#For what though? I have to ask myself for what I’m doing all of this?
Text
mine | matt sturniolo
contents: cursing; fighting; (kinda) toxic relationship; handjob (m receiving); oral (f receiving); use of “y/n”; lowkey sub!matt
- ♡ -
as we arrived at his house, i slammed the door shut behind me. “can you stop being an asshole?” i yelled, getting closer to him.
“yes? if you stop acting like a fucking whore” matt said, raising his voice at me.
“shut up matthew” i was serious this time, and he could it see it in my eyes. “don’t act like you didn’t notice how every fucking girl there was hitting on you”.
matt rolled his eyes back, giving me a whole grin before shouting “you sat on his LAP!”
“he’s my friend!” i answered. “i know him longer than i’ve known you!”
“you’re my fucking girl!”, his loud voice filled the living room to the point it made me shrug, not being able to get a word out of my mouth.
i stayed there, quiet. my arms were crossed as i stared into his eyes — i could instantly tell he regretted saying that. matt was moving in circles, scratching freshly shaved beard and cracking his knuckles before coming back to me.
“okay? you’re my girl y/n. you can’t do shit like that and expect me to be fine about it” he grabbed my face with both of his hands and stared back at me, talking in an angry, almost demanding tone. his touch, however, was still soft.
“no matthew, i’m not your fucking girl if you’re not gonna be my fucking guy. what the fuck was that scene for?” i put my hands over his and removed them.
“listen y/n, i can’t do this. i’m sorry, okay? i’m sorry but it’s better if we go to sleep. i’m fucking tired and you’re drunk” matt never liked to sort things out during a heated moment. he needed some time alone to align his thoughts and finally being able to solve the problem.
“i’m not drunk, matt. i had a couple drinks with your brother, that’s all”.
“and that explains how you end up grinding over some guy’s lap?” he asked me again, and now i was the one who didn’t want to keep on fighting.
“you know what? you’re right. it’s better if we go to bed. but i’m gonna go back to my fucking bed, at my fucking house” i said as i walked out, not bothering looking at his face. “so have a good night by yourself matthew, you ruined the whole night”.
i stopped by the sidewalk, trying to put myself together as tears began to form in my eyes. not only i was angry and disappointed at matt, but i had no one to take me back home since he’s been the one doing this for the past year. on top of that, the weather had completely changed and i was fucking freezing.
i heard the door unlocking and his steps getting closer, but i didn’t dare looking back.
“y/n, what the fuck are you doing? come inside” matt asked and i realized he had snapped out of it already. his voice was tender and full of emotion.
“no, i’m calling an uber”.
“babe” low blow. matt knows how much i like it when he calls me pet names. “it’s late. please come, it’s getting fucking cold here”.
“good” i turned without thinking and finally saw his face again. just like me, he had red cheeks and eyes filled with tears. “you should freeze to death”.
“yeah, i’ll keep that in mind” he smiled. “y/n i’m sorry. i’m sorry that i didn’t say to those girls i had a girlfriend and i’m sorry i raised my voice at you. i know i shouldn’t have done that, can you please forgive me? please?” matt looked at me with puppy eyes. “you don’t have to do it right now but at least get inside. i’ll drop you off in the morning after you rest and we’ll fix things up. please, babe”.
i nodded my head, agreeing silently - i wasn’t gonna say a word to him. i got back to the house and quickly went upstairs, making myself comfortable in his big bed. matt didn’t follow me, and though i wouldn’t lock the door on him, he knew he was going to sleep on the couch.
- ♡ -
i glanced at the nightstand clock, 3AM. i couldn’t fall asleep without matt. i missed his smell, his touch, his warmth, the way he’d let me rest my head over his chest while caressing my back or the days where he’d give up acting tough and giving in to my touch, deeply asleep while i kept running my fingers through his curls.
i went downstairs. i had to - my heart was as heavy as my eyes.
i saw matt all curled up on the plain couch, not having a blanket or a pillow. he hadn’t even changed his clothes, still wearing the same grey jeans and black shirt he went out with earlier.
i instinctively got closer and lied down with him, trying my best to not wake matt up. just being around him like this made me let out a long breathe, finally being able to relax.
“hm? babe?” he murmured, too sleepy to actually look at me.
“cant sleep without you. shut up”
“c’m here” matt opened his arms, allowing me to snuggle into him “are you still mad? i love you. love you so much”
i loved him even more. gosh, how much i love him.
i tried to get even closer to him, glueing our bodies together as my hand rested on his thigh. i couldn’t help but kiss his jaw, playfully biting all over him. he giggled softly, melting into my touch as i kept trailing down his neck with kisses.
as i reached his sweet spot, i noticed matt’s breath had gotten slower and heavier. he didn’t say anything - in fact, i don’t think he even bothered opening his eyes - but didn’t complain as i deepened my pecks, slowing sucking onto his pale skin.
of course i was gonna give matt a hickey. if he says i’m his, then i’ll show he’s also mine.
i slowly moved my hands to his waistband, altering between tickling his lower belly and teasing his boxers.
“y/n… fuck” matt mumbled.
“hm? want me to stop?” i asked just to make sure.
“n-no, don’t. i’m… getting hard” he stared at his pants before giving me puppy eyes once again.
“are you gonna be a good boy and behave for once, matt?”
“uhum. yes yes i will” matt started speaking mindlessly, agreeing with anything i'd tell him to do.
“yeah? gonna stop acting like you’re a tough guy?”
“y-you know that im not that tough…” he whispered shyly before looking away.
“you’re right. you’re just a silly boy, aren’t you matthew?” no response. “answer me.”
“y/n, please”
“please what?”
“please let me touch you” he leaned in, trying to kiss my lips. i didn't let him go any further than a peck. “need you so bad”.
“let me take care of you first, hm?” i asked, eventually getting a grip of his bulge over his pants.
“yes babe, fuck” he nodded frantically, eager for me to get him off.
“don’t you think it’s funny?” i said, adjusting myself on the sofa so i could finally unbutton his jeans. “few hours ago you were man enough to call me a slut”. i put my hands inside matt’s pants, palming his hardened cock through his boxers. i could feel a wet spot building up, letting me know his pre-cum was already leaking. “and now you can’t even say what you want?” i teased.
“wanna be good for you” he whimpered as i removed his last piece of cloth, freeing his dick out. matt’s hips bucked into the air, begging to get some friction. “please, please, i’ll behave! i promise i’ll be your good boy”, he cried. poor thing.
i went back to kissing matt while wrapping my fingers around his length, pumping him at a slow pace. i could hear his whines and the small moans he tried to cover by biting his own lips. i placed my thumb at his tip, circling it and spreading the pre-cum down his cock.
matt had gone even quieter, left arm covering half of his face as if he was too embarrassed to admit how much he needed my touch.
soon enough, i had fastened my pace and tightened my grip, his voice finally coming out “i’m gonna cum”.
“did you get permission?”, i asked. he knew how things worked.
“f-fuck y/n, please. wanna cum so bad” matt whimpered once again, cheeks as red as his tip.
“well, you weren’t being a good boy today. do you really think you deserve it?”
“im sorry ah-” he moaned loudly “please, wanna cum. wanna cum for you” he kept repeating over and over, suddenly replacing the words with babbles full of lewd sounds. i could tell how hard he was trying to not release, worried he’d wouldn’t be a good boy anymore.
“go on, baby boy. make a mess for me” it took matt just a few seconds to sputter his cum all over my hand with a loud cry, hips jointing forward during his orgasm. i kept on softly palming his cock as he came back from his high, trying my best to not overstimulate him.
“you're SO fucking good” matt groaned, eyes still closed. “oh” he noticed i had my hand full of his release, “can i make it up to you?”
i nodded and matt grabbed his jeans to clean us up in the sloppiest way i've ever seen. he pulled his boxers back up and got off the couch, leaving me with furrowed eyebrows as i tried to understand whatever he was planning to do. he then took his shirt off so i could see all the purple spots i've left throughout his neck and collarbone, throwing it somewhere and kneeling in front of me. fuck.
matt placed his hands by the sides of my legs and decided to rest his face on my thighs, deeply starring at me with those blue eyes that would drive me insane. he then placed his fingers on my waistband, teasing me in the same way i had done earlier. it didn’t took long until he realized i wasn't wearing any panties and the sweaters i had on were, in fact, his.
“no panties and you don't want me calling you a slut?” he asked before licking his lips.
“matt, be a good boy” i said, reminding him of what had just happened.
“well” he slowly started removing my pants. “i think you should learn how to be a good girl as well”.
i was now fully exposed and matt couldn't shut up about it “you're so fucking wet”, he'd say while placing kisses on the insides of my thighs. as he got closer to my crotch and his kisses turned into love bites, i lost my sense of control - we had the same power over each other, each one of us letting go of any and all armors during intimate moments like this one.
i couldn't help but forcing my hips down on him, whining as i felt his heavy breathing against my clit. matt smiled and looked at me before giving one long lick from my hole back to my clit, just like a kitten. i gasped when he started to swirl his tongue on me and my hands instinctively went to his fluffy hair, holding onto him as if my life depended on it.
i was already on the verge of releasing - anything from him would make me come right on the spot. matt kept on scratching my thighs and occasionally holding my hips to stop me from moving around so much.
“fuck babe, your pussy is so fucking pretty” he said as he moved to my entrance, teasing me with the tip of his tongue. my dripping wet cunt made it easier for matt to get in, and he already knew i was getting close as my pussy throbbed over his face.
not a single word came out of my mouth, the living room being filled with my high pitched whimpers when matt placed his thumb over my clit and played with it - while still eating me out.
“wanna taste you” he almost begged. “wasn't i your good boy? shouldn't you cum in my mouth as a reward?” he started sucking my clit and when my eyes met his, i was thrown off the edge. my orgasm crashed down on me, making my legs tremble as i kept on moaning, matt slowing driving me through it.
i came back to my senses and found matt looking so satisfied, as if he actually had an entire meal - swollen, wet lips, messy hair and the biggest smile on his face. he came closer to my face and allowed me to have a taste of myself in a lewd kiss, both of us acknowledging our fight was over.
“i love you so much”, he whispered. “i love you even more” i said, pulling him back up to the sofa and tangling my legs around his waist, letting his body collapse onto mine as we went on our way to finally get some sleep.
- ♡ -
#matt sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo x reader#matt x reader#matt x y/n#sub!matt#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo imagine#sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo
421 notes
·
View notes
Text
Lonely Christmas
Lando Norris x Fem!Reader
summary: Lando and Y/N decide that they want to play a prank on their fans and the rest of the grid by hinting at breaking up over X (twitter)
warnings: Cursing & “Cheating”
“hey babe, I have an idea.” I said with a smirk as I plopped myself on the bed next to my Formula 1 race winner boyfriend, Lando Norris.
“Oh no, this doesn’t sound good” Lando says chuckling as he props himself on his elbow to get a better view of me, before leaning down pressing a quick kiss to my lips
“mm, I think we should prank your fans and the grid.” I said with the biggest smile I’ve ever smiled in my life.
“and how do you suppose we do that, hmm?” Lando said, his eyes flickering between my eyes and my lips.
Sitting up and criss cross apple sauce, I stare into his soul “I think we should stage a twitter breakup,” I searched his face for some type of answer
“What? Is this a way of telling me you want to breakup without telling me you want to breakup?” He looks kinda hurt, which quickly prompts me to swing my legs over his body so i’m sitting on his lower torso.
“Absolutely not baby! i love you beyond the galaxy. I just think this would be funny,” i plead but Lando looks unsure “I’ll tell you what to say and all !”
“fine, but only if you let me eat you out, BUT you have to sit on my face” Lando knows I’m insecure about my weight and crushing him to death.
“oh! fine!!” I say plopping right off his body and landing on the bed with a huff. “so i’m gonna tweet something to indicate that we’re breaking up but not actually saying anything”
“and how are you gonna do that-” I quickly interrupt him
“make me cry” i say nonchalantly
“what?” Lando’s face reads 50 shades of Stunned “no, I promised you and your family that the one thing i’d NEVER do to you is make you cry.”
Hearing Lando admit that means the world to me, but i need him to stop being nice and make me cry. It doesn’t take much for me to cry and since Lando doesn’t want to make me cry, I’ll resort to the next best thing: thinking of my (very much alive) dog die.
Just a few seconds of thinking of my (breed/dog) die, the tears well up in my eyes and I let out a choked sob, before whipping my phone out and taking a picture before posting it on twitter with the caption
"nobody wants a lonely Christmas but I'm about to call it quits with you. Breaking up is at the top of my wishlist and baby you don't have a clue."
I flip my phone to show Lando with a smirk plastered on my face. "So, what'd ya think?" I question as I post it and wait a few seconds before twitter starts going absolutely nuts. " wait wait let me read you some of the comments I'm getting, 'slut4ln' says 'NO MOM AND DAD PLEASE STOP FIGHTING' haha look, here's another 'mother/n' said 'mother always knows wtf is up, Lando Norris count your days' !!" the chuckles leaving my lips are loud
"I think that I don't know how to respond to that on twitter," Lando says with a faint chuckle "here, how about you take my phone, type out what you want me to say and then let me read it before posting it." a smirk evident on his face as he hands me his phone, before putting said hand on my thigh, rubbing it up and down.
"What about this...?" I question as I'm typing
"You say our relationships fading and you've been thinking bout leaving and though I know it's the truth I just don't want to believe it. You've gotta be kidding me, are we really breaking up? We just picked out a tree, damn."
"Okay Y/N/N lets give it a second to spread, we have to get juicy comments before we keep going, oh. never mind. George is texting me asking me what the fuck I did and why am I arguing twitter about it"
"fuck it, ignore him. we need to make this believable." I say swiping George's message away. "Opinion on this?"
"wait wait, let me tweet something else before you tweet y/n/n. Here, read this"
"You haven't even left yet and I miss you. I was looking forward to the holidays with you. How could you do this on Christmas, girl that's so malicious? C'mon baby, please don't make me beg cause I can go and date your friend instead. Yeah, I'll put the nut in meg. But If you're thinking about leaving, then I already blew it. screw it, then I guess I'll have to beat you to it, bitch."
"OKAYYYY LANDOOOO LET ME STEP UP MY GAME!!!" I scream as I finished reading his reply after he hit tweet bouncing up and down on the bed in excitement.
"okay, okay what about this for me?" I question as I finish typing, turning my phone so Lando can read what I typed.
"I tell you I love you but I don't really mean it, cause after this Christmas sorry but I'm leaving you."
"I'm starting to feel like you're just soft launching a break up with us right now" Lando says "Why else would you gave suggested a fake twitter break up?"
"Baby, please. This is just for shits and giggles. AHH OH MY GOSH!! OSCAR'S CALLING ME" I screamed in panic as I declined the call. "Lando, I think you need to eat me up in the twitter beef again, put your pretty head to work and think of some insults for me."
"I'm almost done, but first I got a question. Why is it one week before Christmas you feel the need to mention a break up with me is in the process but still pending? Is it depending on your gift and what I'm spending? Or are you fishing for more compliments? Because to my astonishment, you're acting like little kid. Was it something I said?Sometimes my head stops thinking, when I say some stupid shit to you, you know I don't mean it, it's just the season, it's confusing, can we just get along?"
"LANDO MY COMMENTS ARE GOING CRAZYYYY! LOOK" I giggle in excitement as I flip my phone so he can scroll through the comments
slut4ln: MOM AND DAD PLEASE STOP! CHRISTMAS IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER AND I CAN'T DEAL WITH A DIVORCE RN
georgeswhore: I wake up from a nap to SEE THESE?!?!?!?!
leclercsgf: What the absolute fuck did they fight about that THEYRE BEEFING ON TWITTER FOR AND AIRING OUT A POTENTIAL BREAKUP???
>y/nforpresident: potential? honey I think they are done
Landoslefttoe: Lando kinda ate mom up though 😭😭
LewisHamilton: Answer your fucking phones now!
CharlesLeclerc: LANDO?? YOU CALL YOUR GIRLFRIEND "BITCH"??
CarlosSainz: Cabron, call me asap and fill me in
LoganSargeant: Does this mean I actually have a chance with Y/n?
"I'm choosing to ignore Logan's comment," Lando said flipping my phone back so I could read it. "When are we gonna go public and say it was a prank?" Lando asks as he readjusts himself on the bed, pulling me down and closer to him so we're cuddling
"We can tell them all tomorrow" I yawn as I cuddle closer to my boyfriend "goodnight handsome"
"Goodnight precious" lando whispers as he kisses my temple
<333333
idk what this is but 🎀😗
@luckyladycreator2 @itsmiamalfoy @jeffs77 @ilivbullyingjeongin @forevercaffeinated-lee @daemyratwst @gulphulp @callsignwidow @f1wintermoon13 @teenwolf01 @victoriassecret101.
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSesvRpKqBaYY-Ow5IgHoD0gSX6OzJ03qGMXOhHUI6Xg1wfKaA/viewform.
#f1#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#formula 1#formula one#lando norris#lewis hamilton#prank#lando norris fanfic#lando norris imagine#lando norris smut#lando x reader#mclaren#charles leclerc#f1 smau#f1 smut#mercedes#logan sargent fluff#logan sargeant
378 notes
·
View notes
Note
Would I be the asshole if I refused to pay my phone bill?
📱🧾♿️ <- To recognize my post for later :)
The title is probably already a bit of a red flag, but I genuinely didn’t know how else to word it…
For context: I am a disabled, chronically and mentally ill trans guy who recently turned 20. I haven’t left home yet for a lot of reasons, some being that my parents promised to let me live rent-free so long as I was in college (which I am, just not currently for the summer) as well as the fact that they really haven’t raised me to be very independent and rely solely on them (which is honestly a whole other can of worms), but primarily because of my disability. It isn’t safe for me to live on my own, as I faint commonly, cannot stand up for more than maybe fifteen minutes at a time roughly, and sometimes am unable to eat for long periods of time due to debilitating nausea which leads to weakness. I also have severe chronic pain in my limbs and gut, something I’ve had most of my life, while my chronic illness I’ve only had for about a year and a half now and am still struggling to adjust to.
Because of my disability, I also can’t work a traditional job. I offer art commissions online, because I’m very passionate about art and it’s one of the few things I’m good at, and I haul in a decent amount, but certainly not enough to live off of. I make enough to set aside some good savings (I’m currently saving for a wheelchair, as that might grant me more freedom and the potential to get a job at least for the summer) while also indulging myself in buying the occasional fatty treat (I’m very underweight so that’s not an issue, and I was raised essentially in an almond mom household all my life, so this form of eating is really the only sense of control I have over my life, as I’m fully dependent on my parents elsewise).
The issue has come upon relatively recently. I feel like a huge entitled brat for it as well, and if others believe the same, I sincerely don’t blame you.
My mom sat me down the other day and said that she expected me to start paying at least one bill. She offered my cheapest bill (which would be for my phone; my parents bought it, and it’s theirs, they’re just letting me use it as my own.. I don’t own a whole lot of “my” items myself) and asked what I thought about that. I was fully honest with her: if I had a steady stream of income, I wouldn’t hesitate to offer to pay for all of my bills, but with the way it stands, I just don’t make enough month-to-month to regularly afford the bill. I also do my commissions through my phone, so if I could afford the bill, my phone would be turned off, and I’d be unable to continue.
My mom got very upset and started talking to me like a child (though she really has every right to, honestly, and I know that). She went on a very long rant about teaching me responsibility, and how I can’t rely on my parents forever, and that I need to grow up at some point… All things that I fully agree with. I sincerely want to! I want nothing more than to be fully independent. But the way it stands, my parents cover my entire medical bills and they pay for my meds… And I just don’t make enough to survive on my own, and I can just barely afford a meal or two from a sandwich shop I enjoy twice a month to keep my sanity in check because I’m usually bedbound.
I tried explaining to her that I would if I could, sincerely, and that I’m not trying to be a leech or lazy, but she wasn’t having it. She just scolded me and said that if I can afford to eat out every month, then I can afford the phone bill. But again, with the way things are, I don’t think I’d be able to do it every month without tapping into my savings, which again, is for my wheelchair so I can regain some sense of freedom for myself. I’m seriously debating just telling her no straight out, but I don’t know what the aftermath might look like…
So, sincerely: Am I in the wrong here? Should I just swallow my protests and cough up the money somehow? I really don’t know and would love an outside perspective.
230 notes
·
View notes
Note
you said u read ao3 fics! what are your f1 recs?
ahhh!!!!! this is the best question you could have ever asked me like ever i love you so much. i’ve been dying to talk abt this for a hot minute. i opened myself up to any sort of ship mostly because i cared more abt the fic quality then the ship you know? kinda glad i did it because my fav ones are not necessarily ships i am a fan of. it’s really long so i put it under a read more!!
okay so number one has to be the fic that was my first fav f1 fic. this is steal the air out of my lungs (make me feel it). now this has a lot of elements that i love. guy who’s in his own head vs other guy who’s also in his own head but pretends he isn’t. also idk why but i’m always a sucker for a good medical au and this one fucking delivers!!! another maxiel fic i read was three rounds and a sound which has coffee shop owner daniel w/ stressed out student max. a lot of introspection but it’s also unfolding while the romance is. idk i just love this. it’s so good. last maxiel fic is come on, star boy which is a alt universe where daniel is the american guy he always wanted to be and max is the new transfer to his small town’s football team. it isn’t just incredibly written but everyone feels so real and vivid. i can visually see this in my mind everytime i read it. i listened to a lot of ethel cain while reading so that helped. i love this so much and the brocedes in the background?? you’ll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves youuu 🗣️
i’m not really a landoscar girl, i’m gonna be honest. however, where i am going is right where i am, is just incredible. alt universe where the drivers live on a street version of stars hollow? brocedes that influence everything even though they’re long over? charles being insane over max? pierre hating on esteban every second that is possible (i was laughing every time he would just cuss his ass out unprovoked) and annoying george being their street’s version of gilmore girls’ taylor?? what more do u need in ur life?? also oscar in this fic is just my dream man. i think a croissant from him would fix me. actually i read a lot of this author’s landoscar fics and they’re so cute i was sending kudos as much as i can. like almost home! just want to bite them both and put them in my pocket. they’re so obviously in love i want to shake them down and scream and smoosh them together. lawyer!oscar i love you. check out their profile!! incredible writer :)))
i’m also not a galex truther but the two of us, in sympathy is so cute!! rich boy!george with broke junior doctor!alex. george attempting to court alex and just absolutely failing. i love it. they’re such a mess i need them in my life. also this loscar future fic is so intense but incredible. i’m really bad at describing but i binged it on my train home and i was really glad i did - i promised to forget you now.
the reason i even got into f1 aka brocedes. this fic i think was one of the first i read. on the faultline which is just amazing. i can’t recommend it enough. read it if u can. another fav is a brocedes threesome with their toxic fucking each other via proxy aka new money, and it’s all cash. cute brocedes!! nico thinks lewis is his sworn enemy but everyone knows otherwise. roseberg’s vs haminkton. this was so cute and funny. cause why was nico saying lewis, the owner of a tattoo shop was stealing business from him… when he owns a florists… he’s so dramatic i want to tuck him in my pocket. this job will take my sole has the same premise but they’re both shoe shops which makes a lot more sense. i just love stupid rivalries and dramatic nico.
now back to my sweethearts, the lights of my life, the fires of my heart - sewis. all of these fics have past brocedes just for context. every tongue should confess talks about religion and queer identity in such a nuanced and delicate way? i adored this fic. transmotion which is another alt universe with fashion designer!lewis and footballer!sebastian both figuring out their careers, themselves and their relationship. maybe together we can get somewhere - this is an mpreg fic which usually isn’t for me but it’s about seb and lewis going on a road trip for an abortion and it’s so good. honestly the ending line of ‘it’s a good feeling, to know that sebastian’s outstretched hand is right there.’ it just stuck with me. i loved it. the numbering at bethlehem which is thee sewis fic to me. professor au?? this was made for me. like perfectly moulded. everything about this is art. i could do a full essay on this fic. just read it, it’s incredible. just amazing. sebastian as the child prodigy who has nowhere else to climb?? i love them both in this fic so much!!! tnab sewis get behind me!! i’m gonna protect u!!
okay i’m sorry this is so long. i just love art. i love writing. i just love the work these authors’ have spent putting together these masterpieces for free!! check them out!! leave kudos!! comment!! <3
#im always open to new recs!!! :D#and if u read these and wanna chat abt any - my asks are always open :D#ao3 fic recs#sewis#maxiel#landoscar#brocedes#anon ask
94 notes
·
View notes
Text
older part 3
think i need someone older, just a little bit colder, take the weight off your shoulders
synopsis: your friends say you're delusional for thinking you have a chance with jungkook, your parents' friends' son, but you just can't seem to let him go.
alternatively, you break jungkook's heart and jungkook enlists in the army to get over you--- but he can't just fuck off from your life forever; your lives are infinitely intertwined
word count: 21k
pairing: older!jk x afab reader
genre: age gap au (seven years), childhood acquaintance au, fluff, comedy, angsty, outta pocket, alludes to sexual innuendoes, there is a mention of jungkook shooting someone lol, non explicit smut, mentions of sex
OLDER MASTERLIST
PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3
When it comes to you, Jungkook’s window of tolerance extends towards the sun and the stars, to Jupiter and Saturn, if you will. For you, he’ll willingly undertake deeds he won’t even entertain for anyone else.
Anything for you. Whenever and wherever.
He will, in fact, swoop in and rescue you from a 2AM party (like the Prince Charming he is), even if it means disrupting his beauty sleep because as much as likes your friends, he doesn’t trust them to take you home safely, especially when alcohol is involved. Scratch that, he doesn’t really trust anybody to take you home besides himself. Even with work the next day, the appeal of sleep drowns when you’re drunkenly texting him from some frat mansion at who knows where.
Approximately 10% of his biweekly earnings are devoted to you, his princess. He would never utter these sentiments aloud, yet he embraces them willingly, indulging in gestures of affection reserved solely for you.
He’s not afraid to wipe your tears, stick his fingers into your nose, or to touch any bodily fluid (given that it comes from you), because it’s you and his being simply isn’t capable of conjuring feelings of disgust when it’s you.
He sees you and he loves you, but a man can only take so much.
“What?” you ask quietly, breathless, like the wind’s been knocked from your lungs.
Jungkook exhales deeply, straightening his posture as he runs his hands across his face. “Y/N. Get out of my apartment. I’m serious.”
You think that this is the first time in the history of the world Jungkook has straight up told you to leave.
“Why?”
“Why?” Jungkook repeats, “What do you mean, why? You ignored me for four months straight. Thanks for spending the night, but you need to leave.”
Jungkook, just a man though he may be, is simply incapable to resist when you show up at his doorstep in the dead of the night- and even if he welcomes you into his home for the last time, he simply isn’t able to welcome you back into his heart. How could he willingly allow you to reclaim his heart’s residence after he’s worked so hard to expel you from its throne?
Your blatant disregard for his presence spoke volumes; you didn’t care for him nor did you respect him. Jungkook isn’t going to fold simply because he finds you beautiful and perfect and amazing and everything he’s ever wanted.
“So that’s all I am to you? A quick fuck?”
All the empathy he harbors disperses from his being like a passing breeze, ephemeral and elusive. Evidently, you’ve crossed the line.
Jungkook blinks at you, his expression unreadable, while you inwardly recoil, immediately regretting your words. Jungkook won’t even entertain the notion. He knows you know how much you mean to him, and quite frankly, he’s appalled that you’re blatantly weaponizing something as pure as his love.
“Y/N, I’m not going to see my family in a year, and you came to my place and made it all about yourself. You need to go,” Jungkook’s voice is firm and low, and he looks right at you, disappointment reflected in his pupils.
“I didn’t mean to make it about myself. I just wanted to see you,” You try so desperately hard to rationalize, but he’s right; you weren’t thinking about him, you were thinking about yourself.
“And by doing that, you made it about yourself-” Jungkook rubs his face with his palms, “Y/N. I don’t want to fight. Just go home.”
He hears a gentle sniffle escape you, and it elicits a heavy sigh from Jungkook. It's like a tug at his heartstrings, but he’s already beyond frustrated, and at this point, he wants to be alone.
“Jungkook, I-I love you,” you whisper, “I’m sorry. If I’m better by the time you come back, will you give me a chance?”
As you raise your head, tears cascading down your cheeks, Jungkook's heart clenches at the sight. Jungkook hates seeing you cry, and it makes his heart physically ache, but there will be no appeal to his emotions.
“Y/N- I mean- did you think I was gonna wait forever? You can’t treat a man like that and expect them to wait around forever.”
“But we had sex,” you counter, “The way you fucked me- I know you still love me- so please. I’ll be better. I’ll be better for you. Please,” you beg.
Jungkook exhales softly, leaning into the support of the wall behind him. He remains stoic, neither affirming nor refuting your observation. He offers no gesture of consolation, no attempt to dry your tears.
“Go home.”
If he doesn't want you there, then you’ll leave. Clumsily, you stand up from the bed, picking your clothes up from the ground before haphazardly slipping into them, leaving yourself vulnerable under Jungkook’s gaze.
He doesn’t walk you out.
You open the door and slam it closed before he can let another word out.
-
Jungkook has always been a constant presence in your life, like the warmth of the sun on a chilly morning.
He’s very aware of the image you have of him in your cute little head, and he does everything he can to fulfill that image for you. He’s well aware of your little prince charming fantasies revolving around him, and truly, truly does everything to be your Prince Charming.
He’ll indulge you, always- to the extent where Mingyu and Taehyung constantly throw the term “sugar daddy” around- and of course Jungkook will roll his eyes, but he won’t deny it.
Jungkook has dropped thousands on you. He’s a single man in his 20’s with way too much money, anyways. So what was he supposed to do? Let all his money sit in his 401K to ensure that he’s financially secure for retirement (🙄) or buy you an unnecessarily expensive designer dress and observe how your face lights up?
Obviously, he’ll choose the latter.
Simultaneously, that doesn’t mean you don’t make him feel the same way. This is so corny, but you’re kind of like the rainbow after a storm, bringing color back to his otherworldly, gloomy world.
Jungkook’s not perfect. Despite what you think, he’s far from perfect.
About half a year ago, he thought he hit rock bottom. And when he hit rock bottom, all he needed was you to remedy his mood.
There was an issue at work where he was accused of leaking confidential information to a competitor. The accusations were baseless, but the damage to his reputation was significant. It felt like his entire world was crumbling around him. He faced scrutiny from his colleagues and doubt from his superiors.
After an excruciating meeting with the company lawyers, he drove back to his mom’s place- his mood as dark as the night enveloping his luxury car. All he wanted was his mommy. He was a 25 year old grown ass man, but all he wanted was his mommy.
As he bursts through the front doors, the familiar scent of his mother's cooking greets his nostrils, wrapping him in a sense of comfort and the feeling of home. He heads towards the kitchen, until he walks into something…
You yelp, rubbing your hand over your forehead.
“Oh shit,” Jungkook mumbles, “My bad, baby. Didn’t see you” Jungkook says apologetically, placing his hands on your shoulders to stabilize you. His eyes glaze over your frame, and he smiles.
You’re in boyshorts and a tank top. Typically of you to treat his parents’ place like it was your own; you’re family anyways.
Jungkook whizzes past you, setting his work backpack on the kitchen counter. You follow him back into the kitchen, attending to the steak being grilled on the stovetop. You whirl around to face him, a mischievous smile spreading across your lips.
“You look… handsome,” you finally say.
Jungkook stares incredulously at you before he bursts into a smile at your anticss. “Oh really? You like me in business formal?”
You clasp your palms behind your back and shift your weight between your ankles. “Maybe?” you sheepishly respond, in your typical girlish nature.
Jungkook bites back a laugh, looking at you smugly. “Where’s mom?”
You shrug, “She’s probably with her second boyfriend,” you teasingly muse, lips pouted out before you turn around to perceive his reaction.
Jungkook scoffs at you amusedly before standing up to walk towards you. You smile sheepishly at him, not backing down when he practically towers over you. He pinches your cheek affectionately. “You’re cute, baby,” he jokes, and it makes your heart clench- not in a good way- because he means you’re cute… like a literal infant baby or a puppy, not a woman.
“Did my mom call you over?” he asks, rummaging through the fridge.
You nod, “Mm-hmm. She said she had to go run some errands so she wanted me to make you dinner,” you motion towards the steak sizzling in its pan. “Rare, just how you like it! Ta-da!”
He gazes at you with an affectionate smile. “Thanks. Did you drive here or do I need to drop you off?”
You make a pssh sound with your lips, dismissing the notion with a wave, “I’ve been driving for like two years,” you state matter-a-factly, throwing up a gyaru sign because why not, “I can drive home just fine.”
“Alright, yea,” Jungkook acquiesces, putting his hands up, “You’re all grown up- I get it, I get it.”
“Good,” you respond, plating his steak before handing it to him, “But Jungkook, why are you back home? You usually don’t come home on work nights.”
Jungkook settles at the dining table, before he looks at you and sighs. You tilt your head, very cognizant of his body language. You’re in love with him, of course you can read all his nonverbal cues.
“Just some shit at work,” he explains, “Has me stressed out of my mind.”
You pout, approaching him before you wrap and arm around his shoulder. The moment feels oddly intimate- like he’s returned to his two-story, middle-class home to his wife cooking up a home-made dinner, her touch everything he needs to bring him down from a stressful day at work. He swears he can even hear the kids crying from upstairs.
“Wanna talk about it?” you beckon with your sweet voice.
“Just been accused of some shit,” he mumbles, “Some illegal shit,” he adds, and you rest your head on his shoulder, making him freeze slightly and his chest tighten.
“Don’t worry,” you sweetly comfort, “The truth will always be revealed, and you’ll be cleared eventually. And besides, you’re young, rich, and hot. As long as you know who you are, you don’t need to worry about others.”
Jungkook’s brows furrow slightly before he relaxes his expression. What a juvenile, yet straightforward outlook on life. So simple, yet so… brilliant?
Jungkook knows that you’re more than capable of understanding the complex intricacies of the professional world, but he finds solace in its simplicity as a counterbalance to his excruciating overthinking.
He sighs blissfully, turning towards you. “Give me a hug, baby. I need a hug.”
You nod sweetly and wrap your arms around him. “Of course. Call me any time if you want a hug.”
-
You coming on to him the night before enlistment was his last opportunity to indulge in you, and he’s only just a man- a weak, weak man, so it’s simply in his nature to succumb to your allure.
Jungkook is now bald, devoid of any hair. Gone with his hair is his sense of confidence. Staring at his reflection, he runs a hand over his bald head, his mood becoming despondent.
One hour ago, you slammed his front door, scurrying down the stairs with tears cascading down your cheeks. Jungkook doesn’t like seeing you cry; he hates seeing you cry- but it’s time to let go and live.
The most daunting aspect of dating with an age-gap is the maturity discrepancy. Like two ships sailing different seas, Jungkook has sailed through weathered storms while your sail catches the wind of youthful possibility.
This discrepancy manifests through communication styles, lifestyle choices, and most importantly, love languages.
You would never, ever do anything to hurt him purposely- but you did.
Nonetheless, what was Jungkook supposed to expect? Undeniably, he loves you with everything in him but was he supposed to expect you to handle things with the maturity of someone his age?
He should’ve known, and for that, he feels dumb.
Feels dumb and like an idiot because you used to cartwheel in his room trying to get his attention. Feels dumb because when you were 11, he was already 18– like, what the fuck is that age gap?
What was he supposed to expect? You lost both of your parents at the same time when you were 20 years old. You’re traumatized, you’re young, and he kinda feels like he took advantage of your juvenile feelings for him- but no, a love like his is pure, and he wants nothing but the best for you, which is why he’s going to let go.
The wind from a slightly ajar window brushes, spreading the hair around the floor and suddenly glitter comes to mind.
Glitter. Sparkles. Fairy Dust.
When you were a senior in high school, Jungkook bought you a prom dress. Your bum ass boyfriend (or situationship- he doesn’t know. He wants to burn the memory of all men who you’ve been with before him) didn’t even want to go to prom with you, and Jungkook, as the great “mom’s friend’s son” he was, offered to buy you a dress- no budget.
-
Jungkook dropped by your place to drop off some sticky rice, as instructed by his mother; he was a good and obedient son. He knew your parents were at Zumba, so he sent you a quick text in advance. You always responded to his texts immediately, promptly, instantly, right away, and without delay.
You can only imagine Jungkook’s apprehension when it’s been thirty minutes and you still haven’t come to the door.
Normally, Jungkook would have been annoyed to wait this long for you, but he’s actually concerned– because what if you were lying dead in a ditch somewhere? Okay, maybe he shouldn’t go to such extremes, but you were undeniably a gorgeous girl, recently 18, and he knew that so many men had their eyes on you.
Not him, though. He was a gentleman.
Jungkook swings open the door of his car, swiftly walking towards your front door. On cue, the outer door swings open, and you’re standing apprehensively, struggling to unlock the screen door because the fucking lock always gets jammed. The lock just won’t budge and after a good second of trying, you bang your fist against the door, yelling a very non-intimidating “Fuck!”
Jungkook smiles, “Twist the door knob, then try the lock,” he gently instructs. You oblige, and the screen door swings open.
“I’ll come back tomorrow to fix that,” he adds before walking towards your kitchen to place the sticky rice into the fridge.
“Thanks,” you mumble, taking a seat at the dining table.
Jungkook glances back at you from the fridge, “Why’d you cry?”
The question is asked with a subtle casualty, and that makes you want to actually go curl into a ditch and die.
To Jungkook, it was painfully obvious. He’s known you since forever and has all your mannerisms ingrained into his mind like a tattoo. Usually, when you wake up, you’re quite lethargic, stumbling around with your eyes half cracked open- but right now, you’re cognizant as ever.
Furthermore, when you cry, your eyes usually swell up- more so than the average person. After you cry, it’s like your eyes turned into little, red, puffy balls with slits for seeing. And Jungkook had eyes, superb vision, actually, and he could clearly see that your eyes were in fact, swollen.
“t’s nothing,” you mumble, “It’s stupid.”
Jungkook purses his lips, contemplating whether he should push further. Your big mouth keeps going before he can get a word out.
“Well, if I tell you, promise not to judge me?” you ask, sticking out your pinky finger.
Jungkook locks the promise in. “Never,” he breathes.
“Well… it’s just… you know…”
Jungkook raises a brow.
“I just… I hate my boobs.”
Jungkook blinks at you, and you blink at him.
“You said you weren’t going to judge me!”
Jungkook is absolutely flabbergasted. “I just- wait-” he pauses, putting his hands up, “What’s wrong with your boobs? They look normal to me.”
Your features contort into petulance, and you pout. Immediately, you rise, wiping the dust off your shorts before you divulge into the full story. Jungkook can only sit there and listen.
“Okay, listen. Let me start from the beginning,” you start, pacing around, “So I ordered two prom dresses,” you explain, making a peace sign with your hands.
“And they looked so good on the models, but they look horrible on me! Because my boobs are so small and my body looks imbalanced! So I cried about it. I just wanted to feel pretty…. Do you think my parents will be mad at me if I get my tits done?”
Jungkook blinks at you. At the time, he hadn’t a clue of how to respond, but oh how he grew to love your boobs. In fact, he currently wishes that they were swinging in his face.
“Y/N, don’t get a boob job,” is the first thing he says.
What else could he say? He couldn’t tell you that he thinks your body is perfect, or that you’d look stunning in any dress you wear- he did not want to creep you out. “Lemme see you try the dresses,” he offers, “You’re probably in your head- it can’t be that bad.”
“I’m 18,” you counter, “It’s completely legal for me to get a boob job. I don’t even want D’s! I think I would be okay with B’s. In fact, all I need to do is sell a couple feet pictures and I’d have enough to finance my boob job-”
“Y/N. Just try on the dress.”
“Fine,” you huff, puffing up the stairs.
A few moments later, you reappear, and Jungkook almost chokes on his own saliva. The dress you're wearing captures his attention entirely. Its fabric shimmers under the kitchen light, a juxtaposition against the bland interior, cascading in gentle folds as it hugs your curves delicately. With each step, the skirt sways gently, whispering secrets of a night yet to unfold.
Gorgeous. Stunning. Most beautiful girl he���s ever seen, and he recalls the pang of guilt that washed over him, because you’re seven years younger, and it feels wrong, incongruous.
Fortunately for him, Jungkook is great at hiding his emotions, so even a slightly suspicious clearing of the throat does nothing to phase you.
You pause, blinking at him, and he blinks back at you.
“I told you it was bad!-”
“Wait, no. Stop. It’s not bad…” Jungkook offers.
You blink at each other again.
“Oh, you fucking liar!” you scoff.
“What?” Jungkook retorts, features morphing into confusion, “Why would I lie? I always just say whatever I want to say.“
You groan, plopping onto the dining room table with your arms crossed. “You don’t know anything about prom dresses,” you mutter.
This marked the first time Jungkook perceived you as a woman. He spent a year suppressing it all because of the guilt, but it became inevitable. It bubbled up and exploded; he couldn’t contain it anymore.
“Well…” he started, every so carefully pulling his wallet from his pocket, using two fingers to take out his credit card, “Would it make you feel better if I bought you another one? One more suitable for… flatter chests?”
You gasped like you’d never breathed air before, jumping to your feet, “Really? Would you really do that?!”
Jungkook shrugged casually, did everything to mask his thunderous heartbeat banging in his chest, “Yea, why not? I have money.”
At that, you squealed, jumping on both feet before you absolutely enveloped him in a hug.
Still staring at his reflection, Jungkook returns to Earth. You’re so childish and dumb, but he can’t help that he’s deeply enamored with you, and because of that, he’s going to go to the military and pretend like he never existed in the first place.
-
In the first few weeks at the military, Jungkook finds the distance more excruciating than he had when you ignored him. He enlisted in the first place to get his mind off you, to learn to live without you, but you’re the only person on his mind.
It certainly doesn’t help that he’s carrying a locket bearing your image, but he can’t bring himself to throw it out. He doesn’t even know why he has it in the first place, or why he had it custom made; he feels obsessive but whenever Jungkook’s on his last lap, his last pushup, or his last pullup, you’re the thought to propel him forward.
The military barracks are cold, dusty, and lonely. Sometimes, he can’t sleep, and on those restless nights, he finds himself reaching for the locket. Staring at the image of you smiling back at him, it’s like a tangible reminder of something he can’t quite explain.
He holds the locket in his hand, tracing the edges with its fingertips. He remembers your touch, your warmth, the way your hand fits perfectly in his.
True loser behavior.
You ignored him for fucking months, didn’t care how he was doing, or if he were laying dead in a ditch, yet he still loves you, still clings onto you. If he didn’t enlist, he probably would’ve ran back to you the moment you showed up at his place.
If anything, you’re not the type of girl who should be in a locket. You’re immature, childish, and rude, but he holds the locket close to his heart, because quite frankly, he hears how the men in the military speak about women, and he would never ever subject you to that.
Some guys hang up cute pictures and polaroids of their girlfriends on the bunks, which would almost immediately be thrown into the trash because of the insane comments from the (obviously single) guys.
Jungkook deems running as the most arduous drill in boot camp.
Jungkook can do three or five miles easily, but twelve miles with gear on? Absolutely not. What makes it worse is when the other guys try to make small talk- wasn’t running excruciating enough?
Even on the eighth mile, Jungkook clutches the locket tightly in his grasp. The sensation burning in his abs is borderline excruciating, and he opens the locket to glimpse at your image
James, the absolute deviant of the 8th squad, approaches Jungkook from the rear. “Who’s that, Jeon?” James asks.
Jungkook squeezes his eyes shut; this is the last thing he wanted. He says nothing, slightly accelerating in speed.
As James draws nearer, his tone dripping with mockery, Jungkook's muscles tense with apprehension.
"Come on, Jeon, spill it," James prods, a sly grin spreading across his face. "Who's the lucky lady in the locket?"
Jungkook's jaw clenches, his grip on the locket tightening. He knows the implications of revealing your identity in this environment, where vulnerability is exploited and secrets are ammunition.
"Just keep running," Jungkook retorts, his voice strained with suppressed frustration. Running 12 miles with 50 pounds of gear was already hell, why was he trying to pick a fight?
But James persists, matching Jungkook's stride with unsettling ease. "Oh, come on, Jeon, don't be shy," he taunts, edging closer. "Is she the reason you're always off in your own world during training?"
A surge of anger pulses through Jungkook's veins, his resolve fraying under James's relentless scrutiny. He fights to keep his emotions in check, knowing that any sign of weakness could be exploited.
With a steely gaze, Jungkook halts abruptly, turning to face James with a glare. "Back off, James," he warns, his voice laced with a dangerous edge, before he returns to his usual stride.
James's grin widens, sensing Jungkook's vulnerability. "Someone’s sensitive,” James teases, “Scared your girl’s with the mailman right now?”
Jungkook’s features harden, and he continues onto the ninth mile. His feet ache, and the mud is starting to seep into his socks. Jungkook opens his mouth to say something, but he’s cut off by Wooseok, who comes to his defense.
Wooseok bumps shoulder with James from behind. “Chill, James. He’s got her in a locket. Better not mess with that.”
-
Jungkook hates to admit it, but James got to his head.
Jungkook knows he’s the one who let you go, and that there’s no winning in this situation, but he’s selfish and the thought of you with another man makes him physically ill. Had it been any other girl, he would immediately lose interest the moment he discovered she was messing around with others- but the thought of you with someone else physically hurts.
He doesn’t have much access to his phone, and there’s nothing to take his mind off it.
There’s that taboo story about men in the military getting cheated on. It's a tale as old as time.
The fear of infidelity hangs over these soldiers constantly- but you’re not even his girlfriend.
So if you were to move on, there wouldn’t be a thing wrong with that.
Isn’t that what he wanted? For you to find happiness with someone your own age? Someone you would love, not just be infatuated with.
But fuck, why does it makes his heart swell? The thought of another man seeing you, feeling you, and touching you the way he has, the way he should be, makes him ill.
-
You know you said you were going to change, and you’re really, really trying. It’s been one month since your last encounter with Jungkook and you think things are taking an upward trajectory.
For one, you’ve started your internship with the local bank, and you’re making a lot of money (to your standards), definitely not a lot to someone like Jungkook, but it’s good enough for you. Since summer hit, you’ve retaken some of the classes you failed, and your GPA has now returned to the 3.0 range.
However, that doesn’t mean that your obsession with Jungkook has dwindled in the slightest. You’re childish in a sense, and you’re kind of taking advantage of your relationship with his parents to see what he’s up to at all times.
You’re snooping over Jungkook’s mother’s shoulder like the nosy girl you are, and you scandalously gasp at Jungkook’s text.
“Haha yea, Y/N looks pretty” is probably the most disingenuous thing he’s ever said about you.
Like sure, whatever, he’s calling you pretty but he’s only saying it because his mom asked him whether he thinks you’re pretty in the first place.
Your eyes continue skimming down the phone and you see something that makes your jaw drop to your ass
Jungkook’s mother shuts her phone off and squeals. “Oh Y/N! I can’t wait for Jungkookie to get married! I want grandbabies already, she pouts.
It’s like a punch to the gut. The thought of another girl walking down the aisle to marry Jungkook makes you sick to your stomach. It makes you so jealous you can’t fathom it. It's a visceral reaction, a knot tightening in your stomach as jealousy courses through your veins, clouding your thoughts and stirring emotions you never knew existed.
Every detail of the imagined scene plays out in your mind like a cruel movie reel, tormenting you with the painful reality of what could be.
With a forced smile, you manage to utter, "That's great, Mrs. Jeon. I'm sure Jungkook will make a wonderful husband one day."
-
Jungkook’s friends, in fact, do not hate you.
Actually, they’re quite nice and understanding of the situation at hand. Maybe it’s the fact that you shoved meat down their throats before explaining how you actually felt, or because you were somewhat valid in your decision to not acknowledge Jungkook’s existence for four months.
“He’s probably not mad at you,” Mingyu reasons, toying with the hem of his beanie before shoving a piece of beef into his mouth, “I don’t think he has the capacity to be angry at-”
Taehyung furrows his brows and Mingyu continues his sentiment, “at Y/N,” Mingyu clarifies, “He’d never be mad at Y/N.”
You sigh, using your chopsticks to flip some meat over, “He kicked me out of his apartment,” you express.
“No,” Taehyung contests, “You chose to move out, didn’t you?”
You chew on your lip apprehensively, suddenly finding the need to rake your fingers through your hair, “Yea, but I spent the night before he enlisted and he kicked me out in the morning.”
Taehyung pauses, exchanging glances with Mingyu. “By spend the night, you mean…?”
“Yes, I mean,” you confirm, “I just don’t want him to hate me. I know I fucked up, but I would never do anything to hurt him on purpose. I mean- not to use it as an excuse- but my parents’ suddenly died in a fucking car accident? Am I supposed to be normal after that? I didn’t mean to hurt him, I just couldn’t at the time, and I’m not sure if I can, at all.”
Mingyu purses his lips, “I just think he- you know- was super heartbroken. Y/N, Jungkook really loves you, and by love I mean that you’re probably the only girl he will ever love. He probably just needed time to process everything too,” he says gently, reaching out to give your hand a brotherly squeeze.
“You made him cry,” Taehyung asserts, and you pause.
“Seriously?”
Taehyung’s lips form into a straight line and he shrugs, “You made him cry. Showed up at my place in the middle of the night drunk and in tears over you.”
At that, you sink into the leather seat. Cry? You’ve known Jungkook since you were born and you’ve never seen him cry before.
You bang your head against the table- a little too hard- and you yelp in pain , clutching your forehead. Mingyu immediately whisks closer to you, gently removing your hand and scrutinizing the mark on your forehead.
You’re suddenly reminded of something Soobin said to you a couple weeks ago. Something about Jungkook’s friends are just as brotherly as Jungkook, always going the extra mile to take care of you, and suddenly you feel bad.
You groan, “Guys I’m sorry. I didn’t intend for things to get so messy. I’m sorry you have to deal with all of this- but I really care about Jungkook, I really do.”
Taehyung’s grumpy face finally relaxes, “We know you do, Y/N. No one is mad at you- trust me. But you have to make up your mind: do you want him or not? You can’t be wishy washy about this- Jungkook’s a lot older than you. He can’t waste his whole life waiting on you-”
“I want him,” you immediately declare, “I want him, and I’m ready to give everything to show that I love him.”
Mingyu smiles at you, “Well tell him that, not us.”
Your cheeks turn slightly pink. “Yea. I might.”
The rest of the night continues with ease. Mingyu and Taehyung ask you about school, give you professional advice for the future, and at the end of the night you reach over the table to give your card to the waitress, but Taehyung physically holds you back, and Mingyu gives his card to the waiter.
You’re truly so loved.
-
Things change and people change.
The first time Jungkook gets leave from the military is for the memorial service for your parents.
You’ve put the memorial service off for about a year. As their only daughter and remaining heir of your parents, the decision of when and where to hold the memorial service rested solely with you.
Yet, you just couldn’t bring yourself to go through with it, especially with Jungkook in the military.
Like the blossoming of spring, a year has passed, and at 21, you've graduated college, content yet eager for new beginnings.
When Jungkook's mother called you, brimming with excitement, inviting you to join in picking him up from the enlistment site, you couldn't find it in your heart to decline. Even when Jungkook kicked you from his apartment, you and he both knew that you couldn’t just fuck off from his life entirely.
Since birth, Jungkook has always been there. His parents, who are practically your aunt and uncle, have nurtured and cared for you since forever. You've shared in every significant milestone of his life, from graduations and birthdays, and when he gets married, you know you’ll be there, even if it tears you apart.
Your lives would be forever intertwined.
Had you changed since that night at his apartment? Kinda? Not really.
You've moved out from the mansion shared with friends to your own space. With a “lucrative” five-figure job, late-night parties and raves are a thing of the past. You’re all for early morning runs and late night reading.
With the anticipation of seeing Jungkook for the first time since that day, you find yourself more fixated on your outfit than you’ve ever been in your life. More so than prom, more so than Coachella, and more so than graduation.
Jungkook has only ever seen you in hoodies and sweats, a crop top and ripped jeans, or the occasional mini bodycon dress- you don’t think he’s ever seen you in business casual. You wear a chic satin blouse with jeans and closed toed heels.
Jungkook’s parents don’t really like to drive, so of course, you’re driving Jungkook’s Mercedes, (he so carefully left in the care of his parents), to the enlistment sight, which you’re sure he’ll be absolutely thrilled to see. He never let you drive his car out of the parking lot.
As you slide into the driver’s seat of the car, a wave of anxiety washes over you. This is the first time you would see him in an entire year- the longest you’ve been apart. What would he look like? Does he still have feelings for you? Is he still upset with you? Has he completely forgotten about you?
With a soft click, the engine hums to life, and you follow the GPS through the streets towards the enlistment sight. Jungkook’s parents sit in the back, occasionally passing you trail mix and bananas.
You pull up to the enlistment sight, waiting anxiously with your arms crossed amongst the crowds of people.
Jungkook emerges from the crowd in his military uniform, and your heart swells with pride and sorrow. He looks so handsome. He looks bigger, stronger, more rugged. You’ve seen celebrities and models in person before and they could never compare. You step to the side as he greets his parents, and when he turns his head, he locks eyes with you.
It’s like the world stops revolving.
It’s been a year since you’ve seen him and he never ever fails to make you feel this way. He’s made you feel this way since you were 15 and the feeling never dissipated, only amplified.
Butterflies erupt in your stomach, and you swallow.
Jungkook doesn’t look at you in any type of way. His eyes scan over you and he sends you a genuine smile. “Hey Y/N,” he offers, opening his arms for a hug. You hug him from the side, reciprocating his polite smile. “Hi Jungkook. You look nice.”
“You look pretty,” he offers before turning towards his parents and casually taking the keys from your hand.
“Should we go now?”
Jungkook drives all the way home, with you in the passenger seat. You don’t say much. You find yourself simply listening as Jungkook shares with his parents what life in the military is like.
It was expected from everyone that Jungkook would do well in the army. When he was 15 years old, a personal trainer told him that he’d bulk up in muscle from just lifting a spoon.
After reaching home, Jungkook’s parents suggest you show him around your new place, and neither of you really have a choice but to oblige.
The moment Jungkook’s parents are dropped off at his place, an awkward silence absolutely encapsulates the inside of that Mercedes. You don’t say anything; you just lean your head on the window, looking outside the city where you and Jungkook have been for your entire life.
Jungkook says nothing either, tapping his fingers against the drivers’ wheel.
Finally, he speaks up. “Sorry I couldn’t make it to your graduation.”
“It’s fine,” you mumble in response, “You’re busy.”
“Yea.”
More silence overwhelms the car.
“So what did you do with your parents’ house?” he asks, flickering his eyes towards you. You push yourself further against the seat.
“AirBnb,” is all you can conjure.
Your parents were loaded and left you with a plethora of assets. The house, for one, is your second stream of income. You locked off yours and your parents’ room, and cleaned up the rest of the house for it to be rented out.
“Smart,” he offers.
“Thanks.”
He hums in response, tapping his fingers against the wheel. Instinctively, his hands reach towards the radio, turning the Bluetooth on, which of course is already connected to your phone.
Everytime by Ariana Grande blares through the radio, making you temporarily freeze.
I get weak and fall like a teenager
Why, oh, why does God keep bringing me back to you?
I get drunk, pretend that I’m over it
Self-destruct, show up like an idiot
Why, oh, why does God keep bringing me back to you?
I go back to you, back to you, back to you
Back to you, back to you, back to you
I go back to you, back to you, back to you, every time
You’ve had enough. You turn the radio off and roll the window down, your head peeking through from the outside while you let the wind blow against your face.
Jungkook doesn’t say anything either, just continues following the GPS to your apartment.
-
After what seems like forever, he eventually reaches the security gate. "4832," you mention, prompting him to enter the number and which opens the security gate.
“It’s good you live in a gated community,” he comments, “it’s safer that way.”
“Yea,” you agree, not really sure what else
You and Jungkook take the elevator to your place, and you punch the code in before letting Jungkook in.
Jungkook thinks your place is so you. It smells sweet, like vanilla. There’s a white, fluffy couch in front of the TV with stacks of Rilakkuma plushies. Your kitchen is clean, well organized; he sees a heart shaped bowl in the middle of the dining room table. Framed photos adorn the shelves: some of you with your parents, your friends, and one with him and his family from Jungkook’s college graduation.
You rub your palms on your jeans. “So, what do you think?”
“Nice,” he responds, “I’m proud of you.”
You purse your lips and nod. “Thanks… I have a room prepared for you– but is there anything you want to do tonight? Mingyu and Tae can come over, if you’d like.”
Jungkook toys with his lower lip before he tilts his head. It slightly bothers him that his friends have been over at yours, and that you mention it so casually- but of course, he doesn’t mention it.
“No, it’s cool,” he responds, “You look tired. You had to drive a while to get me,” he offers.
“No, no,” you shake your head, “It’s fine. Not a big deal…. You look strong.”
Jungkook smiles, “Yea. Military drills and stuff,” he rests a hand on the kitchen counter and leans against it.
His eyes flicker towards you, looking you up and down. You gulp.
“I missed you,” you finally say, “... and I bought you something.”
Jungkook raises a brow, watching you daintily step into your room to pull out a small black box. You hand it to him, and he delicately opens it. A golden chain.
“I don’t know,” you murmur, “I see lots of military guys wearing chains and I thought you’d like one too,” you offer, shifting your weight between your ankles.
“Thanks,” Jungkook says, “Probably the first time you’ve ever gotten me a gift,” he jokes, to which you playfully roll your eyes. “I’ll wear it when I get back to camp.”
You nod, rising on your tippy toes a bit. “And I’m sorry. For last time… y’know.”
Jungkook's expression crumbles. He licks his lips, “It’s okay. I should have been more understanding. You were going through a lot,” he whispers.
You nod. “I know. But I should have communicated more so I’m sorry. Just so you know, I’m still…”
What should you say? I’m still in love with you? I still think about you every day? I’m nothing without you?
Jungkook’s features soften, and you bite your lip.
"I'm still... here," you murmur, the words carrying the weight of your emotions as you struggle to articulate the depth of your feelings.
Jungkook's expression softens, a gentle understanding dawning in his eyes as he nods in acknowledgment. “I’ll always be here too,” is all he says.
Again, silence overwhelms the room.
“Right… well, my head hurts a little so I’m going to lie down for a bit. Wake me up if you need anything.”
Jungkook tilts his head, approaching you before he presses the back of his palm against your forehead. “You’re burning up,” he murmurs, and you swat his hand away.
“It’s fine. Just nervous about tomorrow,” you murmur.
“I’ll call Yeonjun.”
-
You didn’t expect him to offer to take care of you, cater to your every whim. You really didn’t.
However, straight-up leaving a moment later most definitely caught you off guard. Deep down, you had hoped for a gesture of consideration, like offering to pick up medicine from Walgreens or Walmart, or something.
In that instant, memories flood back of how he cared for you after your parents died. He was so attentive, so sweet. He home cooked you breakfast, meal prepped lunch, and ordered you take out in the evening. You were so out of it, too weak to even function and Jungkook catered to everything you needed.
It’s almost ironic that he zoomed from your apartment the moment he discovered you were ill. You shrug. There's no need to dwell on it or feel upset. It was odd that his parents suggested he spend the night with you. He should be with his parents anyways.
Even though you prepared a room for him, Jungkook goes back to his parents that night, and Yeonjun to yours.
Yeonjun is one of your best friends in the entire world, really, so you’re sorry that you’re treating him like this.
“Yeonjun, if we’re both single at 30, wanna get married?” You plead from the couch, your head resting on the arm and your feet dangling above the backseat.
Yeonjun graces you with the most disgusted look you’ve ever seen in your life. Yet, he still drapes a blanket over your frame, placing a wet cloth on your forehead. He doesn’t even entertain the notion.
“Maybe go back to Sunghoon. He’d seem desperate enough to give you another chance,” Yeonjun murmurs, resting on the opposing side of the couch with his arms crossed.
You pout, before bursting into laughter. You roll from the couch and land on the floor with a thud. Yeonjun joins you, sitting criss-cross applesauce across from you. He wipes a stray hair from your cheek, a cup of Buldak seemingly materializing in his hands. Seriously. Where’d he get that from?
“Y/N, that man does not want you,” Yeonjun states matter-a-factly, his demeanor solemn, a juxtaposition to the goofy red sauce stained around his lips.
And you can’t believe it, but you actually find it in you to giggle at that. Teetering back and forth from where you’re sitting, you sputter out a clumsy “Seems like I’m getting deja vu. How many times in your life have you told me that?”
“Millions,” Yeonjun shrugs, stuffing his face with ramen.
“But you were wrong,” you muse, “I did have a chance with him. He said he was in love with me.”
“Yea,” Yeonjun agrees, before tilting his head, “but you fumbled.”
“I fumbled,” you concur.
“You traumatized that man. He does not want your musty ass,” Yeonjun teases, flicking your forehead with his vacant hand.
“He does not want my musty ass,” you concur once again, a teasing smile spreading across your lips, before bursting into a fit of giggles.
Observing you, Yeonjun cracks a smile. “I’m glad you’re not being a crybaby about it anymore,” he comments, “FIrst loves are first loves,” he shrugs, “They say your second love is actually your true first love because they make you realize you weren’t actually in love with your first love.”
“Maybe,” you add, staring up at the ceiling fan swirling in circles and circles and circles- and it makes you dizzy. You squeeze your eyes shut. “Who would that even be?,” you ponder aloud, “Sunghoon is cute, but he doesn’t like me anymore.”
“Well, you can ask them, because I invited them over,” Yeonjun adds, suddenly locking eyes with you. You take a moment to process what he just said.
“What?-”
On cue, the doorbell rings, and Yeonjuns stands up, waltzing to get the door like he’s the owner of the damn apartment.
You scramble to your feet as Yeonjun swings open the door with a swish.
Heeseung and Sunghoon flood in, a teddy bear in Heeseung’s hands and a pot in Sunghoon’s.
Heeseung looks you up and down, sticking the teddy bear in your face. “Heard you were sick,” he says plainly, soliciting you to just blink at him.
Sunghoon scoffs from the side, “Yea Heeseung, just go add it to the stack of a hundred plushies she already has,” motioning towards your living room that indeed has a stack of Sanrio and Rilakkuma plushies in the corner.
You snort, snatching the teddy bear from his grimy little fingers. “Thanks… asshole.”
Sunghoon rummages through the fridge, placing his little pot in and taking a box of apple juice out. “I brought you dumpling soup. Just put it on the stove when you’re ready,” he instructs.
Heeseung joins Yeonjun in the living room, letting out a low whistle. “You have a pretty nice place, Y/N. Don’t miss living with us at all?”
You huff, stomping over towards Heeseung before pointing your finger in his face. “You slept with someone in my room!” you accuse, “No, I do not miss living with you!”
Heeseung puts his hands up, “Hey, I already apologized! That was in the past. I’m a born-again virgin now,” he continues.
You blink, exchanging a glance with Yeonjun before returning your gaze to Heeseung. The words leave you speechless, leaving you with nothing to say in response.
Nonetheless, you bend down to give him a hug, maneuvering to lie down on his thigh while you stare at the ceiling. “I have a fever guys,” you mumble, “Can’t have our entire university here bothering me and shit,” you joke, swatting their air like the boys are a bunch of pesky flies.
“Please,” Heeseung teases, “You’ll start crying the moment we leave.”
“Maybe,” slips from your mouth, and you run your hands over your face.
“What happened with Jungkook?” Sunghoon adds, a cup of Buldak ramen somehow also materializing in his hands. These boys are really raiding your ramen stash.
“Y/N fumbled,” Yeonjun answers for you, absentmindedly scrolling through his phone.
Heeseung puts a hand on your forehead. “Holy shit Y/N! You really are burning up… are fevers contagious?”
“How gentlemanly of you,” you murmur.
“Wait, let me feel,” Sunghoon intervenes, pressing one hand against your forehead and the other against his. He gauges it for a moment. At that moment, you do recall that Sunghoon’s dad is a doctor, and he might have some magical prognosis for the situation at hand.
“Yea, you have a fever,” Sunghoon confirms.
You and Heeseung roll your eyes in unison.
“But what happened with Jungkook?” Sunghoon questions, settling back into his spot on the floor.
“I fumbled,” you respond, using Yeonjun’s words exactly. “But it’s fine. It’s whatever. I have a memorial service to worry about tomorrow,” you mutter.
At that, a solemn silence washes over the room. It doesn’t make you feel any type of way. You wouldn’t know what to say to a girl who lost both of her parents either.
“You also fumbled Sunghoon,” Heeseung jokes, immediately easing the atmosphere and eliciting an Oh c’mon from Sunghoon and laughter from you and Yeonjun.
Genuinely, you found that funny.
You feel complete and content.
-
Throughout the night, the three boys took turns tending to you, diligently replacing the ice pack on your forehead. It was crucial for your fever to break, knowing that the following day was your parents’ memorial service (the reason why Jungkook is even back in town). Yeonjun, Heeseung, and Sunghoon ran home to change into proper attire, promising you that they’d get back to you as soon as possible.
Drifting in, adorned in a long black skirt and a matching blouse, a black ribbon delicately tied into your hair in a half-up, half-down style, you arrive at the memorial service site several hours ahead of schedule- to grant yourself the necessary time for mental preparation and to ensure the arrangements have been made.
Sitting alone in the parking lot, the floodgates of your own emotions explode, and you drown in your own feelings. Since Jungkook's enlistment, you've buried yourself in work- barely finding time to arrange everything for the upcoming service.
You realize you haven’t even taken a moment to process how you truly feel about everything.
You’re only 21 years old. This fucking sucks.
You ache for the warmth of your parents' embrace, desperately missing the solace only your mother could provide. In moments like these, you find yourself longing for her gentle hug, her soothing words, and her infinite love.
You feel tears well in your waterline, and you immediately wipe them with your sleeve.
You had to be strong for your parents.
They never liked seeing you cry, always told you to be strong.
With a deep inhale, you swing open the door and stride into the memorial service center, ready to attend to the necessary preparations.
The moment you step into the building, your eyes lock onto Jungkook.
Adorned in a somber black suit with his hands tucked into his pockets, he paces anxiously, his presence immediately drawing your attention.
This isn’t the time; it really isn’t, but he’s perfect. He’s so handsome, even without his hair, even when he doesn’t talk to you, even when you don’t see him.
When he senses your presence, he immediately turns towards you.
“Y/N.”
“Jungkook. Thanks for being here,” you say, pulling him in for another side hug.
“Yea, of course,” he mumbles, “You feeling better?”
You nod, “Yea ‘m good. My fever broke… did the guy say anything?” ou inquire, swiftly diverting the conversation.
Jungkook appears slightly taken aback, but he responds, "Yeah. Good. They have everything set up. They just need the portrait of Auntie and Uncle."
Dangling your keys in front of him, you continue, "They're in the trunk. Can you get them? I have to- I have to use the restroom." Jungkook studies your face for a moment before nodding in understanding. "Yeah, totally."
"Thanks," you mumble before darting into the restroom.
Obviously, you’re on the verge of tears and he could palpably feel and see that. Once inside the stall, the floodgates burst open. The despondency of everything absolutely devours you and you feel so pitiful, so sad that you’re in this situation, and that your parents are gone– forever.
Your parents are gone. You think Jungkook is gone. You have nobody. You’re alone. The family that you grew up with… it would never be the same.
After a moment of letting your emotions flow, you take a deep breath and wipe your eyes. You had anticipated this moment, knowing that you would inevitably end up crying like a little baby, so you had opted for a bare face today.
You leave the restroom, hanging your head, and when you look up, you lock eyes with Jungkook.
With furrowed brows, his eyes sweep over your puffy ones, noticing the glossy scleras and the tears welling up once again. Staring at him, you feel pathetic, and you let out a quiet sob before burying your face into your hands.
And suddenly, you feel him.
Like the comfort of the gentle breeze on a Spring day, Jungkook envelops you with his strong arms, and suddenly everything’s okay. He holds you and it’s reminiscent of all the times he’s cared for you, doted on you, and expressed his love for you. He soothingly runs his hand up and down your back, pressing you against the wall and away from the eyes of bystanders.
You remain still, sniffling and drying your eyes, overwhelmed before pulling away. Jungkook runs a hand over your hair, eyes glazing over your face. He doesn’t say anything, and he doesn’t need to.
The way he looks at you is enough. It’ll be okay. Everything will be okay.
The beauty of your relationship with Jungkook is that in itself. It would be alright. Everything would be alright so long as he’s there- even just as a friend.
To love someone is to love from afar. To love someone is to love without reciprocation. You love Jungkook and he loves you. Some people are so filled with hatred and resentment- the ability to even love after all you’ve been through is astounding in itself.
Your love for Jungkook is a powerful thing. It would carry you far, and to simply possess the ability to love is far more significant than being in a relationship with him.
“Y/N!” On cue, Yeonjun makes his appearance in the lobby, tilting his head when he sees you and Jungkook standing closely together by the hallway.
Jungkook motions towards Yeonjun, and you nod, not before you stand on your tiptoes to give him another hug– not a side hug, but a real hug. “Thank you,” you whisper against his neck before you skip towards Yeonjun and your other friends.
-
The memorial service begins and ends with reverence.
Surrounded by your family and friends, you begin to feel overwhelmed by your sense of community.
The service room is reminiscent of that of a church. You sit on the front row, Yeonjun on one side and Yunjin on the other. Both of them are holding each of your hands as you listen to your maternal aunt tell stories of your parents from their youth.
Through her words, you get a glimpse of your parents in their youth– just two kids stupid in love, youthful, lively, and brimming with aspirations. It gives you peace that they were able to live their dreams out before they died- one of those dreams being seeing you graduate high school. It’s a shame they weren’t present at your college graduation.
After listening to your aunt, your grandma, and Jungkook’s mom. Jungkook is next. You didn’t know he’d be talking, but his mom let you know that he had something prepared.
He saunters towards the front from the second row, hands in his pockets, before he clears his throat, taking a piece of paper from his pocket, coughing against his closed fist before he speaks up.
“Auntie ___ and Uncle ___ were the most selfless people I know. When my mother couldn't join me for Mother's Day lunch at school, Auntie __ stepped in. As I learned to ride a bike, it was Uncle ___ who stayed outside with me for hours, patiently assisting me as I struggled to find my balance,” he starts, meeting your eyes before looking back into the general audience.
“Auntie and Uncle were filled with so much love and trust. They embraced a more liberal parenting style, trusting in the inherent kindness of the world to play a role in shaping their daughter's character.”
It’s funny, because as he’s speaking about you, he can’t bring himself to meet your eyes. “They exposed her to life's various facets, both its joys and challenges, instilling in her a deep understanding of the world's complexities. And their approach paid off. They leave behind a daughter, one of the most compassionate and beautiful souls who embodies traits of independence, strength, and intelligence.”
Your heart clenches, and you raise your lashes, hanging onto his every word. You can feel your heart beating against your chest.
“To honor their legacy, let’s approach the world with less caution and more trust. Embrace the goodness of the world and live happily, just like Auntie ___ and Uncle ___ did. Thank you.”
Jungkook still doesn’t meet your eyes as he returns to his seat, but yours follows his all the way to his seat.
-
Right after the memorial service, Jungkook catches you off guard. He strides over, giving you a hug– a full hug– before whispering in your ear, the baritone of his voice causing goosebumps to erect on your skin. “I have to go now, but stay safe. I’ll see you when I get back.”
You look up at him, nodding. “Yea. See you.”
He doesn’t say anything else, walking towards his parents and taking the keys to his own car before he leaves. All your friends watch Jungkook just as intently, but nobody says anything. You don’t talk about Jungkook much with your friends anymore. There’s not really a reason to.
And just like that, you don’t see Jungkook for another six months.
-
The next time you see Jungkook is when he comes home from the military.
This time, you aren’t able to join his parents to pick him up, and it’s not because you’re avoiding him, but because you have an important meeting at work– a meeting that you just can’t wiggle your way out of.
Apparently, the higher ups are announcing something– something so important that apparently they need the entire company present…. And why couldn’t have this just been an email?
As the hours tick by, you sit in your cubicle, completing an analysis of consumer behavior for a client. Work isn’t particularly exciting nor is it a bore. You currently work in consulting, specializing in data analysis to help clients make decisions for their businesses.
At 4PM, an hour before everybody goes home, the higher ups gather everyone into the auditorium.
You sit next to Mary, one of the colleagues on your team, about 50 years old, who taps you on the shoulder and whispers. “My oh my, if they wanted to kill us all, this would be the perfect time to drop a bomb,” she jokes, which makes you smile.
That was a cute comment. You place your hand over hers. “Well, at least we’d go out together, right? HR won’t have to spend any more on those team building exercises,” you joke with a gag, prompting Mary to roll her eyes.
The tension in the room is palpable as the CEO takes the stage and clears their throat, prompting everyone’s attention.
"Good afternoon, everyone. I'm pleased to announce that after months of negotiations, we have finalized a merger agreement with HYBE Korea," the CEO declares, gesturing towards the screen where the company logo appears.
“This means that some of the departments will be relocating to HYBE," the CEO announces, his voice projecting as he gestures towards the screen displaying the company's new logo. "HYBE is investing in a new building equipped with state-of-the-art facilities, providing us with an exciting opportunity to expand our operations."
You pause, and that’s when the realization sinks in.
Jungkook works for HYBE.
"In celebration of this milestone, we will be hosting a party next month to commemorate the merger. More details will be sent through email.” the CEO continues, his words met with a ripple of applause and relieved smiles from the crowd. "It will be an opportunity for us to come together as a unified team and celebrate the bright future that lies ahead."
Mary’s saying something to you but you’re not even processing it, trying to understand the implications of the merger.
There’s no way you’d be working with Jungkook– imagine the odds of that. But, what if?
He gets back today and everything feels surreal.
-
After you get back to your car, Jungkook’s mother calls you, excitedly urging you to drive over to her place to celebrate Jungkook’s return from the military. You tell her that of course you’ll be there before you start driving down the oh so familiar streets to Jungkook’s child home.
Upon pulling up, you see a familiar face.
Rolling down the window, you call out his name, “Tae!!”
Taehyung, who is in the midst of walking towards the front door, whips his head towards your voice. “Y/N, hey!”
He waits for you to park, you clumsily grabbing onto your purse so you can meet him at the front.
“I missed you,” you say.
“I missed you too. Text me more,” he responds before scanning you up and down, “You look… fancy,” Taehyung comments to which you sigh playfully.
“You know, I chose to waste my life away as a corporate slave,” you muse, giving him a hug.
“Just like your boyfriend,” Taehyung jokes, making an obvious reference to Jungkook.
“Oh shut up,” you sigh, swatting his bicep, allowing him to open the door for you.
The moment you walk in, Jungkook’s mother squeals like she’s never seen you in her life. “Omo, omo, omo! Y/N is here everyone!” she announces excitedly, scurrying over to you, immediately latching onto your bicep to pull you towards the crowd, “Y/N is here! Y/N is here!”
Jungkook is standing by the dining table, surrounded by his aunts, uncles, and cousins. He lifts his head to meet eyes with you, offering you a gentle smile. The way he looks at you, smiles at you– it’s just, it makes your heart swell.
Every time you see him, it’s like time slows down.
You can imagine waking up this smile every morning, rolling over to find his handsome face gazing softly at you to-
Wait. Have you lost your mind?
And at that moment, you’re tackled to the ground by Jungkook’s six year old cousin, Jacob. If Jungkook is no longer in love with you, the only solace you have is the affection of his six year old cousin.
He grabs your face with both palms, causing your lips to pucker as he pouts at you. “Why didn’t you say hi to me?”
You gently grab his face and ruffle hush air. “Sowwy, Jacob. You’re too little I didn’t see you,” you reason to which Jacob, for some reason, becomes angry at.
He rolls over onto the ground, just to get up and stomp away. “I am not little!” he declares, stomping up the stairs. You can hear the door slam and you exchange bewildered glances with Jacob’s mother, who shakes her head.
“He's just going through a bit of a phase," she reassures you with a smile, before turning to follow Jacob upstairs. You lock eyes with Jungkook, who gives you a subtle smile.
The Jeon family is filled with drama queens.
Jungkook closes the distance between you. “Hey.”
You feel your heart skip a beat.
He’s as handsome as ever. Just like he’s always been.
“Hey, welcome back,” you sheepishly express, standing on your tiptoes to give him a hug.
He hugs you– like, really hugs you. Both of his strong arms snake around your waist, holding you against him securely. It leaves you weak in the knees. It’s a little too intimate for a casual, welcome back hug, but you haven’t a problem with it.
He pulls back, and all you can do is stare at him. You’re mesmerized. Again, he always makes you feel like this. This feeling will never dissipate.
“Did you just get back from work?”
You come back to Earth, pulled from your entrancement.
“Yea, I did…” You scan him up and down. He’s wearing something casual– a black T-shirt and black shorts, but his physique still looks perfect and he still looks perfect. Without thinking, you speak, “Did you happen to hear about the- no, nevermind.”
Jungkook tilts his head with a slightly teasing expression, “No, say it,” he urges
“The merger.”
“Merger?”
You say it in unison, and you bite a smile back.
Jungkook’s mom automatically intervenes, “Omo! Omo!” she exclaims, “A merger? What merger?”
“Y/N’s company and my company are merging,” Jungkook simply answers, looking at you to raise his brows.
“Omo!” she exclaims again, almost theatrically falling to her knees, “Does this mean that you two will be working together?” she asks, motioning towards you and Jungkook, to which you sheepishly shake your head.
“Probably not,” you dismiss, “I don’t even know if my department is relocating to the new facility.”
“Oh, I hope you do!” Jungkook’s mother pouts, “That would be absolutely perfect! It would be great if he could watch over you at work,” she reasons, before addressing the entire family, “Y/N is very pretty and gets hits on a lot,” she explains, making you squeeze your features in embarrassment.
All of Jungkook’s older family members murmur in agreement– and you appreciate the hype, you really do, but it’s embarrassing, especially in front of the entire family. You place a hand on Jungkook’s mother’s shoulder. “Excuse me for a moment, I’m going to use the restroom,” you whisper, to which she gives you two big thumbs ups.
On your way to the restroom, you stop in your tracks. None other than Yeonjun, the ANTAGONIST, steps out, swatting the air like he’d just taken a nasty shit.
You blink at him and he blinks at you.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” you deadpan.
Yeonjun shrugs, “Jungkook’s aunt invited me. She thinks I’m a cutie pie.”
“Okay,” you roll your eyes, walking past him to inconspicuously drag him with you into the restroom.
You throw him onto the toilet seat, looking into the mirror to touch up your makeup.
“Y/N, this looks suspicious,” Yeonjun deadpans, watching you reapply your lip gloss and comb through your eyebrows.
At that, you drop your hand from your face. “Oh shit, that’s true,” you gasp, a hand coming over your mouth.
For the past– like– two years, Jungkook’s family has been under the impression that you and Yeonjun are dating. That notion couldn’t be farther from the truth.
You inhale sharply, turning towards Yeonjun, “You leave first and then I’ll follow.”
Yeonjun raises an eyebrow, a hint of amusement flickering in his eyes. "Sure thing, Y/N. Just pray that nobody’s waiting outside," he says with a mocking smile before slipping out of the restroom.
And of course, Jungkook’s mother was right outside the door. She shrieks.
-
Every single one of Jungkook’s aunts and uncles met you when you were just an itty-bitty baby.
Occasionally, you keep in touch with the aunts and uncles– not nearly as much as you do with Jungkook’s parents, but goodness, are you thankful for your connections to the Jeon family because you find out that Jungkook’s uncle won the lottery.
The literal lottery– and he bought a yacht, a yacht that he suggests to all the “kids” (a bunch of 20-something year olds, pushing 30) to go on a little cruise in celebration of Jungkook’s return.
You really wouldn’t be yourself if you didn’t rush home to get your bikini and sunscreen, and of course, you dragged Yeonjun along with you.
The yacht, even under the night sky, is the fanciest, most luxurious thing you've ever laid eyes on. Its lights twinkle like stars, casting a gentle glow on the water. It's like a dream come true, a magical oasis on the dark sea.
This is so cute, so summer.
With your towel laid against the deck, you’re lying on the deck like you’re suntanning, which isn’t possible because it’s the moon’s light that shines down on you, but at least it makes you feel like a magical moon fairy.
“Get the angles right!” you bark to which Yeonjun rolls his eyes to the back of his head and groans.
With your forearm resting against the deck, you hold your body up sideways, all your assets on display. With your knees touching, your hip touches the deck, and your other arm goes up in the air, and you’re waving it around like a little mermaid.
In a sense, you’re posing to get a cute Instagram pic– but also because you know Jungkook might be watching from the upper deck. He’s probably drinking with his friends, not even batting a lash nor caring about you, but you like to delude yourself into thinking that he could be checking you out from a distance.
“Y/N, I took like 300,” he deadpans, dismissing your complaints with a wave, “Take some for me now,” he instructs, standing up to hand you his phone, “I’m cuter than you so they better look better than yours.”
“Yea, yea. Whatever,” you muse, going along with the bit, holding up your phone to get all the good angles for your forever bestie.
-
Mingyu, Taehyung, Jimin, and Jungkook sit on the upper deck, staring at the night sky with bottles of Soju in their hands. Like you and Yeonjun, they’re in their swim trunks, though no one is entirely certain they want to go for a swim in the chilly water.
Unbeknownst to you, the four men have a clear view of you from the upper deck.
The flash of the phone camera flickers comically, occasionally lighting up the mens’ faces as they all try to avoid looking at you– out of chivalry, of course.
Taehyung is particularly amusing, maintaining his expression of stoicism as he stares directly into the moon, taking an occasional sip of Soju.
At that moment, Jungkook knows that he chose the right friends because he himself can’t seem to rip his eyes from you. You’re beautiful; that is absolute, without a doubt– but something has changed– maybe it’s the angle that the cool breeze hits his face or the alcohol making him feel soothingly warm on the inside.
Jungkook sees it in your mannerisms, the way you poise yourself, the way you walk, the way you talk. You were gorgeous before, and he was insane about you before, but damn– you’ve become such a woman.
He knows what it is, but he’d be a dick to patronize you for it, to act like he’s proud of you for becoming more confident. Undoubtedly, you’ve developed a more profound sense of confidence and it makes Jungkook swell with pride because he remembers how you’ve agonized over your body, complaining about your boobs, your weight, your waist, when in reality everything was and is perfect.
You’re as beautiful as a Victoria’s Secret model, as ethereal as the goddess of beauty, and Jungkook’s just happy to see that you’ve embraced it.
You yourself would agree with the sentiment; it wasn’t until your 20’s that you grasped how utterly gorgeous you are, and how to embrace your beauty, make yourself look good and like you, not just like every other girl on Instagram.
Jimin clears his throat, “So.. now that you’re back, are you and Y/N going to…”
Jungkook lifts his head and looks at Jimin. He shakes his head. It’s firm and absolute. “No, it’s better for us to be friends.”
Mingyu raises a brow, “You can’t take your eyes off her.”
“It doesn’t matter,” he rationalizes, “People can like each other and still be incompatible.”
“Incompatible?” Taehyung repeats, a twinge of confrontation in his voice, “If I had a girl like Y/N in my life I’d propose immediately.”
Jungkook stares into the moon, “I need a cigarette-”
“Okay, what is wrong with you?” Jimin challenges, rising to his feet, “Y/N is right there,” Jimin whisper-yells, motioning towards the lower deck, “You clearly still feel something for her, so do something about it. I mean- how would you feel if someone– not me… I don’t know. How would you feel if Mingyu hit on her right now? And they started dating?’
“Why me?-”
“That would be inappropriate,” Jungkook retorts, “Y/N can date whoever she wants, just not you guys.”
“Then what about Yeonjun?” Taehyung intervenes calmly, “Yeonjun’s a good kid. She brings him to all your family events. They’re cute together, huh?” Taehyung motions towards the lower deck, where you and Yeonjun are laying on your sides facing each other, animatedly discussing something probably stupid, like penguins.
He notices the skinship, how your hand is casually thrown around Yeonjun’s waist, and how you occasionally swat at his shoulder whenever he says something a little too egregious.
No, it doesn’t bother Jungkook.
Jungkook actually likes that you have male friends, that you can maintain friendships with the opposite gender without it having to mean more.
It means that he can trust you, and that he can trust your friends to take care of you.
But what trust is at stake here? It’s not like you’re his girlfriend nor should he worry about who’s taking care of you or not taking care of you. Furthermore, it really isn’t his place to feel betrayed, like you cheated on him, by the prospect of you actually forming a relationship with Yeonjun–.
“See? You look hurt as fuck,” Taehyung affirms.
“I’m not hurt-”
“Get your shit together, and get your girl. Y/N’s not perfect, but she could be perfect for you,” Taehyung shrugs at his corny play of words, earning a playful shoulder nudge from Mingyu.
“Aye, that was a good one.”
On cue, he hears two inconspicuous splashes into the ocean, your squeals echoing across the atmosphere.
“Tag, you’re it!”
“Bitch! You just kicked my balls!”
“I said tag, you’re it!”
But wait, isn’t it a little too dark to be swimming this late?
-
When it comes to you it’s like Jungkook’s protective instinct never dies.
Descending the stairs to the lower deck, he watches Yeonjun as he climbs onto the deck. “Y/N, you need to stop kicking my nuts! Holy shit!”
“I said sorry!” you retort, “I didn’t know!”
Yeonjun grumbles something indistinctive before picking a towel up to roughly dry his hair, disappearing into the restroom.
“Y/N, it isn’t safe to swim alone at night,” Jungkook mumbles. He takes a seat on the lower deck, his feet submerged under the water. The water is icy cold, and he can’t conceive how you’re not shivering. He’s not being patronizing. He’s simply worried for your safety.
You swim towards him, hands latching around his ankles to stabilize yourself beneath the water.
It’s the casual skinship between you two. The way his hand lingered on your shoulder when he told you his uncle bought a yacht. It’s the way he can casually wipe food from your mouth with his bare hands without batting a lash. It’s the way your fingers trail up his legs so you can place your forearms against his thighs, resting your head on them.
“Then… why don’t you come join me..?”
Jungkook really doesn’t want to. The water is cold, the weather is cold, and he’s very much comfortable on the warm yacht.
….
Jungkook submerges himself under the water, coming up before flicking his head back to rid the water from his eyes.
“It’s cold as fuck, Y/N,” Jungkook mutters, body temperature still adjusting to the chilly water.
He freezes when your fingertips brush against his. abs— perhaps accidentally, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t make him feel any less electrified.
“That’s why it’s good to have more than one person in here,” you rationalize, “More body heat.”
You’re treading against the water, and not doing a great job at it- your head bobs with the motion of the waves, and you find yourself sputtering the water out of your mouth as you speak.
Jungkook wipes his face haphazardly with his left hand before he reaches out to stabilize you, holding onto your bicep.
It makes your heart skip a beat. So big and strong. You can smell the shampoo on his wet hair, and it makes you dizzy because not only does he always look good, he always smells good.
Your eyes trail from his bicep to his shoulder, neck, and finally, to his eyes. He’s already looking at you, the warmth of his gaze making you feel so secure and safe.
You know he wants you. There’s no way he can look at you like this and not want you.
It hasn’t even been a day since he’s returned from the military and he looks at you the same way he looked at you from the night before he left: with love.
Your eyes flicker down to his lips, his pretty lips. He’s so pretty. You close the distance, wrapping your arms around his neck to stabilize you further, and you draw your lips to his-
Until he turns his head.
Still, his hands grab your waist, holding you close to him against the water, but he looks into the ocean, 90 degrees from you, refusing to look at you or meet your eyes.
“It’s cold, we should get out. I don’t want to get sick,” he suggests.
“Yea, okay,” you sheepishly agree, allowing him to hoist you onto the lower deck before following in your stead.
He throws you a vacant towel, “You alright?”
Catching it with a single hand, you use it to pat yourself dry, composing yourself before you stare at him.
“I’m fine.”
-
That night, Jungkook’s mother suggests you spend the night at her house, or that Jungkook drive you home given how late it is.
Instead, you sneak out of the house and drive home, far too embarrassed to be around Jungkook let alone look him in the eye.
That was so humiliating. You think about how you behaved while you were staying with him after your parents’ death. You exposed yourself to him in the shower and begged him to join you. What the hell were you even thinking? Should you just drive your car off this cliff?
When you pull into your apartment complex’s parking lot, you keep banging your head against the steering wheel in hopes that maybe you’d wake up and realize that tonight was just an embarrassing dream.
Well, unfortunately it wasn’t a dream, because later that night Jungkook shows up at your door with your wallet in his hand. You answer the door in a loose T-shirt, boyshorts, and a Snorlax plush headband on your head with a gray face mask.
“My mom told me to give this back to you.”
You take the wallet, “Thanks.”
You stand there for a moment, staring at him.
He looks at you, pursing his lips before he places a hand on your shoulder. “Hey, I’ll always care about you, alright?”
You nod, fidgeting with the charm of your necklace, “I know.”
“Good. I’ll be going, then,” Jungkook announces.
“Alright, drive safely,” you respond.
With a brief nod, Jungkook moves to shut the door and depart, and for some reason you just can’t bear to see him go so your hands instinctively reach for him, latching around his wrist.
Jungkook raises his eyebrows at you, and you almost yank your hand from him immediately.
“It’s nothing,” you express, biting your lip.
“Alright then, I’ll see you.”
“Good night.”
The moment he leaves, you scold yourself for being so emboldened. Weren’t you embarrassed enough? You open your fridge, pouring yourself a glass of champagne, before you pace around your apartment, your champagne swishing in your glass while you find yourself in deep contemplation.
Jungkook’s back.
Everything you’ve ever wanted is back, in front of you.
You hurt him, and apparently you made him cry, well- that was all in the past, anyways.
It doesn’t matter because you love him. You really do. You love him with your entire soul, heart, and being, and you know your feelings are reciprocated, so if there’s even a chance that he’s willing to give it another shot, you’ve got to do something about it.
Instinctively, you grab your laptop and place it on the dining table, stretching your fingers out to write the longest text message you’ve probably sent in your life.
Once your pinky finger presses the Enter key, you slam your laptop shut, pacing around your apartment until you hear a ding from your phone.
You nearly screech, running to your bathroom to wash off the face mask, putting some moisturizer on, combing through your eyebrows, and applying your lip gloss before-
Ding Dong
You open the door, looking up at Jungkook with big eyes while he looks down at you. He runs his hand through his hair before holding your face with his palms, studying you, his eyes urgently scanning your features for any hint of insincerity.
“You mean it?”
“Yes,” you say resolutely, struggling against his firm grasp, your lips slightly puckering.
“Prove it then,” he demands.
He lets go of your face and welcomes himself into your humble abode.
Taking a seat on your couch, he crosses his arms, watching you intently as if waiting for you to break out into a soliloquy.
You don’t know what to say, and you’re far too embarrassed to admit your transgressions aloud, until a light bulb appears over your head.
“My diary,” you suggest, “I’ll let you read… parts of my diary, but you have to prove it first.”
You expect him to ask you how, or to ask you what he’s supposed to be proving, but he doesn’t.
“Okay. C’mere,” he says with a tilt of his head. All you can do is shift your weight between ankles, before shyly approaching him.
“Sit,” he gently instructs.
You nod, about to seat yourself on the area beside him before he grabs your wrist and twirls you around so that you’re straddling him. Your hands find themselves on your shoulders, and Jungkook wraps his around your back.
“Y/N, I..” he starts, his gently brown orbs studying your features, “I know what you think of me,” he sighs as if just relinquished from holding the weight of the world, “and I promise you that I’m not that man,” he continues, scrutinizing your every nonverbal response.
“I’m selfish, I’m immature,” he starts, brushing your bangs from your face, “but never with you,” he finishes. “I always showed you the best parts of me, always wanted you to see me as someone you can rely on,” he expresses, gently cradling your face, “but I don’t think you realize how much I depend on you, how much I need you too.”
Your features scrunch, studying his features, digesting his words. He reaches in his pocket for something, before pulling out a heart shaped locket. He uses his other arm to delicately grasp your hand, placing the locket in your hand.
“Look at it,” he instructs, and you follow, your fingertips clumsily opening the locket. Your heart swells. The heart shaped locket bears an image of you.
“Being in the military wasn’t easy for me,” he continues, “but I had you with me. Had my favorite girl with me. You gave me strength.”
“When you left that morning, I regretted what I said to you. I thought I was too harsh, and that I’d lost you forever. That was one of the worst feelings in my life– but to me, I felt that you were the one who turned me down. I thought that you were just infatuated with me, that you wouldn’t care about me if you’d see how immature and selfish I really am. But I love you so much that I was okay with that. I’m okay with anything as long as it’s you,” he finally finishes.
You don’t know what to say. Your eyes flicker towards the locket, “You could’ve chosen a better picture,” you mumble, to which Jungkook amusedly scoffs.
“That’s all you have to say?” he muses.
Your cheeks turn strawberry pink, and you climb off his lap, running to your room to grab your diary. You return, skipping through the pages, before you land on the one you want to show him.
You jut it towards him, “Here.”
Jungkook’s eyes glaze over the page, and he starts reading it aloud, mocking your voice, “I graduate college today-”
You literally throw yourself on him to shut him up, “Do not.”
A cheeky smile dances across his face as his eyes scan over the page. After a moment, he looks up and pouts, “Awe, baby,” he coos.
Your face scrunches cutely.
“Come gimme a hug,” he sweetly beckons, to which you sheepishly jump into his lap again, his arms snaking around your waist while he soothingly runs his hands up and down your back.
“I’ll always be here for you, whether we’re together or not,” he whispers against your skin, “You mean everything to me.”
“I know,” you self-consciously respond.
"There's nothing you can do to be 'worthy' of me. I love you for you. You can be the world's richest person or the world's poorest person and there's nothing that would change for me, seriously. All you need to do is continue loving yourself, and that's good enough for me."
"Even if I turned into a worm? You'd still love me?" you ask, your voice coming out as a slight whimper.
Jungkook smiles. Obviously not, but of course, he'll indulge you. "Of course," he says, his voice like honey, "I'd carry you around in my pocket."
"Thanks," you sheepishly murmur, “There are just things I’m worried about, but I trust you with everything.”
He hums in agreement, “We’ll work it out.”
“Okay,” you concede, “I love you,” you confess, “I love you forever.”
“I love you forever too.”
The moment feels so intimate. Your chests are heart to heart, beating in unison as you relish the sensation of having him in your arms, having him back.
-
Dating Jungkook officially means you get to indulge in all of your innermost desires, the little things you never thought you’d see into fruition– because the reality is that you’ve seen Jungkook in every way. He’s been to your house thousands of times, and you’ve slept over at his hundreds of times, but having him in a different way fills you with an indescribable sense of excitement and joy.
He’s taken you shopping thousands of times, but this time is different. Jungkook is affectionately, overwhelmingly so. He’ll keep his fingers intertwined with yours even when your palms become drenched with sweat. As stated before, he doesn’t care about any distinct bodily fluid if it’s yours.
He’ll hold you from behind while you browse through clothes, give you the occasional peck when you’re in line– it seems like he’s enjoying this domestic intimacy as much as you are. The poor guy has been in the military for a whole year.
“That one’s cute,” he comments, motioning towards a white sundress hanging on the rack, just beside the crop top you’re currently looking at. He keeps your body close to him, his arms so casually thrown around you from behind. His fingers play with your hair, twirling it around his index, and every so often, he presses kisses to your cheek, neck, and skillfully cradles your face, forcing your jaw towards him for a sweet kiss.
“Should I try it on?” you ask with a cute tilt of your head.
“I like it,” he offers, “I rarely see you in dresses. You always look so pretty.”
His sentiment makes you blush– you’re already aware that when he’s around, you’ve only really been in casual clothes: crop tops, sweatpants, and flared leggings. You want to show him a new side of you.
“We could go to the beach together,” you offer.
Jungkook hums in agreement, “Of course, baby,” he agrees, “You looked really pretty in that matching skirt and crop top thing you wore last time.”
“Which one?”
“The one you broke my heart in,” he teases.
You amusedly scoff, twirling around to grab his face and press a kiss on his lips. He acts annoyed, doesn’t return the kiss, just stares down at you, but still chases your lips when you pull away.
If the skinship is this pervasive in public, you can’t imagine how he would behave behind closed doors.
Jungkook got back yesterday, and you think that he’s really taking his fill of you after being deprived from you for so long.
Yesterday was Friday, and today is Saturday… meaning that neither of you have nothing to do.
Nothing to do but look at cute princess dresses at the mall, cuddle, and watch Jujutsu Kaisen, obviously.
Even while doing something as mundane as watching anime from the floor, you sit in between his legs, back pressed up against his chest, and his arms around your waist, fingers playing and pinching with the chub of your tummy.
He can’t keep his hands off you.
The sounds of Gojo and Toji’s fight are drowned by the pounding of your cardiac palpitations. Jungkook’s large hands are splayed against the front of your body, his hands trailing up and around your stomach and back, rubbing your skin, and sinking his fingertips into your chub.
You gasp softly when you feel him unclasp your bra.
He pulls his arms around you even more securely, tugging you onto his lap before he buries his face into the crook of your neck, “You’re so soft,” he murmurs, and his hands return to your stomach– and you think they’re going to trail up. Perhaps he’ll grab a handful of titty or rub a nipple until he doesn’t-
His hands trail to your legs, rubbing his palms up and down each calf lovingly before he laces his fingers through your toes, and gently pushes you off his lap…?
He rises to his feet. “I’m hungry, want me to make some ramen for you?”
“Uh yea, sure,” you smile.
You and Jungkook have done it before: twice. Once at the beach villa and the second before he enlisted.
Every time was magical, electrifying, the best you’ve ever had. He led you through each and every step with expertise and he was so soft, so sweet, and it felt so fucking good.
Admittedly, your past, insecure, and inquisitive self did some snooping around and you are aware of Jungkook’s body count: 13. You were the 13th, and quite honestly, it didn’t make you feel the greatest; you despise the thought of Jungkook with another woman, but you suppose that there is something nice about having an experienced man.
It’s not like you weren’t inexperienced either.
Your body count was– like– 6.
It’s not like any of the men before Jungkook actually made you come. It felt good, you guess, but having sex with someone you’re in love with is indescribable.
You want to do it with him, but there’s something that makes you feel subconscious about making the first move, especially when it comes to something as intimate and forth putting as sex.
You don’t find yourself seductive enough to do so, and you already have societal norms against you.
Women are the gatekeepers of sex. Men are the ones who want to unlock the gate. Blah Blah Blah.
Well, you want to have sex too because you’re unbelievably in love and aroused by this man.
So, would you be making the first move? You’ve changed a lot since the emboldened 19 year old you once were.
In conclusion, no. You will absolutely not be making the first move. You will just have to suck it up.
-
That Saturday night, Jungkook stays over at your place.
Nothing happens, of course, but that doesn’t mean that Jungkook doesn’t spoon you like a prison inmate incarcerated in his little Jungkook cell. He snores softly against the crook of your neck.
Living alone isn’t easy, especially as a 21 year old (subjectively hot) girl. You double lock your doors. You have a baseball bat with nails hidden in the depths of your closet. While Jungkook was in the army, you had Yeonjun, Soobin, and Beomgyu on speed dial just in case anything were to happen.
It was stressful, and it gave you crippling anxiety at times.
But Jungkook is your Prince Charming in every way, from the way he makes you feel, to the way he dotes on you, and to the way he protects you. Jungkook’s got big strong military muscles, and you know that he’d never let anything happen to you.
Since forever, he’s always casually swept you towards the inside of the sidewalk, stepped in front of you when a stranger approached, and of course you aren’t aware of this, but the reason those creepy frat boys started leaving you alone was because of him.
The sun rises, its sweet rays as warm as the feeling intensifying your chest. Jungkook’s arms are still draped on your sides, and you turn over so you can get a real good glimpse at his sleeping face.
So handsome. Jungkook is sleeping calmly, soft snores leaving his mouth, and it brings you so much joy to see him at peace.
You run a thumb over his brow, pressing a soft kiss to the area in between his eyebrows. Slowly, his eyes open, and he’s staring at you with lidded eyes, and you can’t fathom how handsome you think he is.
“G’morning baby,” he says in a soft voice, the grogginess of his morning voice making you gulp.
“Hi,” you sweetly respond, “Sorry for waking you. You can go back to sleep. It’s Sunday,” you say folding the comforter away from you to sneak out of bed.
Jungkook protests with a hum, “I want you to stay with me,” he mumbles.
“You don’t want breakfast?”
“Can’t sleep without you,” he responds, his chest rising slightly, which makes you pout.
“Alright.”
Peace. Serenity. Serendipity. Everything you’ve ever wanted. You’re so in love.
-
Later that day, you get an email from the company, which is surprising since it’s Sunday, but essentially, the email states that your department will be transferring to the new HYBE facility. You flip your phone to show Jungkook the screen, who is sitting across the table stuffing his face with noodles with a Snorlax headband in his hair.
On cue, Jungkook’s phone dings, and he pulls out his phone.
“Oh shit,” he says aloud, “Same.”
You’re a bit taken aback, “Are you serious?” you ask, scrambling to your feet before racing around the dining room to glimpse at Jungkook’s phone.
Dear Jungkook,
We're pleased to inform you that your department facilities are relocating to a new, improved location. This move is part of our ongoing commitment to efficiency and employee satisfaction…
You exchange glances with him, blinking at him momentarily before you speak.
“You’re going to get sick of me if you have to see me everyday,” you deadpan, prompting him to theatrically roll his eyes.
“You do analytics, I do software development. We’re not even going to be on the same floor,” he declares matter-a-factly, “You’ll probably be with… the marketing girls or something.”
“Oh really?” you muse, raising your brows, “You don’t want to see me at work? You’d rather be with those ‘marketing girls’?”
Jungkook purses his lips, staring at you unimpressed, before a smile spreads across his lips.
“If I see you at work,” he whispers, fingertips dancing along your thigh before his palms grasp the backs of your thighs, pulling you towards him, “I won’t be able to focus. I’d be too distracted keeping my eyes on the pretty girl from the Analytics department.”
You blush slightly, “Oh- oh, shut up.”
“What? It’s the truth. Either you or I have to quit, and it won’t be me. I have seniority over you.”
You know he’s joking, but the notion makes you scowl. You step out of his grasp, “That’s not funny,” you mutter, crossing your arms.
He shrugs, “I could really turn into the sugar daddy you’ve always dreamed about.”
“Don’t undermine me because I don’t have as much experience as you do,” you direct, to which Jungkook theatrically drops his jaw, rising to his feet.
You look him right in the eye, maintaining your glare as he starts to tower over you. “Oh c’mon baby, you know I didn’t mean it like that,” he comforts.
You shake your head, rolling your eyes, “Asshole,” you spit, stomping away from him, to which Jungkook follows.
“Seriously? I was joking!” he reasons, following you to your room. You walk into the bathroom, closing the door behind you and locking it before he can trail in your stead. At that, Jungkook scoffs, not believing that you were taking it this seriously.
He knocks on the door. “Y/N,” he calls, dragging out your name.
You don’t say anything, and he squeezes his eyes in defeat when he hears the sound of the shower starting, opting to slip into your bed whilst waiting for you to return. He sighs, running his hands over his face.
To be honest, Jungkook is a little triggered. He hates the whole silent treatment thing more than anything else. Last year, you ignored him for four months straight and it nearly killed him on the inside.
Minutes later, you emerge from the shower, one towel wrapped around your body and the other wrapped around your hair. You cross your arms, staring at him. The towel wrapped around your frame is loose, threatening to fall beneath the nipple.
Jungkook sighs, standing up and sauntering over. Your eyes are glossy, not from the water from the shower, and the tip of your nose is a cute shade of pink. Your features are twisted up into petulance, your lips displaying a subtle pout.
Seeing you in distress pains him too.
His gentle and careful fingers pull the towel above your breast. He knows you feel vulnerable and he doesn’t want you to inadvertently expose yourself and contribute to that vulnerability, his left hand rubbing your nape up and down gently. “What’s wrong, baby? Hm?” he inquires sweetly, bending over to draw your lips in for a honeyed kiss.
“I just–” you start, unable to meet his eyes as you crane your head the other way. Jungkook gently cradles your jaw, directing your focus back to him. Looking into his eyes, you choke up. “I just– I know you weren’t being serious, but I just feel belittled, like is my work so unserious that one day I’ll just end up being a trad wife or stay at home mom?”
Jungkook feels awful. He was already aware that you had some sort of inferiority complex when it came to him, and knowing that he fed into it makes him regret everything he’s ever said.
Jungkook opens and closes his mouth immediately, looking for the right words. He places both palms on your shoulders, “Shit. I’m sorry Y/N, I didn’t mean it that way at all,” he expresses, “I was just– I was just being a dick,” he says, pulling you in for a hug. “I don’t think of you that way at all,” he continues, “I mean– look at you. You’re 21 and you’re rich, you’ve got a good job. You’re up there with all these old people,” he jokes, eliciting a sweet giggle from your lips.
“I only said it because I love you and I like the thought of taking care of you,” he says, to which you squirm.
You squirm in place, looking the other way, “So are you mad at me? For ignoring you?” you sweetly beckon, and Jungkook draws your lips for another sweet kiss.
“No, baby. I’m thankful you said something, though,” he offers, continually rubbing your nape up and down.
“I can take care of you too,” you declare, “Remember? We’re equals now,” you express, standing on your tiptoes to press a kiss to his lips.
That night, Jungkook helps you change into your clothes, dries your hair, and rubs your skincare into your face. So delicate. So sweet
There’s something so wonderful about having someone you can confide in, communicate with, and love. Jungkook never judges you; all you have to do is explain how you feel and he’ll indulge you completely.
-
That doesn’t mean however, that Jungkook can’t be selfish, immature, or childish.
The night he confessed to you, he told you that he could be all those things, and to be honest, you’ve never really seen it directed towards you.
When he was a teenager, you saw him get mad at his parents when he was caught smoking for the first time. You were a kid, but you thought that was pretty childish.
Beyond that, Jungkook has always been chill, more laid back, and normal.
Not tonight, though.
“That was childish,” you deadpan from the passenger seat of his car.
Jungkook reaches over to place his palm on your thigh, to which you swat it away and lean as far as you can into the window.
Jungkook scoffs, “You’re calling me childish? Out of all people, you’re calling me childish?”
You cross your arms. “I am,” you respond, your voice firm and resolute.
You both were on your way back from the company party celebrating the merger. The company went all out, hosting the party at a luxury hotel, illuminating the hotel’s grand ballroom with twinkling chandeliers and neon signs displaying the company’s name.
You arrive as a pair, nothing too conspicuous for the sake of professionalism. You’re wearing a long sleeved dress, with Jungkook in a casual black button up and gray slacks.
You quickly separated to meet with your respective departments, and when you happened to pass by Jungkook’s department, he went out of his way to greet your coworkers, introducing himself to your department like he’s never seen you before in his life.
The other men in Jungkook’s department are quite put together. They seem like the type of people Jungkook would work with: young, objectively attractive, tech-nerds. You greet all of them with the same enthusiasm Jungkook greeted your department, knowing that they may be potential wedding guests.
At the moment, you aren’t quite able to recall their names but he works with six other guys. They didn’t really leave a lasting impression; they were kind, sweet, and polite, nothing out of the ordinary.
Notably, it was Mary– your kind, sweet, amazing 50-year old coworker and work bestie, who brought her son to the party. That was not something you were expecting, mostly because Mary always teased you about becoming her son-in-law, and you always entertained the notion, not expecting that you’d meet the man in person.
Mary’s son is in his early 30’s, and he is… nice.
He’s nice, he really is. He’s an intelligent, hard-working man. He takes care of his sweet mother, and for that, he is admirable, but you think there was some miscommunication there, because he is definitely under the impression that you are interested in him in some way, shape, or form, and you feel horrible about it, because you don’t think Mary knows you were playing around.
Mary's son leaned in with a charming smile. "So, what do you like to do outside of work?" he inquires, his gaze lingering on you with a subtle hint of interest.
You hesitate for a moment, "Oh, you know, the usual. I enjoy reading and hiking when I have the time," you reply cautiously.
Mary's son nods, his smile widening slightly. "Sounds like we have some common interests. Maybe we could do something together sometime.”
Your heart sinks at the implication of his words, but before you can respond, your big, hot, sexy boyfriend intervenes. Jungkook had his eye on you the entire night– nothing too conspicuous, but he made sure you were always within his field of peripheral vision.
Jungkook steps in, a champagne glass in hand. He playfully nudges Mary’s son and you squeeze your eyes shut, dreading what’s yet to come.
“Must be quite the occasion for you to be hitting on your mom’s coworkers,” he cuts in making you run your hands over your face, “Let me put you on to something else,” he continues, “I mean, you’re a handsome guy, and I know that there’s someone else more suitable for you than a 21 year old, alright bud?” he continues, throwing a casual arm around Mary’s son as he leads him elsewhere.
Okay, it wasn’t that bad.
But it was embarrassing.
Jungkook seemed polite, but his language was more than passive aggressive, and anyone who caught heed to the conversation tangibly felt it.
“I was literally being nice!” Jungkook rationalizes, his fingers tapping against the driver’s wheel, prompting you to huff in frustration.
“You should have let me handle it,” you respond, “I was going to turn him down. Next time, don’t do all that, alright?”
“You were not going to handle it,” he retorts, “You were mumbling– baby, you were blushing– definitely entertaining it,” he adds.
You shake your head, “That was my coworker’s son! If it was any other guy I would’ve told him to fuck off, but I had to be polite.”
“Yea, well, and if it was any other guy, I would’ve beaten the shit out of him so what’s your point?”
“Oh my gosh,” you express, face palming.
“C’mon baby, he was being totally predatory for hitting on his mom’s coworker,” Jungkook argues, “I didn’t even say anything that bad. Had a nice conversation with the guy.”
“It was childish, Jungkook,” you counter, “The fly on the wall could sense your passive aggression.”
“I’m such a big bad wolf for saving my girlfriend from a situation she was uncomfortable in. Aww,” he mocks a pout, dragging his pointer finger across his face to mimic a tear.
At that, you can’t help but scoff out laughter. “You’re so stupid,” you muse.
-
That situation was merely the tip of the iceberg.
You weren’t that angry; Mary’s son was out of line and it’s not like Jungkook said anything too egregious, but it’s the next day that Jungkook really shows you how immature you can be.
The following Monday is yours and Jungkook’s first day of work.
Jungkook is so in love, loves seeing you in a new light. It’s like there’s hearts in your eyes when you “coincidentally” run into each other in the second story printing room, finding the way you work when you’re in professional mode so sexy.
It’s like he has hearts in his eyes while he leans against the company’s wall, hands in his pockets while his eyes follow you from across the office, loving the way you simply walk around with a stack of paper in your hands.
That is, until the CEO of the fucking company starts hitting on you. That’s when his smile drops, and he removes his hands from the pockets. He instinctively steps forward to intervene yet again, until he remembers that this is actually work and that he can get both of you fired by doing anything too crazy.
“Quit your job,” Jungkook instructs the moment you get back to his place, causing you to almost drop your work bag onto the floor.
Maybe you didn’t hear him properly, “What’d you say?” you ask, taking off your shoes and joining him in the kitchen.
“Quit your job. I’ll help you find another one,” Jungkook suggests, rummaging through the fridge, as if it isn’t the most ridiculous idea you’ve heard in your life.
“I’m sorry babe. Can you repeat that one more time?”
“Quit your job, Y/N,” Jungkook finishes, slamming the fridge a little too hard. He’s clearly miffed. He’s doing that thing where he tongues the inside of his cheek. His eyebrows are in an angry V, and his chest is heaving up and down— and honestly, the fact that he’s angry calms you a little bit.
He’s just speaking from emotion, and now you need to be the voice of reason.
You force a smile, sneaking around to hug him from behind, resting your cheek against his mid-back.
“And why do you say that, honey? Hm?”
He swivels around, placing his palms on your shoulders. “Y/N, this isn’t funny. The CEO was being creepy as fuck. Turn in your resignation tomorrow, and I’ll start looking for another one. I’ll pay your bills until we can find you another job,” he states.
“C’mon babe,” you start, “the CEO was not being creepy. I’m the youngest at the company. He was just being nice.”
At that, Jungkook’s features scrunch in confusion, detecting any hint of sarcasm on your face. “You really think that?”
“I do.”
Jungkook sighs, “Y/N, rate yourself on a scale from 1-10, on societal standards of beauty. 10 being– like Anok Yai. Where do you stand? Be honest?”
The question is absurd, but you entertain it, putting your fingers on your chin while you genuinely contemplate the assertion.
“Maybe a 6?-”
“Okay, well, you’re an 11, and every guy feels that way. You don’t know how pretty you are and that’s my fault. I should tell you more, but baby– that’s how pretty you are. The CEO was hitting on you and I don’t want anything bad to happen to you, so quit your job.”
You stand there, processing his words, and while the sentiment is somewhat touching, you can’t lie and say that you aren’t the least bit upset, especially because you had this conversation about your work a few days ago.
“No,” is all you say.
“No?” Jungkook challenges.
“No,” you confirm, “I’m not going to quit my job. The CEO hasn’t done anything,” you reason, gesturing with your hands, “If he gets out of line, we can consider reporting him, but I’m not going to quit my job.”
“Okay, fair,” Jungkook says putting his hands up, and you smile, thinking that this conversation is over until he continues.
“But why would you wait for something bad to happen? Isn’t that totally absurd? I don’t want to wait for it to happen. Let’s play it safe.”
You sigh, “I see what you’re saying, I really do. But I don’t think anything is going to happen. I think you’re overreacting…”
Jungkook pauses, tonguing the inside of his cheek before a sly smile dances across his lips. “Overreacting, huh?”
“Um, yea,” you confirm, “Why would I quit my job? I’d lose all my connections. I mean– this is the only real employment I’ve had. Besides internships, I’d have nothing to put on my resume.”
Jungkook nods, understanding.
What he really wants to say is “Babe, just quit your job and I’ll make all the money. You’ll never have to work a day in your life and then we’ll retire early and travel the world together with our kids and-”
But that’s totally patronizing, but hey, he can’t help himself if he feels that way.
“So what do we do, babe? The CEO is in a position of power. I just don’t want you to be taken advantage of,” Jungkook expresses, his eye twitching.
What he really wants to say is “I literally saw the CEO’s dick getting hard while he talked to you and if I could, I’d shoot his entire office up-”
But of course, he would never utter the sentiment aloud.
“If it gets to that, we could report him for sexual harassment,” you ponder.
Jungkook nods in agreement, but you and he both understand the implications of reporting your CEO for something like that. Women always get the short end of the stick. People would probably accuse you of lying, the CEO would leverage his resources to legally ruin you, and you both could lose your job security.
Jungkook doesn’t want to even let it get to that point, and he’s trying his best to respect your autonomy, but it bothers him, it really does.
He inhales deeply, finding peace in the way your fingertips dance under his skirt, caressing his abs before you pull him in for a hug. “Nothing is going to happen, baby,” you comfort, “Everything will be alright, I promise.”
-
Indeed, everything is not alright, because the CEO repeatedly calls you into his office for some inconspicuous reasons, and you’re suddenly starting to understand where Jungkook is coming from.
Your only solace is that Jungkook is around the corner. Today, he’s wearing a suit and tie, his wire-framed glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose. He looks exceptionally sexy today, his long legs accentuated by his suit and his hair swept back to show his sexy forehead.
You put your phone down, looking up right when the elevator doors open to reveal a handsome, suit-clad Jungkook.
“Hello Mr. Jeon,” you express, a smile dancing on your lips when you bow to him and saunter into the elevator.
“Hello Ms. L/N,” Jungkook responds matter-a-factly, pushing up his glasses on his nose, “Strange running you into here.”
You bite back a giggle, “Yea, that is indeed strange. How is work for you, sir?”
“Oh work’s alright. The team is-”
And just like that your lips are on his, and he’s devouring you completely. Your legs wrap around his waist as he hoists you up, pressing you against the elevator doors as he sloppily and messily kisses you. Tongue in your mouth, teeth clashing, his groin grinds against the area between your thighs, inducing you to moan into his mouth while Jungkook continues licking into you and–
Ding! The elevator dings and you and Jungkook instantly scramble apart, resulting in you running to the other side of the elevator, smoothing out your skirt while you catch your breath. You cough, hand coming at ease in front of you while you stare at the floor. Jungkook behaves similarly, pushing up his glasses while he clears his throat and straightens his tie.
A second later, the elevator doors open, and more office workers pool in. You and Jungkook greet them politely, feigning innocence and ignorance.
The next day, something similar transpires.
You’re wearing a long, red skirt, a white blouse, and you have a white ribbon in your hair. You love work because it grants you opportunities to put together cute, modest outfits, and apparently, Jungkook likes it too, because you always catch him looking.
He checks you out quite noticeably, his eyes shamelessly scanning up and down your frame as he bites his lips. Your cheeks flush, and you take a moment before you sheepishly step into the elevator.
“H-hello, Mr. Jeon,” you greet.
“Hi Ms. Y/N. How are negotiations with your new client going?” he asks, adjusting his tie.
“They’re going great, sir-”
And like that, he closes the distance, cradling your jaw before leaning in for a kiss. His hands salaciously trail down to your behind, giving it a light squeeze, causing you to gasp in his mouth. He takes that as an opportunity to push his tongue into your mouth, causing you to moan as your tongues rub against each other and-
Ding!
Once again, you scramble apart, separating towards each end of the elevator, recomposing yourselves while more people pool in.
Not a soul would know what really transpires in the elevator everyday at 3:00 PM.
-
Unless there were cameras in the elevator.
Which there were.
Which is crazy because of course there are cameras in the elevator, and quite honestly, you and Jungkook were probably aware of that in the back of your minds, but who cares? Making out with him everyday in the elevator at 3:00 PM is hot and it’s what gets you through the work day (until 3 PM)
You and Jungkook get Cc'd the same email from HR.
Dear Employees,
I hope this email finds you well. We need to discuss an incident observed via security cameras in the elevator involving two employees engaging in intimate behavior. This is a violation of company policies on workplace conduct. Please attend a meeting with HR to address this matter.
Oh shit.
You and Jungkook wait outside the conference room to talk to the HR. You blink at each other, and honestly you want to burst into giggles, but the conference room is made of glass and you aren’t really sure who’s watching.
The HR Manager, a tall lanky man, steps from the office and invites you in.
The meeting isn’t awkward at all— in fact, it’s more straight to the point. Essentially, the HR manager says something along the lines of “You’re free to date in the office, but no PDA. We don’t encourage dating because we want our employees to focus on work. I know you guys are amongst the youngest in the office, so if you want to do–erm— that, then you can go somewhere else during lunch.”
Both you and Jungkook profusely apologize, promise it won’t happen again, and then are off on your ways.
Funnily enough, the CEO stopped approaching you and calling you to his office so yea, neither of you quit your jobs, and Jungkook was overreacting, a little bit.
-
Now, the real question remains.
How do your friends feel about your relationship with Jungkook?
They want to see you happy, always, so that aspect brings them joy, but it’s important to address how things change.
Before, Jungkook was the unattainable, hotter, older man that all your friends told you to get a grip over because there was just no way he’d ever reciprocate your feelings. But now, things are different.
If Jungkook is your boyfriend, that means he’s your equal… so if your friends are your equal, does that mean Jungkook is equal to your friends? It’s just the transitive property of equality. If a = b, and b = c, then a =c.
But that’s weird.
You know you shouldn’t be making a big deal of it, but your friends are like little piggies and Jungkook is the wolf. There’s no way all of you could hang out at the same time without it being weird, because every time Jungkook has interacted with your friends in the past, it’s always been in a big brotherly way, not a friend way.
On top of that, Jungkook has never officially met Heeseung or Sunghoon, and he is very much aware that Sunghoon was interested (and potentially still could be) in you, which is probably why you all are sitting around the sushi table in awkward silence.
Soobin is hyperfocused on his the wrapper of his chopsticks, Beomgyu is repeatedly dipping his chopsticks into the Miso soup to lick at, Yunjin already excused herself to the restroom, and Heeseung is just staring at Jungkook in awe, which is understandable, because your boyfriend looks exceptionally handsome today.
Yeonjun is probably the only one who can carry the conversation, mostly because he’s the most closely acquainted with Jungkook and his family.
You elbow Yeonjun softly and he clears his throat, “So, um– Jungkook. Does your family still think Y/N and I are together? Or have you already told them that you’re dating?”
Soobin finally says something, “Wait, why would Jungkook’s family think that you and Y/N are dating?”
“Just because I brought him to a couple family events, and they got the wrong idea,” you respond, delicately tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.
“We haven’t let them know yet,” Jungkook answers, stretching out his upper body, “I don’t think that conversation will go over smoothly because of the… age difference.”
Yeonjun nods, understanding, “Yea, and your little cousin might be upset about it too,” he adds.
“Oh yea,” Jungkook smiles, addressing the table, “My little cousin is six years old and he’s got the biggest crush on Y/N. He probably won’t talk to me for a year once he finds out,” Jungkook says with a light laugh.
Oh my gosh. This is so awkward. You inwardly cringe, but leave it to Beomgyu to ease the atmosphere.
“It’s alright,” Beomgyu adds, “If you didn’t want her, Y/N would have just waited for your cousin to grow up cause at least the cousin likes her-”
You reach over the table to swat at his bicep.
At that moment, the side dishes arrive: perilla leaves, radish kimchi, steamed egg, pickled cucumbers, and spicy bean sprouts.
Thank goodness the food is here, you think, even if it’s just side dishes. Yunjin returns from the restroom, seemingly renewed as she takes the space between you and Yeonjun, and she starts talking.
“You know, Jungkook,” she starts, “Y/N really loves you. I, for one, am happy that you’re together. She’s been non-stop talking about you since high school. She showed up at my house crying when she heard you were bringing your girlfriend to Thanksgiving-”
You nudge Yunjin, a nonverbal cue to tell her to shut up.
Jungkook awkwardly laughs, “Yea, I know Y/N had a crush on me when she was younger but I didn’t realize until a couple years ago… Anyways, Y/N’s not the same person she was when she was a high schooler. I fell in love with her after she turned 19, of course.”
“But isn’t that still a problem?” Sunghoon challenges, and your face almost drops.
You know where this is going.
“You knew her since she was a little kid, so isn’t it kinda weird for you to date her?” he asks. The question is innocent, and it’s a valid question, but you can’t help but squeeze your eyes shut in anticipation of Jungkook’s answer.
“Some would say that,” Jungkook responds, “But our relationship isn’t about who she was. It doesn’t matter to me that she had a crush on me when she was younger, it’s about who she is now, and I love her as she is,” he finishes with a smile.
Sunghoon nods, “That makes sense,” he shrugs. At that moment, you use your chopsticks to pick up the perilla leaves, which are, of course, stuck together. Sunghoon casually reaches out with his chopsticks, separating the leaves and plopping one into his mouth.
You freeze, and you do what you should, placing the perilla leaf over Jungkook’s bowl of rice, and he almost immediately uses his spoon to swallow the perilla leave along with a spoonful of rice.
No one seems to notice, and the conversation continues.
“So what’s it like working with your girlfriend?” Heeseung asks casually, and the conversation continues, taking an upward trajectory, the atmosphere finally settling down.
-
“He still likes you, Y/N,” Jungkook says matter-a-factly, hanging up his coat in his closet while you take off your shoes by the front door.
You tilt your head, genuinely confused, “Who?”
“Sunghoon.”
You shake your head, dismissing the notion, “No, that was in the past. I heard he has a girlfriend now.”
You join Jungkook in his bedroom and he’s staring at you incredulously. “Are you serious?” Jungkook asks, causing you to scoff, “Of course I am!” you retaliate, “He’s over me. I turned him down straight up; I didn’t even entertain his feelings for me. I told him I was in love with you, remember?”
Jungkook's expression softens, and he takes a seat on his bed, “I know baby, but I’m just saying that he still likes you. Remember what I said?-”
“About me being an 11?” you question, amused, “Yea, nobody thinks that except for you,” you confirm with a nod, taking a seat on his lap when he opens his arms for you.
Jungkook shakes his head, “I’m not saying it’s anything bad, and I’m not saying I don’t trust you, but I just want you to know that he still likes you. He even tried to give you an indirect kiss,” he says, nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck.
You raise a brow at him, giggling at the tickling sensation of his lips ghosting across the sensitive areas of your neck, “An indirect kiss?”
“Yes,” Jungkook confirms, “An indirect kiss– the perilla leaf?”
You shake your head. You immediately recall a stupid conversation Jungkook had with his friends. “They peel off one perilla leaf, next thing you know, they’re holding hands, and fall in love, and they end up getting married!” is what he said, causing his friends to roll their eyes.
You place a chaste kiss on his lips, “You’re stupid,” you giggle.
He looks at you knowingly. Jungkook isn’t per se, worried about you and Sunghoon. He knows Sunghoon’s a respectful enough kid to not make a move, and he trusts you with his entire heart, soul, and being. He just wants you to know that Sunghoon most likely still harbors something for you.
Of course he would. Like Jungkook said, you’re an 11.
-
The delicacy of his feelings for you seeps into everything he does, especially when you’re sick.
Nestled with your head cradled in the curve of his arm, he gently massages your temples with his right hand, ensuring the damp cloth on your forehead remains refreshingly cool, soothing your feverish brow.
You're drifting into slumber, your eyes half-closed as you softly shift against his embrace. With him around, with his fingers assuaging the ache in your temples, you finally feel safe enough, protected enough to lose yourself in your own vulnerability and drift into dreamland.
Later that day, you wake up with Jungkook right by your side. His eyes are on the TV and when he hears your soft mumbles, he welcomes you back to Earth.
“Kiss me please,” comes out in a soft whimper. You’re barely coherent and you’re asking for a kiss? That’s the cutest fucking thing on the history of the Earth, and Jungkook’s heart clenches. You’re so sweet, so precious, and he’ll gladly oblige.
He pulls you onto him so you’re lying directly onto him, your boobs pressed against his chest and your stomach pressed against his.
He kisses you sweetly, indulging you completely while your tongues intertwine, and he sighs into your mouth blissfully.
At that moment, you hear the sound of a thud hitting the floor. You and Jungkook whip your heads towards the sound– it’s his parents.
“J-Jeon Jungkook! What do you think you’re doing?!” his mother shrieks.
-
#jungkook fanfic#jungkook scenarios#bts scenarios#jungkook fluff#jungkook texts#jungkook imagines#jungkook x reader#jk fanfic#bts fanfic
138 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi roman. I know this is very weird, but i've seen you give some life advice to other people, so i thought i could give it a try too. Don't answer if you don't want to. Anyway
Do you have any advice/tips for a 15 y/o who thinks they just have no control over their life? Like, my concentration is dog shit, i think my grades are slipping. My executive dysfunction so bad and i think i'm disappointing a lot of people. I have no idea how to handle anything in my life. I can't force myself to do the things i need to (not that that'd be any good, i'll immediately cry lol). I just, don't fucking know how i could make things better for myself. And i can't really talk to adults about it, they'll repeat the stuff i already know, and i am the worst person to put their feelings into words, so they'll prob never understand. Not in the edgy way.
Yeah so sorry for half venting into your ask box. Thank you in advance if you'll answer it, if it's too weird and you don't want to do that for whatever reason, that's ok. Peace and love <3
Dude, you’re unfortunately suffering from being 15. And possibly a learning disorder. Godspeed to you.
And I don’t say that to belittle your problems. In many ways as a teenager you don’t have control over a lot of things. You’re still under the control of your parents, you’re still learning how to deal with adult level emotions and ideas. A lot is expected of you and a lot of things are made to seem more important than they are. It’s hard to tell what’s actually important and what’s just adults blowing things out of proportion. It sucks and it’s frustrating!
If you can, you might want to talk to a counselor. If your parents or guardians are anti-counseling you might try to talk to someone at your school like a teacher or administrator or school nurse about the possibility of getting counseling without your parents knowing. Some schools have programs like that.
The adults closest to you might not understand but if you keep looking you’ll eventually find someone who remembers what it’s like to be in your shoes.
And I remember fully feeling like I’d never get control over anything. The end goal of life was graduation from high school and god only knows if I keep existing after that. But the thing is, you do! You keep existing and you figure a lot of stuff out. Wisdom does come with time, it turns out. And legally and practically you end up getting a lot more autonomy as time goes on.
And I know hearing things like this might not feel comforting. When you’re stuck, you’re stuck and no matter how much you logically know it’ll get better right now it sucks.
Just find ways to keep going. And try asking for help sometimes. If your family won’t listen, find someone who will. Take the time to write down your problems and how you feel if you can’t come up with explanations of what’s going on. Or find a friend to talk it out with so you can practice explaining yourself.
If there’s one thing I can promise you, when you’re a couple years into adulthood all of the problems from your teenage years start to feel small. At the time they were big and important though. And that’s what you’re going through right now. And a lot of adults forget about that. Hang in there, and when all of this is behind you, remember how hard it was and maybe someday you can help someone like you.
I’m sorry if all that wasn’t helpful. I don’t know too much about your individual situation. But ask for help when you can. Someone out there understands. You’ll find them.
134 notes
·
View notes
Text
˚₊‧⁺⋆༄
dearest pt.II
first part ˗ˏˋ here ˎˊ˗
pairing: Vamp!Tomas x reader
wc: 7k
warnings: 18+ only, smut, mentions of injuries, blood drinking, cunnilingus, fingering, multiple orgasms, p in v sex, minor cumplay, -- like tiniest amount, afab!reader, no pronouns or y/n used, pet names used; dear/dearest
a/n; i hope you enjoy it !!! i know this took a while for me to finish and i'm thankful to you all for being so patient !!! <333
MDNI | SMUT UNDER CUT
Most of your day is spent being anxious about Tomas’ promise to return tonight, you don’t know what he’s expecting, or if he’s expecting anything at all. Last night… sleeping with him was stupid, he’s not even really Tomas, you mean… he is… but he’s not. What even is his end game here, was it to sleep with you? Does he plan on killing you? And what is your end game? Surely you can’t leave him like this… you don’t want to leave him like this, you miss your Tomas.
The way you’re feeling is getting hazy and the lines are blurring, you’ve grown too attached to someone who isn’t even their original self. How would Tomas feel when he comes back, only to see you left him like that for so long, would he still look at you the way he used to? With kindness and adoration, or would he condemn you and tell you that you’ve broken his trust. These thoughts that plague you are debilitating, whatever you decide to do, you need to do it soon. Maybe you’ll be able to talk to him tonight… or maybe that’s not a great idea.
A knock on your door startles you out of your thoughts, looking to the clock you can see it’s about the time Kuai Liang visits everyday but when you open it, the only person in front of you is Harumi.
“Hi! It’s just me today, Kuai is a little bit busy but I’d like to chat, we’ve not spoken in a while,” she smiles at you, it’s kind but also mildly strained.
You eye her for a few moments, feeling uneasy by her lack of explanation and Kuai’s lack of presence, “…Yeah, uhh… come on in,” you say, stepping off to the side to let her into your home.
She brushes past you and moves to the small dining table, sitting as she asks, “How have you been?”
Lingering awkwardly, you answer, “I have been… fine I guess,” you pass her on the way into the kitchen, “Tea?”
“Yes, thank you,” she fiddles with her fingers against the table and quietly waits for you to return with tea, not speaking again until you’re done in the kitchen and sitting across from her, “I just wanted to come by and check on you, make sure you’re… well,” she blows on her drink, watching you carefully.
“I’ve been fine, not great but nothing has changed since yesterday,” you’re lying through your teeth, you just hope she doesn’t notice.
She has come here for a reason today and you aren’t quite sure what it is but she knows something, you can only hope she doesn’t know about Tomas visiting you nightly. The reactions you’d get from her, from everyone, well, to be quite honest are frightening to think about. You’ve waited so long now and there isn’t any real or good reason as to why – besides the fact that you enjoy Tomas and all of his attention, foolishly, you like him.
This visit is incredibly uncomfortable, you know why you’re uncomfortable but you can’t figure out why she’s uncomfortable. It’s been a good few moments now, of her trying to think of something to say and failing.
Your patience is growing thin and as you sigh, you decide to be blunt, “Has something happened, Harumi? You seem to be worrying about something.”
Her eyes grow wide for a second before she collects herself, “No, nothing has happened… I guess I’m just worried over Tomas, I’m not supposed to tell you… but he’s been moving closer to the village, I’m just a little concerned for you.”
If you hadn’t known her for so long, you’d believe her but she’s still withholding something from you. It is an incredibly good cover though, “I am not worried, I can take care of myself,” you offer in an attempt to ease her nerves, she’s lying but she’s still genuinely concerned for you, you believe that much.
She smiles appreciatively at you but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes, “Thank you,” she murmurs, taking a sip of her drink.
The visit isn’t long, she doesn’t linger like Kuai Liang does, she came to check on you, have a small chat and then she’s out the door. It’s something you value about her, not really being one to linger yourself. It’s not often she drops by on her own though, her solo visit has raised alarm bells in your mind.
You’re on edge for the rest of the day, leg bouncing anytime you try to sit still, too much anxious energy pent up inside you. You can’t focus enough to do anything though, nothing holding your attention long enough to forget about your situation. The day can’t go by slow enough, you want it to hurry up so you can see Tomas and talk to him, maybe he has answers, or will be able to offer you some comfort… wait, since when did you start seeking him for comfort?
˚₊‧⁺⋆༄
Frustratedly, Tomas did not come by last night like he had promised, you waited, even stayed up significantly longer than you usually do, only for him to neglect to visit. It’s not characteristic of him, not when he’s made it an active habit to see you every night for the past few months. For him to suddenly stop out of nowhere, it hurts if you’re honest. It hurts because it feels like he’s gotten what he wanted from you, like he’s lost interest suddenly after fucking you.
Though, it’s suspicious too, especially since Kuai Liang also neglected to come by, sending Harumi in his steed. The lack of communication here is annoying and there isn’t a damn thing you can do to fix it, having to just deal with it whether you want to or not. It’s not like you can ask anyone if they’ve seen Tomas and you certainly can’t ask Kuai, not when he doesn’t even visit.
You’re feeling a little aimless and still on edge, it feels like every muscle in your body is wound tight and like you’re ready to fight back against anything that could give you a mild fright. You can’t sit in your house all day again, you’re going to go stir crazy, you might start bouncing off the walls. Instead of rotting away in your house, you wander around the village, even visiting people you’ve not spoken to in months, not since Tomas’ original disappearance.
It's nice but by the time you’re done, there is a significant amount of day left and you’re still high strung. This is frustrating you to no end, so you choose to go for a walk, not particularly enjoying the thought of it, only hoping it will expend enough energy and that you’ll be too tired to continue to be anxious.
Walking is honestly, annoying, it feels pointless, you know it isn’t and that there are benefits, you just personally feel no benefits from it. You don’t experience the mental clarity; you experience mental irritability. Almost as soon as you start, you want to stop but you’re determined to waste your time, maybe if this irritates you enough, you’ll be too focused on being annoyed to remember everything else.
You can’t be sure how much time passes, but you sure are irritated, instead of forgetting things though, it’s just piling all together. Frustration reaching a new point, you want to scream and kick your legs and have a full-blown tantrum but you just keep going, keep moving forward. You… aren’t used to feeling this uncertain for this long, normally you know what the right thing to do is and maybe if you were being honest with yourself, you’d realise you already know what the right thing to do is but just because it’s the right thing… doesn’t mean it’s easy.
When you finally turn around and head back home, you’re sufficiently tired by the time you walk through the front door. The first thing you do is head for the shower, washing the day away before collapsing onto the couch, it doesn’t take long for sleep to find you. It isn’t intentional but you also don’t really mind, happy that you’re finally exhausted enough to sleep at all.
˚₊‧⁺⋆༄
It’s been a couple more days now and you still haven’t heard from Tomas, at first it mostly hurt and was vaguely concerning, now it’s starting to just feel concerning. You’ve seen Kuai Liang once, he visited yesterday quickly, to check in on you but he seemed… similar to how Harumi was acting, like he knows something that he’s keeping from you. No one is saying anything to you, so you’re taking things into your own hands. Maybe visiting people again and talking to them will result in some kind of gossip, someone has to have seen something helpful.
Being nosey proves to be fruitful, people tell you little tidbits and what you’ve gathered is – Kuai Liang has seemed on edge the past few days, he has recently asked people if they’ve seen anything unusual, and has been searching the nearby land a lot more frequently. You don’t have to be a genius to figure out he’s had some kind of run in with Tomas, whether he actually made contact or only saw him, you have no way of knowing but you know he’s clearly had some kind of confirmation of his proximity to the village and he must have witnessed his presence himself for it to have affected him this much.
Knowing Kuai has seen Tomas is worrisome, you don’t think Kuai will hurt his brother, he believes he can be helped. It’s Tomas who might react more…violently, he’s not adverse to injuring people, he’s grievously hurt some people just to make a point. To completely dismiss the idea of him harming Kuai Liang would be foolish, though it seems Tomas is avoiding him at the moment so you can be thankful for that much, he’s not actively aiming to attack him. Small miracles or whatever, you just hope Tomas comes by soon… you’re worried about him, the hurt you felt has passed, especially since it seems like he’s been avoiding getting too close because of Kuai Liang, at least… that’s what you’re telling yourself, until proven wrong.
The sun has gone down by the time you get home, though it’s not quite late, you just spent a lot of the daylight in the village, you think you’re finding joy in talking with people again. That or you’ve been feeling lonely since you’ve been getting less visitors lately. Brushing off the thought, you commence your nightly routine of showering and cooking dinner for yourself.
It’s not until after dinner that you’re graced by Tomas’ presence, you’re washing up in the kitchen when you hear thumping as he stumbles into your house. It makes you jump, all the noise he makes as he clumsily enters your home.
“Tomas! What the hell? Where have you–” moving closer, you take in the state of him, “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m all good,” he smiles at you, “How have you been?”
He looks really tired, “I’ve been…” you frown deeply as you remember how you’ve been, “I’ve been worried! What happened to you for the past few days?”
He looks guilty, well… as guilty as he can manage, “A lot happened, I–”
“–You slept with me and then disappeared for three whole days,” you cross your arms, still eyeing him carefully, concerned.
“Yes, I see how it may look like that,” he scratches the back of his neck.
Your eyes scrutinise him, “It doesn’t just look like that, that is objectively what happened.”
“From your perspective yes, but a lot… a lot happened, I didn’t mean to leave you hanging… I just couldn’t get close enough to see you again,” he sighs, dejectedly.
You cross your arms, sizing him up, “Well, now that you’re here, can you explain what has happened?”
“I can, I just need to sit down or something,” he rubs at his eyes.
There is something definitely wrong with him, he looks exhausted, you don’t think he could look any worse, “…Yeah, just… lay down on the couch, I’ll get some extra blankets.”
“I won’t need them,” he reminds.
You pause, “Maybe not for warmth but the comfort would be nice… right?”
He smiles at you softly, so slight that you wouldn’t notice if you didn’t watch him so closely, “Sure.” You know he’s lying for your sake, but you’ll get him the blankets anyways.
When you come back into the living room, Tomas has made himself comfortable on your couch, you go to give him the blankets and his hand brushes yours as he takes them. You aren’t sure if he’s going to use them or not, but he unfolds one and stretches it out over himself, he’s quite large under the small throw blanket, not that he seems to mind. He uses the other to prop his head up on the arm of the couch, he looks a little ridiculous actually, his feet don’t fit under the throw and his head does not look comfortable like that.
You frown at him but there’s an amused smile ghosting your lips, Tomas looks at you, “What?”
“You look ridiculous… you don’t have to use the blankets if you’re uncomfortable,” you move to sit in the armchair facing him.
He frowns, his tone defensive, “No, I will be using them.”
Lightly huffing an amused breath, you say, “Alright! I’m not stopping you…” You let him settle in some more before asking again, in a polite way, “…What happened, Tomas?”
His eyes flick to yours quickly before looking straight ahead, “I ran into Kuai Liang…after I left yours.
You stay silent, mostly because you’re thinking too many things to be able to pick which question you should ask first and you’re hoping he’ll offer that information on his own. But the silence persists, he just lays there, his eyes closing as he sinks further into your couch.
He must feel your increasingly aggravated staring though because he sighs, “We fought.”
The annoyance you’re feeling towards him increases tenfold, “Why are you withholding? Just tell me everything that happened–”
“–Why?” He glances over to you, smirk plastered on his face, “You worried about me? You care about me, about my safety?”
The urge to roll your eyes is strong but you worry that if you give into that urge now, they’ll permanently be placed at the back of your head by the time this conversation is finished, “More worried about what you may have done.”
He huffs at you, amused by your inability to admit you care for him, “Kuai Liang is fine, I had a feeling if anything happened to him you would get upset so I played defence, I didn’t even hurt him… that bad… I think.”
Your tone is flat, “Are you kidding?”
He blinks at you, “I don’t think so.”
When you saw Kuai he seemed fine, so you’re going to assume if he was hurt, it really wasn’t that bad but that doesn’t mean you’re elated by all of this. In fact, you’d say you’re pretty well on your way to being pissed off right about now, you can feel your eyebrow beginning to twitch.
“Okay, listen… before you get upset, just know I really did try my best to avoid a fight,” he moves to try and sit up but winces as he does, only making it about halfway up.
Frowning, you move over to him, kneeling on the floor, “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine, don’t worry about it,” his hand holds over his stomach as he continues to sit up, his legs still laying across the length of the couch.
You’re beginning to get exasperated, “Okay… so, am I not worrying about it or are you fine?”
He pinches his brows, “Both.”
He’s frustrating you and he knows it, you tug at his clothes to try and see what may have happened, “Stop being annoying and–”
“–You know…if you wanted me to undress for you, all you had to do was ask,” he throws that smug smile your way and you feel like you might start vibrating with your irritation.
Tugging your hands back, you slump to the floor beside him, “Tomas please– just let me look at you…”
“Listen.” He waits for you to look him in the eyes again before continuing, “When I ran into Kuai we fought and I was focused on not hurting him… he nicked me is all, it really isn’t bad.”
You’re confused, “That was days ago… why aren’t you healed yet?”
He looks away from you, “It’s not important.”
Thinking on it, you realise it’s pretty clear why he’s not healing, “Tomas…”
“I’m fine,” he asserts.
You place your hand on his, “You could be finer though… I can help.”
His voice is firm, “No.”
He’s back to annoying you, “Why not?” You whinge slightly, hand tugging away in your irritation.
He sighs heavily, “You don’t know what you’re offering.”
You don’t appreciate his tone, “I’m fairly certain I do.”
He repeats his previous sentiments with a simple, “You don’t.”
You spell it out for him, to show him you do understand, “I’m offering to help you heal faster by letting you drink my blood, there isn’t much to not get–”
He’s growing frustrated with you now, “–You aren’t understanding the gravity of letting me do that.”
You understand his trepidations, but you want to help, “…Tomas–”
“–What if I can’t control myself? You are literally the last person I’d ever want to hurt…” He’s frowning to himself, agonising over the thought.
Reaching out, you go to touch him on his arm again, attempting to offer comfort but it only makes him tense in response, “I want to help and… I trust you.”
“You shouldn’t.” He looks you straight in your eyes, his brow set, tone serious, “You’re not understanding just how good you smell to me,” you have a feeling, that if he could manage it, he’d walk away from you.
His words effect you in a way they probably shouldn’t, at least not in this moment anyways, you push away the feelings swirling in your stomach and refocus, “Let me at least see how bad you’re hurt then.”
The hardness in his eyes softens and he nods, a good choice because you were not about to let this go. He moves to sit on the couch properly, no longer laying across it and you stand to help him undress his upper half. You try to be careful, but he still winces at some movements made, his discomfort more apparent now that he’s not trying to hide it from you. Once you’ve managed to get his layers off, you shuffle to sit beside him and look him over, he lets you get your eyeful.
It's honestly not as bad as you were picturing, still not great, if he were human you’d be running to get your first aid kit, but you know of a quicker and hassle-free way to have this fixed fairly soon.
He must feel how hard you’re thinking because he says, “I’m good, it’s fine.”
“Doesn’t look fine,” you quirk a single brow at him.
He keeps a straight face, “Well…” He looks down at his wound and then back at you, “It is.”
“I don’t want to keep going round like this, you’re being unnecessarily stubborn, let me help or I’ll…” You pause to think of a good threat.
He just smiles smugly at you, waiting for your threat patiently, nodding his head in encouragement.
“I’ll…” You look at him sternly, “I’ll never let you touch me again.”
“Well, that seems like an overreaction,” his expression is still overwhelmingly amused, not taking you seriously at all.
You huff out a sigh and slump slightly, “I just want to help.”
“I know you do,” his hand reaches out to cradle the side of your face, “But it’s not necessary.”
Leaning into his touch, you offer a different perspective, “If the roles were reversed and I was the one who was hurt, would you be so quick to give up your argument and not help?”
“I don’t think that’s the same,” he defends himself, badly.
You go to argue with him, but he predicts that move and instead kisses you, he’s gentle about it, kissing you sweetly for only a moment before pulling back. Frowning, you try to remember what you were going to say, “Tomas… seriously, just bite me.”
He hums at you, “No,” he murmurs, moving in to kiss you again.
You stop him, holding a finger to his lips, “I want you to bite me.”
“You into that sort of thing?” He speaks against your finger.
Choosing to fuck with him, you reply, “Yes.”
He groans at you, “You make everything difficult.”
You drop your finger, “Me!?” You’re shocked by his audacity to accuse you of being difficult when this conversation could’ve ended ages ago.
“Yes, you,” he grumbles out mildly annoyed, before pressing his lips onto yours again, this time less gentle about it all.
His kiss is deep and unapologetic, his tongue licks into your mouth, you moan at his forcefulness. The hand on your face tilts your head so he can have more access to you, his other hand gropes at the fat of your hip, wanting to tug you closer, he wants you in his lap.
Parting from him, you voice concern, “Tomas, I don’t think I should sit on you, right now.”
“I disagree, in fact I think you should always sit on me,” he tries to pull you onto him more.
You place your hands on his shoulders, “No, Tomas, seriously, I’m worried about hurting you–”
“–It’d be worth it,” he smiles but you frown at him, and he drops his smile, instead offering, “It’s fine, you’re not going to hurt me.”
You insist, “I don’t want to risk–”
He gets sick of this back and forth and cuts you off by moving you into his lap with ease, apparently his initial attempts were just for show. “I’m not made of glass,” he leans in close, his lips brushing your cheek, “I could still fuck you stupid.”
Deciding to spin this in your favour, you say, “If you want to do anything more than just kiss me, you’ll have to bite me.”
“I really don’t want to hurt you, dear,” his thumb brushes high on your cheekbone.
“This is my first, final, and only offer, if you want to… go any further tonight, you’ll have to drink from me,” you shrug, playing at indifference despite knowing he’s done an exceptional job at making you wet without trying very hard.
Dropping his hands to your thighs, he shuts his eyes and sighs, his head leaning onto the back of the couch.
Cruelly, you grind your cunt down into his pelvis, hoping to incite some kind of reaction, this is quickly changing from wanting to help heal him, to wanting him to bite you while plowing into you. His response is a deep groan and his fingers gripping your thighs harshly, his dick jerking underneath you.
He opens his eyes to look at you, “You’re not playing fairly.”
Quirking a brow at him, you ask, “Would you?”
“Of course not,” he smiles, leaning up again, “But you know… you’re giving away your intentions.”
You feign ignorance, “I’ve not a clue as to what you’re referring.”
“Keep going, keep rubbing your pretty, little cunt down into me and we’ll see who ends up more affected,” he hums, “But remember… I can smell you,” he moves his lips to the side of your ear, “And dear, you smell divine.”
You don’t move, mostly out of spite, he’s overly confident and there’s good reason for it but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t piss you off, just a little bit, “I’m not doing a single thing.”
His forehead drops to your shoulder and his hands rub up and down your thighs, a faint humming leaving him in thought. Turning his head to the side, he licks along the expanse of your neck, when he reaches your jaw, he presses a small kiss to it. Trailing his lips back to yours but you turn your head just before he can kiss your lips and he huffs a sigh in response.
“I can’t even kiss you now?” He questions.
You pout, looking away from him, “No.”
Sighing, he asks, “You want me to bite you this bad?”
Turning back to face him, you add, “Please?”
“Fuuck–” his brows pull together in thought for a moment, “Fine.” You go to celebrate your win, but he cuts you off, “But you need to tell me if it hurts, or if you’re dizzy or if you just don’t want me touching you anymore, okay?”
“Okay,” you smile at him.
He looks worried, like he’s still not sure if this is a good idea, “Alright, just… relax for me.”
“I am relaxed,” you reach out with both your hands and cradle his face, “You need to relax,” leaning in, you press a chaste kiss to his lips before pulling back and waiting for him to bite you.
He takes a breath, “Kiss me again?”
Moving your hands to his shoulders, you lean in again to kiss him, you mean for it to be quick, but he lightly grabs the side of your neck and pulls you closer, kissing you deeper. His lips are insistent and his free hand gropes at you. His sudden parting from you has a whimper leaving your lips but he’s already trailing his kisses from the corner of your mouth down your cheek, past your jaw, to your neck.
He doesn’t bite you, not straight away, he sucks and licks at your neck first, leaving gentle kisses in between. He nips lightly at your skin, and you stifle a moan at it, not wanting him to know just how aroused you’re getting from the thought of him biting you. The way his mouth quirks against you has you doubting that you’re hiding anything from him though. Thankfully, he doesn’t comment on it and instead presses a single peck to your neck.
Pulling back, he looks you in the eyes one last time, wanting to check that you’re absolutely okay with this. When he’s satisfied, he nuzzles into your neck, you move your head to the side, offering him more room. His teeth lightly graze your skin before slowly sinking into your skin, the pain shocks you but dulls as he lathes over the spot with his tongue, licking at your blood.
It’s a new feeling, the ache of his teeth in your skin, it’s making you hazy. Tomas moans into your skin both from the taste and because you’ve begun absentmindedly grinding down into his lap, seeking friction. When he pulls back, he moves to see your reaction, to make sure you’re still okay.
In all honesty, it doesn’t feel like he drank that much from you, “I thought you would take… more.”
“Mmm, I want to bite you elsewhere,” he moves in and continues to lick at the blood left behind.
Seemingly keeping true to his word, he shuffles to move you. He’s careful as he does, laying you down against the couch gently. Getting himself comfortable, he leans over you, a smile prominent on his lips. Your clothes are his next focus, his hands pulling at you. You want to help him but as you rise he places a hand on your chest and lightly pushes you back down.
Arching your back, you make it easier for him to take off your shirt, “Don’t overdo it.”
“Mhm,” he mumbles in mindless agreement, though he’s not really listening now, too busy looking at your tits.
“Tomas.”
His eyes flick to yours, “Sorry dear, what did you say?”
Squinting at him, you repeat, “I said, don’t overdo it.”
“I am fine,” he leans back to show you wear he had been injured, “Look, already healing better.”
It is, it’s still there and looks irritated but the minimal amount of blood he took from you seems to have helped a great deal. It’s less open and for that you’re thankful but it still has to be tender, “Just be careful.”
“Someone might mistake that for you caring about me,” he has a giddy look in his eyes.
Smiling at him, you say, sheepishly, “Well, I might not go that far.”
He hums at you with a slight smile on his face, not believing you. His hands move to your lower half, pulling off your bottoms, your underwear are tugged off along with them. He’s not wasting any time tonight, eager to have you naked underneath him.
Maybe if he were to give you a little time to think, you’d feel more embarrassed about how he’s stripped you bare and pulled your legs apart all within the span of a minute but he’s not giving you that time, he’s already shuffling himself in between your legs. Your legs which have been haphazardly thrown over his shoulders, you could’ve sworn you just told him to be careful.
He trails his lips along your inner thigh, his touch so gentle it makes a shiver run down your spine, “Can I still bite you?”
You feel fuzzy, his words not completely registering when his breath is tickling your inner thigh, “You can do whatever you like.”
A big grin breaks out across his face, you can feel it, you don’t get a chance to correct your statement or make a snarky remark though, he’s already sinking his teeth into the soft expanse of your thigh. You jump slightly but he holds you steady, growls leave him, clearly enjoying this immensely.
When he parts, he licks and sucks at your thigh, not letting your blood go to waste, “Still with me?”
You feel a little hazy still, but you don’t know if that’s from him biting you or the position he’s put you in, he’s so close to your pussy and you want so badly for him to just put his mouth on you–
“–Hey,” his voice cuts off your thoughts and you look down to him, “Are you okay?”
“Mhm, yeah, I’m all good,” your head flops back onto the couch once you’ve answered him.
He sighs, “Mmm, is that so?” His thumbs move to your cunt and spread your lips apart so he can hungrily gaze at you on complete display, “You okay with me leaving you like this?...” His thumb runs through your slick heat, “…Or do you want me to do something to help?”
He places his thumb over your clit, not moving, just keeping steady pressure and it’s driving you insane. You want more, you need him to do more, he’s being purposefully cruel now, he wants it just as bad as you do. He also likes to hear how much you want him though and he’s not going to give you any sort of relief before you do.
On another day, maybe you hold out longer, tease him back, but today you’re all too happy to bend to his will, “Tomas…” His eyes shoot to yours, “I missed you.”
The look in his eyes lower and a huffed breath leaves him, “You play dirty.”
“I wasn’t trying to– ah,” you get cut off by his tongue licking at you, up the length of your cunt.
Genuinely, you were trying to give into him, but you seem to have said something that carried more weight than you expected it too. His tongue drags heavy on your pussy, flicking at your clit just to watch your thighs shake and body twitch. Unconsciously, your thighs go to close around his head, he moves he hands to keep them apart. He doesn’t stop there though, he pulls them open and up, almost folding you half.
His mouth doesn’t leave you, in fact, his tongue enters you, his nose presses into your clit, he’s trying to taste as much of you as he can. The wet slurping sounds he’s making are obscene, the room filled with how he laps at your cunt. He’s getting you close to finishing embarrassingly quickly but just when you think you could cum like this, he pulls his mouth back and bites into your other thigh.
Two of his fingers slip into your cunt just as his teeth puncture your skin, the simultaneous feelings are like a gut punch, you twitch and go to cover your mouth as his thumb reaches your clit and circles it harshly. A loud moan slips from you and is caught by your hands, the resulting sound a muffled cry. You cum around his fingers, your thighs shaking with it, Tomas moans into your skin, feeling your cunt pulse around his fingers and your blood coating his tongue, it has his control slipping.
Retracting his teeth and fingers from you at the same time, he slips the two fingers that were in you into your mouth. You take them, glassy eyes looking at him, your blood stains his mouth now, he was messier about his last bite. Slipping your tongue between his two fingers makes him shiver, the look in his eyes is dumb and sated.
When he pulls his fingers from you, he watches intently as they leave your mouth, he trails them, wet and slick down your chin, neck, sternum, all the way back down to your cunt. You gasp against the sensitive feeling, he pushes them inside you, crooking them up, his thumb already back on your clit.
“I really do love watching you cum,” he mumbles mindlessly. Going to say his name results in a pathetically moaned sound leaving you, it makes him smile deviously, “Trying to say something, dearest?”
You shake your head no at him, huffing out small sounds as his fingers pick up speed, his eyes never leave yours, intent on watching you the whole time, wanting to see every expression you make.
He leans down, free hand holding himself up, “Tell me again.” Your thoughts are garbled, and your eyes get lazy, unfocused, “Stay with me, I want to hear it again – how you missed me.”
You focus back on him, words slurring slightly, “Missed you so much, Tomas– hah.”
His fingers speed up again, his thumb harsh on your clit, you spasm around his fingers, your stomach pulling tight.
“I missed you too,” he smiles at you, his fangs showing through it.
Your back arches against the couch, “I– I was –mmphf– I was worried about you~”
Tomas curses at your confession, his head swimming with affection for you, he pulls his fingers from you suddenly and you whimper at the loss, “No– no, don’t be sad, I just can’t fucking wait any longer.”
The overwhelming need for you has overpowered him, he’s shucking his pants down his thighs carelessly. Pulling his cock out and immediately guiding it to your cunt, he slips the head of it through your folds a few times before slowly entering you. He’s trying to take his time and be gentle, he really is but he’s so suddenly desperate to be balls deep he can’t seem to find the patience to open you up for him more.
He makes it easier for you though, his thumb rubbing circles over your clit. It’s completely unexpected when you cum on the first few inches of his cock like this, a bitten back moan leaving you as shudders run through you. He had gotten you so close before retracting his fingers, the fullness now and way he was playing with you had your forgotten orgasm being not so forgotten.
“Tomas– it’s –ah–” You can’t even get out what you want to say, though you’re not entirely sure what you wanted to say. Cumming on his dick makes you go cross eyed, your hips moving to grind up into him, wanting so badly to be stuffed full as you orgasm.
He grunts out, “Fuck–” before taking advantage of your gushing pussy and slips balls deep, a loud and deep moan leaving him, “So incredibly slick, my dear,” he grinds down into you, his pelvis digging into your clit, he’s trying to give you a moment to breathe but he desires friction. “You never cease to amaze me, so incredibly perfect… responsive.”
Ironically, your cunt twitches at his words and a devilish smirk makes an appearance on his face, as if to gloat about his previously accurate statement, “I don’t know… if I can handle another,” your eyes are wet and unthinking when you look up at him.
“You can handle another,” he groans, dragging his cock out at the same time as he speaks, “Been so good to me tonight, I’m just returning the favour.”
He slams back into you, a high-pitched whine leaving you, matched against his low one, “I jus wanted to help –mmph–”
“And help you did, so incredibly helpful,” his words are coming quickly as he starts thrusting into you more consistently, “Taste absolutely divine, dear. Few moments there –ngh– I was scared of hurting you, you’re such an overwhelming presence in all facets of my life.”
Lewd and wet slapping sounds follow each of his thrusts, his hips fucking into you at a speed that makes your head spin. You’re not really capable of responding to him anymore, you’re as good as gone. His cock hits so deep inside you, he tickles your cervix, a thrilling kind of pain following each of his deep thrusts.
“You wanna know something?” He leans in, getting impossibly closer, deeper.
He’s waiting for your response, “Yeah– hah– mmph~”
He engulfs your mouth in a deep kiss, his tongue in your mouth before you can really register that he’s kissed you. He’s heated and rushed; kissing you in such a needy way that you can’t even keep up with him. When he pulls back a string of saliva connects the both of your mouths, he licks his lower lip, disconnecting it.
“I could smell how fucking wet you were getting each time I bit you,” he huffs breathlessly into your ear, “Fresh arousal drenching your cunt every time my teeth sunk into you, do you know how hard it is to focus on not taking much blood from you when you’re getting horny from it?”
“S–sorry,” you apologise but your pussy clenches down on him, his words working you up.
“No, don’t apologise, dear. You did nothing wrong, nothing.” He traces wet and sloppy kisses down the side of your face and neck, “I just meant to say, I think you would cum awful hard if I were to bite you at the same time, don’t you?”
Before you can comprehend the conclusion he’s given you, his hips switch from slamming into you, to grinding when he re-enters, the added stimulation makes you stupid, slurred words of praise and his name leaving you. Just as you’re about to climax, he bites into your neck, he doesn’t drink from you this time, he just sinks his teeth into your flesh. The pain rockets through you and you finish all over his cock, fresh, creamy, cum leaving you and leaking down his dick, a white ring left at the base of it.
The sound he makes is feral and not human, deep animalistic groans leaving him at the way you squeeze his dick so tight. He forces his way through all the sensations he’s feeling, fucking into your tight, spasming cunt, the slick of you making it easier. You’re so fucked open on him that he’s getting dizzy thinking about it, about how well you take his fat cock.
Raising his upper half, he looks down to where he’s fucking you, at the mess you’ve made, at the bite marks on your thighs, it’s all driving him wild. There’s very clear evidence of him being here and it’s sending pleasure down his spine to his core.
His dick jerks and twitches and as he looks at your face, at the gooey look in your eyes, at the unshed tears sitting in your waterline, he cums. It forces its way through him, the sensation almost making him spiral, he’s already cumming when he remembers what he wanted to do.
Pulling out, he aims the rest of his cum at your cunt and thighs, wanting to leave evidence of him all over you. He almost whimpers at the sight of your pussy leaking and being coated in him. Absently, he takes his hand and places it in his spend, smearing it up your stomach and grabbing your tit, leaving evidence of it there too.
You gasp at how he grabs at your breast, his slick forefinger and thumb tweaking your nipple, “Tomas–” You moan out to him.
His eyes shoot to yours and he looks sheepish, “Sorry…I got carried away.”
Mumbling lazily, you ask, “Are you okay?”
He bites a laugh at your question, “Are you kidding? I feel fantastic.” He moves in and presses a soft kiss to your cheek, “How do you feel? Are you okay?”
“I’m okay…tired,” you wrap your arms around him, pulling him down into you for a hug.
He breathes in the scent of you, committing it to memory, “You should sleep, I’ll carry you to bed–”
You object, cutting him off, “–No… you’ll be gone when I wake up, I really did miss you…”
He can’t hide the way your words make him glow with joy, “How about, we shower and see how you feel?”
“Mmmkay, you’re gonna need to do all the work though…” He’s already picking you up off the couch halfway through your sentence, “…Don’t think I can walk.”
“Wasn’t expecting you to,” he chuckles, carrying you off down the hallway.
˚₊‧⁺⋆༄
IT IS DONE !!!!!! MWUAHAHA!!! i hope you enjoyed it :3
#tomas x reader#tomas x reader smut#tomas x you#tomas x you smut#tomas vrbada x reader smut#tomas vrbada smut#tomas vrbada x reader#smoke x reader#smoke x reader smut#smoke smut
106 notes
·
View notes
Note
Platonic Yandere live action Garp who has a soft spot for a pregnant marine reader (I can imagine him telling reader , the baby will be a strong marine) XD
please ; also what are your thoughts on live action Garp ?
My thoughts on live action Garp are similar to my thoughts towards most of the live action depictions. He's good, but I prefer anime/manga Garp. I think he needs that little bit of silliness to maintain likability lol
It's Better This Way
Platonic Monkey D. Garp x Reader
1.9k words
warnings: pregnancy related things, vomiting, yandere themes, misogyny
Going from being a marine captain to managing paperwork for a vice admiral was not what you ever wanted to happen in your career. You felt like a glorified secretary. Even if it is supposed to only be a temporary position, it still felt demeaning. It’s not like there was anything you could do about it, though. Even you could admit that you were in no state to be fighting.
Not when you were as pregnant as you were. If you tried to so much as jog right now, you would throw up and piss yourself. Possibly at the same time.
Your due date was yesterday, but the baby was a no show. Clearly, they have not inherited your punctuality, much to your dismay. Pregnancy was not the beautiful process it had been made out to be. It was exhausting, painful, and downright gross at points. You were more than eager for the whole thing to be over, and you were about to roll up an eviction notice and shove it up where the sun don’t shine to help the baby get the hint.
As if the baby could read your mind, and didn’t care for what it read, you felt your overdue bundle of joy nail your diaphragm with a kick that new recruits would find enviable. You gasped and lurched forward as the air was knocked from your lungs and coughed a few times.
Papers were dropped onto the desk nearby and a chair squeaked as the man in it sat up straight. “Are you okay over there?”
You coughed a few more times before you could breathe properly again, “I’m okay… the baby just kicked me again.” At least they didn’t kick your bladder again. You would throw yourself overboard if you pissed yourself in front of someone again.
Garp sighed and stood from his seat before slowly approaching you. His hand settled on the back of your chair as he looked down at you, “Just go on leave already.”
“No… I can’t just sit around at some random marine base until I give birth. I’ll be bored out of my mind.” Not to mention you don’t want to deal with everyone there judging you for being a single mother. You get enough of that as is on the rare occasion you’re in the company of anyone other than Garp and his crew.
“You can barely walk anymore, just let yourself rest. You don’t even need to go to a base, you can stay on the ship. I could even make arrangements to let you stay at a village on land if that’s what you would prefer.” Garp wasn’t one to back down easily, and that included when bickering with you.
In all honesty, staying on Garp’s ship sounded ideal, but you would hate to be more of a burden to him after being demoted to light duty work on his ship. You were grateful that he agreed to take you in, especially since you were doing a job that you’re 99% sure Bogard was already doing before you got here. Because of that, you wanted to get out of his hair as soon as the baby was born.
“That’s very kind of you, sir, but I couldn’t ask that of you.”
“Sir? You were calling me Garp even back when I was training you, drop the unnecessary formalities.” Garp sighed and rested his hand on your shoulder, “Stop being so damn stubborn and accept my help. It isn’t going to help you or your kid to be like this.”
“I appreciate the offer, but I want to do this for myself.” Your hands rest on your overly swollen abdomen and rub circles on it. You’ve gotten so huge that you’ve been wearing Garps’s shirts for months now. That, and you’ve forgone buttoning your pants, but the shirt helps to cover that fact. It looked like you had twins in there, but the doctors insisted that they only ever heard one heartbeat.
There’s a question that has been on your mind for a while now, and this seemed like as good a chance as any to ask it. You inhale to steel your nerves, then begin, “Can I ask you something, Garp? I want you to be brutally honest with me.” Garp didn’t answer you verbally, but his nod was enough for you to continue, “Do you think they’re actually going to let me return to my position after I’ve had a chance to recover?”
“No.”
Not even a second had passed between the question and the answer. You had asked for honesty, but the immediate, blunt answer still shocked you. “You can’t be serious.”
“You wanted honesty, and I’m giving it to you. It’s a raw deal for you, but every time I’ve seen this happen, the women never return. It’s deemed too much of a liability. The people in charge don’t believe that you’re going to be as physically capable after the birth.” Garp’s gruff tone softened ever-so-slightly, and it sounded like he did genuinely feel bad for your situation.
Your emotions were running wild. You felt betrayed and beyond frustrated at your circumstances. “But I’ve worked so hard! I was a captain! They can’t just throw me to the wolves like this!”
If your outburst affected Garp at all, he didn’t let it show. He heaved a sigh and the hand on your shoulder tightened. “They can, and they already have. You were terminated the same day you came to my ship.”
“What?!” If you were in better shape, you would have sprung out of the chair from shock.
“I arranged to have you stay here for the time being because you were once my student, and I wanted to ease you into this. I had hoped to wait until after the birth to spring this on you, but here we are.”
All you could do was gape at him as he casually informed you of what your status actually was. It felt like a rug had been pulled out from under you in the cruelest way possible. Before you could even register what was happening, hot tears started pouring down your face. Great, just what you needed. Now you’re humiliated on top of everything else. You turn away from Garp to try and obscure his view, but there was only so much good that could do for you. Getting up out of the chair you were in required help from at least one other person and you were definitely too embarrassed to ask that of Garp right now.
His hand dropped from your shoulder to your back and patted it. “I know that this isn’t what you wanted to hear, but it’s not all bad. I know that the father is deceased, but I’ll do everything in my power to help make up for his absence.”
Your blood ran cold and your tears ran dry. Slowly, you pull your hands away from your face and look at him over your shoulder. You never told a soul about who the father was. Your voice shook as you spoke, “How do you know that?”
Garp rolled his eyes, “I may have been born in the dark, but it certainly wasn’t last night. I saw the way you acted around that pirate and how you were after his execution. You even made the mistake of mentioning growing up on the same island as him. You’re lucky that no one else has figured this out.”
Words were lodged in your throat, right along your heart that had leapt up there. This can’t be happening. You thought you were careful!
“I haven’t told anyone, and I don’t plan to. I don’t want that kid’s blood on my hands if someone finds out who the father really is, and I’m sure you don’t want that either.”
“It’s just a baby! They haven’t done anything wrong! The marines have no reason to hurt them!” You were yelling now, something that you knew was unwise, but you couldn’t help it. Not with how frayed your mental state was by this reveal.
“They’re the child of a pirate, and one that had a high bounty at that. That’s all the reason they need to get rid of them. You would be lucky to even get a chance to hear them cry before they’re disposed of.” Those words sent a chill down your spine. You knew that there were dangers associated with having the child of a pirate, but hearing someone spell it out was gut churning.
As if predicting your next move, Garp grabs the bucket next to your chair and holds it up just in time for you to lose your lunch into it. You cough and gag while Garp holds you steady, completely unphased by the sight and stench. He sets the bucket away from you and hands you a handkerchief to wipe your mouth with.
Speaking in a low tone, he starts talking again, “But that isn’t going to happen. What’s going to happen is I’m going to take you to an island in the East Blue after the kid is born. You’re going to stay in a place called Windmill Village and raise the kid there. I’ll come visit whenever I can to help you.”
You’re still too stunned to speak, and Garp takes that as a sign to continue, “My other grandchildren live around there. It’ll be a nice home for you and the little one. It’ll be a much more quiet life than what you’re used to, but I think you’ll adjust in time.”
It’s like he already has every tiny detail ironed out in his head, almost as if he’s done this before. You look up at him, equal parts distressed and bewildered, “How long have you been planning this?”
“Since I got word of your pregnancy.”
“What am I even supposed to do there? I’ve been in the marines almost all of my life, I can’t just start living as a civilian.” This was the least of your problems, frankly, but you didn’t want to confront the bigger ones right now.
“I would be more than happy to cover your living expenses myself, but I know you would never accept that. There’s a tavern in the town that an acquaintance of mine runs. She’s already agreed to let you work there once you’ve recovered.” Garp’s eye’s drifted down to your belly, “I know it’s a major change, but it’ll become easier when the kid gets older. You can relive your days as a marine by training them to be an even stronger one. I’ll help train them, too, of course. They’ll be one hell of a marine, I can already feel it. Out of all my grandchildren, I think this one will be the most likely to actually become one.”
Garp grabs your shoulders and helps you get onto your feet, a task he accomplishes with ease thanks to his inhuman strength. He guides you out of the room and down the corridor to your own, “Now go get some rest, I know this was all a lot to take in.” His tone left absolutely no room for argument.
You just nodded weakly. Your mind was all over the place trying to make sense of what was happening. Sleep would probably be really good for you right about now. You had no idea how you were going to adjust to the sudden change in your life, but after how Garp just spoke of it… You’re not sure that you even have a say in the matter.
Especially not if he’s already seeing your baby as one of his grandchildren.
#monkey d garp#one piece#live action one piece#opla#one piece x reader#one piece x y/n#one piece x you#x reader#reader insert#garp x reader#platonic yandere#yandere one piece
124 notes
·
View notes
Text
hello friends, i feel it necessary to update y’all on my condition and to explain my general absence.
over this past week and some change, i have been having a severe mental health crisis. i won’t go into details too heavily, but i’m still a little “in it”, though it has calmed down pretty significantly. to explain the severity, i was at a 12 out of 10, and now i’m at a 7 and occasionally a 6, if that makes sense. i am still debating going inpatient for the time being, just to get my meds figured out, but my mental and physical health teams are still kind of divided on the matter.
however, i feel it necessary to say, i am and have not been a danger to myself during this crisis. i had just been having a significant and precipitous physical and mental decline that was mostly anxiety and panic related, but i believe i am now on the mend, albeit going slow. medication is still an ongoing issue but hopefully within the next few days, my team and i can get that resolved and squared away.
i have received some kind messages asking if i am okay and sending well wishes, and i appreciate you all so incredibly much. you have made this more bearable for me, and i am endlessly thankful for all of you.
that said, i’m not sure when consistent posting will resume. i feel like i could begin working on requests again, but i don’t want to say it will be consistent or push myself too hard right now. especially if i do decide to go inpatient! however, the queue will not stop posting regardless of what happens because i am queued up till september lol but i will post another update if hospitalization is what i decide to do.
i love you all so very much!!! thank you for your support and love and kind words during this incredibly difficult time in my life. i will be back, hopefully soon in full swing and with amazing vigor! ☺️ i will talk to y’all soon, ilysm 💕
- ish 💕
#ish talks#updates#not stim#mental health mention#mental health crisis mention#physical health mention#hospitalization mention#anxiety mention
63 notes
·
View notes
Text
right where you left me
part: 8
pairing: paige bueckers x oc
word count: 1.5k
c/w: language
a/n: sighhhhh i'm not so happy with the way this ended, but i had so much fun writing this series. honestly, though, i'm very excited to start on some new stuff, so please please please stay tuned for that. let me know if you guys have requests, i'm feeling uninspired. thank you all so so much for staying tuned for this series, and while i'm sad it's over, you may be seeing more of paige and maya later on! let me know what you think!
When I wake up the next morning, I try for a moment to fool myself that this is my normal. That I always wake up wrapped in Paige, her hair tickling my nose. That I get to press a soft kiss into the skin of her neck and watch her eyes flutter open every single morning.
But in reality, we've fucked up. Paige’s eyes bore into mine. “We shouldn’t have done that,” she sighs. It’s not a question. It’s the truth. I search her eyes, trying to find some semblance of calm in the baby blue. This morning doesn’t forecast clear skies, as it would seem. Instead, I’m met with a raging storm.
“Do you wish we hadn’t?” I ask. My voice sounds foreign to my own ears. She hesitates. “I should,” she tells me. “But I don’t.” I shut my eyes, exhaling through my nose. She keeps talking. “I got to touch you.”
“I got to kiss you. Got to hold you, get to wake up to you.”
I nod, pursing my lips. “I know.”
“Maya, baby.”
I let myself look at her, opening my eyes to let them rove over her lips and her nose.
“I need to tell you something,” Paige says quietly.
She sits up, clad in one of her own t-shirts she’d grabbed from my closet. My eyes follow her movements, waiting with bated breath to see if she’ll leave.
“It wasn’t you. It was me.”
I sit up cautiously, narrowing my eyes at her. “Are you… re-breaking up with me, right now, Paige?”
Her eyes widen and she shakes her head indignantly. “No! No, no, no! Just-just listen, okay?”
I nod, encouraging her to go on.
“I was insecure. I was so worried that everyone else would see what I see in you - how beautiful you are, how smart you are, and kind, and funny, and talented, and-and sexy. How could they not? I mean, you’re all that and-and more.”
“But I should have trusted you, too. It was unfair of me to throw the situation with Nicky back in your face. I’m the one who kissed you. I called you and you came, because you always do, because that’s how good you are. Because you love me. You’ve never done wrong by me, Maya. Ever. Even if I missed a comp, you were always there at my games. Even when I fucked up, you showed up for me, Mai.”
“And I’ve known. That it’s you. Maybe as long as we’ve known each other, I couldn’t tell you. But I don’t want anyone to touch me the way you do. I can’t imagine looking at someone else and-and feeling the things I feel when I look at you, Mai. I can’t even put them into words. I just know that this feeling that I have - right now - waking up to you and knowing that I’m yours and you’re mine… shit, Maya. I want this feeling for fucking life.”
My eyes sting with tears. “Paige,” I whisper.
“And I know you want time. And space. Or whatever the fuck. But I’m telling you I don’t need any of that shit. I just need you. Us. However much you’re willing to give. I’ll take it. Some of you, all of you. I don’t give a fuck. I’ll wait. However long it takes.” She rushes all of this out, her tone taking on a sense of urgency.
I’m silent, still processing her words.
“My bus to the airport leaves in an hour. If I’m not there, Coach will skin me alive,” she tells me, getting off the bed. “I know… you have doubts. I get it. But I’m telling you right now, you’re fucking it for me, Maya. And if you need a day, weeks, months, years to get to that place - I’ll still wait for you.”
Paige walks briskly to me, taking my face in her hands. I feel as though I’m in a state of shock. “My bus leaves from the Hilton. If you come, I’ll know you want to keep trying.” She kisses me chastely. “Please come,” she whispers.
Then she’s gone. I glance at the clock on my phone. It reads 9:30.
I let about fifteen minutes pass.
Then another fifteen. I pick at my blankets, my fingers twitching.
Twenty minutes go by.
Then thirty more.
I check my phone again. Nothing from Paige. The time reads 10:52.
I hesitate.
Then I grab my car keys off my nightstand.
*******
Paige’s POV
“She didn’t come?” KK asks softly. I stare out the window, hoping to catch a glimpse of her dark hair. “Nah, guess not.” I try to play it off, acting like it doesn’t bother me, but my heart feels like someone stabbed it and twisted the knife. I pull my jacket tighter around me, as though it might hide the bloodstains.
The ride to the airport is slow and painful. I wallow in the words I said to her before I left.
The truth is, I don’t want to be without her. I can’t. I’ve been in love with her since I was fifteen years old. I’m 23 now, and the sun still rises and sets on that fucking smile.
I trudge through the airport, drag myself through security, and plop down at a seat at our gate. Azzi tries to poke me, trying to tease me to cheer me up. It doesn’t work. I shoot her a glare, then turn to the other side, determined to ignore the rest of my team.
That’s when I see her.
Maya.
She’s wearing what she wore to bed last night, a hoodie thrown over her t-shirt and shorts. She looks frantic, just about running through the airport. She clutches her keys in one hand, wallet in the other.
I shoot to my feet.
“Maya,” I breathe. KK gives me a weird look. “Yo, I know you’re down bad and all, but you have to chill.”
I swat her, my eyes still trained on the dark haired girl running through the Detroit airport. “No, dude. Maya. She’s here.”
KK’s eyes go wide when they spot her. “Girl, what are you standing here for? Go get her!”
“Right,” I mumble, nearly tripping trying to get past the bundle of duffels we all have on the floor in front of us.
“Maya!” I call, praying she hears me. “Maya!”
She spins to find my voice, her hair swishing around her. I see her lips form my name, and then she’s sprinting towards me, launching herself at me. Without hesitation, I gather her in my arms, squeezing her to me, letting her wrap her legs around my waist. “Paige,” she whispers into my hair, placing a kiss at my temple. “What are you doing here?” I wonder aloud. “I-I bought a ticket to Miami,” she splutters out, tears filling her eyes. “They wouldn’t let me in otherwise, but I had to see you-”
“You came,” I breathe, locking my arms around her body.
She stops, pulling back to look at me, a ‘duh’ look on her face. “You called,” she replies.
I bury my face into her, breathing in her smell. “Don’t do that again, okay?” I beg.
She laughs tearfully, nodding and clutching me to her. It occurs to me momentarily that this is an awfully public display of affection to be having in an airport, but I don’t give a shit.
“Never again,” she agrees, slowly unhooking her legs from around me.
“God, you scared me,” I tell her, but I’m too busy drinking her in to actually be mad.
“I just thought about what you said. We’re so over everything that happened in high school. I’m not scared you’ll hurt me again. I trust you too much for that. And I don’t need days or weeks or however fucking long, Paige. It’s been four years. I’m done waiting. I want this. Now,” she tells me earnestly.
I nod eagerly, unable to believe my ears. “We’ll- we’ll make it work. I’ll call you every day, every hour if you want. Whatever you want. You can visit! I’ll pay for your flights. I got NIL bank now, I’ll pay for whatever. I just-”
I know I’m babbling, but I’m just so unbelievably happy, I think I might be high off of it. I interrupt myself to kiss her, pulling her to me, not caring who sees. She laughs against me, kissing me back, and I think at this moment that if I could bottle her laugh up, I could get drunk off of it.
I lift her up off her feet once more, grinning at her.
“I hope you know I’m never letting you get away from me again,” I tell her.
Maya smiles at me, pecking my nose. “You’re not getting rid of me that easy,” she retorts.
I grin at her, stupidly in love with every single part of her. “You and me, baby?”
The smile she flashes at me is blinding, and she’s so beautiful I think I might pass out.
“You and me.”
#paige bueckers#paige bueckers fic#fic#wcbb#uconn wbb#✂️ anon#ncaaw#paige bueckers x oc#fic talk#right where you left me
108 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi, just joined Tumblr earlier today as part of an unrelated thing, thought I'd check your page out on a friend's rec, and... wow. Just, wow. This is practically the nine-dimensional chess of media literacy. I would have so many question, but everything you discuss is promptly explained in such great detail that I can't even say that. One question remains, though: *how?* Where do you get the absurd amount information and brainpower required to connect the show's many, many dots at this high of a level? It's something I struggle with myself (though that may be due to there being over a year between watching V1-V8 and seriously starting to reflect on the show beyond "well, that was a fun sequence of events"—thank you, newish fanfic writing brain—but that's besides the point), and I was wondering if you had any tips for expanding one's thinking in this direction, as the show still means a *lot* to me—there's a reason, however unexplainable, that I stuck with it so long before the reflections started—and I'd love it if the deepest parts of my brain could reflect it as such.
...Unless that's too much to ask, in which case, whoops! Either way, thank you.
really fundamentally the most effective thing you can do to practice is make a deliberate effort to cultivate a sense of curiosity toward the text. and what i mean by that is, get in the habit of asking yourself questions as if you’re in a high school english lit class: what happened in this scene? why did this character say or do that? does this conversation remind you of anything that happened in an earlier scene, and if so, what’s similar? what’s different? what did you learn about the characters from this scene? what did you learn about the world they live in? why do you think this scene was important enough to be in the story? what changed in this scene (something will always have changed)?
it may feel a bit patronizing at first BUT over time if you’re consistent about it, doing this will train you to approach reading or watching as an active participant. analytical interpretation is a skill and like any skill it takes sustained effort and practice.
after that it’s sort of just pattern recognition. this is true of all stories but it’s especially true of theme-driven stories like rwby because they tend to be very deliberate about repeating and refracting their ideas and often develop rich symbolic vocabularies. so you identify a pattern and then examine the text until you can develop a compelling argument for what it means.
one thing to keep in mind if you’re generally familiar with fandom is that fandom encourages a lot of practices that are cool and fun in fannish contexts but will poison analysis because they are (by nature of being transformative) untethered from the text. headcanon, for example, is things held to be true irrespective of the text—one could have as a headcanon that ruby is allergic to bee stings or that qrow is her father or whatever and it doesn’t matter that there’s no textual evidence or that the text says otherwise because the text is not relevant—but analytically, you must be able to back every part of your argument with textual evidence. so it is useful to practice compartmentalizing to keep headcanon strictly separated from the text in your mind.
(that’s also a practice i recommend in general because being able to say “i like this idea and i have it in mind when i create fanworks, but it isn’t canonical” is healthy)
a good habit to get into is arguing against yourself and holding yourself to a high standard of proof. the reason my argumentation tends to be so thorough is that i try to be as skeptical of my own theories as i am of other people’s. if i have an idea that seems right but doesn’t withstand textual scrutiny, i discard it. (or i might toss it into the headcanon/au idea pile, if i’m very fond of it.) i will often develop more than one argument about a given subject and then lay them all against the text before i commit to one. being skeptical will push you to pay closer attention.
cultivate curiosity about your own emotional reactions, too. what did this scene make you feel? why? how do you feel about this or that character? what draws you to your favorite characters? what distances you from the characters you don’t like? what ideas come to mind when you think about the story and what it means to you? if you have a strong reaction to something—good or bad—try to trace that feeling to its root. what sparked it and why?
once you start digging into that you’ll find that your intuitive reactions to the story are non-arbitrary—you’re subconsciously picking up on certain patterns or themes that resonate with you. so paying attention to what the story makes you feel and asking how and why it incites those feelings will guide you to conscious discovery of things you’ve already noticed without noticing.
and another good point of entry is to look for recurring symbols / imagery—for example, silver-eyes get associated with death and reincarnation through a combination of harvest/reaper imagery (scythe, sickle, ‘the grimm reaper’) and butterflies (ruby’s first glare resembles wings, butterflies everywhere when she and maria discuss her eyes, butterflies symbolizing ascension in the ever after). adding this pattern together with the white light in the liminal void between realms (the threshold of life and death!), the implication that silver-eyes came from ozma (who dies and reincarnates cyclically), the stated purpose of the glare (to preserve and protect life), ruby hearing pyrrha’s final words in her dreams (which she didn’t hear in reality), and the glare having destroyed the hand cinder used to kill pyrrha, is how i got to “silver-eyes are psychopomps,” because both the symbolism and the narrative facts about the power line up in that direction.
the one thing to be careful with in relation to symbolism is not to treat it like a secret code! symbolic meaning isn’t universal so you should always consider symbolism in context with the narrative. the first question should always be “what idea does this image appear in connection to, when it appears?” i.e. the burning rose in rwby symbolizes mourning. think of symbols as more like trail markers that the narrative has placed to help you understand the story by connecting dots. we see the burning rose on summer’s grave and then we see it on ruby; she carries her mother’s absence with her. she gives the brooch away in the ever after right after the blacksmith shows her a glimpse of summer, and then in the storm her reflection is summer but ruby doesn’t look, doesn’t see: she’s avoiding her grief, trying to pretend it isn’t there. and then the brooch returns to her once she faces what the blacksmith wanted to show her about her mom: now it’s a symbol for acceptance of loss.
and with a story like rwby that uses allusion to develop its thematic narrative it’s really helpful to read the texts it alludes to! the core narrative allusions are the marvelous land of oz, maiden in tower fairytales (petrosinella, persinette, rapunzel), cinderella, and the little prince, plus alice’s adventures in wonderland & through the looking glass for the ever after. and then every major character has a specific character allusion. both kinds of allusion are symbolic/thematic (you can’t use allusions to predict specific plot events but they help tie together emotional arcs and character relationships cohesively, and the narrative allusions are pretty good weather vanes for very broad-strokes things like ozma’s symbolic blindness being ‘healed’ in the end).
rewatching the show a couple of times will also help, especially if you take notes. i’m not sure how many times i’ve rewatched v1-8 but it’s a lot and i’ve watched v9 in full twice, plus rewatching a lot of specific episodes or scenes for reference. rewatching will help you spot patterns that you missed before and increase your familiarity with the text in general, both of which help tremendously.
31 notes
·
View notes
Note
for the hurt/comfort starters I've gotta ask for mattdrai with "Please tell me I don't look as bad as I feel" please! <3
"Please tell me I don't look as bad as I feel."
Matthew frowns at Leon’s image on his phone screen. The dejected tone of his voice is more than enough to tell Matthew just how bad he’s feeling, but there’s also a slope to his shoulders and the stress in his eyes that he can’t miss after loving him as long as Matthew has. He knows how much responsibility Leon carries with him, and is very familiar with the helpless feeling of not being able to show up for your team.
“You don’t look great,” Matthew says truthfully.
Leon scoffs and rubs a hand over his face, “Oh, thank you.”
The image goes blurry for a moment while his phone re-establishes it’s connection with the shitty Boston hotel internet. He knows there’s not much he can really say to quell Leon’s worries, and it’s late and they both have a game tomorrow. Important games. He doesn’t know the full extent of what’s up with Leon, and doesn’t dig (he’ll find out later and chastise him for it then, just as Leon did to him last year), but he knows that it’s worrisome enough to make Leon call him in the midst of their playoff run.
“Hey,” Matthew says gently, “I know it sucks and I know that I really can’t ask anything of you that I wouldn’t do myself…”
“But?” Leon bites.
“If it’s really bad, please don’t push yourself,” Matthew pleads, quiet but sure. He can’t say much more than that. Can’t tell Leon that it’s not worth it. Can’t sooth him and say that everything would work out for the Oilers without him, for fear of the falsity of his words being too glaring.
Leon sighs, but is silent beyond that. Matthew gives him the space, doesn’t push, listens only to the faint sounds in the background of Leon’s room, and watches the soft flickering light of his TV. Matthew wonders absently what’s on.
There’s a set to Leon’s jaw, and he’s pointedly not looking at Matthew, but even through the pixelated video call he can see the shake to his body as he breathes in and out, “Matthew, you know-there’s just so much riding on this, right? What am I going to do if this season ends in another failure? I’m running out of fucking time, here.”
A pang of unfounded guilt hits Matthew, knows that Leon is a few years ahead of him and in reality it’s not that much, but in hockey it’s everything. Maybe he’s not as well acquainted with the hourglass of time taunting him just yet, doesn’t have to worry about the sand falling through the middle, faster every time he gets another blow to his body. Doesn’t know the pain of making it within reach of the thing he’s always striving for, only to have it ripped away in a blur before you can even get your legs underneath you. Every. Time. Matthew can see it ruthlessly eating away at Leon year after year, chips away at him and seeps into the corners of his being.
Matthew had been closer than Leon ever had, and he felt confident his team could do it again, could see his chances in the coming years only increasing. Coming from him, it felt wrong to placate Leon and tell him that next year would be better, when he’d already had so many years of loss under his belt.
“Then you’ll figure it out. We'll figure it out, alright?” Matthew swears, wanting Leon to know he never had to face this giant thing all by himself, that he didn’t have to cross any bridge without Matthew’s hand to hold, “I’m always with you, Leon.”
There’s a helpless gasp of air from Leon’s mouth, maybe the tail end of a sob stuck in his lungs, “Yah, yah. I know. Thank you.”
Matthew offers a small albeit sad smile, and they don’t say much else. Matthew doesn’t hang up, though, can't bring himself to sever the one line of connection they have in the moment. Leon doesn’t look in a rush to go, he’s three hours behind and has time yet. Matthew sleeps eventually and lets the video call go, so Leon doesn't have to be alone.
ao3 drabbles <3
#mattdrai#ficlet#drabble#blurb#1929#hrpf#some lil current playoff vibes cause#why not#this is soooooo dramatic FGDKGKH#ty so much for the prompt!!!! <3#hurt/comfort#established relationship#my writing#my fic
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪. 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉’𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓂𝑒, 𝑒𝓈𝓅𝓇𝑒𝓈𝓈𝑜 3
｡𖦹°‧ pairing ｡𖦹°‧ - idol!yeonjun x superstar!oc x idol!jungkook
｡𖦹°‧ synopsis ｡𖦹°‧ - a love triangle between Hollywood’s sweetheart, Korea’s golden maknae, and Gen Z’s IT boy. Estrella is a very busy woman never had time dating with all her photoshoots, movie offers, recording sessions, dance practices, and public appearances. As she’s doing a little world tour promotions for her latest mini album ‘You & Me’, and let’s just say that stop last a little longer and it becomes a little too interesting.
｡𖦹°‧ a/n ｡𖦹°‧ - yj enters the chat (੭˃ᴗ˂)੭
Italics = korean
It’s 6am and the whole team has made it to their dressing room where Sana and Daya are doing Estrella’s hair and makeup. “Ok first will be the ‘You & Me’ stage, but before that you have an interview with the three mcs txt’s Yeonjun, Park Jihu, and Woonhak.” Megan explains. “They will basically ask about your song and what’s the charming point in the dance along with how is your time in Korea so far?” Megan was giving the basic run down. “I’m nervous~” the four girls giggle at Estrella’s cute pronunciation. All morning Estrella has been practicing her little speech making sure she doesn’t stutters or mumble her words.
“You got this Estrella.” Daya boops her nose affectionately. Estrella smiles, “thanks.” Both Sana and Daya were done doing Estrella’s hair and makeup, so it was now time to change her into her first stage outfit. “So pretty!” Sana gasps at the sight of Estrella. “Custom by Chanel, and they did so good.” Megan covers her mouth trying to hold back her squeals. “Thank you Chanel gods.” Estrella prayed. “Ok let’s get going. Your call time is soon and it’s better to do a little small talk with the mcs, so you can get a bit more comfortable.” Megan opens the door for Estrella. “Ok.” She sighs, still a bit nervous. “Fighting!” Sana holds her fist up encouraging Estrella. “Yeah fighting our little star!” Daya follows Sana’s hand motions. “We’ll be watching on the tv.” Sana points at the tv mounted on the wall. “Thanks, I’ll do my best.” Estrella sent kisses before leaving.
Megan walked Estrella through the halls and as they were walking many staff would whisper how pretty Estrella is, and some would try and hold their excitement since they’re fans of her. As they made it to the stage a staff member was explaining to Megan that Estrella will look into the main camera and stand right in between the two mcs. “Oh my god, I feel like I’m dropping off my child on her first day of school.” Megan snicker at herself kinda feeling emotional. “Why do I feel the same though?” Estrella laughs, trying to calm down her nerves. “Again don’t feel nervous. You done this plenty of times, and plus I’ll be waiting right down the steps so you’re good.” Megan squeezes Estrella’s arms comforting her. “I know.” Estrella pouts. “Fighting!” Megan whisper yells before hugging Estrella and walking off the little stage.
Estrella was currently the only one there which gave her time to practice what she was going to say while fixing her ear-in that helps her translate. “Eleven is about-“
“Hello~” the three MCs greeted Estrella. Estrella got startled, but quickly got over it and said ‘hello’ back while giving them little bows. “Oh, she’s pretty!” Jihu gasps making the two guys chuckle. Estrella took a second to process what Jihu said to her. “I’m pretty? You’re pretty too.” Jihu instantly got shy and shakes her head ‘no’. “I’m Jihu, nice to meet you.” She’s embarrassedly introduced herself. “I’m Woonhak.” One of the male mcs bow towards Estrella. As Estrella eyes left Woonhak and moves on to the next person it was like the whole room went silent, and all she could hear was her own heart beating. He towered over his partners and his fox like eyes met her doe ones. “I’m Yeonjun.” Estrella didn’t show her instantly attraction towards him.
‘Ah, this is what Megan must have meant last night. But I can’t help myself’ Estrella bit her lip. “I’m Estrella Blue, and please guide me.” Everyone was a bit shock at Estrella’s little Korean. “That was good!” Woonhak praises Estrella. Estrella was getting shy with all the compliments causing her to hide a bit behind Yeonjun. “Cute~” Yeonjun coos. Estrella looks up at him with boba eyes hearing him calling her cute. She was trying so hard not to kick her feet and giggle. The staff started counting down before going live and Yeonjun guides Estrella back into position by him ghostly placing his hand on the small of her back.
“Everyone we have a really special guest with us that flew from the States to Korea!” Jihu starts the segment. “Really?! Who must it be?” Woonhak acts curious, making Estrella hold in her laughter. “Come on, how do you not know Woonhak-ssi?” Yeonjun acts offended. “Ta da!” Estrella pops in frame. The mcs act surprised making it harder to not laugh, but Estrella kept it together. “Hi I’m Estrella Blue~” waves at the camera cutely. “It’s a honor to have you here today Estrella-ssi.” Jihu smiles at Estrella. “Thank you I’m so happy to be here and perform.” Estrella mentally pats her head for not stuttering. “Right! Your song ‘Eleven’ is so popular here in Korea much like all over the world. Can you tells us more about ‘Eleven’?” Woonhak asks. This is all Estrella was practicing all morning, it’s her big moment. “Yes!” Estrella nods. Estrella grips the mic with both hands already feeling nervous again. “Um…’Eleven’ is a dance pop song that expressive romantic feelings for someone, and basically saying you make me feel more than a ten, you make me feel like an eleven.” As the camera shows the two other MCs clapping for Estrella’s little speech, and as she was paying attention to them she didn’t notice that Yeonjun snake his arm behind her and pats her back. It was like a ‘you did a good job’ but it still sent Estrella butterflies.
“How about you show us the charming point of the dance?” Yeonjun asks, looking down on Estrella. Estrella hums, “sure.” The music cue and starts playing the chorus. All three of them started hyping Estrella up making her chuckle before getting to the hip part of the dance which she quickly changed serious. The audience couldn’t help but cheer seeing Estrella’s facial expressions. “Wow, wow!” The mcs clapped for Estrella. “Thank you~” Estrella claps for herself. “Maybe you should teach Yeonjun hyung!” Woonhak suggests.
‘This wasn’t apart of the script in my head!’ Estrella hears the translator speak in her ear-in, as she was freaking out. “I just need a little help on the hip part of the dance.” Yeonjun speaks in English. “You know the dance?” Estrella asks in shock. “I had too, you’re our special guest.” Yeonjun doesn’t know where all this confidence came from. He was equaling if not more nervous than Estrella, but not from having to speak more because his idol and crush is right in front of him. Pictures and videos do not do Estrella justice with how beautiful she looks in person and Yeonjun is in ‘awe’.
Did he not listen to a word that Estrella was saying while giving him the quickest tutorial on the hip move because he already knew. He was practicing the choreo in his waiting room the whole time. He did spend the 2 minutes trying to see every little detail on her and just was admiring her. “Yeonjun hyung you got it right?” Woonhak snaps Yeonjun out of the trace. “Of course I got it.” Yeonjun confidently answers while getting into position. “Ok music cue! Please~” Estrella calls to the staff. Estrella was surprised by Yeonjun’s dancing, she smiles at him as they made eye contact which almost messed up Yeonjun. “You were so good.” Estrella places her hand on Yeonjun’s arm along with giving him a thumbs up.
‘What are we?’ Yeonjun thinks while looking back at Estrella basically giving her heart eyes.
⭒˚‧ ︵‿⭒ཐིཋྀ ཐིཋྀ⭒‿︵ ‧˚⭒
Next is finally performing the first song ‘You & Me’, and as Estrella walked up the stage she was surprised with the stage design. “It’s so pretty!” She squeals making her fans laugh at her cuteness. “Let me introduce myself,” Estrella clears her throat. “Hi I’m Estrella please cheer loudly for me starrys!” The audience cheers while waving their lightsticks. Estrella then remembers about yesterday and how she met Heemin. “Oh is Heemin here today?” A loud scream coming from the left side caught Estrella’s attention. There stood Heemin waving her lightstick frantically, “there you are. See I remembered, thank you for coming Heemin.” Estrella blew kisses at Heemin’s direction.
Once she saw her dancers go up on the stage with her, she knew it was time to get in position. “Please cheer loudly starrys!” Estrella quickly said before the music started. (Song and dance)
⭒˚‧ ︵‿⭒ཐིཋྀ ཐིཋྀ⭒‿︵ ‧˚⭒
“Excuse me, sorry excuse me.” Yeonjun raced to his dressing room just so he can watch Estrella perform. “Wah~ she’s too gorgeous.” Yeonjun looks up at the tv seeing Estrella little winks and flirty smiles. It felt like she was singing to only him and no one else. Maybe he is a little delusional, but who isn’t nowadays. “Are you going to try and talk to her?” One of his male staff members asks. Yeonjun looks at him with eyebrows raised and wide eyes, “are you crazy?” Making the staff member laugh. “She’s way out of my league.”
Yeonjun continues to watch the performance and feeling envy of the male dancer that was dancing with Estrella, wishing it was him instead. “I mean you’re handsome. You might have a shot?” The staff member shrugs. “You’re not helping me or my thoughts.” Yeonjun huffs, and throws himself on the couch while groaning. Yeonjun was thankfully that Inkigayo kept Estrella being the special guest a secret otherwise Yeonjun would’ve been freaking out the day leading up. ‘Wait special guest? Why does that sound so familiar? Like I heard it before-‘
“Estrella is coming to the Hybe building?!” Yeonjun scares everyone in the room. “Oh…we forgot to tell you.” Another staff member speaks. “Yeah, Jungkook is suppose to show her around.” Yeonjun stops his eye from twitching from hearing the news. Instead he grabs the nearest pillow and slaps it over his face and yells into it. “I feel better now.” He acts like nothing happened.
⭒˚‧ ︵‿⭒ཐིཋྀ ཐིཋྀ⭒‿︵ ‧˚⭒
“Did it look good?” Estrella is now back in the dressing room getting ready to perform ‘Eleven’. “You looked amazing!” Sana squeals, while doing her makeup again. “The stage was on point too.” Daya compliments, as she’s putting Estrella’s hair in a ponytail. “Thank you guys. You both did so well too.” Estrella thanked her girls.
“Since Megan isn’t in the room right now. What’s up with you making those lovey dovey eyes at mister mc.” Daya couldn’t help herself. While Sana and her were watching the interview through the tv they both gave each other the ‘look’ while watching Estrella interact with Yeonjun. “Stop! I was literally thinking about what Megan was telling yesterday and he just popped up.” Estrella whines. “He’s just so tall and cute–i can’t!” Estrella shakes her head, making the girls laugh.
It was finally time to perform ‘Eleven’ and once again Megan walks Estrella to a newly themed stage. “Once you finish performing don’t leave the stage because everyone is going to come back in and then they’re going to do the award ceremony.” Megan explains while checking Estrella mic pack and soothing her outfit. “Award?” Estrella questions. “Mm, every music program here gives an award to the group with the most votes. It’s pretty important here to the idols.” Megan gives a briefing. “Ah ok.” Estrella gives the ‘ok’ sign making Megan chuckles.
⭒˚‧ ︵‿⭒ཐིཋྀ ཐིཋྀ⭒‿︵ ‧˚⭒
The second Estrella steps on the stage cheers erupted shocking Estrella. “Oh my gosh,” she smiles big. “Thank you starrys~” Estrella waves at everyone. “You give me lots of strength.” Starrys gave loud cheers making Estrella pout trying not to get emotional. “Stand by.” The staff speaks through the mic. Estrella and her dancers get in position, “we got this everyone.” She whispers to her female dancers. Everyone could see how much Estrella loves the stage with the way she carries herself within the performance, and how effortlessly she sings and dances, along with her animated facial expressions. All the idols were watching from the sidelines amazed and instantly getting inspired by watching such a big admirable artist perform right in front of them.
As the performance came to an end Estrella did heart cheek pose causing everyone to scream, even the idols caught themselves slipping while cheering. The cameras briefing cut so the idols can get back on the stage to start the award ceremony. Estrella didn’t know where she had to stand, so she went all the way to the left side away from the cameras. Many idols were bowing at her which she of course bowed back, but it was funny because once Estrella bows back at them they would freak out with excitement making her giggle at them.
“Estrella-ssi please move to the center.” The staff member came to Estrella guiding her to stand next to Woonhak. Right after the mcs start reading their little script which Estrella was just scanning the audience giving little waves at them. Honestly, Estrella wasn’t really paying attention because in her head she knows that she not going to win, she just got there plus she doesn’t know who’s the most popular groups here. That is until she saw her face being a nominee, “huh?” Estrella is surprised. She watch as all the numbers max out on every category crowning her the winner. The confetti canons scared her causing her let out a little scream making everyone laugh at her reaction. Jihu passes the little award to Estrella while Yeonjun passes the big flower bouquet to her. “You were great, congratulations.” Yeonjun smiles at her. Estrella thanked them before grabbing the mic Woonhak had for her. “T-thank you, I’m really surprised right now. I literally just got here yesterday and I’m very thankful for all the support I have been receiving. I will be sure to repay all this support with even better music and even better performances, thank you starrys~”
Estrella was about to walk off before Megan stopped her and quickly explained that she had to do an encore stage. Estrella pulled her dancers back up and they all sang and danced to ‘Eleven’. Estrella even made a fan sing the chorus while jumping around touching her fans hands and blowing kisses.
Just before heading out of the broadcast station Estrella filmed about 6 TikToks with different groups. Estrella instantly changed back to her regular clothes before the whole team made their way out to the car. Many fans waited for Estrella to tell her how well she did, to make sure to rest, and to hand her more fan letters. Estrella and her team made it safely to their car while accepting the letters from starrys. “Thank you again starrys. Get home safely and eat lots.” Estrella gave a couple of poses before rolling up her window.
Estrella lets out a big yawn and rests her head against the window. “I’m going to take the fattest nap.” Estrella got herself comfortable. “You find Yeonjun attractive huh?” Megan crossing her arms. “What?!”
You & Me album
Eleven(title track) originally IVE
You & Me originally JENNIE
Don’t blink originally AESPA
Hard to love originally ROSÉ
Holy moly originally IVE
Looking at me originally SABRINA CARPENTER
All night originally IVE
taglist»-♡→ @iveivory @jjkluver7 @lively-potter @angie-x3
#txt yeonjun#txt scenario#txt scenarios#txt imagines#txt fanfic#yeonjun scenarios#yeonjun x oc#yeonjun fanfic#yeonjun imagines#yeonjun imagine#bts jungkook#jungkook x oc#jungkook imagine#jungkook imagines#jungkook scenarios#jungkook fanfic#jungkook scenario
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
As a self shipper in the BTD community, I feel like it’s incredibly important for me to talk about the importance of acknowledging where our priorities lay, and how/why we do what we do. Let’s discuss!
Firstly, to those who don’t know me, hi! My name is Alice, I’m 23 years old and I’ve been self shipping with Ren Hana from the BTD universe for about five years now. So, what does this mean? What is self shipping?
Summarized, self shipping is exactly what it sounds like; inserting yourself into the media you enjoy, and shipping yourself with a character you like. Now, I’m not here to discuss the ethics and/or morality of shipping oneself with fiction, that’s a whole other discussion and not quite what I want to talk about here. I also feel it’s heavily irrelevant!
What I do want to discuss is the extremist topics and situations present in the BTD universe, and the want/desire to insert yourself into these extremist scenarios. You may be asking why on earth someone would want that, even more so draw themselves in these scenarios? Allow me to explain my perspective, and maybe I can expand your thoughts a little bit on this topic.
I’m going to preface all of this by saying the most important statement of all; I have a life outside of the way I present online! I assure you, even though I seem to talk about Ren Hana 24/7, I am very much focused on many other things including education in perusing a career.
The only reason why it seems so excessive is because this is my escape. I talk about Ren and that fantasy when I want to distract myself from unpleasant feelings or situations in my real life.
Which leads me to my first point, this is all purely fantasy, fiction. If you think about the concept of being kidnapped, tortured, taken advantage of, it sounds horrible. But when you play out these scenarios in your head, when you are able to safely practice these desires to escape, it’s a whole different ball park. Therein lies the difference between something real, and fiction; it is under the control of the person involving themselves in said fantasy. It’s practically roleplaying with a trusted partner, but that partner is fictional.
To further elaborate, I am someone who is heavily disturbed by true crime, gore, real life situations that harm real life people. It makes me feel physically ill and it sits with me for so long, and I’ve even developed paranoiac episodes due to true crime episodes or podcasts- it’s not something I enjoy in the slightest. To assume someone who has darker fantasies enjoys the suffering and hurt of others in a real life situation is incredibly crass and disrespectful to one’s character.
Secondly, from a whole other perspective, Ren Hana is a character I feel deeply connected to. Not just as a person, but a character. The changes he has went through canonically and narratively is something that I resonate with deeply, and quite frankly, I feel understood when it comes to his character. This is something that just happened and really wasn’t within my control, he’s a comfort character of mine by chance, not really by choice, not to sound dramatic, but it’s the truth.
Thirdly, to really tap into the universe and him as a character, his interests and likes make me feel incredibly validated! I am someone who is very shy, I struggle a lot socially and due to this it’s hard for me to make connections. Ren being someone who enjoys someone like that, it makes me feel incredibly validated and, well, wanted. Not only that, but his affinity for high aesthetics, specifically cutesy, frilly things, it brings me immense joy! I feel incredibly validated and noticed, I feel like me, as a person, I am getting noticed and appreciated for who I am, and that is so rare. Of course I would cling onto him immensely, you would too!
To summarize, everything here brings me joy, and no distress whatsoever. It’s all under my control, I get to decide what happens, and that’s what makes it so enjoyable. Now I am just one person with one perspective, but I assure you that if you asked around, everyone would pretty much have the same response.
If you took the time to read this throughout, thank you, and I hope I expanded your thoughts on this topic, even just a small bit!
Have a wonderful day/night. Thank you again! 💖
28 notes
·
View notes
Note
Would you ever put yourself in the story as Unknown?
I just had a thought that it could be really interesting if in the world of your OCs, Unknown could be a background force that kinda helps and harms the characters. Maybe giving Luka or Kairos information on their darling, while also being a sort of friend to the darling
Kind of like an ARG
If I were to ever put myself in the story as “Uknown”, my characters would find me insufferable, LOL.
ヽ(o^ ^o)ﾉ
Not because I’d be horrible or extremely cruel to them or anything like that. No…
It’d just be really, really easy to mess with them. (ง ื▿ ื)ว
Half the things I’d say are truths, and the other half are lies… I’d text Kairos and Luka information about you, and they’ll have to work really hard to decipher if I’m being honest or not. Like… I shoot them a text that says you’re in danger! If they don’t hurry, you’ll die!
So, they'd immediately stop whatever it is they’re doing and come rushing to your aid– only to discover that there was never any danger at all. (*ﾉωﾉ)
As Unknown, it’d be especially fun sending these texts to them in the middle of the night, slowly draining them of energy and making them grow grumpier and paranoid. They see another text from 'Unknown' in their phones, and Unknown is... Once again... Saying their darling is in danger!!
Unknown is probably lying, but... But what if... What if they're not? They can't afford to ignore Unknown's texts. They just can't...!
Seeing and studying their reactions to different scenarios would be totally worth it. (✧ω✧)
And, honestly, it would just be a ton of fun messing with Luka in particular. He… Deserves to be messed with. ^_^
With Kairos, I’d be nicer to him… But not by too much. It’d be fun trying to get him all flustered, half-helping and half-harming him at the same time. He'll always get rewarded in the end, though. ʰᵉʰᵉ
Also, if I were to be friends with their darling (you), I'd ask you who you wish to be with... LOL.
So!! if you said you liked Kairos more, I would still lead Luka on... Just for the fun of it. But I'd ultimately help Kairos more, and I would let him get close to you. (─‿‿─) And vice versa.
#ask#luka posting#kairos posting#ok i would feel a little bad for messing with them too much#but also not really#because theyre my sillies
43 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm so late but- I can't believe they just made Amane bad at math canon?!
This was inspired by a conversation I was having with a friend for the most part. Didn't want to get too carried away but love the subtle changes in the minigrams and how they play on the timelines.
That's a D, and even though that's an average percentage in Japan, there's a chance it's not meant to be read that way. Like it can still be average. Average grades are fine but like the difference between this and the timelibe interests Mr.
Because this Minigram comes directly off of the last one with Shidou. A minigram that they also took some creative liberties with for comedic reasons. Yet that one ended with Amane searching for a new teacher not going to find Kotoko like in the original timeline interaction,
20/06/13
Amane: ……what’s wrong, Shidou-san? Your hand has stopped marking. This is mathematics, so there’s no questions about the answers. If I got something wrong, please mark it with an X.
Shidou: I…… I just don’t understand. If everything about MILGRAM is true…… why did a child like you have to become a murderer? Just imagining what sort of circumstances must have led to that, it makes me so sad……
Amane: ……*sigh*. Is that right. I don’t think I’m going to get along with you, Shidou-san. I don’t agree with the fact you refuse to acknowledge that I have my own free will, and that I should be held accountable for my actions, just because I’m a child. I may have only been alive for 12 years, but all the choices I’ve made, even if they weren’t the best ones, were entirely my own. What point is there in you getting sad when I have no regrets myself? ……please give me back my test. It seems you don’t have the concentration levels required to be my teacher. I’m going to get Kotoko-san to teach me instead.
Shidou: Amane…… I don’t think that’s true. However smart you may be…… you’re still just a child.
In the original timeline convo Shidou states the things he was thinking in the minigram aloud causing Amane to leave. In the Minigram Amane is just left baffled and confused as Shidou seems to fail to understand what her test even says and leaves on her own.
Like we said before, she doesn't state she's looking for Kotoko, just a teacher who seems capable. She immediately disregards Futa as an option. Something also done for comedic purposes.
So the test Amane gives Kotoko to grade in this Minigram is still the mathematics one. Unlike in the portal timeline when the interaction between her and Kotoko is several days after her one with Shidou,
20/06/18
Amane: Thank you very much for teaching me. ……but, though I realise it’s strange me saying this after I asked you, I must admit it’s kind of unexpected. You give off the impression of someone who wouldn’t want to get involved in things like this.
Kotoko: ……well, you’re not wrong. I’m surrounded by people who could all be murderers, so I don’t plan on going out of my way to talk and make friends. I can’t let my guard down. But I like ambitious people like you. If you want to study more, then I’m happy to teach.
Amane: I see…… You look scary at first impression, but I quite like the way you treat everyone equally regardless of whether they’re older or younger than you. You don’t just treat me like a child or anything like that.
Kotoko: Treat you like a child? Hah, you’ve got to be kidding. Back when I was your age, I was already the person I am today. I don’t have any plans to let you get away with something just “because you’re a child.” ……remember that. There, I’ve finished marking. 83%. How do I put it… Even though you act like this, it’s not like you’re super brilliant at studying or anything, huh.
In contrast to the timelibe interactions that happeb a good bit away from each other, the Minigram is more meant to document her starting out bring tutored by Kotoko. Not her falling out with tutors like we see in the timeline. This right here is all about timing.
First, do you notice how in the minigram they stay away from the treat you like a child conversation entirely? Only focusing on how Kotoko likes ambitious people like Amane, the grades, and the need to improve them in this area. That's a stark difference from the original timeline.
Plus, notice how the timeline has Mikoto and Kazui there. Two people she asks for help at different points in the timeline. Well, more so take note of how this minigram uses Mikoto specifically. The Minigram uses him to emphasize and announce to everyone that right now, this isn't about language.
The topic that he and Amane excel in or have a good grasp of,
Q.01 What’s your speciality skill?
Amane: I don’t think I have a particular skill. Would studying count? I’m good at Japanese language.
It's about math. It's still about the math test from the previous Minigram. You know what's not the timeline interaction that takes place five days after she did that test and ended the conversation stating she was going to Kotoko. From how Kotoko and Amane are speaking in the June 18th timeline, it's implied she's been helping her for a minute. She's probably been helping her since what occurred on the 13th with Shidou.
Does anyone here think it would take Kotoko five days to grade a math test? No probably not. So she's more than likely grading a different exam all together.
I believe Kotoko's wording is important in this timeline. Because she says, "Even though you act like this, it's not like you're super brilliant at studying or anything, huh?"
What about the way Amane behaves would imply she'd be good at math or studying?
They even change this in the minigram instead having Kotoko state,
"How do I say this... For the way you act, you aren't a good student, are you..."
Along with the visual, which implies that Kotoko isn't just saying this based of Amane's grade but how Amane reacted to it. She wasn't surorised or upset in fact she seemed like she expected it.
In the timeline, while Kotoko still attempts to find the right words, she's more matter of fact. Even though it's still a question she flat out forgoes saying she's not a good student and states she's not brilliant at studying or anything. Just point blank you're not amazing at this.
If the thing she was discussing here was in fact Japanese language, the thing that Amane says she's good at. That would hurt a lot more than saying it about math something she doesn't state she's good at it. Plus it's be easy to assume she's excel at that based on how she speaks or being like that.
So yeah, that's why I think this is probably a case of two different things being graded. Not her grade being changed. I want to hope for a part three since she took note of what Mikoto said about being able to help with debate and discussion, but who knows.
24 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
kthecutest
Cuz I think I was made for you, an Alien
tellmehowiamnow-blog
what if we lost our minds?
like-a-big-pizza-pie
When the Moon Hits Your Eye
breadbin-beebo-urie-blog
Shelby
twinflameshardcore
Twin Flames Hardcore