Valentine and Luke - he was my best friend. This is a joke?

Thinking about this couple, I feel a taste of tragedy and misunderstanding.

"I should be with you," Lucian said, the merriment faded from his voice. He sounded pained at the thought of Valentine venturing into dangerous territory without him, and Robert understood. Parabatai didn't always fight side by side--but knowing your parabatai was in danger, without you there to support and protect him? It caused an almost physical pain. And Lucian and Valentine's parabatai bond was even more intense than most. Robert could almost feel the current of power flowing between them, the strength and love they passed back and forth with every glance. "Where you go, I go." — The Evil We Love, — Cassandra Clare, Robin Wasserman.

This is probably the only duet in the books that does not fit in my head. They weren't just best friends, they were parabatai! Judging by the stories about the circle, even in his youth, Luke was distinguished by a certain kindness and justice, and the immoral Valentine is next to him. What can they have in common? Unless Jocelyn...

Valentine, who was such a good judge of people, should have initially realized that his best friend was crazy about Jocelyn. Everyone saw it. And he seems to have married her out of spite, and then tried to kill his parabatai out of jealousy and paranoia, he framed him, betrayed him!

And blames Luke for everything.

“But that was years ago,” said Valentine in a voice like raw silk, “and since then, you’ve hardly had need of a knife, have you? Not when you have claws and fangs at your disposal.” “All the better to tear your heart out with.” Valentine shook his head. “You tore my heart out years ago,” he said, and even Clary could not tell if the sorrow in his voice was real or feigned.  — City of Bones, — Cassandra Clare

Valentine betrayed him, although for some reason Morgenstern is sure that it was Lucian who abandoned him, well, this is so in the spirit of Valentine. Everyone is bad, but I am good. (They would definitely have made friends with Tatiana! That's whose friendship I can imagine). But kind, understanding, loving Lucian and the monstrous Valentine, who more resembles not a man, but an animated statue (no wonder he is constantly compared to this)? No wonder they got divorced. A very strange couple.

He had approached Valentine’s body and was looking down at it, his face a study in conflicting emotions — there was relief there, but also regret and even sorrow. In death, Valentine’s face had lost its hardness and for the first time Clary saw what her mother had once been drawn to about him, saw how he might have seemed gentle and even kind. As Luke knelt down beside his corpse, Clary couldn’t help but remember what he had said about having loved Valentine once, about having been his closest friend. Luke, she thought with a pang. Surely he couldn't be sad — or even grieved? But then again, perhaps everyone should have someone to grieve for them, and there was no one else to grieve for Valentine. Luke knelt where he was for a long moment. At last he reached out and with a gentle hand, closed Valentine's eyes. "Ave atque vale, Shadowhunter," he said. — Valentine and Luke's farewell, remote version

Oh, Luke… would you say goodbye and regret something, standing over the corpse of the man who turned your life into hell?

Another proof of how good-natured he is, and how unlucky he is with parabatai.

Clarissa Adele Diggle

"She always tries to do what’s right, and she never lets anyone else tell her what right is. She reminds my parabatai that he wants to live. Occasionally I wish she’d take fewer mad risks, but if I hated reckless crazy-brave people, I’d hate..." - Alec.

Clarissa Diggle born Fairchild, born 23.08.1998, is the Shadowhunter daughter of Jocelyn Fray and the notorious Valentine Morgenstern. For years, Clary lived a mundane life with Jocelyn, until the return of her father and her brother, Jonathan, exposed her to a new world, throwing their lives out of balance as Clary found herself on a journey with her fellow Shadowhunters to stop them.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Married to the most wonderful human and the love of my life @xknightwatchx {l4.o6.2o22 - ol.o7.2o22 - 24.o7.2o22 ❤️ 𝑡𝑜𝑑𝑎𝑦, 𝑡𝑜𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑜𝑤, 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑒𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑡𝑦 ♾️}

Pregnant ❤️

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

No matter what age I am I'll always need you mom @nephilimbyblood ❤️

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

Your the duckling to my kitty Onesie @frozenvibing 🧡

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀

As a result of her father's experiments, Clary possesses more angel blood than other Shadowhunters and, through this, the ability to recall powerful, ancient runes not written in the Gray Book.

Clary is a beautiful young girl with bright red hair and a slim build. Her clothing style is generally simple and conservative.

Since meeting and becoming one of the Shadowhunters, Clary now has a number of runes burned into various parts of her body.

Clary is headstrong, stubborn, and fiery. She is also intelligent and creative. She loves and cares deeply about her family and her friends and is loyal to them above all others.

Having not been raised with the typical Shadowhunter prejudice and rules, she is often at odds with the more traditional Shadowhunters in the Institute, over issues regarding mundanes and Downworlders, strict adherence to rules and protocol, and their generally self-centered culture. Unlike most Shadowhunters, who defend innocents out of a sense of duty, Clary does so without hesitation because she wants to.

She is also an artist like her mother, Jocelyn. She keeps a notepad of paper where she often draws out her emotions and feelings through pictures, her version of a diary, just using pictures instead of words. ➰

✎... lost her runes and memories of the shadow world a few years ago, but got them back and chose a life in the mundane world.

✎... a part of @arrowversefake ⚡️🏹➰

-> Hauptsächlich abends anwesend. Tagsüber etwas sporadisch hier. Antworten können sich bis dahin verzögern.

Inside TMI Gang's diaries part 5 2/3

Clary: Dear diary, I ran away with Jace, mom won't be happy, but I have to save my Jace. Simon is covering for me, although that won't last long and mom may go mama bear on him, I do love him though and I'll owe him one. So far things have been weird, seeing Jace get along with Sebastian is strange and I don't like it, and Sebastian is as evil as ever, i miss Jace so much, this Jace isn't my Jace. And Sebastian doesn't trust me I know this for a fact, but I don't trust him either and you better watch your back Sebastian.

*Later*

So Jace's room is the same as it always is, so clean not a mess, everything is neat, but he isn't Jace. We went on a date, Sebastian let us cause Jace would be with me, Jace cam speak italian and hates ducks, I'll have to mention this stuff when he is my Jace again, we stole a boat but that's nothing new from what we usually do, the date was nice but I felt guilty for enjoying it, when we came back Sebastian was occupied and creepy, anyway, we had a talk when I woke up later and he is starting to confuse me, but that's what he wants. I went back to bed and got up again, also Jace can make eggs, I don't like them but can't tell him that, also I wonder if he can cook other things, need to make a list of things to ask him when he's back to normal Jace. We also read a copy of his ancestor's book.

*Later later*

Me, Jace and Sebastian, went on a mission kind of thing, Simon calls us team Evil, we fought a demon, and I actually kicked a demons butt, Sebastian took us to a kinda night club, me and Jace got high, Sebastian told me I have a dark heart and like bitch whatever. Me and Jace made out in the club and uh things kinda got outta control, I am not proud, ok, I thought I saw dead people and passed out, I woke up to Sebastian leaving and followed him, demons almost killed me and he saved me, what is he doing? I lost my ring and can't get in contact with Simon, everything is bad and maybe this is all hopeless, no, I just need coffee, sweet sweet coffee, I need a coffee high *coffee/knife/serious emoji*

Possessed Jace: Dear diary, things are good, Sebastian keeps giving me weird looks when I am with Clary though, Sebastian we are still cool though don't worry. Clary is here and it's nice, I want her to be happy and her to have whatever she wants, I am gonna be so romantic but cool about *sunglasses emoji* I am Jace Lightwood, and extremely smooth and she loves me.

*Later*

I took Clary on a date and I nailed it *sunglasses emoji* we went back home after that and I read to her and we went to sleep, after that we went on a mission, my fire goddess kicked ass, and Sebastian took us to a night club place to take care of evil stuff, me and Clary got high and we did some things at the night club. In the morning I made her eggs, I'll make her eggs all the time, Sebastian wants to discuss evil plans now.

Trapped Jace: *sharpening knives* just wait you little shit, keep looking at Clary like that and I'll stab you, I am gonna beat you up, you shall know my wrath, and I will bring it upon you. *Knife/murderous emoji*

Sebastian: Dear evil diary, what can I say, the fruit of evil is ripe, I have evil plans, I have Jace under my finger, I have Clary now too, and soon she'll understand. Jace will do anything I say and Clary will do anything for him, love truly does make one weak. And I wi burn shit. Also maybe I'll play with stuff as well. *Devil emoji*

*Later*

We got into a fight and Clary can kick ass, maybe I underestimated her a tiny little bit. We went to a night club and I talk to Meliorn and I do believe the fair folk will stand with me, and after all I do have something with the queen, and I know what you are going to say what about Jace? Well you see Jace is my backup plan he has no idea ;)

Alec: Dear diary, still sneaking around, Jace is still gone, Clary is gone now too, Jocelyn is angry and I know why she scares Jace now, Izzy and Simon are something, Idk but my big brother instincts are kicking in. Jocelyn and Izzy went to the Iron Sisters and found out there isn't a weapon to separate Jace from Sebastian, unless it is of heaven itself or something. *Shrug emoji*

*Later* so we summoned a demon, and then a greater demon, what have we become? I'll do whatever it takes to save Jace, but like when did we start summoning demons and greater demons like it's not a big deal? I think we've lost our minds, and we are also now apparently going to summon Raziel, what are we doing, but it's for Jace. Also Magnus does look good in his outfit today but there is stuff between us. When did life get so complicated? *shrug emoji*

Magnus: Dear diary, welcome back to the crazy chaotic would of Shadowhunters, I may have lost Clary, but it's not my fault she can make portals, I see an angry Jocelyn in my future. Alec is kinda weird lately but it's probably nothing, Isabelle and Jocelyn were going to the Iron Sisters to see if there is a weapon that can separate Jace and Sebastian, blondie needs to come back so all this Shadowhunter drama will calm down.

*Later*

We summoned a demon and after that we summoned the greater demon Azazel, the little shit almost told Alec who my father is, and I swear what have I gotten myself into? Oh! Also apparently we are gonna summon an Angel now, I have a feeling we'll all be dead by the end of this, it's a miracle we haven't died already, I have to do research and stuff, also Sheldon saved my cat so I am thankful for that, Isabelle and Simon have something going on, Jocelyn is gone, and I want to drink and drink, cause Magnus is done bitches. But also Alec is looking beautiful today. *throws glitter* *sunglasses emoji*

Izzy: Dear diary, Simon came to me like I asked him to, and he told me about starwars or something, I don't remember the plot exactly but I think they had something called lifesavers???? Or something, also they are apparently in space which is cool, and the good guys win. Also me and Jocelyn went to the Iron Sisters and they said I would make a good one but like bish ya girl needs her heels, idk what has gotten into me lately, but when I think about Simon I feel happy and I get this feeling and I want to spend time with him and hear him talk endlessly about starwars cause he is so passionate about it. *Confused emoji*

*Later*

We may have kinda summoned a demon, and then a greater demon, and now we may kinda be getting ready to summon an angel we are on our way to Luke's farm so yeah. . . But yeah, Simon may die and idk what to do... *Blank emoji*

Simon: Dear diary, life just doesn't seem to be letting up, first Clary ran off to do reckless shit, Jace is literally possessed by her evil Brother and is like a puppet, Jocelyn is mad I didn't stop Clary, but honestly who can stop Clary?!?! — Izzy went off to the Iron sister earlier with Jocelyn before she found out Clary was gone and apparently they can't make a weapon to separate Jace and Sebastian without killing them both, this is the part where that intense action yet hopeless music would start playing. *Nerd emoji*

*Later* I told Izzy the plot of Starwars and she listened and laughed and said it was neat, she said It was neat and even though it is so much more than neat for some reason her just listening to me talk about it made me so happy, she may become a fan *Shooketh emoji* but also we summoned a demon, and then a greater demon and now we are going to summon an angel to try and get the angel Michael's sword called glorious cause it's apparently the only weapon that will work, but I may die so rip, but also please let everything be alright but also I do have the mark of cain it's just a matter of if it works. *Worried emoji*

Church: Dear Cat diary, I come to you with the heavy weight of the most fucking done I have ever been, Jem is still hasn't come and saved me, Herondale is still possessed and honestly I am done, fire ball ran away, archer boy is off doing shit, Izzy is falling in love now too and I thought she would be the one who wouldn't like girl love drama? And Simon is probably contributing to whatever chaotic plan fire ball has. evil shit is probably off doing evil shit, where's that sweet little boy? Gone! Because an ass had to be an ass. Sorry I need to control my emotions, I just miss Jem so much, and these kids are driving me crazy, also Magnus you are contributing as well now,Jem Jem Jem pls. Anyway I am gonna go sharpen my claws and eat tuna and drown my sorrows in tuna. *Cat/tuna/murderous emoji*

Tag list: @khaleesiofalicante @chibi-tsukiko @megs-readstoomuch @spotsandclawsthings @magnus-the-maqnificent @replayfootsteps @sarcasticmalecfan @simply-ellas-stuff @my-archerboy

Alec’s birthday weekend celebration 🥰 Day 2 // free space. TLBOTW review

I havent’t seen a review for the book, only critics/praising and comments on specific moments, so I’m here to do a proper analysis.

This book has many perks and a few lows and I’d like to talk about both. I’ll start with the lows to end on a positive note. Surfing on the internet I’ve read that the plot feels a bit rushed, and I have to agree. I had the impression that the whole book serves the sole purpose of introducing Sammael and showing the last scene with all the princes of hell. Everything that leads to that (the thorn, the two swords then merging into one, the trip to Diyu, Shanghai and the false tracks) were born and died in this book and it felt like they were not well integrated with the TSC universe, they were just there to write something that could realistically lead to the final moment. The two swords Alec and Magnus carry are literal Gods that we’ve never heard before, they use them one time and then they’re gone. You don’t introduce something this powerful that carries so much weight just to shrug it off after one use, one use that doesn’t even involve the sake of our main characters (and why did only Alec have to be tested to prove his worth? both Alec and Magnus got a sword 🤔 that’s something I didn’t understand at all, if you know it feel free to explain in the comments) Another example of this are the two guardians of Diyu, the demons that heal constantly touching the ground of hell, apparently undefeatable. You don’t introduce something like that and kill it off in half a chapter, it’s anticlimactic. And you don’t hype up the father of all demons and then you get him defeated by Isabelle riding a tiger (come on he should have killed them all in that scene) and, even worse, you make him run away like a common demon after things start getting rough. Shinyu leaves and Sammael is “Fuck this, I’m out.” Bitch, you’re a Prince of hell! You’re the Prince of hell! Stop her! Kill them! WTF dude. Yeah, I think this is the main problem of the book. It introduces these huge elements and then it shrugs them off in the most anticlimactic way possible. The other thing I didn’t like was Ragnor’s reaction to Raphael’s dead. Ragnor probably isn’t one to make a fuss, but ffs they were extremely close friends. In TBC Ragnor scolds Magnus because Raphael calls him much more than Magnus does, they exchanged letters, calls, gossip, they used to have meetings, in GOTSM we see them greeting eachother with a high five, and we know how Raphael gets, he’s not so openly friendly even with Magnus and he died for him. They weren’t friends, they were great friends. All we get is a “he passes all stages of grief at once” and “I liked him // He liked you too”. Ohhhhhhhh and a “every war has a life count” like WHAT THE FUCK Seriously? Okay.

Well, what I didn’t like is over so let’s start with the perks. I’ve read many times that the characters are ooc. Jace feeling down because he has a broken foot and he can’t fight (Jace Herondale would never avoid a fight for a broken bone!!!), Simon feeling insecure (the first time he went down to hell things were even worse and he didn’t make such a fuss!!!), Alec calling Magnus pet names (it’s not like him he never did it!!!) and I’ll tell you this: At first I had this impression too, but in the long run I don’t think it’s fair to say those things. The TMI gang we know is younger, less mature, a teenage rebel gang. We read about the grown up them in other spin off books or in TDA, that’s for sure, but not as main characters, just as cameos, so it feels weird to see them as grownups. We thought we were familiar with them but we don’t feel the same familiarity anymore and that’s fine. It would be crazy if they were the same people as before. The Jace we knew was reckless, self destructive and didn’t care much if he lived or died. This Jace that doesn’t feel safe fighting with a broken foot and chooses to guide the others with his strategies is a Jace that knows his limits, a Jace that cares about his life and understands that his well being affects others, a Jace that accepts that the fact he can’t fight for once doesn’t make him less worthy. This Jace is the Jace he became, we are not used to it, we don’t recognise him at first, but what he does is perfectly normal. It would have been less realistic if he acted like he would have acted in City of Bones or even City of Heavenly Fire. This Simon is not the Simon he was the first time they went to Hell. That time he was a vampire, he wasn’t expecting to die. That time he cared deeply about Clary, he fancied Isabelle, but that was kind of all of it. Now he cares about Clary yes, but Isabelle is his family. Jace is his family. Magnus and Alec are his family, too. He is worried because he is mortal and because he has much more to lose. He is worried because he just lost a friend and for the first time he has to come to terms with the fact that being a Shadowhunter really means you go out in the morning and you don’t know if you’ll make it to dinner time. And this doesn’t only affect his bestfriend and the girl he dated while he dated some other chick. This affects him, his fiancée, his parabatai and the rest of his family. It’s not like City of Heavenly Fire, it’s okay for Simon to break down like this, it’s not ooc, it’s a character that changed because the story lead him to change. Alec calls Magnus pet names and is affectionate because he is not the closeted angsty teen he was in TMI. He is a father, a man, someone that knows his loved ones support him and someone who doesn’t have to hide. Come on, in GOTSM he showed Magnus’ and Max’s pictures to everyone he’s met, he stops randomly a werewolf girl getting ice cream, points at Magnus and says “See that man? That’s My Husband overthere.” He is not “He’s not my warlock” Alec, he is “That’s my husband” Alec and we aren’t used to it because we’ve never seen him as a main character in other books after his change, but we know this change happened so we can’t have a Pikachu face if Alec says “My love” or kisses him on the street in front of other people. This is not ooc, this is Alec, the same one, the one who is now more than twenty years old and wants to get married and is raising a child and in a few years is becoming consul. It would be absolutely nonsense for him to keep the distance he kept in TMI. Another complain I’ve seen is “not enough Malec and too many characters”. I don’t think there were too many characters and I don’t feel like we hadn’t enough Malec. Yes, the whole TMI gang was there but I liked that, that’s a plus for me. It’s true, Alec and Magnus’ relationship didn’t evolve in this book, they stayed pretty much the same, we don’t see an actual arc like we did in TRSOM but the romance was still there. There’s no need for relationship drama, and a book about romance doesn’t have to be a push and pull to be interesting. We had a lot of romance, but the angst and the challenges came from other people. It was an established relationship book and I think it worked well with it. The exchanges between the characters were genuine, witty, and I feel like every one of them bonded just right. The relationship between Alec and Jace, Simon and Clary, the other two couples, they were all on point and in character and I liked all their interactions. It was really nice to read them all together and I needed this. Now, the Tian discourse. I feel like Cassandra did a great foreshadowing with this one, something that I immediately noticed. In TRSOM I knew the whole time that Shinyun was going to betray them. It was said multiple times that Alec didn’t trust her and when they’re on the boat in Venice coming back from the party Alec is sleeping and still stops Shinyun that was going to touch Magnus waking up for a moment. Alec is really smart at reading people (except for understanding when they’re in love and that’s hilarious). A line that made me go mhhhh🤔 was when the book says “Alec trusted Tian”. Why say that in that way, totally random mid chapter? Why not to say the others trusted Tian too? Magnus at least? Or why to say anything at all? In that moment they weren’t discussing his worth and he hadn’t even started to act weird. The line made no sense. So I wondered if the line wasn’t saying Alec trusted Tian, the line was saying we should trust Tian, because the other time a trip like this happened Alec didn’t trust Shinyun and she turned out to be a total pain in the ass. Another thing I loved was the action. This is what I want from a TSC book, I want demon hunts, magic artifacts, trips to hell, weapon shopping. Our shadowhunters actually shadow hunting. This book had more of it than TRSOM, so kudos to that. To give this rant a end, I enjoyed this book. I enjoyed this book very much. I disagreed with some choices, I disliked some details, but I’m glad I bought it. It brought me back home, and that’s everything I wanted. This family, the TMI family, is a bit like my family now, and they were so much themselves that I couldn’t help but love it.

P.S. The cameos were rad. The parts with Maryse and Kadir were perfect, I adored Elyaas and when I read there was Raphael I screamed.

Been a while since I posted a possibly deranged TLH theory while on coffee withdrawal, so here we go.

I’M PRETTY SURE THE CLAVE IS CORRUPT (at least in some part)

And I’m not talking about the Clave in the Uprising/TDA era being infiltrated by bigots with inexplicable influence, I’m talking about the TLH era Clave, the one where Benedict Lightworm the demon-f***er was an influential figure.

Long ramble below:

A running TSC theme is that the Clave and adults in general appear to be useless or unavailable (hence why the young main characters do most of the important things on a series), but let’s be real, in TID the Clave, in its front, was an actual hassle for anyone trying to solve the issues with Mortmain.

It’s been a long time since I read TID, so I have to admit I could have missed some stuff, but he was, pardon my language, peak dumbass. He seemed more stupidly sexist / anti-Charlotte than likely to be involved with Benedict’s shenanigans (hence why threats of exposing Benedict did get Benedict to shut up about challenging Charlotte). So. Corrupt? Probably. Corrupt in the same sense as Benedict? Probably not.

So where does that leave us? The Clave, at presumably the peak of Mortmain’s run and at least 10 years prior, was being lead by Josiah Wayland, who I just called an idiot. Everything in relation to Tessa was treated with what can only be described as incompetence, and it says a lot that somehow the Downworlder-hating Aloysius Starkweather (rightfully) laughed in their face. So basically, the Clave was useless, and Benedict stood pretty high on their social totem pole.

And we know Benedict had friends in the Council. Who those friends were, is never stated, but they certainly existed. From what we see in TID, the Consul and Inquisitor were probably not among them.

You’re probably wondering, how does this rant lead up to the Clave being corrupt in TLH era, and my answer is, well, 24 years isn’t that long, especially if it’s some degree of ingrained corruption that involves demons.

I feel like the main clue is how much crap Tatiana gets away with. Benedict probably got away with a lot before literally turning into a worm. But we outright see Tatiana doing insane things.

Short list of indefensible things in relation to Tatiana:

Tried to blame the deaths of Rupert and Benedict on the London Institute (she got told off because of the literal Lightworm)

She got all the Lightwood money and stuff for some reason

She refused for her son to be runed. (which people appear to somehow ignore)

She adopts a girl she isn’t related to (despite her having living family)

Keeps both the kids in isolation

There are demons in her greenhouse and no one bats an eye (blame Benedict, yeah, yeah)

She gets caught for necromancy and gets off with a sentence of been sent to the Iron Sisters (and probably only got punished at all because she got exposed in public)

Gets to casually go back to her house to talk to Belial prior to being imprisoned like HOW IS THIS WOMAN LEFT UNSUPERVISED

Now, now, I can’t fully blame her siblings for thinking she’s a distraught, broken woman who lost her husband and son, but it’s almost like she’s purposefully allowed so much freedom so that she can continue doing stuff. And Belial seems confident in his ambiguous attack-from-within plan, so Tatiana will probably have some degree of freedom to do whatever their plan is, even while (allegedly) locked up.

You could argue, maybe they’re just the Clave being dumb, but are we supposed to assume that everything is directly Belial’s fault? Tatiana gets away with an insane amount of rules broken, and it’s not even like she hides it, no, everyone knows she’s the crazy daughter of Lightworm who lost her husband and son and does necromancy, but oh, she’s definitely gonna be safe to send to the Iron Sisters. Definitely.

There has to be a degree of corruption within the Shadowhunter community itself for all of this to be enabled. It’s too ridiculous to be caused purely by incompetence.

And sorry for any typos / fails, I’m not rly ok right now but needed to go do TLH rant theories. >:0

raising hell

figured id keep going so s1 ep 04 here we go

kay first off, noone moves that much in their sleep.

also slightly creepy that she wakes up and simon’s just watching her

somehow, i'm starting to see a similarity in simon and alec, a sentence i never thought i’d say. it’s interesting how they’re both trying to protect against their ‘better half’s’ trusting nature;

simon blames jace for the craziness

alec blames clary for the craziness

yay! magnus bane!

oh nooo, simon don’t leave

am i the only one wondering why jace has training equipment in his room? i mean the institute is filled with this stuff, why does he need a personal one?

so first clary barges into jace’s room which btw is super clean, just like canon, sees him shirtless and apologises (yay for human decency) and then turns her back for him to put his shirt back on? like she’s already seen him, what’s the point? and clearly this is not just me. just look at jace’s smirk.

captain america ha! i should just make a list of all the pop culture references simon makes about jace. also him yelling at jace to do his own homework, pent up rage issues anyone?

‘i’m not saving his ass a second time’ well, he does get kidnapped a lot

‘i think these are my people.’ really? so she’s just gonna turn her back on simon who’s practically her family? for what, the chance to be a shadowhunter? on a further note, how can she expect simon to just stay at the institute all day? i mean won’t his mom be super worried about him?

omg, david guetta’s a vampire. ha!

‘can you focus? this is not a joke?’ yeah, alec needs to meet his future husband.

did izzy just say alec needs to get slayed or laid? because for the latter, he needs to meet the guy first

i can’t help but be irritated every time jace takes the lead in season 1. let me see leader!Alec :(

‘warlock gets around.’ please tell me he isn’t slutshaming a warlock.

hahah. ‘how is it that my most effective asset is the one who’s comatose?’ whoever writes the lines for villains is a god.

also did the fair folk seriously send seelie scouts to chernobyl? ooh, tongue twister! seelies send six scouts spying on chernobyl! ha!

did valentine smell them or something?

oop pangborn dead! oh noo

we stan two positive girls slaying!

jace giving her another blade, let’s hope she remembers to use it this time

‘i was alive when the dead sea was just a lake feeling a little poorly.’ eek! book quote!

reference to tessa gray! yay!

i always hate how guys can get away with a dress shirt and jeans but girls have to wear dresses to parties. but my grumpy archer boy cleans up well.

hahaha. ‘at least now things are interesting.’ imma let alec explain

valentine is alive and actively seeking the mortal cup

he threatens our entire world

we’re helping his daughter (who by the way, we have no reason to trust and who showed up out of nowhere)

we’re gonna end up overpaying some warlock (my future husband) who may or may not have information we need

thus, alec does not find this interesting and does not feel better now (okay, maybe a li’l)

point to be noted: feelings can explode, and not the fun kind of explode according to izzy

simon’s home! also he’s acting like every pasty 15 yo gamer boy who stayed up to late and is now allergic to the sun.

mrs lewis is not ‘one of those moms’.

also maureen is very relatable with her whole ‘i’d like to date you.’ honestly very realistic.

so if all downworlders hang out at hardtail, is it just demons that hang out at pan-demon-ium? ‘cause if so, maybe it means demons love their damned puns

‘Iz, with a body like yours, everything is your colour.’ WE STAN ONE POSITIVE FRIENDSHIP!!!

‘most men like it when i admire their jewels.’ cue jace’s smirk, alec’s eyeroll and clary’s grin

‘magnus bane. so you’re the one who stole my memories.’ she doesn’t have to be such a dick to him. he did it at her mother’s request.

really? ‘i have to confirm it’s authenticity’. jace honestly fell for that?

again, she’s such a dick to him. ‘now it’s your turn to pay up.’ i can’t believe her.

really? dot’s dead? after all the times that woman should have died, i need to see a body

‘i won’t offer again.’ classic magnus. still love him.

‘who are you?’ why, your future husband of course. sorry, i just ship malec so hard. and this whole scene gives me book!malec vibes

“If Jace was gold, catching the light and the attention, Alec was silver: so used to everyone else looking at Jace that that was where he looked too, so used to living in Jace’s shadow that he didn’t expect to be seen. Maybe it was enough to be the first person to tell Alec that he was worth being seen ahead of anyone in a room, and of being looked at longest. And silver, though few people knew it, was a rarer metal than gold.”

the bane chronicles | the course of true love [and first dates]

‘you’re my only hope.’ should’ve treated him as that then. reason #15 why i dislike clary fray

hahaha, the irony behind the cat eye button.

how do they keep murdering circle members? not that i don’t appreciate alec’s timely rescue, but do they never take people alive?

‘we have to go’ jace moves to leave. cue clary just sitting down on a table.

‘i’m catching my breath.’ from what? she literally just got out of a nightclub. this matchstick is killing me.

‘we have risked our lives again and again for this girl and where has it gotten us?’ angry!archer time. also his eye roll when clary goes, ‘hey, i am right here.’ imma just do several dot points on this one scene, cuz it really pisses me off.

‘hey, i am right here, i don’t care about you damn jewellery.’ spoiler alert, neither does he, but chances are that necklace is worth thousands of dollars (a 1857 london townhouse for that matter). that kind of bargaining chip doesn’t come cheap and in exchange for it, they’ve gotten nothing.

‘i’m sorry you’re gonna look bad in front of your bosses.’ damn right he is. alec has a responsibility to bear and she should be glad he isn’t yelling at her. in fact he’s never yelled at her thus far. second, he’s liable for derunement and exile, not to mention the severe humiliation his parents will receive.

‘my mother is still missing and my last chance at finding her just disappeared into thin air.’ i mean, magnus did almost just die from that circle member if alec hadn’t shot him. and second, she should show a little less attitude to the people that are risking their lives and their jobs for her.

‘people are dying because of me. magnus will never come out of hiding again while valentine’s still after him and i will never get my memories back.’ first of all, the only person that died for her is dot (and even that’s unconfirmed). magnus came out of hiding for the necklace, and hotch isn’t dead yet. simon is about to be but clary fixes that anyway

ooh, emeraude’s accent makes a comeback. 

PARABATAI TRACKING!!!

‘of course they are.’ bitch, is she jealous? whaat? ‘this whole parabatai thing seems oddly intimate, if you ask me.’ literally noone asked. also, she could look a little happier that they’ve found a way out of this mess. second, i feel like that’s borderline homophobic, but that might just be me overanalysing again.

‘magnus lives in a warehouse?’ hahaha, the notion that magnus ‘dramatic bitch’ bane lives in a warehouse is insane. he bought a necklace with his townhouse for crying out loud.

also, why do they keep dragging her into these missions? she’s a liability with no training and she’s apparently the most un-athletic matchstick in the world considering she lost her breath exiting a nightclub. then again, clubs are exhausting.

sadistic shadowhunters. that’s nice.

future husbands fighting together warms my soul

were magnus’s first words to alec seriously a steak pun? ‘well done, more like medium rare.’ i love these dumbasses so much.

awww, alec’s first real smile. and the stuttering. it makes my cold, dead heart melt. AND THEN HE RUNS AWAY! GAAA

okay, so this whole magnus and clary thing has more than a few points, can’t wrap it up as neatly as the others but:

first off, he’s giving clary sole credit for saving zoe’s life when really it was all of them. technically she kicked his ass while izzy grabbed him and jace threw a knife in his back.

second, if she hadn’t called him out of hiding, this situation wouldn’t have even come onto him. and as much i hate to stomp on magnus, if he hadn’t been reckless enough to answer the call, they wouldn’t have been in danger.

third, clary is exactly like jocelyn, but for all the wrong reasons. clary uses people, offering them false promises she doesn’t have the capacity to deliver, and exploits anyone who gives her the most basic human decency, refusing to understand the cost at which they do so. (see alec)

fourth, she’s not a real shadowhunter, not without training or experience. that’s like calling a newly enlisted soldier an officer. sure, they’re part of the system, but you can’t send them into battle without an ounce of training. clary barely knows how the chain of command works. so saying, she’s not like the other shadowhunters is ridiculous. obviously she isn’t considering shadowhunters grow up in a society where downworlders are looked down upon. so when she’s introduced to this new world, obviously she looks at them as decent human beings.

‘normally, i love a dirty lair...’ ALEC’S FACE AT THAT HA!

also where’d all the warlocks? because it’s literally just the 5 of them. otherwise, imma have to assume they’re dead.

‘about Alec, is he more of a flower or cologne man?’ magnus’s subtlety is killing me.

‘pretty boy’ alec’s little smile and shrug though aaaa

‘trust no-one, especially the clave’ i mean, i get it but how’s she meant to protect it on her lonesome?

why does jace look so wounded? i’m starting to think he’s a little jealous of not getting hit on. oh nvm it’s cause he has to burn her flesh.

‘this might sting.’ cue clary screaming. i know, i know, i should feel worse about this but if any of you have seen the behind-the-scenes footage from matthew daddario’s twitter profile, you’ll understand. when they were shooting this scene, harry shum jr (magnus bane) was dancing outside and lip-syncing to kat mcnamera’s (clary fray’s) screams. it’s hard to get out of your head.

that pentagram is the most beautiful thing i’ve seen. i never thought i’d say that.

again, subtlety is not magnus’s strengths and i love him for it.

michelangelo

i aspire to be as dramatic as magnus bane is leading a demon-summoning ritual

aww izzy loves alec the most, clary and her mom obv, oh noo, alec and jace, that’s not good

also why does jace look so injured by it?

alec’s panicking, alec’s panicking, ALEC’S PANICKING

f*ck her memories, save jace. im assuming this whole thing is just a plot device to keep stuff spicy and to give clary credit for killing a greater demon.

i have to point out 4 things, you can skip this bit where i just talk about the team as people and how their reactions reveal stuff about them.

alec’s panic over injuries is very controlled which i think says a lot about him as a person where he has to control his reactions, but you can see he feels guilty

izzy instantly looks for any injuries, says a lot about her being more active and level-headed

clary, naturally, panics and looks to magnus for help

magnus sort of strolls over and brushes off his shirt. clearly apathetic about shadowhunter but expects that they’ll ask him to help and is his very cynical self (‘I don't know. Does he normally just lay like that without moving?') which naturally results in a very obnoxious face made by clary

somehow in this moment i feel worse for alec than jace. (maybe cause the latter is loud, arrogant and annoying) the guy’s terrified that he’s been out-ed, guilty about almost killing his parabatai and angry at himself for releasing the demon. and in typical alec fashion, instead of addressing his problems, he watches from a distance and then leaves.

okay, so jace has almost died from that demon, yet he’s the one asking clary if she’s okay?

vision time

okay how does valentine keep seeing stuff he’s not meant to see?

alright something i gotta point out. almost every angsty show/movie i’ve seen does the same thing where the girl gets frustrated at a necklace (usually a gift), rips it from her neck and throws it away. shouldn’t that have broken said necklace?

well, that’s the end of that. malec made all the difference in this ep. much more excited about magnus and alec finally meeting each other. till the next ep.

A Whole New World - a Shadowhunters fanfic

Chapter 2 - A New (Fantastic) Point of View

Summary:  In which Magnus - with the help of Disney's 'Aladdin' - clears up some discrepancies, and Alec most definitely does NOT get flustered. Credit goes to Disney’s ‘Aladdin’ for all titles so far. A/N:  Towards the end of this chapter, when they're discussing how the genie in 'Aladdin' is a prisoner, there's some talk of past slavery practices regarding genies. I believe I've handled it sensitively, but please let me know if anything needs adjusting.

Chapter 1: AO3 / Tumblr Chapter 2: AO3 / or read it below!

~oOo~

When he wakes up, a part of him thinks that he must have dreamed it all. A genie? A magic lamp? It feels absurd to even consider it. This kind of thing just doesn’t happen, and certainly not to people like him.

But as he stretches, blinking the sleep from his heavy eyes and yawning cool awareness into his brain, the memories clarify, and he knows that they feel too real to be anything but. Still, after he slides on his slippers and shrugs into a hoodie to stave off the chill, he wanders into the living room, and his stomach flips when he catches sight of the lamp on the mantelpiece.

He turns to the kitchen, and Magnus is there, looking just as decadent in teal as he did in scarlet the day before. He’s leaning back in one chair, his legs propped up on a second, a heavy book in one hand and what appears to be a mimosa in the other. When Alec enters the kitchen, his eyes flick over, and a wide smile spreads across his face as he puts the book down. ‘Ah, good morning, Alexander. Hungry?’ ‘Yeah, starving,’ Alec says, feeling the beginnings of an instinctive, wondering smile on his own face.

Magnus swings himself around until he’s sitting up properly in his chair, and waves a hand across the table. Two plates of Belgian waffles, a jug of maple syrup, a bowl of chopped strawberries, and a cup of coffee appear on the table. ‘Your coffee – cream or sugar?’ Alec manages to collect himself enough to answer, though he can’t quite bring his eyebrows down from his hairline. ‘Uh, no – black’s good.’ He takes a seat opposite Magnus, helping himself to strawberries. ‘Wait, is this one of my wishes?’ he asks, mostly as a joke. He doesn’t think it would be, but what does he know about how all this works? Magnus snorts. ‘Please. As if I’d let you waste a wish on something so trivial.’ He looks at Alec, tilting his head in that same assessing way he did the night before. ‘So, you’re convinced that all of this is real now, hm?’ ‘I’m… seventy percent convinced,’ Alec allows, drizzling a thin hatching of syrup over his breakfast. Magnus beams at him. ‘My, my, a thirty percent jump in a single night? You flatter me, Alexander.’ He elbows his book gently to one side as he nabs the bowl of strawberries, and Alec glances at the cover. ‘Les Mis?’ he says. Magnus hmms an affirmative around his first mouthful of waffle. ‘I must admit, I avoided it for a long time – I tend to get a little bored when a story drags on past three volumes. But, you know. When I got stuck, and it became apparent I was in for something of an extended stay, I took the opportunity to catch up on some of the lengthier works I’d yet to read. It’s quite good – though I must say, it’s a lot… bleaker, without the rousing musical numbers to liven things up.’

They eat in a strangely comfortable silence for a while, before Alec’s curiosity gets the better of him. ‘So these… wishes,’ he says. ‘I’m a little lost. How does it all work?’ ‘Fairly much as you’d expect,’ Magnus says with a shrug. ‘You ask for something, and if it’s reasonable, I give it to you.’ ‘Reasonable like… possible? Or reasonable like ‘a good idea’?’ ‘A combination of the two – I can do many things that you may have previously considered impossible, but I have both my limits and my standards. I rarely deny wishes, but when I do, there’s always good cause for it.’

Alec mulls that over. He didn’t even know that genies could refuse wishes. Or travel. Or… well, the point is, every time he thinks he understands the situation here – ridiculous as it is – Magnus reveals something that highlights just how clueless he is. An idea forms in his head, and he clears his throat to voice it before he can chicken out. ‘You know,’ he says, ‘I think I’d feel more – prepared, for the responsibility of these wishes, if I knew more about… all of this.’ He gestures to the breakfast, to Magnus, behind him towards the lamp, before forging ahead. ‘So. With that in mind, it’s occurred to me that the only point of reference I really have is Aladdin.’ Magnus’ nose wrinkles at the mere mention of the film. ‘So I have an idea. It’s my day off, so why don’t we hang out for a while, and you can tell me everything they got wrong? Then I’ll know where I stand.’ He smiles, hoping it doesn’t come across as nervous as he feels.

Magnus frowns a little, humming in consideration as he finishes his drink. The silence stretches long enough that Alec starts to internally berate himself – you idiot, he’s a powerful magical being, he doesn’t want to ‘hang out’ with you and talk about a movie he hates – but by the time he puts down his glass, Magnus’ frown has cleared, a small smile in its place. ‘Sounds like fun,’ he says. He waves a hand, instantly clearing the table, and begins moving into the living room, where he snaps his fingers and an instantly recognisable title menu appears on the T.V.. ‘Oh – we don’t have to actually watch it,’ Alec says, back-pedalling. ‘Nonsense,’ Magnus counters, ‘it’ll be much easier to explain the mistakes as we go along.’ He settles into a corner of the couch which faces the T.V., shifting a couple of pillows behind him to get comfortable. ‘Besides, I may dislike the inaccuracies, but as I mentioned earlier, I do enjoy a rousing musical number.’ His eyes shine, almost hypnotic, as he gestures for Alec to take a seat beside him, and Alec finds himself doing so, finding that he’s suddenly incredibly thoughtful about the exact meaning of the phrase respectable distance.

The movie begins to play, and Alec tries to relax into the familiarity of it, but he’s hyper-aware of the sheer weirdness of his situation. He’s sitting there, watching Aladdin – a movie he and Jace must have seen hundreds of times as children – as a grown man in his own apartment, sitting next to an actual, dazzling, real-life, eight-hundred-year-old genie.

Jace would never fucking believe this, he thinks.

***

The first few scenes of the movie pass without much comment – apparently, Magnus’ issues with the movie don’t concern the worldbuilding. Alec’s first query comes when Aladdin starts to explore the Cave of Wonders. ‘So, question – magic carpets? Is that a thing?’ ‘They used to be,’ Magnus says. ‘They still exist, but they’re not a popular travel option these days. Too many cameras about. Before, if someone outside of the magical world spotted you, they’d likely be called crazy. Nowadays, a shot of a flying carpet would go viral in seconds, and it’s such a pain trying to keep the whole thing invisible while you’re trying to steer, too. I tried it around a decade ago, and I nearly crashed into the Eiffel Tower.’

The lamp comes into shot, and Magnus snorts. ‘Ugh. As if any self-respecting genie would reside in such a plain lamp. What’s the point of immortality if you don’t live a little?’ He waves towards his own lamp; Alec swears that it glows for a moment, and he grins. Show-off. ‘Now that,’ Magnus continues proudly, ‘is a lamp. Tasteful, not gaudy – but still decorative, still interesting to look at.’ ‘Minimalism hasn’t caught on in the magical world, then?’ Alec asks teasingly. ‘Not among genies, at least. By and large, we have excellent taste.’

Aladdin rubs the lamp, and Alec asks, ‘Another mistake?’ Magnus tilts his hand back and forth, in a gesture that says eh, sort of. ‘Technically, that would work. Sort of like how if an earthquake hit, you’d likely jump out of bed. It’s a little annoying for those of us on the other side, though.’ He turns to Alec, raising an eyebrow. ‘As you can probably guess, from how I tried to shake you off last night.’ It takes Alec a moment to remember what he means. ‘Oh, with the – oh.’ His hand moves unconsciously to the nape of his neck, and he feels sheepish. It seems so obvious now. ‘Of course. That was you. I thought it was just some weird, vibrational echo or something. Actually, I thought it might be some sort of damage to the lamp.’ Magnus chuckles. ‘Yeah, I can understand how that would make more sense to you. For future reference, though – if I’m in the lamp and you need me, asking politely works just as well as shaking my whole house.’ ‘Noted.’

Onscreen, the genie gives the rules for wish-making. ‘Two of those are accurate,’ Magnus confirms. ‘Necromancy isn’t possible without dark, dark magic, far beyond even the most powerful genies. And wishing for more wishes isn’t something any genie will grant – we’re not beholden to some sort of magical contract, wish-wise. We make an offer we think is fair, and we stick to our word.’ He rolls his eyes. ‘Most of us, anyway. There are a few rotten apples in every bushel, right?’ Alec nods. ‘Makes sense. So wishes are more like… gifts?’ ‘Exactly. It’s just a way we repay favours, or choose to make life more interesting. It’s nice using one’s powers to give someone else what they want for a change. Try it, next time you’re bored.’ Alec smiles. ‘Huh. Cool idea.’ He pauses, remembering how they got onto this topic. ‘Wait, so you can make people fall in love?’ ‘Of course. It’s honestly not that difficult – a bit of brain chemistry here, a dash of soul-shifting there, et voila. But personally, I’ve only done it once.’ ‘Why?’ Magnus shrugs. ‘It doesn’t feel right to me, usually. I wouldn’t want someone to alter my thoughts that way, to mess around with my emotions. It seems a horribly personal invasion. On the odd occasion that I’m asked to do it, I refuse. I tell the wish-maker to pick something else.’ ‘Except for one time?’ Alec prompts gently. Magnus is quiet for a moment. ‘You don’t have to tell me if you’d rather not,’ Alec assures him. Magnus shakes his head. ‘No, it’s okay, it’s just…’ He sighs. ‘The one time I granted that wish was to a young gay woman a couple of centuries ago. She was due to be wed in an arranged marriage, and she couldn’t bear the thought of spending her life with someone she knew she’d never have feelings for, no matter how kind he was. So she asked me to make her fall in love with him, and I agreed.’ He glances at Alec, briefly flashing a sad smile. ‘She was happy, after that – she went through with the wedding, their families were overjoyed, and she raised three beautiful children with a good man whom she cherished, and who cherished her in return. But I wonder, sometimes, if I made the right choice. If there wasn’t some – some great wrong, there, in helping someone to deny something so fundamental about themselves.’ He settles back on the sofa, attention returning to the screen. ‘I think about her a lot, actually. I can only pray she didn’t come to regret it; that I did a good enough job, so that she didn’t feel like something was off, or like something was missing.’

‘Hey.’ Alec reaches out, places a hand on Magnus’ shoulder. ‘She was hurting, and you did the best you could to help her. You tried to make her happy – and from what you’re saying, it seems to me like you succeeded. I don’t think that’s wrong.’ Magnus turns back to face him, and under the weight of those golden eyes, Alec suddenly becomes self-conscious, quickly removing his hand. ‘Thank you, Alexander,’ Magnus says softly. Alec nods awkwardly, and turns back to the movie, feeling Magnus’ gaze linger for a few seconds before he does the same.

By this point, Aladdin’s genie is confessing that he’s a prisoner. ‘Poor guy. No seafront visits for him, huh?’ Alec asks, trying to lighten the mood. Magnus laughs gently, and something eases in Alec’s chest. ‘No, apparently not,’ he agrees. ‘There are ways to bind a genie to their lamp, so they can only wander a little while summoned, but they went out of fashion centuries ago. Actually, that’s where our be careful what you wish for reputation started,’ he says. ‘Trapped genies couldn’t refuse requests, the same way free genies could. So instead, they started to twist their masters’ words, giving them dark shadows of what they truly wanted. As a protest, it worked wonderfully – once people realised that owning a trapped genie wouldn’t guarantee that they’d get what they wanted, demand for them fell, and the unscrupulous lot who’d been taking part in the practice realised that it wasn’t worth all the danger and effort of the binding ritual anymore.’ ‘Well, that’s good.’ He feels a little bad for making a joke of it, now, even though he hadn’t known. No-one deserved that kind of trapped half-life. ‘Yeah. It’s a lot nicer walking the earth without worrying about slavers lurking around every corner. And without any of that interference, we can go where we like. We just have to take our lamp with us.’ Alec smiles, still feeling a little somber from the heavy topic, but tickled by the thought he’s just had. ‘You’re like a really cool tortoise, then.’

Magnus turns to face him, and Alec feels himself turn red as that beautiful, genuine smile re-emerges, quickly dissolving into a hearty, raucous laugh. ‘I don’t know whether to be pleased or insulted by that, Alexander.’ ‘Hey,’ Alec says, feigning indignation even as he laughs, too. ‘I love tortoises. And I called you really cool.’ ‘You did, you did,’ Magnus acknowledges, sighing deeply as the laughter comes to an end. ‘Anyway – yes, that’s the gist of it. We’re free to wander, but we take our home with us wherever we go.’ Alec turns back to the movie, settling a little deeper into the couch cushions and tucking his legs up beside him. ‘Sounds pretty good to me.’ ‘Yeah,’ Magnus says quietly. ‘It is.’

The rest of the movie passes too quickly, the familiar story interspersed with occasional bouts of warm, comfortable conversation. ‘By the way,’ Magnus says, shortly after Aladdin is thrown into the sea. ‘If at any point during our little agreement, I find myself in a position to save your life, I won’t make you use one of your wishes for it.’ He winks. Alec chuckles, and hopes it isn’t obvious that his heart rate has just doubled. ‘Very kind of you.’

~oOo~

Two mundanes walked into a bar

The lights were dim and the music was honest to god trashy but Magnus had one too many drinks to care. He hummed out of tune and picked up the single gray hair he'd pluck out earlier that evening.

The bell above the door chimed, signaling the entrance of another patron. From his spot by the bar Magnus could see the whoever had entered, his eyes focused in on the familiar features but he had to blink twice to make sure his mind wasn't playing tricks on him in this drunken state. "Raphael?" He questioned just to make sure this wasn't an illusion. This boy, looked so much like his son, it made his heart hurt, but his Raphael was supposed to be locked away, this couldn't be right. Maybe this was a trick, after all he missed Raphael and he wasn't even there to help or even say goodbye when Raphael needed him the most.

Magnus eyes teared up, when the boy came closer, a fond smile replacing his usual gruff expression. "Magnus"

"Oh my boy, it's really you" Magnus looked into Raphael's eyes, tears rolled down his check "I never thought I'd see you again" he was off of the bar stool, pulling Raphael into a tight embrace "I'm so happy to see you"

"Me too, I'm sorry" Raphael sobbed and buried his face into Magnus shirt.

"Why are you sorry?" Magnus was slightly confused.

"You thought me better, I messed up, I did so much foolish things, I'm sorry I let you down"

Magnus stroked Raphael cheek, gently wiping away the tears "sit with me, lets have a drink"

Raphael sat besides Magnus as he ordered "plasma shot?"

"I-i, I can't, not tonight, just whatever you're having" Raphael smiled sadly, how could he begin to tell Magnus that he was no longer a vampire, that he was going to live and die, another person on a long list for Magnus. Raphael had seen him grieve those losses, it was never a pretty sight. "Remember the last time we were here?" Raphael asked, looking to change the subject.

"Hm we got kicked out, and then Ragnor portalled up to Rio, Catarina was so mad" the memory was one of many that Magnus cherished.

A comfortable silence settled between them, each one lost in thought.

"You know, you can never disappoint me right?" Magnus sipped from his glass, he was becoming increasingly light headed, a soft chuckle escaped his lips "how are you here anyways?"

"Simon"

"Oh the daylighter you have a crush on"

"I do not" Raphael ducked his head to hide his blush.

"Fine you're not, how did he manage to appease the clave?"

"One of their own was experimenting on downworlders" the thought alone made Raphael sick to his stomach "I was one of them"

Magnus didn't respond, it took him a little while to piece everything together.

"I'm a mundane now" he couldn't keep Magnus in the dark for long, after all Magnus knew him better than anyone else did.

"Raphael, I'm sorry" Magnus knew what it felt like to have a part of you ripped away.

"It's going to be okay" Raphael downed his drink and ordered another "why are you here?"

"Oh I gave up my magic to my father to help the shadowhunters" Magnus smiled brightly but Raphael could see past it.

"Are you crazy?"

"Maybe so, cheers to being mundanes" the bitterness in his voice was heart breaking. Magnus lifted his glass into the air, toasting to limited life they now had to live "just leave the bottle"

They drank together well into the night, the darkness of the sky had began to melt away to the pink hues of the early morning sky. Raphael and Magnus then stumbled back to Magnus' loft.

They pushed the door open to find Alec laying down on Magnus' couch. "Alexander" Magnus stood up a bit straighter, but his legs still wobbled a bit as he stepped into the living room.

"Have you been drinking?" Alec asked and Raphael took that as his cue to leave, he'd be back later, after all he had nowhere else to go, Magnus was the closest thing to home.

Raphael wondered along the street for a little while until he heard a voice call out his name. The chilly spring air had sobered him up a bit. He turned to face Simon with sleepy eyes and a crooked smile.

"What are you up to?" He turned back and continued down the street, he had a destination in mind.

"I came to check on you, I figured you'd be by Magnus" Simon fell into step besides Raphael.

"I'm fine" but he really wasn't, this would take some getting use to.

"Okay" Simon didn't fight it, he didn't know how someone was supposed to feel when they've suddenly become un-undead. He continued to walk in step with Raphael, enjoying his company.

A sudden burst of cold air caused Raphael to shiver as they got closer to his destination "you're cold?" Simon turned to him.

"A little" Raphael shrugged.

"Here take my jacket"

"I'm not a damsel in distress Simon" Raphael smiled and accepted the jacket, pulling into close to his body, it smelt so much like Simon, he liked it a lot.

"Why are we going by the river?" Simon asked as they got closer to the Brooklyn Bridge.

"It's been over 60 years since I last saw the sunrise, I get to see it again"

hi! I think you're a Destiel shipper and I was wondering if you could explain how a crack ship can have a fandom that big? I don't get it. It must be frustrating to watch? Why do so many people ship it when there are other explicit ships in other shows, with actual representation? I hope I don't sound rude, it's just something I've been trying to understand and I thought I'd ask you xx

I started rambling whoops, this turned into an essay on queer characters representation in TV shows from the early 2000s to today lmao so it’s under the cut. 

Well, for me, it was a matter of chemistry and that we had nothing else elsewhere, actually. I don’t know how old you are but I think most people nowadays either weren’t there or have forgotten that we didn’t have much if anything to latch onto in terms of LGBTQ representation. Most popular mlm and wlw ships back then weren’t canon and the characters weren’t even queer and the popularity of the ships was not because people really just wanted to see two boys or girls fucking like I’ve been seeing for years. It’s because the chemistry we saw could be interpreted as romantic and because we had close to nothing to compare to. 

Like, just a quick look at the canon mlm or wlw couples and shows with LGBTQ representation I’ve enjoyed over the years:

2000: Willow and Tara in Buffy The Vampire Slayer

2008: Ianto and Jack in Torchwood

2009: Arizona and Cali in Grey’s Anatomy

2010: Naomi and Emily in Skins

2011: Ian and Mickey in Shameless

2012: Nasir and Agron in Spartacus, Sara and Nyssa in Arrow

2013: Ethan and Danny in Teen Wolf, Captain Holt in Brooklyn Nine Nine, Orange Is The New Black, Cosima and Delphine in Orphan Black

2014: Oliver and Connor in HTGAWM, Kieren and Simon in In The Flesh, Black Sails

2015: Sense8

2016: Wayhaught in Wyonna Earp, Philip and Lukas in Eyewitness, Even and Isak in Skam, Alec and Magnus in Shadowhunters, Clarke and Lexa in The 100, Maggie and Alex in Supergirl

2018: Eliot and Quentin in The Magicians, Omar and Ander in Elite

2019: The Umbrella Academy, the Skam remakes, Grizz and Sam in The Society

As you can see, I personally had barely nothing canon to relate to between 2005 when I started questioning my sexuality and 2012. I didn’t like Glee. Cali and Arizona had so much heartache. Tara, Ianto and Naomi die. Ian and Mickey in the early seasons of Shameless weren’t the prime exemple of a healthy relationship. 

So when Cas came along in Supernatural in 2008 and there was this immediate intensity with Dean (even if you don’t ship it you can’t deny that), fans saw their relationship as possibly romantic because there is no way to deny that if Cas had been in a female body, all their scenes would have come off as romantic to everybody and they would have been together by the end of season 4. What else did we have? Nothing. Scraps. Hints. Two minutes of screentime for a guest star. Bury your gays tropes. Smallville, Veronica Mars, Lost, One Tree Hill, Prison Break, Desperate Housewives, Heroes, all these incredibly popular shows in the 2000s and none of them had  really positive LGBTQ representation if any (the crazy murderous lesbian in Smallville, the psychopath in Prison Break, and I’ll never fucking forget Andrew coming out in Desperate Housewives and Bree telling him “I would love you even if you were a murderer” azsdfghjk nice comparison). 

Subtext was all we could latch onto for the longest time. So of course, Destiel became popular, and so did Johnlock, and Sterek, and Stucky at the same time. I was also still closeted and it felt safe to watch shows about seemingly straight dudes while nobody knew I was reading fanfics at night. It wasn’t (only) straight fangirls fetishizing straight white pretty men. It was because the subtext was more than we had in canon anywhere else. 

Ships, especially wlw and mlm ships, used to be for fandom only and never made it to being explicit on screen, but it didn’t make them any less real in fandom space (think of Kirk and Spock in Star Trek in the 70s for exemple, that ship has always existed). I remember the debate around 2013 about “will it go canon or is it just now queerbaiting”, and the massive push for ships to go canon and I was confused because as much as I would love it and was frustrated with the queerbaiting… being explicitly canon didn’t use to factor in whether fans shipped it or not. Fandom spaces and TPTB didn’t use to interact so much before social media, it got more common around 2012. So we could ship in peace, confined to myspace, livejournal and ff.net. Now that we have more representation, non canon ships feel cheap for many people, and that’s fine. But I personally won’t forget that some older ships were all I had 10 years ago and they gave me a safe place. So yeah, I still ship Dean and Cas. Not as in I need it or expect it to be explicitly canon in the show (though that’d be nice), but in the fandom space, hell yeah. It isn’t a crack ship. Crack ship used to mean shipping completely random chacarters that have never interacted or aren’t even from the same fandom. Nowadays, I feel like anything that isn’t canon is a crack ship. Nah. Not for me.

Tsc Playlist- part 2

Like I said in the first part, this is quite different than my normal posts, I'm aware, but since I've never seen anyone doing something like this and had already made a long list of great songs, from my own personal playlist, which I related to TSC character/s, I decided to roll the dice on it, and luckily you guys seemed to like it, so here's part two for you. Hope you enjoy!

-----------------------------------------

TRSoM!Malec: "Fading", by Alle Farben & Ilira

Almost every single lyric in this song makes me think of happy vacation!Malec, but I'll put the first few here, just to make my case clearer for you. Besides, even by sound, you can tell that it's clearly such a happy, fun, romantic song, which is exactly what TRSoM is supposed to give us, so I will forever stand by this pick.

chosen lyrics: "All I ever wanted was to find you / Find a love I never knew / I can feel the pain inside me fading / While I'm fading into you. / Been to Paris, been to Rome / But I never found my home / 'Til you came and took my hand / Been to deserts and the coast / Couple turns along the road / Then I found you in the end".

-----------------------------------------

Chain of Gold!Anna (addressing Ariadne): "I'm The Only One", by The Score.

I have some end of EET!broken-hearted Anna songs (addressing Ariadne) that are being featured in the next part, if you'll ask for one, and I thought she also deserved one regarding the MF-queen place she's at in the Chain of Gold snippets we got of her, and this song is one hell of a fit for it, if you ask me. Just check the first verse, "Tell me can you see me now? / While you were busy lost in the crowd / I was busy making myself-elf / Into someone free from doubts / I was down and left on the shelf / I wanted a story to tell-el", and this one, "I cut the strings a long time ago, oh / I guess that I should thank you though / 'Cause all you was the fire for my soul / And now I'm up here running the show-ow", and tell me that I'm wrong, I dare you.

-----------------------------------------

end of QoAaD!Kitty: "Listen to Your Heart", by Roxette.

A little bit is from Ty's POV, but most of it is from us, the readers' POVs, talking to Kit. Heartbreaking guaranteed.

chosen lyrics: "... You've built a love but that love falls apart / Your little piece of heaven turns too dark. / Listen to your heart when he's calling for you  / Listen to your heart there's nothing else you can do. / I don't know where you're going and I don't know why, / But listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye. / Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile / The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yea / They're swept away and nothing is what it seems, / The feeling of belonging to your dreams. / Listen to your heart when he's calling for you / Listen to your heart there's nothing else you can do". 

-----------------------------------------

Henry: "Crazy", by Lost Frequencies & Zonderling.

My beautiful smol bean by the name of Henry Branwell and his inventions were looked down upon all of his life, but he never gave up, no. He didn't mind being called crazy, didn't care what the world said and never once changed who he was, because he knew he could do it, make a difference in the life of shadowhunters everywhere, and he did, in Clockwork Princess. This is, ladies and gentlemen, a well-deserved Henry song.

chosen lyrics: "... I will give 'em everything I've got / One day I am gonna prove them wrong. /.... / I will give them every part of me / Put my heart where everyone can see. / They can call me whatever they want / Call me crazy / You can call me whatever you want / But that won't change me / I just don't care what the world says / I'm gonna make it / They can call me whatever they want / So what if I am crazy?"

-----------------------------------------

Tales From Shadowhunter Acadamy!Sizzy: "Nothing is over", by Sunrise Avenue.

Sizzy was having a really hard time at the start of this book, ever since Simon's memories of the shadow world, and of Izzy, were wiped by Asmodeus in the end of CoHF, but they found their way back to each other nevertheless. This song is a clear TFSA!Sizzy for me, and hopefully you'll think the same.

chosen lyrics: "Say nothing is over / Though everything's crazy / Be brave and trust me / It's not a game over / We gotta try harder / You gotta stay with me / There's nothing we can't reach / 'Cause nothing is over".

-----------------------------------------

Oh no, our 5-songs-long part two came to an end so soon? Don't worry, I already have another 13 songs (and adding all the time) waiting for you to just give me the cue, so make sure to let me know if you want mor

P.S. Already have quite a list, but I'm always looking for new songs, so don't forget to put those in the comments as well, if you have any suggestions!

Anyone sitting here?” said a voice. Simon looked up and saw a tall man with spiky black hair standing over him. He wore a velvet prep school blazer with a crest emblazoned on it in glittering thread, and at least a dozen rings. There was something odd about his features… “What? I, uh. No,” Simon said, wondering how many strangers were going to accost him today. “You can sit, if you want.” “I’m Magnus.” He smiled, showing blinding white teeth. “Magnus Bane.” “Are we long-lost friends, by any chance?” Simon said. “Just wondering.” “No, we never got along all that well,” said Magnus. “Long-lost acquaintances? Compadres? My cat liked you.” Simon scrubbed his hands over his face. “I think I’m going crazy,” he remarked, to no one in particular. “Well, then, you should be all right with what I’m about to tell you.” Magnus turned his head slightly to the side. “Isabelle?” Out of nowhere, a girl appeared. Maybe the most beautiful girl Simon had ever seen. She had long black hair that spilled over a silver dress and made him want to write bad songs about starry nights. She also had tattoos: the same ones the other girl had sported, black and swirling, covering her arms and bare legs. “Hello, Simon,” she said. Simon just stared. It was entirely out of the realm of anything he had ever imagined that a girl who looked like this would ever say his name like that. Like it was the only name that mattered. His brain sputtered to a stop like an old car. “Mgh?” he said. Magnus held out a long-fingered hand, and the girl placed something into it. A book, bound in white leather with the title stamped on it in gold. Simon couldn’t quite see the words, but they were etched in an elegant calligraphic hand. “This is a book of spells.  The world is full of magic,” said Magnus, and his eyes were sparkling. “Demons and angels, werewolves and faeries and vampires. You knew all this, once. You had magic, but it was taken from you. The idea was that you would live out the rest of your life without it, without remembering it. That you would forget the people you loved, if they knew about magic. That you would spend the rest of your life ordinary.” He turned the book over in his slim fingers, and Simon caught sight of a title in Latin. Something about the sight sent a zing of energy through his body. “And there’s something to be said for that, for being relieved of the burden of greatness. Because you were great, Simon. You were a Daylighter, a warrior. You saved lives and slew demons, and the blood of angels rocketed through your veins like sunlight.” Magnus was grinning now, a little manically. “And I don’t know, it just strikes me as a little fascist to take all that away.” Isabelle tossed her dark hair back. Something glittered at the hollow of her throat. A red ruby. Simon felt the same zing of energy, stronger this time, as if his body were yearning toward something his mind couldn’t recall. “Fascist?” she echoed. “Yes,” Magnus said. “Clary was born special. Simon here had specialness thrust upon him. He adapted. Because the world isn’t divided into the special and the ordinary. Everyone has the potential to be extraordinary. As long as you have a soul and free will, you can be anything, do anything, choose anything. Simon should get to choose.” Simon swallowed against his dry throat. “I’m sorry,” he said. “But what are you talking about?” Magnus tapped the book in his hand. “I’ve been searching for a way out of this spell, this curse on you,” he said, and Simon almost protested that he wasn’t cursed, but subsided. “This thing that made you forget. Then I figured it out. I ought to have figured it out a lot sooner, but they’ve always been so strict about Ascensions. So particular. But then Alec mentioned to me: They’re desperate for new Shadowhunters now. They lost so many in the Dark War, it would be easy. You’ve got so many people to vouch for you. You could be a Shadowhunter, Simon. Like Isabelle. I can do a little with this book; I can’t fix it completely, and I can’t make you what you were before, but I can prepare you to be able to Ascend, and once you do, once you’re a Shadowhunter, he can’t touch you. You’ll have the Clave’s protection, and the rules about not telling you about the Shadow World, those will be gone.” Simon looked at Isabelle. It was a little like looking at the sun, but the way she was looking back at him made it easier. She was looking at him as if she had missed him, though he knew that wasn’t possible. “There’s really magic?” he asked. “Vampires and werewolves and wizards—” “Warlocks,” Magnus corrected. “And all of that? It exists?” “It exists,” Isabelle said. Her voice was sweet, a little husky and—familiar. He remembered the smell of sunlight and flowers suddenly, a taste like copper in his mouth. He saw desert landscapes stretching out under a demon sun, and a city with towers that shimmered as if they were made of ice and glass. “It’s not a fairy tale, Simon. Being a Shadowhunter means being a warrior. It’s dangerous, but if it’s right for you, it’s amazing. I wouldn’t ever want to be anything else.” “It’s your decision, Simon Lewis,” said Magnus. “Remain in the existence you have, go to college, study music, get married. Live your life. Or—you can have an uncertain life of shadows and dangers. You can have the joy of reading the stories of incredible happenings, or you can be part of the story.” He leaned closer, and Simon saw the light spark off his eyes, and realized why he’d thought they were odd. They were gold-green and slit-pupilled like a cat’s. Not human eyes at all. “The choice is up to you.

City of Heavenly Fire, Epilogue: The Beauty Of A Thousand Stars

I have been obsessed for DAYS!!! TLH!!! MORE THEORIES! 💗💗💗💗

For the last week or so, ive had The Last Hours on the brain. I think i may be more excited for Chain of Gold to hit the book shelves than i was for the birth of my first nephew. Im not even sure if im kidding or not.

Well if you knew him you would understand, hes terrible, anyways, ive been theorizing along with my bestie and have come up with some pretty cool theories

So here we go! Before i get started i must warn you there are #MAJORSPOILERS for Tales From the Shadowhunter Academy, The Bane Chronicles, Ghosts of the Shadowhunter Market, and other TSC books. Okay lets begin.

Theories

One: Grace Blackthorn

There is alot of speculation about Grace Blackthorn. Her last name, the one she is given at birth is Cartwright. James Herondale knew her when she was in Idris. In TftSA he speaks of her and the year is 1899 at the age of 13. He says shes in need of rescuing.

He says she has no other friends, my theory starts there.

I believe thats where Tatiana comes in to play. She is devoted to Tatiana because Tatiana is her saviour. I believe Grace is part fae and that she isnt just any fae, shes part siren which explains the allure she holds over James. She has to be something other than an ordinary shadowhunter because the comments Tatiana Blackthorn made about her in The Bane Chronicles and James' reaction to her when hes older is just crazy. Then of course her cruel words " there nothing i cant make you do" hmmm... interesting

Two: Jordelia Heronstairs marriage

I adore this marriage. I hope these two end up happy and i really hope our little Jamie doesnt end up heartbroken and stuck in a loveless marriage but from what we know so far, hes madly in love with Grace Blackthorn (which i suspect isnt all his doing) Moving on...

I believe their marriage is the arranged marriage that Cassie spoke of. I think that it has to do with saving Cordeila herself and not just the name. We know according to Cassie Cordelia and James marry at the end of TLH 1 and i assume alot after their marriage is crazy complicated. We know already Cordelia cares deeply for James but will he reciprocate those feelings eventually? who knows.

I think they marry because of how severe her fathers crimes were. They were said to be worse than Tobias Herondales and comparing the two makes me believe that the punishment will be as cruel or worse. It makes me think that the Clave will intend to strip Cordeila and Alistair as punishment for Elias's crimes, that or execute them. My theory is that Will and Tessa and Jem along with everyone involved in helping come together and decide that James should marry Cordelia because it will save her life. She would no longer be a Carstairs and the Clave wouldnt touch her.

Three: Lucie Herondale

Now this is a theory i have had for a while. A long while actually. People have speculated about Lucie's powers and i believe i have an idea of what she can do. Lucie has been extremely curious about Jesse Blackthorn for ages. She was lost in the forest in Idris as a child and someone helped her find her way home. I believe this was Jesse Blackthorn. We all know Herondales can see ghosts, my theory is that Lucie can actually make physical contact with ghosts. In TLH its why shes so freaking fascinated with him. He saved her all those years ago but he still looks the same. She could always touch him of course because of her gift but now so can everyone else and thats why everything about him is so intriguing to Lucie.

Four: Grace Blackthorn and Christopher Lightwood marriage? Sham?

I know it sounds crazy but of all of the marriages in TLH i believe this one is the one that is definitely most likely NOT a sham. We know theres a definite possibility it could happened. Think about this... Herondale eyes. they had to be passed down and the only person we know for a fact that has those eyes now is Alec. Alecs ancestor is Gabriel Lightwood and Cecily and how else would the gene get passed unless it was through them?

Anna has blue eyes but i doubt she would marry and have children, no other women have been introduced or spoke of in the slightest who arent related to him so i just dont think it could be anyone else. Aloof but beautiful underneath it all Christopher Lightwood marries mean heffer Grace Blackthorn. I really think that. I know the family tree is missleading but it does give you some idea of how far the familes go back, how many generations from TDA to TMI.

Or....theory Grace Blackthorn and Anna Lightwood.

Ive considered this as well. Ive read pieces where Cassie has commented on the two of them speaking and it makes me wonder what type of relationship they end up having or if she just lets Grace have it for treating James like crap. You see Gabriel and Cecily have a baby named Alexander and it makes me think that maybe thats Alecs ancestor and the map is extremely inaccurate after all ☺

Five: Matthew and Christopher theory.

I believe Christopher and Matthew could be the boys in this snippet.

He took a deep breath, and crossed the floor of blades and constellations to the other boy’s side. He stood at the foot of the stairs, looking down.

“But of course,” he said, very softly, “your sentiments are reciprocated.”

He stooped over him, tilting his chin up. Their lips met. The other boy made a soft sound, almost like surrender, stretching under his body. He slid an arm around his neck and pulled him down onto the stairs.

Why?

Because Matthew is always taking responsibility for him. He calls him a genius. Christopher spends time at the Branwell houshold with Matthews father.

Matthew even says he loves taking care of people and hes good at it. He says be takes care of his father. He actually said in TftSA that he took care of Christopher Lightwood. The words spoken do sound like Matthew too.

Six: Love triangles

Recently there was a post about a love triangle in TLH with 2 women and 1 man. My guess is its gonna be with Anna, Grace, and James or it will be with Grace, Lucie, and Jesse. They arent really siblings and ive seen pics like this...

They make me think that the both of them want Jesse's heart. This photo was on Cassie's Pinterest it seemed to be the sort of photo like "its on" or "may the best woman win" i dunno. The kiss was just...this photo made me think of the two of THEM facing off. Judas Kiss or something.

Another thought was maybe Anna, Grace, and James is because i think the marriage between Cordelia and him could be a fluke at first and maybe he persues Grace still. Anna could end up falling for her as well and theres your triangle. I just have a feeling that Grace Blackthorn is involved in this thing.

Because i hate her.

Like i seriously hate Grace Blackthorn and its sad because i 💙 Blackthorns 😣

Seven: When its all said and done, Matthew Fairchild will not be a Shadowhunter.

I think he will either die, be stripped of his marks, or be turned into a downworlder which i freaking hate, i dont want Matthew to change hes perfect just the way he is and because i love him like a fat kid loves cake.

Eight: In the end when its all said and done Jordeila will be a thing (in love) and so will Jucie Heronthorn?

Is that their ship name?

Anyway that will be all for today. Im sure theres more, in fact i know there is bit theres so many details and i have so little time so have a great day and i hope you enjoy your day!

MALEC. ➰ THE BRAVEST PERSON I KNOW.

Hello everyone, this story takes place after the training scene in season 3Bx12.

This is my first fanfiction ever and my native language is not English so don't be too hard on me :) Critics are always welcome though, I would like to improve my "English" writing skills.

Sooo have fun with my story. :)

"Alec, you're such an idiot," the Shadowhunter mumbles. "Why do you always put yourself in such stupid and embarrassing situations? Yeah you're a fearless Shadowhunter and head of the New York Institute but why couldn't you listen to your gut instinct? You don't start running right away just because you've learned how to walk."

Alexander Lightwood is tied to a massive pole behind his back. There was not the slightest possibility to get out of this uncomfortable position over time. Unfortunately it was dark that's why he identified his attacker too late. He feels the warm hairy and long legs that felt along his stomach. "Damn it Lightwood, don't let your fear get the upper hand." he muttered. But it was too late. Alec had no chance the panic came over him. His heart was racing and he could literally feel how the air was getting thinner.

"Jace?" Clary asks for the fifth time now. The couple was lying relaxed and satisfied in Jace's bed at the New York Institute. Well at least until a minute ago when Jace suddenly fell into a kind of trance. She reaches for her stele to activate the healing iratzerune, cause her psycho brother had to tell her in the most macabre way that he misses her. After the rescue of Clary from the clutches of her crazy murderous brother Jonathan, the right time for her first time with Jace had finally come today. All the dramas of the last few weeks felt so surreal and far away. She didn't want these dramas to start all over again and destroy this wonderful moment. Thankfully Jace didn't noticed the carved words: -I MISS YOU- on her arm which where slowly fading away, as he was still stepped away and staring into the air.

- It is an anxious and at the same time overwhelming feeling. Dull, barely noticeable and yet completely present. Concern mixed with mild panic. Like that unpleasant feeling in school before an exam you haven't prepared for. A racing heartbeat, nervousness and then the fear that gradually became noticeable. Jace immediately recognized the symptoms that slowly spread like a ghastly fog in his body and demanded his attention. -

Clary sits in an upright position, as she is now getting a bit unsure. "Where was her boyfriend with his thoughts, hadn't he liked it? No, Clary stop drive yourself crazy, you don't need that, Jace loves you and you could see it in his eyes, he definitely liked it." She quickly pushed the thought aside and nudged Jace slightly. He flinches as if he had just awakened from a dream. It's Alec he informed her in a worried tone and got up. There was something wrong with his Parabatei. "I feel his fear, we have to go!"

Magnus was lost in thought standing in front of his 18th-century oak cabinet looking for a whip. He had no idea that Alec was facing his greatest fear right now. Lost in thought and humming to himself, Magnus rummaged in his closet. On some days he could hardly believe his luck. How was it possible that he Magnus Bane the High Warlock of Brooklyn was blessed with the most wonderful and yet best-looking Shadowhunter in the world? Yes, it took Alec some time to finally regain his sexuality and confess his love for Magnus. But honestly Alec was worth the wait and besides that, he had made his love for Magnus very clear in front of everyone at his *near-wedding* with Lydia. He belongs to Magnus and Magnus belongs to him. Since then, they had gone through a lot together. From fighting dangerous and overly evil demons like Lilith up to tricky dinners with Alec's mother Maryse and a nightmare bringing stew. Magnus knew that he had hit the jackpot with having Alec as his boyfriend and that they were able to master every hurdle and challenges. Alec didn't judge Magnus for who he was. Even when he admitted that his father was no one less than the Greater Demon Asmodeus also known as the Prince of Hell, he was unimpressed. Alec gave Magnus the love he had been waiting for all these centuries, for his whole life, and even much more. Magnus vowed to show his Shadowhunter every day how grateful he was and thanked the universe for the love it had brought to him. He would show Alec his love as often as he could in any possible way.

Although Magnus was more experienced in relationships than his partner. Alec never ceased to surprise him over and over again. Just like today as the couple was about to freshen up the rusty fighting techniques of the Warlock in the training room of the Institute. Now that Magnus had traded his powers as well as his immortality to Asmodeus, he wanted to be able to defend himself without his innate powers. Of course, Alec didn't know that Magnus was personally trained several years ago by Grand Master Mitsuyo Maeda. And of course, Magnus enjoyed bringing his astonished Alexander into the most unlikely positions, provoking him, flirting with him and keeping him confused whenever he could. He didn't expect Alec, who was so uptight and uncertain in the past, to seize the opportunity and push him against the cold pillar, kiss him passionately and wildly in this public area. “That was way out of his comfort zone wasn't it?“ So far, they've only had exchanged gentle kisses and even during sex, they remained on the flower-vanillia-level. Not that Magnus would complain. The sex with Alec was despite his lack of experience, to describe it in just one word: absolutely fantastic, incredibly hot and mind-blowing sex. Ok... it couldn’t be described with one word. So when he then pantingly suggested to hold his thought and move the whole action into his bedroom, Magnus could hardly hide his astonishment. And he was even more surprised by his demanding and dominant way Alec let him feel in bed. Even though Magnus was topping as he mostly did, and setting the pace of the thrusts, Alec grabbed his hips and pulled him harder and faster towards him. At the thought of their sexual activities earlier this day, Magnus went through a comforting shudder.

"MA..GNUUUS..!" he suddenly heard Alec yelling his name in panic. "I'm not ready to... Oh god MAAAAG... NUUS, where are you why do you need so long?!"

Magnus reached for the whip he finally spotted in the back of the cupboard and rolls his eyes. “Why was Alec all at once so impatient?“ At the Slouvaki truck in Queens an hour ago, he told Magnus they should slow down and savor such unique moments, otherwise they would not even remember them in the future. And after Clary finally got back safely to the institute, Alec became even bolder and made as suggest to Magnus in the presence of everyone, whispering in his sexy seductive voice, he would like to heat up their pillow talk with these whip-games like in that one vampire movie. When, according to this statement, Magnus only stared at him incredulously and unable to move. Alec added mischievously and sweet, "Unless you dare to spank a Shadowhunter's ass." The realization that Alec dared to share such lascivious thoughts in public with him at the institute turned him on so badly. Magnus only grinned promising and denied himself to point out that Alec probably mistook the film and meant 50 Shades of Gray and not Twilight. The portal to Magnus' Loft was open in seconds. Magnus wouldn't miss the opportunity to indulge his Alexander with sensuous blows and taut pats, with his slender leather whip.

MAAAAAGNUUUS! “I swear by the angels if you don't move your sexy ass into this room right now it was the last time we tried something like this!”

"So authoritative, Alexander." Magnus chuckles as he heads for the bedroom. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed how the door handle of the loft was pushed down and Jace and Clary stuck their heads into the living room. "Where is he?" Jace yelled completely out of breath. "Izzy said you left the institute together, Clary adds with a gasp." Magnus stopped as if rooted to the spot, caught red-handed only wearing his black silk boxer shorts, gave Jace an annoyed and questioning look. At the same time he tried to hide the whip unobtrusively behind his back. It was clear that Alec's annoying brother managed once again to destroy an intimate moment. For that he was Alec's Parabatei, he was clearly missing the sensitivity to find an appropriate time whenever he wanted to talk to Alec. "Knocking is not your strength isn't it?" Magnus replied frustrated. Clary, who starts to understand the situation, blushes and tries to pull back Jace on his arm towards the exit. "Jace I think there's a mistake here, she grins sheepishly." Jace shakes his head timidly, "Naah, No, No... I'm feeling it he is scared, he's full of fear and panic," Jace contradicts. "Are you forcing him to do something he doesn't want to? " At that moment, a fearful scream echoes throughout the loft.

AAAAAH! MAAAGNUS! PLEASE!

Alec wind under the touch of his archenemy. Why does Magnus need so long and with whom is he speaking out there? Sure, this whole tie him to the bed thing was his idea. He thought trying something new doesn't hurt right? He always wanted to know if the rumors about pleasure and pain were true. Besides Magnus was only too pleased to use his old whip again after so many years. But who could have known that one of Magnus' ingredients for his potions would break out of his office, which funnily enough had to be a hairy, disgusting spider and find his way to their bedroom. Alec's greatest fear was now walking up and down on his stomach with relish, and in that position he couldn't possibly reach for his Stele to at least activate the fearless rune. He felt so helpless and ashamed that such a small creature could intimidate him so much.

Finally Magnus stormed into the room with Jace and Clary in tow. "Oh, shit I was prepared for everything except this!" Jace blurted out, he could only suspect how Alec was feeling right now. Not only did he have a huge spider on his belly, but also the fact that he was tied half naked to Magnus' bed and knew that Jace would withhold this moment forever. Magnus made a graceful gesture to let his magic play, then paused as it occurred to him that he no longer had those powers. Unexpectedly Clary spoke. "Alec... do not move now," she said in a low monotone voice as she walked towards him. She took a jewelry box from Magnus' dressing table and tore off a page from the GQ magazine that lay next to it. She sneaked quietly toward the spider, then slowly placed the box over the spider so that the animal sat roughly in the middle. Then she gently pushed the sheet of paper under the box. With a triumphant smile, she lifted the jewelry box up in the air and handed over the animal to Magnus. Alec let out a relieved sigh. "That's not how I've imagined this new experience" he mumbled embarrassed and blushed. Jace refused to comment the whole situation this time because he felt how much his parabatei was ashamed. Instead, he took Clary by the hand. Let's give these two lovebirds a bit privacy, after all, we were pretty busy too. Clary grinned contentedly and said "hmm.. I guess I deserve a new sketchbook, what do you think?"

After the two had left the loft, Magnus relieved Alec from his chains, well in this case from his bathrobe belt. They sat there for a moment, just in silence until Magnus spoke up, ashamed. "I'm so sorry Alexander, I should have known something was wrong." Alec looked at him stunned. "You don't have to apologize for anything Magnus, I'm the one to apologize, I'm so sorry, I'm such a wimp that I'm scared of this little crawly animals, I hope you're not too ashamed of me being your boyfriend. " he said subdued. It's exactly these moments that showed Magnus how great his boyfriend really was. Even after being confronted with his greatest anxiety, he is convinced he had failed. How could it be that he didn't see how great he is? And it was this kind of innocent ignorance which made him so pure and amiable "Alexander..." Magnus began in a gentle firm voice. Believe me when I tell you that you didn't do anything wrong and you could never disappoint me. You are the bravest and most fearless person I know and I could not be more proud of calling you my boyfriend." Alec still smiled a little uncertainly as he asked. "So maybe we can stay a little longer on this flower-vanillia-level?" Magnus giggled in amusement as he nodded affirmatively. Alec visibly relaxed again and pulled Magnus into a passionate and heartfelt kiss. "I love you, Magnus" he said. And I love you Alexander, "Magnus replied.

In Which Healing Takes Two

Summary: hun, could i request a shadowhunters raphael x reader? in which she's built a wall around herself and keeps from loving others cause she feels she isn't enough and no one will ever truly love her. but raphael has always noticed her and ever little thing about her makes him fall for her even more. when he confesses to her, she rejects him, hurting both of them. but he soon finds out from izzy that she really does love him and when they talk, the reader opens up about her depression and anxiety. but it ends all fluffy when he admits that he truly loves and supports her no matter what. and he genuinely cares for her and they get together

Request: by the lovely, @slowly-but-shurley.

Warnings: Raphael Santiago x Reader, Angst, Fluff Ending.

Note: I came back with a bang! I hope you all enjoyed this and forever know that you are undeniably valid in this world. Anyone who says otherwise can go sashay away.

Why did it hurt to breathe?

It was as if you wanted every breath to be your last one. Every day, the pain led to the numbness spiraling in your soul and there was absolutely nothing you could do except revel in the cruelty of life.

Empty. Broken. Lifeless. It was rather ironic that the only thing you could feel tore you apart. Ironic, but disgustingly painful.

That was life for you; an endless loop of questionable life decisions and pitiful thoughts.

How lovely.

“So, I’m going out for pizza with Raphael tonight.” Isabelle Lightwood was probably the only thing constant in your life. She was a friend as she was a distraction from your messed up life. “Do you want to come?”

“Raphael?” You asked timidly as you watched the scenery outside.

“Raphael Santiago, silly.” Izzy laughed — one of the many endearing qualities of hers. From the corner of your eye, you could see her trying on some leather jackets. “You met him last year.”

“I don’t remember.” You shrugged with a heavy sigh. At the moment, your mind resembled a Stygian forest — dark, hollow, and aimless. You didn’t really want to exert any effort to wander out of the bottomless pit of nothingness.

“Pale, handsome, tall, a bit of a drama queen,” Isabelle listed with a sly smile on her face. “Oh, and a Vampire, too.”

“Okay.”

Then you finally realized who he was. But, of course, you wouldn’t have chosen those words to describe him. You would have said he was unrealistically beautiful despite his bloodthirsty tendencies.

Raph was your friend for a thousand different reasons. One of which you felt comfortable around him. For some reason, both of you became better around each other.

Your thoughts went downhill the moment you considered the end to the aforementioned friendship. And there it was, the son of a bitch you identified as depression.

Funnily enough, you did end up going with Isabelle that night. Dressed in this morning’s sweater and baggy jeans, you were ready to find some closure before the next wave of anxiety hit you.

Like always, you weren’t bothered by the stiff, cold air of the night. It must be because you were used to the freezing chill the emanated from your vacuous body. Ah, agony nurtured you into a pathetic poet.

You reached the remote diner quickly than you thought you would. Since there weren’t many people hanging around, it was quite easy to spot your pearlescent friend.

“Fancy seeing you here, princess.” Raphael engulfed you in a tight hug once you reached him — the familiar sweet scent bringing you a taste of calmness. He dipped his head closer to you, “You look beautiful.”

“Thanks,” You deadpanned, sliding into the booth beside Izzy. “It’s the I just got out of bed look.”

“And somehow you still managed to look breathtaking.” Raphael winked.

The night was filled with subtle flirtatious hints, gigantic slices of pizza, and overused jokes that were kind of hilarious. All of which you were mentally absent for.

You closed the night out with a slow chomp of your pizza. The next moment, you were ahead of the others, already taking your place outside into the moonlight abyss.

Crickets and blaring horns greeted you right away. This was your home, you thought. A cacophony of a darkened city. Coincidentally, that was the exact description of your mind.

“Y/N!”

Looking behind you, you saw Raphael jogging towards you with a hint of a smile playing around on his lips. He furrowed his eyebrows for a second in question, “Aren’t you cold?”

“No, I’m used to it anyways.” You answered promptly. “Where’s Izzy?”

“She went to the girls’ room for a minute.” Raphael fiddled with his fingers for a few moments before taking a deep breath. “Listen, I wanted to ask you something.”

“Go ahead,” You replied. For some reason, you didn’t want to meet his gaze. There was something about his words that sent your heart pounding quicker in nervousness.

“Do you want to go out tomorrow night?” He finally asked, his voice quivering at some words at the end. The real question was the whereabouts of his usual confidence.

“We just went did today,” You acknowledged dismissively with a quizzical raise of your eyebrows.

“No, I-I,” Raphael began to stammer. The pressure levels filling up his entire being. Nonetheless, he soldiered through the upcoming embarrassment with a brave front. “I meant a date. Wi-Will you go on a date with me tomorrow night.”

He was asking you out. It was the very thing you feared most of all: a deep relationship. No. You couldn’t allow it. It was better if you’d go through the pain now then later. The heartbreak would be even antagonizing.

“No, no, no, no, no.” You were panicking. The thought of leaving him broke every inch of your dignity, at the same time you didn’t know what to do. You didn’t want to ruin him but you didn’t want to feel pain again. “I’m sorry. I just can’t.”

Selfishly, you ran away. Leaving the only person who could keep you sane in this horrid life.

“How could you just reject him like that?”

“There was no rejection involved whatsoever.” You replied idly the next day when Isabelle barged into your room, interrupting your session staring at the ceiling.

“You really broke his heart, Y/N.” She said, in a tone similar to the way a mother would scold her child for impish behavior.

“You would know a lot about that, don’t you, Isabelle?” You muttered aimlessly, tragically wanting to be left alone with your malevolent thoughts.

“Excuse me, what?”

“I said,” You sat upright now, heat coursing through your veins. “You seem to know a lot about Raphael’s heartbreak. Speaking from experience?”

Izzy gasped in shock, it was definitely unexpected coming from you. Nonetheless, she kept her composure. “Listen, I don’t know what you’re going through—”

“That’s the thing! Nobody knows and it’s driving me crazy.” You began to shout, not even knowing if you were understandable. “I’m so scared, Izzy. Everyone I love is going to leave me. I just-I just thought that if I kept to myself, it would hurt a lot less. But I’m losing my goddamn mind, and I’m scared.”

All this pent-up feeling, these thoughts finally voiced into words, it made an impact on you. To have finally shared these fears, it felt like an escape. A haven that you wished for since time and time again.

Isabella wasted no time in wrapping you in a tight hug. “Oh, darling, why didn’t you tell me this before?”

“Because I was a coward.”

“Raphael, I am so sorry.”

After the next few hours, you took it upon yourself to get up from the bed and meet up with Raphael at the local park that evening. You stayed in a secluded area, sitting beside him on a bench where not many people could see you. Though it was quite awkward so you broke the silence with an apology.

“No, it’s okay. It’s my fault.” He said, keeping his eyes forward — though it really was hurting him to not look at you.

“No, Raph, I was scared.” You managed hesitantly. You were worried and panicking again at the thought of expressing some of the things that haunted you every day. It was frightening to the point your fingers started to shake.

As you tried to calm your newfound quickened breathing and jittering leg, you spoke with even more croaky words. “Raphael, I–I–”

Suddenly, you were tearing up. The fogginess in your eyes brought you panic. Then you couldn’t feel your fingers. You were trying to breathe but you just couldn’t. Raphael didn’t notice your panic attack until you were sobbing loudly, desperately clawing at your chest to find peace.

His voice was lost in the sea of your vicious thoughts and incoherent cries of help. You were panting, inhaling more air than you should. You closed your eyes, trying to bask in the comfort of anything, but your fear of the darkness betrayed you.

Was this the end?

Or was this the sign that you could never experience happiness or forgiveness?

Either way, you were ready to give up. To shut down. To forever succumb to the inevitability of sorrow and despair, the absolute demon clamoring to take over your mind.

But then you heard his voice. The familiar calming baritone of his that comforted you no matter what. For whatever reason, or decision of fate, you somehow heard Raphael. Just him.

And he was saying, “Come on, princess. Breathe for me. It’s okay. I’m right here. I’m never leaving you. Just breathe for me, please.”

Although it brought you back to the horrid reality in which the pain festered in your chest, his voice was a change from the menacing inside voice that tormented you. Shaking your head violently, “S–s–so p–p–painful. . . I c–c – can't.”

You felt his arms wrap around you. His natural iciness seemed to disappear, and instead, he was actually warming you up. He was stroking your hair, whispering the sweetest of words.

Time began to speed up. Before you knew it, you had calmed down. Only the faint noise of the city sounds and your sniffles could be heard. After hours of just staring at the night sky, laying on Raphael’s chest, you whispered, “Raph, why does it hurt so much to breathe?”

“I wonder the exact same thing,” Raphael replied just as softly, never ceasing to massage your head. “But suddenly, I don’t feel lonely anymore.”

Taking a deep breath, “I’m sorry for everything. This emotional baggage. The mess. Everything. I’m so sorry.”

He paused his hand movements, tenderly placing his head on top of yours. “You don’t have to be sorry for anything. It’s life. I won’t love you any less because of this.”

“You love me?” You asked.

He hugged you a little tighter. “Ever since I met you and every little thing about you.”

“Will you stay with me, Raph?” You burrowed deeper into his hold, happily drowning in his scent. Today was a hell of an emotional rollercoaster, but thank heavens that it ended on a somewhat good note.

“Forever.”

Suddenly, breathing didn’t hurt as much.

(shadowhunters tag list: @slowly-but-shurley)

I Know You Feel What I Feel

I absolutely adore that 1x12 Malec scene and couldn’t stop thinking about the post from @magnusbicon about Alec proposing without a plan. Thus, this was born. I hope you like it! @royaltybane @kindaresilient @wirtanzenimregen

read on ao3

Alec leans a little more into Magnus, drowsy and content. The two of them are out on the balcony, relaxing on a balmy June night. The sky is clear with stars twinkling throughout the sky. It’s been a slow week and Alec’s ready to enjoy an equally uneventful weekend. Their Friday evening so far has consisted of takeout and a movie-- Pride and Prejudice, Alec’s pick.

They’d taken their wine glasses outside as the ending credits began to roll. There’s not much conversation as the two of them just enjoy being together in a way they aren’t always allowed. They’ve been together a little over three years and there are times Alec doesn’t fall asleep with Magnus for days at a stretch.

They like to savor these quiet times when they can.

Alec is humming a song that’s been stuck in his head since yesterday morning when he looks up at Magnus and the breath is knocked from him.

Magnus Bane is the most beautiful man Alec has ever seen.

There’s something about the way the candlelight is hitting his face. From this angle, where Alec is snuggled into his side, he looks ethereal. Untouchable but with a warmth that’s dizzying.

It makes Alec want to reach out and touch it, see if the fire can warm his bones.

But Alec already knows just how far Magnus’s magic reaches. Magnus reached out to him, into him, turning the cold, bitter man who was sleepwalking through life into someone who leads with a passion. Magnus didn’t save Alec’s life but he gave Alec a reason to stand up and fight-- fight for who he was, who he wanted to be, what he wanted his world to look like.

Alec is eternally grateful to Magnus.

Alec loves Magnus with a desperation that still takes him by surprise. Sometimes it reaches up into his throat and strangles him, the pure love and adoration that covers him like the most valuable armor.

It’s a moment like this when Alec’s brain abandons his mouth for the thousandth time. He looks up at Magnus like he hung all the stars in the sky and the words leave him before he knows that he’s even opened his mouth.

“Marry me,” he whispers.

Magnus looks down from where he’d been staring out over Brooklyn, marveling as he always does that he gets to have this. He gets a quiet evening with the love of his life, eating greasy takeout and holding Alec as he sucks every bit of heat from Magnus. Alec is perennially cold and his favorite way to warm up is to leech all of Magnus’s body heat for his own. It's an adorable quirk that Magnus loves to pretend irritates him, but he can never hide his smile as Alec burrows even deeper into his side.

Magnus loves a good party but he loves nights like these with Alec so much more, it’s laughable.

So, as he turns his head and looks down at a face he’ll always remember, he replays what Alec’s just said. He halfways expects Alec to look panicked and despairing.

That’s not what he sees, though.

He sees his stunning boyfriend, eyes soft and mouth tilted up in a smile that’s as vulnerable as it is content. Alec’s not furiously taking back his words. There’s no stutter, no uncertainty. Magnus’s gaze moves over Alec, sees the slow sweep of his lashes, the messy hair. He sees the faint wrinkles forming around the eyes and laugh lines just starting to bracket that mouth he loves so much. He thinks about the past few months, the dizzying activity that had resulted in Alec's new, infinite, lifespan.

As if there is any other answer.

“Yes,” Magnus breathes, arm tightening around Alec’s shoulders.

He leans down to kiss Alec. It’s like everything is happening in slow motion. He sees Alec rapidly blink before a dazzling grin lights up his features. He hears the stunned inhale and as their lips meet, feels the relieved sigh Alec lets out.

The kiss moves from soft and wondering to messy. There’s teeth and tongue and a heat so hot it scorches them both down to the bone.

They love the burn.

The kiss doesn’t last long before their smiles are breaking through, making everything infinitely more difficult but so much more satisfying.

They pull back with eyes closed, breathing harsh in the still night.

Alec opens his eyes and looks over at his love. He’s dazed and so happy he feels like he could burst.

Magnus said yes. Magnus wants him, Alec Lightwood, as his husband.

Alec blinks away tears and touches his forehead to Magnus’s.

“Hi, fiancé,” he whispers.

Magnus smiles a little to himself before blinking open eyes that have lost their glamour. Alec’s breath catches in his throat, awe struck and blinded by the wave of love and lust that washes over him.

“Hi, fiancé,” Magnus echoes.

They stare at each other for a weightless moment. This is the line, ephemeral and sweet. This is where things change once again. It’s always been Alec and Magnus but it’s now become AlecandMagnus in a way that will be irrevocable. Alec feels like a seismic shift has settled in him. Nothing painful or harsh, but the pieces of him that have been so tattered and bruised and bent have rearranged themselves into a complete puzzle.

Magnus is the only one who could have put him together.

Alec leans in and kisses Magnus again, a lingering string of kisses sweet as syrup and twice as light.

Magnus stands up the next time they pull apart, immediately missing the long line of warmth along his side. He keeps his grasp on Alec’s hand and smiles as he sees Alec’s confused expression.

He nods towards the balcony doors. “Don’t you think it’s time we took this celebration indoors, Mr. Lightwood-Bane?”

Alec jolts like he’s been struck by lightning before his eyes turn molten. Slowly, he stands up and gives Magnus a thorough onceover.

“Why, yes, Mr. Lightwood-Bane, I do believe it’s time we moved inside. I have plans and they involve a bed, no clothes, and no interruptions.”

Magnus grins, eyes dancing. He grandly sweeps out the arm not entangled with Alec’s and motions towards the door.

“What are we waiting for?”

Alec moves into Magnus’s space and slowly guides him back into the loft. Walking backwards, Magnus becomes disoriented when Alec starts kissing his neck, laving at his pulse point, biting, and Magnus stumbles on his way to the bedroom. He can feel Alec’s smug grin as he gasps. He can’t clear his head enough to retaliate and a moment later, he’s falling backwards, Alec a welcome weight on top of him as they reach the bed.

His head is swimming, all of his thoughts-- his only thought-- Alec.

Magnus opens his legs a little wider and Alec settles against him, close and hot and familiar.

He almost doesn’t hear Alec’s words, whispered in his ear.

“I lose my breath every time you enter a room.”

It’s Magnus who’s left gasping as Alec slowly, painstakingly, unbuttons Magnus’s waistcoat and shirt, leaving him bare, a fine sheen of sweat already covering him from his neck down to his chest.

Kissing down his chest, Alec murmurs his next words against heated flesh.

“My heart beats faster when you walk by.”

Magnus shivers, feeling Alec’s wandering hands move down until he’s tracing the outline of Magnus’s cock with the lightest of touches that sends his pulse racing and makes every line tense, waiting for Alec’s next move.

“My skin tingles when I stand close enough to feel your breath.”

Magnus shudders at the hot words against his stomach before going completely still.

Suddenly, he remembers the last time those words left his mouth. Him, earnest and pleading to a cold, closed-off Alec. His Alexander, just another shadowhunter, but with something indefinable that tugged at Magnus’s heartstrings in a way he hadn’t experienced in decades.

Now that the fog of lust has cleared from his head, Magnus remembers how he had tried his damnedest to get through to Alec and how Alec’s icy, accusing reply had made his words taste like ash.

He remembers leaving after that last ultimatum.

You have a choice to make. I will not ask again.

If only he’d known how things would end up. He wishes he could’ve seen that the brusque, lonely shadowhunter who had been so afraid and unwilling to open his heart would turn out to be the most loving, open man he’s ever had the good fortunate to meet.

Magnus looks down from where he’d been staring at the ceiling to see Alec’s steady gaze on him. Their eyes meet and a world of understanding, a lifetime of love, passes between them.

Holding his stare, Alec slowly crawls up the bed until his face is only inches above Magnus’s. His eyes hold everything Magnus has ever wanted as he opens his mouth, tongue darting out to wet his lips.

“You just don’t get it,” Alec says, painfully soft. “You’re the love of my life. You flirt, and you laugh, and you use magic. Everything you do drives me crazy and I wake up more in love with you then when I went to bed the night before.”

His smile is barely there, a little thing that makes Magnus want to pull him close and never let go, as he continues. “You make me a better man, a better shadowhunter, and I’m grateful every day that I get to have this. That I get to have you.

“We’re getting married,” Alec says, voice full of wonder and a profound joy that Magnus feels echoing in his own heart.

“We’re getting married and I get to spend the rest of my life with you, the most amazing man I’ve ever met.”

Magnus smiles up at Alec, feels like he’s going to explode from the happiness radiating through him. “And I get to spend the rest of my life with you,” he says, so in love he feels like he’s drowning in it.

What a way to go.

“It’s the honor of my immortal life to love and be loved by you.”

Magnus closes his eyes as the words wash over him. Alec, the damn poet, never fails to make him swoon. It’s a talent that he wouldn’t have suspected the surly shadowhunter to possess, but it’s one of Magnus’s favorite things about him. He’s blunt and a little rude, but all of that changes into something incomparably vulnerable and honest when turned towards Magnus. It never stops the ache in his heart at the beautiful man he’s found.

Magnus’s thoughts break off a moment later as Alec clambers out of the bed. Magnus immediately misses the warmth that was surrounding him, shivering a little as cold air reaches his heated skin.

Alec is rummaging around in their dresser and Magnus has the brief thought of asking, what the hell are you doing Alexander, when the breath is knocked from his lungs.

Alec turns around and he’s holding a royal blue box. He walks slowly over to the bed and Magnus hastily sits up, not wanting to miss a moment of the unfolding scene.

Alec climbs back into bed, straddling Magnus’s legs, settling onto his thighs. He holds the box up between them. He’s looking at Magnus with his entire heart in his eyes and Magnus’s breath stutters as Alec’s tongue darts out to lick his lips.

“I once told you that we had very different ideas of what marriage should be,” he starts softly. “I’m very happy to admit that I was wrong. I want to marry you because I can’t imagine a life without you in it. I want to wake up every morning seeing your adorably messy hair and end each day wrapped in your arms. I want to show our family and friends-- the whole damn world-- how much you mean to me. I want to celebrate our love until the sun burns out.”

The tears pooling in Magnus’s eyes fall and Alec reaches up and gently wipes them away. His own eyes are glistening as he pops open the box. Magnus looks down and sees a stunning yellow stone set in a white gold, diamond encrusted band. It’s beautiful and Magnus’s gaze flies up to meet Alec’s as he hears his love clear his throat.

“I’ve had this ring for awhile. I bought it ages ago but the timing never seemed right. I should have known I couldn’t plan this moment.” Alec laughs wetly. “This is a golden sapphire. It reminded me of your eyes, those beautiful eyes I love so much. It’s luck that this stone symbolizes divine favor, considering it feels like Raziel himself has blessed me with you.”

Alec takes the ring out, tossing the box over his shoulder. He reaches for Magnus’s hand, not commenting on the faint tremor.

His eyes are vulnerable and full of the most intense love Magnus has ever felt when he next speaks.

“Magnus Bane, love of my life. I know you feel what I feel. Will you marry me?”

Magnus is nodding fervently before Alec stops talking, muttering “Yes, yes, yes,” as Alec slides the ring onto his finger.

Candlelight catches in the stone, turning it into liquid fire. It’s beautiful and perfectly fits.

Magnus never dared to dream up a man like Alexander. Alec is stubborn and blunt and a force to be reckoned with. He’s also the only person who has ever made Magnus feel like he’s the most important thing in the world. Alec’s love never fails to stun him when he lets the full breadth of his love and devotion hit Magnus. Magnus has never been important enough to anyone for marriage and it aches-- a sharp pain that’s blunted considerably over the years-- that through Alec’s eyes, he’s worth it.

Alec is worth everything to Magnus and he will spend the rest of his life proving it.

They’re both leaning in and, objectively, the kiss might be the worst one they’ve ever shared-- teeth keep clashing and it’s more panting into each other’s mouths as they can’t stop grinning long enough to do things properly.

However, both think it’s perfect.

The rest of eternity stretches out before them. There will be fights and conflicts and disagreements-- that’s the nature of life. But their love will remain, ever steady and only increasing.

Alec leans into Magnus until he’s flat on his back, Alec enveloping him. The kisses are slow and lingering-- they have all the time in the world.

There was a time both Alec and Magnus despaired over the gaping chasm of their life rolling out before them. It seemed too much, not worth it. Those days are long over and both are eager to start the next chapter of their lives, at each other's side.

The loft shimmers a faint blue, buzzing almost as if it’s a living entity. Magnus’s feelings are swelling and his magic reaches out, lighting everything with the warm glow of his heart. Alec feels the magic kiss his skin, can’t help but gasp into Magnus’s mouth as every nerve ending fires. They make love into the waning hours, reveling in each other, desperate to show their love.

It’s a moment that imprints itself on their minds. They remember this night for centuries to come, long after everything else they’ve known has changed and faded.

Alec and Magnus are a constant, a story for the ages. This start of a new chapter is a crystalline memory that represents an everlasting love that never dies, never wavers.

They bask in the moment, in each other, and let everything else fall away.

May Media Madness!

Okay, I understand that this blog is just a wild clusterfuck of things I like all smashed together (which yes I know is the most disorganized way to do anything on this site). I can’t help it that I feel the need to yell about my book feelings one minute and then anime feelings the next. But honestly if I were to try to make separate accounts just to organize my different interests, it would be even more of a disaster than this blog is on its own. So I started keeping track of the the media I go through every month!

So really this is just my excuse to tell everyone what I watched/read/listened to every month, and who knows, maybe someone will find something they like. *and maybe I’ll actually be able to keep track of what things came out this year so I’ll remember what I liked by the end of 2018*

Movies!

Avengers Infinity War: I mean..what else do I need to say. I feel like I’m just holding my breath until Captain Marvel comes to fix everything. 9/10

Treasure Planet: My favorite Disney movie of all time! Please God if you haven’t watched this movie just do it. It’s Treasure Island in space with alien pirates and a protagonist WITH NO LOVE INTERESTS voiced by a young squeaky sounding Joseph Gordon Levitt. 10/10

I, Tonya: The 2017 documentary about figure skater Tonya Harding and her involvement with the 1994 incident surrounding Nancy Kerrigan. I like figure skating. I like Margot Robbie. It’s an interesting story, but you do have to take everything with a grain of salt. 8/10

What We Do in The Shadows: A hilarious mockumentary DIRECTED BY TAIKA WAITITI (and Jemaine Clement) about the daily (or should I say nightly) lives of a group of vampires living as flatmates in the modern world. I can’t believe it took me so long to watch this since I’ve been vaguely aware of its existence since it came out. AND IT’S AVAILABLE ON AMAZON PRIME! 10/10

Books!

Wonder Woman Warbringer by Leigh Bardugo: A different take on the Wonder Woman origin story where Diana Prince instead leaves the island of the Amazons to save a teenage girl who is a descendent of Helen of Troy and stop the world from being further plunged into a state of constant war. It’s entertaining and reads like a YA version of a Rick Riordan book with its fair share of twists and turns. 8/10

Trials of Apollo- The Burning Maze by Rick Riordan: Speaking of Mr. Riordan...it’s book 3 in the Trials of Apollo series! If you think Riordan lost his edge or has gone soft on his characters...think again. This series is just progressively getting darker and more heart wrenching as it goes along. I’m genuinely afraid of what the other books will bring. 9/10

The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee: BY FAR THE MOST ENTERTAINING AND FUN BOOK I HAVE READ THIS SPRING! It’s a period piece about an arrogant bisexual teenage boy, his best friend (who he is secretly in love with and who also happens to be a man of color), and his younger sister (who is a confirmed asexual) go on tour of Europe where wild and crazy adventures ensue. THAT’S ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW, NOW GO READ IT 1000/10

Scythe by Neal Shusterman: I could talk about this book for hours. It takes place in a world where humanity has basically conquered death because of insane medical and social advancements that have wiped out poverty, disease, and even old age. But because people don’t die naturally anymore, a certain group of people called Scythes are tasked with gleaning the population. It has a very similar vibe to The Giver, and it’s a book I think everyone should read at some point even if you come out if it hating everything about it. If I were a teacher, this would be my assigned reading just because there is so much to unpack about everything. PLEASE TALK TO ME ABOUT THIS BOOK.  8/10

And yes I’m currently reading Thunderhead but I don’t know if I’ll finish it by the end of the month.

TV Shows!

Neo Yokio: Uhhhh I honestly can’t even give a description of this show. I think Gigguk described it best when he said it is like an abridged series for an anime that only exists in Jaden Smith’s head. It was hilarious and entertaining...but only because of how ridiculously terrible everything about it is. I give it 7 big toblerones out of 10

American Vandal: A Netflix original series done in a mockumentary format about a teenage boy who is accused of painting 27 dicks on 27 cars in the school faculty parking lot. This is the kind of show where you go in thinking it’s going to be ridiculous and then by the end of the first episode you’ll have your own cork board with string and conspiracy theories out the ass. It is hilarious but also has some unexpected feels. 9/10

Honorable mentions

I rewatched Yu-gi-oh the abridged series for the first time since the dark ages.

Shadowhunters season 3 ended this month!

The 12 spring anime that I’m currently watching because this season is stacked, and that’s why I hardly watched any tv shows!