#EDIT: MARLENE? PLEASE. WRONG SHOW | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

with-love-anu · 4 years

Text

Over a cup of coffee

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader

Summary: Sirius falls for you as you start coming to their coffee shop regularly

Warnings: A fluffy one-shot! No warnings to give ;)

Word Count: 1,912

Sirius groggily started to set up the coffee shop. As much as he loved making artisan coffee, getting up at 6am was always a nightmare. James was beside him, wiping the counter and Remus was gone to the market to get fresh whole milk, bacon and eggs.

Their college time had been amazing but they all had come to the conclusion that they liked the simpler things in life. James had the money; Sirius made the most excellent coffee, Remus baked mouth watering pastries and James had been making the best sandwiches for them since childhood. They opened up a small barista located at the peak point of the city (near colleges, offices) named the “The Marauders’ Eatery”; which had become quite famous through the years. The store opened at 8 and by 9am it bustled with life.

As the day progressed, the crowd got thinner and the boys finally got the time to breathe. Sirius sighed cleaning the mixer.

“Think Marlene will drop by today?” James asked wriggling his eyebrows and Sirius groaned. Over time, the shop had gained quite many patrons. That included some girls who would gush at one of them so very obviously. Marlene was one of the girls who constantly flirted with him. He did not know how he could ever make her understand that he was not interested in her. She couldn’t take a hint.

“Shove off James, go back to thinking how you would impress Lily because we are not giving her any more free coffee!”

“Ah-“James started but someone came to the counter.

“Hello, what can I get you?” Sirius asked with his customary smile. Shit, she was beautiful.

“Can I get a large iced-coffee. Dark. And the banana walnut muffin?”

“Of-course, your name?”

“(Y/n)” she said smiling and Sirius felt his heart flutter.

“Please have a seat, and we’ll call you when your order is up.” Sirius said, moving to do the order.

“Thank you.” She said and moved to sit down.

James raised an eyebrow at Sirius.

“What?”

“You find her cute, don’t you?” he asked and Sirius rolled his eyes.

“She’s okay.” He said, pouring the iced drink in a big cup and placing it on a tray with the muffin and some napkins.

“(Y/n)!!!” he called out as she paid and took the tray from him, thanking him again.

Sirius bit his lip. He constantly sneaked glances at her as she continued to work on her I-pad. She had her headphones on and worked in utmost concentration. She would bite her lip or run a hand through her hair occasionally. Remus snickered at him and he told him off and couldn’t help but blush. (Y/n) looked utterly adorable. She would come up a few times to order something and was incredibly polite each time.

It was almost 8 and James and Remus dealt with their last customers. Sirius straightened his apron and went towards (Y/n), gently patting on her shoulder. She looked up and removed her headphones.

“Can I get you something else? We are closing soon.” Sirius asked. She looked down at her watch and gasped.

“Oh my god! It’s almost 8. No, I don’t want anything else. And thank you for being so welcoming today, your coffee’s the best!” she said and Sirius smiled widely.

“Thank you and you’re welcome here every day.”

As she left the store he heard a clap and turned around to find his best friends smirking at him.

“The girl who Sirius thinks is ‘okay’” James said as Remus grinned.

“Oh and she is ‘welcome here every day’”

“Shove off both of you! That might be the last time she came here, she was just being polite.” He said and James scoffed.

“Doesn’t answer our question.”

***

To Sirius’s pleasant surprise that was in fact not the last time you came to the shop. You started coming to their barista every day, sitting at a corner and working. You drank coffee and tried different bakery products and some of the weirder sandwiches too, much to James delight.

“So, what prompted you all to start this barista?” you said as James worked around.

“Basically we used to be those college students who needed coffee to survive and whatever baristas there were, were either too expensive or the coffee was just too poor. Sirius bought a coffee machine after some time and started making way too excellent coffee.”

“That’s me!” Sirius called out and you giggled.

“Yeah, and I used to make all these midnight snacks for us three, so we just got the idea and did it.” James said as he handed you his newest bacon sandwich.

“Well, I am glad you did, because this place is amazing. The sandwiches too!” You said to the three of them bowed dramatically. You laughed shaking your head at their antics and went to sit at your spot continuing to edit the cover for the new comic.

You yawned and stretched taking a break from drawing. There was a tap on your shoulder and you looked to see Sirius, who offered you some coffee. You raised your eyebrows and he shrugged gesturing towards the seat in front of you.

“Yes, of course.” You said and he sat down in front of you.

“So, I always see you on your I-pad, what do you work on?”

“I actually design comic books for the Bachpan’s convention.” You said taking a sip of the coffe. God it tasted good.

“Bachpan?”

“So basically that’s an organization that researches on child’s behavior and how to help them build better personalities. The comics I make are based on the very same research.”

“Oooh. That’s cool. How do you do it?”

“Subtle references. Most children are driven by desire; they want something or the other. So, we create a very innocent character, which is seemingly just like them and starts to do things their parents warn them against. It helps with the ‘learn by making mistakes’. And then we show them the consequences of doing that. I try not to incorporate a character speaking out the morale directly, so as for the children to figure it out themselves.”

“Can I see some?” he asked. His eyes were so bright right, you were sure you could have said yes to anything he requested.

You showed him your latest work and he laughed at how funny the characters were. Slowly, the conversation shifted and you talked about yourself and your life and Sirius told you how he had a temperament for arts before. You found yourself smiling and listening attentively as he rambled. He was charming. You couldn’t deny that. Those people whom you saw gushing over him had a reason. But there was so much more to him. He was extremely perceptive and intuitive. He was funny, in a very natural way.

“Oi Sirius!” you looked over to Remus who smiled at you. “Get your ass over here; you’ve been talking for over an hour.”

Your eyes widened. Did you really? Your cheeks flushed and you looked at Sirius, who slowly got up.

“Pretty, how time flies, right?” he said and you nodded.

“Well, I had good company.” You said as Sirius’s face erupted in a loopy grin.

***

Sirius and you started sitting and talking every day after that. Sometimes James and Remus joined you two, sometimes they didn’t. You got to know more and more about them. They may think they were they cool and stuff, but according to you, they were the sweetest, nerdiest group ever.

“So, like Sirius used to be the bad boy, playboy-“ James said as you all sat together on one of their breaks.

“Wait, playboy?” you said cocking an eyebrow at Sirius. Sirius flushed.

“Well, I liked sex, don’t blame me!” he said and you giggled.

And somehow, you saw yourself falling for Sirius. You couldn’t point your finger on when or how it happened, it just did. You found your heart fluttering when he flirted with you, your stomach bounced when he winked at you. You couldn’t help it.

Sirius was frustrated. He had started liking you, a lot. He had no idea how to tell you. ‘(Y/n) I love how cute you are and want to take you out on a date.’ Well, that did sound quite okay, but how was he to ask? He always became a blubbering mess whenever he came close to talk to you about liking you. You made him nervous.

There was a ring behind him and he turned enthusiastically, expecting it to be you. He couldn’t be more wrong. Marlene. She came to him with an extra sway of her hips and he winced. He forced a smile.

“Good Morning! What can I get you?”

“Oh Sirius, don’t act like we don’t know each other. Okay, what about you make me whatever you want to today? You know I like everything you do.” She cooed and Sirius stopped himself from rolling his eyes.

He went to work on an espresso and heard someone else come in.

“Hey, Sirius!” your voice came and he turned around excitedly. “Can I get my usual coffee and the cake Remus said he’ll bake today?”

“Of-course!” he said as you sighed, standing at the counter. You did not notice the woman standing beside you glaring at you.

“So did you guys watch it?” you asked referring to the movie, you lent them a day before.

“Oh yeah, it was fantastic! Thank you for recommending it.” he said placing Marlene’s order on the counter, giving her the bill. Sirius noticed how she hadn’t her eyes off you, judging your every move.

“I’m sorry, who are you?” Marlene asked and you turned.

“I’m-“

“She’s my girlfriend!” Sirius interrupted and you looked at him wide eyed. You weren’t the only one.

“What?!?” Marlene demanded. Sirius pleaded you with his eyes and you huffed. Fine, you’d play along.

“She’s my girlfriend. Marlene, (Y/n). (Y/n), Marlene.” He gestured between the two of you and you gave her a smile. She shot daggers at you in return. She paid Sirius looking at him in a sickening sweet smile and huffed out of the store. You raised an eyebrow at Sirius.

“She wouldn’t leave me alone!” he whined and you let a little smile play on your lips.

“And the only way to get out of it seemed to be calling me your girlfriend?” you mused and Sirius blushed.

“Well, I mean we two would be quite believable a couple. You are cute and funny and smart and you are someone I want to take out on a date. I mean I LOVE TO. I MEAN I WOULD. HYPOTHETICALLY. I-” he ranted and you found yourself loving the red mess he had become into.

“Sirius.”

“SIRIUS!” you said and he finally stopped.

“There’s a new restaurant open just down the street. I hear the food is mouth watering. Would you like to go with me there tonight?”

Sirius’s eyes widened and you regretted the bout of confidence you were overcome with.

“Like on a date?” he asked and you nodded, gulping. Please don’t say no.

“I would love too.” He said as he started making you a big cup of dark iced coffee. As Sirius gave you the drink and a muffin the two of you smiled at each other. And years later, when people asked you two about your love story your reply was, “Over a cup of coffee.”

A/N: This was written for Riley’s ( @wreckofawriter ) Cliched Month Writing Challenge. Let me know what you think!

#sirius #sirius black #sirius x reader #sirius black x reader #the marauders #marauders #padfoot #marauders x reader #harry potter #hp #sirius black fanfiction #sirius fanfiction #Anu writes #cliche month

365 notes · View notes

heavenlydragon · 4 years

Text

Part 4: The Duchess of Freid

Go to: PART 1 / PART 2 / PART 3 / PART 4

Authors’ Notes: This is an English translation of the first chapter of Vol 4 of the Escaflowne NewType Novels, affectionately called “the Marlene Chapter”. Translation was done by Fayrinferno and scanning/beta reading/editing was done by Pikafwance (Escaflowme). Please note that the chapter will be posted in four parts between Escaflowme and Heavenlydragon.

Onwards to the last part! You may remember this from a few years ago; now it’s updated in context with the previous parts. With this, we finish posting the translation of the chapter “Royal Princess” from the Escaflowne NewType Novels. Thank you for your attention, until next time!

As always, time hurried, eventually consoling those who suffer. Before Marlene noticed, almost two months had already passed since she arrived in Freid.

“Your Highness, the Duke comes to ask about your condition,” Ditoa said softly, poking her head through the bedroom door. Luckily, Marlene’s request to bring the maid to Freid with her had been granted immediately.

“Now now, your complexion is a little better today, isn’t it?” Ditoa said as she arranged the pillows on the bed behind Marlene’s back, so she could sit up.

“It’s alright, there is no need to rise. Your well-being comes first,” signalling his arrival, the Duke's dark timbering voice seemed to stop Ditoa's hands.

“How are you feeling? Has the doctor been here yet?” Marlene shook her head a little under the Duke’s worried gaze.

“He is supposed to come soon. But Her Highness said a doctor is not necessary,” said Ditoa.

“Marlene is my precious wife. If the doctor sees you, and says it’s nothing serious, then that’s fine. For now, however, please let him examine you.”

“Yes,” Marlene said meekly. What Aston said about the Duke was not superficial, he was truly a wonderful person. His personality was genuinely noble, earning him the deep loyalty of his retainers. And his rule was kind, earning him the love of his people, as Marlene noticed herself. On first sight, he seemed rough and blunt, but the kindness and care for others immediately softened Marlene’s anxious and tense heart.

To Marlene’s astonishment, the Duke did not ask her hand upon King Aston’s recommendation, it was the wish of the Duke himself.

“But you hadn’t even met me!” At that moment, embarrassment started to show on the Duke’s face, peeking even through his stern, thick beard.

“Your portrait was enough to steal my heart away. I shamelessly collected every rumor I could about you among the folk.”

“Oh my…!” Marlene’s eyes went round. Blood rose into Duke’s dark face as he looked at Marlene with sincere eyes.

“The more I heard the more I knew you were the only one for me.” The Duke held Marlene’s hand softly. “I am not planning to do anything you would not want. But you should know that it was me who wanted you to come here more than anyone.”

“You are too kind to me.” Bowing her head, Marlene could not stop the tears from overflowing.

There are so many kinds of people, she thought leaning on the Duke’s arm. She was born into a royal family, into a mold she could not bend nor break, like many people around her. That’s why the meeting with Allen was a shock.

Looking back on her relationship with the knight, it had been her first contact with the real world, which unfortunately never had a chance to go beyond a short introduction. She never expected it to happen again, but now, there was another man who had the power to overwhelm Marlene by his heartfelt affection.

“I am a lucky woman,” mused Marlene, honestly.

The Duke held her close with the gentle force of his arms. “Those words make me really happy.” Marlene buried her face in his warm chest, thinking.

Could it be that the fate was kind to me, after all?

As the Duke held her tightly, his beard scratched Marlene’s face. “Ah!” she squealed. “What’s wrong?” Startled, the Duke released Marlene to look at her face.

“It’s prickly!” Marlene blushed, blinking the last of her tears away before smiling. The Duke chuckled brightly.

Spending time like this, just the two of them, Marlene got to know the other side of the Duke. This one was rich in expression, unlike the stern face he usually wore in public.

His close retainers seemed to notice this change, too, as they smiled and gave warm looks to Marlene as well.

And yet…

Today, Marlene found it difficult to look the Duke in the face. It was because she knew the true reason behind her current illness.

Once the doctor examines me, everyone else will know, too. Marlene thought as she listened under her covers to the sound of the Duke’s fading steps as he walked away. It was only a few days ago that she noticed the changes in her body.

A child, the result of that time… Marlene intuitively knew.

Allen’s child. From the date, there was no mistake. It should have felt good to have something connecting her to someone, whom she once believed to be the love of her life. And one part of her was truly happy. But now, she was the Duchess [1] of Freid.

Giving birth to a child that does not share the Duke’s blood, was that something that could ever be forgiven?

It’s just me who knows.

Only Marlene knew the truth. Nobody, not even the doctor could know the father of a child which was not born yet.

The Duke would be overjoyed to hear the news. Could she not also come to believe that the child was his? The Duke would not doubt her for a second, would he?

It will be alright. Marlene thought. I alone will carry the burden.

Except…

The Duke’s sincerity and Allen’s unawareness made Marlene hesitate.

I may say I’ll carry the burden, but am I not just trying to escape the hardest part? Marlene asked herself.

I don’t want to lose his love.

But would she be able to continue accepting the Duke’s pure love while hiding such an important lie in the pit of her belly? Wouldn’t it mean betraying him twice fold?

Marlene lied back, gently stroking her stomach. She could feel nothing yet. But there were sure signs of a new life growing there.

Marlene shook her head gently.

I don’t need anything else but this.

Her breath got calm as she caressed her belly slowly.

End of Chapter.

---------------

[1] 后 - empress, queen, princess consort

#escaflowne #vision of escaflowne #tenkuu no escaflowne #escaflowne newtype novels #translation #marlene aston #duke freid #freid #chid #tl #whew done! more translations to come but taking a break from the novels

31 notes · View notes

soul-music-is-life · 5 years

Note

Did you see that Marlene retweeted a ship poll with the Emison tag? Woman please, why you playing like this.

Note: see edit below

***

I didn’t see that. Can’t say I’m surprised. I don’t know the content of whatever was published…but I am absolutely certain she’s using Emison fans for views (despite how much she loves the ship). And as much as I try to defend her as a person (and still do), I disagree with that tactic…so fucking much. She needs to nut up and just be honest about the fact that she has no plans for Emison and that she’s making it up as she goes along.

She’s never going to bring Emison back (despite promises of their journey). Shay is done. Emison is done. If you’re watching for their happy ending it’ll never happen (at least not on screen).

I’m not telling you to give up, but…I’m a realist. I’m also a writer who knows BS when I see it.

I saw this coming a mile away.

*******

Edit 5/5: According to one of my followers, apparently this has caused some controversy with someone on Twitter (which I don’t tend to get on Twitter for that very reason).

The fact that I even have to address this is another reason I’m not giving my time to this show. People get too heated, too conflicted, and take things way too personally. This post was an ask that I gave my opinion on, backed by actual facts.

1) Shay has no interest in the show. And if you follow her at all you know that she’s been busy with several other projects and has not given any indication whatsoever she has plans to do a cameo to resolve anything on screen. It’s pretty clear to anyone who knows how to read people that she’s moved on from PLL. “Never say never” is Hollywood speak for “I don’t want to disappoint people and say no, but the truth is that I’ve moved on.” And if people want to believe that it’s all been top secret and that she’s secretly filmed something, more power to you, but given that she’s pretty much been out of the country AND the personal things she was dealing with last year…I just don’t see it.

2) Marlene said in an interview that she knew about “The Perfectionists” and who was on board when she was filming season 6 of PLL (Sasha said the exact same thing). That would mean that Marlene had plenty of time to figure out the creative aspects of the whole Emison thing without the added off-screen drama. Why bring off-screen drama when you know ½ of the party of the couple is not game for the show? For ratings. That’s Marketing 101. It unfortunately backfired, and I really honestly hate that, because a lot of people seem to be enjoying the show and now they’re caught up in this whirlwind when they’re just trying to chill and talk about the show. They’ve been screwed the most, because here is a show that has characters they really like getting low ratings because people are spreading negativity about it because of this.

3) Before the show even aired Marlene repeatedly assured fans that Emison was solid. She painted a picture of positivity. She used vague terms like “journey” and “growth” instead of admitting that they were having problems. She knew if she was honest her fanbase wouldn’t tune in, which I get. But if you go back and look at the interviews you can clearly tell that everything that was said in the press was a way to invite Emison shippers in. The truth is, she can’t possibly have any plans for Emison when she doesn’t even know how many seasons are in line. She has to change her ideas accordingly to adjust to that. That’s part of screenwriting. Storyboarding constantly changes depending upon who is available, where the plot is at, ect.

All of these things are facts. Those are all credible things that can be looked up. I literally said in this post that you don’t have to give up, but that I personally am realistic about the situation. If there are people out there who want to believe otherwise, that’s fine, but I prefer to read between the lines, so I know what to expect and I don’t create unrealistic scenarios in my head. That way I’m not disappointed.

By all means, be optimistic if you like. I very well could be wrong. And if I am, I’ll be fine with being wrong. But I’d rather be wrong and not disappointed than right and upset. All I’m saying is that you should go into it with realistic expectations, especially if you are only watching for a ship (this doesn’t apply to most people). And when/if this all comes to fruition with Emison not being a thing anymore, don’t be pissed or upset or angry. Because the writing is on the wall. In big fucking letters. And anyone who believed otherwise has no right to scream and yell at Marlene about it. (note: no one should scream and yell at her, period).

In terms of Emison being over, perhaps whoever is upset with me hasn’t seen my previous opinions on the show in which I explain that Emison is never going to get a concrete resolution with Shay not being interested. What that means is that there is a possibility that when the show ends there will be a line thrown in there where Alison says she’s going back to be with her family and to Emily (or there is a deleted scene from PLL that has whatever is needed to show them together again). But that’s not a “plan” or a “journey”. That’s fan-service. She’s never going to bring Emison back in a way that will make sense, and she’ll never get them back to the status they were once at without the resolution on screen, which is not happening, because this isn’t and never was an Emison spin-off. That’s the problem with this storyline (which should not have been a storyline in the first place). The drama that has been created that can’t possibly be written and fixed realistically.

For what it’s worth, I do hope that she has a plan for them, but I also know that a lot of the tactics she’s using are for marketing. She has to sell it some way. And that’s the route she went. If you want to trust in her, that’s fine. I never said Marlene was lying (in fact, if you know me you’d know that I support her and I always have). I said she was using marketing ploys. When she says something in an interview I tend to remember it’s a calculated response (aka, BS, which is what writing essentially is). But if you look at her track record she’s been on camera saying things that are proven to be false in the future.

Both her and Sasha have been quoted in saying things that have proven to be false (on Sasha’s part, that’s part of her contract and I do not have any animosity about any of it, again, because I get it). Sasha literally said that there was no separation. No split. Then all of a sudden they’re divorced. There’s not a lot of backtracking you can do on that. Marlene has said similar things. She said in one interview that she hoped Alison would “earn the right to love again” (aka, love interest), and then said “I never said that”. And here we are with a divorced Alison and a completely open plot for her to receive a love interest. And when she gets a love interest, well, there’s your proof that it’s all a dog and pony show.

If you think all of this is not a way to try and keep the Emison fans watching then you need to take a Marketing class.

I have respect for people watching. I want to make that very clear. I’ve never said “don’t watch the show”. I’ve simply given opinions, oftentimes backed by facts. I’m a diplomatic person. I think everyone is entitled to their beliefs.

This original post was not anti-Emison. I am very much an Emison fan. Just because I’m not rooting for Emison in a show that’s not about them does not mean I’m a hater. This post was me telling other Emison fans to tread carefully when it comes to hoping for positivity for Emison. I never once said that people should not have their own beliefs. But people are allowed to have a difference of opinion without the dissent. If you have a problem with my opinion, that’s fine. I respect that. However, trying to bad-mouth someone without having all the facts is not the right approach to anything.

Emison attacking other Emison fans is fucking ludicrous. Believe what you want to believe and get on with your life.

#Emison #PLL

12 notes · View notes

astoryofalove · 6 years

Text

“On The Way to a Smile” Official Translations So Far

Since the English translation of the “On The Way to a Smile” novel is about to come out in a two weeks (October 30th), I decided to make a compilation of how LTD significant quotes have been translated in the official French and German and old English versions. This is a pretty large post so it’s going under a read more...

I’m writing this because I know that when the English version drops, no matter what it says, people will be scattering all over the place to see if a certain word, phrase, or sentence was translated the same in the other official versions. To save myself the stress, I just decided to compile all of the LTD quotes now ahead of time.

I own the original English version of the novels and the Japanese of the revised OTWTAS series. I do not own the French or German, so I need help. If you can provide information on either, please include the full quote and a picture of the page (to prove to others).

Thanks for any help you can offer!

Now let’s check out all of the official versions.

***Regarding Cloud’s bedroom***

The Japanese version shows the following:

JAPANESE: (with my translation in parenthesis)

「付き合おうか」話したいことがあった。 (“Can I join you” There was something she wanted to talk about.)

「ひとりで飲みたい」(”I want to drink alone”)

クラウドのその答えにティファは自制心をなくして言ってしまった。(Tifa lost control hearing Cloud’s answer and said,)

「だったら部屋で飲んでよ」(”If that’s so, then drink in your room”; literally: “If that’s so, drink in room.”)

There is no possessive pronoun (e.g. “your”, “our”) in Tifa’s reply, but since Tifa is losing control and getting mad that Cloud turned her down, it wouldn’t make sense for Tifa to tell Cloud to go drink in “their” room. So Tifa is telling Cloud to get out of her face and go somewhere she won’t see him, i.e. his separate bedroom (which he pays for).

That said, the official translations published by Square Enix say the following:

ENGLISH (2005, pg. 67)

“Mind if I join you?” She had things to say. “I wanna drink alone.” Cloud’s response robbed Tifa of her better sense, and the words abruptly came out: “Then drink in YOUR room.”

GERMAN (2011, pg. 76 ):

"Ach ja? Dann geh doch auf dein Zimmer und trink dort weiter!"

= “Oh, really? Then go to YOUR room and continue to drink there!”

FRENCH (2014):

“Alors va boire dans ta chambre”

= ”So go drink in YOUR room.”

So the original English translation from 2005 says “your room”, the 2011 German translation says “your room”, and the 2014 French translation says “your room.” If the revised edition of the novel doesn’t say “your room”, then it’s the wrong translation, not the other three.

CONCLUSION: We have to wait until the revised version comes out later this month, but as of now, yes, Cloud has his own bedroom and he does not share it with Tifa. Odd thing for two people who have supposedly confessed love and “did it” just a few months prior.

***Regarding Tifa’s “Do you love me” question***

JAPANESE:

「わたしのこと、好き？」(”Do you like me”) ~ pg. 71 - 72

She uses “ 好き “ (suki), which can mean “like” in a romantic sense, but she also uses it when she asks Cloud if he “likes” Marlene ( 「ねえ、クラウド。マリンのこと、好き？」). So, technically, she isn’t really asking Cloud if he “loves” her, she’s asking if he “likes” her and Marlene. It’s worth noting that Tifa puts herself on the same level as Marlene in regards to how Cloud feels towards them. Again... Odd for a woman to be scared to ask a man, who supposedly already confessed love to her, if he even “likes” her.

ENGLISH (2005):

“Do you love me” Cloud opened his eyes. He looked perplexed. “Hey, Cloud. Do you love Marlene”

Yes, it uses “love” but it is unclear on whether or not it’s “platonic” or “romantic.” Just as above, it’s weird Tifa doesn’t have the courage to ask Cloud if he “loves” her when CT fans expect us to believe that they confessed love only a few months before this moment.

GERMAN (pg. 77):

Als sie sich eines Nachts davon uberzeugt hattem dass Cloud schlief, fragte sie leise in den Raum: "Zwischen uns stimmt doch alles, oder?"

Naturlich erhelt sie keine Antwort darauf, sie vernahm nur sein leises Atmen. Ob die Tatsache, dass er immer noch Nacht fur Nacht hier schlief, Beweis genug dafur war, dass sie noch eine Familie waren?

"Magst du mich?" Cloud offnete die Augen und sah Tifa verwundert an.

"Sag, Cloud, magst du Marlene?"

"Ja. Aber manchmal weiB ich nicht recht, wie ich auf sie zugehen soll."

"Obwohl du schon so lange mit ihr zusammenlebst?"

"Das alleine reicht wohl nicht aus."

"Und geht es dir bei mir da genauso?"

Cloud blieb ihr die Antwort schuldig."

This is what @minaspassion told me is said in the German version. She elaborated on the word used for “love” and said: “So Tifa is asking, if he likes (="magst", "moegen") her. She is definitively not asking Cloud if he “loves” (="liebst", "lieben") her.“

She continued to say: “ You can consider "moegen" as a synonymous sometimes used for "lieben" (love), since it is a verb that can be used to tell that you care about someone/something. When you read the German version of the quote in context however, you will not get to the idea that it's about love in the romantic sense. If you wanted to express love in a romantic way, then you will use "lieben" in most cases. Even if you would talk about motherly love, you will say "lieben" very often. In everyday language "moegen" is platonic nature. The real point is that we should look at the lines in the overall picture in order to bring the context into effect. Tifa places herself on the same level with Marlene. She is uncertain if Cloud even LIKES her“

Another German fan agreed with Mina’s explanation and said: “ Yes, [I] agree with it. It rarely is romantic but platonic to say "mag/ moegen/ magst" unless the context indicates something different. I can imagine a young girl/boy asking "magst du mich" to be on the safe side, it's still personal and one step closer, but ambiguous enough to not know if they mean moegen as in lieben. If you just ask, magst du mich and later you see your crush flirting with somebody else, you can't be angry with them and say "You told me you like me" "Yes, I do like you. We are friends. Am I not supposed to like my friends?"

So the German version shows Tifa asking Cloud if he “likes” her, not “love” and the word can even be “platonic.” Why is Tifa afraid to know Cloud’s answer if they already confessed love? Makes no sense! Also, Mina said that this implies that Tifa stood in the doorway as she spoke to Cloud. You can see what she said here.

FRENCH (pg. 75):

Ce soir-la, elle se rendit dans la chambre de Cloud. Apres s'etre assuree qu'il dormait bien, elle lui demanda:

- Il n'y a pas de probleme entre nous? Bien sur, elle n'obtint d'autre reponse que la respiration reguliere du jeun homme. “Il pass ses nuits ici, mais cela suffit-il a faire de nous une famille?”

-Tu m'aimes?” Il s'eveilla, la surprise peinte sur le visage.

- Et Marlene, continua Tifa, tu l'aimes? - Oui. Seulement, parfois, je ne sais pas comment me comporter avec elle. -Pourant, tu la connais depuis longtemps. -Peut-etre que je ne saurai jamais comment faire...

@cloudxaerith elaborated on Tifa’s wording and said: “Yes it’s a very childish way to ask it. So I would say it’s definitely more platonic than a serious question. It’s clearly the kind of thing a young child would ask to his/her crush (or even to their parents). If Tifa would have wanted to ask it in [a] more adult way she would have asked “est-ce que tu m'aimes?” Which literally is “do you love me?” (“Tu m'aimes” is literally “you love me?”) “

Another interesting thing is that it says Tifa went into CLOUD’S bedroom.

CONCLUSION: Tifa uses an ambiguous word for “like” or “love” in all versions. It’s clear that Tifa is wondering if Cloud has feelings for her, but she is too scared to know his answer.

*** Regarding Cloud and Aerith’s relationship status***

Although we must wait until the 30th of October to see the English version of this quote, Cloud and Aerith’s relationship has been defined as:

JAPANESE:

クラウドは女の友人であり、恋人であり——大切なものの象徴であり、守るべき存在だった。

( "Cloud was the woman's (Aerith’s) friend, her lover—a symbol of everything precious, and an existence she must protect." )

GERMAN:

“Cloud war ihr Freund, ihr Geliebter—er war ein Sinnbild fuer alles, was ihr wichtig war und es galt, ihn zu beschuetzen.”

FRENCH:

Cloud avait été son ami, et son amant. C'etait un symbole important, et une personne qu'elle se devait de protéger.

CONCLUSION: As of now, Cloud and Aerith have been defined as “lovers” in three different languages. That is an unchanged fact that I pray will stay the same in the English version!

*** Regarding Cloud’s “What I mean is different” line***

ENGLISH (2005)

“This time... I think I’ll be okay.”

Cloud was silent for a long time before he spoke again. “Because I have you.”

“You’ve always had me.”

“I mean from tomorrow on.” Cloud answered with another smile.

JAPANESE (Revised, pg. 56):

「これから始まるんだ。新しい—」クラウドは言葉を探してから「新しい人生」と言った。「俺は生き残ってやる。そうすることでしか許されないと思うんだ。いろいろ、あったから」「そう——だね」「でも、新しい人生のことを考えたのは何度目だろうと思ったら、おかしかった」「どうして？」「おれは全部失敗してるからな」「笑えないよ」「——次は大丈夫だと思うんだ」クラウドは少しの間考えてから続けた。「今度はティファと一緒だから」「ずつと一緒だったじゃない」「少し、意味がちがうんだ」クラウドは再び笑顔で答えた。

GERMAN (page 60-61):

"Diesmal wird aber alles gut."

Nach einer kurzen Denkpause sprach Cloud weiter: "Denn diesmal bist du an meiner Seite, Tifa."

"Ich war immer an deiner Seite."

"Ich meinte das aber ein bisschen anders", erwiderte Cloud und laechelte dabei erneut.

---

"But this time everything will be all right." After a brief pause Cloud continued: "Because this time you're by my side, Tifa." "I was always by your side." "But I meant it a bit differently," Cloud said and smiled again.

Translation by @minaspassion

FRENCH:

— Avant, quand je songeais i changer de vie, ca sonnait faux. —Pourquoi? —Parce que je rate tojours tout! —Ne dis pas n'importe quoi! Cloud reflechis quelques instants avant de reprendre: —Mais cette fois, tu es avec moi : j'ai confiance. —J'ai toujours ete avec toi, non? —Pas de cette maniere, respondit-il, le meme sourire transquille aux levres.

"But this time, you are with me. I have confidence." (/I trust/am confident) "I've always been with you, no?" "Not this way." he replied with the same smile on his lips.

French text provided by @cloudxaerith (post), she said that “The “pas de cette manière” (not in that way) made me more think about the fact they have been together to fight someone but know it’s different. So it’s [literally] different.“ Kura of the Clerith forums also did the English translation for us.

***Regarding Cloud being adopted into the family***

This line is important because it proves that the “family” is not built around romance, but rather friendship. It proves that Tifa still considers Cloud her “friend” rather than “lover.”

JAPANESE (pg. 65 - 66):

夜遅くまで二人の話し声が聞こえていた。朝早く、バレットは出ていった。その背中にマリンが言った。「お手紙ちょうだいね！電話もね！」バレットは義手代わりに機関銃を取り付けた右腕を軽くあげて、振り向かずに歩いていった。戦い以外に生きる道はないという後ろ姿だった。バレットはいったいどんな人生を見つけるのだろう。願わくは戦いから遠ざかること。奪うだけじゃない。与えることができるってことを証明できますように。「ちゃんとここんちの子供になるからね！」マリンのその言葉にクラウドとティファは顔を見合わせた。「ティファとクラウドのことはまかせて！」振り返ったバレットは大声で言った。「しっかりな！」少し声がかすれていた。「家族で力合わせてがんばんだぞ！」罪の意識に押し潰されずに生きるためには仲間が必要だった。たとえそれが同じ傷を持った者同士、同じ罪を背負った者同士であったとしても。慰め合い、励まし合わなければ生きていけない。なるほど、それは家族と呼んでもいいのかもしれない。家族で力を合わせてがんばればいい。家族という仲間と一緒ならどんなことでも乗り越えていけるはずだ。「家族、だね」

「うん!」ティファの睦きにマリンが元気よく答えた。「クラウドも家族に入れてあげるね」「それはありがたいな」マリンの無邪気な申し出に、クラウドは真面目な顔で礼を言ってからティファを見た。ティファは小さくうなずいて見せた。これからもいろいろな問题が起こるのだろう。でも、二人の関係を心配するのはこれで止めよう、とティファは思った。

GERMAN:

I don’t have the text for the German, but I will soon...

FRENCH:

Peut-etre pouvait-on appeler ca une ``famille``. S'ils pouvaient combiner leurs forces, tant mieux. Avec ses camarades pres de soi, rien n'etait insurmontable. - Une famille? murmura Tifa. - Exactement! repliqua Marlene avec enthousiasme. Toi aussi tu peux en faire partie, Cloud! - Je t'en suis reconnaissant, assura le jeune homme avec le plus grand serieux. Il leva les yeux vers Tifa, qui repondit d'un petit hochement de tete. L'avenir leur reservait sans doute leur part d'epreuves. Cependant, elle decida de cesser de s'angoisser a propos de leur relation.

Thanks to @cloudxaerith for the scan. As you can see, Marlene still adopts Cloud into the family that Barret, Tifa, and Marlene started. Tifa still refers to Cloud as her “friend.”

Once again, we must wait until the 30th of this month to know how this part is translated in English.

***Regarding the Case of Barret quote about “their home”***

JAPANESE ( pg. 82)

あの日。運命の日から数ヵ月後。バレットはティファとクラウドの家造りを手伝った後、親友ダインの遺児、マリンを二人に託して旅に出た。

( That day. Several months after that fateful day. After Barret helped Tifa and Cloud build their home, he entrusted his best friend Dyne's orphan to them and began his journey. )

FRENCH:

"Après avoir aidé cloud et tifa à bâtir le nouveau septième ciel"

Translation: "After helping Cloud and Tifa build the new Seventh Heaven"

I am waiting for the German version. But as you can see, the French version (provided by @cloudxaerith) says he helped them build the new Seventh Heaven, which doesn’t disagree with the original Japanese vague wording at all.

***Regarding the Case of Barret quote about Cloud “being with” Tifa***

JAPANESE (Pg. 97)

二人は近況を報告しあった。「マリンはティファに預けた。なついてたからな」「そりゃいい。世界中が賛成するぜ。で、クラウドはティファと一緒なのか？」「おう。ティファは昔みたいに店を開いた。クラウドはそこを手伝ってたんだが、今は自分の商売で忙しいらしい。荷物の配送だとよ」「クラウドが？商売？」「ティファがケツ叩くんだろうよ」「なるほど。結局よ、女なんだよな、強いのはよ」

The two filled each other in on what happened. Barret: "I left Marlene with Tifa because they're so close." Cid: "That's good, the whole world would agree on that. So, is Cloud [there] with Tifa?" Barret: "Yeah, Tifa opened up a new bar, just like before. Cloud was helping out but he's busy with his business now, a delivery service." Cid: "Cloud... has a business?" Barret: "Tifa's getting his ass in shape." Cid: "I see. Women are stronger in the end/women are stronger after all."

GERMAN (page 105):

"Und Cloud? Ist er auch bei Tifa?" "And Cloud? Is he at Tifa's, too?"

"Ich schätze, Tifa hat ihm Feuer unterm Hintern gemacht!" “I guess Tifa’s got him on his ass!”

"Verstehe. Ach ja, das sogenannte schwache Geschlecht ist am Ende doch immer starker.” "I see. Oh, in the end, the so-called weaker sex is always still stronger."

Translation by @minaspassion over at the clerith forums.

FRENCH (Pg. 101-102):

Cid - "Alors est-ce que cloud et tifa sont ensemble ?" “So, are Cloud and Tifa together?”

Barret - "Oui. Elle a ouvert un bar, comme autrefois. Cloud lui donnait un coup de main, mais il a aussi monte son affaire, et il ne doit plus avoir le temps, a present. Il livre des colis."

Cid - Cloud? Livreur?

Barret - Tifa a du lui mettre un bon coup de pied aux fesses.

Cid - Peut-etre. Eb fin de compte, les plus solides, ce sont bien les femmes.

@cloudxaerith had this to say about this scene: “So "être ensemble" could also mean to be together in a place which is logical considering the fact that every member of avalanche are spread out on the world. So cloud and tifa being together at the same place is totally a particular case in the avalanche crew.”

Kura of the Clerith forums had this to say: “ sont ensemble definitely doesn't mean romance by itself. It CAN be used to say people are in a relationship and it CAN be used to say where people are physically. It all depends on the context.”

I BELIEVE that is *every* LTD related quote from the novellas, but if I’m forgetting something then please tell me so I can gather the quotes before the 30th.

Other translations to go over...

The French version says Cloud gives Tifa an “embarrassed smile”, doesn’t say he blushed. I’ll find the German/Japanese equivalent as soon as I can.

Here’s the French translation of Cloud discussing how his problem will never go away because lost lives cannot be retrieved. I’ll find the German/Japanese equivalent as soon as I can.

Thanks for reading, guys!

29 notes · View notes

futurewriter2000 · 6 years

Text

Combatants ~ Part 4

A/N: Yaiaiay! Part 4 is out! WOO! I like wrote this this morning and ended up editing it all day. I am so proud of it and I don’t know why. I still feel like the first two parts are better but this was one is so adorable to me. I think part 5 is going to be more like part 1 and part 2. Plus I had a cold and was really fucked up for the last two days so please… enjoy.

Warning: comma addiction, weird words, FLUFF and my English.

Tags: @nadinissavage, @lexi-thechaosqueen, @grey-raven, @alohomagines, @bestillmystuckyheart, @maddyfitzhenry, @astrophileslytherin, @literally-anythin, @fashionlive15, @hello-fanfiction-goodbye-grades

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

“Oh my god! You suck! ” you laughed at Jack as he had a big mop on his head, pretending to be you from the past. Your hair wasn’t perfect during puberty. Every girl has to get through that phaze of not having perfect hair. But they weren’t that bad either. They didn’t look like a mop.

“Oh really, (y/n)? Because you swallow.” he retorded and continued to dance with the mop.

Your mouth fell on the ground and you took a big gasp. “Jack O'Connell! ” you continued to laugh at him. “You are the worst best friend in the world.”

He ignored you and continued to dance with the mop on his head.Twirling around, dancing the waltz with the broom and mocking you. All of a sudden he dropped himself on the carpet and started doing the snowangles. “I wish I was outside. I could do snowangels in the snow.”

“You are the weirdest person I have ever met in my life.” you laughed, looking at your best friend doing snowangles on the carpet.

“(Y/n)? Can I ask you something?” he asked seriously and stopped with the snowangels.

You threw a popcorn in your mouth and smiled. “Are you becoming all deep and wise now? ” you teased.

“You and Zoey… what is he excatly to you?” he asked all of a sudden and lifted his body on his elbows.

You didn’t expect this question from him. Not right now when everything was going great. Of course you missed Zoey so much right now and you promised to keep him safe. But why on earth would he ask you this kind of question?

But it was Jack. Your best friend, who you trusted with all your heart. “Zoey is my brother. Why?”

“Your brother?” he quirked an eyebrow. He knew that wasn’t true, he knew you were lying to him.

“ Yes. He’s my brother. Well, he’s my foster brother, but I don’t like using that word. We grew up together. He IS my brother, no matter the bloodline.”

“Where is he though?“

“I can’t tell you Jack. All I can say is that he’s safe.” you reasured him.

“But you can tell me. I’m your best friend.” he insisted and scooted over to you.

“Sorry Jack. But it’s safer if only I know where he is.” you finished the conversation, got up, grabbed your books and left the room.

Jack was furious. He promised Collin he will find out where you were hiding Zoey. He promised him he will make sure they get their younger brother back. But you are just the most stubbornest person he has ever met. He NEEDS to know where his brother is and he’s not going to give up that easily.

—

Since that conversation it was really awkward around Jack. He kept trying to let you talk about Zoey and you couldn’t understand why. Why was he mentioning Zoey so much? Its your secret. YOURS. So why is he taking it so personally?

—-

You were staring at the book for what felt like hours. You couldn’t wrap your head around it. Jack is acting so weird. Why? You looked up at the clock and noticed an hour and a half has already passed.

“Shit.” you cursed under your breath and started searching for notes in your books. Out of nowhere your chair rocked backwards and you were facing loving grey eyes.

“Hello darling.” he smiled and continued to look down at you.

“Black.” you smiled back, staring at his gorgeous stormy grey eyes.

He gently rocked the chair back on the ground and leaned forward. His hand was on the book and his head right next to yours. You could smell his dark woods and warming spices cologne and his bracing, minty shampoo just consuming your lungs. It was the smell that graced you every day. Well, almost every day. The two of you became friends. Great friends and man did this guy show it. Every day he would walk over to you at breakfast and ask you what you have planned for today, tell you about his plans or just stare at you eating your cereal/toast or just drink your coffee. During classes, the ones you two had together, he would sit next to you and make the classess far more interesting than usual. With those classes, which the two of you don’t have together, he would simply escort you there and carry your books. He was a real gentleman.

As you saw his bicep tensing up in that tight black shirt of his, made your heart rate go so fast, you thought it was going to jump out of your chest. He noticed your blushing cheeks and grinned. He leaned down to you ear and whispered. “You look stunning today.”

You rolled your eyes and snorted of laughter. “ Honestly Black. You think I’ll fall for that?”

“I don’t know. Have you already?” he asked.

Yes.

“No.” you denied and stood up. “Pick up my books will you. They are not going to carry up themselves.” you ordered and walked away.

He did as you said and walked right behind you. “I love it when you’re bossy.” he said enthusiastically. “But you’re bossy when something is wrong. So? What is bothering you?” he asked dropping the books on the floor and turning all the attention on him.

Honestly, you didn’t care about the books on the floor right now or that he dropped them right in front of you. Your head was a mess from Zoey and Jack and all that has been happening. But could you tell Sirius about it?

You sat on the bench, which stood right in front of Professor’s Binns office. As you sat down you gripped the edge of the bench tighter. “I don’t know if I should tell you..”

“Really? After all we went through and what I told you, you still can’t trust me?”

“It’s this thing with Jack. He’s acting weird and keeps nagging me about something I don’t want to talk about and now I lost my study buddy and the exam is tomorrow and I just spent an hour and a half staring at the blank page of a book.” you babbled out.

He sat next to you and took your hand from the bench. Feeling his warm touch, you lifted your head and looked at him. His eyes were different than before. His pupils were a bit wider and he was wearing a smile you could never figure out. “ How about you come over and I’ll prepare you for your exam tomorrow?” he offered kindly.

“Yeah right.” you scoffed in disbelief. “Sirius Black, tutoring a Ravenclaw. Now that’s a laugh.”

“I am in fact the greatest tutor in this school. You said it yourself. I pass everything flawlessly and don’t need to study.”

“I was pissed at you back then. But you do have a point.”

“Great then. See you after lunch.” he smiled and walked away.

—-

After lunch Sirius walked you to the Gryffindor house. It was your first time there and you were facinated by the Common room. It had armchairs and fireplaces, portrets on the walls smiling and waving at you, then there was this adorable tiny table just sitting in the middle and basically drawing you to it. It was just so-so…so like home.

Sirius noticed your glowing eyes as you scanned every corner of the room. You were smiling and pushing your books harder to your chest because of your excitment. You never were to any of their parties nor have ever been invited here but man you wished you were here sooner.

You looked over to the big, long and old couch at the fireplace and the six teenagers laughing and teasing eachother. James, who was staring at Lilly talking to Marlene and Mary, glanced up when he heard Sirius, but as soon as he saw you standing next to him, he jumped from the couch.

“No Sirius!” he yelled determined.

“(Y/n)! It’s so good to see you! ” shouted Remus from the couch with a big smile on his face.

“Hey Remus!” you waved back.

“Come on Prongs. Can’t you move past the whole nose thing?” groaned Sirius, rolling his eyes at James.

“What nose thing?” asked Lilly curiously, switching her gaze from James, Sirius and you.

“Oh Pads didn’t tell you?” grinned Sirius with an evil look in his eyes.

“Didn’t you hear Evans? It was talking all over school last year.” smiled Remus, glancing up from his book.

Lilly gasped and looked at you. “Wait? You’re the girl who punched him in the nose?” she smiled.

“Guilty as charged.” you smiled back.

“Oh my god. I have been wanting to do that since second year.” she laughed and was later joined by the others.

“Lilly!” yelled James angrly.

“You deserved it James. You know you did.” she giggled.

You turned to Sirius only to see his big bright smile turned to Lilly and James bickering. It was a gorgeous smile that made you feel happy. Not only happy but you felt the butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

Stop.

You’re here to study not to swoon over Sirius Black. You stepped on your tiptoes and put your chin on his shoulder. As he tilted his head towards you, you whispered in his ear. “What about that tutoring you promised me.”

Stepping back on your feet and looking up to his breathtaking smirk he offered you a hand. “Follow me.” he added before you took his hand and let him lead the way up to his dorm.

When you entered the room you were quite surprised by how tidy it is. The beds were made, the clothes were folded and you could actually breathe in there.

“How long did it take you to clean the room?” you smirked at him as he lead you to his bed and threw the books on it.

“About a spell or two.” he replied and threw himself on the bed. “So where should we start?”

“Hold on a minute.” you said and stood up from the bed. “I’m in a dorm of Sirius Black and you expect me not to snoop around?” you grinned and walked over to his nightstand.

“You’re really good at procrastinating you know that, right?” he chuckled and laid on the bed with his hands under his head and his elbows pointing out.

The photos he had taped on the mirror was the first thing that caught your attention. There was one photo on the top left corner of him and Regulus when they were kids. They were on the beach building a castle. Regulus was standing on a bucket with a tiny blue shovel in his hand, while Sirius was standing next to him and smiling at his younger brother.

“Look at baby Sirius and Regulus. ” you jested in awe.

“Hot back then, hot now.” he chuckled, not removing his eyes from the ceiling.

You continued with the photos, going to the next one on the right corner. It was the one with James and Remus. They were all laughing and pointing at the tall linden tree. You looked closer and saw Peter in the background hanging upside down.

“Is that Peter?” you asked, looking closer at the photo.

“Yup. That was taken on his birthday when we decided to prank him a bit.”

“So blue hair and hanging upside down from a tree…that was supposed to be a present?”

“One of the best.” he smiled still not bothering to look away from the ceiling.

After photos and photos of him partying, pushing Remus in the lake, laughing with James and him jumping off the roof, you came to the last photo. It was Sirius with the whole Potter family. You took it from the mirror and looked at it closely. Noticing how James had his arm wrapped around Sirius, both happier that they have ever been, and the Potters smilling down on their two boys made you feel so sad. You didn’t think it will affect you this much but just seeing this perfect happy family reminded you of yours.

“Zoey.” you spoke quietly, letting a tear escape your eye.

Thinking about your past hurt like hell. Once you were this perfect family and now…now everything is gone. Your mom and dad were gone. Zoey is gone. Why did they leave you?

Feeling your chest crumble beneath the fingers of your past, you felt a warm touch on your shoulders, lifting you back up. Without even thinking you turned around and wrapped your arms around Sirius. He gripped you tighter and you continued to cry on his shoulder.

“You want to talk about it?” he spoke in a soft and kind voice.

You barely removed yourself from his embrace, regretting it immediately. As you wiped the tears away from your cheeks, you sat down on his bed.

“We were such a great family. I mean we weren’t perfect, but we weren’t bad either.” you started. “When I was seven, my dad brought home a young boy, three years younger than me. His name was Zoey. My mom said he had a rough life back at his real family and that he will stay with us for some time. After a year my parents were sick of the social worker coming to our house every month, so they decided to adopt him. But they couldn’t. They couldn’t adopt him because his father didn’t want to give up his parenting rights. After a year of trying to adopt Zoey, my dad soon gave up but my mom didn’t. So there was a lot of arguing and fighting. After another year of that, my parents decided to split up. I was ten at the time and they told me they are going to come back soon. But they never did come back. Zoey and I were put in a care of some distant cousin of my dad, Klodvik. He was a terrible man and I tried my best to protect Zoey from him. He always teased Zoey becasue of his name. Becasue Zoey is supposed to be a girls name, not boy’s. But Zoey was just a nickname. It was short for Zebedaiah and imagine Klodvik knowing about that. If he found out it would be even worse. ” you continued with tears rolling down your cheeks but the pain slowly disappearing. “You should have met him. He was the brightest boy of his age. A prankster too.” you smiled as you remembered the boy you grew up with. “He has this dark turquoise hair. He always had them. Not brown, black or blonde, not even ginger. He had dark torquoise hair. His eyes were green. And not just any green either. He had live green color on sunny days and on rainy days his eye color changed into grey-green. "

"What else?” asked Sirius, his hand around your waist pulling you closer to his embrace.

“I loved his humor. The boy laughed to his own jokes sometimes. And the jokes were terrible, but that laugh of his was unforgettable. He was also a short-tempered little boy, still is. It was better not to provoke him or he would unleash the hell on earth. Sometimes he even scared me.” you smiled and leaned your head on Sirius’ shoulder. “He’s my little brother Sirius. And now I don’t even know where he is or how he’s doing."

“Hey. “ he said gently, brushing your tears away. “He’s okay. You said it yourself. He’s the brightest boy of his age. He’s going to get through this, just like his strong sister.”

—-

Since your talk with Sirius everything felt lighter. It was like all those feelings and pain you pushed down, finally emerged and set you free. And the exam went flawlessly and you didn’t even study for it so much. The boy who once pissed you off was now the boy who hepled you get back up. You couldn’t get him out of your head. That smile, his touch, his grey eyes, his cologne,… everything was making you addicted to him. But you couldn’t afford a boyfriend right now. You need to stay focused on your main mission here: Find Zoey.

Deciding if you should talk to Jack about what happened the last time you two spoke, you paced up and down in your room and continue to bite your nails.

“Hey best friend.” you practiced in the mirror but immediately cringed to the sound of that awful line. “Ew. What was that? Hey Jack. I was thinking about yesterday… about what you told me about Zoey…” you started off talking to yourself in the mirror. “That’s about right.” you added before leaving your dorm and walking to the boys dorms.

You knocked on the door and waited. “Come in!”

A tall latino boy with dark dense hair and brown eyes was standing in front of the mirror, combing his hair. “Well, well, well. I see you finally made a move on Tina.” you chuckled and walked next to him.

He turned around and opened his arms. “What do you think?”

You looked at him from head to toe. “Really Bruto? Red shirt and dark green jeans? Where is your usual all-black-like my soul look?”

“Ugh!” he groaned and threw himself on his bed. “Help me (y/n)!” he begged as he continued to roll on his bed. “I tried every combination and I have nothing to wear.” he whined.

“Okay. Let me see your warderobe.” you said and walked over to his closet. You pulled out some black jeans and tight black shirt. “Here.” you turned around and threw them at him.

“Thats so basic.” he vacillated and looked up to you.

“Better looking basic than like a clown.”

He shrugged his shoulders and stood up. “ You’re right.” he agreed and started staring at you. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. What was he waiting for?

“Well?”

“Can you turn around.” he demanded and shooed you away with his hand.

“Oh my god Bruto. What are you? A girl?” you scoffed and turned around.

“I don’t like people staring at me, okay.” he murmured quietly as he continued stripping down those ugly green jeans of his. “What are you doing here anyway?”

“Just meaning to talk with Jack.” you explained and continued to stare at the blank wall.

“Oh he’s coming soon, he just left to take a letter for his brother to the owlery.”

“Brother? Jack doesn’t have a brother.” you denied.

“You can turn around now.” When you turned around, he turned towards the mirror and started fixing his hair. “I don’t know. It’s just a daily thing he does. Writing to his brother.”

You walked over to him and took a comb in your hand. You turned him towards you and started fixing his hair. “Here let me. You are useless.” you added. “So he’s either lying to you or to me?”

“Yeah, but why?” asked Bruto, looking down at you getting him ready.

“I don’t know.” you sighed and turned around for the hairspray. “That’s why we need to talk.”

Bruto and you always had this weird kind of friendship. The two of you met in the first year and became friends right away. He was your best friend for about two years but as soon as he entered puberty, getting hotter than ever, the two of you drifted apart. He became a selfobserved jerk and only hung out with you when he needed something. Of course the two of you went along just fine when you were alone but sometimes he really was a big jerk, that loved to pick on you. Never the less he was also your first kiss. Like I said, weird kind of relationship.

After the last touches on your ex-friend the both of you smiled at eachother and let out a laugh. “ Who would have thought my frenemy would help me get ready for my date?” he chuckled.

“Twirl around princess.” you smiled and as he took a spin you noticed something was missing. “ Now I searched your closet for some leather jackets but I couldn’t find it. I’ll just take one of Jacks and you can return it later.” you added and jumped to Jacks side of the room.

You opened the the closet and searched for his black leather jacket. As you pulled it out, a big pile of letters fell down with it. You knelt down to pick them up but noticed something weird.

That handwriting. You saw it somewhere. You knew to who it belonged to. “Collin.” you mumbled under your breath.

“Is that it?” asked Bruto grabbing the jacket and putting it on. “Woo I look fine.” he boasted as he kept staring at himself in the mirror. “Thank you love. I owe you one.” he added before waltzing out of the room.

You kept staring at the letters. Only one person wrote that kind of the letter G. The G with the two waves on the end. You couldn’t help yourself but to open up the envelope.

‘ Dear brother,

I got your letter even though your owl is as dumb as a peacock and almost threw it into the fire. Seriously, get a new owl.

Anyways, I told you not to ask her questions about Zoey directly. You know that will make her suspicious. If we ever want him back, you need to do more than just “talk”. You are a Cavendish after all. You know how we do.

Now I didn’t like it either doing what I did. I didn’t like taking care of her parents the way I did. But I did it for young Zebadaiah and for us to be a family again.

Do it now or I’ll do it myself.

Collin. ‘

“(y/n)?”

#sirius black #sirius black x reader #sirius black imagine #sirius x reader #james potter imagine #james potter #lilly evans #remus lupin #remus lupin imagine #the marauders #marauders imagine #marauders #marauders era #harry potter imagine

315 notes · View notes

thebestplltheories · 7 years

Text

Pretty Little Liars 7x20 Til Death Do Us Part - Thoughts

I literally just finished watching the finale and A-List Wrap party right now. I have not seen a single comment about the finale, I don't know how it was received, at all. Sorry if these comments are just reinforcing what everyone else has been talking about for the past several hours, because again, I have no idea what everyone is saying. Here are my thoughts!

- It did not feel like a series finale to me and I cannot pinpoint why. I felt the goodbye scene at the end was not strong enough. Sasha said that they had to keep re-filming that scene because she was crying too much when she said “this feels like the end of something” - well, I think they went with the take that had not enough emotion, to the point it felt like a regular line and it lost its power. Not just this line, but in general, I never got a sense of “farewell PLL” from this episode, unfortunately. Not saying it’s a bad episode, but, I didn’t get that sense of “thank you and goodbye Spencer, Hanna, Aria, Emily, Alison and Rosewood”.

- Marlene said that there is one question she cannot wait for fans to find out, but she can’t tell us what this question is without telling us who AD is. What the hell could be this question?

- THEY ALL DID THE SHHHHH TOGETHER, I LOVED THAT

- DID ANYONE ELSE NOTICE DURING THE INTRO THAT THE CASKET OPENED, RATHER THAN CLOSE???

- I’ve always said Pretty Little Liars is a two-part show: half a romance show, other half a mystery show. They really demonstrated that tonight, by having almost a very equal divide between the romance and mystery. The entire first hour was romance, and the entire second hour was mystery (plus farewells). The first hour, I was shaking my head. “This is not good. Not good at all.” Sure, there were some cute scenes, like Emison’s proposal, but there was too much fluff in the first half. The second half, it really kicked off.

- So, my theory ended up being so damn accurate, what the hell! I can't believe it! Even though Spencer’s twin was my foremost suspect going into the finale, I still ended up being shocked, because of the simple fact that they went with it almost exactly exactly exactly how I said! Not just the who, but also the why! I even got the name Alex Drake!

- Okay, so I got the part wrong about the twin having helped Charlotte play the game from season 3 onwards. And honestly, that is my biggest complaint about the finale: AD started playing the game after Charlotte died, period. Again this is my biggest complaint and this is where the finale fell flat for me. Technically, PLL could have ended with Charlotte’s reveal in 610. Everything we got with Alex Drake’s story, was purely an extension because we got renewed for more seasons. I just know there will be people saying “ugh I’m so mad that AD has no connection to pre-time jump” and yes I fully agree, and that’s my biggest complaint too... but my response is: weren't the extra 2 years nice? Sure AD is irrelevant to seasons 1-6A, sure that is incredibly underwhelming and no where near as good as the fan theories... but we got an extra 2 years of PLL in our lives because of this extra, final A story? I’m grateful? #alwayslookingforthepositiveside

- I do not understand Ashley’s comment. Quote “you finally get to find out who A is, who’s been torturing us for the last 7 years”. Girl... it was just a month or two, in Rosewood time.

- Am I the only one who never really felt a sense of danger, or intensity? Weird, since it’s the series finale, and literally anyone could’ve died. It’s not like we had another season, and I knew Spencer was safe from dying. Yet, I never truly did feel like Alex would win the fight. I can't take PLL villains seriously for some unexplainable reason.

- I really liked the flashbacks that explicitly showed us the scenes where “Spencer” was actually Alex. That was great. I wanted more flashbacks to earlier seasons, however. (I did appreciate that they played some music from the pilot, though!)

- THANK YOU MARLENE for not doing another Charlotte reveal where A sits around crying all episode, trying to make us feel sorry for them. Sure, Alex (nearly said Twincer!) had a sad story, but she embraced her sadness, and it fuelled her anger to take over Spencer’s life. That was really good. I loved seeing Troian walk around with an axe. Bless.

- I was surprised we didn’t hear of Radley (as a sanitarium). Honestly, thank god.

- I think the motive is the strongest we’ve ever had, of all the A’s so far: Alex was so jealous of Spencer so she wanted to break up the girls, yet her threats only made them closer. Therefore, she decided, “why break them up, if I can just become Spencer?” That is so evil and I love it.

- I EVEN CALLED IT that there will be a scene where someone holds a gun to Spencer and Twincer, and they have to prove who the real Spencer is. I LOVED that!

- I have a feeling that once I finish typing this, the first word I’ll be seeing people use to describe the motive is cliche. Especially the above mentioned scene about not knowing which Spencer to shoot. It is a bit cliche. (”I’m Buzz Lightyear!” ... “no, I’m Buzz Lightyear!” Toy Story 2.. anyone? That’s where my mind went, lol) An evil, jealous twin is a tad cliche. I can't defend that. But within this world of PLL, it worked well I guess.

- Sorry Troian, I wasn't too convinced by the British accent unfortunately. But my gosh you slayed the rest. WHY COULDN’T WE GET AT LEAST ONE SCENE WITH TROIAN IN THE HOODIE!? That was a real shame. I get that it was set one year later, but... still, Alex should’ve wore the hoodie for a scene or two. For satisfaction’s sake, and it’s also just iconic for PLL.

- SHOUTOUT TO A FOLLOWER OF MINE WHO MESSAGED ME AFTER THE AIRPORT SCENE IN 715 SAYING THAT TWINCER SOUNDED BRITISH. HOW DID YOU GET THAT PART TOO!? “Are you going someplace?” sounded very British, I agree, but I never picked it until I was told to listen for it. Genius.

- We even got it right as to who Wren was shooting: Twincer, so that she can look like Spencer. Gosh, is there anything we didn’t predict?

- Bethany who? Eddie who? Seriously though, I’m going to spend hours editing my unanswered questions list. We got a lot. You can say whatever you want about the finale, but you can't say we didn’t get answers. Like, c’mon. If you’re saying we didn’t get answers, you’re the type of person who complains over nothing and is just impossible to please. Every word that came out of Alex’s mouth was golden. We had rapid fire Q&A with Alex and Spencer. I’m not saying this finale answered 7 years worth of questions; I’ll probably find some unanswered things once I start going through my list. But... You. Can. Not. Say. We. Got. Zero. Answers. I hope that when I finish this post, I don't see people spreading such stupid negativity.

- Wren died? How? Why? That was unnecessary. This finale really lacked a major death. I wanted to say OMG to at least ONE thing, and unfortunately, I couldn't. Not one thing shocked me.

- Am I the only one who thought Wren’s involvement seemed a bit forced?? What are the actual odds of Wren running into Alex at a bar in London? Seriously? But whatever. I’m so glad he played a role in this, and a damn big one too.

- So ALEX was the British person Mary was talking to on the phone in 701!!!

- I loved the scene between Alex and Charlotte!!

- I found it really really random that Alex started messaging Mona 1 year later. They had just moved on and all of a sudden Alex is back to start to reveal herself. Maybe I’m forgetting something because that was just weird.

- I was disappointed that there wasn't a major reason Alex took Ezra. I was waiting for them to reveal a mind blowing alliance between the two but then it slowly became obvious that he had just been kidnapped and wasn’t on the friendly side with Alex.

- Melissa’s mask was just pointless. That was pure fan service to MelissA theorists. (And also to throw us off for a bit.) And I knew Melissa wasn’t AD since there’s no way they’d reveal Uber A so randomly at a picnic like that. I knew it was a mask.

- I got dollhouse vibes when Spencer (or Ezra?) said “we’re still underground”. I thought that was creepy!

- Seriously... they make reference to the mums getting out of the basement, without actually giving us an answer??? “Do you remember how we even got out of there?” said Veronica. It would’ve been better to leave that dialogue out completely. Teasing fans over something they’ll never get, is far worse than acting like it was just forgotten.

- Did Veronica know that Spencer has a twin, since she made a comment in 4B about not knowing who is coming down for breakfast; Spencer or her evil twin? They really made it out as if no one knew about Alex.

- Wren is the father of Emison’s baby!? That was so subtle, the way Alex said it. WHY!? That makes no sense. I’ve noticed that this show is really big on “who” but not so big on the “why”. I’m just going to assume that Wren was the only male she had “access” to, to pull off the stunt, so she used Wren simply out of convenience. That’s all I can think of.

- So Ezria got married, Haleb is having a baby, Emison is engaged with twins, and Spoby is??? I was really really shocked actually that one ship is still left up in the air. It’s not a sad ending, but it’s not happy either. Maybe that’s the one thing that doesn’t get answered that Marlene was talking about.

- That last scene with the recreation of ‘that night’ should NOT have been the last scene of the entire show. If Freeform wants to launch a spinoff, fine, go ahead, but how dare you cut to the end credits after that scene. Call me fussy, but I call it passion. The final scene of the show should have been Mary and Alex stuck in Mona’s dollhouse. Cut to the credits after that closeup on Alex (Which, was brilliant by the way, and aligns with Janel’s comment of Mona having her own unique happy ending.)

- The wrap party was boring. Just saying. It should’ve been the 6 liars (yes Mona too) with Marlene, sitting in Spencer’s barn, talking about the making of the finale, any questions that couldn't get wrapped up, favourite episodes, etc. I finished the finale and thought “it’s okay, I still have one more chance to farewell the show since the last scene didn’t do it for me!” and nope, this third hour was no better.

- FULL CIRCLE HOW??? Can someone name one thing that happened, that can be classified as “full circle”??? In my mind, full circle means Alison dying and the girls having a sleepover in the barn!?

- Overall, this is how I summarise the finale:

It did not feel like a finale. The first half was boring, even for a series finale. The goodbyes were not strong enough, and I did not feel like I properly said “thank you” and “farewell” to my favourite fictional characters ever. The scene with the girls at the end was far too short. The AD reveal was very predictable for me and other dedicated detectives, but I think other fans across the world will be pleased since it wasn’t actually that obvious. The motive was great. Troian slayed. But, coming from a person who also has a non-rhotic accent (Australian), I felt put off by Alex’s accent. The final scene was just stupid, I’m not watching a spinoff - the final scene should’ve been Mary and Alex. We got a shit ton of answers, but, as I’ll soon see when I go to my list, I don't feel like it was everything. But absolutely, most things, yes.

In 3 words: slow, predictable, fun.

Here’s my theory where I correctly solved Alex Drake

Here’s my farewell letter

#PLL #PLL 7x20 #PLL series finale #Pretty Little Liars

352 notes · View notes

hemsworths-chris · 7 years

Text

do you wanna be a member?

JILY CHALLENGE | @howlingremus vs @queensaphrodite lonely hearts club (marina and the diamonds) + muggle librarian!au

for my amazing partner, @queensaphrodite! and for elena (@meraudurs) and nai (@hiddenpolkadots), for inspiring me to write and create (and for helping me edit this <3)

The library closes far too early, in her opinion. Sure, it closes at eight, and sure, maybe she ought to try just showing up earlier, but in her defense, it isn’t solely her fault. She only gets off work at five, and there are just so many books to read. How are three hours anywhere near enough?

She frequents the place almost every day, knows it like the back of her hand. But there’s something off about it today. Maybe it’s the fact that the historical fiction section switched places with the biography section, but that was last week.

Lily grabs her books and walks up to the counter to ask Peggy whether or not there’s a copy of Everything, Everything available and oh shit that’s what’s different.

There’s a different librarian - a bloke - at the desk, with hair too messy to be legal, glasses too outdated to be unintentionally bought, and a shirt too wrinkled to ever have come in contact with an iron. He’s the kind of fellow who’d be perfect as the main character as one of the books Lily wants to check out - maybe a Peter Pan or a Percy Jackson kind of fellow.

Lily blinks.

Well, fuck.

He looks up from fiddling with the cuffs of his button-down, meets her gaze for a moment, and cocks an eyebrow.

“You’re the first person under forty I’ve seen so far.” His voice almost seems to echo, and it’s much louder than most librarians tend to be.

Lily can’t even tell if he’s being dense or just kind of cocky, but she’ll place her bet on the latter. It’s clear as day in the way he holds himself - self-assured, unashamed, even a bit arrogant but still good-natured.

She crosses her arms. “That’s not true, and you know it. You’re literally right next to the freaking children’s section.”

The bloke laughs, a sound almost out of place in this quiet library. She owes herself twenty dollars.

“Check and mate, I guess. But then again, it’s not like I can really see them.” He taps his glasses with a ridiculously long finger. “They’re getting smaller every day, I swear.”

Lily even smiles at that for a second, before stuffing it back where it came from. This arrogant, loud-mouthed (they’re in a fucking library, has he no sense of volume?), far-too-handsome idiot has no place in this library of hers.

(All the same, she wouldn’t mind reading about someone like him.)

“Yeah, sure” she says, quickly, trying to get to the point. “Listen, do you guys have another copy of Everything, Everything?”

He shrugs. “Hell if I know.”

Lily is done with this bloke. She makes her way around the desk to where he’s sitting, pushes away his chair (“Oi, what d’ya think you’re doing?” but he doesn’t sound particularly annoyed, just curious), opens up the catalog page on the monitor in front of him (the first thing she sees when she opens it up is a March Madness bracket - she now kind-of-sort-of-really wants to punch the guy), and soundlessly types in the words Everything, Everything.

No more copies available, but there’s one currently on hold. And it’s not hers. Damnit.

The guy standing behind her takes a look at her screen, and she can hear him let out a breath. “Oh, shit, that book? Isn’t that the one with like the mysterious guy and the girl who’s supposed to be sick but - “

Lily hastily shoves out her hand, as if to slap it over his rambling mouth. “No spoilers!” she all but yells. And she realizes that she’s being such a hypocrite right now, so she adds, a little bit more quietly, “Please.”

The bloke smirks, like he knows exactly what she’s thinking. “Alright, then.” He peers over at the screen once more, and Lily presses the power button. She gets up, and moves over to the side of the desk that she ought to be on.

“Well,” she says curtly, trying not to smile (for some reason) at this endearing annoying stranger. “Thanks.”

He grins at her. “Don’t mention it.”

Suddenly, something occurs to Lily. “Hold on,” she says slowly. “You’ve read this book?”

For some reason, the bloke turns red. “Er - um, no? I got it for my friend…Marlene? And like I read the summary on the back -”

Lily smirks. “Liar. You’ve totally read it.”

If possible, he turns even redder - it’s quite a funny sight. “I was bored, alright? And it was lying around - I really had bought it for Marlene - and I…may have skimmed it?”

Lily laughs and tucks a strand of red hair behind her ear. “Why are you acting so defensive? It’s just a book, relax.”

“Well, it’s not as good as the Percy Jackson series.” Besides the point, but Lily can’t deny that it’s true.

“Fair,” she admits.

She notices a watch on his hand (it looks extraordinarily beat-up, made of old leather and a face of cracked glass), and checks the time. Crap, the library closes in a few minutes. “I really should be going,” she says, making sure she has all the books she wants before turning around.

(She’s not sure if she’s imagining it, but the librarian’s face seems to fall slightly.)

Just as Lily’s about to head back, she hears a quiet “Wait.” She turns around.

“What is it?”

“Er.” The librarian looks…pretty sheepish, and he rubs the back of his neck. “What - what does it say on your shirt?”

Lily almost rolls her eyes, and she pulls back the cardigan she’s wearing.

“I left my heart in a book,” the guy reads. He looks back up at her.

“Is that, like, for a book club or something?”

Lily stares at him in confusion. “Sorry?”

“The shirt - you must’ve got it from some sort of club.”

“I…got it from Macy’s? So no, not a book club.”

He looks quizzically at her. “You know, you should probably make that shirt a book club, then.”

Lily raises an eyebrow. “For hearts in books?”

“Yeah, something like that. Like, aggressive bibliophiles or something.”

She perches herself on the desk, her legs starting to get tired of standing, and almost ends up knocking over a stapler. “Who’d join?”

“I would.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, and I’d grab some friends, too. Get some drinks, maybe some fries, and master the art of abandoning our poor, forsaken hearts in some dusty old books.”

Lily actually lets out a laugh. “I - don’t think that’s what it means.”

“But wouldn’t that be more dramatic?”

Come to think of it, it would be. Lily tries to envision it, but the only thing that really comes to mind is some sort of cult with an obsession for Bram Stoker and Mary Shelley. And they, of course, take their fries with a small cup of blood.

Anyways. She shrugs, and gets off the desk. “You do have a flair for the dramatics, then. Say, who the hell are you?”

His hands fly up to his hair - for what, to make it even messier? - and ends up almost knocking his glasses off the bridge of his nose.

“Stop giggling, bloody hell. And it’s James.”

Against her better judgement (sod it all, rational thought), she reaches over and pushes up his glasses. His hazel eyes follow her fingers, and he looks a little bit cross-eyed. It’s all a little bit sweet.

“James, is it? Well, I’m Lily, founder of the Hearts in Books Club.” The bloke - James, now - snorts at that, only causing to Lily to giggle even more.

James looks down at his watch . “I think the library closes right about now, you’d best be off.”

Lily swears under her breath, and James raises an eyebrow.

“Now, what was that?” The accent he’s putting on sounds a bit like some old-fashioned English professor, which kind of goes with the button-down, but not with the hair. “You do know you’re near the children’s section, next to so many impressionable young minds - you wouldn’t want to give them the wrong idea -”

“Oh, sod off,” she says, but not before glancing over to see if there’s anyone under the age of ten watching them. She checks to see if she still has all her books, and actually turns to leave.

“See you, Jimmy.” She smirks.

“OI, WATCH IT!”

Once she turns the corner, she can’t stop smiling. And even once she gets home and picks up her books and tries to - tries to lose her heart in them, damnit, she can’t stop thinking of James and the Hearts in Books Club and that damn hair.

Fuck, she thinks.

Lily returns to the library the next day, of course - she needs to pick up the sequel to Six of Crows, the novel she just finished.

(And she may or may not want to see if James is there.)

(He isn’t. Peggy is back, and though she loves Peggy, she’s a bit disappointed.)

(What is wrong with me, she thinks.)

After finding Crooked Kingdom, finally, she traipses over to the holds section. As far as she remembers, she doesn’t have anything on hold, but it’s always good to check.

There’s a book in her slot.

Furrowing her brows, she reaches up (and, quite embarrassingly, has to get up her tippy-toes; damn her lack of height), and grabs it. It’s hardcover, feels pretty new, and strangely enough, it doesn’t have that clear library binding around it.

The cover reads Everything, Everything. It’s the book she wanted yesterday - the one that the library shouldn’t have an available copy of. Confused, Lily opens the front cover, and the first thing she sees is a little note on a yellow Post-It, scribbled in Sharpie.

Lily,

Can this be the first book of the Hearts in Books Club?

See you Thursdays and Tuesdays.

- James.

There’s a little smiley face doodled next to her name, and Lily feels a strange, swooping feeling that she normally only feels at the end of a really good book.

And oh, fuck, she can’t stop grinning.

(But maybe, when she gets home, it’s something more than the book itself - something having to do with the note on the inside front cover - that prompts her to read it over and over again).

(Maybe. Just maybe).

424 notes · View notes

forcri · 6 years

Text

'They just wanted to silence her': the dark side of gay stan culture

For gay men, ‘stanning’ – being a super fan of – female pop stars can be a valuable part of your identity. But too often this fandom lapses into misogyny and body shaming

Ahead of Britney Spears’ record-breaking show at Brighton Pridethis year, Aaron Hussey noticed a fellow fan wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with a picture of Spears’ nervous breakdown: the 2007 incident when, head shaved, she attacked a photographer’s car with an umbrella. “I think he thought he was being funny,” Hussey says. “He wasn’t.”

“Brightney Pride”, as it has affectionately been nicknamed, was one of the biggest events of the gay calendar – so big that 4,000 revellers were left stranded once the city’s heaving public transport system failed under the pressure. Surely only dedicated Spears “stans” – the most dedicated kind of fan, a portmanteau of “fan” and “stalker” taken from Eminem’s hit about a crazed follower – would have braved these conditions to glimpse their idol. So why the cruel taunt?

Gay male culture has always coalesced around female pop stars, from Judy Garland to Lady Gaga and Ariana Grande. Academics and critics have puzzled over the source of this connection, their often misplaced theories ranging from the outlandish to the oedipal. But gay men and the women they worship are usually happy to bask in the mutual affection. This year, Spears was honoured with an award by the US’s Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (Glaad) for promoting equality. She responded by saying the gay community had shown her “unconditional love”.

But “unconditional” is often precisely what this love is not. Scratch lightly at the surface and what flakes off is, yes, reciprocity and genuine affection, but also callous misogyny.

One theory of the gay fan-diva link is that of shared oppression – gay men and women are both ground under the wheel of hetero-patriarchy. Perhaps in that model, the Spears T-shirt could be read as a show of solidarity, a knowing acknowledgment of her pain and our understanding? But there was nothing knowing in the way another gay fan photoshopped an umbrella into his meet and greet photo with the unwitting star and later circulated it online. These actions have a distinct edge of mockery, the air of a joke that their subject is not in on.

Dr Michael Bronski, a Harvard University professor and the author of books on queer history and gay culture says “There is a long history of gay male fan culture latching onto famous women and then turning on them. Queens would come to a Judy Garland concert and then scream at her when she was too drunk to finish it. The women have changed – it’s no longer Marlene Dietrich and Judy Garland. But the dynamic remains in western culture.”

The love-hate dynamic of gay stan culture that Bronski describes is now largely mediated through social media. Heckling in smoky nightclubs has been replaced by “hate memes”, when stans circulate unflattering edited pictures or examples of a star’s least-becoming behaviour, while the cheering has morphed into a lexicon of superlatives and put-downs that may seem impenetrable to the uninitiated: “we stan” favoured female pop stars, they’re “iconic”, a “kween”, an “unproblematic fave”. “She outsold” describes both someone’s commercial successes and a general sense of their superiority. Anyone who fails to meet those standards? “Fat”, “flop”, “failure”.

This online community relies on a dense matrix of references and neologisms informed by everything from drag culture to reality TV. Sami Baker is 21 and a self-professed gay stan – his favourites are Grande, Beyoncé and Charli XCX. He explains that the culture reaches further than many beyond the community might realise, citing the example of the recent avalanche of memes of reality star Gemma Collins. “They originated from gay stan Twitter. The language used within this culture is taken from the same place that Drag Race gets its lexicon, namely the underground subculture where LGBT people compete in various drag and performance categories, documented in the film Paris is Burning, and an inspiration for Madonna and Beyoncé.

For many gay men, Baker and myself included, gay pop stan culture is the distillation of everything meaningful in life. That statement reeks of camp melodrama, but it’s true. To my teenage self, women like Lady Gaga were the only light in a world where my queerness left me feeling like an outsider. As I grew up, the process of connecting my love for them with a wider culture of fandom enhanced my realisation that I was not alone as a queer person. “As I learned more about pop culture and references, that’s when I found people with the same interest,” says Baker. “These same people became my friends, my support network.”

It is hard to overestimate how meaningful the fan-diva relationship is for gay men. What is so perplexing is why this pseudo-religious devotion has always been laced with spite. Earlier this year, pop singer Hayley Kiyoko criticised Rita Ora, Cardi B, Bebe Rexha, and Charli XCX for their single Girls, a song about bisexuality that she, as a lesbian, thought was appropriative. Within hours, stan Twitter had unearthed and circulated incriminating tweets by Kiyoko from nine years ago (when she was 18) in an attempt to “cancel” her – excluding a person entirely from online discourse, except as the target of hate memes – for daring to critique a song they liked.

For Adam Byrne, a 23-year-old gay stan, this was a prime example of gay misogyny: “They didn’t care what she had to say. They just wanted to silence her.”

For him, this behaviour typifies gay stan culture: female artists must obey the rules or suffer the consequences. “A sinister side emerges when their ‘fave’ isn’t giving them exactly what they want,” Byrne explains. “Often jokes made at their expense are said in fun but it’s grim to see the joy [the community] sometimes takes in seeing these women fail: ‘She’s over!’, ‘Flop!’ ‘This era is dead!’ Look at the smug tweets about Nadine Coyle cancelling her tour; the way Katy Perry became gay Twitter’s punching bag.”

Baker says: “I’ve seen stan Twitter make jokes about the Manchester attacks, Demi Lovato’s recent overdose, Beyoncé’s skin tone, Noah Cyrus’s appearance.”

Much has been written about the “queer art of failure” – how queer people are always viewed as failures by heteronormative society, and thus must make a success of their own non-conformity. Perhaps, in this context, it’s unsurprising that gay men seem to revel in the perceived setbacks and shortcomings of their stanned subjects. But the sympathy one might expect to accompany this identification seems absent. The behaviour is less like a playful poke in the ribs, and more like a slap in the face.

Just last week, singer Marina Diamandis – an idol of the gay community – tweeted back to a fan who is part of the gay stan community after he sent her an abusive tweet. “There is a fan culture of degrading people online that I’m really not into. I haven’t been on social media a lot the past 3 months because I suffer from depression and the negative comments really affect me,” Diamandis posted. “Marina omg please don’t take it the wrong way I’m a stan and this was just intended as a harmless joke,” the fan protested. As Diamandis herself pointed out, stan culture can fail to grant humanity to the subjects of their worship.

I think they are real fans. But there is a fan culture of degrading people online that I'm really not into. I haven't been on social media a lot the past 3 months because I suffer from depression and the negative comments really affect me.

Even when gay men aren’t raining outright abuse on these women, their praise can sometimes reveal different forms of misogyny. One recent trend is to laud women by hailing them as “skinny” or a “skinny legend” – a trope that took off with a meme about Mariah Carey. Though it is used figuratively to imply flawlessness, it is revealing that a word historically used to police female physicality has naturally evolved in the gay male vernacular. Can it be anything other than chauvinist body-shaming?

Indeed, “skinniness” is just one of many hyper-feminine traits that gay men seem to prize in our stanned women. Helen Moynihan, 23, is a self-identifying queer woman who says the stanning of Ariana Grandeexemplifies precisely what is problematic about gay male idolatry. “Often I think gay men only see beauty in hyper-feminine, not butch, women,” she says. “It made me laugh when Grande was called a queer icon because she is the least queer person to me: someone who’s always trying to escape hyper-femininity.”

Grande’s blinding highlighter, swinging ponytail and heels are ubiquitous hallmarks of the gay stan hall of fame. Buzzcuts and Doc Martens are few and far between. It’s conditional love again – do we only stan the “right” type of women? Other forms of gay culture are similarly plagued by this insidious heteronormativity – men on dating apps like Grindr use refrains like “masc4masc” to praise masculinity and shun femininity in other men.

It’s important to remember that gay male culture exists at the confluence of many social currents, including wider male misogyny and societal homophobia. It is easy to apportion blame to gay men who are merely trying to find escapism and belonging, and to scapegoat behaviour that is universal. “In our culture of binary, heterosexual dysfunction, men hate women,” says Bronski. “It just so happens that some of them are gay.”

This is an important qualifier. Stanning itself is not exclusively homosexual territory – Eminem, the originator of “stan”, is hardly a queer icon. Dr Lynn Zubernis is a professor at West Chester University in Pennsylvania and an expert in fandom. She says the bullying behaviours found in gay stan culture are common to all fandoms.

“Because the object of a fan’s adoration becomes very important to the fan’s happiness, when there is some sort of disappointment, that brings a strong – and sometimes problematic – response. That is the dynamic behind the ‘mood swings’ you see in fandom, where fans love something one day and turn on it the next. It’s not about misogyny. It cuts across gender, sexuality, type of fandom, even time. Sports fans sometimes turn on star players in the same way. I don’t think it’s a male-female thing or a gay-straight thing. I think it’s a human thing.”

However, not all fandoms operate with the same power dynamics. In football, the vitriol Dr Zubernis uses for comparison takes on a new dimension when it intersects with racism. In gay stan culture, gender does not just occasionally intersect with online hatred – it defines the landscape. The abuse and objectification of these women is distinctly gendered – any man, gay or straight, tweeting “fat!” at a woman is unarguably misogynistic.

Gay men and pop’s women alike benefit from the mutuality of their “special relationship”. Spears is unlikely to have noticed one nasty T-shirt through the love heaped on her that day. But with gay male misogyny being discussed more widely than ever, in terms of our nightlife, queer spaces, and social movements, what does it say when this relationship is often so heartless? What kind of permissiveness are we helping to cultivate around misogyny? Deep down, do we really know what it means to love these women?

0 notes