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wave2tyun · 3 months

Text

killshot | ☆

pairing: taehyun x fem!reader

genre: spy!au, enemies to lovers, fake dating, slow burn, suggestive, a bit of fluff and angst

summary: your life seemed to have taken a turn for the worse the minute kang taehyun stepped foot into the spy agency you worked at. wanting to take on a challenge to prove yourself worthy of the top position, your plans were turned upside down with his addition to the mission. you didn’t think things could get any worse, until they stated one clear, mandatory condition: the two of you had to pretend you were a couple.

warnings: lots of swearing, alcohol consumption, the reader gets tipsy (twice), mentions of death, guns and bombs (there’s nothing explicit though), the presence of an annoying drunk man | let me know if i missed something!!

word count: 9.7k

a/n: this was just a silly little idea that i got during a car drive asdbfhj whenever i repost fics i always kind of get the urge to say "omg this was one of my favorite fics to write" - i think it's because i end up getting so attached to the little universes that i create and then look back on them fondly; with this one, i really really mean it when i say those words (maybe because it's also longer). when i first posted it i actually felt like i gave birth cause it got SO MUCH LONGER than i anticipated ASBHJDS

☆ = repost from my old blog!!

"no."

"hear me out-"

"i'm not hearing anybody out. i'm doing this alone- just like we intended from the start" you hissed.

"y/n, we went over this already" irene pinched the bridge of her nose, sighing "the enemy has changed their plan of action, so we need to change it too. it's not safe for you to go alone anymore"

"that i can understand. but him-" you pointed an accusatory finger to the man in front of you “why does he need to be involved in this? there have to be other suitable agents for this mission”

“trust me, darling, if i could do this alone, i would” he replied bitterly, rolling his eyes.

“listen you two- these orders came directly from the head office. they want you to work on this, not anybody else- and there’s nothing that i can do to change this.” irene crossed her arms. she was completely tired of the way you were both behaving- just like two kids continuously throwing sand in each other’s eyes.

“fine.” you gave in, biting your tongue and swallowing your pride. there was no use being stubborn if the head office was involved, the best thing you could do in this situation was to choose being the bigger person.

irene raised an eyebrow at taehyun, waiting for his response as well.

“fine-“ he repeated after you, throwing daggers towards your direction. you were glad to know the feeling of disgust was mutual.

“finally” irene exclaimed, letting out a big sigh “took you long enough. here’s the modified plan papers. remember- there’s no way i’m allowing you to back out anymore”

you took the small stack of papers from her hands, skimming through the text. gather the gadgets and weapons, bla bla bla, disarm the bomb hidden at the event, bla bla bla, protect france’s president, bla bla bla, disguise yourself as a couple- wait.

“are you fucking kidding me- am i reading this right?” you spat out, eyes almost popping out at the sight. you went over the passage again and again, hoping that you had simply misread it- but there it was, black ink on white paper, the word written clear as day: “couple”

irene massaged her temples with her hands “in order for this mission to be carried out with ease, we need you to act as a cou-“

“no” you both said in unison, cutting her off.

you side-eyed taehyun, somehow feeling offended that he also declined the proposal right away. you knew you had your reasons to not accept that condition- but why was he saying “no”?

kang fucking taehyun- his name alone felt like poison on your tongue.

but it wasn’t like your hatred towards him was unjustified- in fact, you couldn't remember if there was even one second- let alone one day- where him just breathing didn’t make you feel like plotting murder. one day, he just strutted into the agency, acting like he owned the place. he was quick to gain respect from his superiors, his charms alone making it easier for him to receive more complicated missions- and better equipment. you being mad was an understatement. why? just because he was a man, he had it all easy. he has been in the agency for just one year, and he has already surpassed you in ranks, all of the hard work you’ve been putting in for years going down the drain.

you’ve been relentlessly trying to regain your honorable place in the agency. kang taehyun was quick to catch on to your little act, and he wasn’t one to back off easily either- resulting in the two of you being at each other’s necks every second. you viewed this mission as what could have possibly been ‘your redemption arc’. the universe somehow always found a way to get him involved in your business. but this time, you weren’t gonna let him steal your spotlight- not again. you needed to find a way to secure the number one place in rankings like you used to, and you were willing to do whatever it took to feel that glory one more time, even if that meant cooperating with the kang taehyun.

“if you die, i’ll kill you” you hissed.

“big words coming from someone who stands on a chair to reach the top shelves” he fought back, unfazed by your threat. your mouth opened at this accusation, when did he even catch you doing that?

“you piece of-“

“enough” irene sighed, moving to stand between the two of you “you’re gonna bring back my migraines if you keep on acting like that. can’t you treat each other as normal people do? just this once- please? you’re only making this harder for yourselves”

you sighed, rubbing the nape of your neck. irene was a sweetheart, she didn’t deserve to be the victim of your petty fight “when do we have to start?”

her eyes seemed to light up a bit, relieved by your change in attitude “as soon as possible” she skimmed through her notes again “the earliest flight is in 3 days- how about it?”

“that’s okay for me” you said. you silently glanced over at taehyun, who rolled his eyes, uncrossing his arms “guess i’m in too”.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

5 hours.

that was the amount of time you had to endure sitting next to taehyun on the flight. you could handle this, you tried to tell yourself. you’ve been in much worse situations during some of your missions. in the end, it didn’t necessarily mean that the two of you had to interact during that time. you could just sleep the whole flight away and not have to exchange a word with taehyun once.

wrong.

kang taehyun just seemed to love seeing you suffer, in any way, shape or form. it had you seriously contemplating whether he was some kind of sadist. you thought you could at least go through check in and security without any unpleasant incidents happening, but you were wrong- so painfully wrong.

you arrived two hours early to the airport, wanting to get done with the whole process as fast as possible then hide from taehyun at the food court until it was time for you to board the plane. however, two minutes after you took your place in the check-in line, your peace was disrupted.

“you’re early- were you that eager to see me, sweetheart?”

your eye was twitching at the sound of the nickname. you didn’t even have to turn your head to the right to know who was next to you.

“why did it have to be you here at this hour?” you grumbled.

“crazy- it’s almost as if we’re on the same flight” he rolled his eyes “don’t even think about going to the back of the line- we have the same last name on the tickets so we shouldn’t go separately anyway”

you loosened your grip on the suitcase and bit your cheek, it was like he knew your exact thoughts at the moment. the whole thing was all too corny for you- why did the company have to change your name and give you new documents? just because you were ‘a couple’ didn’t mean that you had to be married as well.

security didn’t exactly go smooth either- as if the whole process wasn’t already stressful enough. you should have been suspicious the moment taehyun let you sit in front of him at the line. at that moment, you just brushed it off and thought nothing of it, but when the metal detector went off as you were walking through- that’s when it all clicked.

that little fucker slipped one of his rings in your pocket.

a string of unholy words was running wildly in your mind as the security patted you down to search for any suspicious items. you wished you could jump on him and wipe that grin off his face. he somehow felt the need to embarrass you even further once the ring had been found. he put on a charming smile as he rubbed the nape of his neck, looking up at the security lady “so sorry for my wife- she tends to be quite clumsy, i told her before to check well before walking away from me”

the lady melted down in an instant, letting out a bunch of ‘it’s okay’ before handing you back the ring. he felt the need to make such a scene and for what? to feed his ego? you didn’t bother to wait until he was through with security as well. you gathered your things from the tray as fast as you could, storming past all the other people to get further away from him.

you browsed all the shops (sometimes even hiding in the dressing rooms) until you couldn’t avoid taehyun any longer. you didn’t talk to him once you met up again, even though you knew that it didn’t affect him anyway. nonetheless, taehyun ensured that your day would have a cherry on top- by stealing the one and only window seat.

and you?

you made sure to spill your water on him during turbulence.

that seemed to be enough to make him stop bothering you throughout the flight. he slept away as you played sudoku on your phone, too paranoid to fall asleep yourself in case he would wake up with new ideas in mind.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

after making sure that your bag smacked taehyun’s head when you took it from the upper storage, you both went to retrieve your luggage then headed out to find a taxi and go to your accommodation.

valets, chandeliers, grand paintings adoring the walls, the hotel seemed quite fancy. you weren’t really used to this kind of treatment from your agency, it was the least they could do for all the headaches you were going to endure throughout the mission.

the receptionist handed you the small paper sleeve containing the key cards. you furrowed your brows as you opened it, peering inside. there were 2 cards in there, but for the exact same hotel room. you instantly expressed your confusion “why is there just one r-“ taehyun kicked your foot, continuing to smile at the receptionist as you bit your tongue to hold back a scream. “is there anything else i can help you with?” she inquired.

“i’m pretty sure that’s it, thank you” taehyun answered before you could open your mouth to speak. he took hold of your arm, flashing the receptionist another fake smile before dragging you along with him towards the elevator.

“don’t touch me” you broke free from his grip “what the hell was that about?”

taehyun pressed the floor number on the keypad “are you that fucking dense? he sighed exasperatedly “we’re a couple- remember? we need to act like one, so stop having these unnecessary slip-ups”

‘stupid cover’ you cursed in your mind the person who had been in charge for outlining the plans for your mission. out of all the possible lies they could have made you hold on to- this is what they went for. it was almost like they did this on purpose to annoy you.

ding.

you took hold of your suitcase again, following behind taehyun as you searched for your room “besides- the hotel isn’t scruffy this time, their budget seems to be pretty high for once. so, they might have booked us a suite, not just a single room” he continued, trudging the door open.

your feet were frozen, not moving an inch from the doorway “taehyun- this is not a fucking suite” you snarled, slowly turning your head in his direction.

“why are you talking as if it’s my fault?” taehyun snapped back. he entered the room, bumping his shoulders against yours as you refused to go further in.

“well if you hadn’t been so quick to silence me at the reception- maybe this wouldn’t have been a problem” you pushed your suitcase in, putting your hands on your hips.

“and risk blowing our cover? yeah- what a great plan that would have been” he huffed.

“there’s no way i’m sharing a bed with you” you hissed

“don’t worry- it’s not a pleasure for me either sweetheart. it’s either sleeping on the floor- or with me. your choice”

taehyun didn’t seem like he would ever consider giving up his spot on the bed- but neither did you. you weren’t going to settle for back pain as he snored away on the soft mattress.

so, you laid down on the bed, as far away as you could from taehyun. you were sitting so close to the edge that you were on the verge of falling off, but you couldn't even stand the mere thought of being in such close proximity to him. the thought of his arm touching yours made your skin crawl.

yet, despite breathing in the same room as taehyun, you somehow managed to get what was probably the best sleep of your life. keeping your eyes closed just for one moment more, you held the blanket closer to you, enjoying the warmth it provided, snuggling your face deeper into the pillow beneath you. but the pillow wasn't as soft as you remembered when you put your head down to sleep last night. instead, it was hard, and somehow hot to the touch. confused, you brought a hand up and pressed down on it, slightly squeezing it, then removed it as if you had just gotten burnt when you were met with the feeling of bare skin on skin.

"if you wanted to touch me that badly you could have just asked, love" a raspy voice came from beneath you.

"what the fuck-" you shouted as you got up and finally opened your eyes. you squinted as you adjusted to the bright light coming from the sun.

kang taehyun was sitting right next to you, bare chest exposed and a playful smirk plastered on his face.

"how did we- when did you even take your shirt off?"

"are you always this loud in the morning?" he asked, ignoring your questions. his hair was a ruffled mess, slightly puffy face indicating that he hadn't been awake for that long either.

you still looked at him expectingly, waiting for him to answer. he huffed, rolling his eyes "you snuggled with your burning limbs close to me as you slept. i got overwhelmingly hot so i took off my shirt. there- simple as that"

"why didn't you just push me off or something" you asked. it wasn’t typical for him to act like this.

what taehyun said was indeed the truth. he couldn’t stand you- yes, but he wasn’t an asshole. he couldn’t find it in him to wake you up or pry you off him, as he didn’t want to wake up in the morning to you being groggy. therefore, he was left with only one option: enduring it.

pushing your question aside once more, taehyun got up from the bed, stretching as he made his way to the bathroom, he stopped right before getting past the door to speak "did you know you talk in your sleep? you seemed to enjoy it, i didn't want to ruin the fun for you." he snickered, disappearing into the other room.

you stood there with your jaw hanging, unable to form any kind of comeback to argue. was there even a way to recover from that? when you heard the shower running, you took a pillow from the bed, burying your face into it and silently screaming. you wanted to dig a hole for yourself at least 20 meters underground.

after regaining your composure, you got ready so that you and taehyun could get started on today’s task: gathering the necessary weapons and equipment. irene informed you about some namjoon guy they had a contract with. he apparently sold any kind of gear you would ever need for a mission: from smoke bombs to lethal poison- he had it all. you went to the outskirts of the city searching for a shabby cabin (not suspicious at all), the storage hidden away in an underground system there.

“are you sure this is the right place?” you asked taehyun, eyeing the old rusty door. the whole place just screamed ‘murder’, how exactly did your agency even come to find out about the guy? maybe you didn’t want to know.

“the coordinates match up with what irene sent us- so yeah, probably. try not to hold my hand if you’re so scared” he chuckled.

you ignored his childish remark, going past him to open the heavy door. the inside didn’t match up with the exterior, it was surprisingly warm and cozy. a man with purple hair and a black dress shirt was sitting on an armchair, book in hand. you assumed it was namjoon.

“oh- hello?” you didn’t exactly know how to approach him, you felt bad for barging in without even knocking.

his eyes glanced up from the book “ah” he got up “finally, i was worried irene didn’t send you the right location” he flashed you a dimpled smile. for a man who owned over one thousand weapons, you didn’t expect him to be this...cute?

taehyun bit his cheek “so you’re namjoon?”

“yes, and i already know who you two are. come on- follow me”

namjoon lead you towards an elevator, hidden away from curious eyes in a crowded closet. the ride down seemed almost endless, but that’s how it needed to be. if one single gunshot could be heard from the surface, his entire business could risk being destroyed.

“i’ve got a couple of things for you to try, as well as some accessories irene asked me to give you” namjoon put down a box on a table. it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary- laser pen, tracking devices, coat button cameras, the usual. the guns weren’t exactly essential for your mission, they were more of a safety precaution. either way, you still had to practice using them.

getting into the designated practice area, you and taehyun each had a target to hit. you needed at least 5 good shots in a row to be deemed skilled enough for the weapon. taehyun’s first try was perfect, meanwhile yours barely hit the target.

“seems like someone’s rusty”

“beginner’s luck” you mumbled.

giving it another go, you ended up with the same result. the exact thing happened the 3rd try as well. you frowned, it wasn’t usually like this for you, and taehyun’s cocky smirk only made your blood boil further.

“nervous?” he chuckled

“i’m just warming up- i need to get used to it” you got back into your shooting stance, putting your finger on the trigger.

“take your time, darling, hell’s happy to wait for you”

you missed again.

“can you just shut up for one fucking minute?” you huffed. you didn’t want to let taehyun get to you, but even when he didn’t open his mouth to speak you could still hear his voice in your mind, mocking you.

“i can give you something else if you want to-“ namjoon tried to help, not knowing he only angered you further.

“i need him out of sight- not another weapon” you quickly dismissed him “can i get a private practice room?”

“practicing in private won’t fix your lack of talent” you heard taehyun whisper.

if looks could kill, taehyun would be on the floor the second those words left his mouth “if i point this gun towards your direction i’ll make sure that it won’t be a miss” you fumed.

namjoon was clearly taken aback by the tension in the room. desperate to diffuse the situation, he kindly asked taehyun to look around the other areas as you practiced a few more rounds with him.

you felt bad for the guy, he was a victim to yet another one of your fights with taehyun. you kept the rest of your interactions with him short, wanting to get back to the hotel as soon as possible.

“look- i’ll buy you ice cream, will that make it better?” taehyun asked exasperatedly.

“i’m not a fucking child” you snarled. the only thing up until now that taehyun had managed to do successfully was ridiculing you- and you were fed up with it. did he think that some ice cream was going to erase all those embarrassing moments he had been putting you through?

“well what do you want me to do then?” he sighed.

“i don’t know- maybe stop acting like an asshole? like you’re better than me?”

taehyun stopped the car on the side of the road, his hands gripping the steering wheel harder “i’m not acting like an asshole” he turned his head to look at you.

“yes, you are- you did that the whole day and you are doing that right now” you said in utter disbelief. his snarky attitude was tipping you over.

“get out” he spoke firmly, breaking eye contact with you.

“what?”

taehyun didn’t know how much longer he could be with you in the car without losing his temper even more “i said get out” he repeated once again, closing his eyes “go on and find the way to the hotel yourself”

“fine” you scoffed. you grabbed your purse and slammed the car door as hard as you could once you got out of the vehicle. taehyun wasted no time getting back on the road. finally, he could breathe again.

“jerk” you screamed. what a great time to wear heels this was. you made your way to the side walk, shielding your eyes from the sun with your hands as you looked around, trying to recall any familiar surroundings. with every step you took, it felt like your foot was pressed into a hot piece of lego. you had been wearing those damn heels all day, and now the agonising pain was finally starting to kick in.

taehyun couldn’t help but constantly steal glances at you from the rearview mirror, watching as you struggled to walk without your feet wobbling. sighing, he waited until he could take a turn to go back and pick you up. maybe you weren’t the only one that acted like a kid.

getting back to the same spot he just left you at barely 2 minutes ago, taehyun stopped the car. yet you weren’t anywhere to be found. he got out to search the area better- nothing.

“shit” he mumbled under his breath.

taehyun couldn’t stay still as he waited for you to return. of course, he got to the hotel faster because of the car, but what was taking you so long to arrive? the thought of him ruining the mission because of a petty fight was tormenting his mind. he didn’t want to lose his job at the agency because of you. he kept on walking back and forth from the couch to the door, looking through the peephole for any sign of you coming down the hallway. and just as he was about to check again, for probably the 30th time that night, he heard knocking on the door. it was you- it had to be you. after all, the only other room key had remained with him, and there was no way someone else would disturb him at this ungodly hour.

taehyun cleared his voice, erasing any sign of worry on his face before opening the door, apology already on the tip of his tongue.

"y/n, i'm sorry-" taehyun spoke as soon as he saw you in the doorway, reaching his hand out to take your purse.

"fuck off" you spat out, slapping his hand away from you. you went straight to the bathroom and locked the door, not in the mood to hear any of his excuses. you stood with your back against the door, burying your face in your hands. you felt so tired and sick of having to deal with taehyun’s attitude. but you weren't gonna let him be the one to steal the spotlight from your mission- not again.

taehyun sighed heavily in front of the door, putting his hand down from knocking, choosing to simply let you be for a while. you had all the right to be mad, and he knew that.

you took a shower to cool off, refusing to look taehyun in the eyes, or even in his direction at all, as you got ready to go to sleep.

taehyun put his finger on the lamp's button, letting out those words that had been bugging him all night "just so you know- i did go back for you today, but i couldn't find you anymore. maybe that's gonna convince you that i really meant it when i said sorry" taehyun flicked off the light, huffing, pitch black darkness taking over the room.

you stayed silent, with your back turned to him, still too stubborn to accept his apology. 'he just wants to go to bed with a clean conscience' you tried to convince yourself. ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

you were grateful to have woken up with your own personal space, unlike your first night there. taehyun wasn’t even on his side of the bed, the sound of the water running indicating that he had already beat you to the bathroom. you turned over to the side, ready to enjoy those few minutes of peace.

“huh” you brought a hand to your face, feeling something on your forehead. it was a sticky note. you rubbed your eyes, trying to make sense of what was written on the small piece of paper.

‘there’s ice cream in the freezer’

“what...” you mumbled, how did ice cream have anything to do with- oh.

you fought back a chuckle. so, the great taehyun couldn’t find the strength to own up to his actions and say the words ‘sorry’ a second time. still, you accepted his silent apology, going over to the freezer to get your hands on the sweet treat. how could you ever say no to something free?

taehyun got out of the bathroom as you still nibbled on the ice cream sandwich, the steam and heat instantly invading the room. you looked up from the piece of food in your hand, almost dropping it once your eyes laid on him. taehyun sat in the middle of the room, chest and sculpted abs on full display with a few water droplets adoring his skin from his still dripping hair.

“what are you blushing for? it’s not the first time you’re seeing me like this” he smirked.

“idiot- it’s the heat. your shower transformed the room into a whole sauna” you meekly tried to defend yourself, not wanting to give him any satisfaction. you cursed your cheeks for reacting like this well before your mind could even comprehend the situation.

“oh- so you’re talking to me again. i take it you forgive me?” he leaned against the door.

“don’t get ahead of yourself kang taehyun” you scoffed “it’s gonna take more than just an ice cream for me to fully forgive you”

“i know, you did tell me yesterday that ‘you’re not a child’. just thought it might sweeten that sour attitude of yours” he huffed.

“whatever- let me get changed, then we’ll get in touch with irene” you said as you walked over to your suitcase to grab some clean clothes.

“i already talked to her. she said there’s nothing we have to do for the day. we just need to wait for the big event tomorrow.”

“huh- you talked to her? when?” you raised your eyebrows at him. you could swear you hadn’t heard a single sound all morning.

“yeah- while you were busy snoring” he chuckled.

you scoffed at his reply “as if you’re a saint while you’re sleeping” there he went again with his ridiculous accusations.

“well- unlike you, i haven’t received any complaints from others” he winked at you.

“really? then here’s your first one- you’re loud as hell” you slammed the bathroom door. that wink and his cocky grin were enough to bring back the annoyance he always seemed to provoke within you.

taehyun loudly knocked as you were busy brushing your teeth “how long are you gonna stay in there? i have something to ask”

you rolled your eyes, taking the toothbrush out of your mouth to reply “i’ll be out in 5 minutes” you shouted back. you didn’t know whether it was curiosity or fear taking over you from his words.

taehyun was still in front of the door when you opened it to get out.

“wanna take advantage of the activities here? it’s not like we’re paying for any of this- the agency is. plus- we have the day off anyway” taehyun shrugged his shoulders. his proposal didn’t sound bad at all. you could definitely use some sort of relaxation, your whole body was still aching from walking in heels yesterday.

you put your hands over your mouth, gasping exaggeratedly “finally, i can’t believe there’s good ideas coming out of your mouth” you were actually excited for once about one of taehyun’s suggestions. this was your chance to detach yourself from all the stress, the mission, and most importantly- him.

“when do i not have good ideas?” taehyun brought a hand to his chest. he sounded offended by your statement.

“i’m not going to answer that.” you replied shortly.

grabbing your bathrobes from the reception, you and taehyun headed towards the hotel’s spa facility. the area was filled with all sorts of natural plants and bamboo furniture, the meditation music being accompanied by the quiet sound from the mini artificial waterfall in the middle of it all. having such a packed schedule all the time, you never got any opportunities to spoil yourself in places like this. the anticipation and excitement were making your heart bubble up with joy, but your smile quickly dropped once you arrived in the massage room.

“taehyun, why didn’t you mention the hotel activities being couple activities” you hissed. standing in the doorway, you looked in terror at the swarm of lovey dovey pairs sitting on yoga mats in front of you.

“did you think i made the proposal knowing that?” he scoffed.

“well i can’t seem to understand how you overlooked such a major detail??”

“listen- the poster said couple massages. how the hell was i supposed to know that they’re making us do the work for each other? i just thought we’d both get a massage done at the same time”

“you must be the kangs, welcome” the host greeted you “come on, sit down. we were just getting started with a simple shoulder massage” she pointed to the last empty mat in the room, then motioned for you to begin.

taehyun’s eyelids fluttered shut as you awkwardly placed your hands on his shoulders, the material of the robe doing almost nothing to hide the feeling of the rock hard muscles underneath. you grimaced as you pressed your fingers down, trying to reminisce the movements you’d use while preparing pizza dough.

“you’re doing it wrong” he deadpanned, opening his eyes to make direct eye contact with you.

“shut the hell up”

you didn’t know what you were doing- yes. but were you going to admit that to taehyun? absolutely not. rolling your eyes, you continued to clumsily massage the tense muscles.

“i can’t feel a goddamn thing” he complained again.

“how about now?” you pinched his skin between your thumb and your index finger, using as much pressure as you could. taehyun’s face distorted in pain as he crumbled beneath you “for fuck’s sake-“ he grabbed your wrists, stopping you from provoking him even more suffering “how are you so bad at this?”

frustrated, you moved your hands away from his body “if you think you’re that great, why don’t you give it a shot?”

“i will give it a shot” he snarled.

the host approached the two of you just as taehyun placed his hands on you “what a lovely couple” she smiled. nudging taehyun, she whispered one more thing before walking away “remember, use your hands gently, like you’re touching the most delicate petal”

taehyun’s ears turned a bright shade of red at the sound of that. he bit his lip so hard trying not to laugh at her words, you were surprised he didn’t end up drawing blood.

“close your eyes, petal” he snickered.

you snorted at the nickname, doing as he said regardless. taehyun’s hands were surprisingly warm. he did his best mimicking the actions from the couples around you, his long slender fingers massaging your muscles with such care, you could feel all the built-up tension melting away.

“wait- this is kinda nice” you spoke quietly.

“told you so”

you hoped taehyun wouldn’t catch that, but of course, he did. you opened one eye, tempted to wipe that cocky smirk off his face. getting ahold of yourself, you chose not to, you never knew when taehyun would treat you this nicely again. you sighed, allowing yourself to enjoy the feeling. this was the least he could do to pay you back for all the headaches he had caused you so far throughout the mission.

you did make a few other attempts to give taehyun a massage, but even with the host’s instructions, he was never satisfied. in the end, he gave up, preferring to do all the work himself instead of letting you touch him again. he probably left the spa room feeling more tense than when he had arrived, the only thing bringing him some sort of consolation being the free bottle of wine at the end of the lesson- which he opened as soon as you came back to your hotel room.

after getting changed, you sat down next to taehyun on the bed, noticing only one wine filled glass on the table “aren’t you gonna share that?”

“after all the pain i’ve went through today? don’t think so” he replied before taking a sip of the crimson beverage.

“don’t be a jerk” you snapped back “i tried my best”

taehyun sighed heavily, grabbing the other clean glass in the room to pour you some of the wine. you muttered a quick ‘thanks’ before taking it from his hands, downing the liquid almost immediately.

“what the fuck are you doing” he grabbed your wrist “take it easy- our mission is tomorrow, i don’t think you want to wake up with a headache” there was a hint of worry hidden in his stern voice.

“a bit more won’t hurt- i just want to sleep well tonight” you replied. your hand was already reaching for the bottle to pour another one. taehyun simply rolled his eyes, hoping that you’d stop after the seccond glass. yet- you repeated your actions, downing the glass and going for the bottle right after. this time, taehyun snatched it away from your hands and hid it behind the bed.

“don’t ruin the fun-“ you furrowed your brows “just give me the bottle”

you stood up, towering over taehyun as you extended your arm. he wasn’t expecting you to put up such a fight, but his reflexes were sharp- he took hold of your arm quickly, making you lose your balance and stumble over him. his hand came down to your waist to hold you as you landed in his lap, not allowing you to slip away anymore. you looked at him with wide eyes, your loud heartbeat drumming against his chest. “don’t make me repeat myself” he muttered.

“or what?” you provoked him further. your eyes shifted their focus on his lips, sitting centimeters apart from yours. you had never paid attention before to how soft they looked- so soft and rosy, your mind couldn’t help but wander off and think about how they would feel on yours. taehyun seemed to become nervous underneath your gaze, his breathing became ragged, hand gripping your waist slightly tighter. he licked his lips before moving his face closer to yours, yet still not enough to fully close the gap. your eyelids fluttered shut, and he smirked at your action, his thumb coming to graze your lower lip slowly.

“or you might just make me lose myself completely” he breathed out. his gaze was still fixated on your lips, only tempting him further to give in, to let go of everything that had been holding him back until now from accepting that it wasn’t hatred he felt upon seeing you, or even hearing your name. he had been convinced that you hating him meant that he was supposed to feel the same, but he couldn’t- and he could barely even fake it anymore. especially now, when you somehow managed to completely break down his guard in mere seconds. thinking this through, taehyun chose to back away. he didn’t have the confirmation whether it was your actual feelings leading your actions, or just the alcohol in your system.

he cleared his throat, removing his hands from your body and putting that usual cold façade back on “like i’ve said, our mission is tomorrow. you should probably go to bed” his eyes didn’t meet yours when you opened them to look at him again.

your gaze shifted to the floor, you were unable to hide the underlying disappointment in your voice “yeah- you’re right”. you hesitated a bit before finally separating yourself from him, the warmth of his body gone just as the excitement that was beginning to take over your heart. you put your head down on the pillow, the sound of more wine getting poured in a glass being heard as you closed your eyes and drifted off to sleep.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・ "your tie is lopsided, let me fix that" you walked over to taehyun. there was just one hour left until the event started. the atmosphere in the room was suffocating, to say the least.

taehyun scoffed upon hearing that "i can definitely do a better job than you" yet, he didn't make any movement to stop you from touching him or his clothes “everything is just a competition for you… isn’t it?” you said bitterly, your eyes were fixated on his chest, his tie in your hand.

“isn’t it for you, too?” taehyun asked. he immediately regretted his question, the words seemed to roll off his tongue as an automatic response. he peered into your eyes, although he was hesitant to hear your answer. you paused for a moment before continuing, refusing to look up and meet his gaze "maybe i don't want it to be anymore"

you went back to the mirror, trying to look busy as you "fixed" your makeup, although you had already ensured it was perfect with each step you did.

taehyun didn't say anything to that. it wasn't the time he could let himself be swayed by his emotions. you were both at the peak of your mission, where high attention was demanded and no mistakes were allowed to be made. he cleared his throat before speaking, trying to change the conversation from the sensitive topic "you look good" "thanks" you looked down, playing a bit more with the lipstick in your hand before stuffing it in your purse "we should go" "yeah- we should" he repeated after you, grabbing the spare card for your hotel room.

the entire venue was filled with well-known people from the political field, as well as celebrities. the event had been long planned to celebrate the president’s birthday. however, he started to have a rising suspicion that someone was after him, wanting to backstab him so that they could steal his position, which is how you got into the play. your team was able to pinpoint the enemy’s plan of action due to their sloppy preparation. they talked freely around Élysée Palace about their intention, completely unaware of the mics hidden all around the building. they were going to infiltrate the office and place a bomb there, wiping out the president without putting themselves at much risk.

being nervous was an understatement. it’s been long since you’ve been assigned such an important mission- way too long. the fact that you didn’t know whether you were going to make direct contact with the enemy didn’t help either.

taehyun seemed to be glued to your side, not letting you go once. he held you by the waist the whole time you were walking around, searching for your table. his eyes were trained on you, not allowing the disgusting rich men in the room to think that they can lay a finger on you, not even for one second.

“why do you keep on holding me so close?” you wondered aloud.

“we need to act like a couple- did you forget that again?”

“that doesn’t mean i’m not allowed to walk on my own” you said trying to break yourself free yourself from his grip. but taehyun stopped you before you could fully do so, he grabbed your wrist, bringing your back flushed against his chest. he dipped down to whisper in your ear “sweetheart, let’s not make a scene now- shall we?” he twirled you around, swaying your body to the rhythm of the music to disguise your actions as natural.

“now- let’s discuss. when do you want to put our plan into action?” he leaned down to whisper once again. his voice sent shivers down your spine.

“not yet- we haven’t been here for long and leaving so early would raise suspicion” you muttered.

“then- how about a drink?” taehyun brought you closer, not breaking eye contact with you.

you nodded “a drink sounds good” just like the ‘massage’, there was no way you could turn down something you didn’t have to pay for yourself.

taehyun spun you around once more before heading off to the bar. you continued the search for your table, settling down on one of the chairs as you waited for him.

“what is a princess like you doing all alone?” a sleazy man approached you, reeking of sweat and alcohol. your senses were instantly on high alert, you were praying that taehyun wouldn’t take much longer to return.

“i’m not alone- i’m just waiting for someone” you tried to dismiss him, hoping that he would walk away and leave you alone. but a man’s confidence seems to skyrocket when they drink, so of course, he didn’t back down so easily.

“say, why won’t you have a drink with me while you wait?” his hand was in motion, inching closer to touch your shoulder. it abruptly stopped upon hearing a voice from behind him.

“i’m afraid i’ve already taken care of that, sir” taehyun settled down the drinks on the table before occupying the empty chair next to you. he noticed from far away how uncomfortable you looked and he rushed to get back to you, almost spilling the drinks in the process.

he placed one of his hands on your knee, trying to give the man a subtle hint that he should give up and leave you alone.

“i’m sure one more drink wouldn’t hurt? right, miss?” he continued.

taehyun clicked his tongue, increasingly annoyed by his presence “i’m pretty sure it would, though”

the man’s smile was wiped off his face as soon as taehyun said that, his hand gripped his bottle of beer tighter “why won’t you let her answer, hm?”

you were unsure what to do- you wanted to get rid of him, but you didn’t want to anger him further either. you weren’t supposed to draw any kind of attention towards yourselves, if this were to turn into a big argument, it could damage your mission badly. taehyun’s hand on your knee felt reassuring. at the same time, it made your heart skip a beat whenever he gave it a light squeeze.

“what if i search for you once i finish this first, would that be good?” you did your best fake smile, so that he wouldn’t see directly through your lie. somehow, that answer was good enough for him. he nodded, smiled, then walked away.

taehyun slumped into the chair, taking a sip of the cognac he ordered.

“thank you” you spoke softly “you came just at the right moment”

taehyun’s ears turned red at that “now maybe you understand why i wasn’t letting you go before” he played with the glass in his hand. you bit your lip and nodded, taking a sip of the drink yourself. taehyun had good taste.

you both settled for analysing your surroundings as you drank, making small remarks here and there about the people around you. however, once your glasses were empty, taehyun could already notice the same man approaching your table again. he got up abruptly, taking your wrist and tugging you along with him.

“hey- what’s gotten into you?” you asked. you couldn’t figure out the expression he had on his face, nor his actions. taehyun loudly knocked on the bathroom door. upon hearing no answer, he dragged you in, locking the door after him “weren’t you the one saying that we shouldn’t make a scene?”

“and what was i supposed to do? sit there and watch as he tried to touch you again?” he huffed.

“why are you acting like this? maybe i wouldn’t have minded having a drink with another man” you provoked him further. that wasn’t actually the case- the quick lie slipped past your lips in the heat of the moment, as you were curious to see where he was going to end up with this.

"oh really?" taehyun pressed his tongue against his cheek, crossing his arms. he took a step closer towards you, to which, at first, you chose not to react.

"yes, really."

you tried to sound confident as you talked, but taehyun took note of your pursed lips “you know, lying doesn't suit you, sweetheart." he took another step towards you then another- until you had no choice but to take a few steps back yourself, not stopping until your back hit the wall.

“you know what? i don’t get you-“ you snapped “and i’m tired of trying to figure you out” you pressed a finger to his chest, letting out all those pent-up frustrations that had been tormenting you for the past few days “you keep on giving me these mixed signals- your actions never seem to match your words. how do you even think i felt today? or after last night? do you even care about that?”

you chuckled drily as taehyun remained silent. “why won’t you just give me a clear answer?” your gaze dropped to the floor "if you had the guts, kang taehyun, you would have kissed me"

taehyun's eyes looked sharp, he inched closer to you, bringing your chin up with his hand so that he could look directly into your eyes "you think something is stopping me from doing that right now?" he tilted his head and smirked, slight amusement hidden in his voice.

"then do it" you said firmly, pushing him over the edge.

taehyun slipped his other hand on the small of your back, holding you close so that he could press his mouth on yours, hot and heavy. he wasted no time to lick your lips with his tongue, silently asking for permission to deepen the kiss. you opened your mouth for him, the feeling of his lips and tongue even more intoxicating than the alcohol that you had consumed earlier that night. he lifted one of your legs up, letting his fingers dance along the bare skin that was revealed once your dress slid up with the movement. your body felt hot all over, you hadn't even known how badly you were craving for his touch until you got to experience it. you clasped your hands behind his neck, then dragged them along his back, slightly scratching it with your nails. taehyun groaned at the feeling, hoisting your other leg up as well so that you could wrap them both around his waist. he moved on to your neck, biting at the skin in a slightly hidden area. it was just enough to remind that man and all those other people lurking after you tonight that you were only his. he carried you over to the sink, putting you on the edge of the counter there so that he could have better access to your neck.

there was knocking on the door, followed by the rattling of the doorknob.

"tae-"

taehyun put his index finger over your lips, shushing you as he covered you whole in kisses: your neck, your collarbones, your chest, all the way down to the valley of your breasts, the area exposed by the cleavage of your dress.

"they'll leave" he spoke against your skin.

the image of a ticking clock crossing your mind every now and then filled you with worry and pressure "we should leave too-" taehyun pressed his finger over your lips once more.

"tae-" you breathed out again "-the mission"

"just a bit more” he whispered “there's still time" he looked up at you, those big eyes of his, filled to the brim with desire, pleaded you to let him continue. you grabbed the collar of his shirt, connecting your lips with his again. you sighed in contentment, letting him take control over the kiss. soft gasps and wet lips, his warm mouth on your skin- you got lost into it all, not caring for one second whether your hair or your dress were turning into a mess.

you could barely bring yourself to stop, and when you did, it felt like your cheeks had been set on fire. you hid your face in the crook of taehyun’s neck, breathing heavily against his skin as your brain finally processed what had just happened between the two of you.

you kissed kang taehyun

no-

you made out- with kang taehyun

and you enjoyed it.

in fact, you enjoyed it so much you seriously contemplated ditching the event just to feel his lips on yours for a few moments more.

the rational part of you was stronger “come on- we have a mission to complete” you pressed a quick peck on taehyun’s lips. he smiled, taking his time to fix your appearance before holding your hand and reaching for the door.

“let’s do it” he breathed out.

you sneaked past the security guards and reached the hallway towards the office. you wished you could have collaborated with them, but there was no way you could have known whether the person betraying the president was one of them or not, and you didn’t feel like risking your cover.

your hand reached towards the doorknob, wanting to check whether the door was locked or not. taehyun spoke right before you touched it.

“don’t- it’s dangerous, the bomb could be on the door”

you slowly retracted your hand. you didn’t think this through, and quickly jumped into action. taehyun was right, and you had to find a way to test his theory right before making another attempt at getting in.

you used some of the gadgets irene bought for you, making a small hole inside the wall and pushing through an extendable stick with a camera to look inside.

bingo.

the bomb was placed flushed against the door. had taehyun not stopped you before, you would have both been dead in an instant.

“seems like we’ll have to find another way in” you muttered.

taehyun eyed the outside window “how are your wall climbing skills?”

“not bad at all” you offered to go first, it was probably your best shot for now.

the distance between this window and the one in the office wasn’t that long either, you were just hoping that there weren’t any curious eyes looking up at the building from the garden.

melting away the lock on the window, you succeeded to get in. taehyun followed right after you, jumping inside. the bomb didn’t have a timer on it, the wire connected to the doorknob was what would made it go off. you had to give this one to them, it was pretty smart- this way, they ensured that they had less chances of missing their target.

“any updates?” irene’s voice was heard from your ear piece.

“yeah- we’re in. the enemy’s plan isn’t so bad after all, they just organised it poorly”

“that’s great- but you need to hurry up. you don’t have much time until the guy checking the security cameras alerts the other guards”

“got it” you replied

“so no pressure at all” taehyun laughed as he searched for the necessary tools. the bomb wasn’t unlike anything else you’ve seen before. the only thing you needed to do was follow the procedure carefully, so as not to miss any steps.

taehyun took it upon himself to do it, even though you were both in just as much danger anyway. you helped him out as much as you could, reassuring him that he followed all the steps in the right order and giving him new tools whenever he needed to switch.

“shit-“ you could hear heavy footsteps going up the stairs “they’re onto us, you need to hurry”

“hang on- i’m almost done” taehyun tried his best to remain calm, he couldn’t have his hands trembling at this very moment.

“you either show yourselves, or we’ll have no choice but to barge in” a male voice shouted from behind the door. they were definitely not alone.

“2 more wires” he whispered.

you were growing impatient, but you bit your tongue trying to remain silent, taehyun had to remain concentrated.

“we’ll take your silence as an answer” the man shouted again before starting a countdown.

3, 2, 1-

the door was busted down from its shackles.

the guards remained silent as they were met with...an empty room?

you and taehyun barely managed to make it out on time, and you were now holding your breath as you clung onto the outside wall again. you entered the building through another window from the floor beneath you before they had a chance to inspect the area and potentially see you.

after making sure you were in a safe zone, you reached out to irene again: “we’re done here- we’ll send you that fucker’s fingerprints”

“excellent”

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

taehyun called the reception as you were taking a cab back to the hotel. he requested 2 bottles of wine for you to drink as a form of celebration. you couldn’t wait to lie down and drink to your heart’s content.

so now- here you were, you sitting in taehyun’s lap as he tried his best not to laugh in your face at your drunken words and actions. it seemed like you couldn’t handle alcohol that well when you were exhausted.

“can you kiss me again?” you asked quietly, closing your eyes before you could even notice his reaction. taehyun was taken aback by your sudden proposal, but nevertheless, fondness took over his eyes in an instant. he cupped your cheeks, bringing your face closer to him until your noses were touching. then, he opted for pressing a soft kiss on the corner of your lips, to which you opened your eyes, cheeks burning at the small gesture. “god- you’re making me go crazy” he spoke softly against your lips. his hand took hold of your wrist, leaving a tender kiss on your pulse point “let’s get you to bed”

you shook your head, dipping your head down to bury your face in his chest as you hugged him tightly. silence filled up the room for a moment before you finally spoke again “maybe it was supposed to be like this from the beginning.” your voice was slightly muffled as you refused to move away from your spot. taehyun ran his hands through your hair “…like what?”

“i don’t know. maybe we were never supposed to hate each other" those words rolled off your tongue softly, your eyes getting heavier with each passing second.

taehyun tucked a few strands behind your ear. your words tugged at his heart, and it was like something clicked for the both of you as you voiced out your drunken thoughts. it was stupid-so stupid. all this time, you had both been too caught up in the high created by all the praises and achievements. you were taught to eliminate any kind of obstacle that came your way whenever you set a goal, you forgot to look at each other as just...humans. sure, the pride that bloomed in your chest whenever you successfully cleared yet another mission felt good, but has that ever felt as good as taehyun's touch? his lips on yours, rough hands enveloping yours as a silent sign of care and reassurance, arms circling your waist to keep you close, to keep you safe. you never paid much attention to human relationships, and perhaps that was the reason why, once you stepped foot into your empty apartment, once the cheers died down, you had never felt truly satisfied with your life.

hearing the sound of light snores coming from beneath him, taehyun looked down to find you already fast asleep in his lap. “cute” he chuckled, secretly taking out his phone for a pic, the corners of his mouth turning up at the thought of teasing you about it tomorrow. he slowly detangled your hand that was holding on to his shirt tightly, then lifted you up to carry you over to your side of the bed. he frowned upon noticing that you never had the chance to take off your dress. diverting his eyes as much as he could, taehyun took it off for you, blushing as he slid one of his shirts over your head. he didn't want to invade your privacy, he just wished you could rest comfortably after experiencing such a draining day.

“sleep well, y/n” taehyun pressed a kiss against your temple before getting underneath the covers himself. he sighed in contentment as he brought himself closer to you, your soft rhythmic breaths and warm body putting his own at ease.

taglist: @huekalover3000

#wave2tyun #txt #txt fluff #txt x reader #txt fic #txt imagines #txt scenarios #txt smau #txt headcanons #txt taehyun #taehyun fluff #taehyun scenarios #taehyun fic #taehyun x reader #taehyun imagines #taehyun headcanons

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jenwritesstuff · 7 months

Text

Jealousy

Summary: You and Noah have been going out for more than a year and he’s possessive, but not jealous. You want to see how much he can take before actually getting jealous. Be careful what you wish for.

(P.S there's smut)

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“Is it normal that my boyfriend just never gets jealous?” You ask as you mindlessly sip on your coffee.

Your friends, Ellie and Olivia looked at each other, both wondering what the hell you’re on about this time.

“Just because he doesn’t get jealous doesn’t mean he loves you less. Maybe he’s just secure in the relationship and he trusts you. That’s pretty reassuring if you ask me.” Olivia decided to speak up when she saw you chewing onto your straw.

“Yeah… but he got jealous around his exes. I just want to know what it’s like to see him jealous. It could be so hot. Or cute. Or both.” You decided to imagine a scenario where you make your boyfriend, Noah jealous.

He could be the rough type; tearing you away from whoever was trying to get too close to you. Or he could be the pouty type; he’ll sulk and ask if you prefer the attention from another man apart from his.

Alas, you were about to find out that night that it was definitely not the latter.

And of course, you didn’t mind it one bit.

Later that same night, you guys were headed to a housewarming party of a mutual friend. Most of them were band members and you were familiar since you’ve been on tour with Noah for the past year. You were heavily involved in some of the events that they’ve played at considering it was part of your job so you were always around one another. It didn’t cross your mind that your ex might be there. Your ex, who happened to be in another band, was also invited to said housewarming party.

As both you and Noah were making the way to the venue, you heard him talk for the first time in hours. You brushed it off as him being stressed out with work because he tends to do that. He tends to shut off from the world when he’s too immersed in his work.

“Do you think he’ll be there?” he asks.

“Who?”

“Tim.”

“Oh.”

There was silence for a bit. Finally, you decided to break the silence because it was a stupid question to be pondering so long about.

“Yeah, he might. I don’t know exactly who’s gonna be there.”

“Right. Of course you wouldn’t know.”

“And what the hell is that supposed to mean?” Noah had said it with so much sass it caught you off guard. It offended you nonetheless.

“Nothing.” He mumbled in response.

You rolled your eyes and looked out the window as he continued driving.

Wait.

Is he… jealous?

You turned your head so quick you could’ve strained it but you looked at him with gleaming eyes. He gave you the side eye because he had to focus on the road but he quirked an eyebrow and asked, “What?”

“Are you jealous?” you asked, almost too excited.

“Why would I be?” He replied, trying to remain cool.

“Because you think Tim might be there. Are you jealous?” You couldn’t contain your smile.

“No, of course not. Don’t get any weird ideas. I was simply asking.” He said as he parked the car.

He turned to look at you and grabbed your face so that your faces were inches apart.

“No funny business. No playing, no tricks, understand baby?”

It wasn’t a question.

You nodded your head because you love this side of Noah; all dominant and in control.

Unfortunately for him, you were a brat. Of course you are.

You practically skipped towards the house before ringing the doorbell, gift in hand.

When the doors opened, you could already see a crowd inside. You hugged your friend and congratulated them on their new home. As you walked in, you beelined straight to the food table. Noah was busy looking for his friends to catch up with and you were hungry and couldn’t think of anything else. That’s when you came face to face with none other than your ex of 5 years, Tim.

“Hey.” He looked up at you and smiled.

“Hey there.” You answered and there was a heavy beat of awkwardness hanging in the air.

It has been over 3 years since the breakup but you’ve never actively looked him up or tried to remain in contact. It was a clean, mutual break up but getting over someone you’ve been in love with for 5 years was still tough.

“So… samosa dipped in mayo? Some things just don’t change.” He looked over at your plate and chuckled.

“Hey, good food is good food. Don’t yuck my yum.” You said and picked up more samosas which earned another low chuckle.

Tim was following behind you, taking more food as you guys walked down the buffet line. When you were done, you found a corner with a few chairs and sat down to eat. You didn’t realize that Tim had followed you and sat down next to you.

“Soooooo how’ve you been?” He asks as you looked up at him with a mouth full of food.

You chewed and swallowed before answering, “Everything’s going great so far. How about you?”

“I’m good. I moved into a new home myself. How’s you and Noah?”

“We’re good as always. Been busy with tour stuff and work lately but other than that, everything has been great.” You scanned the room to find your tall lanky boyfriend only to find him sitting at the living room, talking to his friends but his eyes were dead set on you.

You smiled and turned your full attention to the man beside you.

You made some small talk and laughed at some of the not so funny jokes he cracked. This went on for only half an hour before you felt a tall presence right in front of you. You looked up and smiled at the love of your life who seems to be smiling too but you knew otherwise.

“Having a great chat?” He asks.

“Yeah! We were just catching up on life. How’s your friends?” you asked, as if you didn’t know what was going on.

Tim stood up, “Well, looks like things are going well. Let’s catch up again sometime. See you guys around.”

He smiled at both you and Noah before walking away. You watched as Noah gave one of the most forced smile to ever exist. Noah slowly turned his head to look down at you, who was sitting and trying to get another bite of your food when you realized he was actually pissed.

“What was so funny that you didn’t notice me walking over?” He asked, still looking down at you.

“Nothing. We were talking about Lucy, his family’s dog. She’s still as sassy as ever. I miss her.”

You knew what you were doing. You wanted to see how much he could take. Jealousy looked pretty hot on him if you were being honest.

“You miss her? So are you going to visit her? Visit his family? Laugh like the good ol’ days?”

You looked up at him with wide eyes. You set aside your food and stood up in front of him, chests touching.

“And what if I do?”

He smirked and grabbed your arm, pulling you closer than humanely possible.

“Then I’ll make it so that you won’t be able to even walk.”

You felt shivers down your spine as he pulled you out of the room to go upstairs. Well the both of you were planning on staying over in case Noah had one drink too many but not even an hour into the party and he was already dragging you into one of the guest bedrooms. The moment the door closed behind the both of you, you found yourself pinned against the door.

Noah had placed his thigh right between your legs as he grabbed your face to look at him.

“You like pissing me off?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You replied, feigning ignorance.

“You knew what you were doing baby. Do you miss him?”

As he asked his other hand was working its way up from your hips to your waist, stopping right below your breast.

“Of course I don’t baby. It’s been years. And I have you.” You shamelessly tried to shift your lower half to grind against his thigh.

He glanced downwards and looked at you with a smirk.

“What a slut. You’re enjoying this aren’t you?” his hand shifted from your face to your neck, grabbing it and jerking you forward.

His mouth was already on yours before you even got the chance to answer.

“You shouldn’t have done that baby.”

Shivers ran down your spine before he pinched your already hard peaks through your dress. You jerked at the pain that was mixed with pleasure, grabbing onto his shoulders and grinding your already soaking cunt against his thigh.

You weren’t given a chance to form a coherent sentence before he dipped a hand between your legs.

“You’re soaking wet baby. Just the way I like it.” He whispered into your ear before reaching for your neck and biting.

You let out a yelp and started melting into his touch. His lips met yours before he bit down on your bottom lip.

“I want him to hear your screams.”

Your hips bucked as you felt his thumb on your already swollen clit.

“Let him know who you belong to baby. Scream my fucking name.”

You moaned as he drove two of his long fingers into your cunt.

“You’re mine. You’ve come on my face and hand. You’re always on my mind. You drive me fucking insane most days.”

You couldn’t comprehend anything that was happening before he carried you onto the bed before throwing you on it. Right before you could look up he had already slammed himself into you. You cried out his name. You didn’t realize how wet you were because Noah slid into you with no resistance. The sensation was so sudden you clenched around him without thinking.

“Relax baby. You can take me.” He hissed and didn’t move until you could acclimate to his size.

Once your whimpers of discomfort faded, he grabbed onto your hips with force you knew you would bruise the next morning. You felt Noah pull out and flipped you so that you were on your knees. He rammed into you again, making you cry out. You felt him much deeper in this position and your knees almost bucked if he didn’t hold you up. He thrusted into you ruthlessly and grabbed onto your ass and gave it occasional smacks that would leave red handprints.

Your eyes had rolled back and you were starting to forget your name before he grabbed your neck so that you were up right against his chest.

“Do you enjoy making me jealous baby?”

“I- I’m sorry!” You screamed as one of his hands reached out for your clit and started rubbing.

You were so close to coming it was driving you insane. You felt your orgasm build up as you let out a strangled scream. Your legs were shaking and eyes were rolling back but you couldn’t fall because he was holding you up by your neck.

“Look at me.” He commanded as you opened your eyes to look at him.

He placed his hand in front of your face.

“Look at the mess you’ve made. Open your mouth.”

You obliged and opened your mouth before he stuck his fingers that were coated with your juices into your mouth. You were supposed to feel disgusted but you were so turned on you started sucking on his fingers like an animal starved.

His grip on your neck tightened before his teeth scored marks on your shoulder. He pushed your head down onto the mattress before fucking you with so much intensity you knew he meant it when he told you you wouldn't be able to walk the next day.

Nothing you said made sense and you were a moaning mess. You didn’t care if anyone below could hear your cries and moans anymore. If anything, that turned you on even more.

“You like this? Me destroying this pretty little cunt of yours while you make a mess of my cock?”

You couldn’t respond with anything other than a strangled noise.

“I’m the only one who can make you like this. Remember that.” He said as he grabbed both your arms and started thrusting erratically.

“I’m gonna cum in your mouth. Don’t spill a single drop baby.”

He pulled out before flipping you over so you were laying on your back. You watched as he stroked himself a little more before forcing his whole cock into your mouth. You gagged at the sudden intrusion but relaxed as you felt his hot cum shoot down your throat. He was moaning and thrusting a little as he came inside your mouth. He sighed as he looked down at you and stroked your hollowed cheeks.

“So pretty with my cock in your mouth like this.” He said as he pulled out.

He held you there and tapped your cheek.

“Show me your mouth.”

You opened your mouth, sticking your tongue out showing him that you swallowed every single drop of his bitter cum.

“That’s my good girl. Now, do you want to make me jealous again?”

You smiled up at Noah sweetly.

“Maybe?”

----------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: I don't know how this works. Didn't proofread either. Anyways, hope you enjoyed. (I'm rusty)

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian fic #noah sebastian smut #noah sebastian x reader

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good-soupmens · 9 months

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Apply this to Aziraphale how you will, but as an autistic person, I REALLY fell for Metatron's kind old man act. I didn't notice the subtle manipulation, like giving Aziraphale coffee and saying "I've ingested things in my time" to show that he's different from the food-hating, earth-hating angels. I didn't notice him taking on Aziraphale's speech mannerisms before turning away and scowling. It was only after reading meta and rewatching twice that I was like WOAH I didn't even see that.

I can see that heaven's system is screwed up, but I literally thought "Metatron's not like the other angels." I trusted his kindness, especially given that he wanted Aziraphale to run heaven, obviously the best angel for the job. I didn't consider that he wanted to appoint him because he knows Aziraphale is powerful and has stopped heaven and hell before.

I was right along with Aziraphale when all of this went down, agreeing with him when he didn't want the job ("where would I get my coffee?") and then seeing the appeal when Metatron said he could run heaven from earth WITH Crowley. They get to keep living the life they carved out for each other AND Aziraphale can fix the corruption in heaven? I love seeing kind-hearted characters fixing broken things, and I wanted him to fix the system.

As for Crowley becoming an angel again, I didn't really think of it as changing him. He's just Crowley, and he'd keep being Crowley. He's good already. I saw it as heaven offering to right their wrong because he never deserved to fall in the first place, and they wouldn't let someone they believed is evil back in, right? I trusted their judgment of Aziraphale and Crowley. I didn't consider that of COURSE Crowley wouldn't want to go back there. Why would he??

So when Aziraphale finally told him about the offer, I was hoping he would agree. It's important, they could change things! Metatron is claiming to give Aziraphale the reins. Crowley and Aziraphale for once are allowed to be together, and Aziraphale was so ready to not hold back in their relationship. There'd be no reason to deny it or go slow, it's obvious that their love is mutual.

It wasn't a surprise that Crowley said no, and deep down, Aziraphale knew why, but he didn't understand. Crowley and Aziraphale weren't seeing how the other saw it (that Aziraphale WANTS to be together. He wants to make heaven a better place, but Crowley believes it'll never happen, and heaven means to manipulate him). They truly would be the perfect team if they were in charge.

But the problem: that's not what Metatron or heaven intends. "Give me coffee or give me death" meant that if Aziraphale didn't accept the offer, he would've been destroyed. Metatron knew he'd accept, and based on the glare he gave Crowley, I don't think Crowley was ever really in his plan. Metatron will try to use Aziraphale and his power to end the world, and he has no idea he's a pawn. He fell for Metatron's apparent kindness and got swept away with the idea that he and Crowley wouldn't have to hide.

It's heartbreaking because I AM frustrated with Aziraphale, but I know why he chose heaven. There's trauma underlying his actions as well, and he didn't need MAGIC coffee (sorry, I'm mean about coffee theory) to fall hook, line, and sinker for what Metatron was selling. He loves Crowley so much, but if his plans to change heaven worked, he'd be saving the entire world from destruction.

People are still like "NO NO NO, how could he leave Crowley? He must've been hypnotized" when he is putting the WORLD first. That's not to say he won't regret it immediately, miss Crowley the entire time, or even change his mind, but it all happened so fast, and Crowley seemingly gave out on him. He refused, said "good luck", and started to leave. They didn't communicate with each other. I don't think Aziraphale was leaving him forever, but he thought "I HAVE to do this". Crowley is right, but Aziraphale can't see it another way.

Now he has to try his best to change heaven. In the end, he'll see the mistake he made and owe an apology to Crowley, but he has to figure it out on his own. After it's all said and done, it could be the last time they hold back from each other. Going through an angst arc of THIS magnitude would be worth it, and Neil Gaiman is a genius

#aziraphale apologist #good omens meta #autistic aziraphale #good omens #ineffable husbands #crowley #good omens season 2 #aziraphale #aziracrow #good omens spoilers #metatron good omens #coffee theory #Aziraphale meta #good omens theory #good omens finale #aziraphale kin

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lovesickfoolwp · 2 years

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emails i can't send — conrad fisher

pairing : conrad fisher x fem!reader

summary : after being apart for so long, your dad comes to the fourth of july party in cousins beach being convinced by your mother. everything turns into a complete shit show and you end it up crying into conrad's arms.

word count : 2k

while you, belly and jeremiah were trying to follow victoria's recipe for making pomegranate margaritas, with a twist added by belly, conrad entered the room. seeing the enthusiasm on your faces, he also wanted to participate, coming up with the idea of using the better blender.

while you were remembering the time when belly and jeremiah, led by you, made a whole mess a few years ago trying to make some drinks for yourselves, a unpleasant surprise appeared in the kitchen.

"y/n?" your dad's voice, which you could have sworn you've forgot over the years, was heard from behind you.

your smile gradually disappeared and your lifelong friends were watching you intently, ready to intervene if you needed any kind of help.

you turned, slowly, on your heel toward him, swallowing hard when you realized that not much had changed in his appearance. probably just the white hair and a few wrinkles. otherwise, it was just like you remembered him and you hated that.

"dad?" you replied, using the word you hadn't used in years. more precisely, since he failed to be the person you would've looked up to.

he had the audacity to approach you and to try to hug into his arms, but conrad stopped him. extending his arm in front of you, thus blocking his access.

your father shot him a threatening look, and before he could say anything, your mother appeared in the room through the back door. seeing the look on your face and how everyone was tense, she realized that maybe this was not her best choice.

"well," she approached you and put her hand on your shoulder to draw your attention, smiling sincerely with regret. "sorry, sweetie, for not telling you earlier about this. now i notice that a mistake may have been made."

"how is this a mistake?" your father asked her, but everyone ignored him.

"you should have asked my opinion first, mom."

this was probably the first time you were really disappointed in her.

"y/n," your father tried to come to you again, but conrad's hand was in the same place. "can we talk a little?"

conrad's eyes turned to you, but instead he met your mother's gaze, which beckoned him to withdraw.

"please, y/n, let me explain!" he insisted when conrad withdrew his hand, but you continued to stay silent.

you gave up, sighing, and accepted. everyone in the room, especially conrad, were asking you if you were sure. you weren't. but, for the sake of your mother, you were at least able to listen to him.

so you went to your room to have total peace. you were sitting on your bed, and your father was standing in front of you.

"i don't understand, y/n, why you let what happened between you and your mother affect our relationship. we were so close before, and now you don't answer my phone either. i'm not even mentioning that you don't want to visit me."

"because it affects me too!"

he snorted in disbelief.

"how could it affect you if the divorce was by mutual agreement?"

you fake laughed and put your head in the hands you were now resting on your knees. "mutual agreement? is that what it's called now when you're cheating on your wife?" you said more for yourself, but he heard you.

"do you hear yourself?" he asked reproachfully.

"yeah, actually, i really do." you answered and looked up again, even if the eye contact grinded all your thinking. you could no longer look him in the eye. "it would have been a step forward if you had even acknowledged what you did. you cheated on my mother and destroyed my all of my trust in you. i can't forgive you as easily as she did."

tears began to appear in the corner of your eye, and he noticed this and sat down next to you, making the bear minimum to keep a considerable distance between you two.

"how this has affected you, y/n?"

he asked you and this time you felt a trace of sincere curiosity in his voice.

"i can't trust the boys anymore, dad. i can't love a boy without making thousands of negative thoughts when he doesn't respond immediately to my text." you sighed and thinking about conrad, you continued. "i know that he's a good person, but i can't get out of my head the idea that one day he might hurt me as much as you hurt mom. you gave me trust issues and you destroyed my expectations of a relationship."

he listened to every word you said, memorizing everything. so when you' were done, he leaned over to you and put his hand over your hand, which was shaking on your knee. "i wish i could fix this, sweet pie."

at the nickname he used to use when you were little, when he was still a model for you, and you felt his touch again, you retreated like his touch burnt you, standing upright by the door.

he stood up too, looking at you as if you were about to break down at any given moment and that's was it.

you approached him, raising your index finger to him and with tears starting to run down your cheeks, you addressed him for the last time. "i'm going to leave the room and when i get back, you'll be anywhere, just not near this house."

and with that being said, you came out of the room like a tornado, ignoring the fact that conrad was a few doors away, listening to everything. and ignoring the fact that conrad called name continuously, following in your footsteps.

you didn't stop until you reached the beach, you sat on the sand and you felt the sea breeze at your feet. you continued to cry, sniffing through the fresh air, watching through the tears as the waves broke.

you felt a warm touch on your shoulder and you knew who that was before he sat down next to you.

"do you want to talk about it?” conrad asked, continuing to look at you intently.

you looked up at him, and your eyes and wet cheeks shattered his heart. he couldn't stand seeing you in this situation.

"could you hold me in your arms for a moment, without saying anything?" your voice trembled when you asked him that and he agreed immediately.

you got up from the position you were in earlier, put your thighs around his legs, and lowered your head into the hollow of your neck, continuing to sigh as he stroked your back.

"yeah, but only for a few moments. we're going to have to talk about this at some point." he said in a reassuring tone and realizing that you would listen to his voice for a lifetime and not get bored, you nodded.

his touch along with your two favorite sounds combined, his breathing and the sound of the ocean, calmed you in a few minutes, becoming soft in his arms.

when your peace had begun to unsettle him because he had begun to overthinking everything, he began to draw circles on your back with his finger to get your attention.

the tears had stopped and the sighs were gone, but you weren't ready to see you with the swollen face from so much crying.

"y/n?" he called your name lightly, beginning to wonder if you had fallen asleep.

you murmured softly something that was not understood and when he tried to move you away enough to see your face by putting his hands on your hips, you clung into his neck like a little kitten that refuses to let you go when you want to let him down from your arms.

he giggled and you felt a flock of butterflies that flew in your stomach, managing to put a lazy smile on your face. when he felt your smile on the skin of his neck, he tried to move you away for a second time and with you being taken unprepared, he succeeded.

no matter how much it hurt him to see you cry, your face afer crying seemed a very beautiful thing, and somehow peaceful, to him because he could've sworn that you were always shining.

"when were you going to tell me you liked me too?" he asked you in a serious tone, but in the end he touched you on the nose teasingly.

"what are you talking about?"

"we both know that i have shown you many times, through my specific methods, that i care a lot about you and what you said to your father today made me believe that was about me. i might be wrong though."

you stood for a second, remembering what you said and you hit him playfully in the shoulder. "were you eavesdropping?"

he laughed lightly in response and then he returned to being seriously, his grip around your waist becoming tighter. "seriously, y/n, i can understand you better than anyone about everything you've said. and if that's all that stops you from telling me what i've wanted to hear for so long, go ahead. because i promise i understand you."

"how can you understand?" you asked him frustrated and you leaned your head on his shoulder, looking at the ocean.

he sighed before he said "because, between us, me and jere are going through the same thing, only he doesn't know it yet. i haven't told him yet. and no one but you, not even our parents, knows i found out."

at that moment you withdrew so that you could study his face. he had no reaction on his face, but the grip around you told you enough.

"your parents are divorcing?"

you couldn't believe it. susannah and adam seemed to be the perfect couple. but so did your parents. that was until your father gave up everything in one selfish night.

"yeah."

there was silence between you for a while, and conrad's fingers on his waist were the only thing holding you to reality. you went through your mind again the words you said to your father and now you knew that conrad had heard them. at the moment you managed to think you were ready, so you cleared your throat and his eyes immediately met yours.

he removed his hands from your waist, and if it had not seemed to you that you were exceeding a limit imposed by your conscience, you would have sighed at that lack of contact.

"what's wrong?" he asked you and put one of his now free hands on your cheek, stroking it with his thumb.

you didn't know how to say it, so you threw the words straight in front of him in one breath. "i like you too."

he thought he was dreaming.

"say it again." he challenged you to repeat it.

you raised your eyebrow and looked at him for a second, then did as he told you to. "i like you too, conrad."

you thought that if you said his name this way, in this sentence, it would make him feel assured of your feelings and you succeeded.

it was his turn to bury his face in the curvature of your neck, squeezing your waist in his arms as if he didn't give you a chance to change your mind and leave.

it was clear. his hands on your waist already felt like home after today.

he barely managed to retreat, being too vulnerable now and wanting to keep hugging you. but he need to say a few more words.

you watched him intently, waiting for him to start talking, but his hands found yours and he began to play anxiously with your fingers as he spoke "believe me, y/n, that after all i've been through in the last few months, i wouldn't want to believe that we'll just be friends again. i want to be around you, i want to be able to hug and kiss you." his fingers found their place, intertwining with your fingers as he continued. "and most importantly, i want to help you build your trust in me."

at that moment, you could have cried again. this time because of happiness. but the grimace on his face when he heard you sighing worried you and you abstained for his sake. "sure."

that was the only word you managed to say, but to him it meant everything.

his lips met yours and he swore to protect you from whatever was needed. even from his own demons.

#the summer i turned pretty #tsitp #conrad fisher #conrad fisher x reader #conradfisher x you #conrad fisher x y/n #the summer i turned pretty imagine #conrad fisher fluff #angst #Spotify

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emma-cantmakeuphermind · 1 year

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Just A Project | II

Nathan Prescott x Reader

Masterlist

Parts: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Warnings: slightly ooc nathan, swearing obvi

Words: 894

I’m in my last class, Chemistry. Trust me, I love Mrs. Grant and all, but she rambles way too much. She’s holding dismissal… has been for 10 minutes. ‘Don’t be late.’ Nathan’s words ring in my ears. Please let me out of here. And like God himself heard my plea, Mrs. Grant finally let up. “Okay kids, go do whatever you kids do these days. And stay safe!” The entire class let out a sigh of relief, and happily left her room.

As I’m walking out I run into someone. “Oh, I’m so sorry.” I apologize, as we bumped into them pretty hard. The other person speaks with a bit of a chuckle, “Nah, It’s all good.” I immediately recognize the voice, and look up at them. “Warren! Hey.” I greet him properly. I’m actually pretty good friends with Warren, he’s a nice guy, plus he always helps with my Chem work. Not to mention that he has the biggest crush on our mutual friend, Max. Which I help him with in return for the Chem help.

“How are you, Y/N? You look kind of stressed.” He says in that caring tone, always genuine. “Sorry Warren, I’m just in a bit of a hurry.” He nods in understanding. “I gotta meet up with someone, for a photography project.” I continue, and Warren says, “Oh alright, I won’t keep you hostage then.” He jokes. “I just wanted to ask you real quick if you wanted to borrow my drive.” I look at him a little confused not understanding why I would want to borrow a flash drive. He must’ve noticed my confusion because he starts to explain. “It’s just got a bunch of movies on it, you know the classics. None of that new age crap with no plot.” My face lights up with clarity. I nod and say, “Actually, yeah that’ll be great.” Warren looks pleased and tells me he’ll drop it off at my dorm soon. We say bye and head our separate ways. I’m now 15 minutes late.

God, Nathan’s gonna be pissed.

As I was walking to the boys dorms, I was oh so lucky to stumble across Deputy Dilweed. Aka Mr. Madsen. “Young lady, what on earth are you doing on the boy’s dorm campus?!” His usual shouts tick me off as I’m already late to meeting Nathan, and I really don’t wanna hear his bitching. “I have a project to do. For Mr. Jefferson.” I say innocently. “I don’t care if you have a project. You are not allowed to be here. Whoever your partner is can wait.” He said smugly, clearly not letting up.

An idea came to me. I’ll smack that smirk right off his face. “Actually, I’m already late, and Nathan Prescott does not like to be kept waiting.” I finished with my own sly smirk, watching the color drain from his face. “I apologize. Go ahead.” He moves out of my way with his head down in embarrassment. Maybe Nathan does come with a few perks. I make my way into the building, starting my journey to find his room.

—————————————————————

Walking down the 2nd floor hall of the boys dorms, I look at my watch. Great, I'm 30 minutes late and I still haven't found this boy’s dorm. I keep walking looking at all the white boards when I see one that reads, ‘The Prescotts Own You’. Yeah, okay, not obvious at all. I hold my breath as I knock on the door a couple of times. Nothing. I sigh for a moment, thinking I was totally screwed. I raise my fist to knock again, but before I’m able to, the door swings open with a blank faced expression on Nathan’s face.

I drop my hand, embarrassed, and albeit, a little scared. “You’re late. I told you to not be late.” He sounds pissed, but his face doesn’t show it. He lets me in nonchalantly, plopping down on his couch. “I’m really sorry, honestly. First Mrs. Grant held dismissal, then I ran into someone, and Deputy Dickhole gave me a hard time getting up here. Not to mention I was roaming the campus for way too long trying to find you room.” I say in one big breath, letting out a sigh.

“Madsen?” Nathan says now sounding genuinely pissed. “That prick? I’ll talk to him about it.” I was shocked to say the least, awkwardly shifting beside his sitting figure. “Sit.” He said. “Right..” I say shyly, and I sit down beside him. I take a moment to take in his room, very dark, and monochrome. Pictures of obscure and abstract visuals hang on his walls. Some of which are his own work, others aren’t. He has some sort of fancy projector set up. An interest in film maybe?

Anyway I turn my attention back to Nathan, and to my surprise, he’s already looking at me. He doesn’t break eye contact, not immediately anyways. After a second he looks away. “So, we just gotta take a few pictures of each other.” He says coolly. “And two environmental shots.” I gently corrected. “Whatthefuckever.” He pressed. “Listen I already don’t wanna do this, so let’s just hurry up and get this over with.” He stands up grabbing one of his many cameras, messing with the settings. I have a feeling tonight's gonna be a long night.

#lis #life is strange #life is strange x reader #life is strange imagine #lis nathan prescott #nathan prescott imagine #nathan prescott x reader #nathan prescott #warren graham #warren graham x reader

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eros-ghoulette · 3 months

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the gif is there because one of my cats walked over my laptop and somehow managed to put it there:

Okay... this will be a post where I try to get to the root of what's actually going on with me...

I have the problem of feeling annoying for months now. I have social anxiety and had breakdowns once in two months or something. But since a few days it just got worse. I feel bad out of the nowhere, my stomach has this weird feeling of anxiety in it just out of the blue. And i am scarred somehow. Because i had a breakdown a few days ago, and i just don't know ho to deal with that. It sounds so harmless now...

I cried and felt better after hours of feeling unreal, and i hate that feeling. I'm constantly thinking about things i said days even weeks ago and i regret saying them, i even regret it when i had so much fun and i don't understand it. Why is my brain telling me that i'm annoying to everyone?

I want to write, because writing makes me happy, and i really love to write about Zephyr and Ifrit. But now my brain tells me i shouldn't write about them, that i should feel bad for writing those ficlets of them, because i get my inspiration often from fanarts. Because my brain tells me I'm stealing others people's ideas, and i feel so bad for it.

Even when I'm not at home, i feel the anxiety just randomly creeping up in me and i get either restless or i zone out. And that never happened before (not like that. I'm bad at explaining). And i just feel tired from one moment to the other sometimes, that this feeling overwhelms me.

While writing this my heart is pounding painfully hard and when i started my hands were shaking. I don't know what to do. I feel bad out of nowhere and i want to apologize for things i did. I want to apologize for using fanart as inspiration, even though the artist liked the ficlet. I want to apologize for writing about Zephyr in nearly every ficlet, because i feel bad for doing that. And i don't know why. I just feel bad for that.

And now i have thoughts about being alone. I'm not, i have a twin, great parents and two friends i trust. But i don't trust them when it's about my feelings and needs. I realized that i will never be someone's first choice (maybe my twins, but that's all). And it's so dumb, but i reblogged the "send me a ⭐if i'm one of your favourite mutuals"... post, even though i knew i'm not that important (i feel like i sound extremely egoistic and even pick me now). Because i get attached so easily that it will hurt me in the end. And people are nearly more important to me than i'm to them.

I feel bad for writing that, but also relieved and still...

and i want to thank the people who gave me nice words, because they mean so incredibly much to me 😭

#just venting #no one will read this #i know that #just needed to get it off...

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nobodysdaydreams · 7 months

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THE SI-5 WILL PAY FOR THEIR SINS IF I HAVE TO WRITE THE FIC FOR IT MYSELF! BLESSIE WILL BE AVENGED! (or my reaction to episodes 32-34 and mini episode 5 of Wolf359)

Sorry (again) for the delay, but I did warn you my schedule would be very inconsistent. Thank you everyone for your patience. At least I was able to finish these notes tonight.

Tagging the mutuals who got me invested in this, and if you want to be tagged or untagged from these posts, lmk, or you can follow my blog or simply follow the tag "#bods wolf359 reactions". Anyone who has followed me for a while knows my updates are inconsistent, so I apologize in advance for that and for any spelling/grammar mistakes in my posts.

@sophieswundergarten @oflightningandstars @acollectionofcuriousreblogs @herawell @commsroom

Episode 32: Controlled Demolition

I'm reacting to this while doing chores, so sorry if this is super brief. Hopefully it's not too plot heavy.

Have I mentioned I hate Kepler? Honestly the worst. I don't trust any of them.

Let's see...not a fan of Jacobi either. Of course I don't like Hilbert or his Decima project (which btw, it was very nice of the virus to not attack and kill Doug during his 100+ days alone in space without Hilbert keeping him stable). But Jacobi clearly doesn't know what he's doing, leave the dangerous chemicals alone!

Also the whole idea of Doug keeping someone on task...hilarious. Makes you wonder why Kepler REALLY gave him this assignment. Maybe to keep Doug distracted.

And then Maxwell. Looks like she has an interest in AI that's not entirely hostile, but at the end of the day, she's still working for the bad guys. When push comes to shove, she's gonna have to chose between Hera and Doug and Cutter and his errand boys. But I guess I hate her the least right now out of the three. She at least detected that Hera was in pain and is trying to do something. I hate to applaud someone for doing the bare minimum but that’s where we’re at I guess.

And Hera...you could have told Doug. He would understand. He's your friend.

I feel so bad for Hera. I just know they're gonna install some program in her that forces her to hurt her friends. It's only a matter of time.

Also, of course Kepler wants to play chess. That's the most villain thing ever, threatening someone over a chess board. Just once, I want to see a villain use a less ominous board game just to be funny. Like imagine Kepler with a nice Whisky in his hands mulling over a game of "Chutes and Ladders" or “Candyland”. It would be funny. Well at least Kepler embraces the villain aesthetic.

Though it's interesting: command doesn't know where the two years of Lovelace's life went. Or at least they claim. Now I'm curious. Was it the aliens? Is Lovelace a robot clone after all? Maybe Doug was right yet again!

A liability? Fire when ready? Oh my gosh is Jacobi gonna shoot Lovelace? Or Hilbert?

What was that?

Nice of Dr. Maxwell to make sure Hera wasn't in pain. But um...what did they just destroy on the Hephaestus? Another secret lab?

Oh my gosh. Just from the way Doug says the word "is". I've pause the episode but they better not have. THEY BETTER NOT HAVE.

If they did I'm gonna go insane.

NO.

THOSE BASTARDS.

USED TO BE?

BLESSIE DID NO HARM HE DIDN'T ASK TO BE CREATED! HE DIDN'T ASK TO BE BORN AND HE WASN'T PUTTING ANYTHING IN JEPORDY! HE WAS A GENTLE SOUL. 🥺

JACOBI AND KEPLER HAVE FORFITTED THEIR RIGHTS TO REDEMPTION ARCS. CUTTER'S ERRAND BOYS DESERVE NOTHING. 😠

Mixed feelings about Maxwell. At least she helped Hera but...she did it so they could kill Blessie. I still don't trust her.

"It's just business" WELL GUESS WHAT KEPLER? Maybe my business is about to become writing 500 fics where the plant monster eats you! How do ya like them apples?

You all knew this was coming didn't you? You, person reading this right now. You saw my love of the plant monster and hate for SI-5 and smiled to yourself. You've been waiting haven't you? Well dear readers. Here it is. I hope it was all worth it to you. Because for the rest of my Wolf359 reactions, I'm gonna have nothing but hate and contempt for Cutter's errand boys and their stupid chess games and inability to properly inspect a chemical lab.

Episode 33: Don't Poke the Bear

Yeah Hilbert, Doug is allowed to be mad at you. Just because there are worse devils in the world than you doesn't make you an angel.

Hey that's actually a pretty good quote. Good for me.

"You won't even know I'm here". You know Kepler, if you threw yourself out of the airlock, then you wouldn't be here at all, you plant murdering psychopath. I hope you drown in your own Whisky.

And stop talking. And slurping.

Never thought I'd support Hilbert, but Here. We. Are.

Kepler. What kind of childish power trip is this?

Oh ew. Jacobi. Maybe you can help Kepler out the airlock.

Wait...are they trying to tell them how to do this? ARE JACOBI AND MAXWELL BETRAYING KEPLER? Or is this all part of some grand scheme? Jacobi still shot Blessie, so even if he is helping them, I really don't care, and I don’t believe it.

Oh ew Kepler. You don't get to call Hilbert out. THAT'S MY JOB. You forfeited that right when you shot Blessie.

And stop pretending to care about Doug.

"Mr. Ballistics Dummy" okay Jacobi. "Mr. Errand Boy" it is.

Yeah Kepler seems pretty paranoid.

"I'd kill for five minutes in the achieves without red tape" "She's being metaphorical" ...why do I not believe that...

And Jacobi...you seem unusually calm and laid back about this. Why do I think this is all you trying to trap them?

"Just because we do awful things doesn't mean we have to like it". YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING. You're still morally responsible. Forgive me if a few tears shed over those you killed doesn’t cut it.

"This empty coffee cup outranks you" Kepler I hope one day your Whisky glass outranks you.

No decima research? Oh my goodness what a surprise! Command doesn't care about you Hilbert! Who could have seen this coming? Oh my gosh evil people stab each other in the back, I could have nevvvveeeerrrrr seen that one coming. 🙄

"He can be very...enthusiastic when it comes to guarding his secrets" Oh I bet.

THE WHISKEY SPEECH IS A ROUTINE SPEECH HE GIVES?

Kepler really is discount Cutter.

Ah...grand scheme it seems. I knew I was right to put Jacobi on my hit list. And Maxwell, it seems you're interested in joining the party. Welcome, welcome.

They didn't even deliver their letters? Man they are embracing the villain aesthetic.

"Kepler is manipulating you." Of course he is.

Solid advice Hilbert. "Don't trust me. But don't trust him either."

IT GREW HIS FINGERNAILS BACK?

Oh my. This is big. But then why does Cutter want to shut it down? Is he so against doing good that he won't do a good thing for society even if it will make him famous and considered a good guy for curing a ton of stuff? He really is the worst.

Episode 34: A Matter of Perspective

People need to be nicer to Doug. He has the least blood on his hands. And every time Jacobi and Kepler talk I lose brain cells. "I do evil but it's necessary" yeah, except it's not. It's literally not. What's wrong with you?

I don't care about the stupid superpowered three-legged pig.

Oh my gosh HE IS STILL GOING.

...

He can't even remember the punchline. Pathetic.

More music! 🎶🎶🎶

...They have board games?

Ugh. Pryce and Carter again. "The existential terror that is funzo."

Why is that in the manual? And if it is, why bring it to space? This raises so many questions.

Well at least it's not chess. Though it's no "Chutes and Ladders". Or “Candyland”.

Have I mentioned I hate SI-5 yet? Poor Doug.

Oh my gosh is this more funzo? Is the game even real?

"Hidden inwardness card"? "Time Vortex?" What sort of old-timey board game is this? Loyalty round? Wheel of ages? Sunken Idol? Celestial Steps?

At least Hera seems to like it. Did they bring it for the AIs? To keep them entertained?

WHAT IS THIS GAME. 😂

IS HILBERT THE REF? 😂 Oh my gosh he is being tortured.

Okay Jacobi and Kepler have history. But here's the thing Jacobi. There's a difference between a coach that pushes you to do your best on a football team, and a known murderer who pushes you to become a murderous psychopath.

WHY DO YOU TRUST HIM WITH YOUR LIFE JACOBI? He's crazy. Nutso. Why would you blow up Doug for him?

Oh. A forbidden picture of Doug. Maybe that's private. It does make me wonder about his past though...

"Reality Storm".

...ooohhhh... the "Golden Loyalty Card". How fancy.

I hope Pryce and Carter had fun designing the game. Sound like they really had a good time with it.

"I never wanted to be up here in space" well, then WHY ARE YOU HERE? WHY ARE YOU GIVING IT EVERYTHING?

"Kepler is gone" oh that's such a stupid cop out. "The old me died" nah, you're still here you're just making terrible life choices.

"Jacobi's a smart man" No, not really.

Oh great the pig joke.

Hahaha...that's not funny you psycho. That's not funny at all. It’s also clearly a metaphor for them. A slow death doesn’t make it any less of a murder.

Oh there's more? Is it just me or are the episodes getting longer.

It's his birthday again! And Christmas! Well, this is nice. They remembered this time. 🥰

"The same thing I do every night. I get older". Don't we all Doug. Don't we all.

Mini Episode 5: Long Story Short

What is the Argentinian incident?

Well I guess we'll never know.

Oh flashback land.

Yikes Kepler really seems to like to tell stories. HE HAD A FUNK BAND? HABERDASHERS? WHAT?

Well I guess even cold hearted villains need hobbies. Charges of insider trading? Saw Maxwell's feet? Okay that one was weird. What's out there in the woods? "I don't remember anything from 1987?" ...why are these silly stories getting more ominous.

Is that it? Yikes that really was short. Really short did I miss something? Okay, well I guess that's it.

Kepler should have stayed with his funk band. Maybe then he wouldn't be on my airlock launching list.

Thanks for reading dear readers. See you soon!

#bods wolf359 reactions #hera wolf 359 #renee minkowski #isabel lovelace #daniel jacobi #alana maxwell #warren kepler #wolf 359 #W359 #w359 #hera w359 #doug eiffel #alexander hilbert

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boogiewrites · 2 years

Text

Seeing Stars Pt. 2

Characters: Eddie Munson x OFC Star

Summary: A real friendship starts to grow between Star and Eddie as he works to earn her trust. When he gets her alone in her own safe space, he finds a much softer woman than he expected. His good nature pays off as she finally opens up and shares some hard truths about her life before Hawkins. He promises her that she can trust him.

Comment & Reblog to let me know you like it and want more Eddie content!

Part 1 if you missed it!

Warnings/Triggers: Alluding to past abuse, PTSD triggers- being startled very easily. Tarot and witchy stuff. Slow-burning. This chapter is a lot of talking. Character development and that. If you wanted more Eddie interacting and being Eddie with people, you'll enjoy this. That's what I wanted. So I wrote it. :D

Eddie made his way out of the theater to wander the halls. He liked making rounds after school before Hellfire Club. The school felt like a different place when it was empty. A clattering caught his attention, making his way toward the sound and hiding around a corner. There he saw Star trying to carry a canvas that was far too big for her to properly handle. She sighed, puffing her bangs up and examining the size of it propped against the lockers. He heard her muttering but couldn’t make any of it out. Giving herself what seemed to be encouragement, she tried to open the exit door with her ass and back out of the doorway while keeping the canvas off the ground. She failed. Trying her hip, then an outstretched leg to no avail. She took a break, leaning against the open door with her head knocking back into it. She rubbed her face aggressively before dusting off her paint-splattered overalls.

“You want some help?” He finally blew his cover and she was startled. Making a tiny adorable sound as she jumped with wide eyes that immediately turned down with her frown. “Sorry.” He holds out his hands defensively as he approaches her. She could sure be jumpy. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“I can’t claim to have not been scared when I just made a noise like a broken Halloween decoration.” She sighed and looked to the canvas.

“Don’t worry, it was cute.” He gave her a warm smile and shook his head. “You stealing this?” He quickly followed up so she wouldn’t get antsy about the compliment.

“No, I’m trying to get it to my car.”

“You weren’t lying about being a painter I see.”

“No. Got the paint water cup poisoning to prove it.” He tilted his head with a wordless question. “Nevermind.” She reached for one side of the large canvas. He hoists up one side and they easily carry it to her car where they approach how to angle it to get it into her back seat.

“Good thing you’ve got this big back seat.” He grunted as he pulled himself out of the back of her car after getting it adjusted.

“Not the first time I’ve heard that.” She stood with her elbow on the top of her car and pushed the back door shut.

“Getting your money's worth out of that good leather? Don’t make them like that anymore.”

“I was making a joke about my ass being huge but yeah I’m also a backseat fucking aficionado.” She speaks with her usual dry delivery and keeps her mouth in an almost smile.

“I will refrain from commenting on any part of that.” He gives her a chuckle.

“Good man.” She gave him a nod.

“What’s this for?”

“I’ve had this idea for a while and the art teacher thinks it might be good for this contest.”

“And you’re taking it home?”

“I can’t… work at school. I’m not… I’m not ME here.” She had a passing look of sadness cross her face.

“Like you have to be someone else.” He nodded in understanding.

“Of course you get it.” She mumbled it to herself. “Yeah, nail on the head, bud. I can’t relax here. Or in public in general. It’s too…. much ya know?”

“I get it. That why you’re always turning people away?”

“Who are you, my shrink?” She snorted.

“Well, I do it too.” He added fast and earnestly. She met his eyes and held the mutual look of understanding and found the genuine vulnerability in his eyes a bit much to handle for too long. “You don’t know who to trust. You don’t feel safe. Easier to keep it at arm's length.”

“Yeah.” Her voice was hushed. “You know you’re like… the only person I really talk to. That sounds pathetic now that I’ve said it out loud, Jesus Christ.” She rubbed the bridge of her nose.

“No, man! before I found the club guys I was the same way. Seriously.” He took a step closer but hesitated to touch her. “You just have to find people on the same wavelength.” He spoke with his hands a lot and she liked to watch him explain things when he cared about them. “You’ve been here what? Like 2 weeks? Don’t be so hard on yourself. You can always stop pushing us away and sit with the guys. Or come see a session and see if that’s what you’re into.”

“Dungeons and Dragons are two very cool sounding things.” She mused.

“I can talk to you more about it if you want. Or… about anything really. If you want, I mean. We could talk outside of school.” He was being a bit brave and was reluctant to be proud of himself until he heard her response. “Since you said you can’t be yourself here maybe being able to be yourself with someone new outside of school might help?”

“Are you asking me out?” She asked with no hint of anger or disgust on her face.

“I mean…” he laughed nervously and his face moved into an unsure but still charming expression showing just how big his eyes could be with his raised brows. “I’m not NOT.” He offered with open hands. “I don’t want to be presumptuous here but we get along right?”

“Yeah.” She quickly answered and he felt his muscles relax a tiny bit.

“Then we should hang out outside of school.”

As she does, she lets the silence take hold while she thinks. She twitches then chews her lip and he thinks she’s deciding how to tell him best to fuck off.

“I’ll level with you, Eddie.” She leaned in closer. “It won’t be a date.” She says with far less bite than he expected. “I just got here. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing after I graduate. I’m not looking to complicate things with a boyfriend.” She let herself be honest. For the most part.

“Okay.” He says with a shrug of his shoulders, unphased. “When are you free?” She straightened her posture and gave him her trademark up and down scan.

“You still want to hang out with me?” The way she said it made his chest hurt.

“Yeah?” He chuckled like she was being crazy. “We like the same shit. More importantly, we hate the same shit. Why wouldn’t I want to hang out with you?”

Her mouth went a bit dry. Because I’m not a machine you put nice tokens into and out pops sex when you turn the knobs right? Because a 6 pack, a pizza, and the b-side of Zeppelin 4 weren’t going to get your dick wet? That’s what her brain wanted to say.

He saw the way her eyes flitted back and forth in thought. Man, people had been assholes to her, hadn't they?

She stands straight to gather herself and digs through the various pockets of her overalls to find a pen. Without a word, she grabs his hand and writes her phone number on the back. It was written over the top of a little quickly drawn star.

“Robbie might answer but just ask for me and he won’t give you too much grief.”

“Robbie?”

“My brother.” She explained with a much softer demeanor than he’d seen from her before. He looked to the pen in her hand and held out his.

“You want me to…?”

“Oh! Yeah. Hold on. Put it in my journal because I WILL somehow get it smudged or forget if it’s on my hand.” She shook her head and cracked open the notebook. He caught glimpses of some of her drawings on the one filled page before writing his name and his phone at the top of an empty one. She had plenty of mindless scratches and doodles but some were surprisingly delicate. One of a cat and one of an intricately swirled sun. That’d make a good tattoo, he thought. “Thanks.” She gave him a subtle but almost sweet smile for a moment before shoving the notebook back into her bag in her car seat. “I get my next schedule today so I’ll have to let you know when I get a night off.”

“Oh, you have a job?”

“Yeah. Paint doesn't buy itself.” she chirped. “Since I have school they usually have me work nights but… I’ll let you know. Are there any days better for you than others?”

“Tuesdays shows. There's club nights and band practice. That’s my whole schedule.” he shakes his head, the fluff brushing his cheekbones.

”Busy man, I see. Anytime I shouldn’t? Wouldn’t want to wake up someone and get you grounded or throw you off your game.” She raised her eyebrows playfully.

“Me? Grounded? Yeah, that’s funny. I’m alone all night, so whenever. The only time I won’t pick up is if I’m dead ass asleep.”

“Wouldn’t want to interrupt your beauty sleep.” Another subtle smile with her eyes.

“I need all I can get.” He nodded.

She gives him a smile that turns up the corners of her mouth. He knew she’d had the thought to throw an either flirtatious or devastating line his way but she refrained and simply shook her head no.

“I’ll call you. I need to get this home and get ready for my shift.” She looked at her watch. “Say hi to the boys for me will ya?” She adds with squinted eyes facing the sun as she starts her car.

He gives her a nod and a wave as he walks backward a bit back toward the school. The roar of the muffler on the car was too loud to bother talking over. Her car disappears out of sight and he turns away from the glass doors to go back to the theatre to write down this number before he rubbed it off by accident.

“What the fuck is this?” Eddie’s wrist is grabbed harshly by Gareth who had an incredulous tone in his voice. He sat next to Eddie at the large table where they played D and D.

“It’s nothing!” Eddie yanked his hand away with a scowl.

“That’s a phone number!” Sounds of congratulatory and also mocking oh’s and awe make their way around the group. “Lemme see!”

“I will shove a fistful of dice so far down your throat you’ll have to take a shit to roll damage!” He defends himself with an arm reared back. “You don’t GRAB people man, shit.” He scolds.

“Who’s the lucky lady?” Dustin sing-songs across the table.

“We don’t have Hellfire Club to discuss girls.” Eddie purses his lips and tries to regain his composure.

“Maybe we should.” Another added.

“Okay if not WHO, then how?”

“I told her I wanted to hang out and she gave me her number. It’s not that complicated.”

“THERE'S A STAR!” Gareth shouts having been studying Eddie’s hand while he was preoccupied.

“Star? THE Star??” More than one said.

“Shit.” Eddie sank back into his chair.

“I can never tell if she’s nice or if she’s mean.” Dustin mused.

“It’s like she’s flirting and then she’ll just say something so cold-blooded you wanna rethink your whole existence.”

Eddie laughed at that one. That sounded about right.

“It’s called a dry sense of humor,” Eddie explained. “She actually told me to say hi to you guys.”

“Bullshit.”

“No, she did.” he insisted.

“So she does like us?”

“She called me incorrigible once so I think she does like us.” Dustin grinned, his braces shining.

“What do you think that word means Dustin?” Eddie tilted his head, arms crossed with a smug smirk.

“I thought it meant like really adorable. Like, encourage, and adorable.” He paused and scrunched his nose. “But now I’m second-guessing that.”

“Yeah, that’s not what it means kid, sorry.” Eddie chuckled.

“You just said you didn’t know if she’d ever even sit with us and now you’re going out with her and she’s “saying hi” to us?”

“Must be those satanic rituals paying off for ya Eddie.” One joked.

“It’s not a date. First of all.” He begins.

“Uh-huh”

“Sure.”

“I think… she’s warming up to us.” He holds his hands out to present the idea.

“We do need a healer.” Mike mumbled.

“I can talk to her about it more when we hang out. But by how you’re all reacting to this news I don’t know if I should try to get her anywhere near you.”

“We are men of culture.” Dustin hit his hand on the table. “We can talk to girls. Even mean… pretty ones.”

“Dustin you have culture in the same way a Petri dish does.” Eddie shook his head.

“HEY!” He says defensively. A chuckle moved across the group.

“ALRIGHT.” Eddie clapped his hands together to snap the attention to him. “We have a game to play unless you all want to braid each other’s hair and talk about girls all night.” He leaned forward with his hands on the table. “Or you can save the realm from certain destruction? Cause I can just go home.” He perked up with a straight posture to present the plan with a puffed-out confident chest. “What’ll it be?”

Star sat on her makeshift vanity in her trailer, pulling the rollers out of her hair. She had her music on high and was almost ready to leave.

“Hot date?” she jumped out of her chair at the sound of her brother’s voice. He stood bigger than the doorway, leaning against it, having reached out to switch off the music.

“Christ Robbie.” she groans, moving to put her mirror back the way she’d had it before her knees hit the table.

‘Still jumpy huh?”

“No shit.” she pursed her lipstick-covered lips.

“No need to be all huffy about it, just a question. I just thought coming out here might help with that sort of thing.”

“It has.” she shrugged and grabbed a hairbrush a little too aggressively. “But it’s not the sort of thing that goes away quickly.” her tone was defensive and he sighed, seeing maybe she wasn’t doing as well as he thought she was.

“You’ve been listening to more of that 60’s duwop-y music the past week or two. You only do that when you’re happy.” he points to the boom box on the counter.

“I’ve not… not been… happy I guess. I’ve been feeling better.”

“Have anything to do with this date tonight?”

“It’s not a date.” she shook her head.

“You’re doing your hair and makeup and wearing a dress and it’s not a date. Okay.”

“I don’t get to dress up and go out every weekend here like I did back home. I’ll take any excuse I can get to wear some of my nice stuff.”

“So what’s his name?” he asks with a nod of his head.

“Eddie.” she simply stated.

“The one that called the other day?”

“One in the same.”

“Is that all I get?” he chuckled.

“He’s a repeat like me. He’s nice. He’s the head of the Dungeons and Dragons club at the school.”

“Didn’t take you for someone who’d go for a nerd.”

“Whatever you've pictured in your head that he looks like. That’s not him.”

“So are we talking leather jacket and a bad attitude?”

“It’s like you know me.” she gave him a sarcastic grin. “Add long hair to that list.”

“But he’s nice?” His voice was laced with worry.

“Surprisingly so. Don’t worry.”

“Alright.” he let out a loud sigh. “I’ll stay and meet him then.”

“Ugh. Robbie!” she turned and pouted, a true younger sister stomping her foot move.

“I’ll stay in the damn house then!” he holds his arms up defensively. “I just wanna know what the hell the kid looks like.” he defended himself. Star turned away with a more playful scowl. “Is he cute?” Robbie asks before leaving with wiggling eyebrows.

“Guess you’ll find out in about 15 minutes.” she looked at her watch.

“Do YOU think he’s cute? Because our taste in men is very different.” This makes Star laugh and loosen up, tossing her hand his way.

“Turn the radio back on.” Robbie gives her a stare-down she can feel in the back of her head even after she’s turned. “Okay! Yes! He’s cute!”

“Thank youuuu.” he called out and walked cheerfully back into the house.

- Eddie pulled up, totally unaware of the peeping eyes of Star’s older brother from the window of the house. It was a small two-bedroom, humble in its basic appearance and in need of a paint job. He pulled up to the carport that sat between the house and Star’s airstream trailer. Robbie chuckled as he saw the guy get out and then look back and forth between the house and the trailer, trying to figure out which to go to. Star had been right, he wasn’t at all what he expected. More typical for Star sure, but he looked more like some tough-ass metalhead than a nice nerd.

“Hey!” Star called out, appearing from the small door of the chrome trailer, she closed it behind her and locked it with her overloaded set of keychains that were now being housed in her purse.

“H-hey.” He only stuttered slightly but the sight of her surprised him. A blue dress with a knitted cardigan covering it. She wore the same lace-up boots and cross-body bag she always did. “Well, you-” He had a second to decide how he’d compliment her. “Clean up nice.”

“Thanks.” she took the compliment, that was a good sign. “You too.” He had on fewer layers, just a baseball tee with the Iron Maiden mascot of the same name as him on it and his usual accessories and jeans. “You take a shower for once?” she pointed at him with an entirely serious face.

“Yeah thanks for noticing.” he nodded, hand to his chest. “I’m trying this new thing called soap?” He watched her give him a real smile. It was closed lips but it counted, dammit.

“Oh he’s fancy.” she whistles, coming in closer to give him an exaggerated sniff of his sleeve. She was surprised that he was wearing cologne and smelled lovely. Like musk and clean laundry. “Okay, you actually do smell nice.” She decides to oversell it, shoving her nose into his arm as he laughed. She closed her eyes and felt how soft his shirt was to her face, how solid his arm was underneath it. She stole the small moment to recall later. If there was one thing she missed about being a man, it was the physicality of it.

“Okay you little freak.” then shoved her away and she staggered back with another bigger smile. He’d almost cracked her. “What’ve you got going on?” she stepped back up to him and offered him her wrist. “Okay fire… brimstone… sulfur.” he nodded and mushed his nose into her arm, holding it with both his hands.

“The smells of home.” she bobbed her head, her feathered hair moving about sending another whiff of incense his way. “Better be some hints of amber and white musk in there or I’m gonna be upset my oil didn’t turn out right.”

“Is that what that is? It’s like a-” he didn’t dare say the word sexy although that's what he thought. He was already considering himself lucky with how much playful energy she was giving back to him he wasn’t going to push it. “Head shop full of ladies.”

“That's weirdly accurate.” She nodded in agreement. “Any good? I made it myself.”

“You did? Shit.” he drew out the word to show he was impressed. He gave another playful sniff, his face back to her arm. “It’s real fuckin' good.” his voice went deep and he gave her a dumb laugh for good measure. He rolled his eyes back and she could see his smile lines bold behind the horizon of her arm.

“Maybe making perfume is my calling.”

”It Kinda makes me hungry?” he tilted his head, nose still hovering.

“Hungry?” her face showed her confusion.

“It smells like incense and that makes me think of getting high and then I think about getting the munchies.” he explained and she slowly nodded as he spoke, showing her understanding. He took a risk, he looked her in the eye and acted like he was going to bite her arm. Was it a bit bold? A bit immature? Sure, but he wasn’t going to get her to laugh if he didn’t try.

“No wonder they call you a freak, Eddie.” she finally broke the seal of her smile and showed her teeth, mushing his forehead with an open palm and shoving him away. “If you’re so hungry, let’s go eat!” she kept smiling as she made her way to the passenger side door. “Where are we going anyway?” To her surprise, he opened the van door for her.

“It’s a little place downtown. Cheap but good.” Since they were both barely employed young adults, neither had much money and cheap was good. Date or no date.

“I’ve had the same thing said about me.” she raised a brow and looked resigned to the statement as if it were fact.

“You’ve been undercharging then.” he gave her a spread of his arms in presentation of his statement before shutting the door.

Robbie saw this whole interaction go down, and heard about half of it. He hadn’t seen his little sister act like this with someone since she was young. Ever since she’d started dating she’d lost that playful spark he knew her for. It warmed his heart and gave him a bit of hope. He wasn’t what you’d call an optimist but he was feeling a little less worried.

The familiar space was an odd choice but Star didn’t say anything. She was almost enjoying having the upper hand on him in a way, knowing something he didn’t. He started to catch on when the waitress called her by her first name.

Eddie's eyes shot between the two women but the interaction happened so fast that he let it go in his attempt to not appear as nervous as he was. Star was much better at hiding her nerves than Eddie was.

“So it’s the three older guys in your club that are in your band right?”

“Yeah, drums, guitar, and bass, I’m lead guitar.” He spoke with his hands, rings glinting in the fluorescent lights of the diner.

“You look like it.” She gives a supportive nod.

“Is that good?” He offered a friendly but unsure smile.

“Yeah. In my opinion. But I’m personally a fan of the metal aesthetic”.

“You are?” He leaned forward with his hands clasped together.

“Yeah?” She tilted her head at him.

“This is contradictory because you don’t look like you would.”

“What do I look like I’d like?”

“Patchouli.” he grins and catches her off guard as she snorted out a short-lived laugh.

“Shouldn’t stereotype people but in this instance it’s true.”

“You have this… hippie thing going on. Very 60s 70s rockstar groupie situation. In a good way.”

“I was going for being the rockstar but I’ll take it.”

“And I’m outed as a sexist. Shit.” He raises himself from his seat and acted like he was going to leave before plopping back down in it.

“You look like you’d be good at guitar.”

“I did that on purpose so no one noticed how much I suck.” He grins.

“I don’t think that’s true. I’d say you’re pretty good. Put the time in at least.”

“What makes you say that?”

“These.” She moves to take his hand into two of hers as she taps the callouses on his hands.

“Do you play? Are you like a detective or something? Some plant to spy on the Satan worshippers?” He chuckled and moved his arms around in a conspiracy theorist getting excited sort of way.

“Yes. You caught me.” She smiled and rolled her eyes. “I’ve dated guys who play before.” She admits, returning her hands to her side of the table.

“Insider secrets.” He narrowed his eyes and nodded.

“I’d say they got the Inside-Her secrets. Not me.” She waited for the joke to land and Eddie kept a straight face. “Yeah, I didn’t think that one through before I said it.” She laughed behind two hands placed to her face to show her embarrassment.

“No that was solid!” He finally cracks and grabs her wrists to take them away from her face exposing a full-face smile and blushed cheeks. “If they cheated on you then Inside Her secrets would work even better. You got the Inside Him secrets otherwise. Wait…no.” They both puttered out a laugh and his hands lingered on her wrists, resting on the table. “I mean you could be into that. I don't know.” He holds his hands up defensively, letting hers go.

“You don’t know me well enough to speak on that, Eddie.” She grinned. “Some cheated and I do like it in that context.” She spoke with a pointed finger as if I’m thought

“Oh shit sorry I didn’t think-“

“Nah, Nah.” She shook her hand out and her head, her stack of bracelets clonking together. “Water under the bridge. Don’t worry about it.” He gave her the puppy eyes unintentionally. He did feel bad for bringing it up. “It’s very nice of you to give a shit about it though.”

“I do this thing where, ya know, I talk and I don’t think before I say things and I make an ass of myself.”

“Kindred spirits.” She gave an affirming nod and a small smile. “They all sucked anyway. The only good thing about them was the music.” Her face didn’t read as sad so he believed her.

“You should come to see my band.” He said quickly, he almost blurted it out really. He got so excitable about it that she found it endearing. Much preferred to aloof, detached too cool for school of the ex’s mentioned.

“What night was that again?” She hardened her brow to think. “Tuesday’s! Yeah, I meant to ask for a Tuesday off.”

“Really?” There were those subtle puppy eyes again. “You don’t have to miss work to see my shitty band.” He quickly backtracks.

“No, I’ll trade shifts or ask not to be scheduled that night. It’s not a big deal. I kinda want to see your shitty band, to be honest.”

“You do?” He seemed surprised.

“Well yeah. You clearly love it. I love music. I need to socialize more. And if you are terrible I’ll have plenty of ammo to talk shit. It’s a win-win no matter what for me.”

“I’d like that. We don’t suck.” He added earnestly. “We practice twice a week at least. We've got some originals, some covers.”

“Any groupies?”

“Afraid not.” He grinned. “Our crowds are usually drunk bar regulars.”

“Better than nothing.” She shrugged, not daring to make fun of something he seemed to care so much about. “I’ll be there. I can be a groupie.” She gave a warmer smile. “You have any shirts? I’ll wear one.”

“I made some but-I need to make new ones. You’d really do that?”

“Why the hell not? Might be fun. Or fun for here anyway. I went out a lot back home to go dancing. And there’s nothing here so…” she gave a palm-up shrug.

“Dancing? You?”

“Oh fuck yeah.” He saw her eyes light up now. “I’d get dressed up and go to clubs and dance until I was too drunk or too tired to stand. It was amazing.”

“So you’re into not metal too?”

“If you can shake your ass to it I’m there.” She gave a bigger smile. “You listen to anything, not metal?”

“Not really no.” He scrunches his nose at the idea.

“I’ve got some great stuff. Spans decades, all sorts of genres. You should come over and see if you like any of it sometime.” She wasn’t joking and he felt a bit proud she’d invited him to her place.

“Yeah, I should.” His always earnest answer and smile made her chest ache just a touch and she still wasn’t sure how she felt about it. She didn’t have time to psychoanalyze herself as their meaningful stare was broken.

“Ready to order?” The middle-aged woman answered.

“You know what I want.” Star smiled.

“Wait.” Eddie's eyes turned to small slits. “You’ve been here before?”

“Baby doll she works here.” The older woman grinned. “You not even telling your boyfriend where you work, hun? This one’s full of secrets she won’t give up anything.” Stars shoulder is affectionately shoved.

“You work-“ he scoffs. “You were gonna sit here and just make me have you at your work on a night off?” Stars grin grew wider.

“Give us a minute”. She chuckled to the older woman.

“Didn’t take dumb and cute for your type.” She said quietly with a smile before leaving.

“What the fuck?” Eddie says with a higher pitch and a laugh growing in his chest.

“You didn’t know. You liked the food, it’s not bad! I didn’t want you to have to drive someplace else.”

“Oh come on.” He plops his arms back onto the counter. He let out a sigh and pulled out some bills and threw them on the tabletop. “We’re going somewhere else I’m not making you come to work on your night off.” He started scooting out of the booth. She followed suit. “You were just gonna let me-.” He rubbed his face in embarrassment but was still chuckling about it. “C’mon you jerk.” He motioned before moving to grab her wrist to pull her behind him.

She’d been getting her purse back over her shoulder and was caught off guard. She immediately stiffened and stepped back, roughly yanking her arm out of Eddie’s grasp. He froze just like she did and found her rapidly blinking and looking a bit scared.

“Star you okay? Did I grab you too hard? I’m sorry I wasn’t trying to make you-“ it all came tumbling out and she felt the eyes of the people in the diner on her.

“No, you’re fine. It’s fine. I was just, I got startled.” She shook her head and her voice was quieter than usual with no boisterous attitude behind it. “Let’s go.” She says quickly shrugging her bag up on her shoulder and pulling her cardigan over herself tighter. With her face looking to the ground Eddie looked to his hand then her and then scanned the room to see people watching him.

“Star?” He asked following her out. To have such shorter legs than him she sure could walk fast. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine.” She tucked her hair behind her ears. “I’m- you-“ she stopped and sighed. “I get jumpy sometimes. If someone touches me and I don’t expect it it gets me all-“ she moved her hands into misfigured fists on her stomach. “It makes me panic.” She finally got out. She didn’t know if it was embarrassment or sharing this with him at all that made it so hard to say.

“I won’t do it again. Promise. I didn’t know. I didn’t mean to scare you.“

“I know you didn’t.” She offered a tight but real smile. “It’s okay, really. I do get more easily upset when I’m hungry though so if we could figure that out?” She asked without her usual eye contact.

“Yeah! Let’s, get in and figure that out.” He suggested as he opened and shut her door.

It passed quickly. She didn’t feel unsafe around Eddie for some reason. It had been a little too easy to trust him. They agreed on eating at a drive-in and she started feeling a lot better. After more conversation, she’d extended the offer to come over to her place tonight. He asked if she was sure twice and she insisted. She said she’d feel more relaxed there and that’s what she was trying to do with him. So he went along with it.

“Thanks again for driving.” She said to cut the silence while she dug for her keys. ”After I bought supplies I am broke as a joke.”

“Don’t mention it. You can chauffeur me around next time.”

“Deal.” She says as she cracks her door open. She moves in the space in the dark effortlessly, only a street lamp outside providing any light to the area. It was September and it was already showing by how it was getting darker earlier.

“Did you know you live pretty close to my place?” He stayed outside the door while she turned on a lamp. He studied the field by her house and the woods surrounding it on three sides with a road on the front side. She was fairly isolated living outside of town but not as far out as Eddie did in the trailer park. The house was older and it came with a nice chunk of land, a few acres at least. This meant no houses close by, which gave a newfound space and privacy Atar had never known having lived in cities her whole life. She was adjusting but the excitement of growing her own things had led her to create a tiny bed greenhouse to try her hand at gardening. This theme carried into the trailer as Eddie sook found out, his head turning to the warm-toned flow coming from within. He entered and shut the door.

“Holy shit.” He said quietly, big eyes taking in his surroundings. Something was covering almost every bare space, similar to his room but this looked far more cozy and purposeful. It was an earth-toned haven. Herbs in labeled pots sat on makeshift shelves in front of every window and plants that grew like ivy and hung like banners sat atop a wrap-around shelf near the top of the wall. With its dark wood panel walls, it was easy to tell the place wasn’t new. A very comfortable-looking bed sat at one end, working into the kitchen space, to a bathroom to a storage section. She clicked a lamp on a nearby counter that had beads hanging off the lamp shade's tassels. Paisley and knit were rampant. Pillows and blankets and plush surfaces were everywhere. It suited her and looked so soft and warm, the opposite of the sort of energy he’d picked up on at school.

“That a good holy shit or a bad one?” She asked, turning on another set of lamps to fully illuminate the space. She ended with a small one by the nest of a bed at the end of the trailer.

“Good. There’s so much to look at.” Astrology posters, paintings, and ripped-out images of everything from musician crushes to plants were littered in the bare spaces of the wall. “Reminds me of my room.”

“Cozy is what I strive for.” She shook an incense stick, swirling the lit end to smoke, and put it into the simple wooden holder.

“Man, that stuff smells good.”

“Dragons Blood.” She beamed.

“That’s such a metal name.” He chuckled.

“It’s good for grounding.” She casually added. “I like to light it after I get back home.”

“That’s why you smell good.” He said aloud before he thought it through. “The incense.” He pointed as she raised her head in a speechless question.

“I burn it all the time. At this point, my sweat probably smells like it. Soaked into my skin.” She began taking her shoes off and placing them somewhere out of sight. She put her bag on the small kitchen table and unbuttoned her cardigan to complete her get comfortable once she was home routine. “C’mon and have a seat” she nodded her head toward the bed. “It’s the best in the house.” She moved to the stove, small and jammed in the countertop space area. “Want any tea?” She asked while she focused on the task at hand.

“Tea? Never really bad it.” He muses.

“I’ll make a little extra.” She says mostly to herself. After filling a darling little yellow teapot she pulled an ashtray out of a breadless bread box. “Mind if I?” She nodded, grabbing a box of matches with the joint between her lips.

“It’s your house.” He motions with his hands at her as he hesitantly looks at the bed. He sees a messy stack of illustrated cards on the table beside it. His focus was immediately shifted as he picked them up to study them. “Are these those…” he snaps his fingers a few times on one hand to jar his memory. “Tarot cards, right?”

“Mmm Hmm.” her voice was soft and distracted.

“You do that?” He sounded highly invested.

“Yeah.” She smiled and sat down at her kitchenette table. “I’m… well, a witch. I do tarot and candles, crystals and herbs, and all that sort of thing.”

“And incense.”

“And incense.” She smiled.

“Can you like… read my cards? Is that a thing? I’ve always thought that shirt was interesting.”

“Sure.” She pats the table in front of her and stumbles the short distance to slide into the opposite bench. “What do you wanna know?” She shuffled the well-loved deck. The edges were soft and worn, the images fading on some of the cards.

“I don’t know how it works.” He admits with wide eyes watching her hands work. “I bet you’re good at poker.” His high brain blurts out and she snickers.

“Not as good at poker but I can shuffle the shit out of them.” She kept shuffling as she looked at him. “You can ask it as specific or vague as you want. It’s not an exact yes or no thing. It’ll give you a general outlook.”

“Okay… uh, how’s the rest of the year gonna go?” He asked if that would work with his unsure face and she nodded. Her face was so pleasant, not mad, relaxed. Anyone that didn’t know her would’ve thought she looked angry but Eddie knew better.

“We’ll do a three-card spread.” She started shuffling faster. “How’s the rest of 1985 gonna go for Eddie? What’s coming his way? Anything he should know about? What's he going to be up to?” He looked around wondering who she was talking to.

“Three of Cups. Ten of Cups. The Devil.” She announces them as she draws them.

“The devil? Fuck yeah.” He sticks his tongue out excitedly, moving to put his weight on his arms and looking at the cards like an eager kid. “Unless that means I’m gonna die or something.”

“Yeah, that’s what it means.”

“WHAT?” He declares loudly and she bursts into laughter.

“It doesn’t work like that.” She shook with laughter at the shock on his face. “That’s not what it means.” She extended her hand to place it on top of his. “You’re fine. It's not bad.” She sighed loudly and wiped her eyes. “Your face though.”

“You can’t treat a man like that Star.” He retorted with a big smile but a louder gruffer voice.

“Even if you pulled the death card that doesn’t mean you’re gonna die. You don’t get a card that’s gonna tell you things like that. Don’t worry.”

“That’s important to know. So what’s this saying? Cups? The devil? Am I going to a rager with Satan?”

She tilted her head and made a thinning sound. “That’s kinda accurate.” His eyebrows perked up. “Three of cups is saying to celebrate, to have a good time with those closest to you. They’re all having a good time around a feast see? It’s a sign to spend time with your friends and loved ones, enjoy them and feel the support and community they offer.”

“That sounds good.” He sounded relieved.

“It’s a nice one. Ten of Cups is even better.” See sees him bouncing a little in his seat in excitement. “It’s…” she paused and exhaled a laugh and if Eddie hadn’t been there she might’ve had a few choice words for the guides. “There’s a couple you see, they’re in each other’s arms and happy and the kids are there and everything is green and pretty and there’s a rainbow. It’s a sign of happiness and stability, the end of hardships. It’s emotional fulfillment. It’s an ideal state where you get everything you ever wanted.”

“You’re lying.” He deflects, now suspicious.

“No, I wouldn’t lie about the cards. They’ll tell the truth whether you want it or not.”

He saw her keep her eyes to the cards and he found no sarcasm in her voice. It seemed he found something she took seriously.

“The Devil you can interpret a few ways but it’s about… hedonism.”

“Fuck yeah.” He mutters.

“Hedonism isn’t without its consequences though.” She warned. “It’s about things like lust and pleasure and materialism. But you see, the people aren’t happy. They’re slaves to it. There’s the dark side of selfishness and obsession with all the good things. It’s about having a good time but also being sure it doesn’t go bad. It’s a warning of sorts. Make sure you don’t lose yourself amid hedonism but also remind you you do have control. It’s not saying all good things turn bad. But they could if you don’t keep yourself in check.

“The devil is a complicated man.”

“That he is.” She nodded with pursed lips and wondered if she was being played. Did she pull cards for him or her? She wanted to roll her eyes but didn’t want to have him ask questions.

“So have a good time. Enjoy those closest to you, it’s a good period of happiness and feel amazing and be more than you hoped for but be sure not to lose yourself in it.”

“That’s pretty wise.” He nodded. “This is cool as fuck.” He looked up at her and her face was contemplative. “Do you do this a lot?”

“For myself yeah, for others? Not so much.”

“You know how to make a boy feel special.” He grinned.

“Most people don’t want to hear what they have to say.” She began putting the cards away.

“What do yours say?”

“We don’t want to get into that.” She snorted out a laugh. “I’ve had this deck for a long time and we know each other. Like old friends. And like old friends it fucks with me sometimes. It’s always telling me things I don’t wanna hear. Like a friend calling you on your shit.”

“I won’t pretend to know what the hell you’re talking about but I’m super interested.”

“You can teach me about D and D and I can teach you about my practice.” She proposed, putting the cards back into a box.

“I’d like that.”

“That’s the plan. Party with the party and do witchcraft.” She stood and moved a curtain to show stacks of milk crates to the ceiling and a small sound system standing tall next to it. She put the cards into a wooden box that looked to have some crystals in it. “But now I think we should start with why I really brought you here.” She snapped some knobs and grabbed a large square box.

He slowly turned in the seat and stood, following his curiosity to see what she was doing. He stood over her a good 6 inches taller. He stood behind her and looked her over. “Why’d you really bring me here?” His voice startled her but she didn’t jump. The smooth deepness of it caught her off guard, blinking as she turned and bumped into his chest.

“The music?” Her voice sounded small and inflected upward to show her question of his sudden change in demeanor. “At the diner, I said I wanted to show you some stuff.”

“Oh. Right.” He raises his head, no longer angled down towards her, breaking eye contact to perk back up and make his way back to the bed.

She sat with a large organizer of cassettes as she started to explain her system for storing them.

“All those in that stack are like these, filled up with the labels. You can tell what year or genre they are by the labels on the side.”

“How do you have so many?”

“I stole most of them.” She chuckled.

“Seriously?”

“Afraid so. Easy to swipe one in a busy place if you know what you’re doing.”

“Didn’t take you for a criminal, Star.”

“Really? Do I not just scream teenage rebellion?” She made fun of herself, a hand mockingly to her chest.

“No, you have a don't fuck with me vibe. Very different.” He wags his finger. He could tell she was inquiring further by her raised brows. “Teenage rebellion? It’s petty. It’s not always for a reason. Don’t fuck with me says you’ve gone through some shit and you’re tired of everyone fucking you over. So you want them to just, ya know, fuck off.”

She opens her mouth then closes it and he leans his head in closer to hers. The thought crossed his mind to apologize when he saw the contemplation in her eyes.

“You’re a lot smarter than anyone gives you credit for.” Her face wasn’t smirking and only a soft voice with none of her signature dry humor in it came out and punched him in the chest with the praise. He laughed quietly out of nervousness and not knowing how to react to the nice version of her.

“And you’re a lot nicer than anyone realizes.”

“I can’t hide anything from you can I?” She felt exposed but not in a negative way. She felt seen. “I’m afraid you’re terribly intuitive.” She lets out a sigh. “I’m not mean. Not really. Like you said, you get tired of getting fucked over. When I feel like I can trust someone then that’s when the real me comes out. I learned I can’t give the real me to everyone. They don’t deserve it.” She spoke so poignantly. Eddie saw her at that moment. He saw someone trying to figure it out. Just like he was. She picked at the hem of her sweater as she spoke, he hadn’t realized how small she could be until that moment.

“I know it doesn’t mean shit to say it but, you can trust me.” He reaches out to put his hand on her thigh, giving her reason to meet his face. Her eyes were open and honest and he was swearing himself to keeping them that way. “I understand what you’re talking about. I do. You get hurt so many times you build up scars and you close off yourself. It’s like any other animal trying to protect itself. You put up a defense. It’s just a survival instinct.”

“What’s odd is that I believe you.” She admitted, waiting a moment before putting her hand over his. “My intuition tells me you’re safe. And I’m always inclined to listen to her.”

“What did your cards have to say?” he offered a closed-mouth smile for reassurance.

“I did ask them.” she smiled then, retreating her hand and looking to the direction of the cards. Which also happened to be where her altar was. “They told me to trust you too.”

“That’s a good sign, right?”

“Yes, very.” she nodded in agreement, her eyes glazing and looking far away for a moment. “But-” she cleared her throat and manually relaxed her shoulders. “It’s hard for me to. I don’t have the best track record with men. In any sort of way. Romantic, friends, enemies, it’s not been good.” she found a way to grit out and he felt blessed she was sharing anything with him about herself.

“And for some reason, you wanted to be friends with one that looked scary?” he gave her a comforting smile.

“You’re not scary, Eddie.” she chuckled softly and looked his way again, a pat on his arm. “I can read people well enough to be able to tell if someone is dangerous or not.”

“Yeah. Those hard lessons fucking suck to learn don’t they?” he showed her he understood her experience.

The teapot shrieking interrupts them and they both jump.

“They do.” she switches modes, eyes a bit clearer as she goes through the motions of making her tea. “I don’t mean to bring you over here and dump all this on you. I’m sorry.” she pressed her lips.

“No, it’s fine really. You’ve not dumped anything on me We’re just talking.” he assures her.

“I think I just...” her face winced and she took her time before raising to take a sip of tea. “I needed someone that… gets it. Ya know? Well yeah, you do because I’m talking about you.” she gives a short-lived crooked smile and hums into another big sip. “I’ve just come out of a bad chapter of my life and I left everyone behind and I didn’t realize how lonely it’d be. When you’re in the bad shit you just want out. You don’t think about after.”

“Survival mode.” he nods.

“Right. No one tells you that trying to be a better person and cutting out the bad in your life is so fucking lonely.” her shoulders slumped and she let all her weight rest on her hip against the counter.

“That’s the fucking truth.” he puts his elbows against his knees. “In middle school I did that. I’d been trying to stay friends with these kids I’d grown up with. We knew each other's secrets and watched everyone around us change and I saw that everyone around me was so full of shit. I was trying to figure myself out, hell, we all were. I was so preoccupied with this new version of myself that I didn't notice I was being pushed out. And I kept on trying to connect with them but… they didn’t give a shit. Kids, ya know? Selfish.” he shook his head and sighed. “So I stopped trying. They slowly faded away in the rear view mirror while I drove this new version of me ahead. I had the music, the guitar, and this newfound lease on my life and I cut them out. It wasn’t until that last year I found other people like me, that freshman year was a new start. Now people you used to go crying to are people that hate you. It’s lonely as hell, man. Everything is harder when you’re alone.”

She moved to stand close to him, still hunched over on the bed. “That’s why you care about those kids in your club.” she mused.

“Yeah the little shits.” he huffed out a laugh. “I don’t want to say I saw that you were lonely, because that isn’t it. I saw a lot of myself. And I know if I’d been you, new and alone that I’d want someone that might be able to help make it a little easier.” She unexpectedly held out a hand to him. With curious eyes, he put his own into it.

“You are making it easier.” her voice was almost a whisper. “Two of cups right?” she smiled at him and squeezed his hand before releasing it.

“The cards never lie.” he gave her a bright charming smile and clasped his hands together. She wished she could convey exactly what all that entailed. But knew she couldn’t.

“No they do not.” she smiled knowingly.

Part 3

@kik511999 @banannie255 @paracetamollvrr @honeyshiftss @Vivi-m-b @Agent077knight @simonsbluee @suspirianan @castiels-lilassss @likeficsinthewnd @hollyismentallyillhelplp @eddiesgoodgirlirl @ouuwitchywoman

#Eddie Munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x fem!reader #stranger things #stranger things eddie #stranger things eddie munson #stranger things 4 #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things x reader #stranger things x you #joe quinn #joseph quinn #eddie munson x ofc

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im-a-chunky-potato · 7 months

Note

Sigma has been stressed about casino work and Nikolai is here to cheer him up/ distract him from his anxiety?

This was a really fun idea, thank you Sol! I will say I'm not entirely sure what I think of how I did, but hopefully you enjoy it!

@caffeiiine I'll tag you too so you can see my attempt at writing Siglai as the official siglai mutual

Sigma sighed at his desk and stared at all the papers he had. With the recent rumors of the Decay of Angels spreading around, more and more people started to arrive at the casino to relax.

Now don't get him wrong, he was very happy that his casino was getting this much attention. But now he had to memorize all the new customer's databases and keep this place from bursting into chaos.

And Sigma's just an average man. This task was impossible to do on his own, and he was well aware of that. However, he doesn't trust anyone else to do this job. Nobody else understands the casino like him... nobody else will see his dreams, his hopes for this place.

Sigma gripped the edge of his desk tighter. He would do this. No matter what, he will not dissapoint his customers. He wants this place to feel like a home to them.

His heart stops at that word. Home. The place he doesn't have. He wants one. He wants one so bad. And he was promised one, by Fyodor.

Fyodor. Yes. The leader of the Decay of Angels, who asked him to join. In exchange for this sky casino, he promised to help him out. If the sky casino gets bad reviews, he will fail fyodors mission. He will lose the sky casino and everything he has. He'll lose the chance at a home.

Sigma shakes his head. He needed to focus before he spiraled out of control. So, he glanced at the paperwork again. But... he just couldn't focus. His mind was filled with fear and desperation. He couldn't lose this place. He wouldn't.

Suddenly, a loud slam interrupted his thoughts for a moment. He looked up and saw a familiar face.

"Hello, Sigma! I see this is quite a nice establishment you have here." The man gave a dramatic bow and laughed.

Sigma widened his eyes. "Nikolai, what are you doing here?"

Nikolai smiled. "What, I can't see a friend?" He waved a cane around playfully with his hand.

"Do you remember what happened last time you were here?" Sigma asked. "You nearly committed arson, threatened to murder at least five people, and was banned for life?"

Nikolai smirked. "See! I never did anything wrong. I merely threatened to do bad things. And nobody can control me."

Sigma was suprised... and yet a small smile appeared on his face. This was the Nikolai he knew. The clown of the Decay of Angels. The most completely insanely sane person he's ever met.

Nikolai walked over to his desk and glanced at the paperwork. "How positively boring of you!" He swiped the paperwork off of the table and grabbed his hand. "Come on! Let's do something else and teach you what fun is."

A yellow flash surrounded them both as they appeared in a empty street on Yokohama. Sigma immediately stepped away from him. "Why did you do that? Unlike you, I have better things to do then mess around with people."

Nikolai giggled. "My friend, you forget you are also a member of the Decay of Angels. His voice softened. "Plus I've been keeping an eye on rumors about the sky Casino. You haven't had a break in days!"

Sigma frowned. "So you've been stalking me is what you're saying." But a slight blush appeared on his face. He was flattered that someone cared about him like this.

Nikolai thankfully ignored it and pointed to a building nearby. "Absolutely. Now let's go over there, they have delicious drinks and deserts." Once again, he was grabbed by Nikolai and dragged over to the bakery.

Sigma's lips turned upward. With Nikolai, he never knew what to expect. It was quite entertaining and just what he needed today.

As soon as they walked into the bakery the a sweet aroma wafted through the air. Nikolai ran up excitedly to the counter and looked at all of the desserts. Sigma wasn't far behind, admittedly he needed a sugar boost.

"Hmm I want everything here. Maybe I can just threaten to blow up the shop and get everything for free" Nikolai said excitedly.

Sigma stared at him in shock before shaking his head furiously. "Don't you dare Nikolai. We'll pay for this properly and not cause any damage."

Nikolai sighed. "Fine, but only since you insist. You're paying though, and I want chocolate cake."

Sigma considered fighting back but decided not to. This was the best case scenario after all. "I guess I will. I want a cookie."

After getting their cookie and chocolate cake, Sigma got a great idea. "I know the perfect place to eat this Nikolai."

Nikolai tilted his head curiously and grinned. "Well well, look whos getting into this now. Lead the way, Sigma."

Sigma ignored him and started to walk away from the busy streets of Yokohama. Oddly enough, he felt a swirl of excitement in his chest as he led Nikolai to a small garden.

Nikolai looked around in wonder. The garden was full of blooming flowers and small cherry blossom trees. This placewas beautiful to say the least. "You know, this is quite the romantic spot. Are you implying something?"

Sigma froze before answering in a rush. "No, not at all! Can you not just enjoy a peaceful garden without having thoughts like that?" His face was flushed red.

Nikolai laughed and almost responded, but a small bird interrupted him by chirping a small tune. They watched as it perched on a tree and another bird joined the first one. Together, they created a melody that vertebrates through the hearts of both of the men.

It wasn't until then that Sigma realized he was happier than he had felt in a while. He hadn't even thought about work since this morning, and he didn't want to. He wanted this moment to last forever, just the two of them.

While he was thinking this a hand gently reached out towards his. It was Nikolai's. No words were said, but they both understood each other perfectly. They stayed like this until the birds finished their song and flew off together.

(hstshhb Sorry I am by no means a good writer. Hopefully whoever reads this enjoys it though! BTW no worries, the desserts get eaten<3)

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #nikolai gogol #sigma #siglai

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beevean · 9 months

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Top 10 reason why Hecula is best ship, go!

Oh, but what a fortuitous coincidence :) I vaguely imply that I'd like more asks about Hecula, and lo and behold :) it's almost like you're in hell with me :)

I'm not sure I can rank them, but if you know me, you know which ones are the peak reasons I'm suffering from terminal brainrot <3

I am very weak for the narrative of a person trapped in an abusive relationship who manages to escape and learn that they deserve more. Fits Hector to a T :)

And yet Hector can't fully escape from Dracula. He's still cursed. He's forced to re-learn Devil Forging, the art taught by him from Dracula. He still lost much of his childhood and youth in Dracula's castle. He has to unlearn everything he has learned about being a weapon.

Hector is Dracula's specialest little boy and I love all the hints of how he was favored <3 because he was talented? Because he was cold and efficient like Dracula strives to be? Because he doesn't beg for love like Isaac does? Because he kinda looks like him? You decide. Point is, the mentor/protégé dynamic is very <3

But no, really, Dracula being possessive and overprotective of his precious Hector makes me swoon <3 it's both creepy and lowkey cute <3 he'd gouge the eyes of anyone who deludes themselves to be worthy of looking at Hector's splendor <3 only he can <3 because he deserves the best <3

I love to imagine that Dracula feels ownership towards Hector because he infused him with his own magic. Yes, same goes for Isaac, but... well, he's just not as good at using it :) Hector always makes Dracula proud <3 he's his very precious perfect weapon <3

Hector would care about his Lord. Dracula cherishes him like no one else does... like no one else would, because Hector only knew hatred before running to Dracula, and he welcomed him, and Hector is so grateful to his Lord and would obey him with pride <3 ... up to a certain point.

The symbolism of blood sucking meaning giving away your life, whether you want it or not. Hector threw his life away for Dracula because he needed it, or so he would feel. That's what my idea of Hector having bite scars all over his throat symbolizes. That, and a metaphorical collar he can't get rid of.

Dracula doesn't need any magical tricks to keep Hector on a leash, unlike someone else we know :) He knows his boy well enough to know what to say to him to keep him in line :) I like to think it as psychological warfare, Dracula expertly manipulating Hector, his feelings and what he craves to keep him nice and obedient vs. Hector's unbendable moral code and budding sense of pride (that I imagine that Dracula himself caused by spoiling him too much lol)

In short, I love that there is the potential for two "main" narratives. The one where Hector is groomed from youth to be as perfect and pliable as Dracula wants him to be, and while at first he naively trusts his Lord because he has zero world experience and just wants to be loved, he slowly but surely takes a stand and confirms his worth as a human being. Or the one where there are mutual, genuine feelings between the two - the relationship can never be truly healthy due to the massive power imbalance (which is a big 🥰 for me), but maybe, before Dracula went completely insane, there was a window of time where the two were fond of each other, Hector of his Lord who is always so kind to him, and treasures him, and gave him a reason to live, and Dracula of his strong knight who does his will and is so intelligent and devoted and whose valor may remind him of Leon.

Size difference :P Hector is very pickable in CoD, he gets picked up by normal enemies like the Red Ogre and the Harpies and also by Isaac (which is pretty chad ngl), but ofc, he looks especially small when Drac sips from him :)

I will spam my screenshots until people understand my Vision 😤

There was no need to do this, Drac. No need at all. You just missed you boy. Understandable, but really. yes this does things to my brain

and remember guys: Hecula canon <3

#hecula #thanks for allowing me to gush <3 #i love the them and the more people i drag into my hell the better #but even if it's just the... 4 of us?#it's okay because i have fun <3 #castlevania #<- i have no shame anymore i am the cringe

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tragedyslayer · 1 year

Text

Neteyam x female reader! Part 2

like this chapter a lot more, and It's a little longer! I switched from first person to third person once or twice to get Neteyams' thoughts on things, but let me know if you guys don't like that. Also let me know if there's anything I can improve on. (Also I don't proof read cause Im too excited to post the chapters as I finish them, I will edit my mistakes eventually) Enjoy!

TW: semi detailed description of cutting skin.

Characters are both 18

Part 1

Word count: 2,156

After hearing about Miles, or Spider I guess, it was hard for me to refuse the Na’vi boys' plea for help. So I found myself following him back to his home.

“Are you sure this is a good idea- erm what's your name?”

I asked, realizing we skipped formalities. He looked over his shoulder at me before replying.

“Neteyam, this is a good idea. They will understand where I'm coming from.”

“And if they don't?” I argued, worried I would be shot on sight for coming anywhere near the Na’vi home. Neteyam stopped and turned to look at me. “My father is of the sky people, he saved all the people of pandora. He would not have been able to do that without my mothers trust.”

My eyes widened and I took a good look at Neteyam. I studied his features for a moment before smiling.

“How did I not see it?”

I shook my head, Neteyam had five fingers. Not only that but he had a striking resemblance to Neytiri. Everything made so much more sense now.

“You're Jake's son, that's why Spider was with you.”

Neteyam only nodded in confusion, not understanding why I would care who his father was.

“ Why do you keep bringing up Spider?”

I decided it would be best to wait to reveal my identity, he would understand in time. I shook my head in dismissal before answering him,

“My name is Shyla, I'll explain who I am to your father.”

Neteyam pressed his lips together, clearly unsatisfied by my vague answer.

“If you only intend on telling my father who you are, I'm sorry but I doubt that's possible.”

That wasn't ideal, I knew Jake would understand my position, but when it came to the others I wouldn't blame them if they were quick to judge.

My eyebrows pinched together as I listened to Neteyam. I understood there was nothing he could do, but this wasn't going to work.

“Ok, hear me out.” I raised my hands, gesturing for him to stay with me.

“Take me somewhere, where I can meet with your father. A mutual meeting place, you choose when and where. I know it's not easy to agree to, but do you really want to lead your enemy to your home? How do you think your mother would feel about that?”

Neteyam thought for a beat. I seemed to get through to him, because he sighed before nodding his head in agreement.

We climbed through a maze of trees, he definitely chose somewhere that wasn't easy to get to. He grabbed a vine, turning towards me and extending his arm as an invitation to grab onto him. Before I could argue I looked past the ledge of the tree we were on, the fall wouldn't be a pleasant one. I gave Neteyam a deadpan stare.

“Are you coming or not?”

I pressed my lips together into a line, stepping closer to Neteyam and wrapping my arms around his neck.

“You better not drop me Neteyam.”

Neteyam looked down at the women. He liked the way his name sounded when she said it. Now that he thought about it, he also liked the way he felt with her arms around him. However he didn't like the way he was feeling.

He shook off the thoughts before they could manifest anymore, holding Shyla tight by the waist before jumping off the tree branch.

The pair swung through the air and Syla gasped. Neteyam glanced downward, his confused expression melted away into a smile as he watched the girl. Shyla let out a breathy giggle as they swung through the forest.

They landed on another branch, and Shyla let go of Neteyam, composing herself. Neteyam internally scolded himself for immediately missing her warmth.

“You liked it?”

Neteyam smirked, walking forward through some foliage. I scoffed, not bothering to hide my true amusement, following close behind him.

“It was alright.”

My sorry excuse at feigning indifference didn't go unnoticed. The both of us surfaced from the branches and vines. I took a moment to examine my surroundings. We were completely closed in by rock walls that towered above us, covered in greenery. It was like being in the center of a dormant volcano that became a plant utopia.

“So this is where you intend to hide me?”

I teased, walking further into the grass. Neteyam rolled his eyes, following me.

“You're the one who wants to be hidden.”

He had a point, but I had no intention of giving him the satisfaction of knowing that.

“Whatever”

I laughed under my breath, but it was cut short. A searing pain rang through my body, I yelped before grabbing my forearm.

“What is it?”

Neteyam rushed towards me, taking a hold of my arm and inspecting it.

Suppressing my groans as best I could, I looked at my arm. I had never felt anything like this in my life. Neteyam continued to question me, not knowing what else to do.

“Is something wrong with your avatar?”

Then it clicked, my eyes widened as I looked up to meet Neteyams fixed gaze.

“It's a tracker.’

I Grimaced, pulling a knife from the waistband of my pants.

“What are you doing?!”

Neteyam grabbed my wrist, stopping my blade.

“I can't let them find us!”

My reasoning didn't seem to convince Neteyam. I sighed before groaning at another shock of pain.

“Listen, it's either you leave me here, or I take out this tracker.”

Neteyam knew she was right, but he still hated the idea of Shyla mutilating herself.

Neteyam slowly let go of my wrist, giving me a worried expression.

I reassured him the best I could with a half hearted grin before lowering the knife to my arm. I took a deep breath before slicing through. I Gasped, trying my best to keep my hand steady.

“Fuck”

I weeped, dropping the knife after finishing my incision. I could tell Neteyam wanted to help but had absolutely no way of doing so. Biting the inside of my cheek I took my thumb and index finger, and dug into the cut. The taste of blood filled my mouth but I was in too much pain to care. After a few short moments that felt like an eternity I retrieved the tracker.

Neteyam took it from me and smashed it with the end of my knife while I held my arm.

“Keep pressure on the wound”

Neteyam complied without question, and I grabbed a bandana I had in my cargo pants, wrapping it around the wound. Neteyam tightened the not, causing a yelp of pain to escape my throat.

“Sorry,”

He grimaced, and I glared up at him.

“At least you came prepared.”

A smile tugged at my lips, and I shook my head.

“You really are stupid.”

The sound of a helicopter overhead interrupted the conversation.

Me and Neteyam gave each other a knowing look before he dragged me toward the walls of the enclosure.

“Shit”

Neteyam mumbled, it was the middle of the day and the sun illuminated every inch of the surrounding area.

“Over there!”

I urged, and we ran toward a slight overhang that conveniently had vines growing over it that provided some coverage.

Neteyam pushed his back to the wall, and I stood pressed against his chest. Both of our breaths stopped as the helicopter flew directly over the opening of what once was a hiding spot. Neither of us moved an inch until long after the sound of the helicopter dissipated. I let out a sigh of relief, wondering how the hell we got away with that.

“That was close.”

Neteyam agreed,

“Too close.”

Then I realized how close we were to one another. I could feel the vibration of Neteyams rapid heart rate on my shoulder blade. His hands were cupped around my arms, and it was shocking how large they were. I couldn't imagine how large he would be compared to my human form.

I swallowed the dryness away in my throat, as Neteyam let go of my arms. I took that as my que to step away.

We both emerged from the shadows cautiously, I looked at Neteyam,

“If they got my location before we destroyed the tracker they would have already been here.”

That was the best I could do at reassuring him. At the mention of the tracker a panicked expression took over Neteyams face.

“Your arm!”

He grabbed my wrist, tugging it, somehow gently, towards him. I had bled through the cloth, which granted was not ideal.

“I have to take you home, now.”

I pulled my arm away shaking my head.

“No! I can wait, I'm fine really.”

Neteyam looked at me with disbelief,

“Are you serious Shyla? Why won't you come with me?”

Neteyams tone turned subtly sour as he spoke. I could have been misunderstanding his expression, but he seemed hurt. I bit my lip, contemplating every decision I made to lead me to this point. I took a sharp breath in, deciding there wasn't much to lose.

“I'm spider's sister.”

There was silence for a long moment. Neteyam just stared at me, and I probably looked like I was going to throw up.

Neteyam laughed and I just watched, not able to understand any part of his actions.

“Why would that be a bad thing?”

Neteyam offered me a sympathetic smile, and it unintentionally made me melt. I sighed, focusing on the more important topic of conversation.

“Because…my fathers back.”

That's when Neteyams expression matched my own, he was horrified. All I felt was shame, I wish I could go back to saying my father was dead.

Neteyam insisted on bringing me back to the Na’vi base, reassuring me that I wouldn't have to tell anyone who I was until I was reunited with Spider. I spent the walk explaining that I was born on Pandora, and did not go back to earth tell my dad died. I explained that I was very young, and did not have a say in much of anything.

“So, you knew my parents? And Grace?”

I smiled slightly, shrugging in reply,

“Kind of, Like I said I was young, but yes I spent some time with them.”

Neteyam matched my smile, his pace quickened.

“You have nothing to worry about, they will think of you as someone to protect.”

My expression hardened and I thought for a moment, no one has ever wanted to protect me in my life. I've always just been a soldier, dying meant serving my planet to my fullest. Neteyam slowed, watching my expression.

“Is something wrong?”

I pulled myself away from the thought and looked up at him. I laughed, shaking my head.

“No, I'm sorry.”

Neteyam shook his head,

“Don't be.”

I don't remember much of Jake Sully, but that was him to a tee.

Before I could reply someone sprinted out of the woods and tackled me. I didn't let the utter shock stop me from fighting back. In a matter of seconds I was on top of the culprit with my knife to their throat.

“Lo’ak!”

Neteyam hissed, and I relaxed my arm, not pressing it into the boy's skin any longer. After the initial adrenalin wore off, I got a chance to observe the boy who attacked me, he looked familiar.

“Your brother?”

I chuckled, getting off of Lo’ak. Neteyam sighed, roughly pulling Lo’ak to his feet.

“What the hell are you doing?”

Lo’ak shrugged off his brother, furrowing his eyebrows together.

“I thought you needed my help!”

The boy defended himself, and I couldn't help but laugh under my breath. Both of the men looked at me, expecting an explanation for what I found so funny.

“Sorry, it's just, that lame excuse for an attack wasn't gonna help anybody.”

Neteyam also found that funny, chuckling as well. Lo’ak looked at his brother in utter disbelief.

“What are you doing brother? She is a sky person.”

He mumbled, as if it was some kind of secret. I pressed my lips together, maybe the Na’vi wouldn’t be as understanding as Neteyam promised.

Neteyam lightly pushed his brother's shoulder as a form of scolding.

“So is dad, and Kiri’s mom.”

Neteyams argument made Lo’ak shut up, but he still didn't seem to agree with the situation.

“You will get an explanation soon, but for now we have to get Shyla home.”

Neteyam started walking but Lo’ak protested.

“To our home?! No, no, no.”

Neteyam shot Lo’ak a death glare, and there was no arguing after that.

Tag List

@liyahsocorro

#neteyam fluff #neteyam x oc #neteyam x y/n #neteyam sully #neteyam x reader #fanfic #avtar #neteyam x you #sully family

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artemiseamoon · 2 years

Text

Pt 1: It wasn’t supposed to be this

A narcos mx one shot | Calderoni x Slate f agent*

Words: 6,200 | read on A03

Fic info | pt 2 | pt 3 | pt 4 -finale

An: I made an exception and posted this in full. Anyway, I’m going back to my system after this, just previews on tumblr.

Warnings: violence, mention of injuries and blood, drinking, vague sexual content, drug traffickers, character deaths, lots of angst

Narcos disclaimer: I fully understand how sensitive all this is, which is why I struggled with writing for the show or not. But, I do, and I enjoy it so don’t plan to stop anytime soon. The show is naturally a very real trigger, so off the bat, you are triggered, block the narcos tag. I’m only one of many who write for this show (I blame the actors, it’s their fault, they charmed us). Filter the tag and save yourself and the writers unnecessary exchanges. Criminals, drug traffickers, drugs, really bad people who hurt so many are talked about in this show. In writing these little stories I’m not trying to erase that or gloss it over. Now that I’ve said my peace, remember it’s fully your choice if you continue and your fault if you get upset not mine. Last, if you don’t like the fic/story just move on. Plenty of other things to read. Don’t waste my time. Plenty of other fics around.

The full realization of what happened last night hit during the shower. She drank a lot; this job is stressful, and she usually limited herself to one beer or one drink as a calming agent for a few reasons; to keep in control and to avoid letting her defenses down.

Last night, she lost both those battles and ended up in bed with the Calderoni. Slate couldn't put her finger on why she was drawn to him. They didn’t trust him, she didn’t either he’s not even her usual type but there was something about him.

As they worked with him over the last four weeks, she shoved her curiosity away and denied it was real. She chalked it up to horniness, it had been a very long time since she got laid; a full two months before she came down on this mission. And hooking up locally was out of the question, with anyone in her team? An absolute no, a completely bad idea. Living in abandoned warehouse with a bunch of dudes really limited her private time, so self-pleasure was also not an option.

Maybe all the drinking, combined with a need to get laid led to this. Still, Calderoni didn’t seem like the type to just end up in someone's bed. The man was like a fucking wall; he said what he had to say, made his point, and wasn’t trying to make friends. So maybe the curiosity was mutual, had to be.

Calderoni never outright flirted with Slate, in fact, she was sure he was pretty indifferent to her at first. But then she caught it, the briefest lingering stares, the short, well-hidden glances when he thought she wasn’t looking. At the time, she didn’t know if the attention excited her, scared her, or a little of both.

Slate was thankful he was gone upon waking, seeing him in the light of day, would make all of this worse and she was pretty sure Walt was likely losing his shit because she hadn’t checked in yet. To be fair, she wasn’t that late, just 10 minutes or so. But he already wasn’t a fan of her leaving the place for the night, no matter what bullshit reason she gave him.

...

Walking into the warehouse after a night in a real bed and a decent hotel made it feel gritter than usual. With her shades still on, Slate found the guys gathered into one room.

“Look who decided to join us.” Ossie commented with a grin.

Slate flipped him off and he chuckled. She sat on the edge of the L shaped countertop and sipped her coffee.

Though she felt Walt's stare, she didn’t make eye contact. “I needed a night away from all you stinky boys and a damn shower.”

The reply seems good enough for most, except Walt, who continued to observe her.

She's not too worried though, she's known him a long time. “So, fill me in, what's going on.” She sets the coffee cup aside.

Walt took out a cigarette, lit it, then caught her up with the few minutes she missed.

-The Next day-

Back pressed against the wall, Slate crossed her arms and listened intently as Calderoni addressed the room. It took some work, but she was able to shift the events from a day ago to the back of her mind.

“Felix was in Panama last month, meeting with members of the Cali Cartel.” He walked into the center of the room, hands in his pockets. His profile was still facing the group.

“What was on the agenda?” Walt asked. Calderoni made eye contact with him and stopped walking.

Calderoni responded, “Not sure, but it ended with Felix committing to move more weight. Lots more.”

“Why now?”

"El Padrino’s feeling the pressure.” Calderoni switched to Spanish at this point.

With the tension between the plazas, this intel could be a big win; it had to be connected. Slate and Ossie look at each other, then back at Calderoni.

Calderoni rested his palms flat against the table. “There’s been talk of major construction somewhere outside of Juarez.”

“Construction of what?” Daryl asked.

“Runways.” Calderoni responded. He flipped open the folder he previously placed on the table. Everyone moved closer, including Slate. Walt remained on the opposite side of the table, beside Calderoni.

Calderoni continued, “Amado Carrillo Fuentes. Used to be some kind of pilot, among other things.” Walt examined the file as Calderoni addressed at the group, “Now, Felix has him buying up passenger planes.”

Slate doesn’t hold his gaze for too long, she breaks away first and leans over the table to view the file. This is weird. Just play it cool.

Gaining control of her thoughts again, Slate’s eyes moved to Walt as he spoke. “Federation’s building their own air fleet.”

“And running it out of Juarez.” It’s the first comment she’s made since the meeting started; her voice almost felt unfamiliar to her ears.

Walt adds, “Yeah, if we can pin down Felix’s distribution hub, then we can unlock his entire route network.” Walt hands the file over to Danilo.

Daryl spoke next, “Track shipments across the border, pick them up one by one.”

“That’s right,” Walt nodded, “bleed the motherfucker.”

Done with the file, Danilo passed it to Slate who looked it over before passing it to Ossie and Amat.

Walt leaned over the table. “Starve him of his cash until the government cuts him off.” His eyes met Daryl's. “You know, hang him out to dry.”

“Now, we need to track Amado and the purchase of planes. Especially in large numbers. Maybe discount sales.” Slate said.

Calderoni made eye contact with her, before addressing the group again, “well, Amado just bought a one-way ticket to Belmopan, Belize.”

“What the fuck for?” Ossie asked.

Slate looked at him, then Walt, “Let me guess, an out of business airline getting rid of planes?”

Impressed, Calderoni raised a brow. “That’s where Aero Tropical is based. It’s an airline. It used to be. They just declared bankruptcy. They’re liquidating their entire fleet at an auction next week.”

Walt’s eyes scanned the group, “Looks like we're going to Belize.”

-One week later, Belize-

This might be a win, and it feels damn good.

At the same time. Slate doesn’t get her hopes up. Wins were rare in this work, it's something one just got used to and had to find a reason to keep pushing, to keep trying to make some kind of difference. Some days it was easier than others. But right now, she feels glad she said yes when Walt asked, maybe all this could amount to something useful.

Though they’re here for work, it feels good being in a different setting, like a breath of fresh air. Not just because of the dusty ass warehouse, but because of the whole Calderoni situation.

What happened that night, when she grabbed a drink at the same bar he happened to be at, was never discussed. She went about her job like nothing happened, and even after the meeting last, he didn’t say anything extra to her; just spoke to her as needed according to the situation.

It seemed like that was the end of things. One messy ass slip up. One very wrong but sensual one night stand. Just as Slate was making amends with that fact, she found a little envelope slipped into her jacket pocket after he left.

She stepped away to the broken-down bathroom for privacy. Inside the small envelope was a room key, she recognized it from the other night, same hotel. They had eyes on him the whole time, how he got it in here? She wasn’t sure. On the back of the little envelope was some kind of code, but once she figured it out, she deciphered it as a time and a vague date.

One of the things about being on this crew is most of their time was spent sitting around, talking, coming up with plans, going over information for the 1000th time. Action was few and far in between. Now with this trip to plan, she knew she couldn't get away in the coming days, but from the code on the back, Calderoni was aware of that too.

She didn’t use the key until 5 days later, once all the travel plans were set and all their new equipment arrived. She didn't know if it was pure curiosity, or if she really wanted to see him again; but something led her to that room.

Upon stepping in, she was gently swept inside. Once the door was closed, and locked, his lips met hers. There was no talking, no conversation, just two people swept up in desire and need.

-Flashback-

After drying off with the towel, Slate started to get dressed. Calderoni was still in bed. Though her back was to him, she felt his eyes on her, but didn’t turn around.

“Being seen together once at the bar was dangerous enough, we need to be careful.” She slid her jeans back on and pulled the zipper up.

He sighed behind her, but it had a more relaxed tone to it.” Neither of us knew the other would be there.”

“Because it’s so out of the way.” She glanced at him over her shoulder with a smirk,” that was my hidden spot. Now I have to find another.”

“No,” he sat up against the headboard, “it was mine, then you showed up.”

She turned to face him, “I barely leave the safe house, except a couple of times to get a drink there. Now, I don’t even have that.” She poked his arm playfully.

Calderoni shrugged,” shit happens.”

“Asshole.” Slate chuckled and glanced at her watch. “I need to get back. And, if this happens again, we cannot come to his hotel.”

He didn’t respond right away. Instead, he inched closer and gently caressed her bare back with his fingers. “Relax, there won't be any issue with this place. Trust me.”

Calderoni moved his fingers from her back to her arm, making feather light strokes over her soft skin.

“We’ll have to end this.” He said, his fingers wrapping around her arm with a tight grip before pulling her closer to him.

“I know.” Slate steadied herself with one hand as he drew her into another kiss. Her other hand cupped the side of his face. In between kisses, she whispered, “last time?”

“Last time, or” he slid one of his hands behind her head, “second to last time? Third to last?”

Slate smiled and kissed him once more before breaking away. “I guess we’ll see where the cards fall.” With her lips still tasting of him, she finished getting dressed and grabbed her things.

“I’ll have one of my guys drive you back, drop you off a block away.” He pushed the sheet off and started gathering his clothes. He stopped to look back at her, “Be careful.”

Slate tapped her holstered pistol then moved toward the door, “I usually am.”

-Flashback over-

Belize is beautiful, Slate reminds herself to come back some time, after all this is over and long in the past.

Glancing to her left, she sees Walt using the binoculars. To his left is Ossie, Danilo, then her. Amat, Daryl and Sal are taking care of the other end of things in Juarez.

The auctioneer: Next we have a 1779 Boeing 727, registration number N-1779. Featuring forward and rear galleys. Currently featuring 12 first class seats and 136 coach seats and this aircraft is ready, willing, and able…”

Her eyes drop to Danilo’s hands and his notes.

“We can get in through the north side of the fence. Bad sight line for security,” Ossie said quietly to Walt. They are in the furthest row from the auction, nosebleed seats with no one sitting directly next to them. But there are a few people in the row before them.

Walt replied, “Cut through. Two in, two outside for lookout.” He hands the binoculars over until they make it Slate. She takes a look and listens as they continue to talk.

Ossie, “We need radios. A ladder too.” he paused, chewing his gum. “We can get in through the rear airstairs, under the fuselage.”

“You figure it’s open? Can you even lock up a fucking 727?”

Ossie grinned.” Either way, I can pop the lock.”

“Of course, you can. Troublemaker” Slate commented with a smile. And for a fleeting second, a tiny grin flashed on Danilo's stoic expression too.

Ossie continued grinning for a little longer. Light banter is exchanged between the guys, with little interjection by Danilo.

“I definitely went astray somewhere,” Ossie stared straight ahead, “end up sitting here with you three broke motherfuckers.”

Danila makes a micro expression in response, Slate chuckled, and Walt turned to him,

“I got an amen to that.”

Slate adjusted her shades, while holding her grin a little longer, "You mean four broke motherfuckers.”

-Later that night-

The night sky was dark and starless; the only light is coming from the airstrip, the guard center, and the city in the distance.

Slate took a ground position, on the other side of where Danilo is in the jeep. Covering both angles was a good idea, and so far, everything was going as planned. With the mics, they could all hear and communicate with each other.

Carefully concealed, with a good vantage point, Slate continued watching through the binoculars.

Walt over the mic, “okay talk to me. Are we clear?”

“He’s still there.” Slate answered.

Danilo is watching the same thing she is. “Okay, hold on…"Up ahead the guard left the center and stepped outside. “Guard moving”

Slate and Danilo watch him enter this vehicle and head for the landing strip.

“He’s making his rounds.” She said,

Danilo waited a moment, then gave them the signal, “All clear. You’ve got three minutes. Go!”

Adrenaline pumped through her veins as she waited. Her eyes dropped down to her watch, 2 minutes and 55 seconds to go.

55 seconds later, Danilo’s voice met their ears, “2 minutes, get a move in it.”

Two seconds passed by.

“Heads up. Security on the move.” She leaned forward, following the guards' movements. A nervous flutter filled her stomach. “Fuck, come on guys, hurry up.” She muttered under her breath. The guard's jeep is getting closer to where the guys are.

“Walt - " Danilo warned.

“Yeah, yeah. We see him. We see him.”

Ossie and Walt exchanged a few words, as Ossie worked on the lock.

Danilo, growing increasingly concerned, spoke again, “Walt, you’re running out of time.”

Slate watched closely with bated breath as the guys finally made it inside the plane. She continued holding her breath until the craft door closed. The guard drove by almost immensely after. “Thank fucking god,” she exhaled.

Everything fell quiet for a moment. The guard was now headed to Danilo's view and was out of hers.

Danilo's voice was next over the mic, “He’s going out again. You’ve got three minutes. Move!”

If Slate smoked, she would have a cigarette right now. She hated the things too much to ever indulge.

-Minutes later-

Danilo drove as Walt slipped a cigarette between his lips. His expression full of pride as he glanced back at Ossie. “Six for six baby. He’s a goddamned artist.”

Danilo glanced back through the rear-view mirror, “nice work”

A closed mouth smile grew on Ossie's face. “Thanks man.”

Sitting there, next to him, it almost feels like a proud father kind of moment, in both the way Danilo speaks and holds himself, and Ossie’s response.

Slate gently nudged him, “Nice job, that shit’s impressive as hell.”

Ossie’s smile grew a little wider, “thank you.”

Slate settled her eyes on the landscape through the window again. It’s been a while since everything felt so hopeful, and she hoped this is a feeling they can hold on to a little longer.

-Juarez - Early morning, Chiapas airfield-

Standing on the rocky dry edge, the group waited as Walt viewed the plane and its inhabitants, which included Amado.

Walt lowered the binoculars and turned to his team. “Alright. Find a spot to set up surveillance. Two teams. Sal, me and Amat work the first rotation.” he handed the binoculars to Sal. “This is it.” Walt paused. “Fuckin’ A.”

- Flashback, the day before -

The coffee was still too hot to drink, Slate placed it on the floor and fixed her eyes on Walt. The team is in a half circle, some sitting, some standing, all facing Walt the evidence board.

The room is fuller than usual, there are 4 more guys present, Slate didn’t know them, but she assumed they were working with Walt too, just in a less direct way up until this point. But, if they were about to do what she thinks Walt is going to suggest, they need all the help they can get. The odds are far out of their favor.

“We’ve been over the risks.” Walt takes his time, making eye contact with each one of them. “But I want to be really clear on something. This is no longer the same job you’ve been hired for.” he moved into the center of the circle, “We have no support on this. Shit goes south, it’s on us. Believe me, this is not worth the shitty stipend you’ve been getting paid. Some of you have kids and families.”

Walt continued, his eyes on the other guys now, “Just because you’ve been helping us run surveillance and have known this asshole your whole life, doesn’t mean you're locked in, so if any of you are feeling any hesitation or nervousness, you need to tell me now.”

The room falls dead silent.

Slate stared down at the ground as her mind worked overtime. If they were lucky, a few of them would make it out, but not all, and she didn’t know what side she’d be on. A lifetime of trying to make a difference and help, just to die on some floor like so many others. It’s not what she wanted, but it’s a realistic outcome to all this.

Or, she could go home, pack her bags and head back to the states. It felt like the easy way out, especially after everything, even if it was the safest option. Though her answer scares her, she’s not a quitter, or a runner; she's seeing this through, no matter how terrifying that thought is.

Ossie was the first to speak, he asked “We do this, we cripple Felix’s entire operation?”

From where Slate is sitting, she could see the serious look in his eyes, the determination, she knows his answer too.

“Si.” Walt answered with a nod.

“Fuck being nervous.” Ossie said with more umph to his words. “We’ll never get this chance again.” He flashed a half smile, then looked at Daryl, “come on, let’s do this shit.” Ossie kept his eyes on Daryl and extended his hand.

Never a man of many words, Daryl leaned in and affirmed his answer with a brief slap to Ossie's hand. He then set his eyes on Walt. Slate glanced at Danilo whose eyes were cast down, his left brow slightly raised. With a small head nod, Danilo confirmed his answer, yes.

In short succession, Amat and Sal also say yes, followed by Slate and the remaining guys.

Walt proceeded. “Okay, let’s fucking cripple it.”

-Flashback over-

-Now -

“All right, everybody be safe out there. I’ll be in your ear. Stay alert, stay alive.”

Slate’s original station was on the high point, back at the jeep with Daryl, until shit hit the fan. It started with the overhead lights of the airstrip coming on, followed by yelling. She didn’t know it at the time, but Danilo was shot dead then.

“Fuck!” Slate grabbed a rifle and ran for the trees.

“Slate!”

“I’m going to help!” She called back at Daryl before disappearing into the trees. Running as fast as her legs would take her, she made it down the side of the ridge.

Eventually she made it to the guys and ducked behind the red flatbed truck where Amat and Sal were, both firing from either side, she announced herself as he approached, to avoid getting shot by one of her guys.

With a quick glance to her left, she saw Walt pulling a badly wounded Ossie to the side of the yellow truck, Danilo was nowhere in sight; neither were the extra four guys. Bodies are already piling up in the airstrip.

“Ossie! “She called out,” are you okay?”

“No! We’re fucking pinned!” Walt yelled back. “We gotta move!”

Amat takes cover behind driver's seat door and aims his rifle, then fires, “And fucking go where!”

Sal stayed low to the ground on the other side of the truck, “let’s head to the mountains!”

“We’ll never make it!”

Slate could barely hear Amat over the shattering glass and bullets. What's left of the truck's windows are gone, she lowers her head and shields her face from shards of glass before taking fire again.

Two tires of the truck get shot , the truck titles with a slant. Walt kneeled to the ground and shields Ossie from the continuous gunfire.

Sal was behind the truck now, with Slate, “what the fuck else are we gonna do?”

Slate’s eyes jumped to Ossie again, she needed to get to him. She takes a few more shots and makes a run to the yellow truck, then ducks behind it. “We have to do somethin, or we’re going to fuckin die!”

Staying low to the ground, Slate made her way over to Ossie and Walt. She covered them, continuing to fire as Walt turned Ossie over.

Ossie was in bad shape, her eyes jumped from him and Walt, and back to the caret ahead. Walt kneeled on the ground, over Ossie,

Ossie gritted his teeth, pushing through the pain, "Walt, wait. The keys are in the truck, right?”

Walt continued checking his injury, “the fuck are you talking about?”

“I’m fucking dying, man!”

Slate continued to fire back while trying to hear what Ossie is saying to Walt. A heavy feeling of dread washed over her.

“Hang on Ossie! You can make it dammit!” She yelled, her eyes trained ahead; she's working twice as hard to take out as many as she could.

Ossie’s voice was strained when he responded, “no I, won’t Slate.” Even with his hand in the way, they could see the blood pouring out of his gunshot wound. Its fatal, the organs, right under the hem of the fucking vest.

She looked down to find his wet eyes on her. Above him, Walt was still. Slate cursed under her breath and lowered to the ground, by Ossie and Walt.

“Don’t die on me asshole, we have rock concerts to see.”

“Rock out for me,” he forced a grin then looked at Walt, “Please, Walt. Let me fuckin' do this!” he grunted.

The cartel pressed forward, Slate rose back to her feet and returned fire. Walt joined in, then returned to Ossie.

“I can help you get out. Get me in the truck.”

Amat, Sal, and Slate continued to fire. She catches sight of Walt helping Ossie into the truck.

Part of her wanted to run to them, to convince Ossie not to do whatever he’s going to do; but they were dangerously outnumbered, and the cartel continued to get closer and closer.

“Walt, what the fuck are you doing!” Amat called out.

Once Ossie was in the truck, Walt stood on the driver's side door, “cover me!”

Walt made his way to the passenger side where Slate was. Before she could ask a question or, think a thought, Ossie was already moving, driving the truck head on into the cartel as they littered it with bullets. In seconds, he ran over some of the cartel and ran the truck into the gas tank. A huge red-orange fire erupted with black smoke.

With feet hitting the ground hard, Slate, Walt, Amat and Sal ran for the woods, returning fire over their shoulders as they sped away. They had no idea how many the explosion killed, but it did what Ossie said it would, it gave them cover to run.

Walt and Sal reached the tree line first. Amat and Slate stop to take out a few more guys. Slate is first back on her feet, Amat just steps behind her until she heard a body drop. Taking a fearful glance back, she saw Amat was down and continued to zig zag as she ran.

Finally reaching the trees, Slate looked around for Walt and Sal as her heart banged in her chest. Spotting them to her left, she limped over, careful to stay in the shadows.

Walk grabbed her arm and pulled her deeper into the shadows, his eyes moving from her to Sal.

“This is on me.” He pushed Sal forward, “get the fuck back the safe out, both of you, Go!”

Sal looked ahead where Amat was, hesitated then turned to run.

“Get the fuck out of there Slate!”

“I’m not leaving you out here alone!” She walked past him and crouched down, “we’re both making it out of this!”

“Fuck!” Walt crouched down too, the both of them peering through the trees. He would drag her back if he could, make her leave; but there’s no time for it right now, and there’s no way he's going to leave one of his alone out here.

A car pulled up, even in the dark of the night, the sight of it makes Slate’s heart drop. She knows that fucking car; it’s a black Cadillac. Her grip tightened on her pistol; her throat was closing up.

An ill feeling washed over her as Amat laid on his back ahead, a guy on either side of him, rifles trained on his body. Each time their fallen friend groaned, the sicker she felt. Slate shut her eyes quickly then opened them, she hoped the person getting out of that car is a stranger, maybe he just has the same car as -

“You guys got one?”

It’s his voice. His fucking voice.

“Fuckers still alive.”

Calderoni came into full view, the car lights on him like a spotlight, his right hand raised; gun in hand and ready to shoot. Calderoni then shoots both the cartel guys, each one a kill shot to the head.

He kneeled down beside Amat, Slate and Walt were too far away to hear what Amat was trying to say as he spit up blood. Slate narrowed her eyes and saw Amat motion back to them with his head, followed by Calderoni looking that way.

It seemed he was helping Amat up when four guys came running in the near distance. Calderoni dropped Amat, looked back at the guys, then fired once, killing Amat. Walt shut his eyes and lowered his head.

Slate gripped the tree tighter and closed her eyes, tears fell down her cheeks. Her eyes were still closed when Calderoni addressed the men.

“One went that way, and the other went that way.” She opened her eyes to see him pointing in the opposite direction, then another wrong one. “Run, you can still catch them.” The smaller group quickly broke off, leaving Calderoni alone again.

“Stay behind me.” Walt orders as he aims his pistol at Calderoni.

“You out there Walt?” Calderoni takes a step closer, also ready to fire. Then another, the two men inched forward. “There’s nowhere to go.”

“What the fuck did you do?” Walt asked, his eyes glued on him.

“What you made me.” He paused. “If you hadn’t cut me off, I could have warned you this would happen. They found the transponders two days ago. You walked into a trap. But you wanted to go your own way.” Another pause. "He deserved to walk away Walt, they all did. But they were never going to. You made sure of it.”

Slate moved over slightly; a sliver of her face came into Calderoni's view.

Calderoni raised his chin, his brows tensed as he looked at her. He released a heavy sigh, then shifted his eyes back to Walt.

“You should have been the one to die tonight, Walt. But I’m going to let you live.” His eyes moved back to Slate. “Get the fuck out of here and don’t stop walking until you hear them speak English.”

Slate took a step back and gently placed a hand on Walt's arm. They had to get the fuck out here, there was no winning. Even if they could get a shot at Calderoni, dozens of men would descend upon them, and they had no chance of surviving that.

Walt slowly stepped back, his face eventually disappearing from Calderoni’s view.

Late that night at the warehouse

Slate trudged up the dark staircase behind Walt. With the rush of adrenaline gone, the pain in her leg came back full force. Her skin is coated in dirt, sweat, blood; hers and others.

“Who else made it out?”

Daryl appeared first; Walt walked right past him. Slate stopped in place and made eye contact but couldn’t find the words to speak. Her eyes then darted to Sal, who stepped into the room next.

Daryl’s eyes landed on Slate again, then Walt.

“Walt! Who else made it out?”

Walt pulled out a chair at the desk and sunk down into it with a silent breath. He looked broken, completely broken and more fragile than she’s ever seen him before, even counting the times she was around him back home.

Slate sniffled and shook her head, no, to Daryl.

Walt put the gun down, and when he finally spoke his voice was shaky and low, “ eveyones gone.”

Daryl paced, hands on his hips, shaking his head in disbelief. Sal sat on a nearby bench, slouched over and lowered his head, his hands clasped together.

Slate leaned against the nearby wall and looked up at the ceiling, swallowing the lump in her throat and trying to will the tears in her eyes to stop.

-Five days later-

Slate tapped the rim of the glass and watched as the bartender refilled the drink.

“Thanks.”

She quickly knocked it back and lowered the glass to the counter. They were out of Mexico in less than a day. Since being back, it’s been meetings and other bullshit, but to a lesser extent than whatever Walt had to do, since this was his operation. After her last meeting, Slate put in her request for extended leave; she turned down her reassignment papers.

It felt wrong, being back. Maybe she was supposed to die out there. She hasn’t slept much because all she sees is dead friends, especially Amat and Ossie. Then there’s another ghost haunting her waking and sleeping hours. The man she shared a bed with and later watched as he shot her friend and teammate dead. A man she snuck off to see two more times before the trip to Belize and Juarez, a man she had a weird comfort with she could never describe or explain away. A man she now hated with every bone in her body.

She felt betrayed by him. Even if he had a point, even if playing both sides was the only way to get shit done there. Even with that understanding, she still felt angry, and hurt.

Though they all knew death was a possibility when they didn’t walk about that room, none of them deserved that. Not even the ones who had to do sketchy shit in the past. They did not deserve to die; not Ossie, not Amat, not Danilo. From the brief conversation she had with Walt, Ossie and Amat were denied what he promised them, and written off as criminals.

Three weeks later

Slate got out of the elevator and turned left to her new apartment. She wasn’t sure how much it would help, a new city and a new place, but she was desperate at this point to shake the events of Mexico.

Two doors away from her own, she stopped cold in her tracks. A familiar face stared back at her, dark brown eyes, hair combed back, his arms crossed.

The moment their eyes met, he uncrossed his arms and stepped forward, using a calming tone to speak, “you’re a hard woman to find.”

Slates heart rate sped up with each step toward Calderoni. “Get the fuck out of here!”

He called her by her real name and raised a hand, in an attempt to calm her down. “Take it easy.”

“Take it easy! Take it easy!” She rushed toward him and shoved him hard in the chest, he barely budged, and remained rooted on the ground.

Slate shoved him again, this time tears coming to her eyes. He grabbed her shoulders and lowered his eyes to hers.

“Calm down. Can we talk? Inside?”

She wants to shoot him, to take every bad feeling in her body and mind out on him. Down the hall, a door opened, someone stepped out.

Slate cursed under her breath and tore herself away from his strong grip. After fumbling with her keys, she got the door open, went inside, then slammed it in his face.

Distraught, she headed to the Livingroom and sat on the couch, covering her face with her hands. When the door opened, she jumped to her feet and retrieved the gun she kept hidden behind a desk.

Calderoni didn’t budge at the sight; or show any signs of worry.

“I can’t stay long. Put the gun away.”

“No! You set us up!”

Calderoni stood directly in front of her and pried the gun from her hands. He clicked the safety back on and put it aside.

“Listen to me, “he lowered voice, “I did not set you up.”

Slate stared at him; he could see her mind going a mile a minute. She was also trying to decide if she believed him or not.

“It’s not as simple as you, Walt, and those agents who try to help think it is. Everyone, even the good guys, need to be bad and make some grey calls. It’s the only way. You’re smart, you know that Slate.”

She pulled her eyes from his and sat on the couch again.

“Those guys didn’t deserve that, I meant what I said.”

She shook her head and pressed her palms into her knees. “Why didn’t you warn us? Me?” She raised her eyes to his.

“I would have, you heard what I said out there. I was telling the truth.”

Slate rounded her shoulders, getting smaller on the couch. She shrugged weakly and stared at the floor.

“Hey,” Calderoni took a seat next to her on the couch, “I hoped you weren’t there. That you were smart enough to say no and go home.”

She turned her head to shoot him a dark look, “and abandoned the team? What kind of person do you think I am?”

Calderoni started to speak, then stopped himself. It was properly for the better, Slate was nearly shaking with anger now.

“We’ll talk about this, if not now, later, when you’re ready.”

She clenched her jaw, speaking through gritted teeth, “I never want to see you again.”

Calderoni lowered his gaze. He reached out and carefully placed a hand on her thigh. Her eyes dropped down to his hand, but she didn’t move it.

“Tell me to fuck off in the morning, but for now, “he raised his eyes to hers, “let me be here for you, even if it’s in silence.” he forces a small smile. “Keep the gun close if you want.”

Slate scoffed and stared at the table before them. Calderoni stood, retrieved the gun, and put it in her hands before sitting back down.

He watched as she looked it over, turning it, then placed it on the table.

Shooting him could feel cathartic, or it could make her feel worse.

Slate exhaled and closed her eyes. When she spoke, her voice was barely a whisper, “I don’t want to look at a fucking gun again for a while. I’m so fucking tired - I’m tired - “she let her head hang low.

A moment later she felt his hand on her back, caressing her in a slow circular motion. At first, she stilled to his touch, then, she relaxed into it. With his right hand, he slid two fingers under her chin, angling her face to his. She opened her eyes.

Slate wanted to scream, to yell, to kick him, to use a time machine and take saying yes to this job back; but she couldn't. She couldn’t do anything but sit here right now, as her body felt everything at once, anger, rage, disappointment, grief, loneliness.

Maybe she would yell at him tomorrow, tell him all the things she wanted to say, but for now, she doesn’t have the energy. Calderoni wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him.

Slate leaned against him with a sigh and let her eyes fall closed.

More Narcos

Masterlist

#Commander Guillermo Calderoni #not the real guy #the show!#narcos Mexico #Calderoni narcos Mexico #Guillermo Calderoni #my longest oneshot ever #Ossie Mejia #Amat narcos #Daryl narcos #Danilo Narcos #sal orozco

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lovenojudgement · 1 year

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Posted: April 01, 2023 12:33PM

Written: May 1, 2022, 7:47AM

Someday.

A blog that I might not post now nor soon, but we’ll see.

To you whom I gave a part of my heart to but chose to break it instead, I hope you get to realize how deeply broken I am now.

For the past days that we are not talking to each other anymore, I was able to think about things in a bigger and a clearer picture. It took me a long time before I opened myself up to love again. The short-term mutual understandings that took me months or even years to move on from. I tried to evaluate myself because I might be the reason why things did not work and why it just had to end like that. I then chose to be as honest as I can be. Thinking that life might be a little bit fair for me someday. That I would be able to meet someone who would partially give the same level of love and honesty back to me.

I told you every single story. All the good and the bad, whether it be happy or sad. I got tired of taking time in revealing the real me inside and out that was why I opted to let it all out that early. I thought that if I did that, you would already have a hint if you would pursue me or not. Whether you would take the risk to hold my hand or not. And most importantly, so that you would know how to lift my fragile heart gently. But why does it feel like it gave you an idea on how you would be able to manipulate me instead. Because you knew how delicate I was.

Was I really loved? Or was I fooled? You knew the state of my heart. Did that really make you fall for me. Or did that open your mind that it will be easier for you to navigate my heart in any direction that you would want. Simply because I was vulnerable.

I have been asking God for someone who would fit my heart best. You then came and I thought that it was you. You made me believe that it was you.

I thought I revolved in a perfectly imperfect love story, and I was okay with it. But I think it is a lot more proper to think that I revolved in a man-made love story. I gave everything, my whole being even. I gave my complete trust to you. I loved you more than everything else including myself, but you chose to throw them away. You chose to make me live in a life full of lies. I accepted everything about you. I always made it a point to make you happy. I was contented in seeing you smile. I always thought of you first before myself. Even though I was hurting, you never felt it. I continued to love you until the very end.

Making me believe in all your lies because you did not want to lose me was the most selfish act that somebody has ever done to me. Creating mistakes within mistakes were a lot worse. None of your reasons will ever be valid. You again thought of yourself first. You never thought of me. You did it because you wanted a fun experience for yourself.

Have you been really in love before? Do you have an idea of how it feels like to fall deeply and madly in love with someone? Have you ever been heartbroken? So broken that you could not function in a day. So broken that you do not see your life worth living anymore.

I felt your genuine care. But maybe you must think about it if you really love—loved me. When you love someone, hurting them will be the last thing that you would want them to experience. I always told you my thoughts. Anything that I had in mind even though I know that you might get mad at me. Even though it might ignite another fight. There were a lot of times that I cried my heart out to you. You saw me broke down, down to my knees even. You made me believe that everything was okay. And I trusted you wholeheartedly.

You promised me before that you won’t leave me hanging. That you will never disappoint my heart just like how the others did. That you have all the balls to tell me and the world that you loved me. I held on to your promises since the day that I felt that I had feelings for you already. Because I thought I really mattered. You might have appreciated my presence. The things that I did and the things that I can still do for you. But maybe it was not really love. I know, someday, you will see me again, smiling—because someone might have already seen the worth of a withered plant like me in a field full of fruit bearing trees and colorful flowers.

PS: I was cleaning my laptop when I saw this again. Then I thought, this would be the perfect day to post this. First, because I have fully moved on. Second, it's April Fools Day. I was then made a fool but I do not feel like a withered plant anymore. I am one of the colorful flowers from this day on.

DGPS

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teruwasright · 2 years

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Ok so I might get attacked for this because I guess people aren't aloud to say mean things about Kou but it has to be said. So I'll do it.

Kou backstabbed Teru. Here's why and how.

To understand why I think Kou backstabbed Teru in chp87/85 we have to talk about some other things first. An analysis if you will.

1. What is there relationship like? And how it lead to chp87.

Kou and Teru are close tho they were closer when they were little but Teru has always built a wall between them from a VERY young age. Kou respects Teru to much to push the boundaries Teru has set since they were little. (I don't think Kou is scared of Teru like a lot of people think. If Kou was scared of authority he wouldn't go against Teru the way he does) they don't strike me as the share everything with each other siblings so they are close on a ground level. But past that not so much. Even tho I think Kou gets PLENTY of love at home ( Teru has shown to be very affectionate with his siblings and since Teru is busy a lot of the time probably. Kou and Tiara probably spend a lot of time together) being shown affection is different from feeling like you can talk to someone ( even tho I think Teru would love nothing more then for Kou to be honest and open with him Kou feels the wall Teru built is to thick because Kou doesn't feel like it's fair if he can feel like he can talk about his feelings but Teru doesn't) so when Nene and Hanako come into the picture Kou suddenly has these people that are willing to talk to him and willing to listen to him talk to.

2. Chp10/9

When it comes to this chp I don't count this in my argument. In these chps Kou is being confronted with the thought that maybe not all supernaturals are evil like Teru said. He's confused and it shows. Kou basically broke down to Teru saying how he doesn't feel like it's right and that he needs some time to figure it out.

And Teru gave Kou that time. Even tho Teru didn't agree he didn't shut him up. He listened and seemed like he was surprised and hurt even. not by Kou. but by the fact he had no idea he made Kou feel this way.

Teru doesn't even seem mad at ALL even tho Kou basically slammed him into the ground. He looks more worried then anything. These chps had really good character development for both of them later on.

3. The Red House. A trust that wasn't mutual.

Ok ok- I've talked about this SO much but I won't stop because this was HUGE for Teru's character development- in chp79 Teru and Akane are at the shrine well Kou and Nene are in The Red House. Teru finds out that Kou is in The Red House after the phone call. After their done in the shrine Akane asks Teru if there going to go get Kou ( saying how it's dangerous and that him and Nene could die in there) but instead of agreeing with Akane he tells him otherwise.

If Teru trusted Kou to be ok in a place like that well having Akane tell him otherwise is a HUGE step in his character.

Teru trusted him in a dangerous place even tho Akane thought they should go get them. He trusts Kou to keep Nene and himself safe in The Red House. But I guess that wasn't enough for Kou. Even tho Kou got a chance to prove himself in The Red House. Kou BOSSED it in there because Teru trusted him. If Teru really did think Kou was weak and didn't trust him he would have agreed with Akane but he didn't. It's just sad how the Trust Teru had in Kou was repaid with betrayal.

4. How chps 87 and 10 are different.

There is a HUGE difference between these chps. The situation is WAY different to. In chps 9 through 10 Kou is confused about how he wants to handle supernaturals as a hole. He needed time to figure it out and got that time but with a warning from Teru if he got in the way again he wouldn't let it go under the rug. In chps 85 and 87 the situation is WAY different. By now Kou has decided that not all supernaturals are evil (false btw) and said he would be on Nene's side no matter what ( I hated that sentence smh) and clearly decided to do what he did in chp87. He chose to side with Nene in turn siding and helping Hanako in the process. This is a VERY different situation from chps 9 and 10.

5. How he backstabbed Teru.

Welp we finally getting to the point of this post ^^ so with all of this said and even giving y'all insight on how I came to this conclusion you see where I'm coming from right? Kou 100% backstabbed Teru. and Teru was clearly hurt. Kou decided to side with Nene and Hanako and hurt Teru in the process. And Teru DIDN'T deserve it. Teru has pushed Kou away because he wanted to keep Kou away from the exorcist life. And Kou seems aware of this.

But despite this Teru has NEVER done this shit to Kou-

Kou feeling useless and like no one trusts him is not Teru's fault. Teru would NEVER want to make Kou feel that way and the fact that y'all really think he would is just proof that all y'all care about is the main three. All Teru did was try and keep Kou away from him so he doesn't have to go through the shit he did the fact that Kou felt miserable and useless Teru would NEVER do on purpose. Why do you think Teru seems always surprised to hear Kou saying that's how he feels? Because Teru never meant to make him feel like that.

I'm gonna make a part 2 because I still have reference panels for this and I'm running out of images I can put in the post also it's getting really long so I'll make a fallow up post later this weekend ^^ I hope I don't get attacked to badly for this but I'm sick of this being swept under the rug. All I see is poor Kou this poor Kou that- I'm sick of it. So if no one will call Kou out on his bullshit fine! I will.

Lol tho seriously I hope y'all like this analysis so far. I haven't made one this long in awhile so I hope y'all enjoy it even if you don't agree ^^ see y'all in part two! - sincerely a Teru stan who's still crying over them- TwT

To be continued.

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teabiscs · 1 year

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Yubo Fic Idea

So I should have planned this out for my other story because it would have been way more interesting. But I’m going for softness and fluff. So probably good this didn’t get thought of back in September last year. Because Yuriy in my fic didn't need this on top of everything

But here it is. It’s a slow burn, if that's not obvious by how RIDICULOUSLY long this whole thought is. Because I do not know how to be casual. Also if something like this exists EVEN in the slightest, help me OUT.

Boris and Yuriy are both in love with one another. Everyone with eyes can see Boris is in love with Yuriy. Head over heels. Heart eyes. Would kill for the redhead.

Those who know Yuriy well enough (Borg and Kai) know that he loves Boris. Maybe he can’t articulate it. Maybe it makes him feel funny admitting it. Maybe he thinks it’s embarrassing broadcasting his feelings.

It’s 100% mutual. Right? Perfect.

Butt not in this plot. Yuriy is fine with what they have. Doesn’t want to throw off the status quo they have of being Friends+ (the plus being: kissing, cuddling, sleeping together. Not orgasms tho bc they never got that far). Yuriy is comfortable. He has Boris. He has his family and everyone is happy!

Except for Boris. Who craves more. He wants that silly little title of /boyfriend/. Wants to hold the redhead’s hand in public. To hold him. To express more of his love out of behind the closed doors of Yuriy’s bedroom. Boris is so patient and understanding that Yuriy needs time. But at this point it’s been five years of this cat and mouse game and they’re in their mid twenties. And Boris is human. He is greedy. He wants things.

And things unravel from here. It always starts a fight when Boris brings up anything related to wanting more. Consolidating space, PDA, boyfriends. And Boris is tired at this point. It’s been five fucking years of waiting. This gets heated. Yelling and screaming. Snarling. And if they both didn’t have extensive therapy, hands would have been thrown.

And it ends with Boris giving Yuriy an ultimatum, they either progress to a new level in their relationship or what they have is done. They’ll still be friends. But for Boris’ sake he’s stepping back.

And Yuiry chooses the latter. What he doesn’t realize is how serious Boris was.

He moves out the next week, half out of spite, half because he thinks it will make him feel better. Sergei and Ivan know, but Boris doesn’t tell Yuriy. So yuriy comes home one day to a silent house with shifty eyes when they all sit down for dinner. No one says anything about Boris’ seat being empty or the lack of a place setting. So yuriy just thinks he’s out for the night, and since they’re on bad terms just wasn’t told. But that night he gets a better look around the house and notices some of Boris’ things missing but he tries to ignore it. Then the next morning Boris still isn’t there. Yuriy looks around at the other guys at the table eating breakfast. A plate is still missing from Boris’ spot.

“Boris didn’t come home last night?” He asks

The two share a look. And Sergei goes “oh fuck, did he not tell him.” He looks to Ivan.

“Trust that asshole to let us break the news.”

The news? Yuriy’s eyebrows almost reach his hairline.

“Boris moved out yesterday.”

And Yuriy is too calm as he goes Oh, and finishes eating his food.

Oh.

And yuriy has a breakdown. He calls off of work and tears apart his room. He barely realizes why. Boris warned him. Boris gave him a choice. This is what he wanted. This is what he picked.

And then it gets worse.

Just a lot of sad boys. And then Boris enjoying life. And sad Yuriy who just reached a breaking point and doesn't care anymore. He lets himself cry. Lets himself feel things, because if he doesnt its going to explode out of him. He feels better after a cry. Yuriy doesnt understand how his heart can hurt like this. He wishes he could just claw it out of his chest. It hurts so fucking bad.

Boris finds an apartment astonishingly quick. He gets himself situated and tells Sergei and Ivan he’s leaving. it hurts saying goodbye. But he needs this. Needs the space. Needs to get far away from Yuriy and figure out his wants and his needs and find someone who will give them to him. Not someone who’s willing to stay stagnant forever.

And that whole post moving out Boris, is him just using alcohol and sex to cope. He’s a virgin prior to this, but lordy, does alcohol calm his nerves. Havnet figured out how Boris and Kai end up being friendly enough prior to this, or if they become friends because of this. Boris moves out because he knows its going to hurt Yuriy, he wants it to. He isnt sure if its comparable to how he’s been feeling, but he hopes it is, and hopes its worse (yuriy would tell you its worse)

It pains him to have to hit up Hiwatari, but it means getting into clubs easier and knowing someone there. It’s fun to let loose and dance with pretty girls and Fit Guys. His hands on slim hips, and strong arms on his hips grinding against him. He feels wanted. It's refreshing.

Hiwatari isn’t that bad either, Boris realizes. He pays for their table and the drinks, and always helps him home when he’s had too much to drink. Tell him who to avoid and who’s clean, whos a good fuck and who is awful in bed. Who will try and trap him with a kid. All good friend things.

Boris ends up dancing with him one night, and between the lights, music and alcohol haze forgets who’s grinding their ass on his cock and considers taking him home that night. (He quickly remembers it’s Kai fucking Hiwatari, his has his hands on and discards that idea.

Boris enjoys this month of bliss, forgetting Yuriy and living a life that’s normal for a 25 year old. He barely thinks of the redhead, except when he’s sober, and for that month he’s rarely sober except when he’s busy at work.

He sees Sergei and Ivan when he knows Yuriy is busy, (who scold him for not even saying goodbye to Yuriy or telling him he was moving out and how fucked up it was having them tell him.). He tried to ignore how they tell him that Yuriy is struggling since he’s been gone. He’s not sleeping or eating. And not taking care of himself.

And Boris pushes down the feelings that rise up his stomach to the back of his throat. And make him feel sick. Tried to ignore that what he’s doing is hurting Yuriy, the one he claimed he loved and wanted more with.

He puts up a tough front in front of the others, he’s not sure how convincing it is. Sergei seems to buy it. Ivan not so much, when he says “well this is what Ivanov wanted. He didn’t want me so I left”

“You didn’t have to leave though. You could have stayed” Sergei says

“Do you have any idea how much it hurt me being in the house with him? I’m finally doing better. It’s not my problem that he’s suffering the consequences of his actions. You can’t ask me to hurt myself so he stops.�� And he excuses himself.

He dials up Hiwatari and tells him he needs to go out tonight and doesn’t want to be stopped unless they’re taking him away in an ambulance for alcohol poisoning.

“It can be arranged. That bad huh? You see him again?”

“Bad yes. Saw Sergei and Ivan.”

“Be ready in an hour. I’ll pick you up.”

That night they both take someone home to Kai’s house, if you wanna call it that. Boris wakes up the next morning as the girl is pulling on her fishnets and boots. He finally gets a good look at her. Shes a tiny alt/emo girl with brightly dyed hair and more piercings than him. She flashes him a smile and thanks him for the good time, and that she hopes to see him at the club again.

And they meet up several more times and start dating. Boris warning her that this is his first relationship and he’s trying and if he does something wrong it’s not on purpose it’s just all new. And she reassured him that he’s doing a great job and kisses him. She holds his hand. She cuddles with him. She’s soft with him and affectionate in ways he never knew he wanted.

And it’s nice. It feels like something more than friends. Feels like what he’s always wanted. It’s so easy to fall into a groove of seeing her after he gets off from work. To spending nights at each other’s apartments. She insists it’s too soon to move in together. And he’s okay with that since they still sleep together almost every night. They go out clubbing together, dancing exclusively with one another. It’s lewd and he loves how he can openly express his feelings for her.

Until one day, there’s a soft knock on his apartment door. The girlfriend answers, and Boris can barely hear the exchange, until she comes skipping back into the living room that there’s somewhere at the door for him. And that itsa guy with redhair looking for him.

Yuriy looks meek and shy, shuffling in his doorway. He can barely make eye contact with Boris. He looks awful, too skinny, and tired, dark bags under his eyes.

“Hey. You look good.” Yuriy comments, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

“You look awful.” Boris replies. “Are you eating right? Sleeping?”

“I’m fine.” Yuriy insists, through a tight forced smile.

And they talk and its so awkward and forced. The girlfriend comes bouncing back over kisses Boris on the cheek, saying she’ll be back after work, offering Yuriy a smile and saying its nice to meet him.

Yuriy’s face falls and he answers back, “I- ugh didn’t realize that you- I shouldn't have come. I'm sorry. I'm going to go.”

“You came here to talk though-”

“It was a mistake. I should have called first.”

Boris is left confused. Yuriy didn't want this, so he found a relationship elsewhere. How could he be upset? Yuriy goes home and rips apart his room again, punching a hole in his wall in the process. If he had known he wouldn't have gone. He didn't think Boris would have moved on.

Yuriy ends up phoning Kai. He’s not sure why. “You offered to hook up before, that offer still available?”

“Sure. I said I'd wine and dine you too, so get dressed up and we’ll get dinner first.” He hangs up before Yuriy can protest.

Yuriy does not end up getting laid that night. Kai confronts him after dinner, “Sleeping with me would just be a fucked up form of self harm to you at this point. I'm assuming you heard that Boris is seeing someone and that’s why you wanted to meet up.”

“Why agree to take me out to dinner if you werent going to fuck me.” Kai shrugs, “Sergei said you haven’t been eating. Figured I’d at least trick you into getting some food into you. You look like shit.”

Yuriy glares at him, “So i’ve been told already today.”

“I was only half serious when I offered to hook up with you back then. I said it more to piss off Kuznetsov. IF you weren’t doing this as some kind of fucked up punishment, I would take you home.”

Yuriy/’s eyes narrow and he sips at his cocktail, “At least let me get drunk and forget my problems.”

“Gladly.”

Yuriy isn't sure when Kai turned into this caring individual who took care of people, but he finds himself that next morning tucked into his bed, not remembering much of what happened after or even getting home.

Months go by, with Yuriy barely taking care of himself. He misses Boris.Misses everything he took for granted.

Yuriy going to Boris and being like I know things are different now, but is there a chance for us to hang out again. So they do a Borg movie night. And Yuriy tries to ignore how Boris sits in a different spot. Swallows down burning feeling in his throat. Boris would always be embarrassingly close when they would watch movies together. Thigh pressed up against Yuriy’s and his arm wrapped around Yuriy’s neck, fingers brushing against his bicep.

Now Boris is five feet away on a different piece of furniture. At least at dinner he sits at his old seat next to Yuriy, and he can relax just a little, feeling comfortable enough to eat.

Then Sergei is offering coffee and dessert and Boris passes up on the dessert, saying he’s trying to watch his weight and that his girlfriend is such a good cook and a stress baker, and that he’s put on ten pounds since they got together. Offhandedly saying its hard to want to go to the gym in the morning when shes next to him.

And Yuriy excuses himself from the table. He's going to be sick. He locks himself in the bathroom. He can't breathe and he honestly feels like the food he just ate is going to find its way outside of him.

He shoots Sergei a text that he cant do this. He cant he cant he cant.

Yuriy composes himself the best he can and goes back into the kitchen. Excusing himself that he feels sick. That he ate too much. He feels his face flush when Ivan even mentions it's nice to see him eat like a normal person for once, but not if he’s getting sick from it.

Yuriy hides himself in his room, and cries. Everything inside of him hurts and it radiates outside of him. He cant hold this inside of him anymore. Crying into his pillow.

His head telling him, he only has himself to blame. He didnt want Boris as a partner, so Boris found one. He did this to himself. If only he stepped up and faced his fears.

More time goes by. And more movie nights and game nights, and Boris starts bringing the girlfriend over, and Yuriy wants to hate her, but she is so nice to him, and he feels awful being cold towards her. (Hates seeing her make Boris laugh and happy, but he fights that feeling back). Seeing Boris still hurts, but it gets easier.

A scene somewhere, where Yuriy is telling Boris, he didn't want things to change, because he didn't want to lose Boris, but it still happened. This wasnt how things were supposed to be. This was supposed to save them. They would always be close, always have each other. He was scared to lose him, and it happened anyway. And he starts crying, he doesn't even feel embarrassed anymore crying, even crying in front of someone.

And this is like the turning point, where things start to change and aren’t so sad.

Boris and his girlfriend will be cuddling after sex, and of all times to say something, she’s like, “Boris, be honest with me. You love him.”

Yuriy, you love him.

Boris is still confused, Yes, I love him and Sergei and Ivan.

Borya. You love him.

I love you, *insert whatever her name will be*

Yes, but not in the way you love him. You love me because of how I am. What I give to you. He couldn't do what I do.

“He didn’t want this. Want me.” Boris replies.

“I love you Boris, and I know you love me, just not in the way I want you to. You’re the best boyfriend I’ve had, and honestly some of the best sex I’ve had. I care about you so much that I think, though, that we should end this. Go be with Yuriy-

No. He doesn't want me.

I Think that’s changed.

They go back and forth, until she’s like, We don't have to break up. I don't plan on leaving if we do. I just want you to be happy. Boris promises that he will at least talk to Yuriy, and she kisses him on the head, and gets in the shower.

Boris arranges a meeting with Yuriy, who is starting to look human again. THe bags under his eyes are less dark, and his cheekbones aren't threatening to cut through his skin. He seems nervous, his eyes shifting around, like he’s expecting something, and then it dawns on him.

“She’s not here Yura, it’s just us.” Yuriy seems to calm down if only for a minute before the nickname has him looking funny again. Boris hesitates before reaching across the table and grabs for Yuriy’s hand. He’s half expecting Yuriy to retract his hand or pull back

“Can we talk? We haven’t talked in a long time.”

Yuriy nods slowly, looking down at Boris’ hand.

Boris says that his girlfriend broke up with him, which is the simplest way of putting it, because of Yuriy. That Boris is still in love with Yuriy. He loved the girlfriend, but loved that she did everything he wished Yuriy would have done. That he still wants to be with Yuriy.

Yuriy is too stunned to speak initially and then he’s like, but you two were so happy.

She called it off, because she knew i was in love with you, and that you were in love with me. She said she couldnt sit back and let that happen.

And then the lord said let there be fluff. They date! Yuriy feels awkward and embarrassed doing PDA. And he’s anxious and nervous that he’ll do something wrong, but Boris is always beaming when Yuriy holds his hand in public, and how proud he is that Yuriy is trying so hard to give him what he wants.

(also the ex-gf does corner him, and is like im happy you two are figuring things out, but if you fuck this up, I’m not going to give him up a second time. And yuriy’s like i don’t plan it.)

—--

#beyblade fanfiction idea #i lied here it is three thousand words #I had to drive for 3 hours today so this is all i thought about.#yubo #yurbo #which is the ship name idont know and im scared to ask #also if anyone wants to steal this and write it for me they can

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