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companionship · 3 years

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okay one big post to get the finale out of my system! it's been lovely reading all of your analyses and reactions, and looking at all your amazing gifs and edits :')

fair warning: this is going to be so stinking long omfg

the things i enjoyed:

vincenzo remaining an anti-hero through and through, especially the fact that he didn't hold back at all when it came to myunghee and hanseok's death. he gave them a taste of their own medicine and then some forreal, their deaths were brutal but oddly satisfying, and i'm saying this as someone who usually hates violence/gore. throughout the show, they've always hinted at what he was Truly Capable Of and boy did we get to see it

vincenzo fumbling in hanseok's house and not being his usual self – a lot of people thought it was ooc, which i understand! i felt like that was the Point, to show that for once, he's not the invincible mafia consigliere that everyone thinks he is. what he did to the man who killed his mother and the army of security guards was a reaction, but this is the first time he's flustered, caught at a disadvantage, and faced with the very real possibility that he might lose somebody incredibly important to him. idk it made him more human to me

vincenzo literally not hesitating for even 0.1 seconds to fold his entire body around hers when he thought hanseok was going to shoot again – yeah that whole bit made my heart clench i feel like a crazy person i won't get over it

the chayenzo hospital scene... my god it was so tender my heart broke. the laugh they both shared, out of sheer relief that she's okay. the little joke about paying for the private room. the way not much was being said, but everything was being said at once. the way they looked at each other, as if it wouldnt ever be enough :( the quiet acceptance that this is their last night together, and that he's going to have to kill a bunch of people after this, but for now they have this. for however brief.

chayoung being chayoung – her big ass personality at the courtroom at the end after winning ms oh's case. her hopping around in those heels, looking elegant and sleek, mocking the hell out of rich conglomorates. she's in her element again and it made me so, so happy to see. i absolutely adore her, she's everything really. after all that loss and the whole ordeal, i'm glad she's able to return to what she does best: putting capitalists back in their place

mr lee being Very Much Not Dead – idk how i wouldve been able to handle it after witnessing hanseo's death like im glad he got the chance to be a dad

the kiss – my god....

the things i didn't like:

hanseo's death – lmao is it even a surprise... say what you will about his death being foreshadowed, but i really just hated hated it. i hate that hanseok won this one. i hate that hanseo worked so hard to redeem himself, only to lose it all. i hate that he was given a taste of what a real family was like, and then having it taken away so cruelly. even though i said above that i didn't mind that vincenzo was ooc at the mansion, i was still screaming at the screen because there were plenty of opportunities for the situation to be reversed. i don't necessarily blame vincenzo for hanseo's death, but i do wish that they had a funeral scene for him. i wish they acknowledged his sacrifice, and how pivotal he was in turning the tables. if not for hanseo, vincenzo really couldn't have pulled any of this off, from the interpol tipoff to the tracking device in the watch. idc idc hanseo is in malta rn, enjoying the sun and the beach, going to therapy, and teaching the local kids how to play hockey even though there's no ice :(

chayoung being bedridden the whole finale – like... NAH lmao this aint it chief... if things went my way, she wouldve gotten out of the hospital depite her injury and dealt with myunghee before handing her off to vincenzo. i loved their animosity for each other, and i wanted chayoung to be the one at myunghee's apartment waiting for her, rubbing it into her face. i wanted chayoung to verbally finish myunghee with that sharp ass tongue of hers and really dump a load of salt on her wounds. then vincenzo could do whatever the hell he wanted. you could argue that the show is called Vincenzo but i really dont care lmao it started with chayoung avenging her dad and she should've been able to strike the final blow. also what was her big second party? are we really just going to ignore her capacity for evil? after all that moral work done, after that time she spent coming to terms with using evil to combat evil, we're just going to... keep her bedridden? park jaebum u will pay for this

vincenzo losing his family – besides hanseo's death, i think this was what i hated the most from the ending. the start of the show showed us vincenzo's departure from the mafia with the very clear intention of Not Returning. the capo died, his loyalties lie with no one, paolo can suck it. throughout the show, we see him repeat over and over that he wants to get the gold and skip off to malta to enjoy a peaceful life there, while reflecting/repenting for the things he's done. vincenzo was gearing up for a lifetime of solitude. the whole point of the show was for him to find a real family and have a real chance at happiness. park jaebum really said FUCK THAT! we're gonna have him ditch the family that he built from scratch with the love of his life and then make him return to the family that tried to kill him AND make him the capo... pjb said we're gonna separate vincenzo from the family that accepts his past and sees it as a strength and not a weakness. the family that was formed out of solidarity, the family that he fought for and fought alongside with blood, sweat and tears. not to mention the goddaughter of his? sorry i would laugh if it didn't actually rile me up so bad

vincenzo not being able to come back to korea – i've said this in another post of mine, but given that he is The Vincenzo Cassano with all those resources at his disposal (guillotine file, mr ahn/mr cho/the chief etc.), the fact that he isnt even able to stay in korea for 30 fuckin minutes after finishing hanseok was ridiculous. the whole police chase was dumb as hell considering that the show has managed to stop politicians and mf presidential candidates from going after him like ? huh LMAO park jaebum had an on-demand pigeon army in this show and Yet he can't stop like 10 suddenly-righteous policemen. another big ass HUH

chayenzo (here we go...):

NOPE! i've reflected on the ending and decided that i'm going to be petty and salty for a while more before coming to terms with it

i can rationalise and try to be positive and tell myself that their love is enduring can transcend space and time and that in due time, they will find their way back to each other, and i have no doubt that they will because they're one soul in two bodies. it's quite literally canon that they're soulmates.

but let me wallow for a second

here we have two people who have done questionable and terrible things in their past coming together, growing together, grieving together, fighting together... you get the gist of it. you have two people who have found a home in each other. two people who, for all intents and purposes, were about to live in a whole lot of bitterness and solitude if not for each other and the life they built together (chayoung didn't have friends like that, and her family is gone too). to separate them like that at the very end is cruel. i know chayoung and vincenzo are mature and incredible and will be able to function without the other next to them. i know that they will still excel as lawyers and will defeat evil with their underhand methods the way they do so well but my god are they going to feel the absence and miss each other

my point is that they shouldn't have to. from what i could tell, they can't even communicate on a regular basis bc he'll be tracked and whatnot, hence the postcards. a postcard every month is a poor substitute for all those nights they stayed up drinking makgeolli and celebrating their wins. its a shitty replacement for coffee dates and fist bumps and all the moments in between. after everything they've been through, after literally fighting to death for their family, they don't deserve this. they don't deserve to meet up once a year for a couple of hours. they don't deserve pockets of time in malta or korea, their life in a perpetual countdown to when they're going to see each other next

they both deserve love and some semblance of peace (finally finally). they both deserve to have someone to come home to after a hard day of work, because doing what they do cannot be easy. they both deserve a family, deserve to have someone next to them that accepts their past and would embrace their future. they both deserve a hand to hold and a shoulder to lean on. i know they will still be It for each other despite the distance, i just wish the distance didn't even exist in the first place bc its stupid and cruel and their love shouldnt have to be proven or tested with time and space. let them stay together. let them grow together. let them be.

side note: song joongki and jeon yeobeen need another project together idc take it up with god

tl;dr: park jaebum u will be paying for my therapy bills

#vincenzo #tvn vincenzo #this was cathartic #if u made it to the end here's ur kiss #this is more for archival purposes than anything #also this is what happens when my best friends arent caught up yet and i have no outlet

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grelrik-da-bozz · 5 years

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Something to Argue about...

These are a bunch of thoughts related to the overreaction that followed the announcement of the “curse of the blood moon” episode.

Honestly, I don’t know what group of the fandom you belong to, which ship you like or if you just like/follow the serie for it’s plot, but certainly you must have seen the big conmotion that said announcement caused in the starco fans, to the point where some of them even assured that they had “predicted it/analyzed it/dreamed about it” and once we get on the subject it’s something quite ridiculous to come with it as something one discovered by himself, considering that since 2015 it is known by Daron’s own voice that it was a CURSE (she used that particular name for it when she talked about the episode). In that moment she explained that the curse didn’t produce any kind of love between the affected ones (in this case Marco and star) it only linked their souls for eternity... Daron made this clear as an answer to the insistent questions, and she made it clear that to believe it would produce love was a misunderstanding that Tom had about the curse since he was the one assuming that it would make star love him again.

So, what does this post come for? Well, I’ve been thinking about the fact that the serie is being overly rated and over stimated, causing too much on the smallest things that we have seen already in the past, I have decided myself no to watch some episodes as I lost interest on it due to the main character, my brother has managed to keep me on track of the really important things and he has properly let me know about details that he has noticed, these has convinced me to develop some ideas that I imagine will NOT happen in the show, this I assure it as Daron (being the spinless woman she is and who prefers to be praised instead of doing the show as she meant/imagined to do it) probably didn’t even think as options, this based on the fact that in one of her most recent interviews (around 2 or 3 weeks ago) related to the fourth season’s premier she let us know that she “didn’t have as much control as she wanted on the show, but now she does have it”. For anyone that doesn’t know... Daron tried to start the SVTFOE show in 3 other cartoon channels before reaching Disney, it was rejected on all 3 of them and because of that she was surely more susceptible to accept any change as long as the show was produced, which in time forced on a certain degree Marco and star’s relationship as Marco was gonna be star’s ENEMY, not her friend and probably with the curse of the blood moon they would finally turn into friends.

Before we start, take in consideration the following: the wand and the book ar the most powerful elements on this particular universe of SVTFOE (with them you can access time and space and affect them, create beings and things with your mind as part of spells) and being something so important star uses it as if it was a toy, shooting whatever, whenever and wherever she wants, she ruins it, makes it almost run low in batteries, loses it, breaks it, give it up as if it was nothing important twice! As a second thing to take in consideration we should remember that so far only Marco has seen the blood moon, many thought in it’s time that it was due to Marco kissing Jackie (his TRUE LOVE), under the assumption that “Marco couldn’t be infidelt to star” which... is not possible since we later see that no bloodmoon showed up to star when she was with Tom, either they were loving each other or even kissing on the night, there was no moon to appear at any time! Then we must understand that the moon is reacting to something else and I was announcing that for a while now. Black Magic, that’s it, star was using dangerous magic that could corrupt the soul and we know that in the moment she used the spell to spy on Marco she had her sould linked with someone else, right? With that in mind let’s go to the scenarios.

1.- This idea es the closest one to a “Disney moment” : star for some reason or another won’t be under the curse anylonger, this due to her bathing on the same magical waters her mother, Queen Moon, was bathing on and we saw that it removed her curse from her hands (either that or perhaps when she was ‘reborn’ from the wand during her fight with Toffee had the same effect), leaving Marco aas the only one affected and probably in some serious danger as his soul to have an excuse to make the Mary Sue grow even more, knowing this the main characters will search for some help from Eclipsa, probably from that episode on they will focus on saving Marco’s soul, even worse, this curse might not be cleaned by Eclipsa as the book says and perhaps the one who removed it was Globgor, making him the only one capable of saving Marco. After saving him he will be about to die or some shit and he will be saved by a kiss or stuff like that (Disney moment) and then love can do anything, blah, blah haha, boring.

2.- The curse still affects both of them, being a problem because it affects the wand, making it harder for Eclipsa to make it work for some reasons (honestly, do the show ever gives any reason for the wand to work at all), trobuled by this they will try to find out the reason, finding out that the moment Marco and star danced their souls were linked and Marco got partial control over the wand, this could for X or Y reason destroy everything as the magic in the wand is in some kind of trouble (plot reasons) making the whole planet run risks and some other sheningans, they will have to find a way to remove the curse making Marco and star separate themselves to avoid any future damage, then another disney moment will ocurr as they will meet again after a long time (10 years?) Giving us an open ending with them ‘loving each other’.

3.- Quite similar to the other ones, the difference being that the spell that will cleanse them from the curse will work as a “back in time” spell, making them both forget everything related to the dance and any kind of relationship between after that dance starting from the moment the light touch them, meaning this that Marco won’t have any feeling towards star (he never had any to begin with, hell he didn’t even considered her a girl) and viceversa as it work on star as well, being nothing friends again, each one will return to their lives, free from the curse and any unnecesary magic will surely remember his feeling for his TRUE LOVE (Jackie) and they all will have some fun together, perhaps a day as a vacation or something similar, then star will return to her world.

#svtfoe #star vs the forces of evil #thougths #blood moon #blood_moon #curse of the blood moon

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gracemulhollandstudio · 3 years

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Crit Week Notes (comments)

The chair - shakti mat, sore, uncomfort.

the texture of the chair feels very organic, feels like its springing forth from itself or they feel like growths, thought wave stunted buy the difference in texture with the legs.

feels like texture of some sort of fruit from a distant land

fantasy sci fi element coming through, other worldly, snake eyes are poppin

huge contrast between the painting and the object wasn't sure if they were the same work (personally)

void that holds the figure in the painting, speaks to the chair, ends of the hair, vertebrae of the snake alludes to the forms in the chair

Text on the wall in relation to the other works, quite a strong statement its seems quite sort of pointed.

text and chair are working together in a way that the text and the painting maybe not?

tense of the sentence

who or what the statement is directed towards audience, specific?

figure out where the text sits in relation to the painting

intensely blank expression, intensely neutral yet piercing expression

feel as if being scolded, threatened

siren like (figure) tempting but also you will get murdered based on snake skeleton and vague threatening nature of the chair. kind of feels like you're gonna sit on the chair and its gonna eat your flesh. cartoon visual style, contrasts the threatening nature, cartoon is a harmless approachable style especially with the boarder of the work on the wall

text, thinking about death, speaks to a comment on death, flesh makes think about sinning whether it could be to do with that or something like that, punishment

iris motif snake, figure, hypnotic

theatrical, feels like a still from a film, something is just abut to happen after the moment captured in the painting

movement?

snake coiling around its eggs, fertility aspect, circle of life and death, reproducing, life and birth in some sort of aspect, fem fatality

referencing an action comic or anime?

feels like a teacher reading a story,

chair looks like is reminiscent of chucking paint on an amplifier looks like a still of that. chocolate Hershey’s kisses

standing up, i get it its there but looking up its kind of theatrical

wondering if the snake border is the skin of the snake bones

struggling to see how all these things relate to each other maybe its the way its been installed, what am I looking at, how do I assess this

really wanna sit on it

would you read the text from chair first upwards

chair facing the work sounds cool?

feels kind of disjointed, different elements of the work, maybe I want it to be disjointed

wondering if this is one artwork or of its just experiments, if i was to show again how would I do so?

figure self portrait?

make sense that the snake skeleton woven into hair, embrace an interaction

bonkers, the scale of that painting, so unusual to see something of that vocab at that scale. as a drawing/painting its pretty convincing, technically good to be thinking of own response to it not thinking on “what if this was there, what if that was like that”

scale ‘say what???’ you never see it blown up like that

thinking about a couple of things A. the intentionality behind that decision but also hoping or assuming that there is a body of work at comic scale and how working in that space might allow different kind of freedoms for me, artistic freedoms.

language is quite convincing, feels like it belongs in that space, feels like thats like how that world might speak

going deeper into that realm comic size

‘If I could make a comic, I’d make a comic’

raymond pettibon, developed an approach drawn from his love of comics and graphic elements, does work at large scales

might just be super fun to dive right into that space, value of thinking through fiction is that you can ask questions of reality in different ways

if these are the priorities in this realm, and this is how they talk about them (text) how might that reflect on experience

Find the painting quite successful, got me thinking and its visually well done and interested in the thought of fiction, theres a character there like whats her name, whats her story, quite a lot of possibility to pursue that. good at it, intrigued in the deeper thinking or further

portal, mirror (shape of work)

complicating factors - specific symbolism, symbols meaning the same thing to me as audience. First impression of specific symbols. layers to access a work like this. wont have to do this if its wrapped within a comic. Not going ‘who is she’ I could just say who she is. burrowing down into that space.

Tau Lewis, working in Toronto, doesn't make comics but is really into these totally fictional kind of narratives, explores them sculpturally/graphically. For her framing the work actually requires this is ___ they do this and live like this. This provides an instant way into the story instead of reaching into what it actually means.

how we negotiate narrative, symbolism in a work, what is a good balancing act in terms of starting a conversation, progressing my ideas, introducing my politics to an audience.

understanding what a comic character looks like, instantly there is the question of ‘is there a story attached’ so being able to address that in order to be able to continue to use this style or not addressing it if I dont want to

really like the chair, like it as an object, separately as in two seperate works it would work very well because it does address the ideas that I am talking about but together, too many sort of different visual languages in saying the same thing, keep the chair

try and combine it into one work even if it just be an experiment, having all of the compartments in just one see how this feels

find the chair to be stronger then the painting

kind of like the chair with out the texture on the legs, spider like,

fill in medium - Bunnings

chair clearer? able to speak on its own terms. but that just might be the fine arts context because the comic realm isn't always necessarily included in that.

chair direct

pushing the boundary into what can be ‘my art’

intrigued about an artist that makes a snake lady portal painting and a chair covered in spikey like things, its very intriguing.

#studioIIIA

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alienvirals · 7 years

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Alien intelligence: the extraordinary minds of octopuses and other cephalopods

After a startling encounter with a cuttlefish, Australian philosopher Peter Godfrey-Smith set out to explore the mysterious lives of cephalopods. He was left asking: why do such smart creatures live such a short time?

Inches above the seafloor of Sydneys Cabbage Tree Bay, with the proximity made possible by several millimetres of neoprene and a scuba diving tank, Im just about eyeball to eyeball with this creature: an Australian giant cuttlefish.

Even allowing for the magnifying effects of the mask snug across my nose, it must be about 60cm (two feet) long, and the peculiarities that abound in the cephalopod family, that includes octopuses and squid, are the more striking writ so large.

Its body shaped around an internal surfboard-like shell, tailing off into a fistful of tentacles has the shifting colour of velvet in light, and its W-shaped pupils lend it a stern expression. I dont think Im imagining some recognition on its part. The question is, of what?

It was an encounter like this one at exactly the same place, actually, to the foot that first prompted Peter Godfrey-Smith to think about these most other of minds. An Australian academic philosopher, hed recently been appointed a professor at Harvard.

While snorkelling on a visit home to Sydney in about 2007, he came across a giant cuttlefish. The experience had a profound effect on him, establishing an unlikely framework for his own study of philosophy, first at Harvard and then the City University of New York.

The cuttlefish hadnt been afraid it had seemed as curious about him as he was about it. But to imagine cephalopods experience of the world as some iteration of our own may sell them short, given the many millions of years of separation between us nearly twice as many as with humans and any other vertebrate (mammal, bird or fish).

Elle Hunt with an Australian giant cuttlefish at Cabbage Tree Bay, Manly, Sydney. Photograph: Peter Godfrey-Smith

Cephalopods high-resolution camera eyes resemble our own, but we otherwise differ in every way. Octopuses in particular are peculiarly other. The majority of their 500m neurons are in their arms, which can not only touch but smell and taste they quite literally have minds of their own.

That it was possible to observe some kind of subjective experience, a sense of self, in cephalopods fascinated Godfrey-Smith. How that might differ to humans is the subject of his book Other Minds: The Octopus, The Sea and the Deep Origins of Consciousness, published this month by HarperCollins.

In it Godfrey-Smith charts his path through philosophical problems as guided by cephalopods in one case quite literally, when he recounts an octopus taking his collaborator by hand on a 10-minute tour to its den, as if he were being led across the sea floor by a very small eight-legged child.

Charming anecdotes like this abound in Godfrey-Smiths book, particularly about captive octopuses frustrating scientists attempts at observation.

A 1959 paper detailed an attempt at the Naples Zoological Station to teach three octopuses to pull and release a lever in exchange for food. Albert and Bertram performed in a reasonably consistent manner, but one named Charles tried to drag a light suspended above the water into the tank; squirted water at anyone who approached; and prematurely ended the experiment when he broke the lever.

Most aquariums that have attempted to keep octopuses have tales to tell of their great escapes even their overnight raids of neighbouring tanks for food. Godfrey-Smith writes of animals learning to turn off lights by directing jets of water at them, short-circuiting the power supply. Elsewhere octopuses have plugged their tanks outflow valves, causing them to overflow.

This apparent problem-solving ability has led cephalopods (particularly octopuses, because theyve been studied more than squid or cuttlefish) to be recognised as intelligent. Half a billion neurons put octopuses close to the range of dogs and their brains are large relative to their size, both of which offer biologists a rough guide to brainpower.

The coconut octopus is one of the few cephalopods known to exhibit the behaviour of using a tool. Photograph: Mike Veitch/Alamy

In captivity, they have learned to navigate simple mazes, solve puzzles and open screw-top jars, while wild animals have been observed stacking rocks to protect the entrances to their dens, and hiding themselves inside coconut shell halves.

But thats also reflective of their dexterity: an animal with fewer than eight legs may accomplish less but not necessarily because it is more stupid. Theres no one metric by which to measure intelligence some markers, such as tool use, were settled on simply because they were evident in humans.

I think its a mistake to look for a single, definitive thing, says Godfrey-Smith. Octopuses are pretty good at sophisticated kinds of learning, but how good its hard to say, in part because theyre so hard to experiment on. You get a small amount of animals in the lab and some of them refuse to do anything you want them to do theyre just too unruly.

He sees that curiosity and opportunism their mischief and craft, as a Roman natural historian put it in the third century AD as characteristic of octopus intelligence.

Their great escapes from captivity, too, reflect an awareness of their special circumstances and their ability to adapt to them. A 2010 experiment confirmed anecdotal reports that cephalopods are able to recognise and like or dislike individual humans, even those that are dressed identically.

It is no stretch to say they have personalities. But the inconsistencies of their behaviour, combined with their apparent intelligence, presents an obvious trap of anthropomorphism. Its tempting, admits Godfrey-Smith, to attribute their many enigmas to some clever, human-like explanation.

A paradox: octopuses have big brains and short life spans. Photograph: Peter Godfrey-Smith

Opinions of octopus intelligence consequently vary within the scientific community. A fundamental precept of animal psychology, coined by the 19th-century British psychologist C Lloyd Morgan, says no behaviour should be attributed to a sophisticated internal process if it can be explained by a simpler one.

That is indicative of a general preference for simplicity of hypotheses in science, says Godfrey-Smith, that as a philosopher he is not convinced by. But scientific research across the board has become more outcome-driven as a result of the cycle of funding and publishing, and he is in the privileged position of being able to ask open-ended questions.

Thats a great luxury, to be able to roam around year after year, putting pieces together very slowly.

That process, set in motion by his chance encounter with a cuttlefish a decade ago, is ongoing. Now back based in Australia, lecturing at the University of Sydney, Godfrey-Smith says his study of cephalopods is increasingly influencing his professional life (and his personal one: Arrival, the 2016 film about first contact with cephalopod-esque aliens, was a good, inventive film, he says, though the invaders were a bit more like jellyfish).

When philosophers ponder the mind-body problem, none poses quite such a challenge as that of the octopuss, and the study of cephalopods gives some clues to questions about the origins of our own consciousness.

Our last common ancestor existed 600m years ago and was thought to resemble a flattened worm, perhaps only millimetres long. Yet somewhere along the line, cephalopods developed high-resolution, camera eyes as did we, entirely independently.

A camera eye, with a lens that focuses an image on a retina weve got it, theyve got it, and thats it, says Godfrey-Smith. That it was arrived at twice in such vastly different animals gives pause for thought about the process of evolution, as does their inexplicably short life spans: most species of cephalopods live only about one to two years.

The study of cephalopods gives some clues to questions about the origins of our own consciousness. Photograph: Peter Godfrey-Smith

When I learned that, I was just amazed it was such a surprise, says Godfrey-Smith, somewhat sadly. Id just gotten to know the animals. I thought, Ill be visiting these guys for ages. Then I thought, No, I wont, theyll be dead in a few months.

Its perhaps the biggest paradox presented by an animal that has no shortage of contradictions: A really big brain and a really short life. From an evolutionary perspective, Godfrey-Smith explains, it does not give a good return on investment.

Its a bit like spending a vast amount of money to do a PhD, and then youve got two years to make use of it … the accounting is really weird.

One possibility is that an octopuss brain needs to be powerful just to preside over such an unwieldy form, in the same way that a computer would need a state-of-the-art processor to perform a large volume of complex tasks.

I mean, the body is so hard to control, with eight arms and every possible inch an elbow. But that explanation doesnt account for the flair, even playfulness with which they apply it.

They behave smartly, they do all these novel, inventive things that line of reasoning doesnt resolve things, by any stretch, says Godfrey-Smith. Theres still a somewhat mysterious element there.

Other Minds: The Octopus and the Evolution of Intelligent Life is published by William Collins. To order a copy for 17 (RRP 20) go to bookshop.theguardian.com or call 0330 333 6846. Free UK p&p over 10, online orders only. Phone orders min p&p of 1.99. It is out through Harper Collins in Australia.

Read more: http://www.theguardian.com/us

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survivorkomnata · 5 years

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Episode #10: “ I'm a fucking Virgo. If you burn me I will never forget it.” - Jess

Dear Alyssa,

For someone who claims to have a HUGE interest in Astrology.... you seem to have forgotten the fact that I'm a fucking Virgo. If you burn me I will never forget it. You declared war and that's on YOU.

youtube

i hate this “we only start talking an hour before tribal” nonsense that this merge tribe has going on. like pls get your lives together sooner. i don’t even message ppl anymore bc we just do the “yaaa i haven’t heard anything” “me either” back and forth

i feel pretty hopeless in the game i’m ngl, fully think we should just wrap it up now and give zach the win

alyssa is an emotional and illogical player who came into the merge with the goal of miguel and luke being voted out for voting against her premerge. she didn’t think of the long term, only revenge. it’s embarrassing.

i don’t rly have an endgame path. or anything anymore. i miss luke and stephen.

So, yesterday was a bit of blindside for me. Not even really because Luke left, I woke up that morning willing to vote him out myself, but because I was unable to get Karth, Tim, or Alyssa on my side. I don't think any of them are truly "against me" at this point but it's a little worrying that Luke left over Jake, who I still don't really have a strategic relationship with.

Alyssa confronted me last night saying that other people had gone to her and said that I was planning to target her once Jake was gone. This isn't exactly true, but it has enough basis in reality since I have talked in the "4-elements" alliance about how we should target Jake before going after Alyssa. I'm not sure who went to her with this idea, nor do I know if she was even approached with it in the first place. Alyssa has deceived me for 2 votes now. First, she outright lied to me about voting Zach out at F10 (I still don't technically have confirmation of this, but it makes sense that she'd take out Luke/Miguel as soon as possible). More evidence supporting that she lied is that the former Kato2.0 side decided to vote Luke out next, which would be odd if he was the one to flip to their side at the first merge vote.

The second thing she lied about was being on the fence at this last tribal council. After Luke was gone she told Jess that we "should've known she didn't want Jake out" despite her never saying that to us. It's clear that Alyssa had planned to vote Luke out as soon as she knew this would be a 5-4 vote. But she lied to me about that and wasted my time up until the very last minute.

Basically, what I'm saying is... it's getting exhausting to try and work with her strategically. It's not like Ally/Jess/Karth, who I feel I can talk frankly and honestly with. I want her and Jake gone. Jake hasn't really "wronged" me in anyway, but I can tell him and Alyssa have to at least be a little close so the jury can have both of them. Honestly, I kinda want them both gone more than Zach at this point. I'm doing my best to win this upcoming immunity challenge so people stop going behind my back, but if Zach were to win.. well... I certainly have a few alternatives in mind.

I am feeling a bit stuck in this game. With Zach in the game I feel my game is pretty restricted and I would feel too bad to backstab him. I already felt bad for voting Luke. I just dont know what to do here.

i have no idea what’s happening

zach and karth have reached out to me about potentially trying to reconcile and ofc i’m open to that

i’m kinda worried they’re voting jess out and i hope not bc i love her

i wish i had any kind of idea what i was doing

i wish luke didn’t get voted out

i wish this idol search made sense

i wish i was a little bit taller i wish i was a baller

So apparently Zach and Jake are throwing around Stephen's name with my name as an alternative. I'm not surprised at all at this rate. I figured this would happen as soon as I took my strike at both Zach and Jake.

The only possible saving grace from this all is that both Alyssa and Tim let me know about it. This kind of gives me a glimmer of hope that both of them aren't willing to at least vote me out at this stage in the game. If they'd did.. they'll look like idiots because I'm playing such a horrible game. I have yet to make a big move or win an immunity, I don't have any solid alliances aside from "The Last Hope" which honestly just a circumstantial alliance and most likely we die soon. Taking me at this point is ridiculous because I'm literally the perfect person to sit final 3 with right now.

My game plan at least now is.. I want either Zach or Jake to go. If I can work the angle of Jake or Zach trying to get me out as a way to sway people who think I'm their best friend in this game... yeet. If not I am dead and I will write my own eulogy....

If I get voted out because I lost immunity by 1 point.. I WILL FUCKING RIOT.

youtube

Ok so sorry for the lack of confessionals going on I have a lot (of good things) happening in my life atm. Anyways, I got sent to the basement which sux and now the vote is super stressful!!! I'm pretty much pulling a lot of strings within the tribe atm and trying to balance it all! I have Zach and Jake in my pocket completely!! Jake and Alyssa are like on my coat tail and Jess/Stephen/and Ally are in their grave ready to be destroyed lmaoo. Fingers crossed I don't go home.

im vulnerable, and it's an hour til tribal. i'm unsure of what's going to happen. here's a quick recap:

A - i go to ally/stephen to encourage reconciling. i think this is genuinely smart as we are all 'big threats' and it's stupid to let middle players slide by while helping pin bigger threats against one another. they basically end up agreeing (more so stephen). B - alyssa and tim come to me (separately) saying that they are throwing my name around, and tim goes even further to say that they want to split between me / jake. this sounds really believable based on track record. C - ally pms me saying that she heard X told Jess who told her that i'm targeting stephen. i say it's true, but under the circumstances that people are saying they are going after me. D - we talk in the "alliance" chat and come to a conclusion that jake should be the vote as he best fits the "middle player" role, thus being dangerous. though i disagree, i'm in no position to bury karthik/tim in a hole. E - with karthik spearheading, i help flip the vote from stephen to jess. this is because jess will weaken that side, and i don't trust her. at all. on top of that, it helps me not worry as much abt alyssa being sketchy & it keeps my promise 2 stephen/ally in the sense of not voting stephen (and i can argue saying that with them lying at merge, i had to be reaaaalllllyyyy cautious). F - i'm unsure about my idol. it could still happen. right now i'm leaning towards playing my idol because i want it GONE. by using this idol, here are the outcomes: F.1 - the vote is 4-4 or even more slanted, and i idol successfully, meaning jess will leave this game. F.2 - i receive 0 votes and completely waste it. this makes me more vulnerable, but also, could help if i utilize it correctly/effectively. F.3 - I receive 3 votes (give or take) and it's ineffective but shows that i can't trust ally/stephen and by attachment, jess (who should be gone). i guess my preferred order would be F1 -> F3 -> F2 just because if i use it, i want it to be as effective as possible since wasting an idol isn't going to help my case at FTC (which is already weak LSDGKDSLGDSH).

my gut is really sick (as always bar f9.. so just f10). i don't THINK i'm getting any votes, but u can never be too sure. to elaborate on the entire point of 'F', i want to go over pros n cons of idolling (and wasting it). PROS: - no more paranoia for me (GOD BLESS) - i'm much more vulnerable, meaning they may not target me (double-sided) - im 100% safe regardless, and in f7. CONS: - im more vulnerable; easier to target. - ppl are shook bc i dont trust them/ didnt tell them - its wasted and doesnt help my FTC case.

and lastly, who has the idols? [based on tribe idols] CONFIRMED: me . (OG Takagi idol) LIKELY: alyssa (the only person who could have two) COULD POSSIBLY HAVE ONE: stephen (someone probs has attila, i think itd be him or alyssa). karthik (basement king, but def not tribal idol probs .) jake (og kato, could have the kato idol). NOT LIKELY: tim (og takagi/nu-kato. both idols were gone, so i doubt it. but, maybe basement??) jess (unless she worked w alissa n found attalia, it's no) DEFINITELY NOT: ally (was on OG Takagi (my idol) and takagi post-swap, so unless swap idol, N/A).

Jess is voted out 5-3. She becomes the fourth member of our jury.

#escapenow #episode

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thinking2050bytricia-blog · 7 years

Text

Interview with Surgeon Notes

These are my raw notes with Beatriz Leong, a resident surgeon.

Beatriz Leong (33)

General Surgery Resident at USC Alina 18 months Dailin 12 years

What do you think about the concept of an Artificial Womb?

“ I don’t think it’s going to take off” Pregnancy is a very unique process It’s made that you build this bond with the child. -> There’s going to be bonding issues with that.” I don’t recommend it.

It’s not going to be accessible, it’s too expensive. Not going to be a future. Perhaps for a high-risk pregnancy.

I can imagine that people would still use it. Like in concierge medicine. Family doctors are expensive. They’ll do everything for the patient. The ethics are more blurred. Not accessible to everyone.

What do you think about universal healthcare?

The way things are going, I doubt it. Heathcare-> a lot of countries believe its a human right make it univerally available but in this country, capitalism makes it difficult. Implementing universal healthcare private insurance companies individidualism-> people want unique & special -> one of the things that will continue people are living longer and developing new diseases Like what?

“Everything will be patient centered” The pharmacies will be closer. Everything should communicate together, hard changing in many levels training, uncomfortable-> Electronic health records, having to work, electronic is harder?

Electronic documentation takes more time. Electronic healthcare some systems fo well. Most don’t implement changes Noew computers can access indefinitely, so there’s more litigation. Patients feel convenience at fingertips, physicians in the future will have more of this.

50 years more accountable for everything * patient its a simpler process, family physian, patients want more specialists. That makes the cycle worse

New Diseases -> Advanced types of cancers -> Incidental things, clinically involved -> Go to the ER, want CT Scan ->PAtients request imaging -> Find abnormalities small tumors for example

**People are now more worried about small things in their bodies that would not **Problem: too much scanning and exposure to radiation (how would we fix that?)

Do you think that robots will be able to diagnose and doctors will not have to do it? Web MD. For quick diagnosis “I don’t think there is a percentage of error. I don’t think a machine or robot will be able to diagnose with absolute certainty and take that judgement.”

** Doctors will still be needed to help discuss the options with the patient, as it is an emotional encounter.

What is the emotional connection? Is it much better if a doctor gives the message? The doctor can read them and empathize with them. What would you do if this was your mother?

I do think medicine will become more accessible, diagnosis, treatment options Patients will live longer “Certain element of comfort to have someone go through it with you”

What happens in a really good connection? Most of meds truly want to help people its really difficult to have the discussion with people

**The goal of a doctor is to help people (Intrinsic purpose) innate drive People would see someone that they are comfortable with, and will drive far to go to them. Seeing a doctor has value over typing symptoms.

What kinds of diseases will exist in an aging population? Atherosclerotic disease (From fats) Lifestyle diseases Dementia Parkinsons Toxins Air quality

Defibrillators connect to your phone and surgeon etc, we can talk and communicate easily.

What changes in healthcare for the elderly? Education does not equal training physicians for the future large deficit of physicians in the beginning more sub speciality services not enough experiences Ends up affecting the poor and uneducated Personal health care heart failure services pacemaker

Longevity healthcare Age is a pretty strong factor, hearts are older ** its important for patients to be dedicated to their health and be self-driven needs to start early *habits are difficult to break

Nanotechnology what do you know about it?

I worked on nanodelivery mechanisms. We are a long way from it We have magnetic beads with specific surface peptides. Certainly will happen

Pregnancy

Big Pharma “Med start ups are bough out by a bigger company.” Startups will be bought by doctores small companies dont have resources to run randomized clinical trials Clinical trials Realistically only the NIH Gov running slower development, not develop as quickly because only patients stand to gain for it. People dont have trials Big pharma is capitalism things being overprices, we developed technology to be advanced ** its what motivates people to create more solutions, like with investors. If it is government run it is too slow.

What do you think of my vision of a UBI? Its quite a big socialist idea This country attacks communist socialist I don’t foresee it State level may work, people will pay more taxes, will provide them with basic People will pay more taxes, I already have to pay 30% of my income because of my tax bracket Provide them with basic salary do strongly believe we don’t take care of our elders and sustain our jobs.

What do you think about the universal income People inherently compete, get more money, vicious cycles Certain percentage of population top 1% will get it Its not sustainable

What do you think about the universal income? A person at UPS and me will make the same amount of money in 40 years

Whats a better solution? What is more feasible? Making jobs and education that are invaluable to society more afforable know plenty of jobs that never go away. There are so many people that can become amazing Doctors, teachers, surgeons, debt is impossible Cuts out so many people. We still have a huge teaching deficit Make jobs like this (teaching jobs) more attractive more money less debt Recruit more at high schools.

How to get there Theres no guidance, nobody cares you have to do it yourself. degree and cannot use it. Education is not efficient. **People feel the pressure to 4 years of university There should be more vocational schools You should not have to rack up so much debt and then go to vocational school.

What do you think about designer babies? No professional exposure to designer babies Genetically modified child, selecting beauty characteristics, the number of times things go wrong is inevitable, long term health pregnancy is rare enough Health and convenience and safety. Highly unethical

amniocentesis **People will be able to tell what disease their baby will have many children are aborted in the first trimester. There are so many problems that can go wrong in the pregnancy. Healthy pregnancy is so rare that starting to modify a fetus is highly unethical.

Epigenetics *Nearby coding material DNA helix contracted, when its all together You don’t know how this will affect everything What if it does not work? Possible with everyone Physicians will say no Concierge medicine-> Money eventually will allow it

New sports * Be smart -> Genetically modified children will face bullying and be profiled with discrimination, It will put a target on the child *Its like being adopted People will discriminate against them **GMC will struggle with identity problems Women will have fetuses with birth defects. Incompatible with life. Women will be able to choose to abort a child.

What do you think about Artificial Wombs and Abortion?

I don’t know if it’s medically possible to separate the placenta fetus from a womb. The blood floor stops, Who is going to raise those kids? Taxpayers money. Homes I don’t know that not aborting the child will allow a child to have a better life because we cannot assume a child will be wanted and cared for. and I don’t know which one is better.

It’s worse hearing about an abused child.

It is the utilitarian approach? I don’t think that would work.

Aging populations should be comfortable and beauty. It’s not the way it is. More fragiles, feasible to be other. *****People want to feel young and free Everyone will complain things will start to not feel right

Mother Foetal Attachment: As an outsider, and as a Mother Medically largely emotional event to give birth. There is hormonal imbalance Need hormonal injections to simulate it. Massive rush of endorphines Mutilate the body. You’re okay with pain to bring life. emotions trigger memories unlike anything you experience man and women. Love makes you silling, and goofy Going through the pregnanncy Emotions trigger memories, unlike anything you experience. Man and women sense of doom.

Concept artificial womb situation 1. some upsides: **A. Women in a male dominated field will be able to work while pregnant B. Certain Value to not having to miss work

2. Medically cannot conceptualise how this would work **3. Problem: Cannot leave child alone at home 4. Could have a pod center. fetus is a parasite, womens hormones will be irregular **5. its like how a penguin brings their eggs around****

How will society react to it? 1. people will be nice, curious and interested 2. People will want babies, everyone loves them 3. Its like having a surrogate 4. everyone has a right to have a baby

Aging 1. should be beautiful 2. everyone aging is fragile, wrinkles, shrinks, feasible to be mobile longer.

In Urban homes * people have less kids, 2 doctors no kids. * population is aging because less epople have kids, elderly will work longer, people are developed and not have kids

More older people will have to work or less people? **Keep skilled people in the workforce. Hope this means more jobs for younger people. 15 year difference, level of expecation for work. great depression -> Glad to have any job not the case anymore **raising people entitled to convenience will find that they are not as hardworking and just WANT to be rich and free.

9 months -> Breast feeding, drink milk and toddler different taste

Babies drink regular milk? Every 3-4 hours she would have a bottle. She would eat a little bit then have a bottle.

What was it like to take care of her as a newborn?

Not too bad, it was like a whirlwind. It’s a huge difference in responsibility. Everything you do revolves around the newborn. They don’t sleep well, they don’t eat well, they poo all the time.

Figure out how to get them to eat

How do you get them to eat? I breast fed both of them. They had to learn how to latch on. It’s hard to get them to lat on and release, and they can give you sores. They need to breast feed and get milk (design product to help babies latch onto their mother’s breast)

She was getting jaundice and belerubin. She was getting dehydrated and yellow. She had to get a hospital thing, she had to feed her and pump to get enough milk.

Once she latches on, it’s not a problem. You just have to limit how long they feed. It’s soothing and it makes them fall asleep. People would supplement them with a pacifier and they would fall asleep like that. Once you get them on a good eating schedule you need to get them on a good sleeping schedule. Hopefully they take an hour nap and then you gotta clean them. With her, we would put her down not in our room and give her three hours to sleep and relax. She was never fussy and would fall asleep. When she was a couple months, she started to sleep 6 hours at 2 months, then 8 hours then all throughout the night. She could start sleeping at 3 months.

The dad’s cant do a lot, they can’t nurse, they can’t nurse them at night. Her husband would be awake during the day a lot and then at night she would be up. Eventually she started sleeping through the night.

The key is to sleep when they sleep. I can sleep anywhere. A lot of people can’t sleep anywhere. A lot of new moms struggle with being able to sleep right. You need to feed them so that they don’t get dehydrated.

It takes them 45 minutes to drink 2 oz,

15 mins changing them

30 mins get them to sleep

30 mins and do it all over again.

You got to figure out your routine. I would give her a bath, change her, wrap her, swaddle, put her in the crib and she fell asleep. She was so happy it worked. It was totally by accident but she was able to get the baby to go to sleep in the crib. ** you can teach baby sleeping habits.

Dailin was different. She would only sleep if you rocked her to bed, and she would sleep on her husband’s chest.

You seem to deal with that unending cycle pretty well huh? The baby is so good.

What about when you were pregnant with her? What was the first trimester like?

We had a hard time to get pregnant.

The first one was easy but it was hard to have more babies.

She started medical school, and she could not have a baby at that time, so she went on birth control.

The next moment, she was able to have a child.

She wanted to have it with good timing, so that with work it would all go well together.

1st trimester “I was always nauseated. I was always throwing up.” In the OR she would go out, throw up then come back. “I was always tired” She only wants to sleep all the time. She just wants to go back to sleep. For like the longest time, I stopped six months before getting pregnant. I wanted to be healthy, I wasn’t drinking coffee or medications. Being a surgery resident and not drinking coffee its’s difficult.

* *its hard you cannot take medication when pregnant.

By the time that you’re nine months you are so big and 30 pounds overweight, most people gain a lot more

2nd trimester is a nice medium period You can’t lay on your back. IV & back pressure sore and heavy. Bodies hormones get used to hormone levels. Not so big that your physically limited

3rd trimester is anxiety provoking. Winding down? There’s all these anticipatory emotions. When you are over that midway point there’s all this counting down. Holy shit am I ready. It’s been 12 years since we did this what are we going to do. It is definitely exciting.

I was not dialating. When the babies get 41 weeks, they grow a pound a week

The placenta starts to peel away on its own, there’s a lot of risk to the baby,

Baby has blankets she carrys around. Baby has her own language, basic more all done say thank you. Eat and drink, eating a lot, picky dimsum, eat everything.

Car seats: They hate it. Some kids like it, some kids hate car seats and not being free 1. removeable car seats are easier 2. Toddler seat has to stay in the car. Struggles, difficult ot get out. Likes going in the cave and playing *3. Fancy carseats don’t work, they need to be baby proof because babies will pop in it, throw up, throw chocolate, everything. 4. one arm is in and the other is out 5. she likes going in the car to play with buttons but she doesnt like sitting in the carseat

Stroller: She will not get into a stroller. a good stroller would be a jogging stroller.

What was it like to not be able to conceive? I try to stay fairly positive & See the good. Not let it affect my work Supportive

What’s it like to have kids as a surgeon and working? Residents usually don’t have kids because they are too busy. before that nobody had kids, most of the nurses didnt have kids. ** The hardest thing was not being able to be home when having a bad day, **Not being able to relax, hard to be away from them * miss out and gone a lot. a lot of guilt is associated with that. WOuldnt be happy without being a surgeon and having kids Nobody teaches you to be a parent. -> Definitely a lot of pressure and judgement **Children need a mom figure in their lives. both parents work and still work

Premies twins premature, babies not ideal babies survive as early What do they need 1. Breathing tubes that are tiny (half size of pen) 2. IV Access. cannullas in the heart and the big vein. Draw the blood out of the vein and into the heart.

3. In the umbillical artery (Hebrin to prevent it 4. Put a catherer in their blood to take care of them 5. Their skin is not mature enough as a barrier 6. Warmer -> Incubators 7. Babies don’t go home until they are a stational age. 8.dialysis the blood. 9. Babies are fed formula or try to get the mothers to pump their milk 10. PFO - open corrin Require many surgeries esophagus to fix that feeding tube (Suckle on a niple for 3 weeks.

There are so many problems that can go wrong with birth defects. I don’t know how this machine would work. I have no idea how I would have had a normal pregnancy

“you don’t think of all the negative aspects.”

What is that? Freezing eggs Ovulate, 2 or a handful of eggs menopause chanves of reg is less ->U have all the eggs in your system ->Chances of having eggs are less Invitro doesnt always work

New industry**** * Service to have frozen eggs, service to harvest eggs, service for storing eggs, service for getting the eggs back. Very expensive *People desire to have children. ** Strong desire.

I dont get desensitized. patients affect her quite a bit

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viralhottopics · 7 years