#But yeah go read it
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I re-read @thetriggeredhappy ‘s fic (in their Tumblr req collection, #11) where scout had to wear a suit and uhhh I wanted to do a quick sketch related to it. ,,, this was just an excuse to draw this loser in a suit it’s not really related to the fic at all.
#But yeah go read it#I’m 100% serious I have a shortcut on my phone that goes to the Tumblr reqs collection titled bedtime stories cause they’re all so amazing#and I frequently read them before bed due to the fact that’s the only moment I have time#I especially like 9 I think it’s my favourite#also 19#(I’m a Red Sox fan)#also 39 and 87#okay I like them all I’m listing too many now#tf2#scout tf2#tf2 scout
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— ambivalance —
by Fxckinf
Words: 98k
Chapters: 15/15
Summary
"Come on, you little headfuck."
Harry looks at him with mock annoyance. "Headfuck? What are you implying?"
Louis smiles. "You can't decide if you hate me or wanna kiss me. I respect it, honestly."
Harry nudges their shoulders together as they walk back into the opening of the trees. "It's called being ambivalent, actually. 'Headfuck' isn't a proper word."
Or
Harry has always hated Louis. Louis has no idea why. He stole everything from Louis, seemingly with no motive. Louis expects him to continue to steal everything from him but he doesn't expect him to make him rethink everything he thought he knew.
A fic about friendship, loss, finding purpose, finding yourself and finding love.
#okay so i cried#this fic is straight out of the 2013 fandom era#and that's a good thing#this fic is a cross between unbelievers and a scottmcniceass fic#'we're okay' is the one i'm thinking about#the journey louis goes through and his character developement is one of the best i've ever read#i love the original characters too#i cried for maddy#i rooted for louis#gonna stop before i cry again#but yeah go read it#fic rec#ambivalence#fxckinf
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Everyone should read their own fanfics recreationally tbh this shit fucking rules. It's like the author knows exactly what I like.
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the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.
capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.
now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.
and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.
and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.
and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".
it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"
#this was much longer i had to cut it down for legibility#but i do want to say i am aware this post doesnt touch on human rights violations as a result of fast fashion#that is because it deserves its own post with a completely different tone#i am an environmental educator#so that's what i know the most about. it wouldn't be appropriate of me to mention off-hand the real and legitimate suffering#that people are going through#without doing my research and providing real ways to help#this is a vent post about a thing i'm watching happen; not a call to action. it would be INCREDIBLY demeaning#to all those affected by the fast fashion industry to pretend that a post like this could speak to their suffering#unfortunately one of the horrible things about latestage capitalism as an activist is that SO many things are linked to this#and i WANT to talk about all of them but it would be a book in its own right. in fact there ARE books about each level of this#and i encourage you to seek them out and read them!!! i am not an expert on that i am just a person on tumblr doing my favorite activity#(complaining)#and it's like - this is the individual versus the industry problem again right because im blaming myself#for being an expert on environmental disaster (which is fucking important) but not knowing EVERYTHING about fast fashion#i'm blaming myself for not covering the many layers of this incredibly complicated problem im pointing out#rather than being like. yeah so actually the fault here lies with the billion dollar industries actually.#my failure to be able to condense an incredibly immense problem that is BOOK-LENGTH into a single text post that i post for free#is not in ANY fucking way the same amount of harm as. you know. the ACTUAL COMPANIES doing this ACTUAL THING for ACTUAL MONEY.#anyway im gonna go donate money while i'm thinking about it. maybe you can too. we can both just agree - well i fuckin tried didn't i#which is more than their CEOs can say
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i get it now
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#astarion#destiny doodles#destiny comics#even as an ace person when this happened to me i was like: yeah i get it.#i did try to burn his hand off tho#i'm playing with a full party of friends so i don't feel like i know what's going on most of the time haha#it's fun tho#reading the comments and tags and omg??? astarion is an ace magnet???#okay i'm in act 2 now and i see a huge reason why. big spoiler tho so not gonna say but. yeah.
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Guilt
From Desert Duo Vigilante AU by @kitsuneisi and @xmaruu11
#desert duo vigilante au#ddvau#ddvau fanart#ddvau hotguy#ddvau grian#ddvau hotguy beloved#oh yeah agnst#cw blood#teehee#*agnsts your au*#desert duo fanart#grian fanart#go read DDVAU
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Drew a bunch of Marinettes in a bunch of different artists styles it was a lot of fun!!
Artists who's styles I mimicked: @buggachat @hamsternamedmarinette @ladybeug @sabertoothwalrus and @anna-scribbles all epic artists 🤟😎
#my art#marinette dupain cheng#miraculous ladybug#miraculous fanart#style mimic#sorry for the @s btw#yall should go follow those artists if you dont already also#this was sort of inspired by a post the three artists on the top row made#i think they all got together and drew with one another#which is really cool#but i was genuinely confused because i mimic styles a lot#and ive seen others do it too so i was just like#wow they really know each others styles really well#until i thought about it and read their posts some more#style mimicking is really freaking fun and i think its really good practice#and a good way to explore other ways of doing things#like you really have to learn new techniques and get out of your comfort zone#also anna scribbles i could not find a recent pic of marinette in her main outfit#so thats the only marinette i drew in different clothes cuz i couldnt find a more recent ref of you drawing it#anna scribble marinette has privileges thats the others dont#but ye#i also threw my own style in there as a frame of reference to what me draw like#ive drawn marinette before just not in a loooong while#sabertooth walrus was the hardest for me to mimic cuz they have a broad range in their style#so its like which sabertooth do i wanna be in this pic#Buggachat has such a distinct style thats very clean and consistent which is amazing so they were easy#being easy or hard arent bad things either it also has to do with like styles meeting up with one another#buggachats and mine arent too too different in some shapes and aspects#so yeah itd be easier plus they drew marinette like 3 sec ago so i have more recent of a ref#as opposed to sabertooth who i have a recent ref of ladybug but not marinette so we got two diff styles in one
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A writer and His number one fan hater
#svsss#shen qingqiu#shang qinghua#platonic cumplane???#Shen Yuan#scum villian self saving system#scum villains self saving system#scum villain's self saving system#scum villain#I actually have a lot of thoughts about them that i wasnt able to articulate right with words or drawings#i just think#That Shen Yuan really did like the story#like he was upset on behalf of a good character#he was upset about its potential#he absolutely wanted more for him and was upset that it was thrown away to please the masses#he had no idea what Shang Qinghua was going through#absolutely just ranked on him and YEAH IT WASNT THE BEST WORK BUT clearly it still was good enough to make Shen Yuan care#like ah#I would love to read more dynamics about them about a struggling writer and his most trusted hater to yell at him to write his heart out#also Shen Qingqiu going through svsss and seeing how much thought Shang Qinghua actually put into the story#and how much effort he actually had in it before he had to settle and scrap#like AAAAHH Im not the analysis type and my thoughts about them really are all other the place but really I think nothing is stronger then#an author and a reader#cause my man read to the very end the ABSOLUTE END#hE CARED HE CARED HE REALLY CARED NO MATTER HOWWWW MUCH HE CRIED ABOUT IT#alright dont look at me they make me go crazy#my art#nibbelraz
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Usopp said “I want a divorce!” and Luffy said “Fine! But I’m taking the kids!” and the kids were three teens older than him, a reindeer, and a 30 year old woman who was actively committing a political assassination
#like yeah sometimes your kids are three teens older than both yourself and your spouse a reindeer and a 30 year old woman who was actively c#one piece#water 7#you thought i was done with the usopp brainrot but no i was just on vacation#Elbaf cant come any sooner im chewing on the drywall and thinking about water 7#water seveeeeeen#I’m gonna have to go read fanfiction abt this#lusopp#strawhat pirates#monkey d. luffy#god usopp#my post
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We’ve all heard of mansplaining. Now get ready for: PJO book purist-splaining. It’s like mansplaining, but every time you even think about liking a change made in the show, they jump down your throat with “ACTUALLY in the books…” because the show is “doing it all wrong” and the change is “so out of character” and “doesn’t even make sense :/”
#I know I’m hitting a wasps nest like a piñata rn just let me go out with a bang#reason for this post:#I’m currently being jumped by the book purists in like half of my silly little headcanons#‘but in the books’ yeah i know i read them too#I’m convinced that if they don’t ‘correct’ you then they’ll spontaneously combust on the spot#blink twice if you need help#if you like the books so much then go read those instead of my blog thanks#percy jackson#pjo#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson and the olympians#pjo tv show#pjo spoilers#percy jackson tv show#percy jackson the lightning thief#pjo series
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if there's one thing about classic literary detectives it's that they are not conventionally attractive. doyle told sidney paget to stop drawing holmes so pretty. christie was like "let me introduce you to this short pudgy balding man who is retirement age and i hate him." sayers compares wimsey to maggots on literally the FIRST PAGE
i love it. i love them. stop casting hot people in these roles. we need our detectives to be Charmingly Weird-Looking
#red randomness#acd holmes#poirot#lord peter wimsey#sherlock holmes#hercule poirot#peter wimsey#100 and up neat#the contrast in resulting authorial attitudes also ends up being somewhat amusing#christie basically wanting to kill poirot but going 'i gotta give the people their pompous little guy. and also it's money.'#doyle constantly wishing people would read his other worse books#and then sayers comes in like 'hey remember the guy i kept comparing to a slug? yeah i'm marrying him to my self-insert'
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i’m so sick of writers who proudly proclaim that they don’t read and directors and actors and other filmmakers who smugly say that they rarely watch movies or any artist who acts like an audience is stupid for connecting with their work like what the fuck is wrong with you that you hold such contempt such derision for the art that you have chosen to make the art that so many people dream of the opportunity to make the art that brings meaning and connection to people’s lives it’s unbelievably disrespectful to both your audience and the art-form and if you can’t muster basic respect for either your art-form or your audience then kindly fuck off and do something else
#i hate how rare it is to have an actor be like ‘yeah i just really love movies and going to the movies it’s the best i love what i do’#to the point where when an actor or director IS like that people are like ‘wow what a freak…they’re faking it for attention’ like!! no!!#that’s what it’s SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE!! you WANT creators who are obsessed with their medium!!!#and what gets me about the people who don’t feel that way is the clear Pride they feel like they’re Better for not caring#that uk ya author adapting the odyssey and admitting that they’ve never read the odyssey or the iliad#that writer on twitter saying that telling writers to read is ableist#the russo brothers saying that the theatrical experience is elitist and auteurism should bow to the disney/netflix model#christain bale and any number of other actors who proudly announce that they don’t watch movies#sam levinson who talks about tv like it’s a long movie because he can’t hack it as a filmmaker like his dad but he doesn’t actually LIKE tv#like i get not wanting to consume your own work after it’s released unless it’s for research or self reflection purposes#but you do not exist or create in a vacuum and it’s SO disrespectful and arrogant to act like you do
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sometimes I think of all the on-the-surface warm, well-meaning but deeply ineffectual advice and attention john gives harrow through harrow the ninth (make some soup and get some sleep! get a hobby! don't be so hard on yourself! self care harrow! as long as I need take no actual responsibility in this relationship whatsoever I would have loved to be your dad!) set up against the stark truth that with his other hand he has been staging her attempted horrific murder again and again and again like a living nightmare on the logic that it will 'put her down or fix her'. and then I find that I wish there is a hell. a special hell where twitch streamers turned necromantic death emperors go
#the locked tomb#harrowhark nonagesimus#john gaius#harrow the ninth#this is why I don't buy john as misunderstood and initially well-meaning AT ALL#this is a pattern you see with him again and again and again -- right down to his interpersonal relationships#(and indeed it's in the more grounded interpersonal relationships you can most clearly see him as he is I think#the fantasy death empire of a thousand years doesn't register quite as viscerally because it's like. heightened; not quite real#but the emotional violence and manipulation that surrounds him? oh boy that is EXTREMELY real and scarily well-observed)#there's a premeditation to so much of what he does (contracts with planets that only end 'in the event of the emperor's death' anyone?#yeah john we get it you're hilarious and I wish you weren't)#the greatest trick john ever pulled was making anyone think he's just a lil guy. what does he know he's only god#when you first read the book the complete callousness of the other adults is so horrible that john seems like an oasis of care#(though you start to get this uneasy feeling when that care never seems to translate to like... relief or soothing or resolution)#and it makes it feel almost obscene when you find out what's actually going on#it's the mercy & augustine enabler hour but at least they're completely honest in their cruelty there#while john is -- well he sure is being john huh#this is just me being angry with him btw philosophically I don't think this is how the story will or should end#(with john slam dunked right into hell that is)#it's just... harrow is so vulnerable. and what he does to her is so insidious and fucked up#john is very deeply human. unfortunately the capacity to quite simply suck so much is deeply human too
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setting the tone for 2024 by making this my first post thank you for your attention
#one piece#eneru#yeah i do call him eneru i paid good money to read the viz copies LMAO#enel#also when u dont post on social media for 2 months all the webbed sites look completely different when u come back go figure
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found back this thing from 2021
putting the addition directly onto the og post since nobody reblogs the full version:
'about this i feel a few people have misunderstood what i drew it for, my tags didnt help at all for sure and it is just one doodle, but i didnt made it as 'i'm questioning my sexuality and need to know what specific labels i am'. i've been well aware of what my whole deal is for years.
this was a silly doodle i drew as a recreation of all the thoughts and questions i had that went 'what is attraction? what is romance and sexual and platonic and friendship and something else entirely? how and why do we need to define feelings and relationships so much? why do people act the way they do, date the way they do, marry the way they do, live the way they do? how much does your own culture and time influence the way you do those things, the way you think you should act and feel? how much does amatonormativity influence and impact all of us? and why are some people so resistant against the idea of questioning and living out of these norms?' among many others things.
again, i drew years ago. i didnt want to post it because it felt unnecessarily personal and because people are insufferable about queerness.
EDIT: pls for the love of my sanity reblog the full post instead.'
#every now and then i go 'what is attraction and how does it work and do i experience it?' then read/listen to allos and demis and grays'#experience with it all and go 'yeah- huh. i dont- no- huh- is that how people really work? what'#every time i feel like i get it i get so confused with new infos. wish could understand people better.#mightdeletelateeer#EDITEDIT: reblog this version or the full version pls. i cant delete this in a way that matters anymore. i expected only 3 or 5 people to#leave a like and that wouldve been it. it broke containment and its annoying.
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I'm so normal about this fic <33333333 yeah <3333
Natural Satelite by dirtbagtrashcat
#kazedoodl#yeah#THIS FIC IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO#GO READ IT!! NOW !!!#isat#isafrin#in stars and time#isat isabeau#isat siffrin#isabeau x siffrin#siffrin fanart#in stars and time isabeau#isat fanart#my art
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