Hey gamers, this is my first actual post here.

First things first, terfs, nazis, homophobes, racists, you and your lot can and should fuck off. No sissy blogs either, that's not for me.

Minors should maybe not be here either if only for the odd NSFW post, so here's your warning.

Bit of a length warning I suppose? I ramble a bit, but it's my pinned so I guess now's the time.

As my blurb says and avatar implies, I'm a 20 year-old transfem, working with she/her pronouns currently. I'm generally kind of hesitant to really talk about myself to strangers or to even say something in the first place, even when it's just to the void like I have been since I started here about a month and a half ago. You may recall my mentioning that this is my first actual post, or have noticed that I've only tagged like, 2 of my reblogs at time of writing. I'm trying to get out there a bit more which is why I'm even making this, but if I take some time to reply to a pm or whatever, know that there's this on top of anything irl. Also I have a tendency to write in a way as though I were actually talking, so apologies for any overuse of commas or really long sentences. Trying to be mindful of this way of writing myself though.

Should say that whatever eldritch critter lords over us all gave me the delightful combo of being able to remember a bunch of absolutely bizarre and incredibly niche things about whatever while also forgetting it all when it miraculously becomes useful. You may be familiar with the "Spirit of the Staircase?" Gamer, you're looking at her. I mention this to say that despite the length of some of the later parts, they're still not exhaustive.

I've also got into the habit of referring to people as gamers because it has that wonderful combo of being both gender-neutral and oddly funny to me. Not in a demeaning way, my sense of humor has just kind of veered into nonsense.

On that note, I should also mention that I myself have committed a cardinal sin and am indeed, a gamer. Platforms I'm on are Playstation and Switch. PC gaming is unfortunately out of my purview currently. I prefer PvE generally but also don't mind pwning some children if the vibes are there. Hope you have your bingo card ready because yes, Celeste is my favorite game. I have WAY too much time into Warframe and I like Dead by Daylight, Deep Rock Galactic, Risk of Rain 2/Returns, and Slay the Spire quite a bit. Tragically I've been a gamer for a while, so I'm just naming a few of my main ones right now while totally not ignoring a sizeable backlog, no sirree!

Music is also a bit of a vibes thing. Generally more of a fan of less intense songs, which may be an odd thing to follow up on by saying prog rock's also pretty cool. Longer a song is, the better is my usual take. City pop's also superb, language barrier be damned. Vaporwave's awesome. Born and raised on the rock of the 70's and 80's with parents that rarely listened to anything after Kurt Cobain rose to power for most of my younger years, so a good chunk of that has worked its way into my playlist. Video game music has a tendency to be wonderful to my ears as well. Solar Ash, both Risk of Rains (although yes, I lean towards the second + DLC here), Night in the Woods, songs from several of the Persona series (Layer Cake, Beneath the Mask - Rain and both versions of Specialist, oh my!), a few from Warframe and of course, the titular Celeste. Lena really is just something else, and I think I can say with some confidence that Quiet and Falling is just my favorite song generally. It does have some competition, so in no particular order I'll rattle some off: Anri's Shyness Boy, Depeche Mode's Enjoy the Silence (primarily the Hands and Feet Mix version), Hall and Oates' Out of Touch, Mac Demarco's Freaking out the Neighborhood, ABBA's Dancing Queen, Yoko Takahashi's The Cruel Angel's Thesis, Prince's Little Red Corvette, Kensuke Ushio's Crybaby, Jane Pop's Drive to 1980 Love, Shakatak's Bitch to the Boys, Komm Susser Todd from End of Evangelion, Mystical Composer by Momoko Kikuchi, Love don't come Easy by The New Jersey Connection, Once in a Lullaby by Chris Christodoulou, No Tengo Dinero - Maxi by Righeira, Seaside by Dan Mason, In your Eyes by Peter Gabriel, Dinner is not over by Jack Stauber's Micropop, Dress Down by Kaoru Akimoto, Radio Ga-Ga by Queen, Under Pressure by Queen and David Bowie, and this list is getting kind of long, huh? God, music is just so freakin' awesome. Truly, one of my biggest regrets will be that I didn't hear enough of it. Band-wise, I'll mention I quite like Steely Dan, Tally Hall, 1986 Omega Tribe, Car Seat Headrest, The Comet is Coming (loving Hyper-Dimensional Expansion Beam right now), Dan Mason, Mitch Murder, Desired, Nyarons, Seycara Orchestral, Shakatak, Ibrahim, OSC, Both Jack Stauber and his Micropop, Prince, Queen, Junko Ohashi, Anri, Meatloaf, Gorillaz, Night Tempo, City Girl, Yes, PKCH, Chris Christodoulou, Cape Coral, Tupperwave, Oresama, Weird Al (EBAY in particular will forever take up some of my brain space at any given moment) and good ol' Lena Raine. While we're here, I guess the one album I'll mention is Jeff Wayne's Musical Version of the War of the Worlds. Make sure it's the original though, some of the songs were revamped in recent years and personally I'm not partial to that rendition of them.

If you inferred that I might like some anime given the above section has quite a few Japanese artists then yes, your intuition was correct. I have fallen off of it recently, but stuff like Neon Genesis Evangelion, Cowboy Bebop, JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, Mob Psycho, and My Life With Monster Girls are some that I enjoy.

Romantically, I'd say I'm into women. We're entering kind of weird territory for me here though because while I would quite like a romantic partner and someone to cuddle with, I'm kind of not so sure how keen I am on any actual sex? Half of me wonders if I'm just asexual while the other half wonders if it might actually be a case of finding the proper someone. I don't know, it's very much uncharted territory for me and I'm not sure where I'll end up on it. Also the whole "finally accepting that I'm trans" thing probably has its influence somewhere in there.

Politically, just give people stuff. Meet their basic needs, implement a UBI, make it so that every grandparent has a bottomless jar of sweets for the wee ones. Public transport good, cars bad, Golf is actively terrible in multiple ways. Chuck bricks at cops, detonate an oil rig (in Minecraft, I guess), eat the rich, the usual. Ideally, mix the three. Abortions and contraception are healthcare, and alongside education all should be free. Kill the cop in your head, both in the sense that if you saw someone shoplift, no you didn't and that you don't have to impose yourself on people just having some earnest, unconventional fun. These are some of my viewpoints, but I'm hesitant to try and pin myself down with a specific position due to a lack of having really read well, any greater political works, still needing to flatten some views I've kind of just had seep into me from the greater culture ("But is x really the proper thing" is tragically a constant, but I've needed to quash the Devil's Advocate voice in my head for years at this point. The little bastard never truly seems to leave. Yeah, having a little gremlin constantly try and check my thoughts can be handy now and then, but it gets really annoying when I think about topics like how the death penalty shouldn't be a thing because like, what are you doing here you idiot? Don't let your personal misgivings with a person allow for executions), and honestly a little because I need to try and be firmer as a person. I put a lot more stock into the thoughts of others than my own, and sometimes it's tough to remember that me and my thoughts also have value, whatever that looks like. Is that the best thing to just type aloud? Also don't hit your kids, regardless of circumstance.

Uhhh got to say I'm blanking a bit on what else to put in. Closing remarks now I suppose. Life is fucking awesome, and I mean that to apply to most-every instance of it. We're all just here on our queer little blogs having a time with one another, and isn't that wonderful? The past 5 years or so have been terrible mentally for me with a few really bad months in particular this year, but I finally feel like I'm on the up-and-up. Accepting that I'm trans after repressing it for a while, finally cutting off a bad friend (hopefully for good), working on getting HRT. With any luck, I'll have some patches in my hands next Friday, the 15th of September. That's huge for me, not only in the obvious sense but because my brain somehow twisted itself into thinking that I can't take this whole topic seriously outside of hair growth and shaving facial hair until I actually get some form of HRT into my hands, AND IT'S HAPPENING! AAAAHHH!!! I'm moving into the next chapter of my life after being kind of stagnant for a while, and I've had such a wonderful vigor these past few weeks that I haven't known in ages. I've really embraced an appreciation of what others might consider mundane, and just trying to be a bit goofy. Letting things roll off of me, even if the anxiety tends to really weaken my legs and make me nauseous. I stay silly. The horrors may persist, but so do I. So do you. How lovely.

Also,

lostinthebookwithstitch.jpg

this is all I can muster right now, too busy having my brain absolutely melted by the September schedule, what is happening

I made a prompt some time ago and my brain couldn't let it go so I want to write an actual fic about it. But I need your help to do it.

You can find the prompt I'm talking about here. To summarize it quickly because I know it ended up kind of long. Dani was traveling around the USA and met/befriended some people, heroes and villains include. And then she left to see another place. It wouldn't be a problem if before she left, she said goodbye. She didn't so now they she got kidnapped and are panicing.

I have some ideas, some serious chaos I mentioned (about 2500 words and counting) or super serious chaos if things'll go properly, who knows, some Dani hangs out with Duke during his patrols and is low key his sidekick (5500 words and counting, everything on paper because why not?), both in much different places on a timeline, untouched but thought about idea for Dani and Conner clone budding AND one bit for when she met Flashfam and one when she asked Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy for autographs for Jazz and Sam.

But here is a thing. All I know about DC is from dpxdc tag and some fics on AO3. Also from dpxdc of course. So it means I don't know a jack shit about people outside of Batfam.

So, what I'm asking for is, if you have ideas who else Dani could mess with or/and links to fanfics with your favorite characterizations or character analysis here or on AO3, any way of communication you are comfortable with is open, please send it (maybe not in actual mail that would be both creepy and unreasonably expensive)

I can't exactly watch movies/cartoons because I fear my computer wouldn't survive that (I had a moment of black screen two times in the last twenty minutes and three more temporary freezes, how is this thing still running, and how it became my most reliable internet connection device?)

Anyway, send the links I beg you

How is it that you can write what is essentially character introspection about emotional manipulation and people automatically read it as you treating the character like a child/a woman "with no agency"? Literally, genuinely, how? Please, I would like to know where the hiccup in my wording was so I can avoid this complete misinterpretation in future posts. I cannot comprehend.

tagged by @neosatsuma to post the songs I currently have on repeat! I also don't play much music, at least not this past year, lol, but here's what I've been dabbling in:

Born to Shiver by @lichfucker

Eight by Sleeping at Last

Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy

For Good from the Wicked soundtrack

We Have It All by Pim Stones

tagging @granturn , @jaynovz , @etoilesombre , @johnsilvers if you feel like it

i honestly dont like what totk has done to me in the sense that i cant go back to playing mostly botw bc ill miss on the gameplay that i absolutely loved in totk but i want to for the story . but i cant play totk anymore either bc i really just didnt like the story BUT the gameplay-

And you may ask yourself, "why do I even fucking bother"

I think getting a hysterectomy would either help with my migraine issues or just give me different problems but I wont be able to know until next year minimum and even then I dont know if I can do a second surgery so soon. the way that birth control just utterly and completely fucks you over when youre starting it, when youre on it, and when youre getting off it is so. Idk if its even worth it to change my birth control if Im gonna get a hystrectomy in the vague soonish future even if I feel like absolute dogshit for an entire month for 1/3rd of the year.

More art!

Mine: ^^^

BrightGoats: ^^^

The original animation was created by @brightgoat and is linked here!

I’m out here forming bonds with blogs I’m not even mutuals with

On todays episode of "being way too obsessed with videogames no one’s ever heard about“:

Buying the Wii U version of a game I already own from another country because it came with the Wii version that apparently plays differently just the see the endboss because the different control sceme on the 3DS is screwing with gameplay

The box is cool tho

Didn’t know they could do that. Also the cover is reversible and has the Wii cover on the other side! It looks very cool

"I'm not planning on getting frisky all over the place, I promise."

shit sucks but i just remembered i have 14 pounds of delicious ice cream waiting for me in the -40 cooler so shit sucks Less now

; 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 . Summoning; Ookurikara.

Rarely do I bring Ookurikara to make an appearance bc I know his personality is rather difficult to deal with, so i’m always fearing that he might be too much to deal with or rather said,, offer too little to deal with at the start; Ookurikara is the kind of character that doesn’t actively seek to want to get along with anyone nor wants anyone to reach out to him; and he is pretty straightforward about this; he’s incredibly stubborn and with muses that have a strong sense of authority/power this might clash simply because of his nature as a mumeitou ( a sword that lacks its sword smith’s signature which in exchange, brands him as ‘masterless’, and thus, brings him to wander freely without having to settle under anyone’s ‘orders/rules’ ); yet on the other extreme, if someone is also distant like him, then chances are that there will be no development because Ookurikara does not tend to actively seek out to form bonds. I think the key points to get along with him is;;  

-Dont asume anything from him; if you dictate to him how he should react or what he should say, he’ll straight up ignore you. 

-Dont expect anything from him; You might have summoned him but from his point of view, he owes you nothing. He doesn´t belong to anyone, so why should he follow orders?

-Be patient: Because of his own stubborn nature that leads him to stay inside his own shell and avoid reaching out to others, he is the kind of character that would benefit the most from interacting with someone patient; the kind that would wait for a tree to bear fruits despite the adversities.

Summoning Ookurikara means that from the get-go, he’ll present to you all his flaws raw (something I personally find pretty interesting) . It is common to see that characters tend to show the best of their traits on a first meeting, however in his case, you get what characters usually seek to hide; on his case he will not sugarcoat anything (which is curious when u think about it, that what Ookurikara doesn’t show aren’t his flaws, but his virtues), which a lot of times means people end up giving up on him pretty quickly (which shouldn’t be blamed bc Ookurikara himself does not make it easy for anyone OITUROIT). I think for someone to be able to bond with him, they must have a strong heart, a determinate heart- whether you are kind or rude, rightful or have questionable morals matters little to him simply because he does not naturally find himself caring about others, he’s a solitary individual, and the kind that doesn’t seem to suffer from this, however at the same time, he’s never truly experienced a strong companionship, which means that once you earn his loyalty/faithfulness, he’ll probably naturally end up returning it 10x times

...i dont think i've ever seen a game calculate your play time by what the date/time is since the last save.

I fixed my system clock in the middle of playing bc i forgot i had been outbreak resetting in pokemon & it displayed my play time as -17 hours

So i tested and yeah. Putting it back a whole year did this lol.