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beauty-and-passion · 7 months

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Selfishness v. Selflessness: Deceit’s reasons

And then, we finally reached the last episode of Sanders Sides.

Or what was the last official episode, until recently Mr. Sanders finally realized that hey, the Asides are following the main plot, maybe it’s time to consider them official episodes and not Asides.

And so, he changed the titles. If you check FWSA and DWIT now, you will find that their names are not followed by the title “Sanders Asides” anymore, but “Sanders Sides”.

While the infamous plushie episode which angered everyone because it was nothing more than an ad, magically became and Aside episode:

What can I say? Better late than ever, Mr. Sanders. This wouldn’t have happened at all if you planned everything from the start, you know that, right?

Oh, and in case you haven’t noticed: maybe you should also take FWSA and DWIT away from the Sanders Asides playlist. You know, just to keep it organized.

But let’s come back to Selfishness v. Selflessness: this was the first episode I ever wrote about - even if at the time it wasn’t a full analysis, but rather just some random, scattered thoughts. And they weren’t enough, because there is still a lot of stuff to talk about! Hence why, this post was needed.

This post will clarify a couple things I previously talked about, starting from the whole Wroammin thing which (sadly) turned out to be wrong. It can even be considered part of a triptych: THIS is the first part, THIS is the second one and the post you’re reading is the third and final part. Hope you will enjoy it and, as always, if you have anything else to add feel free to do it.

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Why did Deceit appear?

[Logan]: -pops up- Eh... Speaking for someone is a disagreeable practice, Patton. If Thomas would rather go to the wedding, then I, the brilliant Logan, think we should hear it straight from the horse's mouth. Thomas, the floor is yours. Wedding or callback?

My gosh, this man isn’t even trying. First, he drops a character lie (“I, the brilliant Logan”) which is the exact same kind of lie he used the first time. Then he uses two idioms in a row. And scolds Patton in the meantime (“Speaking for someone is a disagreeable practice, Patton”).

I suppose he just wanted to appear, but he couldn’t do it without being ✨ dramatique ✨

But now your question could be: why did he appear? Well, as I anticipated in the analysis of CLBG, Mr. Sanders explained in a tweet that Character!Thomas’ relationship with Lee and Mary Lee is as strong as the one with Joan. Once again, a very strong relationship is at risk. And, this time, there’s also an event that might bring a major change in Thomas’ life. Everything basically requested Deceit’s presence.

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The dark sides are all anime tsundere girls

[Deceit]: Virgil's very right. You can't trust me! It's not like I'm trying to look out for you or anything.

[Anxiety]: He thinks he’s so great. Well, he is not! Look, I’m just trying to look out for him. (Taking on ANXIETY)

Okay, jeez, fine, you definitely don’t know each other and you’re definitely not father and son. That’s all a huge coincidence, I surely believe that.

Now I can’t wait to see Orange saying: “it’s not like I’m looking out for you, baka!” to Thomas, then I can close everything and disappear forever 😂

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“He's against Nazis”

[Thomas]: ... Alright, he can stay. [Patton]: Hm? [Roman]: -incredulous laughter- Ah, wait, seriously? [Thomas]: Sounds like he's against Nazis, so... Why not hear him out? You know? [Virgil]: That... cannot be where the bar is!

I just love this part too much and it cracks me up everything. Remember, kids: you can be a snek, but if you’re against nazis, then everything is okay. I can’t wait for the moment Thomas will try to send Remus and Orange away, only for them to reply that, hey, they’re against Nazis too, so they deserve to stay! And Thomas will let them stay.

And then we will reach the lowest bar in the world and everything will be perfect.

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“Social engagement”

[Deceit]: Well, the bar for skipping an important opportunity should be higher than a... social engagement. [Patton]: Come on, a wedding is more than just a social engagement! [Virgil]: He knows that.

Of course he knows that, he bears the name of a god who presides over weddings. Which yes, it’s hilarious and I love it.

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Same area of expertise

[Patton]: What is this wacky talk? I- You don't mean any of this. I'm your morality, I wouldn't be here if you did! [Thomas]: Right, right. Yeah, you're right. I- I don't mean that. [Patton]: And Roman, I thought you fought for honor! Why are you pushing Thomas to be dishonest?

Deceit knows what Thomas truly wants and it’s to go to the wedding. However, two sentences from Patton were enough to make him understand that:

Patton is the one who is truly in charge

Patton’s ideas are strong enough to influence Thomas

Thomas could change his mind because of them

Roman desperately wants to go to the wedding

Roman could change his mind because of Patton

And so, Deceit intervenes and makes Patton aware of something: sure his presence means Thomas still thinks about his morals… but he’s not the only one here:

[Deceit]: Do you know who else is here? Me! So perhaps, Thomas... isn't so innocent. [Patton]: Well... Nobody's perfect... Except for Thomas! He loves his friends! [Deceit]: You can defend him all you like... But you can't change the facts. Is Thomas an innocent little lamb? Let's let them be the judge of that.

And with this, Deceit:

proved he’s Thomas’ Side and not a random guy. He is a Side, just like all of them and he won’t go anywhere.

brought up the problem that will be solved in POF - i.e. Patton’s view of Thomas as a perfect, innocent boy.

moved the entire problem to a higher, moral level. This isn’t just a “choosing wedding or callback” problem anymore: this is Deceit’s way to prove Thomas’ fallibility and humanity.

And he wants to prove it to Patton. And if Thomas is confused about all of this, Patton is not:

[Thomas]: Um, I'm a little confused as to what this is all about. [Patton]: Basically, Deceit is trying to prove that you care more about yourself than your friends, but don't worry, kiddo, we'll show him.

Again: the supposedly stupid guy immediately understood what Deceit was trying to prove and followed him in his reasoning. Because, in case it wasn’t clear enough, these two work in the same area of expertise.

And if you need another confirmation that these two are a lot more similar than it seems:

[Deceit]: He's clearly manipulating the witness into doing what he thinks is best. Wait a minute. Who was it that was called a Scooby-Doo villain for doing the exact same thing? Oh, yeah! It was me... disguised as Patton.

So not only Deceit confirmed Patton isn’t perfect, but they are similar enough, he can do what Patton does and there would be no difference.

These two work in the same field and they’ve been hinting it here all the time, before clearly stating it in POF.

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Multiple arms

I forgot about this detail and thought that the multiple arms thing Remus brought up was a metaphor. Well… maybe it wasn’t. Maybe the noodle snek really has six arms.

This goddamn man, he really has one arm for each Side. And he probably uses them to smack the Sides in the head/stop them from doing something stupid. I love him.

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An attempt at maturity

[Thomas]: And that's what you stand for. Truth. [Patton]: But I don't know what's true at this point. I just know what I want to be true. I want to believe you're an honest person... but... Deceit's right! He's here... and that means something. [Thomas]: Are you serious? I- I've been following your lead this whole time. I'm in the dark here, Patton, and I need something to light my way! [Patton]: I'm sorry... b-but... I don't know the way. [Thomas]: I don't want to be a bad person. [Patton]: Okay, then I'll do whatever I can to make sure you're not.

Do you know what is this? This is the moment that led to POF.

Patton was getting Deceit’s message. He was starting to understand Thomas isn’t perfect. He even admitted he didn’t know the answer.

But Thomas was too scared, too afraid of being seen as a bad person. And so, Patton had a choice: to side with Deceit, accept that his morals have been too extreme and guide Thomas by giving him a more mature, multifaceted understanding… or doing POF:

[Patton]: Like I told you before, sometimes... I don't know the way. But... When I told you that, you were so scared. I couldn't bear it. So I said to myself... "Alright, Patton. Thomas needs you. You're responsible for his morality. You can never not have an answer for him." And then I promised you I'd keep fighting. Unfortunately... I learned the hard way that... giving too simple of answers to complicated questions... can do more harm than good.

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Virgil’s interrogation

[Deceit]: -chuckles- Very well. As Thomas' anxiety, do you have any relevant information about his norepinephrine levels in regards to these two conflicting commitments?

I’m pretty sure someone already said something about this hormone back when the episode came out, but I don’t remember - also, I found this very interesting paragraph from Wikipedia I would like to share:

“The general function of norepinephrine is to mobilize the brain and body for action. Norepinephrine release is lowest during sleep, rises during wakefulness, and reaches much higher levels during situations of stress or danger, in the so-called fight-or-flight response. In the brain, norepinephrine increases arousal and alertness, promotes vigilance, enhances formation and retrieval of memory, and focuses attention; it also increases restlessness and anxiety.”

As you can see, Virgil’s two main functions are both involved in this hormone. And norepinephrine has a spike during stressful situations - like, you know, choosing between a callback or a wedding.

But the mention of this particular hormone implies something else. Something very important, that will connect with the second part of this conversation.

Deceit mentioned an incredibly specific hormone and, by doing that, he proved how well he knows Virgil. He doesn’t know just his roles, but even the effects he has on a chemical level. It’s a bit like the difference between knowing your colleague from their job and knowing how many miles they can run on the weekends. It implies a much closer relationship.

Also, since he asked how high the levels of norepinephrine are, that means he knows Virgil is stressed. He knows this situation makes him more anxious and, with his questions, he wants to prove to Virgil (and to everyone else) that he is anxious because he knows what Thomas wants: to skip the wedding and go to the callback.

[Virgil]: I think it's ridiculous that anyone is entertaining any of this. Guys, he's a liar. You literally know him as Deceit. [Deceit]: Glass houses, Virgil. You yourself said that you are not a beacon of truth.

The famous “You literally know him as Deceit” line is a clear reply to Deceit’s question about norepinephrine. It’s Virgil’s way to say that yes, he knows him extremely well too. The others “know him as Deceit”, but he knows Deceit for who he is.

And, okay, now that’s probably me looking too much into things again, but the way Deceit replied by saying that he’s not always right and shaking his finger… it’s almost like a warning. A (maybe unconscious) way to say to Virgil to not reveal more, because he’s not always right.

And to further prove his point, he proceeds with a subtle threat:

[Deceit]: Oh, so you've never been reluctant to share anything with the group, then? [Virgil]: Don't. [Deceit]: What? I just meant your name. [Virgil]: Don't! [Deceit]: Maybe that's why it's so easy for you to recognize me for what I am. Like I said before... it takes a liar to know a liar.

And with that, Deceit proved to Virgil that:

He knows what he’s hiding from the group (i.e. that he was one of the Others)

He knows him extremely well, because he knows Virgil doesn’t want to talk about it yet

He has the upper hand, because if Virgil says something, he can immediately drop his secret and screw Virgil’s position in Thomas’ eyes.

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An unexpected help

So, after threatening his son and showing how much of a villain Deceit can be, what does Patton do?

He pushes him to show his soft side, by forcing him to reveal his agenda.

[Patton]: You... always seem to have some... bigger plan. Some... agenda. [Deceit]: Doesn't everyone? [Patton]: Well, not everyone is so secretive... about theirs. [Deceit]: Everything has a purpose, and sometimes fulfilling your purpose requires keeping things close to the chest. [Patton]: Well, you're under oath, which I think means you gotta tell us. Why the courtroom scenario? Why pick a setting where... uh, the truth comes to hang out?

As soon as Patton had the chance to ask him a question, he immediately ignored the wedding/callback thing and went straight to the point. And it makes sense, because the point of their conversation is a bit more important than a single choice.

Patton wants to know what this Side is trying to do. And when Deceit brought the conversation to a higher level by talking about society, Patton brought him back to the main topic: Thomas. What does Deceit want to do with Thomas?

And by forcing him to be a little more honest, Patton helped him. He helped Deceit to drop some of his convoluted plans, to clearly say he cares about Thomas.

[Patton]: Okay... What does any of this have to do with Thomas? [Deceit]: I don't want Thomas to be disadvantaged in a world where you can die for not following the laws made in the name of a lie.

That’s why I always say Patton is incredibly mature. He’s working against Deceit, they are literally against each other in this courtroom scenario… and yet, he helped him. He gave him a chance to show his soft side, to prove he’s not a bad guy. And to tell how useful he can be! A bit like “an inner coach that acts with the intention of self-preservation”, as Patton said in CLBG.

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Always and forever on Thomas' side

[Deceit]: Look, the point is, Thomas is an unconscious egoist and this dilemma is actually between something that serves him versus something else that serves him. Between looking and feeling like a good friend and a dream come true. If Thomas wanted to be seen as a good friend more than he wanted the role of a lifetime, well then I'm all for that. But I just don't buy it.

This part is extremely interesting, because Deceit said both choices are something Thomas wants. From one side, there’s personal gratification (Thomas wanting to be a good friend), from the other there’s personal fulfillment (Thomas doing something he loves). They are both selfish wants, in a way. So, if all Deceit cared about were selfish wants, he would have no problem with them. This whole courtroom scenario wouldn’t take place at all.

Be he has a problem because he wants what Thomas wants. And since Thomas is denying his want to do a different thing… well, that required Deceit’s intervention. As he said: if Thomas wanted to go to the wedding, he would’ve accepted that choice. He doesn’t care about Lee’s feelings, just like he didn’t care about Joan’s feelings in CLBG. The only feelings that matter for Deceit are Thomas’.

And only when Thomas finally admits his want, Deceit is satisfied.

[Thomas]: Fine! I want to go to the callback! I was planning on playing Word Crush on my phone during the wedding ceremony to keep my mind off the fact that I'm single. I don't want to go! I'm afraid to go. And on top of that, a dream come true fell into my lap scheduled on the same day. Anyone would want to go to the callback! So, yeah. I tried to force myself to forget about the wedding, and now I want to lie to my friends, so they don't hate me for not supporting them. I'm a liar. I'm a liar.

Deceit put on a whole courtroom, just to force Thomas to be more honest. This alone would be enough to prove he’s not just the embodiment of lies, but I suppose the correlation “snek = liar” was stronger than 200 proofs, so Roman did the wrong thing and made a choice no one wanted.

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A mature Side

[Roman]: It's my sworn duty to help Thomas achieve his hopes and dreams. But Thomas wouldn't dream of attaining his hopes through deceitful means. [Deceit]: But that's not true! [Virgil]: And you're a beacon of truth? [Deceit]: Oh, did I say that? I missed the part where I said that.

Please let’s focus on Deceit’s words because they are very, very interesting.

1) Deceit openly admitted his means weren’t deceitful. Just like when he asked Thomas, during the courtroom if he was “the snake come to trick you into sinning, or have you had your mind made up since the moment you received the news about the callback?”. Deceit had no intention of deceiving Thomas, from the first moment he appeared.

2) Deceit is a very mature Side. I talked about it during my POF analysis part 3, when he openly recognized his own mistakes. Here he openly admits what Thomas is having trouble admitting: that he’s not perfect. He never said he was. He never pretended to carry the truth. Even if he’s 100% right here, he still admits he’s flawed. He and Patton are truly the most mature Sides here.

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Caring and criminal

During the episode, he said that “fulfilling your purpose requires keeping things close to the chest”. And where did he keep his logo? On his chest. Even better, on his heart. What else does he have to do, to prove how deeply he loves and cares about Thomas? This man is the most caring Side.

[Deceit]: I'm not going anywhere. And there are smarter ways to get people to do what you want, anyway.

Uh, so “smarter ways to get people to do what you want” means “let’s release Remus”?

You know what? That really was a smarter way. With one decision, he introduced Remus, proved he’s harmless and even useful, showed Thomas that ignoring his needs leads to an increment of his intrusive thoughts and confirmed that he was right and Thomas should’ve listened to him.

This man is a criminal and I love him.

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Why Logan can’t work in the moral area

[Logan]: It's still difficult to believe that my participation was as restricted as it was. It was Deceit's doing, I'm sure. I would have been a more than worthy foil. Unlike him, I'm skeptical about whether a society could function without some sort of system of laws by which all of its citizens abide.

Oh Logan, you huge nerd. I love you, but this is why you don’t work in Deceit’s and Patton’s same area of expertise.

Deceit’s whole monologue about society wasn’t practical, but moral. He didn’t say “we should surrender to anarchy”, nor presented a point about why rules are bad: he said society is a concept and we all collectively choose to believe this concept was true. He talked about how scary the concept of society is. And he clearly saw it on a moral level, not a practical one.

And yes, we can add this to the list of reasons why Logan was pushed in the back: just imagine if, instead of talking with Patton, the other moral side, who was incredibly quick to get his points and ask him about his agenda, we got Logan: a neutral Side, more interested to practical things than metaphorical/moral ones. Deceit would’ve spent most of the time rephrasing everything and the conversation would’ve been just about this choice, rather than a multilayered conversation about selfishness, selflessness, Thomas’ fallibility, and choices in general.

Deceit needed Patton as interlocutor and he needed to remove the cold, straight logic from a conversation that was mostly about morals and emotions: two areas Logan is not an expert about - as he will admit in POF.

[Logan]: Well, determining what feels right or wrong for you isn't really my area of expertise.

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Truly taking care aka the wedding from Lee and Mary Lee’s perspective

[Patton]: Well, here's the thing, kiddo. People hurt all the time. By going to the wedding, you're making sure that two of your friends aren't hurt by the absence of someone they really care about.

Okay, time to put the most cynical part of me here.

Patton’s words are cute and nice and everything… but seriously. Come on.

Just imagine being the bride or the groom: you spent the previous days, weeks and months organizing for this event. Locations, entertainment, ceremony and everything. Then the day comes and you want to be 200% sure everything goes as smoothly as planned. You have people coming to ask you about this or that detail. You have to be sure your dress/make-up is okay, your best men/bridesmaids are okay, the photograph is here, the meal is good, the place is ready, the staff is preparared.

And, when it’s time, you have the ceremony, the people to greet, photos to take, meals, events, dances and so on.

Do you really, REALLY think that Lee and Mary Lee would be so devastated by Thomas’ absence? I’ve never been married, but I really doubt that one missing guest (and not a best man or a bridesmaid or another important guest: just a guest) would have made them feel so devastated. Weddings are huge, stressful events, a ton of things happen and the newlyweds barely have time to eat, let alone feel devastated by a missing guest.

And I would like to repeat that: a guest. Thomas didn’t play any important role. He wasn’t supposed to be Lee’s best man or anything else. He was just a guest.

Do you know what it would’ve happened, if Thomas skipped the wedding? That Lee and Mary Lee would’ve thought “Oh, Thomas didn’t come”, to completely forget about it two seconds later, because someone else would’ve called them to do something else.

And no, going anyway isn’t a question of empathy, but of naiveness - and egoism too. Thomas himself proved it in POF, when he showed his frustration, because he wanted a little more than a “hello”. He literally wanted them to throw him a party, just for coming! Who would ever think the newlyweds would give a damn about them, on such a huge day? No one, except for a very egoistical, naive person: egoistical enough to think they are the only one who matters, naive enough to think the bride and the groom have time to do a party for them. That’s childish, immature and very selfish, not empathetic.

Do you want to know what Character!Thomas could’ve done, if he wanted to show some empathy? Skip the wedding.

Think about it. What would’ve been better? Thomas moping around and not enjoying himself, thus ruining the party for everyone else… or Thomas not appearing at all and letting everyone enjoy the party? Which choice is the most empathetic? Call me a bad person, but I think the second one would’ve been a better way to care about other people’s feelings.

Also because Lee and Mary Lee noticed it:

[Lee]: Really? 'Cause you're sitting alone at the reception.

And, at least to me, that’s way worse than not attending it at all. Thomas was such a buzz kill, he ruined the party for the bridal couple too. That’s literally the most selfish, bad thing he could’ve done. And only because he didn’t want to listen to the snake boy.

This event deserved to leave strong consequences. And POF is proof of how huge the impact was on Thomas’ life and how deeply things will change from now on.

( Support me on Ko-fi )

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rocketbirdie · 4 months

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A New School Hunter's Guide to Old School Monster Hunter: What to Expect

World and Rise have come and gone. These are the games that introduced you to Monster Hunter. But now that you've completed every goal you set out to achieve, there's a big 2025 sized hole in your hunting heart where Wilds may one day be. "In the meantime, why not catch up on the old MH games?" you think to yourself, blissfully unaware of the hell that you are about to subject yourself to.

Below the cut is a SUPER LONG and very dramatic post, intended for new-ish Monster Hunter players who are bored of being good at the game, and want to remember what AGONY feels like— but would rather not jump in 100% blind like I did, doomed to hilarious suffering.

Note: This post mainly refers to MHGU, but much of it applies to older MH games as well. I came from Rise, and have not played World. If I made any incorrect assumptions about games I haven't played, apologies in advance. Let me know if I made any glaring mistakes.

Also, feel free to reblog and add any more info that I missed! I am but one mortal hunter, after all.

Table of Contents, because I wasn't kidding when I said this is a super long post:

Preparing for a Quest

GATHERING TAKES FOREVER

Paintballs, and other things that aren't in the newer games for a very good reason

When the monster attacks you

When you attack the monster

Armor Skills (AAAAAAA!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAGHHHHH!! AAAAAAAHHAGHHAAHGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!)

The Desire Sensor (You Will Grind.)

No but really, you'd better have ~30 minutes set aside if you're planning on reading this whole thing in one sitting. Enjoy!

1. Preparing for a Quest

Many of the conveniences of the modern quest hub layout are nowhere to be found in old school MH games. Sure, you've got an overpriced shop, a smithy, and a quest handler all in one spot. And if you're lucky, maybe even a place to eat before the hunt. But if you want to change your equipment, save the game, or entrust your cat with an overseas trade deal, you'll likely have to do it somewhere else. And that means loading screens.

I'm telling you now, get used to the loading screens. Make sure you know what you want to do and where you need to do it, before you sit there and wait. Our spoiled Gen 5 asses are so accustomed to seamless transitions; the load times are not unreasonable, but the sheer number of interruptions will make you feel like a rabid animal gnawing at the bars of a wire cage. You'll get used to it. <- That's a phrase you're going to see a LOT in this post.

Go to your house to pick out your weapon and armor, and feast your eyes upon the horror: all of the equipment is haphazardly thrown into one box. There are no separate storage spaces for individual weapon types, meaning your sweet precious baby angel, the hammer, has to share menu real estate with the fucking light bowgun (UGH).

You cannot sort armor by head, chest, arms, etc. Want to see how your armor skills are looking? Close the box. Open the start menu. Navigate to "status," then flip through a page or two of normal, healthy stats. Find the armor skills page. Black out for a split second. Feel your heart rate spike, then immediately close out the armor skills, and decide that it's not important right now, and that you'll figure it out later.

Get your items in order. Set an item loadout if you can. Money is tight, and that won't be changing any time soon, so keep an eye on your zenny while you're shopping and smithing. Excess bones and ore are a decent source of cash if you're desperate.

I know I probably don't have to say it, but EAT! Eat something before the hunt! It increases your health and stamina bar and may grant you temporary skills. Some skills are exclusive to food, and can't be acquired via armor or decorations, so try out as many foods as you can. You'll be able to make more dishes using ingredients that you obtain as side quest rewards.

Before you set out on your quest, make absolutely certain that you have everything you might need. This is EXTREMELY important. The main camp is pretty much just there for show. (And for delivering eggs, but that's beside the point.) You cannot change your equipment or refill your items AT ALL once you're out there. If you forgot to eat, too bad, sucks to be you. And whatever weapon you bring is the only one you'll be using for that entire quest.

Alright, time to hunt! Talk to the quest handler, no, not that npc, no, that's not her either- ahem. Talk to the quest handler, aaaand yippee. 1 Star is all gathering quests. Well, at least they'll go by quickly!

2. GATHERING TAKES FOREVER

The first thing you'll notice on your first gathering quest in old school MH is that you slowly. Gather. One. Item. At a time. Maybe two if you're really striking it rich. Please for the love of all that is good, hold down the gathering button. Save yourself some time. Don't be an idiot like I was for more hours than I'm willing to admit.

YOU NEED TO GATHER. You need to gather so much, all the time, constantly. If you're not actively in combat, you should be gathering. If you're not gathering, then you should be moving to another gathering spot in order to gather more stuff. Bring a gathering palico. Hell, bring two. They are The Best type of palico, it doesn't even come close. There is no moment when you should not gather.

I can't stress this enough. Old school MH games will not just shower you with free items. Quest rewards are often pitiful, and it's safe to assume that the trader won't have what you need. Yes, gathering is slow and boring. But that's exactly why you need to weave it into every beat of downtime that the game gives you. GATHER, always. You'll thank yourself later.

You will need pickaxes to mine, and bug nets to catch bugs. These take up precious inventory space, but are well worth bringing to regular locales. If you want to fish and actually obtain something worthwhile (PLESIOTH), then you'll need to craft bait or bring some with you. And if the crafting recipes aren't listed anywhere in game, then gog help you.

There is a chance that crafting will just... not work. It'll consume the materials but spit out garbage instead of what you wanted to make. The odds of this happening can be mitigated by bringing a crafting book with you on your quest, which you can buy from a shop. But that book will take up space in your already miserably small inventory, assuming you brought sensible things along too, like potions. And a map.

Unless you have the locale memorized, you won't know where you are without the map item. In Low Rank, a map is courteously provided in the main camp's rations box, along with some field meds and food. (Don't get used to this kind of generosity. It'll be gone in High Rank and beyond.) Now that you have a map, you'll be able to see where all of the gathering spots are.......... right? RIGHT?????

WRONG. If you want to know where the spots are, you'll have to find them and then dedicate some real-life human brain memory space for that info. In some games, the gathering spots are obvious, with a big question mark that pops up when you can interact with them. In older games... uh... ha. Haha...... yeah. Good luck.

On the bright side, at least the map is good for keeping yourself safe. Y'know, because of the titular monsters. You can see the monsters on the map......... right?

Okay I'm gonna cut straight to the chase.

3. Paintballs, and other things that aren't in the newer games for a very good reason

Craft a pretty pink paintball with a paintberry and a sap plant. Equip it in your item scroll bar, and press that sexy item use button to throw it at a monster. Voila! A pink dot appears on your map. This (and psychoserum) allows you to see the monster's location.

Get into the habit of bringing multiple paintballs with you on every quest. You will miss a few throws. Also, the effect wears off after a few minutes, meaning you'll have to find the monster and hit it with another paintball again in order to keep it on the map. Be mindful of flying wyverns, who are aggravatingly hard to follow without a paintball. That includes some unexpected honorable mentions, for example Mizutsune, Zinogre, and Rajang, who can just... fly to the opposite side of the map. Yeah, I know. Don't ask.

So Zinogre has just taken to the skies. Now's a great opportunity to sharpen your weapon! If you remembered whetstones, that is. They're not an infinite resource, and they're not just automatically in your inventory. You'll have to go out of your way to obtain them and bring them with you on your hunts.

Likewise, I mentioned earlier that you need pickaxes and bug nets for gathering their respective items. What I didn't tell you is that they too are a finite resource. Pickaxes and bug nets can and will break, and you'll have to buy or craft new ones. If you're planning on doing a lot of gathering, eat for skills that reduce the likelihood of your tools breaking. It makes a huge difference.

Pay attention to what locale the quest takes place in. Some locales are hot, like Dunes and... *shudders* Volcanic Hollow. Bring cool drinks with you to hot locales, or else you'll take passive heat damage. Trust me, you do not want to be on fire the whole time you're running away from (and whiffing your attacks on) Uragaan. Ask me how I know that.

Similarly, cold locales will ruin your stamina bar over time. Hot drinks protect you from this stamina drain. Some locales, like Desert, have both hot and cold areas. Which is annoying because the drinks cancel each other out. Keep this in mind.

Don't be lured into a false sense of comfort just because you didn't forget your cool drinks. Because once you get into High Rank, there's a pretty good chance that you won't spawn at the main camp when you start a quest. One day, you will spawn right into a pool of lava, directly in a monster's line of sight, with zero time to prepare. It's okay to be a total chicken and run away screaming. After all, it is a monster, and it will attack you.

4. When the monster attacks you

I almost guarantee that your first old school hunt will leave a bitter taste in your mouth. Not bitter enough to make you instantly hate the game, but just enough to make you want to put the controller down and go outside and maybe even interact with other human beings, which is just as tragic.

Want to get some practice in with your weapon before the hunt? Well, too bad bucko, there's no training area. There may be a so-called "training quest," in which an npc barfs tutorial text onto your boots and then pits you against a real monster in an inescapable arena fight to the death, which is hilarious if you think about the in-game universe implications. Anyway. If you want to learn the in and outs of your weapon, then you'll have to do it the old fashioned way: get out there and get your ass kicked.

Great news! Getting your ass kicked is cheap, easy, and quick. Monsters' attacks will hit you like a cement truck packed with explosives speeding towards a steel wall. Even dumb little attacks like tail slaps and nibbles will take a CHUNK out of your health bar. Good thing you brought potions!

Terrible news! You are extremely vulnerable for several seconds while consuming healing items. Whether you like it or not, you will stand there in place, unable to move at all, glug, then flex your strong beautiful arms for the whole world to admire. And if the monster turns its attention towards you while you're doing this, there is nothing you can do but watch in despair as all of the health you just regained AND then some, gets torn away from you in an instant.

Don't wait until the fights get tough in order to prioritize learning monster's attack patterns. Even early on, only heal when you know for certain that it's safe to do so. Remember, it's okay to run away like a little wuss to put distance between yourself and the monster so you can use your items in peace. Hell, leave the area altogether if you have to. That being said, don't let the fight get too close to the edges of the area. Loading zones always get the last laugh.

Sooo.... hitboxes. They suck. They're bigger than they look, and they're present for longer than they should be. And some attacks have little to no tell or wind-up animation. Some monsters are just a vile conglomeration of both of these problems. (here's looking at you, Yian "You Mother Fucking Son of a Bitch" Garuga). Sigh... you'll get used to it.

If you came from Rise, getting knocked down by an attack will feel EXCRUCIATING. There is no fast way to fling yourself back onto your feet after taking a big hit. You will lie there, recoiling in pain, seething for way longer than you want— and you may even like it after a few hundred hours. Hang in there.

If a strong attack sends you flying into a wall, you'll very likely get stunned. Getting stunned is the single most dangerous thing that can happen, far worse than poison or waterblight or what have you. You can escape stun significantly faster by mashing buttons and wiggling the control stick. And I guess you could also bring the Stun Res skill, but... we'll, um, come back to that later.

WATCH OUT for pin attacks! You may very suddenly get snapped up and chewed apart like a dog toy, and it will be very bad for your health. That's why you should keep your pockets lined with literal shit. Chuck a dung bomb to escape a pin attack before the monster finishes ripping you to shreds. Dung bombs may also convince an unwanted monster to leave the area, which is great for when you'd rather not fight Gravios and Shogun Ceanataur at the same time. Which is all the time.

5. When you attack the monster

Your favorite weapon is not what you remember it being. Moves are missing, or mapped to completely different buttons. "How tf do I vault? Why won't my kinsect go where I want?? Stop shooting pheromone pellets!!!" whines the insect glaive main. "What do you mean there's no shoulder tackle?? How do I get to TCS faster????" cries the greatsword player. "Oh, ok, nothing's really changed," says the SnS main. It's a travesty, I tell you.

All of your movement is clunky. Attack timing is off. New school muscle memory is going to get you carted a lot. But hands down, the absolute most traumatizing thing is that there is no backwards dodge roll. You can dodge left, right, and forward, but never back. As a hunting horn main myself, I can assure you, this is a fate worse than hell. They say you never know love until you've loved and lost. You loved the backwards dodge roll, and soon, you'll know it.

And it gets even funnier if you play lance or gunlance— you can kiss your forward hop goodbye. Need to close the gap? Turn around, aim your squishy butt cheeks at the monster, and hop backwards towards it, expending absurd amounts of stamina in the process. Otherwise, walk slowly and threateningly towards it like the apex predator you are. Oh, and don't bother blocking attacks. It takes too much stamina, inflicts an abysmal knockback, and half of the time, you'll just get hit anyway. Guard and Guard Up are 100% necessary if you plan on using that shield. Good luck obtaining those skills, sucker.

The charge blade is somehow simultaneously more complicated and way easier to play than its modern iterations. The opposite is true of the switch axe, imo. Blunt weapons are stronger, but there's something a bit off about the way they feel. The longsword is the longsword. And as for the bowguns, I wouldn't be able to tell you, because I know better than that.

It doesn't matter what weapon you pick, because either way, you are going to develop a highly concerning dash juice dependency.

Take advantage of every tool the game provides. The usual stuff like barrel bombs, traps, and ballistae are indispensably helpful. But there are other familiar mechanics that are way more useful in old school MH than they are in newer games. That includes invading monsters (DEVILJHO!!), who will indiscriminately attack you AND the monster you're hunting, inadvertently aiding your hunt without you needing to wyvern ride or seek out a turf war. Jump off of ledges to rack up mounting damage in gen 4 games, which may reward you with a free knockdown (if you can mash fast enough)!

Monster's movements are janky, and this is in your favor. Get good at "head sniping" the monster as they turn around in 90 degree increments. Don't get greedy during small opportunities. Remember, monsters can go from t-posing, straight to crushing you to death, with zero wind-up animation.

There are no damage numbers when you land a hit. This may spoil the instant gratification factor of the game for a while. If you're a greatsword main, you will suffer from withdrawals due to Big Number Addiction. But over time you'll realize that it's actually fantastic, because now you're less obsessed with landing the super big awesome attack on the ultra weak spot for maximum damage. Instead, you'll find yourself savoring every little hit you manage to land. It'll be better for your cardiovascular health in the long run.

That's a good analogy for the entire new school to old school pipeline: it sucks A LOT for a long time, then gets really, really good later on once you get over the "Gen 5 stages of grief." Listen, you will have an abusive relationship with this game. It took me 80 HOURS before I could actually say with confidence that I liked MHGU more than I disliked it. Not that I loved it, but merely that I didn't hate it. 80 real life hours. That's... probably not good, but whatever.

There is one thing that I don't think I'll ever learn to love, though. And that's...

6. Armor Skills (AAAAAAA!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAGHHHHH!! AAAAAAAHHAGHHAAHGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!)

Face it. You will never, ever, ever be as powerful as you are in World or Rise. You will not have your maxxed out attack and affinity boosting skills plus the comfy stuff like Flinch Free and Stun Res all at the same time. Not in Low Rank, not in High Rank, and not quite in G Rank either. Here's why.

Skills have tiers as usual. But now, they also have thresholds. For example, you want the skill Speed Eating +1, then you'll need 10 points in the Eating skill. If you're even one point short, then the skill will not activate. But Speed Eating +1 doesn't increase your potion glugging speed... if you want that to happen, then you'll need to add 5 more points, for a total of 15, to activate Speed Eating +2. This is true for every skill, and is way easier said than done.

Some skills will feel nerfed big time, like Handicraft. You'll almost never see purple sharpness without Handicraft +2. On the other hand, Crit Draw is a one tier skill that gives you a flat 100% affinity boost on every draw attack. Which is absolutely busted.

Wearing a single piece of armor will provide a few points towards a given skill. If the armor has slots, then you can slot in decorations to increase the points as well. Slot "sizes" are weird and inconsistent, and the decos themselves typically only add 1 or 2 points per skill. Considering the fact that the average skill takes 10 points to activate, and the average full armor set has maaaybe around 7 slots to work with, decos are not going to be your primary source of skill activation.

Now for another problem. Let's say you want an armor set that has just three skills: Status Attack +1, Constitution +1, and Stun Res +1. Pretty modest, right? Should be easy enough. Well would you look at that, High Rank Nerscylla's armor set gets you the first two, and because Stun Res decos are worth 2 points each, you can just slot the last skill in! Nerscylla's set has 5 slots, which is the exact number you need to get those 10 points in Stun Res.

Great! So you do just that. Except when you check your skill points, you discover that Stun Res has a whopping zero points.

Yeah, so... negative skills are a thing. Nerscylla's armor comes with -10 points in Stun Res, activating the "skill" Double Stun. Which as the name suggests, doubles the amount of time that you stay stunned, and I don't think I have to explain why that's bad. -10 plus 10 is zero. So much for that Halve Stun you wanted so bad.

Not all skills have equivalent negative skills, but many armor pieces and most decos will have negative points. The challenge of set building comes from having to carefully balance and calculate your skill points, to make sure you're not accidentally charging into battle against Agnaktor while at -20 Fire Res. It can be frustrating if you're like me, and you've got swiss cheese for brains and can't handle the math. Fear not, I've got something amazing for you.

Allow me to introduce you to your new favorite website, Kiranico. This website hosts Monster Hunter databases containing literally everything that the games don't tell you, or do really half-ass job of telling you. That includes weapon upgrades, material drop rates, monster hitzones and health pools, and most importantly, armor sets and their respective skills. Being able to view all of this info all in one place makes it SO much easier to theorycraft new equipment sets.

Kiranico will save you from so much grief. Bookmark it and cherish it like your firstborn child.

Alas, no amount of Kiranico homework will make it easier to obtain the materials you want. The Desire Sensor is real, and it demands sacrifice.

7. The Desire Sensor (You Will Grind.)

It's commonly said that the game can sense exactly what you're grinding for, and will go to un-fucking-believable odds to avoid giving you that which you need most. This is the alleged "Desire Sensor."

Now, don't get me wrong, the newer games have moments like this, too. Don't even get me started about the 46 tries that it took me to get ONE Golden Almudron Orb, out of the TWO that I needed in Rise.

But until you get better gear, a single old school monster could take you 15+ minutes. Especially if you're on your own. Monster's health pools are not well scaled for solo players, so chances are, hunts are going to take way longer than usual if you don't resign yourself to getting tripped by a cheater with a longsword. Couple this with some god awful drop rates plus the disheartening quest rewards, and you're in for a loooooooong grind.

I would say you'll get used to it, but honestly, you won't. You'll get sick of it. You'll be shaking Kiranico by the metaphorical shoulders, desperate for any little thing that might speed up the grind. You might even be tempted to pick up a bowgun. Such a lapse in sanity is frightening, but it will pass. Stay strong.

Take breaks from the grind every now and then, or at least have two different grinds that you can switch back and forth between when you get exhausted of one. Since there is no escaping the Desire Sensor, this is unfortunately the only advice I can offer.

Disclaimer: the Desire Sensor is, as far as I'm aware, not a real mechanic programmed into the games. But godDAMN if it doesn't feel real. As anecdotal evidence, here's a small sample of my own suffering. Materials I wanted, the amount of them I wanted, their drop rates, and the sheer number of attempts it took to complete my goal (yes, I kept count.):

Lightning Sac x8 (G Rank Khezu): 15% chance to carve. 18% chance as quest reward. 27% chance as part break reward. HUNTS: 22

Paddock Cream x1 (G Rank Tetsucabra/Zamtrios): 40% chance to obtain two as subquest reward. 25% shiny drop. 25% chance as capture reward. 14% chance as quest reward. HUNTS: 8. I mean, what the fuck.

Monster Broth x5 (High Rank Insectoid Small Monster): 20% chance to carve. 20% shiny drop. SLAIN: >70

Viscous Radiant Mucus x17 (G Rank Nakarkos) 40% chance to gather; multiple gathering opportunities. 18% chance to obtain at least one as quest reward. 18% chance to obtain at least one as subquest reward. 15% chance per tentacle broken to obtain two. HUNTS: 15 (IT'S A 30+ MINUTE FIGHT SOLO. FML)

Was it worth it? Hell yeah! Do I think we should go back to the way things were in the old games? Fuck no! 46 Almudrons haunt me in my wildest nightmares— but at least I didn't feel my hair getting longer playing Rise.

On the bright side, at least the Desire Sensor has a sense of humor, if that last Khezu was anything to go by. Shout out to carving three lightning sacs in a row.

Phew! That about wraps things up.

Don't let this post deter you from trying out a "hard" Monster Hunter game. I don't regret my old school experiences. They've made me a much more patient and observant player, which weirdly enough, has carried over into other series I play, too. I can't say the same about any other game I've played in my life, and that's just one of many reasons why Monster Hunter holds such a special place in my heart.

I hope that by sharing my wisdom, I've saved at least one overwhelmed player a whole lot of headache. The rest is up to you, fellow hunter. Take it slow, and have fun!

Oh, and one more thing: press the dodge button while climbing in order to climb faster. Learned that one by accident 200 hours in.

#monster hunter #monhun #mh #oops. had an autism moment and banged this one out in under 48 hours. lmao #i don't know what compelled me.#i just think we need more text based guides in a world dominated by video tutorials. so uhhh #here ya go!#long post #very long post #lol.

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masterjedilenawrites · 10 months

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Hi! so i um read your “happily ever after” for the delta squad and i was wondering if you could do that for tbb and the bois? you’re such a good writer <3333

I haven't challenged myself to write individual headcanons in a while, and this sounded like the perfect prompt to do it with! Who doesn't want these precious boys to live happily ever after in their own special ways? 🥰 psst, I also threw in Gregor and Howzer as a little treat 🤭

Cody would actually fancy himself as some sort of a political advisor or ambassador. He imagines the clones will need some representation after the war, a place in the galaxy, and to have their voices heard. He could picture himself stepping up to that challenge and being happy with it. It would sure beat having to sit around with nothing to do...

Rex also wants to be involved with supporting his clone brothers, but he has a much more domestic picture in mind. A partner, for starters. Someone to share life with who can be his best friend. And a house, any size, any location, with a door that's constantly opening for any weary or lost brother who needs a place to crash.

Wolffe has a very specific image in his mind. It may sound silly, but he wants to find a settlement somewhere for all of his brothers to live in. Like a little clone village, where they each play a part in keeping things humming. They can bring in partners if they'd like, procreate, that sort of thing... but for the most part it'd just be them, all living together until the end of their days.

Fox just wants a nap. A true, honest to goodness nap. Uninterrupted, no guilt or piling to-dos in the meantime. Free to fall asleep at his own pace and wake up naturally. Cushy pillows and all. If he got just one good sleep in, he'd be content with literally anything in his life. Heck, he'll dig holes in Tattooine forever. Just please give him this one little thing.

Fives absolutely wants kids. A whole brood of them. He can hold any kind of job, live anywhere in the galaxy, so long as he gets to be called dad. He'll embrace the dad jokes, read all the parenting books, tear up at every milestone. And if the fates allow, perhaps he'll live long enough to even be called a grandad, too.

Jesse would want to stay in the army as long as he can. He can't imagine what else he could do with his life outside of it. He'd be one of those clones crashing on Rex's sofa, needing his brother's help to get back on his feet and find meaning in his life. Eventually it would come as a handyman, keeping his hands busy with repairs in homes or ships, and of course flirting with the owners.

Kix would say he never wants to see another cut or broken bone again, but realistically, he would go out of his mind if he wasn't needed in that way. He wouldn't be able to help himself from volunteering at a hospital, or just starting his own medical practice in order to do things right. He'd especially love teaching his medical knowledge to an apprentice.

Tup wants a farm full of animals and crops. He currently knows little to nothing about how to run a farm, or how to keep things alive, but for him, happiness will be in the discovery. He'll start small, with a window ledge garden and a tooka in Coruscant. Over time, as he saves up enough money for some real land, he'll learn all the ins and outs of irrigation, breeding, and then like.

Hardcase wants to travel and experience all he can. Skydiving, snorkeling, white water rafting, pottery... you name it. His bucket list will grow as he goes; he'll cross one item off only to add two more ideas on. The galaxy is just so vast and full of so much. He knows he has a short life to live, so he intends to utilize every second of it doing something outrageously fun.

Dogma wants to remain a soldier, but not during an active war. He'd rather use his knowledge and skills to help keep the peace. He likes the feeling of being needed, of providing protection to others, but he knows wartime takes its tolls, so being a peacekeeper is a good compromise in his mind.

Echo would want to help his brothers, from a therapy standpoint. He believes there can be purpose for the clones outside of war, but that it will take a lifetime of support, encouragement, and restructuring to get them there. Whatever ear he can lend or advice he can impart to help as many clones find their happy ending, you can bet he'll do it.

Hunter pictures himself in a peaceful cabin in the woods. Living off the grid, hunting for his own food, building his own furniture, just really embracing that holistic, hippy lifestyle. He'd also prefer if the rest of the Batch was around, too. He really can't stand the thought of being alone, and while he does want a partner and kids, he'd be lying if he said his brothers weren't part of the picture also.

Wrecker wants to travel, specifically to discover and try as much food as possible. How is he affording this fantasy? Who cares. It's his dream, leave him alone. Yes, he wants the feeling of a full belly every day, but exploring different flavors and cuisines and how to prepare food is genuinely exciting to him. Maybe he'll even get a food vlog going along the way.

Crosshair isn't really concerned with whatever "happily ever after" means. So long as he can be useful, do the things he was created to do. If the war ended and he couldn't be a soldier, he'd become some kind of bounty hunter or gun for hire. True happiness would only come if he also had a partner by his side. He won't know that, though, until it happens.

Tech doesn't think about the future. Or happiness. He will go along with whatever options are available to him, so long as he gets to be himself. The easiest, and most logical in his opinion, choice is to keep the Batch together, utilizing their talents for the betterment of the galaxy. But perhaps pod racing wouldn't be such a bad gig, either.

Gregor would be happy as a teacher or coach. Anything where he could mentor the youth of whatever community he finds himself in. It wouldn't even matter much to him what he was teaching; he'd find a way to become an expert in it just to uphold his duty of education. Though physical activity, of course, ends up being his forte.

Howzer truly wants to fall in love and be married. "Happily ever after" for him looks like two old souls, holding hands as they rock on a porch swing and gaze off into the sunset. He knows relationships are work, but he's had some good examples to look up to so far in his life, so he's determined to put in the effort with the right person.

Everything Tag: @damerondala, @dangerousstrawberrypie, @fallingforthem, @harleyevanstan, @imabeautifulbutterfly, @justanothersadperson93, @misogirl828, @itsagrimm, @error6gendernotfound, @theroguesully, @clonesimp, @techie-bear

+Clone & Bad Batch Tags: @marvel-starwars-nerd, @pandora-the-halfling, @darkangel4121, @sobstea, @rintheemolion, @bowtiesandsandshoes, @dionysuskid21, @jesseeka, @hanbetired, @thatmultifandomdumbass, @sarahtanmarvel, @call-me-a-fool, @lackofhonor, @theclonesdeservebetter, @hannahhearttcw, @kaijusplotch, @salaminus, @arctrooper69, @katzs-current-obsession, @501st-rexster, @rebel-finn, @not-a-big-slay, @writing-positivelyexisting, @nekotaetae, @the-mom-friend-dot-com, @pickle-rick-y, @flowered-bicycles, @lucyysthings, @severalseashellsbytheseashore, @the-royal-petals, @droids-you-are-looking-for, @moon-wrecked

(Join my tag list here)

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nuntears · 7 months

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day 1: dissection

it’s still dark out as lawrence drags your body along the forest floor, the fallen dried up leaves crunching and bunching up under you. his shaky hands are grasping your leg as he tries to get you to a nice spot. he had knocked you out, then given you some tea for good measure. you’re still breathing, bleeding, but breathing.

he drops your leg, here is fine, he decides.

a quiet anger surges through him, had fueled his little outing. he needed to get you as far from him as possible. couldn’t bear the sight of you in his apartment. you had just seemed different, at least for a moment. but you let your true colors shine, screaming and thrashing and causing a problems.

(you even said you wouldn’t a problem, like the pretty flower you are; deceiving, dishonest.)

but everything works out in it’s own way. there are starving animals out here, and you’re worth a lot more to them than to him right now. he starts to walk away, the buzzing agitation fueling every step as he thinks of the long walk back to his car.

but something beckons him to take one last look at you. he doesn’t really want to, he stands there with his back to you while he thinks it over. and eventually he turns, maybe for some closure, maybe just to get a comparison for what you’ll be when he comes back, but he turns all the same. what he doesn’t expect is that he sees you, really sees you, like when he first took a good look at you. the trees surround you, framing you, branches that reach down as if waiting for the moment he looks away to pull you further into the forest, to take you away forever. his shoulders deflate, the apathy and anger that caused him to bring you out here is replaced with a frustration for what could have been. you look like something almost beautiful, an unfinished painting, not quiet fleshed out.

(you’re so still, so quiet now, why couldn’t you have stayed quiet?)

lawrence had learned the value of patience, you need it when tending to plants. can’t grow anything worthwhile without it. the hard lesson that anticipation can build an appetite. that good things come to those who wait. but he didn’t want to wait, he was already so close, you were so close.

he had wanted to come back when there was a little less of you left, after the tender earth and the animals did what they always do, it was what he always did at least. but all that potential, why wait until nature had it’s way with you? maybe those scavengers could find something else to sink their teeth into in the meantime.

he kneels by you, you’re still out cold. his face is growing warmer at the thought of it. he’ll just be finishing what he started, he thinks, as he slides out a switchblade from his pocket.

he holds the blade in his hand like a pen as he starts to carve into your arm, beginning at the wrist and moving up. and you’re rousing from your sleep, feeling it from somewhere else, somewhere distant. weak groans and weaker tugging at your limps, trying to pull away. he tries to shush you, soft words he thinks sound comforting, but when they do nothing, he gives up, opting for silence. it’s silence he wants anyways.

and he will get it.

the slice he’s drawing up your arm is deep, thick muscle, pink and soft, blossoming as the skin splits apart, breathing in the night air for the first time. open, he wants you open. he slices a bit deeper, a little more eager, you’re moving and writhing but he needs you still.

(stop moving)

his hands are red, coated in you, and your breathing slows and it’s like he’s about to meet you for the first time, the real you, the one that can’t lie, wouldn’t even know how. you’re getting colder, the warmth leaking out of you onto the dirt beneath you. your movements are slowing. it’s happening so fast but not fast enough.

(stop moving)

up your arm and towards your chest. you seem to have a second wind, slurred begging, pleading, bargaining, small desperate sounds, but there’s nothing you can give him in exchange for what he wants.

(stop breathing)

and it seems his hard worked has payed off because you go still. it creeps in and then all at once. it’s exactly what he’s been waiting for, the silence rolling in like a fog. and you were everything he imagined and more, laying there, unmoving, so still.

he pauses, panting, hadn’t realized how worked up he would get. your lips parted with words that never made it out, eyes hallow, focused on nothing. in the dark it’s hard to tell just what a mess he made of you. after he soaks you in. he continues, dragging the blade down the middle of your chest, down to your stomach, opening you up. you burst as the skin divides, like everything inside you was desperate to escape. still warm, but not for much longer now.

(it’s just us now)

he tosses the blade, laying next to you. one hand cradling your cheek while the other moves into your stomach, touching all your exposed warmth. he follows your unmoving gaze, to the stars past the branches over the two of you. it’s a cloudless evening, just wide night skies. the frustration and anger he felt seemed so far away now.

no need to rush anything now, as you both lay in the dirt, facing the dark sky.

#lawrence oleander/reader #lawrence oleander #boyfriend to death #boyfriend to death 2 #goretober 2023 #no beta no proofreading no spellcheck just me n the tumblr textbox against god #this is the one i rewrote last min aiowefjoaiw #**#singing hymns

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lilolilyr · 17 days

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I have an idea for an Andromaquynh modern AU fanfic

In it, Quynh moves back home to her parents after getting a degree at university she isn't really sure she can or wants to use. She used to think that she's a city girl despising the suburbs she grew up in, but now she thinks she was wrong about that or maybe her preferences changed, she doesn't much like the cities she studied in anymore, first she thinks it's because she studied abroad (in the countries of her ancestors) and could never quite connect to the culture there, but visiting a friend in a city in her home country shows her it isn't just that, she just prefers a quieter environment

In the meantime, her parents have moved to a different part of town and it doesn't really feel like coming home at all. Quynh still struggles with her place in life, she doesn't want to hang around on her parents' couch doing nothing forever but she doesn't know what else to do either and the thought of a regular 9-5 job in an office terrifies her, she has done enough internships in that kind of environment to know she can't stand it for long

Quynh starts taking long walks through the countryside, for her health because she hasn't really found any sports/active hobbies in the area yet (that's an aspect she really liked about the cities, there's always something interesting going on, she used to dance and try out things like shooting with bow&arrow and axe throwing), and to have quiet time to think away from her family. That way she gets to know the area quite well - she actually already knows it a bit because she really didn't live far away as a kid, but she never really walked through the fields on this side of the suburbs before

On her walks she sometimes comes across equestrians, and one time a horse throws off its rider and she ends up catching the animal, which doesn't seem to mind people in general just people trying to climb and sit on it - it won't stay the last time she comes across that particular animal, and she thinks she understands the horse quite well what with not wanting to do jobs they don't like just to be allowed to live comfortably.

Andy's the owner of the horse riding school, and when a girl falls off her horse (probably the one that doesn't much like its riders, Quynh calls it Big Guy lovingly not knowing what it's actually called) and needs medical attention, Quynh ends up taking the horse back to the stables and meets Andy there.

There's a bit of an age-gap between them and even once they meet and fall in love Andy is reluctant to commit to Quynh out of fear of tying Quynh to a life she might not really want, meanwhile Quynh is finally figuring out her place in life and she wants to stay with Andy.

I'll probably never write the full fanfic, I just don't have the time and motivation for it. If anyone's interested in getting the draft and adopting it, I'd love to hand it over for you to write it!

Post is okay to reblog :)

The draft I have is pretty much in bullet points atm, but I'd even go over it and clean it up a bit if someone's really interested in adopting the fic, and I'd be open to either chatting about it and giving more input, or you taking it and doing your own thing with it!

I don't have the time to write a longfic atm and I feel like what with the plot I'm thinking of, it really needs to be 10 or even 20k minimum to start doing it justice... That being said if sb wants to try writing a shorter version or is inspired by it to write anything similar, absolutely feel free! Just pls lmk once it's done so I can read it :D

I also already wrote a college AU horse girl!Andy longfic before, and while that one was happier and this one would probably have quite some angsty vibes before reaching its happy ending, it still kind of feels like I've done this before, also reducing my motivation for it even more :( which is a pity really because I do really like the idea.

If you want to take on the story reply to this or send me an ask/dm and we can figure out how to do this, discord/email/docs or whatever :)

My tog tag list - I know it's been ages, if anyone wants off this list or if someone new wants on it, please let me know! -: @bobeau-beaubo @lesbianlotties (daniwouldnever) @ongreenergrasses @eyeh0rr0r @cantteachanoldguardnewquotes @badwolfkaily @andramaquynhs @depresbianintheclassicalsense @andy-the-scythian @cryhardanddanceharder @my-gaydar-is-on-point @spookyvoidangelskeleton @bookerandy @jackwolfskid @cinnamonplums @cruzwalters @kayivy @blacks-phoenix @binariesarebullshit @tea-lizzard @prevalent-masters @aftermillennia @youssefguedira (pierremichelofavignon) @salzundhonig @moonlightbuckley @genyathefirebird (rupzydaisy) @nickydestati @after-a-millennium @spacewitchqueen @damnbert @not-so-good-omen (innocent-gayngel) @rhubarbdreams-blog @bedalk

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stillness-in-green · 9 months

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On Chapter Posts (and What Comes After)

Just a heads-up to everyone that, at least for the time being, I’m putting the chapter posts on moratorium. I’ve been far more critical than not for months on end, and while I do get some satisfaction out of the venting, it’s just gotten more mentally demanding than it’s worth. Compliments are easy and fun to write! I always end up feeling like I have to do more writing to support negativity, however, providing enough explanation to support my complaints, and often going even further to anticipate and preemptively counter responses.

That big slab of nitpicking sits at the top of my to-do list week-in and week-out, a responsibility to keep on top of lest I fall behind, pushing answering asks and working on other projects behind it, and with the chapters of late having become incredibly demotivating, not getting them done means I get nothing done. It certainly doesn’t help that Horikoshi’s writing has become so dependent on fake-outs, asspulls, retcons, and purposefully misleading cliffhangers, all of which make it unrewarding in the extreme to put effort and thought into meaningful analysis on a chapter-by-chapter basis.

I apologize to anyone who was really enjoying them—I’ve had a number of people tell me they love my meticulous breakdowns, and I’m forever grateful that my anal-retentiveness has found some like minds! That said, please don’t fear that I’m out of the BNHA analysis game entirely! I’d just rather focus my attention on larger-scale material, subjects that require analyzing the work as a whole, rather than the week-to-week grind.

First up will be clearing out my ask backlog—not, I think, a terribly burdensome prospect this time—as well as give the Mina fan the answer I promised them months ago to their last reply in our series of lengthy exchanges about Chapter 383.

Afterwards, my current and wishlist projects include:

Below the jump, I've compiled a list of my projects, meta and fanfic alike. Feel free to skim through if you’re interested in what the chapter posts have been keeping me away from!

Meta Projects:

An absolutely massive documentation of heteromorphobia in the main series and Vigilantes that I’ve been erratically working on since March of last year—41 pages and I’m still only at the beginning of the war arc! I’ve been trying to decide if I want to just start posting this in arc-length breakdowns or finish the whole thing first for optimal organization and presentation, though I suppose I could do the former on tumblr and the latter on AO3. Anyone have a preference?

The much-delayed essay laying out the evidence for the possession plot with AFO and Shigaraki not being the originally intended endgame for those characters, at least not in the form it wound up taking. Currently six pages, this one is still mostly bullet points; it also hasn’t been updated to reflect some of the more recent wild inconsistencies. I’d like to give the series time to wrap up whatever it’s going to do with AFO before I publish this one, in case of eleventh hour reveals, but there’s certainly a lot of draft work I could be doing in the meantime.

Some follow-up/companion pieces to my MVA In Memoriam series. I’d like to go back to the PLF Spotting posts, which were intended to run through the anime’s treatment of the PLF in the war arc, and I’ve also been compiling points for a schadenfreude-y post on the dazzling variety of ways the anime’s butchering of MVA has complicated its own future as an adaptation. This would cover things like the anime having to hastily jam in the CRC scene as a flashback because, whoops, it turns out heteromorphobia is going to play a major role in the climax, or the whole-hog deletion of Curious talking about quirk counseling, given that Horikoshi would later directly depict how said counseling exacerbated the psychological abuse Toga was already facing from her parents.

An essay I promised an anon last year about my perception of the MLA’s ideology. I’m salty about what the lazy, rushed writing in the final arc has reduced my favorite villain group in the manga to, however, so at this point, I want to do two things with this piece. First, analyze why the MLA's current portrayal is so problematic*—what they say doesn’t even match up with who they are and how they act now, much less in their MVA portrayal! Second, discuss how I write them, extrapolating from the non-caricatured aspects of their portrayal with the intent of offering a version of the MLA who are still extremist, cultish villains but who are allowed to have some proper nuance, and an ideology that’s actually consistent with their history, their tactics, and their MVA-era characterization.

A number of shorter fancies and trifles that I’ve thought about and taken a few notes on, but have never gotten around to fully drafting: o A post on how heroes and villains respectively engage with dramatic unmaskings. o A post on directionality of movement in visual media, highlighting some particularly interesting examples in BNHA to discuss what those examples indicate about the characters’ mentalities and the narrative’s silent, implicit judgement thereof. o A post on how frustrating it’s been to see all of Toga’s powers and abilities get retroactively leashed to—and limited by—her girly love-love emotions. o A post on the chronic underestimation of Shigaraki Tomura and the woes it consistently leads to. o A post or two analyzing the final beats of each chapter in the War Arcs with the aim of critiquing the way the series undermines the threat presented by the villains during said arcs.

Fanfic Projects:

On the fanfic side, it’s been frustrating me for months now that I haven’t written a substantial piece of non-prompt-driven fanfic for BNHA since January of last year, and even that's being generous with the word "substantial." Before that, I'd have to go all the way back to 2020 to find a non-prompt-based fic with a distinct beginning/middle/end. Suffice to say I’ve got lots of projects on that front!

While the rest of these are all BNHA fic, I do have a Gundam IBO fic I'm, like, two-thirds finished with the final chapter of that I badly want to finally, finally finish. It's basically down to an awkward conversation or two and a pair of wedding vows I've consigned myself to writing by virtue of drawing attention to them in the preceding chapters, RIP.

The perpetually languishing Obon fic, in which Re-Destro has a lot of feelings he is taking care not to examine too closely about his ancestors. Six thousand words and not even halfway finished.

The self-indulgent ShigRD mermaid fic, which has a number of cheerleaders in my friend circle and also my id.

Finish the MLA May AUs.

I'd like to circle back and write something for those last three days of Spinaraki Week Level 3 I never got to.

Brainstorming two distinct massive fix-it fic AUs I would at least like to draft some solid outlines for, even as it's unlikely I'll ever have the patience to write all the scenes about the kids they'd require. o "Forward Different" (the current name on the OneNote tab) would start from the first war arc, being faithful to the canon up to that point, but with major and minor changes that ripple outward to take the story farther and farther from canon the longer it progresses. (In that story: the MLA not folding like a bad hand in the raids, a Lady Nagant who's true to her professed hatred of empty platitudes, OFA being less of a perfectly good pushover, etc.) o "Backward Different" would also start from the first war arc, but things would drastically diverge almost immediately because of a number of strategically placed changes to prior events and character motivations; these would be wildcards to be uncovered or deduced as the story progresses. (In that story: Aoyama was revealed as the traitor all the way back at the training camp, cast members who actually matter turn out to be MLA, OFA is less of a perfectly good pushover, etc.)

I also have a number of deeply backburnery ideas, still more in the category of "idea" than project, that I could to move to more active project status. o The one where my might-as-well-call-them-my-MLA-fancharacter has to team up with Toga post-Jakku and travel across a rapidly unraveling Japan in order to meet back up safely with their allies. o The one where I use an OC detective to examine the official response to the Shimura massacre, and how it got squashed. o The Kotarou Lives AU, in which Kotarou survives said massacre. Look, gang, I just really want to write about AFO gleefully and aggressively coming on to Shimura Nana's deliciously bitter, traumatized, handsome, ignorant son. I also really like my idea for a lead-in/stinger on this one. o The one where Geten busts himself and his allies out of prison, be it the canon-verse story with his now-confirmed cell neighbor Mr. Compress or the teenaged AU where he gets thrown in the same high-security juvie Mustard is in.

And that's about all I can dig up out of my notes at the moment. Let me know if there's anything you guys are particularly interested in, though priority is likely to go to shorter or more fully developed projects. Thanks for reading!

(* In the academic sense, not the moral one.)

#bnha #-ish #chapter thoughts #my (prospective) writing

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quietwingsinthesky · 2 months

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i swear to god im going to write real fic again eventually but in the meantime here’s 2k of even & doctor angst and regret

“Don’t look at me like that,” Even says, softly. They won’t cross his TARDIS, won’t come closer to him. He doesn’t notice until he takes the first step, and they mirror him, keeping the console and the humming engine between them. He can only just see half of their face around it. “You don’t get to be disappointed in me.”

“How can you tell it’s a disappointed face? It’s a new face. Could mean anything.” He keeps walking, as though they’ll give up and stop and let him near. He catches them touch the console gently as they circle it, then snap their hand away like they’ve been burned, up to their chest to squeeze at- Nothing. They find empty air, and for a moment, they do freeze in place long enough for him to see the whole of them before they press their hand down and seem comforted by whatever they feel through the fabric of their shirt.

“It’s your face,” they answer. They sound uncertain.

They also aren’t wrong.

“What happened to you?” he asks, in lieu of saying something worse when they’re finally not trying to retreat from him. He dares a step closer and watches them tense like a frightened animal, shoulders drawn tight to make themselves smaller. He’s pictured finding Even, if they were alive, a thousand times over. When he was kinder to himself, he used to imagine that they’d grab his hands, overexcited and begging permission to touch more without being able to ask. (A regeneration ago, and he knows he would have pulled them in tight, buried his nose in their hair and held on until someone else interrupted him. Now, he’s not so sure, but he knows he wouldn’t let go of their hand.)

“I followed the Master,” they say. Their eyes cast away from him.

“You seem to be doing that a lot these days.” Even crosses their arms.

“Where else could I go?” they ask, standing in the middle of his TARDIS. Somewhere within her, their room is still waiting, untouched since they left.

They left.

“Home,” he intones, seriously, “where you’re supposed to be.”

Their mouth opens slightly in surprise before it curls around a sudden, “I can’t go home! You broke me!” The Doctor stops. All of him, from mind to body. Even one of his hearts misses a beat and leaves him with an aftermath of vertigo before it falls back in line. Even hadn’t raised their voice, but what tore through the air between them had been so angry- And had they ever been angry with him before? Just once in all their time together?

He watches their brief outburst crumple back inwards. Even blinks rapidly, pawing at whatever is beneath their shirt like it can steady them.

“Back with Donna,” he says, much quieter than he intends. Even blinks again, eyes clearly watering despite their attempts to stop it. “Making sure she’s safe.” He hasn’t let himself say her name in a long time. As though locking away the names of the people he cares about could keep them with him.

“Oh,” Even says, “you meant-”

Pettily, he adds, “You promised.” Whatever vulnerable thing had lighted on Even’s face when they heard Donna’s name evaporates, and that, he knows, is his fault. The brief vindication of their guilt isn’t worth it.

“What did you want me to do?” they beg. “Lie to her forever? Live my whole life with my best friend without being able to talk about any of the things that made us friends?”

“Did anyone tell you it would be easy?” he snaps. “Yes! She would have been safe!” You would have been safe, he couldn’t bring himself to say. He wants to believe, has to believe, that Even had ended up somewhere okay. Their present choice in company said otherwise, but more than that… He wonders if they know he can tell that some of their fingers are the wrong length. He’d almost thought he was misremembering, but they’re more incongruent upon further inspection — the shade of their skin slightly changed and the way they move. And that’s the part of them that he’s noticed has been modified. If there are others, he’s starting to think he just hasn’t seen them yet, not that they aren’t there.

They did a good job not answering his question earlier.

“I couldn’t live like that!” Even cries, cheeks finally stained with their first escaped tears. They flinch from the feeling of them, scrunching their eyes shut and failing to stop more. “Not with people I- I-“ Even makes a terrible noise, choked. The Doctor takes an unconscious step towards them, though he can’t make himself reach out to help. Their hesitation is too familiar to him, and his mind fills with a horrible litany of don’t stop there, say you didn’t learn to stop there from me, that can’t be the one thing you learned from me you didn’t forget. “With people I-“ Even makes a valiant second attempt. They fail. “People I cared about,” they finish, their failure obvious to themself and weighing heavily. “Care,” they correct, “care about.”

The TARDIS gives a warning hum as she nears her destination. He and Even both look up with recognition when they hear it.

He looks back at them before they do him. They gaze up at the TARDIS, towards the followable source of the noise — though the true source is somewhere else, much deeper within her. Their cheeks are still wet and their eyes are slightly red and puffy, but for those few seconds, their expression is one he’s missed so much that his hearts ache seeing it again: all wonder and delight at the TARDIS bringing them somewhere new.

And then their smile falls into a confused frown. They look at the Doctor, and then, gaze jumping to focus just over his shoulder instead, ask, “Doctor. Where are you taking me?”

He doesn’t have to answer. It was obvious where he thought they were supposed to be.

He’s going to say something, though. Maybe about the rarity of second chances.

Even’s expression goes blank. Against the contrast of their continuing tears, it’s unnerving. Without a word, they scan the TARDIS console. He doesn’t realize they actually know what they’re looking for until they’ve found it and dragged one lever into place with a protesting squeak. The TARDIS groans as she brakes in time.

The Doctor’s vision narrows to Even’s hand on the console. He doesn’t realize what he’s doing until his own hand is outstretched, and he hears the smack like a gunshot. Even jumps back, their eyes wide before they duck their head and brought their hand up against their lips. His palm stings slightly. On the tip of his tongue is a reprimand that dies before escaping. He’s standing as close to Even as they’ve allowed him to this entire time, and they’re cradling the hand he’d slapped away from the TARDIS’s controls.

They’d drawn the TARDIS to a halt properly, too. Not a guess or a reckless grab at any random button to throw them off-course.

They let their hand fall. There was a little red mark on it where he’d made contact.

“No,” they say.

“Even-”

“No,” they repeat. It scrapes out like a sob from the back of their throat.

“Then come with me.” He reaches out to touch their shoulder, and they move it inches from the tips of his fingers. “There’s room for you. You’ll meet Clara. You’d like Clara.” He has to say something to fill the air, or he’s going to keep staring at that fading red mark on their hand, feeling the skin on his palm slowly stop tingling. “You do the same thing with your eyes when you’re upset. You’ll have me outnumbered.” He wants Even’s eyes to go wide again and their lip to tremble, if only so he can point it out, just how similar they look and how well Even would get along with Clara if they were ever in the same room.

But Even doesn’t. They look exhausted instead.

“I already have a TARDIS to go to,” they say.

“Yes. Mine,” he insists, like he can make them stop before they say what he knows is coming. He’s still trying, though. He has to try.

“Mine.” He chooses to believe they’re just echoing what he said. (He misses when they did that, their voice catching the last words of his sentences and chirping them back again. He misses being caught in the loop himself, tossing a phrase back and forth until they couldn’t keep from laughing too hard to continue.) He chooses to believe that up until they say, voice strangely light compared to the rest of this conversation, “Missy will kill me if I’m late.”

He does not let his face fall. He does not let anything cross it, not anger or bitterness or grief.

Nonetheless, Even tilts their head slightly, brows knit, and adds, “I really can’t live here. Your TARDIS bites,” almost like an apology.

“And hers doesn’t?” He grips the TARDIS console, the contact with her controls calming him from the cool metal beneath his palms to the brushes of her consciousness against his own. He watches the stalled engine vibrate.

Even eyes him for a moment and cautiously steps closer into the space beside him. When he doesn’t move, they lay their hands on the console as well, mirroring his own. They twitch, once, a preemptive flinch and then, rest. He can feel every inch between their shoulders. Ghosts of laughter muffled against his coat or surprised grabs at his arm for reassurance haunt him. Even’s fingers curl, and they bring their hands together rather than keeping them outstretched and flat.

“No, actually,” they answer. “I think she’s too grateful for when we found and fixed her.” The Doctor chances turning his head to peer down at them.

His eyes catch on a shock of color amid their more subdued attire. They shift, and the color is swallowed up, melting into metallic grey, and revealing itself again the next time they adjust their stance. It’s a necklace, he realizes, chain interlaced with… something else. He finds the other spots of color easily, neon greens and yellows and blues. They look familiar.

“She does sometimes land us too close to walls, though,” Even continues. He can hear them smiling. “Most of the time, Missy stops before she runs into them. Most of the time.” He smiles despite himself, only half-listening as he studies their necklace or what he can see of it before it disappears beneath their shirt.

They’re beads. The pieces soldered into the chain are cheap, plastic beads.

The Doctor’s wrist feels suddenly bare, despite this wrist never having worn what it misses.

Even meets his eyes. They worry their lip between their teeth as they do, their effort to maintain it clear, and for that reason, he doesn’t look away for their sake like he might have otherwise.

“Would you really let me come back?” they say, slowly and carefully.

The Doctor doesn’t answer.

And he doesn’t answer.

And finally, he says, “Yes.”

Even exhales and looks away. They squeeze their eyes shut.

When they extend their hand, it’s the Doctor’s turn to try not to flinch. He thinks he does an okay job of it, and if not, they aren’t looking anyway. The feel of their fingers wrapping loosely around his wrist is both new and familiar. Their adjust their grip as they bring his hand towards them, getting used to the changes they should have been expecting but that he knows they still weren’t, despite hearing his new voice and looking at his new face and knowing it wasn’t even the first he’d had since they’d last touched him.

Even draws his hand close to their chest and hesitates. They squeeze it once and continue. They hold it to their chest. He finds the outline of something beneath their shirt. They press his hand closer, eyes shut. The Doctor feels out the edges of the hidden object, round and hard, with no give but its own heat, its own energy pulsing with a steady rhythm that Even must feel in their chest constantly with it so near their skin. He runs his thumb over it again.

“I can’t stay with you.” Another apology. Their other hand comes up to cover what’s left of his that the first didn’t.

The Doctor finally knows how he could convince them. He can read it in the way they hold on. He knows exactly what he has to say to make it impossible for them to leave.

“Keep me close,” he says instead. Even huffs a little laugh.

“I try.” They release his hand, and with his invitation gone, he doesn’t try to take more than they’ve allowed. They aren’t running from him anymore. He knows how hard that is.

When he puts the TARDIS in motion again, he does everything he can not to think of Even’s intended destination, where or what or who it is, and to exist in the few moments they have together.

(He finds the box tucked into a corner of his own room, though he knows he didn’t leave it there. The TARDIS wants him to have it back. He takes out cheap, stretchy plastic bands and multicolored beads and lays them in a dozen rows of different shades before he makes anything from them. It goes much slower when he’s the only one sorting them out.

He strings them together, one by one. He tries to remember the colors he saw. He remembers their original order, but some were lost along the way and what’s the point in a friendship bracelet that doesn’t match?

Clara comments on it when she sees it. She says it’s cute, with a quirk to her mouth and eyebrows that says she’s confused but humoring him.

The Doctor tries not to take it off again, for however long that might last. He hopes it’s at least until Even sees it.)

#fanfiction #dw oc #doctor who

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bhsiu · 4 months

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smiles.... hello....!! i am so sorry for taking forever to write up this intro!! my wifi stopped working the day after i joined ): but im here now to present miss siu, who is definitely the craziest oc i have ^^b special shout out to the admins for giving me an extension jsdkhfjksdh please like this post if you'd like to plot with me and i'll reach out!! ##tw: death, alluded murder, mentions of bugs as creatures she loves but no imagery!!!!!

DOSSIER / BIOGRAPHY / PLOTS / TRACKER !!

temporary note: her biography is still under construction, but will most definitely be updated by tomorrow !! in the meantime, there is a little bit of background info about siu on her welcome post !! i also have a detailed stats sheet of her (the dossier link) so please take some time to read through it ^_^

☆ okay, she's not as insane as she sounds. like - in her defence, she does have morals. they just seem to blur whenever something comes in the way of her title. ☆ and it's not that she dislikes men, it's that she has been compared to one all her life. she also grew up watching him get a lot more and do half the work she did. . . so she's a little bitter! she was literally named as a boy because her parents were not expecting a girl. ☆ but she wouldn't do anything bad. ☆ . . .well, unless prompted to.

☆ she loves tending to her garden !! the quickest way to her heart is to show interest in what she grows. if she trusts you, she might give you a tour of it and talk your ear off about every little thing in it. ☆ she loves animals and creatures that live in her garden, especially moths and butterflies !! more often than not, you will find one or two on her shoulder if you find her outside. ☆ speaking of her garden. . . it would be best if you didn't touch any of her flowers unless she tells you it's safe. ☆ and if you trust her not to lie to you, of course. ☆ like, hypothetically, a few of them might be poisonous. and - well - hypothetically, she sends her moths to deliver said poison to the people on her black list. ☆ hypothetically, though !! besides, she'd never do that to you. you seriously have nothing to worry about. ☆ she doesn't speak of her twin at all, and if brought up, she will get up and leave. she's still mourning him, and she will for the rest of her life.

WANTED CONNECTIONS !!

someone to humble her

the others in line at magnolia to defy her

people to uncover her secrets, people she sees as threats and will attempt to take down

alternatively, people she actually likes, perhaps good influences that will force her to let her guard down.

#bhrp:intro #❥ 𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐃𝐑𝐎𝐏 ― 𝐋𝐀 𝐌𝐎𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐄 𝐃'𝐔𝐍𝐄 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐄 . . !!

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satellitedusterart · 7 months

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How do you get your drawing ideas? My head is so empty all the time.

1. usually, from other pieces of art! paintings, poems, written stories, music, animation, tv shows, etc! i make a habit of saving anything that inspires me, or interests me, or reminds me of an OC/storyworld. it doesn't always push me to draw, but it does help get me thinking about a character and what i could do with them. something in particular i'll do is save a post, an image, a video, even a song if the mood fits, and add a small blurb to Put a more concrete image or idea in my head. that way, when i actually get to drawing, it comes back to me quicker and i'll have an easier time drawing more in the process!

[also worth saying i keep a disturbingly extensive discord server where i save all of these ideas. so everyday im essentially praying that discord doesn't go down or explode forever <3]

2. writing! not just plot stuff, but journal writing helps me get a lot of ideas on paper, whether through sheer mental spewing, or ruminating on a topic, or just pure exploration. there's a common experience among OC artists on here in which they develop their characters better when they talk about them to a friend/a server/ etc, and frankly, that's where alot of my own developmental work has been done! [shoutout to my friends also for listening to me ramble about my lil guys here and there. mwah]

3. this is less of an answer and more of advice, but i don't draw every idea that i get, i don't write down every idea that comes to me, and i don't always get inspired from the things that i like. sometimes you have to wait for inspiration to strike, and in the meantime, let life come to you as it may until it does! take pictures, watch a new show, listen to a new musician, go through some old art and try remaking something you like, study something that you've been meaning to work on, do something different that you might enjoy!

tl;dr i try and engage with a lot of art that i like, i talk to myself more than is probably healthy, and i tend to write down drawing ideas more than i actually draw! all this means is i won't run out for a long time :3 and i wish you the best of luck in your endeavors, anon! art is a challenge, and i don't back away from one if i can help it! 💜

#anonymous #💬#re: discord. don't worryyyy every month or so intranscribe everything important to a document on my computer that i back up regularly #also sorry for the long response i JUST woke up and my brain is swirling rn #ALSO. i talked a fuckton about ocs in this post but this applies to any art thing ever. i just think about my own characters and their #stories a lot

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trinkerichi · 1 year

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TEKVENTURES! I wanna ramble about Tekventures.

if you remember them you qualify for a veterans discount

So they were Sgt.Frog ocs that my best friend SARAZA and I made on flipnote for edgy amvs and comics. I wanna say I wassss 13? give or take. But these little guys were my EVERYTHING. We thought of a billion stories about them. Then I got sick of drawing frogs eventually and wanted to make them more of an original thing. Our first sketches were of anthro goats, but over time with my style changes, an the fact that I hate spending more than 2 seconds drawing anything, they no longer resemble any specific animal and turned into fuzzy nondescript species of alien thing. ANYWAY I wanted to make them into a "real comic series" when i was 17. That's when I started the chapters that are still up on tumblr n webtoons! and a few other sites probably that I forgot about.

I've been harsh on it in the past but honestly I still love it to bits. What's there is a solid little comic and i still think it's adorable!

The only thing is, that's judging it based on what's there. It's a basis for a cute episodic thing with low stakes! Like the early mlp fim episodes or the new care bears cartoon. But that's NOT what it was planned for in the long term. Oh no, I was so ambitious. I had at LEAST 50 episodes planned which would weave together into this massive arc that would introduce other space teams, wayward space travelers with secret pasts connecting to the main cast, sad backstories for everyone, ALL of the family members of the main cast, a villian team with like... 'anti-versions' of the main cast, and a dramatically foreshadowed final confrontation with robot clones that want to destroy their planet. OH AND ROBIN too! Besides all that, they ALSO have multiple side story episodes about crashing to earth and befriending a human girl named Robin who has to keep them secret.

That might have been um. a lot.

But when you start writing a story with your best friend when you're 13 you most likely have NO CONCEPT of "too much". Who am I kidding I STILL have trouble pacing myself. But when you come up with a story it's hard not to think it's just GOLD! And that you've gotta keep it no matter what! Because that stuff is fun!

I went full force into the comic in my senior year of highschool and eventually I finished the first chapter! It took me a year. And then I looked at my plans for the other 49 episodes and thought "maybe I need to rework some things.."

I rebooted the comic once, tried making smaller stories, all that, but I wasn't quite feeling the same drive anymore. I realized I was comparing my work to high budget tv shows with like. a full team of writers and artists. and studio funding. and greenlit seasons and all that. And it was making me feel TERRIBLE about my art!

So I quit comics! I started hating comics! I hated how long they took and how restricted I felt (with my own expectations) and I lost my confidence in finishing projects because I was so sad about giving up on my big magnum opus. and I just kinda gave up and started only doing fandom art for a couple years. I did a jyushimatsu ask blog and kept it up for ages! And then a new season of Osomatsu came out and I realized when comparing it that I was basically writing an oc at this point. And that I CAN commit to long term projects if i dont get self conscious about it!

I still didnt wanna jump into comics again. But I thought of some new characters that I was becoming attached to. the very very beginnings of what could turn into a new idea.

I thought "well i still love cartoons about space! even if im not making tekventures anymore maybe i could do another space story. a really tiny one."

so i started making an rpgmaker game! and it started taking forever. so in the meantime i made a really rough doodle comic about how the characters first met. as a little side story thing.

and THAT was the key. I had to stop thinking about it like i was making a big cool tv show and starting my career and all that. its just a fun thing, off the cuff, not overthinking it, just for fun and personal expression.

so im still going with it! and its GREAT! Rocket chip has 12 planned chapters, and I'll be halfway done by the end of the year.

But BOY did it take me forever to learn that.

#trinket rambles

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therealcalrissian · 1 hour

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“my squad? we’re nothing but a bad batch.” -hevy to 99 | the clone wars s3 e1

i just wanted to say that once this series comes to a close i will be hibernating for the rest of the year. don’t talk to me. don’t try and contact me. the only thing that will wake me from this hibernation is the return of my fav clone rebels (rex and the crew) and the batch (if they don’t all tragically die in the finale).

take the opportunity to say your last goodbyes to the bad batch before they die or possibly leave us forever and never return.

i do think that whoever does make it out will return in some other form of star wars (animation i do pray) and they will probably be traumatized more then they already are and may never be the same (unfortunately).

i love everything this show has brought to star wars animation and star wars in general.

the animation visuals. the character design. the character arcs. the cameos. the new characters. the old characters. the relationships between these characters. the brotherhood. the sisterhood. the family. the closing of one era into a new one. the possibilities are endless and the stakes are high.

i hope to see more of the bad batch, but if not, then it’s been a good run for these silly little misfit clones. i hold them close to my heart dearly.

rest in peace to our brave “exceptional minded” hero tech aka brown-eyes aka goggles you have been and always will be missed (even though he might actually still be alive and now turned evil, oh well, it’s the though that counts).

i remember watching the first episode back in 2021, having just finished watching season 7 of tcw (i was late to the show yes i know) and realizing the potential this story could have. it started out as an introduction to the final season of one of my favorite shows of all time, and ended as—on it’s own—one of my favorite shows of all time alongside tcw. and to put it simply, it has exceeded my expectations by far. i remember waking up extra early every wednesday before school to watch the newest episode. it was a weekly and annual tradition since the show came out, and once each season was finished, i was immediately excited for the next season to arrive.

but there is no next season. this is it. and i really do hope this “bittersweet ending” will be one worth while.

hunter, wrecker, echo, tech, crosshair, and omega.

clone force 99.

the bad batch.

in the meantime, i will be rewatching the umbara arc and the first four episodes of season two of the tbb when tech was still alive to cope with my sadness and the ending of this show.

thank you for putting up with my nerd bullshit.

see u geeks on wednesday!

#I CANT IT HURTS THIS IS PAINFUL #i love this show very very much #star wars #the bad batch #sw tbb #tbb #star wars the bad batch #tbb season 3 #the bad batch star wars #tbb spoilers #hunter tbb #echo tbb #tech tbb #wrecker tbb #crosshair tbb #omega tbb

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infolane · 10 months

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ARC V MONTH DAY 14 - Halfway to Heartland Tower

@arcvmonth

The star of today’s how is no other than Kurosaki Ruri! So let’s talk a little about her.

At first, I wasn’t sure how to characterize her in roleplays and fanfiction, which was a huge problem because I did want to give her a more protagonistic role in writing! There is so little about her... barely any presence in the anime... so I started to pick up the shards where I could, focusing on neutral and negative qualities to balance things out.

I started with the idea of her wanting to understand the war and the uprooting of her life. From there, more and more bits became clear to me. She wants to step out of Shun’s shadow. She loves her friends, but feels like they don’t understand her her anymore. A metamorphosis, an egg, a bird hatching to finally see the sun-

The turning point was when I decided to base the way she speaks and interacts with the world on Good Sky, Vocal Marole and Petscop. Suddenly, she was a fundamentally strange person with many good intentions, but some odd ways to go about it. And that was that for Kurosaki Ruri!

Of course, different AUs call for different outfits. Pictured above is her, as found in @cathartes-ruri (which... we really need to get back to writing. Oops)

Now, for something different- a piece of fanfiction! Same AU as in the comics for other days. Has that become an overarching theme for this event? :o

It is two in the morning and he still hasn’t come back to his room. Ruri is glad she brought something to read in the meantime- just an old book of folklore. Tongue twisters, rhymes, monsters, stories, riddles, all compiled neatly in a book missing its cover and with chunks of pages missing.

She doesn’t mind it, really. If anything, she’s glad to see people have been reading it. A pristine book in a facility like this would also be the least liked one. The kind only Kaito would care about.

The door creaks open and Ruri perks up.

Sora has arrived.

It’s breathtakingly pitiful. Hair down, wearing that ratty nightgown from forever ago, eyes dead, expression perfectly neutral...

“...Did you wait for me?”, he asks, closing the door behind himself.

“If it wasn’t me it would be Rin.”

He grimaces. It’s not that he dislikes Rin, not in the slightest- Evibell is living proof of it. No- he just hates the worried face she makes every time. The difficult conversation had without words about their partnership.

The way she can’t even bring herself to call him a friend.

Well, Ruri isn’t her. Being much more shameless, she calls him a friend. At least that’s how Rin says it. That painful point of contention, of friction.

“If you are going to lounge around at least pay attention to me instead of spacing out~”, he says, light hearted as he picks out proper pajamas and enters the bathroom.

A personal bathroom...the kind of thing available for one room in each wing of the facility- though this, the north wing, has one extra room like that, reserved for Yuya and the other three.

Ruri wonders how Sora must have worked hard for this room. It’s a small thing, really, but giving him a place of his to retreat must be helpful.

Not like that year.

He’d come back from the woods drowning in satisfaction, smelling like cotton candy, eyes hazy, distant, having left a dismal world again.

When Serena came to talk, she shared what she knew- the source the smell is being altered by the nameless girl we saw. Someone is dead.

At that point, Ruri asked for her to stop. No need for details, for explanations. Let the rain take it away before the next time we escape into the woods to exercise our nonhuman parts.

The sound of running water.

Yes, it isn’t bothersome at all. He has a role to play, and so he does. You can envy that much... When the trial by fire comes, that figure will have mismatched eyes. He’ll be at center of the world, opening the door to that day you all became cursed.

If you look out the window, the nameless girl is once again a grand spire throbbing and pulsing skyward. This is proof Yuya is asleep, closed eyes sharing her shape with you.

The bathroom door opens and out he steps, already dressed, hair wrapped in a towel.

“Looking at her?”, he asks, coming closer. Ruri smiles.

“Don’t you think she’s beautiful?“

“You need a better taste, Ruri! And that’s coming from me.“

“I just appreciate the commitment to looking bad to see! It’s a step up from normal ghosts, isn’t it?“

“You think it’s a ghost?”

“Yeah. Or something like that- what do you think, Sora?“

He seems lost in thought for a moment before sighing.

“I dunno. I think it’s less of a thing and more of an spectacle. Sometimes there’s that thing outside, sometimes there’s the birds-“

“Those are my favorite.”

“Course it would be~“ He snickers. “But you get it, right? The stuff on the walls, the eyes, the iterations... it’s creepy, but it’s also like a message. A really roundabout one.”

While he talks, Ruri undoes the towel and picks up a brush, beginning the process.

“Do you think we can understand the message if we try?”

“Mm... instead of an answer from me, I wanna hear from you, Ruri-chan.“

That is something she likes about him. He wants to know. He wants to step into her world, see with her eyes, rather than assume things.

The brush pulls off much falling hair.

“I think we are part of the message as well. Once Rin’s trial by fire kills off all unnecessary bits... then I think we will get to understand, even if we give up our memories for his sake...“

Yuto. Yuya. Yugo. Yuri. Four faces of a single person and the epicenter. They have their roles to play. The way to the truth. A sea of blue getting untangled. Is it selfish to want to get to take care of someone like this? To take care of someone before you must return to the shadow of being cared for.

I should be happy to get to move in with Shun.

But she isn’t.

She just wants moments like this to last forever. There is so much untold but mutually understood...

“Sora... I’m sorry. I’m sorry I love your nightmare. Days like these. I’m sorry that I’m your friend. Things are going to hurt a lot more for all of us before it gets better.”

“...Weirdo.“

That much affection in one word...

Outside, the nameless girl sways, covered in feathers.

#arcvmonth2023 #arcvmonth

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