#24th February (collectively) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

derehono · 3 months

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24.02.2022.

The day that changed my life forever.

24th of February 2022 should have been my usual day. No, not usual. A wonderful day. I should have been checked with a doctor, gave notice to teachers in high school of my absence, and then fly away on vacation, my parents wanted it so much.

On 23rd of February 2022 I felt happy. I had a secure, happy life, preparing to finals, hanging out with my friends, already having an offer from university.

Until 5AM 24.02.2022.

I had not a single class in my school since then.

I haven’t seen my friend group in 2 years.

I didn’t have my finals.

We did not have that vacation.

“Daughter, wake up. This old psychotic man attacked us. We are leaving.”

That was my first photo of the day, trying sarcastically keep myself normal. I remember that actual emptiness, reading my classmates texts about how their windows were shaking because of explosions, the sky was orange. They sent that video.

He called it “a special military operation”.

I collected random clothes, some hobby stuff just to keep my sanity, grabbed my pet, emptied my safety locker. I was scared that russians would intrude into our home and steal all my savings, so I throw away key to that lock. This key became my symbol of war, I have never found it even after return.

When I with my parents and pet got out of flat to car we heard for the very first time air raid siren. We would hear so many more of them, we would learn to differentiate them, but then we were confused.

It was my second photo. People were going away. Foot, cars, bicycles. I remember such a surreal picture. Some moms were carrying their toddlers, one woman was carrying a bucket of water with turtles, other people were carrying cages with parrots, with dogs, with cats, with exotic pets despite air raid siren, temperature, rain. Everyone was so confused and scared.

Few days later the road we were riding was occupied. Bridges destroyed. Factories burnt. Supermarkets demolished. Houses in ruins. Road in holes. On the side of the road burnt cars with “DO NOT TOUCH, POSSIBLY EXPLOSIVE”. That gut wrenching feeling seeing photos of dead bodies and recognising the place.

But back then it was still lively, not a road of death. I remember reading news then. First victims, first shelling. Invasion from East. Invasion from Kharkiv region. Invasion from Crimea. Invasion from Chernihiv. Invasion from Zhytomyr. And we were in Zhytomyr region at that moment. Explosions in Kyiv. The border was destroyed.

I felt nothing. Just emptiness.

This precious girl was keeping my head cool all the road. She was also scared and irritated, but she was so strong, such an amazing girl. I am so proud of her.

We were heading to my grandparents who lived closer to West Ukraine, so we would be safer. The road that takes usually just 4 hours but that time it took 13 hours. 13 hours of driving exhausted and nerved. We saw soldiers, trucks, jets, how barricades were built, signs were removed.

But we made it. We were lucky. Lucky to be alive, to have family alive and mostly close to West, further from russia. Even though, part of my extended family still was under occupation in Chernihiv region, suffering from such close border with belarus.

When we arrived, we were just silent. Then collected mattresses for shelter, asked grandpa to grab some patrol (we knew that they would definitely destroy reservoirs and literally next day the started doing that), and just fell asleep in something that we arrived in, being so scared.

That day I also cut ties with russian friend who I am shamed to admit having. He was proving me that this is just a military operation, no one would be harmed.

Then, arrived spring that I will never forget but at the same time never remember. I remember 10 people in one floor house. I remember the whistle of rocket that woke us up. I remember sirens. I remember news. I remember losing hope. I remember first photos after deoccupation of Kyiv region. I remember how forgotten friend of my dad suddenly called him saying that his city is fully destroyed, his neighbour right on his eyes was exploded attempting to get into the car and evacuate.

I remember my first mental breakdown. How I was crying in the darkness, but quietly so no one would notice.

We were able to return home three months later. But we are just lucky. Someone would never return. Someone is not even alive to see their home again. Someone’s home is forever destroyed.

I was lucky that I have secured my place at foreign university before war, but my whole family is still in Ukraine.

War is not over at all. 20% of Ukraine is occupied. So many displaced civilians, so many deaths. No one could even count, we do not have any access to bodies. Only way to identify is to deoccupy and find mass graves. No other means. Children are suffering from PTSD even in such a young age. Almost in every city, big or small, you would find graveyards covered in Ukrainian flag, grave of the soldier.

Maybe media does not talk that much of us, but it doesn’t mean that everything is alright. Avdiivka is destroyed, right now operation searching for people under debris of the civilian house after attack is undergoing.

And this is happening all the time.

Who was punished for Olenivka? Who was punished for destruction of Kakhovka Dam? Who was punished for all fully destroyed cities? Who was responsible for all that absolutely atrocious videos torturing Ukrainian soldiers?

Please, remember, Ukraine is still on fire. People are still dying. Soldiers cannot even counterattack because they do not have enough ammo, just for protection. Information war is also waging, sharing all that misinformation, Nazi narratives, russian propaganda.

Remember.

Help.

Share.

russia is a terrorist state.

Glory to Ukraine.

Glory to the Heroes.

#personal #russia is a terrorist state #russo ukrainian war #ukraine #russia #war crimes #war #glory to ukraine #slava ukraini

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beezlebuth · 3 months

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my current and updated collection of jhonen vasquez comics and memorabilia!

-jthm the directors cut 24th printing (may 2007)

-jthm issue #1 ~a general sense of contempt~ 14th printing (march 2002)

-jthm issue #2 ~human relations~ 10th printing (february 2002)

-jthm issue #3 ~a transient smile~ 8th printing (february 2002)

-jthm issue #4 ~another tiresome descent~ 9th printing (december 2001)

-jthm issue #7 ~in control of a broken machine~ 9th printing (may 2002)

-squee! issue #1 ~when i was little~ 1st printing (april 1997)

-squee! issue #2 ~remember~ 1st printing (september 1997)

-squee! issue #3 ~villains~ 1st printing (november 1997)

-squee! issue #4 ~the super amazing final issue~ 1st printing (may 1998)

-original squee! shirt from the back of the book catalogs

-i feel sick issue #1 ?th printing (november 2011)

-i feel sick issue #2 ?th printing (??? 2011)

-filler bunny #1 january 2000

-filler bunny #2 february 2001

-filler bunny #3 2005???

-jthm snippet from 1997 1st issue of carpe noctem

-jthm cosplay that i made myself :)

-anne gwish tshirt that i made because i only ever found ONE listing for the original and it was bought already :,,(

all of my individual issues of johnny the homicidal maniac came organically to me as i work at a comic book shop and people have sold collections to the owner and he gave me the issues for free!! (he used them temporarily as fly swatters because anything that isnt first printing is worthless)

i also have a small collection of lenore the cute little dead girl if any one is interested. my love for jthm was blossomed from the love i had of lenore when i was young. i grew up with my dad at the comic book store he worked at (the same one i work at now!) and he would buy me the individual issues and hardcover lenore books as they came out. i had to have been 6 or 7 which i probably shouldnt have been reading bloody comics full of profanity but FUCK IT! they changed my life and the more i learned about roman dirge, the more i learned about jhonen vasquez with jthm and aaron alexovich with serenity rose (honorable mention jim mahfood). they inspired me to create my own comic that has helped me to cope with a lot of emotions and personal trauma over this past couple years.

#johnny the homicidal maniac #jthm squee #jthm fandom #jthm #jthm art #jthm nny #jthm devi #jthm fanart #jthm johnny #jhonen vasquez #invader zim #squee!#anne gwish #jthm comics #slave labor graphics #carpe noctem

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xx-thedarklord-xx · 4 months

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If you are like me, excited for upcoming drarry fests but suddenly feel like you are behind because there are so many, you have come to the right place. I am going to try to compile a list for the ones coming up in the next few months, if I have missed any fests please let me know and I'll add them!

Draco Tops Harry @dracotops-harry

Prompt Collection: January 06 - 20, 2024

Claiming starts: January 22 - March 17, 2024

Submissions due: March 18, 2024

Fest starts: April 1, 2024

Drarry MiniBang @drarry-mini-bang

Sign Ups: January 20th

Sign Ups Close: February 18th

Deadline for fic concept: February 18th

Fic Concepts to Artists: February 24th

Artist Claim: February 27th

Submissions Due: July 2nd

Posting Begins: August

Lights Camera Drarry @lcdrarry

Propmting: January 10-17

Claiming/Sign Ups: January 20th to March 15

Submissions Due: April 15

Posting Begins: May 1

Reveals: June 15

HD Wireless @hd-wireless

Prompting opens: Sunday, January 14th

Claiming opens: Sunday, February 4th

Submissions due: Friday, June 14th

Posting starts: Monday, July 1st

Harry Draco Mpreg @harrydracompreg

Prompting Begins: Monday, 29 January

Prompting Ends: Saturday, 10 February

Claiming Begins: Monday, 12 February

Last Day to Claim: Sunday, 7 April

Submissions Due: Sunday, 21 April

Posting Begins: Sunday, 12 May (US Mother’s Day)

Reveals: Sunday, Sunday, 16 June (US Father’s Day)

#drarry #drarry fests #upcoming drarry fests #This is also for me #because I can't keep track of dates at all #and needed them in one spot #PLEASE let me know if I missed a fest #my memory is ass and I need the help whenever possible #I'll add them ASAP

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doumadono · 9 months

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Step into the sin bin! Sinful Sunday is a unique writing extravaganza on this blog, where I explore your every idea and curiosity about your beloved characters. Got a headcanon burning to be shared? Craving to explore a particular kink? Look no further, you're in the right spot! Send me an ask, and in return, you'll receive either a little blurb or set of headcanons! Share your thoughts anytime you fancy. Saturday morning is when the floodgates open, and the posts will come pouring in! 😉🔥

GENERAL RULES

for Sinful Sunday participation, kindly ensure you're 18 or older. Your safety matters, and I'll tag my content accordingly. Please respect this request and do your part

feel free to send your asks, thoughts, imaginations, or requests either anon or not

you're also welcome to share your own headcanons or imagines for the character of your choice! I'm eager to engage in conversations about them with you 😊

Sinful Sunday will last all through Sunday and will end Sunday night at midnight, 23:59 CET

any additional Sinful Sunday requests I receive afterward will be either reserved for the next Sunday or considered for a future request, depending on my current mood and availability

Sinful Sunday-specific tag for all asks, blurbs, and headcanons will be: #doumadonos sinful sunday 🔥

Sinful Sunday kicks off on the upcoming Sunday, September 10th!

SINFUL SUNDAY UPDATE AS OF 3/12/23

Firstly, on the Sundays of December 24th and 31st, I won't be posting anything for Sinful Sunday. Given that it's the Christmas season and I'll be with my family, I've decided that the last Sinful Sunday of the year 2023 will be on Sunday, the 17th.

Due to the high volume of requests every Sunday, it's become physically challenging to complete all of them in a single day. To address this, I'm implementing a new rule – I'll be posting approximately 5 pieces for every Sinful Sunday. Any requests remaining in my inbox will be automatically scheduled for the following weekend.

I'll be adjusting the priority for Sinful Sunday requests, giving top priority to those that come in off-anon. While anonymous questions are still welcomed, I'll be initially focusing on non-anonymous requests.

I'm aware many of you enjoy the Hantengu Clones, but I kindly request not to ask for similar scenarios with different clones once a scenario has already been published with one of them.

I'm open to delving into darker content, so feel free to share your more intense thoughts/thirsts with me without hesitation! 🔥

SINFUL SUNDAY UPDATE AS OF 31/12/23

In light of the recent poll results, I'm thrilled to share that Sinful Sunday is set to unfold bi-monthly, taking place every two weeks, starting January 14th, 2024

Any requests submitted from now on will be posted on the specified day (in the event of a substantial number of requests, they will be posted based on the order of reception in my inbox. Just a gentle reminder: I'm featuring only 4-5 pieces each Sunday!)

SINFUL SUNDAY UPDATE AS OF 15/02/24

As I'm heading to Japan on March 1st, there will be some changes to Sinful Sunday.

the upcoming Sinful Sunday by the end of February will be the last one before my Japan trip. Sinful Sunday will resume on April 27th, and I'll remind you about it in a post

SINFUL SUNDAY UPDATE AS OF 23/04/24 - TOTAL CHANGE IN FORMAT

due to the large number of 5k celebration requests, Sinful Sunday will be postponed to May 11th

I've decided to change things up for this recurring event. Since Sinful Sunday happens every two weeks, in the first week - I'll collect your requests. Then, a week before the event - I'll post a poll with all the submitted requests, so you can vote for your favourites. I think this will be the healthiest approach, especially since the last few Sinful Sundays have been overwhelming due to the influx of requests in a single day

the two works with the most votes will be posted every Sinful Sunday

all unused requests will either be deleted or saved for separate stories (only if I really like specific requests)

repeated or similar requests to stories I've already posted will be deleted

you can submit requests for Sunful Sunday starting now, and the first poll will be posted on May 4th

fandoms I write for: My Hero Academia, Demon Slayer, Honkai Star Rail, Genshin Impact, Jujutsu Kaisen, Wind Breaker, Bucchigiri!?, Obey Me, Haikyuu

#doumadonos sinful sunday 🔥#sinful sunday #x reader smut #smut #kny smut #mha smut #jjk smut #bnha smut #obey me smut #my hero academia smut #haikyuu smut #navigation #genshin impact smut #hsr smut #honkai star rail smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #bucchigiri #bucchigiri?!

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1dastroficfest · 4 months

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Round 3: Minor Arcana

For this round of the fest, the theme is Minor Arcana. The Minor Arcana cards in a tarot deck reflect your everyday experiences – the joys, challenges, relationships, and ideas that you encounter frequently. They can reveal the lessons from your past, and guide you to make the best choices for your future. Listening to the Minor Arcana can greatly improve your daily life! These cards can be seen as normal playing cards, but each card has their own meaning. You have four suits, Swords (Spades), Wands (Clubs), Cups (Hearts) and Pentacles (Diamonds). Every suit has 14 cards, 10 numbered cards and 4 court cards, Page, Knight, Queen, and King.

For your prompt, you will receive a tarot reading from the mods of this fest. Three cards will be pulled for you, all Minor Arcana. This means that you will have three prompts to choose from or, if you’re seeking a fun challenge, combine the meanings for one prompt. This choice will be made by sign up, but that doesn’t mean you have to stick to it. However, if you choose to do “full reading”, so combine the cards, the mods will do a reading based on the three cards for you. As usual, reach out if you have any questions about the prompts rules, or tarot in general.

As to support writers, we are experimenting with including artists into the fest to provide art for the fic posts. This may include different art media. Writers can request the help of an artist during sign up. Although it’s not a guarantee there will be an artist to help, we are hoping to match anyone with an artist willing to help. You can also contact an artist on your own, a friend or someone who is part of the list on @artistsof1d.

If you’re an artist, you can find information about joining the fest, here.

Writer Sign up: here

Artist Sign up: here

Rules:

There’s no minimum or maximum word count.

There is no age restriction, but for writing nsfw content, you must be 18+.

Fics must be tagged appropriately. Certain topics can be triggering, so please don’t hide or downplay anything. The fic will be removed from the collection if authors aren’t open to changing tags due to complaints.

All pairings are allowed, as long as there's at least one member of 1D.

All fics must be completed when posted.

This fest is not anonymous. Please feel free to post snippets of your fic and tag the blog.

Co-creation is allowed; please address it when signing up or message the mods as needed.

It encouraged to have your fic looked over by a beta.

Add your fic to the collection by 6 pm CEST and authors will be responsible for their rebloggable fic posts.

We don't allow AI art for the fic posts. The fic post won't be reblogged, we will just mention there is a fic published until an appropriate fic post is released.

Contact info with an artist will be provided as soon as we have a match. However, the artist sign-ups stay open, so if you didn’t get an artist right away or need to change, there is still a possibility someone will help later on.

Schedule:

Sign-ups close: February 23rd

Author check in: May 23rd

Deadline: June 23rd

Posting begins: June 24th

#allwaswell16 #trackinghome #ficsfor4am #1dsource

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hilda-appreciation-week · 4 months

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Two weeks left until Hilda Appreciation Week! A reminder that this blog will be accepting submissions up until the 24th of February so everybody that wants to can get their submissions in. Please check the blog for further info if needed, including prompts, and you can always send an ask or DM with questions if you have them!

Image text under the cut

Hilda Appreciation Week 2024

TWO WEEKS LEFT!!

Hilda Appreciation Week begins on the 11th of February! Further information is collected on the blog if you're curious about anything, and submissions will be accepted up until one week after the 17th of February, the 24th. If you have questions, feel free to drop this blog an ask or DM :)

#hilda the series #hilda netflix #hilda #hildaappreciationweek2024 #mod text

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ohsalome · 11 months

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What's funny is that on 24th of February we, Ukrainians, collectively hoped that russians - at least those who used to call themselves our friends and family - would rise up against their government to stop klling us.

And now, more than a year after, they've risen up in order to more effectively kill us

full credit to the thought

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constructiconweek · 3 months

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Ok happy February! I’m go ahead and post the words I’ve selected for Constructicon week 2024 with a nice preview header and the official list with the days and I'll post the AO3 collect closer to the date :

Day 1 Feb 18th Scrapper : Wood

Day 2 Feb 19th Long Haul : Paper

Day 3 Feb 20th Scavenger : Sand

Day 4 Feb 21st Hook : Glass

Day 5 Feb 22nd Bonecrusher : Concrete

Day 6 Feb 23rd Mixmaster : Fabric

Day 7 Feb 24th Devastator : Free Day : (Prowl/Gravedigger/Hauler/Omega Supreme/Dirt Boss and others can be included here just had to be Constructicon related.)

(The different universes (G1, IDW one and two, TFA, Armanda and others can appeal to any day just tag it when we get there!

more under cut

And I’ll add here given that these are building materials and want to build stuff and do other projects with them, like wood burning or sand art for explain, (be careful) but cool! We’d love to see it when the time rolls around! I’m hoping posting this early gives people (like me) more time for writing, drawing, and all art!

Again the days are February 18th - Feb 24th 2024 (Engineering Week in the US) contact me admin @fireyhotsupertalia if you have any question!

Each day has two prompts the first is the Constructicon and the second is the word, feel free to use both in Conjunction or if you want you can use just one for example you feel like just drawing Mixmaster go for it post Friday, feel like writing about the who group and Formula go for it post Monday. Get delayed and can’t post on the correct day no problem I’m sure everyone will love to still get the content so don’t worry too much. It’s about fun and adding more to the community.

You can feel free to @ me here or submit things if you’d like I’ll reblog all I can!

Admin for this blog and event are @fireyhotsupertalia

#constructicon week #constructicons #mixmaster #devastator #long haul #scrapper #scavenger #bonecrusher #longhaul #hook #constructicon week 2024 #prowl #hauler #Tfa constructicons

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liamshawday · 4 months

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On February 16, 2023, Picard Season 3 aired its first episode and ✨️Liam Shaw✨️ made his first appearance. One year later, it's time to celebrate!

-Ten days of fan creations, for lucky number ten-

(See guidelines below- do as much or little as you would like to! Choose any of the three prompts and make any fan creation)

Prompts:

Day 1-Feb 16th: Alive/ S3E1 The Next Generation/ Hurt-Comfort

Day 2-Feb 17th: Borg/ S3E2 Disengage/ Backstory

Day 3-Feb 18th: Chicago/ S3E3 Seventeen Seconds/ Fix-it

Day 4-Feb 19th: Dead naming Explanation(s)/ S3E4 No Win Scenario/ AUs: Modern, Coffee shop, Vampire etc.

Day 5-Feb 20th: Engineering/ S3E5 Imposters/ Drabble or short fic

Day 6-Feb 21st: Fears/ S3E6 The Bounty/ Post-canon

Day 7-Feb 22nd: Gumption/ S3E7 Dominion/ 3&1 or 5&1

Day 8-Feb 23rd: Holodeck/ S3E8 Surrender/ Friends to lovers or sex pollen

Day 9-Feb 24th: Knives/ S3E9 Vox/ Crossover (with anything)

Day 10-Feb 25th: Lucky number ten/ S3E10 The Last Generation/ Trapped (in the turbolift, or anywhere)

Guidelines:

All fanwork welcome: art, gifset, fics, crafty stuff, we love it all

Use any of the three daily prompts, or of course you can use two or three of them if you like

It's okay to mix prompts from different days, such as Holodeck(day 8) and trapped(day 10) and you can post on whichever day you want

You do not need to make something for all ten days! Pick just one day or more than one. Post your creation to tumblr on that date.

For the episode prompt you can make anything to do with that episode: gifset, missing scene fic, etc.

Post your creation (or a link to your creation) on tumblr

Tag @liamshawday and we will reblog!

Any ships welcome, please tag

If you post an entire fic or chapter on tumblr use a readmore

NSFW welcome, please tag “nsfw” on your tumblr post/use appropriate tags on ao3

If you post a fic on ao3 please add it to the “Liam Shaw Day 2024” collection

*No Shaw hate please, we know some people don’t like this character, but we would like to keep this event positive. (We also know how to block and will.)

#liam shaw #captain liam shaw #star trek #star trek picard #liam shaw day

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gatheringfiki · 5 months

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GatheringFiKi - Events Calendar 2024

By popular demand, we present to you our best laid plans for the upcoming months!

10th of February 2024 - Kink + H/C Bingos - Announcement

17th of February 2024 - Kink + H/C Bingos - Cards posted, Collections open

17th of Feb - 17th of Mar 2024 - Kink + H/C Bingos - Stories/art posted

30th of March 2024 - AUpocalypse - Announcement

30th of March - 28th of April 2024 - AUpocalypse - Stories/art posted

18th of May 2024 - FiKi Week - Announcement (Themes/Prompts)

22nd - 28th of June 2024 - FiKi Week - Stories/art posted

27th of July 2024 - Drabble Challenge 8 - Announcement

3rd - 4th of August 2024 - Drabble Challenge 8

24th of August 2024 - Durin’s Day Gift Exchange - Announcement (min. 10 people sign up, otherwise it won't run)

24th - 31st of August 2024 - Durin’s Day Gift Exchange - Sign-ups

31st of August 2024 - Durin’s Day Gift Exchange - Pairs announced

3rd of October 2024 - Durin’s Day Gift Exchange - Works are due

12th of October 2024 - Trick or Treat - Announcement

19th - 31st of October 2024 - Trick or Treat - Prompts available

16th of November 2024 - 12 Days of Christmas - Announcement, Photosets available

13th - 24th of December 2024 - 12 Days of Christmas - Photosets/stories/art posted

A few comments, to give context to the calendar above:

There will be fewer events in 2024 than in our peak periods, but more than we thought there would be! We've gone by the Survey, to ensure all the top-scoring ones make an appearance in 2024.

However, next year we will try to mix it up and re-visit some of the events that didn't make it this year, or some new ones. Except 12 Days of Christmas and the FiKi Week - those are a given.

If you are into Britchell/Mitchers, please be aware that there is also the Britchell Tumblr organising events related to that pairing. Go, check them out. We've tried to make sure that the events don't clash - which is why we have some gaps.

Our sidebar on GatheringFiKi has been updated accordingly with links to this calendar and latest events. ;)

Hope this helps! Stay tuned for further details in due course :)

~gatheringfiki

#GatheringFiKi #Events Calendar 2024 #Fili/Kili #FiKi #The Hobbit #Durincest #Mitchers #Britchell #DarkHawk

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tamapalace · 3 months

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Bandai Japan Releases Tamagotchi Bookmark Collection!

After being announced back in late November 2023, Bandai Japan has announced that the bookmarks are now available! These are definitely a must have for a reader with a love of Tamagotchi! The bookmarks are designed and manufactured by the Bandai Life Division, which focuses on delivering character goods.

The collection features 2 different types of bookmarks, including 2 secret types that will feature special foil stamping. Bandai Japan has not reveled the secret types, but we’re sure that fans will post pictures of them once they get their hands on them.

The official release date is February 24th, 2024 and these bookmarks are priced at ¥110 including tax nationwide in Japan. You can learn more about them here.

#tamapalace #tamagotchi #tmgc #tamatag #virtualpet #bandai #bookmarks #tamagotchibookmarkcollection #tamagotchi bookmark collection #bookmark #release

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er1chartmann · 3 months

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The Battle of Stalingrad in pictures.

Soviet soldiers in action in 1942 during the battle

German soldiers in the steppe with the support of a StuG III

Two non-commissioned officers of the 24th Panzer Division in action in the area of the southern station of Stalingrad on 15 September 1942.

Soviet soldiers during the clashes in the city.

Soviet T-34 tank crews prepare for Operation Uranus

German prisoners marching in the snow towards the collection camps in the rear

The term ''Battle of Stalingrad'' refers to the hard fighting that took place during the Second World War which, between the summer of 1942 and 2 February 1943, pitted the soldiers of the Red Army against the German, Italian, Romanian and Hungarians for control of the strategic region between the Don and the Volga and the important political and economic center of Stalingrad (now Volgograd), on the eastern front.

Sources:

Wikipedia: Battle of Stalingrad

Military Wiki: Battle of Stalingrad

I DON'T SUPPORT NAZISM,FASCISM OR ZIONISM IN ANY WAY, THIS IS JUST AN EDUCATIONAL POST

#reichblr #ww2 germany #ww2 history #studyblr #austrian painter #battle of stalingrad #ww2

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plantinghobbies · 3 months

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The Same Damn Thing - Part 3

Haven’t read the previous parts? Catch up here!

@solipsisticno1 and I are so grateful to everyone who’s read and supported our little Valentine’s collab that has (to absolutely no one’s surprise) taken almost the entirety of February to get three parts done. But we are halfway there! Hope you enjoy!

Part 3: “…I knew you’d haunt all of my what if’s” - Taylor Swift——————————————————————————————————

Val avoids him after that, volunteering for work trips no one else wants. A day here, two days there add up to weeks before she knows it. It’s harder when she’s in the office but not impossible. She’s the first out of the conference room after a meeting, flying out the door with her nose in her phone in case he follows her. And the last one there at night, only leaving her office after she knows he’s gone for the day. She’s subsisting on non-perishable foods for lunch and is shocked she hasn’t developed a UTI from holding it all day but both these bleak realities are better than the thought of being alone with him again. Of the whoosh in her stomach as it drops when she sees him, the heat that pools seemingly everywhere at the thought of what almost happened. What did happen.

Before she knows it, it’s May and her mum is texting her to ask whether she’s coming home on the 24th. Val dreads the day each year. Not the actual anniversary of her sister’s death (though that’s the worst day of the year) but the one where she disappoints her parents again by saying she won’t be there with them to relive the worst day of their lives. It’s not that they’ll be alone - her aunt always comes down and Val’s cousin who lives in town stops by - but she knows it’s not the same. The first year she had tried, but everything in her told her it wasn’t where she needed to be. After they went to bed, Val had thrown her bag in the car, driving until her mind subconsciously brought her back to the last place she’d felt close to Marin - physically and metaphorically. The calm that engulfed her when she stepped onto the damp grass of the courtyard felt like a relief and a selfish indulgence at the same time.

Ever since then, Val had come back to campus every year on the anniversary, making up work trips and last minute emergencies to avoid telling her mom the truth - that being home with them didn’t bring her anywhere near the comfort that being there did. That the best times of her life were at uni that year.

The 24th dawns with a bright sun and cloudless sky. There’s a slight chill in the air as Val catches the train to her destination, wrapping her hands up in the long sleeves of her jacket. It’s not even 7:30 when she makes it to campus, wanting to avoid the Saturday early birds at the farmers market that wasn’t there when she was in school.

Lying down in the grass under her favorite tree, she tries to remember the bits of advice she picked up in the grief group that she’d gone to for a few months. Use the day to remember old memories, but also to make new ones, your loved one is always with you. (Val’s not sure that she believes that but she has pictured Marin standing beside her during particularly difficult times over the years and it has helped).

Flashes of memories play against her eyelids - Halloween when the whole group had dressed up as Mario Kart characters, complete with little cardboard cars that had been left in a pile by the dumpster of their favorite bar after they couldn’t squeeze into the booth with them on. Marin’s face when Val had given her her secret Santa gift - a limited edition of Mary Oliver’s first collection that Val had spent three months saving every penny she had to pay for (worth it). Matty’s and Marin’s drunken duet of Ain’t No Mountain High Enough, cackling when Matty’s voice cracked around the high notes, his indignant claims that he was sick, not just shit at karaoke.

The memories transport her back, so vivid that Matty’s voice sounds like it’s right next to her.

“Val? Val, you ok?” A hand wraps around her shoulder gently and she bolts up to sitting, throwing an elbow out on instinct that catches the offender with a low “umph.” It sounds familiar.

The “fuck me” he whispers lowly confirming what she already knew. A part of her wants to keep her eyes closed - to continue to live in her memories instead of face the reality in front of her. Out of sight, out of mind.

“Ummm listen I didn’t mean to….” No such luck.

Her eyes peel open slowly, blinking against the heavy sun. Sunglasses would have been smart. He’s crouched in front of her, one hand on the ground to balance himself, the other resting on his knee (the bad one. Val remembers the brace he had to wear for weeks after he twisted it trying to learn football tricks to prove he was better at it than James).

“What are you doing here?” The accusation in her voice isn’t intentional but he reacts to it, steeling his shoulders and leaning back away from her.

“Same thing you are I reckon.” A smile pulls at his lips before he seems to think better of it and tugs it back in.

Of course, the one year that she is actively trying to avoid him, they end up here at the same time. She’s not surprised he had the same idea, he always did like ceremony. “Do you, umm, do you want to grab a coffee? Talk? Or not talk?” She is surprised by the invitation, her behavior over the last few months wasn’t exactly hospitable. But then again, neither was his.

He looks lost, eyes sunken into heavy bags as he gazes up at her through his lashes. She wonders how long they’ve been there. His fingers twitch around a cigarette the isnt’ there. She shouldn’t, she shouldn’t, she - “Uh yea, sure.” Clearly he’s retained his ability to charm her into doing things against her better judgment.

They walk to an old haunt where he used to sing at open mic nights, the destination unspoken between them. It’s only when they’re sat face to face, steaming mugs between them, that she realizes the mistake she’s made. Her other interactions with him since the incident (as she’s taken to calling it in her head) have been short, work-related, no direct eye contact or conversation needed.

It seems it’s dawning on him as well. Matty traces the rim of his mug and then clears his throat.

“I uh I -“ He mutters something under his breath that sounds like “Christ man” before continuing “Uh, how’s the rest of your day been?”

Val snorts as she looks up at him but he beats her to a retort “Fuck me, I’m sorry, dumbest question ever. Don’t answer that. I just - I don’t know what to say after - “

“Don’t.” It comes out sharper than she intended. But she can’t think of that night, of what Marin would think. Not today at least. Maybe not ever.

They’re plunged into silence once again. Matty fidgets and crosses his leg, knocking the bag over that Val hadn’t noticed he’d been carrying until now.

“What’s that?” She knows he hates small talk but chickens out for safe ground.

“Baby onesie from the bookstore.” Her eyebrow arches, eyes flitting between him and the bag. “No, not what you’re thinking. Not for me. For the kid. I mean, not for my kid, I don’t have one.” He’s always been cute when he rambles. Fuck. “It’s for James’ baby.”

Her surprise must show on her face. “Oh I didn’t realize he had one?”

“Yea, just a few days ago. He and his husband - he’s a great guy, you’d like him. As patient as you’d imagine you’d have to be to put up with Jay.” His voice bears no judgement though it’s clear he knows that she hasn’t kept up with anyone beyond perfunctory texts. It’s not that she’d gone out of her way to cut ties. But after she’d transferred schools, it became so easy to pretend she was someone else - someone who knew what they were doing, someone who didn’t pine after a guy who didn’t want her (at least not in the way she wanted). Someone who hadn’t lost her favorite person (people, really). She liked that version of herself - confident, detached, focused - more than the sad, lonely, and depressed reality that she was trying so hard to hide. And her friends would have seen right through her. So she kept them from seeing.

It’s the odd silence that draws Val out of her thoughts and back to the table. Right, Matty had been talking about James. “Aaah so he hasn’t slowed down with age?”

The smile he gives her then is small but warm. “Nope, far from it. I think the older he gets, the more frantic he gets about the number. Trying to squeeze as much wild shit in as possible. I mean, it’s crazy but life is short, you kn-

Val watches as he pulls up, looking for all the world like he wanted to shovel the words back down his throat. Eyes flitting everywhere but her face.

“I mean -“ On instinct, her hand is covering his, not able to see him anxious even after all these years.

“Matty, I think we both know.”

He cocks his head at her hand, and she pulls it back. Aware that it’s the first time they’ve touched since That Night.

“Can we talk about something else? Please.” God she’s a prick but after a morning spent solely focused on sad, she needs some relief. Hopes he won’t mind.

He snaps his jaw shut, clearly taken aback with the desperation in her voice. “Uh, yea, course. I’m sure it’s tough to think about today…” (Truth is, she could talk about Marin all day. Matty and Marin, that was a different story).

Eye contact seems to be hard for both of them, each flitting around for something to distract from the heavy intimacy that has settled over them. God, why did she say yes to this. Their relationship - she indulges herself with using that term to describe it - is one third rail topic after another.

And just like so many times before, Matty throws her a lifeline. “Did you hear that I’m still office snooker champion?”

The laugh she barks out startles the sleeping baby at the table next to her, both of its mothers sending her death glares as the hiccuping cries begin. “What the fuck? How’d that happen?”

A cheshire grin settles on Matty’s features as he leans in conspiratorially “Fucking cheaters. They got Dawes - he was judging, remember? Well they got him drunk and then kept fudging the score. Someone caught them and turned them into the party police.”

Val settles against the back of her chair, crossing her arms. “It was you, wasn’t it?”

His laugh sends a spark from her ears to her toes. “Now what would give you that impression.”

“Besides the fact that I saw you bring Dawes four rounds of shots?”

“I think you’re mistaken.”

“Even if I was, there’s no one else who cares enough about that competition to go through the trouble of reporting that.” Matty’s eyes narrow as she points at him, following the path of her fire-engine red nail. “Except you.”

The grin he was trying to suppress earlier breaks free. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She’d missed his mischievous look, like the cat that swallowed the canary.

“Oh well my mistake then.”

“Too right.”

Another memory.“You remember when Daisy tried to impress that guy and ended up needing to replace the whole top of the snooker table at Shea’s?”

“Oh my god - and we all nearly went broke because of it. Who the fuck knew felt could cost that much?” Matty says, raising his mug to his lips before realizing it was empty. He sets it down gently, looking between his mug and her forehead (he’s struggling to look at her, which would offend her if she wasn’t also mesmerizing his hairline right back). “Umm I’m getting another. You want one?”

The line had grown substantially since they’d come in, giving her plenty of time to observe him as he waited with their mugs. More time than she allowed herself at work, always worried about people’s noses stares and misguided assumptions about their relationship. There’s that word again. Time had been good to him, preserved his boyish good looks but filled them out, added a little ruggedness that was laughable when she thought back on how posh he’d grown up. Matty had struck up a conversation with the woman in front of him (of course he had) and not for the first time, Val wonders what he’s been up to since uni. Who he’s been spending his time with, the information that she can’t get from LinkedIn and the abandoned social media accounts she found one night after a few glasses of wine. He was always charming but watching him try to pull (she assumes, the woman looks like his type) now, she can see the quiet confidence that wasn’t there all those years ago when they sat in this dingy coffee shop, splitting pastries for lunch to save cash so they’d be able to buy more drinks at the pub later. That time seems like a million years ago now.

Val wishes that she could have outgrown her crush on him like she’d outgrown so many other things from that time. She didn’t need to flirt with the barista for free leftovers at the end of the day, could afford the good gin instead of the rail shit that was so bitter that she had to chase it with fries. Adulthood had changed a lot - but not everything. Her eyes still find him in any room they’re in, her laughter still bubbles up at his dark jokes, and her heart still stutters when Matty’s lips twitch into a soft, familiar smile when his gaze catches hers. Like it is right now. Fuck.

It’s not even worth pretending that she wasn’t staring as he makes his way back over, her eyes tracking his moves as he weaves around student’s backpacks and groups of friends huddled around a table meant for just two.

“Jesus, that took forever.” Tea dribbles over the lip of the mug as he passes it to her.

“Well, seemed like you enjoyed the company while you waited.” It was supposed to sound teasing but comes out with a hint of possessiveness that she hopes he misses. “You get her number?” Great save, Val.

Matty cocks his head at her comment, that knowing gaze of his back in full force. “Um noooo. She asked if I’d been here before, couldn’t decide between the sticky bun and the chocolate croissant. I told her to go with the sti-

“Sticky bun” they chime at the same time.

“Exactly. Told her she should go with that unless she liked the taste of stale poo in a dry diaper. Then the croissant would be the obvious choice.”

“Ewww” Val’s nose turns up at the visual. “I can’t believe she was charmed by that.”

Matty’s eyebrow perks up. “Oh, she was, was she?”

“Fuck off, like you didn’t know. They could probably see the bedroom eyes she was giving you from bloody space.”

The shirt he’s wearing rides up as he crosses his hands behind his head, subtle flex in his biceps. “Well, looks like I still got it.”

Doesn’t she know it. Flashbacks of the incident erupt behind her eyes. His hand up her skirt. His filthy words. His fingers as he sucked them clean of her. No no no no no.

Attacking his ego feels like safer ground. “Yes, congratulations, you can still pull undergrads.”

Matty opens his mouth to retort but then looks around, clocking the other patrons as if for the first time. “Jesus, was she that young? I can’t tell anymore.”

The same thought had occurred to Val every year she’d come back here. “I know, right?! I feel like we were younger at that age.” She risks a glance up at him, finds his warm eyes focused on her. “If that makes any sense…”

“Yea, I get it.” Matty always seemed to get it, to get her.

Val isn’t sure if it’s the familiar surroundings or the memories that they unlock, but as they talk, the tension that laced each word when they first sat down is easing. Enough that she remembers the man in front of her, the kind of person he was. Is still probably. She’s flooded with feelings, confusing ones that have her heart in her throat, but also comforting ones, friendly ones, nostalgic ones. She missed this. Missed him. She wonders if he feels it too.

A comfortable lull settles over them. The half-empty sugar packet spills onto the table as she fiddles with it. For the first time since they reentered each other’s lives, it feels easy to talk to him.

She takes a deep breath, “Listen, I -“

Just as he starts to say “About that night -“

Their words collide and they fall silent again. For the first time in she doesn’t know how long (yes she does), the fog of loneliness that followed her around like an imaginary friend had lifted. She felt lighter, the world a little less gray. She wanted to hold onto that feeling and he was going to fuck it all up. What would she even say?! Oh, that night? You mean the one where I almost exposed my years long lo- CRUSH - on you? Came on to you? At our workplace? Mistook your concern for interest, like I always have. That night?! Nope, no memory of it at all. The feminist in her - who sounds an awful lot like Marin - screams that this isn’t a completely accurate characterization, it taking two to tango and all. But Val’s also a champion at self-criticism - Olympic gold-level really - and she’s the one who’d drunkenly started it. She can’t blame him for trying to finish it, even if it was a monumentally stupid idea.

The tension was back. She needed to get control of the conversation. “You first.” Always a gentleman. A good man. Someone she needed to have in her life again, even if it’s not in exactly the way that she wants.

“I was going to say, I uh I missed this. Us.” Her chair scrapes as she sits up with the force of gathering her courage for the next part. She’s spent almost ten years rehearsing her next words, in texts she never sent. The words tumble out of her before she can lose her nerve. “I’m sorry I was such a shit friend back then - “She throws up a hand to silence the retort she knows is on the tip of his tongue. “No, just don’t. I was, even if I had a good reason.”

He sits back, palms up in response. “But I’m here now and I’d like a second chance at it. Being friends again…..if you’ll let me, I mean.”

The breath she takes gets stuck somewhere around her ribs, probably because her heart is in her throat. Please Matty. I need this, need to feel like I haven’t fucked everything in my life up. I still haven’t figured out exactly how to be around you but I’m trying. Just give me time. I promise, nothing that you have to go to HR about.

She used to be able to read him so well, curses herself once again for the distance between them that makes understanding his expression now impossible. Matty hasn’t taken his eyes off her, squinting his right eye as if looking for something.

Val’s just about to word vomit something out onto the table when he clears his throat, putting her out of her misery. “Yea, uhm, I mean, yea. Course we can.“

Relief is palpable, she understands that phrase now, her shoulders sinking down from her hairline with his words. Thank god.“Good. Then I won’t feel bad about telling you that I forgot my wallet and I need you to buy me a sticky bun.”

His laugh, she thought, that’s what she’d missed most of all.

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