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#Archie andrews insert

supercap2319 · 2 years

Text

The Prince & The Fairy Chapter 2 - Season 2

Pairing: Sky x Male Reader

Y/N put back on his shirt as he answered the door. He sniffled and tried to act natural. He opened the door to see Beatrix on the other end. She examines Y/N and smirks. “Messy hair, short breath, empty suite. Looks like clumsy vanilla sеx is on the menu this afternoon. Unless, snore, you're waiting for marriage?”

“Well, vanilla wasn’t on the menu. It’s more of a cherry popped kind of ice cream,” Y/N said. “What does Rosalind want? I assume she sent her little helper 'cause she wants something.”

“I am not Rosalind's little helper,” Beatrix said.

“Right… and I didn’t have sex with Sky at my parent’s house. So, you’re telling me she doesn't want to see me?”

“She has a message about Silva.”

Later on, Y/N is sitting with the other Winx as Stella comes down and sits down by them. “They're sending him to the Omega Dimension.”

“Hm. So Beatrix wasn’t lying,” Y/N noted.

“The frozen dimension? It’s a death sentence,” Musa said.

“First Dowling, now Silva. She could do it to my dad at any time,” Terra said.

“Sam says he's putting on a good face for Rosalind. He's not happy about it…” Musa said.

“Isn't what he did self-defense? I mean, Erendor would've killed him if he didn't fight back. Who's his lawyer?” Bloom asks.

“What do you think a courtroom drama played out? Bloom, this isn't the First World. There was a tribunal, followed by a decree from the Queen,” Stella asked.

“But if your mum made the decree, can she not unmake it?”

“Even if we were speaking, she's not in the habit of changing her mind. It's happening tomorrow. Erendor is leading the transfer.”

“Shit!” Y/N groans. “We have to do something.”

“Well, historically, letter-writing campaigns have proved very effective,” Terra said. “But they do take time.”

“I'm not so much thinking in the letter-writing campaign realm. I'm... I'm thinking about something active,” Y/N says as the girls look at him uneasily, minus Bloom.

“Felony-wise, going against Solaria is a pretty big step up from anything we got into last term,” Musa said.

“Going against Solaria is not something you get into. Even if we thought we wanted to, the Solarian Guard is brutal,” Stella said. “And they’re focused and they’re–”

“–And it’s Silva,” Y/N reminded them. “He is our only other link to Dowling. To how things used to be.”

“If we let them banish him, how long's it gonna be before they find a reason to do the same with my dad?”

“Just to be clear, we're talking, like, full jailbreak, right?” Musa says.

“Okay, obviously, we can't tell Aisha, because she will try to stop us,” Stella says.

“Yeah. Bloom already told me.” Aisha walked to them as she sat down as well.

“If there's one thing I learned last term, it's listen to Aisha, 'cause she's... she's usually right,” Bloom said.

“And for the record, I was against releasing Rosalind because it was a dumb idea. This, well, it's still a dumb idea, but at least if I plan it, it'll work.” Aisha looks at Stella. “So, care to put your magic where your mouth is?”

…..

Erendor and the other specialists are looking at a map of how they are going to lead the transfer of Saul Silva to the Omega Dimension. He points out the different places they’ll go. Sky and Riven are watching him as he talks. “It's a simple escort mission. Pick up the prisoner in Solaria, bring him to Long Shore, where he'll board a ship for Omega. The Solarian troops will do the heavy lifting,” Erendor says. Unbeknownst to the Specialists, Stella is watching them as she turns invisible. It's raining lightly outside. “We're just back up.”

Erendor looks at Sky, who is looking down at the map, an obvious frown on his face. Erendor turns and sits on the hood of the car as he turns his head towards Sky. “Will this be a problem for you? Seeing the man who raised you in chains. Watching him get shipped off to exile?”

Sky looks at him and shrugs his shoulders. “I'll manage.”

Erendor gives Sky a hard look. “Unconvincing. Next time.” Sky’s not going. His feelings for Silva will compromise their mission.

Sky frowns and gives him an incredulous look. “What? Are you serious?” Erendor doesn't give a hint that he’s not serious or joking. The young Prince scoffs and walks away. Beatrix smiles. “Dropping blondie makes sense, but I'm actually useful.”

Meanwhile, Aisha and Y/N are walking down the corridor on the second floor as they glance at the route Stella sent over. Ahead of them, they hear Musa talking to none other than Grey. “Yeah, I know. Exactly.” Grey smiles as Aisha tries to walk away from them, as Musa gets a view of them. “Aisha. Y/N.” The Water Fairy smiles tightly as she looks at them. Grey’s smile widens as he sees Aisha. “Hawk Girl.”

“Hm.”

“That reminds me, are you heading to the river tonight? Or is it free?”

“Go for it.”

“You know you're always welcome to join me if you want another show,” Grey said. “I'm gonna auditioning these new Speedos tonight. Makes my eyes pop. You too Y/N. It's quite the show.” He walks by and smiles flirty.

“I'm sure that they do,” Y/N calls behind him, as Grey laughs.

Aisha makes a face as she sighs and walks up to Musa as the Mind Fairy gives her a look. “Um, how do you guys know him?” Aisha looks from Y/N to Musa. “He's mine Sam’s, Sky’s, and Riven’s new roommate,” Y/N tells her.

“How do you know him?” Musa asks.

“I don't. He's just annoying,” Aisha says.

Musa’s eyes flash as there is a tingling sound. “Mm. I do feel annoyance. I also feel something like a tingle.” Aisha ignores her. “Stella just sent pictures of the route.”

“Maybe tingle's not the right word.”

“We should go figure out a plan.”

“I bet it's a warm, or fuzzy…” Y/N starts.

“I'll drown both of you,” Aisha warns as Y/N and Musa laugh. They all head to the Winx suite as Aisha tells them her plan of action. “The closest the caravan will get to the school is 10 km or so. Erendor’s route has him crossing the river here, but according to Terra, that bridge got burned out weeks ago.”

“The third years had a party, drunk Fire Fairy. Sam says it’s a mess, but nobody wants to tell the grown-ups,” Terra says.

“Which means that we’ll have to divert to this side road, which has more cover anyway. That's where we need to stop the caravan.”

“I can explode it,” Bloom says.

“I can ice the road,” Y/N adds.

Aisha gives the twins a look. “Yes, or I could flood the engine?”

Y/N and Bloom shrug their shoulders. “Yeah, smarter. And quieter.”

Aisha looks at Musa. “Musa'll let us know if anybody's suspicious.”

“Human mood ring reporting for duty.” Musa points to herself.

“And then it’s the Stella show. She goes invisible, grabs the key and breaks him out. Can you manage?” They look at Stella, who smirks. “Of course. I just hope I don't hurt my back from carrying basically the entire plan.” They all snicker at that. Terra gives Aisha an excited look. Like a puppy dog getting to go out for a walk.

“Yes, Terra?”

“I just think we should take a moment to appreciate this. All of us working together, despite what Rosalind's up to. The Winx suite, a team,” Terra says. “Even Stella, who'll deny she's enjoying being part of the group, enjoying being part of the group. I just want us all to remember that, no matter how bad things get out there, in here, things are good.”

“And they always will be, Ter,” Bloom said.

“I’ve always seen us more of a Winx club than a Winx suite,” Y/N tells them. They all look at him for a moment before laughing.

Sky sat at his desk in his shared bedroom with Y/N as he gazed absentmindedly out of the window. He was nursing a glass of whiskey in his hands as he took a sip. The burning sensation numbed the pain he was feeling for a split second before coming right back again.

The young Prince thought back to his conversation with his father early this morning. The truth about his apparent death. The truth about his sword. All of it. He walked to the small green couch where a sword in its sheath was leaning against. Sky grabbed the sword and removed it from its sheath as he examined the weapon. It was a silver sword with a black grip and a blue gemstone in the center of the pommel. Sky thought back to the conversation he had with Erendor about it.

Sky walked up to the older man as he crossed his arms. “I know you've been busy. But I wanted to know if we could talk.”

“Okay. All right. Let's deal with this now,” Erendor said. “Sixteen years ago, Rosalind ordered me into hiding. Everyone thought the King of Eraklyon was dead. That was useful to her. I couldn't reach out to anyone in my old life. Including my son.” Sky puts the sword back in its sheath. “It wasn't personal, Sky. It was an order.” Sky said nothing as he held up the sword. “Saul gave me this when I was little. He said it was yours. A king’s royal weapon. Thought you might want it back.” Erendor removed the sword as he balanced it in his hands and glanced down at it. He frowned, like the very thing offended him. “Well, I don't know whose unbalanced piece of shit this is..." He slams the sword into the ground. “But it's not mine.” He walks away from his son. Sky just stares at the sword on the ground.

Sky is pulled out of his thoughts as he puts the sword down as he takes another swig of whiskey. The door opens as Y/N walks in and sees his blonde Adonis boyfriend drinking. “Are… Are you drinking in the middle of the day, Blue eyes?”

Sky smiles as Y/N puts a hand on his shoulder. “Well, it’s five o’clock somewhere, right?” He says. “Wanna join? Riven, Sam, and Grey are out for the day, so the place is all ours.” He brushes his fingers underneath Y/N’s shirt as he groans just a bit. “Sky….”

“Yeah, Baby boy?” Sky teases.

Y/N begrudgingly stops Sky’s fingers from traveling any further. “I can't. I mean, I want to, but… I have to have a clear head. I have a... big afternoon.”

“Big afternoon?” Y/N looks down and then glances back up at Sky as it dawns on the Prince about what Y/N’s plans are for this afternoon. “Silva…” Sky trails off. Y/N tries to explain, but Sky interrupts him. “Actually, don't tell me.”

“Sky…”

“I... I know you well enough now to know that I can't stop you from doing what you wanna do.”

It’s silent between the two of them. “If Silva gets sent to exile, he's not coming back. Ever. He's a part of this school. We need him,” Y/N says.

“Is that really why you're doing this?” Sky looks at him. His blue eyes are shining with emotions.

“You need him, Sky,” Y/N said. “We all do.”

“It's an avalanche of shit, Y/N. If you succeed or fail, an avalanche. And he's not worth it.” Sky takes another swing. “That’s not true, and you know it.”

“Really? Then tell me what is, because lately I’ve had trouble with people telling me the truth,” Sky said. It was a low blow against Silva. For his lies and deceptions. Sky was hurting, and he had a right to be mad, but this wasn’t who he was.

“Sky… Blue Eyes… I get that Silva hurt you. He lied to you all your life about your father. He lied about his death. His intentions as King and he–”

“–And he lied about this…” He got up and showed Y/N the sword. He unsheathed the sword and handed it to Y/N. “I asked Erendor about this, and he didn't even recognize it because it's not even his sword. Silva told me when I was 6 that this was my father's sword. The one he used in battles and led armies with. It was all a fucking lie!” Sky cast the sword aside and sat down as he wept bitter tears.

Y/N’s heart broke seeing Sky so broken and defeated. He wraps his arms around him and puts his face in his hair as the young man cries, his body shaking with sobs. “Sky? Do you remember what I told you last term? About not having to be strong all the time?” Sky stopped crying as he looked at Y/N. His eyes were shiny from the salty tears. “Yeah, you said I didn’t have to be strong all the time. That I could let my walls down around you and that you wouldn’t let me crumble.”

“And I meant that,” Y/N said. “Blue Eyes, everything Silva did. He did for you so that you wouldn’t have to grow up hating your father for leaving you because of Rosalind. He wanted you to grow up to be the great King of Eraklyon that he knows you’re capable of being. Give him a second chance, please? Or at least consider it?”

Sky stared at Y/N for a long time before he sighed. “I’ll think about it.”

….

Y/N sulked as he got in the passenger seat of Ben Harvey’s car as Bloom got in the driver’s seat and Terra, Musa, and Aisha in the back. They were scrambling to get settled before leaving to intercept Silva before he’s gone forever. “Y/N? Can you move your seat forward, please?” Aisha asked.

“Yeah, hold on.”

“Your legs aren't that long,” Musa says. Aisha unwraps a granola bar. “No, can you not eat in here? My dad’s really funny about it,” Terra tells her.

“I’ll be careful, promise.”

“Music. We need music.”

“No. We need Stella,” Bloom says.

Aisha’s phone chimes. “Oh, that’s probably her.” She unlocks her phone as she sees it’s not a message from Stella, but from Grey!

Still waiting on that swim schedule. Anytime you want to send it to me. Grey.

“Grey?” Aisha frowns. “How did he…” She looks at Musa who points to Y/N. “Wait, did you give Grey my number, Y/N?” At the mention of that, Y/N sinks further into his seat. He smiles sheepishly. “Okay, don’t be mad at me.”

“Grey who?” Terra asks.

“Who's Grey?” Bloom asks.

“The Specialist that has a massive hard on for, Aisha,” Y/N said.

Aisha made a face. “Ugh… that’s disgusting!”

“Umm… Terra and I would like to weigh in if we had details,” Bloom smiles.

“Don’t we have enough going on?” Aisha says. “Now, I have to deal with this?”

“Yeah, with a guy you like texting?” Musa says.

“You like him?!”

“No!”

“Yes!”

“Never bet against a Mind Fairy,” Terra says.

“He asked me for your number. I said yes, but only after he promised his intentions with you were strictly professional,” Y/N said.

“Wait. This is the new roommate Sam was telling me about?” Terra asked. “Grey the Specialist?”

“With the abs and speedos.” Y/N smiled.

“Abs? Speedos?” Bloom chuckles.

Aisha looks like she wants to die as she sits back in her seat.

Stella is walking down the corridor as she gets texts from everyone on where she is. Before she can respond. Rosalind steps in front of her. “My office. Now.” Stella just gives her a look as she follows her to her office. Rosalind grabs a list as she reads it to the Fairy of the Shining Sun. “Thursday the 2nd, 10 a.m. Monday the 6th, 3:37 p.m. Courtyard. Wednesday the 8th, 7a.m. Canteen. Motor court on the 10th. The East Wing yesterday. The list goes on.” Rosalind said.

She walks in front and turns to Stella. “I was wondering what part of "invisibility magic is off-limits" was confusing to you?”

Stella sighed. “Can we just get to the part where you say you've called my mum, and she's on her way to punish me?”

“She's not.”

Stella scoffs. “Of course she’s not.”

“She's tired of rewarding bad behavior with attention. You used invisibility magic to run away last year, which is why she forbade it this year. She told me if you didn't listen…” She moves to her desk and pulls out a small box as Stella’s phone is ringing on silent. Rosalind opens it to reveal a magenta stone with spikes on the bottom. Stella takes an exhaled breath, sharply. “What's that?” Rosalind walks closer to her. “Take your jacket off.”

Stella scoffs in disbelief. “You’re joking?”

“I’d rather not do it for you,” Rosalind warns.

Stella takes off her pink jacket, begrudgingly as she stands there in a yellow top. Rosalind walks behind her as Stella looks at her. "This will prevent you from using that particular power. It will also keep you on school grounds.” The gem opens up like a bug as she puts on Stella’s back and sinks its tendrils inside the Princess’s skin as she screams loudly. The gem sits down fully as Stella tries to claw it out.

Meanwhile, back at the car, Bloom fastens her seat belt. “We have to go now.”

“We can’t without Stella. She is the plan,” Aisha protests.

“Something’s not right, but luckily I have a backup plan,” Y/N said.

“What backup plan?” Aisha asks.

Just then. The trunk of the car opened up as Sam got inside and smirked at everyone. “Sup?”

“Sam?” Musa questioned.

“What are you doing here?” Terra asked her brother.

Y/N smiles. “Ladies… say hello to Plan B. Or in this case, Plan S.”

#x male reader #male reader insert #male x male #sky fate the winx saga #sky winx #sky of eraklyon #danny griffin x male reader #danny griffin #fate the winx #fate the winx saga #season 2 #ice fairy #ice magic #shy male reader #archie andrews insert #sky x male reader

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justonemoregayboy · 2 years

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Facial is the best

Pairing: Archie Andrews x male reader

Series: Riverdale

Warnings: Smut

word count: 1042

Requests are open🖤

English is not my first language sorry if there are spelling mistakes enjoy Reading

“...Please, Y/n, please. Just let me, come on, just this once, please?” Archie gasps above him, stroking his cock in quick, ravenous strokes as Y/n watches, already exhausted from his own orgasm.

This isn't the first time Y/n has heard the other guy beg him, it's not the first time Archie has begged him to let him cum on his face, but it's the first time he's wondered why Archie seems so hungry for it in instead of just saying no point-blank. It looks so unhygienic, not to mention disgusting, and Y/n can't figure out what makes Archie so willing to beg for it.

Archie never begs.

"Why do you want it?" Y/n finds himself asking, eyebrows raised lazily as he watches Archie more or less sob in delight above him. His hands are slowly stroking Archie's muscled thighs where they straddle his waist, but his eyes are focused on his boyfriend's face, watching as Archie's mouth drops open on another moan as he fucks his own fist. .

"Guh-fuck-it would look so good in it-covered in it," Archie gasps hoarsely, clenching his fist around the base of his cock to keep from coming as he thinks about it. “Fuck, you'd be so pretty, just using my cum. Looking so beautiful, looking like mine. I want to make you mine, can I? please y/n? Can I make you mine? Please pretty pretty Y/n please can I make you mine? I want I want-"

And fuck, if he's not making Y/n stupid with arousal listening to Archie beg like that. Hearing him wanting to claim Y/N like that… he's making his spent cock tingle with the need to harden again, even if it's only been a few minutes since he gushed down Archie's throat.

Why had he been so stupid and he hadn't asked his boyfriend why earlier? Why had he spent weeks telling his boyfriend no when the reason Archie wanted him in the first place was so devastating?

"Yes?" Y/n gives Archie a tired smile. “Do you want to make me yours? Do you want to mark me? Let everyone know that I'm yours?

"Fuck y/n, yes please, fuck yes please!" Archie curses above him, hips stuttering forward through his clenched fist. "Please, I want, can I?"

It's not even a question on his mind anymore, Y/n just wants it to happen yesterday as he listens to Archie spit every pleading word out of his mouth. The thought that just minutes before sounded positively unpleasant now sounds promising.

"Yeah, yeah, let's go," Y/n agrees, reaching out to cup Archie's butt and urging him forward, closer.

"-In fact?" Archie with his pants off, puzzled. His eyes widen and stare at him, his hips stopped where he had been furiously fucked through his own fist before. You will leave me? Can I- just- really?

"Yeah, come on," Y/n encourages, trying to drag him closer with he hands, "come on my face, come on, do it."

At first, Archie just stared at him for a moment, not believing what he was hearing, but then he just lunged forward, smashing his lips against Y/n's desperately. Y/n doesn't even have time to recover from the shock attack before Archie backs away again, crawling forward and once again stroking each other, only this time much closer to Y/n and with his penis pointing towards the swollen kiss. of T/n. His lips instead of he own muscular stomach.

"Mpfh," Archie groans as his hand flies over his cock, needing to squeeze his eyes shut so he doesn't die from how good it feels, how beautiful Y/n is beneath him. "I'm going to paint you so beautifully, I'm going to make you look so pretty, I'm going to..." And then he comes; thick streams of cum shoot all over y/n's beautiful face.

Y/n can feel the first string land on his cheek before he can squeeze his eyes shut, and just in time too, because right after he can feel something hit his closed eyelid, and he winces from how dirty everything is.

When Archie finally drops his shrinking penis from his hand, when he finally opens his eyes again, he can't help but catch his breath for a moment.

Y/n is absolutely awesome.

He has been fucking everywhere; over both of his cheeks, covering his nose, his chin, his forehead – he's cum hanging off his damn lashes, and it's cum all over his beautiful red-bitten lips. Archie can't help but moan as he sees how Y/n licks his bottom lip to pick up the thick liquid, he can't help but catch the boy in a dirty wet kiss as he watches him swallow.

Taking Y/n's jaws in his hands, Archie couldn't help but play with the cum on his boyfriend's cheeks with his thumbs, simply smearing it all over the pink skin before licking it all off.

Y/n flinches when he feels a tongue on his face, and groans when Archie kisses him again, sharing the salty cum on his tongue with an overeager Y/n. Burying his fingers in Archie's hair, Y/n lifts his hips into empty air, coming back from the sheer filth around him.

"Did you just-?" Archie asks, and Y/n nods, exhausted. Archie smiles. "Fucking amazing."

Y/n just rolls his eyes before weakly pushing his boyfriend away, snuggling up close to the big football player.

"Does this mean I can do that again?" Archie asks smugly, his hands running over Y/n's sensitive sides.

"It means you should get me a wipe," Y/n replies, tired. He is more than ready for a nap. "I feel ridiculously dirty." There was sweat, semen, and other fluid caked all over him, but since Y/n doubts he can stay awake for an entire shower, a washcloth will have to suffice.

“You're ridiculously dirty and amazing,” Archie smirks, but dutifully goes in search of said wipe.

Y/n hums as Archie cleans it up, hands catching the bigger boy as he throws the rag over his shoulder, and sighs as he sinks against Archie's body.

"But yeah," Y/n says a few minutes later, when he's almost asleep. "We are definitely exploring this again."

He can feel Archie moving his arm to his side, but he's already asleep before he can reprimand him.

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dangerousstrawberryshark · 2 years

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You'll Never Be Alone

Pairings: Archie Andrews x male reader

Summary: It started with him protecting you but changed as time passed. He now harbors feelings for you.

WARNINGS: F slurs. homophobia, and bullying. MAJOR: ⚠ Sexual Assault ⚠

(Hello, my little strawberries! I'm back after a long time! I'll be posting more requests like this. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy this. The Headcanon format is from @marilynmonroefanfics. And I wanna thank everyone on my discord server!)

You didn't understand why you were treated like this. Why were you subjugated to this abuse?

Every day at school was hell. The ones that tormented you the most were the bulldogs, Riverdale's football team.

They would tease and mock. Verbal, but that changed when news of you being gay was exposed.

The Bullying went from verbal to physical. They would give you regular beatings every day.

"Well, look at what we have here. It's the little faggot. I bet you wanna suck my fucking cock." One of them said as he punched you right in the stomach. Pain shooting through you.

"Bet the faggot wants us to fuck his ass," Reggie said, getting his own kicks in. You were left on the ground in pain as the bulldogs left. Leaving you and Moose alone.

(SEXUAL ASSAULT AHEAD! SKIP THIS PART IF YOU WANT!)

"It's just us now, faggot." Moose said, picking you up and slamming you against the wall.

"God, your body turns me." Moose groans as he grinds his erect cock against your thighs. "This ass and thighs."

Moose latches his dirty mouth onto your neck. "How about you be my cumdump?" you cried harder as he continued.

(IT ENDS HERE!)

Suddenly, you felt Moose get thrown followed by a loud thud. You looked to see a redheaded boy beating the shit out of him.

You stayed in your position, shocked before you felt someone pick up and carry you away.

He was wearing the Riverdale football team jacket, meaning he was a bulldog, but he wasn't like the others. His voice took you out of your mind.

"Hey, are you okay? Any injuries?" The boy said as he looked over your body. Only seeing some bruises and marks.

The redheaded boy really cared about you. He wasn't like the other bulldogs. He didn't insult nor place his hands on you. Only to take you away to safety.

He kept talking to you, asking if you were hurt in any way. You responded with a no. He then introduced himself.

"If you say so... but anyway, my name is Archie. Archie Andrews," he said, smiling at you. There was no malicious intent.

"I'm... m/n," you replied.

After that day, Archie would always be by your side. The other bulldogs did little to no harm. Archie became your bodyguard and friend.

You never realized how many classes you had with him or how you both shared the same interests. Everything was becoming better, but you may have developed a crush on your new friend.

The more time Archie spends with you, the more his crush grows. Being around you made him feel comfortable and happy.

He would dream of marrying and sleeping with you.

It was now or never. You told Archie to meet you after school/practice.

"So, you wanted to speak with me?" Archie said, sitting down beside you on the bed.

"Yes, I wanted to say that..."

You started to freeze. Your brain was in panicking and telling you to back down, but your heart was saying to go with it.

"Archie, I like you! It's okay if you don't feel the same way. I-" Suddenly, you felt a soft pair of lips press against yours. Archie's hands pulled you closer.

You melted into the kiss. Forgetting everything around you as you wrapped your arms around his neck. Archie pulled back, breathing heavily.

"M/n... I like you- no, I love you! I wanted to confess first, but it looks like you beat me to it." Archie chuckled. Tears roll down your face. Tears of joy.

"M/n. Do I have the honor of being your boyfriend?"

"Yes! Of course!" you replied. Crying into his chest. He lifted your head and kissed you again.

You both then laid down together. Archie's ching resting on your head with you buried in his chest.

THE END!

(I hope you all enjoy this! I have a goal of completing 5 to 10 fics before the new year. Goodbye, my little strawberries!)

TAGLIST: @spnfanboy777 @meyocoko @sluttyhusband @zamfam4272 @ghostking4m

#male reader #x male reader #male reader imagine #male reader insert #archie andrews #archie andrews x male reader #riverdale fandom #riverdale x male reader #archie andrews x reader #archie andrews x male reader imagine #archie andrews x reader imagine

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itsnotyouithink · 2 years

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HALLOWEEN ROMANCE

pairing: fem!reader x cheryl blossom

summary: reader goes to a halloween party and her crush on cheryl blossom continues.

warnings: smoking, underage drinking, parental abuse

a/n: happy halloween to all who celebrate & please be careful tonight!!

not my gif!

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Riverdale has spooky Halloweens. It may be from the haunting spirits that walk the streets and get a booth in Pop’s Diner on the daily, or just because it’s Riverdale — and Riverdale is spooky. The Devil’s holiday was a year long thing in the town. Everyday felt like Halloween for civilians of the small town. You felt like your life was the holiday on repeat — you were just dressing as yourself with a fake mask.

You felt like Halloween wasn’t much of a big deal. The only thing you truly liked about it was the dressing up. The iconic Mean Girls quote bounced off the walls of your brain when you argued with your brother as you two got out of the car, “In Girl World, Halloween is the one day a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girls can say anything else about it.” You quoted to yourself and your brother beside you who rolled his eyes.

Your brother, Sweetpea, had been ranting about how you dressed too sexy and exposed, afraid some guy was going to try to make a pass at you. You were dressed as Lola Bunny from Looney Tunes, a character you had admired since you heard about her. The costume was more exposed than you generally dressed from day-to-day. Short shorts, a crop top that was basically a sports bra and bunny ears. “Come on, Sweets! Stop being like this, you know I never dress like this.”

“So why are you starting now?” He squinted his eyes at you. You know his argument was coming from a place of kindness and being the protective brother he was, but it was still annoying.

“Just give me a break, please?” You huffed, “By tomorrow, I’ll be back in my cute little Betty Cooper dress with a Serpent jacket, don’t you worry.” You rolled your eyes and poked the sides of your brooding brother who just rolled his eyes once more.

Then a thought popped into his small mind.

“You’re dressed like that for Cheryl Blossom.” He snapped his fingers in front of your face. The two of you were walking down the crowed driveway of Thistlehouse. It was the night of Halloween, and Cheryl Blossom had decided to throw a Halloween bash.

“I’m not.”

“You so are.”

“No I am not!”

“You’re blushing and everything!” He laughed and pointed at your blushing cheeks at the thought of your crush on the schools most popular girl. You have had a crush on Cheryl since the closing of Southside High and the enrollment to Riverdale High. You were expected to hate her because you were a Serpent, but you couldn’t help but be completely drawn in by her.

You never said anything about liking her to her ever, especially once she started dating Toni Topaz — one of your old kindergarten best friends. Your friendship had died out even if she was best friends with your brother and mutual friends.

The two of you got to the front door before inviting yourselves in, quickly seeing your close circle of friends by the corner.

“Y/N! Look at you!” Kevin whistled as the duo got closer. You blushed as your friends complimented you each, Veronica squeezing your arm, “Damn, you look hot!”

Archie rolled his eyes before taking Veronica by her hips and back into his chest, “Yeah, Y/N you look good. Great costume.” Him and Veronica dressed as Hercules and Megara.

“Thanks, Arch.”

“You look amazing, Y/N/N. I see you’re getting out your comfort zone.” Betty commented playfully as she took a sip from her red cup. You lightly chuckled before noticing her outfit as well, her and Jughead dressed as Sandy in the latex suit and Danny Zuko from Grease, “I could say the same to you, Betts. I see you’re in the last musical number of Grease.”

“Don’t I just look positively dashing in my costume?” Jughead sarcastically said, pushing out jazz hands towards you, referring to his Serpent leather jacket and sloppily slicked back hair. You rolled your eyes before taking the drink Sweetpea handed towards you, “Sure, Jug. Sure.”

After that, the group fell into light conversation that was filled with laughs and jokes. “I see Choni is back together.” Veronica commented, taking a sip of her alcohol as she eyed the ex-couple.

“What?” You furrowed your brows before glancing towards Sweetpea and looking behind you at the sight. You knew you never had an actual shot with Cheryl, but the fact she wasn’t dating Toni anymore helped the hope that filled in your chest that maybe, just maybe, she would like you back.

You felt like you couldn’t compete with a girl like Toni Topaz, who was perfect in every way.

Cheryl and Toni had a couples costume. The redhead was Poison Ivy while Toni was Harley Quinn. They looked perfect.

And yet.

You sighed and turned back around with a shrug, “They’re Choni, how could they not?”

No one else knew about your crush on Cheryl besides Sweetpea. It was stupid for you to tell him because he constantly made jokes about it and teased you til the sun rose. You expected him to hate you for it, but it was the opposite. He hadn’t seen you so head-over-heels for someone since your ex-girlfriend from Southside High, who thankfully got transferred to Seaside High. That relationship was the definition of a heartbreak mess.

“Have you guys seen what Ethel is wearing?” And just like that, the topic was dropped.

—

After you danced with Veronica and your friends a few times, you went outside to get fresh air and away from the sweaty bodies and atmosphere that surrounded you. You found a door by the dining table that lead to the quiet outside porch. When you slid the door open, Cheryl Blossom was leaning against the wooden railing with a cigarette between her fingers and a face of confusion.

You thought about going inside but as soon as you turned, she spoke to you. “You can join me, if you want. I don’t bite.” She took another hit from her cigarette before her arm hung over the side of the railing lazily, she blew the smoke with a soft cloud.

“I didn’t take you as a smoker.”

She shrugged, “Daddy smoked all the time before he died. So did Jason.” she cleared her throat, looking off to the dark, midnight distance, “I don’t usually smoke.”

You nodded before taking your spot beside her, your forearms leaning against the wooden banister like she was. She held the cigarette in front of you, offering it to you. You took it before placing it in your lips — you felt her watching you. “I didn’t take the golden girl of the Southside as a smoker either.”

You blew the smoke from your lips easily, “I grew up in a biker gang, what did you expect?” The two of you lightly giggled before you shook your head, “I actually got smoking from my father too. He does it everyday, all the time. Our trailer, clothes, furniture — all of it, smells like his cigarettes. They’re so normal that you even get burned with them.”

The redhead rose her eyebrows before glancing towards you, who now looked into the midnight distance. You glanced at her, her brown eyes melting into your own. “I tend to overshare.” You airily chuckled before passing the cigarette back to the redhead.

“According to Toni, I don’t share enough.” She quietly scoffed. You smiled towards the redhead with a smirk, “Aw, trouble in paradise?”

She rolled her eyes at you, “Shut up.”

“I was just joking, Cheryl.” You laughed at the small pout on her lips. “If you, like, need to talk .. I’m here.”

She looked over at you and sighed, a few beats of silence, “I broke up with her because I was attracted to someone else and I couldn’t disrespect Toni with having feelings for her and someone else. And .. we didn’t plan on going as Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn together it just . . . happened.”

You couldn’t lie and say your heart didn’t sing at the fact she was indeed single and she had a crush on someone that could be you. “What’s the problem besides an accidental couples costume.”

“I’m not sure the girl I like, likes me back.” She looked at you with masked hopeful eyes. She wanted some type of clue to see if you liked her back, but you kept up tall, guarded walls around you when it came to romance and relationships. There was a rumor you had a thing for Veronica, but that was quickly denied. But even after that, the towns most strategic and sneakiest gossips couldn’t get to the bottom of who the golden girl from the Southside wanted to truly date and fall in love with.

You glanced at her with a shrug, “Tell her you like her. If she doesn’t, then she’s simply a fool.” You left it at that and walked back inside where you felt like you took your first true deep breath.

“Y/N! Where were you? We should dance!” Veronica took your hand and tried guiding you into the pool of sweaty, drunk high schoolers but you were pulled away by your other hand and pushed into someone.

You were pulled into Cheryl’s chest, you hands on the side of her shoulders to catch yourself.

The next thing you knew, she had her hand on your cheek, a hand on your waist and her lips on yours. It was warm, and gentle, a kiss you had been dreaming and imagining about since the middle of sophomore year. “Are you a fool, Y/N?” She mumbled when the two of you pulled away.

You cheeks were red, your pupils were dilated and your skin burned with her touch. “I suppose not, Blossom.” The two of you smiled before she kissed you again, and again, and again.

The entire night was filled with dancing, Cheryl Blossom with her hands on your waist as you refilled your cup of alcohol, and the never ending teasing of your friends.

Maybe Halloween wasn’t as terrible as you thought it would be.

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statticscribbles · 1 year

Text

Monsterous Pt 2

Giveaway: Multi-chapter; Supernatural AU, Sweet Pea/Reader/Reggie

Chapter 2/6

@moodtomyboards-main

Support My Writing?

Everyone goes through changes; the adults refer to it as a second puberty but no one is really sure what that means. Until Jughead shows up to school with extra fur and wolf ears and a tail and everyone doesn’t know what to say. They wait for it to go away; but all that happens is during fifth period instead of Jughead he’s just a massive wolf; struggling to figure out how he’s going to carry his backpack and his ruined clothes. Then there’s the panic about when he changes back in the middle of lunch; completely nude. Everyone waits for someone else to transform into a wolf.

Instead Betty screams and they pull Jason from the river. She’s shaking nad throwing up and there’s blood dripping from her eyes and mouth and she wants to keep screaming but she just claws at her throat until she throws up more water. Until they pull Jason’s body and water drains out of him just like she was throwing up. Until Jason walks back into class like nothing happened and he doesn’t bleed from the bullet wound in his head. That Betty watches him; terrified to talk to him in case she screams again; in case he dies again.

Until Reggie Mantle howls and screams as his bones break; a rarity; a werewolf from the northside.

Reggie Mantle is a werewolf and everyone waits for him to change; to rip into one of the southsiders and try to overtake their pack. When he doesn’t they joke about him being a lapdog; being harmless; not having any sort of bite to go behind his bark. That seems to suit him just fine. No one really bothers him; and he knows it’s because his fangs never seem to dull; he always has a slightly too aware look in his eyes

Until Sweet Pea attacks Moose; eyes black with hunger and Veronica pulls him off; her smile as deadly as her voice, coaxing him to sit; that she can find him blood. He’s messy with his first feed; the blood bag spilling half on his clothes; he’s unlucky. His first feed was human blood; he’ll always cave it. It means Dr. Curdle has to supply him.

A southside vampire and a northside werewolf are both dangerous for very different reasons.

Everyone learns to live with it. It becomes part of living in Riverdale; you don’t speak of the curse. Not that they can’t just that for the most part it’s useless; they can spend hours discussing it only to wake up as if they were dreaming. Or they speak of it. Laughing, joking, wanting to trade types. Betty makes jokes about it being easier if she was a werewolf; the southsiders don’t like the idea of a banshee near them; not with how deadly their jobs are. Sweet Pea agrees; it would be easier to be a werewolf; he doesn’t mind the blood he gets from Dr. Curdle; but he misses so many of the inside jokes; so much of the pack bonding despite how often the other Serpents include him. While he wasn’t bitten to change; he gets his Serpent tattoo on his neck; to hide the lack of bite marks.

Everyone accepts it. It becomes part of the regular ups and downs of riverdale. The adults keep them safe; they bring in humans, victims when the younger ones need; as leaving the town may risk exposure. None of the people they bring in are ever looked for; are ever missed.

Everything is normal.

Until your family moves in; unaware about the monstrous secret that runs through the town's veins.

Support My Writing?

#sweet pea #sweet pea imagine #reggie mantle #reggie mantle imagine #reggie mantle x reader #sweet pea x reader #sweet pea reader insert #reggie mantle reader insert #riverdale #riverdale imagine #riverdale request #riverdale headcanon #riverdale reader insert #jughead jones #betty cooper #veronica lodge #archie andrews #written #stattic

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t-marveland · 2 years

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RIVERDALE MASTERLIST

Main masterlist

GIF IMAGINES

Archie Andrews :

Il te surprend à chanter

Tu te disputes avec ton petit-ami

...

Sweet Pea :

Tu es plus forte que lui

Tu es nouvelle au lycée

Jughead Jones :

Tu lui annonces ton couple

Tu es de retour

Tu es punie mais il vient quand-même

#riverdale #x reader #reader insert #gif imagine #betty cooper #veronica lodge #archie andrews #jughead jones #masterlist

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fandom-oneshots-etc · 1 year

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Requests are OPEN🎉

Dear All,

Requests are now OPEN! Please feel free to send in your requests. I have listed the characters that I write for below the ‘keep reading’ line. A few things to remember:

I do NOT write ships like Buddie etc. I only write Reader-Inserts.

I only write for characters mentioned in the list as well as any that have been added under the Additional Characters sections on my Masterlist.

I have not yet written SMUT fics, but I am not opposed to doing so.

I do not currently have an uploading schedule, but I will try to get any requests done ASAP.

That’s all there is to say, so feel free to request!

Thanks,

Emily xoxo

Complete Character Masterlist

9-1-1

Eddie Diaz

Evan Buckley

9-1-1 LONE STAR

Carlos Reyes

Judd Ryder

TK Strand

AVENGERS

Bucky Barnes

Loki Laufeyson

Peter Parker

Steve Rogers

Thor Odinson

Tony Stark

BRASSIC

Vinnie O'Neil

CASTLE

Javier Esposito

Kevin Ryan

Richard Castle

CHICAGO FIRE

Kelly Severide

Matt Casey

CHICAGO PD

Antonio Dawson

Jay Halstead

CHRONICLES OF NARNIA

Edmund Pevensie

Peter Pevensie

Prince Caspian

CRIMINAL MINDS

Aaron Hotchner

Derek Morgan

Spencer Reid

FATE THE WINX SAGA

Riven

Sky

FRIENDS

Joey Tribbiani

HARRY POTTER

Draco Malfoy

Fred Weasley

George Weasley

Harry Potter

Ron Weasley

James Potter

Remus Lupin

Sirius Black

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL

Troy Bolton

LETHAL WEAPON

Martin Riggs

OUTERBANKS

JJ Maybank

John B. Routledge

Rafe Cameron

Topper Thornton

RIVERDALE

Archie Andrews

FP Jones

Jughead Jones

Reggie Mantle

Sweet Pea

RIZZOLI & ISLES

Frankie Rizzoli

SHAMELESS

Carl Gallagher

Kevin Ball

Lip Gallagher

SHERLOCK

Mycroft Holmes

Sherlock Holmes

SONS OF ANARCHY

Chibs Telford

Happy Lowman

Jax Teller

Juice Ortiz

Opie Winston

Tig Trager

SUPERNATURAL

Castiel

Crowley

Dean Winchester

Sam Winchester

TEEN WOLF

Derek Hale

Stiles Stilinski

THE ORIGINALS

Elijah Mikaelson

Klaus Mikaelson

Kol Mikaelson

THE VAMPIRE DIARIES

Damon Salvatore

Jeremy Gilbert

Matt Donovan

Stefan Salvatore

Tyler Lockwood

TWILIGHT

Carlisle Cullen

Edward Cullen

Emmett Cullen

Jacob Black

Jasper Hale

Paul Lahote

Seth Clearwater

YOUTUBERS

Colby Brock

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fadeintoyou1993 · 11 months

Text

kevin keller was a RAS self insert all along and it all led up to this moment in season 7 where kevin and his boyfriend clay write a musical about gay archie andrews and endgame beronica

#txt #kevin yelling WE COULD HAVE PULLED IT OFF IF YALL TRUSTED THE VISION..... i was like I TRUSTED RAS I D8ID!!!!!!! maybe not for beronica...BU #T OVERALLL THE SHOW I DID I TRUSTGEDYOYU!!!!!!!

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supercap2319 · 2 years

Text

The Prince and The Fairy Chapter 15

Pairing: Sky x Male Reader

A/N: “Hey, guys what’s up. This is the last chapter for this story which is so crazy because it was my first story that I ever published on here. It’s kind of bittersweet. Thanks for the love and support. You guys are awesome.

Y/N tried not to walk with a limp as he, Sky, Bloom, and the others returned to Alfea. After a morning breakfast full of smiles and laughter, the six Faires and Specialist returned to the Otherworld with hopes for a bright future now that everything was over, or so they thought. If they had known how much Alfea was going to change, then they probably should have stayed in the First World. It would have been easier.

Y/N and his friends strolled up to the driveway of Alfea like he had on that first day by himself so many weeks ago. Before it had been foreign to him to see what looked like a castle, straight out of a storybook, but now without hesitation, Y/N could call this place home. He smiled at the thought. They passed through the gates of Alfea as all talk and laughter ceased, amid the dust and ruin of Alfea.

Before them stood three figures that radiated power in front of an army of Solarian soldiers. The one on the far left was a woman who wore a pink coat and had dark brown hair. She carried herself with the poise and composure of a queen. It was Stella’s mother, Queen Luna. The woman who thought it was better to be feared, than liked by her loyal subjects.

The other was a man Y/N had only seen in pictures, a man with his boyfriend’s face. It was Sky’s supposed to be dead father, king Erendor of Eraklyon. He was dressed in Specialist’s battle armor, his arms across his broad chest.

In the center of them as if she owned the place, smiling her sweet serpent devil smile, was the woman that Y/N and Bloom had freed.

“Welcome back, kids,” Rosalind said. “There’s been a few changes.” Terra and Aisha looked at each other as did Musa and Stella. A look of pure perplexion on their faces. Sam swallowed nervously as Y/N and Bloom glared at Rosalind.

“Dad…” Sky’s shaky voice cut through the uneasiness of the situation. He looked as white as a ghost and Y/N couldn’t blame him. To see his father who he thought was dead since he was six, now alive and well. King Erendor smiled. The same smile as Sky’s, but it was more cold and malicious. Sky’s was warm and friendly.

“Hello, Sky,” King Erendor said.

“W-what sort of changes?" Bloom asked.

"Oh, nothing to concern yourselves with, dear Bloom. Y/N,” said Rosalind. “For starters , I am now Headmistress of Alfea again."

“No, that’s not right. Ms. Dowling is Headmistress of this school,” Y/N said. His blood ran cold and for a moment, he actually felt chilly.

“Not anymore, boy,” King Erendor’s gravelly voice told him.

“Don’t call me, ‘boy,’ Y/N spat.

��With the Burned One threat still at large, I thought it seemed fit to grant Ms. Dowling a …let's just say she's taking a well-earned holiday. And I reinstated Rosalind as Headmistress and Erendor as Specialist Headmaster,” Queen Luna smiled.

“Where’s, Silva?” Sky asked.

“Facing justice for his crimes against his king.”

“Crimes? You tried to kill him first!” Y/N protested.

“You should learn some manners, boy,” King Erendor said with a disappointed voice.

Stella pushed forward, with more confidence than Y/N had ever seen from her before. “Alright, this isn't funny, Mother!” She said irately. “You do realize you're standing with a pair of murderers?”

“Oh, Stella,” said a disappointed Queen Luna as she flexed her fingers and her eyes glowed. “You truly need to learn to speak only when spoken to.” Y/N frown as he saw the look on Stella’s face change from confusion, to absolute terror. She screamed as she flailed her arms wildly as she sank to her knees as she began to whimper.

“What are you doing to her!” Musa asked as she flinched slightly as her eyes glowed purple at the sight of Stella. She could feel her fear.

“Lessons in obedience,” Queen Luna said.

“Well, you'd better stop it right now!” said Terra as she and Aisha, and Sam stood with Musa, all fours' eyes glowing as they prepared to defend their friend.

“Oh, please,” Rosalind said as her eyes glowed as Terra screamed as her back was bent backwards and Aisha’s was bent forward. Musa’s arms twisted painfully as Sam’s legs were twisted as well as he fell underneath his weight.

“Breaking bones is a trick I haven’t used in a very long time,” Rosalind said. “I forgot how good it feels.”

“Let them go, Rosalind!” Bloom shouted out.

“Right now!” Y/N and Bloom’s eyes glowed as fire and ice licked up their bodies as a pair of ice and fire wings emerged from their backs.

“Do you really think that you can hurt me?” Rosalind mocked.

“Let’s find out.” Y/N summoned floating ice spikes into the air as Bloom created a giant flame in the shape of a dragon.

“You’re not going to submit, are you?”

“Never!”

“Well, I’ll just give you a reason too.” Rosalind’s eyes glowed once again and before Y/N or Bloom could say or do anything, Sky gasped loudly as he held his throat with his hand.

Y/N turned to his boyfriend in concern. “Sky? Blue Eyes?”

Sky wheezed as he fell to the floor as Y/N gasped in shock. “What are you doing to him?!”

“Rosalind, you’re hurting my son!” King Erendor said.

“Relax, Erendor. Y/N’s not going to let anybody hurt his boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend! Sky?”

“Yup. You’re son’s in love with a changeling,” Rosalind said.

Y/N fell to his knees as he held Sky’s body close to his own. He couldn’t breathe. Rosalind was choking the life out of him. He turned to Rosalind and the others, his eyes glowing a dangerous bright blue as the air around him was cold enough to see his breath. “You hurt him and I’ll kill you!! I swear to God!”

“Go on then, Y/N. Do it,” Queen Luna taunted.

“Try it, Y/N and see who's faster; your Ice Serpent or my will,” Rosalind said.

“She's faster, Y/N," said King Erendor. “I’ve seen her in action. You won’t win.”

“Stop this, Rosalind. Before I freeze this school and everyone in it!” It wasn’t just a threat. It was a warning. Slowly, Y/N felt his powers slipping from his control. Like they had when he first came to Alfea, or that night he had activated them. A patch of ice started to form all around them as it grew and expanded towards the woods and towards the school.

Bloom looked at how her brother’s magic was slowly spiraling out of control. She had to do something. She had to help him. She sent her fire dragon at Rosalind and for a moment; Bloom thought it would hit its target. Instead, the older woman held up a hand as a shield encased her and her colleagues as the attack slammed into it, but never broke through it.

Once the fire had disappeared, Rosalind smiled widely. “Kudos for an impressive attack, Bloom, but you and Y/N aren’t powerful enough to stop me. It’s in yours and your friends best interest to give up.”

“Why should we believe you?” Bloom asked.

“Because you both trusted me before,” Rosalind said. “Plus if you don’t you can say goodbye to Sky and the others.”

Bloom found herself locked by indecision. There was no telling how much damage Rosalind and Luna would inflict on her friends. Nor could Bloom anticipate what Rosalind would do if they were to give up. She locked eyes with Y/N, and already knew the decision he would make. If it meant saving Sky. Saving the others, he would submit to Rosalind’s wishes. No matter how awful.

“Alright, let them go. We’ll do as you say,” Y/N called off his magic as his wings and ice disappeared. Bloom called back her wings as well as her eyes returned to normal.

“There. That’s better.” Rosalind’s eyes glowed as she released her hold on all of Y/N and Bloom’s friends. They gasped with relief as they fell to the floor, minus Sam, who was already on the floor. Sky coughed hard as Y/N cradled him in his arms, a few tears in his eyes. “I’m so sorry…”

“You can stop now, Luna,” said Rosalind. “I think they’ve learned their lesson.”

Queen Luna frowned. “Speak for yourself, Rosa. My daughter still needs to be disciplined.”

“Still harsh will corporal punishment huh, Luna?” King Erendor said.

“You know as well as I that some lessons have to be taught the hard way,” Queen Luna said, letting Stella go of her magical hold.

“That’s true.” The king of Eraklyon turned to his fallen son. “The same will go for Sky as well. I have much to catch up on with him.”

“I’m sure Beatrix will be thrilled about a family reunion,” Rosalind said.

“What are you talking about?” Sky asked as he rose unsteady to his feet.

“Beatrix is your sister. Your half sister.”

“What?!” Sky asked.

“That’s only the beginning of changes I have planned for this school and for you my dear, Y/N. Bloom.”

“What plans?” Bloom asked her.

“The Burned Ones are nothing compared to the threat that’s coming here. Coming to destroy the Otherworld,” Rosalind said.

“Why should we believe anything that you say?” Y/N asked her.

“Because, believe it or not, I am not your enemy; I merely want to help you and Bloom realize your full potential and fulfill your destiny."

“I already know my destiny, and it doesn’t include you,” Y/N said.

Rosalind smiled. “Well, that’s a shame. Because whatever’s coming here, you’re going to need my help if you want to protect Sky. Because that’s what you want more than anything, right?”

Y/N frowned. Rosalind knew how to push his buttons. How to get him to cooperate. He didn’t want to be under Rosalind’s rule, but if there was something out there truly more dangerous than the Burned Ones, then Y/N would do whatever it takes to keep those he loves safe. Even if it means working with this evil bitch.

The Ice Fairy sighed. He grabbed Sky’s hand in comfort as he asked: “So… this plan of yours. What is it?”

Rosalind smiled once again. “I’m glad you asked.”

#x male reader #male reader insert #male x male #sky fate the winx saga #fate the winx #winx specialists #sky winx #sky of eraklyon #danny griffin x male reader #danny griffin #ice fairy #archie andrews insert #sky x male reader

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mattey-stu · 10 months

Text

THIS MASTERLIST DOESNT MATTER ANYMORE.I HAVE MADE ANOTHER ONE.PLEASE CHECK THAT ONE ON THE TOP OF MY BLOG.

MASTERLIST:

FOR DISCLAMIER: I ONLY WRITE X MALE!READER.

AND I MIGHT WRITE SHIPS TOO.

THIS WILL BE UPDATED

RIVERDALE

FP Jones

none yet

Jughead Jones

None yet

Archie Andrews

None yet

SCREAM:

Stu Macher:

Stu Macher x Billy Loomis x Male!reader headcanons Poly!Ghostface

Billy Loomis:

The confession

Stu Macher x Billy Loomis x Male!reader headcanons Poly!Ghostface

Mickey Altieri:

None yet

Randy Meeks:

None yet

Charlie Walker:

None yet

Ethan fucking Laundry Basket (Ethan Landry):

None yet

Roman Bridger:

The Soundtrack: Roman Bridger x male!reader

SLC PUNK! :

Steve 'Stevo' Levy:

The party

Her0in Bob:

None yet

SENSELESS:

Tim Laflour:

None yet

Five Nights At Freddys:

Michael Afton/Schmidt:

None yet

Steve Raglan/William Afton:

None yet

ANIMAL ROOM:

Doug Van Housen:

None yet

DIARY OF A WIMPY KID:

Rodrick Heffley:

None yet

SAW:

Adam Stanheight:

None yet

Daniel Matthews:

None yet

Mark Hoffman:

None yet

Lawrence Gordon

None yet

Peter Strahm:

None yet

INSIDIOUS:

Steven 'Specs' Fisher:

None yet

FIGHT CLUB:

-I cant put any more gifs in here so uh *insert gif* -

Tyler Durden:

None yet

The 'Jack' Narrator:

None yet

Thank you for reading!

Ill age up all the characters when im writing smut.

Bros got that ass fr

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keepwonderingwoman · 10 months

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in light of all my bunkerposting i just thought of something really interesting. there’s a lot of talk always about how the town requires it’s residents to stay within city limits and when they try to leave they get acted upon by horrible things to make them return. and i personally, me, i LOVE thé alive town. alive town i love youuu 😘😘 but if you wanna make another leap, another little hop skip and jump, i give you narrator jughead and the case of coraline’s riverdale.

okay so we all love to dream about the town being alive, as in riverdale being alive, but at the crux of it all it is alive partially because it is powered by a real human being - narrator jughead - down in the BUNKER where he’s churning out story after story to keep the town + and his friends alive. interestingly, at the end of their highschool journeys (spiritually the end of s4 but was the start of s5) jughead first squats in the andrews’ house, and then in the bunker, until he leaves for iowa. he then ends up in NYC, writes his debut novel, and runs out of material almost immediately.

now, bear with me. canonically, jughead considers himself a narrator in all situations. the final scenes of s1 e2 have him say “it may have looked like there were four people in that booth tonight, but i was there, and i can tell you, there were only three. a blonde girl, a raven-haired girl, and the luckiest red-headed boy in the world.” we know for a fact that jughead was there. we know that jughead narrated all of riverdale, and that he was there to bear witness and write it all down later. but i present to you this: what if he was a narrator for the first four (+3 eps of s5) seasons, and then he assumed the position of author instead?

at the end of high school, once everyone has left, jughead is alone in the bunker. everyone else is off to college, cheryl has sequestered herself in thornhill, and all the parents — at least the ones that would care about jughead disappearing, (fp, fred, mary) have all left too. jughead tells us that at the end of summer, he leaves the bunker to go to iowa. but we only know this because HE said so. no one acknowledged his leaving, no one said goodbye or anything. my point is - if the bunker is a place where things go to die, and being dead is the only way to leave the story (ben button, ethel muggs in s7 e18) jughead never left the bunker -> he “died” -> he could leave the story and therefore narrate it.

let me explain. i always wondered why there were THREE jugheads in the jughead paradox instead of two, but if original!jughead never left the bunker, he started inserting himself as a character into his stories instead of previously assuming his narrator status in-story, so now you have original!jughead (in the bunker), character-dale!jughead, and eventually in s6, character-vale!jughead. character-dale!jughead goes to NYC, publishes a book about the events of riverdale that he narrates, and he IMMEDIATELY runs out of content. but why would that happen, you say. why would a guy writing out his own future nerf himself so bad. to that end, i say, the fucker was lonely.

think of the beldam from coraline. she exists in a pocket universe of her own making, in which you cannot go beyond the borders of the world she has created. my theory is that the real archie-ronnie-betty triangle never come back from wherever they are. toni and the other serpents staying in or coming back to riverdale is not really jughead’s concern, not until they’re needed for the story. think about how out-of-character character-dale!jughead himself behaves. the other three do what they want - betty is nancy drew irl, archie is sacrificing himself like always, and ronnie is back to being rich (and she seems flatter as a character than before, which, y know, interesting). jughead, however, who was incredibly passive about the barchie situation when it happened, is suddenly unloading massive amounts of anger on betty years after it happened. something says to me that’s original!jughead writing how he wished he’d handled it the first time around, the yelling and the name-calling and everything. and why else would we know so little about betty’s job beyond TBK? why is ronnie’s life never discussed fully in-depth? why do we not know what war archie is fighting in? doesn’t it make more sense that a boy who loved reading classic novels and watching tarantino films (and in my version, never left the bunker to read a newspaper) wrote the love of his life his best friend into a imagined war that resembles something from a movie set? all of archie’s dream sequences take place in riverdale, on the football field. we never SEE archie in active combat — at least, none that looks believable.

the town draws them all back, except, really, it’s jughead drawing them all back. why is hiram a big bad again, buying up the entire town like he was in season one? why is reggie “evil” when he was actually a close friend of archie AND veronica in s4? why are bee and vee fighting over archie again? the nana rose alien bodies plot, the cheryl building and re-building thornhill, polly being murdered, even? all of these events mirror, to some extent, the events and the characters of the earlier seasons. the boy who missed his friends so much, who roamed an empty town in his mind until he decided he couldn’t live without them anymore. he goes from narrator to author because he got dead, and then he got lonely, and all his characters harken back to an earlier age - cheryl burning down the house, hiram being a direct threat to archie when that peaked in s3, polly not being around for most of it and when she was, her being just motivation for betty to act (because that’s all jughead saw of her).

and that’s where the jughead paradox happens. that’s three jugheads, one for dale, one for vale, and one for the bunker outside of space-time. for all we know, the only thing left could be the bunker where ethel and him are writing the stories, and all that’s left of the real world is 1950s riverdale. do you ever notice how tabitha can come and go despite not being dead in the original timeline? how she stays by jughead even in his worst moments, something no one in his real life ever did for him (in his perspective, at least) ?

jughead exited the story via the bunker, the living coffin. maybe by accident, maybe on purpose. but when he couldn’t find his way back to the riverdale where he had people he loved, he started writing about one instead. maybe for his next book — but more likely, to power a universe where only the town exists. nothing else. if his friends can’t leave - assigned to riverdale FBI office, wall street reputation destroyed, town needs him to run every government service, percival’s curse trapping them in the path of THE COMET — they can’t leave him. the town is alive and is feeding on jughead’s stories, and jughead never wants to be left behind (in the bunker or otherwise) ever again. and what is a wish except a story where you get a happily ever after?

a/n: i dont actually like this theory all that much. i much prefer the town being alive and trapping them all. but i just thought of it and i had to write it down.

#i havent watched the last ep. but i have the riverdale buzz on the brain #riverdale #long post sorry

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riverdale-retread · 1 year

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Riverdale S7 E8 Hoop Dreams

I kid you not, this thing is 20 pages. Enter at your own risk. (ILY for reading even part of this.)

Jughead Jones tells us that while “some towns are football towns,” Riverdale isn’t. My longing for OG Tabitha, the angel of chronokinesis and savior of FailAdult Jughead Jones, is such that I pondered if this is Tabitha’s touch - to make a town that for six seasons has been all about football (insert the immortal “Highs and Lows of High School Football” quote gif here if you’re able, which I am not, so you’ll just have to imagine it for this summary) stop caring about that sport altogether and switch over to basketball, which might be her favorite.

Please come back, chronokinetic angel Tabitha, God of Time Loop Manipulation!

The funny thing is, even though Jughead says with what sounds like regret that Riverdale has but a “so-so football team” there’s a banner over the in progress basketball game that says 1942 RIVERDALE HIGH FOOTBALL CHAMPIONS. Granted, it doesn’t say WHAT they were champions of, but I suspect Jughead might be wrong about everything he’s saying, because the other banners say things like Riverdale High Field Hockey Champions 1944, Riverdale High Boys Basketball Champions 1945 and Division II State Champions Field Hockey 1952. Jughead insists that kids only play hockey on the river in winter, implying that they only do that because there’s nothing else to do. Granted, field hockey isn’t ice hockey, but it’s still hockey, and they were champions of this twice across eight years, so - basically, Jughead currently only thinks basketball is cool because (a) his girlfriend-god that he’s been (tw: Harry Potter reference) obliviated into forgetting wants him to think that and (b) Archie in the 1950s AU that we’re in plays basketball not football.

I wondered if the reason, say, that the one and only time the Riverdale football team was the champion was because of WWII or if that war had something to do with this spotty history of performances from the high school of at town that is completely obsessed with sports in every iteration, but I don’t think it quite lines up. WWII was between 1939 and 1945, and the US entry into that war was in 1941.

One more irrelevant point - in OG Riverdale True Timeline of previous seasons, SWEET PEA played basketball. So did Reggie Mantle. And now - now that the tallest boy Riverdale ever had is gone for good, NOW is when they make basketball a thing. O Riverdale Why Are You Like This?! (All Hail the Members of the Cult of Sweet Pea of which there are about five at any given time). I only say this because they actually cut to Fangs, playing basketball, which spiked my stress levels.

Basically, every time I see Fangs I’m enraged because that actor - while beautiful in the face and body - makes for a very terribly unintimidating Serpent and a very terribly unintimidating US Civil War warlock, and a deeply inappropriate basketball player because everything about him says gymnast weightlifter.

Anyways! Even though Fred Andrews, who is basically a saint now in Riverdale because Luke Perry was apparently a very kind man as well as valuable actor who died tragically young during the production of this show, led the team to become champions of the state three years IN A ROW, there are no signs to actually commemorate this achievement in the current halls Riverdale High where his son, Archie Andrews, plays basketball. Granted, doing some rough math, if Archie is 17 in 1955, his dad’s high school career would’ve been in the mid thirties, so the basketball glory days of Riverdale High would’ve been between like, 1934 and ‘37 (assuming Fred was born in 1918 and had Archie at age 20 in 1938 - omg this makes this Archie so old to me - 1938?!?!). Do they only put up banners for wins from the last 10 years? (But then why the 1942 win?)

I tried really hard to see what team kicked the Riverdale basketball team’s butt so hard they lose 63 to 32 (with the announcer saying “that’s another big loss for Riverdale” while all the worthies - the evil vile boyfriends the HS principal and shrink, Hal Cooper, the Blossoms, Betty and Veronica, all mourn the loss) but they had very small print on red jerseys and I could not make it out. Uncle Fucking Frank reacts with violence against innocent paper cups that Dilton Doiley with literally Long Duk Dong hair (ARE THEY SERIOUS?) cringes beside him.

I always wonder about actors who get hired for roles that essentially play a hateful racist stereotype based on their racialized phenotype. Is the actor’s ‘cringing’ reaction portrayed here so awkward because he’s a bad actor, or because the scene is bad, or is he ‘resisting’ the Asian Dweeb stereotype he’s being forced to portray by being very unnatural? (There was a black and white film from the 1940s I watched for a college class whose title escapes me where white people go do things in “China” - a set - that had as its plot device and local color provider character a “Chinese” girl who spoke surreal pidgin English, and the obviously California born-and-raised Asian actress insisted on delivering these “Me Help For You Go Get!” type of stupid lines with the most So-Cal Accent of all time). Anyway, Dilton cringes because the awful white man beats up his paper cups because he sucks as a coach.

Choni, looking amazing in those cream turtleneck sweaters (I really want a cream turtleneck sweater with something navy emblazoned on it because of this), are so very upset about this loss. They find it unspeakable. Further, Toni is discomfited by the fact that Lizzo the Lesbian who dresses in proto Tom of Finland outfits and looks very hot came to sneer at her and only her for being a cheerleader.

In the locker room, Archie, because 1950s Archie is adorkably wholesome and a natural leader, is trying to give his discouraged teammates a pep talk. He sounds so decent and sweet. The other redhead, because really, there is room for only one redhead to be supreme in this town, the Julian who isn’t Jason, interrupts him with a generic sort of homophobic slur against them all - “Not if we keep playing like pansies!” before launching into a shouting rant that Archie cuts off. Nostrils flaring, Julian invokes St. Fred’s sainted “legacy” of having gifted Riverdale with a streak of wins at Archie, who is very very peeved. Julian makes sure to mention the fact that his parents sponsor the team, to which Archie fights back with a very pointed pronunciation of the title, “Captain.”

After the game, Uncle Fucking Frank is begging Clifford Blossom for something. When Archie asks him in his 1955 voice (which I now realize is a very creditable impression of the tenor husky tone of Luke Perry actually) what Blossom wanted, Uncle Fucking Frank says that he’s been permitted to bring in an outside player.

And here we come to it.

This is another Very Special Episode of Riverdale S7 - subtitle, The Thorny Question of Race in America.

Uncle Fucking Frank has many many MANY MANY flaws but he is a middle aged white man in 1955 who is entirely free from not just racism but any sort of prejudice or racial awareness whatsoever. Which - what? How? Does Uncle Fucking Frank have prosopagnosia or something? I mean, he called with evident, drooling joy, Betty Cooper in her underwear that he happened to see without her permission in her skivvies “a ripe peach of a girl” to Archie his nephew, but this is what he has to say about Reggie Mantle, about whom the first thing literally everyone other than him notices is his Not Whiteness:

- Farm kid out of Duck Creek

- Kid who knows how to win games

- 6ft 3, 220 pounds, pure muscle, fast.

- Nickname: ‘The Blur - cause you never see him coming.”

Zero mention of Reggie not being white, of being Asian (or as he may more likely have said, Oriental), or Korean. Zippo, nothing, nada. Just the barest locational and socioeconomic background, no mention of immigrant status, and only what needs to be known for his credentials as an ace basketball player to be communicate to Archie.

Do I - must I - stop hating Uncle Fucking Frank quite as much? I mean I’ll always hate him, but I might have to downgrade from Despise to just Hate. Frank, Sir, you are coming up in the world.

Wait no, I figured it out. I still can still hate Uncle Fucking Frank despite the fact that he manages to talk about Reggie Mantle purely limited to his traits as an ace basketball player with zero mention of his race, ethnicity, being oriental, what kind of Asian etc etc. During the past few years I have seen and heard in passing analyses about how pro and college football will populate their winning teams with not-white athletes, build out hugely profitable merchandising using these same athletes but not pay them their due share. I’m sure coaches that recruit students for this sort of enterprise also don’t really go into what color their skin is or their facial phenotype: they only want to know if they have the physique to render them profitable for the team. Same with Uncle Fucking Frank. He’s not enlightened, just desperate.

Meanwhile, Cheryl and Toni are working off the stress of cheering for a losing team (and in Toni’s case, whatever that meaningful look was between her and Lizzo at the end of the game.) Cheryl, who manages to not have her siren red lipstick all over her face after this make out session looks very fetching in her red neckerchief (omg the clavicles on this chick are to die for) proposes that she and Toni “go steady, just for us." Toni, looking equally fetching in with her thick bangs and leopard print scarf (do they wear these to hide the hickeys or are they too sophisticated for that?) is not nice about it. She points out that they can’t walk down the hall at school holding hands nor can they ‘pin’ each other.

Uh. That’s struck me as quite nasty, and a weirdly underhanded blow at that. 1955 is only five years after the founding of Mattachine Society which moreover was just white men, and it’s not clear to me that those dudes would’ve necessarily welcomed either of these girls. Why is Toni pointing out that they are living in a homophobic society to blame Cheryl for it?

When Cheryl finally gets the hint (“Unless you don’t want to!”), Toni finally says that monogamy is too ‘square’ for her. (What the hell is happening with her and Lizzo?) Cheryl though is nothing if not obnoxiously persistent, so she works her way around Toni’s refusal, which was I will note once again, not at all gentle, by concluding that “it’s kind of like we’re already secretly going steady if you think about it.” Way to be suffocating, Cheryl. Toni is annoyed.

We are now finally going to meet 1955 Reggie Mantle. A very dusty blue pick up truck drives down a road to turn into a yard with lots of goats. It turns out to be Archie Andrews’ ride. The farm house looks pretty huge, though not particularly fancy. Reggie is moving bales of hay from one truck to the other. His hair is all glossy and shiny looking as he does this. Archie asks apparently for the second or third time if he can’t give Reggie a hand, to which Reggie who is very Eyeore in 1955 says no.

The second thing that Archie says to Reggie is to ask if Reggie is “from Korea.” Which means at some point Frank told him he was Korean.

Maybe American and European awareness of Korea existing waxes and wanes, but this question surprised me, as in, it struck me as very unrealistic. It’s only in literally the past seven or so years (i.e. since BTS hit it big in America in 2017) that an Asian looking person is going to be asked if they are Korean first and foremost. My, how we’ve come up in the world, I guess? (Except this more like that one nutty Englishman who plastic surgeried himself into ‘being Korean’ for a bit before deciding that he wasn’t Korean after all.)

Reggie gives a very, like, 1990s answer to this “Where are you from” question, politely answering with his genealogy - Mom is “Korean.” Then he goes on to say his dad “was born here,” before adding “I was born here.” This convoluted writing is necessary because the show doesn’t want to say if Reggie’s father is ethnically Korean or not. If Reggie was born in 1938 like I’ve calculated already for Archie, and let’s just say for the sake of argument they’re all the same age, Reggie’s father was born in 1918 in the US and his mother managed to enter the US (that’s what “from Korea” or “Korean” here is supposed to mean) before the 1924 Oriental Exclusion act banning all Asian immigration to the US, which stayed in place until 1952 (My head hurts. Why did they have to make his being KOREAN a thing on this show?). This makes her the wrong age to have come to America as a picture bride (1905-1924). Also what the heck does Reggie mean by “here”? Most of the initial immigration by Koreans to the US were to Hawaii (prior to annexation) and to California because those land masses are closer to Korea (Koreans moved east to America).

Reggie looks very hot in his baggy jeans and brown belt and work gloves that match his tan boots. Of course this is a bit of a call back to the Jarchie Run Away from Hiram Together moments where Archie takes his shirt off and moves bales of hay as Jughead watches peevishly because he gets annoyed whenever Archie does things that are likely to get him laid.

Apparently, Reggie used to play basketball for Stonewall Prep, but then dropped out. While he’s willing to be polite about explaining his ethnic background (kind of - we know his mother’s ethnicity and his father’s immigration status, to be accurate), Reggie gets testy when asked this question about his history as a Stony. He says he dropped out, as Archie smiles ruefully at the rebuff (“You writing a book?”) which seems very harsh because OG Archie of course has difficulties learning things from books.

I was wrong- it wasn’t Archie’s truck, it was Frank’s. Frank has come out of the farm house to tell Reggie that things are “squared away with your folks” and that Reggie should “say his see you laters.” I don’t think this is intentional, but it’s actually accurate. Certain types of Americans do lay it on super heavy with the colloquialisms when they are speaking to someone they didn’t expect would have an American accent.

When Reggie walks past Archie towards the house, Archie looks exactly like I would if a panther just casually walked by me in the street. He’s so amazed by Reggie that he gives Uncle Fucking Frank a ‘Oh My Golly Gosh Did YOU See That Too?’ look to which Frank gives him an understanding nod. Frank apparently doesn’t find this reaction ‘bent’ at all.

So now we’re at the dinner table at the Andrews home with Mary politely trying to make conversation.

I’m gonna have to break the summation again once more to note the huge problems that trying to be ethnically accurate about Charles Melton the actor (his mom is ethnically Korean and his father is not) for this season that they’ve set in 1955 causes the show. In S2-6, they gave Reggie a Tiger Dad type father who looked Asian (or part Asian) and his mother was cast with an Asian (or part Asian) actress. But in 1955 we’re having to go with the idea that Reggie was a mixed race kid born in 1938, without actually going into anti- miscegenation and laws associated therewith (I am not going to research this ok? I just know Loving v Virginia was decided in 1967. FML. I hate history so much and here I am having to do this for my RIVERDALE HOBBY - , like wtf is my life rn).

The thing is, THE THING IS, the set up they have for “dad born here, I’m born here, I speak fluent English with an American accent” Reggie is that of an exchange student far from home, an alien guest in an All American Caucasian Household.

Long Duk Dong set up (from Sixteen Candles, which is a movie Molly Ringwald was in, who now plays Archie’s Mom) ONCE AGAIN. There’s a classic Margaret Cho quote from decades ago about how Asian Americans aren’t allowed to just, like, EXIST in American shows and movies. There’s always got to be some reason that justifies their existence - foreign exchange student being one of the most benign go-tos. Riverdale is reproducing the Explain Your Existence, O Surprising Oriental trope even as they pretend to actually engage with Asian American identity.

Friends, I have written five pages, single spaced and so far I’ve covered literally FOUR MINUTES of the show. Let’s move faster.

Mary Andrews has heard that Reggie grew up on a farm, and wants to know all about it. Uncle Fucking Frank is seated at the head of the table like somehow he has a right to be there. Anyway, Reggie is bouncy and discreetly proud of himself when he says that his dad was injured in the Korean War (“Came home with shrapnel in his shoulder”) so he has to step up, because it’s his family’s legacy.

These are all words designed to ping every string in Archie’s heart - Dad, Korean War, Family Legacy, Stepping Up.

Times are hard, is what Reggie is telling them, so Archie asks why they couldn’t get assistance from the GI Bill. “We’re not considered eligible” is what Reggie tells Archie. So… is Reggie’s Dad a Not Korean But Asian person? Who was born in America in 1918 and got drafted into the Korean War while Asian? I mean, I have no idea how many that might be actually, and the Korean War was an international police action that had battlefield participation from, like, Ethiopia, Turkey and South Africa, so there were bunches of not Korean men fighting that war. (Oh and uh, if you bring up MASH to me I will curse your bloodline and block you because NO.) So where the US government refused to do right by its veterans of color, Clifford Blossom's need to have his pet basketball team win something will provide the assistance the Mantle farm apparently needs and should’ve received from the US government.

Reggie is going to be roommates with Archie. He gets a bunk, lots of blankets, and a dresser drawer. Reggie looks very glum about this, though the adorable clueless 1955 Archie whom I do like so much is being very sincere in his efforts to be a good host. Reggie happens to glance out the window to see Betty Cooper, very fetching in green and white polka dots, settle on her bed

“Who’s that?” he wants to know. He says everything in this dour, serious tone, which I guess is meant to convey that the weight of the world is on this Reggie, as opposed to the one that lived in the permanent year 2020. Archie tellingly refuses to say her actual name, describing Betty as “his neighbor” that Reggie will “get to meet at school tomorrow.” Then, just to make things extra weird, he firmly notes that they’re both supposed to keep their window curtains shut from now on - no further explanation. Reggie clearly has a ton of questions but decides not to ask any.

Hal comes to give Betty a visit. Werthers has advised Hal that Betty might be better off burning off her excess energy by becoming a cheerleader. The fact that her school shrink is talking about Betty's sexuality with her dad is supposed to give me the heebie jeebies but it doesn't. When this town's adults don't like something about their kids they straight up shove them into a mental institution run by a pseudo Catholic cult (both in the OG Universe and 1955 AU) so what Betty is getting is cosseting. What's more interesting is the very All American conviction that repeatedly keeps getting voiced that Sports Will Fix Sexual Problems In The Young. Kevin's unacceptable homosexuality was supposed to be cured by participation in homosocial team sports. Betty's unacceptable sexuality in general (because God forbid women do anything) is also supposed to be cured by participation in a homosocial team sport. Nobody sees the contradiction in any of this. When told that she must join the Vixens - AND without auditioning! Join through back channels! - Betty looks completely disgusted. And yeah there's a very Rivderdalean triple pun here, of a sexualized virgin being forced to join the most objectfied female activity in American high school AND acquire the title VIXEN into the bargain! I wonder if this is the show advocating for teen girls to send nudes to boys - because that's what Betty would've done had she had the technology, right?

The next morning Lizzo the Lezzie is waiting for Toni at the school. I thought Lizzo dropped out? Is she just an incorrigible morning person? This is a disturbing level of stalking of Toni is it not? To come super early to the grounds of the school you dropped out of to provide sneering commentary on someone else's relationship is a LOT. And Lizzo is so carefully dressed too : Tom of Finland leathers hat and jacket, maroon pants, belt with a big interesting buckle that is the same color as her huge hoop earrings. She tells Toni she's "figured out a good hustle." She picks put "ripe" closeted girls, brings them out and uh deflowers them, then ditches them.

Oooh is this Toni Topaz having a toxic trait? Because her relentless pursuit of Cheryl, who was all manner of unwilling (plus the usual lack of sexual frisson between these two performers- also sidebar rant WHY WONT THEY GIVE VERONICA A GIRLFRIEND) was in truth a little icky right?

Toni looks shifty and avoidant when she spots Tabitha Tate and simply leaves Lizzo in the lurch.

Tabitha says that Mrs. Till was all the things that sound exhausting to have to be ("so strong, so inspiring") but that the tour trying to voice the racial injustice of America took a personal toll on her. This is the start of a severely, comically fucked up race related discussion vis a vis African Americans on this episode. First of all, you have two African American women explaining white racism to each other, very calmly, without expressing anger or fatigue and even managing to experience some surprise. That is so weird. Second, Toni says she "can only imagine" the hatred and racial injustice that Tabitha just got through encountering up close and personal. Excuse me? Why can she only imagine? Wouldn't Toni actually KNOW? Because anti black racism doesn't exist at all in Riverdale 1955?? (But she was one who pointed out exactly what some of the more obvious ones were to Featherhead!) When Toni confesses to Tabitha that she's now a cheerleader, she prefaces by saying "Don't laugh" and doesn't say the BS she tried to push on Lizzo at the start of her River Vixen career - that being the first black cheerleader is somehow meaningful. Tabitha evidently doesn't feel anything other than horror at the idea of being a cheerleader so she instead asks about whether Toni is still writing think pieces for the Blue and Gold. She isn't. Tabitha completely runs out of things to say. OK so thus far, 1955 Toni is a bit of a predatory lesbian lothario who will get sanctimonious about race only when she thinks she can get away with it, and Tabitha is a judgmental prig. I suppose this could be considered a sort of progress for characters who used to be all about their “race,” each with the designated role of being the only one with the braincell because that’s clumsy representation but it’s better than a hateful depiction, but the dark sides shown here are still a simplistic flip of the equally nuance-free ‘light’ sides that were dominant for both.

In the student lounge, Betty, Veronica and Cheryl (who really would be an ultimate throuple - with Veronica as the hinge person, if only, well, if only all of them didn’t have the various issues they’ve always had) allow Kevin to sit with them, which I simply do not understand. Betty is too good for her own good, to coin a phrase. Veronica is deeply amused by Betty being a “RiverVixen” to which Cheryl makes it clear that she did not want this to happen - for Betty to join the cheerleading squad NOR the nepotistic way she joined it. Veronica now owns the Babylonium - complete with “paperwork.”

Why. Do they do. This. with the Contract Mentions. [fists clenched, vibrating with rage] Finalized by who? Which paperwork? Is Veronica an emancipated minor too like Jughead probably possibly is or has she been lying all this time about being the same age as everyone else purportedly is in this universe?

In any case, Betty, who has developed a new oral fixation with lollipops, finds Veronica’s penchant for business as adorable as Veronica finds the thought of Betty in a cheerleader uniform. Veronica is wearing a very un-1950s Veronica outfit - the collar goes right up to the collarbone, the sleeves are puffy, the color subdued. Now that she’s recovered some element of her OG Universe self (compulsive entrepreneur), she is now speaking of herself in the third person and archly. The camp is dialed up so high the knob breaks off. (“Veronica Lodge likes to burn rubber” which is, what, three layers of pun? Burn Rubber = goes fast. Rubber = slang for condom. But Veronica is a virgin, etc). Betty and (Sighhhhh) Kevin think so too, because they give each other a look.

Or it could be because their 17 year old friend suddenly talking like she’s a 1940s screen diva at a waning stage of her career AND talking about herself in the third person using her full name is just fully very strange.

To make matters worse, Archie brings in Reggie Mantle to this little group, trying to do his best to integrate this valuable new teammate (and roommate, and all round amazing looking cool handsome guy that he thinks is just the tops on first sight) to his coterie. Veronica fully falls into an erotic fugue at the sight of Reggie, and starts to speak in tongues - “Are you gonna introduce us to your strapping flutter bum of a new pal?” 1950s Archie smiles nicely at her while not answering, which is the usual thing that he does when he just doesn’t understand wtf the other person is saying but doesn’t feel safe asking them to explain in case everyone else understands and they all wind up finding out that he’s dumb.

Reggie apparently expects Riverdale people to be completely insane because he doesn’t even do a double take at this exceptional sentence from this girl he’s meeting for the first time. He just soberly introduces himself. I mean, given that he has first met Uncle Fucking Frank on a mission from Clifford Blossom of all people, and then had Archie say what he said about the curtains and Betty, he’s not wrong.

Veronica is laying it on an inch thick - “I suspected a tall drink of water like you was a sportsman!”

She’s taking all her behavioral cues from an earlier era of movie diva, I think. This is like, Marlene Dietrich (“Marriage? [scoff] I never found a man good enough for that.”) or Greta Garbo (“But I vaaunt to be aloonnne”) with a certain brassy kind of young Joan Crawford making movie after movie with Clark Gable.

The original high-camp archly-haute queen of Riverdale, Cheryl, fights for her crown. She interrupts whatever next thing Veronica was going to say by snapping that Veronica “might get a ticket for speeding.” This doesn’t just mean that Cheryl really dislikes it when people are very heterosexual around her (though she does feel that too). Veronica first of all is intensely wlw-coded, which is why it irks (the closeted) Cheryl that Veronica is laying it on so thick with the attraction to big handsome man’s-man Reggie (which of course goes all the way over the maximum virility level to loop all the way around to being gay!). (In a way that Toni never actually appeared to like or interact with other women, OG Veronica absolutely LOVED other women and made the personal political in a very principled way). And it shows that Cheryl not only closely listens to everything Veronica says but also really thought the whole ‘burn rubber’ triple pun was great, which is why she references it in her attempted put down.

She tries to demonstrate how she thinks not-straight girls should react to someone with Reggie’s glossy hair and sculptural face. Cheryl puts on the most anodyne professional face to tell Reggie what “professional” (ahem) connections they have, and makes sure to say that the two of them “will be working closely together.” She does this very well. But the thing is, she looks even more insane than before because the flip of the switch from her sniping at Veronica (an explosion of genuine feeling) and this ‘groomed professional’ self is so abrupt!

Reggie is like, okay so hot girl 1 is nuts and so is hot girl 2, but maybe hot girl 3 (and neighbor) is not insane, so he asks Betty if she’s a cheerleader. Kevin makes a face like he knows exactly Reggie’s thought process (but honestly, fuck you Kevin. Die in a ditch.). Betty does give the most sane reaction out of the three. When Reggie calls her ‘neighbor’ though, Veronica AND Betty AND Kevin all have a reaction. (Cheryl already knew and possibly doesn’t care so she doesn’t say anything). Kevin and Veronica look over at Archie, while Betty scrunches her forehead at Reggie.

Archie is still looking at Reggie like made of solid gold. “He’s gonna help turn things around for the Bulldogs.”

Veronica is so bored by Riverdale. She must be. Why else is she acting like this? She immediately tries to monopolize Reggie’s attention, calling him “Reginald” and interviewing him like she’s a celebrity journalist trying to win some sort of tabloid spirit award. Reggie continually gives her looks that blatantly say, Are you really like this - like, really?? Yet Veronica is utterly undeterred. What she reminds me of is Samantha from Sex and the City. No woman talks like that - that was a ‘woman’ written by gay men who thought THEY would talk like that and behave like that if THEY were women (which no, they would not. There are reasons why actual women can’t talk or behave that way). Veronica tries to lay out all her best cards (she thinks) on the table, concluding with “I own my own business, yes” and calls her movie theater a “movie palace.”

Oh Veronica. Being a entrepreneurial girl in a heterosexist world is exactly like being a logical confrontational girl or a scientifically rigorous girl. Being these things is surely a strength, to be aspired to and will fuel you to achieve self actualization, but no straight boy ever found these things hot. They like us in spite of these strengths, not because. Sad, but true.

Reggie clearly just doesn’t believe her, possibly adding ‘mythomania’ to his assessment that already includes ‘speaks strangely’ and ‘incomprehensible’ about Veronica.

When showing off her fabulous gift of the gab, her perfect face, and her entrepreneur skills fails to make an impact on Reggie, Veronica gets annoyed. In response to his saying his town just did not have a movie theater AND his parents never owned a TV (possibly, never made enough to buy one), she offers Reggie a job, which will come with a side order of sexual harassment from a very attractive female boss.

Cheryl Blossom, who knows all about Reggie’s financial dependence on her father, finds the mention of money horrible (Cheryl Old Money vs. Veronica New Money dynamic). She calls Veronica uncouth (“Raised by wolves!”). Reggie has had more than enough. He used to go to Stonewall with rich WASPs so can tell when things are about to go sideways. He literally backs away from everyone, asking to be shown the gym.

Veronica AND Kevin leap at the chance to get near Reggie and a shower stall at the same time, so Archie comes to his rescue to show him the way. Reggie gives Kevin a Et Tu Brute?!? look, not because he’s homophobic, but I think because he thought a big muscled fit person like Kevin might conduct himself with better comportment. Archie gives Kevin a look before leaving.

Tabitha approaches Jughead in the hall. They are wearing perfectly matched outfits. She’s wearing a fabric with a pink-and-green checkerboard pattern, while Jughead is wearing a vest with shades of green in a grid over a pink shirt. His locker door is very interesting. He’s got a big cover of the Super Duck comic issue taped in the honored central location, which I take to mean that not only is he actually really working on the Super Duck comics but he actually is proud of and excited by the work (Unless this is some super tightly thought out trickery against Werthers and Featherhead). There’s also that month’s calendar with each day crossed out - is this him working on his personal writing ‘every day’? To be true to himself, there’s also some sort of movie postcard about SPIDERS and another one about TOMB. I wish I could make out more of what’s on there but I can’t.

Anyway - Jughead apparently has NOT been doing anything to help Tabitha keep abreast of her schoolwork like he promised her a few episodes ago. Tabitha smilingly takes him to task for it, and he’s full of stammering apologies. Tabitha says that she didn’t actually have difficulties keeping up with school, so Jughead is “hereby absolved.” She even wants to know why Jughead was so preoccupied, like he tried to explain during his apology.

The way Tabitha and Jughead keep echoing each other in this little scene is just so cute. Their outfits exactly match, as I’ve said. Jughead says that he “got a job” writing a “broad range” of comic books and that he’s also working for Bradberry. Tabitha has read Bradberry because she “reads across all genres, including science fiction.” The cuteness of these super attractive nerds with their pretty faces just moisturizes my dry little heart. Their twitchy little body language tells of excitement and shy liking also match - they both shake their heads a little when they suggest something, to indicate Please Don’t Say No, and bounce on their heels and do minute little up down motions with their shoulders. Whereas 1955 Archie is wholesome in a slightly clueless way but also because he’s trying to be perfect as a way to grieve the loss of his father, these two, memory-wiped Jughead and 1955 Tabitha, are genuinely wholesome. When Tabitha takes her leave, Jughead looks at her with slight disbelief at his own good fortune.

At the ‘movie palace,’ Kevin, who like Cheryl pays very close attention to everything Veronica says I guess, asks Veronica for a job. He’s also obsessively watched Singing In the Rain so many times that he’s gotten it memorized end to end. (This is yet another way Kevin is not friendshaped to me - I’ve always been a Fred Astaire girl.) One of the (spoken) prerequisites of getting a job at this theater is to love movies. One of the half-spoken prerequisites, however, is a willingness to get involved, either directly or not, in Veronica’s attempt at having a sex life in Riverdale. Veronica really thought that becoming a sort of mogul would help her land straight guys.

Oh honey.

Veronica (sort of like Toni, actually) is sexually predatory and also desperate in a way I find curious. She’s been hitting on Clay for a while, apparently, but even though hes just NOT RESPONDING (which is very woman-coded of him) she refuses to take the fucking hint. She makes it blatantly clear that she only hired Kevin because he is friends with Clay AND will help her “suss him out.”

Oh honey!

We finally get to the reveal of Reggie The Blur Mantle's basketball skills! Uncle Fucking Frank calls his players "turkeys." Waterboy Dilton is there wearing an especially unflattering rotten greenish Grey color sweatshirt while everyone is in either a blue or a yellow jersey. I guess gold was too expensive? I can comfortably hate Frank again because a teammate tosses a used paper cup right at Dilton and another gives him a fist bump for it in a very visible act of denigration and Frank neither notices nor cares. Maybe it's this inability to see detail and perceive reality by this coach that is the cause of this team sucking so badly?

Reggie’s purpose in being brought on is made crystal clear to everyone. He's either to be an unwelcome alien element that provokes the existing property team members to hitherto impossible levels of competence and, if that doesn't work, use his own proven excellence to drag them over the edge. Frank has no interest in Reggie’s quality of life or smooth integration into the team, accordingly. I've been hired a part of a reform and upgrade effort like this one and lemme tell you - the push back from the existing people who are told We Are Bringing Them In Cuz You Suck is insidious, nasty, brutish and persistent. People don't like being insulted nor shown that they are replaceable.

So Fucking Frank makes Julian the captain of one team and Reggie the captain of the other. The only two that initially join Reggie’s group are Archie and Fangs. Archie thinks it's a no brainer - he dislikes Julian, this is his uncle's big gambit, and he thinks Reggie is just tops. Fangs joins, I assume, because Reggie has black hair like him. When everyone else joins Team Julian, Fangs objects (3:7 is unfeasible).

Reggie invites Dilton to join. Dilton lights up as that fucker Frank looks back at him as he's seeing him for the first time. Maybe he has. I've had white teachers "forget" wholesale that I was in their class when the class had only 6 other students when assigning roles for a semester length project. (Riverdale got this right, is what I'm saying.)

The thing is, I HAD TO be in that class.

Why Dilton puts up with this especially when he had no ability in it is confusing to me.

Archie is worried about this decision but he does nicely ask Dilton if he's up for it, then prompts him to get on the court.

This is by the way fascinating kingly behavior on Reggie’s part. The easier choice when you're bullied is to avoid the people who are the same type as you.

The Vixens filter in. I didn't realize the cheerleaders were obliged to sit and watch team practice. That is truly terrible. No wonder Betty was so annoyed.

And we're off!

I do not care about sports and therefore have zero knowledge or reference but is this sort of angle normal for basketball??

Reggie scores a point immediately. I'm assuming that what he does here - a sort of demi tourne en-l'air as he scores- is awesome because they show it a) in slow motion and b) most of the Vixens clap and all react like they saw something amazing. Cheryl especially looks shocked.

I am again so enamored of their outfits this season. An extra wears a beautiful pinstripe skirt with stripes of color mixed in - white, red, and mustard - with a grapefruit cardigan over a white shirt. I covet this outfit. Betty is fetching dressed only in pink and white. I LOVE IT when they put Cheryl in navy, like they do here, because it makes her look like three scoops of vanilla ice cream. Midge looks extremely not pregnant in her cinched-tight skirt. Toni is trying to dyke it up while matching Cheryl in navy tones - tight blue jeans and a matching sweater.

Julian makes like he's going to smash Dilton's glasses (or face) with the basketball in his hands. Dilton cringes, costing his side however many points Julian immediately scores. He's crushed. Reggie comes up from behind to reassure him with pats to the stomach, maintaining eye contact with Dilton to make sure he is OK.

The fucker Frank seems worried at this show of solidarity that Reggie feels with other Asians.

Reggie scores every time he attempts to. He looks right at Betty as soon as he scores the first one, and Betty is getting into it with every score Reggie uh, scores. (I am bored and I also know very few sports words.)

Julian fully elbows Dilton right in the chest, knocking him over, before scoring too. Abusing Dilton seems to be what helps him achieve excellence. I'm wondering what exactly was wrong with this team to begin with because Julian at least seems as good as Reggie at scoring, albeit in less aerodynamic ways.

Muscles rippling, Reggie lifts Dilton up off the ground. I feel a grim obligation to look up a Dilton/Reggie tag for s7 on Ao3. (Grim because I much prefer the other Dilton, the feral one that eventually grows his hair long and has that secret close friendship with Jughead).

Oh and when Julian scores the banner behind him says Victory Is Ours! whereas when Reggie is helping Dilton out the banner behind the two of them says Go Team Go!

Frank shouts something about game point, and Dilton, whose dusty skills are irrigated by one instance of skin on skin contact by Reggie, actually manages to score. Frank looks pleased but I think he's not proud of Dilton so much as pleased for himself that Reggie’s excellence transfers to other people.

Reggie, Fangs and Archie hoist Dilton into the air to celebrate his single solitary winning moment in life so far in the 50s alternate universe. The two Asian boys helped each other win against Julian Blue-Blood Blossom and to make sure you got it, Riverdale gave the Asian Boy Team members yellow jerseys. Guess what color Julian's jersey is. Later, Julian is so pissed he kicks a basketball.

In the locker room afterwards Dilton is shown collecting laundry to haul off somewhere. Just like I didn't know that cheerleaders were forced to attend the practice and training sessions of the players, I didn’t know that to be a water boy was to be an unpaid maid for the other players. Remind me once again why Dilton wants to participate on these terms?? (Also, an Asian boy with laundry duties is actually worse than Long Duk Dong. Having the less stereotypical Reggie (though at this point, the Super Asian Who is Good At All the Things is ripening into almost a fully fledged stereotype) doesn’t counteract Dilton’s portrayal. That’s not how this works.

Everyone other than Dilton is pretty glum, because the player that was brought in because they suck has proven himself to be superior to them. Archie suggests that they all take him out for burgers at Pop’s. Possibly for the first time in his life, Archie is met with silent treatment from a bunch of people. He wants to know “what gives?” Reggie gets it immediately, so he tries to recuse himself. Ominously, Julian suddenly says he wants to go, and that’s because when Julian is down in the dumps the immediate next thing he alights on is to use his money to squash someone. Knowing that Reggie doesn’t have a car, he sets up a race - “Last one to Pop’s treats!” knowing it’s gonna be Reggie. Archie didn’t think of that, so he feels alarmed. Dilton is permitted to come by Julian. The four of them - Fangs, Archie, Dilton and Reggie - awkwardly stare at each other.

In the extremely constricting looking cheerleader practice outfits - the button down shirts with tightly belted blue shorts - the Vixens are assigned their ‘designated’ player by Cheryl. Cheryl thank the lord gets Julian (which she doesn’t mind and is great for everyone). She describes this duty as “personalized support, baking him cookies” and “helping with his homework.” Neither Veronica nor Betty have ever heard of this. Cheryl assigns Archie to Toni, and Reggie to Betty. Toni is full of questions and suspicions about this choice, but Betty seems more than pleased.

Meanwhile, Tabitha and Jughead (him wearing the felt crown, which unlike the beanie I can’t ‘unsee’ and her in a pink bandeau headband) are visiting Apartment 407 which belongs to Bradberry. The author is not responsive to Jughead’s knocking. Tabitha suggests leaving him a note, and Jughead, while scribbling, asks if Tabitha wants to go see a movie. lOoh, sort of like how Jabitha started - with her asking him to hang out!! “I would love to go to the movies with you” is what she says, in her melting sweet voice and her huge soft eyes which can’t be fully obscured by those huge glasses frames. It’s a completely unromantic movie, about being attacked by a giant octopus, yet Jughead gets starry-eyed when she says Yes without hesitation. Having written his note, Jughead takes out a piece of gum from his mouth that he hadn’t been chewing this entire time to attach it to the door. Jughead and Tabitha giggle cutely at each other as they head off to the movies.

In the changing room back at school, Toni is changed into her Hot Beatnik Chick outfit. Cheryl asks what’s wrong, to which Toni ominously replies, “We need to get real, Cheryl.” So, this emotional rollercoaster that Toni keeps dragging Cheryl on - is this supposed to serve as some sort of corrective to the way Choni ultimately worked out in the OG timeline? Lizzo’s critiques about how Toni’s predatorily self-serving ways being correct doesn’t really do anything for me until they do more with Lizzo as a character. Toni, though, is not wrong when she says, “Baking for my own personal meathead is not really want I want my life to be about.” Hear hear. Plus, I don’t think that it was general knowledge that this level of handmaidenhood was what was required of cheerleading, so this probably is far beyond what Toni is willing to put up with for a girlfriend. Cheryl seems infinitely sad at the dismissive way Toni says “cheerleader” when she says that isn’t what she wants to be. Then she asks a really scary question, so scary that she closes her eyes the entire time she is asking. Cheryl wants to know if this whole rejection of everything square and cheerleader and so forth is because Cheryl asked to go steady. Toni says no, at first, but then says that she needs to “figure herself out” plus she “needs space.” Again, I must reiterate my question about what making Toni not just a bohemian but such a toxic one supposed to show me. Cheryl is left alone with two sets of paper shakers lying like dead animals on the bench. Poor Cheryl.

At the movie theater, Jughead is ordering a LOT of food because he is flush with cash from his writing gigs I guess - popcorn, large cola with ice, two packs of ‘Senior Mints,’ a ‘Butterflinger’ with a hard emphasis on the G, Mint BoGos, Buccaneers and a Skit-Skat.

I happen to love KitKats and calling them SKAT is hurtful to me in a personal way. The official ‘joke’ of this little bit is that all of this is entirely for Jughead’s solitary consumption. Tabitha, who is grossed out by this collection of foodstuffs, has no appetite. There’s an inflation joke too, because Veronica says all of this is 75 cents. The thing that’s truly an insider level of joke about this bit, of course, is that Jughead seems to have entirely forgotten that he and Veronica had a pretty long term flirtation where they dated and she fixed up his residence and he read her his first drafts.

Veronica tells Clay that she founds it “interesting” that Tabitha and Jughead are at the movies together. Clay does not care about straight people’s shenanigans, plus it’s apparent that Veronica will not stop bringing up the topic of sex to him, so he deflects as politely as possible.

Veronica however has not forgotten their entanglement, which she describes as lasting as long as a “New York minute.” Now Clay has no choice but to show interest. Clay thinks Jughead is “plenty handsome” to which Veronica rolls her eyes before saying a very lukewarm, “I suppose.” Veronica says that Jughead is an oddball, which she makes sound like a bad thing, before trying to butter up Clay by telling him that she prefers her men to be “continental” and “worldly” and with an “air of mystery.” Cut to Kevin’s POV (Kevin is sweeping up the front hall of the theater while Veronica has Clay trapped in close proximity with her behind the concession counter. The signs on the wall immediately behind Clay read:

Refreshments

Hot Buttered (much small writing: Popcorn)

FRISKY (sandals - is this a movie?)

FLESH (eating spiders).

Clay gives Kevin a helpless look before deciding to beat a swift retreat. He’s got reel changing duties to attend to. Before he can fully get away, however, Veronica turns it up a notch to fully sexually harass her employee: “Just think about picking up what I’m putting down” she says, placing pointy manicured fingernails against his hand. Clay gives Kevin yet another Oh Help Me look (unseen by Veronica). Kevin is trying to figure how to rescue his boyfriend.

At the student lounge, Betty is trying to provide support for Reggie. She asks him what he got for a certain question, to which Reggie says she doesn’t have to do this. Betty tells him straight out that this is part of her job as a Vixen. She also wants to know what his favorite cookie is because she’s obliged to bake him some. Reggie doesn’t want her to do that either. Reggie is either some sort of paragon (Uhhh Model Minority?) or sexually repressed (Sigh) or gay because he seems ultra unreactive to Betty, being gorgeous and friendly. Betty is repressing a lot of anger about being made to participate in any of this, so it comes out in this arch, sarcastic way. I also think that she’s defensive about her ‘reputation’ so she pretends she doesn’t care as she tells him how her innocent sexual exploration (“A peep show, in our windows, if you can even call it that”) was violently taken out of the realm of privacy and ruined her reputation in town, leading her to flash her underwear on live television.

Reggie has fully had enough. He looks very concerned for her sanity as well as his own safety. Betty belatedly realizes how insane how she said what she said makes her sound but her panic makes her unable to order her thoughts. (“We didn’t— No, we’re not— I’m completely–! [dissolves into adorable mouthsounds of incoherent reassurance]). He decides he should just go. This is very reminiscent of the “Am I the only one here who hasn’t gotten rid of a dead body” moment from Killing Mr. Honey, except a bit less funny because Reggie’s personality is so tamped down for 1955. Overwhelmed by this girl mentioning “peep show” and “flashing panties” in her first real conversation with him, he tells her that she’s hereby “relieved of your, uh, Vixen duties, okay?” As he takes off, Betty puts a hand to shield her face. She is just the cutest.

Reggie is practicing basketball when Archie finds him at the gym. Archie invites him to lunch, but Reggie refuses. Archie insists that it’s not with the team (shitty people) but instead his other friends (hypersexual crazy people) so Reggie politely declines double.

Then we come to a comical bit that I don’t know the show knows is comical. Clay, Tabitha and Toni are sitting together to discuss Toni’s idea of starting a literary society at Riverdale High for black students because of …Emmett Till. That’s a really weird jump to me, but OK. Clay and Tabitha seem excited. This isn’t what I find comical. What I find comical is that this is an oblique discussion about anti-black racism by three black students who are all dating white people in an episode that decided to focus on Reggie’s Korean ethnicity.

Toni wants to highlight Black voices and writing. Clay is a prolific writer off screen - he writes poetry, literary criticism and short fiction. He wants a forum and probably deserves it -except he did spoken word that one time at the coffee house, and it’s not clear to me why he had to wait for Toni to get bored with her jaunt to Caucasian Squaretown to do this. Tabitha really hates cheerleading. Does she know about the baking and the helping with the homework and being assigned a personal meathead and all of that? It’s strongly implied Tabitha really wants Toni to give it up for an idea that she approves of as much more worthy. Toni says she gave up cheerleading because she was gay for Cheryl Blossom. Neither Tabitha nor Clay have a reaction to this at first. Tabitha enthusiastically agrees when, in an attempt to steer the conversation away from her personal life, Toni says her ‘journal’ would make a big difference to (just) the black students. The fact that Tabitha and Toni take it as a given that absolutely no white students would read this journal is an interesting commentary.

Clay wants to know what happened to which Toni gives a toxic significant other answer: ”We’re just so different.” I say it’s toxic because all the things she names about Cheryl - family background, race, financial status - were fully upfront and known and contributed to why she pursued Cheryl in the first place (according to Lizzo). Clay calls bullshit on it immediately - that it’s not ‘impossible’ to date someone who is very different (i.e. white, if you’re black) from you. Toni really needs writers for her upcoming journal so she graciously concedes his point about how “everything is a conversation” (when what she has been doing to Cheryl this whole time is making demands, ignoring refusals, and now, issuing unilateral decisions), but then needles him back with the fact that both Kevin and Clay are preppies. “I guess it depends on how much you like the person,” is Clay’s retort.

They’re actually fighting while making really sweet faces at each other. Clay is very interesting.

Tabitha, who is dating the show’s officially strange person, and the one that freaked everyone out weeks ago in this universe with his nutty theory about comets and the future and the internet etc, says absolutely nothing. Did she know both Clay and Toni were gay? I can’t tell if she’s just mulling over what they said or she’s in over her head and this is stunned silence.

At the theater, Veronica is stalking Clay, who isn’t there. She asks Kevin where Clay is, so Kevin has had enough. He calls her a slut first (because of course he would - “You’re coming on really strong”) but then Kevin says a correct thing: “Is that really appropriate [given that he works for you]?” Veronica thinks there is “nothing wrong with a little workplace flirtation.” Um. So Kevin (???!??! wtf wtf??) is like, literally decades ahead of his time (the COINAGE of the phrase sexual harassment wasn’t until the late 70s by the very great legal scholar Catherine MacKinnon who is a personal hero of mine and in a direct connection - not really- to this episode visited S. Korea in 2019 where I got to meet her at a talk she gave). All because he wants to safeguard his boyfriend. Anyway, not only is this the They Say the Word Korean Too Many Times For My Comfort episode, this is also the episode where all the gay people come out to someone. Kevin outs Clay first (without asking, and in a fit of pique, which is so shitty) and then himself, to Veronica.

Oh but not before he’s hateful to a beautiful woman first. When Veronica dejectedly notes that Clay “isn’t remotely interested” he answers in the most swinish way possible: “He’s not. I know that for a fact.” Have I mentioned enough times that I hate Kevin? I do. I hate Kevin.

Veronica does a huge about face to say that “she knew” both Clay and Kevin were gay. I think she’s lying. I might give her the point that she knew Kevin was gay (from all the obsessive Singing in the Rain watching, which is really about looking at Gene Kelly’s ass) but Clay? She didn’t.

Anyway she adjusts to reality really fast, thinking swiftly on her feet when Kevin confronts her with, “If you knew that, why would you make a play for Clay?” to retort that it was all to test her hypothesis, “of course.” She can’t sustain the lie, however, because her bored horniness takes over. The immediately next thing she does is to ask if Clay could possibly ever be bisexual. I really doubt Kevin has ever asked Clay this, but he states that “he doesn’t” before presuming to answer a question that Veronica did not ask - he includes himself when he says “we” don’t swing both ways. Veronica lies again and says that she was only ‘double checking.’

Her disappointment is so crushing that she turns into Mae West. She makes up some gibberish - that it’s better to have “hunky friends who are boys” than a hunky boyfriend. I’m not at all this type of woman (the old skool term for this is a double whammy of homophobic misogyny so I won’t use that word here) so maybe I’m missing something, but if Betty Cooper’s experience in this universe is anything to go by, Kevin is no friend to any woman because he hates women. Being homosexual doesn’t do anything to ameliorate his misogyny - in fact, it makes it much, much worse. He’s disgusted by female human bodies. Stay the hell away, Veronica!

Veronica in her disassociated Mae West persona is too much for Kevin to handle at this moment. She claims to have had more fun with the “Toni and Tab” types than Dennis Hopper and Steve McQueen which can’t possibly be true if you’re a woman attracted to men. Like COME ON (Tab is Tab Hunter, and I guess Anthony Perkins is Toni?). I Have got to hand it to Veronica for having a can-do spirit about everything. “This hick down is finally starting to feel like home,” she says, in the immediately aftermath of being told that the guy she’s been panting after for weeks and weeks will never be interested. Kevin seems moved, but since I hate Kevin, I don’t care.

At basketball practice, Julian has an announcement: Tomorrow is the “Bulldog Booster Basketball Mixer.” We know that it couldn’t possibly have been Julian who came up with this mouthful of a title - it has Cheryl stamped all over it. It’s a fundraiser to build a new gym, girls will be there, and everyone has to “dress spiffy.” Coach Fucking Frank forces Julian to issue a nastily worded invitation for Reggie in particular. All the boys are wearing the identical Chuck Taylor high-rise sneakers - is this part of the Blossom sponsorship?

Reggie I guess always stays later than everyone else to practice a bit more (and to avoid Julian), because when he heads into the locker room the only one there is Archie. Archie tries to get Reggie to commit to coming to the mixer (“They’re always a gas and a half!”). Reggie shuts him down forthwith.

In an echo of Mad Dog Munroe from the OG timeline, Reggie of 1955 wants to get a scholarship for college through his sports skills. Archie is wearing yellow to show his, uh, solidarity I guess with Reggie. (I rarely recall Archie in yellow, but also I am cranky now from all this unprecedented history research I’m being made to do.) Archie really, really, truly, desperately, like a WHOLE LOT wants to be friends with Reggie, not just roommate and host. He wants to know why Reggie can’t “cut loose a little.” He even tries to gloss the turd that Julian laid with his reluctant invitation, upgrading what Julian said (“We’ll be welcoming our newest Bulldog to the family, I suppose”) to “you’re the guest of honor.” Reggie refuses to go along to get along. In response to being called “naive,” Archie calls Reggie “a killjoy.” He wants Reggie to meet Riverdale’s Bulldogs “halfway.” This turns out to be a trigger for Reggie to tell his story.

Oh, before he tells his story he correctly points out that outside of Archie, who is tone deaf and determined to not see any unpleasantness even as it’s right in his face, nobody else has taken any sort of step towards him.

Bret (who is also alive - yay! - and a basketball player in this universe) of Stonewall Prep put up a hugely labor intensive prank of getting a really big bag of rice into Reggie’s locker, tearing it halfway open and then wedging it so that as soon as Reggie opens the door an avalanche of cascades from it all over the floor. He also concocted some sort of mean line (“You guys like rice” and “Enough to take back to the farm” and also “Yellow belly” which is kind of funny actually - if someone called me Yellow Belly I’d laugh, but I suppose any of the actually on-point racist epithets aren’t allowed on American television). The sheer amount of effort that something like this takes marks people who are bullies to be absolutely psychotic. Bret and Co. basically ran Reggie out of the school. Reggie in the OG universe felt safe telling Archie his most painful secrets (back then they were about his father who was openly abusive to the passive observation of everyone else in town, which is also a sort of racist reaction - “Those people are just like that” - which, no we are not). Reggie is so hurt. He’s determined to not “give anyone a chance to humiliate” him “ever again.”

OK so this is a great character moment for Reggie, but of course, people of color having to relive their most wounding moments of racist trauma in a way that feels sufficiently authentic, and/or literally bare their broken bodies (i.e. the open casket photo of Emmet Till which started this season) for the edification of single special white persons is a racist trope which keeps getting regurgitated as being meaningful in American popular culture. This time, Archie is the special white person. Plus, instead of just being ashamed of their appalling ignorance, the white person always gets to have their say according to the trope, which Archie does here as well. (“We’re not like that here.”) Reggie though gets the final word, which is very nice; “Aren't you?”

Wounded Reggie is wearing the navy jersey top. Wounded Cheryl is wearing a violet-navy long coat, with red accents (gloves, collar, shoes, file folder, patent leather shoulder bag) as she descends the steps of the school. Can we just talk about how hard it is to get the exact same shade of anything for an outfit like this, nevermind red, and across so many different articles of dress? I covet the coat and the bag, especially.

Toni is waiting for her. The way she says “hello” like a scared little cat filled me with tenderness. This season’s highlight of Cheryl’s essential softness has been wonderful for me. Cheryl says she’s being “stoic and strong for the sake of” the Vixens. Toni doesn’t really pretend to care about that. Instead she directly asks for money. Toni sells the journal idea to Cheryl as “a way to express ourselves on our own terms.” Cheryl indicates that she’s all for it, but that Featherhead might nix it.

Because Toni is doing this social justice type thing but the only three black students with actually speaking parts are all dating white people and there is a statistically anomalous over representation of not-straights, the show has a black extra stand on the steps of the school to show that there are indeed other black students. His legs stay in view the entire time Toni and Cheryl are talking .

Cheryl even volunteers to bake for a fundraising bake sale, if it comes to it.

Cheryl then asks if she was dumped for being white. Toni says yes, which is very brutal. I have no idea what the hell this is supposed to indicate because um, what is wrong with Toni? Did she somehow discover that she is more black than she thought? But she’s dated not-black women before, no? Her and Lizzo are exes, right?

At the fundraiser mixer thing at the Blossoms, a mixed race couple (a white man and a black woman) pointedly walk across the screen. Fangs is posing for Midge, which Cheryl intercepts by hauling Midge off screen as the camera moves on in one long take towards ARchie, who is hanging out at the food spread. The Blossoms own what looks like an enormous oil painting based off of an Audubon print. Why that bird and why this shot I don’t know. Betty approaches him for a chat.

When asked how being a Vixen is going, Betty says that she’s been forced into it by Werther, who thought it would “burn off excess energy.” They both agree that adults are really stupid about the fact that becoming more cardio-fit doesn’t actually make you LESS horny. Plus the outfits and all the looking at boys in short shorts? How exactly would this make Betty not think about getting naked with boys? Betty tries to tell Archie that there’s a weird system of “taking care” of basketball players on the cheerleading squad but Archie is not listening at all. Oh- by the by - now that Toni is off the squad, does this mean Archie is the one boy without an assigned cheerleader?

Anyway, drawn by the power of recessive genes, Archie has made eye contact with Clifford Blossom. He is summoned to the circle of people of the inner sanctum at this party - the Blossom parents, Julian, Uncle Fucking Frank and one more dude whom I don’t know named Dennis. Penelope is wearing the most extraordinarily unflattering terrible dress of all time. I am so fascinated. It’s a long dress with sewn on details all down both sides from the waist to ankle mimicking the effect of a hoop skirt, making the extremely narrow and petite Penelope look as wide as a barn door.

Clifford Blossom wants to discuss Reggie, his “secret weapon.” Clifford, with Julian behind him, says that being forced to share a room with Reggie is a “sacrifice” that he appreciates Archie for being willing to take on. Archie is “cranked” to do it. Dennis says he wouldn’t be able to tolerate such a thing, having to “bunk with a…..” [Korean yellow belly? Lol why does that sound like a species of bird or fish?] Penelope chimes in saying that having Reggie around is “a necessary evil.” Clifford Blossom is obsessed with winning. Oh and he was also a former Bulldog basketball player. He then turns to Frank to say that he was initially skeptical of bringing on a “Korean prodigy.” Clifford is offended by Reggie’s absence, even though he finds what he’s seen of Reggie’s basketball skills very impressive. Archie, possibly because he had that talk with Reggie earlier or maybe because the recessive gene holders communicate better with each other, realizes that he needs to say the right things to Clifford Blossom and tries to appease him, by saying that Reggie “doesn’t want to fall behind on his schoolwork,” which is why he’s not here at this party kissing Clifford’s ass. Clifford, intending that this message be conveyed by Archie, threatens Reggie that if he doesn’t keep smiling while bringing home the championship trophy, there will be “trouble for his family.”

Why? Why will there be trouble for his family? What is Reggie’s father? Are both his parents illegal immigrants? (But how was his father able to enlist for the army?) Is this something to do with his mother’s status? Did they break anti miscegenation laws? WHAT?

Dennis smiles evilly at this threat, but it has no teeth because I have no idea why it’s threatening. Archie is perturbed enough to take his leave right then. We scan to Cheryl, having overheard this entire exchange, also look quite upset.

At the movie theater, Veronica is very pleased to see Reggie. She needles him right away, and he banters right back - I thought you didn’t like movies vs I didn’t say that, I just said my town didn’t have a movie theater. Why oh why is Veronica so desperate though? She hits on Reggie in the most nakedly fishing-for-compliments way. And why oh why are these dudes so brutal to her? Reggie bluntly says he didn’t even remember he might run into Veronica at this theater. Forgot all about her. What the hell.

Veronica rewards his churlishness with free popcorn. 1955 Veronica being overly generous to whatever boy she is interested in is upsetting to me the way 2020 Adult Veronica was never not drinking liquor. When Kevin points out that what Reggie just said was quite rude (as though he himself did any better? Hypocrite.) Veronica says this about Reggie:

“Take a powder, Herman Melville, because that is the real Moby Dick.”

I’ve already made the post about how this is a joke about Asian Dick Size. But also, a second layer of this is that she called an Asian guy a Great White Whale.

Meanwhile, Jughead has taken Tabitha all the way back to his home that Veronica has fixed up for him for free.

Actually the line progression is very hilarious:

“... that is the real Moby dick.”

[pinging music]

Tabitha’s voice: “Wow this is like the Orient Express!”

So they managed to work the word “Orient” in here I guess. Well done. Tabitha has brought Jughead a book gift. “Darkwater: Voices from Within the Veil by WEB Du Bois.” Jughead pronounces it Du-Bwah, which Tabitha corrects as Du-Boyz. We’re not allowed to make a pun about Du Bois I guess, like call him Trois Bois. Jughead is impressed with the title, so Tabitha tells him to read “The Comet” first since he likes science fiction. She describes the actual real story written by Du Bois, which is “one of the first times an interracial relationship has been depicted in science fiction.” She wants to read it aloud together with her new white boyfriend. Jughead looks entranced by the twitchy cuteness of Tabitha as she suggests this activity.

Archie has come back home to find Reggie reading Super Duck(written by Jughead??) on his bed. Reggie wants to know if the cheerleaders looked pretty at the mixer, but Archie is too burdened by the choice of whether to convey Clifford Blossom’s threat to Reggie, and opts the path of least resistance. He doesn't convey the message, and skips out on further discussion about the event with Reggie. Reggie seems to take this as a dismissal of his overture which is intended as an apology and a gesture of friendship.

The next day, Julian is being obnoxious at the basketball practice. Uncle Fucking Frank is ‘in a meeting’ so Julian runs warm up, to bully the shit out of Reggie. At some point he calls Reggie “Banana Boy” which is another ridiculous epithet. I kind of wish they would either not address the fact that hate speech exists or just use the actual examples because this and Yellow Belly just aren’t cutting enough. In any case, Reggie reacts like he’s been called a proper slur. Reggie refuses to pass the ball to Julian, instead giving it to Archie. Archie, however, decides to um, White Knight the situation. He punches Julian so hard he knocks him flat on the ground.

I mean, it can’t be that hard, because Jughead Jones managed to do this on behalf of Ethel Muggs. But the violence startles Fangs and Dilton on the bench, and Reggie grimaces because he just wants to get his NCAA scholarship and get out of this general area.

Archie gives an anti-racism speech to his teammates about Reggie, based on Reggie’s merits. Merits based arguments in service of anti-racism only feed the racism, so I’m not sure this is better for Reggie’s life than just not saying anything. Moreover, in a very strange move, whoever directed this decided to have a black extra stand next to a white one as the main 2 people that Archie appears to be directing his speech at (Julian is still flat on the ground). Um. The look that the black student gives Archie can only be described as disassociated. Archie says that if any player can’t get on board with being true teammates and supporting Reggie be his excellent self, they are free to leave. He even tells Julian “that includes you, too, captain.”

Meanwhile, at the offices of the Blue and Gold, with the world “Gold” in huge font right behind her head, Cheryl hands Toni a check. It sounds like she’s committed a form of embezzlement, diverting funds that were originally intended for something else, on her own cognizance, without Featherhead final approval. Even though Cheryl took a huge personal risk, her toxic ex girlfriend Toni does not give a shit. She even shittily helps herself to a ‘plausible deniability’ option (“Well I won’t ask any more questions.”). Cheryl is so disappointed.

Toni stops her just as she’s about to step out the door, to ask what her plans are after cheerleading practice. Oh Cheryl. She’s twisting her hands, almost breaking them off the stem, when she tells Toni she doesn’t have plans, because she is so hopeful. Toni asks her out on another date. “About what it would mean if we tried again.” Cheryl is so happy her eyes are tearing up, but I hate this. It reads to me just like Toni has realized she has more ways she can use Cheryl than just for the power trip of bringing someone out and taking their virginity.

Meanwhile, Reggie and Archie are sitting together in the boys’ locker room. “I didn’t sock Julian for you,” he says, confirming that that is indeed what he was doing. He’s had a realization, he seems to say, that Riverdale is “just as messed up as any other place.” Then he says the pivotal thing, the only true thing he can say with any conviction: “I don’t know.”

In a weird reward for his outburst of violence, Reggie accepts the friendship overture at last, asking of Archie wants to grab a burger “on the way home.” This is as sour to me as Toni wanting to restart things with Cheryl only after she has the check in hand. Archie says sure.

Jughead has stayed up all night reading the “Comet” story (about a comet hitting NYC and only two people surviving) and talking about it with Tabitha. Why can’t we at least get a montage of this? Why do all the important Tabitha things have to happen OFF screen?

In any case, because the experience was so “swell” he runs immediately to his adopted daddy to tell him all about it. When he gets to Rayberry’s apartment, however, he is told by Sheriff Keller that Rayberry has killed himself. (They are just now covering the body on the gurney with a sheet). “I can no longer continue living this way.” Jughead is deeply upset. Keller is kind enough to say he is sorry because he knows Jughead was friends with Rayberry.

#riverdale #riverdale recap #riverdale opinion #too many thoughts about riverdale #but this time I've gone too far #riverdale ep 7.8 #if you say the word Korean in your show once too many times you summon a korean reaction which is a whole LOT of reaction

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