succession is simultaneously a:

shakespearean tragedy

postmodern tragicomedy

drama about dysfunctional families and cycles of abuse/trauma

comedy about the absurdity of the ultra wealthy

surreal circus of repressed queerness

political critique of the toxicity of late-stage capitalism

trying to pinpoint exactly what kind of show it is feels impossible, and that's what makes it good – you can rewatch it and experience it from a different lens each and every time and i love it for that

MY stranger things unpopular opinions <3

ok nobody asked but these r my stranger things unpopular opinions, inspired by a tweet where people just shared super common and well accepted opinions instead of actual controversy lol

also half of these r gonna be ronance centered because they’re literally all i think about

- first and foremost, nancy is a lesbian. i think so many of her actions and struggles can absolutely be traced back to comphet and repression and i feel like people want to cling onto her romance with steve and jonathan as a way to justify her fondness for them, when i think she can just care about them because they’re her friends and they’re trauma bonded(tm)

- while i like steve and robin being besties as much as everyone else i feel like people overestimate how close they really are in canon. of course they’re best friends but they really aren’t overly dependent on each other like people interpret them to be. they’re best friends but they also function really well on their own.

- though there’s no denying that will has feelings for mike i sincerely doubt that those romantic feelings are reciprocated and i think people are way too confident that byler is gonna be canon

- elmax is miles better than almost every canon AND fanon relationship in the show (i’d argue jopper and lumax (and biased opinion ronance) are the only genuine contenders)

- while i make a habit of being overly critical of men i think people forget that the “grumpy dad” trope with hopper that they like so much comes with him being a total dick sometimes lol

- both jonathan AND steve were weird as fuck in season 1. y’all r having a mid-off when u argue jancy vs. stancy

- and by mid-off i mean stancy wasn’t as bad as y’all act like it was and jancy is not as good as y’all act like it is

- y’all infantilize the FUCK out of robin buckley and im SICK OF IT!! she’s incredibly smart and strong and u people act like she’s stupid/a pushover/a nervous little baby

- in general i think the ronance fandom likes to apply tropes to nancy and robin in a way that isn’t accurate to their characters. its a very common and predictable pattern and i think thats why a lot of fan works feel out of character (an example to this is people applying grumpy x sunshine to nancy and robin respectively and it just doesn’t fit)

- karen is not a good mother. i think everyone can agree karen is weird as fuck for the billy thing, but i see a lot of people argue for karen that she’s really grown as a mother but i’m not seeing it. i don’t doubt that she loves her kids but there’s a reason mike and nancy are Like That

- y’all made up a ton of steve’s personality traits. i’m all good with interpreting his character a certain way but if the reason you hate nancy wheeler is because she unknowingly poked at insecurity of steve’s that u made up i have 0 respect for ur opinions lol

- and on that note steve is pretty badly written. i don’t think his path to “redemption” was bad but he’s so far from anything special that the love he gets from the fandom astounds me

- luckily this opinion isnt as unpopular anymore but steddie was figment of fandom imagination and the fact that it rotted y’all’s brains so bad to the point where you convinced yourself eddie munson was actually really important is just so...

- if you make fruity four content without nancy because you don’t think she’s interesting enough you’re a loser

- byclair is literally SOOOO much better than byler the fact that y’all aren’t going to war for them is upsetting

- this better not be an unpopular opinion but ive been seeing more of it recently: if you think joyce byers is a bad mother block me rn

- any hate that eleven, max, and nancy get is almost ALWAYS rooted in misogyny

ok thats it i probably have more but i cant think of any </3

since people agree with me on my last post; Reasons Steve Harrington needs to have a breakdown in season 5 and why the duffers deserve to give Joe Keery the scene(s) he would SERVE: a small but crucial thread

- mr man got drugged and heavily beat up by fucking RUSSIANS and you just expected him to never talk about it again? Or have literally not ONE single person ask if he was okay?? My boy was on the floor unconscious while Robin pleaded for them to do something cause she thought her new friend was dead and you expect the two of them to pretend that wasn’t traumatic asf?? - there was definitely trauma behind his “king Steve” days and why he became king Steve but I won’t get into that right now - everyone knows the codes in his parental trauma, c’mon duffers let’s bring it to light. I need to see Steve just finally break over not having a family to go home to. Like - after star court when he’s watching all his friends hug their family and he’s just standing there with a sad smile?? Yeah no, we should’ve seen him go home alone and break down in his empty and quiet living room. Or even let him talk about it. Someone needs to ask something and he finally just spills what everyone already knew and THEN some. Childhood trauma he’s repressed that one day finally comes to life. His dad was a, and I quote, “grade a asshole” and he was more scared of his FATHER finding out about the whole barb situation than the police and that’s not a red flag to anyone as to who his father is and why he’s scared?? I could go on and on about Steve Harrington’s bad parents and how it’s affected him and the headcanons I have that go along with it - We all already know Stevie boy is fruity as they come, let’s see a scene where he has a bi panic/breakdown. (Not to diminish Robin’s scene in the slightest), but we need a bathroom scene but vice verca roles now. We know the duffers would never outright talk about Steve’s sexuality because they’re cowards and like to make people suffer, but the least they could do is hint at it and give the people what they want and the real ones will understand. He needs to have a bathroom scene and I said what I said (again though, not to forget about Robin’s scene or outshine her scene in anyway). - Let’s talk about how he’s only 19 (was only 17-18 when the whole upside down shit started) and he’s the only one who doesn’t get to show the tole it’s taking on him because he’s the “oldest” of the group? No thanks. He needs to be at his LIMIT. I need to see him BREAK over exhaustion and fear. I need him to break down in front of EVERYONE (well, the people who matter) and I need the others to see the emotional and physical tole this has taken on him that they’ve just completely missed. I need him on the floor SOBBING and blubbering and heaving out how “I have trauma too!” And how “he’s alone!” - Now, let’s talk about how Steve was supposed to die in season one but they liked Joe Keery’s Performance so much they decided to keep his character and play around with it. It just goes to show how great Joe is and why he would put his entire ass into giving us the best and saddest Steve Harrington breakdown of all time because I just know Joe is also asking him, was my character born without tear ducts cause what is this?? First statement being said, I have a strong suspicion he’ll die in the next season and if he does, all I have to say is, that was NOT the breakdown we wanted duffers

Okay listen yall how about a But I’m a Cheerleader AU for the fruity four? They all get sent to some conversion camp at the same time so that’s how they meet. 

Robin starts out hating Nancy’s guts because she’s this little miss perfect that Robin’s parents always wanted her to be and that she never could live up to - which is why she ended up at that stupid camp. Nancy also hates Robin because she’s so unapologetically herself while Nancy has repressed and bottled up everything she shouldn’t be for literal YEARS and still ended up at that fucking camp feeling like her life is over. They get closer over time and gradually start realizing how much they’re alike, both struggling with trying to fit into this mold their parents and the society around them wants them to fit into. They help each other to really bring out the best in themselves and soon enough they start to develop some feelings for each other.

When Steve and Eddie first meet, they hate each other just as much as Nancy and Robin. Eddie obviously hates literally everything Steve stands for, the rich preppy boy who is a master in forced conforming and actually wants to do the whole marriage-and-kids-at-the-end-of-the-cul-the-sac thing when he finishes his therapy. And Eddie gets completely on Steve’s nerves, because Steve genuinely came to that camp to fix himself, and here is this guy (this hot guy) purposefully trying to sabotage all his progress and making way too much effort to stand out in every way possible. But when they get to know each other better, they end up connecting over both having the literal worst parents ever and Eddie helps Steve fight his internalized homophobia while Steve calms Eddie’s anger.

(Also the side plot possibilities are ENDLESS. You can totally include Jargyle and Vickie x Chrissy sorry idk their shipping name as well. or even more ships just throw them all in there, make it as gay as possible. Jonathan and Will both being sent there by Lonnie without Joyce knowing, and Joyce trying to find them? Steve and Nancy trying to be normal and start something together which is completely NOT working? Billy being there and making everyone’s lives even more hellish while he keeps insisting he’s straight and his father sent him there by mistake?)

Anyway sorry for getting carried away let’s go back to the main plot: the four of them end up running away together. (Maybe some of the younger kids like Byler and/or El(u)max are also there and they smuggle them out to protect them or something idk.) They go to Eddie’s estranged uncle, who’s the black sheep of the Munson family and may or may not be queer himself, and they end up a big happy VERY GAY family.

(EDIT: i have no self-control and started writing this fic, you can read it here if you want to, but it’s not finished yet!)

Day 13 - Favorite ship(s)? Any Torchwood OTPs? Go ahead, gush about them!

dude i multiship so hard in this fandom i dont think there’s a single combination i havent thought of + found a way to enjoy, and that extends to trios. AND i like tw poly. i am mashing them together like barbie dolls. i am having sm fun here in my room

even the ones i don’t exactly “like” still make me Feel Things (more on that later), and even the ones i tend to prefer as friends (more on that later, too), i can still see it if i want to yknow. that’s what’s fun about the slutty bisexy show! woo! they all compel me. 

nonetheless, here are the pairings i like the most, ranked by how often i think of them + how insane they make me. im not gonna gush a ton, actually, bc i get annoyed w how much i talk, so ill keep every explanation under 15 words

owen x ianto: I Want Them Covered in Blood Together (Gnashing My Teeth) (by fall out boy)

owen x andy: golden retriever boyfriend for owen bc sometimes it’s nice to not be angsty (gooseberry who?)

owen x jack: i dont know how they make me feel but they make me feel Something :/

ianto x tosh: THEY’D BE SO CUTE they’d be precious that’s all

tosh x andy: see above. tosh deserves a sweet bf (there are no girls to ship her with 😔)

owen x suzie: they’re mirrors, they’re the same… they intrigue me. also Hawt xD (im bi)

owen x gwen: better as besties imho but im still a bi moron who’s not immune

jack x ianto: overrated imho BUT i do still like them. sigh. dead line speech wahhh

gwen x rhys: i love their relationship troubles n the way it grounds the show. theyre cute

jack x the doctor: sending jack off to harass the doctor so the team can Rest (+ Im Compelled)

jack x gwen: they compel me a little. a teeny bit. not too much but a little

(can u tell i like owen ships. he just has such fascinating relationships w everyone)

ok i lied ill say a couple things. firstly my otp being owento… i’ve talked a bit about it but in brief it started out because i can't resist having at least one enemies/rivals to lovers ship per fandom and ep12 blew my mind a little - and then something just Clicked and they somehow achieved top ten ships of all time status in my brain?? idk what happened there. i usually go for canon-based ships, so having one that kind of lacks substance in the source media (allegedly; i think they’re fruity in canon. but u know what i mean like theyre not ‘canon’ in a show where there is in fact gay TEXT rather than just the subtextual shit theyre doing yanno) and is largely a beast of my own creation (+ the influence of the wonderful handful of fic writers we’ve had over the years) has been rlly fun. 

im largely preoccupied with those two, but i’ve found jack + his relationship with ianto kind of inherently haunts owen x ianto… if you’ve read my fic you know what i mean by that. i can’t see owento existing on its own, like janto fundamentally co-exists next to it so i have to take it into account, and then jack and owen also have a fascinating relationship so i’ve kind of just ended up spending a lot of time thinking about and figuring out owen x ianto x jack in all combinations, because there’s a lot of fascinating stuff going on there from every end. introducing owen to the equation also kind of… ig redeems janto for me, bc i found them offensively underwhelming in s1 and s2. they should be dark and fucked up, and they’re not. owen kind of… brings smth dark and fucked up to the table, and a lot of why i like shipping him with ianto is bc they bring shit out of each other - and owen, for his part, is capable of bringing out ianto’s repressed rage and forcing him to deal with things he’d rather try to compartmentalize and ignore… i find that super compelling, and i also find it useful for breaking down my issues with how jack & ianto’s relationship is initially presented. like, he’s a handy narrative tool for that hfsdjkf. point is, whether i like it or not, jack and his relationships with my girlies (owen n ianto are the girlies <3) is kind of also an intrinsic part of what most of my fixation-oriented brain power goes into thinking about. i’ve been developing this huge fic ‘verse fdhfjk.... Im Very Tired

sometimes i like fun, though, which is what’s behind a lot of those other ships. i’m generally into very dark + angsty + psychological themes, but sometimes fluff and domesticity and occasional silliness is nice, and that’s what’s behind owandy (i have an au where they meet before owen dies) and iantosh (+ gwen x rhys) as my sort of… alternative endgame. my comfort ‘au’. not an au, exactly, but an alternative fluffier world to the darker owento-based one i’ve crafted and spend most of my time thinking about fdshkfj. i also like sending jack off to go bother the doctor, in this ‘au’, because unfortunately i don’t think he’s conductive to the team’s happiness. i think he needs to find his own way to heal and that should probs include the doctor, considering how obsessed jack is with them + how much he needs to unpack All That Shit he has going on before he can be any sort of truly positive force in the lives of the tw team. so for now he’s banned from the polycule for jack crimes. listen, i love that torchwood’s inherently sad and dark and lonely, it’s what compels me, and i’m ultimately glad that’s the core of the show - but it doesn’t have to be. sometimes i enjoy a nicer alternative. i think they could fix it. and that’s what fandom + fanfic is for. 

i also have several ot3s i enjoy, mostly owen ones. i think he deserves a bf + a gf, i think it’d fix him. put that bitch in a bisexual sandwich and maybe he'd behave. in particular, i love owen x tosh x ianto, it’s the only place i ship owen/tosh bc i think ianto would keep owen in check and they’d all better each other. i love owen x tosh x andy for similar reasons. can you tell the four characters im biased towards fhdskj. (i love gwen just as much but she’s kind of doing her own thing with just rhys and jack imo fdkfjsd. perhaps torchwood is composed of two polycules and jack is the link between both of them)

https://www.tumblr.com/starlightshadowsworld/722607362837446656/okay-kinda-random-but-do-you-have-any-fic

Answering to this—I should’ve been specific but I love the work you do with stranger things and maybe you have any old fics you’ve read? i understand you probably don’t read as much anymore but it’s worth a shot haha

Aw thank you.

Sure!

Here are some of my favs.

Will preface by saying they are Steve centric stories.

Most are completed but I've noted which aren't.

Tried to give a bit of a variety though I did get a wee bit carried away 😅.

.

The boy who listened by CrystalDragonette.

Short story about how Steve notices little things. And Gareth of all people giving him a chance to say his piece.

And than using said info to completely fuck with Eddie.

Also by them, Steve vists the Byers (and threatens a child).

Pretty self explanatory, a lil one shot about Steve visiting the Byers and encountering Angela.

.

A Hedge of Brier Rose's by APuckish_Wit

The group make a plan to rescue Max and defeat Vecna for good.

Steve ends up sacrificing himself.... But all hope is not lost.

You might want tissues for this.

.

with no cross to bear (these words just come out) by hitlikeahammer

Eddie has decided that Steve deserves all the love and recognition he deserves and is going to make sure he gets it.

Aka Eddie loves steve and wants everyone to know how awesome steve is.

.

You made us feel like we could fly by Caroline_is_not_here

The one in which multiple head traumas lead Steve to go deaf.

A fic about him managing that, learning ASL and falling for the Deaf schools music teacher.

.

Just Close Your Eyes ( the sun is going down) by httphimbo

Not completed.

Stranger things X hunger games AU

Where Steve volunteers for Dustin and isn't sure if the mysterious Eddie, the tribute from District 3 can be trusted or not.

.

The Fruity Four Beat 1983 To Death With A Nail Bat by TheKidReadingInTheCorner

Robin, Steve, Eddie and Nancy are all bought back to 1983, the day before Will goes missing.

Armed with this knowledge earlier, they go to kick ass, adopt a lab kid and save as many people as they can.

It is fucking chaos, it's amazing and a sequel is in the works called The Skittle Six Bodyslam 1984 Into Another Dimension (Literally).

.

off the beaten path by Pukner

Steve (finally after years of repression) comes out as Bi. And figures that hey Eddie is cute, and he has that bandana in his pocket so he must also be queer.

Except Eddie has that bandana for aesthetic purposes, he thinks he's straight.

Cue Steve and Eddie flirting and neither of them realising the others intentions.

Part 1 of the off the script series there's 2 other entries, no boys allowed and here be dragons.

Funniest shit I've ever read even with the oh... Oh no..

.

Now it's your Turn Baby by datfangirlman

Not completed.

Eddie doesn't believes Steve's changed. No matter how much the party insist he has.

So they make a bet.

For Eddie to be Steve's friend for a month to see if Steve isn't a jerk anymore.

This has unforseen consequences when Steve develops feelings for Eddie and vice versa.

It's like a train wreck you can't stop staring at it.

.

The Fallen King and the King of the Freaks by Knight_of_Tartarus

Not completed.

Season 2, Steve having to deal with everything and Eddie gets the great idea to help the former King.

Aka Hellfire adopts Steve.

.

How to rehabilitate a jock in four months by towardthesun

Not completed.

Essentially the above two put together. Except hellfire aren't as... Welcoming.

Steve's at rock bottom and Eddie decides to run an experiment by inviting Steve into hellfire. Striking a deal with them that he can get Steve to change in 4 months.

The group don't like him and think hell never change so they (begrudgingly) agree... Except they start to actually like him.

... And Steve has no knowledge of this deal.

Another delightful train wreck.

And if I may be so bold, my own fics My Emergency Phone call

A fic based on the Noah Kahan song Dial Drunk.

Where Steve gets into trouble and his real family comes through for him

And The new Hopper

Stranger things X The black phone

Not completed

Where Vance Hopper ends up staying at his uncles in Hawkins, and finds that one of his old friends has been their all along.

Finney and Steve are the same person, they reunite and it's just fun.

Both are by me, SparkyIceblaze.

Hope they are enjoyable, lemme know if you need a link if one doesn't show up.

i know everyone has an opinion but to me Buck n Steve are both gay canonically.

it's deeper than memes to me, but to use memes: every version Steve ends up being that "maybe a man hurts every woman in his life because his real soulmate is a man 👆🏾 " meme, and Bucky.. admitedly all Buckys are believable as bi, but to me he only dates women to prove he can pull them and would only go the Lavender Marriage route as gal pal #ally Bucky Barnes 😊

now if marvel truly had the vision, they'd let Steve come out of his centuries' worth of repression and 🎤be who you are🎶🎵 and let himself be a little fruity when the occasion calls for it. occasions including, hanging out with the other gays, or when the public is scandalized by papparazzi pics of Steve Rogers being a homo so he, being uncompromising and even contrarian at times, starts purposefully acting zestier and zestier whenever he spots the paps trying to get pictures of him.

I can see it.

(I have a looong long meta here on why I, especially, cannot Steve as any kind of w-attracted, in fact! To the surprise of no one, lol.)

Bucky to me seems like he has more of an aesthetic appreciation of women. (Like, if one of them was ever going to have a drag persona? Bucky) He seems more motivated to be gallant and polite to them than Steve, whether or not he is attracted to them. He will dutifully perform comphet for women, in situations where it would be expected (and thus to not do it, in his day, would be tantamount to an insult??). Whereas Steve won't even bother lol. He'll just assiduously avoid those circumstances altogether, and only relax around women when the context is strictly familial/platonic/work-related.

(Plus, y'know, Bucky had sisters, and ofc his hobby of dancing literally requires a woman, back then, so he'd need a gal in his life in order to access that particular channel of joy, safely.)

Steve however is the type to be pretty masc when he's just chillin, but the second he gets the merest whiff of homophobia that Lil Shit Mode activates and he becomes Captain America: ✨Camp Icon✨.

Would attend drag brunches, Pride parades (shirtless but with his shield harness), derail a pundit interview trying to imply the 'good old days' were better to talk about the time he was gay-bashed by the troops literally the same day as rescuing the 107, would own a set of pastel 'QUEER AS IN FUCK YOU' t shirts and wear them out to places he knows the paps will try to snatch a picture of him, would re-enact his 'lifting up chorus girls on a motorcycle' stunt with trans women, do a physique calendar w/ trans men for queer charities, etc etc etc.

And if anyone tried to micro-aggressively sneer at beefy Bucky for, eg. having prettily-braided hair or wearing pastels? Oof, they better hope Steve isn't within fuckin earshot.

when people are like "i'm going to Score A Win For The Gays by performatively decrying Taylor/Brian" but actually they're just being racist

Alright it’s almost 2 AM time for an unhinged rant

This is my #1 pet peeve actually. As a pasty white queer person nothing pisses me off more than white queer people (or even just queer people full stop) using their queer/gay/lgbt card to just be another kind of bigot. You can be queer and still be racist besties! Examine your beliefs and question why you believe them!!!

But in all seriousness people performatively decrying Taylor/Brian as either “uwu Taylor must be a wlw untouched by the impure hand of Men” or “Not-as-slick-as-y’all-think-you-are racists” gets on my nerves so bad. Because you’re missing the chance to appreciate the actual text of the story AND the bittersweet tragedy of it all. Just because (spoilers) they didn’t work out and Brian dies unceremoniously without Taylor knowing or bothering to double check (right before she scrambles her brains and uses the fabricated idea of Brian in a cabin as her anchor to reality), doesn’t mean that they didn’t impact each other and make each other better (and worse) people in long-lasting ways. Yes, Taylor MAJORLY fucked up Brian by abandoning/betraying him when he really needed that stability and she promised that she could deliver it, and it’s cathartic to get out of Taylor’s head and see that he actually did find someone he could lean on in Cozen, but also we can see how this kind of young, naive, and well-meaning but ultimately destructive kind of love that I’m sure many of us encountered when we were young and fucked up in a relationship (romantic or otherwise) could manifest in someone like Taylor. Because we saw her at her best, when she was able to be what she needed to be for Brian, when Brian made her finally feel good about herself for the first time since Emma turned on her, when they found comfort in each other when their worlds fell to shit. The wounds they healed could only be matched by the wounds they made, reflexive and thematic of them being in the right relationship at the wrong time. If I made that dynamic into a queer relationship or a same-race relationship, bet people would be talking about this ship a whole lot more. But no. We have to be racist and put down het ships because everything that’s het or “Not White/the Acceptable kind of POC” is Bad and Icky and we can’t be bothered with that. God forbid it be both! Fuck riiiight off :)

(Also side tangent but a healthy dose of biphobia oft sneaks in here because everyone’s quick to write off that bi people can be in het-passing relationships too. I do in fact fanon Taylor/Brian as both being bi because men and women don’t talk about women like that *gestures vaguely at how Wildbow writes florid descriptions of women in Taylor’s brain and like, the barest bones musings for Brian, repressed bisexual <3* and not end up being some kinda fruity.)

To paraphrase my much-smarter-than-me partner, it is still revolutionary to see a black man and a white woman in a real relationship in media, especially one that doesn’t play into the tired racist stereotypes and is (at least somewhat) healthy and optimistic about the fact that interracial relationships are not only viable but completely normal and harmless and desirable. Taylor/Brian was by no means perfect, but my god was it refreshing to see a character like Taylor, a very complex feminine character that wants to be perceived as strong, smart, and capable while also being feminine and desirable without being conventionally attractive, who just wants to know she can be loved despite her trauma, and Brian, a deeply emotional man struggling with the interconnectedness of his life’s traumas with his practice of masculinity as emotionally restricting/repressing, and his desire to protect the people he loves despite the literally crippling PTSD and a tendency to hold on just a little too tight, get into a relationship and actually work out there for a sec. And the fact that you get all of this obvious love and care and attention put into an interracial relationship on TOP of that is just chefs kiss 11/10 best shit I’ve seen in my life. It is such a welcome change to your average tasteless, de-clawed straight or even gay relationships in media or fandom and I would actively pay to see another Taylor/Brian style pairing over 2 conventionally attractive twinks/femmes being uwu cute at each other.

This was a very meandering and scattered rant but yeah. This is by no means excusing any of the actually racist stuff in Worm, because it’s certainly in there, but I can talk about that a different time.

Thinly veiled miscegenation-phobias and generalized racism begone! Stan Taylor/Brian for clear skin and an actually well-written romance.

Started thinking about the other characters in Cooties so here’s some thoughts on them. (Not as in-depth as Doug’s was)

Wade, my second favorite, is the guy who was massively popular in school, but his athletic career was dead before he had a chance to get it going. He’s been trying to regain that feeling of accomplishment and adoration ever since. He adores Lucy with all his heart but never felt good enough for her, even before Clint came along, always feeling like the second a better guy comes along he’ll lose her forever. Responds to threats and uncomfortable emotions with aggression because that’s all he knows to do, but acknowledges when he fucks up and tries to be a better man. He acts like a selfish prick but when it comes down to it, he’ll jump on a live grenade to keep his people safe. Wants to have that good old american dream- white picket fence, beautiful wife, children. Likes fruity cocktails but will never admit it. Needs therapy.

Lucy is so repressed she’s always on the verge of some kind of breakdown, wearing her mask of optimism so frequently she forgets it’s not her actual face. Largely nonconfrontational, but won’t hesitate to break up a fight. She’s been feeling caged up for most of her adult life, stuck in a shitty town with shitty people, and she sometimes daydreams about hopping on a bus and leaving this all behind. But that’s too much of a risk, and isn’t it better to just stay where you are, where things are familiar and stable? Surely the grass isn’t actually greener on the other side. Has been dreading Wade’s proposal because that would be the final nail in the coffin, so to speak, but she wouldn’t have been able to say no if not for Clint’s arrival and, you know, the whole zombie children thing. Would probably really love to be a mom, but isn’t sure she’s ever going to be ready for it. Needs therapy.

If Lucy is the president of the Repression Club, Tracy is vice president. He desperately wants to be out, but the way everyone around him talks about gay people (and anything else ‘other’) terrifies him so he keeps it hidden. Most of them probably wouldn’t actually give much of a shit, but why risk it? Thinks he’s being subtle when he makes double entendres, definitely isn’t. A pretty creative guy, probably into theatre. Would move to a more gay-friendly place, but like Lucy, he’s worried about the risk. Taking that step would feel like crossing a line that couldn’t ever been taken back, and despite how much happier he’d be if he did, he can’t do it. Deserves a bunny. Needs therapy.

Clint hates himself. He made it out of Fort Chicken, he was on his way to achieving his dreams, only to crash and burn when reality set in. Probably could have made it writing kids’ horror a la R.L. Stein, if he ever gave it a try. Has so many regrets he could probably write a book out of those, too. Has definitely drunk-dialed an ex. Clings to his identity as a writer because to do otherwise feels like giving up and admitting defeat. Bi-curious, won’t explore that facet of his personality because he was bullied in school for accidentally looking at another guy a second too long in the locker room once. Tried an edible once and the feeling of being high freaked him out so he never tried it again. Lucy reminds him of a time when life was simple and dreams felt achievable. Needs therapy.

Rebekkah watches Fox News.

ok fine, here’s some more: this woman is terrified of the world and has been since 2001. Probably brought up being taught to fear and hate ‘Them’; non-white people, scientists who ‘hate God’, pot smokers, gay people. Mormons. She puts on this prickly, aggressive attitude to fend off people so they can’t get a chance to hurt her. Religion is her lifeline, even if she doesn’t actually practice it, because it’s something she can blame when things go wrong (the devil did this) and believing there’s a divine safety net is probably the only thing keeping her going. Unfortunately she ended up the type of person to use her religion as a way to feel superior to people she doesn’t understand. Makes no effort to understand other people, either, so that’s a double-whammy. Drinks box wine. Really wants to know what it feels like to kill someone. Definitely needs therapy. 

Hatachi needs a house, give him an actual house, stop making him live in the boiler room, are you not paying him??? 

something something last pride i was in a disastrous gender tailspin doing so very bad on the gender front deeply closeted staying briefly with my parents between apartments working at a normie bar where there was a lot of pressure to be cute and feminine and appealing but the most dysphoric ive ever been because ive been quite masc ever since i realized i was trans when i was fucking 13 and somehow at 25 decided to put my own ass back in the closet and went to pride in a bikini top and booty shorts and fishnets and was miserable with myself and so repressed and had nobody but myself to blame for it and spent the whole time thinking haha wouldn't it be funny to go to the gender clinic booths and get info about testosterone while dressed like this haha how i look with he/him in my bio and all that haha right but i wouldn't because im in denial about being a guy rn haha im just a funky they them lesbian or whatever idk haha. and now just 1 year later i'll be going to pride 6 months on t and having made the first grueling steps of coming out to family and people close to me and i'll definitely be boyly boying it up and its all very surreal and gooooood?

idk it's weird because i feel 100% positive and happy and right about transition so far like... internally. independently. but the social aspect is still very funky and scary and i'm sure that's completely normal because society sucks! it's a sucky cultural situation we're in rn! and it's scary and bad and easy to invalidate yourself and get imposter syndrome and be bitter and jealous and feel weird and scared about being socially out and trying to socially transition and make it known that yeah i know i don't seem like one but actually i'm a guy! and i'm literally still not even saying that i'm still just letting ppl assume im a woman and misgender me bc i'm fucking avoidant and don't have the guts to like correct restaurants when they get my order wrong let alone correct everyone when they get my gender wrong! arrgghhh! but i'm very excited for ~my first pride~ and i hope being in a space where people are expecting it and won't be shocked or confused will give me some confidence and i can be open and at ease there and i can take some of that with me back to everyday life. idk. something along those lines.

also i'm definitely in my fresh out the box overcompensating era lmfao like i'm still nonbinary as hell and i still wanna be fruity and i'm definitely not Just A Guy and i'm definitely not Just Masc and i haveeeeeeeee a really really bad history with that and some big ugly Gender Trauma that makes this stage of like. just trying to be more masc and a dudething. kind of a very bad vibe but i'm doing it on my own terms this time and am aware of how that plays on my mental state and i feel confident that i'll grow out of it and that it's ok for now and as i progress i'll settle back into the things i like because i DO like fruity shit and i DO like the booty shorts and the fishnets and jewelry and painted nails and i'm not fully a dude and there's a sick ass nonbinary trans culture that i'll figure out how to occupy!!!!!!!! but yea i'm accepting that for now i'm just like hrrgnnnghhhh yes im a Man :) a fucking Guy a Dude Bro hahaaaaa

marius von hagen and clinginess hc

1k rant about von hagen and hugs from a person who doesn’t have a lot of marius cards 

imo and tl;dr: mans loves hugs and physical affection in general 

now! to the nitty gritty! 

ok look i’m p sure marius von hagen grew up in a very loving household that actively showed affection, whatever it may be. with the death of his mom (who he doesn’t really remember but semantics) i think that maybe his dad tried to make up for it. idk he looks like a very nice man from what i’ve seen on the twitter. like a fruity man that doesn’t adhere to toxic masculinity and openly shows affection to their children. 

therefore, i really want marius to just,,, wanna hug everyone. or have them in some type of hold. 

like yes he knows that people will stab him in the back and he prepares for it and whatnot, but he does seem to give people the benefit of the doubt. like he’s still a little childish, let him be a clingy fucker he deserves it. 

sure he knows not to hug people and shit but people he’s close with? no one is safe. he makes sure to do it behind close doors tho bc he knows that the tabloids will be asking questions if they see him just hugging vincent. or hanging off of his shoulder. gentle giant boi. 

i’d like to think that, after the NXX gets established into the kickass investigation team its meant to be, no one is safe from hugs. and everyone just accepts it bc they are, on some level, touch starved themselves.

like rosa has been without their best friend for 8 years and without their parents for some time. they have kiki yeah but they overwork and spend a lot of time in the office.

vyn is a naturally prickly fucker who keeps people at arm’s length. thats just how he is. but in false tears he hugs rosa so,,, hugs are not off his radar he just doesnt get them often

artem is an emotionally constipated fuck who has to resort to a book for affection advice and says ‘too close get back’ when you poke his animation lmaoo

luke was in the nsb for 8 years and while yeah, he had physical contact with people, 9 times out of 10 that touch probably had negative connotations (fights and shit, ya know?)

also marius is baby of group. baby of group privileges™️ allow him to do lots of stuff. 

it starts off innocently enough. Rosa is his first victim. he just kinda,, rests his head on their head. wraps an arm around them. holds their hand. 

then he ropes luke into it. its probably after a recon mission or some shit but lets just say marius sprained his ankle and big bad agent raven gives him a piggyback ride bc ‘nO YOU’RE NOT WALKING ON A SPRAINED ANKLE JUST GET ON’ and then 

marius: luke? 

luke: mmhm? 

marius: can i hug you more often? this is nice

luke, now a tomato: um,,, okay??

and so luke is not safe from the von hagen hold. probably leaps at luke bc luke is a big stronk boi 

marius, to rosa: if i run and jump at luke he will most certainly catch me in his arms. Coming in! *sprints towards luke*

luke: nO I’M HOLDING MY ENERGY DRINK! *drops can, looks at marius* 

marius, happily hugging luke: hello agent!

the third on his list is artem bc there’s no like,, real way to just hug the emotionally repressed lawyer without giving him a heart attack. he probably starts off small, back pats and shoulder grabs. shoulder grabs evolve into slinging an arm around his shoulder. that evolves into leaning his chin on his shoulder just slightly and asking what he’s working on. 

the big catalyst is an argument they’re having about giann. marius is obviously is really upset that artem insinuated that his brother just either dropped the family or also betrayed the NXX, idk, but it scaled up until they’re yelling and artem has to remind him that, “You’re not the only one who’s lost someone to this organization!” 

and marius just kinda stops because artem lost his mentor, who in passing has said that was basically a father to him. and marius cant imagine losing his dad. he takes one look at artem, really looking at him, and sees his situation with giann. the longing to have someone to talk to and to just be yourself and marius just feels himself choke on all the repressed emotions artem must have and just,,, hugs the poor guy. artem ofc is stunned but he returns the hug a bit. 

and the floodgates open for hugs. marius just hugs him randomly. he’s giving a debrief? Hug Time™️. Artem is reading some files? Hug Time.™️ artem made him a homemade dish bc he accidentally skipped lunch to come to the NXX office? Hug Time™️

vyn is the one that takes him the longest bc not only is vyn a member of the super secret band, but he’s also his tutor. and also vyn aggravates him. for the longest time he just really doesn’t know if he’s ever gonna hug vyn. but then he has a really shitty day. he oversleeps. he can’t find his jacket. he missed an assignment. he doesn't get lunch. a business plan falls through and the board of directors are on his ass. the lead for giann turns out to be a dead end. and he still has to go study with vyn. he’s really about to cancel but he has a test the day after and he can’t afford to so he just trudges into his house and tries to just push forward and he’s getting all the answers wrong and. he’s tired. 

back to the point of toxic masculinity, it did not exist in the von hagen house. so marius just starts sobbing on his psych textbook. he doesn’t care if vyn sees him and he’s under contract but he just really needs to cry this day out. 

vyn knew that he was gonna break down, for fucks sake hes a psychologist, he just never expected marius to be healthy about it. and vyn knows how much marius values physical touch so he just pulls marius to his shoulder and lets him cry it out. 

vyn becomes the ‘if i’ve had too much to deal with i go to you’ hugger. they usually just hug in the privacy of their tutoring sessions bc that way they can go back to hating each other in front of rosa lmaooo

and that is how marius gained hug privileges from everyone. the end

no you know what i still have not fully processed that dean and cas are in love. they smile when they think about each other, and they miss each other when they're apart, and they make corny jokes when they have sex, and dean blushes when cas compliments him but cas kisses the embarrassment away, and they get angry at each other and tongues get sharp but they will always have each other’s back, and they do domestic chores to pop songs cas adores and dean no-so secretly jams to, and cas strokes dean's hair when he falls asleep on the couch, face tucked against cas' stomach, and sometimes they shower together, and they wear subtle matching t-shirts and not so subtle ones too, and dean feeds cas spoonfuls of whatever he's cooking as taste tests, and their legs intertwine when they watch tv, and they cuddle, and their chats include a considerable amount of heart emojis, and dean wakes up wrapped up in cas' warmth, head on his chest, then finger tracing mindless shapes over bare skin, and they listen to each other's rants intently or tune out completely distracted by the endearingly aggravated face, and fuck how did they get this lucky, and they share clothes, and the wardrobe is fuller now, and they bicker a lot, dean complains about cas not being tidy and cas complains about dean not actually letting him help and always wanting things done his very particular way anyway, and sometimes dean gets very annoying and cas rolls his eyes and is so done with him, but then dean pokes his side and offers an apology that is without a doubt not an apology except it is in the dean winchester dictionary, and cas caves in because every second spent 'mad' at dean is a second wasted, and cas stands in the vee of dean's legs when he's perched up on the counter, and they have lazy sundays sprawled in bed, and they take selfies together, and they slow-dance when they're alone and the right song plays, and sometimes they dance without music because they can and they want to and it's right because it's them, and they are vulnerable with one another, and dean helped cas with figuring out sex at the start because it was intimidating so when dean's body fails to get on with the program and dean gets all red in the face frustrated and whatnot cas reassures him and because he knows dean's feeling bad they watch scooby-doo which has dean chuckling, little spoon in cas' embrace, and they go on dates, they go on dates, they go on dates, and they send each other memes, and they talk about banalities as well as their deepest darkest insecurities and fears, and dean is sure cas' phone is filled with pictures of him doing stupid shit or doing nothing at all, but that's fine because his own phone is packed with candids of cas simply being cas, and cas slaps dean's ass when he wears his short shorts, and he also steals a couple of bites off of dean's pie when they're at diners and dean lets him, and they call each other's bullshit for what it is, and dean gets to dress up his boyfriend husband and definitely checks him out when he's trying on different outfits, and they have inside jokes that make them giggle, make they cackle, and they go on drives together with no destination in mind just the road ahead and their mixtape blaring in the wind, and when cas is upset dean's right there, and when dean is angry everyone knows it's cas they gotta call to make it better, and they celebrate anniversaires and buy each other little gifts that they give out feeling bashful and a bit ridiculous, and they have pillow talks, and dean cooks for cas and cas is dean's #1 sous-chef, and they have coffee together every morning, and dean sits on cas' lap and mumbles sleepy against his temple, and they finish each other's, yes, sentences (and sandwiches), and they get jealous when other people check them out, and cas glares when dean leads on a poor soul but it's not like dean can turn off his innate charm, so he eagerly makes it up to cas later, and they hold hands, and they fight like couples do and there are tears and misunderstandings and painful silences and eventually apologies that are often wordless, a peace offering, but sometimes there's a sincere 'sorry' as well, and cas talks about dean endlessly with other people and dean literally can't shut up about cas, and they whisper things in each other's ears that no one else is privy to, it's just for them to know, and they go on long walks, and everyone knows they're together, they're each other's +1 by default, if anyone tells dean anything cas will know it before the day ends, and if anyone does anything to cas their name will be immediately added to dean's kill list, and they go grocery-shopping together, and they fight over which brand is better, and they get excited about 2x1 promos, and late at night they browse amazon to buy unnecessary crap, and they go on holidays together because they deserve it and the beach has always been dean's sunny dream, and they rub sunscreen on each other's back and dean orders them fruity colorful cocktail drinks and they nap on deck chairs after a quick swim, and they gossip, they talk about other people but keep their judging and criticisms between them, and they touch each other, they touch each other freely, that's dean's hand on cas' cheek, and that's cas' hand on the small of dean's back, and those are dean's arms wrapped around cas' neck and those are cas' hands on dean's waist, and they sit together for hours each doing their own thing, and dean calls out 'hey babe' and cas automatically responds 'yes love?', and cas nurtures both the child and the man in his arms, and cas memorized dean's system for doing laundry and dean is grateful and alleviated, and they eat terrible food together and gain a few pounds, and they try to do the healthy active couple thing but end up quitting because it doesn't really matter so dean eats that extra slice of pizza and cas keeps buying dean's favorite pie from the local bakery, and their bedroom is a safe space for dean's repressed kinks and cas' newly-found fantasies, their bedroom is also where they binge-watch netflix like the couch potatoes they are, and when cas brushes his teeth dean barges in just to take a leak, and they talk casually as they get ready, and they are frequently naked around each other and it's not sexual but it's very intimate and comfortable, and cas winks at dean from across the room, and dean pulls cas by his tie as he says 'gonna steal this handsome fella for a while' and dean cries sometimes but that's okay, and cas cries too but that's also okay, and dean sings to cas, and they have morning breath kisses and toothpaste kisses and coffee kisses and whiskey kisses and hungry kisses, and there are two pairs of shoes by the door and two glasses left in the sink and two towels hanging on the rack and both bedside tables are occupied and their mattress remembers two shapes, and dean worries because cas doesn't take enough care of himself, and dean nurses cas when he gets a cold, snuggling under blankets and checking the clock to make sure the medicine is taken timely, and cas gives dean massages to ease the tension accumulated in his shoulders, and often those massages have a happy ending as they should, and blowjobs are a regular prescription for fatigue and negative moods, and they can be downright insufferable towards one another, but it's a friendly banter, a loving poking fun at each other but it’s only allowed for dean to make fun of cas’ awkwardness and only cas can taunt dean for being so nerdy and dorky, it’s a game of pushing just the right buttons to get a certain reaction, and they also have a routine these days, being retired and all that, and they bask in each other’s company, their favorite pastime is just being together, they are each other’s home, and they care for one another in every way there is to care about someone. dean and cas are in love.

APHMAU HEADCANNONS <3

my hcs for the characters :) (pt 1)

aphmau

- cis, “het”

-billie eilish/ariana grande stan

-has naturally curly hair but straightens it

-twitter user

-one time she had a crush on the girl but she just denied it. and repressed that feeling. i doubt she recovered

-smells like vanilla

aaron

-7:1 shampoo

-uses AXE body spray

-listens to hollywood undead and eminem only

-likes to watch “how its made” on the history channel

-neurodivergent

-cishet

katelyn

-woman lover (trademarked)

-she/they

-asexual

- listens to glass animals and surf curse

-smells like coconut

- not good at makeup

-wears nike shoes

- and under aurmor sweaters

-her and jeoffrey like to take abby to aquariums because abbys special intrest is sharks :O

KC

-doesnt go by fuckin “kawaii~chan” but goes by kacey :D

-shes got a backbone! perks of having older siblings

- allergic to dogs/werewolves :(

-smells like strawberrys and flour

-bi 

-TRANSGIRL!!

-loves mitski and clario

-so bad at painting 

garroth 

-plays piano

-wears lynx africa

-fuckin fruity dude. 

-cis and a himbo

-unironically watches riverdale

-likes the offspring and shawn mendes

laurence

-unironically loves cyndi lauper (prob canon)

- omni

-cries when his fave soccor team looses a game

-sings into his hairbrush like its a microphone

-cis

-really good at 8ball dont ask how

-fave movie is the bee movie

dante

-has 10k on tiktok

-straight trans dude

-hollywood undead AND deana carter guy. duality

-smells like pine

-loves playing CoD

-him and gene are close!! good siblings!

-THE most supportive dude ever

-not crusty

travis

-he/they

-unlabeled!

-hes like musicals unironically

-(be more chill and beetlejuice are his faves)

-shops at the vans store

-brooklyn 99 enjoyer

-poser skater

lucinda

-lesbian

-transgirl society leader

-cat lady

-smells like inscense

-loves sabrina comics

-calls people ‘honey’ and ‘babe’ all the time /pos

-painter!

gene

-i have so many sk headcannons lets go okay

-cis mlm

-does him and his friends peircings

-love language is gift giving

-acts tough abut really just a nerd

-will die for his friends/family but everyone else is dirt on the ground to him

-mentally ill (canon propably srry king)

-shops at forever21 LMAO

-when dante first came out as ftm gene cut his hair and took him shopping (tried to make him emo but gave it up eventually)

-uses the hot topic disney villian perfume

-listens to mccafert and blink 182 exclusively

-fucked up his nose with a peircing fail and had to get surgery

sasha

-she/her

-does stick and pokes on herself and has over 180, she does one every few days :D

- wears contacts

-pansexual

-ace spectrum

-does genes eyeliner for him

- cuts her own hair 

-packs her friends extra snacks that she knows they like everytime they go out

-has asthma

-sometimes she tells people she has that tumbler genesis disease just to fuck with them. its a lie.

zenix

-nonbinary 

-smells like campfire

-hates sweet food

-too scared to let sasha give them tatoos

-listens to ajj and loveoy

-has a scar over theyre eye from a bird

zane

-autism

-cis

-aromantic!

-allergic to gluten

- hates cats

-listens to mcr but in secret loves dollly parton

vylad

-transguy

-bi

-smells like cofee and old books

-scared of fire

-allergic to alot of stuff, nuts, gluten, grass, animals, milk, eggs, ect 

-listens to cavetown and conan gray

-loves watercolor

Don’t be shy, share the take 👀

Okay, so last night I bitched in a mini tag rant saying how everyone on my dash was reblogging the same post with the same bad take and it was driving me bonkers, and then this anon sent me this message, and since I have now seen the post on my dash yet again, I will answer this ask lol.

Also this is an SPN-related topic so anyone not in SPN fandom can keep it moving lol

Before I say anything else though: I’m not out here trying to be a Fun Killer or whatever. Please note how I habitually stay in my lane and simply do not interact with posts that I do not like on this site. Do me the same courtesy and keep scrolling if you don’t like what I am about to say! I am also not trying to shade any mutuals who may have reblogged content I dislike. So... I’m gonna keep this very general, because it’s a wider topic anyway. And I know I’m not the only person who feels this way, based on private conversations (with long-time fans, too).

2 main points of contention:

-If people want to talk badly about Jared they can simply do so without involving Misha or Jensen’s name in it with what is typically bad meme-y format posts, coupled with unwittingly bad takes about Misha and Jensen in the process. I am being vague here on purpose, sorry, but whatever.

-And, mostly: this website is developing a problem with wanting to either call Jensen in particular homophobic or queer without using those exact words, and the result in either instance is people coming up with increasingly convoluted ways to be weird about him or towards him. It’s like either they can’t get a read on him so they want to disparage him, or they think they’ve clocked him but don’t want to mention it, and what ends up being posted in word salad hot takes under the guise of enlightenment is either... literal disgusting slurs (fruity, fag, dyke, etc) whether about Dean or Jensen or both, or the idea that Dean is bi but it was an accident and Jensen couldn’t possibly have been aware of that because it happened beyond his will, or that Dean and/or Jensen is simply repressed, or that Jensen wants to fuck Dean, or ????????

And it’s very like... literally what the FUCK are you even saying and why are you saying it, lol. I get that there’s a certain Style Of Typing that’s becoming popular in this fandom on this site right now, and it’s often in the name of this sort of exaggerated joke posting. But half the time people are just slinging around words and everyone thinks it’s funny and (seemingly) not enough people stop to think twice about how it is, more often than not now, getting fucking weird.

Is it a big concerning deal (beyond the slurs thing, which is absolutely inexcusable)? Nah, not yet. But the numbers are getting huge on some of these posts, and that makes me grind my teeth more, because it means this overall attitude/joke posting format is spreading throughout the fandom hivemind with very little resistance. And it’s upping the frequency of that sort of language and shitposting. So while things that stay on Tumblr don’t have huge impact, right now a lot of things are also transferring over to Twitter as fandom and stan culture has shifted. And that’s when we get into Dangerous Territory On The Wider Stage that can trend or route back to actors, especially because of how Twitter algorithms have changed recently. (I can elaborate on that if need be.)

Really the bottom line though is that I am seeing multiple variations / posts along the line of the same thought process, where the actors of this show (especially Jensen and Misha) seem to be casually dehumanized in language I find startling and off-putting, and people are getting this mental disconnect where they’re forgetting that it’s not okay to say certain things about real people even in the name of jokes. It’s even pushing it when it’s characters, but when it’s about the actors it’s the crossing of a double line. So it’s becoming normalized, and then people don’t stop and think twice, and the posts just circulate because they’re “funny,” and then I see the same thing on my dash 8 times and feel like I’m going insane. 

It bothers me and makes scrolling on my dash a minefield of discomfort, but yes, it’s not like that’s going to be seen by the real people in question as of now because Tumblr is Tumblr... but if this mindset becomes pervasive and normalized enough, what happens is people then become even further desensitized especially the kids who are new to fandom, and then in 8 months we’re gonna have some teenager at a con talking about Jensen’s “lesbian photoshoots” to his fucking face and also asking him how he feels about being overtaken by the spirit of a “repressed bisexual character.” The prospect of which makes me feel like I’m going to grow grey hairs.

So. Yeah. There you have it lmao. I am once again asking everyone to stop being weird about real people and queer topics (whether IRL or fictional), be mindful of language, and notice what they’re actually saying or implying in the name of jokes. But, feel free to think ~I take things too seriously~ or am exhibiting ~fake concern~ and just keep scrolling and ignore me though! I am simply answering the question.

Oh? Tell us about the characters on that list then

*slaps character sheet* this bad boy can fit so much of my own repressed trauma in it

This one could be fuckin *all* of them, but it's probably Kelarvia Arana, aka Kel. Poor dwarven fighter exile from Orzamar who turned to the Qun, was trained wrong as a spy, failed her family, failed the qun, failed her friends, and kept trying to do right. She was... not bright. She took a face full of acid breath for her troubles, got repeatedly stabbed by everyone around her, and still kept fucking trying. She was not in a great place by the end of that campaign.

Closeted Trans Person Gender Envy Character™

So, while I'm very much cis, I did toy around with the idea of genderfluidity and transness at one point. And the closest character to that would have been a major NPC that I had in my pokemon game, Claire deVire. She was a literal illusionist / Fairy Type mage, and honestly one of my favorite NPCs to use in the game. I played her as a confident and experienced trainer who had an air of mystery, was clever and flirtatious, and who had a very accomplished team including trans icon Sylveon. She is/was one of the main *villains* of the campaign, but that's besides the point. If I was a girl, she's who I'd want to be - but I'm pretty solid in my gender at this point.

sexy

That would be Lucas Maignard, the Silver Lion. Not just your average silver fox, but a nobleman who absolutely could rock it. Think Rollo from Vikings except salt and pepper hair. He was power hungry, a staunch revanchist of his family's ancestral title and he would go to every length it took to reclaim it, including trying to seduce the King's consort. He, notably, caused at least one if not more international incidents by insulting the soccer abilities of a neighboring kingdom.

He may have had the highest charisma of any character I've played.

idealized version of myself

Allow me to introduce you to Broderic Gullet, a 6'6 tall constantly drunken scotsman Barbarian with a hammer who was unkillable. Literally - he actually died at one point and came back to life because he was too damn stubborn to leave before his friends had gotten to safety, and some passing spirit possessed him and turned him into an abomination. He was jovial, friendly, could talk to his cat Mr. Pickles, and wonderfully buff enough he could hug all his friends at once. Plus he was a trained chef.

As Fruity And Extra As Possible

Oh this is easy. The Satyr Diplomat Cheldric delWolpertinger, a man who *honestly* should have read the recommended reading before being sent to deliver very important documents (these were actually talking frogs!). He was supposed to board a new train on the mountainous passage to Westport, but forgot his ticket. When the train left, he literally jumped (and I mean I cast "jump" and specifically was a Satyr for their Mirthful Leaps feature which adds 1d8 to my jump distance) onto the back of the train. Unfortunately, the murder of the conductor was a bit of an issue, but Cheldric and some other passengers put their heads together to solve the mystery.

furry

So, allow me to set the stage for Albie, Traitor to Crowkind. A Kenku that was as much benefit to the party as he was walking, curse triggering hazard, this absolute buffoon would do what he could to simultaneously help the party while also doing his best not to piss of Strahd too much. A lighting bolt cast into the middle of melee that hit everyone totally gives him plausible deniability for who survives.

I think my favorite memory though is when one of the other party members just opened his beak and he started reciting the Book of Strahd like Stitch plays that record in Lilo & Stitch

A good runner up here would also be Nilbo, a Kobold Druid who only became a druid because it let him wild shape into progressively bigger lizards and dinosaurs. No other animals, just scales.

I Saw One Of The Extra Fantasy Races That Aren’t In The Player’s Handbook And Almost Had A Stroke

Listen. Listen to me. I fucking love Warforged. I will *always* go to bat for magical robots. They're amazing and I've played so many, from psions to storm domain clerics to the most recent one, Hymn, a gender-neutral Celestial Pact Warlock Warforged who got his abilities because he was a socialist. No, I'm not joking - he was made for usage by the Church of the Sovereign Host, but when a wandering heretical priest came by wondering why the church didn't do more, Hymn started going out at night to perform direct action and mutual aid. Being not that smart, he accidentally wandered into a cult's base and released a captive celestial, who gifted him the power to help more.

a race + class that typically would not go together

I'm of a tossup here - the Halfling Artificer Posco Harfoot, who was a member of the Justicars and in order to even the playing field, built himself a goddamn magitek mech in order to go toe to toe with the other peacekeepers, or of Tiberius Vanderwhinn, an elven Path of the Zealot barbarian who was *extremely* keen on getting his libraries late fees sorted, and gods help you if you dared shout in his library.

sexy criminal

Very few things are sexier than a tiefling, and that would be Boreo Lieran, the Tiefling Bard. Boreo was a staunch contender for the "As fruity as possible" but this pansexual beast is much more in line here because the man seduced half the party prior to or during session 1. Having a prehensile tail and the ability to pick up the gnome lass in the party by it for him to tease probably helped.

Of course, such a man was hilariously illegal, because not only did he smuggle and steal like, 90% of his luxury goods that he used to pamper himself with, he would absolutely flaunt a total disregard for property rights and find himself making grand entrances into peoples homes and lives as part of his wayward caravan, leaving a trail of chaos in his wake.

himbo

One of the more recent characters I've played. Cadmus, Son of Abraxes! A "human" wizard on the plane of Theros, this man is the half-divine son of the literal personification of the pride of a polis that was wiped off the face of the world by the gods for their Hubris. So, an active devotee of the god of victory, and actively blaspheming the goddess of destiny at every turn (As he would put it, we hold the pen in our hands, she merely hoards the ink), his goal was to perform deeds good enough to earn a place as a constellation under the stars. He would only *ever* sleep outside at night, even in cities, because he wanted to rest with them as he knew one day he would for eternity.

information’s just not going in

Pairing: Gen, with a side of Verda/Eric bein cute and married

Words: 1782

Summary: Verda catches wind of Bobby sniffing around the detective again, and, because he cares about his friend, he stages something of an intervention.

Don’t think too hard about timelines. I started this when I first started playing twc. Takes place in early book one. I also gave Wayhaven two more bars. Title from “Bulletproof” by La Roux

The Haven, Wayhaven’s premier bar (one of three in the entire town, to be quite fair) is surprisingly busy for a Tuesday night, but it’s still easy enough to find Verda and his husband tucked away in a booth in the corner. Busy or no, there’s plenty of room to make his way over, and he slides into opposite them and leans his elbows on the faintly sticky tabletop.

“Did you really have to bring Eric to read me the riot act, Verda?” he asks, giving the gently smiling blonde a weary look.

“Yes,” Verda responds simply. He steeples his fingers and levels Chase with a steady gaze. “The only reason I didn’t bring Tina as well is because I know you’d see us all, figure it was an intervention, and bolt.”

Chase groans up at the dark ceiling. “I don’t need an intervention! It’s just sex.”

“It’s not just sex!” Verda counters. “It’s never been just sex with Bobby! I’ve known you for too long to swallow that excuse, and honestly I refuse to believe you believe it yourself!”

Thankfully, Chase ordered a drink before he sought them out, and he takes a long, long pull. “I didn’t even do anything this time. He managed to make himself exceptionally repulsive, and I didn’t even talk to him. He just… It was a voicemail. That’s all.” He rubs his eyes. “I already have the mayor riding my ass, I don’t need Bobby grunting and slobbering on the back of my neck too.”

Verda’s face scrunches in disgust, and, adorably, his husband mimics his expression without even looking at him. Unluckily for Chase, Verda’s distaste with his crudeness doesn’t stop him from sighing, “It’s never just a voicemail. Or just a text. Or just a phone interview. That’s how Bobby works. His modus fucking operandi! He senses when you’re at your most vulnerable and he uses it to get a leg over. And if he can snoop for information for his tabloid nonsense, all the better!”

“That’s why I only go to his place now,” Chase mumbles, mostly to himself.

Verda gives him a sharp glare. “What was that?”

“Nothing,” the detective says, sitting up straighter and rolling his shoulders.

“When did you go to his place?” Verda asks, dangerously soft.

He knocks back another half of his drink, because god does he need it, and rubs his face. “It was weeks ago, Verda, please--”

“I’m sorry, weeks?” Verda’s voice hitches up a few octaves, and Chase only just realizes that there’s a tall, nearly-empty glass of something that was once brightly colored and likely full of several types of rather strong liquor on the table in front of Verda, and that he is very much in over his head. Verda’s normally a very sedate, put-together man, though he’s never been afraid to speak his mind, but when he’s had a few drinks…

Maybe Chase should have bolted after all.

“CHASE RAPHAEL KINGSTON, DID YOU SAY WEEKS?” Verda stands up, and his husband hurries to stand as well and push him gently back down into his seat. He goes without a fight, but he is still clearly fuming.

“Quiet down, would you?” the detective hisses. “You know how this town talks!” He glowers at a familiar face gawking a bit at their table (Frankie McGinnis, the groundskeeper at the local park and also one of Chase’s own graduating class) who clams up quickly, turns, and hurries off.

“Weeks, Detective? Weeks?” Verda all but snarls at him. Chase raises his eyebrows and looks to Eric, who just raises his hands and shakes his head.

“It’s not a big deal,” Chase defends weakly.

“When?” Bitten out through gritted teeth. Verda’s glaring daggers at him.

Chase rubs at his jaw, scratching his stubble and avoiding his friend’s eyes. “The night the Chief announced Liddel’s retirement. I knew I was being promoted. I told him I didn’t want it and he told me tough shit. I was tired, I was pissed, and Bobby heard through the grapevine and decided to have me over to congratulate me.”

Eric snorts at the choice of words. Verda just looks... Incensed. “Chase! You have to see that this is not healthy!”

"It doesn't matter if it's healthy or not!" he fires back, and he can't help but get worked up himself, with his coworker all but shouting him down like he's an unruly teenager. "It's not your decision! I'm an adult, and I can make my own decisions about who I fuck! Christ, d'you think you automatically get a say just 'cause I let you have at me too?"

Verda looks as if he's going to say something, but he snaps his mouth shut, his face scrunching, then collapsing. "Is that really what you think of me?" he asks softly.

Chase deflates very suddenly, spine bending, and rubs his face. "Fuck. No, Verda, of course not. I just… I'm sorry, that was awful of me to say. I just…"

"You're not used to people worrying about you," Eric offers, smiling a bit. "It can be overwhelming, right?"

Chase nods weakly. "I'm sorry," he says again. He finishes his drink in one good gulp, and it burns, but he needs the bolstering right now.

Of course, Eric knows he and Verda had their own little fling when they first met, just a sort of stress relief between friends and coworkers, that never progressed beyond that. They're good as friends, aces in bed together, but never really felt the need to take things to a level beyond that. It has, unfortunately, given Verda, and by extension Eric, far too much insight into Chase's habits, but sometimes it's... nice to be known.

At least he's got someone to tell him when he's being a tit.

"I need another drink," Chase groans.

Eric smiles and stands up, kissing the top of his husband's head. "I'll grab the next round. You lads behave."

Chase sighs. "I'm sorry," he repeats. "I… I know you're just worried. But I can take care of myself, Sol." He lifts his head and smiles crookedly. "Been doing it all my life, right?"

"Chase, you have so many tattoos our boss makes you wear turtlenecks in August, you had a criminal record before you turned 18, and you were bullied into the police academy immediately upon graduating college to avoid going to prison."

"Hey," Chase snaps defensively, "don't bring the tattoos into this. Everyone and their mum knows I'm covered in more ink than skin at this point, it's not my fault the chief clutches his pearls every time he sees them."

"My point is," Verda interrupts, "is that, perhaps, your life may have gone a bit more smoothly if you'd had someone to rely on other than yourself." He holds up his hand when Chase tries to protest, and presses on, "I'm in no way insulting you as you are now. You are an incredible man, Chase. Sharp as a tack, dedicated and proud, stubborn as all get out, but that's helped far more than it's hindered you. Wayhaven wouldn't be the same without you."

Chase squirms in his seat and looks away, "Verda…"

"I mean it, Chase. This town and the people in it owe you so much, and you deserve to be recognized for that. And you deserve to recognize it in yourself." He leans forward, bright-eyed and intense, "You deserve to feel like you matter to someone other Bobby Fucking Marks simply because he has an uncanny, sharklike ability to figure out exactly when you're at your lowest."

Eric chooses that moment to return with drinks, something fruity and ridiculous for his husband, and a simple rum and Coke for Chase. He sits down next to Verda and snuggles close. "So? How's it going?"

"Fine," Chase mutters. And he sighs gustily. "Verda's right, as usual. I just… Bobby's a prick, but we have history, and as much as I hate to admit it, he knows me too fucking well by now. I know better than to let him into my flat, of all things, but apparently not between my legs."

Verda splutters on his drink and laughs, Eric blushes a bit at the crudness, and just like that, the heaviness of the moment is gone. Verda fumbles for a napkin to wipe his nose, and Chase chuckles.

“If it makes you feel better, I’ve got more than enough to worry about right now with two murders and this Agency nonsense,” Chase mutters around the edge of his glass. “If Bobby decides to make more of a nuisance of himself than usual, I’m very likely to hogtie him and lock him in my trunk for a few hours.”

“Oh, I can’t wait to read his story about that,” Verda snickers. He’s begun to list heavily against Eric’s side, and the big blonde softens visibly.

“I think it’s time to get both of you home,” he says, smiling gently. “Chase, if you drove, I can bring you by in the morning to grab your car.”

Chase sighs and taps his knuckles against the table, but he smiles nonetheless, even if he can’t quite make eye contact. “That’d be aces, Eric. Thanks.”

Eric’s smile widens, warm and pleased, and he nods towards the door and helps his husband to his feet. Chase doesn’t move for a moment, just watching the two of them, Eric with his gentle fussing and Verda weakly protesting the attention, but at the same time visibly preening underneath it like it. Turning towards it like a flower towards the sun. Something in Chase’s gut twists.

He shakes his head, slams the dregs of his drink back, and climbs to his feet, slinging his jacket over his shoulders and following the happy couple to the door. He’s still a bit wrong-footed after their talk, but he stifles it down easily under three decades of practice repressing things like impulse control and feelings. If nothing else, he’s glad to have friends like Eric and Verda to look out for him, as much as he’ll let them.

“Hey, Verda?” he calls, his voice coming out a bit rough, softer than he intends.

Verda turns to look at him, wrapped around his husband’s arm and glasses a bit smudged. “Hm?”

Chase blows out a heavy breath that fogs in the air. “Don’t tell Tina about this, would you? I really don’t need another murder case once she decides to go after Bobby herself.”

Verda’s laugh is loud and delighted, echoing out into the otherwise quiet night. Chase stuffs his hands into his pockets and smiles to himself, allowing himself, for once, to take some quiet pleasure in what he’s got.