It really is so true that you never know what someone’s going through behind closed doors. I’ve made being gentle and kind my default bc I’ve had super put together friends disclose the most harrowing time of their lives to me and it’s like oh?? You were going through that???? I would’ve never guessed

I was thinking about how Saiki's friends would react to finding out about all the trauma and abuse he has suffered throughout his life, but the one that got to me the most was Nendou. Of course all of Saiki's friends would be upset and angry to hear about how the incident in 2nd grade affected Saiki or the torture Kusuke put him through, but Nendou would be absolutely devasted. He legitimately sobbed at the idea that Saiko was leaving PK Academy, someone who he was barely even friends with. He clearly feels so deeply for the people in his life. Imagine how heartbroken he would be to find out the boy he considers to be his best friend went through so much pain and is still dealing with the psychological trauma. The boy Nendou blooded himself and almost broke his back for to protect from a falling bookshelf. He loves Saiki so much and already feels a responsibility to protect him. Knowing that his best buddie was going through so much this whole time would break him. Nendou may not be the smartest when it comes to most things, but he is one of the if not the most emotionally intelligent character in the series. He is very in tune with and comfortable expressing his emotions, which is the exact type of person Saiki needs. I think Nendou would make it his personal mission to make sure Saiki knows he is loved and that his friends are there for him.

how can i be so cruel to myself when i'm doing the best i can!!

- unknown

the imagery of no health regen…… wounded skin that doesn’t heal…. torn clothes….. burns…. scorch marks….. bite marks….. blood everywhere…… unraveling bandages…… oh…….

Jasper as a character is so interesting because he ends up a Confederate because he can't actually empathise with the slaves and because he simply accepts cruelty around him, and then when he becomes a vampire he literally can't ignore others suffering because it hurts him, but even decades after he becomes a Vegetarian he still can't get a hang of it partially because he still can't see humans as *people*. Idk there's smth to be said about him becoming a vampire because of his own cruelty and then being eternally in horrific pain because of said cruelty that fucks.

Jasper's whole life is a curse & i love to see it

here we have a Confederate supposedly so empathetic that he acquired a "gift"... yet not so empathetic as to recognize he was fighting for the enslavement of an entire race. despite seeing the consequences of slavery literally every day. now, the man who spent his last human days denying the humanity in others is forced to spend his immortal life being slapped in the face with their emotions. forever. hueeueueueu-

yeah, i would call that "gift" a curse, actually.

if Twilight weren't a horror story, we might see a discussion between Jasper/Bella about how immortality forces you to confront the darker side of your nature (e.g. "there will come a day when the societal beliefs imbued unto you leaves you standing on the wrong side of history"), & Jasper's journey with finding love & humanity. OR, y'know, he could've just had ONE (1) line where he says "yeah i'm not proud of my service." simply, if Twilight weren't a horror, Jasper could see the error of his ways & change for the better.

HOWEVER. Twilight vampires are "mentally frozen" when they turn, so Jasper is likely still a racist who does not regret his service. no matter how many times he is confronted with his cruelty, he won't change. meaning whatever life he chooses, his gift dooms him.

wow! eternal curse!

we see evidence of this frozen mental state in his decision to go vegetarian. he doesn't switch bc he feels bad about killing humans:

"I could feel everything my prey was feeling. And I lived their emotions as I killed them. [...] You've experienced the way I can manipulate the emotions around myself, Bella, but I wonder if you realize how the feelings in a room affect me." (Eclipse, Ch 13)

note the dehumanizing term "prey" & the focus on himself. he laments not that the human lives he's taking have value but that their dying moments harsh his vibe.

the irony! trapped as an empath while never possessing the ability to be an empath! CURSE CURSE C-

herein lies a bigger, juicier curse: Jasper is, himself, (hot take) enslaved in the sense that he will never know freedom, philosophically speaking, due to the choices he made in life. the series tries to paint him as a master tactician & competent leader; fanon often paints him as a free-thinking amoral black sheep. in reality, he simply obeys the commands of higher authorities & abides by their worldview regardless of how toxic it is to himself or others.

in the beginning, he had María.

he entered the Southern Vampire Wars not by his own volition but stayed because he was content not having a choice. however one feels about María, the fact of the matter is 1) as a newborn he was stronger, bigger, & faster than her & could have run away or overpowered her, 2) had the "gift" to identify emotions & could KNOW when/if she was malicious or manipulating him, & 3) could have escaped by influencing her emotions to make her disinterested in him. at any time in the 100 years they were together, he could have left. he talks about never knowing a life outside the war & discovering "options I'd never dreamed I had." ok???? run 100 miles in any direction & you would have seen a life outside of war. BOI-

instead, he took comfort in being submissive & adopting someone else's ideology. not only did it remind him of his past, but it meant he had no need to reflect on his actions or beliefs. he prefers others dictate his worldview & order him around even if it means being unhappy. he only left because he was going to be assassinated, & even then, it wasn't until someone else told him another life was possible that he "realized" another life was possible.

notably, the period where he's most free— living with Peter & Charlotte— is his rock-bottom where "the depression got worse." but, again, not because he realized the value of human life: "I was so wearied by killing [...] even mere humans."

then he meets Alice.

Alice, who has visions of being vegetarian & converts him so they can live with the Cullens. Alice, who dictates how her family should live their lives to the point where she manipulates them. Alice, who goes so far as to dress the Cullens, who orders Jasper to wait in the car while she & Bella go shopping, who Jasper refers to as "truly [...] one frightening little monster" because for all his experience she can still beat him in combat.

his eternal soulmate is authority.

despite being unhappy with his vegetarian life, as it makes him feel weak & coddled & a liability to everyone around him, he follows the lifestyle because Alice tells him to.

then there's the Volturi, another authoritative body. "We owe the Volturi for our present way of life," says acclaimed bootlicker Jasper Hale, who in the same moment shudders at the atrocities they committed, yet strangely sees no other way for a governing body to keep the peace... so... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

but, since Carlisle outranks the Volturi as an authoritative figure in that he more closely aligns with Jasper's new worldview, Jasper sees no problem deposing the vampiric governing body if it means his sister-in-law of like 2 months can keep her demonic spawn. so i guess we don't really owe the Volturi that much

to his credit, we see glimmers of him questioning his leaders: 1) his decision to leave Maria, 2) his considering switching diets to defeat Victoria, & 3) going against the Volturi. but, again, these decisions are all just a result of his self-preservation & submitting to the higher authority du jour.

in the end, he has the perfect storm of conditions that would allow him to escape the prison he's created, to find freedom & to love humanity unconditionally... but he won't. Jasper's ultimate curse is that regardless of whether he realizes the enslavement of his own self, he will never leave his cage because it's cozy & easy & allows him to never think for himself.

AAAANYWAY Jasper's life sucks & he's trapped in an eternal prison of his own making. lol

Hi Hell, congrats on the exciting foster kitten news!

I just applied to adopt a kitten and had my interview for her today. The woman seemed most interested in convincing me of how terrible dry food, traditional litter (she preferred clay), and tap water is for cats. She said the carbohydrates and ingredients were terrible for their kidneys, the dust in litter is bad for their lungs, and the chlorine in water is harmful. I have a 12 year old cat named Scipio who has been using those things all his life, and now I feel guilty and scared for his health. He seems perfectly healthy to me but she said “cats are stoic.” What do you use with the Tiny Terrors? Is she extreme?

Well, I'm not a vet, so the actual answer is that your cat should be getting what their doctor recommends. But I've had those conversations with people before, and I can give my two cents--just take it with a grain of salt.

So...it's basically always true that you can spend more money on fancier 'health' options and there is, to some extent, benefit to the pricier choices. But there's a point at which that benefit is pretty minimal compared to what you get for the midrange price options. This is as true for pet health as it is for people health.

It's true that wet food is usually a better option for cats. Among other things, it helps them stay at a healthy level of hydration, can be easier on their digestive systems, and is often more palatable for cats who are elderly or have dental problems. But that doesn't mean that dry food is inadequate--Mal and Vice used to split a can of wet food daily, and graze dry food whenever they wanted. They're currently eating almost exclusively dry food, because Vice is on a sensitive skin and stomach diet to help address his overgrooming. I would avoid the bottom-end dry foods, because they seem prone to contamination, but that's more manufacturer quality than an issue with the dry food generally. Dry food is usually a nutritionally complete way to feed a cat, and there's nothing wrong with it.

Mal and Vice drink tap water. They have a bowl of still water, and a fountain with an inbuilt filter. The fountain is because if they don't have running water, they will make running water by splashing their bowls all over. I can't speak to chlorine but it's definitely healthier than drinking out of puddles, which is what they would be doing if left to their own devices.

They use clay litter because that's what's effective and affordable. When I'm changing it out I generally give it a few minutes for dust to settle before I let them at it--someone always wants to make a deposit in the clean box--but there's pros and cons to all the litter options out there.

In a perfect world with infinite resources, I'd be feeding the cats a careful balanced diet of fresh-prepared meats and filtered spring water, and they'd take dumps in a tiny kitty toilet that cleaned itself without my help. But that's not really practical or achievable for me, my life, or my cats, and frankly, it's not necessary. I want them to have a good life. It doesn't need to be a perfect one. If your cat is doing well, and their vet is giving them a clean bill of health, you probably have nothing to worry about. I'm not a professional; you should consult your vet and research options for yourself (which is what I do) but you're not doing anything wrong here.

I will say that when I was going through the process of adopting Mal and Vice, some places (usually private rescues) wanted me to jump through INSANE hoops to even apply. I respect that their hearts are in the right place, but... There are hundreds of kittens in shelters right now that need homes desperately, and the quality of the cat has very little to do with the quality of the rescue--they might have more or less vet work done, depending on where they're coming from, but nobody's managed to fundamentally change the nature of the beast. If you can provide a safe home, food, clean water, and attention to a cat, that's really all they need. The rest is just gravy.

Imagine V1 in a Cruelty Squad universe. As it realizes that all the people that it kills here come back from the dead like nothing happened, that life and thus blood here is infinite, it starts to think that its in some sort of machine paradise. Infinite things to kill. Infinite fuel.

It’s also fun to imagine V1 and MT Foxtrot meeting and their conflict of interest. One wants LIFE to stay everlasting and another wants to reintroduce DEATH into the world to give it value. Killing machine that has gained humanity throughout its journey and a man turned into a killing machine by the system he lives in. Also they both have a grappling hook

i will never stop hating the fact that severus snape is so loved like the guy is a misogynistic asshole who bullied kids to the point they were traumatized because of him, mentally tortured a 15yo boy with the memories of his abusive childhood and made this boy's life hell just because his dad married the woman he has a creepy obsession on, joined a terrorist group to kill people he deemed inferior and take over the world, was a shitty teacher, favoured his own house, was ready to get a baby killed and gave the information that could have got him killed without batting an eye, called his best friend a slur, told everyone another teacher was a werewolf and so made him lose his job just because he was petty, was horrible to everyone, was terrible to the woman he "loved" and her son, and didn't even join the good side because he realized his mistakes... the guy is pure evil but he's loved because uwu he was in love with lily 🥺 huh no he was obsessed with her and a bastard actually. you love him and forgive him because he's a man. can you imagine if a female character did all of this ? she would be the most hated character ever.

“when you play go, you pursue your desires in silence. you seduce, and you fall. you strip each other bare. and if your partner doesn't reciprocate, then it's just a game of go.”

go as an overarching symbol throughout the glory, both figuratively as a representation of dongeun’s revenge, and also as a metaphor for class and relations (between her and the men in her life, i.e. yeojeong and doyeong).

on a relational level, go is a game of seduction. it’s a mental sword dance, so to speak. dongeun learns it with revenge in mind - she plans to catch the interest of doyeong, the husband of the girl who destroyed her life. she uses go to approach him - she seduces him the very first time he sees her play, so much that he can’t get her out of his head. she uses go to entice him; she wins before he even knows that he’s playing.

dongeun learns go for the purposes of ensnaring doyeong, but it’s yeojeong who first teaches her go at all. and it’s go that becomes a cornerstone of their burgeoning relationship as well. throughout the seasons, go helps both of them, as something that centers them, tethers them to current life. for yeojeong, his sessions mentoring dongeun in go were the only thing that created a schedule for him in his most turbulent time (after his father died, etc.). it becomes their mode of communication - he asks her to make a play so that he can know she came by. a silent way of saying i’m alive.

and then there’s dongeun approaching doyeong to play go, then them meeting again at the park he designed. yeojeong also approaches doyeong to play go, also purposefully - the man who taught dongeun vs the man she learned to play for. 

but for dongeun, go is never about the men so much as it is about herself. go becomes something she loves for what it is, a game that builds territories, a game where the enemy can be slowly and methodically destroyed as you take all their territories, like how she plans to take everything from yeonjin. it reminds her of the dreams of being an architect she had before she had to drop out of school from the bullying/assault.

doyeong says that one of his go teachers tells him that he was born holding the black stones. when dongeun plays with yeojeong for the first time, she says she has to start with the white stones, since she’s the beginner. that’s how they play, for months. when doyeong meets dongeun after finding out the beginnings of the truth, he says that this game is more difficult than the ones he’s played in the past (and she beats him, the first time they play prior to that meeting). 

the black stones represent the upper hand, the wealthy. it’s a class metaphor, especially when related to doyeong. yeojeong also starts out with the black stones, maybe because of wealth, maybe because he’s learned it for far longer. maybe because life was kinder to him. dongeun starts at the bottom, with the white stones, because she has nothing and knows nothing.

but when she places her first stones on the go board, she plays with the black.

im happy people are having fun with the two headed calf but like. the poem is not real and is metaphorical, and the real animal is probably a walking QOL issue and in a lot of pain and discomfort. i want a world where she could life to adulthood but unfortunately in reality its likely an act of cruelty to keep her alive...i can't help but worry about it.

A person who saught freedom beyond what reality could abide (honestly same)

no but peeta was being a dick after the first games. yes it's understandable why he overreacted but it doesn't change the fact that he did overreact, and that it was him who created the distance between himself and katniss. which is exactly why he was the one to apologize (and another reason why the movies suck because his line if i stop acting like i'm wounded is changed into if you stop acting like i'm wounded).

i don't mind seeing people interpret hope and lightning as having romantic connotations surrounding them in the lr lore, but i personally think claiming it to be proven as canon really undermines just how badly bhunivelze fucked with hope's head

"bhunivelze developed a romantic obsession with lightning because he absorbed hope's heart!" yes, but that's not all there is to it. you gotta keep in mind that bhunivelze used lightning to psychologically mess with hope for centuries, he used her image as a tool to get hope to obsess over the past and wish for nothing more than to be reunited with her (remember that the last time hope ever saw her was at the end of xiii, while everyone else aside from vanille and fang had come back at that point), and she had such a major hand in inspiring hope to become the person, the leader, he'd become since then

bhunivelze didn't inherit hope's emotions until after he had become obsessed with lightning as a symbol of the past. if you view hope's and lightning's relationship as platonic/familial (like i personally do) then bhunivelze becomes so much more sick, and it adds to the misogynistic undertones in his behavior toward mwynn and etro, his own family. he took something pure, the admiration a young boy had for an older woman who replaced his mom as his female role model, and twisted it into something dark, inappropriate and obsessive, something that would serve him. that's what he inherited. he was never able to love his mother or daughter, how could he possibly understand the familial love between hope and lightning?

bhunivelze's sudden feelings for lightning is, in my opinion, meant to disturb us because of how innocent hope's admiration for lightning actually is. turning hope back into a kid sells that even more, it specifically draws out lightning's maternal instincts toward him, just for her to be faced with what bhunivelze has twisted it into after centuries of torture. bhunivelze isn't representative of hope's and lightning's relationship, they're victims of his abuse of the human heart

again, interpreting them as romantic is fine and dandy if that's how you see them, but i feel like claiming it's all "proof that hope x lightning is canon" ignores a lot of important details surrounding them and bhunivelze, more specifically it downplays the absolutely devastating impact bhunivelze had on hope's state of mind, and subsequently, lightning's rage upon seeing it for herself

yay i finally finished it the small FPSBunnies collection