#And the fact that I'm a switch won't help at all because like tie me up daddy but also I can and will peg him if need be with pleasure ngl | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

reserwrekt · 8 months

Text

I feel like I had everyone fooled into thinking I was normative or "okay" for two years. (2017-2019)

But the thing is, I never said I was. I had started over after my oldest brother passed away and all my friends left me to deal with it on my own.. I had told everyone around me that I'm not okay, that I have all these diagnosis, that I was sui, and I'm sick all the time.

But everyone ignored me. They ignored those parts. Then, when I started showing signs of my problems and disabilities- they'd act surprised. "I didn't think it was that bad."

My situationship at the time famously told me to drive myself to the ER when I woke up with sepsis, beginning stages of shock, kidneys shutting down. And as I was getting ready, I passed out, pissed, and vomited everywhere. It took me not being able to get back up, for him to sigh angrily and take me.

When we got to the hospital, I was stoic. The staff didn't expect anything. When they took my blood pressure, they suddenly started swarming me, ripping my clothes off my body, and scolding him for not calling an ambulance. (Blood pressure was nothing, like I think 50/40 something like that.)

But again, the fact that the ER staff assumed nothing was wrong, taking their time, and then realizing the emergency. I've always been treated like this..

During my hospitalization, the antibiotics weren't working. That made sense, because I've had a long history with antibiotics and already had antibiotic resistant sickness. But I could hear the staff talking about moving me to a critical care unit, in my valume induced haze. I could hear the nurses explaining "sepsis protocol" to each other. I would get woken up to more anticoagulant being injected through my stomach. I could hear them gossip about how they've "never not felt a pulse in a living person." As they started using my feet to check instead.

During this time, maybe I was hallucinating, I was having long vivid conversations with my passed brother. He told me I had a choice to join him now or not.

I put my deadbeat family's grieving, over my own. It was extra hard bc I was the only one supporting my brother, everyone left us alone.. I told him I couldn't. Then I started to respond to the medication (they switched antibiotics.)

For the next year, I felt I had a tie to my brother and we kept having conversations.

I was dating someone who literally wouldn't believe me or even try to empathize (same idiot.)

I asked my brother why doesn't everyone experience this? And he said it was because they couldn't handle it... and he said "look at how you've been.." and he was right. I was starting to obsess over it. I was regretting my choice to live. And then I'd have to wake up, feeling all this grief, next to a golden retriever who wouldn't even acknowledge that I woke up sobbing every day.

I had to get out of there, but because I had started over, the only people I knew, were HIS people..

I didn't trust his friend that was a little too eager to know me, but I didn't have anywhere else to go. I talked to her about some of the issues and how I don't know how to make it on the street as I'm awaiting disability.

Ofc she invited me to live with her, but I knew she had just married a guy she didn't even like. The red flags were there. And I told her on the first day, what always happens in my life. I said how no one ever helps unless they have other motives. I told her about every "family friend" who promised to get me out of foster care. I said EXACTLY how this was going to end, and I was right every step of the way.

I told her "I have severe problems that no one understands. They always say they do, but when I show signs and symptoms, they demonize me."

"No I won't. "

She did.

I told her "every family friend that said they were going to rescue me, went around and told everyone that's what they were doing, and then usually something happens like their partner gets jealous of me or something, it creates problems, and then when they break up, they leave me to die." And literally all of those things happened.

"I'm a licensed therapist." Yeah, and that's the scary part.

Meanwhile her husband was microagressing me the entire time I was there, I had JUST got my disability money (1yr living there) and then instead of being a dick to just me, he started taking it out on her. Then she immediately found ANOTHER Indigenous, two-spirit, Bipolar person to abuse. Then, that person told me that she basically told them that she was ME. She used her photos, but told them to a T MY personality.

All the people around us during that time, had no idea about me or my life. And then I got to see her go on and be successful at MY personality.

So for the past while, the things that I was interested in, that I showed her, shared with her, no longer felt like mine. So now I'm like in a very weird place with who I am.

I basically feel like for the past couple years, everyone ignored the real me, and cherry picked every detail THEY liked. So now I'm just extra messed up.

#i got the tysm #beware the people who mirror you to gain your friendship #i literally got her into collecting bones bc im Indigenous and its something my family had always done #and i showed her how to find them and everything #she wouldn't hang out with me towards the end saying she was depressed over her divorce whilst going on vacation #during the pandemic and she took a yt friend to COLLECT BONES after ditching me for months #i feel colonized lol #then she told the Indigenous person that was her thing lol #she's white passing and she stole my personality. it works for her bc she looks white but it doesn't work for me and that's ME #like i was already messed up before all that and it makes it worse that she knew everything i went through and she KNOWS #i predicted her every move from day one #but I'M always the one that ends up alone. and now I'm discovering I'm autistic #I'm sure it's a matter of time before “she does too” even though she's against meds and told me being trans was a mental illness antivax #like she's got a degree from a school that actually edicated ppl think is way behind on mental health #her ex husband is autistic and she didn't know that. my gf is obviously autistic to neurotypicals and she “didn't know” that #but she knew how to manipulate them that's for sure #you ever have a neurotypical see you vocal stimming and they infantalize you and think its cute so they start doing it #and pretend like they did that all along? yeah that's her.

0 notes

heaven-in-a-wild-flower · 3 years

Text

Crows Headcanon: Celebrating Pride Month

If you'd rather read this and more Crows headcanons on ao3 here's the link.

I have headcanoned Kaz as heteroromantic asexual (ace), Inej as biromantic demisexual (bi demi-ace), Wylan as homosexual (gay), Jesper as bisexual (bi), Nina as pansexual (pan) and Matthias as straight. (This is just what I see them as, not the only possiblity). Also I know that Pride month is long over, I wrote this in June, this is just the polished version.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2 (the chapters aren't related and do not continue the story, each can be read separately)

Today's the day. Jesper and Nina wake up first. They both get up in nearly identical ways, springing up out of bed, bursting with excitement. Jesper gently shakes Wylan awake, who doesn't need much encouragement to wake up because he's excited too (not as much as Jesper of course, no one could be that excited). Nina bustles about the room, getting ready, unintentionally waking Matthias up, who is a light sleeper (Soldiers have to be. While he knows he's not a soldier anymore, his body has yet to forget it). Inej is on the roof doing her morning yoga while Kaz is making breakfast (he's surprisingly domestic when it comes to it. He's not fantastic at cooking but he can make basic dishes perfectly).

Matthias, Kaz, Inej and Wylan have settled in at the table to eat breakfast when Nina and Jesper saunter in. Jesper looks dashing in his multicoloured suit. The blazer is blue, the trousers are purple, the shirt inside is pink, and his tie is covered in pink, purple and blue sequins. Nina looks gorgeous in her sparkly gown. It has pink glitter for the bodice, which morphs into yellow glitter at the middle and concludes with blue glitter at the end, making a perfect ombre. They pose at the doorway, to loud applause from Wylan, cheering from Inej, a gasp from Matthias and a deadpan from Kaz.

"We're going to the Pride Parade today, obviously," Nina says, gesturing to their outfits. "Who's coming?"

"I'm in," Wylan says. He's never been allowed to go to a Pride Parade before so he's so excited to see what it'll be like. Part of him is afraid, too. That he somehow won't fit in even there.

"I'll go," Matthias adds, smiling softly at Nina, possibly not even sure what he's agreeing to except that Nina will be there, looking like this.

"I'll come too," Inej replies, smiling at the two Grisha, beyond proud of how comfortable they are in their own skin and identity.

Kaz nods at them which is a fairly enthusiastic yes for him (Someone has added rainbow sprinkles to all the food and it could only be one person, the person who made it but Kaz will never admit to that).

Later, in the afternoon, Wylan is making Pride-themed smoke bombs (his own idea, he's so proud of it), Nina is helping Inej decide what she wants to wear, Matthias is researching Pride related words because he wants to understand what this community is about, and Jesper and Kaz are talking (talking is a bit of a stretch, but basically Jesper is talking at Kaz, ranting actually, and Kaz is nodding here and there).

In the evening, they all go to the Pride Parade. Wylan has a rainbow shirt on, Inej has a demisexual flag badge and a biromantic flag one attached to her top, and Matthias and Kaz are dressed as they normally would. They decide to split up (although the decision is mostly made by the fact that Wylan drags Jesper with him as he sets off in one direction, Nina walks off in another dircetion and Matthias follows, and Inej and Kaz decide to go slowly at their own pace).

Wylan is absolutely fascinated by all the colourful things they're selling. He's racing from one stall to another, and Jesper is keeping pace with him happily. Nina is enthralled by the food. They have pride coloured (and flavoured) waffles! After Nina and Matthias eat till they're full though, Nina quickly switches to buying all sorts of knick-knacks (Matthias is automatically given the task of bag carrier when Nina turned to him with suspiciously wide eyes and said, "Who else should I ask for help but my big strong Fierdan boyfriend?" Matthias knew he was being baited but agreed anyway because he loves her). Inej and Kaz are walking slowly, taking everything in, while Inej sneaks glances at Kaz to make sure the crowd isn't bothering him and Kaz does the same.

Kaz seems blank-faced the whole time until a little girl smiles at him and tries to wrap rainbow coloured ribbons around his cane. He shakes his head and points at the black, grey, white and purple set. She smiles and acquiesces. Inej watches this interaction with a small smile hidden behind her hand.

When they finally return home, Matthias is somehow (we know how, or rather who) covered in stickers and badges and scarves and face paint and so so much more. Nina is full and happy with all the purchases she made. Wylan and Jesper are admiring the few things Wylan bought when suddenly Wylan pulls out a gun from behind his back and points it at Jesper. "Boom!" he says, and Jesper realises that the gun is actually a holster painted blue, purple and pink. Wylan grins and hands it to him, and Jesper mock seriously promises to protect it with his life. Inej is laughing softly as Kaz tries to remove the ribbons from his cane and only succeeds in trapping himself in it too.

Wylan realises that he does fit in there, Jesper feels euphoric that he can be this open with his identity, Nina's heart feels full from all the love, Matthias's head feels full from all the Queer related terms he learned today, Inej feels a serene kind of happiness at seeing others like her, and Kaz, well Kaz doesn't have feelings, what are you talking about? (Kaz is happy, nothing else, just happy).

Next Chapter (Chapter 3)

Let me know if anyone wants to be added to the tag list.

#six of crows #soc #grishaverse #soc hc #crows headcanon #crows hc #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #kanej #kanej headcanon #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #wesper #wesper headcanon #nina zenik #matthias helvar #helnik headcanon #helnik #shadow and bone

42 notes · View notes

chronicalchaos · 3 years

Text

Wick modern AU: Explained +Some fun facts

Uhm, i was gonna wait until i finish this AU's synopsis and new book cover, but both will be taking a while until they get ready...

And i wanted to post this "overview" for a while now, anyways, here's some fun facts and a summary of the story:

Old book cover:

I'm really proud of Sam's shading, but the twins look weird and Tom looks old...I won't use this cover, 'cus Travis and Duncan are main characters as well and i want to include them on the cover. +My art style changed!

Story summary:

Just a quick thing! I changed quite a few things to fit the narrative and the modern days setting, i hope you understand!

The story of this AU happens in September 2014, a little less than a month until Sam’s birthday, where the Weavers aren't dead– Well, most of them aren't...

The narrative is centered on a curse, that was based on the audio that plays when you pick up Benny's bible, where 7 people are affected by it: Tim, Tom, John, Sam, John's brother/Sam's dad(I won't name him), Mary and James.

Sam's, Travis' and Duncan's side of the story will be more on the investigative side maybe with a bit of comedy(I'm not good with writing that, so it will most likely be just investigation), while Tim and Tom's side will be the more angst and unusual/horror side. Sam will have a bit of horror as well, since he's linked with them by the curse, but the twins will definitely have the spotlight when it comes to horror/unusual stuff.

Fun Facts:

General:

The story happens a week, maybe a bit more, after summer break

Even tho one of the first chapters is set on school, them going to school will probably just be mentioned or implied, Example: Them leaving a school bus

For some reason, i saw a few stories where everyone knew what polio is and how it works, which i felt it wouldn't be realistic, so that won't happen here

It has a lot of paranormal stuff

The summer camp by the Weaver's property is closed and has been like that for a few years now

Just Mary and James call the twins Changelings, the rest of the city knows there are "changelings" walking around, just, not that the twins are them

There's no changelings, they think there is, but in reality it's just a curse(like that's something lighter than a demon switched with a child at birth)

The song that helps me get in the mood of this story when I'm writing is "Far too young to die" by Panic! At the disco

Timas Weaver:

Tim is 12, he'll be 13 in...approximately 3 months

He was born December 30th 2001 and is the oldest between him and Tom

He's almost an inch shorter than Tom

He has a huge burn scar! It goes from a bit more than half of his chest, both his arms, his palms and his whole neck, he got that scar when he was 3 years old

He's does not have asthma, but he does have extreme pyrophobia on it's place

He has flat affect, his face doesn't match his emotions/he looks serious most of the time(I'm so sorry if I don't portrait it right! Please give me constructive criticism if I do something wrong here!)

He's a theater kid and would be quoting a lot of musicals if Mary didn't isolate him and Tom from the world(The theater part only exists because of his and Tom's masks)

The whittling thing exists here, but like, it won't be of much importance to the story, the knife will! But not the whittle part

He despises spiders and it's Tom's fault!

He climbs trees (there's not much I can say here to be honest)

He has this...i don't know if you can call it a quirk, but, he tends to tilt his head to the left, it's kinda random

He's ambidextrous, was left handed, but Mary forced him to learn to use his right hand

He teached himself how to throw knifes...don't mess with him

Paranoia!

Needs therapy

Tomathy Weaver:

Tom is 12 and will be 13 in approximately 3 months

He was born December 30th 2001 and is the youngest between him and Tim

He's almost an inch taller than Tim

He doesn't have Polio now, he did when he was...around 5 years old

His left leg is bigger than his right one, his right feet reaches his left ankle

His left ankle is paralyzed, that's why he uses a leg brace

He's claustrophobic, he developed that on the same day Tim got his scar and pyrophobia

He won first place on a spelling bee before he got Polio and he used to spell when he got anxious, but after John's disappearence he started shuddering, shaking and cracking his joints instead, very similar to how he shudders on the game

He loves spiders!

He is really flexible, but, because of his polio, he can't play around with it anymore

He likes to draw

He has pretty bad scoliosis

Paranoia #2!

Socially awkward baby

Went to therapy when little, needs to go back

Caleb Weaver:

Caleb is 9 years old

He was born August 19th 2005

He's almost the same height as Timas

He was a year old when Tom had polio

He's actually James' kid, not John's

He won first place in 2014's(the year the story happens) county track meet

He dislikes Tim

Lillian Weaver:

Lillian is 5 years old

She was born February 28th 2009

She's a bit tall for her age

She's notorious for making little deals between her and her siblings, like helping them get away with something in exchange of something(getting her out of class during their recess, buying a new plushy, etc.)

She's a really curious and affectionate kid, loves hugs, kisses and especially being picked on someone's lap

She loves bunnies(even tho this isn't a surprise)

Benjamin Weaver:

Benjamin is 14 years old and will be 15 in less then a month

He was born October 24th 1999

He's just really tall compared to the twins (it's kinda funny, Tim and Tom are 4 years older than Caleb, but they are just an inch taller than him)

He's really religious and prays a lot for his siblings' health and safety

He's been trying to take care of Tom after John's disappearence, since Mary doesn't do it, much the opposite, she hides Tom's medicines on purpose

Mary Weaver:

I didn't give her neither an age nor a birthday...i probably need to do that

She had an affair with James, when the twins were 4 and Benny was 6, Caleb was born from this affair

She doesn't hit any of her kids, but she does neglect most of them

On the nights between Saturday and Sunday, she doesn't sleep, she spends this time praying with a candle, then, before they go to church, she writes everything that happened that night on her diary

She has a lot of diaries, she keeps them in the attic

She's a little bitch(i don't know what else to say about her)

Pastor James McAlroy:

James also doesn't have an age nor birthday (i only have the Weaver kids and Sam's birthdays)

He won't appear much, but he does have a big role on the story

He's Caleb's biological dad(i mentioned that like 3 times already)

He tried doing a "honest-to-god exorcism" on the twins, it was just a cover for an attempt of murder

He's a toxic little shit(there's not much I can say about him)

Samuel Burton:

Sam is 12 years old and will be 13 in less than a month

He was born in October 2nd 2001

Him and Travis are Brothers on their mom's part

He's cousin with the Weavers, minus Caleb, they just don't know each other

He can be just as smug as Travis sometimes

He absolutely hates going on ghost hunting, he thinks it's dumb

He has long hair and freckles all over his body

He's just too lazy to tie his own shoes

He's the only one that remembers to bring a backpack when ghost hunting

While Travis is the camera man, he's the flashlight guy

Travis Burton:

Travis is 15 years old and i don't have a birthday for him, well, he would be born in 1999 just like Benny

He doesn't like wearing glasses, but doesn't have other choice, he either doesn't take proper care of his lenses and gets his eyes irritated or he just lost them

He's the face of his and Duncan's channel

He tries to drag Sam to be part of the channel, but he doesn't really want to be part of it

He cusses way too much

He's brave, only because he goes face first into danger without thinking

Duncan:

Duncan is 15 and would also be born in 1999

Big ass coward, sends Travis and Sam to go investigate on his place every fucking time

Entitled as fuck

The "brain" behind his and Travis' channel

He's suspiciously good on researching, he'll find the most unexpected things about you

He's a little shit as well

...i think that's it! Now i can go continue the first chapter and maybe finish it soon

#wick (2015)#travis burton #wick hellbent games #tom weaver #tim weaver #caleb Weaver #lillian weaver #benny weaver #mary weaver #sam #duncan #wick #modern au #wick au

20 notes · View notes

xxkellsvixen19xx · 3 years

Text

Spotlight: Life Of A Troubled Celebrity Heartthrob Ch 5.1

Word Count: 7,019 *Between Both Parts

Colson woke up first as moonlight beat down on his face. He sat up and stretched his lean body. When he had planned this trip he hadn't anticipated falling asleep on the boat. He looked at Y/N and didn't have the heart to wake her but she slowly opened her eyes when he stirred.

"What time is it?" She rubbed her eyes and yawned.

"It's just a little after midnight. We should get back it's a bit cold out here." He threw the blanket over Y/N. "You can go back to sleep while I drive us back."

"I think I'll come and keep you company." She stifled another yawn.

"If you insist. I won't complain." He kissed her long and hard.

"I wish we could stay this way forever." He sighed as he held her face in his hands.

"No you don't. You would probably get bored in a few minutes." She joked.

"Spend the night with me." His face was illuminated by the moonlight, piercing blue eyes pleading with her. He didn't want this night to end. All he wanted was to spend more time with her. Not in a sick perverted way but he just wanted to be close to her-to hold her and never let her go.

"Colson I-"

"All I want to do is hold you okay? No second base..unless you want-"

"Don't push it Baker." She laughed and swatted his shoulder.

"Okay let me get you out of here. Stay here it's warmer okay?" He straightened the thick blanket over her. Then went over to start the engine and steered the boat back to the estate. She snuggled under the warm blanket and dozed off.

"Sorry to wake you sweets but we're here. I would carry you out of the boat but we would both end up in the water." He laughed as she squinted up at him.

"Okay." She said her voice horse and her head still groggy.

Y/N stumbled across the gangplank, Colson laughed as he scooped her into his arms and carried her into the house. He took the steps up to his room, kicked the door open and laid her down gently on the soft bed. She even tried to protest when he removed her shoes but he pushed insisted.

"Colson that isn't necessary. I can do that myself. I'm not an invalid." She was wide awake now.

"Your feet are stone cold Bambi! Should I run you a bath?" He rubbed her feet but his efforts were futile.

"Hmmm, I think I'd love to soak in a warm bath right now." She rolled her neck and stretched out her body. Colson couldn't help but stare and was glad Y/N couldn't read his thoughts right now, because they were anything but clean.

"Am I allowed to join you? I'm cold too." He said as he stood and made his way to the bathroom.

"Sure why not? I'm sure the jacuzzi is big enough for both of us.." Y/N taunted him. She leaned back on the bed a naughty smile on her face. She couldn't understand where her sudden boldness came from? It was probably because she was sleeping on her feet and her brain wasn't functioning in its full capacity. I mean who takes a bath after 1:00am??

"Careful what you wish for Bambi.." He wagged his finger at her. "I just might call your bluff sweets." He ran the bath water and added some strawberry scented bubble-bath. He walked back to the bedroom and found Y/N undressing.

"Oh! Sorry-I didn't-you should have-" He sputtered, his hands flew to cover his crimson face. Y/N threw her head back and laughed.

"Really Baker! Is this your first time to see a girl half-naked?" She threw her play-suit in his face as she walked past him and into the bathroom. Colson caught it before it hit the floor and stood there confused. He didn't want to misinterpret anything but that action right there, seemed like an invitation to him. Maybe it was time for him to test the waters..literally.

Y/N had left the bathroom wide open..another sign. He proceeded cautiously through the door, there was no going back after this. Y/N was lying in the tub with her hair tied up in a messy bun, her eyes closed as if she was asleep. Colson stood at the door and removed his clothes silently. He slipped into the jacuzzi and sat opposite Y/N and waited for some sort of reaction from her.

"Took you long enough to get here Baker. I almost fell asleep waiting for you." She said drowsily. Her eyes remained closed.

"You're hungry? I've asked Alison, the housekeeper, to bring us something. We can eat once we're done."

"Hmmm." Replied.

Food was the last thing on his mind right now. He wanted to eat something that was sitting right in front of him-in fact he wanted to devour her-to ravish her until they were totally spent. But with a lot of difficulty, he restrained himself and told himself good things come to those who wait.

"You need help staying awake sweets?" He slid over to her side and pulled her towards him.

"What did you have in mind?" Her eyes flew open and he saw the desire ignited in them. Now was the time he would make his move. The look in her eyes gave him the green light and told him everything he needed to know.

"A few things.." He brushed his lips lightly against hers and heard her inhale sharply. He teased her with feather-light kisses until her breathing was ragged. Then he kissed her thoroughly, his tongue touching every inch of her mouth.

They were interrupted by a loud knock on the door. They sprang apart but made no move to answer the door. Colson's arctic orbs burned into Y/N's brown ones and no words needed to be said. He stepped out of the tub and wrapped a fluffy bath towel around her body, their nakedness no longer an obstacle. She was swept of her feet and carried into the bedroom and laid on the bed. Colson hovered over her as if seeking permission to continue. She pulled him closer and their lips melted into each other again-but the incessant knocking was a mood-killer.

"You probably should get that." Y/N whispered into his lips as he looked down at her, frustration contorting his features. He let out a low angry growl and hopped off the bed to answer the door. Y/N felt sorry for whoever was standing on the other-side.

"Jax! What is it? It's almost two in the morning!" Colson scowled as he open the door just a crack.

" Anyway-you requested food so I offered to bring it up-" He motioned to the food cart, "plus there is an urgent matter that need your immediate attention..before it hits the press in a few hours. Byron and Andre are waiting downstairs"

"Let me get dressed. I'll be right down. Leave the cart outside I'll get it just now." Colson shut the door and got dressed quickly.

"Is everything okay?" Y/N pulled the covers over her and sat up.

"Yeah-you can eat and I'll join you in a bit." He wheeled the food into the room and kissed her on the forehead before dashing out.

Y/N jumped out of bed and went to rummage through Colson's closet, in search of a T-shirt or PJs that would fit her. She came so close-again-but she wasn't sure if she was relieved or disappointed. She stood in the closet and noticed they was woman's clothing neatly stacked in a shelf, while the dresses and jackets were hanging on the rails.

Y/N's heart sank as she fingered the clothing. The clothes seemed fairly new and were about her size. Probably they belonged to one of his many girlfriends and he had forgotten to hide them away or he had meant for them to remain here. She gave herself a mental shake, grabbed a pair of pink PJs and slipped them on, even it meant taking a risk of him being upset with her.

"Thank you floozy, for leaving your clothes in Colson's closet." She muttered to herself, as she dived under the covers, her appetite gone. What did she expect anyway? Of course he had a constant stream of girls sleeping over and she was probably just another statistic. But she still wanted him. Even as the silent tears slid down her face and onto the therapeutic pillow, her heart still yearned for him, for his touch, for his presence and a whole lot more.

It wasn't long before she nodded off to sleep.

********************************************

"What do you mean I signed the wrong document?? Don't I pay you to make sure that never happens??" Colson flipped over the glass table in a rage. Andre loosened his tie and cowered in the corner, beads of sweat scattered on his forehead.

"Look Colson, why don't we all take five? Let's step outside so you can get a bit of fresh air and collect our thoughts?" Byron put his hand on Colson's shoulder and he shrugged it off, before storming into the cool night-or morning rather.

Dawn was breaking and while Colson loved to watch the sunrise, he didn't derive any joy from it today. It had turned from a beautiful day to a nightmare-his worst nightmare. He sat by the poolside and hung his head in his hands. How was he going to get out of this mess? Most importantly how was he going to explain it to Y/N? Yet again he had got her entwined in his drama. He ripped of his t-shirt and dove into the water, did laps back and forth until he was spent. The sun was peeping threw the clouds when he jumped out and collapsed onto the well manicured lawn.

Byron stood over him and handed him a towel and a robe after he had dried himself. Alison had begun to serve breakfast out on the patio and Jax was barking orders to the bodyguards. Security was on high alert as per Colson's instructions. Y/N would need a bodyguard as well, once the story got out.

"I'm going to go break the news to Y/N before she hears it from someone else. Please don't come anywhere near my room until I say so. If anyone so much as knocks..there will be hell to pay." Colson stormed back into the house and ran up the stairs to his room. Y/N was still sound asleep when he jumped in behind her. He put his arms around her and held her like it was the last time. After what he had to tell her he was sure she would never want to see him again, because it would throw her world into absolute chaos.

"Hmm..you're cold." She protested, still half-asleep.

"Sorry baby I had an early morning swim.. I just need to hold you right now. Is that okay?" He snuggled closer to her and tightened his hold. The talk would have to wait until she was well-rested. He made sure to switch off both their phones earlier on so he was safe for now.

"Hmm..You okay?" She asked.

"Yeah-please go back to sleep baby." He kissed her hair.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Andre please explain to me again how you messed up the paperwork? You always so articulate and careful. What went wrong this time? Your wife giving you problems man?" Byron paced up and down Colson's study, where he, Andre and Jax were having a closed door meeting.

"I had printed out the revised contract for him and Y/N to sign right? Then my sister-in-law asked me to process her papers for a marriage contract so I could submit them to the courts, then she could get her marriage licence. But I know someone that can take a shortcut and-somehow I mixed up the documents so-Colson and Y/N signed-in actual fact-not only a marriage contract but a marriage certificate. I don't know how I missed it..probably it was in between their documents and they mistakenly signed it. Well..it was my mistake but I then went on to submit it to court now-" Andre sighed and gulped down his third glass of whiskey, forgetting that it was only a little after 6:00am.

"Now some douche from the marriage office got his dirty hands on the documents and is blackmailing us for freakin' $5mil. Thanks for that Andre. Thanks a lot!" Byron spat. He pulled at his hair in agitation and threw deathly daggers at Andre.

"Look I know I messed up okay?? I'm probably going to be out of a job when Colson walks back down those stairs..I'm so screwed." Andre sank back into the couch and covered his face with a cushion. "Plus that guy has given us until noon to pay up or else.. "

"He's leaking it to the highest bidder." Byron finished off distastefully.

"How are we going to fix this Byron?" Andre sat on the edge of his seat.

"Unfortunately, you have hit a very sensitive spot..Colson is rather fond of Y/N and has developed a strong attachment to her. He doesn't know it yet but I think he's actually in love with her." Byron put his hands in his pockets and stared at the carpet thoughtfully.

"Yeah. I noticed.." Andre pursed his lips. "I'm finished aren't I?"

"Yeah." Byron nodded.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Morning sweets." Colson leaned over and kissed Y/N on her forehead. "You sleep enough?"

"Ye-ah, I guess..we had a pretty late night." She sat up and stretched out her arms. "Sorry for wearing these PJs-I needed something to wear." She said sheepishly.

"What?? No need to apologize sweets, they're yours." He smiled.

"Mine?"

"Yeah-" He shifted nervously," Look Y/N there's something I need to tell you." He swallowed hard not being able to meet her eyes.

"Y/N? Wow-this has to be serious then." She pushed her back and propped herself on the headboard. "I'm listening.."

Colson explained the mess up that Andre had got them into. Y/N's face went from confusion to shock. After Colson was done she sat quietly, staring into space.

"So..what you're trying to tell me is that we're married??!"

"Yes." He finally met her bewildered expression. "We can get an annulment-"

"No! I don't want that on my record." She raised her hand.

"Tell me what you want me to do? I know apologizing is pointless but I really am sorry Y/N." Colson held her hands and looked intently at her. The remorse clearly displayed on his handsome face.

"Say something baby. Please?" She still hadn't responded to his question and it was beginning to scare him.

"I'm sorry..I need to go home." She hoped off the bed using the other end, wanting to escape. The walls felt like they were caving in and she found it hard to breath. She had to put some distance between them so she could think straight. How could she be married to Colson Baker? Married??

"Y/N! Wait!" She slammed the bathroom door in his face and locked it. "Can we talk about this?" He leaned his head against the door.

"Please sweets? Can you allow me to fix this? We're in this together remember?" The door suddenly flew open and she stood there, tears streaming down her face. It tore his heart into a million pieces seeing her like that.

"How are you going to fix this Colson?! Huh?! Please tell me??!" She cried out and started to punch his chest. He grabbed her wrists and crushed her against his chest.

"I'm really sorry okay? I'm going to fix this. Trust me okay?" He cooed as he smoothed her hair with his hands. "It's killing me to see you like this-I can't-" His voice broke and he buried his face in her neck.

They sank to the bathroom floor still in each others arms. Y/N's cries were now sniffles and her head was lying on Colson's shoulder. This was a perfect disaster. How would he even fix it? Where would he begin?

"You want to get out of here?" He broke the silence.

"Yes. Please take me as far as possible. I don't think I'll be able to handle any of this right now." She pleaded with him, her eyes still brimming with tears. He stood up and held out his hand to her and she grabbed on it as she got up.

"You can take a quick bath while I take care of our travel arrangements. Don't worry about packing clothes or anything like that-all I want is you." He kissed her gently on her lips and left her in the bathroom.

She took a quick shower and dressed in shorts and a t-shirt. There was breakfast waiting for her at the corner table, so she wolfed down a slice of toast and cheese, washed down with a glass of orange juice. When she went downstairs in search of Colson she heard loud voices coming from the poolside.

"You're fired!" Colson shouted to Andre.

"Colson it was a mistake-" Andre tried to reason.

"One that is going to ruin an innocent girls life!" Colson shot back. "Just leave! Get out of my face!"

"Wait!" Y/N called out as Andre made his way to leave.

"Y/N, please stay out of this. Let me handle it okay?" Colson walked over to her and held her shoulders.

"Andre stays." She challenged.

"What? He's responsible for-"

"He stays." She said firmly.

"No he can't-" Colson protested.

"As your wife, I say he stays." His eyes softened, he dropped his hands and stepped back to look at her.

Everyone else stared at the exchange in awe. Andre breathed a sigh of relief and wiped his face with the back of his hand. He really needed this job, he was the sole breadwinner in his family. He had a lot of people that depended on him.

"Fine." Colson said with clenched teeth. "But you will owe me big time Bambi."

"Can we leave now before the circus begins?" She said.

"Yeah-Jax we're good?" Colson asked visibly relaxed.

"Sure thing boss." Jax replied.

"Great. Now I can go and give my wife a real honeymoon. We might even have to consummate the marriage. What do you think Bambi??" Colson put his arm around Y/N and gave her a knowing look.

"Don't push it sweetie." She rolled her eyes but her heart was hammering wildly against her chest. How was she going to handle being totally alone with the sexy, irresistible Colson Baker?

*********************************************

"Who's this?" Colson barked into the phone.

"Is that the way to greet you best friend?" Slim chuckled softly.

"Hey, how's it going dude? You alright?" Colson sat on the edge of the bed.

"I would be alright if you got me out of here. Today preferably. Otherwise..I might be tempted to bribe one of the nurses to-"

"Slim you know this is for your own good. You almost died man! I can't have that on my conscious again." Colson ran his fingers through his hair and sighed audibly. Slim needed to stay in rehab, but he didn't seem to understand that. This could be his only hope of staying alive, he had too many close calls so far.

"Listen, if you don't get me out of here this very minute then you're going to force me to do something that we will both regret. You more than me though-because you have so much more to lose." Slim said aggressively, "don't push me Col."

"That sounds like a threat?" Colson scowled. "You know better than to do that." He tut-tutted.

"Really?? How's that sweet doe-eyed obsession of yours? I wouldn't mind-" Slim taunted.

"Leave Y/N out of this okay! Touch her and you're finished. You will never work in this country again." Colson stood and gripped the phone tighter. His anger emanating through the phone.

"She might be sweeter than Dani...Now Dani was wild in the sack man, I can understand why you were hooked on her..it's a pity she had to die.." He mocked.

"You are the reason she's dead!" Colson shot back.

"Oh no, no, no. Don't give me all the credit man. You are as much to blame." Slim said deadly calm.

"Go to hell!" Colson cut the call and smashed his iPhone against the wall.

Slim had pushed him too far this time and he was going to pay dearly. How did someone claim to be your friend and then do something that contradicts the statement? How could he threaten Y/N, the only person that he had shown any remote interest since Dani?

"Hey Col, everything okay?" Byron entered the room with caution.

"I want Slim gone. I don't care how you do it but I want him gone." Colson punched his hand with force. "He dares to threaten me? Threaten Y/N?? After everything I've done for him and this is what….I want him gone." He said through gritted teeth.

"Okay," Byron sat down slowly, "I won't even ask, you can tell me whenever you're ready... But the jewelers are here, they're waiting in the study." He stood up again and turned at the door. "You can come down when you've-calmed down."

Colson went to freshen up and went to fetch Y/N from her room. He knocked softly and couldn't help but smile, when she opened the door for him. He dipped his head and kissed her softly on the lips and deepened the kiss as he felt her respond. He pushed her back onto the bed as he sought solace from the only place he knew. Sensing his need she poured herself into him and gave as good as she got. Colson finally broke off the kiss reluctantly, their breathing heavy and their eyes hazy.

"I really don't want to do this sweets, but..we have to go downstairs." He sighed and pushed back Y/N's unruly hair, "the jeweler is here and I'd like you to pick out your ring or rings, whatever you prefer is fine."

"Colson..you don't have to do this. This isn't even a proper marriage." Y/N protested.

"I know sweets but if we're going to do this then I suggest we play the part to the T. otherwise no one will believe our little story." He said as he sat at the edge of the bed.

"I thought we weren't giving in to the blackmailer's demands?" she sat up and tried to salvage her hair. She grabbed the brush on the dresser and swept it through her hair.

"We're not, we're going to beat him at his own game." Colson watched her, mesmerized.

"You okay there Baker? Would you like a spin?" She waved the brush in his face and laughed.

"Would you..brush my hair? No one's ever done that-well besides my stylist." He shrugged.

"Sure..if you really want me to.. I might as well start performing my wifely duties." The brush felt so good as it swept though his hair, he couldn't help but groan in appreciation.

"That feels so good." He closed his eyes and leaned into her. His hands went round her waist and before he could venture any further there was a loud knock.

"We're coming down in a minute-go-away!" Colson called out, his hands still wrapped around Y/N.

"We should go babe, its a quarter to eleven." Y/N didn't realize the slip but he did.

"Don't ever stop," he said.

"What?" she frowned.

"Don't ever stop calling me that," he pecked her lips and stood up. Y/N nodded dumbly, unsure how to respond.

"Let's go Bambi," he pulled her hand and led her downstairs.

The study was already occupied with the jewelers, Jax and Byron. Colson walked in and looked around, not at all pleased.

"Right this is what's going to happen-I want every one out, including you two," he pointed at the jewelers, "this moment is between my wife and I, no one else. We will let you know on how much to bill us once we've decided. I don't want her to feel pressured or uncomfortable so get," he pointed towards the door.

Everyone shuffled out wordlessly and Y/N turned to Colson with a frown.

"Was that necessary Baker?" she folded her arms.

"Yes," he simply said, "shall we begin Mrs Baker?" he pulled out a chair for her.

"Thank you Mr Baker," she smiled at him as she sat down.

"If you keep looking at me like that then I'm going to be forced to kiss you until you breathless," he stared into her big brown eyes.

"I dare you," she whispered, her heart racing.

Colson didn't need to be urged on any further; he pulled Y/N off the chair and brushed his lips over hers, torturously slowly and softly. Y/N strained her lips towards him in an effort to deepen the kiss and appease the havoc that simple act was causing in her body.

"I think we have to stop now-otherwise I won't be able to control myself," he leaned his forehead on hers.

"Okay," she replied, in barely a whisper.

"I know I promised to keep my distance..but I can't Bambi..you make it so hard..especially when you look at me like that," he gulped, "with such intensity-such innocence, I don't want to taint you," he tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"Colson..there's something I need to tell you.." Y/N diverted her gaze from him.

"Please don't say you want to leave-" he looked at her, in anguish.

"No that's not it," she shook hear head vehemently.

"Then what is it?" he turned her chin up and searched her face for answers.

"I'm not a virgin," she removed his hands from her face and went to sit down on the chaise, at the far end of the room.

Colson stood there, his hard-drive still trying to process the information that she had just laid on him. She wasn't a virgin? But that was good right? But why did she seem so sad, instead of relieved? Was she perhaps raped? Abused? He would make them pay, whoever it was they would pay, he would find them and make them pay, he thought. Y/N took his delayed response as a bad sign. She should have told him sooner, then maybe he wouldn't look so disappointed.

"Y/N, look at me," he sat next to her and held her hands, "I don't care okay? That's irrelevant sweets."

"What?" She frowned slightly.

"Sorry-that came out wrong-let me re-phrase okay?" he gave her a lopsided grin, "It doesn't matter to me okay? I know you have a past and it's nothing to be ashamed of sweets. Mine is probably ten times worse than yours," he laughed. "This doesn't change the way I feel about you okay?"

"I thought you would be disappointed," she said with despair.

"Never," he cupped her face in his hands.

"But you don't know the full story-" she protested.

"And I don't need to okay? When you're ready to tell me then you will-but for now please choose a ring baby?" They laughed and lightened the tension.

She finally settled on a simple ring in platinum with a ruby and a double row of round brilliant diamonds. They had matching wedding bands in white gold, encrusted with white diamonds. They instinctively exchanged weddings bands and smiled at each other, as they slipped the rings on each others fingers.

"You're mine now," he said before he kissed her softly.

"Does it work both ways," she countered as her heart fluttered.

"Try getting a divorce and you will see exactly how it works," he smiled at her as he held up his iPhone and took multiple shots of their rings and entwined hands. They started goofing around with the camera and took more funny photos and Colson posted the best ones on his social media; until Byron knocked on the door.

"Colson it's almost noon and the pressure is on.. you're good to go?" Byron peered through the door.

"We're more than good By, check my latest tweet," he scrolled through his phone showing Byron the photos and social media posts., "it already has over 20,000 views in less than ten minutes.

#shesaidyes #ilikeditsoiputaringonit #relationshipgoals #itsofficial #mrsandmrsbaker

"Well, this is very convincing! Hey, even I'm falling for it," Byron chuckled, "you guys have great chemistry so it will be easy for the media to eat it up."

"The only person I want to eat it is the blackmailer," Colson said as he slipped his phone into his pocket.

"Andre managed to trap him. We have managed to trace the call and he's on his way to pick him up-with the cops of course," Byron said with satisfaction.

"At least Andre did something right for a change," Colson scoffed.

"Babe, can I go and call my mom now? I promised to call her ages ago and I'm sure she's in hysterics by now.." Y/N put her hands on Colson's chest and Byron raised an eyebrow.

"Sweets, I can't apologize enough about all this-" he held her face.

"Don't- it's not your fault okay?" she kissed him again.

"I'll be up in a moment, let me finish up here okay?" Colson kissed her forehead and she left.

"So..Babe??" Byron laughed, "I got a feeling this isn't pretend anymore.."

"Shut up," Colson said, "when are you going to release the press statement? Is my jet ready? I need to get to New York for that charity benefit tonight."

"Yeah, I'm on it. We can leave for New York, whenever you're ready," Byron said.

"Great, I want to leave now. Can you ask Jax to pick up Y/N's friends and meet us at the airstrip? I'll go and make sure my bags are packed." Colson's phone rang as he made to leave.

"Baker," he said.

"So I guess congratulations are in order bro?" Slim said.

"What do you want??" Colson stiffened.

"Hey bro! Chill out! Why are you all up tight?? You just got married man! Loosen up," Slim laughed.

"You're kidding right? You have some nerve-"

"Dude, you need to chill okay? Are we still going to the charity benefit?" Slim asked.

Colson sighed as he raked his hair. "You bust out of rehab didn't you?"

"You know me too well Col," Slim cackled.

*********************************************

"I still can't decide what to wear!" Liv said, exasperated. She had gone through the closet about a million times and was even more confused than before.

"Don't worry, Michelle will be here soon," Y/N looked up from her phone.

"So has your Mom calmed down yet?" Lisa asked as she plopped herself onto the bed.

"No, she's freaking out for days!" Y/N frowned. Ever since they announced their marriage her mother was inundated with calls and was being hounded by the media again. Mrs Y/M/L/N was upset that Y/N got married without telling her and felt like she was way in over her head. She had even demanded Y/N catch the first flight home but she was adamant about staying with Colson. For now they had agreed to disagree.

"Hallooo there Mrs Baker!!" Ashleigh barged into the room and launched herself onto Y/N, causing them to fall off the bed.

"You could have just said hi like a normal person," Y/N giggled as Ashleigh straddled her.

"I leave you alone for a couple of days and you come back as Colson Baker's freakin' wife!" Ashleigh pretended to strangle her, "Oh-my-days! Will you look at the size of the rock on that ring???!"

"It's beautiful isn't it?" Y/N twisted the ring on her finger.

"Thanks for the heads up by the way," Ashleigh scowled.

"Sorry Ash, it just happened," Y/N said, out of breath, "Let me up!" she protested.

"Such things just don't happen-oh hey there Lisa! Liv!" she hugged them.

"Right, everyone in the sitting room now, we don't have much time," Michelle bust open the door and commanded everyone to start getting ready, "Y/N you're up first, Colson will be coming for you soon."

"Oh, I thought I was going with everyone else.." Y/N said.

"Not a chance, you're Colson's wife now so it's a whole new ball game. Congratulations by the way," Michelle smiled, "you need to get your make up done so you can stay in here. Let me just grab my bag, I'll be right back."

Michelle had chosen a Chanel emerald embroidered fishtail maxi dress. It accentuated all Y/N's curves, a low-cut back exposed her smooth tanned skin; fashioned from a luxurious velvet and lace material with hand embroidery all over the dress. The fishtail design and mermaid hem created a perfect silhouette. Her hair was swept up into a neat bubble-bun and a smokey-eye look for her make-up, her lipstick was a matte in crimson.

"You clean up nice Mrs Baker," Michelle admired her handiwork and handed Y/N a matching clutch purse.

"Good job as always! I can't even recognize myself," Y/N twirled around.

"Colson will not be able to keep his hands off you tonight, hope you're on birth control," Michelle joked and they laughed. There was a soft knock on the door and Michelle opened it on her way out, "hey Col, she's all yours."

Tagged: @kellysimagines

#machine gun kelly #colson baker #mgk #machine gun kelly x reader #machine gun kelly imagine #colson baker x reader #colson baker imagine #fan fiction

25 notes · View notes

jimindangshineun-blog · 5 years

Text

FAKE LOVE, LOST LOVE? (Part 2)

(Jikook Analysis)

Disclaimer: THIS IS ONLY MY THEORY NOT ALL OF MY ANALYSIS IS A FACT OR THE TRUTH. PLEASE DO NOT TAKE IT TOO SERIOUSLY. AND IF YOUR TOXIC AND DO NOT LIKE THE IDEA OF JIKOOK OR ROMANCE BETWEEN TWO MEN PLEASE STOP READING. IF ANYTHING I WRITE HERE MAY UPSET YOU I DID NOT DO IT TO PURPOSELY SPARK SOME LIGHT IN YOUR BOMB. I'M JUST SHARING WITH YOU SOME OF THE THINGS I HAVE NOTICED. ANYWAY ENJOY MY THEORY!!

So in my last analysis I've talked about TaeJin having a deal involving JiKook.

And the moment Jungkook got to the door safely the phone vanished to sand meaning the plan had failed so he had to make another one, see his expression?

In the choreography Jimin and Taehyung switched:

Then the moment Jungkook opened the door where he thought Jimin is supposed to be, he was met with a room filled with hat/coat stand wherein tae 'danced' with in his solo Singularity (damn that beautiful mv.):

Jungkook looked like he momentarily stopped by the door sign of shock:

How'd I know he hesitated? If he didn't stop momentarily by the time he opened the door, he would've been half way through the room after the dance break. (poor baby he didn't get to see his bae💔)

Tae's plan worked and prevented the two from meeting by switching places with Jimin.

Even if Tae Tae is the fallen angel/devil here he just wants what good for both Jungkook and Jimin that's why in the choreo when Jungkook looks like he's suffering and breaking down not know what he should do, Tae helped him to get on his feet. Jungkook didn't know Tae helped him, but Tae did because he looked at Jungkook as Jungkook leaned on him to stand up.

That's also why he keeps separating the two so that neither of them gets hurt.

Also, how do I know he thought it would lead him to his Chim Chim? In the teaser Magic Shop they all exchanged their fear for positive attitude in their case what makes them happy and in sense of comfort.

Jin gave something to the Magic Shop but it didn't show us what he got in exchange, maybe because he still don't know what it is.

Yoongi got his lollipop that girl Kookie gave him but they didn't show what he gave in exchange for it.

In exchange for snickers Jhope got his cake from Girl Jimin.

In exchange for a glass shard Namjoon got the hair tie the girl Tae dropped.

It also didn't show what tae gave but Tae got the bag girl Namjoon used to shoplift.

In exchange for a picture from his short film (Jimin's fear is to be Caught in a Lie which he already is) Jimin got the umbrella he used in highlight reel during the thunderstorm (where he got it is still a mystery) what we know is that it sheltered and protected him from the rain (ya'll know how involved our calico cat is with water since I Need U era. And it wasn't in a good way. Boi gets himself drowned couple times.)

So I'm thinking Jungkook symbolizes the umbrella since he protect Jimin, Jimin himself said that when he travel he wants it to be with Jungkook because it seems like he will protect him.

Only Jungkook got the Key because he didn't got anything from girl Yoongi and we all know that Jungkook's only sense of positivity is with Jimin (*cough* Satellite Jeon *cough*) and the key will lead him there.

Why do you think he always trouble himself with finding Chim Chim?

That's the first part I'll post the other parts one by one hohoho to keep things exciting😅💖 (Nah. It's just tumblr is a... And won't let me post as much as pics as I want.😋🙄😢)

Thank you for taking your time to read my theory!! Again, this are only the things I’ve noticed. NOT ALL OF I SAID HERE IS TRUE OR AM I CLAIMING IT TO BE A FACT. IT IS ONLY A MERE SUSPICION OR THEORY. DO NOT TAKE IT SERIOUSLY.

I PURPLE YOU!! 💜💜

#jikook #bts #jikookmin #kookmin #jikook analysis #analysis #theory #owl service #kookmin world #fake love lost love

31 notes · View notes

survivor-ingary · 3 years

Text

Episode 3 - "RIP tribe Jenkins we were too powerful" - Riley

The 3 tribes of Pendragon, Hatter, and Jenkins have been reorganized and condensed into 2 new Hatter and Pendragon Tribes. Tribal immunity is Scavenger Hunt.

The fact I have Brayden and Toph in my merged tribe boosts my serotonin. i have a feeling colin may be someone to keep an eye out for in the future now...

RIP tribe Jenkins we were too powerful. I guess we'll see how Pendragon pans out.

yall doin me dirty putting me with brayden i just hope that by some miracle me him anastasia and ellie can work together? like i still dont know if theyre plotting on my ass vdshibshj i know brayden told anastasia to take me out when this game started oop but lemme see if dis works. i hope riley follows the logic of the old tribe sticking together and thatll be 5 votes. im kinda obsessed with toph like since the beginning of the game he looks like someone i could totally play with so def wanna work on that relationship. ava and nya? i believe? lets say hello and work on those relationships as well. dis is a bit overwhelming but we shall see how it goes

uh... well... i am SCREWED. me and ginny were the only ones separated from the Jenkins tribe... RIP. 4 pendragons, 2 hatters, and 2 jenkins... the main things i see here are pendragon yoinking one of the hatters / jenkins and voting the other off... OR a 4-4 tie... OR they're gonna target one of me or ginny cuz none of us have gone to tribal council yet. this is really dicey, and I need to tread very, very carefully from hereon. (ALSO GINNY BARELY TALKS PLS I NEED YOUR HELP GIRL)

This swap actually turned out pretty amazing for me. I still have Keith and Moth who I worked semi-close with in the pre-swap. Additionally, I've met up with Colin and Babs. A little Raffy magic could keep me very safe on this tribe. I think Kenneth is super fun as he is a newbie AND active. He will definitely make it far in this game. I hope, at the very least, that I can be by his side to make that happen. However, I am wary he might just be making these strong social connections with everyone. As a final note, OG Pendragons have this tribe 4 to 8. That's both good and bad. Good because we have numbers. Bad because that may make people target me very early on just for being a part of it. So, I have decided that if I were to throw any of my OG Pendragons to the wolves it would be Jonathan as I haven't been able to connect with them as well as Keith and Moth. Other than that, I hope this tribe doesn't have to go to tribal all that often between now and the next swap/merge. These people are lovely.

I'm getting a bad feeling about this... Since most of my Jenkins tribemates are on the other tribe, I KNOW they're good cuz we just keep getting W's... so I think there is a good chance we might lose the challenge. I contributed a good amount, so I hope that the target won't be on me if ever we lose the challenge :( I really don't wanna go, and I wanna reunite with Dennis/Ellie and maybe Anastasia and get further in the game.

youtube

i worked hard on this confessional

Our tribe did our absolute best in this challenge. I have no idea who is getting targeted if we go to tribal as everyone is so quiet. All I know is that I want to keep Colin, Kenneth, and Keith close to me for this stage of the game. They are the only ones who consistently talk to me. Challenge results: Pendragon wins due to a 10% advantage, Hatter Tribe must go to tribal council the following day.

THANK GOD I FINALLY GET TO GO TO A TRIBAL, ITS BEEN TOO LONG!!!!

Look, before you go to tribal with a group of people it feels like there’s a barrier of game socialization because you haven’t been able to go to tribal with them. But leading up to tribal and after it, a whole new can of worms is available for game talk. Unfortunately it’s an extremely simple vote because Nya has ghosted all of us, but at least we still get to go to tribal so I can talk game with more people even if it’s only a small amount with this easy vote. But who knows, someone might decide to switch shit up!

And also I absolutely love this tribe (Minus Nya cause I haven’t met them) so I’m glad that I get to go forward with this group although I won’t be nearly as happy if we go to tribal again because as I said, I do enjoy this group of people a lot

Moth (Tumblr will only allow me 10 images so player banners stop now, whoops) I believe the only reason I will make it to the next round is because of Raffys advantage. I’d be so screwed otherwise

I like Babs. They got good vibes.

Also I’d kill to know how the other tribe reacted

Dennis in a perfect world i would try to not vote out nya but bdksksksoksks theyve done it to themselves. no need to make waves. unless someone else is secretly plotting on me i think this is about to be an easy tribal. damn one point. miss ellie had her name down on stuff that she didnt do. also overslept that first challenge is she purposey trying to sabotage and play the villain? who knowssss also ive broken my streak of never going to tribe tribal sigh

Toph So what’s happening, I can’t remember the last time I made a confession but the tea yall ?! Soooo the tribe swap happened and my gut was right soooo okay intuition work ! I feel like I really like everyone from the merge and nya as remained inactive since, after losing the challenge it seems like an easy vote but you can never be to safe, I have my little allinnce with Brayden and Ava which is wig and I really dig Ellie , Anastasia, and Dennis too, I’m gonna be so nervous if we have to go to tribal agian because it could be me ! I’m not to sure about Reilly but they seem nice ! I feel pretty good with Anastasia as well and feel we could rope her into an alliance easily, I’m just gonna due my best right now to play the middle, keep my head down and speak positively. I really need to find an idol or something even better just so I don’t have to worry as super much and just plain worry then lol. If anything I’m gonna stay loyal to brayden and Ava the most since there my day one homies. Brayden seems to be close with Anastasia which could definitely help in are favor of having the numbers on are side. But could mean he would easily cut me for her if needed, so that mean I need to get closer with Ava, just to gaurnetee my safety, I have to look out for me this game and only me, making sure the numbers are kn my side I’m constantly on the right side of the vote should help me strageticly float to the end and win my crown thank you very much. I’m also lowkey worried about alliance’s being made right now without me! Everyone seems to be online but my chats are a bit quite but this could be me overthinking things mmmhmm I’m not sure, we’ll anyways it was nice to vent to y’all. :)

Riley Nooooooo I can't believe we lost by just one point. Damn the Hatter tribe's secret bonus point boost >:(

Kenneth I am honestly in such a shock that we won that challenge... Raffy really came in clutch and helped us win AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! Now I don't have to worry about being randomly blindsided or targeted for at least a couple more days now pls I just hope we get lucky again and another swap happens where I would be on the right side of the numbers, all prepared for merge domination >:) Raffy Oof. I know the other tribe is MAD because I would be too. Like, we only won because of my advantage giving us a 1 POINT LEAD. That's crazy! Honestly, this works for me as I can still focus o n making strong social connections within this tribe. By the time we go to tribal, I will be so integrated with this tribe that voting me out would do a lot more short-term harm than long-term good. I want to see if Kenneth would start an alliance with me as that is someone I want to work closely with. In this alliance? I have no idea. I'll probably let Kenneth take the lead on that since I want him to feel like he is in charge. Dennis nothing is real

if i go tonight i would applaud it bc i am so sure nya is going. it would be a goop if the vote really wasnt nya but everyone is more or less trying to do the easy thing i think. i just hope she is okay and just too busy for dis.

some time has gone by and im just chilling. im not chilling because i feel safe, im chilling because i dont know what else to do. i cant be all game talk 24/7 because then im an outcast and would get targeted. besides the obvi alliances like a+b and maybe(?!?!??) an e(?!) in there, idk what alliances there are. like there has to be something but i dont have the picture yet. as yall know im not in any alliances in my current tribe besides i guess ellie who i fear is a saboteur lol and most likely working with a+b. a+b are such a double edged sword for me ugh. am i really in their best interests???????????????? am i really in ellies best interest???? do they know about her idol too?????????? likeeeee thats the issue. if im not really in their best interests then im the next to go after nya. i am probs very low if not the lowest on this tribe if dats true. i mean what if i really am in their best interests and theyre all genuinely trying to work with me? idk! if not then im next to go efuhijdhvbf and i fear im probably not.

i really like toph. taurus sun (in the 12th!) gemini everything else king. hes got social game on lock like who wouldnt wanna work with him ?! and hes a cutie ?! ?! ?! but i seen the chart -.- i know what hes doin. i think hes working with ellie. but he reaches out to me and probably others but i like our conversations. (but im sure everyone loves their conversations with toph!! hes great!!!!! friendly ol toph wont harm a fly ?!) i hope he likes me and sees i actually would wanna work with him above all the gorls and chooses me over them too.

ava also knows what theyre doing. saturnian legend. we barely talk but little short bits here and there. i hope its bc theyre busy but im sure ellie is talking to them more than me amongst others too. oop also possible alliance, brayden toph ava who all swapped together. so gotta keep that in mind. but yeah i dont really think im much of their priority esp if theyre on vacay they would hear a name and not stress too much if its mine bc we dont have ties like that.

riley and i talk here and there, had a lil chat today

someone once told me that i just look like someone you cant trust but you can :( sometimes :)

so yeah here i am having lots of thoughts over the last few days.

maybe im not super super invested just yet bc i feel like the rug is gonna get swept out right from under me again :))) also back on my bs telling people im a leo moon. i shouldnt weaponize astrology but hey.

#episodes

0 notes