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#Crack!plot
strawlessandbraless · 1 month
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Dean taking on the cw when he finds out Cas could have been balls deep in him instead of that rusty nail
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egophiliac · 3 months
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my absolute delight at seeing that the riderboys DO in fact have special magical girl transformation sequences --
(now if they really wanted to commit they would go full sailor moon with the ribbons and bubbles and sparkles, hint hint toei)
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struck by the idea where, For Reasons, plan saddest desert hermit doesn't get off the ground and team proto-rebellion have to pivot and pivot fast.
chucking the conspiracy equivalent of a uey at 100mph on the highway, and everyone involved is sleep deprived, stressed as fuck, and experiencing y'know, several levels of Devastating Grief.
the person with the brain cell is bail organa, a man who in canon spends like 20 fucking years playing ding dong ditch with a genocidal psychic space wizard and his boss, an even more genocidal space wizard. This man is not lacking in gumption, one can say. he is possessed of life threatening amounts of chutzpah, one might also say, except that he spends twenty years winning the ding dong ditch match with, again, a genocidal fascist dictatorship which includes two genocidal psychic space wizards who literally know he was in tight with the genocided group of space wizards plus the [mumble] number of other murderous genocidal space wizards, plus the rest of the non-space wizard space fascist cohort.
So. What does a man with a spine of steel, a heart as big as a planet, and more gumption than anyone should possess do, when plan 'split up the kids and hide the most famous man in the galaxy on the saddest hell planet' is a no go?
lie. lie like a fucking rug.
What's palpatine going to do? day one of the empire, his super awesome chosen one space wizard makeover project is still in progress and not yet wheezing his way into the galaxy's nightmares, and bail fucking organa strolls into the imperial senate with:
one (1) baby (female)
one (1) baby (male)
several (~20+) aides and various hangers on, including;
one (1) brown haired blue eyed man who could, if you squinted a bit, probably get third place in a general kenobi lookalike competition, were those now not super duper illegal
Sidious, of course, could be like A JEDI KILL HIM TRAITOR ETC, but, crucially, his wheezing attack dog is still on the lab table getting seven inches added to his height and cup holders installed, or whatever the fuck skeevy sheev added in as extras. Palpatine is an old guy who is still trading on being A Beloved Grandfather who was Reluctant To Take The Throne, and is still easing the galaxy into the whole, y'know, we're a fascist empire now, kneel or perish.
Palpatine, on day one of the empire, can't point at bail fucking organa and be like HABOURING A TRAITOR unless he is really, really sure, like 110% sure, because it's bail fucking organa and every goddamn senator will baulk like a horse at a plastic bag if he accuses, again, the senator of alderaan of high treason on day one of the empire.
A secret rebellion is fine, if not ideal; you can theoretically stamp it out, and, also, it's small, percentage wise.
The entire fucking galaxy thinking that, hey, if the guy in charge is going to go after fucking alderaan, what's to stop him going after us? bigger problem. huge problem. original trilogy kinda touched on that one. Day one of the empire, everyone is still basically on war footing, and fuck man, if alderaan is copping it....maybe this empire isn't great after all. maybe we can make our OWN empire, with a different emperor.
Would palps win? eh maybe. would it destroy all credibility forever and ever amen? yeah. the difference between a 'legally installed emperor' and 'a dictator we must overthrow' is how willing the galaxy is to lick boot, and there's not yet the fear of The Empire black bagging you to keep those tongues going.
so. palpatine can't say shit. palpatine can imply shit, palpatine can get his lackies to say shit. but, crucially, palpatine himself can't say fuck all about the goddamn kenobi lookalike that is now following after organa and wiping his kid's little butts and playing gofer and whatever else.
and what's more believable? bail fucking organa is hiding a traitor, or bail organa and his wife have a situationship with a guy who looks sort of a bit like a former general? the same kind of situationship that like, half the senate has had at one point or another with a guy (or guys) who looked sort of a bit like said ex-general. go to any high level business and/or political building, you'll find half a dozen guys who look vaguely like said hot ex-general, and many of them will have a more or less (often less) accurate coruscanti-ish accent. or will develop one.
(hey, it's a niche. gotta pay the bills somehow, and if you get the job because you dyed your hair and grew a beard, well, you're still using your political science degree, right?)
of course, that only holds for so long, but by that point it's been, y'know, a while. and that looks worse in a different way -- what, kenobi was fucking walking around in front of the whole imperial senate, and none of them noticed? absolutely not, all credibility is gone forever.
which means. that palpatine and the organas are stuck in a full on staring match about this guy who is 100% for sure not kenobi, because -- well. he can't be kenobi. becuase that would look bad. but also. it's kenobi. but also. it can't be kenobi.
(vader takes one look at this guy who looks like his master kenobi and then rolls his eyes, because he has already met aproximately 90,000 people who look vaugely like his master and he got very good at picking out how the newest one was not kenobi his master by the time he was a senior padawan.)
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snekberry · 1 year
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TMA Time Travel AU Masterlist
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The time travel AU takes place after MAG 200. Future!Jon finds himself back in the 2015 timeline without his Martin.
(Note that F stands for Future and P stands for Past to differentiate characters of different timelines)
Links to all the comics in chronological order:
F!Jon's arrival into the timeline. part 1 | part 2 | part 3
F!Jon waiting for his Martin to arrive. link
F!Jon annoying P!Jon into undergoing character development. link
Peter Lukas visiting F!Jon. link
F!Jon getting hungry and feeding on someone in front of Sasha. link
F!Martin's arrival into the timeline. part 1 | part 2 | part 3
Extra stuff:
P!Jon reacting to F!Jon saying that he wants to kill Elias. link
F!Martin on his way to the timeline. link
F!Jon hearing the P!archival staff get along with one another. link
Tim asking to see F!Jon's fangs. link
P!Martin daydreaming about F!Jon's fangs. link
F!Jon getting decked. link
F!Jon wondering what his fangs are for. link
Tim walking in on F!Jon attempting to eat a cassette tape. link
Time travel au poster. link
F!Jon stuck in the Lonely but he's doing one of those babygirl poses. link
P!Jon and F!Jon's surprise birthday party. link
F!Jon and F!Martin reference sheet. link
P!Jon dreams of polyarchives. link
F!Jon and P!Martin interaction. link
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hella1975 · 3 months
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nothing to see here! (in the taob doc) (it's hell in here) (wtf was i chatting these notes are UNSALVAGABLE) (i want a detailed plot outline of ch44 done by the end of the day) (we are so back)
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twistedappletree · 8 months
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january-summers · 4 months
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Actually, speaking of Obi-wan, my brain's been on some alternate order 66 codywan crack for like, the past day and a half.
cause, in the Clone Wars tv series, there's this line relating to the chips and 'the nightmare(s) is(are) over now' (it's been a really long time I can't remember the line exactly) and it's ingrained this idea that the clones actually suffer from nightmares as a side effect of the chips.
So picture this: Cody accidentally mentions the nightmares around Obi-wan, and because I need for him to for the ... "plot" to happen, Obi suggests a Force Thing that he learned in Jedi Therapy when he was a padawan (that he may or may not remember entirely correctly, which ever way is more helpful for the ... "plot")
and it's basically just dream sharing that allows Cody to lucid dream and over write his nightmares.
which incidentally over writes the chips.
which incidentally have a bluetooth connection and a program hierarchy and ongoing updates between them so Cody's "updated" order list (a series of dreams in which he has a good time actually) take precedent over the subordination chips and slowly the over written commands spread through the GAR like a silent viral infection.
Which would be fine for everyone involved except for one thing.
Order 66.
Because Order 66 in Cody's nightmares starts with Obi-wan lying dead in a puddle of his own blood. And he couldn't quite push past the horror and fear the image instilled in him, so Obi-wan was a little more hands on with that dream, and oh, it's not Obi lying dead in a puddle of blood, it's Obi sprawled in red silk telling Cody everything is going to be alright.
And then feelings... got a little heated and unlike many of the other dreams Obi-wan and Cody end up calling each other's names a lot.
(It is important to note, that in this scenario even though Obi-wan did step in, the mood and direction of the dream were still under Cody's control.)
Which is good because when order 66 is called by Palpatine, the entire GAR isn't focused on kriffing the nearest Jedi, ("Kriff the Jedi, all of them!") they're focused on making sure Cody kriffs Obi-wan (in red silk sheets) specifically.
And for that someone has to sit on Anakin for a few hours.
And kill Palpatine.
And make sure the war is mopped up.
(and red silk sheets are located)
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kitamars · 8 months
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enmi gintoki…………… orz
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a post-identity reveal au where parisians are having an ABSOLUTE field day over ladynoir and adrinette dating openly, pitting both pairs against each other to win the title of the ultimate it-couple. like there are serious SERIOUS shipwars reaching stan twt, people fighting over which one’s superior: the hot superhero couple laydnoir or the wholesome talentfest couple adrinette. on the one hand, people have been hardcore shipping ladybug/chatnoir since their debut days, vying for the smallest morsels of pda thru the course of their akuma fighting ventures, click baiting news titles incessantly, manifesting this relationship into reality while on the other hand, every teen girl is shooketh to the core that the smokeshow model adrien agreste is dating this hella cute up-and-coming fashion designer out of NOWHERE one day, like after years of being somewhat restrained and uber careful about contact with girls on camera, adrien is fucking DRAPED over marinette in front of any and all paparazzi coverage, both of them seeming utterly and hopelessly in love. there are instagram & tiktok edits, there are twitter thread analyses, there is a whole halloween costuming couple trend – everyone and their mother is chiming into the debate and adrien & marinette are just having the time of their lives, laughing their asses off as paris and the world descends into chaos over their very much singular relationship.
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teecupangel · 5 months
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[Desmond Miles has successfully saved a Levantine village during the Third Crusaders after waking up in the past.]
Grateful civilian: Thank you, stranger! You have saved our village from the cruelty of war. May we ask who you are so we may know the name of our savior?
[Desmond Miles believes he cannot say ‘Desmond Miles’ because that might accidentally create a ripple effect in the future.]
[Desmond Miles believes he cannot use any of the names of the ancestors who haven’t been born yet especially the Kenways because of how important they are to his history.]
[Desmond Miles has not yet processed the shock of dying a painful death and waking up in the past and his brain is blanking.]
Desmond: Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad.
[The people Desmond Miles have saved now believed their savior’s name is Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad.]
[Desmond Miles has committed identity fraud.]
[… and he will continue to commit identity fraud.]
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parisoonic · 5 months
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i really wish we got the tf2 tv show because i think, about your talk about how pyro ends up being a foil to the other characters, pyro is such a wildcard of a character that if you need someone for an episode to complete a dynamic it's pyro. he's designated driver. he's the mcdonalds employee. he's scout's ma. she's helping miss p dismember bodies. it's coming in through the dog door
your ask got me thinking about how i'd use pyro in a show and IDK if anyone else has seen Solar Opposites but how they split the Pupa's screentime between A + B plots in the first/second season would be spot on the money for me. Pyro could be there, in the A plot, in small ways (like you said, at the back of the bus or en rotue to the episodes mission) but then gets sucked into a 'mundane' B plot for some tonal levity within the episode. Pyro's gotta run that FTSE 500 company! They've gotta seduce the Ballicorn comic writer in order to read the never-published final issue! They've gotta earn an Astrophysics PHD in order to steal their Professor's Pokemon topped pen....that sort of thing. And then occassionaly they can show up with the deus-ex-mechina for the episode with the rest of the team being none the wiser (other than vaguely baffled as their flamethrower could've REALLY come in handy fighting those haunted scarecrows).
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mazeyphaedra · 30 days
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in thinking the next ep is the final battle here is a non exhaustive list of mystery track things i wish happened/were investigated:
ruben on the cw podcast
kvx bank investigations (logo change, what else changed, is oisín’s ancestor involved in it now, how reliable is nemesis alert)
who wrote the name on lucy’s paper??????
who were the multiple assailants!??!!!
kipperlilly’s network (did aelwyn quit when she got hired at the compass points?)
what was henry hopclap’s letter about
riz’s stipend?!
who were ivy and mary ann before they were rage starred (were all the rat grinders rage starred how did it happen what is the history give me rat grinder canon i am begging!!!!!!!!!)
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tweetsofyj · 5 months
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rottenjestyr · 7 days
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//A quick Ouma to get back in the mood
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petite-phthora · 1 year
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Do you think it was a date?
[DP x DC fic]
[Love at first... murder? - part 5]
<< Prev | Next >>
Part 1
Ao3
---
In-chat nicknames:
Daniel = Danny
Sharpshooter = Jazz
TooFine= Tucker
Chaos = Sam
TheCoolerDaniel = Danielle/Dani/Ellie
---
Private chat nicknames:
Bill = Danny
Pants = Jazz
---
As soon as Danny enters his apartment, face bright red, he takes his head into his hands and lets out a silent scream.
He could have said anything, and he panicked and went with Toodealoo Kangaroo???
At this rate, he’ll never get a partner.
As Danny stands there in misery, his phone starts buzzing with messages. Curious, he checks his phone to see what going on.
Uh oh.
---
Team Phantom 👻😎
Chaos: Guys check this out
Chaos: *link*
Chaos: The Joker escaped from Arkham again, but no one’s heard anything of him since, nor have they been able to find him
TooFine: @Daniel 👀
TooFine: ok the @ had been a joke but the fact that he has read it and not replied is concerning
Sharpshooter: @Daniel, what did you do?
Sharpshooter: @Daniel
Sharpshooter: I can see that you’re reading this, don’t ignore me.
TooFine: ohhhh someones in troubleee 👀
Sharpshooter: Tucker.
TooFine: 🤐
---
Danny takes a deep breath.
Well, it’s now or never. Let’s hope Jazz is feeling merciful.
---
Private chat
Bill: ok so you know how you said you would still love me if I was a worm?
Pants: I have no clue how this ties into the previous conversation, but yes. Why?
Bill: hypothetically
Bill: would you also still love me if I
Bill: hypothetically
Bill: accidentally
Bill: vibe checked someone that tried to uh
Bill: hypothetically
Bill: kidnap and or kill me??
Bill: 🥺🥺🙏
Pants: Danny, did you accidentally kill the Joker?
Bill: yes or no Jazz??!? 😩🥺
Pants: Yes, Danny. I would still love you if you, hypothetically, accidentally killed the Joker.
Bill: this is why you’re my favorite sister 🥹🥰😘
Bill: don’t tell Ellie 😳🫣
Pants: Danny, what happened?
---
Danny lets out a sigh of relief before proceeding to tell Jazz what happened.
---
Pants: Oh Danny.
Bill: are you mad at me?
Pants: I’m not mad at you, I just want you to stay safe.
Pants: While I don’t condone murder, I understand that it was self-defense and an accident. I‘m just glad that you’re alright.
Bill: 🥰💞😘
---
With a small smile on his face, Danny goes back to the groupchat.
---
Team Phantom 👻😎
Daniel: you know
Daniel: if I had a nickel for every time I’ve had to fight off an insane clown that attacked me 🤡
Daniel: I’d have two nickels
Daniel: which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it’s happened twice, right? 🤔
Chaos: Damnit Danny, we leave you alone in a new city for a week and you already manage to get into a fight with one of Gotham City’s most infamous rogues
TooFine: actually its been 6 days 10 hours and 17 minutes
TooFine: so not even a full week yet
Chaos: Did you at least get a good few punches in?
Chaos: Danny?
TooFine: @Daniel ???
TooFine: if i had a nickel for every time danny said something concerning and then didnt provide context id be richer than vlad
Daniel: anyway, for completely unrelated reasons, @TooFine I need you to wipe some cams for me 😃
TooFine: danny im not wiping the cams again so no one will have proof of you tripping backward and falling ass-first into a trashcan
Chaos: Speaking of, Tucker do you still have that footage and can you send it to me?
TooFine: already done
Daniel: noo it’s nothing like that this time 😫
Daniel: pleaseeee 🥺🙏🙏
Daniel: I’ll get you an autograph from Tim Drake-Wayne?
TooFine: deal.
Daniel: 🥳🎉
Daniel: ok so the footage from somewhere around 3 am last night
Daniel: around some place named park row??
Daniel: I think it’s called?? 🤔
Daniel: though I’m pretty sure I’ve also heard some people refer to it as crime alley
Daniel: not sure why tho 🤷
TooTine: aye aye captain o7
Chaos: Danny, in an alley getting attacked by the fucking Joker: I wonder why this place is called crime alley
Daniel: stop bullying me 😠
Chaos: No
TooFine: hey danny r u sure thats right? i checked the cams n stuff but theres no available footage from the area n time u described
TooFine: its like someones already wiped it all
Daniel: oh!
Daniel: that’s so sweet of him  😊
Chaos: Wait who is this ‘him’?
TooFine: the joker????
Daniel: oh no not the Joker
Daniel: just some cute guy I met last night  
Daniel: he witnessed me killing the Joker 🫣
Daniel: and didn’t call the cops on me afterward 🥰💞
TooFine: def green flag
Chaos: Oh hell yeah, he’s a keeper
Chaos: Wait you killed the Joker?! I thought you just fought him off!
Daniel: it was an accident!! 😭😭
Daniel: he crept up on me and tried to grab me 😓
Daniel: so I got startled and because all I saw was a clown
Daniel: I just kinda punched his face in with my ghost strength… 😰
TooFine: f
Chaos: f
Sharpshooter: Have you gotten rid of the body yet? Did you leave behind DNA at the crime scene? Will I need to start saving up bail money or getting ready to enact the Fenton Break Out plan?
Chaos: Jazz asking the important questions here
Daniel: well, considering the footage was wiped
Daniel: and also the fact that no one’s found him yet
Daniel: I think it’s safe to assume it’s all taken care of
Daniel: that’s honestly really sweet of him though 🥰😊
TooFine: oohhhhh ur mystery boo??
Daniel: yeah, this random guy saw me vibe-checking the Joker
Daniel: and let me go home without any trouble
Daniel: pretty sure he’s the one who wiped the cams 🤔
Daniel: and then today he showed up at my apartment with flowers 🥺
Daniel: they were sweat peas!!!! 🥰🤩
Chaos: Was that to thank you for the murder orrrr?
Sharpshooter: Oh those are your favorite, was that on purpose?
Daniel: well I didn’t tell him
Daniel: so I’m not sure if he knew or if it was a coincidence 🤷
Daniel: but yeah then he took me out to this restaurant called Pete’s for dinner
Daniel: they had some amazing cannoli
Daniel: you should try it sometime if you get the chance
Daniel: and then after dinner he took me to the observatory!!!!!!! 🤩🥰
Sharpshooter: Gotham observatory?
Sharpshooter: Isn’t that the one with the special telescope, I think you mentioned it before
Daniel: yeah, the crystal-powered telescope!! 😍💞✨🤩❤️
Daniel: and at the end, he brought me home
Daniel: and he asked for my number!!!
TooFine: nice dude!
Chaos: The guy really went all-out and planned your dream date hu? So, what’s this mystery hunk’s name?
Daniel: oh I’m not sure, I didn’t ask 🙃🤭
Sharpshooter: Danny…
Daniel: yes?
Sharpshooter: Did you go on a date with a complete stranger who witnessed you commit a murder?
Chaos: How do you not even know his name?
Daniel: two words Jazz: Johnny 13
Daniel: and he’s not a stranger!! 😠
Sharpshooter: But you don’t know his name?
Chaos: We just can’t leave him alone, can we? Less than a week on his own and he already murdered one of Gotham’s most infamous rogues and then completely forgets the concept of Stranger Danger
Daniel: I mean he probably just found it when he tried to do some research on me or something
Daniel: probably got it from the school’s system now that I think of it 🤔
TooFine: dude who the hell is this guy??
Chaos: Who the fuck did you go on a date with?
Daniel: do you really think it was a date? 🥺😳
Daniel: I wasn’t sure
Daniel: cause he mainly took me out for dinner to thank me for the night before
Daniel: but then again
Daniel: he did get me flowers and ask for my number after he brought me back to my apartment 🤔
Daniel: like I wasn’t sure if I was reading the signals right…..
Daniel: but do you think that was a date? 🫣
Sharpshooter: Danny, for the love of the Ancients.
Sharpshooter: Who was it?
Daniel: oh, it was Red Hood 🥰
TooFine: damn dannys got that vigilante rizz
Sharpshooter: Red Hood? The crime lord?!
TooFine: former, actually
Daniel: what he said ^^
Chaos: Danny, you really have a type huh? Vigilantes with a Red theme. Who’s next? Red Robin?
Daniel: stop bullying me
TooFine: never
Chaos: Never
Daniel: on a different note, who changed my name in the chat again?
Sharpshooter: Ellie did.
Chaos: Ellie
TooFine: @TheCoolerDaniel
TheCoolerDaniel: 😎
TheCoolerDaniel: wait i just read back, danny’s dating a crime lord?? :0 👀
---
Taglist (for now, I’ll probably stop if I cant keep up):
@i-always-say-yea  @uraniumwizard
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rofax · 1 month
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Thinking about Army of the Doomstar again and how right before they play Aortic Desecration, Nathan is all, "What if this is the wrong song? 😧😨 "
Babygirl the first words are "we are all going to die", what the fuck made you think this was the RIGHT song???
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