#He's in a very unfair situation no matter what! Either way he's being looked down on | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wosoamazing · 1 month

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Too Late To Be Fair

Warnings: death (caused by drunk driver), mentions of emotional abuse (R as a child), mentions of drinking and drunks, implications of self doubt and associated things, wishing someone would die. Please let me know if anything else.

Note: Grace is a fake player, due to previous ideas and maybe future ideas I had to make a player up... she does some things none of the girls would ever do....

A/N: Story inspired by Pray (Jessie Murph) & Mansion (NF) - and other things but I listened to these songs and I was like ooo good story idea. There probs will be a part 2. I hope you like it - also I know I said one of the McFoord fics would be out next but um yeah...

“Y/N We’re sorry to inform you but your Dad was in a car accident he was hit by a drunk driver” you couldn’t help but laugh at the irony, you dad the drunk being hit by a drunk driver. Everyone looked at you in disbelief.

“Y/N that’s not very appropriate,” Grace said, before others death stared her, clearly not knowing your situation, of course you were going to blow, especially at her, the thing you had wished for, for so long, finally happened, yet just after you cut him off, so it didn’t matter, it didn’t mean you could have an easier childhood, it was just another way of the universe punishing you. Waiting until you had moved out, cut your ties and in the spotlight, to finally kill him. Almost exactly a year since you cut him off, won the trial, got the restraining order, the one which he protested, causing the gruelling 3 day trial, to decide whether it was needed or not.

“Oh, sorry we don’t all have perfect little lives with perfect Mummies and Daddies, some of us actually had a shit childhood, faced real world problems, no rich bitch problems, oh Mummy and Daddy told me to pick up some rubbish, oh my life is shit they abuse me” you were dragged out of the locker room and into an empty physio room by Leah, Beth, Katie, Caitlin, and Steph who all sent you a glare when the door had shut, “Oh like she didn’t deserve it,” they all couldn’t but help let out a smile. There was an awkwardness in the room, as the girls all looked between each other not knowing how to approach this.

“You guys can all go, I’ve got this, thank you though,” Leah spoke, breaking the silence, everyone left except Beth, but Leah didn’t mind. You and Beth had a very close relationship, you had been close friends since your grassroots team, Beth helped you through the year of your life you realised you were gay, and then when you crushed on your now girlfriend, your then national Captain. Beth felt bad the year you told her about your Dad, she knew something was off but you never told anyone, barely anyone stills knows the full story, but that day Beth and you promised that you would be there for each other forever, and that was true, she had been there during your trial and so much more, and you were there for her when Dan broke up with her, Beth was really your rock and you were hers. Beth moved to sit in the chair on the opposite side of the room, giving you both space, whilst also being there in case you needed it.

“Are you okay?” Leah couldn't find the right words, but she knew deep down the wrong words were what you needed her to say, you weren’t going to break, and release it all otherwise.

“Of course I’m not fucking okay Leah,” you looked up at her, she hadn’t even flinch at your words, instead she pulled you in for a hug. Which caused hot angry tears to fall from your eyes “Why now, why couldn’t it have been a year ago, 3 years, hell any time after I was 12. It’s unfair, its fucking unfair,” you paused, and Leah slowly slid her back down against the wall, bringing you down with her, your legs either side of hers as you sat in her lap. Your eyes connected with her soft kind caring blue eyes, and you could see how her lips formed a soft kind reassuring smile. You broke, big fat tears streamed down your face, as you sobbed, Leah gently pulled your body forward, so you were no longer sitting up, but leaning on her, she placed your head into the crock of her neck, before moving her arm to wrap around you lower body, her other hand was placed on your back, her thumb moving up and down, as she whispered reassuring words in your ear.

“W-why now, when I’ve already lived the hard life, when I’ve been through all that shit. When I’m already screwed up, when I already have trust issues, when I already doubt myself everyday, so much so that I do it unconsciously” you sobbed into her neck.

“I know baby, it's not fair, and it's not right. But I’m here now, and I’ve got you.”

“I-I I used to wish he would die, I used to imagine cops showing up at the door when it was later than he used to come home, them telling me and me not being upset. I used to hope he just wouldn't come back from work trips. I used to imagine people asking me why I wasn’t upset when he died. I used to think of the fact that he was an alcoholic so he wouldn't get a kidney or liver transplant, unless it was a directed donation. I had to say yes, how could I say no if I was a match, but how could I say yes. You know how fucked up you feel when you think that stuff, you know how messed up I thought I was, but that was all his doing. It's just unfair.”

___

You had calmed back down and decided to go see all the girls again, the only problem was that no one had realised what song was playing in the locker room, too deep in conversation to be aware of it.

Waking up but wishing that you don’t. It’s something that I pray you’ll never know.

A song that connected with you so deeply sent you back over the edge, and you quickly spun on your feet and speed walked away, Beth followed behind you.

“What the actual fuck were you thinking McCabe” you girlfriend yelled.

“Wha?” the room had gone quiet and attention was drawn to the music, “Oh fuck, shit, sorry, we werent listening to it, its just automatically come on. I promise, I wasn't trying to be funny, I wouldn't do anything like that to Y/N”

Leah just turned around packing your bag and hers, “Tell Jonas we’re going home.”

“Sorry” Katie yelled as Leah went down the hall.

Leah found you sitting in the middle of one of the side hallways. Beth’s arms were wrapped around you and your body was shaking.

“Come on baby, let's go home.” She said as she placed a hand on your back, Beth slowly released her arms around you, which Leah quickly replaced with hers.

_____

“What’s on your mind? I know it's something more than your Dad” your girlfriend said as she sat down on the bed next to you, legs crossed and leaning back against the headboard. You had just arrived home.

“It's stupid.” you sighed, looking away from her eyes.

“I promise you, it's not stupid, it's your feelings, and your feelings are valid” she said, voice unwavering before pulling you into her lap.

“I don't know, I just feel like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.” “What do you mean baby?” “I don't know, I just feel like something is going to happen, like something is going to happen and you’re going to realise that this was all a mistake and leave. You’re going to get sick of constantly being second guessed for no reason just because I’m messed up, because I don’t believe someone could actually love me this much. You’re going to get sick of me, and all my insecurities, ” she pulled your body into hers, your head finding a place in the crock of her neck, tears started to fall from your eyes, causing her neck to become wet.

“Y/N, baby, I love you so much, and I promise, there is not another shoe that will drop, we have been through so much together, we got through those 9 months together, we got through the trial together, and I promise we will get through whatever life throws at us together, forever, we will go through the highs and lows together. I love you so much, and I wouldn't want to spend my life with anyone else. I will never hurt you, I promise.”

#woso #woso community #woso fanfics #woso x reader #woso imagine #arsenal wfc #awfc x reader #awfc #leah williamson x reader

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bird-inacage · 8 months

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Only Friends: What Led to Ray's Explosive Tirade (Playing 'The Bad Guy')

I have to admit that this was not how I expected this scene to play out. I was just as flabbergasted as everyone else at first. However I think there's one clear thing that Ray's outburst reminded me off: no matter whether you reveal the truth or keep it to yourself - either way, you are the bad guy.

I'm NOT the Villain

As Boston very derisively claims, if Ray reveals the truth of the affair, he'll be the one unleashing the damage. A similar parallel to what Boston did last episode (with very different intentions may I add, but damage is damage nonetheless).

Mew is incredibly important to Ray. If we talk simply outside of Ray's love for him, Ray wants to treat him well, repay him for his kindness and support over the years. Therefore, once Ray was in possession of this information, he felt very strongly that Mew needed to know. He knew telling Mew was the right thing to do. He does genuinely care about Mew as a person.

Does he warn Mew and ruin his present happiness (which is based on a lie)? Or does he hold his tongue and potentially watch his friend get hurt from other mistreatments by Top further down the line?

Ray doesn't want to hurt Mew in any way. He doesn't want to be the bringer of bad news. Why should it have to fall to him to reveal this awful act of betrayal to someone he cares for so much? And when Mew supposedly doesn't react in the way he expects to this information, Ray goes ballistic with frustration, concern and anger. Why is he the bad guy for trying to help his friend, when Top can seemingly get away with it, and be in everyone's good graces even when he's completely undeserving? Why can no one else see Top's true colours?

I'm NOT the Worst

Something else that occurred to me throughout this episode, is how often Ray's friends belittle and overlook him. And it's so routine they hardly even notice.

Boston has never tried to hide his snide little back-handed comments at Ray. Since their fight at Sand's, he's become even more callous when throwing quips in plain sight. Namcheum makes an observation about all of them being partnered up, and it's only after a few beats that April points out Ray is still single. It's as if they forgot he was even there. Namcheum doesn't tend to pick up on any of the animosity or tension within this group. She's generally not the most tactful or best at reading people.

Then when Ray speaks to Mew in the bathroom, Mew immediately assumes Ray's been taking drugs. Ray looks clearly stunned by this. Yes, he's always coined as the 'drunk' but that's not his one and only personality trait. That's not all he does and is as a person.

It dawns on Ray that even his closest friends seem to always assume the very worst of him. He had a bad feeling about Top from the offset but no one cared or listened. Rather, Ray never gets given the benefit of the doubt, when he's not committed anything as problematic as the heinous crimes amongst their group. Particularly when compared to Top, someone who gets all the praise and adoration when Ray knows he's a certified piece of shit, is desperately unfair. And most of all Top gets the respect of the best friend he loves.

I think what really sent the situation hurtling south was Ray watching everyone play happy families, when he knows there is a web of dishonesty and resentment lurking beneath. It's all a farce. And Ray couldn't stomach it for another moment longer. He had enough.

Become the Very Thing You Loathe

In Episode 4, Ray displays a classic example of self-loathing and self punishment when he goads Sand to scold him. In doing so, it's as if he's deriving some warped form of satisfaction in owning these criticisms. Because he's told these things so often, he starts to believe it, so why not own it too? I actually mentioned this in my Episode 1 meta (regarding Ray's self-actualisation of becoming a burden). Sometimes embracing the very thing you hate being know for, at least validates the presence of that criticism. 'If people keep calling me an asshole, then fine, I'll become an asshole. At least then being called an asshole makes sense.'

So Ray brought it on himself to air out everyone's dirty laundry. 'Fuck it, if you really all think I'm the worst, then fine, I'll do what needs to be done, I'll be the worst. You all happy now?'

Even though Ray adopts the persona forced onto him, he's not happy about it at all. He wants to be identified with more substance, with more credit, as more than just what everyone claims him to be.

#only friends #only friends the series #ofts #only friends meta #ray x sand #sand x ray #ray pakorn #firstkhao #khaofirst #khaotung thanawat #first kanaphan #poor ray breaking my heart #this boy's characterisation has so many layers im quaking #me during episode: (shrieking) NOOO RAY DON'T PLEASE #can sand please whisk ray away so they can be happy away from this toxic wasteland of drama and clownery?

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girlboypersonthingy · 1 year

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paladins (ESP PIDGE AND KEITH) x chubby read plz🛐

HELL YESSSS as a chubby reader myself, I LOVE THIS!!! So this is going to get a bit body specific just fyi. Also this gets a little suggestive, mostly just getting handsy and making out. I’ve included my fav 3 paladins ❤️💙💚 Thank you again for requesting, anon ILY 🖤 ENJOY~

UPDATE: I posted a part 2 with Shiro, Hunk and Matt. Go check it out HERE 🖤💛🧡

Keith, Lance and Pidge x chubby reader~

KEITH ��️

Dude…your hips drive him CRAZY. He loves to hold onto them as he leans in for a kiss. He just thinks all of you feels good to grab onto. When y’all are in private, he’s just letting his hands wander your whole body…with your consent of course.

He’s like “Hey…uh (Y/N)? C-can I uh…touch y-your. Sorry. Can I grab your- well not grab. Th-that’s NOT what I meant. Ugh, Shit…” and you eventually decide to end his suffering by grabbing his hands and leading the way, showing him exactly where you want them.

He LOVES training and sparring with you.

Bc he gets to be as handsy as he wants with you without it being weird

Bc you can totally hold your own against him. Sure, you’re chubby but you’re strong and you stand your ground so well. You’re a good challenge for him.

Bc he wants to show off and impress you. You know this boy would try SO HARD to flex on you during training. Plz admire and compliment him.

If he ever hears even a slightly rude comment from anyone about your weight or the way you look (it definitely wouldn’t be from the other paladins tho) he’s gonna immediately go sicko mode on them. Boy would kill someone for you for real.

If you’re ever sad about it, he’s not exactly the best at comforting you but he really tries. He’ll hold you close and either rub his hands over your skin softly or he’ll gently pet your hair.

He’s honestly just confused like ??? But you’re so hot…who cares if you’re a little chubby? He’s just so chill about it. It’s obviously never bothered him. He thinks you’re gorgeous regardless.

Every time you two are having a steamy make out session, he can’t help but squeeze different parts of you. He pulls you to lay on top of him and kisses you softly as his hands feel their way around. You’re so soft, physically and emotionally. You make him feel so comfy and content.

Keith doesn’t seem like the type to really even care about body types tho. If he vibes with you, then that’s all that matters. 🤷🏻

BUT he does like that you have a little something extra to offer him~

LANCE 💙

HE THINKS YOU ARE SO FUCKIN GOOD LOOKING ASHDJJDJJJK 😍

He’s a tall lanky boy and he likes that you’re thicker than him. He thinks your physical differences make you guys a really cute couple.

He wants to make you feel good about yourself ALWAYS so he flirts very strategically with you. He uses specific pick up lines that make you feel good about being chubby.

“(Y/N), as long as I have a face, you’ll always have a place to sit.” Omfg what a perv.

“If I told you that you have a bangin body, would you hold it against me?” Boy bye.

“Yeah, anybody can fly in a straight line. It takes a REAL pilot to handle the curves~” GOODBYE HE’S SO CHEESY

If he ever even suspected that anyone was talking shit about your weight or how you look, he’d try to distract you and calmly lead you away from the situation. Then he’d try to get all kissy and grabby and show you how much he adores you and your body.

If you’re ever sad about your weight or appearance, he’s shutting that thought down immediately. He’s totally felt insecure about his own physique before so he kinda gets it. He always reassures you that you are so freaking cute and that he loves every single inch of you.

You often catch him staring at you with wide eyes and an open, drooly mouth. “Uhm can I help you?” “Huh? Oh, no…sorry. Heh.” And he’s turning bright red as he continues to try and sneak glances at you. The way your clothes fit to you is just unfair. He can’t focus when you’re in the room, bending down, leaning over, teasing him.

When you two are getting kissy and handsy, he always pulls you into his lap and grips your thick thighs. Boy has a thing for your thighs. He wants those things wrapped around his head right now.

With Lance, it’s not just that your body doesn’t bother him, it’s that he actually REALLY likes your body. He loves the way you look, he thinks you are perfect and wouldn’t change a single thing.

PIDGE 💚

Oh my god, they are so into you. They’re so tiny and they just want you to hold them in your big warm arms.

When y’all first met, they were just thinking ‘oh my god, you’re so cute. I’d literally let you step on me.’

You wouldn’t think Pidge is super touchy but with you, they are always trying to initiate physical touch.

They like to lay their head on your thigh as they code on their computer. They like to lay on top of you in bed, their head on your chest as it rises and falls with each breath. Most of all, they LOVE being your little spoon when they are upset and in need of comfort. Their head is cushioned by your arm, your other arm is wrapped around their torso and they’re just so comfy. They are sad for like 5 seconds and then they are SNORING. You calm them down like no one else.

Pidge definitely isn’t as kissy and handsy as the boys are, but they CRAVE your touch. They just want you to hold them so tightly that they can’t inhale another breath. They want you to smother them with your love.

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GIVE THEM PIGGY BACK RIDES THEY LOVE IT. Just carry them around in any position and their little heart is melting. The best is when they fall asleep on the floor or at a desk while doing their work and you pick them up and carry them to bed. They wake up like “huh?” And then they see you in their bed, cuddling up to them and they have so many feelings for you rn wow.

They are always cold so when you come in the room, they’re like “forget a sweater. Get over here.” And you proceed to hold them close, keeping them warm as they tap away on their laptop.

Pidge is a loud mouth, not afraid of anything or anyone so if they overhear some negative things being said about your body or weight, they immediately start talking shit right back. “WHAT WAS THAT?! OH REALLY??? GET OVER HERE AND SAY IT AGAIN, I DARE YOU.” They will not hesitate to verbally AND physically tear someone apart in your honor.

If you are feeling sad and insecure, Pidge will stop everything they are doing, which always surprises you, and take you back to their room for cuddles. They like to switch roles sometimes and pull you to lay on top of them. You worry that you’ll hurt them or make them uncomfortable but they refuse to let you move off of them. “No, please. You’re like a weighted blanket, I love this.” And they do. They love this more than anything.

One of the best parts about being plus size and dating Pidge is that they have no shame, about the way they look, the way they eat, the way they dress, the way they sit. So you feel so secure when you eat in front of them or when you wear something that maybe isn’t the most flattering on your body. They don’t give a single fuck, you’re cute 24/7, 365, no matter what in their opinion.

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svnnysidez · 5 months

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eunseok nsfw alphabet

minors dni!

a=aftercare: he runs a bath for you, he knows he takes a lot out of you when you have sex so he makes sure to pamper you afterwards

b=body part: his favorite body part on himself are his hands. he loves his hands, more the hand prints that he leaves on your ass from how hard he slaps it. his favorite body part on you is your ass, he looovveess doggy so much because he can see the way your butt jiggles when his hips slap against it. loves leaving hand prints on your butt esp when he knows you'll be in a bikini the next day so the prints will be on display

c=cum: cums on ur ass and back and thighs, he isnt really a big fan of cumming inside of you honestly but he loves painting your skin with his cum

d=dirty secret: he LOVES when you pull his hair when hes eating you out, and just in general, he would never admit it bcs he knows you would make fun of him for sounding like a bottom

e=experience: hes pretty experienced, i wouldnt say his body count is through the roof but its not zero, he knows what he likes, and he also knows what you like and thats all the matters to him

f=favorite position: like i said before he loves doggy, or anything to do with ur ass being in the air, loves the way your ass jiggles

g=goofy: i wouldnt say hes "goofy" but i wouldnt say hes like serious either. but ig hes "serious" in this situation, hes not like cracking jokes or anything, ig you're the funny one bcs hes fucking you silly

h=hair: hes not like completely shaved down, but hes def trimmed, keeps the hair short bcs if ur sucking his dick he doesnt want his bush to get in your mouth he thinks its gross

i=intimacy: he is not super intimate, he will have intimate sex with you if its like your anniversary or something but its mostly rough

j=jack off: he doesnt masterbate like, ever, why should he if he has someone whos willing to do it for him whenever 😁

k=kink: impact play, loves slapping you around, slapping your ass, your face, your tits, and you love it as much as he does

l=location: hes not really a big fan of doing it anywhere besides the bedroom, but like if yall are watching a movie on the couch yall will do it there

m=motivation: he loves when you wear short skirts, or shorts, or anything that shows off your ass. he always tells you its only for him though, if you wear stuff like that around the guys he'll kill the guys for looking at you and then you for wearing it around them

n=no: doing anything with the other members, hes made it very clear that he would never include them in yalls sex life (not that you need it) he just thinks it should be between the two of you and no one else has to be involved

o=oral: goes both ways, he loves when you suck him off but he also loves eating you out, like he cannot choose which one he likes more

p=pace: fast and rough‼️ you can probably only count on one hand how many times you've had slow sex with eunseok

q=quickie: LOVEESSS quickies, since his schedule is so packed he can barely fit you in so when he can he makes the very most of it

r=risks: takes risks sometimes, not without asking you first ofc, he always says hes down to try anything once

s=stamina: he has so much stamina lord its crazy, he gets so hard so fast after cumming its crazy. he can probably go for 7 rounds without stopping 😭

t=toys: he doesnt really use toys, he doesnt think him or you will benefit from it

u=unfair: oh hes such a tease, he can do it forever without getting tired of it

v=volume: he doesnt really make sounds, he does talk dirty tho, calls you names like slut, whore etc,

w=wild card: when he first met you he thought you were the prettiest person ever, like genuinely he had never seen anyone like you before. he saw your pretty makeup, your eyelashes batting, and he knew he just wanted to ruin you, wanted to make your pretty makeup smear, have your long eyelashes wet with tears. and thats what he did, he had you screaming his name under him and that was just the first round.

x=xray: hes about 8" and hes pretty girthy, bro is not messing around with his cock 🥲

y=yearning: he doesnt think abt the act of having sex, he thinks about you in general more, just about how pretty you are, and then that gets him going

z=zzz: he doesnt fall asleep that quickly, he usually lets you fall asleep before him

-------------

please do not translate or steal my works! reblogs and likes always help!!

#riize #riize x reader smut #eunseok #eunseok smut #eunseok x reader #kpop x reader smut #kpop x reader #kpop smut #kpop #svnnysidez createsఌ

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undiscovered-horizon · 1 year

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Bestieee it’s me again i hope ur doing well, I loved the headcanons u wrote for Eddie 😩 I also couldn’t resist I had to make this request ( I have so many ideas luv so buckle up) I’m a sucker for some angst to fluff so what if the reader ends up having a huge argument with Eddie over him getting locked up maybe even reader walks out ( to get some fresh or something but Eddie thinks the reader wants to end it )

Honestly do whatever u want bestie I’m sure it’s gonna be great either ways

Wassup we love a returning friend!🌺 Came out quite short

🫀REQUESTS ARE OPEN🫀 || Batman-inspired playlist

"Hopeless opus" - Riddler x Reader

WORDCOUNT: ~ 1k

[TW: self-hate, intrusive thoughts, couple fighting, misunderstanding, unconstructive coping mechanisms, referenced panic attack]

A couple, however one would define the term, stands for a few. A handful. Maybe two or three. In any case, it's always more than one. Despite that, Eddie seemed unable or unwilling to exit the loner mindset. He wasn't alone, in any sense of the word but still acted that way.

Anytime he was going through something difficult or at least somewhat troubling, he'd become even more closed off than he usually was - a house haunted from within. His eyes would become weirdly vacant as if his ghost had truly left his body to finish some business elsewhere. It worried you to no end, there was only so much a man could take. Despite always being there to listen to whatever was going through your head, Eddie never let you return that intimate favour.

"What's on your mind?" you asked although you knew very well he wasn't going to suddenly let his emotions pour out. Hopefully, you could at least plant an idea in his head; an idea that there was someone who cared, who was willing to listen despite it all.

"Nothing," he answered without even looking at you.

"You've been a little... off lately, Eddie," you continued hesitantly. He was a man of impressive emotional lability and it often takes very little for his mood to be changed. "I'm worried about you."

"I'm fine."

"You can talk to me about anything, anytime. You know that, right?"

Eddie sat right up, suddenly distracted from his work. He let out a heavy sigh and rubbed his eyes. How long has he gone without sleep?

"You wouldn't understand, anyway," he said quietly. "No one can."

"Talking about it might help you," you suggested as you gently placed a hand on his shoulder. To your surprise, Eddie frantically moved away from you.

"No one understands! No one knows what I've been through!"

"I want to but you have to talk to me first."

"How could you possibly understand?" Eddie raised his voice. Despite it not being out of the ordinary, you could never quite fight the hurt in your chest - you're not supposed to be yelling at those you love. "You've always had everything you could want or need, never had to beg or go hungry so others could eat. You don't know what it's like to lose everything you had. To always be a failure. You're just like the rest of them, born with a silver spoon in your mouth. You can't possibly understand."

For a moment you remained quiet, unsure how to respond to his raging accusations. Although you were together, there seemed to be an unbreakable wall still separating your worlds. No matter how hard to tried to tear it down, something inside Edward was reluctant to do so.

"That's unfair, Eddie," you broke the tense silence.

"Unfair? Do yo-"

"Just..." You raised your hand to stop him. "Just stop, save your breath."

You didn't wait for his answer, at the time you didn't even want to hear it. The whole situation was becoming too much and you could feel your grasp on your own emotions slowly slipping away - if that ordeal went on for a moment longer, it was going to escalate. How could he just dismiss all of your effort at getting to understand him? Did he not see it? Did he not care?

Eddie simply stared as you took your jacket and left the apartment, the front door shutting loudly behind you. Your muffled steps in the corridor quickly disappeared as you headed for the exit.

You were... gone.

His legs suddenly gave out and Eddie fell to the floor. It seemed as if gravity had lost its grip on the entire world, making it sway before his eyes. There was a stinging pain in his chest that made it difficult, if not impossible, to breathe. Eddie could hear his own frenzied heartbeat in his ears - a deafening hum along with rushing blood. It was hard to say whether he was aware that his body began gently rocking back and forth.

"Of course she left you, you idiot," he hissed at himself. "Moron. Loser. You don't deserve her. What did you expect, you're unlovable and disgusting, she's better off without you."

Shame was washing over you. It didn't feel right to suddenly leave, especially when you knew just how much Eddie can get into his own head. But the alternative was escalating the situation and that wasn't any better.

Anger had long gone left you. As you were quietly opening the front door to your shared apartment, you only felt sad, wanting to make up as soon as you could. You knew Eddie has been through things you couldn't relate to and perhaps that meant that he needed a little more mercy and patience than you had previously thought.

"Eddie?" He couldn't be sure whether your voice wasn't a figment of his lovesick imagination. You saw him curled in the corner of the room, panting irregularly. Suddenly feeling a wave of fear wash over you, you dropped your jacket and quickly walked towards him. "Dear God, are you alright?"

Frantically, he lifted his head. His gaze was unfocused as if he couldn't quite see you. Through his blurry, teary vision, he could just make out the outline of your silhouette.

"You're... back?" he asked. His voice cracked. Normally he'd beat himself up about that, 'cool guys don't get voice cracks' but at the time there were more important things at hand.

"Sure I am," you answered as you sat next to him on the floor. His trembling hands felt hot against your cold skin. "I live here, don't I?" you asked with a nervous chuckle. Eddie never got like that before and so you weren't sure what to think or do.

"I... I thought you left me."

"Leave you?" You were surprised by his far-fetched conclusion. What on Earth gave him that idea? "No, I just needed to catch my breath and calm down."

Your heart broke seeing him so desperate and completely hopeless. It was as if misery had his face. Feeling tears pool in your own eyes, seeing a man broken beyond what was considered humane, you reached to embrace him and place your head in the crook of his neck.

"I'm not leaving you, Eddie," you whispered in a trembling voice before softly kissing his cheek. "I love you too much."

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charliedawn · 2 years

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Could you do one where the reader is Rhaenyra 2nd oldest( daughter) and is in a relationship with ameond

If you cant could you do where the reader is the daughter of cersei and Robert barrahton and is in a relationship with either oberon /podrick or bronn

Being the queen's daughter held certain advantages, as being able to meet many different people coming from places close and far away...Too bad your heart decided to choose its champion so close to home.

You were Rhaenyra's second daughter, the most eligible bachelor in the whole kingdom. And yet, there was only one man who had succeeded in piercing his way into your heart...Aemond.

Aemond Targaryen. The fierce warrior. The proud Targaryen prince. The skillful dragon rider.

Your beloved cousin.

That fact was the curse cast upon you.

For even though you could have fallen in love with any man in the kingdom—married a rich lord to bring honor to the family...Your heart had decided otherwise.

At every family reunion, you had always taken his side, arguing alongside him, even though you knew the argument to be a fool's errand—that it was doomed for failure from the start.

He had once asked you why, and you had only sweetly smiled up at him, as if he was the man who would make the stars rain and the sea boil..You looked at him with such adoration—he was found speechless.

"I shall always stand by your side. In happiness and come what may..", was your genuine answer and Aemond felt his heart stir within his chest.

He had never wanted someone more in his life, and no words of love had even been exchanged yet. You didn't need them.

Aemond's valid eye lit up as he raised his cup.

"To Y/N. My favorite little Targaryen. May you always remain by my side."

The room remained quiet—no one had expected Aemond to make such a statement. Everyone cheered and clapped—all but the people who knew you both the best.

Your parents glared daggers at Aemond and his mother's jaw twitched at the obvious way her son was looking at you.

However, you only saw Aemond at that moment—the ghosts of the past be damned. You raised your cup in return and when your knuckles brushed against each other, you could have sworn to see the glimpse of a smile on Aemond's face.

It was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen.

But, it quickly disappeared when your father decided to step in and lead you away—unaware that Aemond was going to follow the both of you.

Once outside of the room :

Your mother was already waiting for you and once your father had made sure no soul was nearby—he started talking.

"You think we are not aware of that little affair with Aemond ? You are playing a dangerous game, Y/N. One you won't win."

Your father knew better than most how the matters of the heart could consume one's being. He had seen it many times before, he just didn't think the fire would ignite at such a young age within his favorite daughter..

"I love him."

There had been no hesitation whatsoever from you and Rhaenyra decided to second her husband's cautious warning.

"I fear Aemond might be unsuitable for you—darling daughter of mine."

You frowned and shook your head—confused as to the reason they would oppose your union.

"Why ? He is ambitious. He is loyal to his family. If anything, he sounds like father."

"It is the very thing I fear.", Daemon replied and you could see the clear worry in his eyes—demons of his past haunting him to this day. "I married your mother for love, but the people's voice matters, Y/N. We already had one Targaryen marriage, another one would weaken our image in the eyes of those we must protect.."

You knew he was right—but it didn't make it any less unfair as you felt tears run down your cheeks.

Your mother—who hadn't been insensible to your situation—tried to soothe you by running a hand up and down your back as you hid your tearful face against her shoulder.

"Be careful about who you open your heart to, daughter. Aemond is my father's son. He shall ascend the throne one day. He will become a man with power—they are the most dangerous for people like us. Don't forget that you are a woman, Y/N. Men like him are bound to become treacherous, and it wouldn't take you long to betray him in return."

You gasped—outraged at the accusation as you shook your head vividly.

"You do not understand, mother. I would never betray Aemond—even if I knew the whole world was against him—I could never ignore my love for him—even if the Ancestors shall strike me down this instant."

Aemond—who had heard enough—stepped forward and declared.

"And I shall neither. Not in this life—nor in any other."

"I..I mean..I would never do anything to hurt her."

Both of your parents and yourself—who hadn't expected the intrusion—snapped your heads at him.

Aemond suddenly felt a lot less confident with all those pairs of eyes on him and took a step back.

Daemon could feel the young man's sincerity in his voice, but shook his head.

"You are both too young. You don't know what love is."

You opened your mouth to deny, but you father didn't leave you the time.

You tried to struggle against his grip as he dragged you out of the castle and Aemond tried to run after you—but was stopped by your mother.

"Don't. Y/N is still a child. She doesn't understand the duties that you shall both soon have to bear..Leave us a few years, and if you both still feel the same when we return ? We won't stop you."

"Don't forget about me, Y/N.."

Aemond wanted to protest—but then thought about it and reluctantly agreed. He trusted you. He could wait.

He looked at your mother walking away and his face let the smallest hint of worry as you were now completely out of sight.

A few years later :

It had been a long time since your last visit to King's Landing. Father had tried to marry you off many times already, but all the lords who had dared ask for your hand had been highly disappointed by your lack of conversation and courtesy—even though everyone close to you knew it was only a pretense.

You were everything a lady was to strive for—but you had no intention of marrying anyone but the man of your choosing.

You had chanted his name in your sleep and spent every waking hour of the past few years thinking of a way to get the very man you knew you could never have..until your mother had decided to go visit King's Landing, where—she convinced your father—you would find more eligible bachelors to be sold off to.

When the ship finally settled ashore, you were the first one out and didn't wait for your father or mother to run in the streets of the great city.

However, you didn't expect to be running straight into trouble—as you bumped against a drunken man who grabbed your arm.

"Where are you running off to, girl ? Don't you know the streets of King's Landing are no place for a lovely woman like yourself to wander on her own ?"

You gulped and took a couple of steps back, realizing only now that you were far from the port and the safety of your father's sword..He cackled and cornered you in a dark alley.

You had nowhere to run.

You then saw a man on a horse ride past the both of you and you screamed for help, but he ignored your pleas and only galloped away.

The other man laughed and was about to grab you with his big and filthy hands when a sword pierced through his neck, rendering the both of you speechless as he tumbled to the side and blood started pouring through his mouth and wound in great abundance.

You only looked up at your savior once you knew the man to be unmistakably dead and your eyes widened as you recognized Aemond.

He seemed to do too.

"Y/N. I was not made aware of your arrival.", he said before wiping his sword on the man's coat—unbothered by the whole ordeal.

You had imagined your reunion for years.

And yet—as he was standing there with his head tilted quizzically, waiting for an answer—you could not find the will to speak up.

You stood up slowly and Aemond promptly aimed to help you—only to be stopped by Daemon who had succeeded in finding you. Your father's sword was now under Aemond's chin and he quickly held his hands up in surrender.

Daemon assessed the situation by seeing the corpse of the man at your feet and his eyes softened as he looked you up and down for any sign of injury.

"I am fine. Aemond saved me.", you reassured him and Daemon finally turned back towards Aemond who still had his hands raised.

Finally, your father lowered his sword and Aemond smiled at you. It didn't go unnoticed by your father.

"Come back to the castle, Aemond. We will see each other there."

It was a warning—one Aemond understood quite clearly. And yet—his eye fell on you one more time and all the emotions you had tried to repress came back—rushing to you like a violent torrent.

"I shall see you soon then, my princess."

He kissed the back of your hand and addressed you a charming smile before disappearing among the crowd.

Was it too soon to swoon ? Probably.

You held back your excitement in front of your father, but your excitement was quickly tamed down completely by his next words—leaving you cold inside.

"Do not forget what we are here for, daughter. Aemond is not in the list of suitors. He refused to be."

He refused to be.

Indeed, you had run your eyes through the long list of names your mother had given you of the many men who had asked for your hand—only to not find the one you wished for the most.

The words hurt you more than you cared to admit—but you nodded.

"I know of my duty, father. I shall make you proud."

Your father smiled and stroked your hair affectionately.

"I know you will, daughter. Now, let us get back to the boat. Your mother must be worried sick."

In the castle :

The moment you had entered the castle, you were overwhelmed by suitors—presenting themselves with flowers and many other gifts to heighten their chance to be part of the Targaryen family.

Your cousin was there, but he stood silently to the side—watching as the suitors kept following each other endlessly.

Finally, one of the suitors seemed to gain your attention—as his gift was unlike anything you had ever seen.

"A sword made of valyrian steel and forged with dragon fire. For you, princess."

Your eyes slightly widened at the beautiful sword and you smiled. You had not smiled at any of the suitors who had been in your presence and you could see the man's face lit up—while Aemond's expression darkened.

The suitor—who had introduced himself while you hadn't been listening—stepped up towards you to show you the sword.

It was beautiful. You ran your fingers on the smooth blade and in a matter of seconds—you plunged the sword in the suitor's stomach to its hilt.

You knew who he was. You had recognized him—even though he had only rode past you during the act. He was the man who had ignored your desperate calls for help when you had been cornered by that terrible man in that dark and putrid alley..

You then let his body fall down the stairs and leave a trail of blood in his wake.

"It seems scum has succeeded in making its way into your list, father. A shame. None of them shall have my hand today.", you declared while a pool of blood was forming at your feet and your father frowned in incomprehension.

Aemond—on the other hand—seemed to admire you and his affection for you showed in the way he was the only one who remained calm in front of the slaughter.

Only Aemond knew of the reason for your action and didn't hesitate before trempling the corpse, walking in his blood to get to you and take the sword from your hand.

It fell to the floor and you felt tears prickle your eyes. But, Aemond held you.

"Ssh..Do not cry, my love. He deserved it."

Your heart was racing, but Aemond's words soothed you and you took a big breath—his light fragrance of leather and pine cones filling your senses.

You held him closer.

"Out ! All of you !", Alicent shouted and the suitors all obeyed—all eager to get out before they could end up with the same fate as the man now dead at the bottom of the stairs.

"What have you done ?!", Alicent demanded as soon as they were all out, but you refused to give her an answer. However, your father then asked and you had to begrudgingly leave the comfort of Aemond's arms to finally answer.

"He was a bad man. No one will miss him. I assure you."

Your father seemed to suddenly understand and was a little less upset as to the death of the man—but all the same upset at your action.

"You should have let me handle it. You just frightened all your suitors away !", your father accused you—but you stubbornly replied.

"My choice has already been made."

Everyone in the room stopped talking at your claim and held their breath as you didn't hesitate before confirming out loud.

"I shall marry Aemond of House Targaryen !"

The news had the effect of turning every single person in the throne room against each other.

"And I shall take you as my wife ! May the gods be my witnesses ! I have waited long enough."

Aemond's mother sneered—not expecting her son to respond in kind.

But, Aemond didn't even hesitate before replying in agreement.

He took a step towards you, but was stopped by his mother who pleaded with him.

"Aemond. Please."

But, he pulled away from her grip to take your hand.

"No. No more waiting. You erased my name from the list of suitors, but I am now old enough to present myself before the woman I intend to conquer."

He turned towards you and knelt before you, holding both of your hands in his and the fire of the candles made his valid eye brighten as he pronounced his next words softly.

"Lady Y/N of House Targaryen. I present myself humbly before you to ask for your hand. The House of the Dragon shall be brought back to its ancient glory with you by my side. I am sure of it."

You couldn't bite back your smile of utter joy and replied enthusiastically.

"Yes. It was yes all those years ago. And, it is yes today. It will always be yes."

You smiled lovingly at each other and you leant forward to kiss him passionately—with the same burning passion you had been forced to withhold for years..Aemond answering with the same vigorous eagerness.

You ignored the many shocked gasps and the fury in the eyes of both of your parents.

Daemon broke the both of you apart to push Aemond away from you.

"Hurt him. And your daughter dies tonight.", Alicent warned him, but Daemon scoffed mockingly at her.

"You defiled her !", Daemon screamed and withdrew his sword—but you stepped before Aemond with your arms outstretched, prepared to protect him against everything and everyone.

But, you didn't need to, as Alicent was all too eager to save her son as you were.

"You ? Making threats ? Don't make me laugh. I am prepared to face the consequences, and kill all of you if it means protecting my daughter."

However, you didn't expect your mother to join you as she sighed and took your hand to show her support.

He glared at Alicent and her eyes widened in shock at the determination she saw there.

He was prepared to kill them all. But, so was she.

"What is done is done, husband. Stand down.", she commanded.

She seemed so powerful and you could feel the raw majesty radiating from her. She was the only queen your father would ever bow to—and he finally did.

His sword clattered to the floor and he sighed in defeat.

"You already knew...I never stood a chance against you, did I ?"

Your mother addressed him a sad—but sympathetic—smile as she replied knowingly.

"We both knew that it was love from the moment they said it all those years ago. We were just not ready to let her go—but we are now."

She then turned towards the both of you with a bright smile—even though her eyes betrayed the sadness of seeing her own daughter make the same mistake as her. She gently ran her hand down your cheek and kissed your forehead.

"I doubt it will help you, but I give you my blessing."

Your eyes were glassy—filled with tears as you knew the truth of what she was agreeing to.

You both knew you were probably doomed—but had both chosen your own path to happiness. Hers was standing next to Daemon, and yours remained alongside Aemond.

"Thank you...mother."

You uttered weakly and your voice shaking with the emotions you felt.

"I SHALL NOT LET THIS MASQUERADE GO ON ANY LONGER ! I WILL NEVER GIVE YOU MY BLESSING ! THIS IS AN ABOMINATION !", Alicent yelled in a frenzy and you all looked at her with widened eyes.

But, Aemond reacted first and—to the whole assembly's surprise—took her in his arms.

"Let me go...mother.", he whispered and Alicent stilled.

She then broke into tears and wrapped her arms around her son's shoulders, crying out.

"I can't..You are everything I have left.", she finally admitted and Aemond closed his valid eye—internally conflicted as to how to convince his mother that it would be alright.

You could see Aemond was struggling and you smiled before taking Alicent's hand.

"Do not see an enemy in me, lady Alicent. See our relationship as a way to get our families even more united. It is high time for the great house of the Dragon to stand proudly together."

Alicent seemed unsure at first—but finally conceded.

"Alright. But, know that this will only lead to disaster."

You held a scoff. You knew, better than anyone.

"If I shall fall, then so be it. I shall not fall alone."

It would be you and Aemond—until the wrath of the Dragon would take you both and bury you under its ashes.

Aemond intwined your fingers—as if to agree with you—and this time, nobody interfered when you kissed again.

You knew Aemond better than anyone—you had almost been crafted for him and even if the house of Dragon came to an end—you were certain of your choice.

#fandoms #imagine #fanfic #house of the dragon #aemond x you #aemond x reader

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dream-critical · 1 year

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Idk just think it’s weird that Q hasn’t spoken out 🤷🏾‍♀️. People getting doxxed and mess (from what I’ve seen/ heard mainly Q’s “fandom” (sorry don’t know the right word to use)) for simply just for being excited for the USMP. Like he can’t just tweet “I don’t condone this” or whatever?

Even about the messaging thing. Haven’t MULTIPLE people tried and contact him with no response (besides Karl)? It is weird that a lot of people tried reaching out and not one response back just saying “I’m ok, just don’t wanna talk” or something.

But me personally (who hasn’t had the time to really look into this) I didn’t see it as “drama” I saw it as “hey this is what has been going on, and I’ve seen what has happened to the people in both communities”

Ok so I'm taking this at face value so if I'm interpreting anything you've said wrongly do feel free to correct me. And I'm sorry if my response seems all over the place I just wanted to reply as soon as possible.

I think in general it is unfair to expect quackity to reply. Is it the most emotionally mature thing to do? No absolutely not. And I'm sure he's aware of it as well. Do I think the whole situation is ridiculous? Yeah. Do I think it was the best move on Q's part? Probably not. Do I get why he did that? Also yes.

Anyway, I think that in a situation like this, where dream has said some pretty passive aggressive things about quackity, both on Twitter and on stream even when they were supposedly still friends, looked down on the things quackity has achieved, like with the streamer awards etc, Q actually does not owe dream a response. Replying to the other people who reached out would mean having to actually acknowledge what is going on and it would end with having to talk with dream as now others will have become deeply involved in this mess. And I genuinely do not think that dream is the kind of person that would actually listen to Q if they actually did sit down and talk but that's another conversation.

Dream also is known for ghosting people (like the way ccs on the dsmp couldn't do lore streams bc dream never replied to them etc) so the way he's reacting to this is just hypocritical to me and the way he has handled it is also very childish. He's basically forcing quackity to reply to him through peer pressure and by relying on his fans bothering Q about it it enough that he'll give up on keeping distance. Which also is not an emotionally mature reaction imo.

You're right the whole situation is a mess, I have even seen some people who claimed to be doxxed being proven false, and while I do feel very bad in case there are people that did actually get doxxed and hope they'll be able to move on from it soon, saying that the majority of the doxxers are Quackity stans is untrue as far as I know. Bc I've also seen lots of dream stans spreading misinfo, claiming everyone is suddenly from lktwt, claiming every person critisizing dream is racist.

Arguments about the usmp/qsmp are mainly rooted in the fact that some people get really vile about it and yes I'll admit some people who dislike dream do go a bit far. But at this point the majority of mcyt twt dislikes dream so it isn't just quackity stans.

I have seen people being straight up racist towards quackity bc of it. And perhaps you could argue I'm biased as someone who deeply dislikes dream but I think there's a lot more hostility coming from the usmp side of the argument.

Either way doxxing obviously isn't ok and I don't condone it and I hope everyone that got doxxers is safe and ok.

However I'd also like to add that the only reason this whole usmp Vs qsmp debate has been going on is bc dream couldn't stop mentioning quackity and the qsmp all the time so I'd say dream also has blame in this and I feel he should tweet something denouncing his stans harassing others instead of putting all the blame on someone else since he's so keen on putting pressure on Q.

Also would like to add that no matter what quackity does at this point, things will not change for the better as the situation has been escalated by dream like a lot.

#mercury.txt #asks #cc critical #dream critical #dream neg

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snow-system-wol · 1 month

Text

A set of (six) small tales covering from after S'ria and Thancred's argument until the end of the Rak'tika Greatwood arc.

Ao3

S'ria had known to expect this sort of thing, with Urianger muttering to himself and Y'shtola giving him that wary look. He hadn't quite expected it to be so soon, though, or quite so easy to overhear.

“I tire of these games, Urianger. Why do you pretend you cannot see it?!”

Oh, to have heard whatever preceded that. For someone who very clearly seemed to be aware of the Warrior of Light situation, S'ria would've liked to have known how dubiously Urianger had responded to Y'shtola’s questioning.

S'ria stifled a laugh. He shouldn't be standing here listening, not really – but Y'shtola should not be talking about him, behind his back, at such a raised volume either.

It was nothing S'ria couldn't guess. Y'shtola had not mistaken his aether for that of a Lightwarden purely by accident – and yet, was there really such a problem? He'd felt sick for a moment or two both times, but then he was fine. She spoke as if there was something horrible happening to him, and he couldn't decide whether he was more angry that she was privately debating his fate or whether he was more… scared.

S'ria didn't know which of the two frightened him more. Y'shtola, who spoke as though it was already likely too late for him. Or Urianger, who refused to tell even her what his assessment was.

The rational part of his brain, in that unclear way where he could not even tell if it was his own thought or distantly Menphina's, reminded him to calm down. That he should listen to the actual way Y'shtola spoke about him – she cared, she didn't accept this as an inevitable loss.

S'ria felt that it was a sweet sentiment – sweeter still if said to his face, though.

----------

S'ria did not intend to trust Emet-Selch, and that would likely remain the case for the foreseeable future. If anything, he'd be more inclined to give him a chance if he would stop transparently complaining about their lack of goodwill towards him. It felt like… well, S'ria wasn't even sure what to make of it, aside from an attempt to be a nuisance. He'd think that the performative complaints of how – oh, he'd done this kind thing for the Scions and they still would not accept him – were something for Emet-Selch to internalize as a reason to sabotage collaboration. He'd think that, if it were not obvious that Emet-Selch didn't much believe what he was saying either, nor was he really pretending to.

S'ria was still grateful for his promise to return Y'shtola, even if he could not fathom why Emet-Selch would offer. There was no reason to refuse, with Y'shtola already lost to them without his aid. Any little tricks would hardly leave them worse off.

Despite his…recently re-worsened feelings towards Y'shtola, he missed her. If anything, today had been a reminder of how deeply she cared for people. The look in her eyes and completely lack of hesitation while diving after the antidote... S'ria felt that his misgivings may have been unfair, even if being spoken about in secret was unpleasant.

It was with no complaints that S'ria roamed the Greatwoods looking for just the right spot for Emet-Selch’s needs. He wondered if other people could feel the ebb and flow of aether, where it is stronger and weaker – those that were used to using it and casting spells. S'ria could… not feel any difference between the spots where the lantern was dim or bright.

The Ascian likely would have been able to feel the slightest of changes. S'ria wondered how he even saw the world – right before he started his work, he'd muttered to himself to ask what color her soul had been, and S'ria could not help but be immensely curious for a moment. What color was it? Or what were any of theirs, for that matter? Was it even a normal color that could be seen by his very mortal eyes?

S'ria sighed in relief as his attempts at collecting Y'shtola seemed to find purchase. As the aether coalesced into the rough shape of a human form, a body beginning to knit itself back together, S'ria averted his eyes some few fulms to the side. He'd seen this once before, and that already felt like enough of a discourtesy to her.

S'ria had been slightly concerned that Emet-Selch would say something, anything, about Y'shtola’s inevitable state of undress. S'ria could not help but be grateful that he simply snapped his fingers and summoned her clothes onto her body with nary a stray comment on the matter.

Perhaps he didn't feel the need to try to antagonize them at every turn. S'ria would not spurn small mercies.

When the others escorted Y'shtola back to Fanow for her to rest a few hours and be checked over, S'ria hovered behind for a few moments. He thanked Emet-Selch again, for saving her (and for showing basic decency, though he did not add that part out loud.) With just the two of them, Emet-Selch quiet for the moment and S'ria speaking without hostility, it felt like a normal conversation for a brief second. He fixed S'ria with a look that was… indiscernible, but somehow pained.

And then the moment passed, with Emet-Selch rather brusquely informing him that he didn't actually need the gratitude and would rather S'ria stop with the heroic platitudes.

----------

S'ria had agreed to be hands-off with regards to Thancred's decisions, to best keep the peace (even if the delivery of said agreement had really bordered on mocking.) That agreement proved difficult within the next sun.

It was difficult to hold his tongue. Surely the conversation happening a few fulms to his left was rather related to the last few days, and he felt guilty for any role he played in that.

Minfilia had fought alongside them before, with the Fuath. They made a good group – she seemed extremely comfortable with Thancred's fighting style, fairly comfortable with interacting with Urianger on the battlefield, and settled in easily alongside himself as a fellow Rogue. There wasn't even an issue with her getting particularly hurt or endangered, no more so than the usual.

By all measures, it would have been fine for Minfilia to enter The Qitana Ravel with them.

But here Thancred was, insisting she return to Fanow to wait for their return – to her obvious dismay. She only protested briefly before falling silent, and S'ria could feel her eyes on his back – wondering if he was hearing, and if so, why he wouldn't be vouching for her. S'ria busied himself checking the cutting edge of his daggers for any severe knicks or damage, something that could at least pass as focused preparations before the upcoming fight.

S'ria hated to deny her what she'd likely hoped for from him, but when Thancred turned back towards him with nothing but tiredness and faint relief in his eyes, S'ria knew he'd made the right choice. He'd promised not to undermine, after all. Whatever fragile peace this was would likely not have survived immediately arguing with this decision.

S'ria could not truly disagree. With the Eulmorrans having already retreated from the vicinity of Fanow, he did not wholly mind the idea of her not needing to fight a Lightwarden for the first time.

(And, if it had some sort of visible negative effect on S'ria to slay another, she didn't need to watch that.)

----------

S'ria braced for it, as though that'd help. For a moment it was gentle, the light ebbing into him slowly. And then it was not, hitting him with the same inevitability of accidentally swallowing something scalding hot and knowing there was not a single thing left to do but endure the mistake.

It was not agonizing so much as it was just overwhelming.

The brief dizziness and nausea was not quite as bad as the temperature experience was. His body was clearly fighting it, spiking fever hot under duress. His preferred coat suddenly felt far too warm for the moment. And yet, even as the heat lingered, there was a chill that seeped into his bones. His fingertips were entirely numb and shoving them into his pockets did little to help. If he was too warm, how was he also so cold?

There were eyes on him, though, he had to remember. It was easy to remember. His skin crawled with it, the very knowledge that someone was looking at him made him want to snap.

Despite the feeling, the observation itself meant he could not do that. He suppressed the shivering of his body, too, to the best of his ability.

With the physical effects starting to abate, there was simply a strange aimless fear left in him – but being able to look up at the night sky made it settle just slightly.

----------

S'ria stood in “Master Matoya’s” room, the dim light of the room a balm on a fresh headache. He was still faintly shivering – but perhaps she would not be able to tell, really.

“Thank you for coming”. Y'shtola’s voice was solemn. “I thought to keep my suspicions to myself, but after witnessing your victory at Rak’tika Falls, I fear they prove true, and so I must share them with you.”

S'ria smiled crookedly. “I appreciate that you decided not to follow through with your first idea. It was unnerving for you to be hiding something so blatantly. Well, then?”

Y'shtola winced briefly before she settled into something neutral. “From the first when we met at Fort Gohn, your aether has appeared…tainted. Suffused with an overabundance of light not unlike the sin eaters.” She tilted her head in consideration. “When you defeated the Lightwarden, I fear the light which poured forth from it was not negated by Hydaelyn’s blessing. Rather, it was absorbed into your being.”

A confused frown settled onto S'ria's face. Was this meant to be new information? “I… had already known that much, with the way you nearly had me killed before you heard my voice. And the second part – is that an important difference? As long as I can handle it, it doesn't matter exactly what's happening to the light, right?”

Y'shtola’s grip on her staff tightened, the wood just slightly creaking. “I believe it does matter. Urianger also suspects as much, though he is unwilling to share his thoughts on the matter.”

It was a relief for Y'shtola to be so open with him, surprisingly quick and surprisingly frank about it all. Nothing she said sounded worth keeping a secret, really. If they'd actually asked whether the light felt destroyed or still a part of him, he'd have been able to easily answer that question. But he did not need to resent that, now that this was open.

Something pivoted a bit in S'ria's mind then, at fully processing her words. If Y'shtola’s conjectures were simply that something seemed wrong and he was likely in some vague danger, why would Urianger be so unwilling to so much as discuss the prospect? Y'shtola and Urianger often kept things to themself for a bit, but for her to deem it time for S'ria to be informed while Urianger refused to speak on it…

If Y'shtola was trying to turn S'ria against Urianger, to loop him in alongside her own doubts and suspicions, it was working. He'd always been cagey, but Y'shtola was dropped secrecy because she felt it was best for S'ria's safety. So what, then, was Urianger’s aim?

S'ria had felt aimlessly anxious, unable to settle down, skin crawling, but the thought of Urianger betraying his trust made him want to bite first and ask questions later.

No, he was fine. Urianger was the one keeping him alive the whole ordeal that evening, there was…nothing to…worry about. He swore, if Urianger meant him harm, he should be well aware of that by now.

It didn't help much, to try to convince himself, but it was at least enough to keep the veneer of normalcy in place.

S'ria realized Y'shtola was talking, having briefly dissociated out of the conversation.

“ –every Warden you defeat, the danger to you grows greater. Greater perhaps than we can imagine. If you begin to feel anything strange – anything at all – pray inform me at once.”

Anything? That ship had long since sailed.

S'ria would have difficulty describing why he did what he did next. It was the lingering fear, the sense that Y'shtola trusted him now but would not if he told her what'd been happening the whole time – that she'd hear him describe how it felt and she'd brand him on the verge of becoming a monster – the paranoia that no one could know it already was affecting him since the beginning.

With not a moment's thought or hesitation, S'ria opened his mouth and lied.

----------

After S'ria had returned from Eulmore, he'd found sleeping in his bed intolerable. It made memories bubble up too easily and made them feel more real when they did. He'd turned to his tried and true solution for sleeping easier after nightmares – moving to the floor.

It was far less comfortable than home though, with only a single pillow and blanket pulled from the bed – and lying half on rug and half on tile.

S'ria had sheepishly gone downstairs to ask for an extra pillow or two. It was still quite terrible, really, and he'd even more hesitantly asked for another the following night. He told himself very firmly that he would not ask for more after that, with his actions surely already being worthy of judgment (or, if nothing else, he was being a nuisance.)

Even if he was still waking up sore, it was at least slightly better than before – and most importantly, he was getting decent sleep at all.

Now, as S'ria trudged up the stairs after returning from the Greatwoods while feeling exhausted in delightful new ways, he was somewhat dreading how the floor may treat his battle-weary body.

Perhaps if he'd considered a certain someone's insistence on asking after his needs and tending to his well-being after his ordeals, it would not have been such a surprise. As was, though, S'ria was absolutely not expecting there to be around a dozen spare pillows stacked on his bed, and an extra blanket added besides.

He smiled to himself as he arranged his little floor nest into somewhere he was excited to sleep. Many of the pillows did not match each other and none of them matched the basic ones provided by the Pendants – no, even if he didn't already have suspicions about who to thank, the distinctly Allagan patterning of some of them suggested exactly what sort of location they may have been sourced from.

#snow-system #ffxiv-oc #ffxiv-reactions #s'ria 🌸❄️#writings #another 'interlude' write-up where we write a bunch of diff small scenes ha #see previous art post for Floor Nest visuals #FIXED THE ITALICS #sorry sometimes they break and the first letter deitalicizes when I copy from ao3 Idk Why #oops

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rubyprototype · 2 months

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Infinite thing™️ idk how to start actually saying:

Probably will turn into rambles! I just like him a lot and think about how his story is shown to us;

I don't think he ever had like a 'normal' childhood, or life for that matter. Considering he had a squad composed of the same species as him, who look very similar to him;

(sorry jackal fans I do NOT think they would all realistically look near exactly the same unless they were related, like look at the differences between the hedgehogs).

I think he was born into this, maybe not born into being a mercenary but at the very least he was born into being nomadic. But at one point or another it either became unviable ; or people got greedy and wanted to try for more, thus leading them to be mercenaries.

I think it's safe to say that he very clearly already didn't like the world, due to being raised oddly. (even if he wasn't, you don't just become a mercenary for fun; they needed money for some reason), so when he views his idealized version of the world and it's literally a barren wasteland..

I don't view it as inherently just for like. Evil purposes. (Though I'm not denying him being evil, he very clearly is)

The point I'm getting at is when this comic released and I kept seeing people be like "oh i can't believe he just left his squad-" HE DIDNT..... okay.... and this line specifically kinda tells you that.

They say "Don't be tempted, we'll be fine" OKAY. So the worry here, is that they WILL die. He doesn't want that! Why would he? What Infinite's being given right now, in his eyes, is ultimate power, and the insured safety of his squad. Sounds like a win-win on his part? And there isn't much room to negotiate.

People comment on this panel a lot; where he's seemingly nonchalant,

But I imagine it's him partially playing to cool, as to not worry his squad, or seem too desperate to Eggman. He believes what he's saying here; as established he doesn't like the world as is. Again, win-win situation. He didn't "ditch his squad" he saw a way to protect them and be given power the world literally has never seen....

That's also why I really hate the weak jokes people make about him, after taking a risky move he couldn't avoid, his entire squad gets killed off, then he is immediately told to 'clean up the mess they made' and go fight THE GUY who killed them

He literally says they're ANNIHILATED. Infinite does not get time to grapple with this at all before he's told

That his squad was USELESS. His family was USELESS. And now he has to face the person who killed annihilated them, without a second to process; and then after being beaten by THE ULTIMATE LIFEFORM. Is instead, spared, called weak, then told to never show his face again. His breakdown wasn't "Wash shadow called me weak :(" his breakdown was, "my entire family was just killed by this guy and now he has the audacity to call me weak, and then he's upset because, to him, he IS being weak.

He is THE ULTIMARE MERCENARY !!!! He did not expect the right to go the way it did, shadow literally teleported around him... with a title like that he had to be extremely skilled, and with the jumps he does in Episode Shadow right before the fight, I'm willing to believe that!

Fear clearly isn't an emotion he's used to feeling, and with his family dead, and his pride crushed now, it stacked and led into his breakdown. The rest of Episode Shadow is literally him talking about how he 'threw away his old self', the one who couldn't hold his own, who couldn't save the people he cared about. And, with nothing left to care about; he continues on with the war plans.....

I started rambling I simply think it's unfair to say he 'ditched' his squad, and it's unfair to just call him weak for a haha funny because he literally. Isn't? And never was in any capacity. And when people reduce him down to just 'guy who hates being called weak' it really just ignores all the interesting tidbits he does have, and that forces DID get to show us... even with minimum digging he has a personality that reaches beyond how I see him often portrayed.... he is so cool and I love him so much thanks

(I don't feel like putting a DNI on this but be normal....... thanks....)

#infinite the jackal #sonic forces #character analysis #I guess??? lol #this is just the basis for my Infi hc's and how it goes after the war #using mostly canon info #I love him a LOT so it makes me sad to see people treat him bad or reduce him to nothing #or make jokes at the expense of his trauma.....#this is also why I can't understand why people would ship him w/ sh*dow #😭😭😭#I love him so much #💭 [meow?]

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comfysofti · 2 months

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Another night, another rambling about characters in my madness combat au, weee

Today I'm talking about 2BDamned, because

Man

Did i made him suffer

He's geniuenly one of the most tragic(or at least one of the most traumatised) characters in my au, if you really go deep with analysing him

(part 4 out of 20-something(probably) parts of me talking about characters in my madness combat au)

A little quote that i like to use for him: if you pick up a stray, will it actually love you? Will it actually obey you? Even if you give it home, food, anything it desires? It won't, if you "rule it" with a fiery, iron grip

2BDamned was one of those unfortunate folks who got forced to join Auditors and Phobos' organisation because of their lack of staff (which definitely didn't occurred because they were using staff that they deemed useless as subjects in inhumane experiments, nope)

He quickly, however became his bosses "favourite" and became a lead scientist in the hybrid project that they're running. And with him becoming their favourite, in less than a month, getting the highest position a scientist can get in a few weeks, he got some, "weird looks" to say the least. Some people were just jealous of him, and thought that all this was unfair, others were actually impressed by this, and thought he deserves his position, some people didn't had an opinion on the situation

But, either way, with the amount of bonuses that he got from being a favourite, he also got a lot of. Minuses. Downsides. Really. Really. Bad ones. He got such huge position because he was very important for the hybrid project, and with the amount of things he knew, nor Auditor nor Phobos wanted him to ever leave. After all, why let leave someone so valuable? So easily usable and broken? It didn't dawned on 2B how doomed he was until it was too late

At first, he had to witness his friends became subjects to those inhumane experiments. Which he leads, hence him being lead scientist/medic of the team that handles it. Not counting him witnessing thousands if not more people die and suffer daily because of those experiments

But this is not the worst part. Auditor and Phobos are the worst part of it all. After seeing how valuable 2B actually is, they decided they won't let him leave them, no matter what. Even if it meant, like, breaking his bones a few times! Or maybe even driving him insane! You know... To teach him a lesson that he can't leave them, and all questions about permanent leave will lead to him getting injured, almost killed even. But 2B doesn't want to be this dog at their side. But he can't leave and he knows it. It was scaring him. Being monitored by his bosses almost 25/8, feeling constantly alone and scared, terrified to even breathe in their presence

At some point, he thought that maybe death will safe him. It's gentle embrace and darkness, will finally safe him. But after almost 20 unsuccessful attempts to end his existence(its a miracle he was safed all those times), he realised that death won't safe him from them. They can always revive him, and fuck around with his brain, so he'll be this "obedient lapdog" that they want him to be. This realisation hit him like a train at full speed

Is he broken? Totally broken in sense of his sanity? Yes. But he hides it. His mask and cold tone help to hide it. Help to hide the fear. This chill that always runs down his body. Everyday he goes to work, or even wakes up

Being a favourite isn't always nice. Even if it looks like it is

Again, his friends, everyone that was close to him, suffered and nearly died in inhumane experiments, and he couldn't do anything about it. He loathes himself for not doing anything to help them, although he couldn't do anything either way. His self hatred filled with all the abuse, manipulation and gaslighting he experiences at work from his bosses will eventually break him completely

In bad timeline it did. He got the death he wanted but as predicted he was just revived and turned into "obedient puppet"

In insanity timeline, he became a subject as well. A lamb, weak sheep(literally), unable to walk. Left to suffer and die alone, in pain, with countless minutes to reflect and loathe himself for all he did to those poor people who died and suffered, the same way he does now

2BDamned is supposed to suffer. In all timelines. Not just because of Auditor and Phobos but also because of his guilt. Because of his blindness to obvious exits when they're present. He had countless chances to leave, but always ignored them. Perhaps if he didn't ignored at least one of them, at the very beginning of all this, perhaps he would've had a chance to have a relatively normal life

Well, that's all about him <:33

Don't have anything to add, unless someone has questions, so ya know, feel free to ask them, if you have any!!!

Thanks for reading, and off to sleep i go!

#madness combat #2bdamned #Vee's madcom au rambling #a1110 archived project au #if you couldn't tell i like making very tragic and traumatised characters #but hey it's madness combat au what do you expect

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anticonspiracist · 2 years

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likely the final response from larrie anon

Hi, Larrie anon one last time. I won't go into Larry again, you are right... we are not going to agree on anything there.

Look, I knew going into this that you weren’t going to agree with me, because you’re a conspiracy theorist and I’m not and this isn’t my first rodeo, as we say in Texas. However, I do have to admit that I’m surprised at the extent to which you were able to actively ignore every time I said that your behavior is harmful even within the belief constraints of your conspiracy theory. You truly have placed your own feelings above those that you claim to support. Wild.

I did want to reply on the matter of antisemitism. Ofcourse there's a reason there are not many Jewish people around. And I concede that I put that comment about not having Jewish friends by coincidence without thought. And I will take your comment with me. I don't think me being ignorant makes me antisemist though. Dutch children are absolutely being tought about the tragedies of Ww2. Anne Franks Diary is on my shelf. We commemorate the deaths every year and, speaking for my own education, we went on excursions to a transportationcamps often. My grandparents were alive during ww2. My grandmothers family had Jewish people hide at their farm, my grandfather lost his dad in the army... he cannot speak of certain things. So I am aware of the tragedies and I believe most of my fellow Dutchies are. I do not feel responsible for what my government did during the war. I was not born yet.

Okay, but you still have no Jewish friends or acquaintances.

And FYI, when informed of the underlying antisemitic tropes of what you call your “beliefs,” you dismissed them! Go back to your messages here and see that you just claim you AREN’T antisemitic even though you still have these beliefs. Again, WILD. Maybe if you had a Jewish friend you wouldn't be so quick to say your beliefs don't engage in antisemitism.

I think we live in very different countries politics-wise. Although the Netherlands are far from perfect we do seem to be a bit more stable then US right now. We are not divided in Democrats vs Republicans, we have sixteen parties to choose from when voting, I think that makes our society less likely to stand directly across from each other. We do talk politics amongs each other, but it does not define who we are friends with. We do look at the US situation with fear of the possibility of it happening to us too though.

In 2021 you actually had 37 parties to choose from, but whatever. (I’m just an ignorant American, right?) Your country has fascism problems currently, and a not-insignificant problem with conspiracy theorists in office. Look down on America all you want, but the most effective QAnon recruiting tool, Fall of the Cabal, came from your country! Geert Wilders is the leader of the party with the third-most number of seats in your House! Not to mention Thierry Baudet’s Forum for Democracy. Twenty-five seats going to these two parties is a significant faction. It’s already happening to you. It’s already there. Maybe that should be something you’re an activist about.

I don’t know what your purpose for bringing up politics was. Was this some attempt to use the fallacious argument to moderation? Do you think that because your perception of your political climate is that there aren’t extremes (even though there are) and people are not directly opposed in every way (even though that's not an accurate depiction of American politics either) that somehow, that is conferred to you in this discussion? That me being so solidly against conspiracy theorism and identifying myself as such is an unreasonable yet fully American extremist position and therefore you are right because you have “16” political parties to choose from?

I am not a person educated in politics, so you will always win that debate from me.

So why bring it up? What point are you trying to prove?

I also think for most people it's normal to to be educated in politics and it's unfair to judge them because of their lack of knowledge.

I assume there’s a typo in here and that you mean it’s normal NOT to be educated in politics. I teach a required course to 17-18-year-olds called “U.S. Government” so no, I don’t think it’s “normal” to not be educated in politics. You have the internet at your fingertips and time enough to watch TikTok videos about Larry Stylinson, so you have time enough to inform yourself.

You come across as intimidating. By building your persona using words like: anticonspirisist, antisemitism, falsification, etc you scare people. You are smart, but not kind.... which makes you unaproachable. Your followers will follow your takes without critisism, because otherwise they will also be seen as conspiricy theorists. I've seen the reblogs of your posts, no original thoughts. You are not having conversations or discussions. You are just laying out your laws. I wish you well and hope the political climate in your country will get better eventualy.

I’m sorry, but how in the WORLD are you scared by words like that? They are specific words that mean specific things that I’ve written about dozens of times and are easily searched on the internet for more context. You came here asking me if I knew this and this and that, and when I show that I am indeed knowledgeable, all of the sudden that knowledge makes me unapproachable? The words I use are to "build [a] persona"??

What you mean to say is that you realized that I DO know every piece of larrie lore and that because I am not convinced by it, you are unsettled because you are convinced by it.

You thought that the evidence was undeniable and here I am, an educated woman just a bit younger than you, knowing more about the subject you brought up, and have an opposite view: not only is this conspiracy theory not real, but it is also not “just for fun” and does actively harm people.

Don’t turn that discomfort back on me. What you’re feeling, finally, is the effects of cognitive dissonance. Your worldview has been shaken. You try to blame me and my “attitude” for your discomfort, but it’s all within you. As @back-to-louis is so fond of saying, the calls are coming from inside the house.

What you haven’t considered is that there is a reason I don’t temper my personality here. I don’t behave like a cult leader, love-bombing people to make them feel safe and liked and so SMART for coming to the conclusion they’ve been led to by obscuring reality and explaining away unpleasant truths. But that’s what you’re used to here on tumblr. You’re used to fake “you’re so smart for getting it.” I’m saying, “not only is your belief in larrie not an indication of your social intelligence and knowledge of the music industry, but everything you take as evidence is bullshit.”

Also, bold of you to criticize anti-conspiracists as having “no original thoughts.” You didn’t bring a single original thought to this discussion. Not one! You’re only parroting what you’ve heard from everyone else. It’s been YEARS of this for most of us, and so why say again in a reblog what has already been said about the thing that larries have been saying for a decade? There is nothing new under this son.

AND this is some blatant @back-to-louis erasure, painting me as the unquestioned cult leader. I linked to her posts over and over again and you’ve just decided that it’s me that says what I say and everyone just blindly follows. BTL has been having discussions with people for literally a decade and you can read it all on her blog, but you've chosen not to. You have looked at reblogs from this one blog which is relatively new because my old blog got nuked and decided we never discuss things.

You came here wanting to discuss the exact same details that anti-conspiracists debunked 10 years ago. Can you see how boring that is for us? You think that everything you know is new and fresh because you are new to this but we are not. I made YouTube videos, I’ve recorded a podcast, I’ve been interviewed on multiple occasions, I’ve written hundreds of thousands of words on this topic and nothing you said surprised me. You stumbled into the inbox of an expert on the larrie mindset. Of course you’ll come away from that feeling bad. I’m not pulling my punches! I’m not welcoming you with open arms. Why would I? What you do is actively harmful and unkind.

That said, you don’t have to be a larrie. That’s a choice you make every day.

#larry stylinson #harry styles #louis tomlinson

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cosmicdreamt · 11 months

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Excerpt from Chapter 7: Waning gibbous - Strength and The Sun

Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5 || Chapter 6 || Chapter 7 || Chapter 8 || Chapter 9 || Chapter 10 || Chapter 11

Once again she’s been made to look at herself from the outside looking in, and once again she’s proven that she doesn’t give herself enough credit. He’s right. Most people find it so difficult to go through so much and remain hopeful. Most would give up seeing any good in the world after being beat down time and time again. But the ones that keep trying? And succeeding? And making the best whenever they can? She would admire those people.

Now, Neff wouldn’t consider herself an optimist. She thinks way too much about both the pros and the cons to keep seeing the brightest sides of things. If anything she’d consider herself a realist that can find a good point in most situations, if not all. Trauma had turned that bright eyed little girl jaded - or maybe it just gave her the ability to see the world for what it truly is while applying those hopes in a more realistic way.

Everything is about perspective. Is the glass half full? Is the glass half empty? For her it’s all about if the liquid was being poured into or out of the glass in the first place. Then one has to consider - what type of liquid was being poured into the glass? Was it something good for someone, or was it poison? Filling something doesn’t always mean it’s something good. Same with pouring something out. Are you getting rid of something good for you, or are you getting rid of something bad to make more room for something better?

At one point Neff’s life had been a very distinct world of black and white. You either were or you weren’t. Because of that she’d ended up doing a lot of things she wasn't proud of…and because of that she’d learn to view the world instead in greyscale. When you can see the world with so many more details you can learn to understand it better. Not everything is possible to understand, and that’s okay, but what matters is being able to understand as much as you’re able to.

As she had just discussed with her therapist prior, people change over time depending on their environment and experience. For better or for worse depends on how an individual looks at it. The biggest question for Neff at this point is which does she think she changed for?

If you asked her this question about her choices in the past she’d most certainly tell you she changed for the worst, but as she sees it now? Maybe it’s less that she changed for better or for worse and just simply…changed. Did something always have to be labeled good or bad?

She changed from a young child with so much more hope for what the world had to offer to a troubled teenager who saw the world for what it really was. At the time, however, it was more that she saw all the bad the world had to offer. She recognized how unfair it could be, how unjust it could be, and how the world could be just plain cruel. Sometimes there seemed to be no rhyme or reason as to why good people suffered and bad people could live their lives without worry. She wanted so badly to escape that type of world, to force it to give her something better, but in the end all she did was make things worse.

And then she changed again - into an adult with more understanding of the world. Understanding that, well, it’s impossible to understand everything and to just try to work with what you have. She learned to appreciate the smaller things in life better, she learned how not to focus so much on all the bad things in her life, and she learned to focus on the things that were within her control instead of everything that wasn’t. She learned how to properly express herself and how to feel her feelings without making it the problems of others, she learned how to live with her trauma better and work on bettering the symptoms she had gotten because of it. Her doubts, her suspicions, her over observations, her fears…they were all things that changed within her that weren’t good or bad, it just was. It was all up to her how she managed these things and if she let them control her life or not.

“I’m a warrior and a survivor.”

As soon as she speaks those words the weight of them finally hits her. Tears instantly begin falling from her eyes and she feels the tiny arm of her Dream gently rubbing her back. She truly had been fighting so hard for so long, hasn’t she? She went from her highest high to her lowest low…and managed to crawl back up out of it. It’s true what they say - when you’ve reached rock bottom the only other place you can go is up. She didn’t bury herself after falling so far down, didn’t let it consume her and eat her alive. She had a newfound appreciation for life and what she could make out of it. That’s not easy for people. But she did it.

She knows what it’s like for the emotional brain and logical brain to constantly be at war with one another - and just how easy it is to let your emotions get the better of you. You spend all that time trying to see the world in all its different colors and shades - to understand the things that won’t send you into a spiral, just for the emotional brain to be able to hit the light switch and throw you into darkness. It makes you panic, it throws all rationale out the window, and it puts you right back to acting and reacting based on fear. It’s only after you’ve had time and let your eyes adjust do you realize nothing had changed from when you last saw it and all you had to do was turn the light back on yourself.

Sometimes it really was as easy as giving yourself a little time to think about things more clearly to realize it’s not as bad as you thought it was.

Things may not always work out that way in the moment, however, and that’s okay. Humans aren’t meant to be perfect, so having mental illness or trauma or chronic illness doesn’t make you any lesser than anyone else. It may take a little more time and effort to overcome those hurdles and reach a point in life where things are more manageable, but that doesn’t make one weaker. No, if anything it makes them stronger - knowing the battles that one has to face daily.

It’s so easy to feel like you have to fight harder and do more to earn your place in the world when most if not all of your life seemed like a constant fight for survival to begin with. When it’s a struggle just to get up in the morning and do simple tasks that anybody else could do with ease, when it takes all your strength and concentration just to wash your face or brush your teeth or even eat, when simply existing is a daily battle it’s so easy to see yourself as a failure.

But the truth is when even those little things feel so hard and you still manage to do them, when it takes all that energy and you still pull through - you’ve fought and survived another day.

And that is enough. All you need to do and be is enough.

#⋡☆《drabbles》—how is a raven like a writing desk #[[ oops this is LATE ]]

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iturbide · 2 years

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Personally I hate Henriette more than Gustav. Base version Sharena tells us how she and her mother write each other every day/weeks and I imagine she writes how many times they were almost killed, not to mention Gustav and Henriette being perfectly fine with sending their children to war instead of trained soldiers with far more experience. I imagined Henriette would at least showed up to stay with her children or talk to her husband and tell him to "forgive them" for abandoning royalty, instead Henriette shows up only when the war towards Hel starts how strange...

I swear if Intsy give us the possibility to adopt heroes (a S support but platonic) I will take Alfonse and Sharena and give them all the love they deserve

That's entirely reasonable! I don't...really think I can say I hate one more than the other, though, because frankly both of them have handled this situation terribly, just in very different ways.

I'm actually willing to write off Henriette's letter writing with Sharena and general absence as having duties of her own to perform: a queen isn't necessarily just there to look pretty, she can have her own matters to attend to either separate from or related to her husband's work. The diplomatic situation with Embla is in a terrible state and has been since before the game began: although we have no idea what the Askran king and queen are up to, we do know that Embla has a council that helps guide policy, so it wouldn't be unreasonable for them to be trying to use diplomatic channels to sort out the situation while the Order of Heroes and the rest of the Askran guard handle the country's defense; then in Book 2 when we start forgetting about Embla in favor of Muspell, it's similarly reasonable to think that the king and queen are managing the Emblian front while the Order of Heroes gets pulled into the Nifl/Muspell side of the conflict. Just like Sharena and Alfonse aren't able to get away from their duties with the Order of Heroes to sit down regularly with their parents, it's unfair to assume that Henriette could but chooses not to. Writing letters doesn't require schedule alignment: it's something both she and Sharena can do when they have the time to spare to keep in touch, and honestly it can be a sweet gesture -- especially when compared to Gustav freezing his children out for their decision to join the Order of Heroes.

(Also, I don't think Sharena's going to tell her mom that she almost got killed. If she wants to stay in the Order of Heroes and keep making friends, she's probably not going to make it sound like her life is in immediate danger -- if she brings up any risk at all, she'd probably immediately downplay it by saying that she took care of it or that Alfonse/Anna/one of her Hero friends saved the day.)

It also bears mentioning that Gustav and Henriette aren't 'perfectly fine' with their kids engaging in the conflict against Embla/Muspell/Hel (at least not through the first few books). It's stated explicitly in Book 3 Chapter 1 that after Alfonse went against his father's wishes and joined the Order of Heroes, Gustav told his son that he never wanted to see him again:

Alfonse: Mother...why have you come? Henriette: To bring you back home. Your father needs to speak to you. Alfonse: He does? Last we spoke, I understood that he...he did not wish to see me again.

Which. Uh. Not a great look there, Gustav, disowning your son for doing something you don't like, rather than...oh, I don't know...talking to him and explaining why it's not a good idea? Maybe actually teaching him about how to lead Askr instead of washing your hands of your heir? So it's not that Gustav personally ordered his kids out onto the battlefield, it's that he basically decided "let them die, that'll teach them to go against my orders." Henriette might not have stopped them, either, but she's clearly more amenable toward her kids, willing to let them make their own decisions while still being there to support them -- hence the letter writing, and being so eager to spend time with her children when she gets to (such as personally tending Alfonse's wounds after a battle).

Personally, my big issue with Henriette is that she's basically an enabler of her husband's neglectful and abusive behavior. If she was in any way trying to mend the rift in the family after Gustav turned his back on Alfonse, she wasn't willing to go against him in order to do it. When Gustav chastises her for telling Alfonse that his father missed him, she immediately bows out and says it was "her mistake." She specifically warns Sharena before that not to "disrupt the conversation" between her brother and their father, and later when Gustav tells Sharena off for defending her brother Henriette makes no move to defend her daughter (and while I'll admit that we don't know with certainty whether she was there for that moment, since she doesn't have any lines, she is in the camp since her bandaging Alfonse's wounds happens shortly afterward). And then on top of that, telling Gustav that he did the right thing in that Forging Bonds...that's the epitome of the enabling behavior. She tells Gustav that he was right in the way he chose to mistreat his son, and that he was a good person for what he did. It's frankly disgusting to me, because there might have been an argument that she's as much a victim as her kids, given Gustav's abusive behavior...until she jutifies his actions with three years of hindsight, having watched her children continue to struggle to fill roles they were never prepared for because Gustav neglected to do so, preferring to berate them for not knowing what he never taught them. She tells a dead man that his cruelty was in fact justified, and that I cannot forgive.

#answered #anonymous #fire emblem: heroes #gustav #cw: abuse #look i have a lot of thoughts about henriette and gustav #none of them are terribly good #at least henriette can kind of support her kids #that's about the only thing she has going for her

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scripted-downfall · 2 years

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Connections and the Lack Thereof

At this point, my lack of any appreciation (exaggerating… a bit) for Max is probably coming through loud and clear, but I also wanted to touch upon her actions/words/beliefs in “Proof of Purchase.” I mean, don’t get me wrong, I know she cared a lot about getting rid of that retrovirus… but also, if she’d just stopped and thought for a bit, I’d hope that she would realize how unfair she was being. (Then again, this is Max, so she wouldn’t.)

I mean, to rephrase her background and stance prior to that episode. She escaped Manticore years in the past. When she did, she was absolutely confused until she figured out how everything worked, at which point she turned self-reliant, isolationist, and very guarded. Then, she met Logan — a very rich, especially relative to the times, very well-connected man whom she started working with/falling for — and was able to take advantage of his money and connections to further her own goals. I mean, even what she was doing in “Proof of Purchase” was thanks to Logan; it was his money from selling his painting with a doctor that he found (with help from Lydecker).

Meanwhile, Alec just got out of Manticore. He’s still figuring out how things work without orders to either follow or to contravene, acting pretty similar to how Max did when she got out. He has no connections, no money — except whatever he was earning from the boxing that got him in trouble in the first place — and nobody he can turn to for assistance. And then he receives a bomb right next to his spinal cord and both 1) orders and 2) a threat in order for him to survive, the first of which he’s been conditioned to follow and the second of which is innately something he’d respond to.

And yet Max has the gall to act… well, to act like herself. For one thing, she wasn’t there during the scenes with White. It wasn’t a situation of “he thought he could run his game on a bad guy” because he was kidnapped??? It’s not like he thought, ooh, lemme just step over here and offer my services to White and his transgenic-killers and then screw them over. It was a bit more along the lines of oh, shit, I’ve been kidnapped… let’s pretend to help to talk my way out of it followed by a subsequent bomb-injection and well, damn, now I’m gonna have to actually follow through or I’m dead. Him agreeing to help White was a matter of self-preservation, not of choice, and — whether he made the right decisions throughout the process or not — he wasn’t acting cocky; he was acting like he was trying to save his own life. Which he was.

And then, as if Max’s bitchiness about that weren’t enough, there’s also the implication that he should’ve told her, or should’ve come to her… and I find this just absolutely laughable??? She acts (throughout the series, not just here) as if she’s the most welcoming person in existence, regularly being all why the hell didn’t you come to me? to Alec. I mean, maybe he didn’t come to you because, whenever you saw him in eps 1 and 2, you told him in no uncertain terms how unwelcome he was? (And, btw, kinda seemed like you’d be perfectly fine with him dying???) Or maybe because he was raised in Manticore, where you dealt with your own problems or were a liability to the mission and were either re-brainwashed or killed?

Anyway, I just find it hilarious — in a bad way — that Max is sitting on this relative pedestal surrounded by money and connections, and she’s looking down on the guy who just got out of Manticore, is generally hated by both Max and Logan for the whole virus thing, and has nothing to his name for relying on himself to try and save his own life.

#dark angel #alec mcdowell #anti max #anti max guevara #shocker i know #me? anti max? who'd ever have guessed #he deserves better #as always

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anchormuses · 2 years

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☺ - cuddles with my muse - from spy dads @curiosityshop !!!

TOUCH STARVED PROMPTS / @curiosityshop

HE DOESN’T HAVE TO DO THIS. Of course he doesn’t. They’ve told him so, over and over, as if he doesn’t know that he doesn’t have to. Morse does not have to exist, either, or talk, or read, but he does, anyway, because these things simply are. Why should this be any different? Just as he does exist, even though nobody has asked him to, and just as he does talk, even though he’s sure many people would rather he didn’t, Morse will prepare food, even though he doesn’t have to. It’s right. It’s the way things should be. His mother had been sick, and Morse hadn’t, so he cooked for the two of them. The same principles apply here; Harry and Merlin have been working. Surely, they’re tired. They should sit down. Morse isn’t tired, so why should he not make the food?

WHY THEY CANNOT UNDERSTAND THIS LOGIC IS BEYOND HIM. It doesn’t matter anyway; if they’re going to protest, he’ll simply avoid the problem by carrying out his tasks as quickly and as quietly as he can manage. If they don’t notice until he has already finished making the food, they’ll have no choice but to accept, and that way, he will have lifted the burden of cooking from them and proven himself capable of doing so. He waits until he’s sure the coast is clear before he attempts his mission. Congratulating himself on his sneakiness, Morse slips into the kitchen.

HE’S LOOKING FOR A PAN WHEN THE DOOR OPENS BEHIND HIM. Unfortunately, he’s not as tall as he’d like to be, so he’s standing on a chair, and even then, he’s stretched up on his tiptoes to try and reach the top shelf. Morse freezes in place at the sound of the door opening. His hands hover halfway to their destination, eyes comically large and faintly panicked. As much as he hopes to unscramble his mind quickly enough to come up with an excuse, he knows it must be clear what he’s doing. He’s been told not to do it often enough.

HE TURNS TO LOOK GUILTILY TOWARDS THE DOOR. Any moment now, he’s sure to receive the familiar words intended to relieve him of his task. To his confusion, the words do not come. What happens instead prompts a gasp of surprise from him which very nearly threatens to become a squeal, as he is scooped up from the chair he stands on, and removed from the kitchen entirely.

THIS IS COMPLETELY UNFAIR! Morse should very much like to protest, but oddly, he finds himself incapable of words. The feeling of his legs swinging in the air instead of supporting him is so funny that he can hardly stop himself from kicking them, and the arms holding him hostage give him the very strange urge to curl himself around one of them. It takes his brain a few seconds to catch up. When it does, he realises he’s grinning, and he can’t speak because all of his efforts have already been diverted to stopping himself from giggling.

HE’S SOON TAKEN TO HIS DESTINATION. A second pair of arms joins the first and if Morse didn’t know better, he’d say--- no, it is a hug. He’s being hugged. Cuddled. He’s been caught in the act, captured, and now he’s being trapped in the most affectionate sort of prison. And there’s absolutely nothing he can do about it. The terribly frustrating urge to laugh has not disappeared yet. Morse really ought to be protesting loudly, but his hands have curled into the fabric of sleeves, and his head is leaning against a shoulder, and without his knowledge or permission, the smile is still plastered on his face.

THIS JUST WON’T DO. He has things to be doing! How can he possibly cook now? Morse lifts his head and swallows his smile, twisting his expression into his most furious glare. He looks between his two captors as crossly as he can manage. “That’s not fair,” he informs them, trying to make himself sound intimidating. He’s never told an adult off before, but this is most certainly a situation that calls for it. “You’re not allowed to do that.”

#this has no right to be so funny ashdjfads #curiosityshop #verse. ( what is home if not the first place you learn to run from? ( pre-university verse. ) )#answered.#queue.

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