#FUCK Thranduil
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Legolas and Gimli get married at least 5 times and here’s why
#lord of the rings#lotr#legolas#gimli#gigolas#elrond and galadriel were the first gigolas shippers and i will stand by that#elrond is very strategically like 'perhaps this will heal the breach between our races and bring peace to future generations'#and galadriel is like 'dude imagine if thranduil's son ended up with a dwarf. that would be so fucking funny. thrandy would SHIT himself'#and he does!!!!! he surely does!!!!
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Made for amazing @sophiegreenleaf as a thank you gift for her donation on Buy me a coffee. You support means the world to me!🥰 I took some liberty with your request, I think even old trees can bloom when his majesty blessed them with his presence, healing and invigorating them to fight against poisonous evil. Hope it's ok.
#thranduil#lee pace#lotr#the hobbit#lord of the rings#tolkien#the elvenking#elves#mirkwood#vigorous spring#photomanipulation#tumblr is destroyer of pics#the quality is all fucked up
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Bby Legolas who absolute did not pay attention to when they were teaching about the history of the noldor/sindar elves, partially bc he was a silvan thx, and didn’t care much for these other elves who he probably wasn’t gonna interact with a lot anyways, partially bc after the 5th elf to share almost identical names with other elves of great renown, with the difference being, like, 1 letter, he just acknowledged that it wasn’t gonna happen.
Adult legolas, who’s trying really hard to seem like a functional elven being, franticly trying to remember who’s who whenever he’s visiting imlardis and one of the elves start talking about their history/ancestors: i took a calculated risk, but man am i bad at math.
Legolas: *mixing up pretty much the entire finweon line, bar elrond’s immediate family*
Legolas: I absolutely know what i’m talking about, no don’t look in my notebook-
Legolas: *learning that many elves from the first age had up to 3 names each* fuuuuuck, you couldn’t have sticked with 1 name like normal people??? Maybe 2, but 3? C’mon man. At this point it’s bullying.
Sm elf: *calling legolas “thranduilion”*
Legolas, has a last name he shares with his entire family: whomst the fuck
#lord of the rings#lotr#silmarillion#lotr elves#the hobbit#legolas#thranduil#silvans#mirkwood#incorrect tolkien quotes#incorrect hobbit quotes#incorrect lotr quotes#elven naming practices#legolas nopes the fuck out of noldor history#this is a joke guys#legolas becoming increasingly aware of the differences between their people#legolas did not have the patience for history ok
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Bard: I need relationship advice
Elrond: Break up
Bard: At least listen to me first
#Elrond thinks Thran is a dumb bitch and Bard deserves better#OH FUCK NOW I SHIP THAT#Bardrond#That’s the ship name :D#incorrect quotes#incorrect lotr quotes#incorrect the hobbit quotes#lotr#lord of the rings#the hobbit#bard the bowman#lord elrond#Thranduil#Barduil
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ᙅoᥒƒᥙ⳽ᥱᑯ ᘜᥲᥒᑯᥲꙆƒ
ᥲᥒᑯ
ᥱxᥲ⳽ρᥱɾᥲtᥱᑯ ᙖᥲɾᑯᥙɩꙆ
꧁ 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑯𝒐𝒃𝒃𝒊𝒕 𝑴𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒔 ꧂
#the hobbit#thranduil#thranduils tent#bard#bard and thranduil#barduil#luke evans#gandalf#confused gandalf#what the fuck
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i thought i was free I THOUGHT I WAS FREE WHY ARE YOU BACK *points at my bagginshield and barduil ao3 tabs* YOUR SUPPOSED TO BE GONE I CANT DO THIS AGAIN NOT WHEN THEYRE PUTTING PHOEBE BRIDGES AND CANT CATCH ME NOW INTO THE MIX
#i am fucking crying#i am in ruin#it has grabbed me by the ankle and it is yanking me back to the hole#LET ME BE FREE PLEASEE#I CANT DO THIS PAIN AGAIN#AHHHHHHHHHHH#lord of the rings#the hobbit#lotr#bilbo baggins#thorin oakenshield#bagginshield#thranduil#bard the bowman#the hobbit bard#the hobbit thranduil#the hobbit thorin#the hobbit trilogy#barduil#ao3
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Wine (Thranduil x Reader)
Kinktober day 6: Size difference
I’m gonna be honest here there isn’t a lot of that, but there sure as hell is a lot of other things in there.
Warning: implied consent, food play, gem play? Size difference, yandere tendency, ooc a little bit, etc, etc you get the point not for kid
Genre: filthy filthy smut
｡･ﾟ･｡+☆+｡･ﾟ･｡+☆+｡･ﾟ･｡+☆+｡･ﾟ･｡+☆+｡･ﾟ･｡+☆+｡･ﾟ･｡+☆+｡･ﾟ･｡+☆+｡･ﾟ･｡
You were quite excited to see your childhood friend again, seeing how you guys hasn’t seen each other since you left.
You tried finding him at the banquet, assuming you can find the owner of the castle at his own banquet, but sadly he was nowhere to be found.
Figuring he will find you himself, you decided to just enjoy the banquet.
You were laughing at the joke the elf in front of you made, when a guard told you the king want you. You quickly nodded with a little “Finally” under your breath, before you politely excuse yourself and went to find the king.
Eventually following the directions the guard gave you, you reached the garden and found Thranduil staring into the lake, as the moon reflect off his hair.
You quickly run towards him, and when he turn around you jumped into his arm.
“Thranduil, I miss you! How have you been?”
Thranduil wrapped his arm around your waist, use to your bubbly personality that’s so different from his and how tiny you was compared to him.
“I couldn’t find you anywhere, I was about to think you have decided to hate me,”
Thranduil listen on as you continue to chatter in his arm, oblivious to the way he felt.
It’s been so long, too long since you guys has last seen each other.
But despite all that, you were still like the way he remembered. Like a ray of light that attract everyone.
Remembering the elf he saw you talking to earlier he tighten his hold around you.
“An- ow! Thranduil let go a bit your holding on too tightly,”
“My apologies, it’s just been a while,”
Hearing that you let out a giggle, surprise at how unlikely it was for him to reveal his feeling.
“I didn’t know you missed me that much,”
‘Oh more then you will ever know’
Thranduil thought as a dark color flash through his eyes.
You ignored the way he hold on too tight, thinking it was a temporary feeling.
Eventually Thranduil offered to take you to tour his vault.
You agreed knowing full well how much he pride in his gem collection. Also gems are pretty.
You followed him to a vault door you have never seen before, and ask,
“Is this new? I could have sworn I broke into every vault this place has?”
He nodded his head and said,
“My personal vault, made after you left,”before gesturing for you to go in.
Which you did and you marvel at the beauty of it. Jewelry and treasure are everywhere and piles and piles of white gem can be seen in chest aligning the shelf.
“Walk around and have a look, (Y/N),”
You did exactly that and promptly tripped and sent a few shelf crashing on the ground.
Thranduil pulled you into his chest to protect you from the chaos and after all was calm, you nearly cry at the messed you made.
White gem litter the floor, what was once neat and organized is now a land of chaos.
With shaking breath you hold onto Thranduil and ask,
“How much are all of these worth?”
Thranduil looked around and gave you a number that you cannot pay off, seeing how you were sulking in the corner he said,
“Do something for me and the debt will be paid,”
You jumped up in excitement and ask，
“Really?!”
After being reassured you quickly agreed and Thranduil told you what he wanted you to do.
“Make some wine for you? That’s it?” you tilted your head at the odd request,
Thranduil nodded his head, before stating his reason,
“I have heard of a way to make the most delicious wine, but the way to make it is a bit, ah how do I say this, personal. So help me and our debt will be paid,”
“Weird, but okay,”
Thranduil told you to stay here, before leaving and coming back with a container and a basket of grape.
He then picked you up onto a table before commanding,
“Open your leg,”
“What?”
Thranduil look down and with a tiny smirk he said,
“The wine it self need to be made from grape crushed in a elve’s slit,”
Hearing his word, your face turn beet red.
“Wha- thats no- I didn’t know!”
“You don’t have to do it, you could just pay off the debt,”
Not having the money and embarrass from the idea, you try to beg for mercy, which didn’t work.
Finally decided, you grit your teeth and agreed. After all it’s just crushing some grape, no one has to know.
Seeing your acceptance, he gently peeled off your outfit. Looking at your tiny slit with a intent that made you blush.
“St-stop staring and get started, Thranduil,”
Seeing your blushing face, he smiled,
“If you insist my lady,”
He then tried to pushed his finger into it,
“Eeeek! Wha-what are you doing?”
“I have to check something,” with that he stopped his attempt and insert the first grape,
You shivered from both the freezing coolness of the grape and having something intrude into your body.
One, two, three, soon you lost count of how many was in you, and you clinged on to Thranduil sleeve as he continue without stopping, putting more into you.
“Ho-how many, ungh, more is there?
Seeing how you’re on the verge of tear, he stopped and gave you a kiss on your forehead,
“This should be good for now, you’re doing so well,”
You shuddered as you felt the grape moved in your stomach. With shaking hand you pushed down on it, hoping the pressure could crush it and you can be over with it.
“Haaa…”
You let out whimper as tear streams down your face. Struggling to do the task as a unfamiliar feeling wash over you.
Thranduil watch as you struggle.
You’re so tiny compare to him, he wonder if you can even take all of him in.
You was already struggling with a single finger, he might just break you.
He has always want to do that, ever since he first met you.
What was once a feeling of destruction has change to lust. Watching as you shudder and cry from the task he handed you only increase the feeling.
Eventually watching you suffered enough, he lift up your hand and you looked up with teary eye.
“You’re doing it too slow, beg and I will help you,”
Normally you will question this behavior, but this isn’t normally.
“Pl-please help me, Thranduil,”
“As you wish then,”
He forced his already waiting member into your tiny body, and you hold onto him as you sobbed from the pain of being split open, the difference in size being evident.
As he split you open and slammed into you, the grape in your tunnel were crushed and juice came flying out.
But most of them went deeper into your body as Thranduil has his fun with you.
“St-stop….ahhhh….sl-slow down…. too big, uhgghh….pl-please….”
You arched your back closer to Thranduil as he hit a sweet spot and you lose your ability to do anything, but sob and moan.
Noticing this, with a mischievous glint in his eyes that rare for him, he repeatedly hit that spot hard and fast.
“Ahhhhh…I’m gonna cu-“ you didn’t get to finish as you momentarily blacked out from your orgasm,
Once you regain your consciousness (or whatever you have left) Thranduil forced your hand to push down on your belly,
“This is your debt, (Y/N). I shouldn’t be doing all the work,”
You cry as you felt the thing moving inside your body, crushing the fruit and creating a bulge in your stomach the shape of his member, as it bring you pleasure you have never experience.
Thranduil hold your body closer to his as he kissed away your tear and whispered,
“You’re doing so well right now, (Y/N). I didn’t think you can fit it all. I think you can take the rest of it,”
You shake your head hoping he will have mercy on you,
“N-no, please-ahhhhh! Too f-full, please, hahhh!”
Thranduil ignored your plead, and kissed you, easily slipping his tongue into your mouth. As you were distracted he quickly pulled out and insert the rest of the grape into you, before picking you up and start destroying you again.
Eventually he manage to slammed into your womb and paint your womb white with his semen. You let out a scream, as your womb was filled to the brim with a mixture of semen and grape juice.
After several minutes Thranduil finally stop cumming and pulled out. You let out a relief sobbed, as the liquid leaked out of you
Just as you thought it was over, Thranduil hold you in his embrace, completely towering over you and suddenly feeling a sense of dread, you saw him playing with something in his hand.
Confused and scared, you lightly tugged on his shirt hoping for a explanation.
He looked at your tearstained face and hold up the thing he was playing with, a large white gem.
“Have you forgotten, (Y/N)? Wine need to be fermented,”
Hearing this you struggled to get out of his grasp, knowing what’s gonna happen if you don’t.
“Calm down, it’s just to make sure nothing leaks out,”
With that ignoring your struggle, he forced the gem into your drenching fold.
“….haaa, no… please, uuugh… I’m so full… aaaah… please, take it out, ahhhhh! Take it out!”
Wiping away your tear, Thranduil left kisses on your body as his hand sadistically pushes down on your belly.
“———!!!”
Looking into your dazed eyes, Thranduil smiled and said,
“I will take it out, if you promise me to never leave,”
“If you promised to love me,”
“Then this can be over and our debt paid,”
Desperate for it to be over, you immediately agreed,
“I-I love you, haaa… Thranduil, uuugh…”
His long finger digging into your tunnel,
“I- I will never, ahhh!”
He grabbed the gem,
“Go on, I’m listening”
“I will, uuugh… never, leave you…. Unnf…”
The gem was taken out, glistening from your slick and his semen, was quickly replaced by his member as he pounded into you once again.
“Th-ahhh! This wasnt- haa part of the, mmph- deal!”
“I did remove the gem. As for letting you go I will do it when I’m satisfied with your answer, don’t worry I have the patience,”
Thranduil fucked you in the vault among the pile of treasure, forcing you to promise you will never leave and making you repeat you love him over and over.
“I love you, *hic Thranduil *hic please stop…”
Thranduil watch as you mumble in your sleep, your face stained with tear.
Finally satisfied he hold your tiny body to his, as the contract has been made you will never leave him.
You choose to ignore the warning sign, which sealed your fate.
But who was to say you didn’t love him?
#x reader#reader insert#reader smut#no i don’t have problems#kinktober#thranduil#kinktober 2022#thranduil x reader#I can’t fucking spell his name#thranduil smut
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Thranduil and Bard really ate their 7 minutes of the screen time😋 and I watched all 3 films just for them so here’s another fanart of these two
#artists on tumblr#fanart#bard the bowman#thranduil#lotr fanart#the hobbit#y’all I’m obsessed#cinematography#really great I’m not showing you sketch#since it was ugly as fuck#god I love them
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This is a chronic illness
#aemond targaryen#dmc dante#dante sparda#vergil#dmc vergil#vergil sparda#devil may cry#dmc5#final fantasy 7#final fantasy vii#sephiroth#final fantasy 7 remake#incorrect sephiroth quotes#incorrect sephiroth#aemond one eye#thranduil#the hobbit#geralt of rivia#the witcher#silver blonde men with cool swords and radiating arrogance? fuck me
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Brown eyes are extremely rare amongst elves, particularly the Sindarin. The only elf Thranduil had ever known to have brown eyes was his father. Until Legolas was born.
#lord of the rings#the hobbit#headcanons#Legolas with brown eyes is 👌 👌 👌#fuck those creepy ass contacts in The Hobbit#legolas#thranduil#oropher
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My reaction watching every fucking fandom that im in:
#the hobbit#lotr#star wars#solosky#obikin#aralas#bard x thranduil#the witcher#geraskier#etc#i cant even list all of them my fucking god#i love them all equally
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stoopid headcanon but i find it funny:
thranduil and elrond be doing the 'catch-up after THE catch-up' talk, the one that mother's do when it's time to leave but 'oh, here's the cake', 'oh, have you heard?', 'i do have a remedy for that, hold on'. and it can go for hours.
(horsemen don't even get the horses ready after the first call anymore because they just know that elrond and thranduil will stand at the top of the staircase and talk-talk-talk).
so, imagine young legolas sleeping on the steps, just a little lower the spot where lord elrond and his father be talking without a stop, because he is tired little leaf and arwen and elladan and elrohir are in beds already and legolas is yet to leave imladris. why do they even leave into the night when they all know this happens every single time?!
#you can tell i read too much incorrect quotes about these two#it's so funny to imagine them bonding over their children#i still have no idea about the ages of the kids let me have it as a really stretched headcanon if i fucked up#but elrond and thranduil as father's#my poor weak heart#i am IMAGINING#thranduil oropherion#elrond peredhel#legolas#arwen#elladan#elrohir#lotr headcanons#the hobbit headcanons#may thinks thoughts
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You know, I'm a huge fan of mirkwood elves being considered creepy and downright terrifying by almost everyone on Middle Earth, even by other elves. Your headcanons of them being nocturnal and eating the fuckin spawn of ungoliant of all things add on to this, sooo, can I have some incorrect quotes about some scary elves?
As asked for, some incorrect quotes:
Legolas: *starting to gut the spider carcasses after a skirmish*
The twins, who are visiting: what are you doing?!
Legolas: look, we can share if you want-
~~~~~
*in Imlardis*
The twins: *throw the curtains wide open* good morning!
Legolas: *hisses* wHAT DEVILISH CONTRAPTION-
~~~~~~~~~
Elrond: *talking about how food is scarce atm in Imlardis*
Thranduil: *pauses* you kill dozens of orcs on the regular, and you still don’t have enough food?
~~~~~~~~~
Faramir: I heard that those elves of Mirkwood will eat anyone and anything they deem an enemy.
Aragorn: oh, that’s an exaggeration-
Legolas:......
Aragorn: that’s an exaggeration, right legolas-
~~~~~~~~~~
Legolas: you two are like the sun
The twins: awww, thank you-
Legolas: a nuisance.
~~~~~~~~~~
Legolas: look if you’re stupid enough to challenge my people, you get eaten if you loose. That’s the rules of engagement.
~~~~~~~~~~
Thranduil: nighttime is Funtime
*silvans cackling in the distance as they slaughter all who cross their path*
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thranduil: of course I would never hurt a tree! They are Eru’s gift to the universe!
Thranduil: you, however-
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Galion: oh, the noldor are always like “oh no! The darkness! By god what will we do when there are no farms! The night is so scary”
Galion: bitch, what do you think life was like before ya’ll came?
~~~~~~~~~~~
Legolas: Eru may judge me, but honestly, fuck him.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Legolas: *dragging a spider corpse* life’s too short to care about other people’s opinions-
Aragorn: you’re immortal!
Legolas: fine, life’s too long to care about other people’s opinions. Happy?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Glorfindel: alright, looks like- wHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?
Arwen:*snacking on a spider leg* this is really good!
Legolas, vibrating with excitement: I know, right!?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*in valinor post lotr*
Gandalf: ok, Thranduil has finally sailed, which means I need to get out of here before he catches me because he will definitely eat me for endangering his son-
Thranduil: hello, Gandalf!
Gandalf: *incoherent screaming*
#silvans#silvan elves#incorrect tolkien quotes#lord of the rings#thranduil#lotr#legolas#mirkwood#the hobbit#greenwood the great#the silvans genuinly don’t give a fuck about other people’s opinions#they aren’t mad at the noldor for the silmaril debacle#honestly they aren’t that cross with them at all#they are a bit peeved at how they came in and said ‘mine now’ about the land#without consulting literally anyone though#but eh#they believe karma has paid it’s due#except for Galadriel#honestly the silvans of Greenwood do not like her#anyway#the silvans are half a step away from being eldritches#Legolas will fight Eru and the valar in the back parking lot of a Denny’s with no hesitation#the valar: we are the gods#the silvans: sounds fake
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Not people who mischaracterize Thranduil interacting with me💀 this is NOT a safe place for y'all and if you don't realize you're mischaracterizing him j beg you to rewatch the movies bro is not a heartless piece of shit that's a controlling lover💀
Like yeah he'd want to know if you were like leaving or going into the forest considering there's big fucking spiders and a shit tone of dangers out there but he's not gonna put you on house arrest💀
#the hobbit#thranduil#lord of the rings#this is not a safe space#He's such a good character I'm fucking tired of y'all turning him into a shitty boyfriend
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If Thranduil was Thranduil's guardian angel:
#thranduil#the hobbit#lee pace#my edits#the hobbit botfa#guardian angel#what in the fuckity fuck are you doing
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Damn.... Legolas' family tree is so complex, you know.... I LOVE how Tolkien truly took his time writing more about Mirkwood's royal family.... So much depth in this....
Like... Just look at all the names... It is so easy to get lost in it, you see.... You truly cannot look at it for long or then the amount of names here might as well give you a headache....
#istfg tolkien#he wrote so so much about the noldors#why couldnt he give legolas and his lineage a single thought#like... it wouldn't kill him you know#it wouldn't fucking kill him to tell us. idk. Who Legolas Mother Is. you know....b#I don't think I'd be that hard... or then to just... give us his birth date or some shit#like come on man...#please.....#legolas#thranduil#oropher
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