Things Mormons at BYU did after I came out as nonbinary
(Multiple people) asked me my pronouns, and consistently used them.
Roommate made me a tie to wear to church
When I auditioned for a play, I was cast in a male role (as requested)
Student director offered to change the pronouns in the script to make them match my own if I got cast as a certain character (I didn't get into this play but the offer was nice)
Ward Choir director happily let me sing with the tenors, and the rest of the tenors encouraged me even when some of the deeper notes were hard for me to hit.
(multiple people) complimented me on the androgynous outfits I wore to church (including my former mission president)
Asked me genuine questions about my gender, or my faith, and really listened when I shared.
Along with lots of other kind gestures that helped me feel safe and at home. I told many people that my boyfriend was a transman (which in the eyes of BYU would make us a same-sex couple) and the responses I got were:
People were happy for me
my roommates let my boyfriend stay over at our apartment for a couple weeks
Lots of people want to come to our wedding
Absolutely nobody got anywhere close to outing me or reporting me to the Honor Code office.
Obviously, I was not ideal, I had some negative experiences too, and some people who would consistently misgender me who I just didn't feel comfortable correcting. And I don't want to ignore the difficult experiences many queer people have a BYU. I know that it can be dangerous and terrifying.
But I wanted to share my experience to say that there is hope for change. There are people who are happy to support you. There are people who will fight alongside you for the inclusivity BYU and the LDS faith in general so desperately need. When I first realized I was queer at BYU I immediately distrusted everyone, and I missed out on a lot of friendship and joy because I was so afraid people would discriminate against me that I never gave them a chance.
Irony is: the woman isn’t even supportive of her child: She told the story in the context of trying to talk the kid out of transitioning and come back to the church.
But just being related to a trans person is enough to set these people off. Regardless of your views on the topic.
One of my brothers shared this to my family group chat trying to make it sound like a bad thing, but tbh I think this sounds great? Like forward progress? Like, last I checked any BYU students having LGBTQ+ focused meetings had to meet off campus somewhere, so this is excellent. Well, minus if the guy really doesn't have permission to host meetings on campus oops.
Okay, now I'm curious. What is y'all's advice for trying tea/coffee for the first time? Like a particular cafe? A certain brand? I know literally nothing other than that like. Starbucks exists. Help.
Given how the infamous "musket fire" speech has not been referred to since it was delivered, I thought this would be one of those things that would quietly be buried.
"How can we say we weep at the harm done to God's children when we are holding the muskets?"🔥🔥🔥
Trust me, queer people have shed many more tears over what has been preached at us from church leaders.
Despite having an Office of Inclusion, BYU does means not want to queer people. BYU values the institution over people.
BYU needs loving and affirming faculty, staff, and students. For all the queer students who will choose BYU, and all those who are allies, I honor your decision and know you have an important work to do. There is no obligation to attend BYU and do the work to make it better, I honor the choices made by those to not attend this school and instead find somewhere more inclusive.
Hey incoming queer byu students! I’m going to be helping with education week in the library, if any of y’all need anything or just a friend to lean on, I’ll be wearing a rainbow friendship bracelet so people can find me and you are not alone! Also you should come to back to school pride, it’s a wonderful experience and I’ll be there too in drag. Byu as an institution sucks but there’s a lot of us around and you don’t have to be afraid to go up to us :)