Literally woke up, stared at my ceiling listening to sn tv for two hours and I’m gonna need like 3-5 business days to recover. There is not one coherent tought in here, just screams and lyrics and more screams. Idk what to do

Listening to old Brazilian love songs makes me think of zolu so much i am smiling so big rn. I want what they have.

They make me imagine them slowly dancing to one of those beautiful old salsa songs where they gently hold hands and move their bodies so slow, that they sweated terribly but still want to enjoy the warm sunny evening with the chilly breeze of the entire seas they sailed alone together while they hold and look at each other with endless love and big grins. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH AND I AM CRAZY OVER THEM.

Rin, identity issues, and the complications of being an isolated, alienated teenager

It feels sort of weird to say but I generally don’t head canon characters as having particular sexualities. Whatever people go for in fics is usually fine with me - gay, lesbian, bi, pan, something more general like queer. As long as it makes sense for the story they’ve built and the character they’ve shaped to fit it, I’m good. Unless you’re ignoring a canon LGBTQ+ sexuality, in which case, yeah, I’ll take issue with that.

But anyway. Rin.

I’ve got my personal ship for him (BonRin my beloved), but regardless of the pairing I see him as bisexual. He’s so open with his infatuation with Shiemi, and okay, sure, fandom likes to ignore the love interest in shounen for the most part because we’ve got gay ships to peddle. But I don’t see the point in that unless it really reads like it’s a front, or a result of a character suppressing themselves for one reason or another. And with Rin, I think it’s pretty clear his affection for Shiemi is sincere. You technically have the in-universe evidence of the demon that brought out his true desires to back that up, but even without it, Rin likes her. It’s complicated because of Yukio and Shiemi’s own inexperience with romance, and yet I never once doubt he really likes her.

That being said… he’s very appreciative of the guys in his life, too. (Peddling my gay ship here) Bon in particular, considering he’s often admiring how cool he thinks Bon is, that his haircut suits him whether it’s the blonde rooster look or the undercut. If you don’t want to see it as romantic interest, that’s your prerogative, but to me Rin comes across as seeing cool and cute as different traits he finds attractive (in Bon and Shiemi respectively).

I also think his bisexuality would fit neatly into his narrative struggles to “pass” throughout the early parts of the series. Rin has grown up as the neighborhood problem child, ostracized for being violent, and eventually he decides he’s fine with just his brother and his father — and the rest of the monastery, presumably — for company. (Except that’s absolutely not true and clearly he’s starved for friendship and support.) People looked at him and saw a monster, even before his demonic heritage made an appearance; why would he bother giving them even more ammunition when it comes to reasons to hate him? So no matter when he figured out his attraction to guys, he’s not going to lean into it, because he also likes girls, right? (Ignoring for a moment that bisexuality is a lot more nuanced than that.)

Rin likes girls, Rin is human — that’s what’s going to get people to like him, or at the very least tolerate him. That he likes guys, that he’s half demon, he can shove that shit down and pretend it doesn’t exist. Lock up any stray thoughts and keep the sword sheathed around anyone who doesn’t already know.

(Excuse me for being amused by Rin wielding his humanity and supposed heterosexuality as a sword and shield.)

The problem, of course, is that he can’t keep up the facade forever. The narrative won’t let him. Rin has to embrace his demonic side, because it’s the only way to move forward and to continue to help his loved ones. And once he’s moved past the issue of his friends being upset over the deception, when they understand he’s still Rin despite what he’d hidden from them, Rin is finally allowed to be himself. He uses his flames, he lets his tail move freely in the open around the Cram School kids. Rin still doesn’t like this side of himself — it’s inextricably tied to every moment of pain and isolation he’s dealt with his entire life, including the death of Father Fujimoto (and, y’know, his mom). But he is moving forward, he’s trying to adapt.

And isn’t that some great fucking subtext for his bisexuality, too?

ok but can we talk about johnny and daniel reunion in episode 5x05? it was the first time we actually saw them together in season 5, after four episodes of them apart (i think it was the longest ever we saw them apart in all five seasons???), and god. probably it was the most mature and thoughtful conversation between them EVER. they've grown so much around each other, they tried to comfort each other like friends do and actually listened to one other!!! it was so worth the wait, i love them so much omg, and not to mention this:

it can't be a real conversation between them if they're not flirting!!!

Help being alone for a week has made me start watching anime again mmwnsnxklsm

I ruined it I ruined it I ruined it I ruined it I ruined it

It's such a wonderful time to be a star trek fan 😭😭

the worst thing about my city being on fire and my partner and I and our cat going to stay with my cousin a few hours away is that we can't play our online baldur's gate lll campaign 😔

To all the Zoya fans…

We still have King of Scars. They can’t take that away from us yet, we still have that beautiful duology with that amazing ending.

Our girl deserved so much better and Sujaya did such a good job bringing her to life

Tbh if I see a spoiler it wouldnt matter bc I dont have the braincells to process where this info fits in the episodes

my partner and i have been watching death note all day and i’ve determined that people who make joke posts about death note on dolly parton’s internet are creating the highest tier of comedy and the actual show death note is the second highest tier

ao ashi is a love letter to football and these panels will always hit me hard no matter

ty for posting about how good condemnation wings is in that one spotify wrapped post because i had been sleeping on the blazblue soundtrack for so long and it was what gave me the push to check it out some more. as a result i have had condemnation wings in my head for the past 2 days. i appreciate this greatly.

ITS LITERALLY LIKE. i genuinely cannot pick a favorite favorite of the blazblue ost. discounting the IIs theres genuinely so few that i dislike that it's basically zero. daisuke does not fucking miss. please listen to imperial code. and memory of tears. maybe childish killer. honestly any and all tsubaki themes slap so hard justice sword and inJUSTICE are also bops in this essay i will-

why is picturing katerina and aglaya out in the steppe and the gorkhon making me cry like ?? thank you that is indeed a pretty image with loads of symbolism but also its literally 6 in the morning my brain hasnt even processed emotions yet

Anxiety makes enjoying good things so hard