Anecdotes of a Guard Life: Bribery
Inspired by this post!
Another this-just-took-hold-of-me-and-wouldn't-let-go-until-I-wrote-it inspired by someone else bit of fanfic! At least it's only around 1000 words this time... No CWs! This is all just fluff!
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Stone ate his mildly disgusting breakfast mush lacklusterly. The packaging had promised melioorun flavour porridge, but if this slop had even seen anything resembling a melioorun, he’d eat the whole kriffing box. Adding some of the sugar they’d “requistioned” from the most recent Senate Gala had helped far less than he expected.
The door to the small commander’s mess opened, and Stone blearily looked up, grateful for the distraction.
Fox walked in, fully kitted up in armour and helmet, and Stone raised an eyebrow. The Marshall Commander stuck to protocol rigidly, but barracks areas were helmet-by-choice areas, and Fox typically chose to go without. If he wasn’t coming off a 24 hour shift in the Senate, he’d probably be better able to figure out a reason behind it, but as it was, he just stared as Fox moved over towards the cupboards.
He watched as Fox opened the first cupboard, stared into it for several moments, pushed aside a few bits, then shut it and moved on to the next one. This process repeated itself several times before Stone finally mustered together the curiosity to ask.
“What’re you looking for, Fox?”
There’s a low grumbling, completely inaudible through the vocoder, and Stone blinks. “Sorry?”
Fox sighs heavily and turns to face him. “Caf.”
Stone stares. “Don’t you normally have several boxes in the first cupboard?”
“Yes.”
Silence.
“So... Where’s it all gone?” Stone ventures cautiously. Surely the Marshall Commander wouldn’t forget to add caf to the requisition forms he fills out?
There’s a sound that Stone is convinced in a growl, then one word. “Thorn.”
Stone’s spoon is held forgotten suspended above his bowl, as he squints at Fox, confused.
“...Thorn?”
“You called?” Thorn suddenly pops his head in through the open door and Stone has to frantically catch his spoon before it flips onto the floor as he jumps.
“Kriff, Thorn!”
“Only on weekends!” Thorn chants, voice entirely too chipper for this hour of the morning. He slides into the room, also fully kitted up, but that’s much more normal for the early-bird Commander. “I heard my name being taken in vain?”
“Where’s the caf?”
Thorn pauses and turns to face the source of the last growled question. Fox is laser-focused on him and even through the visor Stone’s pretty sure the glower on his face is fierce.
Thorn doesn’t answer for a moment, before his helmet tilts slightly to the side and he places his hands on his hips. “You know what you need to do.”
Stone watches, eyes flipping between the two of them as they stand off against each other. He’s got absolutely no idea what’s going on, but whatever it is, it’s fascinating.
Fox’s shoulders rise tensely, and his fists clench, before all of a sudden he slumps with a sigh. He raises his arms slightly and Thorn makes an... inhuman squealing sound before rushing forwards, slipping his arms around him and lifting him from the ground in a...
Hug...
Thorn is hugging Fox, arms wrapped around his middle, Fox’s boots dangling a foot above the ground and helmet tilted exasperatedly to the side. Stone could swear Thorn’s visor has taken on a gleeful tint as he squeezes Fox, who lets out a little “Ooft” of protest, but otherwise does nothing to prevent it from happening.
Stone’s pretty sure his mouth has dropped wide open, but he just can’t seem to stop staring. He never thought he’d see the day. Marhsall Commander Fox. Accepting a hug. And not separating the perpetrator’s head from their shoulders.
He wishes he’d been wearing his own helmet. What he wouldn’t give for a holo... No one will believe him.
Thorn keeps squeezing for what must be a whole minute before finally easing a floppy Fox back to the ground and letting go. Fox stands awkwardly for a moment, head canted back, before sighing again. “Caf?” He asks shortly, though Stone could swear his voice is soft and fond behind the abruptness.
“Bones has it!” Thorn chirps.
Fox nods, before edging carefully around Thorn, never turning his back to him, as if in fear of another hug attack, before leaving the room.
Stone sits in silence while Thorn watches after him for a moment, then has to ask “What the kriff was all that about?”
Thorn turns to him, pulling off his helmet with a grin. “I hide his caf until he lets me give him a hug!”
Stone stares. “You know he’s just going to kill you one day right?”
Thorn laughs. “You’d think but, here’s a little secret.” He strides over and throws himself into the chair opposite Stone, groaning gratefully at being off his feet. “Fox has a secret caf stash squirreled away in his weapons locker.”
Stone blinks, confused. He has not had enough sleep for this. “So... Why’s he looking for the stuff you hid?”
“Exactly,” and here Thorn smiles again, but it’s soft and slightly sad this time. “He has his own right? So. If he’s searching for the stuff I hid rather than using his secret stash, that’s how I know he really needs a hug.”
“Why doesn’t he just ask?” Stone frowns.
“Marshall Commander Fox ask for a hug? The calm, never-shaken, strong, Shiny-idol Fox? That one?” Thorn raises an eyebrow, and Stone thinks.
Yeah... It wouldn’t exactly fit the image he’s made for himself.
“Fair enough,” Stone shrugs, digging his spoon back into his slop and grimacing at the congealed texture.
“Want to know another secret?” Thorn asks, and Stone probably shouldn’t, but he’s weak for gossip and Thorn, the master manipulator, is well aware of it.
“Go on then.”
Thorn pulls something out of his pocket. “I carry caf rations with me at all times.” He holds up a little tub of what is clearly instant caf granules and shakes it at Stone.
“In case of emergency hug needs?”
Thorn grins. “Partially, but also. If I really, really want something and Fox is in a bad mood, bringing him a caf and asking while he’s in the middle of his second sip is almost guaranteed to get me what I want.”
Stone bursts into laughter. The Guard may follow it’s Marshall Commander with adoration and respect.
But secretly, he’s pretty sure Thorn is the real leader of the Guard.
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