I can't believe people think Wilson is the sane one when he literally first met House because House BAILED HIM OUT OF JAIL. I want to say he's just better at hiding it, but if I'm being honest, he's really not LMAO

Love Language Series: Words of Affirmation with Flip

masterlist

love language series masterlist

warnings: swearing, female-reader, end of friendship,

It was a nasty fight, and everyone who was in the Colorado Springs’ Howard Johnson’s that day for lunch got to witness it, including Flip. You hadn’t even expected to see her today, after all, it had been quite some time since you’ve seen her last.

One of your closest friends had recently thrown herself entirely into her new relationship and you were happy for her, at least at first. You’d found your other half in Flip, your wedding was the best day of your life and of course you’d want that for your friends! But you quickly became suspicious of the mystery man when you met him in person. You could tell by your friend’s behaviour that she wasn’t totally comfortable with him, she couldn’t be herself. You watched as she slowly shifted into someone else, just last week she’d gone dancing three times, and she hated dancing. 

Flip was just finishing up paying for the check when she came in, on the arm of the man you’d grown to hate. Immediately you knew something was wrong, she looked so...tired. He leaned in to say something in her ear and she smiled at him, but the smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. The couple moved to the corner of the counter, probably waiting for a takeaway order, and that was when you saw it. Her left hand came up to fiddle with the earrings she was wearing, and your eyes were drawn to a big shiny diamond sitting on her ring finger.

You must have made some kind of audible noise of shock because Flip’s head perked up, his brows furrowed, and then the detective followed your line of vision and seemed to catch on. No way she was engaged? She knew him for all of a month! You knew she was eager to settle down, but this was absolutely absurd. 

The waitress spoke some words to the couple, probably informing them it would be another minute or two on their order based on the current state of the restaurant. Your friend’s apparent fiance mumbled something to her, pressed a kiss to her cheek and excused himself, moving towards the mens room. The second she was alone you shot up from your seat, and before you could stop yourself you were marching up to your friend. 

“I know that’s not a fucking wedding ring?” A bold introduction to be sure, but you couldn’t help yourself.

“Well hello to you too y/n, yes, it is. Burt proposed at the country club this past weekend, pretty isn’t it?” She smiled briefly, holding it up and staring at it. For some reason it almost sounded like she was convincing herself more than you.

“Well-uh yes, it’s very pretty,” you acknowledged, fumbling for the words you were looking for. How could this have happened? “Little soon though no?”

“I don’t think so.” She shook her head quickly. “I mean I’ve been dreaming of getting married since I was a little girl. You know that y/n, I thought you’d be happy for me,” she frowned, she looked disappointed in you.

“Of course, I want you to be happy! but,” you paused, looking behind you to make sure he was still nowhere to be seen. “You’re both so different. I just don’t think he’s the one, I want better for you, that’s all.”

“Well what the hell am I supposed to do with that y/n?” she snapped. Her temper has apparently shortened greatly since you’d seen her last.

“I didn’t mean to offend you,” you backtracked quickly. “I know how important this is to you and that’s why I want you to be with someone perfect for you!”

“Alright, well why don’t you go hand this back to him!” She pulled her engagement ring off, slamming it on the counter. “Since you seem to know my life better than I do, huh?”

“No-no I didn’t mean-”

“God this is all so like you ya know?” She was basically yelling now, and you were sure more than a few eyes had turned to look at you. “You are so selfish y/n, do you know that? You claim to care about your friends so much but the second anyone else has any chance at happiness, however fleeting, you gotta go and shoot em down to make you feel better about yourself!” 

“I can’t believe you would say that,” you whispered, stepping back.

“I should have said it a long time ago!” She continued to yell, her words slicing deep. “You were always such a miserable sorry excuse for a friend, and now you’re going to act like you’re some kind of victim! You’re going to start crying like the slimy, manipulative bitch you are, because I’m the bad guy! Aren’t I y/n?”

You set your jaw, you could feel wetness collecting in your eyes but you didn’t dare let a tear slip. You were practically in a stare off as silence fell over the two of you. If the whole diner wasn’t already watching the two of you, they certainly were now.

“You know what,” you lowered your voice so only she could hear, “I hope you're happy in this trap you’ve set up for yourself. I really do.” 

You didn’t wait for a response, instead you spun on your heel, turning for the door. Flip stood from the booth to follow you, he got to the door and paused, turning to face your ex friend. There were plenty of things he’d like to say in that moment, he felt an intense need to defend you, but he refrained, shaking his head and pushing the door open, following his wife into the parking lot.

You marched towards Flips’ Chevrolet, your mind was reeling, you simply couldn’t believe the events that had just occurred. Her words stung, she must have known they would, they were meant to. You couldn’t wrap your head around how you had lost such a dear friend so suddenly, she had just slipped between your fingers. You weren’t selfish, were you? 

You approached the passenger door and tugged at the handle twice before realising it was still locked. So you crossed your arms, waiting for Flip to catch up and unlock the car.

The car ride was silent, Flip hated it. He knew you were turning those words over and over again in your head, digesting them. When he’d first pulled out of the parking lot he’d tried placing one of his big warm palms on your knee to comfort you, but you pulled away, curling up against the door and staring out the window. He’d tried speaking to you once, but you responded quickly that you didn’t want to talk about it.

When you arrived home he followed you into the house and up to your bedroom. You picked up the laundry basket that was laying at the foot of the bed, and plopped it on top of the bed. You busiest yourself folding the rest of the load you had meant to finish it before going out for lunch. Flip sat on his brown armchair in the corner of your bedroom, a few feet away from you, and you could feel his gaze on you as you worked. You folded in silence for a few minutes, still muddling in the events of earlier, and then you heard Flip let out a loud sigh.

“Alright, come here,” he called, patting his lap, nodding his head to further emphasis himself. 

“I said, I don’t want to talk about it, please Phil,” your voice came out defeated.

“Ok,” he sat for a moment. “Well can I talk to you?” You turned to stare at his face, considering him. He gestured you over again with his head and this time you gave in, tossing one of your tops to the side and walking over to him, a little smile slipping out.

You purposefully perched yourself on the very edge of his lap, teasing him, and looked at him expectantly. He rolled his eyes and grabbed your waist tightly, tugged you all the way into him until your shoulder bumped into his chest, the sudden motion causing you to squeal. He tightened his arms around you and poked his big strong nose against your cheek.

“You know I love you honey?” He kissed your jaw.

“You don’t think I’m a selfish bitch?” you forced a half laugh, trying to pretend it didn’t bother you too much. As if that would ever work with Flip.

“You know what I think of you woman?” He asked, grabbing your chin to direct your gaze to him. He has the prettiest eyes, you thought to yourself. His intense gaze was still enough make your stomach flutter even after all these years.

“What do you think of me?” You indulge him, giving another small smile.

“I think you’re too kind for your own good sweetheart.” You rolled your eyes at that, shaking your head at him, and tried to look away.

“Nuh uh, don’t roll your eyes baby, I mean it,” he said seriously pulling your face towards him again. “Don’t you be worrying about some shit somebody else said ok? You’re the farthest thing from selfish pumpkin. You’re such a good person, and you don’t even know it. I wouldn’t change a thing about you.  You're my favourite person in the whole world baby, I’m so glad you let me marry you. Don’t know what I did to deserve you gorgeous.” He leaned forward leaving a quick, sweet kiss on your lips. Then he let go of your chin and you moved forward, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“God I love you Flip,” you spoke, voice muffled as your mouth was on top of his flannel.

“I love you more baby.”

And then he’d probably fuck you into the mattress while he made you say nice things about yourself but I’ve done my very best to keep this series PG so we’ll have to address that another time.

Tags: @aloneandsleepless​ @maryforyou​ @emeraldsiren20​ @leather-flannel-liquor​ @ellenmunn​

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The Boy in The Teashop - Zuko x F!readerPart 1

Description: You may not know Zuko, but you know Lee-- the tea-maker at The Jasmine Dragon. 

✤✥✤✥✤✥

For the record, all you wanted to say was this: being homeless was not fun.

Sure, there were times when you were little that you wanted to leave the house. You tried to slam the door on your mom, who made you train because you couldn't waterbend and screech, "Good riddance, buttholes!"

Although you'd be grateful that you wouldn't be as annoying as the fat lady with her butt sticking out and her nose pointed high, you just wished you had a place to stay.

Four months. It had been four months since you were banished from the Northern Water Tribe, which was a memory you had tried to erase from your mind for days. You never liked to reminisce on that moment, not at all.

But now? Now, being homeless was the hardest thing that you've ever gone through.

"Excuse me?" You asked, eyeing a stranger who briskly walked past you. The woman who passed by always came around at four am, with her pants so big that you could see half her underwear, and her shirt so small that her big stomach seemed to bulge out.

"It's the fat lady!" You awed, then cupping your hands over your mouth when you realized you said it out loud. "Do you have any spare change-" you began as innocently as possible.

"Stay out of my way," the fat lady growled, smacking her bag in your face. You grumbled as you took a look in your metal disk that you used to pick up coins, empty, as always.

You saw another man pass by-- he was holding a long, wooden cane and wearing a pair of sunglasses.

"Do you have any spare change?" You asked, holding the disk out.

The man looked at you dead in the eye, only to shake his head and walk off.

You cursed under your breath and shivered. The sun wasn't even up yet, and the sky was still a deep shade of navy. There weren't many people walking around, but if there were, you'd probably have to leave before a bunch of other people started staring at you all weird.

You waved the disk up like a frisbee, closing your eyes and imagining yourself back in the Northern Water Tribe and playing games with all the other kids, but of course, that was nothing more than a fantasy world that you were living in.

Your hands traced along the scar you had since you were only four-- from the fire nation. The burn mark started just over your eyebrows, which coiled in a dark red line, which then inched its way down the very back of your neck.

You usually wore a mask or used a shield of hair to cover up the scar. It wasn't something you were very proud of-- as your mother always scolded, "scars are a way of ridiculing yourself. I cannot allow a member of my own family to have one."

You never liked to get deep into your backstory, so you pushed that fact away when you saw a teen boy walk towards your direction. He had blonde hair and freckles that went all over his face.

Eagerly, you outstretched your hand. "Do you have any spare change?"

The boy scoffed, rolled his eyes, and then crouched down in front of you. "Yeah," he said softly.

You looked expectantly as his hands rummaged into his pockets, only to come out empty as he slapped you across the face.

"Stay out of my way, freak!" he shouted as he kicked dust in your face and stomped away.

The slap hurt- it wasn't as bad as what you had gone through with your mom, but it certainly wasn't something that you were willing to reminisce on.

You traced your hand over where it stung most and winced.

...That was going to leave a mark.

You checked the time by peeking through an old tea shop, which read, 5:09 am.

You still had around three hours before you had to leave somewhere else, so you made the most of it and fell into a restless sleep.

✤✥✤✥✤✥

You woke up to the feeling of someone shaking your shoulder-- the first time you felt it, you simply brushed it off, turned over, and went back to sleep.

Then when you felt it again, you simply took one of the dirty rugs you had and covered it over your face-- you assumed it was another random boy who wanted to beat the living daylights out of you, but then you realized they would have hurt you already.

You opened your eyes to find a boy who looked around your age with jet black hair and golden eyes staring back at you.

Immediately, you got into a battle stance and launched backward, your hands rolled up in fists; the sudden movement making a dust cloud. "Don't touch me," you hissed, brushing a lock of hair from your face.

But when you looked at what he was wearing, inspecting a green apron which read, "The Jasmine Dragon," and holding a tray consisting of all sorts of teacups, you stepped back, apologizing.

"Ah..." you shook your head, embarrassed as you hid your face in shame. "Sorry, I didn't know you were- uh... what time is it?"

The golden-eyed boy looked towards the clock, saying, "It's around 8 in the morning. We're going to be opening in an hour."

"Oh!" you shook your head. "S-sorry, I didn't mean-"

"Nephew, who is this?" the boy's uncle, you assumed, came out of nowhere- he had warm almond brown eyes with friendly wrinkles that traced around his face. He took one good look at you, and he gave you a warm smile.

You decided to like him immediately.

"Sorry for nearly punching your nephew-"

"Bah, he has no problem with that,"

"-my name's (Y/N)." You continued promptly.

"(Y/N). What a lovely name. I'm Ir- Mushi," Mushi, he was called, smiled. He pointed towards the direction of the boy you nearly punched. "That is my nephew, Zu- I mean, Lee. So, who are you?"

"Homeless," the boy- Lee, he was called, replied for you instantly. "I just told her to leave, Uncle."

But as for Lee...?

You didn't like him too much-- and you didn't like being nicknamed, "homeless," even if it was true. It made you so angry that you felt sick to your stomach-- "homeless" wasn't what defined you.

"I'm sorry," you began, blinking your eyes furiously and packing up your things. "I'll leave, sorry about-"

"Lee!" Mushi scolded, his hands crossed punctually across his chest.

"What? Uncle, we need to get to work, we're opening-"

"In an hour," Mushi finished. "We have plenty of time."

The man's kindness he had was so beautiful that you nearly broke down-- not once had he called you homeless, nor had made fun of you. He didn't give you any looks of pity and instead talked to you like an average person-- not like a daughter who disgraced her entire family.

"(Y/N), how would you like to stay at our tea shop today?" Mushi offered. "We'd give you three square meals and a hot shower, how does that sound?"

You gaped, your eyes filled with hope but utterly confused at the same time. Lee seemed to be against it, but before he could speak, you declined first. "Oh, no! I can't, you're too kind, sir. That would be too much to ask; it's alright-"

"Bah, you are too modest, (Y/N)! It would-" the old man persisted.

"Mr. Mushi. It's alright, I promise you. This is too much, and I'm perfectly fine right now!" But if you were honest, that was a lie. If anything, you needed someone to help you, and you needed help now.

"It would be my pleasure," he smiled.

"Certainly not mine," Lee grumbled.

Mushi whispered, "I am deeply sorry about my nephew. He has trouble controlling his temper,"

"I can tell," you laughed. "It's alright-"

But before you could say another word, the old man was dragging you right into the tea shop.

And little did you know, in those few minutes, your entire life would change.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Love Me Like A Sister - pt.2

XX

The fifth year was worse than the last. Now when you weren’t talking to your sister it was harder being in the same house. She was the only one who you loved to talk to, who kept being your rock when everybody was against you but not anymore. Now you were alone.

Besides all the hate you were given in your own house, there was Dolores Jane Umbridge- the toad. If she was anything, she was worse than Professor Snape. That peculiar little smile on her thin lips was irritating you, making you so furious all the time. She kept finding other reasons to punish you but the truth was, she hated you being a Muggleborn.

But there was Halsey, your too cute of a boyfriend.

“It’s not that bad.” he kept tracing his finger on the words carved in your hand. “Plus, I find it very sexy.” he winked and you rolled your eyes, smiling at him.

“Oh really?” you looked at him from the corner of your eyes.

“Oh, yeah. My girl has a sexy scar on her hand. She fought a dragon, you know.” he kept looking at you with so much admiration.

“More like a toad.” you added and he snorted.

“A ferocious toad.” he chuckled and kept his eyes on you, grinning. He could have sworn he saw you in his future. He saw you in this gorgeous house by the lake in a summer yellow dress and a big hat. He saw you holding your sandals and looking at the lake with him by your side. He saw himself wrapping his arms around you and watching the quiet surface wave calmly. “I love you.” he whispered quietly.

Your eyes shot to his and you felt your heart suddenly pound faster and faster. He said it. For the first time, he said those words to you. And you kept looking at his calm eyes, the mix of brown, green and blue, and they watched you kindly and soft. They watched you with admiration and love, which made you feel warmth and safety. He loved you. “I love you too.”

---

It was late when you decided to leave the Ravenclaw tower. You knew if it was any later, your hand would suffer the consequences, so you sneaked out just before curfew.

And they were all there. Harry, Ron, and Hermione, fast asleep.

You smiled at your sister as she was having her hands under her cheek, drooling a little on the pillow. There were a few books under her feet, one on her hip and the other on the floor. “You and your books.” you smiled to yourself and walked towards her. Firstly you took the book from her hip and put it on the desk. Secondly, you took the three books under her feet and put them in her bag and lastly, you took the blanket from the armrest and covered her.

Despite everything, she was still your sister. And sisters look out for each other.

But there were another two boys sleeping and drooling all over the house sofas. You went to Harry first, taking the open book from his face and closing it, yet before you managed to close it, a Quidditch magazine fell right on the floor but none of them budged. “Studying my arse.” you whispered at him and picked the magazine. You summoned two more blankets with a simple summoning charm and covered Harry before you went to Ron. Ron was book free. There was only parchment and a few scribbled words on it but it made you smile just how peaceful he can be when asleep.

“Thought you didn’t like Ron.” a quiet voice came from behind you.

You smiled at the sound of it and continued to tuck Ron in. “I like him. He’s the one that doesn’t like me.” you turned around and sat on the ground in front of Harry. “Plus, you can call it a motherly gene I had to inherit.” you smiled, leaning your head on your hand.

It was when he noticed the words, similar to his. ‘I am a witch, not a Muggle.’

“What does it mean?” he flickered his eyes to it and you quickly hid it under your sleeve.

“Oh...uhm. Well, I had a notebook instead of parchment and a pen instead of ink- I mean it was alright with other professors but she told me that I shouldn’t be carrying Muggle school supplies to a Wizarding school.”

“She told me not to lie.” he simpered and showed his scar on the hand. ‘I must not tell lies.’

“No shit.” you blurted out without thinking twice. “Because you said Voldemort was still alive.”

He nodded but then quickly changed his expression. “You said his name?”

“Oh...sorry.”

“No. It’s alright. I say his name as well- I just didn’t expect you would as well.”

“Hermione always said: Fear of the name only increases fear of the thing itself.” you smiled and looked over at your sleeping sister. “I miss her, you know.”

“She misses you as well.”

“Yeah...but I can’t forgive her yet. I don’t know why but-but I just can’t get past it, you know? It’s like I’m angry all the time.” you looked up at him and he smiled.

“Trust me. I know.”

“Oh...sorry. I forgot you have one of the worst tempers.” you teased and he let out a fake gasp.

“I do not.” he laughed quietly and you laughed with him.

“Yes, of course.” you got on your feet and nodded up to dormitories. “Well, I’m going to bed.” you started walking backwards, waving at him. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

---

There was something about that night that didn’t give you peace. You could feel it in your bones, in your gut. It was like- like-

“Hermione!” you got on your feet, changing into normal clothes and putting on your sneakers. And you ran.

You ran and you didn’t care if anybody sees you. You ran outside the castle because you knew- you just knew she was in danger. You could see it, you could feel where she was and what was it when you read the chapter of disapparating. Your feet were off the castle grounds, you closed your eyes and you held your breath until there was an uncomfortable feeling of density and anxiety. You were in front of the Ministry and it was her voice in your head, guiding you to where she was.

‘That door.’ You just knew it. You felt it and you were sure when you heard shouts and screams in there.

You opened the door and all of a sudden there were flashes of darkness and light, green flashes, red flashes- what was happening?

“HERMIONE!” you shouted on top of your lungs, your chest pounding. “HERMIONE!”

“(Y/N)!” another shout came from a hiding spot a few feet away from you.

“Hermione! Thank God!” you threw yourself in her arms, gripping her tightly. “I was so worried.” you put her hair away from her face and held it in your palms.

“How did you get here?” she smiled.

“Remember that stupid spell we did in our second year.”

“You mean it worked??” she beamed. “I thought it failed.”

“No it didn’t- wait. Neville?” you looked at the boy behind her and later at the Ravenclaw you saw around the Ravenclaw common room. “Luna? What are you all doing here?”

“I can’t see well.” Ginny suddenly came around the corner and widened her eyes at you. “(y/n)?”

“Hi, Ginny.” you nodded at her before looking around and seeing familiar faces. “Why aren’t you fighting with them?”

“They told us not to. It’s not safe.” said Hermione but that only made you smirk at her.

“They didn’t tell me that.” you pulled out your wand and jumped out of hiding, your eyes flicking to Tonks who was being cornered by three. “Stupefy!” you shouted and one of the Death Eaters was blown away.

Another grabbed you from behind, placing the tip of your wand at the bottom of your chin. “Little girl likes to fight.” he sneered but you only elbowed him in the stomach, grabbed the wand from his grip, broke it in half and kicked him one more time.

“Muggle self-defense you bastard!” you pulled out your wand and stupefied him as well.

“I like you, Granger.” Sirius passed by with a smile.

“Sorry about the-”

“NO WORRIES!” he beamed back at you as he ran up to-

“Harry?” you furrowed your eyebrows at him but he didn’t notice you. He was concentrated on Sirius. “Of course, Harry would be here.” you mumbled after a few moments of processing.

“(y/n)!” you heard Hermione shout, waving you to come back to her.

But it was quiet all of a sudden. No sound, no Death Eaters, only muffled voices. You turned to Harry, seeing the not-long-ago beaming Sirius disappearing behind the Veil. Your eyes immediately darted to Harry, who only watched. He watched his Godfather being taken away from him, like every loving thing he had. And his eyes were lost. His eyes were unreadable and you felt tears fall before his ever did. He screamed, loud, excruciating- and was about to go after him if Remus wouldn’t stop him. But Harry didn’t care. He just lost the only man who was close to a parent to him; Sirius, who meant everything.

His eyes changed colour- changed in general. His screams, wails were loud and agonizing. You ran up to him without even thinking and taking a hold of his head between your hands. “Harry! It’s okay! It’s okay...”

Though it wasn’t okay and everybody knew it. But you didn’t know what to say. You didn’t know how to say it. You just knew he needed somebody.

“SIRIUS!” he shouted and buried his head in your neck, holding you tightly in his arms, almost crushing you.

“He’s gone, Harry. You can’t go after him.” you whispered and both of you collapsed on the ground. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” you kept holding him while he sobbed in your arm. “I’m sorry.”

Queen Rock Hogwarts: Chapter One

Queen Hogwarts AU based off of this headcanon.

Crossposted on AO3 under username Flyaway_33

Chapter One: I Want to Break Free

Roger was a small boy. He was at least a head shorter than all his peers and couldn’t keep up well in sports, simply just being too small and vulnerable compared to other boys his age. Though he was athletic and energetic, his size inhibited him more than he cared to think about. He knew he was different, small— weak, even, but he also knew he had abilities other kids didn’t have. First of all, he was incredibly musically talented, and second, he was a wizard.

He knew about magic but his father forbid it. Roger, his mother, and his sister were punished any time they mentioned or exhibited magic. Roger’s mother had hidden her abilities for years because she had fallen in love with a muggle and his father never knew until one day when Roger was seven, he began to exhibit magical abilities having broken his bedroom window just with a scream during a temper tantrum. Another time when he was upset with his sister because she lost one of his toy cars, he accidentally made a dish of water fly off the kitchen counter and spill over her head. His father witnessed both inexplicable events, and in a moment of bravery, his mother told him the truth: that she and both their children were magical. That was the first time Roger saw his father hit his mother, and the first time his father had grabbed him by the collar and called him a freak, forbidding him to acknowledge his abilities. His little sister, who at that point still hadn’t discovered her abilities was spared from the violence, and Roger had vowed then that, should she really be magical too, he would keep her safe.

Thus began the lying game. Winnie kept her children safe by teaching them how to control their abilities. They never spoke of magic because even the smallest hint of it would send their father into a violent rage. Roger and Clare’s abilities were ignored and discouraged. They were taught to pretend they weren’t special, that they weren’t different. They pretended that magic didn’t exist, because every time one of them lost their temper or were frightened and a little magic would slip out, they could be sure to be put in their place by their father. They pretended until Roger’s eleventh birthday when their father wasn’t home, an owl flew in through their open kitchen window and dropped a heavy letter on the table, immediately swooping over their heads and out the window, gone as quick as it had appeared. It was addressed to Mister Roger Taylor in flawless script and a wax seal with an unfamiliar crest stamped into it kept the envelope shut.

Five days later at Kings Cross was a hard one. Roger’s mother Winnie, who desperately created a facade that she was sending the Roger to a boarding school for troubled kids, had snuck both children out of the house early that morning so that she could take them shopping in Diagon Alley for the supplies Roger needed for the real school she was sending him off to: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It was a culture shock for the frightened siblings and they were glued to each others’ sides all day as Winnie led them through the streets filled with odd sights, sounds, and characters. His mother and sister cried when they sent Roger, clad in his neatest, yet still too big, maroon sweater and khaki uniform pants off onto the looming Scarlett train at King’s Cross, but Winnie was relieved that her boy could go somewhere he could learn to be himself without being punished for it. 

“Hello, darling. This seat taken?” 

Roger sat alone in one of the train’s compartments facing the empty bench across from him. He was both frightened and excited all the same, and was bound and determined to make friends, so when the scrawny boy with dark tresses, buck teeth, and olive skin poked his head through the door of the compartment Roger gave his bravest smile and welcomed the boy in. The boy traipsed into the compartment revealing more of himself to Roger. He was a slight boy dressed in an emerald green polo and neat, black uniform pants. A rather large, silver embroidered serpent glittered menacingly from his left breast pocket and what appeared to be a small ruby glinted as its eye.

“Hi, I’m Roger,” he silently cursed his high, breathy voice as he stuck his hand out. The boy gave him a toothy grin and shook it once. 

“Freddie.” He answered confidently. “I’m a second year Slytherin. Are you ready to be sorted? Oh, I just can’t wait to see everyone join their houses!” He exclaimed, plopping down onto the seat across from Roger. “It’s such an exciting event, finding out where you’ll be for the next seven years! Oh, you must be excited darling, aren’t you?”

“I’m not sure, I dunno much about any of this.” Roger nervously looked down at his sneakers, a ratty old pair of chucks. His feet didn’t even touch the floor of the compartment due to his small size, and he felt sub-par sitting across from Freddie’s immaculate outfit. “Just found out I was going to be allowed to come here five days ago, actually.”

“What do you mean you just found out? Are your parents muggles?” Freddie looked utterly confused as his eyes searched the tiny blond boy before him.

“What’s a muggle?”

“They must be,” Freddie sighed, his face falling into a brooding expression, “Its a non-magic person.”

“Oh, no, my mother is a witch, apparently. Dad is a muggle, then, I guess.”

“Apparently?”

“Yeah. We never really talked about it but she has… abilities… like my sister and me.”

“Ah. I see.” Freddie gave him a strange look for a moment as though he were reading him like a book before his expression changed in an instant and the toothy, mischievous grin returned. “You’re a half-blood, then. Lovely. I’m pure blood, my parents are descended from a prestigious line of ancient Indian Parsi wizarding families.”

“Oh.” Roger hummed, unsure of what any of that meant. Was Freddie better than him because of his pure-blood heritage? That’s what it sounded like, but Roger wasn’t offended, he just wanted to figure things out before he made a fool of himself.

“Hey, Freddie?”

“Yeah?”

“Could you— uh, could you tell me about this, this school? I don’t know anything about it. I’m going into all this completely blind.” He felt tears welling in his eyes and a lump forming in his throat, but he forced it all back, determined to preserve his pride and protect himself in this strange new culture. He was terrified, but he knew he had to stay strong, he’d always had to hide his emotions at home for risk of accidentally triggering his magic, and that never ended well. Though he struggled to conceal his anger or frustration whenever those emotions welled up, he was excellent at hiding his fear and sadness. As a small, young boy who had only turned eleven five days ago he certainly had the steely emotional composure of a much older boy. Conceal, don’t feel. 

“Of course, darling.” Freddie’s kind, warm eyes softened and raked over the small boy, a combination of pity and hopefulness shining through them. He’d noticed the brief emotion in Roger’s expression but he chose not to comment directly and instead Freddie spoke as though he knew everything he was feeling. Those brown eyes looked like they were peering into Roger’s soul. As he began to explain the school, he proceeded in a chronological order, explaining to the small boy what he would see as he arrived at the school, what the houses were, and what to expect in his first classes.

The two boys spent the rest of the train ride in deep conversation as Freddie explained everything he could bring to mind about the magical school as Roger sat listening, starry-eyed and asking a plethora of questions. They’d been engrossed in conversation for at least an hour when a lanky boy with a wild halo of dark pin curls surrounding his head unceremoniously  threw open the compartment door and glided in. He was dressed in clean, dark black robes and a neat blue and bronze tie: not a thing about his outfit wasn’t perfectly in place. 

“Hello. I’m Brian,” he stuck his hand out for Roger to shake as he peered down his nose at the child, “Second year Ravenclaw. And you are?”

“Roger. First year.” He took his hand and gave it a firm shake, hoping his feigned confidence would mask how overwhelmed he felt inside. 

“Well, lovely to meet you, mate. Looking forward to seeing where you end up.” Brian then turned to Freddie. “Oi, you need to put on your robes, we’re nearly there.” Then back to Roger. “You too, Roger, but keep your sweater underneath, you’ll be sailing across the lake. Tradition for first years. Can’t have you freezing your arse off if we can avoid it, yeah?”

“Oh, okay. Th-thanks for the heads up.” Roger’s eyes had gone wide and he felt panic swelling in his chest. He couldn’t swim.

“Ah yes, the boats.” Freddie mused. “Brian and I met on the train last year and sailed over together. Nasty weather we had. He fell in and caught pneumonia, imagine that.”

“What?!” Roger squeaked before recomposing himself. “I mean… How did that happen?”

“Oh we were messing around,” Freddie laughed, examining his fingernails in an aloof manner. “My fault, really. He was trying to stop me from putting my head in the lake. It was a dare from another boy who ended up in Slytherin with me.”

Brian rolled his eyes and shook his head. “You won’t fall in, just don’t be an idiot and don’t interfere with other idiots. Go on now, get dressed.” Brian turned on his heel and waved his hand in a passive goodbye as he glided out the door. 

“Bossy, isn’t he, Rog?” Freddie asked with a mischievous smile as he dug through his satchel for his robes. 

“Mhm.” Roger hummed in affirmation as he got his own robes out. Where Freddie’s had the crest of what he’d told Roger was Slytherin House’s, Roger’s simply had the Hogwarts crest. He wondered where he would end up, seeing as he couldn’t label himself with any of the attributes Freddie had described for the houses when he was explaining Hogwarts. He guessed the sorting hat would just have to choose at random. 

Roger stood among the other first years with his arms wrapped around himself, trembling from a combination of excitement and fear as he watched the largest man he’d ever seen in his life direct the children into a fleet of small row boats. The man was intimidating with his booming voice but he wasn’t what had him so worked up. It was his fear of drowning that struck fear into his heart as he was shepherded toward the dark, murky lake. He desperately looked around for anyone to talk to so that he could distract himself, and his eyes landed on a lanky, slouching boy who was standing by himself close by.

The boy had reddish brown hair that grew past his ears and wore a focused yet nervous look on his face. Roger was very social and wasted no time stepping over to him with a cocky smile to mask his fear.

“What a welcome, eh?” He chuckled, desperate to start a conversation, but his voice shook ever so slightly. ‘Damn it, Roger.’ he thought to himself, clenching his jaw as he waited for a response. 

“Yeah, quite lovely,” replied the boy sarcastically with a very obviously northern accent. “Though I’d much rather join the general population in those charmed buggies. 

Roger glanced over to where Freddie had split off to where large carriages seemed to be pulled along by nothing. It sent a shiver down his spine, but the prospect of being in a self propelling carriage seemed much less frightening than the idea of being thrown overboard and drowning, so he nodded in agreement.

“The name’s Roger.” he grumbled as he tightened his arms around himself nervously. 

“John.” The other boy hummed. “You alright there, Roger?”

The boys had been directed into the last row boat with a few other first years, but there were no oars to be seen. Roger gulped as his trembling worsened, but he kept his expression stony, his jaw set, as they stepped on. “I’m— I’m fine, John.”

John’s expression softened. “No need to be scared, mate.” He said in a low voice so others wouldn’t hear. “Its just magic.”

“I’m not scared.”

“Yes you are. If it makes you feel better, I’m scared too.”

Roger raised his eyebrows and glanced over at John in question.

“I’m scared I won’t make friends.”

“You’ve just made one. I’m scared of falling in and drowning.”

John smiled at roger’s sentiment. “You won’t. We lucked out with the weather. Just sit, we’ll be there soon.”

Their boat began to glide forward completely unaided and Roger held his breath and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. He peeked one eye open as cool air blew through his hair in an almost soothing manner, and he relaxed as he realized how steady the boat felt beneath him. His confidence grew and he leaned his face into the wind, his eyes heavy, savoring the sweet earthy smell of the air, so unlike the sea breeze back home. He felt strangely comforted by the new scent and had a strong sense of hope in his heart. This was a new beginning.

The whirlwind of emotions Roger felt when he stepped foot in Hogwarts for the first time nearly knocked him off his feet. After years of hiding his magic while his father literally fought tooth and nail to keep him ‘normal’, he’d felt like he was finally home. He was finally free.

A head shorter than all the other first years, he got lost in the sea of excited children on the way up to the front of the great hall. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of the immense ceiling that seemed to vanish into the stars of the clear night sky, lost in the awe and wonder of all these new magical sights and sounds. There was uproarious chatter of housemates reuniting after a summer apart, and what appeared to be ghosts floating around the Great Hall greeting students as the first years were led to the front. He was overwhelmed, taking it all in as sorting began and he neglected to pay attention until a familiar name was called and his new friend left his side.

“John Deacon” rang the shrill witch’s voice from beside the stool where the sorting hat sat in waiting. 

A fold in the hat seemed to open up in a smile as the hat settled on John’s head. “Hufflepuff!” It shouted in a clear, booming voice. 

Great. All his friends were in different houses. What was he supposed to hope for? Roger scanned the hall in search for Freddie and Brian as John shuffled toward the Hufflepuff table which was adorned with cheery yellow banners with equally as cheery students welcoming him in. He spotted Brian’s curly mop at the Ravenclaw table swathed in a sea of blue, but had a harder time finding Freddie as the Slytherin table was farther away and Freddie had a significantly less noticeable silhouette. He looked hard at the far table, narrowing his eyes in attempt to focus them enough to pick out his friend as he silently cursed his poor eyesight. He noticed a shape at the end of the table that resembled Freddie. He and another figure who appeared to be a young girl with auburn hair were greeting first years warmly as they joined the house. 

Roger was soon lost in thought once more as his gaze traveled over the students and professors surrounding him. Names were called, children sorted, and the cloud of first years soon dwindled down to just Roger and a few other boys. The one beside him was the closest Roger could see to being almost as short as him, which was a bit of a comfort. He had a curtain of straight, black hair hiding most of his features from the side, and he had been eerily quiet and still during the sorting. Roger glanced at him curiously, as the boy seemed to not care at all as his name was called “Severus Snape” and he was sorted into Slytherin before the hat was even fully on his head. He seemed to have known where he was going and had a near painful air of indifference. 

Then Roger remembered that S was right before T, and that meant— 

“Roger Taylor.” He was next. 

His mind went blank as he set his jaw in determination and straightened to his full height, head held high. With as much feigned confidence as he could muster, he marched up to the stool and hopped up onto it as the witch lowered the hat onto his head, his feet swinging above the floor in false merriness as he waited for his answer. The hat must’ve been thinking, of course. Roger didn’t know where he belonged either, he couldn’t blame it. But then— 

“Gryffindor!” It shouted with grandeur. The table draped in scarlet erupted with cheers and Roger jumped down off the stool as a small smile played at his lips. What had Freddie called this house? The courageous ones? His smile grew as he approached the table. He was home.

Divina Commedia - G-Dragon (4)

Chapter 4

I suddenly came to the realization that I was about to open up and talk about one of the weirdest days of my life. I walked slowly around the house and I looked at all the pictures on the walls. They all had one thing in common- they showed just me and him. I sat on the couch in the living room. The sun had just set, and the city lights had started to faintly shine. I had to think of all those these things that happened that day before I put them into words, so I spent quite some time there looking at the beautiful skyline, but my mind wasn’t there. The clock on the wall indicated it was already 9:20 pm and I decided I was ready to let it all out.

 “The day that came after our trip to Daegu was my 20th birthday. I woke up to sunrays warming up my face and a sleeping Jiyong next to me. He looked so peaceful and his breathing was steady, his messy hair changed into beautiful shades of light brown and gold as the sun laid on them, his skin was glowing, and he had one arm around my body. I moved closer to him and he opened his eyes lazily before holding me with both hands and rolling me onto his chest. ‘Happy Birthday angel’ he said with his beautiful morning voice, I brushed some of his hair aside and I kissed him, ‘I love you’ I whispered and we laid there, looking into each other’s eyes as if it was the first time we woke up in each other’s arms. After lying around, talking about random stuff, Jiyong told me he had to go to the studio, but he’d be back as fast as he could to celebrate my birthday. With those words he got up from the bed and he got ready quickly. After he left I spent my morning replying to wishes and phone calls from my friends and cousins. I was in the middle of talking to my best friend on the phone when the door bell rang. A big white box was handed to me by one of the guards from the gate of the house. I set the box on the couch and I unwrapped it; a beautiful red silk gown was neatly folded in there. Before I could even take the dress out of the box, Jiyong called me, ‘did you get the dress?’ he asked, and I knew from the tone of his voice that he was smiling. ‘It’s so beautiful’ I said as I ran my fingertips over the expensive fabric. ‘That’s just the beginning baby, I have prepared so much for today, be ready by 6:00, we have a reservation, alright honey?’ ‘I’ll be ready by then don’t worry’. After we hang up, I started running around the house in excitement. It was the first time we went on such a fancy date just the two of us and I couldn’t be happier. It was already 3:30 pm and I had to start getting ready. I took a really long warm bath to relax my nerves for tonight. After I got out of the bath, I started doing my makeup and I realized I had to look extra nice for tonight; I’d be standing next to the celebrity G-Dragon and not so much my boyfriend Jiyong, since we’d be in public. Once my face was ready, I started straightening my hair in hopes of looking more put together. At around 5:15 I walked into the bedroom, I took the dress out of the box to wear it and to my surprise there was a small paper unnderneath; ‘check the sock drawer in my closet’  I dropped the dress on the bed and I ran immediately to his giant walk-in closet, I knew exactly where the sock drawer was so it didn’t take me long to find a black jewelry box in there. I opened it and inside, a pair of long cluster diamond earrings laid there. Immediately I called him, I couldn’t believe he bought these ‘is everything okay?’ ‘uhm I don’t know, did you buy me the earrings you had in your closet?’ ‘yes, why? Don’t you like them?’ ‘no, it’s not that, it’s just… that’s a lot of money Jiyong’ ‘honey don’t worry about stuff like that okay? I enjoy spoiling people I love. I’ll see you in a bit don’t be late’.I put on the dress, a pair of not so high black heels (he wasn’t that much taller than me either). my hair was in a low ponytail that made my earrings show more, I looked at myself through the mirror in his closet and I was shocked by how much better I looked like this. Before I knew it, the time had come to go to my fancy dinner and a newfound kind of adrenaline ran through my veins that I adored. The sky was turning purple when I was walking down the driveway of the house to his parked Lamborghini outside. I took a deep breath and when the gate opened, I saw Jiyong standing in front of the car, looking at the floor. He looked beautiful as always, but he had a nervous look on his face. He was wearing a maroon velvet suit, the top was a little oversized for his body, but he made it look so good on him. He didn’t wear a shirt underneath and a part of his chest was exposed. He had his beautiful brown hair as usual; he knew I loved his fluffy hair, so he had kept it as is. he had little to no makeup on that toned his eyes and his overall image was very professional and intimidating. When he saw me arrive, his eyes went from my head to toe and his mouth hang a bit open. Once he snapped back to reality, he came close to me, gave me a small hug ‘you look beautiful in this dress’ he whispered while hugging me, I could feel his breath against my neck which gave me shivers. We got into his car and we drove to one of the most beautiful restaurants in the city. It was on the 23rd floor of a huge hotel that overlooked the Namsan park; I had only heard about this place but now I was going to celebrate my birthday there with my boyfriend. When we arrived there we were informed that his manager had booked the entire place for us tonight because he didn’t want us to worry about our privacy on such an occasion. ‘I didn’t know your manager knew about us’ ‘he kind of could see it for himself but it’s okay he’s gonna support us no matter what’ Jiyong replied as we were seated in the middle of the beautiful restaurant we had all to ourselves. The evening went by smoothly, the food was more than great and Jiyong was perfect as always. We talked about all sorts of things, and he kept complimenting me even if I blushed like a tomato every time. When we were done, we decided to go back home and chill for the rest of the night- since January Jiyong was trying to cut down on the alcohol, so going to a bar or a club afterwards wouldn’t be the best thing for him.The moment we arrived home, Jiyong went to take a shower and as I was taking off my makeup, my parents called me. It all went normally up to the point where they asked to video call me because they hadn’t seen me in a long time. I had no other choice, I quickly ran to the living room and when they saw me in the dress I was wearing their expressions changed, the huge house behind me raised questions I knew I had to answer. The first one to talk was my father that asked where I was because this looked nothing like my apartment, I quickly blurted out that I was in a friend’s house which made them angry and they demanded to know the truth. Then I told them about my  relationship, that we lived together and that he was the one who bought me all that I was wearing. At that point they were both expressionless and none of us talked. After this rather long silence, my mom told me to call them back once I looked like myself and not like someone’s escort and she immediately hang up. I ran to the bedroom, Jiyong was still in the shower, so I quickly took off everything I was wearing, and I threw on one of his shirts and a pair of shorts, I went to the kitchen to get some privacy again and I called my parents back. They still looked very angry with me and they started bombarding me with questions. They were mostly about Jiyong; what he does for a living, why are we dating, for how long but the thing that was the last straw for them was his age. When I told them that he was nine years older than me, they became enraged. My father threatened me that if I didn’t break up with him now I would no longer be his daughter, my mother didn’t even try to understand me, she just agreed with my father. They didn’t even want to know how I felt for him, or just his name- all they heard was that a rich celebrity almost a decade older than me had me as his hostage in his house. They didn’t give me a chance to explain anything. At some point through their yelling I lost my temper too and I told them that if they can’t accept my relationship with Jiyong I don’t want them as my family because they don’t want to see me happy and they hang up on me, again. As soon as I put the phone on the counter, my legs felt powerless and slowly I sat on the cold kitchen floor, my back against one of the counters and I started crying. I couldn’t believe what had just happened, suddenly I felt so alone. My own family didn’t want me, and I didn’t know what to do, breaking up with Jiyong wasn’t even an option, I couldn’t even picture leaving him, he made me so happy. I kept crying and I heard footsteps approaching me ‘what happened, who was yelling at you?’ I heard Jiyong say before sitting next to me on the floor. I looked at him, my eyes were red from crying and I was shaking- it was a mess. When he saw me like this his, calm expression quickly turned into a concerned one and he didn’t know what to do. ‘Can you please hold me for now, I don’t want to think of anything’ I said between my sobs and before I could finish my sentence he had already pulled me in his arms, I was sitting there in something that resembled a fetal position; my head was on his chest, my hands were holding my knees close to my body and he kept his arms locked around me. As I kept crying, he kissed the top of my head and he kept repeating ‘I’m holding you now don’t worry, I’m here, it’s gonna be okay’ after a while I’m pretty sure I fell asleep and he carried me to bed. I woke up sometime around midnight and I was alone, I got up and I walked to the living room, he was lying on the couch watching tv. When he saw me smiled and sat up ‘are you feeling okay?’ ‘yes, aren’t you sleepy’ ‘not really, I’m watching a movie… do you want to talk about what happened?’ ‘well’ I said as I took a seat next to him. ‘I told my family about us and long story short I don’t think they consider me their daughter anymore’ I said and I laughed a little at how dumb what I just said sounded, but Jiyong didn’t think it was funny, at all. ‘Are you serious?’ it was the first time I had seen him this angry with something I told him. ‘How could they say such thing to their child? I can’t believe they did this to you on your birthday for fuck’s sake’ ‘it’s okay Jiyong, please don’t start yelling too’ with those words he instantly went back to normal, he then put his hands on my shoulders, and he looked straight into my eyes. ‘Screw them baby, if they can’t respect your choices, they’re not your family, I’m your family from now on’ after that declaration he kissed my nose and he whispered ‘I’m here for you okay?’ before we cuddled up to watch the movie he was watching but shortly after I was asleep again in his arms. His words felt oddly reassuring and somehow, I didn’t worry too much about the family I had lost that day, because I became a part of another one.

It’s a few weeks late to do something like this, but hey, might as well. Last year, I wrote a story called “A Summer Shanty”, which was basically a combination of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (well, four horsepeople; this isn’t a Good Omens thing, I wrote this before the live-action series came out and got big, but I do love that book) with a modern and somewhat more cynical take on A Christmas Carol, born out of need to get out a lot of negative feelings I felt about billionaires (because they suck) and whatnot. I submitted it for Bogleech’s story contest thing (which, if it’s a problem posting this here, please inform me), so it’s all up there, I just have this kind of urge to put it up here. Maybe get more people to see it, maybe just have out there, who knows? But hey, if it sounds like something you’d like, feel free to read. Gonna be splitting it up here, into little segments, so expected the next one tomorrow or something.

A Summer Shanty, Part 1

The world was getting warmer. It was obvious by this point. Shame there was nothing to be done about it.

Such were the thoughts of one Gregory Louis Morgan as he sat back in his poolside chair. The Chairman and CEO of Renfield Industrial was celebrating another lovely Fourth of July in his own private villa. He had earned some time off from running his multi-billion dollar conglomerate and was taking a well-deserved summer vacation. 

Sure, there was always work to be done at some point, but what was the point if he couldn’t enjoy himself every so often? He really did deserve to indulge himself every now and then. A man who traveled as much as he did had certainly earned a little relaxation.

Morgan wasn’t about to retire though. He would go stir crazy in a week if he had to give up his business for some worthless life of leisure. To give up the board meetings, the dinner meetings, the financial reports...No, he was like a shark in that regard. He would always keep moving.

Morgan chuckled to himself as he took a sip of his margarita. That was a clever little metaphor of his. Fitting, even, considering the nearby coast. 

The heat had gone down as the night dragged on, and the din of fireworks had gradually subsided as revelers, red-blooded Americans celebrating their nation’s independence in a grand show of lights, gradually went off to drink or party or even sleep. Whatever those types of people did. 

Morgan preferred his parties more subdued. Less aggravating, in that way. People could be so noisy. 

Morgan valued his quiet.

“Heh. Well, ain’t this snazzy?”

Morgan’s eyes snapped open as he sat up and glanced around. There. 

The billionaire smiled as he slowly stood to face the younger man standing by his pool in a Hawaiian shirt and cargo shorts. “You’re on private property, young man. You need to leave, now.” 

He kept the false smile on as he took in the lightly tanned man’s clean cut appearance, his dark brown hair cropped short. The man was taller than Morgan, slightly, and had more of a muscular figure than the aging billionaire. Hm. Was he one of his security officers?

“Nah, sorry old timer. I’m right where I’m supposed to be tonight.”

Morgan’s lips twitched and he idly pressed the security signal in his pocket. Really, the layabouts should have arrested this man before he even got this far. “No, you’re not. Are you drunk, boy? You are in my home.”

“Yeah, I am,” the blond man replied, his brown eyes oddly bright in the patio lights...Wait...No, it was some trick of the light. “And your home is where I’m supposed-”

“No, it isn’t. Get out of my damn house already! Do you even have any idea in that drunken mind of yours where you wandered into?!” Morgan snarled, dropping all pretense of civility in the face of the idiot’s lackadaisical response. Where the hell was his security anyway? And why didn’t Tatiana notice this idiot? How did even get past his gate, much less the fences?

“Woah now man. No need for all that hostility,” the man replied, an odd accent to his word-Wait, wasn’t he white? Why did he look hispanic now? The man placed a hand on his chest, smiling with pearly white teeth. “Me llamo Jonathan Doe. You can call me John.”

“I-What?! No, that is it, I am done with this!” Morgan strode over to the man and grabbed him by the front of his shirt, bodily yanking him down to his eye level. “You will get out of my home immediately or-”

And the man’s face cracked. “You’re being really rude right now, Mister Morgan.” 

Doe smiled. He looked...arabic? What? There was a crack splitting across his forehead, some sort of glow-

Morgan yelped as he was shoved backward, landing right on his rear. “W-What?! What-H-How did you just-What?!”

“Wow, real articulate. First you shout, then you put hands on me? Man, you old bastards really can’t handle your temper.” The now black man smiled, squatting down in front of him. “So, Morgan, we need to talk.”

“I-I...I will not be treated like this! What even are you supposed to be!? Some...Some kind of radical trying to extort me-”

“Hey man, that’s real rude.” Doe frowned and sat down fully, his legs crossed. He looked different again, his skin a lighter shade of brown, his face narrower. “Real rude. I’m just here to tell you what’s going on tonight, for you and you alone.”

“What?”

“You keep saying that. Why not try listening for a second?”

“Ah, you-” Doe held up a hand and Morgan felt a sudden surge of rage. “I WILL NOT-”

And then he couldn’t speak. He couldn’t make any noise come out of his mouth.

Doe sighed, running a hand over his short hair. “Y’know, I doubt Marley had to deal with this shit back in the day.” 

Morgan tried to speak again, tried to shout at the bastard in front of him, tried to call for someone. Where was his security!? Where were his dogs?! Where was...Where was anyone?

He looked towards his house. All the lights were off. There...wasn’t anything there. At all. No motion in the house whatsoever, no indication that anyone was home. How could that…

He stood, surprisingly easily...there was no pain in his knees. He’d been shoved to the ground but his back was fine. The moon was still high in the sky, half of it shrouded in darkness. He couldn’t hear any noise either. He looked lower, and saw that the suburbs below him were dark too. Dark, and silent.

Only the lights around his pool were still on. There couldn’t be a blackout. That didn’t…

Doe was standing again, his hands in his pockets. He was smiling again. He looked Asian now. “Okay, I think you’ve reached the point where you gotta listen. Good, didn’t want to start cutting into the schedule or anything.” 

“Schedule?” Wait, what? “I can talk?”

“When you’re not trying to shout, sure. Now, I think we got off on the wrong foot here.” The redhead grinned, holding out a freckled hand. “My name’s John Doe. You’re Mister Greg Morgan. It’s interesting to meet you.”

Morgan didn’t take his hand. “...This is a dream. Ha, so that’s it...I fell asleep at my chair and this is a dream.”

Doe kept smiling, but dropped his hand, pocketing it again. “Heh. You’re going to be a piece of work.”

“You can’t speak to me like that,” Morgan snapped, before huffing, fixing his polo shirt. “So what, are you supposed to be made up of all the employees I’ve ever fired or something?”

“Nah, worse than that.” John Doe grinned. “But we’re not at that yet. We’re talking about you, Mister Morgan. You’ve been chosen for a little something something.”

“Oh? And what would this be, Mister Doe?”

“Ha, wow, you sure change your tune fast when it suits you.” Doe chuckled for a moment. “Congrats Mister Morgan, you’re getting Caroled.”

“...What?”

“C’mon. You must’ve seen, like, any cartoon in the last sixty years or so. Dickens, pal. Think.”

Morgan blinked, then scowled. “You can’t be serious. It’s nowhere near Christmas! And I’m no Scrooge! I’ve earned every penny I have and I’m entitled to use it as I wish!”

“You’ve earned a lot more than pennies, Mister Morgan,” Doe replied. “And no, it’s not quite that.”

“What is it then? Am I to be visited by three ghosts to teach me the meaning of materialism or whatever that trash was about?”

“No, Mister Morgan. You don’t get ghosts. You get worse.” Doe’s smile was thin. “See, you’re thinking of a story where a miserable miser driven by loneliness finds his heart. A wonderful classic, teaching the good in people. 

“This ain’t that kind of story, Mister Morgan.” The crack on his forehead began to split further. “You’re not that kind of man, so you get a different one. Congrats though. It’s practically an honor here.” Doe smiled, and his cheeks cracked, an orange glow visible in his split skin. “You get to represent America, Mister Morgan. You’re the perfect man for the job.”

“...What? What...What could you possibly mean by that?” Morgan mumble, staring transfixed as the man’s skin burst into flame.

Doe kept smiling even as his skin burnt the color of charcoal, embers lighting every inch of his body. “You’ll see. As a little hint, I’ll tell you a secret.” He leaned in close, his grin wide and his teeth black. “Hell’s real, Mister Morgan. Hell is very, very real, for men like you. 

“Oh, and to answer your earlier question, I’m a soldier, Mister Morgan.” His eyes were gone. Two burning pits were in their place. “Just a soldier.”

~1~

Morgan woke with a start, flinched as he blinked. He sat up in his pool chair and looked around. His lights were still on. Every light in his house was still on. The houses below had their lights on too.

“...Heh. Hehahah...I knew it was a dream,” he muttered to himself as he stood up from his pool chair. Suddenly falling asleep like that was unusual for him...perhaps he was letting himself relax a tad too much. Lying down in his actual bed would do him some good, particularly with how late it had grown.

He stood and started walking back to his home. How late was it, even? He checked his watch as he stood up from his pool chair. One in the morning. Really now? It had gotten quite late all of a sudden. He really should be in bed by now.

He stood up and walked to the patio door. It led to a living room. He had a few of those. He slid open his door and stepped inside and blinked at the light of his study. Which was on the second floor, overlooking his pool. 

“...How...did I get here?” he mumbled to himself as he sat down in his leather office chair. Had it always felt this comfortable? He quite enjoyed the brown look to it too. It fit well with the color of his full bookshelves and the wood of his desk. All mahogany, all very cozy. 

“Really? Rand? Wow, way to stereotype yourself, jackass,” muttered the white woman looking through his bookshelves. She pulled a book, flipped through it, and casually tossed it over her shoulder.

Morgan blinked, and sat up in his seat, instantly alert. “What? Who the-Who are you supposed to be?!”

“Johnny Boy told you, asshole. I’m your first visitor tonight. Gotta say, not real fucking impressed,” the white woman replied. And by God, she was white. Her skin looked like new-fallen snow, and her hair, tied back in a bun and covered by a white bowler, was equally ivory. She was dressed in a long white coat and a long white skirt with white shoes. From what he could see, even the frames of her glasses were white. 

In fact...everything about her was white. Morgan couldn’t see any hint of shadow on her body. The woman was entirely white. There was no hint of yellow or gray like some shades, it was just all white. Every inch-

“Hey asshole. Eyes are up here,” the white woman spoke again, turning to face him with a hand still on the bookcase. He couldn’t see her eyes. They were completely covered by her round glasses. Even the lenses were white. How in the world could she see out of them?

She pointed at her lenses with two fingers, clenched her fist, and then pointed both fingers at him. She stared at him and he stared back and she huffed in irritation and crossed the room in two strides and slammed her hands on his desk. “GAH!”

“So now you wanna fucking speak? Fuck me, I thought this would be a fun gig,” she complained, sitting back in a white chair that looked exactly like Morgan’s own.

“...No. No, no, this isn’t happening,” Morgan began, shaking his head, “Earlier was a dream, and this is just another one-ow!” He rubbed his head, blinking in surprised pain as the woman lowered a white walking cane with a rounded top. She slipped it into the crook of her arm and smirked at him.

“Good, now you can actually fucking listen.”

“...You’re very foul-mouthed for a woman.” She just smirked back at him. “So...So then what is this supposed to be? Are you going to carry me around on some wondrous vision of my own past so I can appreciate what I have now?”

“Fuck no. I’m not here to deal with namby-pamby bullshit like that, Greg.” She suddenly leaned back and put her feet up on his desk. He noticed how the soles of her dress shoes were also white before indignation overtook him.

“Get your shoes off of my desk!”

“No. Alright, let’s see,” the woman muttered, leafing through a green book that was suddenly in her hands. “So, Greggy Morgan, son of blah blah blah, some old fuck rich bastard and a woman who doesn’t matter-”

“What? My mother was-”

“Oi.” She pointed at him with one hand, the other still flipping through her book. “Don’t interrupt me while I’m working. Born in Kansas, moved to Texas, lovin’ those as’s. Studied business, economics, shit philosophy, lots of emphasis on ‘personal freedoms’, built up an inherited company, oil and refinery, ties to agriculture and pharmaceuticals, got tons of subsidiaries, damn, you’re a regular king capitalist, huh?” She closed the book with a snap and tossed it to the side. 

Another book, this one with a gold-cover, was in her hands already as Morgan frowned. “...Was that it?”

“Fuck no, again. So, big supporter of the free market, personal freedoms, all that.”

“Yes, I am. Is there a problem with that?”

“Everything’s a problem to someone, dumbass. You could say you’re all for giving free money to everyone and you’d have bitches whining about unwarranted charity. Hell, you could say you’re pro-puppy petting and some bitch would whine about the wasted time to pet them. Bitches whine, it’s what dogs do.”

“...Is there a point to this?”

“Everything has a point, dumbass. Fucking hell, that college fucking education didn’t do jack for you, did it? No, that’s one’s not totally fair, is it? Education cures ignorance, not stupid. Can’t do anything for a dumbass that insists on being blind and deaf.”

“I don’t need to take this,” Morgan bit out. He stood and-

He was on the floor, clutching his temple. “...A-Ah…” 

“Oi.” Suddenly, the woman’s white face was in front of his, her lips turned down in a small frown. He couldn’t see her eyes behind her glasses. She was using her walking cane to hold herself up as she leaned down towards him. “I didn’t say you could stand.”

“...You hit me.”

“Yeah, I did. Isn’t that what you do with unruly children? You say that often enough. Gotta give them discipline, no more participation trophies.” She snorted, smirking again. “That one always gets me. Parents act like they didn’t demand the trophies so their shitty kids wouldn’t look like failures, blame it on the kids they fucked over. It’s fun, y’know?”

“...What?”

“Every piece of shit passes down their own fuck-ups to their kids, creating more and more fuck-ups.” She abruptly giggled. “You have to wonder, where did all start? Where will it all end? But then again, we all know where everything ends, don’t we?” She held out her hand to him. “C’mon. You’re getting up now.”

Morgan didn’t take her hand. He pushed himself up, stood on his own two feet, and touched two fingers to his temple. There was no blood. In fact, his pain seemed to be fading remarkably quickly.

The woman stood too, still smirking. “You just reminded me of something hilarious.”

Morgan stared at her, slowly brushing himself off. They weren’t in his office anymore. They were in some kind of white hall… “Where are we-OW!” The damned woman hit him again!

“Oi, listen when your betters talk. Now, like I was saying-”

“You are not-AGH! STOP THAT!” 

And then her hand was around his throat. He gulped as she spoke. “Now, as I was saying, I found out a really damn funny thing some time ago. A bunch of you idiots seem to have started using the phrase ‘pulling yourself up by your bootstraps’.” 

She grinned at him, tracing her thumb over his Adam’s apple. “See, what makes that funny is that the phrase originally refers to a fuck up you Americans got. A little misattribution of an old wives’ tale, and even then the meaning still refers to something so ludicrously impossible that it simply can’t be done. Like, say, pulling yourself over a fence by lifting up on your bootstraps.

“And seeing you, Greg, fumble as you tried to get up, reminded me of that. Ain’t memory fun?”

“...I see. So is this place supposed to lead back into my memories then?”

“No, dumbass,” she stated, her tone flat, “We’re here for a different reason. C’mon, walk and talk.”

She let go of his neck and wrapped her arm over his shoulders, leading him further down the hallway. He could see doors along the wall, plain white doors, but all of them were closed. Though, he could vaguely hear something…Voices? It was hard to tell. The clack of the woman’s shoes drowned out most of the sound.

“So, what’s up first on our agenda? Race, religion, sex? No, no, we don’t have enough time to focus on all of that shit. They’re all fucked, of course, but I can’t get to everything here, you dig?”

“...”

“Medicine it is! Hey, Greggy, you ever think to yourself about all the people those pharmaceutical companies of yours murder?”

“What? What in the world are you talking about?” he asked, turning his gaze on her as she continued to pull him along the hallway. “No company I support has ever murdered anyone and insinuating that is-” He bit back his instinct to bring up defamation and slander. What good would it do him in this sort of situation? In a dream. A dream, of course, because this couldn’t be real, and the thug dragging him along wasn’t real.

He still didn’t expect her to outright cackle. The woman didn’t slow her pace in the slightest as she roared with laughter, her amusement wild and unrestrained. “Eheheheheheha~! Pull the other one, it’s got bells on.” She cracked another grin. “You really shouldn’t lie to my fucking face, Greggy boy. It looks bad on you.”

“I am not lying, I…” What was the right answer here? “While certain individuals within companies that I hold shares in may provide financial support to other individuals who could have committed less than moral actions in their pasts, I do not condone nor support murderers.”

“Cut the legal speak and the bullshit along with it. Your hard-on for the military aside-”

“I support our great nation’s soldiers-!”

“SHUT IT!” she barked right in his face, snarling down at him until she abruptly grinned again. “Now, we’re leaving that can of maggots for later. My session here’s all about how you, Greggy the investor, Greggy the shareholder, Greggy the lobbyist, support the thieving pricks making money off of human suffering. Granted, that’s all capitalists, but we’re talking about the ones that rip teeth from the sick this time.”

“Companies have a right to profit from their products,” he retorted. “They put in time, effort, and money into their work and the profits garnered from those sales go back to supporting the very companies that produce the medicine.”

“Aw, cute, you actually believe that. It doesn’t help people who can’t afford the medicine, but fair enough. You gotta look out for you and yours first, right? Fuck everyone else, you gotta survive in a hellish world where the merest disease or injury can throw you out on the streets with tens to hundreds of thousands of dollars of medical debt to you name, all because the top dogs want their crap to land on someone when they shit. It’s a fun little cycle.” 

Morgan rolled his eyes. “That’s why people get insurance.”

“Ooo, yeah, because everyone can afford insurance, and it’s such a good idea~! Everybody’s just gotta do as they’re told, pay their dues, and march right up the death panel that decides whether their coverage is good enough to save their life! And God help you if you can’t make payment! Not everyone can be born a CEO, Greggy boy.”

He sighed in irritation. The woman felt like a culmination of every idiot undergrad who thought Marx was their damn savior. “Think for a moment. A CEO runs their company. They manage the production and distribution so everyone can be rewarded for their efforts and therefore-”

Her hand abruptly clamped down on his nose. “And that’s real cute. They get to sit up there in their big boy offices pretending that what they say and do actually matters. Lead the company! Direct the troops! Be our king. But that’s not what we’re talking about, is it?”

Her fingers tightened around his nose. “Gh...l-let go-”

“Shhhhh. I want you to look around you, Greggy. I want you to recognize where we are.”

“What? What does that have to do-”

“Oh for fuck’s sake man.” She swung her cane out, the door opened, and-

“GOOD LORD!” He stared in horror at horribly scarred thing in the room, in a hospital bed–it was a hospital and terrible bumps and lesions covered-

A hand slapped the back of his head and he was being dragged along again. “Don’t be fucking rude, asshole.”

“W-What was that?”

“That was Ailen.”

“A-Ailen?”

“Yeah, Ailen. She needs a change of blankets,” she explained casually. “Do you want to go back and say hi?

“No! No, no, n-never!” he immediately snapped, shaking his head rapidly. 

“Aw, shame. You’re losing out, buddy boy. And besides, why such a bad reaction? I did say this was a hospital. You’re bound to see some gross shit.”

“...W-Why am I in a hospital?” he asked, glancing back at the room for a moment. More of the doors opened and he immediately averted his gaze, trying to look forward. “What even was that?”

“I told you-”

“NOT WHO! WHAT!” he snapped and then he was on the floor again, clutching his nose. Good God had she just broken it??

He was yanked to his feet again and she kept pulling him along, holding him around his waist as groans started to fill the air. 

“Oh, just a fun little remnant of your shitty country’s past victories, about the only thing you fucks can count on. You want to know something funny, Greggy?”

“...Y-You...y-you just broke my nose-”

“HA! Ah, that is funny.” She grinned down at him with pearly white teeth. Had she gotten taller? “But no, this is funnier. Did you know Pratchett and Gaiman thought I was on my way out way back when? See, they thought things like antibiotics, disinfectants, penicillin especially, all that fun stuff, would drive me on my way out. Hell, they put fucking Pollution in my place! 

She took a drag of a cigarette, white smoke filling the air. “Now that was cute, real cute, brat got a real chuckle out of that one. Cute kid, really, kinda dumb, but working her way up there. Could sink your entire world one of these days but my point is, you dumb mother fucker, is that I’m still around and not going anywhere because of people like you.”

Morgan blinked, trying to keep himself from tearing up as he clutched his nose. He had to breathe through his mouth because it felt like blood was leaking from his nostrils. “W-What?”

“Oh you poor stupid bitch. Don’t you get it yet? Why I’m one of the chucklefucks here for your stupid salvation drive? I’m one of the big ones, the fun ones, the kindly ones that rip out all your throats and guzzle down every bit of sweet, salty nectar in your pus-ridden bodies~!” she giggled, high-pitched and psychotic. “Oh now don’t be rude now~. We’re running a ‘scare you straight’ program and it won’t do if you start thinking uncharitable things about the mentally unwell~! Another thing I have to thank your people for, by the way!”

“W-What-” The doors were banging open faster and faster as they walked. Everything was starting to become a white blur but he could hear vomiting, defecations, revoltingly leaky noises-

“What what what, you keep saying what, say something that matters! Look, think, you’re on a fucking one way road, dumbass. You profit from the sick, you demonize the mental, you call the broken lazy while you sip pina fucking coladas by the poolside~! You fuck and fuck on an old, broken dick while people writhe and die with cunts full of cysts because you can’t be assed to let them control their own vags! You don’t get it yet, but you’re my favorite kind of vile bastard!”

She suddenly lifted him up and he was eye level with her, his feet off the ground as she grinned wide and carried him through the hall. “Eheheheheha~! Oh, if only you were an outright anti-vaxxer instead of just supporting their ‘freedom of choice’~! I’d throw you down and fuck you right here and now and fill your cock up with every nasty infection your abstinence only shit can’t name~!”

He went pale. “L-Let me down, let me down right-”

And then he was on the ground and she was dragging him by the leg and at the end of the hall a set of double doors opened and he saw an endless white void. “N-No no no! No, let go of me! Stop, stop you can’t do this to me!”

“I can’t~? Why can’t I~? I have the freedom to do this~! It’s my right to choose, and it overrides yours.”

“STOP! STOP THIS RIGHT NOW! YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME! THIS CAN’T HAPPEN TO ME!” And suddenly she pulled him up again and smiled. In an instant, she looked almost kind, the lights of the hall behind her, now silent, illuminating her white face in an almost serene glow. And then he felt the pit at the edge of his feet.

He couldn’t stop himself from looking back. Behind and below him, there was a massive pit, far larger than anything he’d ever seen, and it was full of bones. Bleached, white bones. “W-What?”

“Aw, really? What, again? Jeez, I thought you’d have something more impressive to say.”

“...W-Why did you bring me here? Why are those down there?”

“So you could see it. And those down there are the bones of every human being killed by the good old United States of America through disease. Down at the bottom you have the smallpoxed Natives, further above you have the hundred thousand AIDs victims old Ronny Regs condemned to death–and hey, if you look close enough, you might see him still trying to climb out–sprinkled all around are the thousands of people your shitty health care let die because it was cheaper than saving them, and in between are the poor fucks who got the short end of the deregulation stick. Rot in the food, filth in the waters, smog in the sky. All those amazingly fun shitshows~.” 

She giggled again and leaned close to him, her smile wide and white. Up close, he could see the inside of her mouth was white too, from her gums to her tongue and every last one of her teeth and the whiteness wasn’t clean. She didn’t look like some pristine, marble statue, no, she was absolutely covered in blisters and lesions so white they all created a pale patchwork over her entire face. “You people are definitely some of my favorite~.”

“Y-You said that before,” Morgan said, starting to nod and smile, trying to keep down his bile. “Y-You said I was your favorite. S-So, please, I can give you so much-”

“Oh? Would you leave your third wife for me then?”

“YES! Yes, anything!”

She laughed again, high and giddy. “You’re so easy! Ah, a fucked up slut to the end then~.”

He paled. “Th-The end?”

“No, not yet. Just for part one.” She abruptly smirked, her hand going and grabbing the collar of his shirt. “Before you go, though, you deserve a little treat. Now, I’m not going to fuck you, because frankly I could do better, but I’ll give you a good look, kay~?”

“I-What?” What did she-Was she going to-

The woman reached up and pulled her glasses free from her face. She tilted her head, smiling at him with white eyes. Wriggling, white eyes. Shifting, twitching, white maggots spilling from her eye sockets and-

Morgan screamed and pushed her back. She was far too solid for him to move but he went backward and into the open air, watching her smile as the maggots wriggled from her eyes. He saw her hold one on her fingers, lift it to her lips and give it a little kiss before he hit-

And then Morgan woke up in his office chair.

Partners - AU Frat Logan - Part 15

A/N: A special thank you to @benbarnesescape for talking some of my ideas out with me- thank you for always listening to me ramble! Also, parts of this are NSFW, yadda yadda

When you got up to Logan’s hospital room, he was fast asleep. His poor arm was already casted and hanging limply at his side. It wouldn’t have taken you so long to get here if Juliet hadn’t called their mom and made you recount the whole sordid tale to her. Then, the two of them convinced you to wait at the field for her so you could all go see him together. You felt guilty about not being there when Logan would have rolled in, as you had promised, but you were sure he’d understand as soon as you told him it was because his family insisted you go with them.

Juliet and Susan were outside talking to the doctor for a long time and you didn’t want to over stay your welcome when they began discussing payment and other private matters. You had just sunk down into a rather uncomfortable chair in the corner of the sterile room when you heard him stir under the sheets on his bed. His eyes slowly fluttered open and scanned the room. When they finally fell on you curled up in the corner, a wide grin spread across his face.

“You lied,” he sang, his voice a little hoarse.

“About what?”

“You said you’d be here when I got here,” he teased.

“Well, your mom and sister kind of made me wait for them.” You stood up and walked over to the side of his bed before perching yourself next to him and pushing his sweaty hair back off his forehead. “I can’t disobey the Beal women.”

“Sure you can. I do all the time,” he laughed. You giggled along with him, taking in his sleepy gaze and bright smile.

“You better not!” a voice called as the room door swung open. Juliet stuck her tongue out at Logan who promptly flipped her off. “Glad to see you’re feeling well enough to have an attitude.”

“Juliet, hush! Your brother is in awful pain,” his mother added before taking a seat and glaring at her. “How are you, sweetheart?”

“Doin ok, ma. I’ve got all my girls here, what more could a guy want?” he said smoothly. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, earning a laugh from Juliet.

The four of you sat for a while going over the game, which you had ended up losing with Logan getting carted off. He was disappointed and aggravated to say the least. He told his mom all the details he could remember while doctors came in and out of the room every so often with updates about his release and asking him how he was holding up. As a concussion protocol, he would have to stay overnight, which was making him crazy. You knew he just wanted to go home and stop having people he didn’t know fuss over him and interrupt him every 10 minutes. All you could do was lie next to him and try to keep his temper in check.

After a while, Juliet and Susan decided they’d head back home and check on him tomorrow morning before he would be discharged. They had offered you a ride home or to stay at their home with them, but Logan made you promise in front of them that you’d stay in the cramped little twin bed with him. His mother kissed his forehead goodbye and Juliet gave him a curt wave before they departed, shutting the door tight behind them. Immediately, Logan’s mouth was on your neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses down to your collarbone. You gave him a light shove on his chest which made him look up at you.

“What?” he asked with wide eyes.

“What do you mean ‘what’? You think you’re gonna fuck me on this tiny ass bed?” you laughed.

“Um yeah? That’s kind of the plan.” He looked at you, arching an eyebrow as if what he wanted was the most mundane request.

“I don’t think so, Lo,” you smiled before giving him a long kiss. When you pulled your lips away, he let out a pitiful, dramatic groan.

“I’ve already had to wait like a whole week just to see you outside of class and now I can’t even fuck that pretty little pussy of yours until tomorrow?” He jutted out his bottom lip.

“Who said anything about tomorrow?” you quipped. He furrowed his brow before placing his mouth on yours, moving against your lips slowly. His pace was absolutely torturing; you wanted more of him immediately. Logan ran his tongue along your bottom lip, drawing out the absolute agony you were in. All you could think about was how you could very easily kiss Logan every moment for the rest of your life. There couldn’t possibly be anything better than feeling his mouth on yours. Involuntarily, you let out a moan as he gently nipped at your already swelling lips.

“C’mon, princess,” he huffed, his voice tinted with that dark edge that came out when he really wanted you. His lips had now moved down your jawline and was tracing down the side of your neck. His offer was so tempting, too tempting. Your body was screaming at you to hop on top of him and ride him until the nurses caught you. But your brain kept nagging you to have a little composure and not get so intoxicated by his kisses.  You pulled his chin up and he looked up and you with his big, brown eyes, his lips still pursed and ready to continue moving on your skin.

“Tomorrow,” you said somewhat sternly, but there was still a smile plastered on your face. His face dropped a little, but he nodded his head in your palm.

“Tomorrow.”

Ever since you left the field, you’d been thinking about what you had said only to yourself as Logan was taken away. Right now, laying with him, lazily kissing his chest and neck, you wanted nothing more than to tell him you loved him. The cheap TV buzzed quietly in the background, setting the soundtrack to the thoughts wildly whirling in your head. You loved his arrogance and his sense of humor, his chest and his biceps, his wit and his ability to be sweet when he so desired. No one, outside of your mother perhaps, had made you feel as safe to be your authentic self. The words were forming on your lips and your heart rate began to pick up. You’d never allowed yourself to be this completely vulnerable to another man and quite frankly, it scared the shit out of you. Just as your lips parted, the words threatening to fall out right then and there, Logan yawned and pulled you close into his chest.

“I’m sleepy, babe,” he drawled, letting his eyes flutter shut. You let out a long breath and nodded into his hospital gown.

“Me too,” you agreed. You lifted your head just slightly to give him one last kiss before joining him in sleep. “Goodnight, Lo.”

“Night, sweetheart.”

—-

Logan was discharged without a concussion the next morning. You urged him to be thankful for this fact, but he simply couldn’t get past having to be in a cast for the next three weeks. The very sight of it irritated him; its hard, black exterior was a constant reminder of the loss and his inability to bring home the big win. By early afternoon, you had brought Logan back home to the Delta Chi house. His brothers had been kind enough to clean up a little and left a six pack of his favorite beer on his bed. When he walked in and saw the gift, he let out a sad sigh. You pulled back the covers for him and helped him get settled in bed. As you started to put away some of his things, you turned back to keep an eye on him. He was looking out his window almost wistfully, something clearly weighing heavily on his mind. You finished up quickly and scooted in bed next to him, taking his free hand.

“What’s going on up there?” you asked, scanning your eyes up to his forehead.

“They shouldn’t have left me a fucking gift,” he huffed, still not taking his gaze from the window.

“They’re just happy you’re ok. No one is mad at you,” you assured him.

“Well, they should be. I let all of them down. We should have won!” He finally turned to face you, his eyes glossed over. It occurred to you that this accident made him feel like a failure of a captain, something you had reminded him the night before was simply not true.

“Logan, it wasn’t your fault! Some asshole took a cheap shot and you landed wrong. That’s not something you have control over. The boys all know that,” you said as soothingly as you could muster. You ran your palm along his short beard; he let his cheek melt into your touch.

“Can’t help it. It just feels shitty,” he almost whispered.

“I know baby.” You gave him a quick kiss. “I’m just happy you’re ok. Watching you fall like that and get thrown into the back of an ambulance was fucking terrifying,” you admitted to him, talking for the first time about all the emotions that surged through you during those few, fleeting moments.

“Yeah,” he began to laugh, “I do remember you were gonna charge that fucker. Thanks for sticking up for me, babe,” he winked. You blushed and shook your head.

“What can I say? I was mad as hell,” you smiled.

“Kinda sexy when you get all worked up like that.” He nudged you a little and raised an eyebrow at you. You rolled your eyes at him and nuzzled into his shoulder. Now is your chance, you thought you yourself. If you were going to tell Logan about everything you thought that day on the field, the time was nigh.

“There was something else I thought about when I was out on the field with you,” you began. Logan cocked his head slightly, just enough so he could look down at your face. “I uh…I…”

“Spit it out, princess. It’s just me.”

“I love you, Logan,” you said simply in a small voice. You watched his face intently, you stomach a mess of knots anticipating his reaction. His eyebrow arched in confusion.

“Yeah, I know?” he said, his voice thick with questioning.

“What do you mean, ‘I know’?” you asked, a little irritated.

“I mean I know we love each other. Like, of course you do.” He shook his head a little, unsure why you thought this was a revelation. You pushed off him a little bit so you could look at him straight on, your brow furrowed and internal temperature rising.

“Of course I d…? Logan! I am trying to be open and vulnerable with you here and you’re just acting like ‘oh whatever’ about it!” You were beginning to work yourself up into a tizzy. Logan just sat there looking at you, confusion painted on his face.

“Babe, I’m not trying to piss you off. I just felt like that was something we both knew and assumed,” he shrugged.

“So what? You were just never going to vocalize that to me?” you questioned. “Do you know how much I had to psyche myself up just to physically make those words come out of my mouth? Do you think that’s something I just say to anyone?” Logan opened his mouth to respond, but you quickly cut him off. “It’s not, Lo. Ok? It’s not. In fact, it’s the first time I’ve said it to someone who’s not in my family or my best friend. So, I don’t know, I guess I thought I would get a little more from you.”

Just before you could continue your diatribe, Logan wrapped his hand under your chin, pulling your lips to his. He kissed you with all the passion he had the first time you’d been on this bed and he had first put his lips on yours. When he pulled away, he kept your face held in his hand, his dark eyes pouring into yours.

“I love you, Y/N. I feel it every time I see you, every time I kiss you, every time I fuck you,” he smiled at the last one, “and I’m sorry for making you feel like it wasn’t a big deal.” Logan let your chin go and invited you back into his arms. You happily slid back in, your anger dialing back down. “If I’m being honest, it’s scary for me too. You think I’ve told a girl I love her before?”

“No, I don’t.” You both laughed at the idea, able to poke fun of Logan and his reputation.

“You think I let any old girl who walks into this house meet my mom and sister?” he asked, stroking your hair gently. You shook your head into his chest. Maybe his love language was different than yours. In fact, you knew it was. He was one to show, not tell. Often, he kept his feelings and thoughts to himself. But he always made sure to do things like send you flowers or walk with his hand on the small of your back or open car doors for you. That was him telling you how much he cared about you. He never did that for anyone besides you. You were his girl and he’s been trying to tell you that all along, in his own Logan way.

“Sorry for being kind of a dick,” you mumbled into his shoulder. You felt his chest rumble with laughter under you.

“You’re not being a dick, babes. But,” he began and you could see the glint in his eye change ever so slightly, “My dick has been missing you and that pretty little mouth of yours like crazy.”

“Very smooth transition there,” you laughed, positioning yourself on top of him.

“Yeah? You like that one?” he smirked, letting his gaze fall to your lips. You bit your lip and nodded, making him groan. “You can’t bite your lip at me like that, princess. It’s not nice to tease.”

You began to kiss your way down his neck, biting lightly at his soft skin. Your hands trailed down his chest to the waistband of his sweats, which you were quick to push down his thighs. Logan let out a sigh as he watched you work your way down the length of his body, finally nestling between his thighs. Looking at you with his hard cock resting just below your lips was enough to send him over the edge right then. For over a week, he’d been anticipating when you’d be his once again.

Slowly, you took his tip between your lips, creating just enough pressure to force his eyes closed. He hissed in through his teeth, the little contact you had creating driving him mad. You could see he was desperate for you, and you thought given his last 24 hours, now was not the time to tease him. You took in a deep breath and lowered your lips down to the base of his cock, taking him in fully. Immediately, a string of profanities came flooding out of his mouth. You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face at his instant ecstasy. Keeping a steady rhythm, you moved your mouth up and down his shaft, varying your pressure. He was staring down at you, his jaw slack and fingers knotting in your hair. This was what you had been dreaming about all those nights this last week when all you could do was naughty FaceTime. Your own wetness began to pool between your thighs as you picked up the tempo.

Logan was already a shaking mess when you pulled off slightly to swirl your tongue around the dripping head of his cock. While he had his head thrown back and eyes clenched shut, you gently reached between his legs, tugging gently at his balls. The contact made his eyes spring open, looking down at you in wonder and pleasure. You took him into your mouth once again, continuing massaging him as you did.

“Princess, you look so beautiful right now,” he purred, petting your hair as you looked into each other’s eyes. You could feel him getting close as he haphazardly began to raise his hips, trying anything he could to get additional contact. The breaths coming from him were ragged and becoming more and more uneven. You took him all the way to the back of your throat one last time before you heard his breathing catch and his warm seed coat the inside of your mouth. Gently, you cleaned him up and wiped the corner of your lips, savoring the last of him. Logan reached down and stroked your cheek, smiling a sleepy smile.

“I love you.”

Ten Years- Daryl Dixon AU

Plot/Request: Anon requested- “hey ! I was wondering if I could request a Daryl AU where Daryl and the reader are in their senior year o high school and they've been close with each other since childhood but the reader is badly bullied by her peers some of which are daryl's friends but when Daryl finds out he goes crazy angry and almost gets expelled? lol I thought this would be kinda cute and would distract me from what's actually going on in wtd rn lol”

Word count: 1939


Warnings: bullying, violence, swearing

Note:
 hope everything is ok! msg me if you need to talk. this goes out to anyone who may need it, i’m here for you <3 also, i went in an odd direction with this -- sorry if it’s not what you wanted!! i might continue this ;)

also... i’m back???

Tagging: @supernotnaturalcas, @milkyblubber, @zombeeegurl, @buckaroo--barnes, @its-bri19, @bitchasaurus, @sexyseabaz, @danandphllfics, @dashesoflipstick, @thatrandomblogblog, @team-barry, @sesshomaru-lover, @machiavelliperez. inbox or message me if you’d like to be tagged in upcoming fics! (please specify if you’d like everything or certain characters/series)

—————————————————————————————

Smash.

The sound of your body hitting the locker echoed through the air. Slowly, the pain began erupting from your right shoulder. You groaned with clenched teeth.

The force that had sent you into that locker laughed, giving you a quick glance before he hurried off. You stood by the unaffected metal container, a small frown on your lips. Blinking hard, you rolled your already sore shoulder back, moaning in pain.

It was the regular torment of your day, a routine one might say. You were used to  him, Blake, toying with your already damaged mental state-- didn’t mean it hurt any less-- but it was to be expected. The physical pain, however, was quite new. What lead them to it was a mystery, but you sucked it up, just like you knew you should.

The pair of blue eyes watching from across the hall didn’t feel that he should be let off the hook. Those eyes, which had never witnessed an incident like this before felt as if something had to be done.

He knew you didn’t like when he lost his temper, so he always tried to contain it. But the sight of that asshole purposely crashing his body into yours was too much for Daryl to handle. Even as he tried to use the breathing exercises you taught him years ago, he was boiling with rage.

Hell, it was the second last day of school anyways. He didn’t care anymore.

The stuffy air of the crowded hallway quickly raced through Daryl’s lungs. His father had taught him how to hunt and how to fight. The latter being more defensive skills than anything else. Still, Daryl was a Dixon, and Dixon’s knew how to punch.

Thankfully, knuckles to the nose was all Daryl really needed to hurt the young man. A loud grunt left both of their lips, then another crash of a body slamming into a locker sounded.

“Daryl, no!” You screamed. He held back the urge to kick the now fallen teen in the stomach as he heard you. His blue eyes were lit with rage, anger and bitterness.

Blake cupped his very broken nose. Blood almost immediately began oozing out of his nostrils, his fingers gingerly touching the skin as he gasped. Daryl smirked, unaware he was even doing so.

The boy, who was expected to fight back, simply screamed for help, though not for one of his friends. The second you glanced down the hall, you saw your principal running towards you all.

“Dixon, stay back!” He screamed. Even through the layers of fake tan, you could see the redness growing on Mr. Johnson’s cheeks. You took a step back, glued to the locker behind you.

Daryl glanced at you, a slight panic in his blue eyes. Blake yelled, “Sir, he attacked me! He broke my nose!”

“Step back, boy.” The principal warned Daryl. His lanky body crunched as the abnormally tall man crouched to Blake. “Let’s get you to the nurse.” He soothed, helping the boy up.

“Dixon,” The man sighed, “My office. Now.”

Your body shook uncontrollably. There was no way Daryl was getting away with that. There was no way he wouldn’t get in trouble.

The pair of blue eyes you’d grown to know, to trust and to love stared at you with the same knowledge. Trying to keep your emotions under wrap, you pulled your textbooks closer to your chest. But your (Y/E/C) eyes still watered, a single tear slipping down your cheek.

The sight of your hurt face was too much. Daryl’s eyes ripped away from yours, feeling the imagine burn itself into his memories. Instead, he stared down to the dirty tiled floor, watching his feet as he moved farther from you.

Far enough that when he finally looked back, you were nothing but a blur.

-

The last thing you remembered of the Dixon boy was the sight of his dirty blonde hair disappearing behind the curve of the halls. You wished you remembered his eyes instead, or a rare smile of his -- but alas, the last sight you’d taken in of your childhood love was his back.

Daryl never showed up to graduation. No one spoke of him or his absence as if he’d never even gone to the school. You remembered Blake showing up with an odd looking bandage on his nose and a sheepish look on his face whenever you crossed paths.

There was nothing for you at the party afterwards, so you went home.

Your parents gave you flowers, cards and some cash. Fifty dollars, split into one twenty and three tens. They told you how sorry they were for missing your graduation, they claimed they couldn’t get the day off work.

You knew they could’ve. Both their bosses were quite flexible. But you needed the money, especially since you had been accepted into college. It was obvious that them missing the ceremony hit them harder than it did you. So you didn’t make it into a big deal. You were just happy they were there with you that night.

Two days after school had finished, you found yourself drifting down the road to his home. It was at the end of the street and as you grew closer, listening to the loud sound of gravel under your feet, you felt your stomach twist and turn.

Daryl never wanted you to come over. You’d asked to see the creek, and he’d gotten mad at you for coming that close. His father had learned through the few townsfolk who talked to him that Daryl and you were close. He teased Daryl about it, which only made the youngest Dixon fear for your safety.

He hated his father. You knew that by the way his eyes changed when someone mentioned his name. But Daryl would never admit it.

Still, you knew where it was. It was the infamous Dixon house after all.

The home was hidden behind some of the extended forest. The smell of motorcycle fuel and whiskey was strong, but as you pushed past that, you could smell the faint scent of the creek that traveled through their backyard. The small trickles of water could overcome the loud crashes and heavy voices -- if you really tried.

The town didn’t, not even the Dixons themselves. It seemed only you, at 18 years old, understood the hidden peacefulness of that home.

But that day, you couldn’t find a drop of calmness. Instead your mind went wild, making you run away.

You searched and searched for why you couldn’t just knock on the door. You knew something held you back, but what exactly, you were unsure of. Somewhere in the past ten years, it’d slipped your mind.

Tonight, you couldn’t help but feel anxious at the thought of Daryl being there -- at the reunion. The class of ‘86.

The navy blue dress was soft against your skin. It matched the tie, lying on top of the chair’s back. You could hear rustling coming from the bathroom, no doubt Alex trying to fix himself up beyond perfection.

Glancing across the cramped hotel room, you caught sight of the time -- five to six-thirty. Alex dashed out of the bathroom, pulling his tie from the chair and quickly putting it on. You watched him act at a pace that could’ve made you look like a sloth.

It didn’t take long to get to the school compared to the time it took to fly to your hometown. You couldn’t tell if the feeling in your gut was because you were anxious or about to vomit, maybe it was a combination of the two.

You could’ve sworn you’d closed your eyes for a small moment, just to let the wind brush through your hair and tickle your face, but by the time your eyes were open again, you had arrived.

The school looked the same. Even down to the placement of the bushes and trees, the building hadn’t changed at all. Roaming the halls brought back memories, some of which you’d wished hadn’t resurfaced.

Most of them were of Daryl.

A blonde woman sat at the long table, her back arched and a bright smile on her face. You felt her name at the tip of your tongue, something with an... A?

“Name?” The woman asked, engrossed in the list below her. She barely gave you a look as you approached her, Alex by your side. Clearly, she was busy.

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N) and he’s a plus one.” You smiled softly, answering.

After hearing your name, the woman’s eyes snapped up to you. It was then you noticed the same glimmer of cheer in her brown eyes. It was odd how the colour she often critiqued always seemed to shine the brightest for most.

Amanda, who was one of your closest friends in eleventh grade whispered, “(Y/N)-- holy shit.” Her words trailed off, following your body instead. The bottom of her lip slightly twitched, until a high pitched sequel followed, “You look fucking amazing!”

“Thank you.” You blushed profusely. Alex smirked at the shade of pink growing on your cheeks. “You do too!”

“Gosh, it’s been so long. Almost eleven years, right?”

A loud scoff left your lips, “Yeah. Shit, that’s,” You exhaled, “long.”

“No kidding.” Her blond strands of hair fell in her face while she shook her head. You smiled back at her, happy to see her again.

You weren’t sure why Amanda was there. She’d left for grade twelve to go to another city. Her father had been up for a promotion-- he got it. She was ecstatic about it, but you knew you’d have no one for your last year of high school -- except Daryl. Last you’d heard of her, she’d been accepted into an ivy-league school.

“Well, I won’t keep you.” She laughed, handing you a name tag as well as Alex. “We’ll catch up later, right?”

“Right. Nice to see you again, Amanda.”

-

“Shit,” You heard a low grumble from behind you. Your eyebrows reached up, questioning your fiancé. “Those cookies. They’re addicting.” He complained. As if he was a drug addict, itching for a hit, he fiddled around with his body. His foot tapped uncontrollably, fingers fiddling with each other.

The whole situation made you chuckle, “Just go get some more already.” You shooed him away, turning the suddenly childish man and giving him a weak push forward. He sighed, but gave into his temptations.

“Get me some too!” You yelled after him. Your words hit his ears, which made him raise a thumbs up in response. A soft chuckle left your lips before you turned back around.

Before you could stop yourself, you’d smacked into a warm force and lost your balance. Your ankles shook, the high heels wobbling underneath your weight, but you never hit the ground.

The warmth you’d crashed into engulfed you. It felt so inviting, so much like home that you chuckled, “Oh, sorry--”, looking at your hand placed on their chest. It was mostly firm, but had a small amount of squish to it. You thought next to nothing of the encounter.

But when you looked up, peaking through your eyelashes all you saw was a pair of piercing blue eyes. They were older, more mature, but still held a certain sparkle that was undeniably familiar.

“Daryl?”

here we are

It’s been a really long time since I’ve posted anything. I just have wanted to keep my head up and not really think about how much I miss Nick, or how badly it sucks not having him home. For so many reasons. For one he makes me a hell of a lot better person, he calms me down makes my anger dissipate which is a lot because my temper lately has been so bad. I just want to love on him and kiss him, I want to snuggle in bed with my man, I want to be able to wake up to morning kisses and it be a real tangible kiss, not something we do over wowapp cause it’s the closest thing we have. I’ve been trying to think about it like my reward for him going to Korea is getting married 12/08/2017, that’s a fantastic reward. I love him so much, and miss him so much. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with him.    The other night I had a really bad dream, like it sounds great at first, but it’s really not.  It’s long.   I was at a mall talking to this blonde, blue eyes, lean, 34C breasts (looked that way anyway) she was funny. The mall was on lock down and we were sitting there talking about life. “So are you single?” I asked looking at her pink lips. Thinking god it’s been awhile since I’ve done anything..just to taste her.    “Sort of, it’s a little complicated” She looked down at her hand then back up at me. “What about you?”   “My heart is taken, but I am single.” I said leaning in a little bit closer to her.  She sighed then “Men make everything so complicated, they should be more like women just straight forward.” She said looking down at her hand again to what I could tell was nothing, then looked over at my hand which the only thing I had on was my wedding ring. Before she could say anything else I leaned in and kissed her. We sat there as the world around us went on, we sat there kissing each other, her hand resting on my thigh, my hand caressing her face as we kissed. Pulling away we just looked into each others eyes, as we sat there it had been announced the lock down was being lifted.  If only there had been more time, I might have convinced her to go home with me. Instead we got up from our little corner, and I walked to her to her car, it was raining outside.    “This is me.” She said as unlocked her car, pushing her up against the car I kissed her again, not caring who saw me. At first she tried to push me away, but as my tongue slid into her mouth she became more relaxed against me. When I was beginning to think I might have a chance, she pushed me away and said she had to go. I watched as she got into her car and left.  ———————————————————————————————————    I get a call from Eric telling him to meet me at some lake house dressed nice, when I get there I spot him and wave him over .   “Hey” He said hugging me.  “Hey” I said a little more than tired, it had been a long drive back to my place last night, my bed cold, the house empty.    “So I wondering if you wanted to go to a wedding with me today? It will be tons of fun! I promise.” He looked at me almost pleadingly.    “Today? Seriously, toooday?” I asked looking at him, as he tried to sucker me into this.   “I’m sure you need something fun, beside I’m here only good things can happen.” He smiled as I reluctantly agreed.  We walked right into the house, and saw a group of people. Immediately taking me over they began to introduce themselves.  “Im Karen.” A woman in red said.  “I’m Josh.” The older man next to her said “I’m Raven” a middle eastern woman said, her long dark hair flowing.     “Nice to meet you, I’m” was all I managed to say “This is Carolyn, my girlfriend.” Eric said looking at me.     I was so livid I wanted to punch him right then and there, for the sake of not murdering him “It’s nice to meet you…will you excuse us?” I said practically ripping his arm off.  When we were out of listening distance “WHAT IN THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!” I said beginning to punch him.     “It just..it just slipped out, oh come on just play along with it. “ He said.     “No, this is going to end badly” I said.      “You can’t just not now, I’m sure everyone knows by now. “ he said.   I just glared at him and walked away finding myself next to a group of guys drinking beers. Taking a drink off of the bar I just stood there chugging it, not even caring who’s or what the fuck it was.    “Woah there tiger. Look at her go!” A younger guy hooted out. Slamming the bottle back down, I looked at the group around me.    Smiling and wiping my face I say “I’m Carolyn, and I need another fucking drink.” One of the guys handed me a hard cider, and a screwdriver. I took both, downing the screwdriver.  “Jesus woman.” An older man said. “I like your style.” To which he downed his beer, and got another.    I stood around talking with them for about half an hour, before I started getting the dirty looks from the women. I mean I know I wasn’t acting classy, but the looks I were getting were down right hostile.  “Will you excuse me?” I said taking my drink with me. Only feeling a little buzzed at that point.  Then I saw her, the girl from yesterday. “Oh my god.” I said to myself. She’s the fucking bride! No wonder she kept looking at her finger, it was missing her engagement ring! Shit, shit shit. Nope, not a big deal. Don’t look at her, don’t do it. I told myself. Then she saw me, she visibly blushed, looking like she was about to walk over, and then some short girl wearing a silver dress got to me first.     “You  have got so much fucking nerve saying you’re dating my cousin when you’re fucking married. You’re such a whore.” She said shoving my facebook profile in my face. My profile picture was of Nick and I on our wedding day kissing, my cover photo was of him holding our beautiful newborn baby, me looking at him holding her.    “What?” is what I managed to say.     “Are you stupid too?” She asked. Instead of answering I set down my drink and walked up to the back porch where there was a mic.    “Well, I just would like to say a couple of things.” I saw Eric in the crowd coming up to the stage, and shook my head. “First off I want to say thank you for allowing me to be a part of this special moment, and for all the men who have been treating me nicely and talking to me. For the women in the family you’re a bunch of judgmental bitches. You don’t know me and instead of coming to talk to me like an adult to see what’s going on you fucking glared at me and accused me of things w/o really giving me time to explain myself. So here it is. Yes, that IS my husband in my picture, however that is MY DEAD husband, and that beautiful baby girl, that’s my dead child. Eric has known me for about three years, Nick and my child died about two years prior to that. I will always be married to my husband, I will never stop loving him, and I will never love another soul in my whole fucking life. I only said I’d come to this so Eric wouldn’t pester me about it, for fucks sake I didn’t know he’d call me his girlfriend..you can better fucking believe we aren’t friends anymore. You know what today is? Today is the anniversary of their deaths..so thank you for trying so hard to make it the most horrible day possible. Oh, and best fucking wishes to the newly weds. Enjoy the family Amanda.” With that I put the mic back in it’s place and pushed by the people who were trying to talk to me. Eric tried to stop me from walking out and for that he got slapped.  At this point I walked to the beach and sat down drink in my hand.  —————————————————————————————————     My phone started to ring, I look over and it’s about 3am.    “Erng..hello?” I answered bleary eyed.     “Hello this is Macy at Banner Del Webb is this Mrs. Aberts?” She asked.    “Yes, what’s going on, why are you calling me?” I asked instantly getting out of bed realizing Nick hasn’t come back to bed yet. The last thing he did was take little Adeline out for a drive to get her to quiet down.      “Your husband was involved in an accident and we need you to get to the hospital right away.” I didn’t even hear the rest as I dropped the phone and went into omg mode. I started crying, getting dressed, grabbed the phone which the line was now dead and drove to the hospital. I arrived at the desk. “I need to see my husband, and my daughter Adeline. I need to know what’s going on.” I almost screeched.     “Ma’am you need to calm down. Your husband was struck by a semi truck-the driver had fallen asleep. He’s in ICU, he’s conscious, but the doctors don’t think he will make it. “ She said looking at me as she walked me to his room. Seeing him there in his bed, I started to cry, reaching out to grab his hand. I looked at her then.    “What about Adeline..what about our baby?” I asked looking at Nick, who then began to cry. “No” I sobbed tears running down my cheeks.     “I’m so sorry baby. I’m so sorry.” He wiped away a tear that had rolled down my face.     “It’s not your fault, you’re going to be ok. I have you, it will be ok.” He smiled at me then, and then just like that he was gone.  I sat there crying into him, “I promise, I promise I’ll never love anyone else, and I swear that I will get justice for tearing my family apart.” I laid against him crying until they told me I had to leave. The next few weeks were a blur, as we had the funeral for them both. I cried and got angry often, my family not really knowing how to help, just letting it happen.  The man who fell asleep was charged with vehicular manslaughter, his boss, and two other people had charges against them and were found guilty. The man who had fallen asleep had taken on extra runs and it was ok’d by those other three people when it shouldn’t have. I filed a lawsuit against the company and won millions. However, for a long time my life was empty, I would go visit my family in Ohio (his parents), and see my step kids, go visit Nick at least once every other month.  ——————————————————————————————————– I woke up remembering something that never happened and yet it felt so real. Like that Nick and I had gotten married had this beautiful baby girl, light brown hair green big eyes. It feels like a real loss, it’s even been a couple of days and I just writing this out makes me sad and start to cry. Even though I know it wasn’t real. I told Nick this and he sent me kissy faces telling me he wishes he could be here to snuggle and hug me, to reassure me that he’s fine and that didn’t happen. Made me feel a lot better, he could cheer me up from 3000+ miles away. I love him so much. I really can’t wait to be Mrs.Nick Aberts.          Speaking of which wedding planning is difficult since we don’t really know for sure when he will be home.  He’s supposed to be back in November, since it’s a year long, however it’s the military so that doesn’t always mean it’s a year tour. I’ve been looking at venues by myself, getting his opinions here and there, photography, food, music all by myself. I am trying not to get stressed out. Every little girl has her dream wedding for me, I always wanted to get married in a forest, moss growing on trees, a little bit of fog going on, barefoot. I know, crazy. So I’ll settle for a outside wedding around trees and nature, I love trees. If I could have useless magical power it would be to get trees to grow from nothing. *sighs* that would be SO cool.  It’s funny cause Nick has always wanted an outside wedding as well, it’s like we really are the same person, just a male version and a female version. It feels like I’ve known him all of my life, and yet there is still so much more to learn and I yearn to learn everything about him. I can express how truly grateful and blessed that I am to have him in my life. I have no idea where I would be without him, probably miserable, lonely, and possibly a whore.  I wouldn’t have a matching cow tattoo (which makes me sad cause it cheers me up when I see it), I wouldn’t have plans to get a cherry blossom tree tattooed across my right side up my shoulder and act as he is a branch into his shoulder and arm. That’s how in love we are with each other. I can’t wait till we have our first child together, I’m hoping for a girl. Evelyn Grace Aberts…will be so beautiful, and I would be so thankful to have her. I want to have that special bond with Nick that parents get. I want to know the joys of motherhood, and see the man I love and my husband be a dad to our child. I want that. Sometime’s Nick makes me feel like a little high school girl, we are that obnoxiously sweet couple. We moo at each other, we tell each other we love you mega moo bunches, we make my parents want to vomit. It’s great. Especially that last part.    I  miss him, I try to think of it as a vacation I’m not allowed to go on, that it wasn’t a goodbye at the airport in Seattle that it was a see you later. However, that was so embarrassing. I sat there most of the night crying here and there even though he was there RIGHT there with me. I knew I wouldn’t see him and I’d try not cry as I held him close to me. I could feel people watching me as I sobbed in public as they called my boarding, I remember wanting to hug him so tightly that I couldn’t breathe, yet I still found enough air to cry uncontrollably as I walked alone to my plane. I don’t ever want to do that again. It was like waiting for duct tape to be torn off, but instead of pulling it off fast, they were tugging on it slowly. Ever so slowly. It was heart breaking. He will never leave me behind again after this tour. I don’t care if I have to pay out of pocket to fly wherever he does. It will not happen again.        I started a new job, I now work at Fry’s as a Starbucks barista, I have training this week after arrowhead, and then next week 8a-4p if Michael gives it to me off. We shall see cause I asked for it off kind of last minute, so I have no idea if I will actually be allowed to have the time off. I’m excited because hellooo I get to learn the menu and maybe the secret menu?! And it means more money for wedding/bills. So exciting, though I have to get used to working more than 24 hours a week again. Last week was brutal, Thursday and Friday I worked 11 hours and was totally wiped out. Done. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. So that will be kind of fun.   I’m all talked out for now. 01/02/2017