#Bc my autistic ass needs to talk about it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

spiderweb-bf · 1 year

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so i went to a NHL game and i had a really good time!! however i did cry when we first got inside because there was loud live music and also issues with our tickets so i immediately got overwhelmed ✌️ but once we were away from the noise and found our seats i was chillin

then we scored our first goal and the sudden loud noise of the speakers and the crowd was a lot for me. and the people behind us spilled their drinks and ice on us and i was just sitting in my seat plugging my ears fucking sobbing. and the guy that spilled his drink on me put his hand on my shoulder trying to apologize but then that just triggered my ptsd so i started shaking and crying harder. he gave me the t shirt he got from the dudes that throw shirts at the crowd, so that was really really nice

and anyways after that i was fine because i could anticipate the goals and also they never spilled on us again. so i only cried twice and honestly? sometimes you just gotta cry it out

like whatever wires i have crossed (autism + whatever else) that makes me react to noise like this has been with me my whole life. and the ptsd has been with me for a few years. and sometimes the best possible case scenario involves dealing with all that and crying about it and like. I'm just gonna have to accept that. I'm autistic and mentally ill and sometimes that's going to interfere with my life but if I'm around the right people and have access to the things I need to calm down I'll be okay. so maybe a neurotypical person would be like "yeah I cried twice I had an awful time" but for me the standards are different so I can confidently say I cried twice and had a blast.

#like for instance if i had been with my mom tonight she would have yelled at me for crying and i would have spent the night in the car #and also going to the game was supposed to be a surprise early Christmas gift but i heard my dad talking about it on the phone so it got #spoiled for me. which worked out in the end bc he wasn't planning on telling us until we were about to leave and my autistic ass does not #do well with spontaneous adventures #additionally it gave me a head's up so i packed my stim bracelet and my headphones #so that's what i mean when i say i can get thru it if im with the right ppl and have access to what i need #plus i was texting 🌵💙🦎 during the game and when i was getting overwhelmed so that helped <3 #anyways. day in the life of an autistic person lol #now i just have to invest in noise cancelling headphones and not just regular ones lol

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hofftrans · 2 years

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mmmmmm think I wanna be loved and love someone in return

#this is very inconvenient #to use daniel sloss's jigsaw analogy my jigsaw is working super well and my career is right at the centre of it #and introducing dating and love and romance could fuck my puzzle right up #like i know im not aromantic and there are people who have been trying to ask me out or pursue me or whatever #but ive got so much baggage and also my autistic ass is so bad at knowing what i feel in regards to dating #and i dont know im rambling too much here but essentially i havent dated in years partially bc of coming out as gay during a pandemic lol #but also romantic emotional intimacy terrifies me even though i want it so bad like i just wanna feel seen and loved and feel that back #but i am very worried that i am perhaps not lovable in that way #not to mention trying to figure out how my gender identity fits into it all YIKES #anyway if youre still reading this thankyou i just need to talk about this stuff more i think instead of keeping it bottled inside

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lilgynt · 1 month

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i’m gonna COMPLAIN. SHOCKER.

#personal #it guy hasn’t said anything or made comments or has been sitting with me at lunch which cool #at most it’s like damn lost the only person i talk to at my job at all but then i remember the convos and im like yeah it’s fine #but anyway i just get a weird vibe and im mad!#i’m just mad bc i don’t go after coworkers bc one coworkers im not shitting where i eat #two it’s a very confusing process for me and i don’t need that in my work place #i didn’t ask for him to get weird i didn’t ask for him to get weird after #and now i’m stuck with this awareness and unease bc it stresses me out!#and usually dudes who are into me scare me!#but it’s just frustrating i’m already struggling (socially work wise im super duper killing it) at work #and then you throw that into the mix it’s very confusing and i feel like a bad person #and it’s one of the times i just hate being autistic #would i still be confused and annoyed if i wasn’t? probably but probably not as bad #anyway lip stuff coming today. win.#trying dating apps again #chatting with a body builder rn so that’s going alright #crazy start he wrote. i don’t want to say a poem but a rhyme about king kong and my ass #in under a minute when i said something homo sapien #i was like do i. do i unmatch for this. but also it was really witty for writing in under a minute like i cannot deny that #anyway that’s going okay usual levels of stress with talking with people from dating apps #there’s this one gorgeous guy but he is so fucking boring to talk to #one dude has just been arguing about avatar the last air bender first sentence in and that’s been relaxed engaging #and this one trans dude matched with me and talked about patches but that was a minute ago so 😔😔😔😔😔😔#girls. r scary is my answer to that

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hellfireeddiemunson · 7 months

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i have bad melted soup brain today and i hate it

#i have never really felt like just disappearing off of the face of the earth and not talking to Anyone before but i have been thinking of it #a lot today! which is wild bc not my normal isolation thought but today it seems good ahahahaha #i am just. tired. i feel like i am not listened to ever and i feel unwanted as hell lately which i know in the back of my mind i am not #unwanted but boy do it feel like that lately lol. and i’ve been back on my ‘im gonna die alone bc nobody ever will love me how i love them’#bullshit which i have Not missed but it is come back full on ! soooo fun for me hahahahahaha i love to feel miserable about being unwanted #by those around me!!!! love it sooooooooooo much weeeeeee i totally don’t wanna slam my head through a window!!!!#also just in general lately i have felt like people talking to me is a chore to them bc nobody around me has been having actual conversation #it’s all been shit ass one word or one sentence replies from everyone or they talk about what they want and not acknowledge what i said and #i don’t even know what to do about it. i just don’t even want to talk to anyone now bc i feel like they literally don’t want to speak to me #and they don’t care what i have to say clearly bc they don’t pay attention and then bring up what i said says or weeks later like i never #said anything and it’s like hm wow yeah i fucking told you about that??? maybe if you pay attention you’d have known that but it’s fine !!!!#I’m just. tired of it. i am fully understanding of everyone having lives and doing their own things they need to do. but this is like. fr #different. like it feels so much different than that and i don’t get it and i don’t know what to do !!!!!!! i feel like i’m going Nuts #anyways if any of you wanna stick me through a meat grinder i would be forever thankful and you have the rights to take anything i own after #what this boils down to is my autistic ass is like everyone is not doing their normal thing!!! everyone is off their normal talking schedule #with me!!!! this must mean they fucking want me dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!! bc they went off script/pattern and not in a way they have in the past #that indicated that they just are struggling to reach out! this is different and bad and they want you out of their life!!!!!!!#which is ridiculous but what the fuck am i to do about it bc i will be thinking this until i basically am told otherwise by these people. so #that’s soooo much fun i love brains they’re so silly i wish i could jump at a wall and stick to it until i just slowly peel off and onto the #floor. anyways. hope everyone else has a good night

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hydrossity-zone · 1 year

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The Velocity AU is about the process of grief. Its about trauma. Its about finding yourself. Its about identity. Its about how the circumstances of one’s birth are irrelevant and you make your own destiny. Its something that can be so personal. Its about learning to better yourself. Its about found family and the healing process when you confide in others. Its a tragedy. Its a hopeful story. Its about finding the light in a world of darkness and despair. Its about interpersonal relationships. Its about gay divorce. Its about nature vs. nurture. Its about making your own purpose in the world. Its about choosing who you want to be. Its about fighting god. Its about acceptance. Mostly its about me playing barbie dolls with the sonic lore and making my ocs hit eachother with sticks

#gonna vaguepost about the au again sorry. I want to talk about it so bad but its NOT READY and I know I keep saying that #but its true. I need to draw like a shitbillion things if Im ever gonna explain it properly theres a Lot #I should clarify Ive been working on this for years. all the worldbuilding Ive made for this au #easy exceeds like 50k words. this is its own fleshed-out world and everything! and I cant talk about it here yet bc there still isnt enough!#fuck!#but yeah its not just a simple alternate universe. I cant even call it your standard 200 years later au bc by god its not standard at all #my autistic ass has been writing a 200 year timeline and Im practically finished besides polishing a few things in the Lore™️#there is. so much Lore.#but anyway #itll be here soon I prommy #velocity tag #hydro.txt

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7ndipity · 2 months

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Them With An Autistic S/o

Ot7 x Reader

Summary: How the members would handle/react to their S/o being on the spectrum.

Warnings: Mentions of sensory issues, feeling over/under stimulated, depression, meltdowns, stimming.

A/N: Thanks to the lovely anon who requested this! This is a list I’ve actually wanted to write for a while, but I’d been slightly nervous/unsure about it. But as someone who’s also on the spectrum, I know how much comfort similar posts from other blogs have brought me! I also tried to keep this one a bit lighter, since someone asked for a separate list about meltdowns/shutdowns, but if there’s any specific reactions/hcs like this that you guys want, let me know! (Please note that these are based off my own knowledge/experience, so I’m sorry if they don’t fit for everyone)

Masterlist

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Jin:

I feel like he’d be slightly confused and worried at first because he’s not sure what to do/how to help you, but once you explain a bit more, he gets a lot more comfortable, and really is such a good caregiver when he needs to be.

Catches onto your different stims pretty quickly and what each one means.

Like, y’all have whole conversations solely through funny little hums and stim noises.

Really good at reading and matching your mood/energy. You wanna talk about the Mayans nonstop for two hours? Cool! You want to just sit silently and do nothing? Also cool!

He’s really good at normalizing your symptoms and making them seem like nbd(because to him, they aren’t) Food sensitivities? He’s got them too! You hate loud noises and crowds? Same Honey, let’s get the fuck outta here! He knows they’re not quite the same thing, of course, but if it makes you feel more comfortable and safe being your true, unmasked self with him, then that’s all that matters to him.

Really good at calming you down when you feel overwhelmed or on the verge of meltdown.

Does his absolute best to bring your mood up whenever you’re struggling or feeling really down, pulling out his best dad jokes(even if they don’t make sense to you), bringing your favorite snacks, etc.

Yoongi:

I think he would handle it really well. Does his research after you tell him, and asks you about it casually during dates/hangouts.

So fucking respectful of your boundries. If you prefer to have your own space, he’s totally fine letting you do your own thing. If you need more closeness and cuddles, he’s all over that too, letting you sit right next to him while he works.

Not only lets you rant about your special interests, but makes the effort to take interest in them and asks questions. Randomly buys you little things related to them.

He’s so calming and soothing when you’re feeling stressed or overstimulated, understanding whenever you randomly need rest or quiet time(stress nap buddies)

Keeps things like extra sunglasses and headphones in his bag for you, just in case you forget yours.

Would have a lot of fun if you have audio stims, letting you listen to his new songs because your reactions and enthusiasm are so cute to him. Makes you panning audios as gifts.

Always there to look out for you whenever executive dysfunction decides to kick your ass. Washes the dishes, doing the laundry, restocking your safe foods, etc. He would also be really good at body doubling.

Hobi:

I honestly think he would be really good with an S/O on the spectrum. Like, he literally designed Mang, who is soo ND coded like omg😭, so I think he would be able to understand you really well.

(if you haven’t seen the videos of him talking about Mang’s personality and character traits during the re-design process last year, pls go watch them, I almost cried)

Loves buying you new fidgets and stim toys whenever he finds new ones to try(he even has a collection of chewlery that he wears bc he thinks they’re neat).

Is really good reading you and distracting you when you start to get overstimulated or anxious, sometimes noticing before you do.

Lowkey protective over you in spaces and situations he knows are stressful for you, positioning himself next to you whenever he spots things he knows bother you.

You know how Yoongi described him as a vitamin? That’s how it is for you now too.💛

He’s so stimmy himself, so he would find a lot of your stims really relatable and endearing. Like, if you start happy stimming, he can’t help but join right in, bouncing or squealing with you. It makes him so happy that you feel comfortable enough with him to share those parts of yourself with him.

Namjoon:

Instantly super supportive when you told him, making an effort to research on his own, as well as listening to your personal experiences to understand as much as possible.

Happily sits and lets you info-dump about your special interests. He honestly loves seeing you so passionate and animated about whatever you’re talking about and loves getting a glimpse into how your mind works(it was probably during one of these moments that he realized he was in love with you)

Surprisingly good pebbler, he’s always finding cool rocks or shells for your collections.

Doesn’t mind speaking for you on days when you’re nonverbal.

The sweetest when you’re feeling overstimulated. He closes all the curtains to make it dark and cozy and sits with you, talking as softly as needed or not talking at all, tapping your hand gently now and then to let you know he’s still there.

Soo protective over you, almost to a fault at times. Like, you might have to scold him once or twice about babying you, but he really doesn’t mean to, he just wants to make sure you’re safe and happy.

The world feels a lot less scary tho with him next you. You know if you need anything, he’s got your back.

Jimin:

The softest boi🥺 He was honestly a little scared when you first told him, because he didn’t want to do anything wrong and was worried he wouldn’t be ‘good’ at looking after you, but he quickly relaxed and grew more confident as he learned more from you.

The best comforter when you’re feeling overwhelmed or depressed, full of quiet reassurances and long hugs(if you’re okay with those). He’ll gladly cuddle with you under your weighted blanket for however long you need to feel better.

Literally set up a little “nest” for you at his place with a like beanbag chair and your favorite types of blankets/pillows, so you have your own place to just ‘be’ and recoup when you need it.

Carries fidget toys and sensory aids like sunglasses and headphones with him at all times, just in case you need them.

Really good at communicating with you on days when you’re nonverbal, whether through texts or little notes(which he always adds little doodles on to make your smile😊)

Makes sure you never feel guilty or like a burden to him for letting him in on those tougher days. If anything, they make him love you even more because of the trust you have in him.

It really makes him feel so proud and happy inside that you find so much comfort in his presence and that he gets to take care of you.💜

Taehyung:

Another that I think would be particularly good with a neurodivergent S/O. Like, everyone jokes about how he’s weird, so I think he’d love that you’re both your kind of own unique kinds of ‘weird’.

Happily rewatches your favorite comfort shows/films with you, and speaks in fluent film quotes with you.

Loves when you fidget and stim with his hands or fingers.

If you like pressure stims, he’s a dream come true. Like, the man’s a living weighted blanket, so when you basically give him a doctor's note for cuddles? He’s never gonna let you go.

As relaxed as he might come across sometimes tho, he’s super observant of your stims and triggers and takes it so seriously whenever you start feeling overwhelmed or stressed.

It doesn’t matter where you are or what you’re doing, if you need a break, he’s getting you to a quiet place where you can sit and just recalibrate.

Rivals Jin and Yoongi for top spot in the acts of service department on your bad days, making sure you eat properly, doing any household chores that need done. He even learned how to wash your weighted blanket so you don’t have to.

Jungkook:

Was definitely a little lost and overwhelmed when you first explained everything to him, but he really takes it in stride and tries to learn as much as possible to help make things easier for you where he can.

The King of comfort squeezes. Like you’ve seen his arms, he gives the best hugs, I just know it(especially on those “the weighted blanket isn't enough, I need a hydraulic press” days)

Loves learning about your special interests. Like, It’s no longer just your special interest, it’s our special interest. He’s even studying and finding things for it on his own to surprise you with.

Honestly plays with some of your fidget toys more than you do, lol! You might even end up giving him a few of his favorites😊

Gets super happy and smiley whenever you get echolalia of his songs.

Another member of the protective squad, ain’t no bad stimuli getting to his baby if he can help it!

The gentlest with you when you're overstimulated or having a tough day. Anything you need, he’ll do without question. All he cares about is making sure that you feel safe and comfortable🥺

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @feminympho @a-gayish-unicorn @dfqcsqueen @mother2monsters @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz

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moldy-cheese-being · 8 months

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Scollace (comic specifically) headcanon things bc i can

Oh kinda implied nsft in like onw sentence by the way lol

★ Scott is incredibly clingy. This mans love language is physical touch and it is VERY apparent. He cannot go two seconds without touching Wallace in some little way. Whether it be full on cuddling or just having their shoulders kinda touch, it is absolutely REQUIRED or Scott will literally die (no he won't he's just dramatic.)

★ Wallace is not that clingy. In fact, he doesn't even really like being touched. Of course, he's willing to hold his boyfriend while watching a movie, or sleeping, or whenever scott wants, but he doesn't need it the way scott does.

✦ Wallace is actually a huge fuckin' lier. He absolutely adores scotts clingyness, and will literally initiate the physical affection if scott doesn't. The second Scott gets home, Wallace wraps his arms around his boyfriend's waist, kisses his forehead, and asks how his day was.

★ Wallace likes listening to music or podcasts while he cooks and cleans, and if he's not really in the mood for any of his usuals, he'll just ask Scott a question about some niche Nintendo fact, and scott will instantly start info-dumping. Wallace genuinely doesn't understand how his autistic ass boyfriend manages to always have new facts, but its convenient and adorable so yknow

★ Scott literally BEGGED on his hands and knees (in both connotations...) for Wallace to not tell Stacy until Scott decided to. Of course, Wallace entirely ignored this.

✦ Well at least Wallace claims to have ignored it. Really, he just got a little too gay while talking to Stacy and accidentally let it slip.

★ When they got together, wallace let up on the drinking a lot. Not because Scott said anything, but because he just didn't feel the need to go out drinking anymore. Before they started dating, most of Wallace's free time was spent hanging out with friends, while the other bit was spent with random dudes. Once he stopped being able to have those casual relationships, he just kinda didn't need to go to bars and clubs.

(Yo! So i posted this, like, months ago, but since then ive learned how to use a ✨comma✨ so i slammed those little guys where they needed to be. Hopefully my faggotry is now comprehensible lol)

#scott pilgrim vs the world #spvtw #scott pilgrim #wallace wells #scollace #scott pilgrim x wallace wells #for all of my new scott Pilgrim followers :33 #most of this is probably ooc and doesn't fit the canon of the comics but oh well haha #autistic scott #autistic scott pilgrim

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viaviv124 · 5 months

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So i hc Luigi as autistic and me and @kaihoney just talked about smth and i need to share it with tumblr + expand on it a bit

So Luigi definetly has a huge collection of Rubiks Cubes. And when he moves in with Bowser he has like 2 huge ass boxes filled with nothing but cubes. Bowser is suprised and confused, maybe a bit concerned. Now, i also think the Mario World doesnt have the same medical terms we have to a certain extend so Bowser might not be familiar with the term "autism". So the conversation would maybe go something like this:

Bowser: why do you have so many... Colorful cubes?

Luigi: hm? Oh! They're Rubiks cubes and i like collecting them! Mario jokingly says it's because i'm acoustic.

Bowser, even more concerned: 'acoustic'...? Like a guitar?

Luigi, chuckling nervously: ah, no! I'm autistic and because the words sound similar people joke around, calling it 'acoustic'.

Bowser: what's 'autistic'??

Luigi: easily explained, funky neurons. My brain is connected in weird ways that most people's brains arent.

At this point Bowser is beyond confused and Luigi gives him a rundown of what autism is, essentially also using the oppertunity to explain how it affects him personally, assuming it's important since they live together now and it would be bad if he had a breakdown every two days. Funnily enough Bowser understands immediately, pointing out other people they know who fit Luigis description of autism, either saying how it's called in the mushroom kingdom/darklands etc or going "that has a name where you come from?" in the latter scenario Luigi would sort of akwardly explain how in his world it's some sort of mental disability, that you have to go to a therapist to get it diagnosed etc. This is news to Bowser bc i imagine that world being way more accepting to stuff like that in general (stinkers are everywhere but like you get the point).

#super mario luigi #super mario #bowser #bowuigi #bowser x luigi #luigi #luigi x bowser

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 11 months

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WIBTA if I told my dad's girlfriend about his Tinder? He doesn't use it when they're dating, only when they argue.

i (21 NB, closeted as F) currently live alone with my dad (57 M) while I study in college. My dad has been dating this person (52 F) for about 10 years. They met through work and started dating when I was around 12. They say they get along well, but they argue often, and have broken up multiple times in the past. They do not live together because her family dislikes my dad, including his girlfriend's children (20 and 15 year olds). I also have a bad relationship with him. He does provide good quality food, supplies, and shelter, and does favors (according to him) like cooking or not nagging me for staying up late to study.

The reasons I don't like him is because we share next to no political opinions, he constantly engages in toxic behavior such as harassing people over tiktok where he spends most of his free time, and holds really misogynistic opinions, such as that women should not talk to men unless they intend to engage sexually or romantically with them. He is also very racist (which is bad bc part of my family is indigenous!!) homophobic (i am closeted to him, he doesnt even know i had a girlfriend while my mother does), transphobic, and ableist (he has joked about doing harm or killing autistic children I worked with, has called my half-sibling with an ID a black sheep "jokingly", and i suspect i am autistic myself, to top it off).... These all probably sound like valid reasons to hate him. I just state them to be clear that I do have a negative bias. The only reason I don't rebel is because I want to study without many disturbances and,. He is just a pain in the ass and stressful to be around, but not actively harmful. He also denies every claim I make about him when I do call him out, so i have to confirm with my brother or bystanders to know I'm not making these things up)

Ok so. facts: Every time he breaks up with his girlfriend, he vents it all to me while they stay apart for a few weeks because he doesn't have other people to vent to. So, whenever they break up, he installs Tinder, matches with random women (he does not look at their profiles and just accept everything until a match happens), then shows me their photos to make fun of them. He usually does nothing serious about those relationships, except the one time he held a long distance relationship with a woman in a different country for a few months in 2018 and he expected me to advise him on that while the original girlfriend was making efforts for them to get back together.

I have talked to the girlfriend about my own problems with him and she validates them too. She is a sweet woman, but really non-confrontational. She insists that the two of them get along well, that he does respect her and love her a lot when they're together and she does want to be with him long term, but struggles because her children and family really don't like my dad and avoid him when he visits. I really do not think she deserves such a prick and if she doesn't know he uses dating apps when they break up then... I think she should know, so she can choose what to do about him.

I really DO wanna tell her, but I am afraid of the consequences for her and me for snitching, and while I dislike my dad for well established reasons, I do still need to rely on him, which is why i don't intend to give this info away. I guess more than anything I just want validation in disliking him and whether making this move would be too far. I'm willing to wait until graduating next year to pull it off from a safer distance.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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trih-hearteater · 3 months

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Hannibal Lecter canonical fursona is this fucking ass ugly cat — A Ted Talk;

hi guys welcome to my ted talk, today we're going to talk about the Cats & Dogs franchise, which is obviously inspired by the Hannibal films... for some reason.

I could write about how the film's plots are similar, or about references and metaphors but I'll do much better and just compare Mister Tinkles with Hannibal Lecter, bc i think that we as a community need to talk about how the fandom ALWAYS draw Hannibal as a elegant sphynx when he is obviously this devil-looking creature

• Similarities;

1 - He lives in a fucking gothic vitorian castle and belongs to a rich dead guy name MASON??? Like, Mason Verger???😭😭

2 - He's a dramatic bitch like he's trying to dominate the world and murder a entire family just because he doesn't like dogs??? HE DOESNT EVEN LIVE WITH ONE😭 he was just feeling silly 😜 and also crime reunions on fancy dinners parties like u are fooling no one we know what u are

3 - Hes has a autistic crime partner look at this cat i swear to god — THEY LISTENING RADIO ABOVE MASON DEAD BODY LIKE😭😭😭😭 they are manhunter coded

4 - Hannigram cat toxic yaoi angst mizumono ending 💔💔💔 I've been laughing at this scene for hours now help

5 - this whole scene of him being interrogated by “Catherine” Starling and psychologically bullying the other dogs everything here is self explanatory

6 - As someone who has a fat furry white cat, this fucking type of cat are fugitive criminals it is their nature, my cat once set fire to my neighbor's house and came home with his two front paws covered in dark ash as if nothing had happened 🥰 soyeah anakin if u are reading this i love u

7 - In the end they run away too together but I don't even want to talk about it bc willcat did cultural appropriation out of nowhere and I got jumpscared

Anyway, It's fucking hilarious for the reason that some writer just said "Huh, what if we put a cannibal cat in a children's franchise??" And everyone thought it was a great idea, I would have loved to have been there when that decision was made bc it was iconic.

#hannibal lecter #hannibal #hannigram #silence of the lambs #Cat Hannibal #cats and dogs #I was thinking about this for days #hannibal nbc #cat #ugly cats really ugly cats

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