read the last line of the manga#where dazai says “I cant believe we bungoed those stray dogs”#r some shit like that#I'll be in the old folks home#bungou stray dogs#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bsd dazai
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WHERE THE FUCK IS WAITING ROOM????
#WHERE DID IT GO#WHY IS IT GONE??#I NEED IT FOR SURVIVAL#if you were a waiting room i would never see a doctor id just sit there with my first aid kit and bleed?????
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Don't Wormy About Me.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#jiang cheng#wei wuxian#yu ziyuan#Please allow me to make it clear how important I think the hug between YZY and JC is in regards to several aspects of their characters#For one - it is the resolution and reveal that behind all the harsh words and bitterness...She really did love her son.#A hug is a soft gesture that you would never expect from someone like YZY and the fact she shows JC this affection now -#-Tells us how she knows that this upcoming battle is a death sentence for her.#Her giving away Zidan is honestly overkill but another sign of her truly showing him how she loves him and wants him to survive.#The dread of knowing she's walking back to a fight without zidian and trying to keep up brave face one last time...chilling.#Zidian represents legacy and promises. And this is going to both save and destroy Jiang Cheng as he carries this weight alone.#Heartbreaking stuff! Didn't draw it in the comic because I wanted to draw a silly worm on a string!#WWX tried to help JC out of the knot but got stuck in it.#Those worm on a string tricks are harder than they look!#Also; it's been about a year since the last boat joke - but indeed this is the 11th boat of pd-mdzs. No need to do the math.
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#I am very fond of the idea of Dazai getting EXTREMELY sappy once he’s completely comfortable in a relationship lol#also hiii I live! kind of struggling to adapt to my current schedule but I will survive once my brain gets the message that it needs sleep#anyway happy Valentine’s Day lol :D#bsd#my art#bsd chuuya#bsd dazai#bungou stray dogs#soukoku#skk
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must've lost her train of thought
#VEEERY quick comic for the farcille enjoyers out there#that panel of falin saying she doesnt care if it hurts others if marcille and laios survive... yeah#farcille#marcille donato#falin touden#dungeon meshi#my art#if there are mistakes here i do not see them. thank uou#delicious in dungeon#this didnt need ten pages but i like to draw big.. my bad
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19.2.24 🧋 almost three hours of studying with bubble tea and snacks and a friend ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
#done with my term paper yippee now i only need to survive the exam tomorrow#tw food#studyblr#langblr#aesthetic#study aesthetic#study inspiration#studying english literature#studying linguistics#studyspo#academia#jaystudies
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there's so much to read. there's too much to read. can everybody stop publishing for a few years while i catch up.
#i love people i LOVE people. could not survive without talking to ppl all day like i do now. good job to have.#HOWEVER#i need. like. 72 more hours a week just to read everything i want to read#GOD#notifications are off for this besties 🫡💋
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My Father's House (Springsteen on Broadway), Bruce Springsteen
#I need 911 writers to stop with the bobby lore unless it's happy lore#because good fucking lord bobby might survive yet another trauma but I wont survive watching it#anywayyy here's a lil bruce/bobby edit#911 abc#911 spoilers#911 edit#bobby nash#911 season 7#Bobby Nash edit#911edit#911 s7
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so funny how mikey's death in the ghost of you mv affected his development in the band's aesthetic through the years. like yeah mikey of course you get a badge of honor with your black parade uniform. you died in action. yeah you can't look old like us at wwwy. in fact you're gonna be a vampire. because you died at war in 2005. obviously
#this is herstory#my chemical romance#mcr#mikey way#gerard way#ray toro#frank iero#i do feel the need to clarify that i agree he looked like that because if the band had stayed that way he wouldn't have survived#this is just a silly ahah joke
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Fentons family's guide Section on being an evil assistant to a supervillain
_________________________________________
Fentons family's guide to being an evil assistant to a supervillain
Guide by Jazmin Fenton in case of employment with a supervillain.
Being an evil assistant or henchmen is surprisingly a very stable source of an income stream all things considered.
You just need to find a boss. A as in singular it's very important, who is pathetic and or stupid enough to constantly have their large scale plan failing even without the hero's Involvement.
And while their large scale plan for taking over the world with a weapon of mass destruction could be feasible if only they didn't think to actually use it. Using it to threaten the world leaders for sway is the correct way. It is the most unused method the one being used most is the method of actually using the weapon of mass destruction for mass destruction.
You as the evil assistant then have the responsibility to make sure that the villain doesn't/ can't use said device to destroy the world. The heroes can help. Later then take the blame for the failure absolving you of involvement.
Being a good evil assistant is babysitting the evil boss.
_________________________________pg 9___
"Oh man never thought I'd actually need to use the 'Fenton guide' Jazz made me." Danny mumbled quietly and heaved a sigh of relief when he had found it among his hastily packed together bag.
Jazz had been the one making both of their emergency bags when she had told him about the guide. He hadn't appreciated it then now he truly did now with everything going on.
God he missed Jazz so much. He wanted to see her so badly he wanted to hold her hand like when they were kids. He really wanted her hand to squeeze his back in reassurance that everything was going to be fine.
Danny tried holding back his sobs at the thought. He couldn't stop the mist in his eyes or his hands shaking holding the little booklet.
But he wanted her safe and far away from everything even more. He wanted his friends to be safe with his sister. It didn't matter if he had to be far away working getting those crystals every way he could think of. His friends and sister needed money to keep them safe, hidden and taken care of. They needed that money and crystals and if Danny had to choose between his morals and fright he would always choose his true family. Morals be damned.
• • •
He hadn't expected the costume to be so good in quality. That had surprised him the most the second being how easy it would be getting a job with villains. Turns out working as an "meta" henchmen who knew everything from fighting to logistics and machinery was a rarity in this dimension. Who would have guessed it with all the metas and enhanced humans going about? And omg they even have aliens in this dimension!
Getting the money for the crystals had been going surprisingly smoothly. Everything had been going so smoothly that of course it had to be ruined! The villain Danny was working for had gotten noticed and promptly got beat. Which meant he didn't have an employer anymore at least until a breakout was orchestrated. So no more job until then.
And Danny had finally managed his way to the middle hierarchy in that organization! Now he would need to go looking for evil henchmen positions again! It wasn't even a good season to go looking for openings in other organizations.
Damn it that bat furry in Gotham and his flock of birds. Don't they get how hard it is for a henchmen to find descant work!?
Maybe he should go with the duo villain and assistant type next time.
Thank you so much for reading I hope it was enjoyed!
Danny in the lair after having saved his villain boss from Batman after said villain had their scheme blown up in their face. Danny knew the plan would fail miserably but at this point he didn't care. He stopped trying to help when it came to schemes ages ago.
+Some art
Idk if I've posted this idea before but I've had this thing bouncing around in my head for a while.
#dpxdc#danny phantom#batman#danny fenton#Danny Fenton in Shego outfit working#he needs them money's#Evil henchmen/ assistant Danny#fanfic?#Danny getting work done#it surprises the rogues of Gotham#Red hood totally wants him for work reasons only (^ ^)#I need to use the sleep#Danny surviving on coffee and spite
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taemin: ah especially hyunjinnie, stray kids hyunjin... hyunjinnie! i felt a lot of support from him and im really thankful. we’ve become really close friends … hyunjinnie… we are becoming even closer. + bonus
#hyunjin#skz#stray kids#taemin#shinee#bystay#staydaily#hello u yes it looks like u need to think about taemin and hyunjin so u can survive the horrors of the day#gifs#I LOVE THEMMMMMMM#my Super Bowl and Roman Empire etc etc etc
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