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wondereads · 1 year

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My Opinions on Shadow and Bone Season 2

As an original reader of Shadow and Bone and Six of Crows, I wanted to share my opinion on the new season since it's been pretty contentious. Check under the cut since it's probably going to be pretty long and there will be spoilers

I love the title cards for each episode

In the same vein, the map method of moving from place to place is great

Mal is much more likable in the show than in the book. In particular, he's much more supportive of Alina

I have to think of Alina as a different person than from the books. In the books, she hated her power and the pressure that was put upon her, but in the show she thinks of it as her calling

As such, the ending makes sense for this version of Alina, but it does have a lot of implications going forward

Personally, I like the RaR ending where Alina loses her power because I feel that is a happy ending for book!Alina. However, I think it was clever to change the price to Mal, but in a different way

Everyone was shitting on Nikolai's casting, but not me. From day one, I said he'd be able to pull it off, and he did. Amazing casting choice!

Kirigan/The Darkling is just so...annoying? This may be biased because of my intense hatred for Darklina, but it seems like the show is going out of its way to make him sympathetic because he's popular, and it just irks me at every turn. He isn't even an intriguing villain at this point

Genya and David were lovely, but David dying out of nowhere? Why? I haven't read KoS, but in SaB and SoC he is alive and well. His death is jarring, unwelcome, and doesn't even do anything narratively or character-wise

Who is this random Tidemaker bitch who just...appeared? She isn't in the books, and every scene with her was boring as hell. Yes, even that major combat scene in the finale with the two others, which dragged out for way too long

Zoya was a queen, no complaints

But what the fuck was that sword plotline? They didn't even end up needing the sword?

Tolya and Tamar were amazing character-wise, great sibling energy

Tamar just one chance please

Now for the Crows...oh, the Crows

Freddy Carter absolutely destroyed it as Kaz, he was superb

Unfortunately, a lot of his backstory feels rushed, and while I loved the scene with Pekka, it didn't have nearly enough buildup considering it originally occurred in the latter half of CK

Inej was also great, but her and Kaz's relationship was also rushed. Almost all of the major scenes (most of which happen in CK!) between them have occurred, which leaves...what? for any potential spinoff

Inej left? WHY. That is the CULMINATION of her character arc, not halfway through! I think they're trying to play it safe in case they get cancelled, but I'd much rather have a loose thread never tied up than an unsatisfying end

Also the 'I will have you without armor or not at all' is set up as if Inej has an issue with the physical contact. She would never do that, considering she has similar issues herself. The original quote is because Kaz has the emotional intelligence of a stack of kruge

While I found Jesper and Wylan adorable, they were rushed as well. It felt very insta-lovey, especially considering they slept together before? How? Wylan is a recent addition to the Barrel when he meets the Crows

That piano scene made me cringe I'm sorry

Matthias' arc seems pretty on-point, and his conflict is pretty well-portrayed for something mostly psychological

Nina was wonderful, simply a delight

I do wish she hadn't said Matthias was her 'true love', they wouldn't really be at that point

Also, at the end, I wish Matthias hadn't seen Nina. It would definitely set up their whole conflict much better

A lot of CK development happened in this show, which a) ruins the whole slow-build that a lot of people loved about SoC and b) means either the potential spin-off will be lacking in emotional depth or they'll be bringing in other conflict (which I don't even want to think about)

That's pretty much all I have to say. I liked some parts, but I really don't like a lot of the changes. A lot of people have said that we knew it was going to be changed, to think of it like fanfiction, but there's a limit to how much can be changed before it is no longer an adaptation. With the amount of fundamental character things that are being changed, I am finding it harder and harder to enjoy this show. I have no issue with plot differences, but Netflix is speeding through these heavy-hitting, developmental scenes that completely change the context and, as such, change the characters. I worry for the SoC spin-off, if we do get it.

#shadow and bone #shadow and bone season 2 #sab #sab season 2 #six of crows #siege and storm #ruin and rising #crooked kingdom #opinion #tv show #analysis #adaptation

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theladyinwhite13 · 6 months

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Hi Sky, (waves)

It's your Grishaverse Secret Santa again. Hope you're doing well babes.

Firstly, I absolutely love Nina and Wylan so I totally understand that it's so hard to choose.

Is there anything specific you like about each character ? I know this is a really hard question to answer so I'm sorry in advance.

And tbh Wesper is my fave ship too (if I was forced to choose)

But I'd be happy to make something Wytthias related especially for you.

Again, anything specific you like about the beautiful crack ship of Wytthias ?

But I think my main question right now is do you mind if there are spoilers from the show ?

Final question, I promise, I'm so sorry, I feel like I'm interrogating you.

What's your favourite artist, album and song ?

You can give me your top 3 for each of that's easier.

Have a great day/night babes.

Again, so sorry for interrogating you.

Your Grishaverse Secret Santa 🥰

omg hiiii babe!!!

hmm okay so I’m actually gonna give some random backstory that you didn’t really ask for first cause this might make my answer make more sense. SO one of my best online friends val (@firebrand-witch) was the one who got me into soc!! first she had told my sister to read it and then I was just an innocent bystander who was making lots of comments without any real context HOWEVER I had seen a photo of wylan once with googles and I thought he was adorable and I decided he was my favorite character but I didn’t know his name yet so I just referred to him as “the one with the googles” to everyone!! then I remembered that at one point my favorite mutual had put a photo of wylan as her pfp and that MAYBE that was part of the reason I loved him? like subconsciously I associated them with each other? idk but aside from all of those reasons I’m always big on the characters that are kinda overlooked or underestimated (like I don’t mean by the fandom but by the other characters in the story) and as someone with a Complicated relationship with a lot of family members, I just really like his story line!!

BUT NINA!!! OMG NINA!!! I honestly don’t even know if I have a coherent reason why I love her BUT SHE’S AMAZING SHE’S HOT SHE’S SMART SHE’S POWERFUL SHE’S SHAIHSKQNSJQHDOQISKEJDJIWIEJDNEQOSM ALSO SHE IS BISEXUAL!!! AND I AM BISEXUAL!!! I LOVE HER!!!

I just realized that all my answers are gonna be SO LONG omg this post will be very long, this is me apologizing in advance <3

hmm well first off I love that my gf DOES NOT like wytthias!! that makes it very fun to me!! but also idk it’s just really cute and it’s fun to have crackships that don’t make a ton of sense and like matthias DOES kinda treat wylan adorably, i just CANNOT ignore that fact!!

honestly I definitely haven’t been doing as great at avoiding spoilers as I should have, I know a few things that are spoilers, but I honestly don’t mind!! I definitely plan to watch the show, but the list of things to watch and read grows each day, so you really don’t have to worry too much about spoilers <3

oooh okay so my top three favorite artists (in no particular order) are maisie peters, 5 seconds of summer, and taylor swift!! I also LOVE harry styles and sabrina carpenter and olivia rodrigo and conan gray!!

top three albums are (also in no particular order) speak now (taylor’s version), harry styles (2017) and 5sos5!!

favorite songs ever is a little harder, cause I think favorite songs have to have emotional value to me so top three songs ever are falling by harry styles, mirrorball by taylor swift, and only a lifetime by finneas!!

alright hopefully this isn’t the most obnoxiously long and random answer ever, but thank youuuu (also I would never feel like you were interrogating me!! I love your questions!!

#grishaverse xmas

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caspianxth · 1 year

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Hi, more thoughts, sorry<3

like yeah i agree that kaz absolutely has a heart, but i think those acts of kindness are mostly reserved for the people he loves, even if wylan is new, you can tell he's already warmed up to him, and i really dont think he'd do something kind just because for someone he feels indifferent to at best, much less someone like a king, and wait omg i just remembered he's friends with sturmhund i take it all back, he would indeed give it up for his friend. and yeah youre right about wesper it was adorable, but i dont know i needed the slow burnnnnn, but yeah given netflix penchant for with gay shit, it was necessary.

And about everything else, yeah it made sense but it was really rushed, especially in s2, and like i get that they have to make everything as fast as they can in case it gets cancelled but im sad about it, but i just really hope malina does meet in the meadow in the end, cause at this point, this show is uncharted territory and completely new and i am so excited for it, and i think that was just setting up for nikolai i bet they will make him all scary later, or at least i hope. But like MERZOST!!!!! ALINA WTF!!! i loved the shadow cut it, like alina i love that youre very powerful but pls try not to turn evil, and like shes heading exactly in the direction the darkling said she would go which is so scary and obvious in a good way i love it. And omg the darkling, like in the books its neither easy to not root for him except maybe when he dies, but here omg, you're telling me he actually felt something for alina and it was not just manipulation!!!

Also Ben Barnes makes it really hard to not be on his side, Alina is waay stronger than me, "Make me your villain", for you? anything, also very simp i loved it, so its okay they omitted a lot of his character and relationship with alina, as they basically made a new one which i like. and about the white hair thing, it was iconic!!! i needed it!! but its okay, also i think the darkling probably experienced some shit associated with his power, but probably never like that cause the only amplifier he used was his mother, and it wasnt until he used merzost he became unstoppable, and it was slowly taking its toll on him, so slowy at first that it might have even been a plot hole, cause later it starts eating him from the inside.

Anyways Ice Court Heist is coming omgomgomgomg im so excited, i cant wait to see something really serious happening with nikolai and alina, and the crows just, just, yeah. i love them. i love jesper and wylan (the characters not their relationship in this instance) so much i could die just thinking about them.

And i think that's all my thoughts until now, I apologize in advance because I WILL think about it more and I WILL bother you about it<3

sturmhond my beloved <3 best of the grishaverse men truly!! also re wesper I love them I'd die for them plus with a tv show I need smth to be happy about and kanej: glacial pace, helnik: slow burn bc of the whole hellgate sitch. like I need smth to be diggin!!! re nikolai, a nichevo'ya is not how he should look and tbh I don't like how they're doing it in the show if that's the angle they take but hopefully I'm wrong. I do think paddy gibson did kill as nikolai like when they let book nikolai pop out? slayed!!! also yeah alina like don't be doin that (merzost) baghra made u promise!! but it is a way better end than her losing all her power and I'm excited to see where they take that, I saw on twitter somewhere that leigh has lots of ideas where to take it if given more so we shall see <3 also w the darkling, like, ok so 1 he is ben barnes so that's a thing bc I've been crushing on him since prince caspian but also!! like the thing is like, he really did love her for a bit there! he had peace when she surprise kissed him!! that's the moment he went right back to in his defeat right before alina mcstabbed him (which he did deserve btw). like the heartbreaking part w darklina is they really could've had it if he'd trusted her!!! but he didn't!!! and that was his greatest weakness!!!!! I do like malina but like, for me it's nikolina >>>>>>>>>> malina sorry. book or show nikolai is just *chef's kiss*. but also re nikolai, zoyalai >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>nikolina. so like, the setup there is also *chef's kiss*.

#asks #kurtcobainsgreencardigan

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lilisouless · 3 years

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Nina: Just admit that as a fact, if the six got into a fight with each other , i´d win and without breaking a sweat

Jesper: I won't argue with that, the real deal is "who would lose?"

Inej: That´s easy, Matthias. No offence

Wylan: Don't wor-wait, did you say Matthias?

Matthias: Why me? I am bigger than all you and Brekker is the one with a limp

Inej: You don't have knives

Jesper: I am better shooting

Kaz: I´ve kick your ass before despite the limp

Nina: I don't ever need my powers, all i need is bat my eyelashes and you are done "blows kiss"

Matthias: Alright, but what about Wylan?

Jesper grabbing Wylan´s face: Please! you wouldn't trow a punch against him ,specially no if he does the puppy eyes at you

Nina: You would shoot yourself before do anything to hurt Wylan, you are a softie

Matthias: I am not! and what you are saying is ridiculous

Wylan: Yeah, he is big (Jes, stop squishing my face!) and i am scrawny and clumsy

Matthias: Don't say that...

Kaz: See? a softie

Matthias: We are talking about an hypotetical scenario! I wouldn't beat Wylan but i could if i wanted to

Jesper: Oh yeah? prove it. Imagine you don't like Wylan and say something mean to him.You can lie because this is "hypotetical"

Matthias: I can do that

Kaz: Go ahead

Matthias: you...are...you look like...your clothing is...

Wylan: Just say i am ugly or something to end this argument

Matthias: I got it! your parter choice is awful

Wylan:...

Jesper:...

Matthias:...

Matthias:...But if it makes you happy thats what matter, DAMMIT!

#six of crows shit post #six of crows #six of crows incorrect quotes #crooked kingdom #kaz brekker #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #nina zenik #inej ghafa #matthias helvar #helnik #wesper #leigh bardugo #the crows

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iheardarumorthings · 3 years

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Can you do a kaz brekker x reader where reader has like witch powers and is very powerful and the crows get cursed and she uncurses them and kaz just fall more in love with her?

NO MERCY

Hi! I hope you like this! I kinda took it into another direction, but I still hope that this is ok! Also, it's short but I think I ended it alright. Thank you so much for requesting <33

Warnings: None, I think.

It would be a blatant lie to say that you didn’t see this coming.

A very, very blatant lie.

In fact, you were in your loft… watching the whole thing unfold. Laughing at how they all clucked like chickens due to another witch’s curse. They had it coming, after all. You had told Kaz and Jesper not to go there. But they did it anyway.

And they brought Inej, Wylan, Matthias and Nina along with them.

So much for ‘criminal prodigy’, but you couldn’t deny that it had brought you great happiness to see him squirm for a bit knowing that you were right and he was wrong.

There was a knock at your door. You knew who it was.

There was Kaz and the rest of them. You brought the four unsuspecting ones in first, treating them, making sure that there were no lingering side effects of the curse that the other witch put on them. Afterward, you gave them water and food and told them to sit down and make themselves at home.

Your lip curled upward, forming a smirk at the sight of the two culprits standing in your kitchen. “Now,” you said. “How did you two get like this.”

~*~

Kaz rolled his eyes; he knew that you knew exactly what happened. You were just making them suffer.

But he wanted to smile. You weren’t taking any pity upon him, besides, if it hurt it would be a whole different story.

His heart warmed.

Jesper clucked.

“Fine,” you huffed, pretending to be annoyed. “I’ll let you out. You’re the one that doesn’t know better.”

Once Jesper was free, you wished you didn’t let him out, “Well excuse me for trying to make a new friend. I’m going back for tea next Sunday.”

Kaz looked at him, and then at you.

“Get out of my kitchen, Jesper,” you said after a beat of silence. “As for you,” you spoke once he left, “what the hell were you thinking? You could’ve gotten hurt. Do you realize what could’ve happened if that witch was any more powerful? What they could’ve done to you?”

Kaz slumped down, heart becoming a little less icy each second, and tried to talk but only a cluck came out. He gestured to himself, hand going up and down while the other was leaning on his cane, the crow’s head pointed toward you.

“I’m not letting you out.”

Kaz paused.

“I know that it won’t do anything to your body; you just have to face the consequences of what you have done for the next hour and a half.”

He loved you. You loved him. You wouldn’t go through with it.

But you did, and he let you get away with it.

Because he was the one that taught you the concept of no mercy.

… and because he loved you.

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #six of crows x reader #six of crows #grishaverse #kazbrekker #kaz brekker x you

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thedelusionreaderbitch · 3 years

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Kaz Brekker x alkemi Reader - Strange Truths

A/n: This was so fun to do and me being an Alkemi really was happy with this request! Thank you! I'm so sorry it took so long though!

Warnings: None? Needles?

Request: ok ok so i have an idea- a kaz brekker x alkemi reader where kaz accidentally drinks one of the reader's newest chemical (prolly cause jesper slipped it into his drink) and it makes him super flustered and vv talkative and the reader has to keep him in their lab until they can finish the antidote and kaz tells the reader he likes them right after he takes the antidote so the reader realizes he's actually serious-

I do not own six of crows or shadow and bone or you!

Most people underestimated alkemi's but once they did it once they would not do it again. Kaz Brekker knew that alkemi's could just be as dangerous as a squaller all the way to a shadow or sun summoner if they were powerful enough. To be fair, very few were that powerful but most could kill you slowly and far worse than a heartrender so...

But you were a very powerful alkmei- one of the most powerful to ever live and that was why you are part of the crows. You can fight just fine, but the dregs had seemed to be getting very creative with their ways of killing to getting information and this was all thanks to you.

Though not all appreciated your talents.

Nina has grown up thinking that the alkemi's were weak was a part of those few, Inej just didn't understand you, Jesper understood but was still trying to come to terms with his own Grisha powers, Wylan thought you were amazing and Matthias was just flat out scared.

But that all changed when one day you poisoned a whole army.

Oh, Kaz was just... Happy? No one really knew, but sometimes he just seemed a bit more satisfied about how things were going with you around. Unfortunately for you, that meant he had to spend a bit more time around you trying to come up with more ideas. And that would have been just fine if it weren't for the fact that you were falling helplessly in love with Dirtyhands.

Ya, fuck.

Lately, you had been conjuring up something new in that lab of yours in the basement of the Slat. It was almost like a truth potion but not quite, it was to make it easier to get information out of its victims but not enough to notice.

Officially it was finished and you were going to go tell Kaz but you realized today everyone was going to be at the Crow Club. Just your luck that you hated socializing.

You sigh but you quickly grab the elixir and start running to the Club. Being late to a meeting was never really your foreté.

Finding finally the Crows even with the sea of people around you spot them when you meet Kaz's eyes. Of course, you had to meet his eyes. You go and sit down beside him as everyone had already decided on their drinks.

"Y/n's getting them this time since she's late!" Jesper grins in triumph as you just roll your eyes. It doesn't matter you guessed he was almost always going to be the one late so you figured it wouldn't matter if you had done it this one time. Besides, it would give the sharpshooter (and his boyfriend) a break for once.

Getting up from your seat you walk towards the bar and ask for everyone's drinks. He hands you them and you talk to the bartender as you walk back towards the group.

"I'm your waiter for one time only, don't get used to it."

Kaz just clears his throat and starts talking about a plan that's really in reality just a decoy because of Inej's intel there would be Dime Lion spies in the Crow Club today.

And why not take that to your advantage?

Suddenly Kaz stops talking and you lift an eyebrow at him. He just shakes his head and the others just shrug their shoulders and start a different conversation.

For a bit, you do engage in conversation with the other Crows but Kaz just seemed different? Like he was trying not to burst out talking or something?

"Dirtyhands, you good?"

Instantly his face flushed a bright pink and he stutters out;

"Ya-ya fine. Totally fine, everything's good. Go back to whatever I guess. Just leave me alone and do your work you shouldn't have even asked, so can you please-" He cut himself off and flushed (what you didn't even know was possible) red even brighter.

What the- You always called Kaz Dirtyhands as more as a nickname than a mean term almost like a term of endearment. Although he didn't know that he never had even blinked when you used the little nickname more than necessary so why was he now?

Also to add to that fact, was that you really never called him Kaz. It was mostly to keep yourself in check so you didn't get used to him too much. It was more like reminding yourself that you both weren't on a first-name basis even if you already were.

Narrowing your eyes, you can see that his pupils are slightly dilated and that he's bitting down on his tongue really hard to stop himself from talking. This wasn't just Kaz Brekker flustered, there was something else going on here. And you had to figure at fast before the Dime Lion spies did, or if they already had.

"Brekker, I need to you answer me honestly okay?" You lower your voice and you soften your tone like you would with your targets to get information out of them. You didn't like doing it, but it was the price to pay for his safety.

He just bobs his head up and down trying not to say anything.

"What have you ingested today?"

"Just the drink. Not anything else, being that I forg-" He cuts himself off from his whisper-rant covering his hand over his mouth.

"You haven't eaten today!" Accidently you raise your voice and the anger and concern shine through your usual stone-cold tone.

Kaz widens his eyes and gives you a look to shut the fuck up. He was still the Bastard of The Barrel after all.

Wait, now that you think about it...

You reach into your pocket for your newly brewed elixir and when you take it out it almost confirms it for you.

The lid is open.

Oh, fuck maybe it's better not to cure Kaz because you might just die after this.

It all made sense now though; talkative, flustered, overused & exaggerated facial expressions, looseness of the tongue. Those were all symptoms and you hadn't even noticed.

Well... At least you knew it worked and it was effective. Very effective... Fucking hell Kaz really is going to kill you now.

Grabbing onto his coat sleeve (being extra careful not to touch his skin) you drag him out of the crow club away from the prying eyes of everyone and the shouts of 'what the hell!' From your friends.

Quickly you drag him to the basement of the Slat where all your potions, bombs, machines, elixirs, poisons and most importantly supplies are.

"You can sit there." You point at a chair in the back of the room that basically had a view of everything.

"You better make me an antidote or I swear to-"

You cut him off before he says something he'll regret later. "Go sit your ass down Dirtyhands and let the real Grisha do their magic."

He flushes again and walks over to the chair but not without muttering under his breath how Grisha cannot do magic. And how their abilities work and etc.

By the saints! Now you really didn't want to reverse that chemical elixir, he just sounded really cute. But who the fuck are you kidding? This is Kaz Brekker we're talking about and you just thought of him as cute.

Welp, this is getting interesting.

Quickly you mix some ingredients together trying really hard to go as swift as you can. No one could see Brekker like this it would kill his reputation.

You look down at the antidote and you curse under your breath. This was going to need a needle. Oh fuck, you might as well just die right there.

Hurrying over to your cabinet you quickly go through the vials wondering what size you would need till you found the perfect one. It wasn't very big, and because it was fabrikator made he wouldn't even feel a pinch. But at the same time, it would hold your elixir even if it was a very tiny vial.

"Brekker, your gonna have to put your arm up for me."

You don't turn around knowing that this probably could be your death right here in your lab. At least Kaz Brekker will kill you so at least that's memorable. You sigh, Kaz Brekkers Alkemi was killed by Dirtyhands himself.

"Why?" Most of the time Kaz would just raise his eyebrow at you but because of the fun chemicals that he had in his body that was not the case.

"You might want to roll up your sleeve as well." You say nervously turning around so the needle was visible.

"Because I'm going to have to use a syringe."

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?!"

You slowly walk over and you shake your head.

"Sleeves up."

Kas just grumbles while putting his sleeves up you can tell he's uncomfortable. Now looking back at it you didn't really know how many barrel rats have had needles before, and if they did it probably wasn't good.

"What's your favourite colour?"

He snaps his eyes to meet yours and that's the moment you press the needle in his skin.

As you thought before he didn't flinch but he looked like he wanted to kill you with that stare but his eyes seem to soften with your worried stance.

"It didn't hurt did it?"

Kaz just shakes his head and you sigh in relief. "There shouldn't be any after-effects but I might just check in to see just in case."

He's almost out the door when he stops just at the entrance.

"Your eyes."

You whip your head around to meet his dark eyes.

"What?"

Slowly he comes away from the door frame advancing on you and he shakily takes off a glove and presses his hand against your cheek.

"You asked me what my favourite colour was."

You have convinced yourself that at this moment you have stopped breathing. Nothing else matters but you two of you in this room. The feeling of his hand on your cheek sends butterflies everywhere in you. And you can't stop to think about how beautiful and terrifying those brown nearly black eyes are.

"Boss!" There's a shout from upstairs and he quickly pulls away putting his glove back on.

"So I'll be seeing you around Brekker?"

He rolls his eyes. "You know you can call me Kaz right?"

You laugh as you herd him through the door knowing that he has business to attend to.

"But I think you much prefer when I call you Dirtyhands."

The blush spreads across his cheeks albeit not as strong this time but at least you know it's not from one of your elixirs.

"Only you Y/n only you."

Words 1799

-thedelusionreaderbitch

Shadow and bone taglist: @kaqua @rika90 @thefandomplace @musical-theatre-obsessed-dumbass @gallysonegoodlung @navs-bhat @sumsebien @dontjudgeabookbythecover

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persephones-wren · 3 years

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heyy! Could I request a Kaz brekker and reader fic where shes really sensitive and kind and the opposite of him and they're dating but he seems to be spending more time with inej planning a heist and reader gets jealous and during the heist she saved inej from a bullet, getting hurt in the process and tells Kaz,in a delirious state, that shes happy she saved inej for him and everyone helps him plan a picnic for her while shes healing and suprises her? Its quite a long request but it would be wonderful if you wrote it!! thanks💕

Ends of the Earth (Kaz Brekker x Reader)

Hope you enjoy reading! I had a lot of fun writing it :)

Warnings: reader gets shot, that's about it?

Genre: Angst to (minimal) Fluff

Word Count: 2126

You’re not sure how you could have ever expected him to return what you felt for him.

You and Kaz were essentially opposites- he was a hardened criminal, you were more of a person who just ran with the wrong people. He was mean and commanding, you were sweet and endearing. Where he’d kill people with no hesitation, you’d probably be torn over it for the rest of your life.

Though the Barrel seemed to have no room for someone as kind as you, you had found yourself to fit fine along with rest as someone to watch over the rest. Your skill of memorization was appreciated when Kaz needed to reflect back on a certain part of the plan, and besides, having someone counteract his cruelty was appreciated by the others.

Sometimes, like now, it was hard to be a part of the Crows. Watching Inej stand by his side, watching them work together like well-oiled parts of the same machine, it was bittersweet. You couldn’t help the jealousy that overtook you, but kindness was ingrained in you. You couldn’t hate him. You couldn’t hate Inej.

“So we’ll take them out there. Inej, I’m going to need your backup here.” His voice snaps you back into the moment.

“Got it.” She nods.

“Before then, though, You’ll be stationed here. Y/N, I’m going to want you to stick close to her. She can fight for the both of you in case anything goes wrong.”

You’re useless, you berate yourself. You’re going to need Inej to save you. Maybe if you could defend yourself the way she could, he’d like you more.

“Understood.”

“That should wrap everything up. We’ll meet at the usual spot tonight. We’ll take transport there and sneak in. From there, everything should go according to plan.”

…

Night quickly falls, and you’re all gathered.

“To reiterate, I’m going to go grab the paintings. Inej and Y/N, stick together and communicate when it’s safe. Jesper, you’re going to shoot out the lights when signaled, and make sure that carriages are ready when it’s time. Wylan, wait it out here with him. If all goes to shit, blow this place. Clear?”

Echoes of agreement echo from around you, and you nod. This should be an easy heist.

“Y/N, c’mon. Let’s head over this way.”

Inej takes your wrist and leads you to the edge of the building. Her stare is intimidating as she surveys the building, before turning back to you.

“I’ll scale the walls, and then I’ll use the rope to pull you up. We can wait on the top of the building for a bit, before slipping in through a window. That okay?”

Damn her for even being considerate to you. And you still have the nerve to be jealous over her. Her and Kaz are so similar- they’d be perfect for each other.

You still can’t find it in your heart to be completely happy about that.

“Y/N? You alright?”

“Huh?” you snap out of your reverie, and give a bashful smile. “Yeah, that’s good. I’ll spot you. Hopefully I’ll be able to get up there…”

Inej throws you a reassuring smile back. “You’ll be okay.”

You watch with awe as she scales the building with no issue, truly living up to the nickname she had been given. She’s nearly invisible as she reaches the top, you note. She’s incredible.

You wait on the ground patiently as Inej lowers the rope, before you hear voices.

You stare up at her, wide-eyed, before running and diving behind a tree.

“The wine good tonight?”

It’s a guard. Your heart rate quickens, and bring a hand over your mouth. Quiet your breathing. If they catch you, you’re dead, and you’ll be the dead weight of this mission.

“I don’t know, haven’t had a drink yet. Maybe once everyone’s gone. Ha! The Stadwatch won't penalize me if there’s no guests to guard!”

“Yeah, that’s the spirit! All we have to make sure is no scum tries to steal the painting.”

“Like anybody would dare show their face here.”

The other guard laughs, and you wait with baited breath as they finally round the corner.

You check both directions, before you quietly slip out.

“Inej?” you’re quiet and slightly shaken. Death and capture was always palpable on these missions, but it had come swinging at you quicker than you had expected. “You still there?”

“Yeah,” her voice comes from above. “I’m here. You’re fast on your feet. Good thinking.”

“Thank you, and thank you for waiting.”

The rope drops down for the second time, and you take a hold of it, pulling yourself up with a bit of her help. Your hands finally grasp the ledge of the building, and Inej extends one of her hands to help pull you up. You’re hauled onto the rooftop, and though it’s a bit ungraceful, you’re okay.

“Thanks,” you whisper.

“No problem.”

Your eyes are both directed on the walkways below.

“You scout out for guards down there, and I’ll check for guards in the windows? We should signal to Kaz soon.”

“Sure.”

You keep a careful eye down below, hearing Inej scurry to different window points. You watch as she slips to one of them, peering through.

“Just our luck,” she mutters cheerfully. “This window’s fine. Let’s open it. I’ll go first, but send a flare for Kaz. I’m going to need that window open as soon as that flare goes up.”

“Alright.” You take a deep breath, before shooting the flare off. Inej thrusts open the window and pulls you in behind her.

You watch a figure walk past the doorway. That should be Kaz, and now, he should be slipping past you to go to the next doorway to take the painting-

“To the roof again, now-” Inej says, and starts to step out behind the boxes, and the figure turns back.

That’s not Kaz.

A click.

She’s going to be shot.

You’re acting on pure impulse and nerves when you shove her aside, and the bullet pierces through your shoulder. You crumble, and Inej tries to keep you from completely collapsing.

You grit your teeth. You’re trying not to let tears stream down your face, but everything hurts and Inej is over you and she’s saying something but you can’t hear her-

You try to force yourself to sit up, and you see a cane poised to hit the guard over the head. You turn away, and thank your murky hearing that you can’t hear the scream that emits from the guard.

Kaz.

“What happened?” His voice is losing it’s cool quickly.

“She was shot by the guard, I don’t think she’s quite registering it-” Inej’s voice is more panicked, but she forces herself to be analytical. “She’s going to need treatment, and quickly.”

“Okay,” he breathes in sharply. “Okay. Go down the hall, grab the paintings, and meet Jesper by the transportation. I’ll get her out.”

“Okay.”

Inej dashes down the hall, and he takes in your state. Your pupils are blown wide, and you’re trying not to cry, but it hurts.

“Kaz,” you breathe out. “Thank the Saints. Is Inej okay?”

He frowns at that. What about Inej? Inej was fine, you’d been shot. Did you have no self-preservation instincts?

“Inej is fine,” he mutters.

“That’s good,” you sigh out. “That’s good. I don’t quite think I’m going to make it out here alive, so just in case I don’t, I love you. Though I’m glad she’s okay, for your sake.”

His frown deepens. “I’m sorry? For my sake?”

“You’re in love with her. She with you. You guys can live your happy ending. As happy as the Barrel can get, anyway.” Your smile is slightly delirious, and he knows you’re not thinking rationally.

“Stop talking.”

“I’m sorry, are you mad at me? Please don’t be mad at me. I didn’t-” you cough, “think I’d die, but if it’s for you and Inej, then I think it’s worth it.”

“Nobody is worth your life,” he nearly yells. “You’re not going to die, Y/N. I won’t allow it.”

“Please, just let me stay here. They’re going to find you if you don’t.” “I don’t care.”

He’s pulling off his jacket and carefully using it as a tourniquet for your shoulder.

“Can you walk?”

“Kaz, please-”

“Can you walk.” It’s a statement, maybe a threat.

“Maybe- maybe with a bit of support,” your words are weak. You’re running out of time. “The world looks sideways, though- face it, Kaz, I’m not going to make it. I don’t want to be dead weight, your touch aver-”

“I’m not going to combust into fucking flames if you lean on me! Goddamnit, let me help you!”

His anger startles you. You hold back more tears as he pulls you up. At least he took the care to pull you up by the other arm. “Okay.”

The world is spinning and his face isn’t clear, and time seems to speed up as both of you go through the hallways, finally meeting Jesper and Inej in the courtyard.

“Bloody hell,” Jesper mutters.

“Go. To the White Rose. Nina should be able to do something.” Kaz leaves no room for argument. You’re passed out now, and he’s almost thankful you can’t feel anything as the carriage rushes through harsh weather and bumpy roads.

I don’t quite think I’m going to make it out here alive, so just in case I don’t, I love you.

Were you that oblivious? Did you think he was in love with Inej? How could you be so blind?

How could you sacrifice yourself so he could live what you thought to be a “happy ending”?

You didn’t plan it, did you?

He carefully takes off one of his gloves, hovering his hand over your forehead.

You’re still warm.

He doesn’t believe in Saints, but now, he’s almost praying to them that you’ll be okay.

Please be okay.

...

Inej glances at Kaz, standing over her in the White Rose.

She’s been out for days at this point. Nina could only do so much, with whatever corpse-like power she’d gained. The rest had to be natural healing.

Inej clears her throat. “She’d go to the ends of the world for you. For your happiness.” Kaz remains still.

“Don’t make her do so again.”

Your eyes flutter open, the brightness of the room nearly rendering you blind.

Your shoulder hurts like a bitch, but besides that, you’re alive.

Happiness and heaviness fill your heart at once. You’re alive, you’re okay. What had you said to Kaz in your state?

Hopefully nothing stupid.

“You’re awake. I’m glad.”

Kaz’s voice comes from the edge of the room. He’s leaning on the wall, cane in hand. When was Kaz upfront with his emotions?

“Yeah. How long was I out for?”

“A couple of days.”

“Days?” Your voice cracks. “I didn’t think it was that bad.”

That’s a lie. You thought you were dead, for sure. He doesn’t have to know that.

“...Right.” He’s skeptical, but pushes himself off the wall and makes his way over to you. “This may be a bit early, but would you want to go for a walk?”

“Sure.” Is he kicking you out of the Crows? Why would he want to go on a walk just after you’ve woken up? You’re screwed.

He waits for you to stand, and then you’re both walking side by side, into the gardens of the courtyard. He doesn’t say anything, just leads you to a small place under an apple tree. A picnic blanket is spread out, with a small basket laying on top of it.

Your eyes widen in surprise, and a brief smile flashes across his face. “Nice, isn’t it?”

“Kaz- what is all of this?”

“You said you loved me.”

Horror paints across your face, and you lower your head in shame. “I’m sorry, I didn’t, I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry, I know you love Inej, that- was a bit unprompted of me, I’m sorry-”

He blinks at your rushed words. “Y/N. I’m not in love with Inej. She’s part of the Crows, as are you. Though- if you mean it,” he clears his throat, “that you love me- then take this as a surprise first date.”

Your expression morphs into a shy smile. He’s probably not ready to say it back. It doesn’t matter. He feels the same way.

“Happy first date, then.”

You’re both talking and eating, small smiles on both of your faces, a stark contrast to the harsh atmosphere of Ketterdam. It doesn’t matter to him. You’re alive, you’re safe, and you’re with him. You’d go to the end of the world for him. He’d do the same for you.

He loves you.

#shadow and bone #grishaverse #six of crows #six of crows x reader #soc kaz #soc x reader #kaz x reader #kaz brekker x reader #kaz rietveld #kaz brekker imagine #thank you for the request!#request

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incorrectquotesconaisseur · 3 years

Text

SO GUYSSSS I JUST FINISHED READING RULE OF WOLVES AND WHAT THE HELL???? I am a MESS

(so here are my thoughts that I had while reading it)

❗❗RULE OF WOLVES SPOILERS❗❗

• Lol Nikolai has a horse named Punchline, I love him so much

• Sankta Zoya Y E S

• Nina is sooo badass I love her - Brum needs to die btw

• Fjerda is a little shit

• "If not for Nina, their blessed termite eating at the heart of Fjerda’s government" - did I mention I love Nina?????

• Nikolai is a freaking mastermind and I love him

• OMG THEY HAVE AN ANTIDOTE FOR PAREM NOW???? HELL YEAH take THAT Fjerda!!!!

• Nina adopting Kaz's mindset when back at the Ice Court is what I live for

• UGH THE APPARAT

• Nikolai is soooo in love with Zoya I AM GOING CRAZY

• Zoya's "you forget that in Kerch greed is a virtue" gave me MAJOR Kaz vibes... I miss my crow babies

• Maybe it's an unpopular opinion, but I don't really like Ehri

• ZOYALAI NATION, HOW ARE WE??? ARE WE CRYING?

• I just REALLY love the found family trope and seeing everyone gathered in Zoya's rooms and Zoya curled up on the couch next to Genya I just AAAAAAAAA

• I absolutely adore the whole concept of the Darkling's prison and the CONSTANT sunlight he has to face HA - Alina vibes

• OMG "bring me Alina Starkov" WHAT THE FUCK I have literal chills ESPECIALLY after seeing the S&B trailer:)

• Nina being so confident in everything she learned from the Crows gives me so much serotonin I WANT MY BABIESSS

• Oh my god... I like prince Rasmus, he gives me major Nikolai vibes

• I draw immense satisfaction from Kaz and Zoya using "podge" as their preferred curse word :))))

• NIKOLAI CAN SEPARATE HIMSELF FROM HIS DEMON???? King behavior

• HOLY SHIT ALINA AGREED TO THE MEETING here we go again, fam

• I'm seeing Nikolai talking a lot about accepting his death and being undisturbed by the prospect of it and it feeaks me out - if he dies, I die with him

• Random, but: they need to get the thorn stuff from the Order of Sankt Feliks or whatever, right??? Maybe they have to steal it... and they would require expertise... MAYBE SOME CROWS PLS???????? (I am such a clown)

• Okay wait... so the letters that prove Nikolai is a bastard are in the druskelle sector... PLEASE TELL ME NINA HAS TO BREAK IN THE ICE COURT the fact that she is back there ALONE makes my heart clench so hard... I MISS MY CROWS

• FUCK ALINA SHOWED UP (also Oncat apparently and now I want to cry about Harshaw again)... AND MAL I can't take this I AM HYPERVENTILATING

• I AM LEGIT ON THE FLOOR Yuri is still there FINALLY understanding that the Darkling is evil AND NOW MY MAIN MAN GOT HIS POWERS BACK oh, I love the chaos

• NIKOLAI FUCKING CARRIES ZOYA'S RIBBON IN HIS POCKET nobody fucking touch me

• THE WEDDING IS FOR GENYA AND DAVID????? I AM SOOO CONFUSED what the heck

• Nikoali is the most fucking badass amazing cunning freakishly intelligent idiot I have ever seen in my entire life, my love for him is immesurable, I cannot put into words just how awesome his awesomeness is TAKE THAT MAKHI YOU BITCH

• OH HELL NO the demon is trying to escape SMACK THAT BITCH NIKOLAI BABY

• Oh wow, Rasmus is crazyyyy af he isn't anything like Nikolai my perfect boi SORRY

• OMG Nikolai's dad us a good guy??? I feel so sorry for him... SO NIKOLAI WAS RIGHT TO BE A ROMANTIC huh

• FUCKING HELL again with the nichevo’ya???? Darkling bby, what the HECK

• Nononononooo NO NOOOO NOT DAVID WHAT THE FUCK LEIGH

• "This is what love does" one of the most powerful quotes tbh

• Wait... they want to???? STEAL??? titanium from the Kerch??? .... DOES THIS MEAN.... C R O W S?????

• Okay but... the Darkling's POV? POWER MOVE I love it!!! And the fact that he uses Aleksander as his name with zero reticence now is just *chef's kiss*

• I'm sorry but... I don't like Mayu's chapters I AM SO SORRY I DON'T

• Nina is my badass queen STEP ASIDE PEASANTS

• All these SoC Easter Eggs and mentions are driving me insane

• Idk why but imagining the Darkling drinking beer is sooo funny to me

• I AM LOSING MY SHIT they are in Ketterdam KETTERDAM does that mean ....DOES THAT MEAN ....I better see my Crows or I am throwing hands

• The Zoyalai conversations in this book are KILLING me

• OH MY FUCKING GOD so Kaz took the Emerald Palace over and renamed it THE SILVER SIX???? LIKE???? I AM LEGIT CRYING???

• Ummm...Zoya, honey, WHY do you want to VOLUNTARILY stay away from Nikolai, HUH?????

• THE ONLY REASON HE AGREED TO HELP NIKOLAI WAS BECAUSE HE GUARANTEES INEJ'S PROTECTION if that's not L O V E idk what is YAAASSS KANEJ

• FUCKING SHIT JESPER!!!! IT'S JESPER!!!! WYLAN!!!! I AM FAINTING MY BABIESS

• The Crows' banter is WHAT I LIVE FOR

• Kaz is the most cold, badass and calculating motherfucker on the planet, I love him soooo much

• No NO NOO JORAN IS THE ONE WHO KILLED MATTHIAS????? HOLY SHIT I am sooo scared LEIGH WHYYYY

• Kaz's reaction to Nikolai's demon is legit the funniest shit ever

• Kaz and Nikolai are bffs - THIS IS HEADCANON LEAVE ME BE

• Queen Leyti has severely disappointed me

• I am having waayyyyy too much fun reading about the Darkling among blindly faithful monks - this is the stuff of sitcoms

• (I know the Crows only had a cameo and they won't pop up again, but I can't help desperation wanting to see Nina reunite with them and PLEASE GIVE ME INEJ!!!)

• Honestly, it's pretty cool getting to have a look in the Darkling's head - it's SUPER fucked up

• OOOOO the blight vs the Darkling = the only confrontation I want to see

• FATHER AND SON REUNION

• I don't care much for Hanne x Nina, but I have to admit that they make a very cute couple

• FUCK THEY BROKE STURMHOND'S BLOCADE FUUUUCK

• WAIT NO it was their plan all along HOLY SHIT electricity RULEZZZZ who knew physics would prove THIS useful???

• UUUGHH FUCK THE APPARAT I am so sick of this guy - Zoya was right, they should have killed him

• I am really pissed at the Darkling- YOU FUCKING ACKNOWLEDGE HOW MUCH RAVKA NEEDS YOUR HELP, YOU SEE NIKOLAI'S BRAVERY, YOU KNOW YOU CAM HELP, AND YOU DO NOTHING??? BRO WHAT THE FUCK

• HELL YEAH ZOYA IS A DRAGOOON fuck some shit up sweety Y E S

• MY SKIN IS CLEARED AND MY CROPS ARE WATERED BY THE DARKLING RAISING A MOB TO CALL ZOYA "SANKTA"

• Also... the Darkling winking at Nikolai? FLERT

• WHAT THE FUCK???? HANNE DIED??? holy shit, why???? WHY CAN'T NINA BE HAPPY???????

• Nikolai is an absolute SAVAGE in a debate

• Idk what to think abt Rasmus... he was kinda badass for standing up against Brum

• SOLDIER. SUMMONER. SAINT. slap me and call me a hoe I SCREAMED WHEN I READ THAT

• ZOYA AS QUEEN, SIGN ME THE FUCK UP

• Okay I stan the Darkling again

• ZOYALAI IS CANON I REPEAT ZOYALAI IS CANONNNNN

• OKAY WOW HANNE IS A FULL-ON BADASS yep, I stan

• I really???? LOVE??? this ending for the Darkling??? Idk but it is VERY fitting

• ALINA!!!! AT ZOYA'S!!!! CORONATION!!!! my life is complete

• FUCKING SHIT INEJ!!! INEEEEEJJJJ my queen my love AAAAAA

• The conversation at the end between Alina, Zoya and Genya DESTROYED ME

• STEALING THE HEART OF SANKT FELIKS yes please BRING THE CROWS BACK!!!!! I NEED ANOTHER CROWS SEQUEL!!!!

• I fainted, I ascended, I DIED at the last page

• NOW I NEED A SEQUEL!!!

• Leigh, you ARE goig to write what happens next, right? RIGHT? RIGHT????

#rule of wolves #row #row spoilers #rule of wolves spoilers #leigh bardugo

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pink-surftable · 3 years

Text

Initials (Pt. 5) | Kaz Brekker

kaz brekker x fem!reader

ps: english is not my first language so if there are some gramatical mistakes i would love if you pointed them out so i can improve.

omg here it is!!!! the last chapter!! once again thank you to everyone who likes and coments i love you so much <3 what a journey it has been lol

warnings: i think kaz is very soft in this one but fuck it we all need soft kaz once in a while.

part 4

summary: after a mission goes wrong kaz does everything in his power to save you.

——————————————————————————

You saw Kaz jumping right into action trying to get you out of your restraints while Inej was desperately trying to hold down Pekka. Y/N felt a wave of relief washing over her.

Her friends were there. Her family.

“Well, well, well it was quite the party in here” Jesper said firing at everything in sight while Nina was using her powers and Matthias ran out to help Y/N “Go with Inej” He shouted at Kaz. He didn’t want to leave you but he knew Matthias could protect you better than he could. He looked at you and as you nodded he picked up his cane and headed straight for Pekka Rollins.

Looking out, Kaz saw he ran off to the streets “Fucking bastard” he thought. But there wasn’t time to go after him. Bullets were firing everywhere and Inej and Y/N were hurt they needed to get out.

Matthias helped you get free, dropping his coat on your shoulders “Take this, you’ll need it” He said noting the state of your clothes. You thanked him “You’ll probably need this too” he added, giving you one of your knives. “Come on, we need to get out of here”

Alarms were ringing and you could see guards running to where you guys were through the windows.

“As much as I’m enjoying this it’s time to go” Jesper shouted over the noise grabbing everyone's attention. Him and Nina started clearing the way while you and Matthias ran after them. The druskelle carrying almost your entire body weight as you leaned into him for support “Kaz come on! Let’s go!” You screamed at him. He was fighting a few guards with a visible rage on his features.

Making your way through the hallways was not an easy task. Guards were firing from everywhere when you heard another explosion. You saw Jesper laugh running towards the sound where you found Wylan. His hair was a mess as he hugged Jesper.

Finally on the streets of Ketterdam you looked around. Seeing all your friends there, alive, free gave you an immense amount of relief.

Shots could still be heard so you had to keep running but you were too tired you didn’t know if you could make it.

Kaz looked into your eyes. He could already sense what was going through your mind when your knees gave out, your back colliding with the concrete.

Matthias looked at you then at Kaz, like asking for permission. When he nodded, the fjerdan picked you up in his arms and started running towards the Slat with everyone else.

Kaz hated it. He hated that he couldn’t help. He hated that he couldn’t give you his coat. He hated that he couldn’t pick you up in his arms. Instead he had to stand and watch another man do what he so dearly wished to do.

——————————————————————————

Arriving to the Slat was like arriving to heaven.

As soon as you guys got there Nina started working her magic on both you and Inej. You knew the amount of effort was draining her but she refused to stop.

Once you both were stable an air of relief filled the place.

Inej went straight to her room to rest.

Kaz told you to go to his room.

Lying down in Kaz’s bed he took a seat next to you on a chair.

“Hey, look at me” you tried to catch his attention “Hey i’m alright. I’m okay. We got out. We’re okay” you desperately wanted to touch him. To reach and grab his hands. To tell him how much you loved him. But Kaz wouldn’t meet your eyes his eyes were trained on something else.

The bright red marks on your skin. His intials.

“Stop that I know what you’re thinking, this isn’t your fault”

“Yes it is. And I hate it. I hate that this happened to you. I hate that I couldn’t come to your rescue sooner. I hate the way that bastard touched you. I hate that I wish that I could push you away. I hate that I’m selfish and even though it’s a constant risk I don’t want you to go anywhere. I hate that I want you to stay with me. I hate that you make me weak. I hate how you make me not hate” Kaz said looking firmly into your eyes. That confession was much more than what you ever expected.

The vulnerability of it all made you weak. Weak cause you thought that confession was beyond anything Kaz Brekker had ever felt. Beyond anything he would ever say.

You smiled. The most honest and happy smile that man had ever seen and you swore you saw the faintes blush on his cheeks but he would never confess to that.

“You make me not hate too” You said almost laughing.

——————————————————————————

The days passed and Kaz Brekker could not stop the giddy feeling he got any time he looked at you.

The Crows couldn’t believe what they were seeing. The Bastard of the Barrel looking at a girl, his girl, like a 10 year old with a crush.

Obviously the teasing was never ending. Kaz secretly loved it.

Sitting in Kaz’s office was your new routine.

He would be at his desk, papers everywhere and you would sit by the window talking to him or reading.

“I got you something” He said, standing in the doorway with a little box in his hands.

“What? What is it?” You asked with the excitement of a child which made Kaz grin.

The boy opened the box showing a beautiful gold necklace with a little heart charm engraved in it you saw his initials: K.B

“I wanted you to remember my name, not by your scars, but by something beautiful just like you” He said waiting for your reaction.

“I love it. I love you” You said with glossy eyes and a dopey smile.

“May I?” Kaz said taking off his gloves and pulling out the chain.

“Are you sure? You don’t have to” What he was doing was more than enough you didn’t want him to feel like he needed to do more.

“I want to”

You turned around and he slowly grabbed your hair and pulled it to the side. Clipping the necklace on you felt the lightest touch of his lips on your neck.

“I love you too”

taglist: @heavenlymidnight @06072543 @thefandomplace @aleksanderwh0r3 @kykymyeon @rika90 @otterly-fey @cc13723things @starxqt @purplewcrld @thecraziestcrayon @montsepliego @madeofsilkandsteel @benbarnes-supremacy @maryosprinkle @subjecta13-thefangirl @maybe-potato

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker imagine #six of crows #six of crows x reader #grishaverse #six of crows imagine #leigh bardugo #crooked kingdom #fanfiction #jesper fahey #inej ghafa #nina zenik #mattias helvar #wylan van eck #writing #shadow and bone #freddy carter

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bookishdream · 3 years

Note

Could you do a Kaz x reader where the reader have to "cheat on him" (not in relationship but like she goes to another gang) because someone's threatening her and when he discovers she was just trying to protect him and the gang she dies

A/N: Hi! Thank you so much for a request, I've been wanting to write some angst for a really long time! I hope it is as hurtful as you wished, enjoy xx

TW: angst, blood, killing

kaz brekker x reader

Your hands were sweaty and shaking. You crossed your arms on your chest in order to hide that. You didn’t like being threatened, especially by some amateurs. But it wasn’t a threat against you, it was against your family in Novyi Ziem. You had to use your whole will power to not kill them right there and then.

“Why do you think I’d do anything you want me to?” you asked snapping your gaze between a woman and a man in front of you. “You don’t know anything about me and my family you assume I have.”

“Oh, y/n, but we know everything. For instance, your little brother is playing as we talking on your vast field, your parents are watching him with so much love in their eyes,” woman with blonde hair spoke first, describing the scene so vividly that you almost showed an emotion on your face. “maybe they have already forgotten about you? Maybe your mother is pregnant so they could fill a blank you left in their home.”

“Shut up, you think you’re so smart, aren’t you?” you snapped, face blank and mind filling with memories from times when you were as young as your brother was then, playing on the exact same field. “I will never betray Kaz, and you should know that.”

“Oh sweetie,” the guy beside walked closer to you, you made a step, in order to make some distance between you and them. “we’re not asking you to betray him, we’re asking you to leave this silly gang and join us, Pekka Rollins would be really happy if you did.”

“You two are much denser than I thought, if you think I want to make him happy.”

“You don’t have a choice.” Blonde said, making you shiver. “We have someone who would be pleased to kill this little family of yours. I don’t think you want them dead, even though they think you are, in fact, dead.”

You started to think about that. Crows were your friends and you love them. Inej and Nina always found various ways to make you cheerful when your day wasn’t the best, Jesper taught you how to use a pistol and flirted with you like his life depended on it. Wylan was like a sun in rainy days, even if you loved them, you also loved this boy and his stupid jokes. Matthias was funny to tease, he always was saying how awful you and the girls were, but you could also see this little twitch of his lip corner when he tried to suppress his laugh. And there was Kaz, your beginning wasn’t the pleasant one, you nearly killed him when you saw him for the first time, and in revenge he left you in the Barrel for the whole night, all alone. But after that, you started falling for him, and you fell hard. You couldn’t exactly point out when that happened, but you were sure you’d anything to save him from himself. He had tough personality, he cared only for money and how he could invest it to get the whole city only for himself. But he let you do that with him, barley sleeping and when you did it was in the same bed. Arm-length gap but you always were less exhausted than when you were sleeping in your own bed. You loved him and the rest of the Crows, but you loved your family more. And you knew what you had to do.

“Bitch.” You murmured. “Fine, whatever. Just stay the hell out of my family. And the gang.”

“We knew you’d make a right decision. Pekka will send money to Per Haskell in order to buy your contract. You won’t regret that.”

“I already do.”

After that day, you were about to start living with your new gang, family, like Pekka had said to you the previous day, he’d also told you to not worry about your parents and brother, that they were safe as long as you were working with him, willingly.

You wouldn’t call this willingly, but you guessed it was enough to prevent your family from any harm coming from Pekka and his stupid gang. You hated being here, you missed the Crow Club, late night talks with Inej and Nina, and helping Kaz with buying new ships. You wanted nothing more than to escape, but you couldn’t. Kaz and Crows could fight and kill, whereas your family was vulnerable, they couldn’t even hurt a fly. You spent the whole evening in your empty room. Window with grids making you shiver, you felt like a prisoner you were.

“We have a job for you.” The blonde girl who captured you came in, like it was her cell, not yours. “Behave and perhaps we’ll get rid of those grids.”

You wanted to punch her, you didn’t even know her name, it wasn’t even relevant, your hand was itching. You took a long, calming breath and looked at her, frowning. “I thought it was another week until you’d trust me enough to even open my window.”

“You’ve been here for two weeks. Plans have changed, we need you right now, so cut the attitude and come with me.”

You rolled your eyes and went after her, going up the stairs and leaving the place Pekka’s gang lived. You took another deep breath, smelling the awful scent of Ketterdam, smoke and money as Kaz used to say. Gods, you missed him.

“Where are we going?” you asked, falling into step with the girl, there were only the two of you, you assumed the rest will be somewhere where you were going. “What’s the job?”

“Can’t you just shut up? You’ll know when we’re there.”

You really wanted to punch her, still you said nothing, you wouldn’t get anything from her. It was dark on the city’s streets, buildings high enough to cover the moon, didn’t let its shine to light up the roads. You were annoyed and cold, your hair was swaying with the wind, goose bumps poking on your skin.

“Here.” Blonde said, handing you a pistol. “If you kill someone from ours, you’re dead before you take your last breath.”

You rolled your eyes, hiding your gun into the pocket of a coat you had. The metal was cold, making your hands even colder than they were before. Now when you had a real gun, not only your knife, perhaps you’d be able to escape. But where would you go? You were sure Kaz knew where you were, perhaps thinking you betrayed him, that thought only made you feel guilty in your guts, he trusted you and you chose people who you hadn’t seen for years over him. You had to escape, the cost didn’t matter.

When you came to the place, you saw a guy from Pekka’s gang and Kaz. Both of them were talking, but members of both groups had their guns or blades taken out. The Dirtyhands had his black coat, and his walking stick, as always. Jesper also was beside him, hands on his gun belt, ready to take them out and fire. You were more than sure that Inej was also there, somewhere on the roof or in the shadows, waiting and prepared to fight.

“We have men everywhere, two on roofs, one behind the bridge. All of them have guns pointed on you and your previous friends. I hope you know what that means.” The girl said, eyeing you. You only nodded, worrying too much about the Crows to even snap at her. “Good, now go and wait for a signal.”

You did as you were told, you hid somewhere behind a building, trying to recall every piece of information you gathered while snooping on guards or using the fact that they didn’t always close your doors. You had to find someone and tell them, you couldn’t waste any more time.

You poked your head out, searching for Matthias or Wylan. You doubted Nina would be here, since she was still working in the pleasure house. You were sure Wylan was there with his explosion ready to, well, explode. You cursed under your breath, when you couldn’t spot any of them, panic getting out of you with frustration. Someone from the Dime Lions would notice you’re not somewhere where they could spot you.

You crossed the narrow lane, as you noticed Matthias, you whistled hoping he would look into your direction. He turned his head and spotted you, anger on his face visible even in the dark. You cringed, knowing you’d get beaten up.

“You’ve got some nerve,” He said, his voice low. “after you started working with them, you have the audacity to come here.”

“Listen, I didn’t have a choice,” your voice so close to start begging him for forgiveness. “It was about my family.”

He looked at you wordlessly, confusion painting his face. Of course, he didn’t know you had a family, why would he. After a second, the ire came again. “You’re lying.”

“I'm not, I want to help you.”

“Oh, so now you did that to help us?”

“Matthias, I’m begging you, just let me tell you what I learnt.” You pleaded, your voice small. “Pekka wants to kill you as you’re standing, he has those new guns that can shoot you from really long distance.”

“What?” he looked alarmed, “We have to tell Kaz. Come.”

You let out a breath, it wasn’t the best look he sent you, but at least he didn’t leave you here. You told him everything you knew, he listened but his face still didn’t have pleasant expression.

You took out your gun, making your way behind the dumpster, hiding in shadows. You tried to calm your nerves, but the adrenaline had already kicked in. Matthias and you startled when you heard a shot, then another. You sent yourselves a knowing look, taking a step closer to the place where Kaz and the other guy were talking. Jesper had his guns out and Kaz was looking at the boy in front of him with disgust. You saw one of the Dregs were bleeding, you lifted your gun, targeting the closest one from the Dime Lions and fired. The bullet hit the girl in her stomach, making her stumble and fall to the ground. You hid yourself behind the wall and waited. Matthias sent you a look and you only lifted your arms, not knowing what to said.

After that, guns started firing, screams were everywhere. You saw the blonde girl that came here with you, standing with her pistol, aiming Kaz. You shot without looking, trying to hit her in an arm, you heard her scream and saw how the gun was laying on a ground. You looked up and saw that Kaz was looking at you, his face blank and unreadable. Jesper beside him, shooting people and screaming at Wylan to explode. The sound of explosion came from the roof, exactly where members of Lions were, you let out a shaky breath and made a step into the fight. Matthias fighting with his fists, slowly making his way toward Kaz, you tried to help him clear the path by shooting few people either in their heads or legs.

Your hands were tired, your head pounding but you were fighting hard, you had to make this in order to confess Kaz the whole truth. When you were close to him, he locked his eyes into yours.

“We have to talk.” You told him, lowering your tone. “Please.”

“This is not the best time to talk, y/n” the way he said your name made you shivered. It wasn’t an intimate way, it was with so much poison in only one word. “Why aren’t you fighting with your new gang?”

“Kaz, please, I’m trying to help.” You voiced, your eyes burning with sweat that slowly dripped from your forehead.

“Whatever.” He smacked an opponent with his cane, you only heard the sound of cracked bone and a loud thud when the enemy fell to the ground.

You two were fighting as you had before Pekka came into your life. Kaz understood you without any words, knew exactly where he should cover you because you couldn’t. Your movements were precise, keeping people away from Kaz’s vulnerable leg. You were fighting in a harmony, you kept your focus on people you had to kill, you shot them without any hesitation. When your bullets ended, you took out your knife and started stabbing everyone who wanted to stab you.

“I– “you paused, feeling a pain in your abdomen. You looked at Kaz, but he was looking at your lower stomach, you placed your gaze there and you saw blood. A lot of blood, then you felt pain, you stumbled, but Kaz placed his hand on your waist, slowly letting you fall on the ground. Your whole stomach was on fire, slowly burning you with its flame.

“Don’t you even dare dying here, messing my coat with your blood” he said, caressing your cheek. You chuckled, tasting blood on your tongue. “Don’t even think about it, y/n.”

“I’m–, please forgive me, Kaz” you murmured, hoped your words were understandable. “I was trying to save my family, but you’re my family too.”

“Y/n, I forgive you, but I’m begging you, don’t close your eyes” his voice filled with regret, eyes burning with anger, but you knew it wasn’t toward you. “Keep your eyes open.” He yelled at someone, but you couldn’t understand either it was Jesper or Matthias.

“Tell them I love them” you started to give up, your eyelids slowly closing. “I love you, Kaz Brekker.”

“Y/n, please don’t leave me” he tried to keep his voice from cracking, but he failed.

But you didn’t hear that, you had your eyes closed, hand that was laying on your stomach, now laying on the ground. He carefully removed his arm and got up. He spotted a blonde girl, smirking and looking at him, she slowly lifted her pistol, mockingly swaying it. She winked at him and still with a smirk, she left. Kaz made a promise he would kill her, he would do it for him. And for you.

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goldengoddess · 3 years

Text

the crows and their godly parents

request: we should talk about ... who the crows' godly parents would be :)

a/n: AHHHH thank you for this request i get to talk about my two favorite things, please leave your thoughts/opinions!

inej ghafa - daughter of hades

sticks to the shadows

enjoys the silence

is almost always the observer

more powerful than anyone gives her credit for

she may be silent but she needs the laughs and the found family

is loved by everyone she meets

if you underestimate her once, you never do it again

knows everything

strong sense of justice

nina zenik - daughter of aphrodite

sorry i know this one is super obvious

instinct effect on people

very sure of herself and her own beauty

passionate

she OWNS the color red

loves so deeply

understands everyone's different love languages

flirts with everyone

knows all the romance language

finds a way to make her practical nemesis to fall in love with her

so so selfless

would sacrifice everything for the people she cares about

makes everyone feel beautiful in their own skin despite everything that’s hurt them

can literally make someone's heart stop, do i have to say anything else?

jesper fahey - son of apollo and dionysus

i absolutely can’t decide so he’s both

flirty as hell, as we all know

literally a ball of fucking sunshine

very bright and confident

comfortable with everyone

very into the party scene

dionysus’ effect would be his obsession with cards

extroverted as hell

happy and light until someone tries to fight him

will absolutely end your life and then make a joke about it

huggable and cute but don't fuck with what he loves

wylan van eck - hephaestus

okay this one is kind of a stretch

but hephaestus's thing is making things

everything is much more hands-on

lots of tinkering

and wylan is always working on making new substances

he doesn’t excel with words but gods can he work well with his head and hands to make something helpful for the crows

likes that jesper doesn’t sit still

mini kaz always has a different idea

or a different plan

or a different way of doing things

good under pressure

kaz brekker - son of athena

always has a plan

athena is the goddess of war strategy, and kaz always has a strategy

war without the aggression

unless absolutely necessary

she’s also wise

and though kaz plays his experience in the barrell as just toughening up it’s made him wise

people look to him for leadership

doesn’t need many words

kaz’s plans are creative

in a way they’re there own type or art

definitely the smart one outta the bunch

matthias helvar - son of ares

aggressive

mr im not a criminal im a Soldier

goes on too become a criminal

probably the most level headed of the group

like doesn’t do the impulsive thing and thinks like a fighter

softie on the inside

but only for one pretty heartrender

the family he has within the crows is so important to him

they’re like his regiment, the people he’ll go down fighting next to

all warriors need to rest sometimes so lots of exhausted lazy smiles

everyone confides in him for some reason

stubborn.

understands the importance of sacrifice :(

#god my two favorite things #inej gahfa #nina zenik #wylan van eck #jesper fahey #kaz brekker #matthias helvar #helnik #the crows #kanej #jesper x wylan #six of crows #shadow and bone #crooked kingdom #leigh bardugo #percy jackson #godly parents #heros of olympus

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anxiouspotatorants · 3 years

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Whoopsy daisy I made a Shadow and Bone random thoughts post:

The costumes in this show are impeccable. I was drooling over all the keftas and the ball gowns in 1.05 and the crow outfits. Hell, even the winter-camo outfits that Mal, Mikhael and Dubrov wore in 1.04 were amazing.

Am I the only one who isn’t surprised by the kruge pronounciation? Because I thought it would sound like how English people say Scandinavian words and I wasn’t wrong.

Coming in to this show as someone who had only read the Six of Crows duology, I expected to at least tolerate Malina based on the trailer clips. I kid you not: less than five minutes into the very first episode they owned my ass. That might be a new record for me.

Seriously the friendship? The pining? The finding home in each other and being able to acknowledge their faults and apologize to each other? Both of them having massive “fight me” energy and protecting each other? Hugs?? Why am I surprised that I ship this?

Some of those scene transitions/flashback edits were so good! Like I know they repeated that meadow scene a lot throughout the season, but the cuts from kid-Mal looking at the rabbit to grown up Mal psyching himself up for the fist fight? Poetic cinema.

The Darkling was horrible and I love it. He wasn’t a carbon copy villain, nor did his complexity redeem him. He was a perfectly complex and understandable monster and I am living for it. I have not been so happy to despise a character in ages and I genuinely bow in gratitude to both the writers and Ben Barnes, because I finally got to enjoy watching a character I did not for one second root for ( #writevillainswellagain)

Look I already loved Jesper in the book but his on-screen translation elevated him from a fave to the fave. I was worried that they would push him into a comedic relief-role, but he got to keep both his heart, his depth, and his humour. Kit Young did an amazing job bringing what was already a great character on page to an even greater character on screen and I once again applaud.

Am I a bit bitter that the casting had some interesting choices for certain roles (aka hiring light skin and mid-size actors for explicitly darker skin and plus-size roles)? Kind of. Do I think there are important discussions worth having about this? Yup. Do I also think that every actor hired for Shadow and Bone did an amazing job and deserve zero hate and massive amounts of love? Also yes.

I had Alexei for one episode and one episode only, and I still miss that poor sucker. This show did a surprisingly good job with making me care about a massive amount of characters considering the screen time they had and the amount of episodes this season had. Good job.

For some reason I expected Inej to be a lot more brooding based on how I perceived her in the books but I love what Amita Suman did with her. Her translation completely recontextualised everything I remember from the books and just brought this truly fresh character to life. Assassin with a conscience indeed.

Also I did love the Kaz we got in this season but I can barely contain myself as I wait for season 2 to be made and for a certain flashback to take place because that moment in the book was visceral and it stayed with me for a long time and I knew before the show announcement that this flashback could become a television moment.

Speaking of Kaz the crows were so chaotic and messy and I’m here for it. Their interactions with each other and their improvised back-up plans were everything. I somehow didn’t expect the crows to become the comedic relief of the season but it honestly makes so much sense.

A couple episodes in I still didn’t get the Zoya hype (remember I haven’t read the books) but was a massive Genya fan. By the end of the season I was like “oh both of these girls are getting redemption arcs and I am here for it”.

Speaking of redemption I still don’t like Matthias. I’m sorry but I just don’t. I get that he is important to many and that they like his relationship with Nina, but I just don’t have the patience for him and feel like Nina can do better. I still want him to get a redemption... but maybe not through a romance with the grisha woman he repeatedly slutshames, is bigoted towards and chokes at least once (twice if that SoC scene from book 1 happens). That being said this is just how I see him, so feel what ever you feel about him and ship to your heart’s content!

Alina’s journey through this season made complete sense to me. It hurt to see certain things, but they were necessary in my eyes. Seeing her go from this essentially insecure but brave girl to a manipulated pawn to an even stronger and more self reliant girl in spite of everything was amazing. It did feel like a well-written hero’s journey and I’m looking forward to seeing where she goes next.

Apparently a lot of book-readers don’t like Mal (and I am not here to change anyone’s mind about that) but the Mal I saw on the show was amazing. I actually kind of wish we had seen more of who he was outside of his relationship to Alina (f.ex. other flashbacks than the meadow, maybe something about any of his missions while separated from Alina pre-show), but I also loved what we got of him with Alina. We still got to see a guy who was brave, stubborn, flirtatious, a bit judgemental but with a strong sense of humour, and a lot of loyalty (to Alina but also to his friends). I can hardly wait to see what’s next for him.

Milo the goat. Where do I even begin. Not only did we get that Jesper-scene, but their farewell actually became a Chekhov’s gun for Mal in 1.07? Milo is the true hero of the season.

Speaking of 1.07 I loved the tent scene between Alina and the Darkling. She both got to be realistic about her feelings for the Darkling and stand up for herself and for others and call him out. The way I interpret the Darkling, he is the kind of villain who creates a saviour narrative around himself but cares more about power than anything else. He’ll say he’s doing everything to protect his people but is the first to kill the very people he claims to love. And Alina’s tent-speech really hammered that in for me.

I adore Baghra. Is she morally dubious? Yes. Was she incredibly mean to Alina during training to the point where it might have been excessive? Yes. Did she not take any of the Darkling’s bullshit and act as the proper mentor for Alina when the Darkling had said that he was going to train her? Yes. Am I kind of a Baghra stan now? I mean maybe.

The antler-collar was so evil and gross but from a visually narrative stand point it was perfect.

Also I still have no idea who David is but I want redemption for him too. Honestly I feel like half the supporting cast is gearing up for redemption arcs next season and I am excited for most of them.

Nina’s reaction when she hears Kaz on the boat? Priceless. Actually the whole boat scene from when she goes up on deck again to the cut back to the fold was priceless.

That being said the final scene had me even more ready for season 2.

Jesper kind of gave me messy period-fantasy James Bond? Does that make sense?

And Mal kind of gave me Lois Lane energy? As in he’s the mortal love interest that many assume is the hero/heroine’s weakness but actually functions as their emotional strength and inspiration? Am I reaching here or am I getting somewhere?

Mikhael and Dubrov. What a duo. Absolute madlads.

Also I’d like to see more Nadia if that is possible? Because the few scenes we had of her had me intrigued but then she sort of disappeared? Is she going to be important or was she just more of a temporary supporting character?

I entered this show a casual Six of Crows fan with mild interest in Kanej and I finished this season a mess. A mess who ships Kanej and Malina and Genya with that David guy even though they had about 30 seconds of screentime together and Zoya with redemption and Jesper with main-character status (hey we’re not getting Wylan until season 2 at least) and kind of those two Ravkan army guys and Nina with anyone else and Matthias with a better redemption storyline and the Darkling with karma! Also, a mess with a whole new set of comfort characters!

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wy-van-sunshine · 3 years

Text

modern Wesper high school

Wylan

The red-haired boy opened his locker pretty annoyed, slamming the door against the metal: it was the end of the school year and, just as usual, it was time to prepare for the school prom, probably the most important event to students.

Wylan hated it from the deepest of his heart: he had never been popular and no one had ever asked him to go together. What he hated even more was to see all the happy couples around him and some guys who found the courage to ask their love interest out.

Why had none of that ever happened to him in four years? Yes, he was openly gay and he was a little bit shy, but he wasn’t that bad after all, was he? He knew in his school there were other guys interested in men like he was, so why was he never considered a choice?

With his cheeks red with anger, he threw some books in his locker to put an end to that day and go home already; before closing the door, though, he saw a paper falling down from it: before he could catch it, a girl (whom he hated from the deepest of his heart) next to him took it and opened it: “Hey sunshine, want to go to the prom with me?” She looked at him raising her brows, a stupid smile curving her mouth “Oooh, Van Eck has a date! I wonder who could make such a poor choice”

Wylan rolled his eyes and took the note from that hideous bitch who never gave him a break. When she finally walked away, he focused on those words he couldn’t really read and his eyes suddenly widened: wait, had he just been asked out? Him?

Wylan was incredulous: that couldn’t be true, there had to be some kind of mistake. Wrong locker, maybe? He’d never been called “sunshine” before, so that message was definitely not for him.

He raised his gaze and scanned the hallway, looking for someone staring at him, maybe waiting for his reaction: but the only eyes he met were those of the captain of the football team, and he definitely couldn’t be his secret admirer.

Jesper

What he did was crazy and rushed, but that was just Jesper: everything he did was instinct. He carried the football team on his shoulders and all a good captain could do was to always trust his heart, no matter what.

He had spotted a beautiful mess of red curls during his first science class at the beginning of the year, and he’d been obsessed with that smart guy ever since: he didn’t talk much, but when he answered to the professor everything about the way he talked was hypnothic to Jesper - his soft, shaky tone, all those difficult scientific words, everything.

Even though Jesper was very friendly with everyone, he had never found the right moment to approach that curious boy: he was always alone, but every time he looked so focused on his drawings, lost in his thoughts, and Jesper just didn’t feel allowed to enter his world.

But he had to put an end to it: after talking to his dearest friend Inej about his matters of heart, the girl had suggested that he ask the red-haired guy out at the prom. He’d liked the idea.

He didn’t know his name - damn his lack of any focus during the science lessons, no wonder he had terrible grades - so he decided to call him by the spontaneous nickname he’d found after the first week: sunshine, because that guy with his curls and his smile shone like no one else.

He was now looking at him from the distance, curious to see his reaction to his note: when their eyes met, Jesper noticed the guy’s cheeks were much pinker and he chuckled, in complete awe for such softness.

Inej next to him smiled and punched him on the shoulder: “Looking flirty already?”

Jesper did nothning but laugh, keeping his focus on the handsome boy across the hall.

Wylan

All his surprise for the note disappeared when he saw the captain and his friend laugh while looking at him: suddenly, Wylan felt so stupid.

Of course no one wanted to go out with him, had he really believed any of that were true?

He lowered his gaze and only then did he remember he was wearing a green jumper: oh God, not only did he feel stupid, he was actually looking stupid. He remembered his father’s words every time he wore that colour: “Green with your red hair? You’re going to look like a Christmas elf. What’s next, a bell bracelet?”

No wonder the captain and his friend were laughing at him, now: they’d tricked him with a fake love note and they’d found him with that ridiculous outfit. He wouldn’t be surprised if they even knew he couldn’t actually read.

The joke turned out even better than expected.

Wylan felt tears filling his eyes and, before he could do anything about it, they were falling down on his cheeks. He had only a few seconds to see the captain’s expression change before he turned and ran away, far from all that shit he couldn’t take anymore.

Jesper

What had happened?

Jesper was standing petrified, all his excitement gone. He was confused and also a little bit crushed because he’d never seen tears wet that beautiful face before.

“I don’t understand” he whispered, turning to Inej to look for some answers.

“I don’t know what happened” said the girl, perplexed just the same “But I do feel like this is a good moment for you to be there for him. You say he’s always alone, and I don’t know who wants to be alone while crying”

Jesper nodded and gave Inej a rapid kiss on the cheek before leaving her in order to follow the red curls running away from him. It wasn’t hard, after all he was an athlete, so he could easily keep the guy’s pace. He followed him until he entered the music room: Jesper took a few moments to be surprised about it, but then he approached the door to join him and hopefully talk to him.

He found him seated at the piano, playing a furious yet wonderful melody on the keys.

Narrator

Wylan could express his feelings mostly through music, so that was the first thing he looked for after the pain he’d felt that day: he was liberating his frustration, telling his secrets to the only one who would listen.

He felt observed, but he didn’t care: whoever was annoyed by how loud he was playing could make peace with it already, he wasn’t going to stop.

“Hey, sorry to interrupt”

Wylan froze: he knew that voice. He’d watched some games at his school and the captain’s voice was always the loudest, the clearest.

Why had he followed him? Wasn’t he happy enough with how he had made fun of him?

“Leave me alone” whispered Wylan, his voice still rough “Please”

Jesper cleared his throat and stepped forward: “I’d like to sit next to you, actually. May I?”

“You may not”

The captain chuckled: “Um... okay, I’ll stand here then. I’m Jesper Fahey, nice to meet you”

The red-haired guy sighed: “What do you want? You’ve already humiliated me beyond imagination, what else do you need?”

Jesper opened his mouth, schocked and speechless: he had humiliated him? How was it possible? He hadn’t done literally anything apart from writing him a note that was everything but humiliating. What was the redhead talking about?

“I... what?”

Wylan laughed, tears filling his eyes again: “Oh please, please don’t play fool with me. Asking the poor loser out fot the prom? Very funny, yes, I’m sure you had a heartfelt laugh with your friends”

Jesper tried to reply, but Wylan went on, his cheeks newly red and wet: “You know, I knew I was stupid, but not as much as to believe someone like you could actually be interested in me. Stupid Wylan, you idiot. Father’s so right about you, you’re such a delusion”

“Hey-”

“And you also found me wearing this stupid green jumper and- you know what, I’m taking this off. I’m already a loser to you, so what changes?”

Jesper put a hand on Wylan’s arm and stopped him, trying to look at him in the eyes.

“Wylan - did I understand right? - Wylan, stop for a second. What the hell are you talking about? And why shouldn’t you wear that jumper? I...” the captain laughed nervously “I am honestly so confused, but please listen to me”

The redhead froze at the sudden warmth of the captain’s hand on his arm: he dried his cheeks with his sleeve and sighed: “Just be fast, I really can’t do this today”

The captain cleared his throat: “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I think there’s been a huge misunderstanding” he smiled at Wylan “I really want to go to the prom with you”

Wylan’s eyes widened, his breath catched: was he serious?

“Is that so?”

Jesper laughed: “I’ve already asked you twice in less than an hour, what do you want, a formal request?”

“I...” the redhead was speechless, his mind was starting to ache trying to understand how any of that were possible. He was probably dreaming.

The captain pointed his hand to the free space next to Wylan: “While you take this life-changing decision, may I sit?”

Wylan gave him the faintest smile: “Yeah”

The captain sat and the redhead held his breath for some seconds: Jesper’s arm was muscled and strong against his thin one, his profile looked like a sculpture, his lips were the most perfect shape he’d ever seen, his skin was a beautiful light brown similar to that cappuccino he loved so much. When Wylan found the ability to breath again, the captain’s fresh scent made him drunk.

He was going to lose his mind, so he made his eyes look away before he did anything stupid.

Jesper felt Wylan’s tension through his arm against his, so he placed a hand on the piano and played a random key: “I’ve always been astonished by the power of this instrument, but I don’t think I’ll ever understand how to play it” he turned his head to Wylan “You were playing beautifully, I would’ve listened to you for hours”

Wylan shrugged: “It wasn’t a great performance, I was just letting some bad feelings out. I can do better. Besides, that’s not even my main instrument”

“Oh?” now Jesper was surprised: just how great could this guy’s talents be?

The redhead smiled and scrolled his head: “No, I play the flute. But here at school I can only use the piano, hygienic stuff, you know. I... I really needed to play some music just to feel better”

Jesper nodded: “Did you feel bad because of the note I left in your locker?”

“Well...” Wylan sighed “Kind of. It’s not your fault, though: at first I was surprised, then I saw you and you friend laugh and I panicked. I thought it was all just a mockery”

“Why would you think that?” asked the captain raising a brow.

Wylan laughed: “Are you kidding? You’re, like, the most popular person in the entire school, how could I believe you were actually asking me out?”

He wasn’t going to mention his dyslexia too. He didn’t want to ruin the moment. Besides, he was starting to think Jesper didn’t actually know about it.

“Well, for starters I should inform you that you’re very cute and that you shouldn’t blush for me saying that” Jesper restrained a smile looking at those pale cheeks get the darkest shade of red “And you should also know that Inej and I were laughing because we were so excited to see your reaction. I’ve had you stuck in my head for a while now, you know”

“You... you have?” Wylan could simply not believe it. There wasn’t any logic in any of that.

Yet, it was happening.

“Yeah”

“So... so is everything true? You really want to go out with me, of all guys?”

“Oh Christ, you’re a tough one, aren’t you?” asked Jesper rolling his eyes. He stood up, just to get down on one knee and take Wylan’s hands in his “Please, Wylan, for the last time, will you go to this godforsaken prom with me?”

The redhead laughed, incredulous, but at the same time trusting towards that handsome guy kneeling if front of him: “I think I will”

“Oh my- can’t you just say yes, for my heart’s sake?”

“Okay, yes! Yes I will!” conceded Wylan, now laughing so hard he couldn’t even remember he’d been crying just a few minutes before.

“Thank God. This was the toughest task of my life so far”

Jesper sat back next to Wylan, smiling and feeling wonderfully. The redhead looked at him for a while, then cleared his throat: “Would you mind if I...” he hesitated, unsure if he could already go that far.

“If you what?”

Wylan lowered his eyes and whispered: “... if I hugged you?”

Jesper smiled as he whispered back a faint “come here”, circling Wylan’s shoulders with his arm, pulling him towards his body and placing his other hand between his incredibly soft curls. They both closed their eyes, feeling well, in the right place.

“By the way” whispered Jesper, not moving the tiniest inch from their hug “I have no idea why you talked about your jumper, but for the record I think green looks wonderful on you”

Wylan smiled against the captain’s chest: “You do?”

“Yes. It makes your eyes and your hair look even more beautiful. As a matter of fact, you should wear green more often”

In response, Wylan held tighter to Jesper’s body: “I will, then”

#wesper #wesper fanfic #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #six of crows #crooked kingdom #shadow and bone

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adxmparriish · 3 years

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and now I see daylight - read on ao3

writer: lizziebxnnet / godgavemelou word count: 2.1k rating: general

Matthias only sees Nina.

OR four times Matthias thinks about how much he loves Nina, and the one time he tells her.

They’re sitting around a table in Wylan’s house.

It’s fairly quiet. The room is lit low, a yellow tint that comes from the candles on the table. Everyone is there tonight for once. Even Kaz sits among them, taking time away from the Crow Club. Wylan is telling a wayward story about a bomb he’s testing, arms flailing as he describes the explosion. Nina is leaned back in her chair, a sweet bun in her hands as she listens. Her hair is down, curls falling around her shoulders. She’s wearing a deep red dress that brings out the pink in her cheeks that appears when she’s happy.

Wylan gets to the climax of his story, his hands smacking the table, his voice taking up all the space in the room. Everyone has managed a laugh, aside from Kaz who’s lips have quirked into the smallest of grins. It doesn’t matter though. Matthias only sees Nina.

Her head is thrown back, exposing the milky skin of her throat as she laughs. To Matthias, it’s like the sound of bells ringing, a bird singing. It’s the sound of magic, the music he refused to listen to before; before he’d met her. Her giggles grasp his heart in an iron-clad grip, squeezing so hard it’s difficult to breathe. He knows he’s staring but he can’t look away from her, can’t imagine ever seeing something so beautiful. When she’s finally calmed down, her bright green eyes meet his. They glisten and shine, twinkling in the firelight as she smiles at him. Matthias knows he should smile back but he can’t. He’s too entranced by her to do anything but look back at her. Looking into her face is like looking directly into the sun, the brightness of daylight.

Her hand meets his leg under the table, squeezing his thigh gently. Her affection used to scare him, rattle him, shake him. Now he welcomes her.

Matthias can hear conversion around him but it doesn’t matter. Nina is looking at him like he hung the moon, and the thing is, he’d do it for her.

“Want to share the last of my sticky bun?” she asks, raising her brow, a smile still playing at her mouth.

Instead of an answer, he leans in and snatches it from her fingers with his teeth, nipping at her as he does. Nina laughs again, giggles overtaking her. He knew she would, knew that him acting out of turn would please her, and frankly, it’s the only reason he did it. He’d do anything to see her this way; eyes dancing, nose crinkled, cheeks red. She’s ethereal, breathtaking, a vision, and he loves her.

They’re huddled around a table at the Crow Club.

Matthias is watching from the side as Nina plays a card game with Jesper. There are a few other patrons as well. Neither of his friends is doing well, a fair bit of kruge lost between them. As they continue to play, Nina grows more frustrated.

Her face grows redder as the cards are dealt, another hand is lost, another bit of kruge out of her hands. She gets lazy in her efforts, anger making her sloppy with her decisions. She loses another hand and grinds her teeth. Matthias thinks of stepping in, telling her they should go to their room, try again tomorrow.

Before he can get that far, Nina is standing up from the table, throwing down her cards in fury. A rough man at the table reaches up and grabs her by the waist, attempting to pull her back down.

“Now now gorgeous, let’s just calm down,” he grins cruelly.

Matthias is moving, his fits already curled and poised to hit, to beat this man senseless, break his hands so he can never touch Nina again. He’s too late. Nina’s hands are raised, her fingers curling, and then the man falls. His head crashes against the table, his cards falling to the floor. Her eyes are aflame, a burning behind them that halts Matthias in his tracks. Her chest heaves, breaths coming in ragged. Even as she lifts her eyes, meeting his gaze and simmering down, she is a fire burning brightly in the dimly lit room. A sort of silence has drifted over them as he watches her, wondering if he should approach.

Jesper stands from the table, abandoning the game.

“We’re done for tonight, Nina.” He sounds like he’s terrified, while also fighting off a laugh.

Matthias moves closer but doesn’t touch, just waits for her to come down. Nina isn’t difficult to rouse, her anger never coming over a simmer even at the worst of times. But when it boils over, fiery red flames catching and burning, she’s a sight to behold. She’s an explosion, an earthquake, violent and powerful, and he loves her.

They’re standing in a small field outside of Ketterdam.

Nina is kneeling down in the grass, her hands shaking as she sets down their dog, cradling his head as she does.

They hadn’t had Gestinge long. Matthias and Nina found him as a small puppy, roaming the streets alone, barely alive. Nina loved him immediately, begging Matthias to let her have him, for them to raise him. They weren’t technically allowed a dog where they were staying, but when Nina looked up at him, the green of her eyes wet with tears as she held the puppy close, he couldn’t say no. He was perfect for them.

They named him after the Fjerdan word for paradise because that’s what he was. He brought them peace on easy days, happiness on the hard ones, and laughter in all the times in between. Matthias was stuck trying to train him, while Nina fed him treats and cuddled with him in her favorite chair. He would watch them together, walking down the streets of the city, and feel a warmth in his chest that was unmatched by anything else. In a way, they were his family, and it was perfect. It was all he’d ever wanted.

Today was a crack in their paradise.

Matthias found him in an alley behind the Crow Club, bleeding from a wound that they’re sure came from another animal. He carried him home carefully, tears threatening to spill over. He worried for Gestinge, wanted him to be okay more than anything. But he worried for Nina, too. He worried she’d take it too hard, worried that she might find a way to blame herself. She’d been the one to let the dog out to wander, as they typically did during the day. Now Gestinge was hurt, and Matthias knew he wouldn’t make it.

Now, he digs a hole in the soft grass as Nina kneels beside him, too upset to help. Her eyes leak tears as she watches him. When he’s finished, they lower their puppy into the makeshift grave. The sun shines down on them as they stand over the hole in the ground, Matthias gripping Nina’s hand in his own. He gives it a squeeze and looks at her, unsure what he should say.

Her eyes are red-rimmed and swollen. Her hair is a mess, tangled where she can’t stop running her hands through it. Her lip quivers, and when she finally looks back at him, the hurt in her face breaks Matthias’ heart. She’s tragedy and unease, sadness in a way he’s never seen before, and he vows to keep that look off of her forever. The trembling of her hands, the slouching of her shoulders, causes a deep hurt in Matthias that he hates.

As she says a final goodbye, he lifts their intertwined hands, kisses her knuckles, and tries his best to give her a reassuring smile. Like the sun breaking through the clouds after days of rain, she slowly smiles back and she’s radiant. Even through the hurt, through the pain of losing something she loves, she is gorgeous, as bright as the sunshine beaming down on them, and he loves her.

They’re standing intertwined in the darkness of Kaz’s office.

Nina’s arms are looped around Matthias’ neck. She’s on her tiptoes as she leans into him, their bodies so close there’s no air between them. Her back is arched, her head thrown back, as Matthias kisses her neck. She practically purrs when he lowers his hands, gripping her thighs so he can lift and hold her against the door.

Their only soundtrack is the little noises Nina makes in the back of her throat, Matthias’s groans as he kisses her, the creak of the door, the crowd in the Club growing restless around their games. He can feel her pulse pounding under her skin as they kiss in the dark.

Then, the knob shakes and the door tries to move.

“I know you’re in there,” Kaz mutters through the door, shaking the handle again. “Don’t make me get Inej to force you both out.”

Nina giggles from under Matthias, red blossoming on her cheeks at them getting caught.

“Five minutes,” she replies.

Nina looks up, deep green meeting bright blue. Her lip is trapped between her teeth as she smiles. She’s flushed from her hair to her neck. Everything about her is messy and lewd. Her pupils are blown wide beneath the darkness of her lashes as she looks up at him. Her lips are shiny and red from their kisses, from Matthias’ teeth, and her own nipping at them. Matthias’s heart flutters in his chest at the sight of her like this. She is desire reincarnate, a rose blooming in the warmth of summer, a burst of light in a dark world.

He leans down and captures her mouth with his own, pouring every feeling he holds close into the kiss. He can feel her lips curving into a smile against his own. He holds her impossibly closer, gripping her so tight in his hands he’s sure he’ll leave bruises. She breathes his name into his mouth, so much passion in the word that he’s sure he’ll break apart. Nina is perfect and beautiful, and everything alluring in the world, and he loves her.

They’re laying in their bed.

Their limbs are tangled under a heavy blanket. Nina is sleeping soundly, her curls fanning across the pillow. Her chest rises and falls slowly, a tiny snore escaping her every once in a while. The golden light of sunrise is coming through their window. It touches her face gently, the warmth making her glow. Matthias’s chest aches as he lays there watching her.

He runs his fingers through her messy hair as the sun continues to rise. Part of him wants to go back to sleep, to get the rest he really needs, but he can’t look away. He only sees her, her beauty radiating through their room like the light streaming through their curtains.

When he can no longer just look at her, he leans down and kisses her forehead.

At this, she stirs. Her forehead creases, her eyelids flutter, and the green of her eyes are hazy as she wakes up. She looks at him through the fog of early morning and he’s breathless. He lifts his hand and cradles her cheek, his thumb caressing the skin of her cheek. Nina’s eyes begin to adjust but she simply looks back at him, her eyelids threatening to close again. Not from sleep, but from pleasure, from desire.

She is beautiful. She is his everything. She is the sun that rises and sets. She’s the stars in the night sky, lightning and thunder exploding in the sky during a storm, the grass that grows in the cracks of the sidewalks. She’s the stillness of the morning, the excitement of the night, the ease of midday. Nina is the breath in his lungs, the warmth in his heart, and everything else in between. Matthias loves her. So he tells her.

He whispers it against her mouth as he kisses her. He breathes it against the skin of her throat. He sighs the words as he holds her close, his arms pulling her against him. He gasps it when Nina is finally fully awake and pushes him against the bed, kissing him with all the fierceness inside her. He recants it over and over, like an enchantment, like a prayer, like a curse. Matthias loves her.

And like a miracle, Nina loves him in return.

She says it in the way she grabs his hand when she’s happy. She says it in the way she shares her food with him, even when she doesn’t want to. She shows him when she laughs at him, or with him, depending on the circumstance. She tells him when she crawls in their bed at night, when she leans into his embrace, and when she lays her head on his shoulder.

But now, she says it with her words.

“I love you,” she whispers.

The sun has fully risen, the sunlight of a new day beaming on her, and she glows like a lighthouse, guiding Matthias home.

“I love you, my little red bird.”

#my fic #helnik #nina zenik #matthias helvar #nina x matthias #matthias x nina #six of crows #shadow and bone #six of crows fanfic #helnik fanfic #helnik fics #helnik fanfics

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probablytenderjourneys · 3 years

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*Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom SPOILERS*

Do you ever lie in your bed late at night and think of what Kaz Brekker could've been had it not been for Pekka Rollins and Ketterdam?

All the other characters have tragic backstories in their own way but for me, Kaz's hits the hardest.

While Inej's story breaks my heart, I have the solance that she never changed who she truly was. She adapted to life in Ketterdam, killed when she had to, was hurt and hurt people. But she never lost that kindness of hers, or her childish hope or her faith not only in her religion but also in the world. She will forever be scarred by her time at her Menagerie but she at least has still has herself and all the part of herself that make her, her. Inej lost a lot of things, but all through it she had herself.

Nina suffered and caused suffering, she had to watch the love of her life die right before her eyes and she'll never forget that. But she made it through that pain, and came out the other side with brand new hopes and chances. She has her Grisha, especially Zoya. She has her country and her powers and friends that support her. She has Hanne and her happy ending, the possibility to make the promise she made to Matthias come true. There's a bright future that awaits her.

Matthias was taught to hate and fear the things he could not explain. He spent his teenage years being fed hatred and poison but through all that, he kept his honour and his morals. The hard things he had to do as a druskelle came easy to others, should've come easy to him. But deep down in his heart, he held on to the goodness that was rooted in him, the honour, the mercy. When he finally unlearned all those druskelle values and morals, he was allowed to let his true self shine through. He did not die angry, or ashamed. He died knowing that there was the possibility of something more for his country, his people.

Jesper lost his mom and was forced to hide his gift but he had someone who loved him no matter what. He had someone to turn to, someone who cared about him more than anything else, someone who would protect him until there was nothing to protect. He lost himself for a while, struggled with his gambling addiction, his relentless energy, his need for a fight- but he eventually found himself. The good parts of him, the ones who truly represent who Jesper is were never gone, they were just lost and he just needed to find them.

Wylan suffered so much ever since he was a little boy. But one thing he didn't have to worry about was providing for himself, or not having a roof over his head. Now listen, I know these things mean nothing because Van Eck was an abusive piece of shit- i am in no way excusing or minimising Wylan's trauma because he was rich. But the circumstances of his birth allowed him to keep hold of the person he truly was, and he eventually became who he was supposed to be. He took over the Van Eck empire while being who he always was- a brilliant boy with an enourmous heart.

But Kaz will never be able to go back and become who he could've were it not for Jordie's death. He had to kill all the kindness, all the softness, all the faith he once felt as a child, that the world could be good to him, that magic was real, that he could be anything other than cold and ruthless. We see glimpses of who Kaz could've been especially when he is around Inej or even Jesper. But never will he ever be able to fully let go of the person he was forced to become. Who would've Kaz been if he wasn't forced to provide for himself since he was 9? If the streets of Ketterdam didn't force him to fight and steal and form the image of a ruthless boy, of 'Haskell's rabid dog'? Would he be a student at Ketterdam's University where he would've met and became friends with Jesper, just two intelligent boys going out for a fun night, hands draped over each other's shoulders, laughing at anything and everything? Would he be able to touch Inej the way he always wanted to, but never could? Fingers brushing her hair away, kisses stolen late at night, hugs so tight it snatched the breath away from both of them? Would he hug Nina when he saw she was sad or ruffle Wylan's curls when the kid looked lost in his own head? Would he laugh and be happy, careless and free to act on his hopes and desires? No matter how much he works towards healing himself, the things he was forced to do will never go awag and the parts of him that he was forced to kill will never return.

It just makes me so incredibly sad to think of the person Kaz could've been but never will.

#six of crows #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #mathias helvar #nina zenik #crooked kingdom

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