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tsuki-sennin · 3 years

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Mina-san, bonne lecture~! (Tsuki recaps his feelings about Kamen Rider Saber, a personal essay.)

So, Saber... what a wild ride it's been, huh? Just a quick heads up, this is very long and rambling, and also contains spoilers for everything in Saber. It's fine if you don't wanna read all this, but I just wanted to get my thoughts out there.

TL:DR, Kamen Rider Saber's an undercooked hot mess I absolutely adore, warts and all.

Speaking as objectively as possible, it's a 6/10. Probably closer to a 5 than a 7... it's not great: All the different plot elements are cluttered and weirdly paced; character focus is disjointed and clearly biased toward certain characters, leaving great ones like Kento and Ogami, interesting ones like Kamijo and Hayato, and underdeveloped ones like Sophia and especially the Shindais in the dust; not to mention its balance of comedy and drama is off, and while both are very effective, there's a lot of mood whiplash that can take you out of the story. I also feel like a lot of the easily avoidable character conflict could've been easily resolved, even in universe, by simple conversations. Be careful Fukuda, I think Inoue might sue you if he finds out you've been biting his style and doing it worse.

Rider shows have a very frustrating tendency to drop cool form ideas and not do anything with them, and I don't think it's ever been more the case than with Saber. There's a similar argument to be made with the majority of Heisei Phase 2 after Gaim, but wow. The suits are expensive to make without just straight up recycling everything, I get that, but man, I really wanted to see more Wonder Rider forms. How come Touma got all the fun, eh? Of note are the Blades King of Arthur forms (which look amazing by the way), Espada's Jaaku Dragon forms (one of which I even drew last night), even the non-elemental random Wonder Ride Books all have awesome design elements that go tragically unused. Even if the other Swordsmen just kinda have the ones they do get to use slapped onto them, that's at least something. Touma also just straight up only uses Diago Speedy twice and never again. You have cool props guys, don't waste them like that!

Speaking of waste, Espada, goddamn. Since most of the Wonder Ride Books are Story Type and he needs one very specific Story Book to transform, he doesn't get much of... anything, really! No Wonder Rider forms like Blades, Lamp Do Cerberus being exclusive to Ganbarizing, only getting to use the Ride Gatriker like once, he even spends the second and third arcs as a completely different Rider, then once he comes back he doesn't get a King of Arthur-granted upgrade or even a Necrom Espada form. ...at least, not yet anyway. I'm holding out hope for Espada x Necrom and the eventual Saber V-Cinemas. Extra Rider stans, we will be well respected someday.

The Unreal Engine CGI used for fights in early Chapters was pretty good but wow it feels disconnected and they really drop it quick. I feel like if the animators had more freedom to use as many forms as they want, we'd have gotten a lot more mileage out of the books beyond... decoration basically. I actually really liked the CGI sequences, they felt creative and were fun to follow along with.

The soundtrack is pretty great on its own and conveys what it needs to, but they seriously overplay the orchestral themes. It honestly feels kind of... stock at times. I think my favorite parts of the score are when it winds down, since it feels a lot more natural and lets the cinematographers and actors speak for themselves.

As awesome as I think Falchion's design and the Mumeiken Kyomu are, The Phoenix Swordsman and the Book of Ruin comes up short as its own standalone thing. You'd think 30 or so minutes of non-stop action would be awesome, and it almost is? It's as good as a typical episode of the series with a higher action budget, but it kinda drags on a bit too long; and although I think Emotional Dragon looks cool, it feels a bit tacked on. Coming off of the incredible Zero-One REAL×TIME, it doesn't give you much room to breathe, which Rider films are typically great at handling. I also thought the resolution for the kid's subplot was kinda forced. He does an okay job at acting considering his age and doesn't overstay his welcome, but I really don't see how 20 minutes of violence and action is enough to convince him to be brave enough to go play with the other kids. 5/10, it's closer to a 4 than a 6 and I think that maybe Zero-One should've stood on its own if they really had to push back Kiramager Bee-Bop Dream because of the pandemic.

Alright, with all that said... As imperfect and undercooked Saber was, like Ghost I can consider it a personal favorite, 10/10. Call it a guilty pleasure if you want, but holy hell it's just the show I needed. Takuro Fukuda has a talent for creating fun, wonderful characters and utterly fascinating worldbuilding and concepts. It's a shame he doesn't utilize them fully, but hey!

The action and fight choreography are pretty top notch as usual. Lots of beautiful shot composition and set pieces, and plenty of great angles to help keep up with the extra busy action. I love watching the suit actors perform and they deserve all the respect in the world for their hard work in those hot, sweaty, and heavy costumes. Their visual design is also top notch, with lots of unique and fascinating forms and cool weapons I desperately want to play with despite being broke, all with spectacular finishers and hype jingles with the voice of Akio motherfucking Ohtsuka calling them out. A real feast for the eyes. Not a single bad suit among them, yeah I said it, fight me.

The crossover specials are soooo good too.

-I went over my feelings on the Zenkaiger crossover episodes in a separate post (good luck finding that btw), but to sum it up, they were great character moments for Zox and the Shindai siblings with lots of great screwball comedy and some good old fashioned meta humor.

-The Ghost crossovers are great little side stories all about how Daitenku Temple somehow had the Ghost Ijunroku Wonder Ride Book? I genuinely have no idea why it was there, or how Makoto had the Specter Gekikou Senki, and as far as I remember neither of their origins are explained. Did Luna or Tassel hand them off to them and told them to wait for a sword guy? And why do these generic French Revolution Gamma villains working for Danton get their asses handed to them so easily by Kanon, who literally just became a Rider? I thought that Makoto deciding to adopt all the Kanon clones into his family was both hilarious and adorable though; considering all the crap they went through, I think it was a good ending to this plot. Gimme Espada x Necrom already Toei/Bandai/Fukuda/whoever I need to yell at, give Kento things to do, I beg you.

-I haven't actually seen Super Hero Senki since it's not available for subbing yet, but apparently there's a Journey to the West plot starring the Taros and Ohma Zi-O and I want to see that so badly.

Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra? Yoohei Kawakami? A match made in heaven, that's what they are. All of their themes are absolute bangers. All of them. Almighty, Kamen Rider Saber, Sparks, Taju Rokou, all excellent and empowering pieces. Rewrite the Story, Will Save Us, and The Story Never Ends are all amazing inserts done by the cast, and it makes me wish we had even more of them to help break up the monotony of the score.

The characters are what easily make this show such a great watch though. For the most part, they have great personalities and chemistry, consistently fun and interesting scenes, well acted and... sometimes well-written development, and deeply investing personal stakes.

Narrating it all is the delightfully eccentric Tassel/Viktor, portrayed by Romanesque Ishitobi "TOBI" of the Paris-based Les Romanesques. I was utterly confused by his presence at first, wondering why there needed to be a narrator when the story would've been perfectly fine without it. He even got a special spot in the opening despite having no stake in the plot despite seeming to live in Wonderworld, who the hell is this guy? But then I thought "OH MY GOD, HE'S THE MAIN VILLAIN USING TOUMA AS THE HERO IN HIS OWN TWISTED STORY, THE BASTARD". I thought it'd be some subversion of expectations, true form, "That Was His Mistake!" shit. Trust me, it made a lot more sense in my head. I'm very happy that they didn't do that, as I grew to love having male Yuuka Kazami as my narrator, and when he was shown to be actually important by being friends with Yuri my mind was blown. And doubly so when I realized just how deeply necessary to the plot he really is.

Rintaro/Blades is up there as one of my all time favorite secondary Riders, since his curiosity is always consistently funny and adorable, his forms are all gorgeous and impressively designed, his relationships with Mei and Touma are absolutely sweet and compelling to see unfold, and his arcs about becoming willing to call out those he views as family and coming to terms with his feelings of inadequacy and both moving past and using them to strengthen himself are always great lessons to pass on to kids. ...even if they took like 10 goddamn episodes to be conveyed in what could've been 5, but hey, Takaya Yamaguchi does a stand-up job all throughout. Rider veteran Eitoku's refined, almost logical movements with the Suiseiken Nagare absolutely beautiful to see in action, and his final form having the same white and blue color scheme as Zooous's base form is an amazing touch I don't see appreciated enough.

Mei Sudo's also absolutely wonderful, serving as the perfect emotional core of the story, responsible for most of the funniest lines, sweetest character moments, and some of the most deceptively compelling drama. Asuka Kawazu brings the perfect energy for such a dynamic and well rounded character, and absolutely nails her scenes of quiet turmoil. As much as I would've loved her to become a Rider, I don't think she really needed to. She's already done so much to help, and as cool as it would've been to see her pick up a sword and fight alongside them as Espada, Calibur, or Falchion she's already endeared herself to me as one of my favorite supporting characters in the whole franchise.

I can't get enough of my homeboy Kento Fukamiya/Espada. Like Rintaro and everyone else for that matter, he also suffers from Saber's pacing issues; and like his predecessor Valkyrie from Zero-One, he doesn't get a proper upgrade aside from his Wonder Combo, instead becoming an anti-villain using a completely different powerset and shifting the Raimeiken Ikazuchi out of focus for the Ankokuken Kurayami, and I feel there's a serious missed opportunity to see him use Jaaku Dragon with Alangina. However, Ryo Aoki's performance is probably among the most easily praiseworthy in the whole cast, managing to convey both Kento's kind and knightly stoicism as Espada and his emotionally unstable despair as Calibur perfectly, in conjunction with Yuji Nakata's experienced and expressive stuntwork.

Ren Akamichi/Kenzan's a dark horse favorite for sure. I remember back when Saber was first picking up, people hated this breezy mad lad for being such a simple character at first. Overly concerned with strength? Black and white world view? Annoyingly energetic? Agh, real-feeling character flaws, I hate them, get him away from me! But then y'all came crawling back. Eiji Togashi's apparently a bit of a rookie actor, and it really shows with some stilted delivery and the way he sometimes bobs his head when giving his lines, but man he improves dramatically as the series goes on. His inexperience ironically ends up really selling his character development, and his unexpectedly beautiful relationship with Desast is special evidence of that. The Fuusouken Hayate's three modes and Satoshi Fujita putting them to excellent use through his stellar acrobatic movements are also really cool.

Why did Luna have to be a child for so long? Does Wonderworld not age whoever inherits its power? Well since Luna randomly becomes an adult in Super Hero Senki and some of the final episodes, I guess so? Miku Okamoto does a fine job for a kid actor, but she's basically done all the heavy lifting for the whole series and doesn't give Mayuu Yokota enough time to get a feel for her character as an adult. How did she choose Touma to inherit the power anyway? Does she just subconsciously decide to trust him with it upon seeing how kind and passionate about storytelling he is? Well if that's the case, why didn't Kento get at least some of that power too? He's just as important to the merchan- I mean Luna-chan, isn't he? Why did Tassel pick her over someone who isn't a literal child who'd be understandably terrified about basically becoming an embodiment of storytelling?

Sophia also kinda suffers from the same problems. Rina Chinen's voice is very pleasant to listen to, but she doesn't really do much beyond serving as a source of exposition and support. I think her dynamic with Mei's adorable, and given her kindness I can certainly understand the respect Northern Base has for her, but she doesn't really contribute a whole lot. If she could use the Kurayami and become Calibur all this time, then why didn't she take it from Kento and Yuri and do so earlier when Kento decided to go back to being Espada? I know she's not much of a fighter and as the closet thing the Sword of Logos has to a leader after Isaac's death I'd understand not wanting to put her at risk, but considering Storious is destroying the world, and she's very evidently kicking a lot of ass in the first part of the final battle even in the basic Jaaku Dragon form, I think it would've helped a lot, just sayin'. Tassel at least has the excuse of being unable to interact with the real world, but Sophia obviously didn't just be put in charge of Northern Base just because she's a pawn in Isaac's plans right?

Ryou Ogami/Buster is also a victim of the disjointed character focus. I have no problem believing he's an excellent father and fighter thanks to Yuki Ikushima and Jiro Okamoto, respectively, but he feels a bit flat and simple in comparison. His rivalry with Desast is randomly dropped, his wife doesn't even show up until the final episodes, he's kinda sidelined in terms of action a whole lot. I imagine that must've sucked for the Rider Dads out there. He does get to star in his own manga, and that was pretty good, so I guess I can't be too mad.

Tetsuo Daishinji/Slash fares better though. Hiroaki Oka, being a Kamen Rider fanboy himself, manages to make him among the most relatable characters in the series. Not only are his hyperfixation on swordsmithing and anxiety played surprisingly believably, Hirotsugu Mori letting him cut loose is extremely cathartic and hilarious, and you really feel for him when the Onjuuken Suzune becomes the first victim of Calibur!Kento's sword sealing.

Yuri/Saikou's another dark horse favorite, for me at least. "Oh great, Avalon guy's got even more merchandise to sell, I wonder what his Sword of Light is- it's himself. Well... that's different." I admit, I didn't like him at first. He felt like he was there to fill out character dynamics in the absence of both Rintaro and Kento, I thought his gimmick was too silly even if his design and jingles were bangers, I didn't particularly care for his power set. But then XSwordman came around I totally got it. He's an endearing, hard-working man trying his best to catch up on all the cool shit he missed, unafraid of experimentation, ready to throw down at a moment's notice, serving as a wonderful bit of consistent support for our heroes, a truly knightly individual, an absolute Chad. and goddamn does he make me worry. Tomohiro Ichikawa, I salute you good sir.

Even if they fall short compared to the rest of the cast, the Shindai siblings are at least cool enough to not wanna write out entirely. They kinda devolve into comic relief after they become allies, something that villainous Riders from Chase onwards are very prone to doing, and it's especially awkward in their case because I think that they kinda get off scot-free for obeying the obviously sinister and crazy Isaac for so long, as well as driving a wedge between a lot of people and threatening children in Reika's case. I think their sibling dynamic is nice though, even if Fukuda recycled it from Makoto and Kanon and has some... questionable possessive undertones as a result. It's cool how they're basically foils to Touma and Rintaro though. The dispassionate and methodical Reika/Sabela is beautifully played by Angela Mei and her moments of emotional depth are fascinating to watch. Her Rider form is a thing of beauty, and its use of literal the Eneiken Noroshi's smokescreens and Yuki Miyazawa's precise and deadly stinging strikes are a joy to watch. And while Ken Shonozaki's not given the best direction as the undercooked plate of 7-Eleven fried fish that is Ryoga/Durendal, he manages to sell him as an experienced and hardened warrior with an awkward side that's especially evident in the Zenkaiger specials. His goddamn RWBY weapon that is the Jikokuken Kaiji is absolutely sick, I'm a sucker for transforming weapons and its combination of time and water powers is really cool, especially with Yasuhiko Amai's deliberate and forceful acting in the suit.

Daichi Kamijo/the Second Calibur, for as brief as his story was, was a pretty cool starter villain. Hiroyuki Hirayama brings this poor bastard to life in a genuinely touching way. I love how as Calibur he goes full force on his creative use of Wonder Ride Books for attacks, and his debut as Jaou Dragon got my blood pumping. His end is also deeply tragic, and I really felt for him when he realized just how badly he fucked up. Hayato Fukamiya also does wonders for the backstory, and while he also doesn't get much to work with, Mitsuru Karahashi makes his regrets and love for Kento feel genuine.

Legeiel and Zooous are both very intimidating and entertaining villains. On top of being just the right balance of goofy and threatening, Kairu Takano and Koji Saikawa's stage presences are both very strong, and their mixture of camaraderie and in-fighting is extremely believable. Zooous's rivalry with Rintaro feels incredible to see through to the end, and although Legeiel doesn't get quite the same treatment, Elemental Dragon had such a cool debut that it more than makes up for it. Their final fights are also absolute spectacles. I don't think their sympathetic angle works even close to as well as it does with MetsubouJinrai or even the Gamma, but I get it, power corrupts, and you probably feel a lot of sadness and regret for things you've done when you die unless you're a right bastard.

Isaac/Master Logos/Solomon is kinda generic. As wonderful as Keisuke Soma is, he doesn't get much dimension to work with. The result of that is while he nails being as smug and punchable as possible, he feels almost... comically generic. Genta Umemori from Shinkenger was full of personality! He was also basically some guy, but he was fun, he felt connected to the rest of the cast! Meanwhile the only real time we get to see Isaac's depth is when we see him crying over his failures. I almost appreciate him being unapologetically evil though, since I've seen way too many shows where redeemed villains get off scot free for way worse things, and some where they outright demand you to sympathize with them despite them doing nothing to warrant it.

Bahato/Falchion surprises me by not just being a movie villain whose actions affect the main plot, but also being a movie villain who actually gets to appear in series as a recurring threat! ...and it's not a particularly great showing on his part, sadly. Masashi Taniguchi does a wonderful job with what he's given, but his character feels like a retread of Eternal without any of what made Katsumi Daido a compelling and frightening villain. I'd like to believe Yuri when he says that he used to be a good person and a hero to the people, but I can only hear so many anime villain monologues about the pointlessness of life and the beauty of destruction before I can never take them seriously again. ...I think that's his biggest problem, actually. I thought he was an overall uninteresting and generic villain in the movie, and the cartoon nihilist he's shown to be in series is only a small step up. He still feels like filler. If only there were a far better written and much cooler villain who takes on the Mumeiken Kyomu after his de--

Desast is probably one of the finest anti-villains I've ever seen in recent years. On top of an absolutely badass character design and the excellent combination of Kazuya Okada/Danki Sakae's suit work and Koki Uchiyama's stellar voice acting, his story being so thoroughly intertwined with Ren's makes their shared journey and bromance a borderline Shakespearean tragedy. His struggle for identity despite Storious treating him as nothing more than a failed experiment and the Sword of Logos treating him as a mere monster really gripped me, and the way he uses what little time he has left to encourage Ren into blossoming on his own is absolutely beautiful. I think his enmity with Ogami is criminally underexplored in series, considering he killed several of the previous Riders and how Ogami's in desperate need of screentime.

Then there's our main villain, Kamen Rider Storious. Robin Furuya brings an incredible amount of charisma to this character, expertly portrayed as both a sinister, manipulative bastard , and as a lonely, tragic figure that arguably makes him feel even more villainous. Speaking as a struggling writer myself, it's easy to feel stuck in the idea of "fuck it, who cares, maybe everything is predestined", but I can't imagine what it's like to know that as the truth and carry it with you for all that time. All of your grand ideas have roots from your experiences, and you're not the only one who even could have those experiences. It's easy to just fall into despair and give up trying, but would that make you happy? Sure, Storious is sadistic, he may be fulfilling his goals, he may be ungodly powerful... but it's not enough for him, is it? All of his friends are gone, one of them even at his own hand, he probably doesn't have any idea what to do after he destroys all the world's stories, Touma even reached his full power before he did, and his downfall is so predictable that even a blind person could see it. He even seems to welcome it, what's up with that? But then I realized... OH MY GOD, HE'S THE MAIN VILLAIN USING TOUMA AS THE HERO IN HIS OWN TWISTED STORY, THE BASTARD. He's so far gone, he's so desperate to stick it to the Almighty Book, he's willing to twist the archetype of the Hero's Journey so hard, it snaps in two. What I think is interesting is that he's ironically trying to chase the trend of "edgy superhero story" that became super popular in the 21st century. The Boys, Brightburn, Kamen Rider Amazons, The Sentry, No More Heroes, Magical Girl Site, even mainstream comics from DC and Marvel... Surely Storious must've seen the cruelty and tragedy these stories are filled with, but he chooses to go through with trying to force the world into this direction anyway. Did they, along with seeing the ever-popular tragedies of legendary playwrights and bleak satire of the twentieth century fuel his despair?

And yet... there's one who stands in determination against his ideals.

Our hero, Touma Kamiyama, the titular Kamen Rider portrayed by Syuichiro Naito and Kousuke Asai, he speaks to me on a personal level. There're plenty of jokes to be made about his procrastination in early chapters, his godless fashion sense, and him doing the funny run up the slope, that's all fine and dandy, but I rarely feel so connected to a character the way I did Touma. The struggle to create, find companionship, live your life, reach out to others... these're things a lot of people struggle with, and of course you see them depicted a lot in media about creators, but Saber gets to the root of what the greatest thing about storytelling really is. Giving people hope, while using the pain of the past as fuel for the future. Sure, Storious may be right about how every story has been done as far back as human civilization gets, he may even be right about how any spin or creativity humanity has is outright predestined. It should be pointless to even try, right? That's where Touma Kamiyama disagrees. He didn't spend all that time fighting and creating just to give up at the idea of predestination. His novel writing-fueled creativity in his early training, his devotion to his friends that let him surpass Kamijo as Dragonic Knight, his compassion for the Primitive Dragon that let him combine their powers to destroy Legeiel as Elemental Dragon, his resolve that let Xross Saber dethrone Solomon, and his passion for the craft of storytelling that let our heroes channel their wishes into Wonder Almighty... all stemming from the belief imparted onto him by his predecessor that "Hope lies beyond your resolution." And that you decide how your story ends. He may not be the greatest Rider to some, he may be as lame as others think he is, he may not even be my favorite, but I have no issue calling Touma Kamiyama... Kamen Rider Saber, one of the all time greatest carriers of the Kamen Rider name.

The final chapter's definitely not as great as some other Rider finales, but goddamn. Primitive Dragon consciously choosing to save Touma is so sweet and such a great emotional payoff, I loved jamming out to the opening theme while our boys lay the smackdown on Storious. Wonder Almighty's a fitting final bit to close the main series out with, if not exactly a great one. I think the cover is great, and the book's body is a lovely shade of candy apple red, but I really don't like how its pages are just the covers of the other books copy-pasted onto onto the pages, that feels lazy. Maybe if it were a panorama of all the books' characters, I'd like it a lot more as a symbol of how unified the Swordsmen are, but eh, what can you do? On a related note, does this mean all the "last episode extra final forms" of the Reiwa Era are gonna be named after their series's opening? That's a neat idea.

I felt a lot of feelings seeing all those video messages of Rider fans all across Japan talking about their favorite stories, and how their passion and fond memories help reshape the world. Mei's monologue at the ceremony about is also really touching and- IS THAT A HUMAGEAR!? :O

Y-yeah dude, it is! Wow, where have you guys been for the past 48 episodes?! Are you guys doing okay? How come you're like... the only one here? Is the technology of Hiden Intelligence only really that prevalent in that very specific metropolitan part of Japan and they're just not coming around much over here? Is it like Dragon Ball where anthropomorphic animals are just vibin' with humans while the heroes are off kicking ass? Apparently he's played by Hasegawa Keiichi, who wrote this episode and had the award ceremony named after him. ...is Hasegawa Keiichi a HumaGear in this universe then? Did he set up this award ceremony in Touma's honor? If so, why is it named after him? Did reading one of Touma's books lead to his Singularity? I know this is just a cameo, but... god, I have so many questions that probably will never be satisfactorily answered.

Overall, if I had to compare Saber to anything, it'd probably be Sam Reimi's Spider-Man trilogy. It's awkward, stupid, overwrought, undercooked, illogically written, scattershot, cheesy as fuck, and has a tendency to squander its otherwise fine execution; but the sheer passion for storytelling, sense of spectacle, deeply fascinating characters, and belief in the ideals set forth by the cast, crew, and fans are absolutely admirable. Improvements would certainly make it an overall better experience, to be sure, but there's something deeply captivating about how wonky this series is. Seeing everybody get their happy ending after all they've been through felt extremely gratifying though, and I may have to wait another for the epilogue to and then wait for Revice, but... man. I'm hella proud of our awkwardly-emoting, fashion disaster novelist and all of his heavily flawed friends for carrying the Kamen Rider name on to the future. Here's hoping Revice will keep it going.

Alright, that's everything I wanted to talk about. Sorry this was so long and ramble-y, I had a lot to say. I'll probably be liveblogging Revice as episodes of that come out, so... look forward to that, I guess. See ya.

#kamen rider saber #long post #tsuki talks #personal #kamen rider #whew #ok bye have a nice day

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nikkalia · 5 years

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Pops in the Park

TITLE: Pops in the Park

AUTHOR: Nikkalia

PAIRING: Tom/OFC

RATING: M

SUMMARY: This is the result of a conversation on Discord about Loki!Tom crashing a concert. It went downhill from there... Dedicated to my darling @igotloki

NOTES/WARNINGS: (kinks, triggers, general warnings.) Smut, which is really difficult to write in first person for some reason...

TAGS: @igotloki @fandom-and-feminism @mrshiddleston-uk @fadingcoast @mischievousbellerina

NOTES: Someone remind me to fix the hashtags later?

“Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for coming... No,” I whispered to no one. Speeches make me nervous and you could definitely hear it in my voice. “Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for joining us tonight...this evening. Ugh, why do they make me do this?”

“Because Anthony Daniels canceled when it wasn’t all about Star Wars,” Mike answered, grinning. “Relax, you’ve got this.”

“No respect from my concertmaster,” I smirked as he clapped my shoulder.

“So, is the magic man making an appearance tonight?”

“Nope. He’s otherwise occupied.”

Mike laughed. “What does that even mean?”

I shrugged. “It means...he won’t be here.”

“Oh, come on. He can’t pull away from whatever he’s filming for one night to celebrate your 5 year anniversary with us? Loser.”

“Whatever.” I blew out a sigh and looked back over my notes. “Really hate speeches.”

“See, magic man should’ve been here. He likes to talk and the ladies love to listen.” Mike winked and got a smack on the arm for his trouble before wandering off.

He wasn’t wrong. Tom loved to talk and everyone loved his voice, not just the ladies. In the two plus years we've been together, I’d never known him to refuse an opportunity to tell a story - except to hear me tell one. He was the only man I’d ever met that could listen as intently as he does, to make you feel like the entire universe centered around you. Management had actually approached his agent about serving as emcee when Daniels backed out, and they declined, citing a previous commitment. Which was, at the time, a bald-faced lie.

We argued about the timing of this show only a few days prior to the request because the concert was so close to our own anniversary. He had, in typical Tom fashion, made some grand plans involving travel and luxuries and all the things that drove my simplistic heart manic with worry, and hadn’t bothered to check the concert calendar. So, when I told him I couldn’t blow off the fund-raising event of the season, he went ballistic.

And I fired back. How dare he get upset when he’d canceled God knows how many times in favor of an audition? Where did he get off saying that one night wasn’t as important as ‘us’ when he’d confused night after night for his career? It turned really ugly and I ended up flying back to New York earlier than planned because of it. We didn’t speak for a week, and all of our communication after that was strained. Six weeks later, I stopped hearing from him altogether, despite assurances from his mother and sisters that we were still very much a couple. He was deep in some remote area with no wireless signal, they said. I sighed, pushing back tears.

“Two minutes to curtain. Oh, and I’m supposed to tell you that an emcee has been located. You’re off the hook.” a stagehand told me.

“Thank you, God!”

I found Mike walking toward me, making sure everyone was ready to go.

“Conductor,” he nodded, a glint of mischief in his eye.

“Concertmaster,” I nodded back, grinning. Our pre-show ritual complete, he returned to his place in the lineup and the procession began with the welcoming announcement. I watched from the wings as the line of bodies filed into their seats to thunderous applause. The house looked to be full. “Must be doing something right,” I said to the stagehand.

A hush fell over the crowd, followed by the sound of a solid A from Mike. The strings followed, then woodwinds, brass. Mike nodded again. I nodded back, then to the stagehand, who gave his own cue to the booth. I took a deep breath, prayed a little prayer, and strode out on the stage as the house announcer introduced me. I bowed, gesturing to the musicians who were doing all of the real work tonight, and smiled.

“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage our master of ceremonies for the evening, mister Robert Downey, Jr.”

Bob strode out to the center of the stage, grinning from ear to ear.

I shot the dirtiest look to Mike, mouthing, “You knew.”

He shrugged, then smiled. Jackass.

“Maestra, you look stunning,” I heard beside me. He leaned in for a cheek-to-cheek kiss, lingering a little longer than maybe he should have. “He misses you,” he finally whispered, pulling away.

“Then he should be here.” I croaked. Poor Bob, reduced to a mere messenger boy. “Shall we?”

Being the gentleman that he is, Robert led me to the platform, holding my hand as I made the tiny step up, then returned to the podium on the other side of the stage.

I reviewed the first few measures of the music in front of me while Robert began his speech. He told the audience of his love for the music we would begin the performance with, the “John Williams Suite”. It was an orchestration I’d been working on for months, often to Tom’s frustration. Sheet music tended to consume the kitchen table in my loft apartment, something that was not at all conducive to his attempts to cook for me. I smiled as we began with ‘Indiana Jones’ themes, recalling a particular incident where he walked into the apartment completely unannounced, arms overloaded with grocery bags to find the table had been covered with scores from half a dozen films. He just sighed and went into the kitchen to begin cooking. Another meal on the sofa, he lamented. I simply kept on writing, struggling to get the transition between ‘E.T.’ and ‘Jurassic Park’ just right.

The music followed into the Star Wars medley. Lost in memory, I had to pull myself together enough to get through the rest of the piece. ‘Duel of the Fates’ was no joke to perform, much less conduct. Some of the choir members referred to it as the marathon. The horn players laughed at them until I reminded them that this was the reason why I stretched my arms before every rehearsal. Tom knew when rehearsals were intense by the way I held my shoulders afterward. He’d always massage the muscles, wondering if I was perhaps a bit too animated in my conducting. I’d always ask if he was perhaps a bit too animated when he read the Saint Crispin’s speech. That’s usually when the tickling started.

After a few moments pause for the audience to show their appreciation, and for the orchestra to move sheet music around, we moved into a mix of old and new Star Trek themes, ending with the suite from Into Darkness. There has been a great deal of debate within the group as to which series - old or new - was better, followed by discussions of films, actors, approaches, and which made my little geeky heart happy. Tom had no comment on the matter, despite the fact that his eyes lit up a little more when we opted to watch Ben’s version of Khan instead of the original.

The piece finished and Robert began rambling on about music and film and... I stopped paying attention after a few seconds, focusing again on the upcoming music. One of the stagehands appeared on my right and placed a wireless mic on the music stand. I put it on, thinking I would be expected to say a few words about my time with the orchestra, what an honor it was, blah blah blah.

Celebrate yourself, Tom would say. If anyone deserves accolades, it’s you. My response was almost always, “yeah, whatever,” which would send him into a 20-minute monologue extolling my virtues as a musician and human. I’ve always preferred to let the music speak for itself.

I heard Robert say “This is gonna be fun,” and knew we were up. I’d arranged a medley of Queen songs - Somebody to Love, I’m Going Slightly Mad, Days of Our Lives, and Bohemian Rhapsody. When Mike saw the score for the first time, he asked if I was okay. I just wasn’t ready to discuss the argument, so I brushed the question off with a shrug. “Feeling nostalgic,” I told him. “Besides, I want to show the altos some love.”

The altos later told me that was not the kind of love they were looking for. The sopranos, however, were ecstatic. Divas, the whole lot of them.

Music from the MCU finished out the evening. Black Panther, Thor, Captain Marvel, and all the Avengers films wrapped into 10 minutes. It was supposed to be for Tom. I’d seriously contemplated scrapping the whole section after the fight but the entire orchestra vetoed the idea, citing it as the “entertaining” piece of the evening. I knew that if the musicians weren’t happy, no one was happy, so it stayed but they just wanted to play Immigrant Song.

We’d moved through to ‘Portals’ from the Endgame soundtrack and I could feel the energy of the audience change. They started shouting and clapping behind me. Maybe they’re loving the music with the latest movie having been released. We reached the scripted pause, and I kept going, but the orchestra doesn’t. They just sat there staring at me, and I was suddenly aware of “Loki” being chanted behind me. I glared at Mike, who’s grinning like the Cheshire Cat. That’s when the glint of gold caught my eye. I turned, finally dropping my arms when my mouth follows suit.

Loki, or Tom, in full Loki regalia, strode toward me like a demi-god possessed. The horns sat above smoldering eyes, cape flowing behind him as he approached me like an animal stalking his prey. It took every ounce of self-control I had not to pounce on him in front of God and the globe. I never could resist that costume, and he knew it. Instead, I simply crossed my arms.

“Please,” he growled, the swagger growing, “don’t stop on my account. Summon your Avengers.”

“Bad enough you destroy half of Manhattan with some half-baked scheme to take over the world. Now, you have the audacity to crash my gig and interrupt their music?”

He stopped short, head cocking to one side. I don’t think he was entirely sure if I was serious or just playing along. The infamous smile returned.

“Forgive me. The interruption of the arts is indeed a sin, but the purpose behind my visit warrants such sacrilege.” When I didn’t answer, he removed his helmet, eliciting a new wave of cheers from the crowd. His hair was its natural ginger, long and wildly out of control. He turned to them and held a finger to his goateed lips, a la 2013’s Comic-Con visit before placing the helmet on the stage.

“I have found myself lamenting the loss of something very dear to me of late. Something that I believe you alone can help me recover.” He paused, his voice echoing through the speakers while his hands fell to his sides. “It pains me to admit such shortcomings, but I find that I am weaker without you, that I am lost without your presence in my life. I am heartbroken at each day that passes without the sound of your voice. So,” his cloak flew behind him with a flourish and he fell to one knee. A collective gasp came from the audience and the stage. “My lady, would you consider restoring to me the grace of your life and your love on a permanent basis?”

What the hell is happening? I glanced over at Mike. He and the rest of the orchestra are literally sitting on the edge of their seats. When I turn back to Tom, his arm is extended towards me, a small box with a ring sitting in the palm of his hand. Tom, channeling Loki, channeling King Hal. I was doomed.

“Will you consent to be my queen and my love? Will you marry me?”

His head dropped and my heart leaped into my throat. Time seemed to slow to a crawl while I recalled every fight, every laugh, every moment of passion and joy and sorrow. How could I possibly say yes? How could I not?

The soft sound of a camera lens focusing on me snapped me out of my time stop. He was still on bended knee, his arm shaking a bit. I stepped off of the platform and lifted his chin. For all his eloquence, I could only come up with a single word response.

“Yes.”

Tom jumped to his feet and kissed me as everyone within earshot roared with approval. ‘All I Ask of You’ began to play and I made a mental note to fire then promote Mike later, as I was sure he’d been part of this plot all along. A moment passed in his arms before he finally stepped back, scooping up the golden horns.

“I shall be waiting with white horses, my queen.”

“And here I thought you’d want me to play you out.”

“As long as it’s not ‘Performance Issues’.”

“No promises.” I winked then stepped back onto the platform. “Ladies and gentlemen, shall we skip to the end?” Mike nodded and everyone found their page. I raised my hands and music from the Avengers theme rang out in the park.

Tom bowed to me before he slid the helmet back over his head, turned and walked to the side of the stage where Robert stood, raising his hands in victory when applause followed. I caught them embracing out of the corner of my eye and knew I’d have to give both of them grief later for the first glimpse of ‘FrostIron.’

We made it to the loft long after the final note sounded. There had been a sea of people congratulating me on the concert, the engagement, and everything in between. Tom vanished long enough to de-Loki, much to my disappointment, but stayed right next to me for the rest of the night. When we were finally able to leave, he ushered me out to a white Jag. White horses, indeed.

He zipped through the streets of Manhattan with ease, taking as many backroads as possible to avoid traffic. I took the time to get a good look at the ring, and oh God was it stunning. A large oval stone set on its side with two smaller stones at either end set in a band of polished silver knotwork. Definitely handcrafted and a perfect fit.

“The band’s tungsten. I know how hard you are on jewelry,” Tom said with a wink.”The stones are moldavite, amethyst, and garnet.” he glanced over, a smile on his face. “Us.”

“It’s perfect,” I blushed a little, hoping he wouldn’t notice. “And you’re a dork of the highest caliber.”

That little laugh that drives all the ladies crazy slipped out as he nodded and pulled into the parking garage. Our elevator ride was silent as the family that snuck in just as the doors were closing bombarded Tom with more questions about Loki than I’d ever come up with. It made me think we’d have to take the service elevator from now on.

All thoughts of anything beyond the man wrapped around me vanished as soon as the apartment door closed. Tom spun me around, planting a kiss that went from chaste to passion in point zero six seconds. I heard my keys hit the floor after I missed the end table. He growled when I tried to pick them up, nipping a little harder at my neck, pushing me toward the bedroom.

We were all hands trying to shed clothes on the way. You’d think that as much coordination we had individually, we’d be able to make it look as graceful as it did in the movies. The poor boy got so frustrated that he picked me up, carried me down the hallway, and dropped me on the bed. Shoes and socks off, he stepped closer to unzip my dress while I worked on his pants. The ‘conda sprang free as soon as the zipper fell. Another growl came from above when I wrapped my hand around it, morphing into a moan as when lips added.

The bed dipped to one side a little with the weight of his leg. His hands rested on my shoulders as he tried to steady himself while I rolled my tongue around his cock. I couldn’t see his eyes with his head leaned back, but knew he was lost in the sensations, his hips rocking back and forth. He pulled out suddenly, tugged my hands away and upward to my feet.

Another kiss, slower and more passionate while he finally figured out the zipper of my gown. His hands moved the fabric down, and the frustrated moan came when he remembered just how much effort went into making slinky black dresses look good. He nuzzled and nipped his way across my face and down my neck while he fumbled with the clasps of my bra. I returned the favor, dragging teeth along his neck until I was able to get his shirt open.

What was left of my clothing dropped to the floor in one swift motion when Tom dropped to his knees, pushing me back onto the bed. I slid up the mattress and he followed, kissing and licking his way up my legs. He stopped at my hips, licking upward along the inside of my thigh but never quite made it to the center.

“If all you’re gonna do is tease,” I panted, “then get up here.”

“You would deny me the pleasure of devouring your already dripping quim?” Loki’s voice followed the dark, lust filled eyes that looked up at me. Before I could wrap my brain around my impending demise by god-lust, a finger slid inside me, followed by another. The smirk became a grin and he lowered his mouth to my clit, his eyes never leaving mine.

He growled again as he began to suck, slowly pumping his ridiculously long fingers in and out of my pussy. I tried to squirm away when he picked up the pace and he wrapped his free arm around my leg, locking me in place. I lost count of how many times he brought me to the edge only to back off and begin again. My fingers found their way into his hair, tugging him upward, only to be rewarded with his teeth dragging across my swollen bud.

“Not until you cum,” he purred, still latched on to me. He began thrusting the fingers inside me, curling them around to brush against that little bundle of nerves while he clamped down with lips and teeth. It didn’t take long for my body to shatter beneath him, my orgasm tearing its way out of me with a scream. He anchored me down with both arms, sucking out every last drop I could offer.

When I came back to reality, he was making a slow path up my body, his breath hot on my skin. His lips finally reached mine and I took rough possession of them, wanting to taste him. The tip of his cock brushed against my pussy and I shivered. Tom pulled away a bit.

“Need a bit longer to recover?” he whispered, nuzzling against my cheek.

“Absolutely not.” I pulled him closer to me and shifted a bit, sliding a hand down his stomach. “Only thing I need is you.” My fingers wrapped around his length and guided him inside.

“Oh. My. Go...” The last syllable was lost in the moan that rumbled in his chest. He was completely still above me except the slow thrust to push himself deeper, nearly purring as he went. I moved my hands along his sides and he sighed. “Been too long. Won’t last.”

“Ditto,” I breathed into his ear, “on both counts. Just move.”

Tom obliged, rocking his hips back and forth, moving a little faster with each thrust. I tried to lift my hips to his, but he built a pace I just couldn’t maintain. All I could do was hold onto him, losing myself in the feeling his body in mine and the sounds we made. His moans took on a higher pitch and his thrusts became erratic until every muscle in his body tensed, his seed spilling in waves. Feeling him cum sent me back over the edge, and I could’ve sworn I heard him chuckle as I clamped down around him.

We lay tangled in each other for a while, basking in the afterglow. He finally moved to the side, eliciting a groan from both of us when he did. Ever the gentleman, he let me duck into the loo first while he turned down the bed. Both settled back in bed, I curled up next to him, my head resting on his chest.

“Love?” he whispered, toying with a lock of my hair. “Are you sure?”

“Sure of what?”

“This,” he spoke as he ran his fingers along my left hand to the ring. “I know you wouldn’t have refused me in front of the entire world and half of Manhattan, even if you wanted to.” I lifted my head from his chest to look at him. There was a genuine concern on his face as he sighed. “So, are you sure?”

“You’re serious?” His face turned sheepish. “Then let me answer a question with a question.”

“What? You hate it when I do that!” He sat up a bit and I pressed a finger to his lips.

“Thomas William Loki Adam Hank Henry Robert Freddie Jonathan Oakley Hiddleston the fifth, Lord Nooth, rightful king of the Jotunheim, England, Ireland, Scotland...”

“Okay, okay, enough,” he chuckled. I grinned at him.

“Will you marry me?” His eyes went wide and teared up a bit. He began nodding furiously until I kissed him.

Neither of us slept that night.

#fanfic #tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston fluff #tom hiddleston rpf #tom hiddleston smut

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atomicdeke · 4 years

Note

i forgot if i sent you any. black and carob for either boi.

Black (CW: Depictions of extreme violence, dismemberment, and death)

Jaaster gets quiet as he closes his eyes and begins taking deep, rhythmic breaths. Each breath gets the tiniest bit further apart from the last, and his posture relaxes. Finally, he opens his eyes and speaks in a calm, detached voice. “Not too long ago, hired thugs tried to burn down my family’s farm. I was not there, but after the attack failed, I made my way there as quickly as I could. One of them, a man named Edwin, was caught by the hounds, and he was still there when I arrived.”

There’s a pause, and Vander notices a momentary tremor in Jaaster’s hand, which causes the young man to close his eyes and clench his fist until it stops. Vander clears his throat loudly and asks, “Anything the matter, old boy?” Jaaster opens his eyes, shakes his head calmly, and continues.

“I took Edwin to the shack we would use to cure meat from the animals we hunted, and I began asking him questions. Who sent him? What was he trying to accomplish? Why was my family targeted? He would not answer, so I began hurting him. He did not know much, but, when I was done with him, I believe he told me everything he knew.” Jaaster sits in silence for a few moments. “If my brother had not been there, I do not know if I would have stopped hurting him. I...I hope so.”

Jaaster stands abruptly, saying, “I need some air,” before walking out of the room.

Vander keeps his eyes on the door as though he can see Jaaster beyond it. “Interesting, isn’t it? The depths that some people can plumb when pushed far enough?” Turning his attention back to his questioner, the Duskwight smiles easily. “I suppose that makes it my turn, then?”

Taking a moment to think, he snaps his fingers. “Ah! I have one from my days in the Shroud. Back in that heady youth of mine, when life was nothing but knocking over wagons and breaking heads left and right.”

“This story is about three little wagons headed for Quarrymill, bearing arms and supplies for the Wood Wailers stationed there. See, that little outpost has always held a special place in my heart. It was my first real taste of civilization in the world above. The beginning of a long and sordid history dealing with the hatred and the bigotry of the forestborn.” Vander pauses, arching an eyebrow at his questioner. “Not to put too fine a point on it, but had I the wherewithal back then, I would have burned Quarrymill to the ground. Failing that, I and my merry band of cutthroats and highwaymen did our utmost to cut their supply lines.”

Vander leans back in his seat and kicks his feet up on the table. “But the wagons, yes? The Wailers were growing quite tired of losing shipments en route, so they laid a trap for us. A trio of wagons, all but unguarded to the untrained eye. I’ll admit, none of my compatriots were terribly discerning, and when faced with an easy score, I jumped at the opportunity, as well.”

He pulls out a pipe and adds a pinch of powder in the bowl before lighting it, a bitter odor beginning to waft through the air as he takes a puff. “We lost about half our number before we realized the Wailers were among us, that the hunters had become the prey. A few of us stood and fought, but most of those that survived the initial moments ran back into the woods. One by one, the Wailers took my companions down until only I was left. By the time I knew I was surrounded, there were twenty of the bastards closing in with their spears.”

Vander takes another puff and exhales the smoke, then grins. “They never stood a chance. I could tell you that this fight was a symphony, that the Wailers were an orchestra and I their conductor. I could paint such a picture that you’d believe me an artist, with my axe as my brush and that forest trail my canvas.” The Duskwight shakes his head.

“No, friend, I was no artist, but a field hand. I tore through them like a scythe through wheat. I lopped pieces off of them like so many branches of a tree. Heads went sailing into bushes like dandelions on the breeze. There was no beauty to be seen here. Only savagery.”

He takes a deep breath and lets out a heavy sigh. “When it was all over, there were the wagons, stacked high with gear and foodstuffs that would have kept my band living high on the hog for moons. In that moment, though, all I could think about was blood. Blood, and a warning to send to any who dared think they could trap us. Trap me. I took their heads, planted them on their spears, and made a ring around the wagons, which I set ablaze.”

Vander chuckles and shakes his head. “I was quite proud of that one for a bit. I mean, all of that before I’d even seen nineteen winters! Can you imagine? Of course, it was short-sighted and pigheaded, but I was full of piss and vinegar, and no one was about to tell me what I could have done better. I wouldn’t have stood for it!” He frowns. “Hm. Perhaps I should have told one from my days at sea, when my head was on a bit straighter. Ah, well. Darkness is darkness, isn’t it, friend?”

Carob

After several minutes, Jaaster reenters the room and sits down. As the question is asked, Vander leans forward. “I’ll start this one off, if you don’t mind?” The interrogative is more directed at the younger man, who shakes his head and gestures for Vander to go on.

“Ah, thank you. Now, let’s see, what do I look for in a friend? Well, they would have to be fun first and foremost, wouldn’t they? Otherwise, what would be the point?”

Jaaster’s face twists up as he squints at the Duskwight. “Wait...fun? I mean, yeah, that’s nice, sure, but...shouldn’t a friend be loyal? Someone you can count on to be there for you, just like you would be for them?” He jumps a bit as Vander starts laughing, then narrows his eyes. “I’m serious.”

The older man wipes at his eyes as his laughter subsides. “Aha, I’m sorry, truly, but that was simply adorable! Such naive idealism likely serves you well in your line of work, Jaaster, when you need the rich and powerful to loosen their purse strings and dribble a few gil here and there so you can feed and heal an urchin or two. I imagine you’ve wooed more than one mogul with those puppy dog eyes and your dancing bear routine.” Vander looks the Coerthan up and down speculatively. “I wonder what manner of beast you could let out, were you not so set in your role as a lapdog?”

Vander brings his eyes up to meet Jaaster’s, languid gold locked with clear, angry sapphire. After a moment, the Duskwight grins. “But we were speaking of friends, weren’t we? As much as anyone would tell you otherwise at the drop of a hat, friends are only there for the good times. That being the case, the primary quality to look for in a friend is fun. Why keep someone around if they’re dreary, complicated, or - worst of all - boring? Better to simply put them out of their misery than to let them drag you down with them, I say.”

He stands up suddenly and flashes a smile to Jaaster and their questioner. “Well, I’m famished. I’ll get us some refreshment, and leave you two to talk among yourselves. Nothing too juicy, though, or I’ll be quite cross that I missed it!” As Vander exits the room, Jaaster stares after the man unblinking, and several moments pass before he remembers that someone else is still in the room with him. Turning his attention back to the questioner, he tries to meet their eyes but settles for looking at the ground, instead. “Um...loyalty. Th-that’s what I look for in a friend. Honesty, too. I, uhh...I guess that’s it.”

(Thanks for the ask, @thanidiel!)

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niksfiks · 5 years

Text

Pops in the Park

Originally posted 6/10/19

TITLE: Pops in the Park

AUTHOR: Nikkalia (niksfiks)

PAIRING: Tom/OFC

RATING: M

SUMMARY: This is the result of a conversation on Discord about Loki!Tom crashing a concert. It went downhill from there... Dedicated to my darling @igotloki

NOTES/WARNINGS: (kinks, triggers, general warnings.) Smut, which is really difficult to write in first person for some reason...

“Because Anthony Daniels canceled when it wasn’t all about Star Wars.” Mike answered, grinning. “Relax, you’ve got this.”

“No respect from my concertmaster,” I smirked as he clapped my shoulder.

“So, is the magic man making an appearance tonight?”

“Nope. He’s otherwise occupied.”

Mike laughed. “What does that even mean?”

I shrugged. “It means...he won’t be here.”

“Oh, come on. He can’t pull away from whatever he’s filming for one night to celebrate your 5 year anniversary with us? Loser.”

“Whatever.” I blew out a sigh and looked back over my notes. “Really hate speeches.”

“See, magic man should’ve been here. He likes to talk and the ladies love to listen.” Mike winked and got a smack on the arm for his trouble before wandering off.

“Two minutes to curtain. Oh, and I’m supposed to tell you that an emcee has been located. You’re off the hook.” a stagehand told me.

“Thank you, God!”

I found Mike walking toward me, making sure everyone was ready to go.

“Conductor,” he nodded, a glint of mischief in his eye.

“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage our master of ceremonies for the evening, mister Robert Downey, Jr.”

Bob strode out to the center of the stage, grinning from ear to ear.

I shot the dirtiest look to Mike, mouthing, “You knew.”

He shrugged, then smiled. Jackass.

“Maestra,you look stunning,” I heard beside me. He leaned in for a cheek-to-cheek kiss, lingering a little longer than maybe he should have. “He misses you,” he finally whispered, pulling away.

“Then he should be here.” I croaked. Poor Bob, reduced to a mere messenger boy. “Shall we?”

Being the gentleman that he is, Robert led me to the platform, holding my hand as I made the tiny step up, then returned to the podium on the other side of the stage.

The piece finished and Robert began rambling on about music and film and... I stopped paying attention after a few seconds, focusing again on the upcoming music. One of the stage hands appeared on my right and placed a wireless mic on the music stand. I put it on, thinking I would be expected to say a few words about my time with the orchestra, what an honor it was, blah blah blah.

Celebrate yourself, Tom would say. If anyone deserves accolades, it’s you. My response was almost always, “yeah, whatever,” which would send him into a 20 minute monologue extolling my virtues as a musician and human. I’ve always preferred to let the music speak for itself.

The altos later told me that was not the kind of love they were looking for. The sopranos, however, were ecstatic. Divas, the whole lot of them.

Loki, or Tom, in full Loki regalia, strode toward me like a demi-god possessed. The horns sat above smouldering eyes, cape flowing behind him as he approached me like an animal stalking his prey. It took every ounce of self control I had not to pounce on him in front of God and the globe. I never could resist that costume, and he knew it. Instead, I simply crossed my arms.

“Please,” he growled, the swagger growing, “don’t stop on my account. Summon your Avengers.”

“Bad enough you destroy half of Manhattan with some half-baked scheme to take over the world. Now, you have the audacity to crash my gig and interrupt their music?”

He stopped short, head cocking to one side. I don’t think he was entirely sure if I was serious or just playing along. The infamous smile returned.

“I have found myself lamenting the loss of something very dear to me of late. Something that I believe you alone can help me recover.” He paused, his voice echoing through the speakers while his hands fells to his sides. “It pains me to admit such shortcomings, but I find that I am weaker without you, that I am lost without your presence in my life. I am heartbroken at each day that passes without the sound of your voice. So,” his cloak flew behind him with a flourish and he fell to one knee. A collective gasp came from the audience and the stage. “My lady, would you consider restoring to me the grace of your life and your love on a permanent basis?”

What the hell is happening? I glanced over at Mike. He, and the rest of the orchestra, are literally sitting on the edge of their seats. When I turn back to Tom, his arm is extended towards me, a small box with a ring sitting in the palm of his hand. Tom, channeling Loki, channeling King Hal. I was doomed.

“Will you consent to be my queen and my love? Will you marry me?”

His head dropped and my heart leapt into my throat. Time seemed to slow to a crawl while I recalled every fight, every laugh, every moment of passion and joy and sorrow. How could I possibly say yes? How could I not?

“Yes.”

“I shall be waiting with white horses, my queen.”

“And here I thought you’d want me to play you out.”

“As long as it’s not ‘Performance Issues’.”

“The band’s tungsten. I know how hard you are on jewelry,” Tom said with a wink.”The stones are moldavite, amethyst and garnet.” he glanced over, a smile on his face. “Us.”

“It’s perfect,” I blushed a little, hoping he wouldn’t notice. “And you’re a dork of the highest caliber.”

We were all hands trying to shed clothes on the way. You’d think that as much coordination we had individually, we’d be able to make it look as graceful as it did in the movies. The poor boy got so frustrated that he picked me up, carried me down the hallway, and dropped me on the bed. Shoes and socks off, he stepped closer to unzip my dress while I worked on his pants. The conda sprang free as soon as the zipper fell. Another growl came from above when I wrapped my hand around it, morphing into a moan as when lips added.

“If all you’re gonna do is tease,” I panted, “then get up here.”

“Not until you cum,” he purred, still latched on to me. He began thrusting the fingers inside me, curling them around to brush against that little bundle of nerve while he clamped down with lips and teeth. It didn’t take long for my body to shatter beneath him, my orgasm tearing its way out of me with a scream. He anchored me down with both arms, sucking out every last drop I could offer.

“Need a bit longer to recover?” he whispered, nuzzling against my cheek.

“Absolutely not.” I pulled him closer to me and shifted a bit, sliding a hand down his stomach. “Only thing I need is you.” My fingers wrapped around his length and guided him inside.

“Ditto,” I breathed into his ear, “on both counts. Just move.”

“Love?” he whispered, toying with a lock of my hair. “Are you sure?”

“Sure of what?”

“This,” he spoke as he ran his fingers along my left hand to the ring. “I know you wouldn’t have refused me in front of the entire world and half of Manhattan, even if you wanted to.” I lifted my head from his chest to look at him. There was genuine concern on his face as he sighed. “So, are you sure?”

“You’re serious?” His face turned sheepish. “Then let me answer a question with a question.”

“What? You hate it when I do that!” He sat up a bit and I pressed a finger to his lips.

“Thomas William Loki Adam Hank Henry Robert Freddie Jonathan Oakley Hiddleston the fifth, Lord Nooth, rightful king of the Jotunheim, England, Ireland, Scotland...”

“Okay, okay, enough,” he chuckled. I grinned at him.

“Will you marry me?” His eyes went wide and teared up a bit. He began nodding furiously until I kissed him.

Neither of us slept that night.

#fluff #tom hiddleston rpf #niksfiks

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movienotesbyzawmer · 4 years

Text

The Empire Strikes Back

December 15: The Empire Strikes Back

(previous notes: Star Wars)

Source: Limited Edition DVD, original 1980 edit (Same deal as for Star Wars. The only difference is that with this one, the back of the box actually does mention the fact that it includes the original theatrical cut, in small print.)

Worth noting that this is the Star Wars movie I've seen most recently. A couple of months ago I saw it at Orchestra Hall, with the score performed live by the Minnesota Orchestra. This score is fantastic and that was a great way to experience it. It was the "Special Edition", though. And in January, so 11 months ago, I saw Star Wars the same way.

So this is many Star Wars fans' favorite of the movies. Worth noting that this is probably the least tampered-with of the oft-adjusted original trilogy. I guess with this one it was like "whoa, if it ain't broke don't fix it". I was 9 when it came out and I went to see it numerous times in the theater back then. So the darker vibe was definitely not a problem for me as a child. But when people say that this is the best of the Star Wars movies, my haughty response is to point out that it had an advantage that the first one didn't have in that it had hardly any burden of exposition. But whatevzies, let's press play and take another look at how this unspooled in 1980.

The credits now begin with the Fox logo… then a "Lucasfilm Limited" card. Movin' up in the world, ain't ya George

The first scene is about the probe droids. God damn I love those probe droids. That sound.

But then we cut to Luke on a tauntaun. And then he gets attacked by basically The Abominable Snowman. Again I observe the importance of creature and vehicle design, on display early on in almost all the movies. Although maybe that Wampa isn't all that creative.

Yeah, that Wampa stuff I think got punched up significantly in the re-releases, and seeing the original one now, I guess there just really isn't much there.

Tauntaun freezes to death. Hey, tauntauns, you need to evolve your weak asses if you're going to be on a super cold ice planet. But I've still always liked that stop-motion animation of it dying. Did that stay in the re-releases?

And I VERY much retain the vivid memory of Han slicing open the tauntaun carcass. It was "gory". Watching it now, seems like they actually left a lot to the imagination.

0:19:40 - Cut to Destroyers, and the mama ship which dwarfs them in size. And in the background the Imperial March, first time that's been heard. (I often have to point out that that famous theme was written for Empire, not the first movie.) The back of Vader's head with space backdrop. It's just good cinema, yo.

The Destroyer getting sizzed while the transport gets past it, that's not a very good effect. I'm a bit disappointed.

But more good cinematic introductions… the walkers, first spotted through binoculars! Then a cool shot of a bunch of them approaching! Is good! Then a POV shot of a rebel ship flying through the legs of one of them, looks great! Harpoon trap is very satisfying too.

These spaceports always have ceiling-mounted suction hose things that seem to be exclusively designed to lower R2 units into spaceships. Not much utility is all I'm saying.

0:37:35 - The sound of jump-to-lightspeed fail has become instantly recognizable.

The music here is great, this new asteroid field theme, followed by, at 0:40:00, the super-beautiful, under-appreciated "Han Solo and the Princess" theme making its first appearance.

0:44:25 - This was exciting when I was a kid, the shot of Vader's helmet being lowered onto his head. Mysterious! Kinda gross!

But also gross to me as a kid was how Han & Leia interacted. I was baffled that they ended up together after how dumb he acted to her, like just now when he was aggressive about her sitting on his lap.

0:53:00 - First appearance of The Emperor since the prequels, but this is the original theatrical release so it's a different actor. Actually close enough, though.

Yoda as a Muppet character works remarkably well. Perfectly integrated into this environment. So much definition. Such personality.

Love this bit where the cave they're in is actually a giant serpent monster. They were walking around in its squishy fleshy innards hahaha

Pretty memorable scene now, this one where Luke goes into a dark-side-of-the-force cave and there's frame rate shenanigans and a Darth Vader. Luke has only seen Vader that one time when he sort-of killed Obi-Wan, right? But that's enough for him to be the subject of Nightmare Cave.

"You want the impossible." "I don't believe it." Luke has always been a very flawed person. Childish and impatient. I mean that in a good way as a movie critic; he's not a "model hero".

Kinda interesting where we're at with the two concurrent subplots. Luke is learning to be a Jedi from a charismatic little puppet, while Han, Leia, and the rest are just on the run trying to deal with their busted ship while being very closely pursued by huge Imperial Destroyers.

Boba Fett! Such a cool looking dude.

Cloud city. Pretty, and a welcome change. But, and maybe I'm being a snob here, I find myself longing a bit for blemish-free HD filling my screen.

The light play going on when Luke departs in his X-Wing and Yoda has his "no, there is another" exchange with Ghost-y-Wan, unique and vivid and I like it.

Shit be getting dark now. That scene where Chewy turns C3PO back on is creepy, then Han is getting straight tortured.

And now THIS, the carbon freeze scene! Spooked me but good as a kid. But the look of this chamber is great, and hey we get that awesome Han/Princess music back. "I love you" "I know". And now he's a block of ice. The slab thuds down and it's morbid.

We've returned to that chamber now with Luke facing Vader, and between their light sabers and the blue-red contrast of the lighting in there, it's nice to look at.

1:48:10 - Leia and Lando got away but Luke is still there, just kind of stuck fighting without any purpose. Except of course to lose his hand (dark!) and find out who his daddy is (Darth!).

Do you think when they cast Mark Hamill in the first movie, they realized how valuable his prodigious frown-mouth-face-shape would be in this second movie?

Getting Luke off that weather vane or whatever and into the Falcon, they don't really show how that got done. Feels like some flimmaking sloppiness.

A final swelling arrangement of Han/Princess and it's over without much resolution. This whole movie is like a second act. It begins with problems starting up, and it ends with things just about as bad as they can get. That's the textbook definition of the second act of a screenplay. I think ending it that way could have left people feeling unsatisfied, but instead we're all like "ooh, this one is dark, no happy ending, I dig it."

(next: Return of the Jedi)

#empire strikes back

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animebw · 5 years

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LONG Reflection: Goblin Slayer

Hoo boy. So. The rational side of my brain just wants to put this show away now that I’ve finished it and forget all about it. Controversy aside, the fact remains that Goblin Slayer just isn’t that good of a show, and I feel it would be better consigned to the dustbin of internet history that given any serious thought. Anything else feels like tempting fate in the worst possible way. But sadly, my worse instincts have won out here. I have not been able to stop thinking about Goblin Slayer ever since I started binge-watching it near the end of the Fall 2018 season, and the conclusions I’ve reached on how it ended up exploding into the big deal it was and the outlook it actually presents are... well, they warrant discussion. More discussion than one of my usual short reflection reviews can do justice to. So in what I hope won’t become a trend anytime soon, I’m instead going to analyze Goblin Slayer in the form of a LONG reflection, meaning that by the time I’m done writing this post my wrists are going to beg me to end their suffering out of pity. At the very least, I’ll feel better having gotten these thoughts off my chest. And hopefully, I’ll end up having something worthwhile to say on the matter. Warning: Full spoilers in effect below the “keep reading” bar, as well as content warning for discussion of rape and sexual assault.

So, just to get this out of the way first, my score for Goblin Slayer would be a 4/10. Once you get past the godawful first episode it mellows out a bit and better finds its voice as a slightly grittier dungeon crawl experience with a pack of moderately interesting characters. It suffers from a boring production- even excluding the poor CG shots of Gobslay-san’s armor, the direction is flat and the animation pretty lifeless- but the writing does work in the quieter moments when we’re allowed to settle into the unease of Goblin Slayer’s unmoored place in the world, and there’s even some poignancy in his tale of overcoming trauma and coming to terms with his corner of life in a vast and uncaring universe. I just wish those moments were frequent enough to overcome the overall blandness and the screeching stupidity of its louder, more obnoxious stabs at edginess. But there’s something just underneath the surface of this show, something deeply uncomfortable that no amount of better polished production values or more frequent quieter moments could fix. And that brings me to the focus on this likely far-too-long “essay”: what I came to understand about the rape scene in the first episode that blew the internet’s collective stack when it first aired.

Because what I’ve realized is that the rape scene isn’t actually the problem with this show. It’s just a symptom of what’s really gone wrong. So let’s see if we can reverse-engineer from that scene to figure out how we got to that point in the first place.

The first question we need to ask was, why was this scene hated? Anime has had plenty of tasteless assault subplots, even in this same year (Magical Girl Site comes to mind), so what made this particular scene blow up the way it did? Why does it suck? Well, a lot of reasons; the characters aren’t well established enough for us to care when shit goes south for them in the goblin den, it feels gratuitous and overblown thanks to the Epic Rape Orchestra backing it, and the framing is ickily voyeuristic (seriously, I have literally seen some of those shot compositions in actual rape hentai). But I think the real reason it ended up rubbing so many people the wrong way was that it was a rape scene where the victim didn’t matter.

Consider: the fighter who gets assaulted has maybe five lines of dialogue prior, none of which give us any real sense of who she is as a person, then she gets raped, and afterwards, she has barely thirty more seconds of screen time (and no more dialogue) before she’s shuffled off the show for good to waste away in a convent for all time. It treats her as disposable, somebody who doesn’t really matter. She’s a prop, somebody to be broken and tossed aside once her purpose as a one-use tragedy-generator is spent. The scene is all about establishing how evil and monstrous the goblins are so we root for them to get smashed; the fighter barely even factors into that equation at all. It’s a rape scene that’s all about the rapists and doesn’t seem to care at all about the person they victimize. It didn’t care about the fighter’s trauma, or how this event affected her, or what her reaction to it was at all. Her pain didn’t matter. Which, you know, aside from just being generally gross, is also bad writing. If the point is to make us hate the goblins, why would you do so little to make us care about the people they hurt?

And were this isolated to just that one scene, that would be the entire conversation. Just a shitty scene executed poorly. Curtain, case closed, move on. But something occurred to me as I kept watching the show: it wasn’t just the fighter who the show didn’t seem to want to address the trauma of. It was the priestess too. I mean, she also goes through hell in that first episode, seeing her new companions brutalized right in front of her eyes. And she ends the expedition understandably crushed and sobbing, completely unsure how to proceed from here. But the next time we see her in the next episode? It’s a month later, and she’s already gotten over it and is making cute anime girl exasperation noises about just how gosh darn silly Goblin Slayer is. Again: a character is put through hell and back, and the show shies away from confronting it.

And likewise, all the other brutalized woman we come across in the goblin’s lairs (and pinned to their shields during the big army battle in episode 11) barely ever say so much as a syllable before they’re shuffled off to presumed, offscreen safety. At the very least, the elf has a moment in episode 9 after almost being raped where she’s visibly shaking at the thought of confronting goblins again so soon, but that’s pretty much it. For a show that sells itself on taking place in a world where bad things happen to people, Goblin Slayer doesn’t seem to want to explore how these bad things affect the people they hurt.

With one big exception: Goblin Slayer himself. Like I mentioned earlier, the story of his trauma and how he copes with it lies at the center of the show’s narrative, and it’s easily the best part. There’s a warmth and understanding to his pain that doesn’t sugarcoat what he’s been through while still showing how he’s learned to live with it and continues to figure out how to process it. His sister gets raped and killed in flashback without so much as a how do you do, but Gobslay-san is constantly allowed the opportunity to explore his pathology and how the events of his past affect him.

So it’s clear the show does want to explore the trauma that living in this dangerous world can inflict. But why only him? Why do none of the girls- the people who, it should be noted, are by far at the most risk of being brutalized by goblins in the first place and thus would realistically have the most intense, visceral reactions of the horrors they perpetuate- have the chance to explore their trauma in the same way? It feels like an obvious storytelling decision, right? Why only tell a rape story about the victim’s friend and not the victims themselves? So that begs the question: if the show doesn’t want us to think about these girls in terms of how they interact with the darkness of this world, then how DOES it want us to think about them?

Well, I do have an answer for that. And unfortunately, it’s not a good one. Because thinking about the way all the show’s female characters are introduced, a very noticeable pattern emerges. The Cow Girl’s first appearance on screen is a big fanservice panning shot of her naked back followed by a massive boob jiggle. The slow-talking witch character likewise spends the vast majority of her introductory scene with the camera focused on her gargantuan tits and thighs. One of the first things that happens to the elf on screen is the dwarf mocking her for being flat-chested while the camera focused on said chest, just in case there’s anyone in the audience who needed to be reminded of this fetish that they might like. The first thing the priestess says is “I’m fifteen and therefore an adult, so it’s totally okay to lewd me because I am adult. And fifteen. Did I mention I’m fifteen?” Okay, slight exaggeration on my part, but don’t try to pretend that wasn’t the not-so-hidden intent behind that particular bit of worldbuilding.

In other words, all of the girls are introduced in a way that primes you to think about them sexually. First impression leave lasting impacts, and the first impressions for pretty much every female character in the show influence you to think about their waifu qualities before anything else. And all of them, including the only one who isn’t introduced tits-first (the guild lady), are implied at some point later on to be in love with self-insert protag Gobslay-san. So we have a situation where the person adjacent to rape is allowed to have a fleshed out arc about trauma and recovery, but the people who are actually at risk of being raped are instead made to be fanservice vehicles. Their trauma doesn’t matter to the show; their tits do.

That said, there is one big sticking point to this analysis, one female character who’s arc does, in fact, center around her trauma after being assaulted by goblins: the Sword Maiden. The scars they left on her, both literal and figurative, have yet to fade, and she admits to still feeling intense fear of what might happen if they find her again. So much so, in fact, that she helps raise goblins underneath her city just to make her people understand firsthand the fear she’s suffering (I think? It wasn’t explained that clearly in the show, so someone correct me if I’m wrong), and- and this is the real important part- she implicitly wants Goblin Slayer to literally fuck the trauma out of her. And honestly, I don’t think that’s a bad route to take in isolation. I can buy the emotional state of wanting someone you trust to overwrite a traumatic experience for you, and I even see the logic in having a professed goblin-hater be the person to purge the evil thing the goblins did to you. There’s potential there for a pretty interesting take on the subject.

But in context and execution, a lot of things go wrong that end up putting the final nail in the coffin of just what philosophy is driving this show. There’s the obvious problem of Sword Maiden also being a heavy fanservice character, her erect nipples literally pressing against her tunic. More substantially, though, is how her trauma is framed. We first learn about her being hurt by goblins in a fanservice-heavy bath scene with Priestess, in which her scars are juxtaposed against shiny naked moe flesh. And when she confirms what happened to her with Goblin Slayer following his “resurrection”, the camera again puts heavy focus on her breasts as she’s describing the horrors done to her. Both times, the Sword Maiden’s trauma is associated with eroticism. It associates her rape in the viewer’s mind with how sexy she is. The text says “this is horrible”; the camera says, “yeah, but don’t you want to fuck her anyway?” Once again, looking at the girls sexually takes precedence over actually exploring their emotional states.

And SPEAKING of that resurrection, sweet tap-dancing Christ is there a lot to unpack there. Gobslay-san wakes up basically naked in bed next to an equally naked fifteen-year-old girl (sorry, fifteen-year-old “adult”), who naturally gets a full fanservice panning shot of her nudity. They couldn’t look more like a couple who just had sex if that was what actually happened. And this is how the world was written: sleeping in the same bed as a virgin saves you from near death, apparently. Really think about that for a second: Goblin Slayer just saved Priestess from getting sexually violated by goblins at the near cost of his life, and she repays him by symbolically giving up her sexuality to him in everything but technicality. That’s... really kind of fucked, isn’t it?

And this is the same scene where Sword Maiden comes in to try and seduce him with the sexiness of her debilitating trauma. In other words, we find ourselves in a situation where sex is both the reward for saving a girl from rape and the cure for healing a girl from rape. No matter what happens to the girls in this world, the implied end result is that they will all happily sleep with the view self-insert protagonist.

So now, take a step back and consider where we find ourselves. Goblin Slayer takes place in a world where sexual trauma is a thing, but only for the guys who see rape happen. Where the girls who are actually at risk of rape or outright victims of it don’t get the chance to have that trauma explored in the same way. Where they instead are set up to be objects for the audience to drool over much like goblins ourselves. Where pretty much every girl is implied to want sex with the valiant man coming to save them from being raped, either as reward or cure. This is the world the show presents. So what does that tell us? What was Goblin Slayer trying to accomplish with all this?

Well, in short, what all this reveals is that Goblin Slayer is, quite simply, a power fantasy. In fact, it’s one of the oldest power fantasies of global popular culture: the fantasy of the big strong man who protects women’s purity for himself from the evil, inhuman monsters trying to steal it from its rightful owner.

Yes, in the end, the most remarkable thing about the uncomfortable rot at the core of this story is just how unremarkable it turned out to be. From classic monster movies in the US like King Kong and The Creature From the Black Lagoon to classic tales of captured damsels in need of rescue, the pungent well Goblin Slayer draws from is a well of familiar tropes across storytelling traditions that have since fallen out of favor in a less chauvinistic world. It’s the reason the women’s trauma doesn’t seem to matter: because the only thing that matters is that us guys are there to save them and get rewarded for it. It’s the reason we’re pressed to look at them sexually instead and why they’re implied to want sex themselves: because that’s what we’re protecting for our consumption. It’s also why the goblins are irredeemably evil creatures who we can feel justified in seeing slaughtered without mercy: it gives us a perfect villain to defeat that makes us, no matter how pathetic and miserable we are in real life, seem heroic by comparison, and thus fully justified in helping ourselves to that sweet, sweet virgin purity. Because we’re not the bad guys! We kill the bad guys! So we don’t have to feel bad about wanting this as a reward! It’s totally justified!

I realize I’m being remarkably crass and explicit, perhaps uncomfortably so. But I want to drive home just how skeevy this all is. Underlying every decision Goblin Slayer makes in regards to its portrayal of rape is the desire to prop up this fantasy. This fantasy where us straight guys can feel justified looking at girls sexually and wanting to fuck them even as they’re being brutalized in the worst way possible, because hey, at least we’re saving them, right? This is not a new discovery. Goblin Slayer is only the latest example of a storytelling template steeped in well-worn, toxic value systems that’s been around for centuries now. I repeat: the rape scene is not the problem. It’s only the most obvious example of the problem. And no amount surface-level fixes to the animation or plot structure could wash that stain away.

That, above all else, was why the rape scene ended up kicking up such a fuss. Because even if the audience couldn’t put their finger on it, they could sense those deeply uncomfortable undertones- the lack of caring about the victims of assault, the sexual framing making us want to imagine fucking girls while they’re being violated- that would only become more clear as the show progressed. It’s also, unfortunately, why the show ended up being a beacon for so many assholes who picked up on the same subtext; I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Goblin Slayer’s defenders seem to have an inordinate amount of actual goddamn Nazis mixed in with them. No, that doesn’t mean everyone (or even most people) who likes Goblin Slayer is a Nazi or a bad person or anything like that. But when I see so many of this show’s loudest defenders attacking its critics with rape threats, death threats and Holocaust memes, I think it’s entirely fair to consider what the show might be doing to attract that kind of audience.

Art does not exist in a vacuum. It is influence by and in turn influences the culture that consumes it. No one piece of art can change your beliefs, but trends over time can influence their audience. What art communicates matters. What art tells its audience, intentionally or not, is worth discussing. And if there’s anything I want you to take away from this absurdly foolhardy exercise of mine (seriously, my wrists are quite close to dying right now), it’s that these kinds of questions deserve to be discussed, even if you don’t want to discuss them yourself. If you like Goblin Slayer, like Goblin Slayer; your taste in art does not reflect your moral character, and anyone who tries to make you feel shitty for liking what you like is an asshole. But don’t be afraid of people like me who see these issues in Goblin Slayer and similar pieces of entertainment and want to talk about them (I’m quite interested to see how the discourse around Shield Hero shakes out this coming season). We’re not here to take your anime away from you: we just want to see it get better. And if nothing else, I hope you came away from my ramblings with a bit more insight into the many ways we can look at anime.

#anime #the anime binge-watcher #tabw #goblin slayer #fall 2018 sr #fall 2018 anime

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kylydian · 6 years

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Impressionism in Breath of the Wild

2017 was a year FULL of incredible soundtracks. The amount of experimentation that occurred in game music this year was off the charts. Believe me, we’re going to be touching on all of these games eventually as there’s simply too much good information to pass up. The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild is probably my soundtrack of last year, and truthfully, it’s why I decided to start this musical journey. Breath of the Wild does an insane amount of good for the video game world, but how does it do it? And what inspiration does it draw from to do this? Let’s talk about Impressionism to find out.

Let’s get a timeframe of this concept first. Impressionism falls at a unique place in music history, and can be viewed from a few different perspectives on the timeline. Many subscribe to the idea that it falls as an extension of the Romantic Era (Beethoven, Chopin, Mahler, Wagner etc) and took harmonic extremities of the time to a new level by doing (somewhat) away with common music theory practice in western music. Others view it as a kind of bridging the gap between modernism and classical music innovation of the 1900s. But it could also be viewed as the start of modernist movement, as the Impressionists were trying to break away from the shackles of the common man’s music. I like to think of it in this last way, even though the true answer is that it’s probably a combination. Regardless, there’s only two Impressionists in music history that we talk about: Ravel and Debussy. Going even further, I’d even say that Ravel blurred the line between Romantic and Impressionist.

Again, I want to state that Impressionists were trying to break the shackles of music history.

So, what is impressionism? The quickest explanation is that it’s painting pictures with music. Say that you want to paint a picture of a morning sunrise, what would it look like? Well, it would look like a morning sunrise. You’d be able to see it physically and say “Man, that’s a nice morning.”

This is what impressionists did with music. They would write music that would describe locations, people, or ideas through music alone. Using melody, harmony, rhythm and motifs they wrote music that was meant to describe something. By saying this, it makes it sound like all video game music is impressionistic, but it’s important to note that’s not accurate. Impressionism is more concerned with how the piece feels evocatively, rather than focusing on traditional music techniques. There’s a very particular feel that impressionism seeks at all times. It’s better to think of impressionist music asking ’Musically how does this feel?” rather than asking “How does this sound?”

So again, you’re probably a bit confused. Video game music exists to accompany gameplay, so of course you’re going to write music to the feeling of scenes, characters, locations etc. I would think of the separation in this context as impressionism describing experiences, while traditional video game music heightens experiences. Music in video games is meant primarily to heighten the experience for the player.

So. Zelda.

Zelda has a huge musical history of heightening player emotions through music. My god they have a practically non-stop touring orchestra that only plays Zelda music. The only other series I know that has this is Final Fantasy. Zelda music has been written to accompany every aspect of gameplay and story, and people will fight tooth and nail on what their favorite track, OST, or musical cue is from the game. From the huge sweeping orchestral scores, the beautiful melodies, and the implications behind them, it’s hard to argue against Zelda having some of the best video game music. I can talk about any Zelda soundtrack and tell you why it works from a traditional music standpoint, but in the end the answer just boils down to a few things.

· Memorable themes.

· Emotional connection to gameplay

· It’s simply good music.

So, what does Breath of the Wild do? It gets rid of a lot of themes, has silence for a lot of the soundtrack, and is considered by many to not be good music.

Damn.

So. Impressionism in Zelda.

Breath of the Wild reworked EVERYTHING about the Zelda series. You’re given all of your tools in the beginning, you’re told to go kill Ganon instantly if you’d like, or you’re told to go in a direction. But you don’t have to follow this. You have an enormous landscape to explore that sprawls forever. Gone is the world music, gone is the character music, gone is the Ocarina or other instruments. It’s just you and the wild. Visually, no longer do you see a mountain off in the distance and ignore it as background information. Instead you might think “Oh. I can go there if I want.” So, you go there in silence. You start climbing the mountain, encounter snow that quickly turns into a winter veil. And suddenly you realize that music has been playing for who knows how long. The music is far in the background, almost as far back as the mountain was when you first noticed it. There’s no singable melody, but it wouldn’t be called pure ambient music either. This music isn’t accompanying what you’re doing, where you are or who you’re with. It doesn’t do any of that. Rather, if the mountain had naturally occurring music, what would that music be?

It would be the music of a mountain.

This is Impressionism in The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. It’s music that you can’t sing, music that you might not notice, but music that describes your experience.

Impressionism describes, themes heighten.

This is the exact experience I had when the soundtrack really clicked for me. It’s music that entirely describes the Breath of the Wild experience. On a mountain, what would you hear in nature? Probably wind, snowstorms, footsteps, and animals among other things. As I mentioned in a previous post, sound can have musical qualities, but isn’t in and of itself music. Music can be written through sound design, but these occurring sounds wouldn’t be music. How would these sounds be translated into traditional music? I think the answer is through Impressionism. The music at this point in the game was answering the question “What would the naturally occurring music on this mountain be?” And much of the soundtrack is structured around these ideas! There are more traditional tracks in the game, but most of the environmental music is this way.

However, environmental music isn’t the only type of music that employs these techniques. A couple of the battle themes use similar ideas too. Take for instance the Guardian music. It starts off with a very skittish piano solo, and then brings in some more instruments at seemingly random intervals. It occasionally has a full sound, and features many syncopated rhythms. This is definitely battle music, but it doesn’t really feel like it accompanies battle. I’ve heard many people describe this music as frightening, and I think that’s very accurate! Guardians are something that you don’t really know a lot about, and even late in the game they can kill you extremely easily. Every time you encounter one of the large, quick ones, this frantic piano leads us into battle. And the piano sounds scared, mirroring what you’re probably feeling and doing as you try to distance yourself from the guardian to form a plan of attack. And throughout the track, it maintains a sense of fear, but the repeating piano starts to seem a bit braver as well and have staying power. The music appears to get more comfortable as you make it longer in a fight. Which is really neat, because the longer you make it against a guardian, the better you know how to fight them and the higher your chance of victory, meaning that even though the fear of death is still there, you know you’re capable at that point. The music reflects on this feeling. There’s some other stuff that happens in this music, but we’ll talk about that at a later date.

The music is battle music, but in no way is it traditional.

The harmonies and melodies used by impressionists were very unique too, and in listening to the music, the compositions reflect this. There’s long pauses between notes, harmonies move in parallel fifths or fourths at times, or there might only be a few notes. Scales used are often non-traditional and often have no resolution.

The Impressionism in Breath of the Wild has a strong impact on the overall game score. There are definitely other examples of impressionism in game music, but I think this is one of the best. I truly believe that a score like in the Zeldas of old simply wouldn’t work in this case. Location specific music wouldn’t make sense in most places, and an abundance of character themes would clutter the score. Even themes that represent feelings or emotions such as The Song of Healing, The Song of Time and The Song of Storms are absent. A few of these unique mainstay themes are used at different moments in the score, but overall they’re replaced with short ideas or musical cues to represent the same feeling.

I believe that Impressionism has a huge, and mostly unexplored place in the video game music world. Impressionist ideas shouldn’t be placed into every soundtrack, because the ideas won’t always fit. But in making games that feature exploration, or games that have a lot of ambiguity, I think Impressionism is an excellent technique to provide a bit more wonder and uncertainty to the world.

This might have been a lot of confusing information, especially for non-musicians, so here’s a short breakdown.

For Developers

· Game music often heightens the experience for the player, Impressionist game music describes player experience.

· Impressionism is a powerful form of music used to evoke emotions, ideas or pictures through sound.

· Impressionist music can be used for both specific and non-specific location music, but I find it to be most effective for non-specific locations.

· Impressionism is best served alongside a world that allows the music to accompany the world, and the world to accompany the music.

For Composers

· As with any genre of music, the best way to understand is to listen.

· Look for locations in the game and score that can describe rather than accompany.

· Impressionistic cues can be especially powerful, and often shouldn’t sound out of place next to a more standard soundtrack.

· Experiment with scales and harmonies outside of the common practice period.

It’s important for both developers and composers to remember that if the music sounds right, it probably is right. It’s hard to break molds of what we’ve already established, and that’s why we’re encountering a lot of backlash from much of the Zelda fanbase. What these people don’t understand is that if we had a score similar to Twilight Princess, Breath of the Wild wouldn’t make sense. The gameplay, story, graphics and world design of Breath of the Wild are all very Impressionistic as well, so it only makes sense to have a soundtrack that partially follows in the steps of Debussy.

This isn’t to say that Impressionism is the only style used in Breath of the Wild. We’ll be revisiting this game very frequently to explore other musical styles, and we might even do some analysis of the music at some point to find out specifics of what makes the music great.

#Nintendo #The Legend of Zelda #The Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild #Breath of the Wild #Video Games #Video Game Music #Indie Music #Impressionism #Indie Game #Game Developer #Video Game Composer #Composer #Kylydian

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laceweddingdresseswithsleeves · 5 years

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ruthandliamgoplaces · 5 years

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Is this a wilderness adventure or not?!

Since leaving our workaway host in Switzerland, we’ve cycled across the French Alps into Italy. A question we’ve been reflecting on a lot apres-cycle, is whether or not our tour can be considered truly adventurous as we are cycling across the more developed parts of Europe. Many other cycle tourists move quickly through Europe to get to the “adventurous” countries like Uzbekistan, Kazakhstan, Russia, China, India or even Slovenia, Hungary, Turkey. So, can what we are doing really be counted up there with that sort of adventure!?? What defines an adventure?

It certainly feels like a wilderness adventure to us! Whilst being surrounded by luxurious ski chalets, mostly well paved roads, and being never too far away from a hotel, restaurant or bar, we have existed for the last two weeks in a self imposed wilderness, our minds, goals and wallets being the only true barrier to accessing all the comforts the world could possibly have to offer. It’s an interesting situation to place yourself in; we theoretically could sleep in a campsite, or even hotel, and we could eat at restaurants, but instead we choose to bivvy every single night and cook all our own meals. Even if we had enough money to have luxury every day (which we don’t, most people spend more than we have on a weeks holiday!), we would still choose to travel in this way, because this is where the adventure happens for us. Surviving in the wilderness, even if that wilderness exists only through the parameters we have chosen to live by.

We also certainly could have avoided cycling through the Alps themselves, sticking to well trodden (mostly) trusty Eurovelo routes which carve cycle friendly routes through countries avoiding unforgiving gradients. There was definitely no need for us two choose to cycle two Tour de France Mountain passes, including one which has been used four times for the ‘King of the Mountain’ part of the competition and includes 9% gradients that are utterly brutal for our heavy touring bikes.

We could also have travelled lighter, like the four other cycle tourers we have seen in these enormous mountains. There really (we are discovering) was no need to bring a slackline, a laptop, two 38 litre rucksacks, walking boots and loads of different clothes for doing workaways! The frame creaking weight of our bikes multiplies the difficulty, and adventurousness, of ascending 2087m mountain passes.

Our musings have led us also to recognise the ways in which the adventurousness of our cycle trip is more limited! Whilst braving the elements on a rainy evening, we *know* we could just book into a hotel. Whilst fearing dehydration in the baking sun, we realise we could just stick out a thumb and ask for help from a passing car. But we don’t. However, it provides a buffer of comfort knowing that we could immediately escape our situation from the simple act of sticking out our thumbs, or waving down a passer by, or reaching for a credit card... or phoning our parents. And yet... even in less developed countries the same is true! Sometimes more luxury is possible outside Europe as it is more affordable. Credit cards, or cash, work everywhere to bail you out. To some extent.

My thoughts are that whether our trip can be counted as adventurous or not, will remain an unresolved and interesting debate. Adventure is relative, and deeply personal. I will let the reader decide!

The “adventure”

We left our amazing Swiss workaway hosts, who dropped us just outside of Lausanne in the midst of another 35 degree heatwave. After three weeks off the bikes, including one week at a festival drinking way more than we should have, we did not feel at our fittest. Oh, and Liam had a horrible cold. Our mission: cycle across the Alps to Italy, via a stop in Morillon to meet some workaway hosts for a potential job opportunity. Climb two Tour de France passes and wild camp the whole way.

The first days cycling was extremely hot, but despite setting off at 2pm, we managed about 50km as it was mostly flat. High point was having a lovely swim in Lake Geneva just past Lausanne. We found a quiet place over a stone wall so I felt comfy to swim wearing my amazing pants bought in Nepal. Unfortunately they are flesh coloured and completely see-through. Doubly unfortunate then that we were joined by a couple of guys smoking an afternoon spliff, an older couple having a swim and a young guy sunbathing. Oh well, I lost my dignity where nudity was concerned somewhere back in week one.

Low point was having to push our bikes through a seemingly never ending snake of street stalls set up for an enormous festival. Battling a tsunami of pedestrians not looking at all where they were going is not fun with a fully loaded bike.

That evening we found ourselves accidentally back on the Via Rhôna cycle track Eurovelo 17, the track we had followed for 500km to Geneva! We found a seemingly amazing camp spot tucked beneath the cycle track next to the river. All was going so well until the plague of mosquitos began. We were hit by hundreds of the things and bailed to set up a mosquito net and peg it down. Hot dinner plans cancelled, we sat gloomily in the mosquito net eating peanuts and cold chorizo, and watched the sun go down. We were treated to spectacular stars that evening, and we got by with minimal bites, even if our bellies were left wanting for more.

This was the first of nine bivvies - all perfectly adequate. Our worst one was the next night, sleeping in a lay by half way up Col de Forclaz. Liam was feeling really poorly and after ascending nearly 850m in a day with our dwindled level of fitness, we were both worn out. I had not so cleverly (as it turned out) treated us to some pricey marinated meat to cook, but unfortunately Liam in his exhausted delirious state couldn’t get the stove to work consistently with a new fuel we were foolishly experimenting with. In the dark, we couldn’t tell whether the meat disguised by sauce was cooked or not. I sat there, alone with a man down, in a dark layby 800m up a mountain, holding a bag of expensive, query cooked, Swiss meat in a zip locked bag, ready to throw in a bin lest it attract unwanted animal visitations in the night, ravenously hungry and seriously questioning my life choices. The tale has a happy ending. Motivated by both hunger and the repulsion boiling within at throwing away perfectly good and expensive meat, I managed to work with Liam to get the stove to work for just long enough to cook the meat to a crisp. Cremated- definitely. Going to give us food poisoning? Absolutely no chance. Winning.

The next day, after a restless night peppered with passing high beams of cars racing up the mountain, we slogged over two Cols at 1500 and 1400 metres, in a blistering heatwave. At the top of the first one, I pretty much climbed into the drinking water fountain to cool down! It took us an eternity to cycle up, pausing every 25-50m of ascent to dive into any shade, lay-by or non switch back we could find, catch our breath, rest our jelly legs and attempt to cool down. I prevented Liam from pushing the last 12metres of ascent, sniffing through his cold, and we got there and could claim some sort of victory. We had laid siege to the mountain. We had got there. After an expensive Swiss ice cream and beer to celebrate (both the ascent and leaving pricey Switzerland), we used our last Swiss Francs and cycled down to Chamomix to bivvy at the foot of Mont Blanc (highest mountain in Europe) in a spot recommended to us by a warm showers host that I had messaged to ask for advice about where to sleep for free in the bustling and pricey ski resort. Along the way, we whizzed through Argentiere, stopping to fill our panniers full of delicious French supermarket wares, to the sound of an outdoor Orchestra playing part of a Star Wars score!

As we pulled into the recommended wooded area on the outskirts of Chamonix, we passed loads of vans parked up for the night, and saw a woman doing yoga underneath a tall canopy of gorgeous pines twinkling in the evening sun. We tiptoed past her as quietly as we could manage with the unruly bikes, and later, after she finished her practice, she joined us for an hour to share her incredible story of cycling around the world with her two year old son! Now working as a mountain guide in Chamonix, she left us rich with some useful tips about local hikes, her phone number in case of any problems, and an invitation to stay in her flat down the road over the weekend as she was away!

The following day we left Chamonix and cycled through the valley drinking up the glacial scenery before sleeping next to a beautiful fishing lake, hidden from the public and the rain (but not the ducks) by yet more beautiful pine trees. We were kept awake some of the night by an incredible thunder and lightening storm projected over the snow capped mountains, and winds that kept changing direction blowing excitedly through our tarp.

By now, it was my turn to be poorly. Dosed up on cold and flu medication, we had another hard day slogging up hill again to Morillon, a skiing resort, to meet a workaway host and take some rest in their chalet. The heat wave was markedly over, replaced by unceasing torrential rain only the product of towering mountains. Our unfit and abused legs groaned and complained as we cycled on, and on, devouring an entire rotisserie chicken with mayonnaise on the roadside, navigating endless switchbacks and drinking litres of water. As we approached the chalet, we got lost in the middle of an exceptional part of deluge when google tried to direct us to cycle up a gravel walking track with a no entry sign on an impossible gradient. No thanks Google! Instead, we had to push our bikes briefly up a road with an impossible gradient. We became a spectator sport for people having a spot of luncheon on their covered chalet balconies.

At one point, white fork lightening struck the road very close in front of us, causing us to flee to shelter desperately under someone’s car port. Thunder boomed menacing around the valley crackling like artillery fire as we waited for the storm to roll over. The car port owners peered curiously out their window at us, and a very damp Liam and I mused at the unlikeliness of them venturing out to ask us what on earth we were doing cycling touring bikes up a massive hill in a dangerous storm. We barely knew ourselves.

Finally, we reached the chalet as the storm echoed in the distance, and soaking wet through we met Jean and John the workaway hosts. God knows what they thought of the two bedraggled red in the face creatures asking where they could store their life’s possessions in filthy panniers. Bless them for not complaining at us dripping mud and water in puddles through their lovely chalet. At least we knew how to use a mop!

We passed a restful couple of days recovering and waiting for the bad weather to pass before embarking on the epic journey to Italy.

The morning we set off for Italy was a glorious descent with beautiful weather- not too hot and not raining! We cycled down hill until we re-entered the foothills of the Alps and the gradients started gently changing. We wanted to find somewhere to sleep before doing any climbs, but everywhere was decorated with the friendly Private No Entry signs and electric fences typical in agricultural areas. Fortunately we found a walking track marked on google maps, and after pushing our bikes along a gravel track, managed to find a slice of quiet scrubland tucked innocuously behind a row of trees on the trail. Liam cooked up a feast as always, and we slept extremely well and remained dry under a tarp despite the evening rain.

The following days cycling to the base of Mont Cenis were a mixture of cycling up and down, but mostly up. We passed through some of the most beautiful scenery of the trip, through gorgeous Alpine villages and amazing panoramic views of valleys below. We swam in Lake Annecy, slept next to a river, cycled through gorges and over hills and through alpine meadows. We visited a market and tried some local goats cheese, being sure to choose the fresh stuff and not the mature variety! We both agreed it was the best scenery of the trip so far.

A low point was caused by road works. We were loving life, cruising along amazing quiet roads to our next destination, when suddenly it turned out that our road was blocked and we had to take a diversion. We ended up climbing a big ascent on a baking hot dual carriage way with very fast traffic zipping past us. Morale was sinking as there was no shade for refuge, and seemingly no places to sleep. However, that evening, we found a turn in the road that led to a slag heap, and a hydropower river section. The place was hidden from view from the main road, and whilst not being very attractive, it was actually a perfect place to spend the night. As I sat on the gravel facing a slag heap and a railway line, ants crawling all over me, to the sound of the motorway in the distance, I reflected that this was not what I came cycle touring for. However, it is the nature of cycle tour life- sometimes you have to take the horrible road to get to the good road. Some days you have to sleep in the lay by on the way to the beautiful spot.

On the day of Mont Cenis pass itself, we woke up only a tiny bit daunted about what awaited us. Yet another Tour de France Col, with sections of a gradient average of 9%. We’d cycled for 6 days in a row over some mountainous roads, and our legs were exhausted. As we crawled up the hill, painstakingly slow, 25m-50m sections at a time, there were times both of us didn’t think we would make it. However, as with most things with cycle tour life, you just have to do it! Pretty soon we were at the top, with incredible 360 degree panoramic mountain views all around us, and an exhilarating steep switch back descent to look forward to. We sat at the top with a beer and an ice cream, feeling thoroughly satisfied with ourselves, taking great amusement at watching people passing by stare in bewilderment at our bikes. Their faces said: how did those get up here?! Which nutters would cycle a loaded touring bike up Mont Cenis?!

That evening we passed into Italy and after one more painful ascent, we found a spot to sleep which makes you really appreciate cycle touring. It’s much easier to wild camp when you are hiking as you can wander into woods, get away from roads, and reach places far away from human activity! On the bikes, especially with cumbersome loaded bikes, we have to always stay near a road. Consequently, we don’t often get wilderness spots. So, the spot we ended up in was a real treat. On a very quiet road to a small village, we found a small turn around spot for cars, which led to a maze of mountain oak trees and rocky platforms with a spectacular view over Italy. It was warm, there were no mosquitos, barely any cars, no people and we really felt in the wilderness as we could push our bikes away from the road. That evening we sat out late, enjoying the sunset and the stars coming out, and felt we had really achieved something! We were in Italy, and over two mountain passes!

The only problems we had now were, we hadn’t bathed in several days, we had dirty clothes, no food and limited water. But they were tomorrow’s problems!

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theplateescape · 7 years

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L.A.

Los Angeles: City of fallen angels

After much too long dragging ourselves out of the quicksand of our modern lives, we touched down in the city of angels with no sleep and, by then, uncomfortable shoes. We at once found ourselves being spoken to like slow children by a large, surly black woman who had apparently seen fit to apply thick, white house paint as nail polish and eye shadow, as we negotiated passage through the broken down houses, and barred windows of Inglewood to our accom in Koreatown. After a brief glimpse of the famous Hollywood sign through the green/grey haze of the thick LA air, we arrived at our temporary home. Our driver of course, was not shy to ask me for a tip (we come from a non-tipping culture in Australia and New Zealand) an awkward exchange which consisted of him giving me change for the ride fare, and then me giving it straight back. We then stashed the bags, as we were much too early to check in and, with a much needed change into my trusty jandels/ thongs/ flip flops, set out into the 40 Celsius morning to kill some time.

Following a lot of cursing and sweating, we managed to get a tuna melt in the belly, and board one of the mobile looney bins they call buses, to the Downtown area for a quick reconnaissance mission. We stumbled into “The Last Bookstore”, and the “Grand Central Market” which was more of an immense extended food court, with great local beers, and a mind boggling array of local delicacies. With the jagged teeth of jet lag digging deeply into our ability to remain conscious, we just managed to get back to Koreatown before surrendering to sleep. Waking sticky, but refreshed, it was back to the Grand Central market for great local beers, tongue tacos and the spiciest raw prawns I’ve had since Bangkok. Marinated in lime juice and coriander and swimming in pure evil, this refreshing bowl of prawn aguachile was the perfect catalyst for a big night out.

First stop, “Varnish.” The worst kept secret bar in LA. With a great cocktail list and super authentic prohibition era speakeasy vibe, this gem is hidden behind a sandwich shop. You enter through a door that from a distance just looks like a wooden panel wall. A few cocktails down, the best mint julep I’ve ever had, and free shots from the vibrant and knowledgeable bar staff, we did what all self respecting traveling alcoholics should do, and asked the bar keep where they go to drink. Seems simple enough right? It’s like asking chefs where they go to eat. We’ve employed this technique many times in foreign lands and have yet to be disappointed. Next to “Bar Clacson” for a beer and to watch people play pétanque on their full sized indoor pitch until I notice a lot of people emerging from the back of the bar. Another hidden space is revealed as we head through to a dark, dingier space playing punk music at high volumes and finished with arcade games. Needles to say this is much more our scene and we hold up here until we can barely stand.

As we leave, we employ the old ‘ask the bar tender where to go’ trick one last time and end up in the middle of nowhere eating tostadas and tacos from a truck with a bunch of LA natives. These taco trucks are an institution here and people are pretty faithful to their favourites. I’ll admit on our way to the “Flamin Tacos” truck, it seemed like the mother of all bad ideas; heading into the unknown with no trusty internet service or cell phone coverage to get our drunk asses back home. But as soon as I tasted the “Cubano,” a two pound sandwich filled with every kind of dead animal you could think of I realised, I am home!

As a child I can vividly remember one of my friends going to Disneyland over the school break. I can also remember being intensely jealous and vowing to get myself there some day. Well folks some 25 years later this overgrown kid got his wish, and then some. We hit three theme parks in 4 days, a deceptively exhausting exercise. I’ll spare the details in favour of a brief overview of each as we experienced them.

Universal studios. This was our first one so we were naturally pretty excited despite getting in from our taco excursion at 2.30am. In short this place is like the Gold Coast’s “Movie World” on crack! Not so many actual roller coasters, but 3D motion master type rides are the go here. The highlight was definitely Harry Potter’s Wizarding World. All the lengthy queues for rides were well shaded with big misting fans everywhere, which were a godsend in the crippling heat. Longest wait time was 45 mins for the Harry Potter ride, but it was the best!

6 Flags, Magic Mountain. Our roller coaster lust was fully sated at this park. There so many that we couldn’t possibly ride them all in one day, though we did try. This one is a long way out of town and involved us having to hire a car and drive ourselves out there. We’d had another big night the day before. This coupled with learning to drive on the right side of the road made for a pretty exhilarating experience before we even got to the park. The highlight was probably the “Tatsu” in which you are strapped in then turned to face the ground, and hurtled head first through the most terrifying series of twists and turns ever dreamed up by some sick genius engineers. It was the first ride of the day and we foolishly thought we had picked a gentle ride to warm up with, not the most intense ride in the whole park! Parts of this park where a bit run down and shabby to be fair. Also in a week of bad theme park food, the styrofoam biscuit they were marketing as a burger here was the fucking pits. Longest wait time was an hour I think, and lines were unshaded and the park overall felt poorly thought out compared to the other two. The “Superman Escape” is worth an honourable mention as I have never screamed with such honest and complete terror as I did while being shot 35 meters in the air backwards at 100miles per hour.

Disneyland. We really did save the best for last. As soon as you set foot in the magical kingdom you can’t help but revert back to an awe stricken 10 year old kid. The obsessive attention to detail was impressive to say the least. Some of these rides are at least 40 years old now, but you’d never know. Everything was so beautifully maintained, you’d swear it was built yesterday. Beautiful design and flawless staff execution, (the other parks probably had more thrilling rides) overall immersion, professionalism, and a sense of true childhood wonder made this place on point. Highlight was the “Indiana Jones “ ride which also had the longest wait, not that that mattered as the queue lead you through an ancient temple complete with booby traps and ancient relics. Also “New Orleans Town” was fucken mint! Unfortunately the “Haunted Mansion “ and “Space Mountain” where both closed which kinda sucks but this place was still the happiest place on earth. They also had the best food with the “Dole Whip”, a pineapple soft serve that actually tasted like a real pineapple, and a Moa sized turkey leg that tasted like ham and left me greasy and defeated.

We did all the other LA staples, the Hollywood walk of fame, the Chinese theatre. We saw an orchestra performance of some of John Williams finest film scores at the Hollywood Bowl which was $20, BYO, and so epic it still brought a smile to this jaded old travellers face. I was delightfully and constantly surprised at how, despite the reputation for rudeness, the people of LA were so polite, kind, and helpful. The traffic gets a bum rap here too but to be honest, Auckland traffic is much, much worse (sort your shit out Auckland!), besides once you have mastered the “hook turn” on the mean streets of the Melbourne CBD, you can basically drive anywhere it seems (except Saigon, Saigon is fucked up!). We’re told that no trip to this town is complete without a trip to “In-n-Out Burger” and to be fair it was an experience. If you’ve never seen a drive through queue spill out onto the road, around the block and hold up traffic a road over, then you ain’t seen shit son! The burgers were good, but not that good. We went to “Five Guys” burger parlour a couple of days later which was far superior in every way, and we didn’t have to wait 45 mins for burgers and battle overweight, heavy breathing burger whores for a scrap of table space to actually eat. In a town built on hype and little substance I felt like In-n-Out’s popularity is symptomatic of an age when you can be famous for simply being famous. Sure the secret menu items are kind of a cool touch, but is a secret menu really that cool if everyone, their dog and the internet knows about it?

After cramming in as much as possible in our short time, in this very large city, we decided to hit “Little Tokyo” for drinks and nibbles. Starting with “Mumford Brewing “ we demolished their range of very delicious IPA’s before striding through what was hands down the biggest homeless tent city I have come across. The stark contrast between the “haves” and the “have-nots” in this town was never so brutally apparent as while watching my back we made our way to the next port, in this sea of misery and decrepitude. We’ve seen real poverty in places like Cambodia before, but it was a cold hard slap in the face to see this happening on such a large scale in the “Greatest Nation On Earth”; for shame America.

Our night then took us to “Wolf & Crane”, where the barkeep directed us to a great sushi bar down the road (always ask the bartenders where to go), where we gorged ourselves on very well priced raw delicacies prepared right in front of us, and sipped giant Sopporo’s and tried our best to order what we could in poorly spoken Japanese. Back to Wolf & Crane for more beers, whiskey tasting flights, and eventually being held captive by the head bartender who knocked off, sat down with us, and proceeded to get us completely shit faced until the wee hours, and refused to let us pay for anything.

Suffering the most brutal hangover, in a week of foggy starts, we pulled our shit together, cleaned up the now unrecognisable food mess we had presumably purchased before retiring only a few hours before, and prepared to leave Los Angeles. We rented a car, packed up all our shit and hit the road for the California coast. The fresh sea breeze and coastal hillsides did much to mend the self inflicted mental wounds we sustained in the concrete jungle. Mile after mile of pristine coast line gobbled up by big business and wanky resorts the size of small towns, made me long for untouched New Zealand just a little, as we made our way down to the border to cross into Mexico.

Los Angeles, city of angels, home of the dodgers and of course Mickey Mouse. Where the air is thick, the water dehydrates you, and the sun is always shining. Looking back however, the angels are dodgy at best, with soiled, scabbed wings, and yellowed nubs for teeth that chatter incessantly to drug induced apparitions, while constantly scratching at the imaginary worms crawling under their skin. I’m no stranger to colourful characters coming from one of the rougher parts of Auckland, and now living in a once notoriously sketchy area of Melbourne, but as we catch the bus to downtown LA to rustle up something to eat, it strikes me that there are an extraordinary amount of damaged individuals roaming the streets in the broad, unforgiving daylight. It takes more than the far off gaze of a few broken souls to deter my appetite, but as I stare into the vast void pooling behind those dead eyes, I have to ask myself, “who is to blame for all this misery?” And then it clicks, who else could it be? The only logical conclusion is as obvious as the track marks on the arms of its victims, we must of course blame the mouse! That’s not to say that I believe a 5 foot rodent wearing gloves and pants is responsible for all the hurt on the streets here, rather it is an effective symbol for the dream, or rather, lies that lead so many hopefuls to over extend and wind up facedown in the gutter. We are all told that if we work hard we can do anything. But this is not necessarily the truth. Do you really think a man (or women) wakes up one day with the burning desire to clear away other people’s trash. Most of us have to play with the hands we were dealt. But that’s a necessary evil in our world. Simply put, if we all got what we wanted out of life by following our dreams our filth would ultimately pile up in the streets and choke society to death. Some ones gotta pick up the trash. Hollywood makes its living packaging up the lie, the dream, and selling it off piece by piece for the price of an admission ticket. So like moths flying too close to the light bulb, the hopefuls come to ‘make it’ in tinsel town, but instead crash and burn, and wind up chatting to themselves on the 720 to downtown. Possibly also the apparent lack of an effective welfare and public mental health systems could be a large contributing factor, but it’s not as fun as taking a swipe at everyone’s favourite bipedal magic vermin.

#travel travelwriting travelblog travelblogger food foodporn foodwriting la losangeles traveller america disneyland universal

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hajime-isayama-official · 7 years

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Get To Know Me Rules: Tag blogs you want to get know better.

I have been tagged by @teatimewithamz (thanks and I love you!)

Okay this is like super fucking long so after this you’ll know literally everything about me wth?!

Nickname: Hajimama Zodiac Sign: Pisces Height: 165 cm Last thing You Googled: FGM Favorite Music Artist: Placebo, Sum 41 Song Stuck In Your Head: The Coca Cola Advertisement song Last Movie You Watched: Uhhhhmmmmm idk uhm... I watched an outlast 2 let’s play does that count? What Are You Wearing Right Now: A grey sweatshirt and black chill pants Why Did You Choose Your URL: Because shitposting is funnier with an important URL Do You Have Any Other Blogs: Ahaha you kids wanna know huh? What Did Your Last Relationship Teach You: That talking is important Religious or Spiritual: Not really religious, but definitely interested and open for religion, kinda spiritual Favorite Color: Orange, Pink and Blue Average Hours of Sleep: Eight to Twelve Lucky Number: I hate numbers, bye Favorite Character: Wiccan and Speed How Many Blankets Do You Sleep With: Two, because it’s still cold af and Assistant hogs the winter blanket Dream Job: At a helpdesk for queer youth

Five Things You’ll Find In My Bag 1. Bandaids 2. Tampons / Cups 3. Time planer 4. Tissues 5. Deodorant (As you can see I’m a practical person haha)

Five Things In My Bedroom: 1. The bed (that assistant still claims is his, although we paid it together) 2. My desk, which is constantly a mess 3. My Laptop (which is always in sleep mode but never off?!) 4. A shitton of posters (of Wiccan and random shit) 5. A blackboard with Assistant’s and my goals for the year

Five Things I’ve Always Wanted To Do In My Life: 1. Fight for Queer rights 2. Get more tattoos 3. Have a child 4. Have a hammock 5. Go to a pride parade in NY

Five Things That Make Me Happy: 1. Attention/ Cuddles 2. Assistant 3. People being nice to each other 4. Discussions that broaden my horizon 5. When I feel really comfortable in an outfit

Five Things On My To-Do List: 1. Prepare a presentation on Max Weber 2. Inform myself on cultural sociology 3. Appreciate assistant 4. Answer some asks 5. Read some shit

Five Things People May Not Know About Me: 1. I’m 24 2. I don’t like the feeling of fruits in my mouth 3. I have huge problems getting into touch with people 4. I constantly feel like other people are smarter than me, even though I know I’m a smart bean, but I often have trouble articulating what I think and take it pretty personal when people have a different interpretation on a word than I have 5. I fucking love cuddles!

Name?: Hajimama Sexual Orientation?: Pansexual/Biromantic/Polyamorous Ethnicity?: Mayonaise Favorite Fruit?: I don’t like fruits in general Favorite Season?: Spring Favorite Flower?: I have no clue about flowers, but I like poppy Favorite Scent?: The smell of construction site (I have no idea why) Favorite Animal?: Jellyfish Coffee, Tea, or Hot Chocolate?: Tea Cat or dog?: I wouldn’t wanna have either but I’d prefer a dog Dream Trip?: Canada Number of Followers?: 12.650 What do I post about?: Memes and bullshit about the SNK characters yo Do I get asks on a regular basis?: I’m drowning in them and I love it! Aesthetic?: Space Fictional Character I’d Date?: Armin tbh? I feel like he’d appreciate me? Hogwart House: Ravenclaw

Rules: BOLD the statements that are true for you!

APPEARANCE: I am 5'7" or taller I wear glasses I have at least one tattoo I have at least one piercing I have blonde hair I have brown eyes I have short hair My abs are at least somewhat defined I have or have had braces

PERSONALITY: I love meeting new people People tell me that I’m funny Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me I enjoy physical challenges I enjoy mental challenges I’m playfully rude with people I know well I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY: I can sing well I can play an instrument I can do over 30 pushups without stopping I’m a fast runner I can draw well I have a good memory I’m good at doing math in my head I can hold my breath underwater for under a minute I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch I know how to throw a proper punch (AKA I am useless lol)

HOBBIES: I enjoy playing sports I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else I have learned a new song in the past week I work out at least once a week I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months I have drawn something in the past month I enjoy writing FANDOMS ARE MY #1 PASSION I do or have done martial arts (oh fuck this)

EXPERIENCES: I have had my first kiss I have had alcohol I have scored the winning goal in a sports game I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting I have been at an overnight event I have been in a taxi I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year I have beaten a video game in one day I have visited another country I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

RELATIONSHIPS: I’m in a relationship I have a crush on a celebrity I have a crush on someone I know I have been in at least 3 relationships I have never been in a relationship I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them i get crushes easily I have had a crush on someone for over a year I have been in a relationship for at least a year I have had feelings for a friend

MY LIFE: I have at least one person I consider a “best friend” I live close at my school My parents are still together I have at least one sibling I live in the united states (ahaha thank fucking god no) There is snow right now where I live I have hung out with a friend in the past month I have a smartphone I have at least 15 CD’s I share my room with someone (uhm... I share my flat with assistant so..?!)

RANDOM SHIT: I have breakdanced I know a person named Jamie I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce I have dyed my hair I’m listening to one song on repeat right now I have punched someone in the past week I know someone who has gone to jail I have broken a bone I have eaten a waffle today I know what I want to do with my life I speak at least 2 languages I have made a new friend in the past year

I’m kinda not really in the mood to tag, buuuut do this if you feel like it and let me know ;)

#post #long post #about mama lol

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mm-society-women · 7 years

Note

a headcanon where MC has a really popular vlog channel, like she have 6+ million subs and MC has had the channel for 5 years, like her channel is her main job, and the rfa+v+saeran are caught watching her old videos because they wanted to see what she did and how she was back when they didn't know her. In the end they probably become part of her vlogging? Thanks! :D

Thank you for the ask! It’s really specific tho … are you a vlogger yourself? I don’t exactly know what vlogs actually are?? I’m sorry but but college is REALLY stressful for me and I don’t have time for anything. I’m gonna assume that they are targeted towards a specific audience….

Yoosung and the prankster

- Your vlogs are what shitposts would look like in video

- Always making funny comments, jokes, meme references and pranks

-You do these small skits too

-Yoosung had already seen some of your videos

-So when he first met you, he had a nagging feeling he had seen you somewhere before

-When he knew that vlogging was your profession, he just had to check it out

-He always knew you were very smart and funny but those videos were just amazing. He couldn’t believe how you wrote and acted those things out yourself

- His girlfriend was amazing, beautiful, smart and…. cue shot of you with a pencil stuck up your nose SO DAMN RIDICULOUS

- He laughed so hard he had to clutch his sides and strain to just breathe

-That;s when you walked in

- “Yoosung…. WHAT THE HECK,” you shouted. Isn;t that the correct response when your boyfriend is just rolling on the floor, laughing maniacally with tears streaming down his face?

- “MC! MC!” he said struggling to hold his breath, “Why didn’t you show these to me before!! You’re so talented and funny.” He waked over to you and kissed you on the lips.

- “You bet… I didn;t get all those subscribers for nothing,” you grin

- So you two ended up getting drunk and watching your videos all night.

- And ya’all had a deadly hangover the morning after

- But you were determined to make him appear in one of your videos.

- He did occasionally appear. Yoosung was adorable a nervous wreck in those videos and so people started requesting videos with him

- Besides it was so much fun showing off your cute boyfriend

Zen and the reviewer

- So you were the reviewer

- So smart, sophisticated and clever

- Always reviewing movies, books and sometimes even anime we are all only human, right?

- You were really clever, detail oriented and organised.

- You first did this as a hobby but since it really took off, you decided to make this your main job

- When you got home one day, you saw zen intently watching something on the laptop

- He was so engrossed in it that he didnt even seeing you coming

- “Sweetie, what are you doing ?” you asked

- “Gosh! Babe, you scared me!” he said as he clutched his chest. Drama Queen much?

- You learnt that he was actually watching your videos the entire evening

- “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME BABE??” he asked, “You’re so good at this!! And you have so many subscribers!!”

- “I’m not as popular as you!!” you protested as you sat next to him. He kissed your cheek.

- He whined a little and proceeded to click the next video

- “My boyfriend Zen;s new movie is amazing,” you proclaimed in the video, “You guys should check it out. He’s such talented actor….”

- You proceeded to praise Zen in the video. Something you dare not do to his face. You;re a real tsundere… I’ll give you that

- “I mean…. you were pretty good in the movie Zen…” you gave him a little fake laugh. God… that was so embarrassing

- “ Babe…” zen said as he flung the laptop.

- Before you could protest, he cupped your face in his hands and kissed you wildly.

- His hands slid under your shirt. “Why don’t we take this to the bedroom?” you suggested. He smirked.

- The beast was unleashed.

- So the first video you did with zen was such a hit! Your subscriber count went up!! And you had so many requests!! A lot of people started watching Zen’s movies too. The two of you really had such a positive impact on each others career and life

Jaehee and the coplayer

- You were a cosplayer

- Not unlike Jaehee, you were such a big fangirl too

- You cosplayed everything from anime, manga, video games to comic books

- You’ve never ever missed a convention

- Jaehee being the loving and caring wife that she is, was always the first person to watch your videos and anonymously comment good things about it and anonymously take down the bullies too

- She enjoyed watching you stitch, wear your perfect makeup and just transform yourself.

- Sometimes, when you’re in cosplay, she can barely recognise you but she never admits it

- Jaehee helped you make the vidoes. But it never struck you to make her a part of it

- But one day you had this really good idea!

-There was this really big convention coming up and what better way to introduce her to your friends???

- “Sailor Uranus and Neptune!” you proclaimed, “That’s what we should go as!”

- “I’m sorry but WE??” Jaehee dropped the cup she was holding.

- “Yes! Jaehee my darling” you did a dramatic twirl, “You must accompany me!”

- It took a lot of coaxing but she finally agreed

- And boy did you transform her

- She couldn’t believe she looked like that.

- You always caught her catching glimpses at herself in the mirror

- By God, she was cute.

- “Thank you, MC,” she smiled as she kissed you really softly on your lips.

- Your beast= unleashed.

- All throughout the convention, you took videos of your wife.

- Jaehee never knew about this

–When you finally posted the video, it was such a hit!!! People were going crazy over you and your wife! They requested a lot of videos with her.

-When Jaehee came to know about this, she blushed beet red.

- “Mc!! Stop embarrassing me like this,” she cried as she covered her face.

- Now you can finally unleash that beast in peace

Jumin and the musician

- Jumin Han is a sophisticated man

- And you;re such a sophisticated girl

- You play the violin, the piano, the flute….. name any instrument and you could play it

-You wanted to work for an orchestra but since your channel took off, you decided to make vlogging your main job

- Why not? YOu really enjoyed the freedom

- You would play anything you wanted. From complicated classical pieces to the openings of really cheesy tv shows

-You would always play something for jumin

- He preferred listen to you live than over the internet

- He really loved how your fingers moved and just how focused you were

- To him, just to see you and listen to your music was such a stress buster

- One day when Jumin found free time, he decided to check out your channel in his office

- He literally hit himself for not having seen your videos before.

- You were just as wonderful on the computer

- When you came over to give him his lunch, you were in for a shock

- Jumin was listening to an original piece by you while a drop of tear streamed down his face. He wiped it off immediately when he saw you

- “Are you one of those single tear people,” you laughed and walked over to him. Whiplash reference which jumin did not understand T_T

- “Mc…” said as he literally pounced over you. He started to kiss your neck and tried to undo your zipper.

- “Woah wait, Mr. Han! What is this about?”

- “I’m sorry Ive never seen your videos before,” he said, “You are so amazingly talented MC.”

- “If you want to make it up to me Jumin… then I know just the thing.”

- Needless to say, the great Jumin Han had to clear his schedule so that he could appear in one of your videos

- And of course your comments section was filled with different variants of “ MC ARE YOU DATING THE JUMIN HAN?”

Seven and the makeup guru

- You are the Queen. bows down to you

- Your makeup is always on point. Please teach me how to do eyebrows Y_Y

- You started doing these makeup tutorials in college

- You got really popular and thought… heck why not get paid for this

- Seven is obsessed with your videos. BOI HAS SEEN ALL OF IT

- The both of you literally stay home most of the time

- Seven loves watching you do makeup

- He gives this really cute commentary when you do it

- “AND SHE SCORES” he’d scream when youre done

- He;s actually really fashionable himself

- “ MC I think you should go with ruby woo for this”

- “Shaddup seven”

- And whenever someone makes fun of you in the comments, he has no mercy.

- YOu never knew about this. But you were pretty suspicious cause the amount of hate went down? Boi never deleted all of it, he was clever like that

- You did the ‘entire face with kids makeup challenge’ on him… while he was asleep

- He never forgave you for that….. secretly he loved it

- He tries on your makeup when you’re not there

V and the food and culture blogger

- You love travelling

-And you have this really wholesome food and culture vlog

- After all that mint eye mess, he’s not dead I promise Y_Y you guys decided to travel the world

- Your vlog was restricted to your country and ever since the world tour the subscriber count went up

- You would do these vlogs where you’d describe the scenery to V

- It was so tastefully worded

- You guys visited usual places, interacted with the most interesting people and the food…. by God it was good

- And V, being the romantic that he is, would say something once in a while that absolutely floored you

- “GOD! V, The scenery is so beautiful”

- “Is it as beautiful as you?” he’d ask as he kissed your forehead

- All in all, it became fluff overload

- V became your permanent partner in this

- You guys had so much fun doing this that it did not really feel like a job

Saeran and the gamer

- You’d do gaming vlogs….. I’ve never seen one in my entire life… and Ive only heard of pewdiepie so no hate pls

- Saeran doesnt play games…… except in the bedroom of course

- He doesnt get why you’re so obsessed

- But he still obsessively watches all your videos…. he’s a complicated boi

- He always reads ALL the comments

- Let’s just say that he’s ruined some lives

- You’ve never gotten a negative comment after he came into your life??

- You asked Saeran to stop but he’s always feigned ignorance

- You know Saeran watches your videos but he pretends he does not

- He always gives that tiny little cute smile when he watches your videos…. and you know this cause you’re a stalker like that

- Always says stupid things like “MC, I wonder what those fingers can do??”

- Aaaand you smack him on the head for it

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hoonface · 7 years

Text

Tag Games?

Thank you for tagging me!! @s-lay-ing I ACTUALLY REALLY LOVE YOUR BLOG AKDHSKASJDH THANK YOU SO MUCH!! I’m not sure which ones I was supposed to do? So I just did all of them XD I would like to taaag ( Rules: Answer the questions and tag amazing followers you would like to get to know better!) IS THAT THE RULE IM NOT SURE IM SO CLUELESS PLEASE FORGIVE ME :| anyywaaay @wonuthewhale @healinghoshi i see carmen is already tagged so no jisoosmeoli then @jisoominghao @jeongjarsofhannie and @zeungkwan !! Optional of course, and anyone else who’d like to do this is absolutely welcomed!!

Name: I prefer to be called Camilla online for personal reasons 😃 I hope you all understand!

Nicknames: not much tbh?

Zodiac Sign: Libra

Height: I actually don’t know? Around 155-157? Short af =-=

Orientation: …pardon? As in introduction? WAIT IM GONNA GOOGLE THIS: it says something but I don’t get it um so it says basic attitudes? I like to not badmouth about anyone? I’m sorry I can’t do this one TT-TT

Ethnicity: I’m from Hong Kong 😃

Favorite Fruit: …I actually don’t know um I like cherry tomatoes cut in half with cooking salt on them? I’m strange yes.

Favorite Season: Autumn

Favorite Book: this question is asking too much of me I LOVE READING MY FAVOURITE SERIES WOULD EITHER BE THE LAND OF STORIES, OR THE HUNGER GAMES 1, CAUSE TWO AND THREE WERE CONFUSING AF.

Favorite Flower: Jeonghan’s sunflower: Minghao XD

Favorite Scent: food? In general?

Favorite Colour: I like soft orange kind of?

Favorite Animal: Your domestic house pets, but I am open to new animals 😃

Favorite Beverage: …soda? Until the carbon goes up your nose and it hurts like hell :DD

Average Sleep Hours: Depends if I’m in exam period or not? Usually around 7-4??

Favorite Fictional Character: …I um. Don’t know? Sorry :|

Number of blankets you sleep with: this is so random what XD around one or two. Depends on season.

Dream Trip: The Maldives and Italy, after that I’m up for everything

Blog Created: Ooooh… September 2016?

Hogwarts House: I haven’t Harry Pottered don’t kill me pls

Time Right Now: 7 something pm

Lucky Number: 5?

Last Thing I Googled: define “orientation” as reference to ^^^^^

Favorite Bands/groups: I don’t really have a favourite group outside Seventeen, cause before kpop I listened to a variety? BUT HELL YEAH SEVENTEEN!

Favorite Solo Artist: I’m not sure heheh…

Song stuck in my head: From Now On, Kim Min Seung, THAT CUTE CUTE CUTE OST FROM WEIGHTLIFTING FAIRY

Last movie watched: in the cinemas? SAO’s Ordinal Scale.

Last TV show watched: let’s just say weightlifting fairy for this

What are you wearing right now: pyjamas?

Dream job: I don’t really have my mind set yet, but my mother suggested an editor? If I’m good enough at English that is XD

Following: um let me check…361 as of today!

Posts: 2169 holy crap

Do you get asks regularly: no TT-TT please feel free to make my day and drop in!

Do you have any other blogs: nope XD I came to Tumblr to get to know Seventeen better WHEN I CRASHED AND BURNED INTO DIAMOND LIFE AFTER MANSAE MV OK I GOT SO ALSDLASDKJ

What I Post About: I don’t post that much, but when I do its usually kpop? And occasionally personal, if you see a full stop and the tags will be me ranting or talking to myself/

Why you chose your url: I suck at puns so yeah. It used to be seventeenismyhealing and I miss that url…

When Did My Blog Reach it’s Peak: HOW DO I CHECK THIS? I am sorry I don’t know how to check this…

Second game: AM I ALLOWED TO DO THIS?

rules: bold the statements that apply to you!

appearance:

i am 5′7″ or taller

i wear glasses

i have at least one piercing

i have blonde hair

i have brown eyes

i have short hair

my abs are at least somewhat defined

i have or have had braces

there is something i would change about the way i look

personality:

my hogwarts house is: gryffindor hufflepuff ravenclaw slytherin

i am an introvert

i like meeting new people

people tell me that i’m funny

helping others with their problems is a big priority for me

i enjoy physical challenges (depends of the challenge obvi)

i enjoy mental challenges

i’m playfully rude with people i know well

i started saying something ironically and now i can’t stop saying it

there is something i would change about my personality

ability:

i can sing well

i can play an instrument

i can do over 30 pushups without stopping

i’m a fast runner

i can draw well

i have a good memory I am the human dory. I don’t remember the stuff I’m meant to remember but I remember all the things I don’t need to help.

i’m good at doing math in my head

i can hold my breath underwater for over a minute

i have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling

i know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch

i know how to throw a proper punch

hobbies:

i enjoy playing sports

i’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else

i’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else

i have learned a new song in the past week

i work out at least once a week

i’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months

i have drawn something in the past month – I DREW AN EAGLE IN ART TODAY IT LOOKS BAD LOL

i enjoy writing (yet I don’t do it :p)

fandoms are my #1 passion

i do or have done martial arts

experiences:

i have had my first kiss

i have had alcohol

i have scored the winning goal in a sports game I play basketball the points add up I don’t know who scores the winning basket XD

i have watched an entire season of a tv show in one sitting in a day?

i have been at an overnight event

i have been in a taxi

i have been in the hospital or er in the past year

i have beaten a video game in one day

i have visited another country

i have been to one of my favourite band’s concerts

relationship:

i’m in a relationship

i have a celebrity crush

i have a crush on someone i know

i have been in at least 3 relationships

i have never been in a relationship

i have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them

i get crushes easily

i have had a crush on someone for over a year

i have been in a relationship for at least a year

i have had feelings for a friend FRIENDZONEED lol jks were like best friends now

my life:

i have at least one person i consider a “best friend”

i live close to my school (I used to but I don’t go to school/uni anymore)

my parents are still together

i have at least one sibling

i live in the united states

there is snow right now where i live

i have hung out with a friend outside of school in the past month we don’t go to the same school anymoreeee

i have a smartphone

i have at least 15 cds

i share my room with someone

random shit:

i have breakdanced

i know a person named jamie

i have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce

i have dyed my hair

i’m listening to one song on repeat right now (bruh holy shit I have monsta x’s beautiful on repeat right as we speak)

i have punched someone in the past week NOT REALLY JUST LIGHT PUNCH I THINK

i know someone who has gone to jail

i have broken a bone

i have eaten a waffle today

i know what i want to do with my life

i speak at least 2 languages fluently

i have made a new friend in the past year

#thank you for tagging me in this!!#tagged #mentions #game stuff lol #text

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hanabiira · 7 years

Text

REALLY LONG CHARACTER SURVEY. RULES. repost , don’t reblog ! tag ! good luck ! TAGGED. @sakanxde TAGGING. anyone im lazy ;v;

BASICS.

FULL NAME : Miki Fuyuno NICKNAME : Tiny Taichou, Miki-chan AGE : 354 BIRTHDAY : December 3rd ETHNIC GROUP : Asian NATIONALITY : Japanese LANGUAGE / S : Japanese, Korean SEXUAL ORIENTATION : Heterosexual ROMANTIC ORIENTATION : Heteromantic RELATIONSHIP STATUS : Depends on the verse CLASS : Middle/Upper HOME TOWN / AREA : Junrinan, First District of the Rukongai CURRENT HOME : 8th Division PROFESSION : Captain in the Gotei 13

PHYSICAL.

HAIR : Honey blonde, long and straight. EYES : Lavender/violet, large, long lashes. Expressive. NOSE : Short, rounded, slightly upturned. FACE : Soft jaw, rounder cheeks. LIPS : full, naturally pinkish in colour. COMPLEXION : Fair BLEMISHES : None SCARS : None TATTOOS : None HEIGHT : 4′10 WEIGHT : 100 lbs. BUILD : Short and small but sturdy. Curvy. FEATURES : Expressive eyes. Her height. ALLERGIES : none USUAL HAIR STYLE : Long, gathers it usually in a low ponytail. Gathers the front pieces at the back of her head. USUAL FACE LOOK : content, pleased. Sort of has a resting smile. USUAL CLOTHING : Standard Shinigami uniform although the top half of her kosode has tight sleeves as opposed to loose. Wears a red sash that’s longer. Wears red flats. On days off she has plenty of yukata and has an extensive collection of formal women’s hakama for occasions. If she’s in the living world she likes floral prints, cute skirts and dresses, blouses, cardigans, heeled shoes.

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR / S : People she loves dying, being forgotten. ASPIRATION / S : To run the 8th as well as shunsui did. To be as well loved. To move it forward. POSITIVE TRAITS : Caring, helpful, kind, empathetic, joyful, passionate. NEGATIVE TRAITS : competitive, fickle, stubborn, blunt. ZODIAC : Saggitarius TEMPERAMENT : Sanguine SOUL TYPE / S : Caregiver ANIMALS : Swan VICE HABIT / S : Fickleness FAITH : Agnostic GHOSTS ? : Yes AFTERLIFE ? : Yes REINCARNATION ? : Yes ALIENS ? : No POLITICAL ALIGNMENT : N/A ECONOMIC PREFERENCE : Comfortable SOCIOPOLITICAL POSITION : N/A EDUCATION LEVEL : Academy Graduate.

FAMILY.

FATHER : Deceased MOTHER : Desceased SIBLINGS : None EXTENDED FAMILY : Has a grandmother living in the rukongai. Visits her occasionally. NAME MEANING / S : The Kanji in her fist name translates to “precious beauty”. Her last name translates to “winter field”. HISTORICAL CONNECTION ? : None

FAVORITES.

BOOK : Some of her flower books. MOVIE : She hasn’t seen many movies but she is fond of animated television shows. SONG : Classical, listens to some enka, is fond of modern pop music. DEITY : None. HOLIDAY : New years. MONTH : May SEASON : Summer PLACE : The garden WEATHER : Sunny SOUND : Piano, strings, shamisen. SCENT / S : Freesia, narcissus, vanilla, bread. TASTE / S : Lemongrass, coconut, sakura. FEEL / S : Anything soft and fluffy. Smooth feeling of some leaves. ANIMAL / S : Fox NUMBER : 5 COLORS : Red, Purple.

EXTRA.

TALENTS : Extremely knowledgeable in botany anything surrounding plants and flowers. A good cook. Creative. BAD AT : hand to hand combat, drawing, origami, public speaking. TURN ONS : Dirty talk, biting, hair pulling, being dominated. TURN OFFS : degradation, choking. HOBBIES : gardening, cooking, reading. TROPES : Badass adorable, Kicking Ass in All Her Finery, Innocent flower girl, Hello, Nurse. AESTHETIC TAGS : flowers, pink, nature. GPOY QUOTES : "bloom beautifully, dangerously, loudly, bloom softly. however you needjust bloom" —MILK AND HONEY BY RUPI KAUR

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1 : if you could write your character your way in their own movie , what would it be called , what style would it be filmed in , and what would it be about ? A1 : it would probably be some lady doing a gardening show lbr

Q2 : what would their soundtrack / score sound like ? A2 : orchestra?? mixed with traditional instruments. Uplifting!

Q3 : why did you start writing this character ? A3 : because when I made her I wasn’t comfortable, wasn’t sure how to write a canon character and she had been an OC I had for long time.

Q4 : what first attracted you to this character ? A4 : she’s mine and I love her

Q5 : describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse. A5 : how she’ll want thing one second and wont want it the next.

Q6 : what do you have in common with your muse ? A6 : WE LOVE FLOWERS AND WE LOVE FOOD.

Q7 : how does your muse feel about you ? A7 : I hope she thinks im cool.

Q8 : what characters does your muse have interesting interactions with ? A8 : Izuru (@izuru-ru), Shinji (@sakanxde), Kaien (@shiiibaa), Kyoren (@lightconsumesall), Rangiku (@rangikusan), Kensei (@kmuguruma).

Q9 : what gives you inspiration to write your muse ? A9 : My rp partners. Miki is a long standing muse. I sort of just let her do what she wants.

Q10 : how long did this take you to complete ? A10 : An hour? i stopped and started a lot

#(.:✿:. By plucking her petals you do not gather the beauty of the flower; Headcanons)

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theblueteletubby · 7 years

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get to know me

 I was tagged by the lovely @bleusarcelle, so here I am, a few days late

Five Things In My Bedroom: -books. so many books -the basics(my bed, dresser, a lamp) -my dream catcher got from my sis -flowerpot on my window -glow in the dark stars

Five Things I’ve Always Wanted To Do In My Life: -complete my bucket list -adopt -leave a lasting impact on the world -stop being a mess -become some sort of political figure so I can change and/or implement laws

Five Things That Make Me Happy: -the end of the day when I can hop into my bed and go to sleep -reading while listening to music -rain -when I can successfully talk to a bunch of people without turning into a joke to stop them from realizing I'm the joke -chickens

 Five Things On My To-Do List: -lol -I don't have a to-do list -I'm a big mess -probably make a to-do list

Five Things People May Not Know About Me: -I'm ambidextrous -a synesthete(spefically hearing-vision and mirror touch) -I have mild social anxiety, even though it may not seem like it, since I'm "confident and not self-conscious" -when people hate on me, it has no effect. Like, I seriously don't get hurt, even if my family insult me. Idk why. so I'm kinda apathetic? hmm

 Name?: Whale Nicknames?: WC, the worst™, and more recently, MJ Zodiac?: im a cusp. also I'm changing my birthday, so wait a bit lol Sexual Orientation?: ace. side note: my romantic orientation is going under some construction. all I know is that I'm a bit gay and also demiromantic Ethnicity?: all over tbh Favourite Fruit?: fruit and ora would kill me if I said apples/oranges. so pomegranates Favourite Season?: Spring. Favourite Flower?: frangipanis are the most beautiful flowers I've ever seen. Favourite Scent?: rain and apple blossom trees. One just bloomed near my house, so I'm in heaven. Favourite Animal?: chickens. this should be obvious by now lol Coffee, Tea, or Hot Chocolate?: coffeee. I seriously would die without coffee. hnghhh Cat or dog?:Chickens. Dream Trip?: going on an around the world scavenger hunt, all expense paid. Number of Followers?: idk. It really doesn't matter to me. I haven't been to logistics since I edited my blog a few months back. What do I post about?: i shitpost, scream about my many, many fandoms(mostly voltron, Broadway musicals, miraculous ladybug, a variety of webcomics, dr who, sometimes video games and yoi, a lot of other things) Do I get asks on a regular basis?: nope. I don't really know what anyone would ask me about though? I don't really post my content. I will soon though Favourite Band?: Again, nope. I don't have a favorite band. I do like a multitude of genres though. Aesthetic?: nah. I don't really have an aesthetic. It's my mindset to see beauty in everything, even just a little. Fictional Character I’d Date?: don't really want to date them, but I'd love to be friends with a lot of them. probably pidge from vld, and Connor from dear Evan Hansen Hogwarts House?: I really, really dislike Harry Potter. I read all the books, but in my opinion it's not the best of the best. I don't believe in all its hype. So nope.

Rules: BOLD or star the statements that are true for you! 

APPEARANCE: I am 5'7" or taller (i really don't know. Last I checked I was 5'6. So yup, probably) I wear glasses I have at least one tattoo I have at least one piercing I have blonde hair I have brown eyes I have short hair (I cut my hair last summer after it got irritating. It's now chin length.) My abs are at least somewhat defined I have or have had braces

PERSONALITY: I love meeting new people(semi true. Depends on how much social interacting I'd done) People tell me that I’m funny Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me(borderline altruistic tbh. I would die for some of my really close friends. I'm sure of that.) I enjoy physical challenges I enjoy mental challenges I’m playfully rude with people I know well I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it(all the FUCKING TIME. it's like I can't stop, and it sounds so sincere people give me double takes) There is something I would change about my personality (so much)((but at the same time, I know I'm okay))

ABILITY: I can sing well I can play an instrument(I did piano for three months. And flute for a year. Does that count? I'm counting it) I can do over 30 pushups without stopping I’m a fast runner I can draw well(one day I'll post my stuff)(one day) I have a good memory(actually, another interesting fact. I inherited my moms photographic memory. I remember insanely well, at least things I see that are written down. It's been tested and stuff) I’m good at doing math in my head(i really hate math though) I can hold my breath underwater for under a minute I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch I know how to throw a proper punch(im family friends with Muhammad Ali's bodyguard, Shaykh Neelain. He gave a bunch of us a class a couple years back, so that was fun)

EXPERIENCES: I have had my first kiss I have had alcohol(I don't drink) I have scored the winning goal in a sports game I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting(many times. Most recently, 13 reasons why) I have been at an overnight event I have been in a taxi I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year I have beaten a video game in one day I have visited another country I have been to one of my favourite band’s concerts

RELATIONSHIPS: I’m in a relationship I have a crush on a celebrity I have a crush on someone I know(hmm, kinda? Idk if it really counts as a crush) I have been in at least 3 relationships I have never been in a relationship I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them I get crushes easily (it's hard for me to tell if I like people in a romantic or platonic sense, so I just let those feelings fester till I can't tell. In that sense, I crush easily) I have had a crush on someone for over a year I have been in a relationship for at least a year I have had feelings for a friend(platonic feelings! whoop whoop! hah no)

MY LIFE: I have at least one person I consider a “best friend”(yeah no. I have good friends, but there's isn't really one person I click with.) I live close at my school My parents are still together(separating, actually. It's really stressful because I can't really talk with anyone about it, so I just keep it to myself.) I have at least one sibling I live in the United States There is snow right now where I live I have hung out with a friend in the past month I have a smartphone I have at least 15 CD’s I share my room with someone

And that's about it folks. Idk why anyone would want to know me better, but there we go. So I'm just going to tag anyone who pops up. If you want to get tagged, then just say I tagged you. Um @meemerd, @substantiallyhygge, @panicking-chemicals, and @auroraangel900

#longpost #rip

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