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Man On A Mission
Pair: Joshua x f.reader
Genre: Fluff, very slight angst
Summary: Plans are made and the surprise is all set, but what happens when you’re suddenly refusing to be Joshua’s Valentine’s date? Will your boyfriend get your sweet yes in time for the big day or will he have to force it out of you? Good thing this sexy gentleman has a few tricks up his sleeve.
Warning: slight angst if you squint, lots of playful teasing, Shua and oc being menaces to each other, making out, suggestive content.
WC: 2.8k
Author’s Note: Happy (belated) Valentine’s Day! This is my piece for @svthub Cupid For You Collab - Valentine’s Gift Exchange. This is very much dedicated for my Valentine @shuadotcom 🩷 I’m so sorry this is late 😭 I would’ve really wanted to publish this on the 13th but your valentine has been very sickly these past few days. I hope you enjoy this as much I enjoyed writing the antics I wrote for you and your beloved Joshua. I love you so much!!! To the moon and back 😉 The biggest thanks as well to my dearest @wongyuseokie for being so patient with me and helping me out with all my questions AND for organizing this event! Ily 😘
Svthub’s Cupid For You Collab Masterlist
“You can’t be serious right now,” you frown in shock.
“SURPRISE!” Your boyfriend exclaims.
You turn around fully to face him, “babe… I thought we agreed on no surprises? And no extravagant gifts?”
A cheesy grin flashes on Joshua’s face but when he notices how serious you actually are, his once excited expression starts to fall.
You really should’ve known that when you both agreed on a simple staycation for Valentine’s, your CEO boyfriend would do anything but. However, when he mentioned to you about how busy he would be this week trying to close a merger deal, you thought perhaps simple would be possible. So when he asked you to join him for a lunch with business partners in a fancy hotel the day before Valentine’s, you didn’t actually think it was all a trap to just get you both checked in in the presidential suite for an overnight stay.
Joshua observes you a bit more before answering, suddenly feeling embarrassed and scared, “do you not… like it? I mean, I can still cancel the booking and then we can go do—“
“Baby, no,” you interrupt, “it’s not that I don’t like it, it’s just… not what we agreed on.”
“Well you said you wanted a staycation, right?” Isn’t this what that is? A nice place just less than an hour away from the city, perfect view, nice amenities, a good looking boyfriend. But I mean, if you’re not into it, I might still be able to get us those Bali tickets I canceled last week.”
“You what?!”
“Mr. and Mrs. Hong?” The small voice of the hotel receptionist calls you both and Joshua is thanking the heavens you were given no time to further interrogate him.
“It’s Miss y/l/n,” you immediately correct her and Joshua frowns at how quick you were to dissociate from him, sweat starting to bead on his forehead as he ponders how his extravagant surprise might have really upset you.
“Oh, my apologies miss y/l/n. Anyway, I just wanted to inform you that your suite is ready. Here are your room keys and you will be assisted to your room.” You kindly thank the receptionist and make your way through the hotel lobby.
The elevator ride up to the top was silent and awkward. Joshua consistently bounced on the balls of his feet from nerves. However, when the doors to your suite open, your jaw drops and your feet automatically lead you towards the floor-to-ceiling windows that boast a 180 degree view of the city. You didn’t even notice the bell man wishing you both a pleasant stay or hear your boyfriend carefully approach you. You could see the concrete jungle of the business district yet so beautifully backdropped by the sprawling mountains in the distance. You never thought much of your city, it wasn’t exactly a tourist destination in itself, but now that you’re looking at it from hundreds of feet above, you realise it has a charm of its own.
“I take it you want to stay?” Joshua asks as he observes the glimmer in your eyes.
You finally peel your gaze from the view and turn to your boyfriend who’s carrying an apologetic look on his face.
“I’m sorry, baby,” he grabs your hands and sandwiches them between his, “I just thought this would be nice and I know you didn’t want to do anything big but I also know you like surprises and I just really wanted to give you the perfect Valentine’s I could pla–“
“Who said I’d be your Valentine’s?”
At that very moment, all color drains from your boyfriend’s face. His mouth is agape, eyebrows raised and eyes are round as ever. Complete and utter shock wash over him and then you see pain, his eyes show early signs of wetness and he starts to blink hard and that’s when you burst out in laughter.
“I’M KIDDING!” You laugh loudly, hands cupping his face and you just hear him take a deep breath.
“Babyyyy,” he whines and you’re completely melting at the pout etched on his face.
“Aww, babe,” you peck his lips before embracing him tightly. He takes a few more seconds wrapped in your arms, trying to let his heartbeat stabilize from the prank you just pulled. “I was just kidding. I think.”
“You think?” He pulls back and catches the mischievous smile on your face. “What does that mean?”
“Hmm… well for starters, you just assumed, you didn’t even ask me, and then–“
“Okay so will you be my Valentine?” Your boyfriend rushes out and if you just weren’t feeling playful, it would be a definite yes right then and there.
“I’ll think about it,” you shrug. “This wasn’t exactly how I thought we’d spend the holiday, you know. I thought we’d only meet with Mr. Min today.”
“Well, I had to find a way to get you to come here with me.”
“Yeah, but what happened to no surprises, Josh? Didn’t we agree on a simple Valentine’s, just a staycation? No fancy gifts and just our favorite food?”
“If you think about it, we’re still in the city, so it’s still a staycation. And we can still have our favorite food!”
“And yet… what was that I heard awhile ago? You had plans to take me to Bali? Hmm??”
“Okay, fine…” your boyfriend slumps in defeat, “but that was honestly booked before we even agreed on anything. And then I canceled when you said you didn’t want anything too extravagant. C’mon baby,” Joshua prods, his arms wrapping around your waist, “I’m still somewhat following the agreement. I just… I really want to make this special for us. Please let me?”
“Okay, I’ll let you,” you smile at the sincerity of your most loving boyfriend. You truly appreciate the effort he’s putting into this, but just like the dynamic of your relationship, what’s a romantic holiday without a little fun? “But I’m still not saying yes to being your Valentine… not yet.”
He sees the wink you just gave him as you walk away and he rolls his eyes. “So that’s how you wanna play it, huh?”
You dramatically turn around before letting yourself fall on the large couch by the living room, “oh whatever could you mean, my love?”
Sometimes, Joshua just hates how you may just be as mischievous as he is, if not more. But he also adores your playful side, especially when it makes him think outside of the box. When he sits beside you on the couch, he’s immediately pulling you onto his lap, hands roaming up and down from your waist to your thighs. “I’ll get you to say yes,” he answers confidently.
“Oh yeah?”
“Mhmm… before midnight.”
“A deadline, I like that,” you nod in approval, “let the games begin, babe.”
Joshua scoffs, “they already have.” A searing kiss is delivered to you that you almost fall over if your boyfriend hadn’t had his muscular arms supporting your back. When you’re finally responding back, Joshua is surprisingly the first to groan, but could you blame him? Your lips were full and soft and it didn’t help at all that your hips have decided to grind against his crotch. He’s sucking on your bottom lip and when they part to grant him entrance, the CEO wastes no time in exploring with his tongue. He hears you moan once, twice, and then he’s pulling your pelvis down as he bucks his hips to meet yours.
“Will you be my Valentine?” He asks in a muffled rush while trailing down your neck, hoping you’d be caught off guard. But Joshua should’ve known, you took your games just as seriously as he did.
“Not so fast, baby.” You giggle, pushing him back against the couch. “You’re not gonna get me in one try.”
There’s a genuine laughter shared between the both of you but when you feel Joshua’s hand begin to pull down the strap of your blouse, you gasp in shock, scaring the man beneath you, “what is it?”
“Babe! I don’t have clothes!”
“Even better,” he smirks.
“No!” You swat his hand away when he attempts another kiss. “I mean, we’re staying the night, right? I didn’t pack anything. Oh my god! I don’t even have my skincare!”
“Okay, calm down,” he rubs your arms, “I have it under control. I’ve packed for you, yeah? Clothes, skincare, even some accessories. Just… except maybe underwear.”
“Babe!”
“What? You won’t really need it anyway.”
“Joshua!” You scold louder this time.
“I’M KIDDING!” He laughs like a maniac, “I brought you… a few.”
To be very fair with your boyfriend, he stayed true to his promise of a staycation. While the hotel you were at had a luxury shopping center directly below it, he knew you just wanted to laze around in the comfort of your suite. Room service was ordered for your lunch, you both watched your favorite movie on the large built-in flat screen on the wall and now, you’re sighing happily sprawled out on the bed wrapped in the hotel’s fluffy bathrobe.
“Someone’s happy,” Joshua notes, settling beside you.
“Are you kidding me? That was the best massage I’ve ever had in my life!” If you were being honest, your whole body felt like jelly, in a good way, it’s as if you could still feel the masseuse’s skillful hands kneading away the knots on your lower back. “I think I might just marry her.”
“Wow, okay???” Your boyfriend takes offense.
“If she asked me to be her Valentine, it’s a yes,” you stick your tongue out at him and before you know it, you’re smothered in tickles from your boyfriend.
“What did you just say?!” He challenges and you want to trigger him more but you’re simply reduced to a fit of squirming giggles underneath his muscular body.
“S-s-sttooooppp!”
Your wrists are conveniently pinned down above your head as you try to squirm away, your body encased between his legs, and a pair of scrunched up brows and pursed lips are staring you down, “Not until you say yes to being my Valentine!”
“No!” You deny him, “the more you tickle me, the more I’ll say no.”
This actually catches his attention and he lets go of you. “Wow, I didn’t think that would work.”
“I’m just nice,” he proudly grins, “and that’s why I’d make the perfect Valentine’s date.”
“Mhmm, probably. You are a gentleman, after all.”
Joshua wiggles his finger at you disapprovingly, “I believe the exact term you’re looking for is a sexy gentleman.”
You both share a laugh at the inside joke that began a few years back in his workplace and has simply stuck until now. “Speaking of,” his tone turns a bit more serious, “I know you just wanna be lazy in bed all day but if it’s okay with you, will you let this sexy gentleman take you to dinner tonight? It’s just going to be in the restaurant downstairs and I made sure to ask the staff to place us where it’s more quiet and secluded.” Big doe eyes stared at you and while you did want to tease Joshua a little more, the sincere look on his face proved too difficult to even playfully deny.
“Okay, I’ll go, but I’m still not your Valentine date. There’s still a few more hours to woo me, Joshua Hong.”
He scoffs and then smiles, leaving a kiss on your cheek before hopping out of bed, “I’ll get that yes before midnight.” It’s cool and confident, and somehow, you’re beginning to lose your resolve.
“What is this?!” you gasp as you open the small hand carry luggage that your boyfriend had packed for you. It was the first time you had gone through it, completely trusting him when he said he had brought all your essentials. You also didn’t feel the need to go through the bag earlier as you had no plans but to live in the fluffy robe the hotel provided.
“What?” Joshua snickers.
You squint your eyes at him, knowing his agenda a little too well. “This,” you mutter coldly, raising up the lingerie with your hands. It was skimpy and it was lacey, and most of all, it was your boyfriend’s favorite. He tries to act innocent but a cheesy grin breaks out on his face anyway and you just roll your eyes at his antics. However, rummaging through the rest of the bag for underwear that had more coverage proved to be unsuccessful. “Just three pairs of lingerie? Nothing else. Really?”
“Hey, no! I packed four. Four pairs of lingerie. All of which are my favorite,” a boyish grin on his face.
“You couldn’t even bring me at least one comfy pair of panties for sleeping?” You pout.
“Not when we’ll be sleeping naked, no. But your nightgown is there,” your boyfriend earns another roll of your eyes and now he’s really giggling with mischief. “C’mon babe, don’t pout. Any of those four will fit perfectly with…” he runs to the closet and then quickly comes back with a huge white box in his hands that had a big black ribbon tied around it.
“Babe,” you gasp silently when you manage to open the box and pick up the beautiful dress that was folded neatly inside. It came in your favorite color and in a style that complimented your curves well. “This is too much,” you say just above a whisper, “I thought no more gifts?”
“Well, this isn’t really a gift. It’s more like… hmmmm…” your boyfriend purses his lips, “giving you something to wear for dinner. I can’t have you walking in the restaurant in just your lingerie! That’s only for my eyes to see!”
You should’ve been annoyed really, he was coming up with the most mischievous excuses to break the agreement you both made, but the way Joshua was pouting and huffing towards the end of his sentence had you smiling like a love struck teenager.
“I love you so much,” you smile and wrap your arms around your boyfriend, planting a kiss on his lips.
“I love you too, baby.”
And you both did, you really loved each other so much. Mischief and jokes were common between you and Joshua; he was equally playful as you are, but no matter how much you teased each other, every single ‘I love you’ that came out of your mouths was always said meaningfully.
“Baby?” your boyfriend asks in the middle of your scrumptious dinner, “do you think Valentine’s is overrated?”
You’re slightly taken aback by the question, especially since the topic before this was how Joshua managed to win the chubby bunny contest during your friend group’s Christmas dinner.
“Uhmm.. “
When you realize he looked dead serious about his query, you give it some thought before answering him, “I see why it could be. It is quite a capitalistic holiday and well, Saint Valentine did die a gruesome death on this day, but I do think that if your Valentine is the right person, it doesn’t really matter if it’s overrated or not.”
Josh is listening intently to your words, his thumb slowly rubbing the back of your hand, “So… you don’t think all my surprises today are overrated, right?” There’s a curious look behind his eyes and your heart physically squeezes at the sight of it.
“Oh, love…” you sigh and scoot your chair right by his side, cupping his cheek and giving him a kiss that you hoped would wipe his worries once and for all, “You could’ve surprised me with a trip to the moon and I would still hop on that spaceship with you volunta–”
Joshua gasps loudly, “Now, how did you know that’s where we’re going tomo–”
“Babe!” you laugh and shove him lightly, “Even if you weren’t kidding, I’d go with you. I told you, even the most possibly overrated thing you could think of will not be overrated as long as it’s with you.”
“Ohhh, so I am your Valentine tomorrow, huh?” The proudest, most obnoxious smirk breaks out on your boyfriend’s face, his chin is held up high and one brow raised approvingly. It takes a few seconds for you but when you realize what he’s done— falling perfectly into his trap— your jaw simply hangs low.
Your boyfriend is quick to tuck his hand below your chin, “close your mouth babe, else a bug might fly in.”
You scoff at the remark but honestly, Joshua isn’t able to hear you amidst his cackling, and you absolutely abhor how he’s gotten you to slip so easily.
“I hate you.”
“No you don’t,” the laugh is evil and confident, and you want to punch his stupid annoying grin away, “you loooooove me, quite literally to the moon AND back.”
Damn him, you thought, because he’s right, you love him, to the moon and back.
As if he wasn’t proud enough, your boyfriend seals your defeat by grabbing your neck to kiss you fervently only to then raise his fist in victory, “one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind, AND a Valentine’s date for Joshua Hong!”
#svthub#svthub.collab#Cupid For You#Valentine’s Exchange#svt#seventeen#joshua fic#joshua fluff#joshua x reader#svt fic#svt fluff#svt x reader#paula writes ✨#shuadotcom#Man On A Mission
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Oooh, what about Journey? I think the sand probably took a lot to pull off
it did!! i watched a video about it, god, like 6 years ago or something and it was a very very important thing for them to get just right. this is goimg to be a longer one because i know this one pretty extensively
here's the steps they took to reach it!!
and heres it all broken down:
so first off comes the base lighting!! when it comes to lighting things in videogames, a pretty common model is the lambert model. essentially you get how bright things are just by comparing the normal (the direction your pixel is facing in 3d space) with the light direction (so if your pixel is facing the light, it returns 1, full brightness. if the light is 90 degrees perpendicular to the pixel, it returns 0, completely dark. and pointing even further away you start to go negative. facing a full 180 gives you -1. thats dot product baybe!!!)
but they didnt like it. so. they just tried adding and multiplying random things!!! literally. until they got the thing on the right which they were like yeah this is better :)
you will also notice the little waves in the sand. all the sand dunes were built out of a heightmap (where things lower to the ground are closer to black and things higher off the ground are closer to white). so they used a really upscaled version of it to map a tiling normal map on top. they picked the map automatically based on how steep the sand was, and which direction it was facing (east/west got one texture, north/south got the other texture)
then its time for sparkles!!!! they do something very similar to what i do for sparkles, which is essentially, they take a very noisy normal map like this and if you are looking directly at a pixels direction, it sparkles!!
this did create an issue, where the tops of sand dunes look uh, not what they were going for! (also before i transition to the next topic i should also mention the "ocean specular" where they basically just took the lighting equation you usually use for reflecting the sun/moon off of water, and uh, set it up on the sand instead with the above normal map. and it worked!!! ok back to the tops of the sand dunes issue)
so certain parts just didnt look as they intended and this was a result of the anisotropic filtering failing. what is anisotropic filtering you ask ?? well i will do my best to explain it because i didnt actually understand it until 5 minutes ago!!!! this is going to be the longest part of this whole explanation!!!
so any time you are looking at a videogame with textures, those textures are generally coming from squares (or other Normal Shapes like a healthy rectangle). but ! lets say you are viewing something from a steep angle
it gets all messed up!!! so howww do we fix this. well first we have to look at something called mip mapping. this is Another thing that is needded because video game textures are generally squares. because if you look at them from far away, the way each pixel gets sampled, you end up with some artifacting!!
so mip maps essentially just are the original texture, but a bunch of times scaled down Properly. and now when you sample that texture from far away (so see something off in the distance that has that texture), instead of sampling from the original which might not look good from that distance, you sample from the scaled down one, which does look good from that distance
ok. do you understand mip mapping now. ok. great. now imagine you are a GPU and you know exactly. which parts of each different mip map to sample from. to make the texture look the Absolute Best from the angle you are looking at it from. how do you decide which mip map to sample, and how to sample it? i dont know. i dont know. i dont know how it works. but thats anisotropic filtering. without it looking at things from a steep angle will look blurry, but with it, your GPU knows how to make it look Crisp by using all the different mip maps and sampling them multiple times. yay! the more you let it sample, the crisper it can get. without is on the left, with is on the right!!
ok. now. generally this is just a nice little thing to have because its kind of expensive. BUT. when you are using a normal map that is very very grainy like the journey people are, for all the sparkles. having texture fidelity hold up at all angles is very very important. because without it, your textures can get a bit muddied when viewing it from any angle that isnt Straight On, and this will happen
cool? sure. but not what they were going for!! (16 means that the aniso is allowed to sample the mip maps sixteen times!! thats a lot)
but luckily aniso 16 allows for that pixel perfect normal map look they are going for. EXCEPT. when viewed from the steepest of angles. bringing us back here
so how did they fix this ? its really really clever. yo uguys rmemeber mip maps right. so if you have a texture. and have its mip maps look like this
that means that anything closer to you will look darker, because its sampling from the biggest mip map, and the further away you get, the lighter the texture is going to end up. EXCEPT !!!! because of aisononotropic filtering. it will do the whole sample other mip maps too. and the places where the anisotropic filtering fail just so happen to be the places where it starts sampling the furthest texture. making the parts that fail that are close to the camera end up as white!!!
you can see that little ridge that was causing problems is a solid white at the tip, when it should still be grey. so they used this and essentially just told it not to render sparkles on the white parts. problem solved
we arent done yet though because you guys remember the mip maps? well. they are causing their own problems. because when you shrink down the sparkly normal map, it got Less Sparkly, and a bit smooth. soooo . they just made the normal map mip maps sharper (they just multipled them by 2. this just Worked)
the Sharp mip maps are on the left here!!
and uh... thats it!!!! phew. hope at least some of this made sense
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oh yeah i forgot to post these
all the clay creations related to Third Life so far! I still need to make Bigb's base, so I'll be doing that soon, but i have the rest of the factions! closeups and details under the cut:
the crastle! fun to make, i had to mix up a special blend for the roofs but otherwise quite straightforward.
dead bush hill! once again, i had to mix up a specific color for the granite edges, which was a little difficult. Also had to watch Joel's third life series to make this. which i am not going to complain about, he's fun.
the flower valley! strangely enough, the most irritating to try and format into a diorama, as the houses pictured here are on opposite sides of a valley. fully 180 degrees difference.
the swamp castle! i hate it. it was made of wool. white wool. it lasted for like five minutes before being burnt. never work with white clay. NEVER, you hear me? it's malevolent. a good reference was hard to find, but i figured it out eventually :)
renchanting! yes it has another name but that's related to a franchise i do not approve of. finding a good reference for this diorama-thing meant i had to listen to so many references to that franchise which automatically makes this really annoying. also it looks shrinkwrapped because i was a FOOL and thought coating it in liquid clay could do something cool.
the sand castle! the first one i made! fun, but i think not finding my own reference for this diorama-thing makes it a little less impactful than the rest. :/
lastly, a banner of the Red Army! self-explanatory, i think.
#elm art#spokesman of the veil#third life fanart#miniatures#dogwarts#red army#third life#trafficblr#traffic smp#life series#flower husbands#renchanting#crastle
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Elvis, Scotty and Bill: Monotony-killer silly games
To combat boredom on the road, they developed a game in which a tap on the forehead was used as a signal. "It was just this silly thing we did," says Scotty. "Whoever was talking or doing something, someone else would reach over and tap him on the forehead. Then you automatically did an 180-degrees on whatever you were saying or doing." Sometimes they would to that on stage. Bill would walk over and tap Elvis on the forehead and he would stop whatever he was doing and start doing something else. Kid stuff, sure, but it helped with the monotony — and it helped channel Elvis's nervous energy. "He was always keyed up," says Scotty. "There was many a night when we would stop fifty miles down the road from leaving a town and either Bill or I would get out and start walking Elvis around, trying to get him calmed down so we would be able to sleep to get to where we were going." (...) "We would want to go to sleep. Elvis was so full of energy he wanted to stay up and talk all night."
Excerpt: "That's Alright, Elvis: The Untold Story of Elvis' First Guitarist and Manager, Scotty Moore" by Scotty as told to James Dickerson (1997)
Elvis, Scotty and Bill at The Cotton Club in Lubbock, Texas. April 29, 1955.
youtube
#elvis presley#elvis#elvis the king#elvis fans#elvis fandom#elvis history#50s elvis#scotty moore#bill black#Youtube
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Hey rae!
I have a question! So like i am engaging in hobbies, doing some work and being busy and it's resulting in me feeling pretty content with the 3d overall. But then this is not really the life that i want because my dream life is a total 180° degree from my current life lol.
But i get some doubts here and there that my dream life will not manifest if i am feeling content with my 3d. Will this happen? Like should i not feel content with my 3d?
And i should mention since i have been feeling content, i have never ONCE felt desperation for my desires, although in the past i would have spiraled like 37363 times in just 4 days. Like i truly (almost atleast) feel like i actually am living my dream life and my inner conversations are almost always in alignment and the mental scenarios that i automatically get are always the pictures of me being my dream self.
that’s completely okay! the only reason a desire wouldn’t materialize is cause you didn’t fulfill self.
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I'm seeing a lot of online creators I follow falling into increasingly toxic styles of Online Brainrot "Discourse" and its making me really sad. They're getting that flat-behind-the-eyes, closed-mouth-wide-smile look where you can SEE the empathy, kindness and connection to reality dying.
I want to comment and tell them I'm worried abt them but ik it comes off as condescending. at least one of them is a lot younger than me (19yo) and as someone who went through a version of this at that age, it breaks my heart. I know I may just have to unfollow and let them hit rock bottom on this themselves, but.... Christ! Fuck!!!!
and the worst part is that they all seem totally convinced that they've ESCAPED The Brainrot, that they're COMBATTING it, that they've found the "truth" behind the Brainrot and are the ones (sometimes ~The Only Ones~) who are brave enough to tell the world. its not conspiracy crap, just really REALLY bad takes like
"fandom is inherently anti-intellectual, discourages analysis and understanding of texts and needs to be slowed/stopped/actively fought against BECAUSE FANDOM IS DANGEROUS!!!1!!!1!!!1"
or
"being the CEO of a children's clothing brand automatically puts you at suspicion of being a P3d0 because why else would you look at little children's bodies so much" (this one baffles me fr, like??? where do you think all children's clothes come from if not from people designing and making them?)
like just bad, stupid takes that border on paranoia but also you can kinda see how they escalated from other less drastic Terminally Online mindsets
but these ppl used to be saying stuff that was smart, or at least funny and interesting, and in a lot of cases these opinions/styles of content are 180-degree shifts over a week or even a day
like honey. i mean this with all the care and genuine respect I can give. you're not serving hot takes, you're wrong- but more importantly your behavior is really concerning. you're starting fights in your comments and then putting them on blast in main posts/reels. "the haters" have become a stock character for you. you're doing 180 turns on things that used to be core beliefs. please get offline, like FULLY offline, and re-discover the world for a while- and maybe really do seek help. not in the funny online-insult "seek help". I Am Really Worried About You.
god. fuck. so many of these content creators are like 19 years old, and honestly I wish I could magically be in a role/place/physical location to help them because I'M WORRIED. worried like checking-their-feed-now-scares-me-because-im-worried-they-will-have-harmed-themselves. not because they've made any threats but bc their regular content has shifted so drastically and quickly to be angry, cynical and that kind of smiling-with-nothing-behind-the-eyes self-centered Righteous Hate that is indicative of
well
of something going deeply wrong inside
fuck im sry this is just rly upsetting me rn
(ALSO TO BE CLEAR. THIS IS NOT A VAGUEPOST TO ANYONE ON TUMBLR. THIS IS HAPPENING PRIMARILY OR ENTIRELY ON OTHER PLATFORMS. TUMBLR IS THANKFULLY, FOR THE MOST PART, FAR PAST THIS. TUMBLR IS FOR ALL ITS FAULTS A WELL REGULATED ECOSYSTEM THAT KEEPS THIS KIND OF BS LIMITED TO CERTAIN SMALL ECHO CHAMBERS. ITS WHY IM ON HERE AS MY PRIMARY SOCIAL MEDIA.)
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Your ™ (aside from faramir obv) is how unhinged you are about denethor AND having the most correct takes abt him🧡. Oh and also oranges maybe
AAAA...THANK YOU ??? THIS KNOCKED ME FLAT like for real i cannot express how much ive been thinking about this ask all day. like i was in the grocery store thinking about it. i cant decide if it's funnier if you've been here since i was 19 and a hater and watched me have my dramatic change of heart in real time or if youre new here and don't know my tragic backstory. TO ME it's hilarious to be assigned denethor girl bc like teenage me is having a heart attack but i bear the badge with pride nevertheless <3333 and thats what we call character growth!
pj had totally got me with the mad-and-vindictive-with-despair denethor gambit for years and years but literally i started working on the faramir goes to rivendell au and thought for about two seconds about how complex both faramir and boromir's relationships with their father are and how the film changes genuinely weaken all of their characters so much and did a total 180 degree turn on a dime. by doing denethor dirty i would automatically be doing faramir dirty and then i started thinking and went hang on a second he is so complex and interesting actually. like i can't emphasize how much that was the exact logic that allowed me to achieve this development.
i mean okay LISTEN TO ME oh my GOD denethor IS a good leader there's a reason why gondor stood so long alone against the enemy and he NEARLY fucking beat SAURON in 30 years worth of head-to-head knock-down-drag-out psychic stalemate warfare and he only falls into despair when he loses both of his sons. you don't need to like him to respect the achievement!
i almost put a read more here but fuck it denethorposting on main. hit j on your keyboard or do a big scroll if youre sick of me LOL
i am very well known for going totally feral over duty vs love dynamics and that is literally what is going on between denethor and his sons. he cannot be their father and their commander at the same time and they are at war!!! being their commander has to win out above all else!!! whether any of them like it or not!!! do you know what ruthlessness means do you understand that duty wins this one.
do u guys understand that denethor and faramir are a father and son who love each other above else and yet do not like each other at all. there was a schism somewhere there along the line and love without bitterness and political sniping and ideological misalignment is a DISTANT MEMORY. No Of Course He Shouldn't Have Said He Wished Faramir And Boromir's Places Exchanged Jesus Christ No Son Should Have To Hear That From Their Father But Girl Sometimes When You're Grieving You Say Stupid Shit That You Shouldn't Have. doesn't mean you should've said it but [pippin voice] we can understand poor denethor a bit better, huh?
its just so interesting to me to think about faramir and denethor's relationship from a standpoint of like. ok listen good stewards that are not good fathers and dutiful sons who will not compromise their moral compasses for love. i don't like you and i agree with approximately 1% of everything you've said ever and your expectations of me have always been unreasonably high even when i was a child but you also are the only person who could ever understand the terrifying psychic powers that just live inside my brain and you are probably the incarnation of lordly dignity and power that i have had and i have wanted to emulate all my life and i still have the instinct to ask for your approval even if i'm going to hate what you're going to say. and when i'm dying i will call out for you. and i don't like you and your moral compass is going to get you and me and everyone in our city killed and you haven't listened to a single thing i've said since you were fourteen and i fucking hate that you're listening to and trusting the fucking wizard over me but you are my best captain and you are everything that i wished i could've been without the war and you'll never understand that that's why i pushed you so hard i just wanted you to live. and if you couldn't live at least we could die together. LISTEN i am a faramir girl until the death you all KNOW THIS BUT THESE TWO THINGS ARE NOT MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE- [i am forcibly yanked offstage]
#from the inbox#Anonymous#THANK YOU YOU ARE AN ANGEL!!! I LOVE YOU!!!#sorry for how unhinged this answer got ive been drinking#my friday night: totally sober sitting quietly filing my taxes. my saturday night: wine drunk denethor ranting. i am an adult#you: ur brand is being unhinged about this specific topic. me tasked with talking about that topic: sorry for being unhinged. hilarious#idk like oh my god yeah the transgender allegory of 'parent insisting their child is dead while people cry out that they're still living'#fucks crazy. i fucking love that reading. but im tired of the madman-idiot-caricature lack of textually-referenced nuance out here!#bitch king faramir and complex noble lord denethor are actually concepts that are holding hands. To Me.#also YES!!! ORANGES!!! i have an orange tattoo lol i love you i'm glad i exist. there is secret lore but i think if i don't stop talking no#everyone who follows me will explode me with their minds#i am still taking trademark asks if anyone at all has read this far LOL#long post#SORRY AGAIN LMAOOO#denethor anon#denethorposting
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I know the entire SW fandom is freaking out about baby Leia and prickly, tired old man Obi-Wan. And for good reason! But can we talk about Kumail Nanjiani's character, Haja? Because he has now won the award for fastest journey from "I loathe this character and want to see him bloody on the floor" to "I love him and will protect him with my life."
We first meet Haja and he's a low-life con-man. Worse, he is taking everything that the Jedi represented and everything that Obi-Wan stood for and using it for his own selfish, petty purposes. I loathed him on sight. It's a personal affront to Obi-Wan, but also to those of us as fans who have admired the ideals of the Jedi. I wanted Obi-Wan to beat his ass and was hoping Haja would get killed off quickly. How dare he make a mockery of the Jedi ideals of compassion and self-sacrifice, and twist it into greedy self-serving pettiness. How fucking dare he do that and force Obi-Wan, who has lost everything, to see that his entire life as a Jedi is viewed as nothing more than a joke and a means of manipulation? Yeah, Obi-Wan, you can beat this guy to a pulp, and I won't judge you one bit for it.
But then, by the end of the episode.... it's a complete 180 degree turnaround. He shows up and says he will help Obi-Wan. He says, implicitly, that he respects and believes in Obi-Wan. We are finally seeing that there are people in the SW universe who saw the Jedi as heroes. Haja is a fan, like us. And so his attempts at playing "fake Jedi" for his cons are cast in a different light. How many of us as kids used to pretend we were Jedi and wish for Jedi powers? How many of us (like Ewan McGregor, who has been "one of us" all along) have waved our hand in front of an automatic door just for the private moment of pretending that we used the Force? Suddenly, Haja's fakery is transformed from an affront to something relatable and almost sweet.
And then he drops the deal-closing line: "you're not alone, Obi-Wan."
And that's it. I have now adopted Haja and I will love him forever. He is proof that there are people, who must have watched the Jedi from a distance for years, who still remember the Jedi and still respect them. Not everyone in the SW universe is a Han Solo, who knows nothing about the Jedi and thinks they are fake. The Jedi helped millions of people, they were the public face of the clone wars. They can't have just been forgotten so quickly. That's always bothered me. It never made sense that the Jedi were so prominent, and 20 years later they are totally forgotten or regarded as some ancient myth. And now we see that they were never forgotten. People like Han Solo and Rey might be clueless. Others might have bought into Imperial propaganda. But Haja and people like him have never forgotten; they have tried to keep the ideals and the legend of the Jedi alive in what little ways they can.
And now Haja offers Obi-Wan the respect and faith that he needs just when he needs it. And even more than that, he calls him Obi-Wan. Not "Master" (as the doomed young Jedi from the previous episode did). Not "Kenobi," as most of the inquisitors do. Not even "General Kenobi," which would make sense for anyone who had followed the clone wars (and is also how Leia refers to Obi-Wan in her infamous message from Episode IV). No, Haja calls him Obi-Wan. It's personal to him. He uses his first name, the same way people with celebrities who they follow or admire. Haja knows who Obi-Wan is, who he was, and in using his first name, he treats him like a person rather than a figurehead or a representative of the Jedi Order. And even though Obi-Wan isn't willing to accept it yet, Haja offers what comfort he can: "you're not alone, Obi-Wan."
Well-played, SW team. I've never gone from loathing to loving a character so quickly in my life.
Now if you pull the rug out from under me and turn Haja into a double-agent or if (as is more likely) you kill him off, I will not be responsible for my actions!
#obi wan kenobi#obi wan kenobi series#kumail nanjiani#kenobi series#haja estree#(yes apparently thats his full name)#obi wan is a better person than me because i forgot haja's name instantly and had to go look it up)#kenobi spoilers#obi wan kenobi spoilers#khent's posts
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Intro/tracking post
Last updated April 25, 2024.
Older queer white cis dude in California, pronoun he.
Love music.
Enjoy QL, mostly Thai, mostly series. Here to read and comment on posts.
If a series puts me off in the first episode, I will often abandon it, sometimes within the first few minutes. I'm less likely to abandon midway. If I'm considering abandoning a series I've otherwise liked up to that point, I'll often read the reviews on MDL or look up posts on the series, at risk of getting spoilers, to decide whether to go on with it (and it's gone both ways).
Not a fan of spoilers, but recognize it as a risk of engaging so I don't (usually) spoiler-shame. Please don't put them in comments to me, if you would be so kind.
Okay with sad endings if they're earned or otherwise inevitable.
Incomplete watchlist (which I will update from time to time):
Top Ten (in order as best I can, ask me on another day and stuff might move):
Not Me (best QL series ever for plot, acting, cinematography, and music, content warning for violence) (1 re-watch)
Bad Buddy (lots of fun, new discoveries on every re-watch) (3 re-watches)
He's Coming to Me (heartwarming, delightful coming-of-age work. I didn't care for the library raid part and skipped it once on rewatch and there seemed to me to be some inconsistencies with the ghost rules.) (3 re-watches)
Cherry Magic (Japanese version, delightful, looking forward to the Thai remake if they ever settle the rights issues)
To Sir With Love (could get me to try lakorns)
Semantic Error (enemies to lovers comedy that hits all the right notes)
A Tale of a Thousand Stars (fine series, not sure why I haven't rewatched it, need to rewatch after Our Skyy 2)
55:15 Never Too Late (not QL but has a QL subplot, notable for having an older semi-out gay character) (1 re-watch)
Gaya Sa Pelicula (Like in the Movies) (odd couple thrown together, fall in love, hit limits)
Eternal Yesterday (re-watch episode notes) (not usually into high school QL but the plot got me and it blew me away, achingly sad throughout) (1 re-watch)
Much as I love them, I don't automatically recommend every one of them to everyone. The right rec for the right person!
In progress
23.5
Cherry Magic (Thai) (on apparently long-term hold pending rights issues)
I Promised You the Moon (but not actively watching)
Considering
Okay, this is a really long list and I'm probably not going to watch all of them, but a fan's gotta dream, right?
Although I Love You, and You?
The Eighth Sense
Ex-Morning
The Heart Killers
Leap Day
Mama Gogo
Midnight Motel
My Strawberry Film
Old Fashioned Cupcake
Oh! Boarding House
1000 Years Old
The Player
Revamp
Shadow (although probably not)
Stay Still
The Spirealm (this ones an unlikely stretch - censored and 38 x 45 minutes equals over 28 hours)
ThamePo
Unknown (to binge)
Us
First episode watched but not committed to
Our Dining Table
Also Completed:
A Cut Above (in alphabetical order):
Near misses for my top 10 - there can only be 10 - but bubbling under that line. Highly recommended.
Anti-Reset (episode notes) (speculative fiction on the future of AI, in a robot and a human who fall in love, quite emotional)
Formula 17 (campy and fun) (2 or 3 rewatches)
History 3: Trapped (very funny and enjoyable
I Became the Main Role of a BL Drama (feel-good comedy)
The Great Doctor (episode notes) (not QL) (medical/historical/time travel mashup, content warning for violence and gory medical stuff)
Kiseki: Dear to Me (watch notes) (top notch crime drama with a lot of humor - content warning for violence - includes an older gay couple) (1 rewatch)
Lovely Writer (very meta about the QL industry and quite funny)
Moonlight Chicken (touching and fun)
Once Again (touching time travel, sad throughout) (1 rewatch)
180 Degrees Longitude Passes Through Us (intelligent and a good watch, melancholy, feels very much like a stage play)
The Sign (deeply flawed but wild and enthralling deep dive into northeastern Thai mythology disguised as a cop series - content warning for violence - yeah, it's a mess but it's a glorious mess)
10 Years Ticket (episode notes) (crime drama about two warring families, bittersweet ending - not QL, but there's a QL subplot)
3 Will Be Free (review link) (wild ride with great twists, content warning for violence, yeah I'd call it QL)
Until We Meet Again (fine contrast between the ghosts of the past and the world of today, deep story, but has a few problematic scenes that I cringe at, theme music got repetitive; content warning for suicide) (1 or 2 re-watches)
The Warp Effect (not QL, but some queer characters)
and a fanfic:
What's in Your Head (Bad Buddy zombie fic) (content warning for violence, requires AO3 login)
Others I enjoyed (in alpha order):
I enjoyed these enough to be happy I watched them, but not enough to consider them classics and in no danger of breaching my top 10.
Be My Favorite (fun time-travel fantasy with a strong political viewpoint and good twists, one of the mains is a bit hard to take)
Bed Friend (not sure enjoyed is the right word, has some triggers, but worth seeing, loved the cat role-play)
The Boy Foretold By the Stars (fun, sweet comedy)
Choco Milkshake (fun, touching pet fantasy)
Cupid's Last Wish (fun body-swap plot, insane amount of food and landscape porn, rural settings, content warning for gross cow veterinary scene)
Dark Blue Kiss (pretty good, creepy interloper)
Dear Tenant (enjoyed isn't the right word, and had to pause and walk away from it partway for a major cry, but an excellent film)
DNA Says I Love You (review link) (sweet, sad, interesting gender minority rep)
The End of the World With You (mix of SF and fantasy, good story and relationships)
Eternal Summer (Taiwanese film about youth discovering their identity - bisexual love triangle - well done if a bit melancholy)
Ghost Host, Ghost House (nice supernatural treatment)
Gift Shop for People You Hate (not QL but has two minor gay characters making guest appearances, one evil and one harmless) (horror, with a very dark sense of humor) (this one doesn't show an English title on YouTube, but if you search YouTube under that name you'll find it) (1 rewatch)
Jack O'Frost (melancholy and sweet)
The Man Who Defies the World of BL (very funny after watching several series and becoming aware of the tropes)
The Man Who Defies the World of BL season 2 (okay, maybe a joke can go on long enough)
Me, My Husband and My Husband's Boyfriend (bittersweet poly-ish story)
Midnight Museum (not QL but has a major bromance that could go full QL if there's ever a sequel) (a mess, but a glorious mess)
Mr. Unlucky Has No Choice But to Kiss (quite enjoyable)
My Ride (enjoyable comedy with dramatic moments - includes an older gay couple)
Naked Dining (good fun, lots of misunderstandings and food porn)
Neverland (web series from India, well done and too brief)
Our Dating Sim (fun series about the courage to correct your mistakes from the past, set in the video game workplace - a few cringe moments, but generally a very kind series)
Rainbow Prince (campy and fun, not enough songs for something that's supposed to be a musical, you have to be okay with cheesy)
Rak Diao (funny, very silly, although the harassment jokes got old fast and didn't stop)
Sleep With Me (review link) (sweet lesbian romance, kinda slow for such short episodes, great disability rep)
Something in My Room (the abridged-episode version) (good, not great, ghost story)
Stay By My Side (review link) (fun ghost story version of Mr. Unlucky Has No Choice But to Kiss)
Tale of the Lost Boys (movie) (friendship story between a visiting straight Filipino and a gay Taiwanese aboriginal in Taiwan, heartwarming story)
Tinted with You (a way too short, fun time travel fantasy involving a painting and a mystical art lover that bring an art student together with an ancient deposed prince)
Twilight Kiss aka Suk Suk (fine, bittersweet Hong Kong film about an affair between two heterosexually married men who are actually closeted gay men)
Twins (Thai pulp, fun, not too deep)
Your Name Engraved Herein (not sure enjoyed is the right word but it's fine work)
Zero Photography (from Magic of Zero) (most entertaining product promotion vehicle I've seen in QL, even better than Pran & Pat's product placements in Bad Buddy)
Torn about:
These all had some kind of major issue that prevents me from recommending them.
Fish Upon the Sky (appalled at the racism/punch-down humor in episode 4, otherwise loved its play with form)
Last Twilight (entrancing series, but the characters didn't grow, the ending was poorly set up - needed a few more episodes - and it ultimately fumbled on disability rep)
Mr. Cinderella (nearly abandoned this one because of a supporting toxic character, but kept with it after reading a post about the traditional Vietnamese story it was tracking)
Secret Crush on You (cringed for the first half, considered dropping it, read the defense by trans reviewers, watched the rest, and suddenly it got really good)
Together With Me (mix of great content and really problematic content)
Lukewarm:
I'm more glad than not that I watched these but in retrospect would have been okay if I had missed them:
Bagan Beginning (Not-bad early Myanmar QL, lots of food and antiquity porn, content warning for violence in the last episode)
Color Rush (interesting concept, okay)
Enchanté (not as bad as people say it is, but also just okay)
Gay OK Bangkok and Gay OK Bangkok 2 (definitely gay and, er, okay)
Nitiman (okay enough)
Only Friends (episode notes) (a sex farce with too much toxic behavior for my taste and a last episode choice that left a bad taste in my mouth)
Our Skyy 2 Bad Buddy x Thousand Stars (counting the four episodes as one series even though they have different names, didn't love this but didn't hate it either, very pale compared to the original two separate series)
Our Skyy 2 Vice Versa (was just okay with a really bad idea at the base of its plot)
Star & Sky: Star in My Mind (not great, not bad)
The Tasty Florida (cute enough, just so-so)
Vice Versa (brief notes) (good concept, product placements became way too intrusive for my full enjoyment)
Ones I wish I could watch:
I only watch legit sources, both so the creators get money for it and to reduce the hacking risks that watching gray presents.
Triage (I don't have a Thai phone number to log in to AISPlay, and even if I did not sure if it would have English subtitles)
Manner of Death (I need a WeTV subscription and will check that out) (thank you to @lurkingteapot for this info)
I Feel You Linger in the Air
Peach of Time (supernatural plot) (supposedly I can watch this on WeTV using VPN but I'm not yet ready to make the leap to VPN)
Series I abandoned:
Accomplishment of Fundoshi Bartender (episode 2 when he screamed offstage about not dating married men - I know this series isn't intended to be realistic but I still need the other characters to react to his behavior - this series has gotten entirely too silly for me)
Candy Colored Paradox (bored by episode 2 or 3)
Cooking Crush (a few minutes into episode 1 [2/4] as it is getting way too silly for me, plus we're going to have to put up with hazing/bullying as comedy - at least they had some new sound effects)
Cutie Pie (hated the infantilizing, left by episode 3 or 4)
I Told Sunset About You (left in episode 1, not loving the high school content)
Love by Chance (had someone fall on top of someone else in the first 30 seconds, left immediately)
Love Stage (apparently without most of the music - I'm guessing there's rights issues - but I abandoned it after 2 episodes because one of the lead's acting felt flat and I didn't enjoy the humor)
Lucky My Love (first segment didn't engage me)
Meow Ears Up (lost interest in the first episode with the fangirls in the store incident)
My Secret Love (first segment didn't engage me)
One Room Angel (dropped after episode 3 because it's so depressing; open to returning if it cheers up)
Playboyy (a new record - I got scared away by the content warning before the episode even started - however, based on various posts I might reconsider in for a binge watch once it's over)
SOTUS (not a fan of hazing)
Star & Sky: Sky in Your Heart (abandoned around the time of the outhouse incident)
Theory of Love (abandoned when nearly at the beginning Gun's character was crying in the shower)
VIP Only (failed to engage me in the first episode)
Un-favorite tropes:
Falling on someone
Heavy seme/uke dynamic
Northern rural Thai loan sharks
Evil ex
Boss/Employee
Stuff that I've written as opposed to reblogged I've tagged #pandasmagorica so I can find them easier.
#intro post#yaoi#bl series#bl drama#thai bl#taiwanese bl#japanese bl#pandasmagorica#ql#ql drama#ql series#gl drama#gl series#thai ql#taiwanese ql#japanese ql#filipino bl#filipino ql#filipino gl#korean ql#korean bl#hong kong ql#hong kong bl#hong kong films#taiwan films
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Top Nine Favorite TV Series
I was tagged by the incomparable @wen-kexing-apologist to list nine of my favorite shows, thank youu!! <3 This is a... daunting task. I'll do my best.
They've already listed/mentioned a number of shows in their own post I would include in mine (Avatar: The Last Airbender; I Told Sunset About You; 180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us) so I will not be including those, to my absolute despair!! I'm only including stuff I've 100% completed, so that automatically excludes stuff like Orphan Black, Penny Dreadful, Derry Girls, Barry, or Russian Doll.
Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken!
[ID: TV poster. Background is busy with sketches of an urban sprawl, with buildings and flying ships clashing with natural elements. Three teenage girls flail with maniacal glee in the foreground. On the right is the tallest of them all, glasses perched on her head and wearing an astronaut's suit with a jet pack. On the left, a girl in an orange jumpsuit is riding a flying carpet. In the center is a short girl with a round head, clutching animation paper in her hand. She is being jettisoned by a propeller around her waist.]
It took me forever to discern what was happening in that poster, my god.
Anyway, this show!!! Exactly what I needed at the time I watched it. So full of joy and creativity with no cynicism or guile to be seen. Pure, unfettered fun but still delivered moving characters and story. It's literally about three weird teenage girls who decide to start an animation club at their high school. Doesn't sound like much but is absolutely PASSIONATE in every sense of the word, in every way you could possibly apply it practically in its creation. It's so obvious everyone had fun making this little show. This is the kind of art that makes you hug yourself with tears of happiness. Or is that just something I do?
Give me more stories about weird girls being fucking bizarre!!! I need it!!!
Tldr; Hilarious, full of heart, reminded me why I love art, why I love stories, and what I love about life. An absolute 10/10 for me.
Batman: The Animated Series
[ID: TV poster. Batman is silhouetted against a black background, drawing his cape up around his body and staring at the viewer through narrow white slits in his bat-like mask. Batman's head is backlit by a bright red sun.]
Oh, you think I'm just adding this for pure nostalgia? WRONG. B:TAS absolutely stands up to scrutiny even without nostalgia glasses. I rewatched this relatively recently and was completely blown away by the complexity in its storytelling and characterization. Yes, I was obsessed with this show (and the rest of the DCAU) as a kid, but as an adult I can find very few flaws. B:TAS may represent one of my first forays into noir, which is potentially my favorite genre across all art-forms. It certainly represents one of the first times I fell in love with a superhero story.
Tldr; Kevin Conroy IS the best Batman. 10/10
Breaking Bad
[ID: Photo of four major characters from Breaking Bad. From left to right: Gus Fring, a Chilean man wearing round spectacles and a collared shirt with tie; Jesse Pinkman, a white man in his mid-twenties wearing a black T-shirt; Walter White, a bald white man with a full mustache and extended goatee, wearing large glasses; Mike Ehrmantraut, a bald white man with a bulbous nose. All four look into the camera with expressions of tired determination.]
Ah yes, the show that seems to make it to every "favorite shows" list made by everyone else in the universe. I really do love it though; it has incredible, complex, morally-gray characters, a gripping plot and story, phenomenal thematic development, GORGEOUS cinematography and production design, and bonkers acting. It really deserves all its accolades and praise. Add to that a disabled character played by a disabled actor and you've got me singing your praises all the way to the grave!
Tdlr; Virulent toxic masculinity LOSES and we all cheer! It leaves lasting trauma and devastation in its wake and we all scream in agonized recognition! 10/10 fried chickens
Over the Garden Wall
[ID: TV poster. Two young boys are wandering in a wooded area, approaching a darkened alcove of trees and vines. The taller of the two is wearing a red conical hat and blue cape with golden buttons. He looks into the dark woods with worry. A shorter boy scampers excitedly ahead, balancing an upside-down silver teakettle atop his head and hoisting a large green frog under his arm. A bluebird flies at their side.]
My best friend and I watch this show together every year. I am such a sucker for good sibling stories and this one takes the cake. The way Wirt and Greg love each other is heartbreakingly realistic, and to set the growth of their relationship against a confusing and bizarre backdrop is so satisfying. And what a backdrop! I loved fairytales as a kid and this show scratches that itch. Besides the great little vignettes what brings me back to this story again and again is the attention to nuanced relationship development between ALL characters. Wirt's character growth hinges on learning how not to inflict loneliness on himself, to instead accept love and care from others, even those he considers too good for him. Me likey! Great music and one of the best-designed monsters/villains I've seen in any children's animated show, and you've won me over.
Tldr; Goofy kids, goofy problems. Potatoes and molasses. 10/10, would be spooked again
Bad Buddy
[ID: TV poster. Two young college-aged men are standing close together in a yellow-lit room in front of a window. The man on the left stands with his arms wrapped around the waist of the other man, looking fondly into his eyes. The man on the right looks worried, one finger over his lips as he presses his hand against the other man's mouth.]
I was hesitant to start watching BL. Nothing about the genre appealed to me beyond the romance and happy endings. But then KinnPorsche lured me in with promises of attempts not to shy away from queerness. As I was in the midst of watching that I decided to check out this show as it had been trending on Tumblr with one person I follow rabidly enthused about it. Looked super fun (and was a Shakespeare adaptation!) and free on YouTube, so I took a peek... and the rest is history. I credit this show for keeping me around. I was SHOCKED at how queer-positive and forward-thinking it was and excited to learn of P'Aof's existence. BL was being created by IRL gay people?! And they're conscious of what they're making?! Consider me seated! This show became the first BL I ever completed and I am so glad it did. This fandom is the first where I've felt relatively safe to express myself and has opened me up to so many other like-minded people, willing to watch fun stuff but also critique it in the same breath. I'm so glad a show as good (if imperfect) as this one brought me here.
Tldr; Excellent Shakespeare adaptations are my catnip. Product placements didn't scare me away so you KNOW it's charming. An ending so perfect it made me tear up. Fandom so lovely it made me stay. 9/10 warm and fuzzies
She-Ra and the Princesses of Power
[ID: TV poster. Two characters from the show face off against each other. On the left is a cat-like humanoid, Catra, with thick brown hair and different colored eyes: blue and yellow. Her right arm is raised in a defensive stance against the girl on the right, Adora, blonde with a large golden headdress. Her golden gauntlet clashes with Catra's arm, creating a bright burst of light.]
I just recently watched Nimona (WONDERFUL) so felt like I should shout out this show. In making this list I've further realized just how much I attach to animated shows I needed to see as a kid. She-Ra kinda takes the cake in that aspect. Multi-dimensionally queer with badass characters defying gender and relational conventions?! Fun, cheesy action with real stakes?! Anti-colonialist messaging?! Hell yeah. But most of all, this show has one of my favorite fictional characters of all time in Catra. ND Stevenson seems to have a knack for writing characters my inner child relates way too much to. Abused, neglected, shunned, bulled, traumatized kid who is visibly and invisibly different to those around her. Lights up as soon as anyone seems to respect her talents and see her potential, only to be manipulated. To crash and burn and grapple with self-hatred as a consequence. THEN she finds love in people who see her for who she is, know what she's done, and give her a chance to do better! Her character arc is so important to me. Not only that, but the ending kiss/confession between her and Adora is INCREDIBLE both as a narrative culmination and as a production win. Talk about a hard-fought queer kiss.
Tldr; Important and powerful. Good queer fun. TERRIBLE theme song. 9/10
Black Sails
[ID: TV poster. Tagline above the title reads "WAR AGAINST THE WORLD". A bald white man with soot and blood streaked across his face stands in the foreground. He is wearing an outfit typical of a pirate, holding a cutlass in his right hand. He is ankle-deep in water. He looks over his shoulder; a fleet of ships burn in the background. A large, tattered Union Jack waves behind the man's head. He is Captain Flint.]
Whenever someone asks me what my favorite show is, this is the one that pops into mind. It has EVERYTHING. Complicated, at-times intensely unlikable protagonists, queerness out the ears, great costuming, pathos, meta-upon-meta commentary on itself, the source material Treasure Island, the modern and historical world it's set in and the concept of fiction itself, EVERYTHING. You want strong themes? This show has THEMES. It's hard to find a show about rebellion or anarchy that ACTUALLY feels revolutionary. I think this show is it. This came out around the same time Game of Thrones was big so caved to some pressure in the first season to make itself appeal to a similar audience (thanks Michael Bay) but wow did they make that season pay off in a big way in retrospect. It only gets better, more assured in itself as it goes on.
Tldr; A story about stories. Straight-baited in season one, off-the-rails queer in seasons two to four. Madi deserved better. Anne Bonny: childhood hero to queer crank on TV! Me: in love. 9/10
Gravity Falls
[ID: TV poster. Three people set forth on an expedition through the dark woods. Leading the pack is Dipper, a young boy wearing a white and blue cap with a blue pine tree on the front. He is reading an old hardback tome with a gold hand on the front with the number "3" on the palm. Behind him is his twin sister, Mabel. She is grinning at the viewer, showing off her braces and harpoon gun. Her sweatshirt bright pink with a multi-colored shooting star on its front. Bringing up the rear is their Grunkle Stan, a grumpy old man wearing a red fez with a golden fish eating a smaller fish. He holds aloft a gas lantern. Behind them all is the Mystery Shack, with a triangular window lit by a yellow glow and a weather vane in the shape of a question mark. In the lower left-hand corner is a bearded gnome looking at the viewer, holding a finger in front of his open mouth.]
Oh, you think I'm just including for nostalgia reasons? CORRECT. But I do think this show is great, regardless. I think it's easy to tell at this point that I really enjoy speculative fiction. This show fires on all cylinders in that respect, hitting up the supernatural, science fiction, fantasy, horror, alternate history, and adding a splash of the gothic just for me. Add in there great familial and sibling dynamics, fun animation and a GREAT villain... that's my jam! This is the show that my best friend and I watched together and bonded over as freshmen in college. They got Mabel's sweater and I got Dipper's cap; this piece of personal history makes the show more special to me.
Tldr; Send kids to the woods and let them figure it out. Makes for some great television. Great friendships, too. 9/10 lumberjacks
Fleabag
[ID: TV poster. A white woman with short, curly brown hair and a large nose poses in a pastiche of a Christian saint. The poster itself is stylized like a Renaissance-era painting or religious effigy. A halo encircles her head as she stares off in the distance. In her hand, the woman holds a guinea pig emanating a soft glow.]
A masterclass in creating a miniseries which feels expansive and fully-contained. Might be the culmination of many things I've touched on in this list. Weird, off-putting protagonists/women, darker storylines with plenty of comedic heft, themes of grief, self-hatred, loneliness and hope, complicated sibling/familial relationships, and mental illness. Who knew? (Me.) Above all else, I love stories about love. This show manages to complicate the conversation about love - self-love, love as obligation, love as devotion, love as obsession, love as healing - in eternally satisfying ways.
Tldr; It'll pass. 9/10
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You underestimate my desire for knowledge. Do it. Talk about refrigeration compressor motors.
Hello hi, sorry for the delay. I had to wait for the brain power to return to me.
So, an electric motor's job is to convert electrostatic potential energy into magnetic potential energy in order to rotate a shaft, thus making one final energy conversion from magnetic PE to kinetic energy. There is a secret fourth energy conversion, though, and that is another form of kinetic energy: heat. The heat is waste, though.
Anyways, the power available in your home is not the power generated at the source powerplant; it is just a single phase of alternating current (AC), instead of three. Electric motors running on single-phase encounter an interesting problem: they need a special winding, called a start winding, to get the motor going. It is phase shifted from the run winding (which keeps the motor running after startup). The easiest way to explain phase shift, in this context, is to think of it like the pedals on a bicycle: if the pedals weren't opposite each other (offset from each other 180 degrees), it would be very difficult to pedal. Unlike a bicycle, the phase shift in the motor isn't 180 degrees. It's less than that. About 45 degrees.
Both the start and run windings are coils of wire. The more times the wire is wound, the stronger the magnetic field it generates. The start coil has more windings than the run coil.
To help smooth power delivery and introduce the aforementioned phase shift, we need capacitors. Capacitors are just small batteries. They can hold a charge and be discharged. They also block direct current (DC), but allow AC to pass through it. It's really neat. On startup, a single-phase motor using capacitors only needs the start coil and the start capacitor briefly. If they remain in the circuit afterwards, they risk overheating and destroying themselves. So how do we automatically take the start coil and capacitor out of the circuit after startup?
One way is to use a centrifugal mechanical switch that will disconnect the start components from the circuit once the motor reaches 75% of its maximum RPM. This switch must be in the motor, though, and will create a spark when it breaks contact. This is okay for motors that are in the air, but what about the motors in a hermetically sealed refrigerant compressor? That spark would degrade the refrigerant, and that's a non-starter.
We need an RPM sensitive switch outside the compressor motor, and one way to do this is with a potential relay.
This is a diagram of a potential relay circuit with a capacitor-start, capacitor-run compressor motor.
On startup, the relay contacts, 2 and 1, are closed. Power can flow through the start winding and through both the run and start capacitors. This gives the motor a good grunt to get it going, with the start winding slightly out of phase with the run winding. Once the motor reaches 75% of its max. RPM, though, the magnets on the rotor/shaft of the motor induce a back electromotive force, or BEMF, in the start winding. The start winding becomes a voltage source in tandem with the incoming power from the outlet.
The induced AC voltage is stronger than the incoming power, and is also out of phase with it. This is demonstrated in the diagram with voltmeters 1 and 2. The induced voltage flows through the coil of the potential relay at terminals 2 and 5, and the coil generates a magnetic field which pulls the relay contacts open, breaking the connection to the start capacitor and preventing the start winding from connecting with the other side of our power supply. So long as the motor is running, the BEMF is present and keeps the relay open.
This is what the voltage looks like on an oscilloscope. CH1 is the smaller wave and it's on the common run terminal. CH2 is the larger wave and is at terminal 2 of the relay.
As we can see, the induced voltage on the start winding lags behind the line voltage by about 45 degrees and it is much stronger.
When the motor shuts off and slows down, the induced voltage disappears and the relay contacts close again. The relay sits outside the motor where sparks are acceptable.
As a cherry on top, I've drawn the current paths through the circuit to help illustrate what's happening:
^ Start condition (red). Current flow through the start winding and start + run capacitors
^ Run condition (blue). BEMF across the start winding powers the relay coil and opens the contacts.
There is a lot more going on I could talk about, but that's just the part I wanted to be autistic about. There is actually a better way to draw out this circuit that looks like this:
Sw = Start winding
Rw = Rung winding
PR = Potential relay
Sc = Start Capacitor
Rc = Run capacitor
And isn't that fascinating?
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Does Doe run borrowed time?
OOOOOH OZZIE, you've triggered the unskippable cutscene!
Doe does not run Borrowed Time, unfortunately, it's just not a part of her playstyle. Though that's not to say she's never been taught the perk by her teammates.
Doe instead exclusively runs her default load out of perks (Desperate Measures, Flight, Die Another Day) + Spine Chill. which gives her the advantage to quickly respond to danger and put distance between herself and the Killer.
Doe is all about pre-empting the chase & escaping. Avoiding bad situations entirely whenever possible.
Though through Doe's socialization arc and self-discovery, this becomes less of a method of avoidance and more a matter of using her penchant for pre-cognition and paranoia to the benefit of her teammates.
Now, Doe's perks & perk loadout is covered in her Carrd but because I've never discussed them publicly on the blog, I've listed them below if you want to take a look and read into them,
DESPERATE MEASURES. Years on the run have taught you to be resourceful to ensure your survival, when interacting with a locker, the survivor is given the opportunity to Trap it.
Choosing to trap the locker will create a visible Tripwire in a 180 degree angle away from the locker which must be attached to nearby environmental objects and will render the lockers visibly open to both Killers and Survivors.
A total of 3 Tripwire traps can be placed at any single time during the match and will remain inert after being placed until they are activated.
Tripwire Traps will be activated when a Killer passes directly through the Tripwire. When this occurs the Tripwire Trap will break, causing the locker to close and creating a sound and brief visual notification for all survivors of the triggered trap.
The Killer that triggered the trap will experience a Hindered Effect of 5 / 10 / 15% for 10 seconds. And forcing Killers with the Undetectable Status to be revealed for 2 / 4 / 6 seconds
Killers can disable and dismantle Tripwire Traps left by survivors by interacting with the locker it was placed on. Survivors can likewise dismantle Tripwire Trap they have placed and reset them in a different location.
*Other Survivors cannot set off or interact with Tripwire Traps laid by other Survivors*
DIE ANOTHER DAY When in the heat of conflict, your mind is honed to focus on one thing: survival. While in the killer terror radius you gain 7% haste to healing, searching & hiding objectives at the cost of suffering from decreased generator repair / door opening speeds of 8 / 6 / 4%
Tunnel Vision also grants the aura of palettes, windows & interactables / player traps to be outlined within a radius of 14/18/24 metres from the Player
FLIGHT You've always been known to cut your losses and take flight. When the Survivor is afflicted by the Exposed status effect or enters a chase with the Killer.
Flight grants a 5 / 6 / 7% Haste effect for all movement & interaction speeds for a duration of 4 / 6 / 10 seconds during a chase, at the cost of any wounds gained during this chase triggering the Deep Wound status & respective timer, if not automatically downing the survivor
Flight also grants the post-hit speed boost to be extended by 2 seconds
Positive effects of Flight withstanding the Deep Wound status effect, will conclude after the duration of the Exposure and Chase has concluded (if it has not already)
`"By the time they notice, I'm already long gone," - Doe
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Miss Kringle's fate: A Useless Essay on the Masks of Abuse and Respecting Equilibriums
(Spoiler for Gotham s2)
I am watching season 2 of Gotham and I finally came to the death of Miss Kringle. I'll have to make a premise: I knew she was going to die already (I spoiled myself quite a lot of the show) and Edward was going to kill her. I had thought, knowing nothing more than these two pieces of information, I would hated Edward for this death. I thought he was going to make a 180 degrees turn, become all of a sudden a horrible man who kills the woman who maybe wanted to break up with him, the epitomy of the violent misogynist. I was wrong, and I am pleased about it. I still think Edward is misogynist, just not in the way I think he would have been, in a way I find more sophisticated.
First of all, to analyse Miss Kringle's death, we have to understand why she was killed. I am usually hesitant to automatically define the killing of every woman as a feminicide, I prefer to use that term only when the motive behind the killing of a woman is directly connected to her gender. What I mean is, if there's a bank robbery and they kill a woman because she was the banker and the thugs needed her dead to steal the money, I personally prefer to simply use the word homicide. If a woman is killed by her partner because she wanted to leave them, especially if that partner is a man, I call that feminicide. That's probably just me, but I say that because I thought, before watching the scene, Edward was going to kill Miss Kringle just because she wanted to leave him. It has to be acknowledged he had another reason for his actions, maybe even more important than the fail of their relationship, which is that she was threatening to tell the police he had killed Tom Dougherty. Ed's reaction does not only depend on his broken heart, but on a very practical reason: he doesn't want to go to jail. As much as he seems to only ask for Kristen not to insult him, there are other reasonings in action behind he keeping her mouth shut and stopping her from leaving the apartment. He doesn't just kill her because "woman weak, man strong, man needs to teach woman lesson". He isn't showing he is the strongest in the relationship, he is trying to protect himself. Does that mean he is not guilt of misogyny? Hell no. But I love how the show treats that.
You see, I was worried Edward was going to turn into Dougherty n. 2, especially with the Riddler saying things like Miss Kringle owed them her love and that women likes their guys a little violent. You have become the very thing you swore to destroy, blah blah blah. But that's not wbat the show does, it's not the Riddler to kill Miss Kringle, it's Edward, and he does it staying true to himself.
Let's get a clear vision of the situation: Edward fucked up by telling Miss Kringle he killed Officer Dougherty. It may surprise you what I am going tp tell you, but I understand Edward. First of all, he was genuinely trying to reassure Miss Kringle. The poor girl was worried she was going to get killed for having another boyfriend, Edward was trying to bring her out of her paranoia. Second: there are moments you feel so connected and so in love with someone, you think you could tell them anything. Spoiler: you can't. Most of the time, you fuck up by being too blunt or revealing them something bad about you, this very romantic idea that your person will love forever and ever the entirety of you is not very realistic. I blame lots of romance books, movies and shows for planting this idea into our head, and especially movies for making us believe that real life is just like a film, that there are scenes too romantic and perfect to be spoiled by a single wrong comment. Usually, when you fuck up a moment like that in real life, you are not confessing a murder to your loved one. Edward was, bad luck. I mentioned romance books and movies and tv shows because I genuinely believe Edward mainly relies, on the subject of romance, on those rather than real life experience. I think Edward thought for a moment he was in a movie and he was the hero, now that he got the girl the story simply ended with a "and they lived happily ever after", nothing could ever change that.
Now Miss Kringle's reaction is completely understandable, she gets scared and she starts insulting Edward. Was that the best strategy to go out of that situation? No, of course not, but can you blame her? She just found out her boyfriend is murderer, and quite proud of it.
Anyway, that's when the fun starts. As I said before, Edward DOES NOT switch to the Riddler, he stays himself the entire time. We have to analyse his words and his actions separately.
Let's start with his words. He is pleading. He is embarrassed, he is ashamed, he is clearly losing the verbal debate. Miss Kringle is the aggressive one, Edward is helpless, almost at loss for words, he just prays not to be insulted. He tries to keep repeating his reasons behind his action, but that just makes things worse (Kristen calls him a stalker). This guy is fragile. His ego was already shattered and Kristen is basically beating a dead horse. Miss Kringle is winning, Edward is losing, badly. He is the scared, he is making up excuses, she is insulting him and threatening him. He keeps showing devotion and love to her hoping this will calme her down. He doesn't suddenly turn Tom Dougherty, he doesn't go "You stupid bitch, I saved you, you owe me!", consciously he is aware he is wrong. His words are the part of himself he can control, and with that part he begs for forgiveness and pity. If we were to only hear their dialogue, I'd imagine she is throwing stuff at him while he is curled in fetal position on the floor. Even her more cutting insults don't make him consciously retaliate against her, threating her to kill her like he did with her ex boyfriend, Edward is acting like the weak one.
Now switch it up, and let's analyse their actions: Miss Kringle is running away, logically, Edward is chasing her. I think their movements represent what they're truly feeling in the moment. They have control over their words but their movements reveal their intentions: Miss Kringle may appear aggressive with the insults, but she is scared and she knows she is the one in danger, she wants to get out of the apartment. Obviously Edward is chasing her to regain, at least physically, some closeness, but then, when she tries to run away completely from the apartment he doesn't simply follow her in the stairs or even the streets, he keeps her in the apartment with physical strength. He is asking for forgiveness on the outside, on the inside he knows he also needs to worry about not ending up in prison, and that's what will happen if he let Kristen go. She hits him multiple times, he is hurt, physically and emotionally, but he has a frenzy in his movements, he doesn't take the time to check his wounds, bring a hand to his face, he is immediately on her. Because he knows he is in danger. Because he knows that Kristen's forgiveness is very important, but that he does not end up in jail is even more important, it doesn't matter if he deserves it or not. He doesn't threaten her with words, he is not ready to acknowledge that, but his actions speak clear.
The scene when Edward holds Miss Kringle tp the door saying he would never hurt her, that he is a good man, while he is choking her and putting a hand on her mouth shows greatly this dissonance between words and actions, in his conscious side and unconscious side. Even then, he is not threatening her consciously. He truly believes himself a hero, he is not lying when he says he doesn't want to hurt her.
And that is the reason I like so much how Gotham treats abuse in relationships.
Edward doesn't need to become Dougherty in order to become an abuser. There's a not a magical revelation in which oh, look at that, Edward is actually exactly like Tom, and he starts acting like him and that's who he truly was all along. Edward and Tom are different people, not all abuse look the same and not all abusers act the same, because abuse has different faces, both Tom's and Edward's.
And it's especially great that we see Edward's abuse because it goes to show that just because someone doesn't believe himself an abuser it doesn't mean he is not one. Edward stood up against Tom's abuse but he couldn't see his own. Edward genuinely thought he was acting good in Miss Kringle's regards and him holding her down towards the door, well, it was just a minor thing to keep himself out of jail, it's not like he wanted to hurt her.
Abusers aren't always villains with an evil plan to lure you in a relationship just to hurt you, they may not even realise they're doing wrong (which certainly does NOT excuse them) and I love Gotham for showing this. In the same way Edward did not realise hebwas hurting, to the point of killing, Miss Kringle, even Tom Dougherty didn't think he was abusing her, he just thought "that's how you treat women". Edward may become a supervillain later on the show, but at this point he is just man convinced he is doing no harm to this woman. Because he doesn't want to harm her he is convinced he is not harming her. Because the reason he is choking her and shutting her up is simply because he doesn't want to go to jail and not purposefully hurting her he is convinced he is not harming her. By my definition of a feminicide I gave before, Edward would say it's not what happened, he didn't want to kill her, he didn't want to hurt, he loved her so he can't be guilty of feminicide, but he is. He just doesn't realise it.
Edward is not Tom, he doesn't think he is the strong man who can take down a fragile woman, his ego doesn't get a boost how that he's proved himself to be stronger than a fragile girl, he knows murder is wrong. He never shows to think less of a woman because she is a woman, he is the first to notice and denounce an abuse, he is lean and lanky, he doesn't look like a gorilla who would attack you, more like a shaking leaf you could easily push around. Still, monsters come in more shapes than one.
I want to be extra fair in this analysis so I'll add even something more about Edward's actions. I have seen a few video essays on Gotham and what they all say is that the city is the true main character, the city shapes his characters and leads them into impossible situations that force them to change and act in ways they would have never dreamed of. I think this becomes incredibly evident in Edward's actions towards Tom Dougherty and Miss Kringle.
I'll start by saying this: I justify Edward's murder of Tom Dougherty. And not because Tom is an abuser (although this obviously makes me sympathise with Edward more than with Tom), but because it was the only way out. Listen to me.
Gotham (the show) spends so much time telling us police is corrupted to the bone and cops often cover eachothers' backs, even when the backs they're covering are guilty of serious crimes. This means that denouncing the abuse Miss Kringle was receiving from Dougherty was not only probably useless, but even dangerous. At best, it would have brought to nothing, Dougherty's colleagues would have said Miss Kringle or Edward were lying (and, especially with Edward, they would have tried to say that he was the creep that was making shit up because of his jealousy); at worst, not only that, but Edward would have got retaliation (probably physical, they would have seriously beaten him up) and the abuse on Miss Kringle would have worsened, as a way to intimidate her from ever trying to come forward again.
If you're thinking of some plot of "making Officer Dougherty leave Miss Kringle/falling for someone else", this does NOT solve the situation, it just means a different woman from Miss Kringle would have ended up abused.
The only solution is, sadly, to do justice by oneself, and that involves violence. Now, Edward use the most extreme option, murder, but let's be honest: it's not like he could ever beat Tom up. And even if he could, Tom would have beaten the shit out of him 10 times worse with the help of his friends. It solves nothing. As sad as it is, unless Edward decided to go to Jim Gordon, The Most Honest Man In Gotham, hoping he could something and quickly, murder is the most obvious solution. Edward could not risk Gordon's involvement to make things worse (and also there's this thing that maybe you don't want to advertise that someone is being abused, the abused person has the right not to want the word to spread and Jim isn't exactly subtle). Anyway, Jim Gordon's involvement was not a guarantee of solving the situation, and again, you fail the first time, Dougherty and his pals become more aggressive and dangerous.
Murder is, technically, always a solution for things, I have to add. You don't want to take a test in school because you know you'll fail? You could technically kill your teacher. Emphasis of technically. That would make you not do the test. Of course you don't murder your teacher for a test, it's an absurd and far fetched solution, a test isn't worth a human life and there hundreds of solutions in between murder and accepting to fail the test (copying the test, not showing up, etc.).
The thing with Gotham (the city) is that it's so filthy and corrupted that even something like murder, which is the last solution you should ever turn to, suddenly becomes a very valid option to consider, especially with a situation as serious as abuse. I don't think Edward was crazy to kill Dougherty, I think he was logical. I think he understood way better than Miss Kringle how things work in Gotham.
Again, Edward is a very logical person. He kills Dougherty because it's the only way to get efficiently rid of the problem, he holds Kristen down and doesn't let her leave the apartment because otherwise she would have got him in jail, he holds his hand over her mouth because her screams would have alarmed the other residents of his building. I am sure part of him also subconsciously knew that choking her and simultaneously blocking her respiratory tracts was going to kill her, but it was the same subconscious part that decided Edward being free was more important than Kristen being alive.
Truly, if we take into consideration how Gotham (the city) works, how it's based on an equilibrium of giving and taking, we may as well put the blame of Kristen's death on Kristen herself. When Edward confesses what he had to do to free her for her abuser and he explains his reasons, he has more of a point than he himself realises. He made a sacrifice to the city of Gotham, he took a life, Tom's, to save another one, Kristen's. Kristen is horrified by Edward's actions, which translates directly in being horrified by Gotham's logic.
She tries to do the right thing. The right thing is not compromising, is telling Edward he is a monster and she'll send him to jail. But she dies, because Gotham doesn't work like that, you don't win doing the right thing. She would have got more chances to win if she pretended to think Edward her hero, to think his actions brave, for the moment, and the day after, at work, she would have confessed everything to the police (people hate Edward Nygma, they would have believed her). She could have asked Edward to give her Dougherty's badge as a proof of his love and later present it to the police as proof of the murder. But that, you see, would have involved foul play, that is the way of Gotham Kristen simply abhors. So she uncover all of her cards and she starts screaming insults and she dies for that, because she refused to bend to the rules of the city.
Edward, instead, understands them very well. When he had to choose between Miss Kringle and his moral principles, he chose Miss Kringle. When he had to choose between Miss Kringle and himself, he understood he couldn't have both, and ultimately, even subconsciously, he killed Miss Kringle. He chose himself.
It's not an easy choice, those are true tears he cries over her dead body, but nonetheless he understood he had to choose. And he did, and that's why Gotham granted him to survive another day. The city is alive and controls all of his inhbitants, the ones who thrive are the ones who understands this do ut des, this constant give and take not even Jim Gordon, the epitome of the honest man, can escape, and that's why he bends to asking and doing favours for the Penguin.
Miss Kringle was asked to choose, live a life happily ever after with Edward and a dark secret or denounce Edward when she could, the only two rational options. She chose the third, to get out of the game, to scream and throw the chess board in the air. Refusing to play the game simply means to die in Gotham, and that was the fate she sealed for herself.
The only one who truly always wins is Gotham itself.
I know this is like a lot for somebody who has just started season 2 and it's definitely overthinking and if you're read until this point wow I'm impressed but Gotham burdens me with thoughts
#gotham#gotham fox#long post#essay#kristen kringle#miss kringle#edward nygma#the riddler#character analysis#tom dougherty
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Surge, the Sponge Warframe
Or rather the absorption warframe? He sucks up enemy damage and then redirects it. It's more of a physics concept than a physical object. For in-game-model stuff he's designed like he's wearing a sort of inflatable latex suit at all times, and when he absorbs enemy fire it swells up. Yes, it's weird, this is Warframe; the autism and kinks looter shooter.
Health: 450 (550 at rank 30)
Shields: 450 (550 at rank 30)
Armor: 300
Energy: 80 (120 at rank 30)
Sprint Speed: 0.9
Passive: While Surge has damage stored by Suck his primary, secondary, melee, and heavy weapons deal an extra instance of damage with every hit worth 10% of the weapon's total damage (not including sources of temporary damage such as arcanes, galvanized mods, or warframe abilities) for every digit of stored damage (10% for 1-9 damage, 20% for 10-99 damage, 30% for 100-999 damage, etc). The damage type that Surge has absorbed the most of will be the type added to his weapons by this effect.
Ability 1A: Suck, toggled ability, drains 3 energy per second. Tap the ability 1 key to activate and tap again to deactivate. Surge sheaths his weapons and his movement speed is reduced by 30% as he holds out his hands, opening the powerful suction vents in his palms to take in matter and energy into the folded space that exists inside of him. While Suck is active Surge absorbs 100% of all incoming damage in a 90 degree, 75 meter cone in front of him or 60% of incoming damage in a 180 degree, 30 meter cone. Damage absorbed by Suck is stored for later use. Suck's absorption is capped at 999,999,999 damage.
Ability 1B: Blow, Hold the ability 1 key to release stored damage (requiring a minimum value of 1,000 absorbed damage) which is divided between all enemies in a 30 meter 90 degree cone in front of Surge. Released damage starts at 10% of stored damage with a 0.5 second hold and scales up to 25% if held for up to an additional second. Damage released by Blow includes all damage types absorbed in equal proportions to each other and every damage type present has its own 25% status chance.
Ability 2: Dispersion, toggled ability, drains 5 energy per second. Surge avoids damage on his health and shields (but not on overshields and overguard) using accumulated kinetic energy. While Dispersion is active Damage that would have affected Surge's health or shields is instead dealt to the pool of stored damage that he has collected using Suck. The simulated health created by Dispersion behaves as if it has 100 armor for every digit of stored damage (100 for 1-9 damage, 200 for 10-99 damage, 300 for 100-999 damage, etc). If Surge runs out of either energy or absorbed damage this ability will automatically terminate.
Ability 3: Rarefaction, 50 energy. Tap or hold the ability key to cast Refraction, converting a portion of absorbed damage into healing and resources. On tap Surge absorbs 10% of absorbed damage, or hold for up to 2 seconds to absorb up to 50% of stored damage for added benefits.
-Restores between 15 and 75% of Surge's max health depending on how long the ability key was held. Healing from this effect can grant shields, overshields, and up to 1200 points of overguard.
-Increases Surge's armor by 10% for every digit of stored damage that was consumed (10% for 1-9 damage, 20% for 10-99 damage, 30% for 100-999 damage, etc) for the next 10 seconds.
-Allies within 30 meters of Surge receive half as much as Surge from the above effects.
-Lastly, Surge spawns 1 ammo pack at his feet for every digit of stored damage that was consumed (1 for 1-9 damage, 2 for 10-99 damage, 3 for 100-999 damage, etc) which have a 45% chance to be for primary weapons, 45% chance to be for secondary weapons, and a 10% chance to be for heavy weapons.
Ability 4: Full Discharge, 100 energy. Surge desperately attempts to disperse attackers by releasing the matter and energy he had absorbed all at once, damaging all enemies within range while ragdolling them and throwing them away. All damage stored by Suck is consumed at once, dealing an equal value of damage divided between all enemies in a 30 meter radius. Damage released by Full Discharge includes all damage types absorbed in equal proportions to each other. Full Discharge has 50% status chance for every digit of stored damage that was consumed (50% for 1-9 damage, 100% for 10-99 damage, 150% for 100-999 damage, etc)
Subsumed ability: Suck/Blow (Maximum damage storage is capped when Suck/Blow are subsumed on another warframe with the maximum damage scaling with the warframe's armor, max health, and max shields.)
Signature Weapons
Lovelock: Surge's signature weapon, a dual-mode shotgun with two very different uses. Moderately sized magazine with a quick reload. Both fire modes have a semi-auto trigger with slow firing speed. Primary fire deals heavy damage evenly spread between impact, puncture, and slash and has good range for a shotgun with high status at the cost of low crit. Secondary fire mode releases a blast of pure magnetic damage in a short cone which deals very little damage but has extremely high status chance at the cost of almost no crit and strips 30% of armor from all enemies hit. Armor stripped by secondary fire adds extra pellets to the primary fire's next shot. Bonus pellets stockpiled by alt-fire are lost on reload or sheathing. As Surge's signature shotgun Lovelock's stockpiled bonus pellets are not lost when he sheathes this weapon.
Coulomb: A pair of exotic Tenno tonfa that serve as Surge's signature melee weapon, built to combine high tech construction with ancient designs and techniques. Average attack speed with below-average per-hit damage to offset very high crit and status chance and an above average critical multiplier. Deals roughly even values of magnetic, impact, puncture, and slash damage. The Coulomb has a unique heavy attack animation that fires a tight spread of shotgun-like pellets. Every time the Coulomb blocks an enemy projectile it adds an extra pellet to the next heavy attack discharge. These bonus pellets are lost if the weapon is sheathed, unless wielded by Surge.
Closing Notes: Okay now that he's done sponge is a very apt title for him because he is a GIANT DAMAGE SPONGE. Working on this made me realize how little of his actual mechanics I had planned in advance.
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when a character is feeling SO sick and nauseous but they just can’t get anything up.. and then one little thing triggers it and they can’t stop?
You can choose the sickie and the caretaker :)
a.n : more like a drabble ... i hope this is what you're wanted, anon ~ to be honest, i'm not good at writing the build up or the nausea .. specifically . soooo ... i hope you like this .. 🧎♂️🙏
"Jiminie ... again?", Yoongi shifts on his seat, scooting closer to his friend, quietly places his hand on his back and rubs it as the younger try to calm himself down from nausea that been latching on him all day. Jimin nods, before his shoulder hitch upward as he gag over his palm, again. This one sounds wetter, and kind of harsh since it got him squeezing his eyes, shuddering, at the same time as tears started to roll out his eyes.
"I'm going to the bathroom..." Jimin mumbles out through his tears. He tries to breathe in deeply, but it only lead to a cough leaving him with another heave over his mouth. He groans loudly this time, peeling himself away from Yoongi who had just started patting his back in comfort—for camping back in the bathroom ; just like he did since this morning ; facing the toilet for hours just to spits saliva and gagging emptily all over it. He's growing tired of it.
He feels icky. Horrible. Heavy. And irritated. He's not a big fan of throwing up—in fact, out of all sickness in this world, Jimin hates throwing up the most. But now, it's a 180 degree turns as he wants nothing but to throw up, so his stomach can leave him alone.
Jimin coughs, as his throat tighten with a new urge to gag, just in time when he kneels over the toilet, opening the lid. He shut his eyes when his gross sound of gagging echoes through the small room.
"Don't force yourself ..", Yoongi said softly, walking in, and like it was automatic, his hand immediately found its way to Jimin's back, rubbing it gently. Again. For the third time this day alone.
"I hate this", Jimin huffed out as he straightens himself, letting his head rest over the seat, as he moves his left arms under his shirt, and rubbing his nauseated stomach vigorously—even adding pressure to it, hoping that it could be a trigger.
"I'm sorry you feel horrible", Yoongi sighed, looking at the bowl that's still clear. There is a slight frown etched between his brows. "Want to try water?", he suggests.
Jimin grimaces at the thought of putting something in his mouth. He already feels bloated enough as is, not having eaten anything since breakfast a couple of hours ago. "No ...", he mumbles, "I don't think i'll be able to swallow anything at all."
"Just a little sip", Yoongi insists, "You haven't drink anything today. I don't want you to get dehydrated"
Jimin huffs, "I can't be dehydrated if i haven't let out anything hyung .. but fine"
Yoongi nods, taking a few steps towards the sink to fill up the glass of cold water. As he fills it, he walks back to Jimin, handing it to the younger.
Jimin looks at it before drinking it, gulping a few sips, before putting it down onto the floor, feeling his stomach twist in protest.
Yoongi watches him with concern as Jimin wipes off the corners of his mouth with the sleeve of his sweatshirt, before pulling his hand over his mouth, and scrambles to open the lid back—as the water immediately exits his mouth.
Jimin gasps, shocked with how quickly his body reacted. He coughs—and it feels like opening a pandora box, as suddenly his stomach churned even more violently than before.
"Gosh ..", Jimin croaked out, shutting his eyes as nausea becomes more unbearable, and before Yoongi can asks what's going on—it answered with a loud retch from the younger. His muscles contracts hard under Yoongi's palm as a good amount of vomit spraying from his lips, filling the bowl in a rapid pace—like a tap being opened.
"Shit ... Jimin ..", Yoongi gapes, quickly scooting closer, and takes Jimin's hair in one swift motion. "There you go .. let it out"
Jimin 's breath comes out raggedly as he swallows harshly, trying to set the pace of his body, but it's futile. It just keeps rising and rising, until all the contents finally come out from the back of his throat in large quantities. The liquid splatters all over the toilet, some of it even got to the seat.
"Jimin-ah .. breathe ..", Yoongi mutters, as he flushes the toilet that already half full, but Jimin seems like nowhere to be done.
Jimin coughs when there's a lull, breathing heavily as sweat breaks out on his skin, and his face contorts into a grimace.
He felt awful. A headache slowly starts to build. "Hyung ..", he chokes out, shakily reaching for Yoongi's hand , holding it firmly with all his strength.
"Sshh .. i'm here ..", Yoongi hums, "Are you done?"
Jimin shakes his head, closing his eyes as another wave of nausea hits him, making it even harder to speak.
"Okay", Yoongi says softly, squeezing Jimin's sweaty hands on him.
It didn't take long, maybe a minute, when Jimin groans, prepping himself over the bowl—as his stomach once again revolts inside of him, emptying it for the second time.
Yoongi watches silently, ignoring how Jimin basically digs his nail on his hand with every heave, as the younger continues to vomits.
"Ah ..", Jimin hissed in pain when the last bit of bile made itself seen. His whole body ached, and his chest is tight as if someone is holding him down. His throat burn. His legs feel weak and tired. "That's horrible ..", he wheezes out weakly, letting his body fall slump over Yoongi's.
The older chuckles, "You threw up a lot .. but did it make you feel better?"
Jimin shrugs, his eyes closed, as he nuzzling himself further over him, not really paying much attention. "Dunno .. tired ..", he mumbles.
Yoongi chuckled slightly, "Yeah? Then let's clean up, then you can sleep"
"Mmhmm", Jimin grunts out, nodding, feeling exhausted after everything that's happened today. All his energy are gone, and he doesn't have the energy to keep fighting against the darkness that is now dragging him underneath. The nausea has subsided by a tiny bit, but he still has the feeling of a pounding headache.
The older gets him off the toilet, guiding him to the sink to rinse his mouth—and before Jimin knows it, he already tucked in bed.
"I have placed trashcan below", Yoongi says, sitting on the edge of the bed. "If you feel sick again"
Jimin gives Yoongi a thumbs up, his eyes barely focused. Exhaustion creeping up even more.
Yoongi smiles, ruffling his hair, "I will make a food"
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