#Calendar Nonsense
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I was so excited to switch the Christmas decorations out for the Spring ones today now that it's officially Spring, but nothing is going right, and I hurt so bad from standing so much trying to find everything, and I kinda just wanna cry right now.
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Jaskier is more than happy to care for his witchers when they return to Kaer Morhen in winter, not that it's a sacrifice to be surrounded 24/7 by manly, strong, beautiful men, but he knows that his wolves can't be pampered by him the rest of the year because he spends every season with Geralt.
So he comes up with an idea to make everyone see his witchers exactly as he sees them: heroic and delicious.
A few years ago, Oxenfurt put out a series of portraits of the most handsome professors to motivate more people to go to college. Of course, the number of students inside the classrooms grew a lot.
Jaskier wants to go further, so he tells Yennefer about making portraits of the wolves according to a different year theme. You know, a kind of calendar.
Eskel, sweet and strong, will be Spring. Lambert, young and virile, will be Summer. Vesemir, wise and serene, will be Autumn. And Geralt, mysterious and silent, Winter.
Jaskier can only be carried away by his fantasies.
Thanks to Yen and his magic, by the end of Winter, in every place of the continent there is a series of magical paintings of the witchers of the wolf school exquisitely depicting a whole season that motivates all people to be kinder and more helpful to them.
Some time later, wives and husbands convince their partners to call a witcher to solve their monster problems and give them generous tips, taverns fill them with beers for attracting so many people, inns give them the best rooms and as many bathrooms as they ask for, brothels fight to have one of them in their places and show off their charms.
Jaskier has just invented themed calendars and is happy to know that his wolves are fully appreciated.
The next calendar will undoubtedly feature Coën and Aiden.
#I don't know if that kind of calendars have a specific name in English so I went with the Spanish name.#Like the Australian firefighters' calendar#Jaskier and I have a very specific view of the wolves.#In winter the wolves take it upon themselves to show jaskier how grateful they are.#Happy New Year#the witcher#jaskier#the witcher netflix#geraskier#geralt of rivia#eskel#lambert#kaer morons#vesemir#jaskier deserves pretty things#ficlet#my nonsense#q
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I bet September had a dog growing up. He seems like he wouldve been the kind of kid excitedly holding up a puppy. you get the vibes
#i have theory that something tragic happened to his family but thats neither here nor there#prophet's fl nonsense#september of the calendar council
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Don’t ask me why I did this, because my answer involves the long and meandering evolution of a series of familial in-jokes and comedy bits that I don’t quite understand myself. But please understand that when my wife and I had this idea a year ago it made perfect sense to us, even though right now, I’m not entirely sure how we we got here.
And where is “here?”
Well, for the last month I have spent large sections of my free time making my brother in law a Chadvent Colander.
A Chadvent Colander is like an advent calendar in that every day you open a little envelope but instead of a little chocolate or Lego toy or whatnot, inside there is a different Chad. Also, they are all affixed to a colander. Because puns.
I made 24 different cards in the style of a Top Trumps card, each for a different Chad. Chad Kroeger, Chad Smith, Chadwick Boseman, lake Chad, the country Chad…all are represented here with facts, stats, and (mostly) nonsense.
Above: Chads the country and Kroeger
Above: various Chads
Above: The finished Chadvent Colander, in all its glory.
Now that the project is complete, I can say that it is very difficult to find 24 different Chads and riff on them in bitesize humorous ways. The Wikipedia listing of pages beginning with “Chad” was very helpful, but when the majority of Chads are American sportspeople you’ve never heard of, it can be quite daunting.
We gave my brother in law the Chadvent Colander on Saturday, and he was overjoyed. I can’t wait to see what his reaction is to all the chads.
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My friend: Do you want to go for a hike on March 10th?
Me: Let me check my calendar. It looks like I have something th-
Me: Nevermind. It just says it's Remus Lupin's birthday. I'm free for a hike.
#marauders#marauders era#dead gay wizards#remus lupin#my calendar has so much fandom nonsense#i even have my made up birthday for regulus since i picked one for him so that he could be a Leo#moony wormtail padfoot and prongs#mwpp
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Wireglasses be like: "I hate the weak 🙄"
Mf you leave Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday out of this!!!!! 🫵🫵🫵🫵
#...this joke sounded funnier in my head#bro's really got a problem with the calendar smh#wireglasses coroika#coroika spoilers#i guess ?#idk#nonsense#coroika#splatoon
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box of shame
#i c a n n o t stress how small the forkxspoon are though#but. man. what in the world am i gonna do with 5 lxl calendars + 1 dupe aizo photocard bc they gave me 2 aizos instead of 1 each :(#and. actually. w h a t am i gonna do with a spare ultimate box helloooooooooo auauauauauauauauauauaaaaaa i don’t even have s p a c e for it#why tf did i buy it man. m a n. impulse purchases will be the end of me smh#h e a d i n h a n d s guess i gotta find a way to pack all of this nonsense up asap#i think i dont want to see lxl for a. really. long. while.
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I WANT TO HURT MYSELF SO BAD BUT IM BEING VERY BRAVE ABOUT IT OK
#the rage inside#or not rage#idk#the feelings#the intensity#im just sitting here trying to keep it down#but oh god i want to just drop my self on the ground n trash abt until everything is bruised n hurting#n I'll feel better#i need tension#omg 😭😭😭😭#i Really do think it's pmdd#im going insane#n i misread my calendar so yh#oh my god help me#screams#dw I'll be ok im gonna find smth distracting to do#cloud nonsense
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God they better have had a good reason, what kind of fool would cancel a date with you
The reason was "work is making me stay late."
And this is unfortunately not a new experience, there has been what feels like an endless cacophony of fools cancelling dates with me
#anon asks#friendly anons#dating nonsense#last person who cancelled a date 2 basically gave the reason 'too busy to also add having sex with you to the calendar'#lol so it is what it is i guess
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March Calendar Nonsense
🌊 Friday, March 1st: Lá Céadamh
Paying of the Spring Rents to the Genii Locorum, and drawing of the waters for the Spring Rites
📸 Tuesday, March 5th: Native Plant Trust Class
Nature Photography
🌿 Sunday, March 10th: Green ᴺᵉʷMoon
Liturgical New Year
Celebrates the Awakening of the Earth and the first emergence of life at Spring — especially the reawakening of The Great Queen.
💍 Wednesday, March 13th: Wedding Anniversary
9 years married!
🦋 Thursday, March 14th: Lepitera
Celebrates Butterflies and Moths as both the representatives and heralds of spring (especially those species which are endangered or at risk).
🍑 Wednesday, March 20th (through) Thursday, March 21st: Pevitnia
Celebrates the blooming of Peach Blossoms, and the beginning of the Orchard season. Also contains secondary emphasis on the Hearth and Home.
🥮 Thursday, March 21st: Tekufat Nisan
Vernal Equinox; also known as Ostara in the Wiccan Calendar, and Tekufat Nisan in the Jewish one.
🔯 Thursday, March 21st: Fast of Esther
Customary Pre-Purim Fast
🔯 Saturday, March 23rd (through) Monday, March 25: Purim
Unfamiliar with which is which, so including all 3 on the calendar; will correct once properly educated.
🌿 Monday, March 25th: Green ᶠᵘˡˡMoon
Annual Esbat and Moon Message Divination
⚰️ Hagging Out
TBD by @graveyarddirt / @msgraveyarddirt if occurring
This account is run by a Dual Faith «(Converting) Masorti Jew + Traditional NeoWiccan» & «Ancestral Folk Magic Practitioner» with 20+ years of experience as a practicing Pagan and Witch. If that bothers you, don't interact.
#Personal#2024#A Direct Look At My Practice#Calendar Nonsense#Full Month Calendar Outline#Religion & Magic#Oklahoma#Wiccablr#Witchblr#Paganblr
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happy belated asanuma day and congratulations on warumono-san premiere! 🎉🎉🎉
#ignore the fact that it's a 2022 calendar lmao#2024 one doesn't come out until april and idk somehow i missed getting one in 2023#i'm going back to bed#seiyuu nonsense#kyuujitsu no warumono-san
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Valicer Calendar Finale: OTP To OT3
Happy New Year's Eve, everyone! It's time to talk about the final date on the Valice (r) Calendar post I made to celebrate 15 years of shipping my Valice OTP, and two years of shipping the Valicer OT3! So what's the significance of New Year's Eve to my OTP/OT3?
Well, it's basically the date I feel like my OTP became an OT3. XD This is basically how it all went down at the end of 2021, when I first learned about The Smiler coaster:
December 26th: I watch "One Night In Alton Towers" with my parents (a show where comedians Josh Widdicombe and Alex Brooker, accompanied by a guest comedian -- in this case it was Roisin Conaty -- spend the night at whatever UK attraction happens to be in the title) and see the fabled theme park in action for the first time. The show itself does NOT contain the group going on The Smiler (I believe the entrance is shown briefly in a montage, but the X-Sector ride they actually hit is Oblivion), but my family and I are intrigued and start looking up videos showing what riding the coaster feels like. Along the way, we discover The Smiler, and while we don't watch a video on it...
December 27th: I am sufficiently intrigued that the next day, my birthday, I start looking up stuff about it in earnest.
I quickly discover that the "brainwashing machine designed to make people permanently happy" theme is, uh, "relevant to my interests." XD Cue me going on a binge on YouTube and tumblr looking up the coaster, its history, its lore, and it's fandom, and getting pretty well obsessed. XD
December 28th: New coaster obsession continues, and I get the idea that I could use it in one of my private little snippets about Victor and Alice having a hypnokinky relationship. After all, I'm pretty sure Victor would like to be brainwashed to be happy, the poor anxious noodle! I start coming up with various scenarios in my head regarding Victor and Alice visiting the park and riding the coaster and using the theming to have some more saucy fun later to add to one of my private docs later, which get gradually more complicated as I look up more and more stuff...
December 29th: And by the very next fucking day, a certain anxious noodle has come up with his own AU within my AU where the coaster has an AI behind it and he and Alice are in a relationship with it. Specifically it's him doing art of that scenario in my AU where, you know, the coaster is just A FUCKING COASTER. I'm like, "excuse me, I'm trying to write down this completely normal scenario where you and Alice just have fun with the coaster theme! What is this bullshit where you want to fuck the roller coaster?"
He is unrepentant.
December 30th: "...would you like me to make the coaster human, because it occurs to me I could do that in Sims 4."
Victor: "I would not object."
December 31st: I've already come up with three different Smilers for three different AUs (the original Modern AU, the VTMB Malkavian!Smiler, and the FO4 Robot/Eldritch Horror!Smiler) and wondering how I completely lost it so freaking fast. XD
Sooo -- yeah. That was the point where I knew this was going to be a Thing. XD (And I hadn't even come up with Smiler's actual human design yet! That was nine days later!) Two years in, and it is still a Thing, as you are all very much aware. XD Here's to my bizarre Things, and the ships that were created from them! I hope to get much enjoyment from them for years to come.
#valicer#valice calendar#how this all went down#pretty sure I summarized this back when I first introduced Smiler to the Chill Save#but it never hurts to do a recap for anyone who might have shown up later#and also I think this recap is funnier than the last one XD#at least part of Valicer becoming a Thing so fast was also me looking at how long it took me to accept Valice as a Thing#and going 'okay no I'm not fighting this nonsense for half a year only for it to consume my life'#instead it consumed my life in a matter of days XD#not that I'm complaining#I think I've made it very clear that this ship and everything related to it has given me a lot of joy :)#which I guess is only appropriate for anything based on The Smiler XD#but yeah#expect to see lots more Valice and Valicer content in the coming year#because if I have to deal with this nonsense#so do all of you
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What would the rest of the CC give as a wedding present when September and the PC get married
I feel like Feb would give a knife set akdkgkhkkh
#im backing to thinkin of josie and septembers wedding lmal#for a small group it sure was a chaotic one#the calendar council#prophet's fl nonsense
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Could we by any chance hear about the tvdint fics you deemed too scandalous to share?? We are also freaks please I could never find the good non-English ones on my own
As much as I would enjoy putting together another list, I'm a lil too weary of my tastes to reveal em to anyone lol
And again, if you've read through the tvdint tag on ao3, chances are you've read all my faves. Finding non-english fics requires some experimentation (some translate really well, and others are like "well... I know what these words mean separately, but put em together, and.....?????") The best advice I can give is to find an author whose fics translate really clearly (most of the non-english authors i listed in my last fic list have lots of easy-reads! and they are the authors of some of my fave Scandalous Fics 🤫), and then go through their collection of fics to see if they have any more good ones hidden away. Give their bookmarks a quick look too; if they write about tropes/kinks you like, chances are they're looking for the same types of fics as you!
I admittedly have no tips for fic-hunting on pixiv, cuz the way the fic searches on that site are formatted kinda give me a headache after being spoiled by ao3's search engine lol. And i honestly haven't read too many tvdint pixiv fics in general
#i hope you'll forgive me for not sharing my faves#my tastes are Bad#and not even in the Funny Bad kinda way#my calendar is about as bold as i'm willing to be with sharing my tastes#and maybe.... a certain fic i'm in the middle of writing that is distinctly *out* of my comfort zone#even tho that doesnt even really have my tastes either#it just kinda smacked me upside the head one day and ordered me to write it#and who was i to say no?#okay okay i'm gonna stop rambling nonsensically now#anonymous#ask
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BLOOD IT WILL TAKE BLOOD day 20: Sparkles!!! It's, like, insanely pretty on my skin. I tried really hard to take a pic of it and it's just not possible for me, at least inside. I tried a touch on my cheek in a mimic of a highlighter and I actually kind of like it. I might try that and then see how it looks in the sunlight.
#geeky talks#blood it will take blood advent opening#geeky has an advent calendar#at first i was like >:( because i thought it was some more skincare nonsense#but nope just an insanely glowy oil
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Ulquiorra absolutely expects everyone who liked that previous post to get his wife a thoughtful gift.
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