#(lb is recovering well as far as we can tell)
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i just found a lump right at the base of peach's throat. it was his 2nd birthday like 2 days ago. he's been so so skinny recently and no matter how much we feed him he just won't put on weight and i just found a lump at the base of his throat.
#personal#keeping it fun and funky fresh#the wild brunch#i cannot fucking cope with this. i cannot#peach is My Baby. he's my heart rat. he's my darling boy. i've never felt this way about an animal before#his brother benny died of a pituitary tumor a year ago (fuck. was it only a year??)#and his other brother lunchbox literally JUST had his tail amputated bc of what we thought was a huge cyst a third of the way down#ended up being a tumor too#(lb is recovering well as far as we can tell)#i believe All of his sisters have died. and i know his other two bros died ages ago#our friends adopted a pet store rat who turned out to be pregnant so they are decidedly not of controlled breeding#i'm so so upset tho#my baby boy. my peebs my peebles my peach bellini my lil nakey man.#pet death cw
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Because of my most recent post about the Love Square and Supercorp I am obligated to make this now because it's easier than an actual thought of fic.
(Also I am still recovering from writer's block so whomever sent me that Heathers Hanahaki ask I promise you I will finish that as soon as a I can)
~~~~~
Kara: So...you two have been crime fighting partners for almost a year now?
Ladybug: Yep.
Chat Noir: Yeah.
Lena: Wow. You've done so much in a year as superheroes and you're still kids-
Ladybug: I'm sorry????
Chat Noir: Haha what makes you think we're kids???
Lena:
Lena: First of all, you *points to CN* sound like your voice just developed and you *points at LB* are pint sized.
Ladybug:
Ladybug: Are you aware that you taking off your heels will make Supergirl look like a giant in comparison?
Lena:
Alex: OKAY! Do you two know each other's identities?
Ladybug and Chat Noir: No.
Nia: No? To be honest, I'm quite surprised. You guys are basically a dream duo. I kind of assumed you knew.
Lena: Yeah, so did I.
Brainy: There's a 90% chance we all did.
Kara: Well, I understand there are plenty of reasons. But, do you mind if we asked?
Lena: Yeah. Kara and I had our share of secrecy problems and trust issues and...yeah.
Kara: Yeah.
Everyone:
Kelly: Get therapy. Please. Anyway, as far as we know, Monarch is no longer a threat to you guys.
Ladybug: ....I have my reasons....
Chat Noir: Other than it's a rule? I don't know. But yeah, Monarch is no longer a threat. Does that mean we can reveal-
Ladybug: NO
Chat Noir: ...
Kara:
Lena:
Alex:
Kelly:
Brainy:
Nia:
Ladybug: We're not having a reveal, understood?
Chat Noir: O-Okay.
Lena:
Lena: You're traumatized.
Ladybug: I- what?
Lena: I know that face. You're traumatized.
Ladybug:
Ladybug: ...
Ladybug: *sighs* Fine. In another timeline, Chat Noir got akumatized and destroyed the whole world because we had a reveal which had gone wrong so badly. And I had to fight him. I don't wanna fight him.
Chat Noir: Wait- what?
The Superfriends: Oh.
Kara:
Lena:
Supercorp: Oh well shit.
Ladybug: Yeah, so do you understand why a reveal scares me now?
Chat Noir: Yeah, M'Lady, of course I understand.
Brainy: If you kept a secret like that from each other then maybe you shouldn't be partn-
Nia: *covers his mouth* Brainy no.
Ladybug: It was ONE FUCKING SECRET.
Kara: ...Is it?
Ladybug:
Chat Noir: ...Ladybug?
Ladybug: ....
Ladybug, in one breath: Gabriel Agreste was never the hero, he was Monarch this whole time and he reset and rebuilt the universe so we're all basically just clones with the same memories and emotions while the real versions of us died and I kept Gabriel's secret to protect his family. *covers her mouth*
Chat Noir: What?
Alex: Oh-
Kelly: I-
Brainy: That's too much even for me.
Nia: What the flying fuck???
Kara: ...Okay that's...uh...I don't know how to describe it.
Lena: Maybe we should've just left the discussion of their identities at "they don't know".
Chat Noir: My father was Monarch????
Ladybug: Yeah- wait...you're father..?
Nia: Oh this just got worse.
Chat Noir: ...Yeah.
Ladybug: ...I didn't know he was your father...
Chat Noir: Yeah, how would you?
Ladybug: Adrien???
Chat Noir: ...Hi...
Ladybug: Holy kwami what the fuck?
Chat Noir: How do I tell this to my girlfriend..?
Ladybug: Um...your girlfriend just told you.
Chat Noir: ...What-
Alex: I genuinely thought it couldn't get worse but here we are...
Chat Noir: Marinette???
Lena: Oh no...
Kara: Yeah we really should've just dropped it when they said they didn't know.
Kara: How long do you think this'll last?
Nia: Guys?
Lena: Best guess? By how their both just stared at each other with so many emotions radiating off them? Longer than ours.
Nia: Guys.
Kelly: Oh for the love of Rao please go to therapy. All of you.
Nia: Guys!
Everyone:
Nia: ...Ladybug and Chat Noir left.
Everyone:
Everyone: Shit.
Alex: They'll be okay, right?
Kara and Lena: Haha no
Brainy: Yeah let's go find them.
Kara: Do we talk to them separately or together?
Lena: Together then separately.
Kara: Got it.
#miraculous ladybug#adrienette#ladynoir#marinette dupain cheng#adrien agreste#cw supergirl#supercorp#dansen#brainia#kelly olsen#alex danvers#nia nal#brainiac 5#kara zor el#kara danvers#lena luthor
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Transition Diaries: Week 5
October 25th 2023 - October 31st 2023
Day 29: October 25th 2023
Hygiene:
Looking into buying a new deodorant. Mine is slowly stopping working and I need to use so much more of it. My feet stink! I don't even wear socks or shoes. I never leave my house!!!!! This is wild.
NSFW:
One inch of growth in the first month. Not mad about that at all. This thing is a plump little monster let me tell you. I get random erections, like a teenage boy. Sitting in the car? Erection that tingles and itches. Eating pizza with my family? Erection that makes me have to shift my weight, but I can't escape it! Crying over my broken bong? Yup. Erection there too. Fuck you, tick tack dick. What the hell is your timing?! I don't want to fuck things when I'm SOBBING.
Peeing is weird. I was just sitting on the toilet, peeing like one does, and I COUGHED. And my pee YEETED onto the wall instead of going in the toilet. Like....henh? The urethra in the AFAB anatomy isn't anywhere near the clit. The fuck is happening? Well. Whatever, guess this is life now.
If my boobs don't stop feeling bruised soon I STG I might just cut them off myself. Holy fuck. Ow.
Appetite:
Actually starting to taper out as nausea and PMS symptoms kick in.
Body Hair:
Acne in places I never thought I would get it but here we are. Ass acne? Breast Acne? Thigh? Sure. I have Hidradenitis suppurativa (HS), also called acne inversus, I'm used to that shit. But my NECK?! MY SCALP? MY FUCKIN ELBOW?! The hell?!
Vocal:
Yeaaaaaaaaaa we dropped y'all. I'm a raspy, cracky, little bitch but OH I am loving it. I can't wait to see where it settles.
Body General:
My mother noticed a change in my face shape during a video call. She said I look more like my father.
I've noticed a change in my overall torso shape, however I'm not sure if it's due to weight loss, as I've lost 20 lbs, or the T redistributing things. Could be both I suppose.
Menstruation:
I took pregnancy tests every single day that I was late to be safe. All remained negative
After being intimate with my partner this morning, she informed me there was blood. I went to inspect, and sure enough, my flow started. My cramps are intermittent but normal for me in the moderate to severe range. So far the actual flow is light. Continuing to monitor changes.
Misc:
Shaved off my face a few weeks back to monitor the new growth more accurately. Starting to feel itchy stubble on the chin. Here we go.
Day 30: October 26th 2023
Day 31: October 27th 2023
NSFW/Menstruation
The period shits. Oh GOD the period shits. Mother nature why hast thou forsaken us. Shit isn't supposed to be liquid fire. And it CERTAINLY isn’t supposed to run down my leg because I stood up out of my goddamn chair. Get fucked you stupid vampire. No one wants your bloody curse.
Day 32: October 28th 2023
Day 33: October 29th 2023
NSFW/Menstruation
Menstruation ended. Ended with a light bleed but large clots and painful cramps.
Day 34: October 30th 2023
Day 35: October 31st 2023
Appetite
Strong increase in hunger after being stable for a bit
Mood
Lot of ups and downs in mood specifically on the morning of the 31st. Sleepy, hyper, struggling with communication externally and verbally despite full lucidity in mental state other than some mild seizure activity. Unsure if related to hormone fluctuations post menstruation or something else.
NSFW
Orgasm’s have made a very large change in a very fast period. When masturbating, I find I enjoy penetration less and less than I used to. I don’t dislike it, I still very much enjoy penetration. But I tend to go for Bean/Peen stimulation as my “favorite” for a quickie.
Before T, My O’s could go and go. My partner once got me to 8 in a single session I believe before I tapped out. However now I can still O multiple times if it is a penetrative O, but any cliteral O’s take time to recover. This is ESPECIALLY true if I am masturbating with a toy. I favor suction toys the most, but directly after an O, I have to QUICKLY remove whatever I am using or the stimulation is immediately overwhelming post O.
The sounds I make changed as well, but only surrounding cliteral Os, which I found shocking and interesting.
The PeenBean has a mind of its OWN. If it DOESN’T get enough attention during a session, it doesn’t matter how satisfied I am, that thing will continue to itch and throb and remind you that it’s THERE. Don’t fuck with the Peenbean. It has an ATTITUDE
Gastro:
Just….make sure you have a good friendship with Pepto Bismol and Immodium.
#queer community#queer#neurodivergent#queer pride#trans#transgender#genderfluid#genderqueer#transition#transitioning
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I want every medical professional, pro ana blogger, people suffering through ed and anyone fucking else who wants to to read this post
Being underweight is far more dangerous than being overweight
Being underweight is far more dangerous than being obese
Being underweight is far more dangerous than being "morbidly" obese
Being "morbidly" obese can increase your risk of health complications, yes. It can increase your risk of high blood pressure and high cholesterol and diabetes and inflammatory diseases.
Being just barely underweight can literally fucking eat your heart. Not increase the risk of something happening to it-- (it's completely possible to have high cholesterol but have a perfectly healthy heart)-- but literally fucking destroy the cardiac muscle itself because it doesn't have enough energy to function properly and your body gnaws away at anything it can to fucking survive. It hurts and it's terrifying and it really puts things into perspective when you can no longer or can barely fucking stand up because your heart's barely strong enough to keep you ok laying down. Anorexia is rated as the most deadly mental illness, 4x the risk of death from major depression, because of the extreme damage it does to your body and the lingering threat of heart failure.
And by the way, don't think I'm just talking about 30 lbs underweight either. I mean 5. 10 you're fucked. 20 you're morbidly fucked and might not recover if you don't do something fast.
And don't try to tell me I'm wrong I know this from personal experience. After recovery I relapsed again and I had heart complications literally 1 fucking pound underweight because of previous damage. The lowest I ever was was 16, but my body suffered at quite a bit higher than that too.
Not to mention it fucks up your immune system as well, I don't care who tells you otherwise. Lymphocyte levels drop. Granulocytes tend to remain okay if not raised a bit, but lymphs suffer and it will take a few weeks to get over an infection you otherwise could've gotten over in a few days.
So to everyone with restrictive eds because they think they're helping their body out, please heed my warning. You aren't doing what you think you are.
To everyone with restrictive eds because they're afraid of how they look or will look, dysmorphia and dysphoria is a bitch I know. But I promise you're perfectly beautiful/handsome how you are, and please take care of your body so you have one to be loved.
Don't read health articles, don't read magazines. Listen to people with real experience and experts on the topic. Industry makes money off of pain.
And to that guy on tiktok who said that it would save so many lives if we encouraged restrictive eds more to limit obesity, and while eds might suck it'd save lives, I wish you sense, and if you can't have sense I wish you pain.
If anyone ever needs to talk please dm me.
#ed#tw eating disorder#eating disorder#orthorexia#anorexia#tw anorexia#tw orthorexia#medblr#tw weight#tw ed#pro ana#im not pro ana obv but i want ppl following the tag to see it#health
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i feel like as a fandom we do not spend enough time dissecting how fucked up the scene described here is.
"Young Master Wei, that night, you took the two halves of the Stygian Tiger Seal and pieced them together. After you were satisfied with the killing, you were a spent arrow as well. WangJi was injured on your rampage. He was in no better shape than you, barely supporting himself by leaning on Bichen. In spite of this, as he saw you stumble away, he immediately followed.
“Right then, not many people were still conscious. I, too, was almost unable to move, and I could only watch as WangJi, whose spiritual powers were clearly about to be drained, staggered towards you. He brought you onto Bichen as soon as he grabbed you, and you two left."
just. the mental image of lxc being so injured and so drained of spiritual energy that he can only watch helplessly as his brother continues to aid the man who did this to him - to all of them - is fucking breaking me.
lxc just spent an entire night fighting wave after wave of fierce corpses, saw them tear his sect members apart, watched as wwx's demonic cultivation reanimated those same members and forced them to turn on their own brothers and sisters, who could only watch in horror as the men and women they know and love, maybe their own wives, their own husbands, came lurching towards them.
and lxc, he wasn’t spared this; he had to face those familiar looking corpses, too.
they were his family.
but he had to swallow his grief and shout orders at everyone to focus, we will collect and properly bury the dead afterwards, but for now, you must think of them as the enemy --
hours. and hours, of this.
... and then, it ended. all the fierce corpses slumped over. that's the moment when, he assumes (probably correctly??) that wwx became "satisfied with the killing". lxc doesn't even have the energy to do a once-over of the battlefield to check how many of his sect members are left; he stays standing just long enough to make certain that he doesn't have to keep fighting, then his body gives out all at once, and he's on the blood-soaked ground, surrounded by dead bodies and injured cultivators.
but then!!!
he sees white robes pass by him! and it's wangji! and at first he thinks, oh thank god wangji is okay. and then wangji walks past him. and he goes, wait. hold on. wangji where are you --
and lxc has just enough energy to prop his body up enough to see wangji stagger towards wwx, grab him, put him on bichen, and... leave.
first of all, the fucking betrayal of lwj helping a mass murderer - a mass murderer who, i will remind you, used the bodies of the people he killed against their own family/sect members.
second of all, the betrayal of the fact that lwj has enough spiritual energy to do all that in the first place??? when lxc - and everyone else on the battlefield - is basically paralyzed, may as well be at the brink of death himself, because he spent everything he had trying to keep as many people alive in a battle where the enemy's only goal was to kill as many of them as possible?? like? wwx did not have any sort of noble goal here; he was literally just trying to kill.
look, i get that lwj is strong and he was being powered by love or whatever but you cannot tell me that lwj has more spiritual energy than lxc - so much more that he's able to, in this scene, 1. move, 2. haul wwx - an entire human adult male who weighs at least 150 lbs - onto his sword, 3. be able to use his sword (since we know that spiritual swords drain spiritual energy), 4. be able to FLY ON HIS SWORD, 5. be able to fly on his sword long enough to whisk wwx (whom he is carrying) (who, again, is a FULLY GROWN ADULT MALE) away to a location quite far away (the distance between nightless city & burial mounds is pretty substantial, i think?)
the ONLY way lwj could have done all this is if he hadn't fought as hard as lxc did and THAT knowledge. that, i think, would have hurt the most.
because again, lxc spent an entire fucking evening desperately trying to save lives
if lwj hadn't been doing that, then what the fuck was he doing??
... the fact that even after all of this, AND!!!!!! even after lwj severely injured 33 elders!!! which is, a goddamn HIGH CRIME - even after all! of! that! lxc loved lwj so much that he diligently, patiently, dutifully visited him while he was recovering from the discipline whip punishment - which, i cannot stress enough and i will never change my mind, lwj 100% deserved.
imagine how much lxc must have struggled to forgive lwj.
imagine all the sleepless nights lxc must have had after that bloody night, all the nightmares that plagued him over and over again - horrible visions of reanimated corpses of his family ripping other members of his family apart. of having to chop them into pieces because a fierce corpse won’t stop if you simply pierce its body; you have to completely disable it - decapitate it, cut off its limbs so it can no longer move.
imagine all the funerals he must have attended, doing his best to comfort the loved ones of the fallen, especially those who did not get even a single remain of their relatives because their corpses had been so torn apart during the carnage.
imagine how, even after all that, lxc loved lwj. still sought to understand why he did it all - and, even after being given such an unsatisfactory answer (”no matter what, i am willing to be responsible for everything wwx did” - that’s not a reason; that’s just... blindly following someone), still found it in himself to forgive him. because they’re brothers. because he grew up with lwj; he knows him; he knows him better than anyone else in the world knows him, better than wwx knew him in his first life, and better than wwx knows him in his second.
in the end, lxc knows that lwj’s biggest crime was loving someone else too much, and lxc can’t find it in himself to hate his little brother for that, so he forgives him.
but he’ll never forget, that image of lwj flying away.
#mdzs#lan xichen#lan wangji#wei wuxian#lxc#lwj#wwx#twin jades#meta#i said that i wanted to draw this but now that i think about it#i want to write this scene#and the scenes proceeding it#where lxc has to tell lqr that lwj flew away with wwx#then helps him gather 33 of their least injured elders#then goes with them to confront lwj#the entire time#struggling with his emotions#and trying not to remember#the horrible things he saw that night#because right now they need to find wangji#right now he cannot fall into despair#pushing past the urge to scream and scream and scream is a skill he learned during sunshot#bitterly he thanks the war for preparing him for this terrible night#ugh#lxc......#the more i think about all the shit he had to endure#the angrier i get that there are significant portions of the fandom#that do not give him nearly enough credit#that actively do him a disservice#by portraying him as an idiot or airheaded or whatever
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A Tiadrin theory
I woke up this morning with a sudden headcanon about Tiadrin, and as I poked at it, it filled out nicely, so I’m gonna go ahead and call it a theory at this point.
It gets angsty, as all good Moonshadow theories do. If your heart doesn’t weigh 6 tons by the time you reach the end of this post, I didn’t capture the feeling properly.
Several bits of detail flutter around this mysterious woman, and I’ve theorized various versions of her circumstances, her relationship with Runaan and Ethari, her former position before the Storm Spire, the reasons she went there, and the reasons Runaan was so hellbent on avenging her dishonor.
I don’t think any of them landed as well or tied together as neatly as this one, though. Hence “theory” instead of just “headcanon.” Here we go:
FIrstly, some meta information. This is a fun tweet, but in this post I’m looking directly at “belief systems as sources of both comfort and restraint” and at the “weight of guilt” and “cycles of trauma” lines, in regards to Moonshadow culture, and specifically Moonshadow assassin training.
And raise your hand if you’ve been looking further afield than the front-and-center Janaya-with-Soren nod from “ripped women who teach soft boys to stab,” because I have. TDP is full of parallels and imperfect mirrors.
So, in the spirit of soft yet angsty cycles and the ripped women who perpetuate them, Theory Part I: Tiadrin trained Runaan, because she was the leader of the assassins before he was.
She’s referred to as a mastermind. Assassin leaders need to be good with plans of all sizes. We’ve seen how Runaan silently adapts to chaos and doesn’t tell anyone what his new plans actually are. He’s a good leader. But he also had to learn those skills from someone. Whoever instructed him was a tactical genius, and also very Moonshadow, and Runaan was an adept student.
Also, Tiadrin is a goddamn badass. She’s several inches shorter than Lain, Runaan, Ethari, and Viren. But she is a powerhouse in battle. She knows her physics well enough to drag this 6′2″ human battle mage skidding across the floor. Monster thighs, monster intellect.
As a 5′4″ woman who trained in jujitsu for several years, let me just say: gender equality in battle is great, but physics does not care. It will crush your popsicle-stick ass if you try to chuck a 250 lb person across the room and your math is off. The most accurate fighters are the ones who know how hard physics hits back when you’re sloppy.
Tiadrin earned every inch of respect, and every inch of her thigh circumference, the old-fashioned way. She worked for it, all day every day. Runaan does the same thing. He might have half a foot of height on her, but he trains like the world will crush him if he’s not perfect. And that’s very Moonshadow assassin in its own right, because it will, and it tried. Tiadrin knew what she needed. And she knew what Runaan, soft boy that he is, needed. And she made sure she trained it into him, all day every day.
Tiadrin is one of the reasons that Runaan survived the fight in Harrow’s chamber. She made him the fighter he is, the person he is, and that was just enough to pull him through... so he could see his own mentor trapped in a coin. Yay, thanks Viren.
Theory Part II: Runaan’s squad was made up of all the elves Tiadrin has personally trained, or trained by proxy.
If Tiadrin was Runaan’s trainer and mentor, then her honor was his honor. And when she supposedly faltered and fled at the Storm Spire, that suddenly cast him, as an individual assassin and as the current assassin leader, in a terrible light. If his mentor was a coward, what did she teach him? Would he also duck and run when things got hopeless, and abandon his duty?
The doubt that must’ve swirled around him when the village learned the terrible news about Lain and Tiadrin must’ve sliced right through him. Thousand-yard stare, biggest internal Oh No ever. Runaan lives to serve his people, and to have them doubt him, after all he has done to train them and protect them from harm, would be the worst kind of pain. He had to make it right.
But not just him. Assassins seem to take solo missions even for their first kill, if Eljaal’s covered shoulders are any indication. You can Moonshadow your feels if you don’t have to watch your friend kill someone, if you don’t have anyone watching while you stab someone to death. You can pretend it’s all serene and just and smooth and valid and honorable. You can hold to your love of life and dance right past your embrace of death, if no one else sees it. But Runaan’s mission had 6 members. They were definitely going to have to watch each other murder people. Why?
Tiadrin’s honor was their honor. An extended family of brothers, sisters, cousins, fosterlings, anyone who was drawn to Tiadrin, or her to them, bonded together over their family feels and protective instincts. They were family. And then their leader fell, her honor crushed.
They had to make it right.
They all carried Tiadrin’s honor with their own, taught by her personally, regarded as honorable assassins. Until she seemed to have a fatal flaw in her character. Then everyone wondered if that flaw got passed down, too. The assassins had to prove that it hadn’t been, for the sake of their people, and for all of Xadia who trusted them to take out threats in the dark. They had to go set right Tiadrin’s “mistake” and take Harrow for Zym’s death. All of them. Every single one, no exceptions.
No exceptions. That’s why Rayla had to go, too. Tiadrin taught Runaan everything he knew about being an assassin, and when she moved to the Storm Spire, Runaan dutifully passed Rayla’s mother’s teachings to Rayla herself, feeling like part of the family, an essential connection between mother and daughter, between assassin mentor and mentee. He tried to get it just right, just perfect, so Rayla would feel like she’d been trained by her actual mom as much as possible. Not just because Tiadrin was Rayla’s mother, but because Runaan respects Tiadrin’s prowess so much. She was the best, and every bit of Runaan’s efforts to be his best reflects his respect for her.
You don’t get to be the assassin leader unless you’re the best there is. Runaan knows that from both sides. And just like Tiadrin did with him, he does his best to teach Rayla everything she needs to stay safe and alive, so she can do her duty too, and come home safe to her family every day.
And, in the end, part of that duty had to be avenging her mentor’s mentor, her own mother, by accompanying Runaan on his mission. Her lessons were from Tiadrin, one step removed. If there was a flaw in her training, no one would trust her when it was her turn to lead the assassins, and she’s not even done training yet! Rayla understood Moonshadow honor, assassin honor. She was driven to ask Runaan to take her with him, and he could see exactly where she was coming from. Their honor was tangled up with Tiadrin’s. They couldn’t back out. They had to go to Katolis, them and everyone else Tiadrin had trained.
That’s why the binding ribbons came out. They were in a do-or-die situation, in the most literal sense.
They could not go home in failure. If they all failed, it would take out a whole line of assassin training, possibly the same one that had lasted for countless generations (okay maybe we can count them and there are like 30) and crush the Moonshadows’ spirits. And they’d literally rather die than see that happen. They were all ready to give their lives to restore Tiadrin’s honor, and their own, because without her legacy, there would be such a crater in the assassin corps that it might never recover.
Yes, this is basically my angsty “Runaan’s found family went into battle together and most of them died” headcanon again, but this time with a solid theory behind it. I’m not sorry. I love this angsty idea, it’s horrible. Do you see the cycle of trauma? I’ve got one more part to add, which may make it clearer.
Theory Part III: Assassin leaders always go serve at the Storm Spire once they successfully train their own replacement.
In this theory’s version of Why Laindrin Went To The Storm Spire, Tiadrin was always going to end up at the Storm Spire, once she became the assassin leader. That’s where the veteran assassin leader goes, see, to liaison between the dragon throne and the current Moonshadow leader. They know the assassins’ skills far better than any Skywings or dragons do, and they know the leader in charge of them, so they can give guidance or direction as needed, or simply phrase the Dragon King or Queen’s request in such language that the assassin leader knows intuitively what really needs to be done.
Yeah, Tiadrin writing Runaan mission directives. I can see it.
Tiadrin’s mentor would’ve left for the Spire when Tiadrin got promoted to leader. The person she trusted most in the world, who had trained her, left her behind, only to communicate by long distance. Moonshadow deniability, amirite--we’re not stabbing people, we’re sending tactical correspondence, yep that’s it. But Tiadrin was still surrounded by Runaan and the other young assassins, and she bonded with them all, and life was bright.
Then, the shadow came once again. Runaan was an excellent student, and she knew he was ready. Maybe she delayed, and delayed, Moonshadowing her reasons. Maybe she wanted the chance to bring life into the world, to try to balance out some of the death she had dealt. Maybe she wanted a few more years of domestic life in the Silvergrove with all her favorite elves, to bolster her heart for the years to come. Maybe her mentor at the Spire was up to shenaniganry in dragon politics and she wanted to buy them more time to lay those plans in place.
Knowing Tiadrin even the slightest bit, I will assume it was all this and more. But eventually, she couldn’t put things off any longer. She had to go fulfill her duty to the dragon throne and join the Dragonguard as the representative of the Moonshadow assassins who had bound themselves to the protection of Xadia long ago. She had to walk away from her bright life, her family, her friends, her allies, and climb up into that misty stone tower, to spend who knows how long away from everything she knew and loved.
And she did. She chose to walk away, for love of Xadia. She took her beloved husband with her, but she left the Silvergrove, Xadia’s protection, and her own daughter’s upbringing in the hands of the elf she chose to replace her. The soft boy she’d taught to stab, who would teach her baby girl to stab, too.
Because this is The Way.
I know I’ve had an angsty headcanon that assassins don’t retire. But, consider this: maybe one of them can. One of Tiadrin’s many plans could have been counting on Runaan’s extreme prowess and devotion to Rayla. If Tiadrin knew that she could return to the Silvergrove in peace and retire there with Lain once Runaan trained Rayla to take his place as the assassin leader, then she could live in the Silvergrove again for the rest of her life, and also get to see Rayla grown big and strong and become the assassin leader herself, another proud elf in a long line of honor and tradition. She might feel that was a big accomplishment, considering the dangers they all face. And it would be.
Yes, this would hinge on the fact that Runaan would have to leave the Silvergrove to replace Tiadrin at the Storm Spire, to serve as Rayla’s liaison to the dragon throne. Cycles of trauma, remember? Tiadrin can’t have all of her family back in one place, ever again. She has to love and train someone enough to put them through the life that she’s having to live, and she has to be strong enough not to let that break her. And then, she has to choose between them. She chose Runaan first, so that she could hope to choose Rayla later. She trusted him with all the future happiness of her heart. And he did his best with it.
But they didn’t quite make it, in the end, because of Viren.
I know this has been a lot of angst. I know. But there is a moonlit lining to this theory, and I think we all need to consider it. If there is a cycle of taking the assassin leader out of the Silvergrove to serve the dragon throne for ancient promise reasons, then if that ancient promise is ever rescinded or redressed in an effective way, the family won’t need to keep yeeting loved ones out of its orbit. And if assassins cease to be a necessary evil as a result, then no one will have to leave, or stab, again. At least, not for the same angsty reasons. They could stay together and never need to leave again.
It won’t be easy to break such a cycle. It might be impossible. But if anyone can manage it, it’ll be Tiadrin, and her family.
extra headcanon for this theory:
Tiadrin, packing up for the Storm Spire: One last thing, Runaan.
Runaan, stoically attentive because what are feels on the day your mentor leaves you: Yes, Tiadrin?
Tiadrin: Ethari will need to pick an apprentice to replace him, too. He should start looking now.
Runaan: Why? Only the Silvergrove’s Master Craftsman gets to pick an apprentice, and Ethari isn’t--
Tiadrin: *wink” Not yet, he’s not.
Runaan: Tiadrin, please, what have you done?
Tiadrin: I want to come back here someday, Runaan. I want to see your good work with Rayla. And I can’t do that if you flat-out refuse to leave your husband when Avizandum calls for you to replace me. So he needs to be ready to leave, too.
Runaan: I, I, I would nev-- I couldn’t--
Tiadrin: *patting his shoulder briskly as she strides out* Mmhmm, sure thing, kid. The council votes him in next Thursday. Be good while I’m gone! I want to find this place exactly the way I’m leaving it. Lain, honey, get your coat!
Lain, in the next room: Yes, Tiadrin!
Runaan, soft-eyed, to the silence in her wake: Yes, Tiadrin.
#tdp#tdp theory#tdp angst#laindrin#tiadrin#runaan#rayla#tdp headcanons#i liked her before but now i adore her
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BnHA Chapter 286: VESTIGE ANTICS ARE A GO
Previously on BnHA: Deku was all “what’s the record for most consecutive bone breaks within the span of a single minute” and, without waiting for an answer, proceeded to unleash roughly 17 Smashes onto Tomura. Kacchan was all “THAT DOES IT, I’M TAKING THE REINS OF THIS SHITSHOW” and carried Endeavor and Shouto up to where the action was so Endeavor could hit Tomura with a Prominence Burn. AFO was all “Tomura would you rather burn to death or let me take over your body” and Tomura was all “...” and so AFO TOOK OVER and was all “STABBITY STABBITY” and used his Stabbing Quirk to do some Good Old Fashioned STABBIN’. First he stabbed Endeavor, and then he was all “hee and now I’m gonna stab Deku”, but Kacchan was all “SIR THAT’S MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT RIVAL” and so he rushed on in AND GOT HIMSELF STABBED INSTEAD. And so basically THIS PAST WHOLE WEEK HAS BEEN A RIDE, LET ME TELL YOU.
Today on BnHA: Kacchan is all “sup Deku lemme just downplay how I totally took this fatal blow for you just now” before he dramatically passes out and is caught by Todoroki “BTDUBS I CAN FLY NOW” Shouto, who is also carrying his dad because the kids really are just doing it all, here. AllForRaki Tomura For One is all “HAHA BAKUGOU IS PRETTY DUMB”, at which point Deku just LOSES IT ENTIRELY and ASCENDS INTO A NEW PLANE OF FURY LIKE A LITTLE GREEN RAGE BUDDHA. But then like two seconds later Tomura is all “ANYWAY, SO” and FUCKING TOUCHES DEKU’S FACE, CAUSING THE TWO OF THEM TO ASTROPROJECT INTO THE FREAKY OFA/AFO MINDSCAPE BECAUSE THIS CHAPTER IS BANANAS. Vestige!AFO is all “reports of my demise were greatly exaggerated but aren’t you glad I saved your life though, Tomura”, while Tomura is all “!!” because he’s hopefully starting to get A Clue, and meanwhile Deku just stands there watching all “what the fuck.” The chapter ends with SHIMURA MCFUCKING NANA showing up all, “HI, I HEARD SOME BITCHES WERE TRYING TO HAVE A GIRL POWER ARC, AND THEY DIDN’T INVITE ME.” Go on, Nana. Give ‘em hell.
you guys. I’m not normally one to take pleasure in another human being’s misfortune. BUT THAT SAID, there are exceptions to every rule, and so let’s just say certain events have transpired early this morning which have PUT ME IN A VERY, LET’S JUST SAY, NOT-TERRIBLE MOOD which this chapter will hopefully improve upon!!
oh my god Deku’s one non-fucked-up eye that he still has control over is SO WIDE YOU GUYS
hmm I know I shouldn’t be all (゜▽゜) while the two of them are all (； ▼ Д ▼) (⁰ Д゜;) ... and yet here we are. btw I’m worried tumblr’s formatting will ruin those two emojis which I worked so hard to get just right so I’m gonna repost them on another line here just in case
(； ▼ Д ▼) (⁰ Д゜;) that’s them. Kacchan and Deku. my boys
HERE COMES THE CHEESY “JUST GOT STABBED BETTER PLAY IT OFF ALL COOL!!!” ONE LINER OH MY GOD
(ETA: really love how my son, with what for all he knows could be his dying breaths, decides that the absolute most important thing is to preserve his selfish asshole facade so as not to fuck up his status quo with his rival. “LOOKEE HERE I GOT MYSELF ALL STABBED AND SHIT FOR YOU, BUT I TOTALLY JUST DID IT BECAUSE I WAS TIRED OF YOU GETTING ALL THE COOL HERO MOMENTS” yeah, that’s right! SELFLESS MOTIVATIONS, WHAT ARE THOSE sob.
also tbh I’m glad they didn’t delve any further into their feelings right here and now because this really isn’t the place or time for it sadly. WE WILL JUST PUT THOSE ON HOLD UNTIL AFTER THE ARC ENDS, when they are all recovering from their various wounds and traumas and have time to catch up and have some long-overdue heart-to-hearts. it deserves its own chapter or two or three. maybe time to head back to Ground Beta once they’re healthy? “healthy” perhaps being a relative term given their current condition fjsdjkf.)
by the way it looks from here like only the ones through his torso and shoulder actually hit, so that’s something at least. WE’VE LOST ENOUGH LEGS TODAY. I need to conserve my remaining puns
MEANWHILE TOMURA IS HAVING A CRISIS
ARE YOU MAD AT YOUR EVIL DAD TOMURA. HE JUST WON’T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER WILL HE, THAT GUY
anyway so it looks like Kacchan might have caught a break here because AFO/Tomura is pulling the stabby quirk activation tendril things back out! rip, “Kacchan vs. Deku part 3″ theories
p.s. I got ALL CAUGHT UP IN THE DRAMA and thus glossed over the chapter title which is “one among us”! hmmm this is definitely AFO/OFA related, calling it now. ooh lord I am excited
NOW MY SON IS DRAMATICALLY FALLING
THE BLOOD FROM THE MOUTH OOF NOT GOOD AHHHH. DEKU’S FACE AHHHH. HIS BODY JUST WENT TOTALLY LIMP DID HE PASS OUT AHHHH. SOMEONE CATCH HIM!!
BY HIS FOOT, SHOUTO?!
well NOT EXACTLY THE MOST GRACEFUL THING I’VE EVER SEEN, but we’ll allow it because HOLY SHIT BOY. ARE YOU ALREADY CARRYING YOUR DAD ON TOP OF THAT?? HORIKOSHI PLEASE CONFIRM, IS TODOROKI MOTHERFUCKING SHOUTO FUCKING FLYING AROUND UNBALANCED AF ON HIS ONE FLAMEY LEG, CARRYING HIS 500 LB POP AND NOW HIS FLOPPY PASSED OUT BEST FRIEND AS WELL?!? HOLY SHIT TODO?!?!
LADIES AND GENTLEFRIENDS OF THE VILLAIN STANDOM, FEAR NOT, TOMURA’S HAIR IS THE FIRST THING THAT GREW BACK LOL
even before his eyeballs kfldkakjk. which, btw, how does he even know what’s going on right now? “this fight has shed a lot of useless blood” sdkmkjl okay well (1) WHOSE FAULT WAS THAT, AGAIN??, (2) SERIOUSLY THOUGH, HOW DOES HE EVEN KNOW WHAT’S HAPPENING. DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO YOU STABBED?? ARE YOU EFFECTIVELY BLIND FOR THE NEXT FEW SECONDS HERE, WHAT’S GOING ON, and lastly (3) I seriously can’t tell if this is AFO or Tomura talking right now. or are they going back and forth?? help this is so confusing
HEY
THE DISRESPECT. I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW KACCHAN ANGST IS NEVER USELESS!!
AND NOW HE’S BACK TO THE STABBING JFKJLKJLF I AM NOT TOO HAPPY WITH YOU RIGHT NOW MISTER
okay and now we’re cutting to some quick panels of the unconscious Aizawa, Gran, and Ryuukyuu, along with the “still conscious but in a very real sense might as well not be counted” Manual who is really having a day, that poor guy
anyway but then there’s also some dialogue boxes being all “if you act out of rage your power will respond accordingly, the most important part is to keep your head clear.” which I’m like 90% sure is Deku/OFA related, but honestly NOTHING ABOUT THIS CHAPTER IS CLEAR SO FAR YOU GUYS. except for the Shouto-is-a-badass part anyway
HMM YEP I’M GONNA GO WITH DEKU-RELATED
it must be a callback to some line I’m forgetting. maybe Lariat explaining Blackwhip to him that one time. probably should have been in italics if it was a flashback quote, but hey. anyways the point is Deku is absolutely, 100% following this advice to the letter (/s)
(ETA: yep I’m almost positive this is the same quote from chapter 213. “listen, when you use this power out of anger, it’ll really start working for you. what really matters is controlling your heart.” which is still one of the weirdest pieces of advice in the entire series, but basically I think he was just trying to tell him it’s okay to get mad, so long as it’s calmly mad. like, controlled fury, as opposed to this white-hot berserker nonsense he’s been running on as of late. anyways I do still love me some shounen rage all the same but Lariat has a point.)
...
it took me a minute to realize THOSE WERE DEKU’S EYES. holy --
AND ANOTHER MINUTE TO REALIZE THAT DEKU FUCKING GRABBED THE ACTIVATION TENDRIL WITH HIS BUSTED UP OFA HANDS AND BIT INTO IT WITH HIS RABID OFA JAWS AND SNAPPED THAT SHIT LIKE A FUCKING KITKAT KLJLKSJDLKJFLK WOOOOOOOO I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT’S HAPPENING BUT GODDAMN. POWER MOVE
(ETA: this is a two-page spread omg. I didn’t even realize at first. this scan ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT DO THIS BADASS PAGE ANY KIND OF JUSTICE but I can’t wait to see the real deal on Sunday holy shit.)
LMAO
DEKU RAGED SO HARD HE TURNED INTO AN ANGRY GHOST SONIC THE HEDGEHOG FKLSKG
(ETA: he actually looks a bit like the Vestiges/Kurogiri tbh.)
meanwhile Tomura basically has the exact same face I would have had in his position. yeah for real man. I don’t even know
p.s. WHEN will people learn to STOP INSULTING KACCHAN IN DEKU’S PRESENCE. WHEN, I ASK!!
WHAT IN THE CINNAMON TOAST FUCK
if this was a physical page I was holding I would have FLUNG THAT SHIT AWAY LIKE THERE WAS A SPIDER CRAWLING ON IT. WHAT THE FUCK
HOT DAMN. well uh. so that’s SUPER DISTURBING, what a lovely panel of Tomura’s melted face slowly growing back while his ears lag behind, and meanwhile that little scar that had been growing and growing and which at one point certain people (ME) thought might turn him into a BEAUTIFUL BUTTERLY instead RIPS HIS FACE IN HALF to reveal the KINDER EGG AFO SURPRISE UNDERNEATH AHHHHH TAKE IT BACK
THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T LET MAD SCIENTISTS PERFORM EXPERIMENTS ON YOU, KIDS. PSA. JUST SAY NO
-- NO!!!
HORIKOSHI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
fuck
oh my god. I almost would have rather cut away right after the Kacchan incident than freaking cut away NOW of all times, jesus. THAT’S JUST A BITCH MOVE, IS WHAT THAT IS. if we don’t cut back within the next three pages I SWEAR TO GOD
anyway so GUESS WHAT GIGANTOMACHIA’S DOING YOU GUYS. if you guessed “the exact same thing he was doing last time we saw him” then you are absolutely right, because it was actually PRETTY EASY TO GUESS
anyway but he says he detects “master’s scent”, except that there’s apparently two of them. interesting! one in Tartarus and one in Jakku, right? lol Horikoshi has burned me so many times already with his excruciatingly slow reveal of this that I’m not gonna hold my breath just yet, but I’ll get the hype train warmed up JUST IN CASE
okay so meanwhile in downtown Jakku, the heroes are handing off the civilians over to the police and rescue forces while they prepare to engage with “the villain”, by which I assume they mean Gigantomachia. does this mean Iida and Ochako are gonna fight Machia you guys omg
OOH!!!
“PLEASE INFORM THEM ON FOOT” well I know a certain SPEEDY BOI who would be PERFECT for that job oh my. make haste, Tenyar FastmLeggy
WAIT WHICH WAY ARE THEY HEADING
ARE THEY HEADING TOWARDS MACHIA OR TOWARDS DEKU AND AFO
so rather than answering my VERY PERTINENT question, Ochako is instead spending an entire page thinking about how their complete clusterfuck of a life keeps getting exponentially worse all the time! well but she’s not wrong though
NOW SHE’S ALL “GUYS...!” and, rather than explaining ANYTHING AT ALL, Horikoshi is again cutting back to THIS, OMG AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
(ETA: good thing Kacchan wasn’t awake to see his dramatic “I’ll just get myself impaled for Deku’s sake” plan result in this outcome ALL OF TWENTY SECONDS LATER smdh.)
I ACTUALLY PREFER MY DEKUS NON-CRUMBLED, THANKS. ALSO JUST ON A SIDE NOTE, POOR SHOUTO THOUGH. THE LAST NINETY SECONDS OR SO HAVE BEEN ENOUGH NIGHTMARE FUEL FOR A LIFETIME HAVEN’T THEY
so now he’s all “MIDORIYA!!!” because OF COURSE HE IS. his best friend just got impaled, and his dad too, and now he fully expects to see his other best friend crumble to dust right before his eyes holy shit. T R A U M A ™
-- !!!
somehow in the excitement of the moment I forgot his actual goal for a sec lol. meaning I instantaneously switched from HORRIFIED to GRINNING LIKE A MANIAC :D :D :D come on OFA time to show him what’s what
AND NOW WE’RE SWITCHING OVER TO EVERYONE’S FAVORITE TRIPPY DREAM LANDSCAPE FOR ADDITIONAL DRAMA, WELL OKAY
I’M ON BOARD WITH THIS, WHATEVER. also it’s becoming increasingly apparent that Deku is in fact nekkid underneath that mystical cloud bs, so let’s hope one of his remaining yet-to-be-unlocked quirks is a pants-conjuring quirk lulz
“this place...” yeah we all fucking know what this place is son, let’s get on with this. by my count we’ve only got four pages left so PLEASE BUDGET THEM WISELY
OH MY
holy shit. I have so many screaming thoughts about this lol but I just want to keep on reading lkjlkjlkjl okay I’ll come back later and edit them in, how’s that
OR MAYBE I’LL JUST RANT ABOUT THEM NOW GODDAMMIT
shit. okay let me just try and sum this up as quick as I can
so just in case it wasn’t already crystal clear, AFO’s soul being roommates with Tomura’s seems to be just about 100% confirmed now. good for you, All For One For All theory!! the “Kacchan loses his quirk” theory died so that you might live on in glory
AFO does seem to have almost fully taken control now. it looks like Tomura’s still fighting back, but AFO clearly has the upper hand now if their body language is any indication. Tomura on his knees with AFO calmly holding him down and ignoring his struggles... not looking too good for him at the moment
people seem to have somewhat lost sight of this in the midst of the great “heroes vs. villains Who Is Right Who Is Wrong What Are Morals” debate of 2020, but just a friendly reminder that AFO is in fact responsible for 100% of all of Tomura’s suffering from pretty much the moment he was born up till this very moment we’re now witnessing!! like, you can go ahead and blame Nana and Gran and The Complacent Apathy Of Hero Society and whatever the fuck else from here till Sunday, but All for One is the reason Kotarou was orphaned. All for One is almost certainly the reason why the seemingly quirkless Tenko suddenly just magically developed THE MOST FUCKED UP QUIRK OF ALL TIME at the worst possible moment. All for One is probably the reason why no one helped Traumatized Baby Tenko in the immediate aftermath (I can and likely will write a separate post about this in the near future). All for One is definitely the reason why no one helped Tenko at any point after that. All for One is the reason why Tenko grew up all fucked in the head (“HERE’S YOUR DEAD FAMILY’S HANDS, MERRY CHRISTMAS”), and the reason why he grew up blaming Heroes and Society rather than the sole person who was actually responsible who was literally standing right in front of him the entire time. and lastly, All for One is the reason why Tomura has now been manipulated into unknowingly sacrificing his own body and possibly even his mind. so THANKS A LOT FOR THAT. more like jerk for one amiright
basically what I’m trying to say is that Deku and Tomura are not actually enemies here, and they never have been. the two of them have a common enemy, and I’m convinced Tomura’s story is about him eventually coming to realize this. and this looks to be the first step towards that, for two reasons. one, because AFO is finally starting to out himself to Tomura as the rat bastard he has always been. and two, because Deku is catching a glimpse of this now for the very first time. up until now he didn’t have a damn clue lol. but this is now something for him to file away in the back of his mind, and perhaps follow up on at a later date, once all of this craziness finally subsides and he has some time to process
anyway, so that’s basically it! tl;dr AFO is the final villain and unless I’m very much mistaken, this scene is going to finally start to set that up. let’s read on!
OMG
NANA?!?
lKDSJFLKSHGLISHDOGIHOLRKL
NOOOOOO I can’t believe it fucking ended there I can’t fucking believe it, fuck everything
smdh. what a place to end it. didn’t confirm a damn thing. not even whose mental landscape all of this is actually taking place in! like, don’t mind me though Horikoshi, it’s not like THE FATE OF THE WORLD HINGES ON THIS QUESTION OR ANYTHING except oh wait it really kind of does. kljkj
but seriously. because if it’s Deku’s mind, it means that Tomura’s attempt to take his quirk wasn’t successful. but if it’s Tomura’s mind, though... well... hhhhhhkhfff
or it could be both, I guess. more of that “AFO and OFA are the same quirk and thus linked” goodness. oh man. anyways stay tuned for next week when Nana presumably helps Deku out with the rest of that black fog and also hopefully finds him some pants. or maybe Nana can just go fight AFO herself. a little payback for everything he’s done to her protege and to her grandson. either way I CAN’T WAIT omg. VESTIGE ANTICS ARE A GO
#bnha 286#midoriya izuku#shigaraki tomura#all for one#bakugou katsuki#todoroki shouto#shimura nana#bnha#boku no hero academia#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#bnha manga spoilers#makeste reads bnha#never thought we'd be this close to getting to see nana punch afo in the face#please horikoshi I beg of you please let this happen#if this holds up next week pretty much every single lady of bnha will have gotten their chance to shine in this arc#well except for ochako#but things are looking up on that front too!#what a time to be alive
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Are fat people oppressed?
I see everywhere that the fa/haes movement wants to "lift the voices of those I'm marginalized bodies". Well I guess I'll play my cards in this instance. So as a fat trans person with developmental defects, here's my answer:
No. Not in the slightest. Not at all. Do we (fat people) face harassment? Yeah. We get body shamed all the time. But that's about it. In fact, I have never been personally shamed once for my weight since grade school. That's half my life. An entire decade. Ever since then I've never been treated differently than my thin peers.
I see all these FAs/haes folks complain about this or that in regards to this supposed "fat oppression" and none of their claims are founded in any science-based evidence.
Some jobs won't hire fat people because they are very labor intensive and need workers that are fit in order to do the jobs. These are rare and even so they will sometimes hire fat people even when they probably shouldn't. If you're not the best fit for a job, you're gonna get turned down. That's just how it is. An extremely thin person will get turned down for the same job too due to not being fit enough.
Mainstream clothing is made to fit mainstream people. If you're a 3XL I'm sorry but your body isn't mainstream. Same with 3XS. Most stores don't carry stuff for extremely thin or extremely tall people. Is that discrimination? No, it's just companies making stuff that will make the the most profit.
Doctors will usually ask you to lose weight first because they want to eliminate the most likely cause of the problem first. Your medical conditions could be caused by something else, yes, but it's most likely caused by your weight. Even if it isn't, being at a healthy or at least healthier weight will help your body recover and improve your health overall. Unless your are underweight or at a healthy weight, it is always a good idea to lose weight.
No, airplane seats, booths at restaurants, chairs with arms, etc. Are not fatphobic and thin people don't have some sort of privilege when it comes to these things. what you're experiencing is called fat consequence.
Fat people are not oppressed and to insist so just shows how privileged you are to have faced so little actual oppression that you think things that hurt your feelings is oppression. And it's incredibly insulting to people who are actually oppressed. You having the privilege to live in a country where it is possible to stuff yourself so much and so often that it kills you is not in any way comparable to it being legal to refuse you medical assistance for religious reasons or your murder being defendable and excusable in court. Fat people are not oppressed.
In fact, I'd argue that we are very privileged. We have the privilege of having such an abundance of food that we can eat ourselves into immobility.
We have the privilege of being able to form a community around being fat and have our faces on magazines just because of our weight while there is no such thing for thin or even underweight people. Where's the support for the anorexics? Who's telling them that they're beautiful and that "fighting against their biology" is thinphobic?
We have the privilege of taking up more space and resources than is our fair share.
We have the privilege of our disease being normalized and accepted. No one bats an eye at an obese person anymore unless it's really bad. Healthy weight people will get asked if they have an eating disorder all the time but no one cares if you're 100 lbs overweight. Most people are overweight or obese. It is far beyond normalized, it's accepted when it shouldn't be.
Thin people are not the privileged ones, we are.
#anti health at every size#anti obesity#anti fat positivity#obesity epidemic#anti fat activism#thin privilege
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Understanding What It Feels Like Is Simpler Than It Seems
TW: mention of e*ting dis*rders
From a very young age, I remember having body image issues. It all started when I was about 11 years old. This is when I started to gain more weight than I was supposed to for my age and my dad consistently reminded me how fat I was and how I needed to stop eating so much and lose weight. Between my dad’s criticism and my self-doubt, I started to compare myself with all the other girls around my age at school. Even though I wasn’t the only big girl in my class, I seemed to be one of the only girls that were most bothered by the fact that I was overweight. Since no one could completely relate to the way I felt, I started to isolate myself more than I already had been doing since I didn’t have a lot of friends, to begin with.
At home, both of my parents worked a lot, so I barely got to see them, and when I did my dad continuously critiqued the way I looked which made me distance myself from him. At school, no one seemed to understand how I felt. 𝙄 𝙛𝙚𝙡𝙩 𝙖𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙚, 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙖𝙣 𝙤𝙪𝙩𝙘𝙖𝙨𝙩 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙄 𝙬𝙚𝙣𝙩. Since I was alone for the majority of the time, when I drastically reduced the amount of food I ate, no one really noticed, so when I lost about 23 lbs in a month, 𝘯𝘰 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘥, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴. The positive reinforcement definitely fed into my idea that the thinner I get, the more people would like me, which caused me to drop another 20 lbs in that same year.
After achieving my weight goal, my relationship with food did not improve, I was never satisfied. Since I never saw myself thin enough, I would have phases in which I would allow myself to eat more, in excess even, until I would realize that I gained too much weight again. This created a cycle in my teenage years in which I would let myself enjoy food for a period of time only to get extremely upset when the weight gain came, for which I forced myself to stop eating and even considered purging it a few times unsuccessfully, to then lose all the weight again.
While all this happened, I tried talking to my friends about what I was going through, but they seemed to judge me for my actions, or oversimplify my problems and just tell me to “eat more and not be dumb about it”. They would just tell me to get over it, that I should simply accept myself the way I looked and not change as if it was that easy. I wouldn’t say that I have completely recovered from this cycle, but now that I certainly have a better understanding of what I was going through and the basics of nutrition, after doing extensive research over the past years, I understand that my friends had no ill intent and they were genuinely trying to help me, but they were simply misinformed. They believed that if I just stopped comparing myself to other people and “just think of myself as beautiful”, it would fix everything when this is far from the truth. I don’t want more people to feel as misunderstood as I did back in the day, so my personal experience motivated me to explain the major causes that push someone to disordered eating and e.d’s so people around them can understand them and empathize with their loved ones so they have the confidence to speak up about their issues and receive the help they need or even prevent situations that lead to eating disorders.
The are many reasons and factors that affect someone enough that it could lead them to disordered eating. According to many studies, it has been determined that the three main categories these factors are classified in are: environmental, psychological, and biological. A misconception that the general public has been led to believe is that the real and only cause of eating disorders is simply “bad parenting” or the media’s advertising of unrealistic slim figures. The reality is that different types of eating disorders come with a different factor that has been proven to be the causation of these. For example, for anorexia nervosa, some common factors seem to be genetics as 40% of this seems it could influence and improve the risk of development, as well as having a perfectionist and anxious personality, for which this becomes a way of regaining the sense of control in their lives.
Psychological and biological factors cannot be always easily changed as these involve their personality and their literal genetic material. It is still being researched, but there has been proven that there is a connection between one’s genetics and being more susceptible to developing an eating disorder, which has no solution. What can be modified with time, however, is one’s self-esteem, as well as anxious and perfectionist behavior. To improve one’s self-image, it is important to be surrounded by supportive people to remind them that their value does not depend on their image alone and therapy would be a great way of starting this process of new self-discovery.
Parenting, depending on how it is done, seems to indeed have an effect on people’s possible development of eating disorders. It has been observed that parents that have family meals build a better relationship with food for their children as they can teach them to have a balanced meal with an appropriate amount. On the other hand, parents that diet around their children, involuntarily model these behaviors in which they limit their food to look a certain way. Overall, it has been observed that parents with more open communication tend to have better relationships with their children and therefore build their trust as well as notice if their eating behaviors drastically change, for which it is recommended to build one’s children trust so they feel safe enough to speak about the issues they might be going through without judging them since this will make them want to avoid any type of serious conversation with them.
Even though there are uncontrollable factors, such as severe childhood trauma, dysfunctional family dynamics, stressful life changes, or even childhood sexual abuse, there are some environmental factors that can be controlled to a certain extent such as peer pressure among friends and family to look a certain way. If children are taught from a young age that all bodies are valid and there was implemented a mentoring program in elementary and middle schools in which younger children could talk with an older one about the things that worry them, about their feelings and house circumstances, many situations could be avoided as they could be advised and guided as these are things older teens have most likely experienced one way or another, or if the situation requires it, report to an adult the possible abuse some children take and take action if the mentor believes the child does not live in a safe environment. Having someone to talk to without feeling like they are in the wrong or feeling judged, could save the lives of many children and young teenagers as it would encourage them to seek help from their mentors and they could involve adults and professionals if the circumstances require it.
If small changes are implemented slowly into one’s life, such as simply having dinner as a family, or avoiding any unnecessary criticism not only to someone’s friends, but to the people around them as well, implementing a mentoring program in schools could not be completely impossible to fathom and it would definitely have a positive impact on people who are more prone to developing eating disorders. We cannot change what is being broadcasted in the media, but if we start by simply spreading kindness, people are more likely to approach us with their concerns, and therefore obtain the help they need. If people took into consideration that there are other people more sensitive to certain topics were mindful when they spoke and shared with those who don’t understand why, that it is not as easy as simply eating more or loving yourself the way you are, that there are deeper issues behind these disorders, they could 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗵𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗴𝗼 𝗮 𝘀𝗶𝘁𝘂𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗼𝗻𝗲.
PS. here are pictures of what I looked like at 11 before, a few months after, and then a year after I lost weight without people questioning it.
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Marinette March Day 25 - Order of the Guardians
Someone's got their eyes on Ladybug. But who are they reporting to?
@marinettemarch
Enjoy!
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The lucky charm dropped into her hands and Ladybug narrowed her eyes at it as the sounds of battle raged on around her.
“How am I supposed to defeat the bulldozer akuma with an egg beater…?” The empty air had no answers for her, so she pulled out her yoyo and began spinning it to leap back into the fight.
And that’s when she saw them.
Bundled up like they were, it was hard to tell anything about them besides the fact that they were human and were definitely staring at her. Which wasn’t that much of an unusual occurrence in the city except for two things.
First, they were staring right at her, unconcerned with the battle raging around them. Even the explosions and yelling didn’t phase them in the slightest. Most people would take cover, especially with the fighting so close. But not them.
Second, this wasn’t the first time Ladybug had seen them. For the past two weeks, she’d seen them lurking around during akuma battles. Never getting involved, but never running away either. Always just… watching. It was starting to make her suspicious.
“LB, I could use a hand over here!” Chat Noir’s yell pulled her attention back to the fight.
By the time she remembered the stranger, she was sharing a fist bump with Chat. She glanced back at where she had seen them, but saw nothing. The shrill beeping of her earrings put thoughts of mysterious strangers out of her mind as she ran for a safe place to hide.
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“...Based on what I have seen, it is my belief that the Ladybug of Paris is the new Guardian of the Miracle Box,” Initiate Yuhan said. “I have personally witnessed her handing out miraculous to individuals before retrieving them at the end of a specific conflict.”
The five elders nodded. Elder Yong asked, “And how would you judge her capabilities as Guardian?”
“Highly skilled,” Yuhan replied without hesitation. “She seems to be able to peer into the hearts of people and none have been poor fits for their miraculous. At worst, her chosen are occasionally gifted with power before their time, but all have been seamless matches for both the miraculous and the struggle that necessitates their arrival.”
“Is she well versed in the Guardian arts?” Elder Wuhan leaned forward, her hand resting on her lap as she watched him intently.
“As adept as one trained outside the monastery can be. She at least possesses a gift for alchemy and a powerful bond with the kwami under her care.”
“None of that matters if she isn’t strong enough to defend the miraculous,” Elder Yahzu growled. “How do we know they are safe in her hands?”
Initiate Yuhan cleared his throat. “Master, I do not believe that will be an issue. Both the ones known as Ladybug and Chat Noir make use of their miraculous far more often than previous wielders have. They are infused with power on a nearly daily basis. Often multiple times a day.”
At once all the elders began speaking over each other. It did not surprise Yuhan. This was nearly unprecedented, after all. The expectation was that, usually, a miraculous wielder might be called on to use their powers once a week, at most.
“Quantity is one matter,” Elder Wuhan said. “But inner strength is another entirely. What feats has she accomplished?”
“I have personally bore witness to Ladybug and Chat Noir each using two miraculous at once,” Yuhan paused to let the whispers die down before adding. “What’s more, I have recovered evidence that the one known as Ladybug has wielded nearly all miraculous of her box at once.”
Contrary to the uproar he expected this information to cause, Yuhan instead looked up to see a look of stunned disbelief on all their faces.
“All those who are in favor of letting the miracle box stay in the care of this Ladybug - say aye.”
A chorus of five ayes sounded as one.
“I’m glad this is clearly not as pressing an issue as we had expected,” Elder Yong remarked drily. “It gives us time to regroup and gather information. Soon, we will lend our strength to this Ladybug and bring justice to this Hawkmoth villain.”
“But for now, the miracle box is in as worthy hands as it can be.”
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There’s something I want to talk about and I’m going to try to articulate it as well as possible.
Here’s the background of this post: I am not pro eating disorder. Mine formed when I was young, before I even knew it was an eating disorder. I didn’t know until I almost went inpatient.
It took me two years to consider myself fully recovered with some tiny relapses. This is my first huge relapse, where I’ve once again found myself underweight, in a very long time. I never wanted this.
So, being the type of blog I run, sometimes I see posts that are in the tune of “Imagine finally waking up, seeing your hip bones, feeling tiny, wearing cute clothes, and reaching your goal” and other’s that are like “The reality is you lose your hair, your motivation, your friends, everything. This isn’t glamorous.”
I want to offer my perspective. I genuinely believe eating disorders are a mix of both. I think all of those posts are so black and white. It’s either “You’ll finally be the fairy you want to be!” or “That’s false. You’ll be dying.”
You will be both. One day you’ll be who you wanted to be. One day you’ll lay in your bed and wonder if you even have the energy to get up.
Being that people with eating disorder’s usually think they look better thin, and I am also one of those people, I’ll say it. I’m capable of putting my outfits on and I can admit it’s much easier to get dressed. Sometimes, though, hours after thinking an outfit looks great, I’ll look in the mirror and think “Wait. I actually look fat. Oh my god. Oh my god. I’m so fat” but I can also sometimes acknowledge that yes. My clothes do look better. I do look better. I can make a tee and jeans fashionable in ways I couldn’t before. But I can also decide I can’t hours later.
I can wake up in the morning and feel the bruise on my knees from them hitting together. I’ve got knobby knees. I think “I’m tiny. This wouldn’t happen if I wasn't.” I feel my laptop resting against my hip bones right now. It’s comforting. I stare at my wrist bones as I drive. I like it. I can wake up and feel good. I wake up and feel like a different person.
On the other hand, I can wake up and think “God, I feel so fat today. I must be retaining water, or maybe it’s when I overate 2 days ago, maybe it did make me gain weight. Oh my god, my stomach is so bloated. Oh my god, I look the same as I did 30 lbs ago. Oh my god.” and the entire day is bad. I’ll debate staying in.
Weighing in in the morning effects my entire day on both sides.
I’ve kept my friends. We go out often. When we take pictures and now, I think “Wow. I might be the skinny friend now.” but other angles I’ll think “I’m still fat.” Going out to eat is a nightmare. That social situation is ruined. But I still try to go and pick at something. It’s ruined certain situations for me but I’m not in my bed depressed 24/7
Boys do look at me differently. But it’s a mix of both. One boy didn’t notice me in class until I was skinny, at least as far as I know. Perhaps I’ve convinced myself of that. Another boy is overly concerned for me. I used to think he thought I was cute, but recent things make me think he feels sorry for me. It’s a mix of “I’m skinny and that’s why he likes me” and “I’m skinny and he thinks I’m weird.”
Lastly, once people start commenting, it never feels good. When I started losing again I was offended nobody noticed. Then they did and I regretted ever thinking I was upset nobody seemed to notice because “I must look the same then.” Now it’s a constant flow of people telling me to eat, asking what I've eaten. People have seen me and asked when the last time they saw me was, then I watched them mentally count. They mention how quickly I’ve managed to look like a different person. People ask how you did it and you want to die. You shrug it off with stress. People’s comments have never made me happy. They make me feel ugly. They make me feel like I look weird. They make me feel like a spectacle. Nobody is going to watch you drop excessive weight in one month and think you did well. Nobody is going to watch you drop excessive weight in one month and think it’s admirable, or you’re so pretty and tiny now. They’ll just be concerned and cautious.
This post is very long and I’m sorry if you’ve had to scroll past it and didn’t want to. But I wanted to in depth share my opinions on these posts. They’re all so black and white. The ones mentioning the good things get written off as promoting eating disorders. The ones mentioning the bad things are considered the only reality and what should be done. But eating disorders are a weird, sick, mix of both. I’m not even sad. My eating disorder is about control and an obsessive thing. I just wanted to share my opinion and my experience over the past what’s been years of my life now
And one last thing. It’s okay to have an eating disorder that’s not anorexia. Just because it’s the most acknowledged doesn’t mean it’s what you have.
#Anorexia#Anorexya#Anorexyc#Anorexiia#Anorexic#pro ana#proana#eating disorder#not pro just using tags#thoughts
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@cosmicnexus said:
// i don't even know the whole story but i know based on the red x's on the picture those kids ain't alright and i am S A D but holy fuck jay this picture is amazing!!! the shading and the rendering!!!!
// AaaaaAAAA thank you Kato ;w; You’re always far too good to me and I love you <3<3<3
The basic story is this is Braig’s little ‘inner circle’ group of best friends. He met Hano (the Cathar) when he was three, and they’ve been best friends ever since; he met Naweh (the Tarasin) not long after, and she fit in with them perfectly; He met Booda (the Gungan) when he was four, Lohata (the Rodian) when he was five, and he sort of knew the Affgor twins, Garak and Shah-Ki (the Weequay) in passing, but he didn’t actually know them until their Gathering, when the seven of them - at age seven - went to find their kyber crystals. Ever since the Gathering, they’ve sort of been their own little clique, so they refer to their collective selves as ‘the Gathering group’. Not very creative, but it suits their purposes.
(Little fun fact: Braig’s the oldest of all of them! Technically they’re all born in the same year, but he was born first. The actual age order is Braig -> Lohata -> Hano -> Naweh -> Booda -> the Twins. The Twins don’t know which one of them was born first, and change their answer depending on their moods.)
(more details under a cut because I rambled)
Tarasins, such as Naweh, have skin that changes colour based on their emotions. They can learn to control the changes, and even use them to communicate when they get older. Normally, Naweh keeps herself a calm, neutral blue-purple-green, but she knows her friends don’t care, so right now, she’s a happy/excited pink-yellow-orange. Anyone who knows Tarasin skin colours would take one look at her and go ‘wow, she’s stoked to be there’.
One of Naweh’s favourite places to be was the nurseries. She always said if she hadn’t been chosen to pursue knighthood, she would’ve been happy working with the younglings (to the point where if she ever had the Group’s braincell and advised against something, they’d usually chorus a light-hearted ‘Yes, Crechemaster’). She loved kids. That’s why, aside from encouraging Hano to embrace his bastard status, she’s braiding Braig’s hair. She doesn’t have hair of her own, but some of the little ones do, and having it braided makes it easier for them to do their training. She’s practicing braids so she can help the kids better on her next shift. (That’s also why she has a bunch of hair ties around her wrist, in part. She also just wore them because most of her close friends - Braig, Hano, the twins - have long hair, so she comes prepared in case they lose one of their own ties.)
She gets a red X because she was in her beloved nurseries when Order 66 was declared. She died shielding the younglings, helping the staff smuggle them out. One of the last things she ever did was use the Force to shove some of the smaller ones into a ventilation duct in the hopes they might escape. She knew she wouldn’t. If you were to find her body after the Purge, you’d find her still covering some little ones who weren’t so lucky, a guardian to the last.
Of course we all know and love Braig. I don’t have too much to say about him here, since, again, we know him already. He’s napping because he’s warm and safe, the Force in the gardens and with his friends feels amazing, and he’s been getting his hair played with for the past five minutes. He’s also, as the group’s healer, on standby in case Booda’s prosthetics hurt her, but they all trust the Twins’ work enough that he feels safe dozing.
He survives Order 66, so no X - but his connection to the Living Force, combined with so many deaths all at once, leaves him with near-permanent metaphysical chronic pain. Sometimes, the literal air around him just feels painful to him. It sucks.
Hano is the tallest and strongest of the group. He evens out at 7′5, over 300 lbs. The Force gave him a bronze crystal when he was young and he did not disappoint. The necklace he wears is actually a trophy from the first hunt he went on, a rite of passage among Cathar. The trophy just lets other Cathar know he completed the hunt and can be welcomed as an adult into their society. Given that he was training as a tracker (Braig always called him ‘the greatest/most skilled tracker I’ve ever met’), his success was inevitable. As intimidating as he can be, he’s a gentle giant and a goofball at heart. He’ll tear it up on the battlefield, sure, but he’ll also use the fact he’s strong enough to lift a clone trooper in one arm to carry wounded men back to safety, to carry his friends around for fun, or to help the men, other Jedi, and the Temple staff with more strenuous physical labor. He also enjoys play-fighting, especially with Braig and Naweh, and the control he learned through the rigorous training of a Jedi means he can easily do so without hurting them. He’s always had a penchant for mischief, which is why he’s been telling dumb jokes and awful puns for the past little while.
(Bonus fun fact: I joked, years ago, that he’s large enough that when he goes out with his friends - especially Small Friend Braig - he gets mistaken as their master. When I posted a WIP of this in my discord server, my friend Reece assumed he was their dad, so. It looks like that’s not a joke and actually happens, and Braig was quietly sulking that he’s three months older for a while after. Hano continues to think it’s funny.)
He survived Order 66, barely. He was blinded and lost a leg in an explosion (hence the red scribbles). His master, Yokar Eedai, hid him among rubble, commed some of his non-Jedi friends to find the location, and then lead the clones away at the cost of his own life. Hano spent many years hiding in the Outer Rim in self-imposed exile. (He does eventually reunite with Braig, though. If you swing by Braig’s weapons shop, you can usually see him there, bandages tied over his eyes and metallic claws peeking out from under his left pantleg.)
Garak and Shah-Ki aren’t very talkative or physically affectionate. They show their love for their friends through inclusion and acts of service. When they were young, still forming their group, Braig always thought that they were ‘each others’ best friend, and could live without the rest of us’. While that may have once been true, they’ve bonded with the rest of the Group quite thoroughly. So Garak is brushing Hano’s hair for him (Hano usually wears it in braids) and Shah-Ki is fixing Booda’s prosthetics, though they’re both debating the best way to enhance the water-proofing without sacrificing mobility. The twins were training as Shadows, a rare variant of Jedi that specializes in stealth missions. They were also brilliant slicers and engineers, making them incredible secret agents. By the time they were senior padawans, they could make not only themselves invisible through the Force, but one or two others, as well. They would often use this talent to bring one of the others of their group to see what they had most recently found or made. The rest of the Group always joked that you never knew what it was going to be. It could be a store room in the Temple that had fallen out of use, it could be a Battle Droid they repurposed, or it could be the complete dossier of someone who wasn’t legally supposed to exist. Just whatever they thought was cool.
Their penchant for going unnoticed also meant that they heard, intentionally or otherwise, all sorts of gossip throughout the Temple. They’d usually share interesting tidbits at mealtimes with their friends, a practice Naweh had affectionately dubbed ‘Holocast T’.
While Weequay can grow hair, braids are significant to them culturally, representing how many times they’ve visited their home planet of Sriluur. Because of this, the twins opted to have silka bead padawan ‘braids’ instead.
They were finishing up a mission when Order 66 hit. While they were never as outwardly friendly as some others, they did trust their men, and as such didn’t think to hide themselves from those that became their executioners until it was too late. They died only moments apart, still reaching out to each other, but weren’t quite able to touch.
Lohata and Booda are dating! They like to pretend nobody knows. The entire Group knows, of course, but they pretend they don’t, for their sake.
Lohata is as close to a ‘mom friend’ as you can get when you don’t have a mom and haven’t been raised to know what having a mom is like. She usually has the braincell, and does her best to make sure the others can get out of any trouble they get into. That’s not to say that she doesn’t get into trouble a lot, too, she’s just usually the one who can bail them out when ‘blame it on Braig’ isn’t feasible. She’s also a bookworm, and usually has a datapad in her hand (she always appreciated that her friends would just let her read when they all hang out, jumping into and out of the conversation whenever she wanted without judgement. It was nice). She and Braig often exchange ‘pads from the archives (with Mistress Jocasta’s permission) if they found one they thought the other would like. She has a fairly dry sense of humor, which is why she’s in the middle of telling Hano that if he tells the one about the Womprat and the Quacta again, she’s defecting to the Separatists so she can hit him with a tree branch without getting in trouble. (Hano, being Assigned Disaster At Birth, is now figuring out how to reroute the conversation into a good segue for the one about the Womprat and the Quacta.)
Aside from reading, she loved flying and singing, and was quite good at both - though she wouldn’t admit to the second. When Booda was recovering from getting her prosthetics for the first time, Lohata used to sing to her to help her relax. She wasn’t quite as good at dancing ad Booda was, but, if they had a moment alone, she’d make the effort for her girlfriend.
Booda is much sunnier and more open than Lohata, but not as outgoing as Braig (hence why he’s usually their mastermind). She has a joy and genuine love for life, and, in the moment, is just happy to be home with all her friends, all safe and together and able to relax for once.
As a Gungan, she knows all too well how her species is regarded by the rest of the Galaxy. She’s trained herself to not speak Gungan Basic in an effort to appear more ‘civilized’ and ‘respectable’ as a Jedi, and to hopefully avoid the negative stereotypes. (She only ever speaks it to other Gungans, now, and tries to avoid doing so in public.) Like Naweh, she figured if she ever got tired of field work, she’d be happy in the Temple - though she wanted to work in the Archives, not the nursery. She was a cultures nerd, like Braig, and the two of them often edited each others’ cultural papers and assignments before handing them in.
Booda got her prosthetics after a mission went wrong, damaging both her arms beyond repair for the current Jedi on the scene. Her master, a Nautolan named Nid Arto, blamed himself for it, and had to speak to his own (former) master at length and meditate for a while to come to terms with it. He visited her for hours on end every day in the Temple’s medbay until she was cleared. She hadn’t yet turned 16, so she was still growing - this, as well as the frequent wear and tear of missions, meant that she had to get them replaced quite often. Oddly enough, this helped her come to terms with it more. At Nid’s suggestion, she started getting coloured casings for them, and that made it a bit more fun. The Group would often visit her after these procedures with washable markers and draw or write little notes and designs on, which made it even better. By the time of this little meeting of theirs, she’s grown used to them, and is quite pleased with these new pink casings (they’re her favourite colour).
She’s also the best dancer of the group, and usually teaches the others different dancing styles to help with diplomatic missions. Naweh, Braig, and Lohata are her usual students, as they’re the ones who do diplomacy more often (and she likes being able to dance with her girlfriend). Hano doesn’t do high society - it’s hard enough to get him to put on a shirt, he hates how it feels with fur - and the twins are shadows, not consulars or guardians. The three of them still show up for support and shenanigans, though. The twins are quite good at a Corellian waltz. Booda and Braig had a long-running joke about how he insisted dancing was just like sparring without hitting each other, dips were take-downs you stopped half way, et cetera, and she, through increasing giggles, would try to convince him to stop trying to punch foreign dignitaries to music.
When Order 66 happened, Booda, Nid, and Lohata had just finished up a mission to Naboo (Lohata’s master had been sick, so Nid invited her along for the ride). They’d finished up early, so Nid, who knows Lohata likes to fly and Booda likes being on Naboo, decided to let the girls get a bit of flight practice in (with Queen Jamilla’s permission) in friendly skies. The men turned on them, and Lohata’s ship crashed, knocking her out. It was the fire and injuries that eventually took her life. Booda tried to pull her out, but only succeeded in damaging her prosthetics before Nid pulled her away to get her running. The two of them hid in a lake. When the men dropped depth charges, Nid shielded Booda and died in the process. She hid under water and in under-water caverns with air pockets for days, peeking out to still see her master’s corpse floating there before someone eventually removed it. She would never really be able to leave the lakeshore again, barely being able to venture into town for food weeks later, and to get her arms fixed over a year after the Purge. She, too, eventually reconnects with Hano and Braig - while she never feels safe leaving her lake, they make sure to comm her fairly regularly, and visit in person when they can, and it’s the closest to feeling truly safe she’s been in decades.
#cosmicnexus#&& give the sun a head start; ooc#&& temple archives; headcanons#&& from creche to grave; the gathering group#&& brave new worlds; padawan#&& end of days; order 66#tl;dr jay loves their kids#and as such makes them suffer
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How to rig a daisy chain to bring the sailfish to your boat
Of all the billfish that make up the most attractive sport fishing available, sailfish are held uniquely in high regard. Whether it's determining how fast sailfish really can swim or what their famous dorsal fins do, these fish are far and away some of the most interesting prey for sporting anglers on the planet. So what should you consider when you are learning how to rig a daisy chain to bring the sailfish to your boat?
What Makes a Sailfish a Sailfish?
There are purportedly two species of sailfish, the Atlantic sailfish and the Indo-Pacific sailfish. However, science has led us to believe that they are in fact one species. Given that scientists have been unable to find genetic evidence distinguishing them, it’s probably safe to lump them together.
Sailfish have the reputation as the fastest fish in the sea. And with the largest sailfish caught weighing in at 220 lbs or so, that is a lot of very athletic, hard-fighting, and dangerously bill-waving pelagic and migratory sea-creature to handle.
Taking on a top gamefish is something of a dream for many anglers. So if you are lucky enough to gear up to take one on, you might want to make sure you are giving yourself the best tools to succeed.
The Sailfish Habits that Explain Why You Should You Learn How to Rig A Daisy Chain
And that’s what brings us to this next part. Not only will we tell you why you should learn how to rig a daisy chain to bring sailfish to your boat , but also why that technique is effective.
This top gamefish doesn’t just go for any single lure. Their specific hunting preference make it critical to put together the right presentation.
Getting the Bill: How Sailfish Eat
The key to catching sailfish is understanding their hunting patterns. This fish species is very sophisticated hunter. These fish have learned that hunting as a group results in more meals for all the group members. Sailfish have collectively learned their techniques over generations and generations to make themselves faster, better, stronger.
Teamwork Makes the Dreamwork for Hungry Sailfish
Although they’ve been known to live independently, sailfish generally indulge in the fact that they can team up with other sailfish. They carefully limit the numbers of their gang. The number of sailfish hunting a baitfish school is basically a fixed ratio; too many sailfish, and the fish can’t secure enough prey; too few, and the school that they’re hunting might be able to evade the sailfish with many fewer losses.
As you might guess from looking at a sailfish, they hunt using their bills. (They are also known as bayonet-fish, after all).
Scientists have discovered they use two specific methods. The first is called “tapping”; poking or spearing already targeted fish with their bill. And the second is called “slashing”, where they’ll use their overwhelming speed and power to flail across the ranks of schooling fish desperate to escape them.
All of the sailfish’s hunting efforts are focused on the back of the school. Because their energy can be exhausted relatively quickly, their goal is to slow down the unlucky fish that are already bringing up the rear. And this will have implications to why you want to learn how to rig a daisy chain to bring the sailfish to your boat.
The sailfish exert great energy to stun, wound, and otherwise slow down as many of the most vulnerable fish as they can. This means that as the main school of mackerel or other baitfish escape, the sailfish are left with plenty of wounded or disoriented prey to chase down and eat.
Amusingly, they also display a right or left-handed preference while making their moves on schooling fish. And their self-organizing hunting gangs tend to have even numbers of sailfish with each tendency, so no matter which way the school breaks, they have their bases covered.
Never Break the (Daisy) Chain
As you can see, by learning how to rig a daisy chain to bring the sailfish to your boat, you get to take advantage of what these billfish are born and bred to do: attack small numbers of injured fish that were force to separate from the school and become sailfish dinner.
This means a daisy chain, which is a string of high-test leader line with multiple lures spaced evenly, can upset the water in a way that would mimic a small group of fish that were injured stragglers separated from their main school.
The first step on how to rig a Daisy chain to bring the sailfish to your boat is to understand how the setup best works. Daisy chains are NOT necessarily meant to be the bait that you want your sailfish to hit.
Because you probably don’t have a professional crew that’s helping you prep fresh mackerel for bait every few hours, a daisy chain with artificial lures can keep you fishing with even the most basic rig; just a daisy chain in your wake, and a couple of other poles rigged with bigger lures for when the sailfish appear.
The Presentation is Why Sailfish Strike
When you want to know how to rig a daisy chain to bring sailfish to your boat, it helps to know the “why.” Basically, what’s the daisy chain is doing is acting as a BIG tease for these fish.
You want the daisy chain to act like the injured remnants of a school of fish. Generally the best way to achieve this is rigging the daisy chain so it stays closer to your wake. The churning water, noise from your motor, and the flashes of the lures will definitely grab any sailfish’s attention.
However, to rig up a successful daisy chain lure, you don’t want to quit there. Although the excitement created by the daisy chain may garner sailfish attention, you have to make sure the presentation makes sense to the sailfish.
One of the most effective methods is to use the daisy chain to “raise” sailfish; not to hook them on it, but to get their attention.
You cast out a bigger single lure behind the daisy chain. That placement puts your main lure directly in between the sailfish and the daisy chain that caught its attention in the first place.
The reason that this works is because it makes an even more realistic picture for the sailfish. It’s a fish eat fish world out there. You’ve set up with the daisy chain closer to the boat, setting up the look of frenzied confused fish.
You then have a large lure that looks like it’s totally focused on pursuing this easy prey. The sailfish, of course, is the top dog; and your lure will be the first thing it hits because it’s the competition for the daisy chain!
(A brief aside: If your concern is catching an IGFA world-record sailfish, there should only be one hook on the chain of lures. If you’re fishing for your own satisfaction, it’s totally up to you).
From the perspective of the sailfish, they’ll see a small predator (aka qualifying sailfish-food) fully engrossed in chasing even easier prey out in front of them. This whole picture should rile up a sailfish to the point at which they are at their most aggravated, aggressive, and likely to bite.
Different Chains for Different Folks
Part of what makes it worthwhile for you to learn how to rig a daisy chain to bring sailfish to your boat is the sheer diversity of daisy chain rigs you can put together.
Pro Status
Want to use live ballyhoo for bait like the professionals? You can check out this article by Steve Kantner on the FishTrack website that takes you knot-by-knot, step-by-step through gearing up live ballyhoo. The slideshow attached is great and well worth your time to read, since you want to know how to rig a daisy chain to bring the sailfish to your boat
If you’ve got no live ballyhoo available to you (or it’s not within your skill bracket or budget), don’t worry, you shouldn’t have to boo-hoo!
H3: Rigging a Daisy Chain for Regular Folks
Whether you choose eBay, Amazon, or an independent company, there are more than enough folks ready and willing to supply you with pre-assembled daisy chains that are far more durable (meaning more time with lines in the water, and less time twisting copper wire around a ballyhoo’s bill).
Daisy chains that you buy from a vendor will usually be made of 120-200lb test, often feature nifty features like individual swivels for each lure. And the price shouldn’t break the bank either. Prices between 20 and 40 USD means that even the thriftiest sporting angler can feel a lot better about how much they’re REALLY spending for how much value… fishing budget be damned.
After all, your daisy chain, especially with artificial lures, is how you’re supposed to RAISE fish, not catch them. Your setup doesn’t need to be sophisticated; just use it to troll, and watch carefully for any sailfish you might raise.
Sailfish Study
Even though they fight hard, sailfish aren’t considered fish to be fought on heavy tackle. Their energy usually flags quickly after their rapid bursts of show acrobatics like tail-walking on the water or charging flat out for 300 yards (toward or away from the boat!).
And since they’re gamefish that aren’t generally considered good eating, there’s a sporting aspect that lighter tackle will tire the fish out less and let them recover faster to provide you with another fight another day.
Since we’ve covered the major points of how to rig a daisy chain to bring the sailfish to your boat, you might want a refresher where you should be once you’re geared up and ready to go.
If your sailfish adventures tend to take place on the Atlantic ocean, it’s said that the best time of year is the colder season (November through May) with January and February being the best months.
At that time the sailfish will be riding the ocean swells south, surfing their way to their winter grounds. And even though fighting a sailfish in rough weather might be one of the most exciting fishing that there is to be done, don’t forget that those sailfish bills mean business. It takes a savvy captain to get out of the way of a charging billfish and keep them on, no matter the climate.
One of the last, but most important fine points of how to rig a daisy chain to bring the sailfish to your boat. Have a good pair of gloves! They will protect you, your hands, and give you the safest way to hold up the sailfish of your dreams before you release to grow just a little bit bigger for your next trip. Happy fishing!
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We have a new citizen in Mount Phoenix:
Kang Dongho, who is known by no other name;
a 25 year old son of Erh-Lang.
He is an office worker.
FC NAME/GROUP: Kang Dongho (Baekho), NU’EST
CHARACTER NAME: Kang Dongho
AGE/DATE OF BIRTH: 25, July 21st, 1994
PLACE OF BIRTH: Jeju Island
OCCUPATION: Office worker & Exorcist
HEIGHT: 175 cm / 5’9”
WEIGHT: 75 kg / 165 lbs
DEFINING FEATURES: Tattoos on chest, left forearm, right tricep, right leg. A perpetual 5 o’clock shadow and facial acne scars, large physique. Double piercings and cartilage piercings that are taken out for work.
PERSONALITY: Outwardly, Dongho tries his best to show the better side of him, the carefree, laissez-faire, but yet passionate attitude. He’s genuinely fun-loving and kind, and even has somewhat of a sentimental streak to him— though it’s often overshadowed by his appearance, resulting in Dongho worrying about it and often trying out new looks to look less, well, scary.
It’s not like his unapproachability is unwarranted. He’s hyper focused when it comes to his work, and for the people who know him well, his anger management is off the charts in terms of terrible and it often turns into unadulterated rage. Befriending Dongho would have to mean dealing with the constant roller coaster of high and low of emotions, self loathing and repressed memories, even though he tries his best to keep himself guarded.
HISTORY: (Tw: eating disorder, parental neglect and abuse, minor death)
There was not a moment in Dongho’s childhood where he couldn’t stop crying—not since birth. He saw much more than the average child and it scared his mother. people on their island revered ones who could see beyond the realm of existence, and others were afraid of such power, including his mother. She was hysteric when he cried but eventually learned to barely tolerate it, coping with the screaming child by remarrying and getting herself a new son. He woke up suddenly one night, a disfigured spirit standing over him. Dongho shrieked and shrieked but his mother never came for him, only when his voice goes raspy and with tears in his eyes does his enraged mother storms into his room to slap him across the face. He’s five when Dongho learns to cry silently, as not to get beaten by his parents, who disregard him completely for their other son.
Dongho has always loved to eat—it’s more of an oral fixation more than anything, he found himself easily overweight in his early childhood and in his teenage years and as far as into his young adult age. His mother’s cold attitude towards him became constant nagging about his weight. Dongho, eager to please just to achieve maybe a sliver of affection, starved himself. Only until he’s overwhelmed by hunger, he eats. Looking back, Dongho wasn’t sure if he ate himself to sickness or his guilt rendered him sick, but he found himself keeled over the toilet bowl, retching out the contents of his binge. He wasn’t dumb; he knew what this was, but it gave him sort of morbid high.
It’s during that time Dongho also explored his affinity to the spirit world, he found temporary friends and solace in attached and lingering souls and helped them pass on. He learned that he can chase and ward off the less than friendly spirits too, and his ability becomes the word of mouth around town, distressed homeowners and elderly often sought Dongho out to help them get rid of malicious spirits in exchange for braised meat, oranges and money. It wasn’t long before his mother caught on to his part time job, often stripping him from the fruits of his labour. Dongho held in his rage until he reached his room, he muffled his rage with a pillow, fingers itching for something to break. Sometimes he when didn’t manage to control his anger, screaming fits between he and his mother would disturb the quiet neighbourhood.
One of his friends from high school has a shaman relative, and they get their auras read for the fun of it. The frail looking woman’s eyes widened before pulling him aside with unexpected strength, she began quickly questioning him. Dongho didn’t really understand a word except for some bits. “Wait what, no, I don’t have feral urges, no, what? I definitely do not turn into an animal.” She made a tutting sound but pressed no further, telling him that perhaps his time had just not yet come.
It’s only a week later, Dongho woke to the blood curdling scream of his stepfather screaming in alert of an intruder. He pounced towards the commotion, trying to show no fear on his face to attempt to chase off the intruder. Maybe it’s the adrenaline—he was suddenly aware of his surroundings, his stepfather crumpled on the floor, the shrill screech coming from the killer burglar, who was, for some reason more afraid of Dongho than Dongho was of him. He wanted to chase after the man and bring justice to his own hands as the wicked man stumbled over his feet and out of the door, but he’s more concerned about his family and moved to find them.
They’re hidden in the bathroom, but at the sight of Dongho, they shrieked for him to stay away. Dongho saw red and bared his teeth, but caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror and he was suddenly afraid of himself, staring at the reflection of a tiger. He roared and tried to escape the bathroom, smashing everything on his way out. He heard the wailing voice of his mother calling for the police and animal services and Dongho tried to yell but his voice didn’t escape, and so he ran out of his home on all fours, sirens beginning to wail in the distance. It’s only when he was decently far from home, Dongho realized that he was back on his twos, it set in as he began wheezing from physical exertion. There was no money in his pajama pockets to ride home, so he had no choice but to walk back.
It’s daybreak by the time his tired feet got home, already surrounded by police, no longer concerned about a tiger on the prowl, and rather the bloody mess of his stepfather. He was immediately questioned, and despite how absurd his alibi was, they let him off. In the following days, Dongho was under the disdainful and disgusted gaze of his mother. He heard it when she muttered that the murderer should’ve killed him instead. He set his jaw and ignored it, coming home later than usual, off on more exorcism jobs. He has a destination in mind; he confided in the shaman and she shared to him about some sort of sanctuary for people like him—not a monster she said kindly, but a demi-god, like herself. Dongho told his mother that he’s moving to Incheon, and she laughed at his face, not believing him. He packed up anyways and headed to the mainland equipped with a knapsack, his mother wouldn’t miss him. He’s sixteen when he leaves home—
—but he’s twenty-five now. Living alone, free from his mother’s cruelty and prejudice. He’s got a regular nine to five desk job now too, but spends his evenings chasing off some nasty spirits in Mount Phoenix and its surrounding areas. He’s still trying to recover from binge eating, though, but it’s going well. Anything is better than being back in his childhood home.
PANTHEON: Chinese
CHILD OF: Erh-Lang
POWERS: Dongho can both see and touch spirits, powers which he utilizes to chase away and ward off evil spirits as a side gig, but also helps talking spirits into passing on. He’s also able to shapeshift into a few animals, though his repertoire is still rather lacking. It doesn’t really matter anyways because he is only ever seen shifting into the form of a white tiger, ‘cause it’s his favourite one anyways.
STRENGTHS:
Can pack a mean punch
Kumdo… though it’s useless in this day and era
Brute strength is his only strength
WEAKNESSES:
Cannot clean for the life of him
Has difficulty with self restraint
Low pain tolerance
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A Boy Called Red 8
This chapter has a lot of narration from Granny, so I wanted to tell y’all that I’ve always seen this character like Violet Devereaux from The Skeleton Key, if you need some reference for how she sounds or imagining her, whatever. So, Gena Rowlands doing her best with an old Louisiana accent. It was actually a pretty damn good accent.
To Whom It May Concern
A lot of things have happened in my long life. Not too long ago, though, the world ended. I was prepared. I been prepared for the end of the world since I knew what the world was. Whenever my daddy came into the room where my sister and I slept and treated us like objects, whenever I had a baby behind it at 12, whenever I bashed it open and fed it to the wolves in the woods… My world was over long before the rest of it. So, I stayed ready. I was on my own at 13. I married at 14. Nice enough man for a pedophile. At least I was taken care of. At least he wasn’t my daddy. A few years passed with me learning how to survive whenever he was off somewhere before I got pregnant with my first baby. That other abomination - I didn’t even count it. I didn’t even think about it half the time.
I had my first baby and he was the love of my life. His daddy gave me two others before he got sick and passed on. By that time, I was 23, and I’ll tell you the truth, I didn’t like leaving my home. The town changed around me. It was growing, things were being built. I didn’t like being a part of all of that, but my children did. As they got older, they went further into the town, deeper into the city, moved to other cities… I stayed where I was.
Whenever the world ended, they were here, with me. I didn’t want them to leave, to go back out there. I had animals and plants I was raising. I always did. But, the wolves came through to take them. I shot a few. Skinned them, made myself jerky, froze what I could… But, being one person, I couldn’t fight them all off. Eventually, the wolves outnumbered me, outnumbered my guns, and I had to take cover when they came calling to steal my livestock. I had to start using tunnels that my husband had initially used for workspace and storage. I hadn’t used that space since he passed away. Then, I started having to use it on a daily basis. And my family was gone. I presumed that they were out there someplace. Dead. But, my little grandson Sammy is the proof that at least one of them is okay. Sammy made it back...
Mercedes sat Sam down on the ground and addressed his wounds. “I have to try to tend to these, now that we’ve gotten away from them. Since I gotta take a break anyway. I mean, I’m strong, but I’m not an ox.” She was used to tending to wounds. Wolf life was definitely scrappy whenever it wasn’t detrimental. Sam was unconscious. He was dead weight right now and she had been carrying him on her back for a while. Kurt checked his inventory. He needed more stones. They heard Marley let out a wild scream and Mercedes winced, “Are we going back for your friend?”
Kurt sighed and looked at her, annoyed, “What is with you, huh? Why are you so intent to rush into a pack and try to save someone?”
“Haven’t you ever felt responsible for something? For someone?” She wondered, unable to look at him, because she was checking on Sam.
“I have several people that I am responsible for. That’s exactly why I’m not in a rush to throw my life out of the window. You keep wanting to do things, not because you feel responsible for somebody, but because you feel guilty. You’ve had to make shitty decisions and you don’t like it and whoever your mother is, she isn’t around to take the heat, right now! Just shut up! They’ll hear us and figure out where we’ve run off to.” He grabbed Sam’s arms and began to drag him; but, Mercedes stopped him and put Sam back on her back.
“You know, just because you’re right about some things doesn’t mean that you always have to feel like you need to use your words against people. It’s a tough world. We all do things we aren’t proud of. Some of us don’t even try to make stuff right. I don’t get you being upset with me for trying to.”
“Get yourself killed if it eases your conscious. Leave me out of that,” he told her. “We aren’t too far from where we left her.”
The injury that I’m gonna die from is from the fall. If I would have just let that gullible cub help me out, I might be here, recovering. Instead, I’m here, barely able to breathe. My lungs feel like they’re working harder than they should be. Probably filled with fluid. I needed some antibiotics after that amputation. I needed… Maybe I should have just went into the city with my surviving kids. I lost my firstborn son, not very long after the world ended. That precious darling rushed here to make sure his mama was okay. He tried to get me to come with him. He tried to get his siblings to convince me to come with him. I assured him that it was safer here. Obviously, I was wrong. He died, right on that front porch, right in front of my face, right in my arms…
And I couldn’t give him my tears. I was in shock. I was frozen until I realized that I still had children and grandchildren inside. I dragged him in. I bolted the doors. I turned off all of the lights. His brother wanted to bury him, but by that time, the livestock was low and the wolves were multiplying. It was only right that we should benefit from his loss! His brother and sister didn’t see it that way. They took their children and left. They didn’t even want me to kiss my grandkids goodbye. “You let this all ruin you, Mama,” Dwight told me as he pried Sammy out of my embrace. “You let life ruin you.” They were gone. I ate my firstborn in rations. I prepped the meat with the utmost care and concern. I froze everything that I couldn’t cook or make jerky out of. I put spare parts into a stew. I wouldn’t waste anything of his body. I let life ruin me? But, your son has rushed back to his granny… in the midst of wolves. Had they stayed here, every one of us would have been fine. I’ve gotta get to my firstborn’s grave. I gotta do it so that they realize that’s where to bury me.
“Am I tripping, or wasn’t his meemaw right here?” Mercedes wondered.
Kurt frowned, “She’s moved. Why would she move? That’ll kill her quicker?”
“Maybe there’s a certain place she wanted to die?” Mercedes suggested.
“Well… She can’t walk, so I guess we follow these tracks in the dirt. She dragged herself to wherever that place is.” They walked a little bit further and sure enough, right around a corner, they found her, barely breathing, rested against a stone with carvings in it, with a photograph.
Mercedes sat Sam down next to her and tried to pick up the rock, but it was bigger than it seemed and the other part was buried in the ground. “Oh my God, I think it’s supposed to be a gravestone!” She read, “Michael Walton Evans… This must be her husband or something… No… Too young. Maybe a son. She had two and a daughter in the family photos…” She tried to take the photo that granny was holding to see, but the old woman swung at her. “She’s alive!” She cheered as the weak slap connected with her face. She shook Sam. “Sam. Sam, wake up. We’ve found your Meemaw.”
He started and tried to focus. “Oh look… It's you…” He said, touching Mercedes’ cheek.
“And oh look, it’s her,” she said, taking him by the cheeks with one hand to turn his head to face his grandmother.
He gasped and suddenly had more energy as he became aware of her. “Meemaw?” He quickly checked on her and her eyes fought to open and look at him. “Hey. You remember me? I know it’s been some years, but it’s me… Sammy…”
“I remember you, Boy. You look just like me. More like your uncle Walt than like Dwight, I always said." Sam was already crying. "Shush that up, Boy. Got a lot to say and only a little time to say it in. You and this girl, you got to watch each other's backs. Ain't no trust in that Mama o' hers. S'gotta be you now. The two of you. Good kids that deserve to live. Wolves lives don't matter, but get you a pack, if you can. I'll tell you how. You got about 225 lbs of meat right here for barter…"
"Granny…" Mercedes started.
"I said hush, Girl. Y'all eat your share and barter the rest, or you salvage and freeze… got a deep freezer down here. Got a burner too. Try not to make too much smoke. Lanterns here. Wood stored away." She coughed. "If you don't barter this meat, at least live off of it. Stay here a little while. Bury the bones next to Walt's. I already made my stone. Just put the end date on it."
"Meemaw…"
"You look good, Sammy. Beat up, but healthy. Nurse yourself before you leave here, ya hear me? How's your daddy doing? Did this life ruin him?"
"No. He's doing his best."
"Good. Never was my favorite, but I always knew he was a survivor. And since you're his son, you're one too. We're fighters, Sammy. My fight is over. So,make sure this meat don't go to waste.. or to that wolf mama that stole my leg."
"Yes Ma'am."
"Gimme that bottle," she pointed and Mercedes obeyed. "This is gonna help the pain. Tools in the cabinet," she pointed to a full sized wardrobe looking cabinet as she drank.
Sam asked, "What tools?"
Mercedes opened the cabinet and said, "Meat tools."
Sam cried with his grandmother strumming his hair and humming a song. She sounded weak and he couldn't make out a melody.
No need for tears. I lived a full life. I was always cut out for a dying world. When it ended I fit right in. And now I move out of it and I have an inheritance to share with the future of my bloodline, with the future of my family. I may be leaving, but they made it.
Soon enough, she stopped humming stop strumming, and after a few more heartbeats, stopped breathing. Mercedes convinced Sam to take a drink of the liquor and he fell to sleep soon.
"We have to crash here for the night, maybe even a few days," Kurt told her. "They'll be out hunting, so I'll try to sneak back into the house and snoop around. But, if I run into trouble, don't come after me. If you make it out. Only talk to someone who knows Isabelle. She'll ask you, "So, why are you here," and you should say, "Mama caught me in the right hole."
"What?"
"Ask for Isabelle. Tell her that you know me. She'll ask you the question. That answer is the way to confirm that you did know me!" He grabbed his backpack. "In case I can't get back down here." He touched the old lady's face and told her, "You will always be remembered." Then, he was gone.
Mercedes took Granny from Sam and let him sleep things off. She hated this, but the woman was clear that she wanted her meat used, not buried. So, she made some distance between them and began to follow through. There was a trough sink that she could use and plastic wrap and bags for the meat. She placed what she could into the deep freezer. It had room, thank goodness. She looked around to see where else she might store some and ultimately decided to dare to go back into the house and use that freezer.
Sam was asleep, so she just grabbed the bloody hatchet and went on her own… the house was quiet. There was a lot of blood and streaks where bodies were dragged out. She hoped that one girl made it out. She put the bags of meat in the freezer and grabbed the abandoned fried green tomatoes, in disbelief that the wolves left them. She quickly went back through the passage and locked it behind her. Whenever she made it back, Sam was awake, crying and drinking. "Hey," she said. He looked up at her. "I've got some day old fried green tomatoes, if you're hun-" he snatched the plate and began shoveling them into his mouth.
Sam hadn't eaten in days. He got lost in the woods, had to kill, chased by murderers, locked in a cage, beaten up, watched his grandmother die, gotten drunk from a few sips of what he could only describe as probably poison, and woke up to find her body butchered. He wouldn't have an appetite if everything hadn't been so physically affecting. She grabbed a shovel and told him, "There's a cot in a cubby hole, past the trough. I'll handle the burying. You still look pretty messed up."
He stood up, dusted off his hands on his pants and took the shovel. "I saw the cot. There's also a little shower and a chest full of clothes and furs. You've done more than enough. Get washed up, get dressed, and get some sleep. I'll handle the burial. She's my family."
She nodded and gave him a hug, "I'm so sorry," she whispered. He dropped the shovel, fully embraced her back and rested against her, still pretty out of it, now that he thought about it. He pulled away, picked up the shovel and started digging. She gave him his privacy.
.
She was asleep when she felt something move near her and she grabbed the hatchet. Sam jumped and covered himself. He was naked! "Sorry! I wanted to shower and change. I tried to be quiet."
She nodded. "It's so quiet down here everything makes a little noise. She sat up and checked her lantern. It would last.
Sam grabbed something to dry off with from the chest, then slipped into a pair of sweats and a red shirt. "Move over," he said and climbed into the cot with her. Her face warmed up as she did so and he wrapped his arm around her and immediately went to sleep. Still feeling bad, she figured. At this point, he probably doesn't even care where he sleeps or who's next to him.
But, she woke up with his face nested in her breasts, both arms around her and a chubby in his sweatpants. She wriggled to free herself and took the lantern to see if she might find a place to pee… "The trough," a woman's voice croaked. Mercedes reflexively screamed and Sam reached for a weapon. Marley stepped into view, barely able to walk, covered in blood. "I need the trough," she said and grabbed the lantern to go to it. She cleaned herself up and tied her hair out of her face.
"There's a shower," Mercedes said.
"Hasn't been dead one day and you've made yourself at home," Marley complained.
Mercedes sighed and went to pee in the shower, because she didn't know where else to go. Gratefully, she only needed to do number one. When she went back to the cot, Marley was near the trough with Sam, licking his wounds… Girl. You ain't a REAL wolf! She rolled her eyes and laid back down. She could hear the two of them in there, drowning our their pain. She got up and interrupted. "Sam.. you should have the bed. You two are pretty beat up." It was like when he saw her again, he forgot his pain a little. "Are you coming?" She asked Marley.
The three went to the cot, but only two could fit. Marley said, "I can protect you from here," and sat on the ground, near the cot. She stared suspiciously at Mercedes. Mercedes cuddled closely with Sam and he wrapped her up in his arms again, but didn't fall to sleep as easily. For one thing, Marley was watching him. For another, Mercedes had seen her kiss him and might have thought that he liked her or something like that when really, he just didn't know how to respond to a wild woman pledging to protect him, then kissing him in the mouth. He didn't want Mercedes to think that something was between him and Marley.
Sleep came after a while. He woke up hearing voices.
"I won't let you hurt him," Marley said.
"I don't know how many times I can tell you that I'm not going to try to hurt him. I wasn't trying to hurt the old lady!"
"You helped kill her. I will protect her family."
"Okay, Girl. Move. Shit," Mercedes pushed her to the side and turned on the burner.
Sam came in and stared at the meat she was about to cook. "It's not her," she assured him. "This was already in the freezer whenever I went to store her meat."
He walked over to her, gave her a hug and kissed her on the temple of her head. "Thank you for everything. I wouldn't have made it without you." She felt her face warm and she looked at Marley. Marley was still starting at her. She didn't trust her. Sam gave her a hug too. "Your face looks terrible," he said. We should tend to it."
"Isabelle," she said.
Mercedes nodded, "He's not going anywhere like this. If you want to, then fine. But Sam is staying put until he recovers just like Granny said to!"
Marley said, "Careful with her."
Sam just said, "Leave her alone." Marley snarled at Mercedes and Sam pressed his forehead against hers and growled, "I said leave her!" Marley was breathing heavy as she stormed off. She left the tunnels and Mercedes smirked. Sam watched the girl leave, then turned to Mercedes. "Not sayin' that I trust you. It would be stupid of me to trust anybody at this point… But, I want to trust you. So, I've decided to treat you like I do, unless you give me a reason not to." She nodded her head. His meemaw told him that the two of them needed to have each other's backs. That was pretty much her dying wish. So he was going to be here for her, like he said, unless she gave him a reason not to.
#samcedes mercedes jones samcedes fanfiction sam evans au glee fanfiction a boy called red abcr#Samcedes#AU Glee Fanfiction#A Boy Called Red#ABCR
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Gormless Ch. 13 – Everything’s awful but lesbians are in fact REAL
A well-meaning friend gave me a book series that is hilariously bad. The first book was Souless and my riffs were entitled brainless. This second book is entitled Changless and these riff are then gormless.
I mean to say I have entitled them gormless! Not that my riffs are dumb, and the effort I spend on them stupid since I’m the only one who enjoys them. HAHA!
The story is SUPPOSED TO be about how a badass lady wearing a rad-looking carriage dress hits baddies with her umbrella and bangs her hot werewolf husband. In reality it’s mostly poor attempts at being witty, flirty, and superior.
For the last book check out the brainless tag.
If you want the TL;DR version but want to read these new riffs anyway?
This story is set in supernatural Victorian steampunk England. Alexia is our NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS protag. She is a soulless, which means she’s able to negate the abilities of vampires and werewolves by touching them. She’s recently married a big oaf, named Lord Connel Maccon. He’s the manchild in charge of the supernatural police with a zillion dollars and he’s totes super hot too ok. Their relationship is mostly arguments about how Maccon can’t tell her fucking anything. Alexia has also recently become head of ~Soulless affairs~ in Queen Victoria’s government. She has a dumb friend named Ivy, a gay vampire friend named Akeldama, a family who’s evil because they do the same shit as her but while being blonde, and most importantly Alexia is better than everyone cause…cause.
Last time on Gormless:
Turns out a preserved corpse of a Soulless person that the Kingair pack stole from Egypt is causing the humanization problem. However somebody is after that coprse, and knocked LeFoux and Lord Maccon unconscious. Alexia gonna have to fix everything herself HURMPH!
Chapter 13 – Everything’s awful but lesbians are in fact REAL
Wowzers! Here’s the climax chapter. It won’t be the height of tension, but it will be the height of my irritated confusion. My apologies for length, it was a long chapter, and full of a lot of bullshit. LET’S GO!
We get a rare good moment where Alexia looks at the passed out Maccon and worries about him. She makes a cute note about how his eyelashes are super long and once when she commented that she was jealous of his long eyelashes he tickled her neck with them. This will be the last genuinely good thing in this chapter.
Alexia goes to a recently woken up LeFoux. LeFoux is all distraught, and there’s a bullshit line about how being upset made her look slightly more feminine and Alexia, “Didn’t know if she liked that.”
CAUSE SADNESS IS A WOMAN DISEASE AND ALEXIA ONLY CARES WHAT LEVEL OF CURRENT FUCKIBLITY YOU ARE! THE LEVEL OF EGOMANIA ON THIS BITCH!
LeFoux is like, “Hey don’t be mad at the woman who shot me and your husband. She didn’t ~mean~ it.”
YES TURNS OUT THE BIG BAD OF THIS BOOK SERIES I FUCKING CALLED BACK IN CHAPTER 4 OF THE LAST BOOK! It was Angelique! GOSH WHAT A FUCKING TWIST! YOU KNOW THE CHARACTER WHO, AT THE END OF THE LAST BOOK WAS DESCRIBED IN TEXT AS A BLATANT SPY! Yet the entirety of this book Alexia thinks its LeFoux and goes so far as to think she’s faking being shot? She turns out of the room and all the werewolves are sleeping and instead of…I DON’T KNOW letting them know she’s identified the attacker? She just huffs that she must do everything herself.
GOD STUPIDITY AND A POINTLESS MARTYR COMPLEX IS REALLY FUCKING HOT! ALSO I’M GLAD THAT EVERY SINGLE WEREWOLF FELT COMFORTABLE FALLING ASLEEP WITH AN ACTIVE SHOOTER IN THEIR CASTLE THAT WAS EVEN ABLE TO PUT DOWN THEIR FORMER ALPHA!
So Alexia goes to the room where the mummy is, but Angelique is not there. So instead of disposing of the body that Angelique is clearly after, she’s runs up to the Aethongrapher room. Angelique is there and shoves her aside to escape the room. So they go back to the mummy room, and Angelique is trying to drag the body out of there. Alexia goes to shoot some of her sleepy darts at Angelique but just as she’s about to Ivy shows up to stand in front of Alexia and whine that Alexia is being callous to her. But as I have described before, this is not Ivy’s fault. Ivy’s kink is inconvenient timing. Blithering obtusely in front of a weapon while the bad guy gets away makes her CUM. The TV hasn’t been invented yet so she can’t stand in front of it during a crucial part of a show/game. SHE HAS TO FIND SOME WAY TO GET OFF!
DO YOU WANT THIS WOMAN TO NEVER ORGASM!?
Despite that Alexia is able to catch up to Angelique and knocks her unconscious with a hefty umbrella swing. She takes the mummy outside, and dissolves it using the acid function on her umbrella. I mean, I was hoping she’d go whole hog and it would come to life and fight them but WELP guess that would be stupid fun and we’re only allowed one of those things in this book and it ain’t fun. When the corpse is just about pudding, Alexia goes back in and hears Ivy scream.
OH NO!
We take a break from this regularly scheduled programming to swap over to Biffy, Channing, and Lyall at the Westminster Hive. Biffy apparently snuck in and broke their Aethonographer. This is just to let us all know that the message Angelique tried to send before didn’t get through. I mean targeting the Aethongrapher only, doesn’t make any sense AT ALL from their perspective and honestly you could have written the entire thing out to tighten up the story. But like I guess it was real important to have that bit where Alexia has to try 2 rooms to find Angelique.
FUCK ME RUNNING!
So Ivy screamed because a woken up Angelique puts a knife to Ivy’s throat and is leading her up the stairs. All the werewolves are there as well as Tunstell. Tunstell gets out the magic gun, which by the way they start calling the ‘tun tun’ which makes a lot of sense and is totes keeping it tense. Shouldn’t it be the tun gun? WHATEVER!
They go up to a room and Angelique makes Ivy open a window. Meanwhile Tunstell tries to sneak around the side while Alexia tries to distract her. By the way this is the first time we hear that Tunstell is apparently a big dude. I had totally assumed that since he was described as a meek servant/actor coated in freckles that he was a 5’5” adorable waif boy who weighs 110 lbs on a good day. I’m glad you waited till now to tell us that. After a bit of a scuffle Tunstell wrestles the knife away, saves Ivy, and Angelique tumbles to her death out the window. The gun is never shot and Chekov leaps out to die on the cold hard Scottish earth like Angelique.
Apparently there was a rope ladder leading down that window that Angelique was really hoping she’d be able to escape down, with the knife to the throat of a hostage? OKAY THEN! When Angelique woke up, why didn’t she just try to make a break for it, to avoid being persecuted by the supernatural police? What was the point of the hostage thing? Why did she have this rope ladder prepared?
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST BOOK! IT’S NOT GOOD ACTION IF THE ENTIRETY OF IT FALLS APART LIKE A BISCUIT IN TEA WHEN YOU ASK LITERALLY ANY QUESTION REGARDING IT!
You know what would have been a thousand times better? If Alexia goes to question a recently recovered Angelique, and Angelique in a panic puts a knife to a dipshit Ivy’s throat by a window. Angelique demands to be given the body. Alexia explains that she destroyed it. Angelique at first doesn’t want to believe it but eventually concedes. Saying something along the lines of, “…If I can’t deliver the body…then…then they’ll kill me…” The people there try to reassure her that they can protect her. However in Angelique’s stunned grief she slips from the window, Tunstell is able to grab Ivy but not Angelique. Was it an accident? Did she want to die on her own terms? WE’LL NEVER KNOW? The chapter ends where the crowd goes to check on her and Angelique is FOR SURE dead. LeFoux seeing the shattered body of her former lover, clutches Alexia and wails.
BUT NOPE IN FACT THIS HAPPENS NEXT!
So Alexia is the only one to go check the body. Angelique is in fact dead, but turns into a ghost. Angelique tells Alexia to perform the exorcism, which means kill her for real real. Alexia wants questions answered first. Angelique says she’ll answer 10, Alexia agrees to this.
So like…why are you going to respect her wishes now? Doesn’t she need to be persecuted under the law, or have proof of the Hive’s wrongdoing? You maybe want to give LeFoux a chance to talk to her, since she was obviously really upset and protective of her before? GUESS NOT!
Angelique, before the questioning is revealed to have done this whole task for the immortality, since she previously and is still working with the Westminster hive. She is GIVEN immortality in the form of being a ghost and is immediately like NOPE I’D RATHER DIE. HUHHHH? MAYBE IT’S NOT IDEAL VAMPIRE THING BUT REALLY?
GOD WHATEVER IT JUST GETS WORSE ANYWAY!
Angelique says that it wasn’t her who tried to break into her bag or poison her. Alexia asks if LeFoux is trying to kill her, Angelique says probably not cause you’d already be dead. AND LIKE WE ESTABLISHED THIS EXACT ANSWER TO THIS SAME QUESTION BEFORE. WHY ARE YOU WASTING YOUR QUESTIONS YOU COMPLETE IMBECILE!
It’s revealed that Quensel, the kid LeFoux was taking poor care of before, is Angelique’s son. Angelique was trying to hide the fact she had a son from the vampires cause the vampires won’t turn her if she has any family. Apparently LeFoux, was trying to get Angelique to take care of her son and to stop the vampire biz by threatening to tell the Vampires about her son. That didn’t work apparently. We also confirm that yes, SHOCK OF SHOCK, Angelique and LeFoux used to be an item for many years. So we have this OH SO DELIGHTFUL paragraph:
“Alexia had seen something of the kind in her father’s collection, but she had never imagined it might be based on anything more than masculine wistfulness or performances put on to titillate a John’s palate. That two women might do such things voluntarily with one another and do so with some degree of romantic love. Was that possible?”
(Irritated Stare with the phrase [stares in gay judgement])
You’re 26 years fucking old, you’re well aware that gay men exist, LeFoux has been hitting on her blatantly this entire book and has been pretty much screaming how much of a lesbian she is. Like you can have Alexia in bi-denial, sure, but for her not to even realize two girls can have sex and romance at one another outside of men JACKING IT!? FUCKING WOW! I want to be clear and say that there is a myth that Queen Victoria didn’t think lesbians were real when she was enforcing the no homosexuality laws. TO BE CLEAR THAT IS A MYTH! PEOPLE IN VICTORIAN TIMES KNEW LESBIANS WEREN’T JUST A MALE CREATED HORNY MYTH LIKE HOW WOMEN LOVE THE TASTE OF JIZZ, YOU THICK-HEADED TWIT!
The last questions that Alexia asks basically are, “Is it possible for women to love each other?” and “You’re a cold bitch aren’t you?” QUEEN PICKED TOP INVESTIGATOR HERE! She then FOR REAL kills Angelique. Also I’m glad she didn’t ask Angelique what they were planning on doing with the humanization corpse, because that mystery is probably what the entirety of the 3rd book is about.
So we head back in the castle to try to wrap this all up, and boy is it pointlessly messy. I’m going to recount the items in order, so you TOO can realize what a clusterfuck this is.
Alexia tells LeFoux that Angelique is dead which makes LeFoux cry. Alexia has a normal human response to seeing a woman she likes grieving.
“Lady Maccon envied her skill of crying with aplomb. She herself went all over splotchy, but Madame Lefoux seemed to be able to execute the emotional state with minimal fuss.”
By performing some pretty sweet mental gymnastics to make it about herself. CONGRATULATIONS! She does later say that the scene was painfully sad…but…your first thought, and the one you dedicate more than a sentence to is… “I wish I could cry as hot as she could?” MOTHER OF FUCK LADY!
Maccon takes Alexia aside and explains that LeFoux and he are besties despite not interacting with her at all this entire book. He told his BFF4EVAH to keep an eye on Alexia. Don’t know why he would have lied about this? Maybe Alexia would have felt patronized? Alexia was attacked 5 times last book and needed to be saved 3 of those times. There’s nothing wrong with that ratio, but there’s also nothing wrong with wanting to have back up if you’re in a dangerous profession. Besides that the two both love science and gadgets, and if he couldn’t predict that LeFoux would awaken his wife’s bisexuality too, it seems silly to lie to her about it.
But my pity for Alexia runs dry again when, upon hearing Maccon and LeFoux are buds…she accuses Maccon of sleeping with LeFoux. And it’s like…
(Honestly, you people, and by that I mean straight people…are ridiculous.)
If Alexia is bi, it don’t matter she’s still in denial and acting like a straight up straighty.
You just found out that lesbians are real and that LeFoux is one of them, and YOU were the one to almost cheat on him with her, and you ACCUSE HIM? Are you FOR REAL!? I mean this is just a set up for Alexia to realize SOME MORE that lesbians are real. I’m glad I’m reading one of those books where everything needs to be explained 5 times.
Alexia brings up the fact that Angelique turned into a ghost but exorcised her right away without considering if literally anybody else wanted to talk to her INCLUDING THE LONG-TERM –EX-GIRLFRIEND WHO WAS RAISING HER KID. LeFoux is rightly upset at this and Alexia retorts with
“There’s no need to wallow.”
Now even Lord Maccon steps in like, “THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, SHE’S RIGHTLY UPSET!” To which Aleixa points out OH SO RIGHTLY that LeFoux didn’t want to be girlfriends with Angelique again, so like…it makes no sense why she’d want to have some parting words or care about her living or dying.
THEN THIS TRANSITION SHEESH VERBATIM:
Lord Maccon looked at his wife appreciatively. “Good Lord, woman, how could you have possibly known that?”
“Well” – Lady Maccon grinned – “Madame Lefoux here did play a bit of the coquette with me while we were traveling. I do not think she was entirely shamming.”
I’m sorry what? We already established that LeFoux is a vagatrian and had a relationship with Angelique. Is she saying the fact she was flirted with PROOF that LeFoux is not in a relationship? Alexia, you were flirting back and you’re married. This is not a brilliant deduction. We only have this transition so that Alexia can brag about almost BUT NOT ACTUALLY cheating on her husband. And like…it’s one thing to take the piss out of him because he’s irrationally jealous. However Alexia herself was like REALLY, REALLY irrationally jealous a second ago and it’s not really irrational since Alexia might have had sex with her if she came to the conclusion earlier that girls can like other girls. SoOOoOOoOOoo great!
We continue to have pissing contests. Maccon is mad that Alexia never told him she was almost poisoned, even though you’d THINK Tunstell would have brought that up to him since he’s his servant and he was the one actually poisoned. LeFoux admits she was looking around for Alexia’s bag and that she wanted the humanization weapon too. However she wants it NOT because she’s in the Hypocras club, but in the Organization of the Brass Octopus (OBO.) The Organization of the Brass Octopus is a secret group of Scientists that is working to curb the power of Supernaturals and that the Hypocras Club was a ~militant branch~ of the OBO. Alexia is bothered that Maccon didn’t tell her about OBO, since YANNO Alexia spent half the book thinking that her crush LeFoux wanted to genocide people like her husband. Which yanno REALLY STOPPED HER FROM A LOT THERE! Alexia tries to ask more questions about OBO and Maccon just answers them all with, “But it’s a secret!”
Really love that Maccon gets super mad when Alexia doesn’t talk to him, but when she asks questions he huffs and won’t tell her. You could maybe argue that since it’s a secret society thing that Maccon shouldn’t tell her. He was sworn to secrecy or some shit. But like also…a branch of this club nearly killed them both… and she’s in charge of the entire English government’s Supernatural balance system….Maybe it’s okay for her to know a little about a powerful organization in that country that’s supposed to do the same thing?
WHATEVER!
We end with LeFoux admitting she was LOOKING FOR Alexia’s bag but never went through it or messed up her room to find it. Alexia for once has a normal reaction which boils down to, “FUCK THIS SHIT!” and storms out. CAUSE WHY BRING UP SHE WAS LOOKING FOR IT AT ALL? That is pointlessly confusing.
So below I made a little chart with how easily it could have been to make this conversation flow better. Even if you want to keep in jealousy pissing contest which is also an EVEN WOMEN WOULD SEX ME STUPID HUSBAND!
I’ll admit I don’t know a lot about editing books…but I feel as if either the editors gave this a soft touch. It seems like a simple fix that could have tightened it up and made it an easier read.
Say something nice Faps:
It was technically a climax
They technically tried to wrap things up
It has been acknowledged that yes LESBIANS ARE REAL
I did genuinely like Alexia having a vulnerable moment looking upon her knocked out husband and feeling protective of him.
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