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wordsbyrian · 9 months

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Surgeries and Surprises - Alex Morgan x Reader

Summary: "Skater!R gets injured", "Skater!R skates in XGames", "IDK but more Skater!R"

A/n: Look, I finally wrote a thing you guys! From multiple request for more Skater!R

Despite popular belief, skateboarding is an incredibly multifaceted activity.

There are so many different disciplines: street, vert, park, freestyle, downhill (and its variation street luge), and cruising.

For the first four, there are different competitions that skaters can compete in if they are so inclined. And in all honesty, you are usually not inclined to compete, preferring the unpredictable nature of actual street skating to the polished finish of comps like Street League, XGames, and Dew Tour.

But the chance to be one of the first skateboarders to compete in the Olympics.

Well, that’s not really something you can pass up on.

Which is why you’re skating in your 5th comp of the summer.

Not the worst schedule but you’re an idiot and made the choice to also try and get clips for your next video parts in your very limited free time.

Free time, that was only made more limited by the way you were constantly flying back and forth to France to support your wife in the World Cup.

All of this is to say that your body is currently going through it.

And, unluckily, it’ll keep going through it because XGames comps are not set up in a way that plays to your strengths, with only three 45 seconds runs to string together a line and show the judges what you can do.

Luckily, on the other hand, your flight out of Minneapolis is booked for immediately after the contest ends.

Your first two timed runs went pretty well but you know you can do better which is why you saved your best stuff for your final run.

And for the most part, your final run goes pretty well until you get to your last trick with 10 seconds remaining.

You had planned it out perfectly so that you had enough time to take a breath before giving it a go. A necessary precaution for a trick you're familiar with but not a master at, a frontside flip noseslide to fakie, especially since you’re trying it down the biggest obstacle, the 4-block rail.

A little homage to Reynolds, something you’ve been doing throughout the contest season.

Except there are a couple of problems.

The first is that, unlike Reynolds, you are not a master of the frontside flip.

The other is that after a long day of being skated by just about everyone, the rail had picked up the wax from everyone’s boards, making it slicker than you need it to be for your noseslide.

Which is why you aren’t very surprised when you hit the ground. The only surprising thing is how much it hurts.

You immediately roll over and begin to stand up and take a few steps, only to drop to one knee after barely making it anywhere.

As you try to gather the strength to stand again, you’re stopped by someone placing a hand on your shoulder.

“Stay down, Y/N/N.” It’s Reynolds. “You just used your head as a basketball and your arm is fucked. They’re bringing out a stretcher.”

“I’m fine,” you say, trying to get up again. “I don’t need a stretcher.”

His hand gets firmer and you feel him pushing you to sit down properly.

“I’m serious, Y/N, I’m serious,” he says. “I’m telling you this as your friend, not as your boss. You need to go to the hospital, your shit is fucked.”

It’s at this moment that you realize how quiet the arena is.

It’s almost as if you can hear the individualized breaths of everyone in the building and honestly, it's making your head pound in a way that you wish you weren’t familiar with.

Then you see the EmTs rolling the stretcher towards you.

“Fuck dude,” you groan, resigning yourself to your fate. “Just don’t call Alex, man, she’s gonna freak out.”

“It’s too late, she already texted me she’s trying to get on the next flight out.”

“Shit.”

The entire process of letting the EMTs do their jobs is a hassle because it’s painfully obvious that they don’t deal with skateboarders often. And it takes a lot of convincing for you to even let them strap you to the backboard.

Your memory blurs out a bit after that.

The only thing you really remember besides waking up in the hospital is telling Reynolds to make sure that they don’t give you anything stronger than a Tylenol (that didn’t happen).

When you regain consciousness it’s to the sound of voices, two you recognize and one you don’t.

“She should be coming out of the anesthesia soon,” the recognizable voice says, a doctor maybe. “In addition to her mild concussion, there were some moderate tears to her deltoid that were repaired in surgery. Unfortunately, there’s not much we can do about the fractures to the humeral head as we can’t cast the area.”

“She’s not going to like the sound of that,” you hear Alex say, “Not going to like that at all.”

“Unfortunately, whether she likes it or not doesn’t really matter. She needs to be in the sling for a few weeks at least,” the doctor says.

“Alright, thanks doc,” Reynolds' loud voice makes the headache you forgot you had worse. “Don’t worry Alex, she’s been through worse. Besides, the medal will make her feel better.”

“Not now Andrew.”

The door to your room opens a tiny bit and through squinted eyes, you watch as both your wife and mentor slip through the crack, closing the door behind them.

When they get close enough that you can make out the details on their faces, you stick your hand out to Alex and attempt to pull her into the hospital bed with you.

She doesn’t let you though and instead releases your hand to pull the only chair closer to the bed.

“Not so fast, hotshot,” she says, keeping her voice low.

“I told Andrew to tell you that you didn’t need to come all the way out here. You should be at home resting,” you tell her.

“And I told him that I was already on my way to the airport.”

“And I told you,” Reynolds says, frowning at you, “that I wasn’t going to risk having your wife mad at me.”

You roll your eyes at him.

“Now here’s your medal, silver’s not too bad considering you knocked yourself out,” he says, placing the item on the edge of the bed. “I’ll see you around bro.”

Both you and Alex watch as he quickly exits the room, moving sort of like his ass is on fire, and leaving the two of you alone.

The second the door fully shuts behind him you turn back to Alex and see more than her sigh deeply.

“How do you feel…”

“Why weren’t you…”

You both try to speak at the same time.

“No, you go ahead,” you tell her.

“Well, first of all, were you just about to ask how I’m feeling while you are literally laying in a hospital bed,” she asks.

You shrug somewhat sheepishly and say, “I mean you just flew halfway across the country and I know you haven’t been feeling the best lately.”

“Y/N/N, you’re ridiculous.”

“Anyway,” she says, rolling her eyes at you, “Why weren’t you wearing a helmet? You can only smash your head so many times before the damage is irreversible and I don’t like constantly being called to hospitals wondering if this time is the one.”

You take a second to let her words sink in.

She’s right.

Ever since the two of you reconnected and subsequently got together roughly 4 years ago, you’ve been injured quite a bit.

This is your 3rd concussion and 4th broken. You’ve also ruptured your achilles, cracked a few ribs, had one of your lungs collapse, and gotten over 50 stitches from various gashes gained from getting cut open skating some sketchy spots.

That’s not even counting the smaller ones that you haven’t told her about, like when you sprained your ankle visiting her during the Rio Olympics.

But admitting that Alex is right has never been something you’re great at.

So instead you just scoot over in the bed and ask her to lay down with you again.

It takes a bit of pleading but you do get her to join you and when she does, you’re quick to wiggle around into a position that's comfortable but still allows you to hold her.

With the knowledge that your current position makes it impossible for her to see your face, you can’t help but crack a joke.

“C'mon, babe, you know that helmets are for hills and hills only,” you say, finally answering her question, only to immediately recoil as she pinches you. “Okay, I’m sorry. I know I really freaked you out today and I hate that I keep forcing you to come see me in hospitals. And I…” she cuts you off.

“You’re not forcing me to do anything,” she protests, keeping her voice light. “I love you even though you seem dead set on destroying your body.”

“It’s not really on purpose,” you say, pulling her impossibly closer. “I don’t know how to explain it but sometimes when I skate it’s like an out-of-body experience. Nothing matters except how good it’s gonna feel when I roll away. I can barely even think straight when I’m on my board but that obviously means I don’t think about how my choices affect others and that’s not fair to you.”

When you finish speaking, the first thing you hear from your wife is a sigh that can only be described as annoyed.

“What,” you ask.

“You’re an idiot,” she says.”

“Babe,” your voice is indignant, and too loud even to your own ears.

“I’m sorry but you’re so dumb,” she says. “I’m not concerned because of how it affects me, I care about how it affects you. You’ve been acting strangely all summer and I don’t really want to see where this path takes you.”

Once again Alex is right.

And her pointing out your recent odd behavior, something you hadn’t noticed yourself, is like a bucket of ice water over your head.

Taking a deep breath, you nod even though she can’t see you and say, “I think I need to call my sponsor.”

“That sounds like a good idea.”

Unfortunately, between your concussion and having to travel back to Orlando, the call to your sponsor had to wait a few days.

And in those few days, you begin to really notice the behaviors Alex had mentioned.

Even before your injury, you were stressed and anxious but you had ignored it, believing it was tied to the comps and upcoming deadlines.

But now with those things mostly out of the way, the intensity of these feelings is familiar and you aren’t very fond of the places you ended up the last few times you felt like this.

And the isolation of being trapped at home, unable to do much more than stare at the walls and wait for Alex to get back from training, only made those feelings stronger.

When you’re finally able to make that call and the first words finally come out of your mouth, it’s as though the weight of the world comes off your shoulders.

Recovery isn’t an instant process but you do instantly feel a little better as you explain your recent behaviors that you now recognize as somewhat erratic.

And when the call ends, you have a list of dates, times, and locations so you can go to a meeting whenever you need to.

The only thing that's really left for you to do is talk to your wife when she gets home but that might be the hardest part.

So you wait, completing as many boring household tasks as you can to make the time pass more quickly.

It doesn’t really work that well because you only have one arm to work with. And you're just unlucky enough that it's your dominant hand out of commission.

You’re in the middle of unloading the dishwasher when you hear the front door open and shut.

It doesn’t take long for Alex to find you and in the back of your mind, you know that the only reason she didn’t shout your name across the house like she normally does is because of your lingering headache.

“Hey babe,” you hear her greet as you bend over to place a pot in its designated cabinet.

“Hi,” you respond, standing back up and turning to face her, only to see that she’s already taken a seat at the island. “Oh, that’s the serious conversation chair,” you note, going to lean on the counter opposite her.

“I mean it is serious but it’s nothing bad.”

“If it’s nothing bad, do you mind if I go first,” you ask, “Mine isn’t bad either but I finally got around to giving Noah a call.”

When you say that it's almost as though you can feel the energy in the room shift.

“How did that go?”

“It definitely went.”

“Are you going to elaborate or…”

Sighing deeply, you shuffle your feet, focusing on the way your socks slip over the tile.

“Apparently, when you’re really stressed and overly tired your brain chemistry changes,” you tell her, now looking up at the ceiling. “Which makes people look for things to relieve the stress, which can be a bad thing for addicts. And between the video parts, qualifiers, and flying all over the place, I haven’t actually had a chance to sit down and think, much less attend a meeting. But now, when I would’ve had a chance to, I can barely be in a room with lights on for more than 15 minutes.”

There’s a moment of silence before Alex responds and as it passes, you can feel your heart sink further and further into your stomach. This is the moment that she finally decides that being with you is far more work than it's worth.

Your downward spiral is broken by the sound of her voice.

“I guess that means that we have to come up with ways for you to handle stress when you're busy,” Alex says, “because you’re only about to get busier.”

“What? No, I’m not, the next two competitions are at the end of the month and I literally can’t skate for the next month and a half.”

“3 months,” she shoots back, “and yes you will.”

“You’re not making any sense Alex.”

Alex gets up from her seat and makes her way toward you. Before you know it, she’s reaching out for your good hand, which to this point has had a death grip on the counter behind you, not that you’ve noticed.

With a confused look on your face, you watch as she pulls your hand to rest against her stomach before covering it with both of her own.

Still confused, it takes you longer than you’d like to admit to figure out why she would do that.

It’s only when you remember the seemingly never-ending nausea Alex has been dealing with that you connect the dots.

“Oh shit.”

#uswnt fanfic #uswnt imagine #uswnt x reader #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso x reader #alex morgan x reader #alex morgan imagine #alex morgan

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cocainegirlsnblunts · 4 months

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Smoothies In 1991

Jack Harlow - Officially meeting Jack

Interviewer: So can you two tell us where you first met and what were your first impressions on each other.

you started cracking up thinking about that day.

10/27/21.

After 2019 you weren’t so much in the spotlight, only because you chose too. You liked to be as private as possible and your work already got the recognition it deserved. Plus you’ve already done a few interviews here and there.

You were struggling with a lot at the time and the only option you had was to take a break from your career. You stayed lowkey, stopped posting, and anytime you were in a picture or anything it was RARE.

But anyway, 2021 you started to plan your comeback and so your friend Cole posted you on your Birthday

@colebennett ✓⃝

liked by madisonbeer, chanteljeffries, mariahthescientist and 238,595 others

colebennett happy 22nd birthday twin

And Cole has worked with many people, including Jack Harlow. Who you didn’t even know really but Cole had the amazing idea to take him to the Birthday Party your lovely Best Friend, Kali Uchis was throwing you.

Your Birthday is in late October so you always have a Costume Party. This year it was a Jazz Club/Old Hollywood themed.

Many people that you’ve worked with or have a bond with came. Here are some of the people who attended.

As you’re talking with friends, Cole approaches you with some people you’ve never met and didn’t really recognize.

“Yo Arlette” he yells.

“Cole Hey!!” you say noticing there’s some people behind him.

“Look I just wanted to introduce you to my boys here, you might know some of em, this is Jack, Jack Harlow.”

the world stopped spinning when you looked into his eyes, and you damn near lost your breath when he reached for handshake.

“Happy Birthday.” he says

“nice to meet you☺️☺️” omfg. LIKE WHO IS THIS???!??? you were screaming on the inside, last person you were geeking over was Jordan. (playboicarti)

“And then this is Urban and Druski” Cole continues to introduce you.

you greet them all with a smile and a nice to meet you, because like we mentioned earlier we aren’t so aware of the people poppin at the moment😬 but some knew you

“Hey I really love your work dude, New Choppa was insane” - Urban says

“Thank you so muchhh!” you say with a smile.

Fast forward the night, you took some pictures with your friends and everyone, including Jack because Cole insisted.

Cole posted it on his story and everyone was going crazy because this was your first appearance since 2019. (yk how we freak out when we see frank ocean, this is how everyone was reacting to you)

You: So yeah to break it all down, I wanted Jacks fine ass since the day I met him.

Jack’s Pov

At the time I was on the rise of my Career. The song I was featured on with Lil Nas X was the #1 song in the world. Got Nominated for hella stuff, got hella awards. I was really accomplishing my dreams.

My friend Cole Bennett, creator of Lyrical Lemonde, fucking legend. I’ve worked with him for the music video of What’s Poppin my first hit ever.

He had this friend, and I had known of Arlette because she was a big help in the artistic side of this industry and uh, Urban has mentioned her name to me before when he’d show me some album covers, or a music video but, i never knew the face behind all that was arlette’s beautiful self.

So it’s October, all these halloween parties are happening and Cole had hit me up and said, “Yo I have this friend, Arlette Viotto she works in the same category as me. I don’t know if you’ve heard of her but, she’s having a birthday party today at 9 PM they’re always really sick, i’d love for you to meet her man.

And me like I said I never even seen what she looked like, but I looked her up on google and I was sent to a whole different dimension looking at how beautiful she was. I was also appalled reading everything she was behind like damn I never knew. But I hit Cole back I said I am going to that party, we invited more of our friends and walking into this lil jazz club, they were playing that techno shit, it got turnt.

And I’m walking around I see hella people here, some people are coming to greet me ya know telling me congrats on being number one all that. Cole brings me to go meet this Arlette Viotto. And man was she even prettier in person.

Meanwhile Urban was over here fangirling, i remember. That shit was hilarious, but yeah I used my skills of eye contact and smooth talking. It was love at first sight.

okay first of all sorry for taking forever on this. I have gotten so unmotivated on like everything i been wanting to write about but here is what i have of this Jack Harlow series im attempting to do. I hope you love it and there’s more coming, trust and believe!!

#smoothiesin1991 #cocainegirlsnblunts #jackharlowswifey #jack harlow fanfic #cole bennett #halloween #jazz music #when we first met #jack harlow #jack harlow smut #kali uchis #larry june

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heraldofcrow · 1 year

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Every so often I’ll try to peek into fandoms for other video games/shows/movies and see if they’re worth joining and….ugh.

I’m not gonna lie. It just makes me feel so lucky to be apart of the Soulsborne fandom in general. I have been here for years now and I have never felt the stress or strain of classic fandom toxicity the way I do when I spend only a day or two trying to rummage through other fandoms. Negative fan behavior and strife has literally kept me out of so many other online communities. I rarely feel secure anywhere else.

But Soulsborne? Sure, we have the stuck-up git gud crowd that doesn’t understand what git gud really means, we have bitter casuals that spam the most overpowered weapons until those weapons get nerfed and then they start screaming, we have some occasional lore disagreements that usually involve something to do with old men and their dolls, we sometimes have sibling-style fights over the second Dark Souls game that lead to some pretty intense verbal exchanges, though the second a FromSoftware hater gets involved, everyone teams up and roasts them for daring to diss any Dark Souls game because how dare you.

But that’s about it. Ship wars are almost nonexistent/extremely tamed, there aren’t fandom morality teams, there aren’t flocks of raging teens attacking voice actors or writers, there aren’t internet-viral horror stories about the utter madness of gatekeeping revolutions or bullying campaigns, etc..

It’s just chill and full of good memes and people that would be considered clinically insane if they ever casually said the things they say when discussing lore intricacies. No girl, you can’t explain to your neighbor why you believe that consuming three umbilical cords, killing the moon, and ascending to squidhood is the best possible option to choose when trapped in a world enslaved to The Cycle, but you absolutely can say that here! Let’s talk about it!!

Hell, we even have dozens of stories and anecdotes about how Dark Souls helped people through depression and anxiety. I mean, Solaire exists. Japanese artists draw some of the cutest chibi art of him and other wholesome characters as though we were in a fandom for kids. Or rather, how kid fandoms were meant to be. Ha.

Oh and, speaking of artists? The content creators in this fandom? You guys are literally some of the most talented people I’ve ever seen. The streamers, the artists, the writers, the lore freaks, the data-miners, the musicians, the comedy crowd, the illustrators, the comic/zine creators, the meme lords? This community thrives on these people. We are drowning in content every day thanks to them!

I just love it here. It’s like my Firelink Shrine. A safe little haven full of weird people that are actually my friends. I’ve gotten through some of the heaviest points in my life thus far with undeniable encouragement from these damn games and the community built around them. This is what fandoms were meant to be, my friends.

#sorry this was a gratitude rant #i just tried recently to join another fandom and i swear i could feel my mental health declining #whereas every time i go online to see what the Souls people are up to my mood is just immediately brightened #and it’s literally been this way for years #i have yet to see it change #Miyazaki knew what he was doing lol #soulsborne #soulsborne fandom #dark souls #bloodborne #demon’s souls #elden ring #sekiro #hidetaka miyazaki #CrowNotes

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juliapark13 · 11 months

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"It all depends on what you see and how you interpret it."

I'm seriously tired of this bs. No, it does not. There’s a thing called FACTS.

Intimacy is intimacy. Though there are some cultural variations, love is love and it looks pretty much the same whenever you are around the globe. Crazy, huh?

Jungkook filmed GCF in Tokyo. He sucked Jimin's ear. Jimmy gave him a hickey. He watched Suchwita with Jimin and Jimin compilation videos for close to an hour and a half smiling and giggling and staying laser focus like we rarely see him do. This is only a teeny-tiny sample of stuff Jikook has done.

Now, ask yourself in which circumstances people have that kind of behavior. Or try to show those jikook moments to the guys that you know. Your brothers, your cousins, your male friends. (Which I’m going to assume you probably don’t have). Ask them if they do the same or would do the same to their best friend. Would they go on a trip with their best friend, film a vlog of their trip and put a love song on the background. Would they suck their best friend’s ear. Let them give them a hickey. Would they watched for an hour and a half videos of said friend with stars in their eyes while watching it.

Yeah, have fun ridiculising yourself. You all saying things like that seriously lack abilities in reading people's emotions. You also clearly don't interact with men, don’t have a circle of male friends. I grew up surrounded by men, in my family and as my circle of friends because I’m what we would called a "tomboy". And whenever I read stuff like "every ship has suspicious moments", "jikook aren’t different from the other ships" yada yada yada I just can’t help but roll my eyes and laugh. Yes, they are different, they are. Sorry to tell you this but what they have is way beyond the realm of friendship, especially for two guys, no matter their cultural background, and I don’t even understand how this is not freaking obvious to everyone in this fandom. You all spend so much time on the Internet rather than interacting with people in real life that you don’t even have the capacity to understand basic human emotions or what? I just don’t get it, it’s crazy to me. You guys make no sense, get out social media for a while and observe the world around you. Watch people. You’ll learn a lot. For real.

Wow. Thank you. 👏🏽🔥

I was a nonshiper. But I get to see GCFT and then GCFS and I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact Jungkook is a perfectionist, he always knows what he does, so could it actually means they are more than friends? Then I get to know everything that happend, while always watching also original content.

I never shipped them, but I think there is no option they are only friends. I think it’s very sad this fandom always overlook and ignore what they do, because their interactions make them uncomfortable (only their). The difference between jikook and other ships is so huge. It’s so obvious.

And that they are still together is also obvious, but at the end of the day everyone believes what they want to believe.

#jikook #kookmin

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swiftyangx12 · 8 months

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🕷️The Adventures of Agent Arachnis!🕸️

[Ep. 3: Briefing & Chill out]

[Valorant x Marvel]

[Synopsis]: Arachnis has more to tell about Earth 2020-6-2 (Valorant Universe) and it’s mostly a chilled out day.

[Gender Neutral Reader]

[(A/N)]: Yeah, I’m still working on the OC. Just need some time working on their traits and backstory.

[Earth-928, Spider Society H.Q.]

[Spider-Man 2099’s lair]

Arachnis: So, you’re still questioning about my world and line of work?

Miguel: It’s unlikely we recruited a Spider-based hero who has no variations of Spider-Man’s enemies.

Arachnis: That should be a good thing since we’re already dealing with doppelgängers stealing our power source. *Hooks up their tablet to the computer*

Peter B. Parker: What are you about to show us?

Arachnis: Video feeds of the agents doing their duties. Lyla, is everything ready?

Lyla: Yep! *Plays the video*

youtube

Peter B. Parker: What’s with the music?

Arachnis: Sorry. My colleague, Cypher edited these videos and he likes to add dramatization to everything.

Miguel: This is where we caught the Goblin variant.

Arachnis: Yeah, back on Omega Earth where I freaked out because we were on their territory.

Peter B. Parker: Huh. Sounds like you two had fun on your “date”.

Miguel & Arachnis: We’re not dating.

Lyla: Wow. You have so many video feeds. *Plays another one*

youtube

Peter B. Parker: *Growing concern* Are you sure this alright to watch this?

Arachnis: Peter, everything is heavily edited in case newly recruited agents are too squeamish when reviewing these feeds.

Peter B. Parker: What if the kids see these videos?

Arachnis: I added a passcode to the feeds for security reasons and only agents can access them. *Points to themselves*

Lyla: *Plays another feed* These look fun.

youtube

Arachnis: Oh yeah. For odd reasons, he likes to add titles and thumbnails like if they’re cinematic episodes or something.

Peter B. Parker: You have a training bot?

Arachnis: We had one, but everyone destroyed the thing. Originally, it was a cleaner bot and some agents decided to rebuild it as a killing machine for petty games, and it was completely demolished because it tried to eliminate us all.

Peter B. Parker: Oh. At least you’re okay.

Miguel: [Y/N], why aren’t you in any of these feeds?

Arachnis: I wasn’t recruited yet until later and had stealth missions during those times. I have some clips with me in them. *Shows some exclusive feeds to Miguel from their phone*

Miguel: *Watching intently* *Secretly impressed by their performance and gets surprised by the killing spree*

Arachnis: Ah fuck. Sorry. I forgot those parts. Some guards spotted me and I had to fight back.

《🕷️》

Arachnis: Wait. Say that again? You called everything about multiple universes with their variants of Spider-people, the “Arachnohumanoid Polymultiverse”?

Miguel: It’s an accurate description.

Arachnis: It sounds stupid. Cute, but stupid.

Miguel: How would you rename it?

Arachnis: The Spiderverse sounds like a better fit.

《🕷️》

Peter B. Parker: Has anyone seen Mayday?

Miles: *Nods* We haven’t seen her.

Gwen: Oh god. Let’s go find her.

[The Spider gang search everywhere in the building. Through the food court, to every sector, to the Go-Home area and even the darkest corners of the society.]

Hobie: *Spots a bundle of webbing by Sector 2* Found ‘em.

[Peter lifts off the flap that is attached to the funnel web and he finds a surprise inside.]

Arachnis: *Quietly napping with Mayday on their chest in the funnel-shaped web hammock*

Peter B. Parker: Awww. *Pulls out his phone and snaps some images*

Arachnis: *Wakes up drowsy and yawns* Huh? Peter?

Mayday: *Also wakes up and yawns* *Adorably rubs her eyes*

Peter B. Parker: Morning, sleepyheads.

Arachnis: *Takes out their mouth guards* Bleh.

Peter B. Parker: Huh. I didn’t know you wear retainers.

Arachnis: No, these are mouth guards. I can’t retract my fangs and don’t want to hurt Mayday.

Miles: When did you have time to make this?

Arachnis: Just an hour ago. It’s pretty easy when your role is Sentinel on missions.

《🕷️》

Arachnis: *Babysitting Mayday again* “Spider-Mayday! Spider-Mayday! Does whatever a spider can do! She can swing, from her web!”

Mayday: *Giggling while Arachnis lifts her around the air*

Miguel: *Watches the two playing around through his monitors*

Lyla: *Over his shoulder* Stalker, much?

Miguel: What? No. They’re still a possibility that they can be dangerous.

Arachnis: Look, Mayday. Check this out, *Creates a Web Barrier* Can you do that?

Mayday: *Manage to trap Arachnis in her webs* *Cheers happily*

Arachnis: *Wrapped up like a burrito* Somebody help me.

Lyla: Uh-huh, yeah. They seem dangerous.

《🕷️》

[Earth 2020-6-2, Valorant H.Q.]

Arachnis: *Contacting with the others through their watch* Sorry, Miguel. Things are tense at the VP now and I’m not sure how long it will take for the mess to settle down. There are major updates about Kingdom and something triggered my friend’s buddies from the revelations.

Gekko: *In the background trying to calm Thrash down with Wingman*

Miguel: Understandable. You do what you need to do. Just…

Arachnis: What?

Miguel: Just don’t get in trouble and do not fail your duties.

Arachnis: I know, you grump. You don’t have to remind me. Maybe when things get better, I’ll be back in the Society. Don’t miss me too much, big guy.

Miguel: I won’t miss you.

Arachnis: I know you will. Tell the others I’ll be gone for some time and be back soon. *Ends call*

[Back on Earth 928]

Lyla: You’re worried about them.

Miguel: No, I don’t.

Lyla: C’mon, admit it. I read the vitals and they don’t lie. You’re more than worried for their safety.

Miguel: Lyla, just stop. I understand they need to do their job. Just like everyone else.

Lyla: Not everyone faces their own double everyday to prevent a worldly disaster while avoiding hundreds of bullets.

Miguel: *Sighs* “Shock. I do worry for them.”

🕷️[Reblogs helps creators and creates for more content]🕸️

[Tagged]: @hhurric4ne @radianights @l0serloki @theladyheroine @mrssabinecallas

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starlight-strider · 2 months

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Deltarune: Sunlight and Candlesticks Intro Post

The Candlesticks has nothing to do with that other fan project

Have you ever made an AU and then it got canceled but you didn’t wanna lose some of the good stuff from it? No? Just me? Oh well

Deltarune: Sunlight and Candlesticks (or SLaCS for short) is a minor character swap + future chapter expansion AU that has a very changed story from what the base game seems to have

The Knight is being tricked into opening fountains by the sinister Doctor Gaster, who wants to use the power of the Angel to create a new reality. While they go about opening up Dark Fountains, tensions have never been lower in Hometown

It’s almost time for the midsummer festival, and everyone is preparing. Not knowing of the Knight, everyone is setting up for the festival in one weeks time, which is also when Gaster plans to create a new world. But unbeknownst to him, his original plan of the Knight being a vessel had other side effects. After he attempted and failed to use a purple Perseverance SOUL to power a vessel he made to be the Knight, the SOUL was discarded into Hometown, where it found a host in the most withdrawn member of the small town…

December Holiday, the least jolly person in all of Hometown. She was never the same after the disappearance of her younger sister Noelle. She became more withdrawn, and her parents more overprotective of her. She mostly stays inside Holiday manor playing video games or making comics to post online (about said video games, of course). While feeling really down one day, the SOUL crept into her room, and she was possessed by this otherworldly entity. The SOUL was just as freaked out as her. Now being controlled by something beyond the mortal plain, Dess has to take up the role of the hero to stop the Knight. But she won’t be able to do it alone

Berdly, the town bully, is someone Dess has never talked to. Sure, she’s the same age as him and should be going to school, but she’s been shut inside since Noelle’s disappearance and homeschooled. But when a now possessed Dess shambled out, Berdly was one of the first people she saw. Despite Dess not being in control, she doesn’t hate him, even if he is a bit of a jerk. Berdly is rude and snappy at best, and downright terrifyingly cryptically violent at worst. Underneath all that he does have a softer side, he just doesn’t like to show it

Chara is the only human in Hometown- at least at the moment, anyway. They’re a kind and sweet kid, who loves gardening. They always have some kind of plant with them or a flower stuck in their hair. Chara is always willing to help and be friends with someone, and is super supportive. They’re also pretty smart (especially when it comes to plants). Chara has never met Dess before as they moved into Hometown only a few years ago after being adopted by single dad Asgore, who is the perfect fit for their dad. Chara is slightly emotionally unstable, and unable to control more violent or depressive outbursts they occasionally have that make them act irrationally

Asriel is a total nerd and even he knows it. The game loving, book connoisseur younger brother of the studious and town-beloved Kris. Asriel was born after his older sibling was adopted, and a few years after he was, his parents divorced, leaving Kris to be his main caretaker. Asriel loves video games even more than Dess, and his half of his shared room with Kris is basically a library. He claims to be smarter than Chara, which probably isn’t true. He’s a bit of a show off and egotistical, but deep down he’s a good kid just trying to hide his insecurities. Dess knows Asriel well, because they were friends before Noelle’s disappearance. After she vanished, the Holidays and the Dreemurrs spilt apart, and Dess hadn’t seen him since

So Dess, Berdly, Chara, and Asriel aren’t fated to save the world- but do so because of dumb luck of a SOUL-driven Dess finding the Dark World in the school storage closet. There, she and Berdly meet Ralsei, a young prince who lives in a kingdom with no subjects. He doesn’t join the heroes on their quest, having to remain at the main fountain, but gives them advice and asks for them to bring him some friends if they make any. Over the next week, the four Lightner heroes journey from Dark World to Dark World, making friends and sealing fountains and becoming closer with each other

Tada! Surprise Deltarune AU! Pretty happy with this honestly. Planning on drawing some stuff for it and making some more posts about the characters and stuff (and the 3rd-7th chapters), but that’ll be later

And of course, I’ll get into the Dark World stuff then too

#renu’s aus #deltarune: sunlight and candlesticks #deltarune: slacs #slacs dess #slacs berdly #slacs chara #slacs asriel #ok yeah that’s all i’m gonna tag

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adverbian · 2 years

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Here is my Our Flag Means Death-themed listen to Fleetwood Mac’s 1977 album “Rumours” (aka the greatest breakup album of all time).

If you aren’t already familiar with “Rumours,” it’s the album that “The Chain” comes from. It was famously written and recorded during a period when most of the band members were going through divorces or major breakups, mostly with each other. So most of the songs are about breaking up or being broken up with, being sad or angry, moving on or not moving on, or finding new love. And they’re all freaking incredible. Every song is a total banger (except for “Oh Daddy,” but we’ll get to that).

And all of them remind me of the gay pirates. Because of the brainrot.

Here is the track listing, which of the OFMD characters I imagine is narrating each one, and when they are narrating it.

1. “Second Hand News”: I think Mary is singing this to Stede circa “Discomfort in a Married State,” don’t you? “One thing I think you should know / I ain’t gonna miss you when you go.”

And the crew of the Revenge pops in to sing the chorus, suggestively: “When times go bad, when times go rough, won’t you lay me down in the tall grass and let me do my stuff.”

2. “Dreams”: Narrated by Stede when Ed (temporarily) leaves him for Calico Jack. “It’s only me who wants to wrap around your dreams, and have you any dreams you’d like to sell?”

3. “Never Going Back Again”: This is Stede’s internal monologue when we first meet him. “You don’t know what it means to win. Come round and see me again. Been down one time, been down two times… never going back again.”

4. “Don’t Stop”: Stede to Ed, in the future when they hopefully reunite. “All I want is to see you smile, if it takes just a little while. I know you don’t believe that it’s true -- I never meant any harm to you.”

5. “Go Your Own Way”: Ed to Stede, after he doesn’t show at the dock. “Tell me why everything turned around? … If I could, baby, I’d give you my world. How can I when you won’t take it from me?”

6. “Songbird”: Ed to Stede, during the kiss scene. “For you, there’ll be no more crying. For you, the sun will be shining. And I feel that when I’m with you, it’s all right -- I know it’s right. … And the songbirds keep singing like they know the score / And I love you, I love you, I love you, like never before.”

7. “The Chain”: I mean okay, perfect scene in S1E8 is already perfect. But the music video playing in my head is an ensemble number set during S1E10 in which everybody is heartbroken and furious at everyone else. Ed and Stede at each other, Mary and Stede at each other (before they talk it out), Izzy and Ed at each other, the crew at Blackbeard and he at them…

8. “You Make Loving Fun”: Ed to Stede during their courtship, circa “You wear fine things well.” “I never did believe in miracles, but I’ve a feeling it’s time to try. I never did believe in the ways of magic, but I’m beginning to wonder why.”

9. “I Don’t Want to Know”: Blackbeard to Stede, post-eye-makeup. “Finally, baby, the truth has been told. You tell me that I’m crazy; it’s nothing that I didn’t know. Trying to survive -- you say you love me but you don’t know.”

10. “Oh Daddy”: The track I always try to pretend is not on an otherwise perfect album, because it feels so gross and toxic! I think that means it’s Izzy Hands to Blackbeard while getting his toe fed to him! “Why are you right when I’m so wrong? I’m so weak but you’re so strong.” [vaguely threatening backing vocals: “so stro-ong!”]

11. “Gold Dust Woman”: 1000% Izzy Hands to Blackbeard at the end of S1E10, regarding Stede. “Did she make you cry, make you break down, shatter your illusions of love? And is it over now, do you know how to pick up the pieces and go home?” [devolves into shadows, spiders and dragons; cursèd wailing; sounds of shattering glass]

12. BONUS (originally intended for the album but got cut): “Silver Springs”: The first part is clearly a heartbroken Ed to Stede. “You could be my silver spring, blue-green colors flashing. I would be your only dream, your shining autumn ocean crashing… So I begin not to love you / Turn around, see me running.”

The outro — I think Ed and Stede are trading lines.

Ed: “Time cast a spell on you, but you won’t forget me. I know that I could have loved you but you would not let me. “

Stede: “I’ll follow you down till the sound of my voice will haunt you. You’ll never get away from the sound of the woman that loved you.”

Then they swap the lines in the repeats, while Ed flees across oceans and Stede pursues him.

[I originally wrote this in May 2022 just after binging OFMD twice. I also posted a version of it on the Our Flag Means Death subreddit.]

#our flag means death #ofmd #stede bonnet #edward teach #izzy hands #mary bonnet #blackbeard #blackbonnet #fleetwood mac #rumours

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www-artforoddballs · 3 years

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MC! interacting with the brothers respective animals (they're dating the bro in each scenario)

Lucifer

Okay so this man has peacocks

Peacocks are not commonly found in most countries, other than at the zoo

They're native to India

So unless you're in or from India

You either run into one because (A) he sent one to you or (B) you're at a zoo

For this, he sent one

You hear a weird noise while in your bed at your human world house and you're like "??????"

So you go to invesitage

And you open your bedroom door and there's just a friggin PEACOCK standing outside of your bedroom door

EDIT: People from Florida have commented and mentioned that Peacocks live in Florida. They're an invasive species there, I wasn't aware of this until after I posted...regardless, it would be weird to wake up with a random peacock outside your bedroom door in your locked house.

At first since you were just barely waking up uou're even more confused and consider calling animal control

Until you realize that you're dating Lucifer

So you just kinda look at the bird and are like "what do you want. What does he want."

And the bird just like

Bites your sleeve and drags you downstairs because you just woke up and need to eat

So you eat and the bird doesn't leave....and you realize that you now have a monitor peacock that's gonna make sure you're taking care of yourself since Luci cannot

Greeattt

Mammon

OK so crows are the most common of all the animals here to find just

Derping around willy-nilly

So one day a crow just steals a fry from you or something and you start yelling at the poor bird

And later Mammon just texts you like

Why are you being mean to me 😭

And you're so confused until he sends you a picture of a very sad crow

And you just facepalm and are like "Baby, the crow stole my food. I wasn't mad at you."

And then a short while later Satan sends you a video of Mammon scolding the crow, who is pouting like a child 😂

Levi

Now Snakes aren't for everyone but I personally love them

For this though, I'll say the reader is fairly neutral

But most sane people, even if they love snakes, wouldn't want one climbing out of their bathtub

And that's what happened

So after you're done having a heart attack, you scoop the little guy up in your arms, because it is a little snake. Not like tiny, but....small.

You get a large bowl or something and fill it with water, the snake just goes in and begins swimming around

Even though snakes aren't your favorite, you've been missing Levi, so this brightens your day up a bit.

Satan

I...Unicorns cannot be common, right?

Right???

Right.

So when, one day, you go outside and see a freaking unicorn in your front yard, you're very confused but quickly bring it inside

Because

Black market

You just observe the unicorn and are like

"Why are you here, how am I gonna keep you safe"

And then you notice it has on a sort of collar with a note attached

And you read it, and it's a love letter from Satan

Which is very sweet

But...SIR I CAN'T TAKE CARE OF A UNICORN IT'S GONNA DIE ARE YOU NUTS

So you text him

He comes to pick up the unicorn and bring it to the Devildom with him shortly. 😅

Asmodeus

I despise scorpions...any kind of bug or crustaceans is just awful to me. But again, neutral perspective.

When scorpions start acting friendly and genuinely affectionate, you KNOW you're having a weird day.

Long story short; picnic with friends, scorpions showed up and began picking up food to bring to you.

Everyone is confused

Until you remember who your boyfriend is, and video call him.

"Darling~! Hel-"

"Asmodeus get these things away from the food."

"What are you talking abo...oooh. Wait, why? They were a present...!"

"They're scaring my friends, and while this is a nice gesture, it's also freaking me out as well. They're acting like servants."

This back and forth goes on for a while until you threaten to squish them

Yyyeah Asmo calls them off after that.

Beelzebub

Again, I hate bugs and crustaceans

So neutral reader

You'd only really started tolerating flies because of your boyfriend

But this wasn't okay

You were at a friends' party and a ton of flies had shown up and started eating all the food EXCEPT for yours.

So you knew something was up.

You called Beel; he explained that he'd asked the flies to make sure that you had a good time, but that they must've been hungry and got distracted

This

This didn't happen again

Belphegor

You and your family were visiting a petting zoo

You'd told Belphie this was happening

Everything seemed fine

Until you'd argued with your parents earlier in the day and told your boyfriend about it to vent

When you got to the cow section

It was already too late

Your parents began getting chased around by the cows, to which you laughed and laughed until the cows eventually got tired and stopped.

Belphie definitely got a very prominent "thank you" later on~

Thanks to @absolutepokemontrash for the inspiration for this post!

#obey me #obey me leviathan #obey me headcanons #obey me lucifer #obey me belphie #obey me mammon #obey me satan #obey me asmo #obey me beel #neurodivergent #familiars #obey me familiars #obey me animals

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astaroth1357 · 3 years

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Demigod MC Series: Hestia

This is another eternally virgin goddess, so we're doing another pseudo-demigod by adoption (like we did with Athena).

Demigod MC: Intro, Aphrodite, Hermes, Hades, Dionysus, Demeter, Athena, Hades Pt. 2, Poseidon, Ares, Hestia

Hestia is the goddess of the Hearth, Home, Architecture, Domesticity, Family, and the State. She's high up there (firstborn of Rhea and Cronus), but several factors have led to her falling into the background when compared to the other (flashier) Olympians. She swore to never marry, rejecting proposals from both Poseidon and Apollo, and is something of an antithesis to Aphrodite.

Lucifer

Honestly? He thought they were exactly what they were after. A weak human with no experience in the magical world what-so-ever.

Well… He was half-right.

On the surface, this is a pretty weak human. They don't have super flashy powers or a divine birth from the gods… but they do have a very protective adoptive mother.

The brothers had just settled in for their first dinner with the new human when the goddess herself strolled into their dining room, asked who was in charge, then dragged Lucifer away by the ear!

She's not even his mother, yet he felt the intense urge to apologize and put himself in his own room… Oh, the humiliation… at least she did the same to Diavolo…

The Prince was only able to calm her down by promising absolutely NO harm would come to her child… on their heads...

By the time the goddess finally let him go, Lucifer was about ready to shackle the MC to his wrist so nothing could touch them but he settled on keeping them with him like an assistant of sorts. They were in charge of helping him with the paperwork so he could keep an eye on them.

What he didn’t expect was for them to be so… good at it? They could keep his offices clean, they managed his daily schedule, fixed up the House, and still have time to bring him tea and sweets every night!

They could even reign in his brothers somehow… They weren't strong or intimidating, but one or two mildly unhappy words out of them and everybody would be on their best behavior.

Was everyone positive they're only human...?

As much as he hated to admit, he may have a slight deep case of falling for the housekeeper… He would make a move, but well…

He has Beel to contend with first.

Mammon

Okay so, watching Lucifer get dragged out by the ear just like Raphael used to do to him was hilarious!!! The whole room got a good laugh! 🤣

Until Hestia glared at them and suddenly they all felt like they'd disappointed someone important….

And all that fuss over some dumb human??

So what if they made amazing food?

So what if they could clean the entire mansion in a day?

So what if they were the walking equivalent to a warm cup of cocoa on a winter's day??

So what if they were just the kindest, sweetest thing in this godforsaken hellscape and he would throw himself in front of a bus to keep them safe-

-Wait, when did that happen?!?

Seriously, Mammon's attachment to the MC came out of NOWHERE to him. One day, he was threatening to eat their soul and the next he's freaking out when they stub their toe!

He swears they have to have some kind of magic about them! A charm, or a spell, or… their lovable smile and warm, loving hugs...! 😊

Damnit!! They're too cute!! He needs them to go away but also never leave, thanks. 😒

In all seriousness, though their kind nature puts Mammon's tsundere self at a bit of a disadvantage, his protective instincts shoot through the roof whenever they're involved.

Naturally, that means his day is spent running them away from hungry lesser demons or shielding them from Beel and Lucifer's tug-of-war matches… He's a busy guy these days. 😖

Leviathan

They're so… so… MOE!!!

That was his immediate thought when Mammon brought them home. He was expecting a defenseless human, but not one that could have stepped out of one of his slice-of-life manga!

To be honest, his instant thought was try and find a place to sit them on his shelves with the rest of the adorable characters he loves… 😅

And that was before they even opened their mouth! Five words into their introduction and he was ready to get their face on a t-shirt!!

Honestly, combine their natural cuteness with their household skills and they made for perfect waifu/husbando material…

Not helped by the fact they found one of his maid/butler outfits while doing the laundry one day. Not only did they ask if they could wear it, they actually non-ironically liked it and started wearing it around the House!!

Oh he got cornered by Beel, Lucifer, and Mammon separately that day because they thought he was using them for fetish fuel… But it was their idea, he swears!!

I mean… He didn't discourage them or anything either but still…

If Beel hadn't claimed them on Day One, Levi might have eventually thrown his hat in the ring too... Oh well… he can pine from a distance… What else is new? 😔

Satan

He has a video of Hestia dragging Lucifer out of the dining room on his phone and it's one of his most treasured possessions now. 😌

He is perhaps the only person in the House who was not at all impressed with their little human.

So they could cook? So could he. So they can clean? That's not impressive. They could manage a household? Big deal, he's more or less been in charge of the same thing for centuries!

As far as he saw it, there was nothing the MC could do that he couldn't do as proficiently or even better. There was nothing remarkable about this human at all!

… except for one thing.

That maid/butler outfit of Levi's? The one they like to wear around?

It has cat accessories…

Either they don't notice or they don't mind it but they essentially walk around the House cleaning things with little kitty ears attached to their head and a bell on their collar…

Dammit… Why did Levi even buy that?!?

Satan ended up getting in trouble for enchanting their outfit to give them REAL ears and a tail "accidentally..." Lucifer strung him up by his toes, Beel gave him a black-eye, and Mammon still calls him a "perverted cat freak" but it was worth it, he says, worth it!!

Asmodeus

Oh Beel…

Asmo saw Beel's feelings for the MC coming from a mile away. He didn't even need to confirm it with a sniff check, he had them scented by the end of their first night!

Lucifer, on the other hand, now that was a surprise... 😏

Ask him a century ago if Lucifer would ever consider a human lover, godly mother or no, and he'd have laughed! Yet here he is, giving gifts and sneaking whiffs of their adorable new housemate!

Of course, that's causing some commotion because they're pitted against each other, but Asmo finds it kind of cute honestly.

Beel and Lucifer aren't fighting, not for real. The whole house knows Lucifer would win in a real brawl, but neither of them actually want to hurt the other… They're far too close for that.

So Beel tosses Lucifer around with kid gloves and Lucifer holds back considerably against Beel. It's pretty much just two brothers who love each other squabbling over the same toy… 🤭

Honestly, Lucifer might have bowed out by now and just let Beel have them but now his pride's on the line… thus an endless tussle between family and the sweet MC is in the middle, clueless to it all!

Tragic, is it not? But it certainly makes things more entertaining around here! (Good thing too since Beel beat him to the punch… If it's a fight against those two, he'll have to keep any of his own affairs with the MC under the radar... 😏)

Beelzebub

He has claimed this one. Full stop.

For a bit of perspective: when Barbatos needs cooking tips, he calls Hestia. Hestia, the Divine Master of All Things Cooking. Hestia, the goddess who raised this MC…

Needless to say if they have any magic at all, it's in the kitchen.

If food is the way to Beel's heart, this MC has claimed his heart, soul, and probably all of his vital organs. Their food is astounding!! Always perfect every time and so good it brings him to tears!

It started the night of that first dinner, prepared by MC. He was too busy scarfing down the table to even notice a goddess showed up and then he proposed to the MC with their own pig roast by meal's end!

They said no to marriage, but an instant pact agreement suited him just fine.

Beel didn't waste a single moment before he started treating them like a potential mate, territorial aggression and all, but there was a bit of a catch… He kept the MC totally oblivious to it.

Surprisingly, Beel's can turn the "They're MINE" part of his brain on and off pretty well. He's nothing but sweet and cuddly to the MC when they're around and even with his brothers!... as long as they don't try anything.

The moment he caught whiff that Lucifer might be pursuing them too, it was on. Suddenly the two brothers who almost never fight were in competition against each other! But of course, both have an unspoken rule to never do so in front of MC.

And now poor MC believes it's common for demons to "play wrestle" like puppies and hugs are traditionally supposed to be so hard they could snap spines…

And it doesn’t look like they'll be backing down any time soon… Oh dear...

Belphegor

You know what? For once, everything goes exactly to plan for Belphie!

No really, this MC has no hidden powers, no magic horses, not even Demon Nip. They are a helpless, trusting little human who just wants to help their big teddy bear get his twin back!

So, you know how it goes. The charm, the lies, the treachery and all of that. He even gets to kill them!! Oh, happy days!! 😁

Come to think of it, they did smell an awful lot like Beel… But who cares, as long as Lucifer suffers right?? And this whole "living together in harmony" crap fails, right?!

Wrong.

Beel went ballistic. Lucifer did too, but Beel was what really hurt…

Belphie can safely say that in all of his life, Beel has never physically attacked him. Not once, or at least, not with intent to kill…

But when the sixthborn's fist went crashing through the wall right by his ear that day, he knew his brother's first instinct was to aim for his head… and his second was to miss, as he still loved him, but only by just a little.

What the hell did he just do??

Thank their father for Barbatos and all the funky time stuff he can do because bringing the MC "back" snapped his angry brothers right out of it.

Things should have been smoothed over at that point but as everyone was finally settling down for tea, Hestia made another appearance in the House… this time carrying a butcher's knife!

Time fix or no, Diavolo had promised her no harm would come to MC and at least one continuity of them DIED… so punishment was now on Lucifer and the Demon Prince himself!

Belphie, in a rare case of guilt and an expression of brotherly love, offered to take their place since it WAS kind of all his fault. His gesture softened the Goddess of Family juuust enough to lighten his sentence from execution to hard labor.

And thus, the MC had their own housekeeping assistant for a whole year, complete with bitter reluctance and a matching maid outfit! Cat-theme and all!!

He's sending nightmares to anybody who laughs… guaranteed. 😒

#obey me #obey me shall we date #shall-we-date-obey-me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me headcanons #obey me demigods

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lexosaurus · 3 years

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Going Angst Week 2021: Birth

I wrote a short five part fic for this year’s Going Angst Week! Fair warning as the event suggests, no one in this fic will make it out on top.

Chapter One: Birth

---

“Don’t think of it as a death, think of it as a sort of rebirth.”

That’s what Vlad had told him anyhow, after he discovered who—or rather what—Danny was at their college reunion.

“Who were you before this? A nobody, right? Just some little hormonal fourteen year old from the weirdo family, unpopular and bullied. No real hobbies or activities to speak of, aside from…” Vlad’s red eyes pierced down at him. “Video games, am I correct?”

Danny diverted his gaze to the floor. Vlad’s aura only increased in amusement.

“But now,” the ghost continued. “Now you’re something else. Something different, more powerful. The world is your oyster, and all you have to do is reach down and take it.”

“I don’t know,” Danny finally spoke up. He had been hoping that speaking to the older halfa would begin to patch things up between them, but so far every word out of Vlad’s mouth seemed coated in poison.

He knew that deep down he shouldn’t trust a damn word Plasmius said, but Vlad was the only person in the world who he could relate to. And according to the Vlad, there was no one else like them in the Ghost Zone either.

“What is there to be afraid of, Little Badger? You’re a half ghost, you can do whatever it is that you want and nobody, nobody can stop you.”

“It’s not that I’m afraid.” Lies, lies, all lies. “It just doesn’t seem right, is all.”

Plasmius leaned down, forcing Danny’s eyes to meet his. He grinned, bearing his fangs at the boy, as if he could see through all the fear that Danny was desperate to mask.

“Oh Daniel,” Vlad said. “Your parents will never accept you. No good you do in your ghost form could ever convince them that ghosts aren’t all evil, that some are good, that you are good. Don’t you see?”

“No, you’re wrong. My parents will accept me. I just have to—”

“Oh, will they?” Vlad laughed. “Your parents? The same ones who’ve dedicated their careers, their lives to developing ecto-weaponry meant to kill our kind? The people who have written countless academic papers as to the dangers of ecto-life on Earth?”

“If I can show them that we’re not all bad, then maybe they’ll see.”

“Ah, so I bet that explains why you haven’t told them about what really happened in the lab, right? You just wanted to wait for the ‘right time’ to tell them. Foolish boy, don’t you know?” Vlad’s cocky tone died down, as did the power of his aura. In the first moment of sincerity Danny had witnessed from the older man, he turned to Danny and warned, “Your parents are too blinded by their ignorance to ever see the truth.”

---

Danny had been alone the day of the accident. He wasn’t sure why he did it, why he strapped on the hazmat suit (not before ripping off the Jack sticker), why he stepped in the portal, why he tried to figure out how to turn it on. Was it boredom? Teenage rebellion? Curiosity?

But delving into his reasoning was too little too late. Because the moment he tripped over the wire and hit the misplaced power switch, his life ended.

Literally.

Dying hurt. It was terrifying, waking up as something else entirely, and passing out all over again.

At first, he could almost pretend that he was okay. But then he woke up the next morning and felt like he’d been hit by a truck.

And then he fell through his bed, hitting the wood floor below his bed frame.

And then he dragged himself out and saw the extensive scarring on his arm.

And then he knew. That what had happened in the lab wasn’t just a fluke, that whatever the portal did had changed him forever.

That he wasn’t okay.

Still, he tried to carry on as normal. Eventually, the lightning scars snaking across his arm faded (even though they remained when he transformed), and the aching of his muscles subsided (but the coolness in his chest never went away), and his relative anonymity at his school meant that people hardly noticed a change in him (even though his two best friends seemed to hover more now than before).

Everything was going to be normal. Even if he wasn’t okay anymore. Even if he wasn’t human, even if he was...some monster.

What even was he?

“Danny?” Sam poked his shoulder. “Hey, space case? You haven’t touched your food. Are you okay?”

The world snapped into focus, and he realized that he was in the cafeteria at school with his untouched lunch tray splayed out in front of him. He couldn’t even remember getting out of bed this morning, much less making it all the way till lunch.

Regardless, he picked the cardboard excuse for pizza from his tray and took a bite, chewing slowly, and tried not to choke as he forced the food down his parched throat.

“I’m fine,” he said.

He’d been saying that a lot lately.

“We’ve been trying not to pry, but…” Sam looked helplessly at Tucker. “Danny, is...is something going on with you? You’ve just seemed off lately.”

“No, nothing happened. I’m fine.”

“You sure dude?” Tucker asked.

Danny set his school-issued pizza back down on his tray. “Guys, seriously. I’m your best friend. If anything happened, I promise you’d be the first to know. I’ve just been stressed about school, it’s nothing.”

Sam and Tucker exchanged a glance, evidently not looking too convinced. Regardless, Sam gave him her best fake smile and a, “If you say so. Just know we’re here if you wanna talk.”

But he didn’t want to talk. They were human, he...wasn’t. They wouldn’t get it. They’d think he was a freak, they’d stop talking to him, they’d tell Jazz who would tell his parents who would kill him trying to save him.

No one could help him.

They finished lunch in silence, and then it was back to class where Danny managed to fall out of his chair twice and drop his pencil too many times to count. In biology class a glass microscope plate flew past his fingers, shattering against the tiled floor, and in English class when Lancer handed him papers to pass out he dropped those too, sending them scattered along the ground.

He saw the way Lancer peered at him as he stumbled to the ground, hands shaking as he desperately tried to grab the papers while everyone laughed at him. He felt cold—he was always cold since the accident—and he was sure that he looked just as much of a mess as he felt.

Mr. Lancer sent him down to the nurses office after that.

But he couldn’t go to the nurse because his heart rate was slower than a human’s and he didn’t need to breathe as much and he was so cold.

And he was fine.

So he took the hall pass and hid in the bathroom for the rest of the class period.

“Think of it as a rebirth,” Vlad had told him.

Except Vlad was wrong. Danny wasn’t stronger now, he wasn’t more powerful. In fact, Danny Fenton had never felt more powerless, lost, and alone in his entire life.

If this was the start of a new life, then he was terrified to see what would follow.

---

next chapter>

#danny phantom #going angst week 2021 #birth #the life cycle of a half ghost #phicc #my writing

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lasquadrasfuckhouse · 3 years

Note

Hi!

What do you think about la squadra(separately) with s/o that is very childlish? Like, not a little child ofc, they can get serius when it has to be, and they talk ,like, normally (without "owo uwu" shit). They just loooove some cute things, animals etc. They also love watching cartoons, play games, and many other things likke that.

If you don't want to write it that's okay :)))

Bye bye <3

awwww i love it!!!!!

la squadra with a cutesy and playful partner 😚

risotto ✂️

he loves cute things too, he gets it. he adores how excitable and sweet you are and you absolutely count as cute things that he loves

the two of you will fawn over the neighbourhood cats together and every time you run into his office with fun shaped snacks to share cause u both love them (like gummies or cookies or chocolates) his heart goes ❤️❤️❤️❤️💕❤️💕❤️❤️💕💕💕

he appreciates that you're not afraid to get serious when the time calls for it too but seeing you without your normal attitude is so jarring and sad for him, he'll work twice as hard to fix what's wrong to see you smiling again. you're so full of love and wonder despite everything and that's so precious to him, he's protective (he knows and respects that you can handle yourself he just loves u) and would never want you to change for the wrong reasons ya kno

you absolutely balance each other out very well and you're fucking adorable to see because he's so stoic and scary and then ur this energetic sweetheart

he's not really one for cartoons or video games but he'll indulge ur interests!!! if he has the time to watch a cute movie with u (like disney) he will pay attention and give u his honest opinion

prosciutto 🚬

OPPOSITES ATTRACT HUH

honestly when you first joined the team he was an ass about it, thought it was unbecoming of an assassin to behave so childishly (the others already give him a headache) but the fact that you stood your ground actually really impressed him. you're still an adult and you're not unreasonable, you know when to take things seriously, you just have your eccentricities like everyone else in this circus and he came to appreciate your point of view and your seemingly boundless enthusiasm for nice things in life. he later expressed as much to you during his apology for being an ass.

you temper each other. he'll be your grounding force and you'll help him loosen up

he does like how ur sweet and open with your affection. if he grumbles about sharing the bed with plushies that's code for 'cuddle me instead'

he also loves bringing you to cafés that do those fancy or fun shapes in the lattes cause he loves to see your eyes light up and fawn over how 'its almost too pretty to drink!!!' it's really quite adorable how excitable u are and prosciutto is not immune to it

pesci 🎣

he very very much loves and appreciates it, you're a big comfort to him. the instant you chugged milk with him and gave him a silly grin with a milk moustache, he was in love

your sweetness and energy picks him up and when you've dropped your attitude he will take on the WHOLE WORLD to hear you laugh again. he's very protective and he's the first to jump to your defense if the others tease you or otherwise give you a hard time

he could listen to you gush for hours. he will absolutely sit and watch cartoons with u. he's not the greatest at video games but he'll try his best for u

because of his name you'll often lovingly make that cute fishy face at him with the kissy lips and ur eyes crossed and his heart explodes every time

he has somewhat of a sweet tooth, he likes things that have a light sweetness to them rather than anything super sugary. you'll share desserts and it's very cute

formaggio 🧀

he LOVES IT. he's just as fun-loving, there's never a dull moment with you two whether you're playing a dumb game you made up out of boredom, you're dancing and he's twirling you around, or ur in a pillow/tickle fight and play wrestling. you tend to get each other into trouble but you both snicker about it. two peas in a pod.

cats like you more than they like him but he can often get his pets in if the kitty is curled in ur lap and u both get giddy about it

you definitely game together. he's not as into the cartoons but he'll still watch em with you, he thinks they're cute and you're cute, but he may fall asleep during movies

he's a very grounding support when things require you to be serious, you work together hand in hand to solve the issue so u can get back to laughing

and he will do anything to hear u giggle, doesn't matter if he makes a damn fool of himself, he doesn't care. as far as he's concerned your laugh is the best sound in the world

illuso ✨

oh, he will tease you about it. probably in a way that's kind of mean when you first join, but you aren't bothered by him or concerned with his opinion. if you point out that he's the childish one for trying to get a rise out of you when you're just minding your own business, that has EVERYONE appreciating you because it's unbearably fun to see illuso taken down a notch. that has him huffing and retreating for a bit and having a think. when he comes back, he's less of an ass. as you grow closer, he apologizes.

now the only way he teases is gentle and loving and fond, because you really are quite adorable and he wouldn't have it any other way. it honestly kind of freaks him out when you get serious but he doesn't show it, he'll just place a gentle hand on your arm or your waist and work with you to resolve the issue. he's relieved when you smile again

he warms up to your plushies because they're nice cozy additions to his piles of pillows for lounging around on and they make u happy

he may keep up his aloof air when he picks up a controller with u or watches over ur shoulder like he has nothing better to do but he gets REALLY into it and competitive, or intensely supportive and backseat gaming if ur going solo

he honestly loves how sweet u are because that sort of thing doesn't really come easy to him

melone 🍈

he thinks ur absolutely adorable and makes sure u know it. he's playful too in a more relaxed sort of way so he mellows you out while still having fun

he loves to hear you gush and wants to get involved in ur passions. he's pretty good at gaming but he'll get more into admiring/analyzing the design aspect of it and same w/ cartoons, he's concerned for all the babies out there because they deserve good stories that make them think and benefit their growth and he will think out loud about how a show/movie fares in that regard after you've watched it together

he can talk a lot about animals with u too!!!! every time u grin or coo at a cute creature or Stay Very Still so a butterfly will land on u and giggle cause it tickles, his heart is doing backflips and he can't believe someone as wonderful as u exists and loves him as much as he loves you

ADULT COLOURING BOOKS!!!!! he absolutely loves to fill in the pages with u and add onto the designs outside the lines in all sorts of colours

he admires that ur not afraid to get serious when it's called for but still so sweet, he's so drawn to you and you make everyone's day better and just light up the room

ghiaccio ❄️

he also loves cute things. that includes u. but it will take him a while to admit out loud how adorable you are because he's flustered about it

forget normie relationship milestones like moving in together, the moment u both started slowly familiarizing your plushie collections to each other, swapping or gifting ones u saw and HAD to get for them or keeping two of them together because they're friends now Do Not Seperate!!!!, he knew this was Real

one of his favorite pastimes is sharing a big big cozy sweater with u, it doesn't matter if it's a bit tight with two people in it or that ur faces are squished together, he'll wrap his arms around u (if u haven't already put ur hands in the sleeves too) and cuddle u against him like a fluffy, snuggly, grumpy cat. welcome to sweater town, population u and ghiaccio

ur both very into pokemon too. you'll spend hours with ur heads bent together over ur gameboys with each other's companion games for that generation and help each other with trading and version exclusives

he's the first to yell at anyone for teasing you and he honestly gets a little freaked out when you go serious but he won't show it. he'll want to address the problem as quickly as possible tho and discreetly hug u when ur giggling again

sorbet and gelato 🔪🍦

THEY LOVE IT UR ADORABLE. they're both playful in their own ways (sorbet is more chill and dry wit sort of playful, gelato is no impulse control and hyena cackling sort of playful) and they love to have fun with u

it's also like.... the world is fucked up and they're both kinda fucked up (more than kinda), and they know you're not like an innocent baby or at all incompetent (hell, you may be kinda fucked up too, who isn't when ur an assassin) but it's just. nice to see someone else having fun and being sweet and enjoying things about life. so they are very protective of you when things get serious, they never EVER want to see you become embittered and will do absolutely anything to get you laughing again as soon as possible. which, guaranteed, they do

gelato has always had a short attention span so he knows what to do for entertainment and sorbet knows how to entertain, he may be the more patient one but they both like to mix things up and keep the surroundings interesting. they will play all sorts of games with u, video games or card games or stupid shit like beer pong or making a game of how many marshmallows u can each fit in ur mouths. you'll all go for a nice walk in the park and nothing is more relaxing for sorbet than kickin back on a bench while his rowdy babes end up tussling in the dirt. be free

of course, u and gelato also drag him into the dirt and put flowers in his hair and he would want nothing less

they'll both squish ur cheeks and lovingly tease u about how cute u are. blow a raspberry at them and they'll give u a kiss

sorbet will throw u over his shoulder and carry u around (no matter ur body type, he's strong!!!) + gelato will smatter ur face in kisses, just to hear u squeal and giggle

#this was so cute thank u for the ask 🥺#alcohol mention -/#la squadra #la squadra x reader #risotto nero #prosciutto #pesci #formaggio #illuso #melone #ghiaccio #sorbet #gelato #vento aureo #ask

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parachutingkitten · 3 years

Text

Y'all suck at dissecting Kai's character, so I guess I have to do it.

And I'm not even a Kai stan. He's a bottom tier ninja for me, which I guess means you can trust me, cuz I'm not biased, but also why am I the one doing this? I don't know about y'all, but recently on my dash, the method by which Kai fans try to make him sound good is... saying the writers hate him, ignore him, and that he isn't written well? Which... I mean there is a little bit of truth to, but like yikes guys, is this the best you got? Kai is a wonderful character with plenty of attention from the writers, a meaningful piece of the cast when put in secondary rolls, fairly consistent character writing with actual progression and valuable qualities that help the team without having to be the smart one- despite what some posts might tell you.

Let's get one thing cleared up: Ninjago isn't the best written show. By high level Hollywood standards, most the character arcs are kinda weak or too heavy handed, character consistency can be iffy, and most things serve the plot rather than the characters. There is no character you can point to and say "wow, this character is written so well! No complaints!" Nya and Jay were butchered by their weird love plot, Cole's one season doesn't actually give him an arc, Zane's been nothing but the robot numbers guy for like 10 seasons now, and Lloyd seems to be incapable of doing anything but relive the same one piece of dad angst for depth. Sorry, it's true. All the characters suck when you look at it from a large scale writing perspective. So when I say Kai is well written, I mean by ninjago kids show standards- cuz that's the scale we're working on. No, you couldn't drop Kai into a well written drama, but as far as ninjago goes... he's got a lot going for him, and by no means is he the biggest victim of poor writing.

(fair warning, wall of text below)

The title is a bit disingenuous. There are plenty of good Kai character break downs. What I am presenting here is a more positive perspective. On the whole, I will tend to give the writers the benefit of the doubt, and credit for what they do right writing is hard guys. That's what I'm doing here. I don't see much sense in getting mad the writers on behalf of Kai, or any other character. Ninjago is a simplistic ensemble show that works because of the identifiable simplicity of its main characters with some deeper layers hidden underneath if you keep watching. They've given us a damn good show with some damn enjoyable characters, so here are some criticisms I feel are a little flawed:

First, let's get the 'focus' thing out of the way. Apparently there are people saying Kai doesn't have a season yet? Which... what? I mean, I get that the pilots aren't a full season, the first two seasons, though he is the central protagonist, aren't "Kai seasons" as we've come to define ninja focus seasons, season 7, though he gets majority focus, he shares with his sister. But like... did y'all just forget about season 4? You know, the season where he had the title card, was on the box sets, got the love interest, and the majority of the A-plot? not to mention it's the best season don't @ me Like... if season 4 isn't a Kai season, I can make a damn good argument that season 3 isn't a Zane season, and I doubt anyone wants to go down that rabbit hole. I really can't wrap my head around this one. And I get that the fandom hates season 11 for some reason, but like you can't just pretend it doesn't exist. Kai has a consistent arc across 30 episodes in which he takes his powers for granted, loses them, and learns that, not only does he have value within the team without them, but that his element is intrinsically a part of him that he reclaims, bringing them back more powerful than ever, and with new respect for them. That's one of the most solid arcs in the whole series- the location is even thematically connected to his element. That's some good stuff right there! (Quick plug for season 11 if you haven't watched it in a while. Give it a rewatch, you might be pleasantly surprised)

Not to mention the writers give him fun side stuff all the time. Lots of fears of tech and water to overcome, a deep protective streak with Lloyd, becoming a chancellor, having a true potential actually relevant to the plot as a whole, blacksmith responsibilities, befriending dragons, hanging out with his dad. Not to mention actual focus stuff we haven't talked about yet, like his whole "my dad is evil" phase, and his "I might be evil" phase with him and Skylor. And on top of that, even when he doesn't have an explicit side plot, he's always just a fun and dynamic side character to make jokes or give exposition.

Now, into character stuff. Let's start with Kai's hot headed-ness. Some people say he's been loosing this quality, and I will admit, that's true! But those that claim this makes him inconsistent... I strongly disagree. In early seasons, Kai's temper would lead him to snap at his friends or make stupid decisions that set the team back (see episode 2 Zane freak out)- these are bad things. These are character flaws, yes? Now, in newer seasons, people say that he's inconsistent, cuz sometimes he'll be hot headed, and sometimes he won't. I'd say, this is exactly how being hot headed... works? It flares up without warning, and as an individual gets control of it, it'll pop up less and less often because they're channeling it into productive things - like say directing the anger towards an enemy (see season 11 end freak out). Kai has gained control of a character flaw, and though it still pops up on occasion, the fact that it's a once in a while kind of thing speaks to his growth. I have a little brother who has this exact personality, and watching him grow up, I can tell you, this is how it is. He used to snap all the time, and he still does sometimes, but much less frequently, because he's a more mature person with better control of his emotions. This is a good thing. This is overcoming personal flaws. This is progression we're seeing.

And while you're hyper focused on this one aspect of him, things like his cocky confidence haven't changed a bit. I mean, that season 3 bit between him and Pixal, and his season 11 "fire maker" streak have the exact same energy. You can not convince me otherwise.

Another adjacent quality that hasn't been dampened is Kai's impulsiveness. This can be a good quality of his, he'll get into a fight without thinking, getting the jump on the enemy. Good stuff. But, this has become such a well defined trait of Kai's that it has been used in a comedic capacity. This is what happens when a character is extremely consistent to the extent that both the audience and the characters in universe would be able to predict their actions. Kai's impulsivity used to be a more serious quality that put himself and others at risk, and was a big power move whenever he did something rash, but it's become such a staple of the show that it's now being used for comedy. That isn't Kai's impulsivity going away, that's Kai's impulsivity being recontextualized for the sake of the show. The season 9 "Who's stupid enough to jump on that thing" isn't a joke at the expense of Kai just for being dumb, it's a joke at Kai's being so predictably impulsive that everyone already knows he'll be the one to put himself in an insane amount of danger without thinking twice (you know, something stupid that might get him killed). But because in this instance, the danger is warranted, this is bravery. It's a complement to his character- it's what ends up defeating the colossus. Why are some people so bothered by this joke?

Oh right, cuz for some reason people want to peg Kai as the smart one? Look, Kai isn't stupid, none of the ninja are. All of them have smart moments (all of them have dumb ones too) and Kai can certainly handle himself, but "smart" is definitely not one of his defining characteristics- I think some people are confusing smart for his actual strength. Connected to his impulsivity, Kai has very good simplistic instincts. He sees the big picture and looks at the most surface level solution- which when the situation calls for it, that does indeed make him smart. But the same logic that led him to think "This snake has a glowing target on its head, lets hit it" also led him to think "I'm in a video game, therefore I am immortal." Are you really going to look at me and say he figured out Lloyd was the green ninja through logical deduction and a careful consideration of the facts? No. He had a gut feeling, and he trusted it. Instincts- instincts paired with his impulsive following of said instincts is what leads him to solve problems- and sometimes, that can be extremely effective. This goes for other ninja too. Jay isn't the smartest ninja- I would really only classify Zane and Nya as having intelligence define them (hence their ship name). But Jay is extremely creative and crafty. He also knows his was around mechanics, and as such, this will lead him to come up with creative tech based solutions which are smart. But, idk about you, if I had to point to another ninja as being 'dumb' it would 100% be Jay. Kai is a lot of things. He's passionate and determined and confident and persistent. He's a good improvisor, he's powerful and he's charming! These are all wonderful qualities, he doesn't also have to be the smart one. I am the worlds biggest Pixal stan, and she's a smart, sassy, powerful character, but I'm not gonna sit here and tell you she's also hilarious and adaptable and strong willed. She's a straight man to all the ninja's antics, extremely tied to her samurai x suit, and lets people push her around all the time. That doesn't mean she can't be funny, or self interested, but when she does act these ways, it stems from her other more prominent qualities. That make sense?

And while we're clearing up what Kai isn't, please stop characterizing Kai as an overly protective brother - especially romantically. The only two times he's been romantically protective to Nya are in Wu's Teas which I mean, come on and in the pilots when Jay is literally a stranger. For crying out loud, by the end of the pilot, he's smiling when Jay and Nya hug. That's not overly protective, that's just normal, any reasonable person would react this way, protective. And it's such a great stereotype break for a kids show like ninjago, having an older brother who actually trusts his younger sister to be her own independent person who can make her own decisions. I mean, I guess it's fine if you HC differently but like... idk, I don't buy it.

Now, is there still room to criticize the writers? Yes. Hell yes. But not to an extent greater than any other character. Could he have had more of a defined reaction to events of the most recent season that I won't name for the sake of spoilers? Yes. But could Zane have reacted for more than .5 seconds at being an evil war lord for apparently 60 years? Yeah. Has Kai taken a back seat in the past 4 seasons? Yeah. But so has Lloyd- and he's literally the main character of the show. Not to mention two of those seasons have gone to people who had to wait over ten seasons to get one to themselves, and one of them is a 40 minute special. Kai's doing just fine.

Anyway. Kai is great. He's a fun, stereotype breaking, impulsively driven, ball of energy and confidence who gets a good amount of screen time and some fun side plots.

One last thing to clear up: no hate to anyone. This isn't targeted at anyone specific, this post has been a long time coming, I've just seen some weird overblown claims on various platforms over the past few months and I finally sat down to write about it.

I like the Kai content we have. After all, if the writers were really that bad at writing him, then no one would like him.

Wow this was so much longer than I thought it would be. Um... if you have other long winded rants you'd like to see from me... let me know I guess?

#ninjago #kai ninjago #kai smith #parachuterants #analysis #lets add this tag:#/lh

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funkin-incorrect-quotes · 2 years

Text

Why Boyfriend doesn’t drink anymore.

For the love of gods please don’t make this flop. And I’ll include any fanart from this into it.

Boyfriend: Another story I heard about myself, this happened in high school. We had this teacher in high school who’s kid went to our school. His name was Mr Updike and his son Whitmore Updike went to our high school. He was a sophomore when I was a senior, so he was two years behind me.

Boyfriend: And Mr Updike was an asshole, and one weekend he decided to leave town which you should never do when your an asshole. And Whitty Updike decided to throw a party at the teachers house. Hurray! And everyone around town heard about it and we all got up individually and thought: “Ok let’s go over there and destroy the place.”

Boyfriend: So I walk into this party, everyone I had ever met was there and everyone was drinking like it’s the of the world. People were drinking like it was the civil war and a doctor was coming to saw our legs off. It was totally unsupervised. We were like dogs without horses, we were running wild.

Boyfriend: I walked down. I walk down to the basement. They had a pool table in the basement. Agoti took a running start and threw his body onto the pool table and broke it in half.

Boyfriend: Darnell found out which room was Mr Updike’s and went upstairs and took a shit on his computer.

Boyfriend: So the party was going great. I'm standing in the basement and I′m holding a red cup, you′ve seen movies, and I'm standing there, and I′m holding a red cup, and I'm starting to black out. And I guess someone said like: "something, something police"

Boyfriend: And in a brilliant moment of word association, I yelled "fuck da police!" "Fuck da police!". And everyone else joined in. A hundred drunk, gay children yelling “fuck da police.” with the confidence of guys who’ve already been to jail and aren’t afraid of it anymore like "I served my nickle, you come and take me" confidence. But Gay children.

Boyfriend, regretting it: The reason someone said “something something police” was because the police were there.

Boyfriend: So a Philly Tankman walked down the stairs, and got to the bottom of the basement, and looked out over a sea of drunk toddlers yelling "Fuck da police" in his face. And he was almost impressed. He was like: "wow". And then he leaned into his walkie-talkie and went: "get the paddy wagon" And my friend Ruv, who is now a father, this man now has a baby, he grabbed a 40, smashed it on the ground, and yelled "scatter!"

Boyfriend: But everyone ran in a different direction, We all ran in different directions. It was like that scene in Rataouille when the humans come in the kitchen, and all the rats go in different ways, We all ran in different directions. I ran into the laundry room, And I jumped on the washing machine, And I crawled out through a window into the backyard,And now I'm running through the backyard and there′s this big chain-linked fence. And I thought "I've never climbed a fence that high before". And then I woke up at home.

Boyfriend: On Monday, I went to school because that’s what we did back then. And I’m walking into the school building, and who did I see but Whitty Updike. And he says to me “Hey were you at my party on Saturday?” And I said no. You know like a liar.

Boyfriend: And he said “things got really out of hand. Someone broke the pool table, somebody took a shit on my dads computer. But the worst thing, the worst thing is someone stole these old antique photos of my grandmother and my dad is freaking out about it.”

Boyfriend: And I had that thought that only black out drunks, and Steve Urkel can have. Did… did I do that? I figured no, I wouldn’t have done that. But I wasn’t sure until 2 years later.

Boyfriend: I’m playing video games with Spirit, someone else we went to high school with. 2 years, we’ve graduated by now. We’re playing video games for a couple hours and Spirits like “hey come here. I wanna show you something.”

Boyfriend: And he takes me into his bedroom, and he takes me into a side room off of his bedroom.

Boyfriend: NEVER A GOOD THING TO HAVE.

Boyfriend: And he shows me a tiny room that is covered wall to wall in stolen antique photos from different peoples parties over the years.

Boyfriend: And I said “why. Why do you do this.” And Spirit says to me “it’s the one thing you can’t replace.”

Boyfriend: that’s the end of that story, but how fucked up is that it’s crazy. So I don’t drink anymore.

#source: john mulaney #incorrect fnf quotes #incorrect quotes #newgrounds #spirit fnf #Spirit Friday Night Funkin #whitty fnf #whitty friday night funkin #updike fnf #agoti mod #vs agoti #friday night funkin agoti #darnell picos school #boyfriend friday night funkin #boyfriend fnf

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thebigoblin · 3 years

Text

Sterek Fic Recs Part 3

[You can find the first two lists here: Fluffy Sterek Recs & Sterek Fic Recs. Also here's a special fic, check it out]

First off, thank you all for a 100 followers!! As of September 7, 2021 you've made me feel really, really good about my obsession with two oblivious idiots (with sprinkles of the hale pack and other fandoms), and this is my way of thanking you ♥️

If you're on PC, you can see that there is a page dedicated solely to fic recs, which caters to other ships & fandoms too. So don't feel left out if you're looking for something other than Sterek!

Without further ado, let's get to it then!

an awful curse

Isaac is asleep in a chair. The angle of his neck makes Derek wince in sympathy.

"Isaac," Derek says.

Isaac snaps awake immediately.

"You're-"

"Where's Stiles?"

"Stiles?" Isaac asks.

Jesus. It's not like they know more than one.

AU - Canon Divergence | 6.3k | By blinkiesays

Throw Away The Key

Stiles knew it was stupid to go to the hunters’ headquarters all by himself, so when he finds himself caught, he can really only blame himself.

It shouldn't surprise Stiles when the situation quickly goes from bad to worse as the hunters throw him to a feral werewolf waiting to tear him apart.

Sucks that it's Derek, though.

AU - Canon Divergence | 5.9k | By mommymuffin

Whatever Happened Last Night, Why Did Glitter Have to Be Involved?

Derek rolled out of bed in search of his phone - quickly finding it in the pair of jeans that had evidently been tossed aside haphazardly on the way to the bed. Seeing the pants sparked flashes of memories - wolfsbane-laced alcohol, loud music, multicolored lights.

Peter’s new supernatural-friendly club - the pack had gone to the opening night party.

He unlocked his phone and opened the pack group chat, which Erica had affectionately named ‘Moon Sluts’.

>>Derek: What the fuck happened last night

[or: Derek wakes up with three things on his mind: he feels like he was punched by a troll, his mate is missing, and there's glitter covering his bed. Oh, and the pack group chat is mildly helpful]

Prompt #159 - “Also, my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall.”

Crack Vibes | 1.2k | By ash_mcj

Good to Eat

So if Stiles married Derek Hale, he could become Jewish too? Perfect. It was settled. Stiles gleefully shoveled a forkful of cheesy shells into his mouth.

"Uh oh. I know that look.” Claudia shook her head.

"Don’t worry, Mom, ” Stiles said, reaching for his plastic Batman cup.

"I’ve got a plan.”

"Good luck, Derek Hale,” his mother muttered.

Rude.

AU - Childhood Friends | 1.7k | By Jmeelee

Murder Brows and Avoidance Tactics

Derek gets the wrong end of the stick.

Written for prompt: "You're jealous, aren't you?"

AU - Everybody Lives | 2k | By Dragonink13

Double Vision (only registered users can read this one)

"So what caused my hearing and sense of smell to dull?"

Deaton's brow furrowed, all amusement vanishing from his face. "What do you mean?"

Derek snapped, letting loose all of his anger and fear at the man before him. "I mean I can't hear your heartbeat or the cars down below or the birds in the attic! I can't smell the flowers in Mrs. Everett's apartment, I can't smell the rotting burger in the fridge that Isaac left in there a month ago, I can't smell or hear anything like I normally can!" Deaton mouth was pressed into a thin line. "Can you explain that?!"

Tumblr Prompt: Derek jealous of himself.

AU - Everyone Lives | 6.1k | By Novkat21

Kiss?

Derek likes kissing Stiles, honestly he does. Until he doesn't.

Fluff | 3.6k | By clotpolesonly

Oblivious Misadventures, and Other Such Tales

Going to college was exciting and new, a chance for new friends and a fresh start, and the best part was, there was a supernatural fraternity on campus, meaning Scott finally had the freedom to be himself.

Then he met the resident human who came with a stalker alpha. What was the point of a supernatural fraternity if he still had to pretend to be human. And seriously, did Stiles ever fall asleep somewhere normal?

(aka - Five TImes Scott Found Derek and Stiles Sleeping, and the One Time He Didn't)

AU, Supernatural is real but not known by everyone, Alive Hale Family | 11.2k | By Little Spoon

Call Me (Cliché)

When the sheriff's sister ends up in a wheelchair for the duration of summer, Stiles' dreams of three months full of pack bonding, late-night video games and bro-time with Scott come crashing down. He's temporarily relocated to Redford, a three hour drive away, and he can already tell he won't be getting many visitors.

Sure the pack will forget about him while he's gone, Stiles is determined to make the most of his summer of isolation, training his body and mind - and his magic - so he can come back with a bang, and maybe catch a certain Sourwolf's eye.

Then Derek shows up at his window one night with a flimsy excuse about needing research done. Suddenly, his summer away is looking a whole lot more interesting.

AU - Canon Divergence | 84.6k | By Orphan_Account aka the author has dissociated themselves from the fic

Shiver

Stiles has really, really cold hands. Luckily, Derek knows just what to do about that.

Established Relationship | 1.7k | By canistakahari

Derek Hale's Possible Heart

An anon sent me a sterek prompt for Laura teasing Derek and Stiles joining in, then somehow sharing their feelings for each other in the mess of things.

AU - Canon Divergence | 4.3k | By loserchildhotpants

What's a Secret Identity?

Stiles sipped at a mug of coffee, absently watching the news play in the break room. Because of course a news station couldn't play anything other than its own content, even in the one part of the office that was supposed to be a safe space from work. His interview with Superman was making a rerun and Stiles glanced at Derek before commenting absently, “I’d totally let Superman fuck me.”

Derek, who had been in the middle of a swig of coffee, choked violently, “That’s not something I needed to know at nine in the morning, Stiles.”

Stiles raised an eyebrow. “What time would you prefer I tell you about all of the things I would let Superman do to my body?”

AU, Derek is Superman | 7k | By Chrystie, imabignerd and kate882

i see that you've come so far [just like them old stars]

But her big brother’s unwillingness to touch anyone, like he thinks he doesn’t deserve it isn’t the only thing she notices. She also notices how Stiles doesn’t touch him.

Everyone reaches for Derek in some form or another, but Stiles- Stiles is something different altogether because he reaches for Derek but he never makes contact.

He’ll be trying to shimmy past Derek and instead of putting a hand on his arm like most of them do, he’ll reach out with a hand and stop it scant centimeters away from Derek’s skin.

Or they’ll be walking alongside each other and Stiles will hover a hand on Derek’s lower back.

It’s both fascinating and tragic to watch, like NASA lost control of one of their robots and instead of it landing on the moon it’s fated to gravitate around it.

AU - Canon Divergence | 2.3k | By crossroadswrite

Déjà Vu

There’s a shop in Beacon Hills that no one knows anything about except that the mysterious proprietor, a witch in whispered circles, knows what you need before you do and that the things given are always just what you need.

Derek, lost after a breakup, heads into the shop to see if he can find something to help him forget his ex. The witch gives him a potion to drink, and when Derek wakes up, he finds he’s sixteen again and there’s a new student at his school, Stiles Stilinski.

Everything is familiar and yet not, and Derek finds he’s strangely drawn to Stiles in a way that is entirely supernatural.

AU, Supernatural is Real | 8.8k | By gremlins-came-and-got-me and StaciNadia

Start Small, Like Oak Trees

The months following Allison's death have passed Stiles by in a haze of monotony. He sleepwalks through days that seem to lose their color, an unwilling passenger in a body he no longer trusts. Eventually, he thinks, he'll just fade away. He isn't sure anyone would notice. Then, during a spur of the moment grocery run, he stumbles upon Derek Hale attempting to console a lost child, and for the first time in recent memory the world doesn't seem so awful.

He's not sure what he'd been expecting when he eventually convinces Derek to move into the Stilinski's spare bedroom, but a newfound passion for weeding and topsoil certainly isn't it.

AU - Canon Divergence | 24.2k | By SmallBirds

Undercover K9

As it usually goes, Derek acts before he thinks. This time he has a good reason, though-it's all Stiles' fault. Mostly.

Or, that time when Derek volunteered to spend all his spare time as a wolf with the Beacon Hills Sheriff's Office K9 Unit, just to protect Stiles' dumb ass.

Future Fic | 17.9k | By Cobrilee

Rose Colored Glasses

“Obviou—um, what? Derek?” Stiles managed. “What? You’re not colorblind. You’re colorblind?”

“Yes.” Derek said gruffly. “And?”

“And? What do you mean and? You can’t see colors?” Stiles demanded, thrown. “Does it—what kind is it? Red-green? Blue-yellow? Why doesn’t—oh my god, is this why your entire freaking wardrobe was completely black until like two years ago? Oh my god!”

“There’s nothing wrong with having a favorite color, Stiles.”

Established Relationship | 2.2k | By SassyStarboard

1,460 Days (gotta clean my slate)

Two years after Scott becomes Alpha and Derek gives it up for Cora, Stiles gets hurt during a fight and ends up in a coma for two weeks. According to the nurse, a guy has been visiting him every day and, as much as he wishes it were Derek, it sounds a lot like Scott. Except he and Scott aren't even friends anymore.

AU - Canon Divergence | 10k | By army_of_angels

This is it for now. Happy reading y'all! ♥️

#sterek #my sterek fic recs #sterek fic recs #derek hale #stiles stilinski

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imaginationmess · 3 years

Text

TAKE MY HAND (ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE) [BAKUGOU KATSUKI X READER]; TWO

Bakugou Katsuki X Reader

AGED UP AU!

Summary: When you take on the burden to keep the ones living safe, which causes you to become a traitor, but you had to pick a decision, and it cost their trust in you. You reverted to your old violent self. Months later, you find yourself face to face with your old friends. They want you to help them because they know you can handle yourself in this current state of the world. They are still ignorant of the state the world is. They have no idea how more dangerous it has become.

“We are still fucking fighting and won’t stop fighting. If you fucking give up, we lose!”

BEFORE READING! PLEASE READ DISCLAIMER!

Previously Chapter ONE; Masterlist

Chapter TWO

Word Count: 1,600+

Spoiler Alert for Anime watchers: There will be mention of Midoirya’s new quirks that haven’t been introduced in the anime.

Once the four of them have taken a shower and had time to discuss with each other weighing the pros and cons of trusting you. You did have a good record of keeping up with your promises before the incident where you betrayed all of their trust. It’s a tie between trusting you or not trusting you over a deal.

They are gonna reconsider the vote about it, later at night. They are all curious how you became a Mafia boss from just an original teenager who wanted to become a hero. To only become a cold killer and making a name for yourself years later.

They only have heard stories and rumors of the alias you go by.

Glitch.

A masked individual who is widely known for their cold,calculated mind and a heartless killer who didn’t care who gets caught in the crossfire. A leader who rapidly climbing up the ladder in the mafia world during the time of the apocalypse. A leader who became to hold more territory and killing off of other leaders to take their territory and expand their army.

A name alone made your enemies tremble in their boots.

They are hoping to get better judgment, seeing how things are run here.

The young boy that goes by the alias Speedy gave them a quick tour, but didn’t show the whole building due to being confidential from outsiders. He is just following orders. He was taking them to the cafeteria to grab something to eat to only notice where the children were eating all together were pointing at them. Most of them have eyes of admiration and pure awe looking at them.

“They are fans of you guys. They have seen the old video recording of previous sports festivals. We had to keep them somewhat entertained. Glitch got her hands on those old videos.” Speedy explains to continue to eat his soup.

The boys nod, understanding why the kids are so excited to see them in the flesh. It was weird, but somewhat comforting that the younger generation isn’t taught to hate heroes.

“I would keep those degrading comments of Miss Glitch to yourselves because the people who live here aren’t fans of heroes, much less of outsides. I heard you guys arguing earlier outside the room. You weren’t very quiet.” He looks at Bakugou in a way saying you are the loud one, before adding, “Everyone here would not agree on whatever image you decide to picture her.”

“Why wouldn’t they agree? Isn’t she a killer though?” Todoroki is just addressing the tension in the air. Midoriya and Kirishima choked on their food before coughing. They forgot Todoroki still struggles to read the social situations.

“Yes, she has killed many, but it is done to keep everyone safe. At the state of the world, it isn’t run by heroes who never got their hands dirty. It is run by killers because prison doesn’t exist. Who is gonna be the one to put those low lives underneath the ground? You guys never faced the true danger of the current state of the world. You are always protected just because you attend a prestigious school before the apocalypse hit.” Speedy spits out before taking a deep breath and just continues eating his food. His left hand was

“I apologized for his comment. We just have a history of them. It didn’t end on a good note. I know yo-.”

Speedy interrupts Midoriya by slams his spoon on the table before taking a deep breath to recollect himself.

“You don’t know any of our experiences. It was hell before Miss Glitch came to save us and took us in with no judgment. She taught us how to freaking survive by teaching us numerous tools such as self-defense and weapon handling. She never expected anything in return, unlike other mafia groups.”

The sound of a clap pauses the tension being created by five of them. The ex heroes in training look up to see meet the emotionless man covered with tattoos and scars. The same man who was within the room left to the minor from earlier. He placed a hand on top of Speedy head to ruffle his hair.

“Go ahead, eat with your sibling. Take a breather. I will take over making sure these little shits behave.” He removes his hand from his head before taking a seat beside the teenager.

“But-” Speedy was hesitant on leaving his position.

“It’s an order. Spend time with your sibling. Enjoy the night off.” The older man takes out a red apple from his pocket. Speedy stares at the four outside and gives a quick nod before taking his leave.

Bakugou Katsuki was staring at the man with suspicion as if he saw him before this mission. He wasn’t the only one who was thought so. Midoriya recalls those same tattoos, but it must have been a long time ago. He couldn’t easily recall. They were eating quietly until they finished.

“Let’s start ny introducing myself. I am Daichi. I am usually the one who runs this base when Miss Glitch isn’t present. It must have been your lucky day because you would have been tortured to death for trespassing.” The hairs behind their neck rise and getting goosebumps.

They sense malicious by the way he is sounding. Midoriya’s danger senses were activating and going crazy causing him to want to step away from him. It takes him back to when All For One and Stain’s presence.

Daichi’s yellow eyes stare at every one of them as he takes out a pocket knife directs it at Midoriya who was sitting in front of him. “The only reason you four are alive and even getting treated with special treatment is because of Miss Glitch. Step out of line, I wouldn’t hesitate to beat the shit of you wannabe heroes. That’s the only thing. I am allowed to do.” He swiftly put his pocket knife after cutting his apple into six pieces which fall on the napkin. He claps his hands together cutting through the tension for him to drop the act to replace it with a fake smile.

“Anyways comes to my question. What did you talk about with the young boy making them lose their composure?”

He was oblivious enjoying tormenting these wannabe heroes.

_______________________________________

Meanwhile, inside the hero’s refuge base where there is a tall metal barrier that runs underneath 20 feet underground.

There was a young man with black hair with his signature scarf, looking at a map looking where to travel to get more food and other resources. They are running out of places to investigate. The last 2 locations were a complete bust. It has been cleaned out completely. He is one of the leaders of the camp where they have stayed safe since the beginning of the apocalypse.

There was a knock on the wall, before someone coming in through the curtains. They pull a chair across from him, before taking a seat. They are twirling it around for them to rest their arms on the top of the chair.

“Aizawa, I can’t believe you took my suggestion seriously.” The young male with the purple bed hair as if he just rolled out of bed, comments. He has a small scar above his eyebrow. He has a few scars on his arms that have grown muscular.

“It was insane, but not outside of the possibilities.” Aizawa laid back in his chair and stares at his former student who is now somewhat a version copy of himself when it comes to fighting styles.

“Do you tell the trio? Whom they are gonna be meeting?” The purple-haired questions, not seeing they would be willing to see a former classmate that so-called became a traitor in their eyes.

“No. They wouldn’t be willing to do it despite us being a tight spot right now when it comes to resources.” Aizawa answers, before ruffling his hair and keeping his eyes closed. He is stressed out and not having a lot of options. They are running low on adults that were pro heroes. They have lost many throughout the apocalypse. Many of them abandon their original mission to save themselves.

The apocalypse revealed the true heroes who aren’t for the money. They are a good amount of pro heroes who got captured by mafia groups to have power. Some of them show over time randomly at their doorstep after being spared by the mask individual Glitch. That’s the only information they are allowed to share about their interaction with Glitch.

Aizawa and the other leaders of the camp believe the individual took them close enough for them to walk to their camp. Aizawa suspects it is one of his former students whom he didn’t have any contract ever since the infamous incident. Majorly of his students calls them to be traitors.

“I still don’t get why we never told the truth about what actually happened that day.” The purple-haired male looks to the side to see Eri outside away from any harm playing with Kota.

“Hitoshi, It was a quick agreement exchange of keeping our mouths close and follow whatever story they want to make up. She swore to keep her word on securing your guys safe within her presence.” Aizawa applies pressure on his forehead to relieve the headache.

Aizawa remembering back to the U.A dorms where you are smiling and being a normal teenager. The image of that student whom he watched over for months became dark. She was no longer a child, but an emotionless shell of what she should be.

The lifeless eyes staring back at him, covered in bruises and blood that wasn’t her own. She was carrying unconscious Eri. You were bathed by your enemy’s blood. The remaining light of innocence in your eyes had vanished from existence. It only reveals just cold, calculated eyes that were staring at his soul.

“Aizawa.”

💣-💥-💣-💥-💣-💥-💣-💥-💣-💥-💣-💥-💣-💥-💣-💥-💣-💥-💣-💥-💣

I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter!

Any thoughts/Feelings/Predictions that you have while out reading this chapter.

I would love to hear them! <3

If you wish to be tagged, do comment down below.

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