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zombie-eats-world · 7 months

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Crocodad Theory: The not-so-Crack-pot Theory.

Making this post in order to replace my old Crocodad thesis since I think I can do better now. Plus I was still using the old theory name then and I dislike seeing it pinned on my tumblr now. You can find that older post HERE if you desire to!

Crocodad theory, chances are you have heard about this theory if you are even slightly invested in the One Piece fandom. But despite its infamy, and outside its stanch believers like myself, it's mostly considered a crack theory and used for a laugh.

Now let's be clear, Crocodad theory is not a crack theory. A crack or crack-pot theory is more of a headcanon built on vibes, it's a fun idea made up out of thin air and isn't really serious. If the Crocodad theory was a crack theory it would have evaporated into the nether by now. It's over a decade old, after all, and yet it persists to this day! That is because the Crocodad theory has real evidence from the canon, the One Piece offshoots, and maybe even Oda himself.

If you weren't aware of the Crocodad theory, sometimes lovingly called Dadodile, let me summarize it very succinctly. The theory is that Crocodile is a transgender man and gave birth to Luffy. Crocodile is Luffy's other father and his birthing parent. If you think that sounds ridiculous or even hilarious, let me walk you through it because I assure you- that is intentional.

Let us begin where the theory began... Impel Down.

The possibility for this theory was born in 2009 with these panels:

The simple fact that Ivankov exists and that he knows Crocodile, from "when he was just starting out" mind you, makes this not only possible but probable.

What other "secret" could Ivakov be speaking of here? It's definitely not his weakness to water, that would just be bad storytelling. It could be that Crocodile is the child of Rocks which is possible considering we now know Ivankov was at the Gods Valley incident. But if I could speak as a writer for a moment, it would really be a waste for an author to introduce a character that can change genders and then bring back one of the first big villains like Crocodile, AND THEN connect the two with the mention of weakness but not make that secret that Crocodile had once been a woman. Or even at least a part of the reason.

But if that reasoning falls through for you, here is some in-canon evidence for the idea that Crocodile is transgender:

First of all, the agents' code names are so gendered: Every single digit agent is Mr with a Mrs, or Ms partner.

Crocodile’s name. His moniker is different from almost every other powerful pirate the story introduces to us. He isn’t just Desert King Crocodile, he is Desert King Sir Crocodile. Again it is oddly pronoun-centered. As if he is trying to remind people that he’s a guy.

The introduction of Bon Clay. Bon Clay is our first canon queer character in One Piece. He makes mention of being a girl many times and feels like a joke character when we first meet him. But as we know in One Piece, a pirate crew is a reflection of the Captain. Crocodile isn’t prejudiced to queer people like Bon Clay alludes to others being a few times. Crocodile even allowed Bon Clay to be both the male and female of his team!

Next up was the reveal of Baby Crocodile and how it’s deliberating ambiguous what gender Crocodile is. In every other Warlord's childhood look reveal, their gender is obvious, so why was Crocodile left out of that?

Then of course we have Gold Roger's execution, and how almost everyone got a reaction panel. But not Crocodile. No, we only see the back of his head. Oda has shown that he loves to get every single character's reaction to major events, sometimes to a fault. So why is he trying so hard to hide Crocodile from us? It just isn’t Oda’s style to leave someone out unless there is some kind of secret he wants to build up too. Now be sure to keep this in mind for later.

Last but certainly not least is just how much of an absolute troll Oda is. This will not be the last time I bring this up, Oda is a HUGE troll. He loves to play to his favorite fan theories and he decides most everything on how funny it is. And wouldn't it be funny if the first antagonist in the Grandline was secretly the birth parent of Luffy?

I mean just look at this! Oda, you absolute troll.

Bottom line: Trans Crocodile is more likely than not.

But this is where a lot of people decide the rest of this theory is crack, they take Trans!Crocodile and leave Crocodad out for reasons I honestly can't understand. Despite that, Cracodad has just as much if not more evidence than the Transgender part of this theory.

Before I begin I would like everyone reading to keep a few things in mind. All throughout the Impel down arc and the journey to Marineford, and even the first few chapters into Marineford, Crocodile could not have given a shit about Luffy, Ace, or the war at all. He did not care who won the war or if everyone involved died. He came to the battlefield for the sole purpose of killing Whitebeard. PERIOD. He was never once shown reacting with any concern when Luffy began facing down anyone strong. Not even Magellan. Crocodile had been around Luffy, seeing him do inspiring things for a massive amount of chapters by the time we get to Marineford, and yet Crocodile literally didn't care if Luffy lived or died, he just wanted to fight Whitebeard.

With that clear let's move on to what happened after Luffy's father was revealed to the world in Marineford. This moment is where the most obvious evidence first came about:

When Sengoku announces Luffy's father to the world we get many reaction shots, but once again Crocodile is conveniently missing from the lineup. He even disappears for a whole chapter! The young man who took down his decade-long plan to take over Alabasta just got announced to be the most wanted man in the world son, and we get no reaction from Crocodile... its suspicious.

Crocodile stopped Ace’s execution: Now Crocodile explains this by saying he ‘didn’t want to let Sengoku have the pleasure of victory’ but seriously? What kind of petty ass BS reasoning is that?! Crocodile has dreams and ambitions, and yet he gives up trying to be the one to take down Whitebeard to randomly save someone he canonly mocks in Impel Down? Someone he doesn’t care about. Some people will tell you it’s because Luffy inspired him like Luffy does many others, but what exactly is Luffy doing in Marineford that he didn’t in Impel Down or even Alabasta? Nothing. That means Crocodile has an entire about-face for no believable reason while completely off-screen. Which we've already said isn't Oda's style.

Daz and Crocodile face Mihawk to help Luffy: When Daz blocks Mihawk’s strike, Luffy questions it. Daz answers: It’s an order from above! That means Crocodile ordered Daz to specifically protect Luffy. Again, why? What reason did he have to do that? If this was some latent Crocodile has been inspired™️ moment, why wouldn’t Oda show it? Oda loves to hype up those moments, and loves to detail it all to the smallest piece. But Crocodile just randomly decided to have his main man Daz look out for this person that he COULDN’T HAVE GIVEN A CRAP ABOUT JUST TEN EPISODES BEFORE does not fit within the story. Then, right after Daz blocks Mihawk, Crocodile appears out of the woodwork to block another attack.

When Mihawk questions why he’d protect Luffy, Crocodile’s only response is “I’m not in the best mood now, Mihawk, you better watch yourself.” It’s interesting that he has no reason, none, he just comments that he’s in a shit mood. Maybe because he just found out he once stabbed his own child in the gut and left him to die?!

Crocodile vs Akainu: The brother killing Lava Man™️ is probably the most dangerous person in the war. He has no mercy, no morals, no restraint. So the fact that as Luffy is lying comatose and weak, with Jimbe slumped over him, Akainu about to deliver the final blow, Crocodile coming out of nowhere once again is so telling.

The fact is: Crocodile went above and beyond to save Luffy. That final stand against Akainu is so powerful. Crocodile doesn’t just save Luffy, he rushes to Luffy's aid, slicing through Akainu and reassembles to stand protectively between them. He did not need to do this at all. Oda didn’t need to have him do this either!

There were plenty of other characters that could have essentially done the same exact thing, but Oda chose to have Crocodile, someone who shouldn’t have been on Luffy’s side at all, save his life in the final moment.

Lastly, without a word, Crocodile uses Sables to get Luffy to Law’s ship. He risked his life, faced down the one person who could kill him without a second thought, and sweeps Luffy away to safety without any stated reason at all. In fact, everything he says is deliberately vague. Crocodile doesn’t believe in loyalty, he dumps people if they are weak (see; Alabasta Crocodile vs Luffy desert fight) so his line of “you gotta protect the one you wanna protect! Don’t let them have their way!” Feels so out of character. Crocodile has to have a reason for this odd behavior. And no, it doesn’t end there! In the defense of Luffy, Crocodile has an awesome and powerful moment where he stands in unity with all the Whitebeard commanders. HIS ENEMIES. Crocodile stands in unity with the people, he himself stated he hated more than anything, for Luffy!

These are the moments that alerted people to what would soon be called the Crocomom theory, now called Crocodad. But just because it began there doesn't mean there wasn't foreshadowing from before Marineford.

Let's go over all of that now:

First to talk about is once again Crocodile's crew. Miss Father's Day debuted in episode 124 of the anime and chapter 205 of the manga. She has a green amphibian theme to her, which is interesting because she is a woman with the moniker Father's Day while also having a theme of an animal that is famous for being able to change its gender. Her debut episode even has her introduced along with the reveal that Luffy's using his blood to fight Crocodile.

The next point is something Oda has never explained. Crocodile has strange relationships with children. From hiring a sixteen-year-old Miss Goldenweek, leaving her out of the Mr. 3 assassination order, and her history of actually sinking Crocodile's ships before getting hired, all the way to how Crocodile lectured Luffy in their fight. It just had the cadence of a parent. Not even Luffy's parent, just a parent. He lectures like someone who has experience with children.

Next, Luffy does not look like Dragon. That is a direct quote from Luffy in the manga. But you know who he does look like?

That's right! Luffy looks a lot like Crocodile. If you need more convincing on this, there is a great post by Dashevacotton that puts together many of the best canon pictures of Luffy dressed up like Crocodile. That post is here!

Crocodile and Luffy are incredibly similar. Not just in looks, but in personality, and in their general life.

These two have so much in common. From having a way with animals, to the amount of unadulterated loyalty they've inspired in their crews, all the way to the cadence of their speech.

Crocodile and Luffy even have a similarly goofy reaction to seeing the underground passage to the Alabasta Poneglyph.

Episode 123, episode time 13:16 Crocodile spots the entrance and laughs, "Ha, now I see secret stairs." Also in episode 123, episode time 20:47 Luffy looks around and spots the secret stairs. "That hole... it looks gator-ish."

Even what we know of Crocodile's backstory is that he had a rapid rise to fame just like Luffy by being a rookie who came in and beat down non-canon characters like Douglas Bullet to the shock of the world.

Next, let's bring up an earlier point: Oda-sensei is a mega troll.

This isn't exactly new information, Oda once deflected to bringing up a dick fight instead of answering if Zoro or Sanji was stronger. He is a Troll. He loves wordplay, and he likes to hint hint nudge nudge us all day long. Just look at Oda having Sanji call himself a prince in Alabasta as a joke, only to realize years later that he actually was a prince.

It's because of Oda's tendency to play around and make knowing jokes we've gotten some pretty compelling evidence for the Crocodad theory.

First would be the wordplay!

-Crocodile is closely linked to a Bananawani-> Monkeys like Banana -> Monkey D. Dragon is a reptilian Monkey attracted to Banana reptile. Fight me - A 'crocodile smile' is a term most often used to mean a fake or ingenuine smile. Crocodile's scar has been liked to look like a 'crocodile smile', which would mean Crocodile is the only character that always has a smile on his face. What a fun bit of wordplay to foreshadow the birth parent of Joyboy!

Then there is this SBS alongside the One Piece School spin-off manga by Sohei Koj.

What a great way to get out of revealing Luffy's parentage without actually revealing it!

And of course, we have the One Piece Mafia Theatre episode of the anime.

Oda would certainly make this canon just because of his troll tendencies. This is a hilarious theory because the story supports it yet only a fringe group believes in it. It's hilarious and therefore it's probably true.

Lastly, the symbolism makes this theory truly great.

I've already mentioned how Crocodile's scar being a 'crocodile smile' and thus giving him a permanent smile on his face would make him the most meaningful candidate for Luffy's birth parent. Joyboy, our Sun God Nika, was born from a man with a permanent fake smile; who is also named after an animal with the world's biggest smile.

It's just such a perfect setup, it makes my writer's heart swell.

Since Oda has stated a mother in One Piece would stop the adventure, it would fit that the first major villain in the Grandline to try and stop Luffy's adventure ended up being the man who gave birth to Luffy.

If we are going to speak of symbolism, I'd be remiss not to mention what a crocodile spiritually symbolizes. I really don't think I need to explain why adaptability, creation, ambiguity, and duality mean so much to this theory.

This theory could die or be confirmed any day now that we've entered a God's Valley flashback. I will love it either way but truly, honestly, I believe this. I hope I convinced a few of you to. If you are interested in the succinct list of Crocodad evidence that post is Here!

So in conclusion...

Crocodad is canon!

#one piece fandom #one piece #sir crocodile #anime #dadodile #monkey d luffy #fan theory #until the oda plops luffys mom in front of me i will believe this theory #theories #there is literally no other explanation for marineford without dadodile #luffy literally looks like crocodile #not a crack theory #long reads #long post

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butterflywithsass · 5 days

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Watched Dead Boy Detectives last night and I’m obsessed. If you like the queerness of good omens, but with more gore, and in the same universe as the Sandman (death and despair both show up) if you like dark academia gay boys, if you like ghosts, or paranormal stuff, or demons, if you like cats — lemme tell you this show is for you.

So, like, there’s these two ghost boys who are best friends but also gay for each other but also a secret third thing and their names are Edwin and Charles.

Edwin Payne was a demonic sacrifice in 1916 and as spend literal decades in hell but escaped. He’s a repressed Victorian gay who has zero charisma but every single man he meets becomes obsessed with him and wants to sleep with him except the boy he actually likes which is his best friend Charles. His entire character arc is about gay panic and getting over his internalized homophobia — he wears bow ties!!!! He doesn’t know what a hand job is. He’s literally the perfect tumblr blorbo. His superpower is getting tortured. He’s so sassy! His sexual awakening comes at the hands of a cat king and his first kiss is with a crow.

Charles died in like the 90s or something I’m not sure. He’s so optimistic and sunshine but also so full of rage. He’s the most supportive guy 100/10 would trust him with anything. He doesn’t like to talk about his issues. When confronted with the inexorable monsters of hell he solved the problem with a Molotov cocktail. I love him and his single earring he’s a golden retriever who would rather stay on earth with best friend than move on to a peaceful afterlife. His jawline is impeccable he can’t not press a big red button when he sees it.

Crystal Palace I wasn’t sold on because I thought she’d get between my boys but she actually so cool and I developed a bit of a crush let’s be honest I have a thing for curly haired witchy girls, she’s a physic with amnesia and a demon stalker ex boyfriend people stare at her when she hangs out with the boys cause it looks like she’s talking to herself. Everyone she knows thinks she’s insane. She’s a reformed mean girl.

Niko Sisaki I was a little iffy about because it felt like they were gonna go with the bimbo anime Asian girl but turns out she just had a parasite that made pink hearts float around her. She’s so weird she tries to help Edwin with his gay problem by introducing him to explicit gay fan fiction, she tries to get her landlord to date, she likes cool rocks. She has two tiny people trapped in a jar in her room. Her friendship with Edwin is everything. She’s ghosting her mom.

Jenny. I love her so much, she feels so safe which is weird because she chops meat and all her clothes are covered in blood. Everything about just screams big sister and her character arc is learning to embrace that. She goes on one date and almost gets murdered.

Monty. He’s literally a crow turned into a boy. He’s down bad for Edwin. He’s a secret honeypot agent for an evil witch. He has the most adorable smile, the whole time I was expecting him to be an agent of Morpheus. He’s obsessed with astrology.

The Night nurse originally annoyed me a bit (in a good way) I just wanted to get rid of her. When Charles punted her into a giant sea monster I clapped. Then it just got weird and I love it.

The cat king. He’s such a creep, but honestly, I love that for him. He has some of the best lines and he just exudes cat. He’s a classic fairy tale trickster, he a nuisance for the whole season, he’s central to the plot, he’s constantly hitting on Edwin.

Esther. She’s a archetypal evil witch. She gives off mystic trash vibes. She’s obsessed with beauty and revenge. She’s shamelessly horrible. She feeds kids to her giant snake. She literally can’t die.

All in all, I think I’m gonna have brain rot over this for the next year, go and watch it.

#neil gaiman #dead boy detectives #dead boy detective agency #edwin payne #charles rowland #gay men #slaps Edwin “this bad boy can fit so much suffering #why are my fictional crushes always repressed Victorian boys who are too gay to ever look at me?

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wen-kexing-apologist · 8 months

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Bengiyo's Queer Cinema Syllabus

For those who are not aware, I have decided to run the gauntlet of @bengiyo’s Queer Cinema Syllabus and have officially started Unit 2: Race, Disability, and Class. The films in Unit 2 are: The Way He Looks (2014), Being 17 (2016), Naz and Maalik (2015), The Obituary of Tunde Johnson (2019), Margarita With a Straw (2014), My Beautiful Laundrette (1985), Brother to Brother (2004), and Beautiful Thing (1996)

Today I will be writing about

Naz and Maalik (2015) dir. Jay Dockendorf

[Available on Amazon, Run Time- 1:24, Language: English]

Summary: Two closeted Muslim teens hawk goods across Brooklyn and struggle to come clean about their sexuality, as their secretive behavior leads them unknowingly into the cross-hairs of the War on Terror.

Cast: Kerwin Johnson Jr. as Naz Curtiss Cook Jr. as Maalik

Another great film down, and plenty more to go. I very deeply appreciate the authenticity of this film in the way it highlights religion and the shittiness of cops.

I like that there is a kind of war against the older ways and the newer ways between Naz and Maaling. Naz appears to be much more religious than Maalik, he wears a kufi, he gives alms, he tries to pray five times a day. Not to say that Maalik isn’t religious, but he isn’t as hung up on what is and is not haram, he’s more comfortable in his sexuality, more willing to engage in PDA, but he’s less idealistic about the world.

I love the hustle and grind we see from these boys, but even more so I love when they spend time alone together. I love how much time we get to see them goofing off, touching shoulders, flirting, racing, just having fun. I love how much time this film dedicates to showing how Naz and Maalik’s relationship works. How it could work. I love that in New York City they have so many shots dedicated to just the two of them, to the peace and quiet and light that follows them when they are together.

I love even more that they fight, that they are messy and complicated, and how much of that is driven not by themselves, but everyone else around them. This film takes place post 9/11, during the War on Terror. For those who are not aware, the War on Terror is/was a global counterterrorism military campaign following 9/11. And like I said, this film does some pretty decent realism, especially when it comes to the portrayal of the FBI agents that spend all day tailing Naz and Maalik because they have been #profiled.

One of the main conflicts kicks off when an undercover cop tries to sell Naz and Maalik a gun. Maalik, trying to be funny, haggles for the weapon but does not end up buying it. But engaging in a joke like that is enough for this FBI agent to decide they should be followed. At which point, these two FBI agents essentially end up acting as voyeurs to Naz and Maalik’s secret love life.

The FBI waits until each boy is alone and isolated to question them, and Maalik is completely honest while Naz, scared about his parents finding out about his sexuality, lies about where he had been the night before. Once again, I loved the portrayal of this, of two eighteen-year olds trying to navigate the system that was built to punish them. Not because I’m thrilled they are being harassed, but because I am appreciative of not being subject to propaganda about law enforcement and how “good” they are.

I liked seeing the dichotomy between Naz and Maalik’s handling of the FBI agent, versus an older Black man handling questioning. How he’s trying his best not to give her any information, how he cites his right to not say anything to her without an attorney present. And in response he is treated with suspicion, the FBI agent tries pressing and pushing for more information, because that’s what cops do.

And I remain unsurprised when the FBI agent pulls a gun on Naz when he reaches in to his bag. I think there are statements being made when the FBI agent is pissed at Naz and Maalik for “wasting her time” and that the boys are compelled to apologize for the inconvenience, despite the fact they were literally just existing as Black muslims and the FBI agent decided that not buying a gun was enough of a reason to tail them all day.

But it is those outside pressures, the concern that they will be outed, that they will be disowned, that they will lose everything that starts driving a wedge between Naz and Maalik. That Naz’s sister finds out and Naz is scared she’ll tell their parents. Those all start when the FBI starts questioning them, though there are multiple other forces at play.

Now. I think I wrote up a post after I watched Love of Siam, and how fucking furious I was that they ended that film on a separation. But that does not mean I hate separation narratives in queer cinema (I hated the one in LoS because I felt tricked). But Naz and Maalik separating at the end makes sense given their circumstances. There is no winning here. Naz is too kind to slaughter a chicken, Maalik feels compelled to show that he can do it, and Maalik ends up wounded and the chicken ends up dead without either of them laying a hand on it. There are repercussions here, a car accident, an injured person that could have been spared by just killing the chicken. I like that despite the fact that Naz and Maalik do have multiple fights in the film, it is not a fight that breaks them up.

They both knew this was an inevitability, there aren’t hard feelings about it. It’s sad for both of them, but it happens almost casually. TI did find the ending of the movie very interesting. Because they chose to end it before Naz arrives home. Naz gets on the subway, sad about his separation with Maalik, scared about what is waiting for him at home, and he is stopped by the very same cop that tried to sell him a gun the other day. He is ticketed for riding his bike in the subway, and one of the last lines Naz has in the movie is something like “don’t I know you from somewhere?”

Because no matter what, he’ll just never catch a fucking break.

As an aside, I love how frequently homeless people are included in this film and how they are never regarded as scary or terrifying. One guy is mostly quiet and he either stares or sleeps. Another man is loud, rambunctious, and fucking funny. Naz and Maalik talk to a homeless woman, talk to some boys begging for money for medical treatment. I just love when homeless people are humanized, and I am glad that Naz and Maalik spends time focusing their lens on the people society often refuses to look at.

By/For/About Queers

Naz and Maalik is loosely based on an interview director Jay Dockendorf did with a closeted Muslim man that he sublet a room from. Dockendorf used this man’s life story as a jumping off point for his film. And it certainly feels like a film that is made for queer people, the way that it is structured. So ultimately, I think this is a gay trifecta.

Favorite Moment

My favorite moment is near the end of the film. Naz and Maalik have just made out and Naz has rejected the offer to take things further. Naz and Maalik lay in bed together, in just their boxers, and they read each other these shitty little poems that are attached to beanie babies that Naz acquired earlier in the film. I just love gay boys and their plushies, I’m a simple person. And once again considering that Ben created this syllabus to be a wind up to BLs, I think the plushie moment is worth noting because boys and their plushies is a recurring theme in a number of BLs. Teh and Oh have matching monster plushies in I Told Sunset About You. Bai Lang’s entire apartment is covered in plushies in My Tooth Your Love. Chinzilla keeps a plushie of a chinchilla on an alter in the music room in My School President. etc. etc.

And I love plushies every time because I love seeing moments of softness portrayed on screen.

Favorite Line

“Barack Obama*. It’s crazy. It makes white men smell like black men, so white women will like black men more.”

*fake name of a scented oil

I mean…come on. It’s perfect.

Score

8.5/10

I think the story was pretty good, and there are these incredible bright spots of powerful acting. But the director allowed space for a lot of improv, which in some capacities I think is good. However, it does often result in awkward line deliveries, that tend to take me out of the story because the acting fluctuates so much between brilliant and smooth, to conscious and stilted.

#bengiyo queer cinema syllabus #queer cinema syllabus #naz and maalik #naz & maalik #jay dockendorf #the way he looks #being 17 #the obituary of tunde johnson #margarita with a straw #my beautiful laundrette #brother to brother #beautiful thing

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amstergreen · 3 months

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Just a friendly reminder I headcanon our fav sassy, genius, code crackin secret agent as aromantic and asexual!!

I had to do my part to help get #aromantic and #asexual trending on Valentine’s Day, and I’ll take any opportunity to push my aroace Ruby Redfort agenda.

I have no evidence except for general vibes and look how pretty the book 1, LIME cover looks with the aro pride flag?

(Also Clancy and Ruby are in a QPR for SURE!!!)

(For all the people who think she can’t be aroace because she’s 13, let me remind you that like any sexuality or queer identity, you don’t have to be an adult to figure it out :) let’s make space for aspec youth)

#aromantic #asexual #aromantism #aroace #aroace Ruby redfort #aromantic Ruby Redfort #Ruby Redfort headcanons #Ruby Redfort fandom #Look Into My Eyes

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hufflepuffinstorybrooke · 8 months

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Please Don’t Hate Me

I need to start by stating that I really liked the Red, White, and Royal Blue movie. The cast and crew were amazing and this was a sorely necessary movie in the queer community as far as representation goes. I am also really bad at separating a movie from its source material. So this is just an opinion on some representation, both feminine and queer, that I wish had been in the movie.

First, with the female representation. Most obviously, the fact that June was written out, Princess Catherine was absent, and Queen Mary was switched to King James III.

Even while Alex is the main character, June is the heart of the Claremont-Diaz family. Alex and Ellen are too wrapped up in caring for the nation that they can sometimes forget that they need looking after themselves.

Combine this with keeping Ellen married to Oscar (she and Oscar are too similar, but Leo took care of her) and taking away some of her more nurturing characteristics (good thing bad thing), Alex’s family seems less supportive in the movie than the book.

This is similar to the problem I have with removing Princess Catherine. Henry has Bea’s support, but with the watered down Bea, that’s almost an empty corner. Princess Catherine is what forces the Queen to support Henry and Alex, and that is the first time Henry has felt a parent’s love since his father died. It’s just so important to his story, but I can understand why it was cut.

But why did they have to water Bea down so much? I don’t need the Powder Princess scandal, but if Bea is Henry’s only support, show that she is strong enough to back him for real. Throw her in a leather jacket, send her out to a party with the group, and show an electric guitar in the corner of the music room. It didn’t have to be anything big, but give her back her fire!

Then there’s Queen Mary, which I don’t really mind the switch since it gave us Stephen Fry as King James and the prime minister was a woman. I just felt like it lost some of the symbolism of the female heads of the nations and their opposite viewpoints on FirstPrince and tradition.

Lastly, there’s Nora. I liked her, I really did, but I wish they had mentioned that she went to MIT, even just Alex calling her MIT like he does in the book. There are places of higher learning, particularly in STEM, that kept women out for far too long. It would have been a great boost to show a woman being a graduate of the most well known technical institute in the country.

The only woman I was completely satisfied with was Zahra, they kept her as tough as nails!

Before I start on queer representation, remember that I do realize how important this movie is as a mainstream representation of queer love. However:

By taking out June, they took away the June/Nora/Pez relationship. I personally think that June and Nora were in a relationship and Pez just joined in while he’s in town. But still, a polyamorous secondary relationship in a rom com would have been nice.

That also takes away Nora’s bisexuality, which is just bi erasure! (And I know Alex says he’s bi, but that scene when Zahra calls him and Henry homosexuals bothers me! It erases Alex’s bisexuality!)

Rafael Luna was a huge impact on Alex, and showing an openly gay senator would have been amazing.

I am glad that, since they only kept one secret service agent, that they kept Amy. However, I do miss Cash and his pansexual jean jacket!

Moving on to Amy, I don’t mind that they didn’t mention that she is trans, especially since she is played by a trans actress and that was only brought up in Alex’s thoughts in the book. I do wish she had brought up her wife. There was such a good window of opportunity when she and Alex are talking about her dog. “You know my wife and I named our dog Jonathan.”

The addition of Miguel Ramos brings in the “gays are evil and vindictive” stereotype. Especially considering he was the only other openly queer person in the movie

On a lighter, headcanon note, I see Bea as at least ace, if not aroace, which sucks that it wasn’t included, but it makes sense since it’s not canon. Also, Princess Catherine cuffs her jeans, so she’s obviously bi lol

Again, the book is perfection, and I love the movie in its own right too. These are just some things that were missed or added that I wish changed in the movie!

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siancore · 11 months

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My first offering for the @sambuckylibrary Summer Bingo Event. Square Fills: Love Confessions and Gay Bar.

Summary: Bucky is undercover for the Thunderbolts at a gay bar. He sees Sam there after he left Sam to join the new team. Things get heated and feelings come to the surface.

AO3 Link

The revellers were almost as loud as the overbearing music. Bucky really wasn’t sure why he had put his hand up for this undercover mission. Maybe being in the same part of the world that Sam was in, and hearing Sam speak of the bar before, informed his decision. Maybe he wanted to lean more into his sexuality in this new century and find some kind of community outside of work. Maybe he just wanted to get the target off the streets and check off another job on his list. Whatever it was, Bucky was now undercover in a gay bar; his first time in any type of queer bar since he had escaped HYDRA.

The super soldier serum heightened everything. The beat from the music felt like it was going right through Bucky’s chest; he felt it in his bones. He had to focus on one thing at a time until his target entered the scene. He chose to watch the throngs of people dancing and enjoying themselves.

Bucky sat at a small table by himself and scanned the area as he sipped from his drink. A few people had approached him and flirted, but he brushed them off by saying he was waiting for someone. Bucky looked out on the dancefloor, and he almost dropped his drink. There, looking like an angel under the harsh lights, was Sam. His Sam, with some strange man dancing behind him, grinding all up on him; with his unworthy fucking hands touching Sam. His Sam. Bucky stood and stomped over to them. People stepped out of his way to let him pass.

Bucky gave the guy the Winter Soldier Death Stare and said, “Get your fucking hands off him.”

The stranger did as he was told and backed away. Sam, surprised at first, and then irritated, rolled his eyes at Bucky and walked off. Bucky followed behind him.

“What’re you doin’ here, Sam?” asked an incredulous Bucky after grabbing Sam by the arm and dragging him into the bathroom.

“Let go of me!” said Sam, pulling his arm away from Bucky’s grasp and straightening his stance. “What are you doin’ here? Didn’t think this was your scene, seeing as you, gee, I dunno, slept with me and then dipped the fuck out like it was a huge ass mistake. Why are you even at this bar if us being together scared you off and made you run?”

Bucky stepped back and let out a sigh.

“It’s not like that, Sam, and you know it,” he replied sullenly.

“Really? Tell me what it’s like.”

“I had to leave.”

“To join the Thunderbolts?”

“Yes.”

“But why?”

“I can’t – this isn’t the time and place to explain anything,” said Bucky as he stared firmly into Sam’s eyes. “Not my choices in work. Not my queerness. Not my reasons for leaving. I’m undercover here right now. I’m on the job.”

“Well why the fuck are you in this bathroom with me if you’re on the job?”

Bucky narrowed his eyes. Sam was being impossible, though he couldn’t really blame him. They had finally given into their mutual attraction and slept together. It just happened at the wrong time, just before Bucky had to work with the Thunderbolts. He wanted to stay with Sam and figure things out; to build something else together. But the powers that be had Bucky in a tough situation; a situation that would cause harm to Sam if he did not go along with what they wanted. Bucky would rather die than see Sam hurt, so he left. He could not have that conversation with Sam, though. Especially not in the bathroom of a bar.

“Well? Big fuckin’ professional secret agent man,” said Sam as he folded his arms over his chest. “Why are you in here with me when you should be out there doin’ this job you seem to love so much that you had to leave me?”

“Because you’re a stubborn, reckless asshole who’s obviously hurting and I’m worried about you!”

“You worried about me? I think the fuck not,” Sam replied as he moved to step around Bucky.

Bucky instinctively held out his arm to grasp Sam by the waist. He pressed Sam up against the tiled wall and crowded his space.

“Move,” said Sam, somewhat weakly, feeling the heat radiating from Bucky’s body.

“No,” Bucky replied firmly, pressing himself against Sam. “You’re out here drinkin’ and lettin’ some asshole put his filthy fuckin’ hands on you. You’re upset at me, and you got every right to be, but don’t be doin’ dumb shit because you’re pissed off at me.”

“I can do what I want. You don’t own me,” said Sam, feeling like a petulant child as soon as the words came out of him mouth.

“Goddamn it, Sammy,” Bucky huffed. “Why are you like this?”

“Why do you care?”

“Because I fuckin’ love you, okay?”

“What?” Sam stammered.

“I. Love. You. That’s why I care. That’s why I had to take this job with this new team. That’s why I’m fucking up this mission right now. Because I love you and I won’t ever let anyone hurt you. I just –”

Before Bucky could finish his love confession slash rant, Sam grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and captured his mouth in a claiming kiss. Their lips fit together perfectly as Bucky kissed Sam back with more fevor, putting all of his love and adoration and frustration and fear and joy into the kiss. Letting Sam know how much he meant to him with the kiss. Savoring in the feeling. They broke apart and pressed their foreheads together, trying to steady their breathing and their racing hearts.

“I love you, too,” Sam whispered, as he clung to Bucky. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too much,” Bucky replied as he drew Sam into an embrace and held him close. “And we’ll work this out, but not here and now. My target is dangerous, so please, Baby, go home.”

“No,” said Sam, holding Bucky tighter. “I’m not goin’ anywhere. Not without you.”

#sambucky fanfiction #sambucky #sbsummer2023

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kanmom51 · 1 year

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JK ain’t gay expose

*Disclaimer: If you don’t have a sense of humour don’t bother reading this post.

Part 2 of part 3 of our JK ain’t gay expose.

In which we’ll disclose super secret transcripts of secret recordings that don’t exist that have come our way from our super secret agent who’s true identity we canine (typo intended) divulge at this point in time (wham BAM thank you mam).

Just a random pic. Nothing to do with our secret agent. Not at all. Ignore it.

IGNORE IT.

The recordings were made sometime before JM’s birthday, early October 2022, exact date unknown to us, as we are still experiencing difficulties with our translator from and to doggie (god, get your minds out of the gutter - doggie language not style).

These recordings we don’t have, god, they are damning.

A conversation that never ever happened between our manliest macho macho man JK and his buddy and protector of his secret relationship with his long term girlfriend, now turned fiancé and mother of his future child (you know - the one from the restaurant).

This transcript which is not at all a figment of my imagination (or is it?) will finally prove to what lengths these two would go to hide JK’s gf from us, their most trustworthy fandom, those who love them oh so much, those who know them the most in the world, those who listen to what they say. My god, the violation of our trust in them.

I tell you, after reading this transcript I AM SHOOK.

Here we go people, get ready to have your minds blown:

JK: Jyaman, my man, how did your recording go today?

JM: Yeah, not too bad. Been working round the clock.

JK: So, dude, you know I don’t do small talk, I’ll get right to it. I need a HUGE favour from you Jyaman, my Jyaman, my mate, my everything, but you know, ew, not EVERYTHING.

JM: What is it Jungkookie? What do you need me to do? You know I’ll always be there for you. You are my everything too, well not EVERYTHING, you know not EVERYTHING, although you do remember that time with the purple ribbon...ahm, yeah...

JK: (Throat clearing) Things with yyyy are getting serious, but you already know that, right? You literally helped me choose the engagement ring together, dah. Anyways, ma man, things are getting tricky for me. Too many people are saying you and I are not a thing anymore.

You know, our fanservice thing we used to do to protect Tae and my loving relationship.

Wait, no, I’m getting muddled up, I’ve been reading too much TKK content. Man, those fanfics are something else. Actually, you don’t even need to go to the fanfics, read the posts they are a whole fanfic of their own. Got me believing them too, shit.

JM: My macho macho man JK, well, not MINE per say, but someone’s...

I digress...how could you even JK? We were doing it to protect our girlfriends, man. Maybe you should take a break from SM, eh?

JK: Bro, good idea. I think I need to delete my whole IG account. Wait, I’ve already done that.

JM: Babe, oops, I mean manly man JK, don’t worry about it. What was it you wanted from me?

JK: I’m planning a trip to Jeju and going to propose to yyyy. But you know how we don’t have any kind of privacy now days. I’m worried we’ll be seen and everyone will find out we’re together.

You know the lengths we went to with the hickey, right? We can’t let this fall apart now!!!

JM: Look man, I helped you with the hickey, just like you helped me during RB. God forbid someone would have seen that lipstick mark on my ear. That was such a good catch dude. I have to thank you again for sucking it off my ear. Phew.

JK: So, my close but not too close friend, I need your help once again. A pre-emptive strike this time, if you wish.

JM: Whatever you need you sexy but clearly heterosexual man of all men...(gulp clearly heard).

JK: So, I was thinking... your birthday is coming up followed by our Busan concert. And I want to get the tongues wagging again, about us, you know, like maybe we’re doing IT?

Better they think I’m queer than in a relationship with a woman, right?

JM: Yeah, for sure.

JK: Three steps to my plan: I’m going to post for your birthday this year. Yeah. And I’m going to make it all sexy and stuff, get them all riled up, the fans, you know, but it’s for you...

JM: A-ha, ok. So step one thirst trap. Got it. Yeah, that’s ok, xxxx won’t mind, she’s already used to it...

JK: Great. We’re so lucky we have such understanding girlfriends. Although yyyy did tell me she once sent and ask to Reddit about us. Seems she was a little unsure about what was going on between us. Lol, as if... (clearing throat again).

JM: A-ha. Yes yes. Right.

JK: Next step will be in the live after the concert. I’ll make a comment about a fan asking me to marry them, and you’ll act all jealous and stuff.

JM: Yeah, whatever. Probably won’t take much acting on my part, wait what? Did I say that out loud?

JK: Ahm...yeah?

...and maybe something else, I haven’t decided yet, I’ll surprise you during the live, but something to get their tongues wagging about us. I have to protect my heterosexual relationship you know.

What would people say if they found out I have a girlfriend. Better they think we’re a couple, right?

JM: Oh JK, my most masculine of masculine men that I know and want.

Did I just say that out loud again? Fuck. Anyways bro, yeah, no probs. We need to protect you. Poor Tae. If only we would have helped him before those photos leaked...

JK: Yeah, a couple of selfies with him would have overshadowed those pics in a second.

Oh the shame he has to live with now.

People knowing he’s with one of the prettiest gals in our industry. He’s absolutely devastated by it.

JM: Ma man, Ma JK, I gotta go now, but no worries, I’ll ride your plan, and anything else you want me to..(giggling heard)

...your bike...god, get out of that dirty mind of yours.

Anyways, I guess I’ll see you in Busan, yeah? As we are now not really on speaking terms anymore and are clearly distant.

SM says it, so it must be true...

JK: True that.

So here’s to not seeing you like ever again, unless we need to work together, ugh.

Have to listen to our fans, they know best.

JM: Bye Bammie, guess I won’t be seeing you, like ever again...

Wait, I’m not seeing you now either, cause fans say I’m never at JK’s, so...is this in my imagination?

Narrator: probably. It’s definitely in mine.

And there you have it people.

Cut and dry evidence.

Court is out.

Clearly you now KNOW that JK WAS on Jeju with yyyy, his gf and by now fiancé (our non existent secret agent has notified us that yyyy, the bitch, accepted, fuck her).

#continuing with being sick of this shit already #every second day we have a new story about JK seen with a woman #He can't even look in a woman's direction #talk to a woman #sit in the vicinity of a woman #let alone touch one #and not be claimed to be having it on with her #once again facts are twisted into narratives that have nothing to do with the actual truth #and who cares #right?#as long as all roads #as twisted as they are #lead to a straight JK

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wishbonemotel · 1 year

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Muse Aesthetics: Horror Edition

Thank you for the tag @bokatan ! Gonna put this over here instead of on the Fallout blog because the vibes fit my OC configs over here better. Going with Nadia, Connor, and Cres for this one

No pressure tags: @krokaxe @bluepriestess @thespiral and anyone who wants to say I tagged them

Nadia

GOTHIC HORROR.

gaslights. corsets. ballrooms. candlelight. mist. starless nights. full moons. cobbled streets. horse-drawn carriages. mysterious strangers. bogs. moors. forests. mountains. castles. velvet. silver. brass. gold. jewels. domino masks. the opera. dangerous romances. tragic romances. violins. roses. lilies. empty graves. crosses. cemeteries. snow. ice. the gallows. crows. milk-white skin. ambiguous illness. fangs. pointed nails. something howling in the night. capes. gloves. top hats. straight razors. lightning. pipe organs. underground caverns. bats. mice. rats. ravens. cats. pearls. attics. talismans. axes. wood. isolation in a room full of people. vampires. werewolves. ghosts. coffins. western europe. eastern europe. bones. churches. catacombs. mausoleums. spiders. books.

CLASSIC HORROR.

black & white. powder puffs. red lipstick. winged eyeliner. white kitten heels. black lace lingerie. icy blue eyes. rain. abandoned cars. skeletons. acid. poison. voyeurism. switchblades. strangling. overcoats. looking over your shoulder. trans-atlantic accents. private detectives. dinner parties. haunted mansions. alcohol in glass decanters. cobwebs. perfect blonde curls. kitchen knives. shock. cellars. dust. dark alleys. empty streets. driving at night. horn-rimmed glasses. radiation. zombies. serial murder. paranoia. the city. witches. the devil. cannibalism. conspiracies. amulets. abject terror. the american south. the american northeast. england. analog cameras.

SLASHERS.

bloodbaths. massacres. wanton nudity. newspapers. leather jackets. letterman jackets. converse sneakers. obscured faces. social unrest. bonfires. lakes. babysitters. suburbia. high school. lockers. dead leaves in the fall. jack-o’-lanterns. outdated television sets. nightmares. psychiatrists. hospitals. unstoppable forces. gunfire. police. landline telephones. household objects turned into improvised weapons. halloween. secrets. revelations. character masks. scrunchies. queerness. wild curls. morbid humor. jeering children. parties. fire. swearing. revulsion. california. the american midwest. ambulances.

PARANORMAL HORROR.

malevolent spirits. seances. spells. missing bodies. hidden graves. white noise. static. flickering lights. rings of salt. demons. poltergeists. dark histories. old buildings. cold air. mausoleums. wells. urban exploration. a dog barking at something you can’t see. black ooze. old photographs. faces you can swear you’ve seen before but can’t for the life of you figure out where. dark bodies of water. crucifixes. priests. possession. exorcisms. dolls. jump scares.

CRYPTID & URBAN LEGEND HORROR.

aliens. blinding light. dark woods. driving at night. claw-marks. bite-marks. men in black. memory loss. dismembered bodies. sewers. flashlights. cell phones. video cameras. cars with tinted windows. abandoned houses. unlabeled cassette tapes. bugs. big cities. urban crimes. clowns. something rustling outside your window. glowing light. unsolved mysteries. suburbia. mirrors. the american pacific northwest. the american midwest. the american east coast. hiking / backpacking.

THRILLERS.

daylight. fluorescent lighting. morgues. asylums. unwavering eye contact. tension. lit rooms with no one inside them. a dog digging in the newly-planted flower bed. steely gazes. paperwork. anagrams. codes. convicted killers. missing persons. law enforcement. federal agents. small towns. suspicion. paranoia. subdued terror. dimly-lit parking lots.

Connor

GOTHIC HORROR.

CLASSIC HORROR.

SLASHERS.

PARANORMAL HORROR.

CRYPTID & URBAN LEGEND HORROR.

THRILLERS.

Cres

GOTHIC HORROR.

CLASSIC HORROR.

SLASHERS.

PARANORMAL HORROR.

CRYPTID & URBAN LEGEND HORROR.

THRILLERS.

#[smacks nadia on the ass like a car salesman] this bad boy can fit so many horror aesthetics in it #nadia tag #connor tag #cres tag #oc posting

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doublel27 · 1 month

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☕️ 🥦 📚 please

Hey D.!! I have answered ☕️🥦 previously but you have asked a huge undertaking for me which is 📚!

📚: alright, as a book goblin I have too many to count but we’ll get going on my top choices for authors and the work that has shaped me as a human.

Anne of Green Gables series: this is a typical white girl answer, but I adore Anne beyond reason. Atypical before there were words for it Anne, is brilliant and a dreamer and impulsive and bisexual (you can rip that reading of the text from my dead hands) and I just adore her and the life she builds for herself over the course of seven books. Also, Gilbert Blythe is one of the few men that’s worth anything in fiction.

Ursula K. LeGuin: this science fiction author changed my life when I was first handed her short story The One’s Who Walk Away from Omelas. I re-read it often because it grapples with collective responsibility and what we will do for security. I also highly recommend her Haimish series (books and short stories) that deal with planets earth colonized with various experiments and forgot about, including the Left Hand of Darkness which is a seminal queer work looking at a society that comes into gender/sexuality once a month and is otherwise agender/asexual the rest of the time.

Octavia Butler: another stunning Sci-Fi author who deals with deep questions about humanity, race and our ability to survive and persevere. Both Lilith’s Brood and Parable of the Sower will change your life.

NK Jemson: I have not finished the stone cycle series because her writing is just that powerful. When I read the second book in the series it was all I could focus on for months. I would be teaching in class and it would pop into my head and I would have to remember what I was doing.

Casey McQuiston: one of my favorite queer authors and one I have engaged in fandom for. I have gotten to see them speak when Kissing Shara Wheeler came out and got my books signed. They write amazing romcoms for queer characters and their work is excellent. I am waiting desperately for The Pairing to come out and will likely see them on that book tour.

Romance novels that I love:

The Reef by Nora Roberts - classic contemporary 90s Nora. Lovers to Enemies to Lovers, treasure hunting and aquatic archeology- I once won a romance novel excerpt reading contest with this novel and I have no regrets.

Honor series - Radclyffe - the first daughter and a female secret service agent and their love story spanning multiple books. It’s here it’s queer and it’s everything I love.

Backwards to Oregon - Jae - Queer Oregon Trail marriage of convenience with what I consider to be a non-binary main character but the series was written in 2000ish and the language and the market for that was not big then.

The Wallflower series - Lisa Kleypas - it’s just fun okay. It’s a good time.

Anything by Courtney Milan. Fantastic and political. Run don’t walk.

Ask game

#ask game #doublel27 talks #d. ask #books #books and reading

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vengefulslytherin · 2 years

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i’m not one to rob thomas barrow of a happy ending. hell, i’ve been rooting for thomas since season one even when he was a cunning little shit because i saw the man in pain underneath that hard exterior - a man who could only act on his desires in the shadows - a man who believed himself to be an unloveable monster for so many years so he behaved like one. and then i saw thomas grow and stumble and BLOSSOM into the kind loving man he was always meant to be. i saw him find community with other queer men in the first film (before the raid) and experience a simmering romance with richard ellis. i’ll never forget that dumbstruck look on thomas’ face when richard touched his lips before pressing that same finger to thomas’ lips, their “first kiss”, and arguably thomas’ first kiss with a man. i say first kiss because richard was the first man who touched thomas without shame or disgust. the first man to look at thomas as if he were the most beautiful thing in the universe - and not some dirty secret. and then we got the ACTUAL KISS: the nerves, the wanting, the electricity of a new romance with the promise that they “would meet again.”

so i hope i’m not the only who was majorly disappointed by thomas’ “happy ending” in downton abbey: a new era. to go from having the beautiful yearning tension between thomas and richard to then this stale sugar daddy arrangement made zero fucking sense to me. not only was thomas and guy’s chemistry non-existent, but their scenes (which were criminally brief) were like two co-workers making awkward small talk at the water cooler (unless you count a smile and a chummy pat on the shoulder as romantic tension). honestly, i wouldn’t be surprised if the macho dominic west who played the character of guy told his agent he’d sign on for the role on the condition that he wouldn’t have to kiss a man. (UPDATE: it’s been brought to my attn that West played a gay man in the 2014 film Pride. I’m curious to see that performance but in the meantime, I’m looking at YOU Julian Fellowes…)

also, is it really a hooray moment for thomas if he’s leaving downton to essentially be another man’s servant/employee/lover? i understand that leaving england’s oppressive institutions to travel to america with a famous actor would be liberating for thomas, but i’m not buying what julian fellowes is selling. unlike thomas and richard, he and guy have an unequal power dynamic. guy saying to thomas “i don’t have a wife to take care of me so you can do it” was honestly one of the most unromantic declarations i have ever heard.

i don’t know, maybe if they had casted a better actor and actually gave thomas a well-developed romance like they did in the previous film, i would be satisfied with this ending. honestly, they should have brought ellis back (and don’t even get me started on that bullshit conversation btwn thomas and mrs. hughes). but no, julian fellowes had to throw away everything he built in the first film to wrap up thomas’ ending with a sloppy cishet white bow. i’m disappointed.

#y'all... i'm salty #they did my baby dirty #justice for thomas and richard #downton abbey #downton abbey: a new era #thomas barrow #richard ellis #guy dexter #robert james collier #dominic west #julian fellowes

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deathcoach · 1 year

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What was the process of getting yourself published? Did you get an agent or did you shop it yourself? Who edited it your or someone else? How long did it take from beginning to end? Was your story originally a fan fic? Who is your publisher / what printing house / company took you on? Thanks!

Thank you so much for these questions @twinsoulvisionary! There is a lot here so I will try to keep it brief and helpful!

I’ll go a little out of order so it makes more sense! Follow me below the cut!

Death Coach was written because I have two people in my life, one a published romance novelist and the other a family member, who had read lots of my fanfic and said I should write something original. So I took a few days to come up with an idea for something I thought I would care about enough to write an original novel about it.

The idea was simple “Detective gets involved with serial killer he’s hunting.” That was it. 😈

As to the question of if it was originally a fanfic, it was written explicitly to NOT be a fanfic, explicity to be something I could sell. However it’s no secret to anyone who knows me that Detective Walker is a thinly-veiled Luke Skywalker avatar, and Terana is at least physically very much like Mara Jade. There are tons of Easter Eggs in my novel for Star Wars fans, and I don’t want to drop them all here, but absolutely you will find other Star Wars-inspired characters in the book.

About the timeline:

Death Coach was finished in Dec 2018 and published in Dec 2022, so four years later. How about that? I’m just so happy it’s done! *checks box*

How long did it take to write?

Everyone writes at a different pace, but when I’m writing and have time to do it, I am super fast. I think Death Coach was written (first draft complete of 80k) in about 3 weeks. The first two days after I started it, I was already 20k into the book. I edit as I go—one of my habits with this book, so I didn’t lose any threads, was to reread what I’d written at least every other day. I could fix things, tweak, and proofread as I read. I think especially if you are writing a story where there are aspects of mystery or clues needing to be dropped, it’s a good habit to reread your draft often before you continue.

So I was on fire and the story wrote itself (as my stories often do).

I edited it myself (I consider myself an excellent editor, no false modesty here) but my sister, who is also a great proofreader, double-checked (and did find things I’d missed).

For getting published, it was a long and rocky road. I sent the book to many agents and publishers at the same time. I made a packet, query letter, checked all the boxes.

I did get a few offers fairly quickly, but they always seemed unappealing. For example, one publisher came back and said they loved the story but since their readership was primarily into dominant males, they suggested flipping the characters or making Terana more sub and Walker more domineering. That (if you’ve read the book you’ll understand) is a completely different novel, and not a story that interested me. One asked for more queer sexual content. One wanted more explicit childhood trauma for the serial killer. Another wrote back and offered me $1000 advance with a cap on royalties of $1,000. Since I am doing this as a hobby, it wasn’t so much about the money, but that seemed low to me and why would I want to cap royalties?

The most encouraging responses were actually from agents or publishers who were like “we can’t sell this right now but we like your style, send us something else/send us a different book.” Well, this was THE book I wrote and I wasn’t going to write another one until I’d published this one…but that was still nice to hear. Lots of positivity but no takers.

One of the funniest responses I got was from an agent who was super excited about the premise and emailed me about how much he was looking forward to reading it and then emailed me a couple days later and was like “Uh…this is X rated. I thought it would be a nice book.” I was laughing like uh…ok so a NICE book about a serial killer? Did he even read the synopsis? Anyway, clearly too prudish to enjoy the smutastic Death Coach.

About a year after I wrote it, one of my friends who had been published under contract with Harlequin for years switched to self-publishing, and made about twice as much as she had under contract (she was making about $14k a book). She suggested I do it, but I didn’t have the time or energy (as I mentioned, writing is a hobby for me and not a life goal or anything). She also had the benefit of a following, a known name in the romance business, something I do not.

I am under no illusions about the limited demographic for Death Coach—it’s gritty and graphic in both violent death and sex. People who are reading Mills & Boon don’t want to read about cunts and sex in the dirt, and people who are reading hard crime aren’t expecting lots of explicit fucking breaking up their action. But I thought maybe I would go after self-publishing when I had time and see if the book found an audience.

So fast-forward several years (!) and this past August I had some time to explore options. My friend who has self-published used Ingram Spark, who have global distribution and don’t try to keep any rights over your product. I worked with her to setup the title on her account, so I didn’t have to start from scratch (but I think it’s pretty easy if you want to set up your own—although if you are getting the impression I am lazy about it, you are right).

One benefit of Ingram is the option to refuse returns, because sometimes authors actually OWE money when royalties go into the negative due to returns. So I used SpiroBooks.com for my layout, got the ISBNs myself, had the super-talented @jadedjo do my cover art, and voila, here we are.

I think it’s important to stress again that I do this as a HOBBY. If I was interested in being a professional author who does it as a career, there were a lot of things I would do differently, including joining professional associations, spending more time and effort on finding an agent, and writing books that are commercial and similar to what is selling (or what the publishers told me they were looking for). Along the path, I had several opportunities to compromise and sell the book to other entities, but what was important to me was the fact this was written, I liked it as it was, and I had no real reason or motivation to change the story or rewrite, etc.

My goal in publishing this was to see if people liked it, and maybe make a series out of it if it was profitable. I do love Detective Walker and wouldn’t mind seeing what erotic adventures he has in the future, but I also am happy writing fanfic and working the dayjob. So we’ll see how it shakes out and if I should continue 🥰

I should mention that I’m overwhelmed and touched by the immense support the book has here on tumblr and in fandom spaces with my friends. I love everyone who bought it (I think I don’t get sales stats until next month) and thank each of you for giving such a hard-to-categorize novel an audience.

I hope that answered all your questions @twinsoulvisionary! Thank you so much for the ask and interest, and I wish you luck in your own writing and publishing endeavors!!! 😘 Feel free to ask other stuff, you or anyone else with a question!

#authors on tumblr #books #publishing #self publishing #getting published #death coach #ask the author #novel

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abyssurvived · 5 months

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muse aesthetics : 𝖍𝖔𝖗𝖗𝖔𝖗 𝖊𝖉𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓.

repost, don’t reblog. bold whatever applies .

gothic horror. gaslights. corsets. ballrooms. candlelight. mist. starless nights. full moons. cobbled streets. horse-drawn carriages. mysterious strangers. bogs. moors. forests. mountains. castles. velvet. silver. brass. gold. jewels. domino masks. the opera. dangerous romances. tragic romances. violins. roses. lilies. empty graves. crosses. cemeteries. snow. ice. the gallows. crows. ambiguous illness. fangs. pointed nails. something howling in the night. capes. gloves. top hats. straight razors. lightning. pipe organs. underground caverns. bats. mice. rats. ravens. cats. pearls. attics. talismans. axes. wood. isolation in a room full of people. vampires. werewolves. ghosts. coffins. western europe. eastern europe. bones. churches. catacombs. mausoleums. spiders. books.

classic horror. black and white. powder puffs. red lipstick. winged eyeliner. white kitten heels. black lace lingerie. icy blue eyes. rain. abandoned cars. skeletons. acid. poison. voyeurism. switchblades. strangling. overcoats. looking over your shoulder. trans-atlantic accents. private detectives. dinner parties. haunted mansions. alcohol in glass decanters. cobwebs. perfect blonde curls. kitchen knives. shock. cellars. dust. dark alleys. empty streets. driving at night. horn-rimmed glasses. radiation. zombies. serial murder. paranoia. the city. witches. the devil. cannibalism. conspiracies. amulets. abject terror. the american south. the american northeast. england. analog cameras.

slashers. bloodbaths. massacres. wanton nudity. newspapers. leather jackets. letterman jackets. converse sneakers. obscured faces. social unrest. bonfires. lakes. babysitters. suburbia. high school. lockers. dead leaves in the fall. jack-o’-lanterns. outdated television sets. nightmares. psychiatrists. hospitals. unstoppable forces. gunfire. police. landline telephones. household objects turned into improvised weapons. halloween. secrets. revelations. character masks. scrunchies. queerness. wild curls. jeering children. parties. fire. swearing. revulsion. california. the american midwest. ambulances.

paranormal horror. malevolent spirits. seances. spells. missing bodies. hidden graves. white noise. static. flickering lights. rings of salt. demons. poltergeists. dark histories. old buildings. cold air. mausoleums. wells. urban exploration. a dog barking at something you can’t see. black ooze. old photographs. faces you can swear you’ve seen before but can’t for the life of you figure out where. dark bodies of water. crucifixes. priests. possession. exorcisms. dolls.

cryptid & urban legend horror. aliens. blinding light. dark woods. driving at night. claw-marks. bite-marks. men in black. memory loss. dismembered bodies. sewers. flashlights. cell phones. video cameras. cars with tinted windows. abandoned houses. unlabeled cassette tapes. bugs. big cities. urban crimes. clowns. something rustling outside your window. glowing light. unsolved mysteries. suburbia. mirrors. the american pacific northwest. the american midwest. hiking / backpacking.

thrillers. daylight. fluorescent lighting. morgues. asylums. unwavering eye contact. tension. lit rooms with no one inside them. a dog digging in the newly-planted flower bed. steely gazes. paperwork. anagrams. codes. convicted killers. missing persons. law enforcement. federal agents. small towns. suspicion. paranoia. subdued terror. dimly-lit parking lots.

TAGGED BY : taken from my archived blog. TAGGING : @harlekvin, @susponte, @hourman, @90srec, @00sgoth and you!!

#🌲 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖆𝖇𝖞𝖘𝖘 𝖌𝖆𝖟𝖊𝖘 𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖔 𝖞𝖔𝖚 ━━ ‘ AES ’

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mlobsters · 7 months

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supernatural s10e6 ask jeeves (w. eric charmelo, nicole snyder)

i looked her up because she reminds me of tissea from the witcher (spoiler alert looking her up apparently, i've been [sadly] bored to tears with s3 so i haven't finished it) but she was in coyote ugly! so i did recognize her. ish

s10e6 / coyote ugly - izabella miko as cammie / the witcher - myanna buring as tissaia

we got an spn / xfiles / the magicians / the killing actor! 🎉

and he was in the tooms episode of the x-files! (along with two others). and he was the faith healer in spn s1e12 faith, didn't recognize him at all with the sunglasses

the x-files s1e3 squeeze - kevin mcnulty as agent fuller / the magicians s2e1 km as knight of crowns / the killing s1e13 km as gas station manager

saw a gifset of this recently and spent plenty of time staring and rolling my eyes then. also, toxic masculinity/machismo is very much an issue in the culture but hello cuban coffee colada which comes with the ittiest bittiest cups (think basically creamer cups) for sharing. *pining for miami*

making my 😒 face at dean/writers right now

DEAN Bobby had secrets, man. Like loving on Tori Spelling. If he only knew Dean cheated on her.

cue my brain trying to dig up an old memory of 90210 character names

but no, apparently, her actual spouse Dean McDermott (m. 2006). dean knows this? i can't predict what pop culture stuff dean might know or not. (like interweb?) and like last episode where he didn't know who calliope was, yet he's supposedly read the odyssey?

from s4e14 sex and violence (my recap)

DEAN Like Greek myth siren, The Odyssey? ...Hey, I read!

just say no to dumbing down dean winchester.

also i don't think it's necessarily just sam's haircut that's so odd in this season, but it looks like it's getting blown out too. weird. it's normalish for his look in the front but very ~done~ in the back at times

just say yes to shutting up and watching, nic

s10e6 as heddy / new girl - gillian vigman as kim (schmidt's boss)

but there's more people i recognize 🥲 this is going to take forever. feels very... Clue-like

she calls them adorable, dean engages flirt-mode, sam makes a face. however! for what it's worth! i appreciate that as he's gotten older the rando side character women he flirts with are also regularly around his age or older

BEVERLY Oh but you’re welcome to spend the night. All the rooms sleep two.

HEDDY [slaps Dean’s butt] Or three.

i... okay. mad at the insinuation that sam and dean are sleeping together (?? do they know they're brothers or assuming married?? this show.), but happy about the butt slap/threesome offer?

DEAN You stay here. Keep an eye on Mrs. Peacock and Colonel Mustard. I’ll sniff around.

okay then. Clue it is

DASH Well Sam, I’ll let you in on a little family secret. We don’t really like each other. Then again, what family does? SAM Mine does. Uh, for the most part. It’s just my brother and me, so…

this is how the show has a chokehold on me. just when my commitment to watching every episode wavers, they're like oh but would you like to hear about how much sam and dean looove each other 🥺🥹

maybe toss sam a text before you go into the secret room

cute

is this all just an elaborate ad? lol

look at sam, sending a text to dean about the dude being dead. good job guys

HEDDY Did you see how long his fingers his fingers were? SAM There…there’s just. HEDDY First of all, did you see this? Look how long…

and then at this point in the screenshot she's saying 9 inches?? whaaat is happening

did someone get a ruler out. and measured his..... hand

this episode is a lot

HEDDY I knew those boys were trailer trash the moment they rolled up in that American-made. BEVERLY Not to mention homosexuals. HEDDY Ugh. Homosexual murderers. Like Leopold and Loeb.

guess we're just gonna ignore they're brothers now.

‘Scream’ Screenwriter Kevin Williamson Confirms Billy and Stu’s Queer-Coded Relationship Was Based on Real Gay Killers - huh, well thanks for leading me to that, wikipedia article on leopold and loeb!

DASH Then where have you been hiding all these years? OLIVIA The attic. AMBER Like in the movie.

Reference to Flowers in the Attic, which is a story about children born of an incestuous relationship, who are hidden away in the attic of a wealthy relative

i was trying to think of what it could be referring to that wasn't flowers in the attic because hello incest reference, but okay

SAM I mean….all those extra shots after the shifter was already dead. What was that? DEAN I don’t know. Target practice? SAM Come on, man. I’m serious. You sure it wasn’t….I don’t know, demon residue or something to do with the Mark, or...

demon residue made me laugh

dean getting defensive and weird, i'm sure he's fine

LOL all right (wiki)

Shortly before the episode aired, in November 2014, a Supernatural version of Clue was released.

what an odd episode.

#supernatural #spnwatch #spn 10x06 #hiky #spnhiky #izabella miko #coyote ugly #the xfiles #the killing #the magicians #kevin mcnulty #gillian vigman #spn clip #9 inches #eric charmelo #nicole snyder #colada

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thatringboy · 7 months

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I finally got introduced to my best friend’s girlfriend and I found myself in a situation where I could not hide from my trans-ness like I usually do

My work uniform is form fitting. I’m AFAB and haven’t begun medically transitioning. Even after years of vocal training, my voice is still pretty high. I don’t pass. That’s okay with me, it’s never been much of a bother. Those who know I’m trans respect my name and pronouns, even though I have my deadname on my nametag

My best friend isn’t Cis. She’s AMAB and male-presenting with a beautiful beard, but she uses any pronouns. Her girlfriend is Cis. I’d heard about the girlfriend, seen pictures of her, coached my best friend through the talking stage and threw a party when they got together. I also work with my best friend, we work at a bar

Yesterday, my best friend’s girlfriend came to our bar with some of her friends. Best friend was chatting with her and I made my way over to introduce myself. Best friend said “oh hey! [Girlfriend], this is Percy! Percy, [Girlfriend]!”. I introduced myself and I was super excited to meet her, I’d heard nothing but good things and she seemed really cool

And then she leaned over the bar to squint and stare at my nametag with the most dumbfounded face I’ve seen on an adult. I instinctively covered my nametag and backed away with a joke about being a secret agent and went back to work, but it’s been a full day since then and I still feel humiliated.

And it’s occurred to me that my best friend who’s never misgendered me and goes out of his way to validate me and support me forgot to tell his girlfriend that I was trans. I doubt she even knew what I looked like. She probably just assumed I was her partner’s best guy friend. I don’t blame her. But that split second of panic when she ignored both me and my best friend loudly saying that I was Percy and zeroed in on my incorrect nametag still has me reeling

I don’t really know how to describe it but it felt like the difference between Cis people (even Cis queer people, thought I don’t know if she’s queer or not) and trans people was spelled out right there. Every other trans person I’ve met, even if they present differently than their name or pronouns suggest (like me) has always been super understanding and almost predictive of how we handle our identities. Gender is a game that we’re winning, it’s a dress-up game for adobe flash users, it’s an art and the absence of. I can spin hours of purple prose about experiencing gender as a trans person. My curse-bearing hips and very manly breasts don’t take away from that fact that I’m also a little guy and God’s favorite prince

And it’s wild that Cis people almost never have that realization within themselves. That it’s odd or strange to them for a person to use multiple names or have pronouns different from their presentation. My Cis supervisors verbally berate themselves when they accidentally read my deadname on a food order instead of Percy when it’s really not that big of a deal, my sister gets flustered when our discord server calls me he/him and she forgot that she’s the bad guy for refusing to do so, and now my best friend’s girlfriend who I barely spoke four words to might have had an image in her head of who I am that doesn’t match who I actually am and now I’m anxious that it’s somehow my fault. Which is bullshit

Cis people experiencing the beauty of gender and the disregard of gender roles is a beautiful thing that I love to see. Only, yesterday was a freezingly cold reminder that Cis people who have never had to question gender or really interact with someone who gets very queer with their presentation are very much the majority of people. Existing as trans on the internet or within my tight friend group is still very different than existing as a trans person in the world

Anyways, essay over. Cis people stay wildin’ and I’m just vibin’

#How do I even tag this?#trans #transgender

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fixomnia-scribble · 1 year

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Evolution

HOLY HECK.

Criminal Minds: Evolution (aka Season 16) is off to an incredible start. Spoilers and pics below the cut. Messer and the team have pulled off the tricky balance between taking us back to familiar places and faces, and finding new energy as well as new problems to contend with in new ways.

Below be spoilers.

Firstly, this is a welcome-back to the characters, not a plot analysis. I’m intrigued by the idea of a season-long arc, and I think it’s an interesting concept: how pandemic life may have altered crimes that depend on predator access to people out in public.

One comment I’ve seen online, about the psychological game the killers are playing, is: “Isn’t it horribly ableist to show the choice between permanent disability and death this way?” And this is my response, as a non-disabled person: I think the point was to make the viewer think that. I think the point was to make people think, hang on, would I actually pick death over permanent paralysis? Wouldn’t there be plenty to fight for and ways to live? But this is just me.

Let me just get the predictable out of the way: everyone is back, if only name-dropped a couple of times, and they look amazeballs. Age and experience are cool, network people. So far there’s no word on whether Gubler and Henney will sign on for future episodes, but they are clearly missed and not forgotten, while on supposed secret assignments.

Prentiss is the new Strauss, dealing with the budget-bleating Dep Dir Bailey, a spindly, grinning 30-year-old with his eye on a top job. He probably hasn’t been in the field since Academy, has no respect for Prentiss and has no idea what hell he is in for.

Lewis is her usual powerhouse self, still relatively fresh in her mental outlook compared to the long-time agents who have gone though bitterness and back together. She’s also dating a lady powerhouse at DoJ, thereby becoming CM’s first canonically queer BAU agent. The world does not end, and Prentiss’ response is that it’s nice to have someone so happy in the office - and that Tara’s going to get so much shit from the team - simply for making such a catch, and dating someone over at DoJ.

(Note: thanks to the eagle-eyed forum spotters who noted Tara’s plaid jacket and closeup of her nice short manicure as a little extra bi-coding. Whether it was intentional or not, you’re right, that’s hilarious!)

Which brings me to the next point: there is cussing! A lot of it! Because this is on streaming, not cable! Rossi and Prentiss, predictably, get to drop all the bombs, some of them fairly large. Not only is it disarmingly natural, but it feels like a relief. Of course these two have been cussing all the way through - we’re just now getting to sit at the big kids’ table and hear it.

Here’s hoping we get to hear Prentiss cussing in multiple languages.

Rossi is having a Truly Awful Year. Having re-married his third wife at the end of S 15, he’s been grieving (or trying not to) since her death from an undisclosed illness a year ago. He’s living in a basic commuter hotel to avoid rattling around his mansion alone, living on room service, a landslide of case notes, a couple changes of clothes, Alka-Seltzer and eyedrops and microwaved pasta (!) He’s abrasive and snappish and obsessed with the case, and the higher-ups are noticing.

Each member of the BAU tries to reach him, clearly not for the first time.

Prentiss’ intervention scene just slew me. She threw everything she had into it, all her affection and hard-earned wisdom and shared grief, and he quietly handed it all back with “You’re a better person than me, Emily. And I’m okay with that.”

(Confession: even with Rossi in the depths of grief, Shipper!Me is still jumping around going is it finally time for these two?? I have headcanoned them as being friends with extended benefits for years, whenever both are fancy-free and in the same city. They get each other on a very deep level and they’re friends, first and foremost. They could light a fire and yammer about old-school sci-fi writers all night, or shut up and hit the sheets together to forget a bad case.

The last scene in which they’re obviously and appreciatively checking each other out and cracking jokes about not getting laid is not helping.)

Alvez is doing his best largely a solo agent, since the team have been split up into single SSA units rather than partners. He consults with JJ regularly, and she backs him up in dealing with Rossi’s outbursts. We get less insight into his inner life than the others, but it’s clear he’s concerned about the team, and is trying to bring in enough solves to prove their worth.

Penelope! Is! Back! She’s living her best damn life, and has new firm boundary skills. As always, she has a lot going on - her Anglophile Baking Club, and mentoring small genius security network coders on the super-secure young adult chat site she developed, for starters. The look on her face when Alvez knocks on her door is priceless, as is their banter, picked up without a pause from S15. (I may have replayed, “Take your carbs and exit, sir”, a few times.)

Garcia’s turn at Getting Through to Rossi is magic. Whether she had the right words or whether it was just the right time makes no difference - it was a gorgeous scene. The power of Garcia is highest when she is just herself, not trying to offer well-known words of advice. She manages to deliver a sound waking-up as well as a shift in perspective. And clearly he hadn’t let anyone hug him in a long time. Clingy Rossi is rather sweet, but don’t tell him that.

In contrast, the lighting as Rossi leads Garcia back to her old lair is like returning to Kansas before the tornado. I hoped for a moment that her decorations would still be up, but as we enter, we see tidy piles of boxes, a rank of dark monitors on the grey walls, and a starkly clean desk. But as she logs in, each monitor pops awake in determined pastels, and we see her retrieve the pink post-it note that she’d left for the next incumbent of the room - not knowing it would be her. We don’t see what she wrote, and we never will, and that’s as it should be. It’s a wrench seeing her step back into the darkness of her old life, but it’s also a triumph. She’s still got it, and it’s on her terms now.

Lastly, but far from least, JJ quietly shines in these opening episodes as a stalwart, seasoned profiler, nearing the top of her current skill set and about ready for a bump up the ladder. She’s been emotionally anchoring the team while trying to work harder than ever to ensure their future as a unit, and it’s telling on her. She and Will hardly see each other, Henry has his first girlfriend, and she’s missing them all. But she’s resourceful as ever, and Will is his rock-solid self. They’ll find ways to make their schedules, um, meld together. On the kitchen counter if need be.

(If Rossi retires and he and Prentiss get together and JJ steps up as the new Hotch and maybe gets to stay in DC more, and if they get the jet back along with Reid and Simmons...)

#Criminal Minds #criminal minds: evolution #Emily Prentiss #David Rossi #Luke Alves #Penelope Garcia #JJ Jareau #Tara Lewis #Criminal Minds S16

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