#BLACKBEARD GOT HER!!! GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF HER!!!!
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BACK TO ONE PIECE LETSGOOOOO
#nami put luffy in a cage.... dont let sanji see that.... again nami demonstrating how she is the strongest ever.....#why is franky the boat akshaksjskqjqk ROBIN NEARLY 1000 MILLION YEAAAAAHHHHH#sanji exploded </3 rip the smoking got to him..... luffys snapshot in the cage beaten up akdhsksjsk#jinbes theme is a banger.... buggy lmaoo chacho means president??? that is so funny... CHACHOOOO!!! also buggy owning croc money... banger#these two divas sitting cross legged on the couch bullying buggy.... ajhdkajsa buggys bounty akdhsksjsks#this whole episode was so funny lmao buggy....#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1086#luffy wanted yamato to join the crew omg....... i mean of course but he was maaaad.... i kew yamato was a nakama for sure#marco telling luffy ace would be proud of him and smiling.... didnt that happen before and he got sad??? development#SERAPHIM?? THE NEW PACIFISTAS?? why tf does she look like hancock??? OMG MARGARET!!! FUCKING BLACKBEARD??? IN AMAZON LILY???#baby angel mihawk too??? what is this.... KILL BLACKBEARD YES!!!! THROW HIM INTO THE SEA!!! LET THE SEA RECLAIM HIM!!!#so pretty sure what garp was talking about were the seraphim pacifistas..... just keep making things worse old man sure#koby is gay confirmed see.... helmeppo got got... the downsides of being bisexual...#BLACKBEARD GOT HER!!! GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF HER!!!!#episode 1087#hancock lying on rayleighs legs omg... those are her parents ALSO SHAKKY EX KUJA CAPTAIN AND EX EX EMPERESS??? RAYLEIGH?????#why does amazon lily have a giant portrait of luffy on the palace facade akdhaksjaka i mean i DO know why.....#who tf is wang zhi and what did koby do.... and blackbeard is NASTY!!!! RAYLEIGH GET HIM!!! this reminds me of shanks in marineford... a lo#koby kidnapped by blackbeard?? omg kuma....... he is alright.... why the cherry blossom petals in between them ajdjsksjwk#see how sabo is alive.... but why does koala have blue eyes and orange hair now.... luffy having a crisis#i was thinking is carobou om that fucking barrel and YES why us brook crying akdhsk what do you know#zoro using luffy's words against him.... but i dont think ace is a good example of this.... zoro and sanji fighting about who is on top....#luffy asking robin for news.... BUT ROBIN I WANT TO KNOW!!!! omg this ending???? WHAT DID LUFFY SAY???? that was beautiful.............#he said he wants to give everyone freedom i know it... and he needs to be pirate king for that.... he knew since he was a child.....#omg....... the one piece is freedom for everyone and for some reason roger couldnt do it he wanted his son to do it.....#back on my theories grind....#episode 1088#LUFFY!!!! THE MAN THAT YOU ARE!!!!
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Dreaming of You • Ace x Fem!reader • (ANGST/FLUFF)
CW: post marineford spoilers ahead, reader is apart of the whitebeard pirates, a lil bit of angst, grief, kissing, Ace visits reader in her dream one night
Cee’s Note: i miss him sm 😢 i hope y’all enjoy
Song inspo: Dreaming of you- Selena
It’s been a while since you’ve gotten proper rest. Not since…that day.
The day your entire world was turned upside down.
Every night you cried yourself to sleep, only to be awakened by nightmares of the events of the Paramount war. Reliving his death over and over again, as if your mind was trying to torture you.
It got so bad, that you dreaded sleep altogether. The skin under your eyes darkened from fatigue and your sullen features made you unrecognizable by your crew. You always had the kindest smile and was filled with so much laughter but now your eyes looked empty and you barely spoke anymore. Marco was beginning to worry for your health. The death of pops and Ace still hurt him, but he could tell you were dealing with it the worst. After all, Ace was more than just a crew mate to you.
He was your lover
One night, Marco insisted you get some rest. Before you could protest, Marco already cut you off, declaring it’s the “doctor’s order”. You reluctantly secluded in your personal quarters to turn in for the night. As soon as your head hit the pillow, you had managed to drift to sleep pretty quickly, exhaustion finally taking over. As your eyes fluttered shut, you prepared yourself for yet another dream of pirates and marines fighting and your boyfriend having a hole punched through him. However, you were met with a warm smile and gentle brown eyes.
“Ace?”
You could faintly make out his adorable boyish grin and the freckles that decorated his nose and cheek.
“Hey sleeping beauty,” he winked.
Your eyes widened and before you knew it, you practically tackled him in a tight embrace.
“Whoa…haha…looks like someone’s excited to see me”, he chuckled, placing a kiss atop your head.
The warmth emulating from his body and his familiar scent overwhelmed your senses.
You raise your head from his neck, still in awe that it was actually him. You graze your hand against his freckled cheek before bringing your lips to his.
You missed the feeling of his toned arms holding you against him, the way his soft lips felt against yours, the way he hummed against your lips.
You couldn’t help the tears that flowed down your cheek as you had longed for his kisses for so long. When he broke the kiss, he noticed your tear stained face and concern laced his handsome features
“Y/N, hey hey,” he cooed, rubbing his thumb against your cheek as you continued to sob. You couldn’t help it. You missed him so fucking much and being able to kiss and hold him again was just too much.
“C’mon Y/N, we talked about this,” Ace sighed, thumb still swiping the tears off your cheek.
Your weeping pauses at his words, looking at him with a puzzled expression.
“I have to bring Teach to justice for what he did, you know this”, Ace continues, not catching your confused features.
Suddenly a sense of deja vu hits you at his words. You two have had this conversation already. This was the last conversation you had with Ace before he left to hunt down Blackbeard.
You remembered how upset you were about Ace going after Teach. You had a gut feeling about the whole thing and when Ace refused to listen, you remembered how angry you were with him. Looking back now, you hated that your gut feeling was right, but hated more that you couldn’t do more to stop him.
“Ace, please,” you croaked, your eyes holding so much sadness, “don’t go”
If you could just convince him, everything will be okay again.
You wouldn’t feel empty anymore.
“If I don’t do this, I could not live with myself as a commander. I know it’s hard but I really need you to believe in me”, Ace says as he holds your hands in his.
Realization dawned on you, as you gazed at the man before you. You knew him too well to know that once his mind is set, there’s no talking him out of it. You couldn’t change the outcome, no matter how much you wanted to. After all, this was just a dream.
“I do believe in you, Ace,” you squeeze his hands, your thumb rubbing circles against the back of his palm.
There’s so much you want to say to him. So many things you wished you could have said before it was too late. But for some reason, the words weren’t coming out, you just stared at him with glossy eyes as he smiles at you.
“I will be back before you know it, I could never leave my girl all alone for too long” he smirks.
‘But he did’
“Can you just lay with me, Ace”
Ace smile grows bigger and he lays you both down. Your back is against his chest as he holds you from behind. He litters soft kisses to the side of your neck and cheek.
“I love you so much Ace”
His lips pause against your neck, and he tilts his head to look you in your eyes.
“I love you too Y/N”
Your eyes well up again and you try your hardest to swallow the lump in your throat.
“Please never forget that. You are loved and you deserve the world. It is so unfair what life has thrown at you. I wish things were different but just remember how loved you are” you whisper to him.
Now his eyes started to well up and all he could do was capture your lips in a passionate kiss.
.
#one piece fanfic#one piece angst#portgas d ace x y/n#portgas ace x reader#portgas d ace angst#portgas d ace#ace x reader#ace x y/n#ace fluff#ace angst#portgas d ace fluff
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Spirit of the sea
Izzy Hands x Reader (GN)
SEASON 2 CONTENT AHEAD!!!
Blackbeard rules the sea. Despite wanting his captain back, Izzy realises his mistake. Protecting the crew is his concern. Protecting you is his life mission. Stede's return brings hope, but there's a lot of work to be done before this crew becomes a family.
{Masterlist}
{Previous Chapter} - {Next Chapter}
Warnings: Spoilers. The ending he deserved. WHEN I CATCH YOU RICKY.
Chapter Seventeen - The unicorn and his sparrow
♡♡♡
It was funny. In a way. This whole thing had started with you in Stede's brig and now you were locked up with his crew. So much had happened since then.
The fucking Navy. Not even just that. Richard Banes.
Zheng had intended to use the Navy, but the prince as used that against her. He had given each ship a gift, a grandfather clock, as a sign of "peace." Only they were full of explosives and he had used them to destroy her fleet.
Now the Republic of Pirates was flooded with the English.
You were sat in the cell below Jackie's bar with the rest of the crew. Izzy hadn't left your side the entire time. When the bar got flooded with Navy men, Izzy had pushed you behind him. When you were caught and being manhandled, Izzy swore more than you had ever heard before. It was a constant "get your hands off them." He did not like seeing you being pushed around.
As soon as the cell was locked behind you, Izzy gathered you in his arms and held you to his chest. You had to reassure him you were okay.
Prince Richard decided to come pay you all a visit. "Hello, friends."
You reach for Izzy's hand. He squeezes yours back.
"This is bittersweet. I mean, here we all are at the end of piracy and you'll all be hung in the next few minutes and all your stories will be lost for the ages. Which is a shame because I do love a good pirates' tale. But don't you worry. Because I will not be hanging you by the thumbs like that deranged Captain Kidd." The prince rattles on.
"That's not what he did, you twat," Izzy says from the back of the cell. His hand was still holding yours.
"Oh, my. The great Izzy Hands," the prince claps.
"And you're... Pinocchio?" Izzy asks, mocking the man. You laugh with the others.
"A new one. Bring him upstairs."
You stop laughing.
"Sir, aren't we going to hang them?" The man beside the prince asks.
"Oh, yes. But they're not going anywhere." Richard smiles. "So I have time for a drink with a legend."
As the prince walks away, Izzy is summoned closer to the gate. You squeeze his hand, silently asking him not to go. Izzy turns to you. You look at him with leading eyes, shaking your head softly.
"Don't." The word falls from your lips in a soft whisper.
"I'll be alright. I'm coming back for you," he says softly. Your expression doesn't change and it hurts Izzy's heart to see you look so worried for him.
Izzy let's go of your hand and exits the cell. He turns to you once more before going upstairs.
You sink against the ball.
"Fuck."
♡♡♡
"Can't believe I have an audience with the great Israel Hands. That's absolutely astounding." Richard is in awe.
Izzy just focuses on the candles on the table.
"I've always thought you were underrated. I mean, it's absurd, isn't it? Isn't it? That Blackbeard, he gets all this praise, when you are quite clearly the brains of this operation?"
"Ya don't know the first thing about piracy, do ya?" Izzy asks him, looking up from the candle.
"Don't I?"
"It's not about glory. It's not about gettin' what you want. Its about belonging to something when the world bad told you you're nothin'. It's about finding the family to kill for when yours are long dead. It's about letting go of ego for something larger." You and the crew cross his mind. "The crew."
"Oh, my goodness. You've just grown so tedious." Richard chuckles dryly.
♡♡♡
Archie and Fang are trying to help pry the bars open enough for someone to slip through. You're sat on the cold ground of the cell staring at your dirty old boots.
What was this prince fuck talking about with Izzy? Why did he have to take him upstairs? Was Izzy okay?
Frenchie sits down beside you. "You doin' okay?" He asks.
"Peachy..."
"They'll bring him back. Izzy won't go down without a fight."
You sighs softly. "I know..."
"And he's not going to leave you here. Izzy cares for you more than he does for anyone. He's not gonna let you down."
You smile. "He could never do that."
Frenchie nudges your arm lightly.
"I worry about him. Like, all the time. I've sailed with Izzy Hands for years. I've known him deeper than anyone else ever has. He's let me see sides to him you would otherwise think didn't exist. I love him so damn much and now we're trapped here surrounded by the fucking Navy... And that prick has Izzy up there. I swear to god if that dick touches my Izzy, I will drive my sword through his eyes."
Frenchie grimaces. He gets the picture.
"Sorry."
"Don't be. I get it," he says, smiling.
You chuckle softly.
♡♡♡
"I destroyed the Republic of Pirates and that makes me the ultimate pirate," Ricky said to Izzy.
Izzy is amused. "You're not a pirate, lad. You're a spoiled, entitled bunch of twats dressed in puffy, blue nighties."
"Shame, I was going to let you live."
"Kill me." Izzy smiles. "Kill us all. Our spirit will last throughout your entire fuckin' empire because... we're good." Izzy states, full of emotion. "And you... are a rancid, syphilitic cunt."
The sound of vast footsteps entering the bar has everyone turning their heads that way. Stede has entered with Zheng and Ed behind him.
"There's a lot of them," Stede says, looking around the room.
Within second of the Navy drawing their swords, they all keel over. Poison.
"Is that us doing that?" Stede asks.
Roach and Pete look around the room in confusion. Jackie laughs from behind them.
"What the hell was in that brandy?" Roach asks.
"Nothin' you want to fuck with." Jackie grins.
While Jackie assures the Swede he will be fine, Zheng walks over to Ricky and grabs him by the coat. "This is for Auntie."
"No!"
Zheng looks up to see Auntie there. She's fine. The rest of the crew flood into the bar. Auntie hits Ricky over the head and the crew greet their captain.
You waste no time making your way over to Izzy and checking him over. He smiles at your fussing.
"I'm fine," he assures you.
You take his face in your hands and look at him, sighing softly. "I was worried about you."
"I know," he smiles.
He brings one of your hands to his lips and kisses it gently. His eyes don't stay from yours.
Zheng and Auntie hug.
Everyone is together again.
"So we should probably make a plan here," Stede says, looking around.
"Still surrounded by English Soldiers."
"I think a royal hostage could prove valuable," Stede states.
Everyone gathers to hear the plan. It's completely diabolical. Probably the most insane plan you had ever heard. So dangerous and risky, anyone with sense would never go through with it.
"So, that is the plan." Stede says proudly. "We all live to fight another day."
"Or it's a complete suicide mission," Ed says.
The crew agree with that. You and Izzy glance at each other. Once again his hand is nestled in yours.
"It's only suicide if we die."
♡♡♡
You shrug on the blue coat, a size too big for you. You pick up one of the hats from the floor and place it on your head. The crew do the same. Stripping down the soldiers and taking their gear.
A disguise.
Izzy stares at the coat he is holding in his hand. You look at him softly. He doesn't react as you come over to him and slowly take the coat from him. He lets you take it from his hands and lets you help him put it on. You will the coat around him and smile.
"Very handsome."
"I'm not wearing the fucking hat."
You chuckle. "Course not. But I like the coat. Maybe we should get you a nice long coat."
Izzy rolls his eyes and shakes his head with a smile. "Don't be daft."
Once everyone was dressed, Ricky was trusted to you and Izzy, and everyone left the bar. Including Jackie and the Swede. Everyone was going to get off that island.
You were all going to take down as many English as you could. Groups of them were littered around the island.
The crew just needed to reach the shore.
Izzy handles Ricky. You follow him, staying close. The others follow.
"Hello," Ricky greets the group of soldiers. "The operation is over now, so we're just gonna head back to the ships, please."
It could have gone so smoothly.
You hadn't seen Ricky gesture down where he parted his legs enough for Izzy's wooden one to be seen. In a split second Ricky drew a gun and shot it.
"They're pirates!" He yells.
You hear Izzy groan, having been close enough to beside him. Your head snaps to him to see him holding his side. Blood is oozing out.
"Izzy!"
The crew fight the soldiers as you push Izzy to the side. You try to get a good look at the wound, but he refuses to move his hand.
"Izzy..."
"Come on," he grunts. He marches past you and onward. The crew follow. You hurry to catch up to him.
Izzy has been shot! That fucking prick.
The prince gets away.
The path down to the shore is clear. It's a straight run down. The crew will just have to watch behind them.
Izzy is falling behind. You refuse to go on ahead. You come over to his side and hold him where he hasn't been shot.
"Izzy?"
"Just... fuck off." He says it softly, no malice behind his words. He's hurting. When Izzy is in pain, you hurt too.
The crew are being shot at from behind. You hold onto Izzy as best as you can. Ed slows and hurries over, taking Izzy on the other side. You both get him to the boats.
Once everyone is on the ship Ed lays Izzy down. You remove the coat you're wearing to make a cushion for his head. Roach left immediately to get medical supplies.
Izzy looks up at you. There's a lot of blood and everything hurts, but still he sees you clearly. You're keeping pressure on the wound and giving out orders.
He smiles. He likes it when you're bossy.
You look down at him, tears welling up in your eyes. "Look at me, okay? Keep your eyes open. Don't you dare close them."
Izzy just smiles up at you.
"Why are you smiling?" You ask.
"Because you're beautiful," he says.
"Shut up. You're literally bleeding out," you say, but can't help but smile.
"I'm a lucky man."
You look at him, not sure what to say, but at least he was talking to you. You should keep him talking.
"Yeah?"
"Any man would kill to have a partner like you by their side. Especially in our line of work."
"You're getting sentimental..."
"I have that right, don't I? As a dying man."
"You're not going to die. I won't let you." You frown at him.
He continues to smile.
Roach returns with the stuff. You instruct him on exactly what to do. Izzy lays there and looks at you. His beautiful sparrow.
Eventually he passes out.
♡♡♡
Izzy wakes up feeling a horrid ache in his side. He inhales sharply, trying to get himself together before he opens his eyes properly. His mind is a little confused.
Something warm slips into his hand.
Izzy smiles.
His eyes open slowly and he turns his head to look at you. You're watching him closely. You lean forward when you see him wake. His smile brightens.
"Hello, love." His voice is hoarse.
You smile and let out a sigh. "You moron."
"You alright?" He asks.
"Me? I should be asking you that! Do you have any idea how worried I was about you? You passed out on me. I thought... I thought I lost you."
His smile fades as he gazes at you.
"I promised ya, didn't I? I'm never leavin' you again."
You lean over the bed and wrap your arms around him tight. You're careful of his wound. Izzy moves his arm so it wraps around you. He gives you a gentle squeeze.
"I'm sorry, love."
"I was so scared." You look up at him. "What would I do without you?"
He offers you a gentle smile, caressing your cheek gently with his finger. "I don't know. But I do know I'm one lucky man."
You laugh softly. "You already said that."
"I've been shot twice. Both times I've had you nurse me back to health. I'm very lucky." His gaze on you is full of fondness.
"I love you."
He pulls you closer and kisses you. It's slightly desperate, well needed.
"I love you too."
♡♡♡
Lucius and Pete just got married. Despite needing as much rest as he could get, Izzy insisted on being there to watch. It was lovely.
The crew cheer as they kiss.
You smile and look at Izzy. He smiles at you. "Maybe we should try that," he says.
"Try what?" You ask.
He shrugs lightly. "Marrying."
Your expression softens. "Is that a joke?" You ask, not entirely certain.
He shrugs again.
"You thought about it?" You ask.
"It's crossed my mind."
You smile softly. "Guess we'll see what the future holds."
His hand finds yours.
♡♡♡
Ed and Stede stood on the shore. On the horizon The Revenge sails away. The two watch their friends go, leaving them behind. Behind them was a run down building. They hoped to turn it into an inn.
The crew of The Revenge promised they'd be back someday, but they had a mission of their own.
The Revenge was under new command.
Captain Izzy Hands. His first mate, you.
There was a prince that needed hunting down. The Revenge would live up to it's name.
A calm came over the ocean. Like everything was how it should be.
Edward Teach knew deep down everything would be okay. The ship was in good hands and the crew would thrive.
Izzy Hands would thrive. He would live. He has everything to live for. He has you to live for. Just like how Ed had Stede.
Good luck to anyone who tried to mess with the unicorn and his sparrow. They were not people you should trifle with.
Izzy Hands is happy. Happy and in love
♡♡♡
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You’re Our Kid
Dads!Blackbonnet x Daughter!Reader
Cw: Angst, (light) Canon Typical Violence, Harsh self image, not being beta read
—
Izzy Hands was pissed off. Granted, Izzy Hands is always pissed about everything but today was unlike anything the crew of the revenge had seen so far.
In these past few months he had watched Blackbeard, the most feared pirate in the world change before his very eyes. He was cheerful, having people call him ed and falling for Stede Bonnet. It wasn’t right.
Pirates weren't supposed to have attachments. The only thing you could trust was that they were always plotting against each other. Always ready to stab each other in the back or the side. But now ed had a kid and the whole world was upside down.
“Izzy” you called running onto the deck to greet the man “Sorry i’m late, i was helping frenchie with making dinner and I lost track of time. Are you ready for sword practice?”
He looked you up and down with cold eyes. Despite the hours of work you were still happy, still smiling, still the thing that had turned the most feared captain on the seven seas soft.
You had to go.
“Okay kid. We’re going to start with dueling technique” he rasped, drawing his scabbard from his waist and cleaning off the blade. “You’re going to have to face down all sorts and it’s your job to find your way out of it without help.”
You nodded dutifully, listening as the grizzled man eyed you up and down like a cat eyeing a mouse.
“The key is to catch your target off guard,” he continued “never expect a fair fight and never expect backup. In this life you only have yourself to rely on.”
In a sharp movement, Izzy swung his sword, cutting your wrist as your sword spun out of your hand. You glimpsed to the side to see where it had fallen but in the second you had looked away it was already too late.
You fell to the deck, head slamming against the wood hull. The world spun as you looked up, the sun stinging your eyes as you blearily looked at the world. Any mercy that Izzy had shown before had fallen away and as you stared up at what he really was; he was a killer.
Your sword was too far away. “Ste-” you started to call, desperate for some, any kind of help but were cut off as the the sharp point of izzy’s sword began to dig into your neck.
“Oh no you don’t” Izzy sneered “you don’t get to call for their help every time you’re stuck. Do you really think that they care for you? That they see you as anything but a nuisance? You are a passing fancy, and once they get bored of you, they’ll cast you off just like everything else.”
Izzy raised his arms again, scabbard in hand. This time the blow was meant to be deadly. You raised your hands to your face, waiting for the cut of the blade.
“IZZY” a booming voice called from behind the man. Izzy turned his gaze to see Ed running at him full speed, eyes practically glowing with rage as he disarmed his first mate and tackled him to the ground.
As the men fought, you could feel stede hoist you up to your feet. “Its okay my dear, you’re safe now. We’ve got you” he said gently.
The world seemed to sway as the blonde lifted you up. Closing your eyes, you let your head fall against his chest. Everything seemed to hurt and the world was fading further and further away from you.
“My dear i need you to stay awake” Stede said, tenderly stroking your jaw until your eyes opened again. His eyes seemed wilder than you had ever seen before, usual silky timber thick with anxiety. “What did he do darling? What happened?”
You blinked your eyes blearily, your pupils moving in and out of focus. “Me n’ Izzy were training. Said i made you two soft and that I had to go. Next thing I knew I was knocked to the ground.”
Stede’s heart had never broken more than in that moment. You looked so broken, and could not seem to stop shaking beside your best efforts.
“You son of a bitch” Ed snarled, finally pinning Izzy to the ground “what the fuck did you think you were doing? You could have killed her!”
Izzy’s face hardened “I’m doing what has to be done. What you don’t have the courage to do.”
If Ed hadn’t been mad before, he was furious now. He saw your crumpled form clinging onto stede to stay up, the fear in your eyes as you watched ed’s wrath come forward in unholy waves.
“You’re lucky I didn't kill you right here, right now.” Ed spoke, voice dangerously low, his face pushing into Izzy's “If you ever so much as think about hurting my daughter I won't stop at the toes next time.”
Ed pushed himself off, signaling to two of the crew to secure the first mate. “Lock him up in the brig. Bastard needs some time to rot”
It was just as he said this that your legs finally gave out, the world fading to inky black as you faded down into oblivion in the care of two leatherbound arms.
—
The gentle rocking of the boat stirred you from your sleep, your eyes opening to the dim captain’s quarters. Gingerly, you began to raise your head up off of the couch but tendrils of white hot pain reached up your neck.
“Don’t move darling” Stede cooed, pushing your hair back out of your face. “Ed’s gone to fetch some broth and a towel for you. Just relax”
Your head swam, a million questions floating through but one seemed to break through.
“Where’s Izzy?” you asked, your voice tightening suddenly.
Stede’s brows furrowed in confusion “Well, the boys threw him in the brig but i figure Ed wants to throw him in to the bottom of the ocean”
“You should let him out. He was only trying to protect Ed, I wasn't on my mark. I’ll be ready next time.” you spoke, fingers twisting into the fine blanket draped over you.
“He tried to kill you y/n. That man is not walking free any time soon”
“He was right, Stede!” you said, voice cracking as tears began to fill your eyes.
“Right about what little sparrow?” Ed’s voice called from the door.
Silent tears began to stream down your face, the weight of izzy’s words seeming to suddenly flatten you.
“Izzy said i was a bad influence on you. That my being here softened you and that you were better off without me. That you would move on just like everyone else does” you said barely above a whisper, unable to say it any louder before the tears overtook you.
When you looked to the side you expected two sullen faces in stark agreement, but as you looked to the men they had wet eyes taking in everything you had just said.
Ed was the first to break the silence, clearing his throat as it had tightened up. “Is it okay if i touch you y/n?” he asked gently.
You nodded, unable to speak without devolving into a stream of tears. Ed picked up your legs to sit on the couch, slipping them back over him as he took his position on the couch. Stede stayed at your side on the floor, watching you.
“Izzy may have known what i wanted when i was a young man” Ed started, choosing his words carefully as he traced patterns onto your calves “but he hasn’t understood me for a long time. This ship, Stede, You- that’s all I want now.”
You nodded your head slowly “So am i-”
Ed gave out a short laugh “Are you my kid? I’d say in all ways except biologically, yes.”
“And you’re also my kid” Stede interjected, brown eyes darting between the two of you “and as long as me and ed are alive your home is right here with us.”
“Good, that’s exactly where i want to be” you said.
And as the ship sailed on, taking you to unknown places and adventures you knew that there was nothing that would tear the three of you apart.
#blackbonnet fic#blackbonnet#stede x ed#our flag means death#dads!blackbonnet#dad!stede bonnet#dad!ed teach#daughter!reader#dad!blackbonnet x daughter!reader
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There is no me without you
"You should have left me behind".
Helmeppo started at the sound of his best friend's voice. The mood on the ship was low, the celebrations about having successfully rescued Koby quickly ended on the realisation that Garp was staying behind. After that everyone just ….It was now dark and other than those on the night watch in the crows nest, they were the only ones awake.
"What?" Helmeppo asked, turning to Koby.
"You should have left me behind" he repeated, "this is all my fault".
"Koby" Helmeppo started, but Koby continued.
"If I hadn't been so stupid, Garp wouldn't have been injured. He could have been able to keep up and come back to the ship." Koby bent down and buried his face in his hands. "If I was a better captain, I would have been able to have fought better against Hancock and taken her down before Blackbeard even got there. "
Helmeppo was silent for a moment.
"Do you think Garp is stupid? That he has no idea about battle?" He asked.
Koby's head snapped up "Of course not, I just-"
"Am I and the rest of our crew useless or fools because we got turned to stone?"
"NO," Koby shook his head furiously, "I don't mean that at all"
"Then why" Helmeppo continued "would you be saying such shit." He turned and began to pace.
"Garp and every single person on this ship knew the risks. Every single person came of the own free will and were willing to do whatever it takes to get you back".
"But they shouldn't…" Koby started.
"But we did, we fucking did!" Helmeppo yelled, with tears streaming down his face as he turned to face Koby.
"Do you have any idea about how fucking worried I've been, about how worried we've all been? 'We should have left you behind' what bullshit is that? You are the beacon of hope and the proof that marine means something good and worthwhile, everyone damn well knows it! We need you. I need you."
"Helmeppo-san" Koby spoke gently. The anger left Helmeppo's face, replaced with a loom that was both sad and tired.
"I would die for you, I live for you. Please," he begged, "Don't make me be alone, there is no me without you. "
Koby's eyes welled up with tears as he rushed forward, wrapping Helmeppo into a tight embrace. He could feel the taller man shake as he sobbed. It took a while but the crying started to slow down and then eventually stopped. He took a few deep breaths in.
"It's going to be alright". Helmeppo promised "If anyone is going to get away it will be Garp. You'll see. Knowing Garp he'll be back before we are, asking what took us so long."
Koby laughed into his shoulder and then leaned back.
"Your right," Koby admitted "Garp will tell me off for being so silly when he gets back."
"Let's go to sleep. We'll need our energy tomorrow. Garp says we are the future of the marines, so we'll need to think of a plan going forward. Blackbeard, Cross Guild, they need to be stopped for good."
Helmeppo matched his grin and saluted. "Yes, sir." The two then walked together, ready to move forward and stop looking back.
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[Our Flag Means Death] Any Port in a Storm
A storm is something one must fight to live through, at least. The sky is clear and Blackbeard is gone. What is left to fight for or against now?
"We busted our ass to keep you alive. We need you here."
"How did you do it?"
"Shut up."
"No, I mean, how the hell did you do it? We cut off your leg, what, two hours ago? And you gushed out something like half the blood you had in you. Did you drag yourself on your elbows or--"
"Shut the fuck up, I said!"
Izzy’s snarl was enough to cut Archie off, but there was no trace of the usual bite. He sounded exhausted, and would have probably collapsed without Fang’s arm around his waist, holding him up.
Face still bloodied despite the downpour, Jim stood by and said nothing for a few moments. They were faring a lot better than Izzy, but it wasn't much of a bar to step over. They still tasted blood in their mouth, still felt the weight of the cannonball in their hands, and their heart beat so fast it covered even the crash of thunder all around them.
Thunder was what brought them back to the present. They looked up to see more waves coming their way, the Revenge barely able to stay on the crest. "We’ve got to try to stay afloat. Fang, get Izzy back in--"
"I’m not going back inside, we got a storm to weather!" Izzy pushed Fang off himself, faltered, and grabbed onto the rigging for balance. "Take Black-- him--” His voice broke a moment, and he looked away. “... Take the body inside. I'll do my fucking job here."
“We need all hands on deck, I say we just throw him to Davy Jon--” Archie began, starting to crouch to pick up Blackbeard’s body. She likely meant to throw him at sea, just as she suggested, but two things happened in quick succession: a shot rang out and a wave hit the Revenge broadside, causing her to stumble backwards. She caught her footing easily, however, and turned to glare at Izzy - and at the gun still lifted.
“Fuck’s sake, man! You almost blew my hand off!”
“I won’t miss next time!” Izzy barked, features twisted in fury, and pain, and something else Jim was not sure they could name. “He stays on the ship. Don’t fucking touch him. Fang, bring him inside.”
As Fang did as he was asked, Jim turned their gaze away. Seeing Blackbeard so limp in the man’s grasp made something in their stomach squirm. Not guilt, not quite - no choice, the madman had left them no choice - but unpleasant nonetheless.
Really, the fact they had to worry about a storm threatening to drown them was almost a relief. It meant they could let someone else do the thinking for them, and just act.
And Izzy Hands - holding onto the rigging for balance, one leg short, soaked to the bone, pale as la Muerte’s younger cousin, and somehow still able to shout his orders over the storm - did more than enough thinking that night. The kind of thinking that keeps a ship afloat in the midst of a storm in the open sea, without a functioning helm, operating on nothing but its sails.
Later on, no one of the crew would be able to quite tell how they’d been able to pull it off. But neither would they be able to tell how Izzy had managed to appear out of nowhere in the state he was in to prove himself one hell of a marksman in the midst of a storm, so they didn’t ask too many questions.
All that mattered was that Izzy Hands did show up and that, when the storm cleared, they were still there.
***
For a moment as they stared at a rapidly clearing sky Jim wondered, very seriously, if the ship had sunk and they all had died. It seemed too good to be true, having passed the night to find themselves - drenched to the bone, but alive - on the deck of a somewhat battered but still floating Revenge.
Realization seemed to hit the rest of the crew at once, too, because the instant sunlight hit the ship’s deck again a cheer went up - all the loud, unabashed, uncomplicated joy of being alive. Jim smiled, and joined the cheer by throwing back their head and crying out, too, loud enough for their throat to hurt.
There was shit to unpack, but they could do it later. For now, they just celebrated and--
There was a sudden, harsh retching sound, and the cheer immediately died down. The entire crew - well, the four of them - turned to see that Izzy, still holding onto a rope, had suddenly hunched over and heaved. He hadn’t eaten in three days, since infection had begun to take hold of his leg, and he had nothing to bring up but bile. Still, he brought up quite a bit of it.
Concerning amounts, in fact.
“Iz!” Fang moved quickly, and caught him just on time before he let go of the rope and crumpled forward. “Hey now, hey, it’s all right, we’re good now, you’re good,” he spoke quickly, but his words were not doing much good. As he lay Izzy down on his back on the still wet deck, it was painfully obvious how nothing was right. Izzy’s face was pale as ash, wet hair sticking to feverish skin, and he looked at them with unfocused, bloodshot eyes. Despite the makeshift tourniquet, the stump of his leg kept bleeding through the fabric, tinging the deck a pinkish hue.
Right. That. They never got to do anything to close the wound; Blackbeard had walked in, and from then on it had been utter madness. Well, more than usual.
“... We got to cauterize,” Jim heard themself saying, and Frenchie looked over. He was pale, too; the box in his mind, the one where he kept bad things, must be damn close to overflowing.
“With… with fire?”
“No, with perfume and glitter,” Jim snapped. “Yes, with fire. I need you to get one of Roach’s cleavers, the bigger the blade the better, and hold it over fire until it’s hot. Then bring it here quickly. Can you do that?”
“I-- yes. Yeah. Of course.”
As he ran below deck, Jim nodded at Archie. “Help me get his trousers off.”
“Fuck-- nngh-- off--” the weakest groan from Izzy, and he tried to sit up. Fat chance of that, with Fang cradling his head and refusing to let go.
“Stay down, Izzy - down. It’s okay,” he managed, not all that believable but definitely trying his best. Archie rolled her eyes and took a knife from Jim’s belt.
“I’ve got a better idea. Keep him still…”
The belt fastened around the stump was pulled off, and the knife did short work of the fabric still covering it. Moments later the open wound was exposed, all raw flesh and stark white bone, blood oozing slowly. Izzy let out another groan, but he seemed… mostly out of it. It was eerie, how quickly he’d slipped out of consciousness as soon as the storm had passed.
As soon as danger was over. A storm is something one must fight to live through at least. The sky is clear and Blackbeard is gone. What is left to fight for or against now?
Jim swallowed, and did their best to keep the thought out of their mind. Soon enough Frenchie was back, holding up the red-hot cleaver. He carefully passed it to Jim.
“You think we should… move him inside?”
“Let’s not move him too much until this is sorted,” Jim said, trying to sound like they knew what they were talking about. Which they didn’t. Hell would they know? They had only ever used blades to take lives until this madness, not to save them. They held the cleaver tight, and let out a long breath. “... Hold him down.”
Fang was still cradling Izzy’s head, but he reached with one hand to pin his left shoulder down on the floor; Frenchie did the same with the right shoulder, one hand gripping Izzy’s own. Archie shifted to put her entire weight on his right leg and hip; that only left Jim’s own task to do.
And they never shied away from a task.
Flesh sizzled, smoke rose, and Izzy screamed - loud and wordless, trying to thrash but unable to escape the crew’s grip. Fang was definitely crying, Frenchie turned his gaze away and Archie was biting her lower lip bloody, but none of them let go and Izzy remained pinned on the deck until the cry died down in his throat, his eyes rolled back, and he once again went limp.
Only then did Jim pull back, letting the hot cleaver fall on the wet deck, where it sizzled quietly as they caught their breath, trying to ignore the smell like cooked meat. The exposed flesh of Izzy’s stump was now blackened, and no longer bleeding.
Would it be enough to stave off infection? Jim knew fuck all about all that, so they could only hope it would.
Indestructible little fucker, Blackbeard had called him, and it was time to find out if he’d been right.
“It’s okay, Iz, you’re okay,” Fang was choking out, brushing wet hair off his forehead, but Izzy was out cold and did not respond. They all sat there for a few moments, letting the sun warm them, listening to the rolling waves and screaming seabirds.
“... Is it weird that I’m kinda hungry now?” Archie finally spoke up, and Jim laughed for what felt like the very first time in a long while.
“Afraid I threw the leg off board already,” they replied, and more laughter followed - slightly more unhinged, but it didn’t matter right now.
Yes, there would definitely be shit to unpack later - but for now, they were alive.
***
The captain’s cabin.
They put him in the fucking captain’s cabin, in Stede Bonnet’s fucking bed, under several layers of fucking blankets. Bleeding fucking hearts, Izzy thought, turning his gaze away from the window. Beside the bed, Jimenez was slumped against the back of a chair, asleep. Waiting for him to wake up.
Why? I got you out of the storm. What else do you need from me?
“... Wasn’t supposed to fucking survive.”
Izzy’s grunt was enough to make Jimenez’s eyes snap open. They were asleep one moment and perfectly awake the next, gaze sharp and focused. Out of the entire crew Bonnet had hired, they were the single truly competent pirate. Izzy could respect that.
“If you were supposed to die, you’d be dead,” was the response, and they focused on his face. Specifically, on his temple.
Still dizzy and weak as he was - everything hurt everywhere, too, but that was the easiest thing to deal with - Izzy could tell what they were about to ask before they did. "What happened to your head?"
"Gunshot."
Ah. "Blackbeard--?"
"No. I did it."
Another silence. "But you're... here," they whispered.
"Very observant of you. I missed." Part of him expected mockery - fucking useless, he couldn’t even off himself - but there was only another brief silence before Jimenez spoke again.
"I didn't think you could miss," they said in the end. "But I am glad you did."
Cocksuckers, all of you.
"... I suppose someone has to fucking be," Izzy murmured. He opened his eyes again. “Blackbeard…?”
“We kept his body on board. As you wanted.”
His body, of course. He was gone, gone, gone. Izzy swallowed, and turned back to the window. Sunlight was coming in, and he closed his eyes against it.
"Well, I did miss. I'm still here.”
I failed and I am here while h e is not. It is not right. What am I doing in this world when he’s not in it?
“I’m taking your pistol. Just to be sure you won't try again."
A scoff. “Fuck off. Take it. I can jump off board if I please, and you can’t stop--”
"We busted our ass to keep you alive,” Jimenez cut him off. “We need you here."
Can’t do the job, someone else will.
No one needs me here, Izzy almost said, but something was heavy on his stomach, gripping his throat, and he could force out no words. Izzy Hands had long forgotten what it was to live for himself, and he doubted he ever could again. But that thought - he was needed there - felt like something bright and warm, keeping him glued to the ship like a moth to the flame. A port in a storm. And he was tired, too fucking bone tired to argue right now. Maybe he could, should, hold on until he got those twats to the closest safe port.
“... All right,” he managed in the end, staring at the sky outside. He heard Jimenez’s not-too-subtle sigh of relief.
“Gracias."
"Fuck off," Izzy murmured.
Don't make me regret it, he thought, and closed his eyes again, letting the sun dry his face at last.
#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#jim jimenez#frenchie ofmd#fang ofmd#archie ofmd#ofmd spoilers#our flag means death spoilers#no beta we die like izzy
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The pearl of the Queen Anne's revenge - Edward Teach x reader
Summary: Years and years before Stede Bonnet there was you, the bright snarky pirate who wore pearls and a smile that captured the hearts of all the crew. (An Edward Teach x reader with slight Izzy x reader).
Comments and reblogs are much appreciated and help more people read my works.
A/N: Gender neutral but written with a nonbinary and/or trans masc reader in mind! The crew are all queer and polyamorous so sorry cis people, read any other fan fic in the world. (And yes this is a re-do from a deleted blog of mine, the old blog has my old pronouns and name so please ignore it.)
It is a cool bright day out at sea, the fluffy white clouds moving in clumps through the periwinkle blue sky so bright and cheery.
Then there’s Blackbeard’s ship so dark and looming with loud jubilant cheering sounding from the ghost ship, said ship drifting off from a now ransacked boat that has been deserted in the middle of the ocean.
“Everyone, smile we have treasure.” You giggle as you hold up a line of pearls with a delicate heart shaped gem charm hanging from the middle of it.
“Did you take the matching ring as well?” a crew mate clad head to toe in black leather asks which makes you raise the shiny ring up to the sun to your own delight.
The heart red gem, though deep and void like reflects the sun off of it like glitter, the gem yet to be tarnished by years of wear.
You had snatched the rich woman necklace whilst the rest of the crew were maiming, the matching ring taken from her lover who was also on board, his ring finger having to be sadly severed to get the matching set.
“We got so much and I didn’t even have to kill anyone!” you squeal.
“Stop being stupid (y/n).” Izzy snarls as he hangs being Ed like a guard dog, “We should have killed the lot of them.”
You spin around to Izzy, thus also spinning around to face your dear friend Ed, and you grimace with an immature mirth.
“Ohhhhh don’t be stupid (y/n) have a heart Izzy.” You mock as you try to clasp the line of pearls around your neck the tiny thing more like a choker on your bare neck, “They we’re just some rich pricks, nothing worth killing.”
Fang and Ivan laugh at your antics before promptly being shut up by a scolding glare from Izzy Hands himself.
“What do you think being a pirate is, huh?” Izzy has now stepped closer to you his voice low in a growl.
If you weren’t arguing with him you’d say the shorter man, not yet aged by the sea like some men on-board are, was quiet handsome in an angry Chihuahua short of way.
You stride close to Izzy, big black heeled boot rattling the deck, your grimace turning into an annoyingly playful smirk.
“Stealing shit Izzy, not killing innocents-” You reply as you jam you finger into his forehead.
Normally you’d jam a finger into a person’s chest to prove you point but you like to piss off the angry little man by using his height against him, “- not every ship we come across has to be burned to the bottom of the sea.”
Izzy is seething none the less, his eyes concentrating on you.
He may want to deck you right now but he knows not to lay a single finger on you because Blackbeard likes you too much.
You watch as he grates his teeth his eyes sharp and filled with rage, the cogs in his mind working overtime to think of something to say back to you.
“You killed the captain, why kill the rich pompous opera singer who was doing her job singing whilst fucking the second mate.”
You words are low and quite, vibrating in your chest.
Many people forget that you’re a feared criminal, young with the anger of a sea storm in your heart, Izzy most certainly does remember this most of the time, and really you could kill him in one swift motion if you wanted to.
Instead with a condescending pat to his cheek, your fingers tapping the freshly tattooed cross on his face in the most childish way possible, you step back.
Your royal red coat undone to show the knife strapped to you thigh, the sharp thing gleaming in the sun’s rays, you laugh a joyful laugh.
The crew is quiet as they watch on.
Blackbeard stands.
“Izzy, mate, lay off.”
Blackbeard, otherwise known as your Ed, is a bit shaky standing, his knee giving him some trouble despite him being as young as you.
His hair is growing out and still is mostly black, the feared Captain looking more like a Labrador puppy right now than the Kraken.
He smiles and bounds over to pat his angry little friend on the shoulder. Izzy only walks away in a huff.
“And you.” He says playfully, “You need to stop that.”
A song bird like laugh as bright as the blue sky echoes out your lips as you walk back to your captain.
“I don’t know what you mean?” you say when you’re close enough to Ed to see his handsome face up close.
“You know what I mean (y/n).” he so close to you it’s almost too tempting to lean in and kiss him like you’ve always wanted to do.
His eye gleam and sparkle as he looks at you, you’re not sure why, but you like to imagine some reasons.
First he looks you up and down, checking there’s no harm done to you, then he looks to the knife strapped to your thigh, then back to your eyes with a knowing look.
He’s about to open his mouth and playfully tell you off some more but you speak instead.
“Ed-“
“-Yes.” He says a tad too quick, too eager, which you like.
“Help me put these pearls on handsome.”
You pass him the line of pearls held together with fine thread and delicate golden clasps, the type of clasps that are too fiddly to clip together without another person to help.
You turn around moving your coat down to your shoulders and pulling any stray strand of hair out the way so he can put the necklace on properly.
The cold feeling of the cluster of pearls lay on your chest, the necklace laying nicely on display for everyone to see and marvel at.
Ed’s fingers brush the back of your neck.
Maybe there was a stray hair or a bit of fluff, whatever it was his fingertips feel electric.
His fingers keep bumping on the back of your neck warmed by the sun’s rays and that heat travels up to your face making you flush.
The clasp is hard to clip onto the small metal loop but Ed does it without fail.
His hands still don’t move after it’s done, not for a second anyway.
You stand still, the feeling of his fingers ghosting over your skin buzzing in such a way that you want him to hold you, feel you more. When he does move he does so to rearrange your shirt collar and to pull you lowered red coat back up.
“…All done.” Ed whispers.
“Really?” you turn around, still so close to him, “How do I look?”
His breath hitches ever so slightly at the sight of you.
Even with all of your outfit stolen; from the rich red Captains coat nicked from an English sailor to the white flowing shirt that once was owned by Fang, now the pearls too, you look to colourful and bright for the dark crew.
To Edward Teach you look like a painting, one done by a master of art, the type of painting done with oil paints bright and pigmented with brushes fine and expensive. You look like a piece of art that has been perfected, one by a man who has sat down for hours, days, even weeks brushing down the beauty of his muse so gorgeous and sunny.
“Ed?” you smile.
“Yes, yes!” he is pulled out his thoughts for a moment.
“I will need help taking these off later on.”
You step back from him.
“You will?”
“Yes, I’ll be by later on.”
Ed nods his head.
You’ll be in his cabin later on then.
#not proofread#our flag means death#ofmd#our flag means death x reader#ofmd x reader#edward teach#edward teach x reader#izzy hands#izzy hands x reader
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Frenchie was slowly but surely piecing together what had happened.
When Blackbeard returned to the ship broken, devastated, and without Stede, most of the crew assumed Captain Bonnet’s luck had finally run out.
Frenchie had other suspicions.
He knew rich people, knew how they worked. Sure, Stede seemed different at first glance, but after a few days at the naval academy, surrounded by people like him, he might have found a renewed appreciation for where he came from. Leveraged his name or his closeness with Blackbeard to escape the squalor that usually awaited a captured pirate, leaving Edward to take the heat for both of them.
A few weeks after the loss of half of their crew, Frenchie had managed to sneak off the ship at port, and heard that Stede Bonnet had escaped the academy to return to his wife and children.
There was something about a jungle cat, but Frenchie was too overcome with rage to keep listening.
From what he could piece together, Stede had cajoled Edward into risking their lives with an escape attempt, and then used it to leave him for the old life he’d professed to hate.
Leave all of them, Frenchie realized with a pang. Bonnet had taken all of them in with his promises of people positive management and talking things through, made them feel like a family, and then left when he got bored.
As he saw Izzy approaching the Captain’s cabin, Frenchie knew he would only make the situation worse, so he sprung to his feet and shoved him aside.
“Let me talk to him.”
Surprisingly, Izzy didn’t argue.
Frenchie gave a slight knock on the door as a formality, and then crept into the cabin.
Edward was curled up in the window that used to house Stede’s bed. His eyes were bloodshot, and he clearly hadn’t slept. He look utterly wrecked.
“What now, Izzy?” he groaned.
“It’s not Izzy.”
Ed raised his kohl-covered eyes to look at Frenchie, happy, despite everything to see a hopefully friendly face.
“What do you need, kid?”
“I wanted to see if you’re okay,” Frenchie walked over and joined him on the ledge.
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I think it’s shit what Bonnet did to you.”
Ed jerked upward: “Don’t talk about him! Don’t mention his name in here.”
“He manipulated all of us,” Frenchie was undeterred, “I’ve seen it before.”
The anger drained from Ed’s eyes, replaced with curiousity, “What do you mean?”
“I spent most of my life working for people like him. This is what they do. Get people to love them, give them affection, and use it until it bores them. Saw one rich fuck about my age court a peasant girl for years, wed her in private, and then bribe the officiant to lie so he wouldn’t lose his inheritance. She was ruined. And that’s not even mentioning the ones with other interests. There was truly a shocking amount of young rich guys who like to fuck their stable boys or servants and then cry ‘he came onto me’ when their wives catch them.”
“Shitheads,” Ed muttered.
“My point is, you aren’t alone here, Edward. He’s the asshole. I’ve held plenty of my friends while they cried over people just like him. Please, don’t let one man ruin your entire life.”
“I..am sorry, about your friends. About Lucius. He’s the one who convinced me Stede liked me, and I thought he was in on it. Some big plan to get one over on Blackbeard.”
“Don’t worry about Lucius,” Frenchie was thrilled to be able to give good news, “he’s hiding in the walls! Nothing happened that can’t be fixed.”
“Nothing can be fixed with Izzy here,” Ed sighed, “he’s watching like a hawk, for any signs that Blackbeard is slipping away again. I already took a toe, I’m not sure how else to hold him off. I can’t bring myself to kill him.”
Frenchie put a hand on Ed’s shoulder: “You have Jim.”
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Okay, maybe this is just due to OFMD’s hand-wavy plotting — or maybe it has something to do with the fact that I’m writing this at 2:00am and am thus forgetting something important, that’s always a distinct possibility — but what exactly does Spanish Jackie get out of this team-up with the British + Izzy? I mean, I know she says she’s got beef with Stede because “He broke my nose jar and one of his crew murdered my favorite husband” but she also kinda... doesn’t? Because we watched Jackie choose to let Stede go once she learned Blackbeard wanted to speak with him, despite the whole nose jar thing. That’s settled by her telling him not to come back. And then we watch Jim show up of their own free will, entirely unrelated to Izzy’s plot, and Jackie’s having drinks with them in under three minutes. Unlike the very strong motivations of “I want Stede Bonnet dead for murdering my brother” and “I want Stede Bonnet dead because he’s ‘done something to my boss’ brain,’” Jackie just seems to be involved because Izzy had nowhere else to go. I mean, does she actually do anything besides providing a place to meet?? Calico Jack is the one who does all the work of separating Ed from Stede, Chauncey leads his armada to attack The Revenge, and Izzy is ready in the wings to take over as Captain. Jackie, meanwhile, just kinda chills and presumably has no idea whether this plot of theirs even worked.
On the one hand, a lifetime of analyzing media has me hooked on Izzy’s promise that he can “offer a more lucrative proposal” than Geraldo’s bar food idea, suggesting that Jackie was meant to get something else out of all this, beyond the — meh— pleasure of Stede dying. It kind of sounds like Izzy meant to repay her somehow once he was in charge, or things were back to normal with Blackbeard. That would also fit with the various theories that Izzy tied himself to the British and/or simply intended for a very different outcome for them all (beyond Stede’s obvious death) before the Act of Grace threw a wrench in those plans.
ON THE OTHER HAND, acknowledging that OFMD is a loose collection of plot-points working almost purely in service of queer romance and fun, I love the idea that Jackie is just... there. That’s it. That’s the reasoning. She’s there because she’s Spanish Jackie and she’s awesome. Like no, she never actually had a larger role to play, or a major stake in this outcome, which makes Izzy’s scenes with her SO much funnier to me. This rat man swaggers in promising to make you money, so you offer the guy a free drink and agree to hear him out, but then he proceeds to just bitch about his crush’s crush for god only knows how long, periodically burning himself on your candles and scaring off any other patrons. Then this admiral or whatever shows up, questions your name, is generally stinking up the place, the rat man is still talking like falling in love is some kind of disease, and you’re... just going along with all this, you guess? Yeah, Stede Bonnet is a strange and off-putting man. Dude broke your nose jar. You wouldn’t mind him being dead. But wasn’t the rat man going to make you money? Why the fuck are we teaming up with these assholes now? Geraldo, how did this happen?
Oh look, now Jim’s here.
I don’t have a point beyond my enjoyment of Jackie potentially vibing in the background of this entire mess. Does she actually know what’s happening? Eh, only kind of. Is any of this turning out like how she was promised? Not in the least. She’s going along for the ride only to realize halfway through that the ride is not what she expected, but hell, she already paid for a ticket, so no sense getting off now. Season 2 Izzy is going to show up again, do another sexy wall lean, slick back his hair, spout off some nonsense about needing her for the next Grand Plan, and Jackie will just be like, “Babygirl, you’re here to talk smack and drink me dry, don’t pretend.” Whether she let’s him, kills him, or makes him her next husband remains to be seen.
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Ngl I'm stoned and this is a lil dumb, but hopefully there's enough silly funny bits to make up for it lol
anyway, in which Calico Jack gets a new ship, and goes shopping for a new crew! Well, poaching, actually. Stealing, really. Not even well, but he's trying.
Steddyhands, but it's not the main focus of this, that is reserved for Jack's Fuckery lmao. NSFW in some bits, but not too graphically. There are some stabbings as well, but it's all one person at least.
---
"Ain't she beautiful?"
Ed nodded. "She is. She's also mine."
Jack did a double take between Ed and the ship. "Nah."
"Yeah? Literally, on the side there: Queen Anne's Revenge. Izzy painted it on; you were with us that day!"
"That could be a typo," Jack protested. "Pirates are not known for spelling accuracy. Besides, I found her fair and square, floatin' along."
"Right, because we meant to go back and get her at some point. I had Izzy put up the 'be right back' sign on the helm, did it fall off?"
Jack frowned. "Might have seen such a sign. Recognized the handwriting."
"And stole my ship anyway?"
"Look, if you don't want your shit stolen, then don't make it so stealable," Jack muttered. "Besides, would you rather anyone else have her?"
Ed shrugged. "Fair point. You said you've got a new crew?"
Jack led him further down the beach, back towards everyone else laying out on the sand. "Well, not yet. Actually, that's why I was so glad to see you guys! How would you feel about a mutiny, and then you all come join me, and we sell Steve?"
Ed groaned. "Seriously? I screamed in your fucking face that Stede-"
"Steve?"
"No, Stede!"
"Who? We're talkin' about Steve, right?"
Ed dropped onto the sand mid-step. "I can't tell if you're fucking with me and trying to be funny, or if you honestly think we have a Steve and Stede onboard."
"Look, you wanted change, right? What better change than a little demotion? I captain, you can be first mate for me, and we'll sell Izzy and Steve."
Ed stood up with a start. "Hang the fuck on. You want to demote me to the arguably much shittier job of first mate, and you want to sell off my boyfriends?"
Jack raised a brow. "Oh. Both of 'em, huh? You always did like a challenge. Or you wouldn't have ever fucked me, right?"
"You're not really answering the question."
Jack threw up his hands. "Fine. We'll do this the hard way. I'll convince your crew to join me, then we'll sell you, Izzy, and Stede."
"Hey! You got it right!" Ed smiled. "But also if you do actually try and poach our crew, I'll do whatever I have to do to stop you, Jack. I don't want to, but I will."
Jack laughed. "Okay, you do that. You maim me or beat me to a pulp, big scary Blackbeard!"
Ed giggled. "I will! You're not nearly as good a friend as you were before too so I mean, maybe consider that. Kind of already upset with you! Won't take much more to really piss me off!"
Jack stepped closer. "I'd like to see you like that. Pissed off, ready to rip me apart. Bet you still couldn't."
"Jack-"
"I need a crew. Yours sucks, but I'm not in a place to be picky. Whoever doesn't agree with me can go in a cage with you and your boys, and we'll buy something nice for the ship with whatever we get for all of you."
Ed frowned. "Not that badly decorated, is she? I know Izzy said I've got too many skulls around-"
"It is a lot of skulls," Jack interrupted. "But nah, it ain't that bad. No, I just think it'll piss you off knowing I'm using that money to redecorate your quarters. My quarters, now."
"Everyone warned me that I wouldn't want you as an ex," Ed sighed. "Think I understand that now."
"I got a reputation to uphold," Jack grinned. "Anyway, don't mind me skulking around chatting up your crew. You can't stop me, nothing wrong with talkin' to people!"
Ed nodded as he watched Jack walk off, whistling as he kicked up sand. He needed to talk to Stede, ASAP.
--
"Izzy!"
"Jesus fucking chr-the fuck is wrong with you?!"
Izzy nearly dropped the wooden box of marmalade jars he was hauling from the Revenge's galley at Jack's appearance, though that was bullshit in and of itself. He had told Ed and Stede they'd inevitably want more than the few jars they'd grabbed so why not take more right away? But no, they were stubborn and didn't and now he couldn't leave them sans marmalade, that would be cruel-
"You keepin' the wives happy?" Jack's fingertip slide across the edge of the box. "Please tell me this isn't what y'all use for lube."
"Who the fuck would do that?" Izzy scoffed, then remembered who he was talking with. "Christ, no, they've just got a slight addiction to this with toast. Speaking of, I'm expected back."
Jack's hand slapped flat on the front of the box. "They can wait a little longer."
Izzy rolled his eyes. "I appreciate the intimidation tactic, but those two will come looking shortly, and they're hungry on top of it all. That is actually intimidating, so if you'll kindly get the fuck out of my way."
"Izzy," Jack hissed, leaning forward. "We could be so good together."
"I don't know if this is a come on or an attempt to make me join you as crew, but I'm not interested in either," Izzy said as he shifted the box onto his hip. "I only need the one hand free to stab you, Jack. I would love the opportunity. If you don't move now, then I'll take it."
Jack clucked his tongue. "Thought you'd be an easier target than this."
"Hm."
"Don't really know what to do now," Jack admitted. "It wasn't a come on, but, since we're alone here on this nice big ship..."
Izzy blinked. "Right. You do whatever you feel you need to; I'll go let Roach know we'll need to deep clean this area, and bring the boys their marmalade before they riot."
"Izzy, come on. You seriously don't want a chance at something new? Something more?"
Izzy scoffed. "As if you'd have me as first mate. No, I'm sure you'd take the first chance to kill, maroon, or sell me off. I'm not an idiot, Jack. Here's what you should know from here on out-"
With the box still balanced on one hip, he pulled a knife from his belt. "I am very happy with the current situation. Believe me, it surprised me at first too-"
"You are a miserable bastard," Jack interrupted with a chuckle.
Izzy nodded, then stabbed the knife into Jack's abdomen.
"Well then," Jack panted. "You meant it, with the stabbing."
"In all the years I've had to trail after you and Edward, making sure neither of you wandered drunk into the sea, have I ever lied to you about all the harm I'd like to do to you?"
Jack nodded. "You have threatened me a lot over the years!"
Izzy smirked. "And you didn't listen to a word of it. Now, I'm taking my knife back, and I'm getting this marmalade to the boys. And if you try to poach anyone else off this crew, so help me I will stab you until there's nothing solid enough left to stab."
He yanked his knife from Jack's flesh, and strode out. Thankfully, he hadn't gotten any blood on the box or any of the jars.
--
"Sup?"
Roach stared into the trees, specifically eyeballing the one he was pissing closest to. "Sorry?"
"Not bad," Jack popped out from behind one of the trees. "Your dick, I mean. Was flippin' through that book Steve has, what's-his-name did a good job drawing yours."
Roach finished and put himself away while pondering a response. "His name is Lucius, and it's Stede, not Steve-"
"Who is?"
Roach shook his head. "Forget it. Thanks, I guess. About my...yeah. I'm gonna head back to the crew, if you want to j-"
"Join! Me, no! But you, could join me, yes!" Jack grinned.
"Was your goal to make a pitch using the fewest words possible?" Roach asked. "Because you did it, but it was weird. Weird for you, which I think is an important distinction."
"So, you'll be my chef?"
"No! Nothing I said was anything about doing that!"
Jack frowned. "Shame. Your cooking is amazing."
At that, Roach couldn't hold back a smile. It was at least partially just Jack trying to butter him up, but fuck it, it was still complimentary enough.
"Would love to have that sort of fine work onboard the Quee-uh, the King Jack's... Revenge..Revenger."
Roach nodded. "Very sweet of you, but I'm good where I am. The offer to join us for a midnight snack still stands though; we're making s'mores!"
He peered down Jack's front. "Is that blood?"
"Just a little bit, Izzy didn't like being asked to join me, and boy howdy did he let me know! He's a scrappy lil guy, huh?"
Roach smirked. "What if I tell him that I met you out here?"
The color drained from Jack's face, though that might have been the stab wound as much as anything else. "No, you don't have to-why would he even want to know that, I mean...ah fuck it, you ain't worth it! I'll find a better chef!"
Jack went crashing off into the trees, with a final bird flipped to Roach as he went.
"This is why we need piss break buddies," Roach muttered to himself. "Everyone thinks it's 'oh Roach is afraid of the dark', but no, it's weird shit like this! That's what we need someone with for!"
He made a mental note to tell Izzy about the encounter first thing when he got back. He had a feeling he would burn hot enough they could heat the s'mores over him instead of the fire.
--
"No."
"I didn't even say anything yet," Jack chuckled. "C'mon Jim. You and I haven't even spent any time together, and I bet you're jealous of the rest of them over it."
"Could you fuck off?" Jim asked sharply. "Even if I wasn't in the middle of this, the answer would still be no. Roach warned us you were hiding out and doing this."
Olu lifted his head from between Jim's thighs. "Seriously! You are really fucking distracting, and this is fucking rude! Would you storm into someone's bedroom while they were fucking and ask them to join your crew?"
"Have done that once before, actually," Jack said as he sat down by Jim's head. "Don't let me interrupt."
"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Jim shouted, and a startled cry went up from the campsite near the beach.
"Damn it," Jack hissed. "Thanks a lot; if Izzy stabs me again it is your fucking fault!"
Jim glared, held out their hand for a knife, and jabbed the one Olu handed them into Jack's arm.
"Now that's unnecessary," Jack scoffed. He yanked the knife out, then stood and darted back into the trees, just as Izzy and Roach came crashing into the clearing.
"He's gone already," Roach sighed. "Fuck."
"You know the ship would be more comfortable than here," Izzy commented to Jim.
Jim handed the blooded knife back to Olu, and tossed an arm over their eyes. "Yes. Yes it would be. But we thought we'd have more privacy in the fucking jungle! Than anywhere else! And we were wrong!"
"We'll go," Roach said gently, tugging Izzy by the elbow. "Sorry about all of this."
"Right, we'll get him the next time," Izzy nodded.
"Sure, great, thank you!" Olu shouted as they crashed back through the brush. "Should we try the ship instead?"
"Nah, at least they know which area to avoid now. Not exactly privacy, but I'll take it," Jim sighed. "You still good down there?"
"Wouldn't want to be anywhere else."
--
"So, we aren't hunting Jack down to kill him, in theory," Ed said. "Just to make him fuck off, or chill the fuck out and stop bothering everyone about joining his crew on my ship. That he stole."
"Yeah, you keep mentioning that," Frenchie noted.
"Yeah, well, it was a really dick move," Ed said. "So I think it bears repeating."
"The goal is to talk to him," Stede added. "If you feel you will be moved only to violence instead of words, then please come get one of us. That way we can try the talking bit, and if it doesn't work we always have violence as a solid back up plan."
"A note on that," Izzy said. "Do not get me for the talking bit, only Ed or Stede. I am on the side of violence first, so if you want help in any violence against him, that's when you find me."
Stede smiled and clapped his hands together. "Perfect! Everything crystal clear, we all have snacks and water... let's get going!"
Before anyone could take a step, Jack forced himself through a small gap between two trees near their camp. "Ah ha! Thought you'd- ouch, fuck-seen the last of old...hang on, fuckin' coat is stuck...there, the last of old Calico Jack?! Well, here I am!"
He was covered in dirt, blood, hair greasy and a mess. At some point he'd managed to lose both his boots but gained a new one that was nothing like his original pair.
"Okay, that makes things easier!" Stede said. "We need you to stop this, Jack. You're a sensible... well. You're a man who understands...no. You...if someone went around poaching your crew, if you had one, that would bother you, yes?"
Jack nodded.
"Well, that's our issue," Stede continued. "I respect and understand you want a crew of your own again. However, and I will speak plainly: you're a fucking menace. And if you think you should be scared of Izzy over this, then you're both right and wrong. Right, because he does want to stab you again, but wrong, because if you keep trying to steal my crew, I'll gouge your fucking eyes out with my bare hands. Ed taught me how to do that a few weeks ago, and I could use the practice!"
Dead silence.
Then, Ed, softly.
"Jack. I need to take Stede back to the ship, immediately. I'm going to give you two minutes to make it back to my ship that I'm going to let you keep borrowing-"
"Come on," Jack interrupted. "Just face it; I stole her fair and square! Also, weird seeing you hard in those pants when I'm not the one causing it. Kinda hate it, actually."
Ed glared at him. "As I was saying. You may continue to borrow my ship for now. You have two minutes to return to it before the crew gets to chase after you. Ship is safe, but if you have even a toe off it-"
He shrugged. "I would make sure I'm on the ship by then. Were it me."
"I hate how hot it is when you talk like that," Jack chuckled. Then, with a tired sigh, he burst into a sprint towards the Queen Anne's Revenge.
"Are you actually gonna send us after him?" Wee John asked. "Seems a waste of time."
"Can if you want, but he's always been a spry fucker. He'll probably be onboard and below deck before we know it," Ed replied. "But I do need to get Stede back to the ship-"
"Yeah, yeah, you wanna fuck his brains out for the eye gouging threat," Jim laughed. "We know; you aren't subtle."
Ed nodded. "So Stede, Izzy, and I will be busy for the rest of the night. You all...do whatever you want. Come back onboard, spend the night camping out here, whatever makes you happiest. If Jack bothers you-"
"Threaten to stab him," came the crew's chorus.
--
On the Queen Anne's Revenge, Jack bandaged his wounds. Maybe having his own ship again wasn't the right thing, right now.
At the sound of distant moaning, he looked out from his quarters with his spyglass. There, in the window of the Revenge's main quarters, he could see Ed and Stede and Izzy and shedding clothes...
He set the spyglass down after a moment, and pondered if they needed anyone in a role like that. To bring water, snacks, clean towels, more lube, etc.
He decided he'd start asking around with the crew in the morning.
#text post#ofmd fic#i love jack in a weird way where I just want to give him problems but also make him cause problems on purpose#i also love him and ed in this post we gull way back space of very upset still but yet shared history#and probably some left over caring and it's all a big messy tangle in both their minds#and it leads to weird shit like this lmaooo#steddyhands#ship isn't the main feature but wanted to tag so folks can filter out if needed since it does come up in this
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The Accidental Seduction of Edward Teach by Stede Bonnet, Gentleman Pirate - Chapter 3, Minuet
This story begins assuming Calico Jack left the Revenge, Ed stayed, and Jack didn't betray the crew to the English. How would the slow burn of Ed and Stede's relationship have carried on? How long would it take for them to realize their feelings for each other in the absence of life-changing events?
Plot-light, especially compared to my hypothetical S2 fic, A Pirate's Life for Us. The main driver of plot is Ed and Stede's accidental flirtation and growing intimacy.
Fluff and non-graphic smut.
-----
Stede gives Ed a gift. It goes well at first, but Ed grows frustrated by the lack of progress in their relationship.
Notes: This is the piece Ed is playing during the first part of this chapter.
------
“Fuck off. You got that for me?”
“I will not. And I did,” said Stede as he beamed at Ed.
Ed was standing in their shared quarters, staring flabbergasted at a fortepiano that Stede had just unveiled with a flourish. Even the cloth he’d used to cover it before the reveal was loud and decorated with an intricate pattern of pineapples and birds of paradise.
Stede looked deeply pleased with himself, both with the acquisition and Ed’s reaction.
“How did you even get it in here?” asked Ed incredulously.
“Well, it was no small job, I’ll tell you that. They had to tilt it on its side and then I had to have a man in here to make sure you could still play it. It won’t be like a piano on shore, but you should be able to pick up your playing,” And then Stede added, a bit shyly, “...if you like. No pressure, of course.” And suddenly he was looking like he was recalculating and worrying he’d made a big mistake.
Ed walked around the piano and ran his fingers over the keys. The instrument was clearly secondhand and well-loved, but it produced a pure sound for a relatively small instrument. “Mental,” he mumbled. “I haven’t seen a piano on a ship, well, since I first sailed.”
“If you hate it…we can get rid of it. It’s…well, I’m sure I could sell it.” Stede stood a distance away, suddenly tense and awkward.
Has he given you presents?
Ed heard Lucius’ words of advice from a week or so prior when he’d played relationship counselor in the wee hours of the morning.
“Why would I hate it? It’s a fucking piano on a pirate ship,” Ed gestured to the instrument in question. “It’s absolutely ridiculous. I love it.”
Stede exhaled like he’d been holding his breath. His face relaxed. “I never did ask. How did… you learn to play? Of all the skills I’d imagine Blackbeard would have, music wasn’t high on the list. No offense.”
“None taken.” Ed seated himself at the fortepiano and slid his long fingers over the ivories, producing a soft tone. “I was young. Scrawny. Just started sailing. Didn’t have any real skills. Captain Hornigold loved the piano. He had a man called Mister Yarrow who used to play for him. But he had terrible arthritis in his hands and couldn’t really play anymore. I was told if I could learn to play enough to entertain Hornigold, I could keep my berth.”
Ed hadn’t thought about his earliest days in a very long time. That was when things still felt relatively optimistic. He’d left his home and his mother behind - a mother who had never really forgiven him for killing his father despite the man’s drunken abuse. In killing him, he’d removed her support system.
“How old were you?” Stede asked cautiously as he stepped closer.
“Oh…fourteen,” said Ed as he started to play Handel’s Minuet. He hadn’t played in years, but he’d played that particular piece so frequently that his fingers remembered exactly how to bounce over the ivories, to dance with a light touch. It was a sad, melancholy sound. The small piano wasn’t perfect, but his competent playing got the most out of it. Some bits, he struggled to dig up from the depths of his memory.
Stede moved up behind him. He felt hands on his shoulders, resting on the nape of his neck as the music grew more intense and sadder.
Ed saw flashes. His mother’s face. Captain Hornigold, harsh and demanding but neither as cruel nor drunken as his own father. He felt Yarrow’s lash as he got the notes wrong. He remembered going to bed with aching fingers and swollen knuckles, both from the hours of piano tutelage and manual labour of learning to be a sailor.
“You started sailing…at fourteen?” asked Stede.
“Twelve,” Ed replied. “Soon after my father died. He was a bastard, but he paid the bills. My mother couldn’t afford to keep us both fed and clothed, so I had to make my own way soon after.” His words were matter-of-fact, and distracted by his attempt to dredge up the notes from the dark recesses of memory.
“Oh, Ed,” said Stede softly.
Ed felt the man’s aristocratic fingers cup the side of his neck. His hands were warm and soft. Stede swept his hair over one shoulder and pressed fingers into his tense neck muscles.
The music of the minuet was infused with the sadness of his memories. Ed closed his eyes and concentrated on the music itself, and the warmth of Stede’s body as he stood behind him.
The longer the music went on, the closer Stede got, until he felt the man pressing against his back, hands on either shoulder. He felt fingers sweep over his collarbone, and along his neck. And for a time, both men were lost to the melancholy music. Ed just let his muscle memory dance his fingers across the keys.
Long after the last note had echoed through their shared quarters, both men were still. The only sound was the gentle rocking of the ship, the distant murmur of the crew’s conversation, and the steady, deep breaths from both of them.
“Extraordinary,” whispered Stede after what felt like an age of silence. “Ed, you’re very talented.”
“Mhmm, no I’m not. I’m rubbish,” Ed murmured self-consciously. “People’ve told me so. You’re just being…” he turned his head and looked up at the man who still stood close enough he could feel the rhythm of his breathing, “...being…Stede.” His eyebrows lifted.
“Now, listen. You know where I come from. I’ve had occasion to hear many talented people in my life. I’ve even heard that piece before. But I’ve never heard it like that.” Stede squeezed his shoulder and moved around him, hand still on his shoulder. “I meant it when I said we could get rid of it if it’s got bad memories for you. But if you think you want to keep playing, well…”
Ed looked at Stede, then looked shyly away and at the keys. “Mhmm, I dunno. It’s not very piratey.”
“But does it give you joy?”
Ed considered the keys in front of him. He touched a few and listened to the notes. He hadn’t thought about the piano in a very long time, until they’d encountered the one at the posh party. It had come back to him as easily as swimming. Easier, really, seeing as he was a terrible swimmer. He had never played for his own edification - just, like so much else in his life - to survive. But something felt different now, seeing the effect it had on Stede. “Well…” he mumbled, “...I like that you like it.”
Stede moved around to the front of him. And for the first time, the other man touched his face, cupping his cheek through his voluminous beard. He pressed through until he found the curve of Ed’s jaw. “If you keep playing, I want it to be for you. Not for me.”
“Awwh,” intoned Ed shyly. He tried to look away, but the hand on his jaw stopped him from turning his head too far. “Maybe we can keep it. For a bit. But if it turns into a thing we just throw clothes on, we might want to get rid of it?”
Stede smiled, “That’s a deal, then. I won’t pressure you to play it. You just play whenever it strikes your fancy.”
—
Maybe it was because it seemed to make Stede happy, but Ed started playing the piano nearly daily. He’d play a happy little tune while they waited for their breakfast, bawdy tunes to entertain the crew, or as an accompaniment to Frenchie or The Swede as they sang and played. But it was never quite as intimate as that time when he first played that sweeping, sad minuet.
Ed kept looking for that moment to reoccur, but as it seemed to be the pattern, the moments of intimacy between them never quite progressed. It was driving the pirate half-mad. He had these moments of deep connection, but he was terrified to push lest he scare Stede away.
Until one night, both were alone in their quarters, and Stede asked Ed to play something for him. Ed nearly refused, as he’d fallen into a fit of grumpiness, convinced once again that the aristocrat didn’t return his feelings despite what he felt were obvious signs. He started out to play something loud and plunky, with no flare. The frustration spilled out onto the keys.
Stede stepped over and reached out to take Ed’s hands. “Hey…you’ll wake the whole ship.” He squeezed his hands. “Maybe no piano tonight, then, ay? Why don’t we go to bed? I can read you something if you’d like.”
On another night, that offer would be welcome. Ed had spent many a night listening to Stede’s voice as they laid beside each other in bed. It didn’t really matter what it was - it relaxed him and helped him drift off to sleep. But tonight, he was far too frustrated and restless.
“Not sleepy,” Ed muttered. “Going out on deck.”
He didn’t look back to see Stede’s reaction.
—
Ed didn’t make it as far as the aft deck before he ran into Izzy in the corridor. His right hand man was drunk, judging by the scent of rum on his breath. He had never been a particularly heavy drinker, but the longer they stayed on the Revenge, the more the man seemed to partake.
“I remembered when you used to come to me to bandage the knuckles that Yarrow made bloody and raw from the stupid fucking piano,” slurred Izzy. “And now you play for him like a trained dog, just like you used to play for Hornigold. After we mutinied and threw the damned thing into the sea, I didn’t think I’d ever see you play again.”
Ed tried to get past Izzy, but the corridor was narrow.
Izzy grabbed handfuls of Ed’s nightdress and got up in his face in a way he never would have while sober. “Is this what you’ve become? Lapdog to a lesser man once again? A man who teases you…but won’t…”
Ed glared at the other man and gave him a shove. “Won’t what?”
“Fuck you,” hissed Izzy. “Maybe he doesn’t even like men. Maybe he’s just a fancy lad and you’re going to keep pathetically pining for him forever…”
Izzy was close, and getting closer. They had their dalliances when they were younger, but Ed had stopped when he realized the man liked to be beaten down just a little too much. Despite Ed’s rejection, he was well aware that Izzy would go back to their old habits in a second.
And Ed was so very, very frustrated.
Izzy knew it. That’s why he felt emboldened to grab hold of the back of Ed’s neck and haul him in for a sloppy, intense kiss with a scrape of teeth.
As soon as Ed tasted the other man, he knew that was not what he wanted. But he didn’t push him off as quickly as he should have.
“Ed?”
The voice was a small, soft squeak. Ed turned his head and shoved Izzy off to see Stede standing there, eyes as big as saucers as Izzy stood with his hands on his backside. He was holding two cups of tea.
Ed knew in that moment that he had not misread the man at all. The look of sheer disappointment and heartbreak shot daggers into Ed’s heart. “Stede. It’s not…” He tried to pull off, but Izzy cruelly kept hold and forced Ed to shove him off violently.
By the time he did, Stede had disappeared back into the cabin. When Ed tried to open it, he found the door was latched from the inside.
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(As of May 25, 2022, there are 17 chapters with a new one added roughly every other day.)
#ofmd#our flag means death#our flag means death fanfic#our flag means death fanfiction#ofmd fanfic#blackbonnet#stedward#fanfic#fanfiction#pirates#stede bonnet#edward teach#romance#tenderness#fluff#sweetness#gay#lgbtq
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Y'all seem to really like my canon era Pirate Alma fic don't blame me (love made me crazy) wip samples, so here's some Protective Dad Ed avenging his babygirl!!!
CW: Graphic depiction of violence, references of violence against minors, depiction of blood and gore, knives, mutilation
“Don’t want your little girl to watch you kill me?” He sneered, voice lilting as he tried to get a rise out of Ed.
Ed refused to bite – this motherfucker had already taken so much from Ed already, he wasn't going to give him the satisfaction.
“I really wouldn’t be worrying about her if I was you, mate.” Ed kept his tone conversational, leaning against the rail of the ship as he toyed over all of the many, many things he could do.
Why not have some fucking fun with it – shit’s been real boring lately – and besides, he hadn't had a good maim in a while.
He studied Low as he turned over his ideas. Just like Alma said, his mop of red hair was pulled back into a loose knot – it was almost the same color as the blood staining her shirt. His mouth was lined with more gold than the hull of a man-o-war, although the blood from his busted lip stained most of them. His eyes were bloodshot, burst capillaries spreading across his pupils – when Ed looked at him, all he saw was red.
It was then that his crew returned above deck with the bloodied body from below, dropping it unceremoniously in front of where the survivors were restrained.
Low's eyes widened at the sight for a fraction of a second before he steeled his resolve again, turning back to look at Ed with an expression he wanted to shoot off of his face.
“Blackbeard’s kid never seen a dead body before?” he tried to jib at Ed, a desperately pathetic attempt to get under Ed's skin.
Ed crouched down to be level with Low, ignoring the way his knee was absolutely screaming at him by this point. “Nah, she’s pretty tough,” he nodded his head towards the corpse.
When Low refused to look at the body, Ed forcefully grabbed a fistful of his hair and twisted him towards it. “She did that all by herself.”
Ed wasn’t above admitting that he took a shit-ton of satisfaction in the way Low’s eyes widened in disbelief at the sight of his fallen crew mate, littered with the wounds Alma inflicted herself.
Ed pulled his knife from its home on his thigh, turning it over in his hand as he played with his food.
“Funniest thing, actually. Y’know, I was thinking of giving you something to match him.” Low didn’t flinch at that, to the little fucking credit he deserved, but Ed could see the way the lump in his throat bobbed as he swallowed.
“But then I thought I’d give you something to match hers.”
Ed had always thought that the whole ‘eye for an eye’ thing the English were so fucking fond of was a tad barbaric. A bit fucking uncivilized, if you’d asked him.
But now, as he stared into the cold eyes of the man who almost took everything from him, he got it. He really fucking got it.
"D'you know what your buddy over there did to Blackbeard's kid?" He asked, voice lilting as if he genuinely meant his question.
Low stayed silent.
"You tell him to do that? Give the order yourself? Or are you just that shit of a captain that your crew hurts your own fucking hostage? I'd choose your answer real fucking carefully."
It didn't matter, it really didn't fucking matter at this point what he said, there was only way this was going to end, but by God Ed was going to take his time getting there. He'd been waiting 3 weeks for this moment, he could wait a little longer.
"You see, she's got this real nice bruise, starting just about, oh, I'd say right here," he tipped his knife at Low's temple, pressing down as he slowly, languidly, drew it downwards. The skin parted easily under his knife, a clean break as he pulled it down, his knife coaxing Low's ear to separate with the soft flesh of his jaw.
Low did his best to swallow the strangled cry trying to escape from within him, but the warped sound was music to Ed's fucking ears.
"Your mate used his gun, but I thought this might be less messy – wouldn't want you to bruise like her, now would we? 'Cause hers sure looked like it hurt." His words were venom-laced honey, horrifically saccharine compared to the rotten work of his hands.
“Such a shame,” Low rasped out, voice like gravel as he spit the blood stained words back out at Ed. “She was so pretty, your Al-”
Hearing Alma's name dirtied by this absolute fucking cretin filled Ed with a rage that lit up his entire body. His skin felt like it was on fucking fire, white hot flames curling around his ribs at the name Low didn’t deserve to fucking think.
Ed’s hand shot out, grabbing Low's jaw as the other yanked his head back with a grip perfected from decades pulling rigging.
“Keep. Her. Name – ” in one swift movement, Ed reached into Low’s mouth and pulled, the popping sound of the sinew of his jaw muscles tearing was the sweetest sound he’d heard in ages “ – out of your fucking mouth.”
Ed practically purred the words over Low’s anguished cry, a broken gurgling sound from the jaw now clinging to the last remaining threads of his face.
Edward Teach had killed men before. Not often, and not many. He could remember each and every one of them, remembered the way his hands moved to end another life, remembered every single emotion that had surged through his body each time he did it.
Killing wasn’t a dispassionate act, despite what Izzy might otherwise try to convince him. Every single life he’d been responsible for destroying had been personal.
He felt those familiar tendrils curling out from somewhere deep within him, a cold, vicious rage snaking its way to cover every inch of him – an old friend come back to visit.
He looked at Ned Low, pathetic and bloody and writhing beneath him, and Ed was clear in his unholy righteousness.
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OFMD Accidental Baby Acquisition, And a Baby Makes Three-er, Seven
"What the fuck is that?"
"A baby." Ed nonchalantly nodded his head when Izzy came into the captain's quarters. Bouncing the child in his arms with a soft hum, Izzy stared at the two incredulously.
"Where the fuck do you get a baby?" Ed looked up from the kids at Izzy with a raised eyebrow. "Okay, stupid question."
"Yeah a bit."
"But why the fuck did you bring it here?"
"What was I supposed to do? Leave it on a burning ship?"
"Yes!" Izzy shouted as he stomped over to Ed, jabbing the captain in the chest with his finger. "You're Blackbeard! You don't care about babies or any of that sentimental bullshit!"
"Hey, I may be Blackbeard but I'm not a fucking monster." Ed slapped Izzy's hand away. "I don't kill babies....despite what some of those stupid books say." Izzy sighed, backing away from the man before looking back at the cabin doors.
"Edward, imagine what the crew would think. They're already on the verge of a mutiny. Showing weakness now would be a death sentence for the both of us." Ed snorted.
"Well you'd know about mutinies wouldn't you? I'd ask you to be captain but all things considered.."
"Oh fuck you-wait. What's that smell?" Their attention turned the child.
"Well I'd say they probably need a diaper change."
"And have you ever changed a diaper?"
"Nah. But how hard could it be?" Ed shrugged. "Course I could just delegate the task to you-"
"Edward, I think you're underestimating how willing I am to jump over the side of this boat." Izzy threw his hands in the air before turning around. "Go ahead, do whatever the fuck your want. See if I care. When you come to your senses, we can drop the child off somewhere since you're feeling so emotional." The disgust in his voice was clear as he walked out, slamming the door behind him. The kid did not like this one bit as they started wailing.
"Shhh, shhh, hey don't. Come on, I just got you to stop crying." Ed's attempts at shushing the child were in vain. Looking around frantically for something he could use before his eyes focused on the ridiculously large wardrobe. Most everything of Stede's had been thrown overboard when he deserted the rest of Bonnet's crew but he kept a few of the nicer clothing items. Grabbing a random yellow floral print robe, Ed set the baby down on a nearby chair as he began to cut at the fabric. Slicing out multiple long strips.
Going over to the kid and carefully lifting up their puffy dress, Ed reoiled at the smell before taking off the swaddle and quickly tossing it away. Taking one of the strips and using it to clean the child. A girl apparently. Careful to make sure she was clean before taking the remaining strips and creating a makeshift diaper. The kid didn't seem to mind as she stopped crying when Ed lifted her up. The large brown eyes staring straight at him. Seemingly confused by the strange man holding her.
"Sorry bout your parents kid." Ed apologized to the baby. But she was a baby and could not respond. "...probably can't just keep calling you kid. Everyone needs a name." For a moment he thought about naming her after his mother. But Elizabeth seemed a bit too formal. The baby didn't look like an Elizabeth anyway. "You look more like an Annie. Don't you think?" The baby responded by spitting up. "I'll take that as a yes."
Ed wasn't good with ages but she looked at least a few months old. Seven? Maybe eight. Old enough to eat food at least.
Glancing around the cabin then out the window at the deck where his small crew were arguing about something and he frowned. Ed wasn't prepared for a baby at all. How could he take care of her when he was barely taking care of himself?
#our flag means death#ofmd#blackbeard#edward teach#accidental baby acquisition#fanfiction#izzy hands
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How about Ed visiting Stede’s old home and getting locked in a room together with Stede, which is fine except that Ed was just about to excuse himself to go pee before they got stuck. And there’s nothing to use in here except one of Stede’s kids’ old potties.
And then waiting so long because it’s too embarrassing and he was hoping they’d get free by now that he doesn’t have time to undo his pants first. :3c
OhohohoHOHO òwó
They visit on and off, of course in secret because you know, Stede's "died" twice already and Mary is very sure of people knew her ex was dating FUCKING blackbeard there would be more than just town gossip xD
Stede is like "Drat, now I use to have a key always on my persons for this door, tends to get stuck," he'd say as he's jiggling at the knob.
Ed leans against one of the trucks in, what he can only imagine was a storage room, "Really now? Couldn't of thought that," he says, looking around, the single room they stood in was larger than the home he had grown up in.
"Oh don't pout, dear," Stede chuckles as he walks up to Ed, "Mary n' Doug said they'd be back before noon hour," Stede then picks up one of the frames that laied behind Ed, "Suppose we can have a bit of an exploration, huh?" He smiles warmly.
Ed just nods, as he turns to look at what looks like some elegantly painted horse. He can hear Stede telling him about the horse and probably its legacy.
But, Ed's mind is wandering. He had to piss before they wandered in here, before the wind locked them in. Sure, he could just pipe up and tell Stede but, what good would that do if they can't actually get out? Could always piss out the window,,,if it wasn't feet above his head.
Ed looks around on the ground, he gently kicks at the ceramic item. And Stede notices.
"Ah, that's just the children's training, nothing too exciting, unless you enjoy intricate hand painted patterns," he says.
Ed wants to roll his eyes with a breathed laugh, "You rich folks and the importance of 'intricate patterns' even on your piss pots, fucking lunatics."
The very mention of piss has Ed shifting his weight, just silently praying they get out soon.
It's nearly 30 minutes later and they've gone through at least 3 different trunks. Stede reminiscing while Ed stood by the door, occasionally jiggling the handle as if glaring at it would make it bend to his will and open.
God, he's desperate now. All that tea threatening to come back out, something Ed really doesn't want to happen, not here, not with Stede so close by.
"What time you say they'd be back?"
Stede lifts his head up from one of the novels.
"Bit past noon, Mary said she might run a bit late if her and Doug's class goes a bit off plan, why?" Stede ask as he sits the book down, "something the matter, Ed?"
Ed knaws on his cheek as he shakes his head, "Nah just, going through memory lane ain't really my, thing, I guess, yeah," he says, his voice a bit unconvincing but, Stede just nods, patting at the trunk he's seated on.
"Well perhaps a story will pass the time? I found a copy of the one I've been reading on the ship, could continue where we left off at."
Ed shuffles over, perhaps staying seated, having something to distract him could help him hold it until they're out. He leaps a small bit to get seated and shudders at the aching pangs coming from his bladder, he pressed his thighs together as Stede starts to read.
It feels like an eternity, every second being an hour in Ed's mind. He can't even listen to what Stede's saying, his mind is fighting for control over his body, trying so hard to stay still, stay in control.
But, even the toughest pirates have their limits and Ed reached his an hour ago! A small gasp slips past his lips as he feels the first warm spurt, he scrambles to get off the trunk.
Stede of course is confused, concerned as he sees the flushed face of Ed. And in the blink of and eye he's watching Ed footing at the small pot, body trembling as he just, comes undone.
Ed buries his face in his hands as he's kneeling over the traning pot, urine hissing, what isnt absorbed by his slacks is trickling into the pot beneath him. He's blubbering, apologizing and telling Stede to not watch, oh god, oh fuck.
Finally after what is near over a minute, the stream ends, the final dropplets of urine puddling. Ed is exhausted, his body slumping. But, he doesn't dare move.
"Edward?"
Ed just buries his face further into his palms, maybe if he buries deep enough he can escape. But, instead he feels the cool hands of Stede tiliting his head up to face his.
"Oh dear, why didn't you go earlier? I wouldn't have minded, not one bit."
Ed just shrugs, he doesn't want to admit he was too embarrassed, too apprehensive and perhaps a bit too prideful to go. He mumbles out yet another apology.
Stede kisses Ed's forehead, "You need not apologize, accidents happen. Besides, you did technically make it," he says as his eyes look to the slightly filled pot.
He stands, "Now then, Mary probably put some of my clothings in here, we'll find you something dry and cozy, yeah?"
Ed scrubs at his face, just nodding at the idea. Slowly he stands, shivering at just how cold the clinging fabric feels against his skin.
As they are searching for clothing, the door clicks open. Ed hides behind Stede, letting Stede speak to Mary. Waiting until her foot steps sounded distant enough before the two stepped out, first point of interest being the washing room for a much needed bath♡
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in honor of ofmd s2 have a fanfic I wrote for it bc I was bored enjoy
Who is more likely to bring home a stray animal?
Ed.
Stede doesn’t dislike animals per say, but he likes to keep a clean room and by extension a clean ship, so he keeps them away. Aside from Olivia, of course. Olivia is a bit of a different case. A seagull is hardly a pet when it can leave at any moment.
But one day they’re on some island stocking up on supplies (thankfully they had plenty of oranges- they ran out of flour this time), and while Ed is out window shopping, as he likes to do, he finds a huddled mass of fur and fleas sitting in the alleyway curled into a tight ball.
It’s a little dog. Maybe a year or two old- a mound of yellow fur dulled by dust and dirt and whatever other filth the world threw at it. He puts a hand under its snout, pulling its face to look at him.
Gods it looks pitiful.
It whines.
Ed groans, “Alright. You’re coming home with me.”
As if the dog could understand english, it perks up right away as dust flies off its tail. It’s wagging so hard that his entire backside is shaking side to side, like a ship tossed around by waves.
Ed takes it to one of the fountains that dot the little island- washes it up as best he can without getting himself soaked in the process, and brings it back to the ship as quietly as he can. He hides it from Stede in Jim’s and Olu’s room- tells them to keep it under wraps for now until he figures out where and what to do with the little mutt.
Jim pulls Ed back before he can leave the room, “Give it to Fang.”
He had completely forgotten about that. He- Blackbeard- had made Fang put his own dog down, so Ed owed the man a dog.
“Aw fuck, you’re right.”
Two days the dog stayed in the little room with Jim and Olu. During that time Ed made sure to get essentials- a new collar, a leash, a small bed about the size of a footchest.
Then came the day to hand the mutt over. Ed had bathed it as soon as he got it back on the ship- almost got caught when Stede walked past the small bathroom and asked what that wet dog smell was. Ed bullshitted some excuse- probably said it was him or something to that effect.
It was dark. The crew was starting to break into the wine barrels and get their fill of grapes and raspberries. Fang was sitting on top of one of these barrels- idly playing with a small dagger that he always carried with him.
“Fang- Mate, over here!” Ed was hiding in one of the small hallways that led to the captain’s cabin. Fang perked up but was almost immediately suspicious. Nobody except Lucius and Izzy walk into that room- and half the time Lucius walks out annoyed, and Izzy royally pissed off.
Ed leads Fang into the hallway, where there's a small linen closet that sits flush with the wall. Fang pulls his dagger when he hears something scratching on the door. "Are there rats 'n there?"
"No, no- put the knife away. It's a surprise. For you!" Ed flings the door open dramatically, and the pup comes bounding out. Her bright red collar stands out against her almost golden fur, and she rams the little heart-shaped blob on her nose right into Fang's thigh, sending the man stumbling back to hit the wall behind him.
The sound of pup yapping is almost enough to cover up the soft whimpers and catches that Fang let's loose- Shes almost an exact match to his old dog.
"Ed- Where did you find her?"
"This island. Hiding in an alleyway. Poor thing was covered in dust and fleas. Figured…I owe you a dog."
"Oh shes perfect! What's 'er name?"
"Oh…I hadn't thought of a name." In the two days he had her, Ed had just called her 'Fang's pup'.
"Figured it best that you name her. Your dog, after all."
He sat on the floor, the dog in his lap as he stroked her fur. "How about…Josephine? Like the island you found her on."
"Josephine. I like it. Josey for short."
Stede had remained blissfully unaware of the dog until another two days passed- and it came bounding into his room and took up residence on his lap. He was almost dozing off- the sun streamed through the windows at just the right angle to lull him into a mid-day nap. He screamed of course, and Ed came sprinting into the cabin only to find the dog licking Stedes face as once again, her entire backside moved in tandem with her tail.
"Ed, dear, why is there a…dog on board? Where did she come from?" He managed to squeak out between dog kisses.
"That's Fang's dog! Got her in St. Josephine when we were docked. I owed him a pup."
Stede breathed a massive sigh of relief, "Oh thank heavens. I thought she was someone else's dog and snuck aboard. I would hate to steal someone's dog. Not- Not that stealing is bad. I'm a pirate after all. I'd just hate to take someone's beloved pet."
There was a sharp whistle on the deck somewhere, and the mutt was gone as fast as she had appeared. "How did Fang get a dog? Did he buy her?" Stede wiped the dog spit off onto his sleeve. The jacket needed a good wash anyways.
"I found her. She was laying in an alley, and I couldn't leave her here."
The whole ship had similar stories. Running from someone. Somewhere. Something. Scooped up by a pirate, dusted off, and made new again.
They found solace in people like them, and found family on the salt-soaked planks of the Revenge. "A misfit pup. I suppose she'll fit right in with the rest of us."
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Stede POV - 11.1
“So let me get this straight,” Lucius said as they buckled their seatbelts on the plane “In the less than three days we were in town, you asked him out, had some intense sex - don’t deny it.” Lucius added before Stede could tell him to shut up. “Went to some hotshot halloween party where the host was one of your childhood bullies, Blackbeard punched said bully in the face, you went back to the hotel, decided you were boyfriends despite not going on a single date, then you woke up to find out the internet was mad at you again because there were photos of you and Blackbeard together, then Izzy Hands orders Blackbeard to break up with you, and now the two of you have decided to pretend to be broken up while still dating in secret and I’m the only one who knows?”
“Anne knows as well, he said he would tell her.” Stede said. “But that’s it in a nutshell, yes.”
“Stede, respectfully, what the fuck?”
It did sound insane when it was repeated back to him in Lucius’ tidy little summary. Stede hadn’t even considered how short a time it had been, and yet so much had happened and he was completely besotted with Ed.
Who was he kidding? He’d been besotted with Ed since the start.
Maybe it was crazy, but for the first time in his life, Stede was actively trying not to overthink things and he was happy. Even if other people thought it was stupid and fast, Ed clearly didn’t. Ed had seemed thrilled about the two of them being boyfriends, and Stede fully intended to make good on his promise of that official date, as soon as they could.
There was the matter of Ed being on tour and not being able to be seen in public together, but Stede would figure something out.
“I know how crazy it all sounds, Lucius, but it’s the truth.”
“Oh, I believe you. As shocking as it is that my boss apparently has the sexual magnetism capable of not just landing Blackbeard in bed, but getting him to agree to be in a relationship as well. And the sex is good too?” Lucius looked at him pointedly and Stede pretended to be very invested in his fold-down tray. “And all this with you being a baby gay. I’m so impressed.”
It was just a silly, offhand comment, but it meant the world to Stede that he’d impressed Lucius. Despite being younger than him, Lucius gave off the energy of a world-wise and savvy man who knew more than Stede could forget. To impress him was a feather in his cap indeed.
“God, the crew aren’t going to believe this.”
Stede smacked his arm. “The crew are not to know! I told you in the strictest confidence!”
“You’ve got a rockstar wrapped around your dick and you don’t want to brag about it to your closest friends?”
Stede fought the urge to slap him again. “What we have is private, and not to be trotted out for anyone else’s amusement. He’s my boyfriend, not a trophy.”
It was the first time he’d said it to anyone but Ed. His boyfriend. Stede could call Ed his boyfriend. Part of him wanted to tell the crew just so he could have the pleasure of saying it over and over again. But no, he couldn’t. The crew meant well, but they would never stop pestering him with questions, they’d only be able to think of Ed as Blackbeard. Stede couldn’t even tell them Ed’s real name. If he didn’t have Ed’s explicit permission, then he was keeping that information to himself. He’d only confided in Lucius about them dating because he and Ed had both agreed it was ok to tell their closest friends about their plan (for assistance from both of them, should it be required) as long as they kept it to themselves.
Stede knew that Anne was a steel trap - you told her something in confidence and she’d take it to her grave. Lucius on the other hand…
Stede could see his hand twitching for his phone. “Lucius! I mean it! Even if you’re bad at keeping secrets, this is one that I am begging you to keep to yourself. No one can know.” Lucius opened his mouth and Stede cut him off. “Not even Pete. He’s worse at keeping secrets than you.”
Lucius huffed and slumped down in his seat. “Yeah that’s true. Plus he’d probably try to ask for a threeway.”
Stede frowned. “Wouldn’t that be a fourway? You, Pete, Blackbeard and myself?”
Lucius laughed loudly enough that he got a few irritated stares in his direction. “Oh, sweetie. I love you, but that’s never gonna happen. I think Pete would rather die.”
Stede folded his arms across his chest and tried not to be insulted. It wasn’t like he’d actually been entertaining the idea, and he most definitely was not attracted to Lucius or Pete, but it was a tad insensitive for Lucius to cackle like a witch at the idea.
“No, Pete would try to get you to convince Blackbeard to be a third with me and him.”
“Not a chance.” Stede’s frown slipped into a smile. “He’s all mine.”
“Ew, clingy.” Lucius tugged an eye mask out of his pocket and snapped the band over his head. “But your secret is safe with me. If Anne knows then she’ll cut my balls off if she hears I’ve told anyone else, so that’s enough motivation for me to keep my trap shut. But good luck explaining to the crew that you and Blackbeard are just friends after those photos that cropped up online.” He slipped the mask over his eyes and nestled down in his seat. “I’m taking a nap.”
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