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arkus-rhapsode · 7 months

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I want to talk about Crimson Flower and 3H as a narrative

So... after FE3H discourse makes the round every other week, I end up thinking about it for a bit until I realize, hey maybe its better to not focus on a 4 year old game at this point and occupy your time with something else. Everything has basically been said about it at this point and you know where you land.

But this time my thoughts were just getting too strong for me to ignore, so that's why I'm writing this both get it out of my system and maybe just be another voice in the crowd that some people might want to listen to on the divisive topic that is Crimson Flower route.

Now I really hate that I have to put this disclaimer up front, but I feel like the well of this discussion has become so poisoned that I have to before I make my piece. I want to say that if you enjoy Crimson Flower, if you love Edelgard and believe she did nothing wrong and this is the right route, if you are a Black Eagles stan and you genuinely do not have any issues with Crimson Flower route as a whole-that is perfectly fine.

This will be a somewhat critical examination of the narrative choices about the execution of CF, which I feel like whenever 3H, specifically Edelgard is discussed, there is often very disingenuous arguments people make. Which I believe can create more defensive fans of a particular aspect of a story that we should be able to criticize freely. Which perpetuates this never ending cycle of discourse of legit criticism and defense against that criticism becomes drowned out by trying to decouple these very disingenuous claims from legitimate flaws. So I at least want to make it known that I am going to try my best to be in good faith with this post about this tricky subject.

I also want to just say, this is also going to be mostly an examination of narrative. The thing that I personally enjoy the most in an FE game, but we need to genuinely acknowledge that narrative isn't the only reason why people may like Fire Emblem. The ability to form parasocial relationships with fictional characters and being able to experience something the genuinely brings you emotional fulfillment is not invalid. Being able to enjoy fighting against establishments or ideologies you in the real world disagree with through the experience of a video game is not invalid. The same way someone who plays this game for the experience of gameplay isn't invalid when their primary enjoyment stems from the actual mechanics rather than the "logistics" of the story. The point I'm trying to make is that everyone will engage in media in different ways and will enjoy it other ways and that you don't want to invalidate those feelings someone had with their personal experience. So this is going to be about me and my experience as someone who primarily enjoys narrative.

I am just one guy with opinions who is going to layout what I had an issue with and how I think for me that could've been improved upon. You don't have to agree with me on that, and I'm not saying my way is legitimately better. This is all opinionated.

Buckle this is a long one

First things first Im gonna say Im not going to be using any information given in Three Hopes that may contradict what Im about to say. As in my opinion Three Houses came first and does not include the content from Three Hopes so I should think that Three Houses can stand on its own merits and the content that was provided.

Next thing is I want to catch people up on what in my opinion are the points I think CF did for me that ultimately left me unsatisfied

The post time skip Fodlan was too different and felt contradictory to Byleth's role

Edelgard's Characterization in CF in comparison to the other lord's in their respected routes

The role of Rhea

The role of Those who Slither in the Dark

SO the first thing is probably the thing I'm mostly going to have to defend if I haven't lost you already, but Fire Emblem Three Houses as a narrative provides us with a five year time skip in the game that depending on the route will change who is control of the monastery at this point in the war, with each route providing a lord the chance the forge their campaign. However, something I don't think is brought up enough is talking about the liberties that CF takes with their time skip vs the other three routes. Azure Moon, Verdant Wind, and Silver snow all paint a post five years Fodlan as one where the monastery territory has been abandoned, Rhea has been captured, the Alliance territory is split between an imperialist faction and an anti imperialism faction, and the Kingdom has been split with Cornelia making an alliance with the Empire to create the Dukedom of Faerghus as the houses of Gautier and Faldarius hold up the Kingdom.

There are obviously minor changes like Dimitri camping out in the monastery in Azure Moon rather than in the care of Kingdom Allies, but for the most part there is a consistently defined world between the three routes. However, Crimson Flower's post Fodlan is much different. With a grid locked Fodlan after five years with just the church territory falling under the control of Adrestia, Rhea wasn't captured and instead made it to Faerghus, The Alliance is still feuding amongst itself, but most importantly than all, Faerghus is a complete kingdom with Dimitri as King and no Cornelia's Dukedom.

So there are two main reasons why this bothers me.

The first is that Three Houses as a game wants to present you with three options at first, with the idea that your choices will effect the outcome of the war when Byleth returns, however there's enough consistency to imply that this is what Fodlan would be like regardless of whose House you would join, with the primary effect being your class making it to the church for the festival which in turn will make the monastery your new territory for which route. However, Crimson Flower decides to do away with the consistency, implying that the effect Byleth had on the situation is far greater than that of any other route resulting in a drastically shifted Fodlan. So this is more of a problem with FE3H as a whole with the consistency of choice. Fire Emblem has never really had a BioWare style choose your own adventure type of game. There's only one real choice you're given in the case of 3H and that's which house you side with, which you are essentially locked into. Black Eagles is really the only route that offers a choice beyond that with choosing to side with Edelgard or Rhea which will effect who the class sides with in the time skip. The reason I bring this up is that it essentially means that you the player are for the most part on rails for a predetermined plot where all the choices for the series have already been made. So the Fodlan post five years being consistent makes some sense as essentially mostly everything that happened in White Clouds was the same with the acceptation of the class. However, the Crimson Flower one not being consistent and being so radically different based on a game with so minimal choice feels more like an act of narrative convenience. That this is what happened because of a writer fully independent from me the player had decided that this is how Fodlan shall be for this story because it fits what they want to tell.

Somewhere I had once read that FE3H shouldn't be treated as one story, but since its a bunch of routes they're all a different universe. Everything might look the same but everything is fundamentally altered that you should accept it as an independent universe. And I can't necessarily say that's wrong as the concept of multiverses is to create a world/scenario that allows to explore familiar characters in unfamiliar settings and you could say that Byleth effect on Edelgard in picking this universe was just so much greater that it would result in such a different universe.

I personally disagree with that which brings me to my second point as I believe this one is going to be a more philosophical point on game design. But I feel like the effort to make three routes so consistent with each other with one so different seems to deliberately undercut the core themes of the game. Offering you a choice that this is who you get to spend your happy schools days with and it is what is going to result in them returning to the monastery one the day of your return. That is the true effect of Byleth on the characters. But as you play through white clouds you can't change what happens to other characters which will result in a brand new scenario. Byleth's presence can never stop Dimitri from going blood mad, Byleth's presence can't stop Claude from discovering the Immaculate One research, and Byleths presence can't stop Edelgard from declaring war. And that is a good thing for this type of on rails route story. Byleth while a player insert who can help their lord in the future, right now everyone is on a path that Byleth can only lightly change. With the characters acting independently of what Byleth and the player desire. And the post time skip Fodlan is a sign of that. Its Five Years without Byleth. This is what these characters would do, that they were always capable of doing and that is why Byleth's return and effect on them is important. This also gives us the ability to observe what a lord is like now after the war, and Byleth's effect on them but also see what a character could be like without that Byleth effect on them. Without Byleth Dimitri stays mad, without Byleth Claude always flees Fodlan, without Byeth Edelgard... well lets put a pin in that.

The only other true choice the player can make beyond the initial one is the side with Edelgard or Rhea which radically alters her. Which honestly feels kinda defeating in a game that has locked Byleth so much on a path and the one time it can deviate actively alters everything. It just feels very hollow as there are parts that make you realize how great the effect Byleth could have on people's lives could be if the game actively wanted to integrate choice with the plot. But it didn't. It wants to make one early choice then lock you in that route for several chapters then remove Byleth and then have their return effect real change on the future of Fodlan. Except for this one route. Its why Crimson Flower feels so much like an asterisk compared to the other route. And I don't just mean the lack of chapters, but this feels like a route that can only exist because it was the one that the developers bothered to create something overly deviating from everything else.

Which brings us to Edelgard's role in Crimson Flower as a whole. Now lets just get this out of the way. Im not going to be talking at all on the morality/realistic implications of what Edelgard is doing. I feel like the "Is she a fascist/authoritarian" conversation is not really helpful to talking about FE3H as a work of narrative and mostly exists to create a bunch of petty beef. This is also not going to be a deconstruction of ever minute detail of Edelgard as a character. This is an examination of her as a character in the narrative that we are presented. This will also involve comparison's to Edelgard and other series lords and I want it to be known that this is not a talking down to the only female lord in the game as being something "lesser" than her male contemporaries. I believe there is genuinely sexism when discussing Edelgard as a character, so I want to say that I am approaching Crimson Flower and Three Houses as a whole in a good conscious that there is not a "right route." That this is a game that where all choices have their pros and their cons. Because that's why we like this entry, right? That 3H would provide us some genuinely complex lords who were all capable of doing great and terrible things regardless of gender?

That's why I had such a long winded discussion about why the change in the post time skip Fodlan is so important both for narrative consistency, but also just generally keeping with the tone, but also it reinforced that Fodlan and its lords while all righteous in their own way can be dangers in their own way. Well that's when I return to the pin about Edelgard. So first I want to go through how the lords are characterized in non devoted routes.

Dimitri in non AZ routes is portrayed as someone so damaged by loss that his who response is to avenge and fight. To never stop making those pay for the damage it has brought on his kingdom as well as any lives lost during the tragedies in places like Duscar and Remire.

Claude in non VW routes is portrayed as a brilliant individual with a lot of charm but seems to be hiding something from everyone. He's a lot smarter than one could assume and that he has some mysterious tie to the kingdom of Almyra that he departs after leaving his land to the stronger kingdom that has come so far, be it Dimitri or Edelgard or the Church.

Edelgard in non CF routes is portrayed as a conspirator to overthrow not only the church but all rule in Fodlan as she believes the Crest based system is flawed and that the only way to enact systemic change is through a single rule. And while she is aware her ideals have costs, she believes that those costs are worth it when weighed against perpetuity of the crest system.

Now I want to talk about what happens to those lords as you play them in their routes.

Dimitri in AZ is portrayed as someone burdened by loss and his quest for vengeance has led to a neglect for his own health and his own actions. That his kill everyone attitude will perpetuate more loss of those he loves and that he needs to learn to rely upon others. That is his true responsibility as king.

Claude in VW is portrayed as an individual who is outside of Fodlan's system who has observed it more as a third party and believes it can be a great place if people work through diplomatically. He too is not a fan of inequality and racism and wishes to make a Fodlan that is more accepting and able to work through negotiation. While he still leaves Fodlan at the end, this time he has been able to implement real systemic change and make one that is sustainable beyond that of a ruler.

In CF we find out that Edelgard is a traumatized girl who was experimented on for the purposes of Crest Research. This makes her a conspirator to overthrow not only the church but all rule in Fodlan as she believes the Crest based system is flawed and that the only way to enact systemic change is through a single rule. And while she is aware her ideals have costs, she believes that those costs are worth it when weighed against perpetuity of the crest system.

Hey wait a minute, that's the same?

So this is where I get to the most glaring flaw for me in this case of narrative and why I think altering the post time skip so much did a lot of damage. Edelgard is a good character and a fascinating one, but in the practice of her narrative, her character journey in her own route isn't like the other lords. Rather she is "right" from the start of the time skip and with the world altering in ways to justify why she is that way.

Now look, I know right now someone could be saying I can't read, that its clearly stated in the text that Edelgard says without Byleth she may have turned into a complete monster to see her goals through to the end. This is referring to how in non CF routes she is on the backfoot getting beaten back and forced to take more drastic measures as whoever Byleth comes closer to ending her ideals. Unlike Dimitri or Claude there's not really a psychological arc she is working through with her sociological arc. Dimitri's arc is almost entirely hinged on him as a character changing in his route. And while Claude the character is also mostly the same, you get an understanding of how his continued participation in Fodlan's politics is so important as he effects sociological change. Claude also does the less stuff that could be considered questionable in Fodlan. He neither initiates the war nor does he intimate greater conflict that is tied into a character arc like Dimitri. Claude action's through the war are mostly to keep the Alliance fighting against each other with avoids giving one side a greater advantage. The truth is Claude real "flaw" is that by being an Almyra he is from a race outside of Fodlan that is inherently untrustworthy in society so his continued prescience in his expanded campaign is done with changing that mentality.

Now one could look at everything I said about Claude and say "well isn't that Edelgard though? She's not the one who needs to change but rather society needs to and this is you making it a fruition?" And I would agree however, then why did post time skip need to change and not Edelgard? So going back to the altered Fodlan, the Fodlan post time skip we see in non CF routes has what can be argued Edelgard's biggest moment of political conquest, making an alliance with Cornelia inside of Faerghus using her authority and influence to expand and bring over a chunk of the kingdom underneath Edelgard's wing. And this makes sense with what has been proposed before us-Edelgard had released a manifesto to lords that would side with her and become her allies in the war to come. This act of subversion is something that benefits her goals for conquering all of Fodlan. However, this is one of the key alterations in CF's time skip. Faerghus is not broken in half, with Edelgard having not empowered Cornelia over the five years. In fact, you do battle with Cornelia with her as a kingdom general.

So if Edelgard isn't a character who is subject to change, why did the world change? Well there is speculation in universe that perhaps Rhea fleeing to Faerghus didn't give her the ability. But I do believe the most likely reason is that narratively the writers of 3H wanted to avoid a scenario where while Byleth was gone Edlegard may have empowered and individual like Cornelia. One of the most objectively evil characters in the game. Now I won't go into to detail if I believe Edelgard knew Cornelia was a TWSITD or not, but as it is presented to us, she seems unaware. Instead I'll focus on the primary point is where they don't want to discuss that while in her route Edelgard was capable of doing something that would potentially cast her in such a negative light. After all, the point of her campaign is the while the bloodshed is worth it to make a new Fodlan free of crests, she's willing to show lenency to those who bend the knee. Again, an action not unreasonable for her character. However, I feel like this not happening in CF genuinely robs us from exploring the flaws of Edelgard's path/showing us what Byleth's effect on her truly is.

This is compounded by my issues with how CF is the only route in which you have an active choice beyond class. That by choosing to side with Edelgard when given the option in the tomb would result in this much radical history alteration. But also all of Byleth's effect on her not being as much conqueror over the last 5 years was all done pre time skip. That all that change was done at that moment rather than being something that prompted her to return to Garreg Mach where they'd remeet Byleth and then that would get them to claim it as a base of oppositions in their future war. In CF, Garreg Mach is already claimed rather than the formation of the Dukedom with no real progress. So it makes it seem as though Byleth's real effect on altering this lord's path was always possible in the short time they knew them before disappearing over five years. Of course this is again a bit miffling given that CF is the only route this is a possibility. We can't Change how Dimitri will act in the pre time skip. That he will make choices without Byleth even if they feel urged to remeet at Garreg Mach. But in the case of CF, Edelgard has apparently been changed despite the only real difference in white clouds fighting beside her in the tomb and against the church pre timeskip. But that has sociologically altered so much of Fodlan.

And maybe you genuinely believe that one extra change is enough. Perhaps that one extra choice is enough justification for such a radically new scenario. For me personally, I find that unsatisfying and feels more like the writers traded in a level of consistency for this new scenario that greater justified being on the side of someone who is portrayed as a more active antagonistic force in other routes (Reminder this not me saying the Empire route is an antagonist route. All routes are antagonistic relative to which side you are on).

This is where we get my first what I would've done to make it more narratively satisfying for me. Keep the same post time skip Fodlan as the other routes. Keep Edelgard having brokered a deal with Cornelia to establish the Dukedom and have Byleth find out about it. Be some that either Byleth or another character close to Edelgard questions the extremity of. Then have Cornelia do something evil like she's experimenting on people for TWSITD or maybe she's just abusing the power. Then have Edelgard clean it up. Have Edelgard realize that while she still wants to make her dream of a crestless Fodlan a reality she can't just back lords or nobles that are willing to go along with her for more power. She can still keep the Dukedom territory, but instead she'd be now more understanding what it means for there to be a ruler with a noble soul. So she continues her campaign of conquest but has realized that if she's going to be emperor, she can't just empower people arbitrarily.

In my opinion this not only would tie together some more TWSITD plot while also paralleling it to Edelgard's past and how there was no authority figure to step in and help her all those years ago. But now she is that authority figure. And while it doesn't call her method in question and like Dimitri and Claude she can continue her expanded influence over Fodlan, but now we actively see that Byleth has helped show her that her allies aren't just those pledging loyalty, she actually needs to empower those who are good. She gets to have her fight with Cornelia level and this won't stop her from killing Dimitri in the future.

Like I said, this is what I'd do. And in my opinion it would give Byleth's presence in CF more purpose beyond the bond with Edelgard is nice and fun. But also stay consistent with each route. Showing that there are flaws in Edelgard's sociological plan, but not undercutting what her actual goal is. You can still believe her quest is just and the only right one with her taking an active role in not making the mistakes she perceives Rhea as doing.

And if you are still with me up to my third point, lets talk about Rhea.

So Rhea as a character can best be described as a neutral evil throughout White Clouds. She doesn't really do anything but there is a lot of ominous foreshowing and presentation that Rhea may be up to something or at the very least complicit with many of her policies and tendencies. And when I say "evil" I don't mean she's bad (please don't skewer me Rhea fans). I mean that if the crest system is flawed and the church is emblematic of the systems maintenance of that flawed system. Then Rhea as the face/founder/head of that church bares some responsibility even if all she does is passive.

In all other routes, Rhea is captured by the Empire. Imprisoned in their capital. Anytime she is seen after she is characterized as somewhat docile or defeated, having been imprisoned for so long. VW goes a step farther to reveal what she did as Seiros and all of her actions leading to this point presumably all thanks to be imprisoned and rethinking her life over. CF is the only one Rhea is allowed to be an active player, she is now portrayed a ranting self righteous warrior priest who swears vengeance upon Byleth for being the reincarnation of her mother but not being a proper vessel as she intended and fighting against her. Naturally, if Byleth being the potential for the reincarnation of Sothis siding against her is what her drives her mad, that is believable, however much like the altered Fodlan Rhea in this version is not captured. This is now for Rhea to serve as Edelgard's true climatic opponent. With her symbolically killing the representation of the church and the power of crests being slain by Byleth and Edelgard. Its very poetic. But once again we reach my issue of the time skip altering so much in CF.

As stated before, Rhea was presented as a neutral evil, in doing so she's not really a direct antagonist in any route. Except of course Silver Snow. Where she is deployed as a weapon against Byleth. In this case killing the immaculate one symbolically is cleansing the church of Rhea and allowing it to pass into the hands of the new archbishop. However, Rhea in that fight is under control. Rather than be conscious as an opponent, they make her more of a beast without choice. Thus making this less a flawed character meeting their end and rather a forced confrontation by the evil cult of evil. Now Rhea I think being kept a neutral party was ultimately a good choice. We are given enough about her to understand she has done things questionable and should possibly not hold the authority she has. But she also has not instigated any open any hostility. As such Rhea is more a symbolic player. By making her an active player, CF has to make Rhea more domino and more a threat. She can't portray constant neutrality in a war. But by making her the active antagonist, it makes her less of a symbol and more if just a rotten character who Edelgard is justified in wanting dead. And much like Cornelia and the Dukedom, this alteration comes off as an attempt by the writers to never truly challenge Edelgard's plans for Fodlan. That Edelgard has no flaws in her plan and the bloodshed is beyond justified more than just philosophically. Had Edelgard captured Rhea in CF this would lead to some genuinely uncomfortable questions of keeping her a prisoner. And to 3H's credit they were actually willing to make the player uncomfortable already in Dimitri's route showing him as a mass murderer. Once again, I want to express this isn't me saying Edelgard's quest or goals are wrong and the plot should undermine it. This is me saying that for a game that wants to genuinely have nuanced and uncomfortable political choices made by their character, this is the route where they opt to alter the scenario so that Edelgard is the most justified and does less things that one could find objectionable. Flattening a lot of interesting implications this would raise and what Byleth as a force in this route could possibly able to influence.

Now one could again say, well the reason Rhea wasn't captured because Edelgard didn't use crest beasts this time. Edelgard not using crest beasts is a sign Byleth is changing her and thus that greatly alters the future. Once again, I can see that as understandable justification, but again, my issue off only ever being able to effect this lord pre time skip comes in again. If it was possible to get Edelgard to not use crest beasts, then how come it wasn't possible for me to get Claude to have Almyra support? How come I couldn't stop Dimitri before the war? The answer is again as a game the only other narrative choice that could possibly alter the story happens in CF which is the side with Edelgard in tombs choice. And while I'm not against the idea of angry pope Rhea, but I feel making her CF's full on antagonist was almost making a straw man antagonist for your opposition.

As an aside we also know Arundel is still on Edelgard's side and he is Thales so while she might not know his entire deal, I hesitate to imagine he'd stop using crest beasts in the war over the two years Byleth was gone.

If I was going to once again alter CF to be something I would personally find more satisfying. Have Rhea captured and then have Arundel use the same rage stuff he uses on her Silver Snow. This way you can facilitate an Edelgard vs TWSITD conflict AND you still get your symbolic victory of Edelgard and Byleth killing the symbol of the crests and church. Again, Edelgard is able to do what she wanted to originally, but now we are also confronted with the role TWSITD did play in her life and allowing her to rectify it as well as truly killing the old world by getting rid of Rhea and Thales.

And final point TWSITD. TWSITD are bad. They've always been bad. And they genuinely damage the overall story of CF because this is beyond just a narrative choice, its very clear CF as a story wasn't complete. I feel confident in saying that given the numerous chapters missing compared to the other routes, but also the epilogue needs to say "Oh yeah there was totally a bunch of war against them. Totally." I know this point is probably the least controversial when talking about CF, but I still think its a glaring flaw.

So what's the tl;dr?

This is not an "I hate Crimson Flower or Edelgard post" I genuinely have no interest in debating people about characters that like or enjoy. Nor did I want to turn this into a moral argument about the implication CF. I feel like these topics do real damage to any real criticisms one can have for CF as a narrative.

Which for me, CF as a route fails to really mesh with the rest of 3H as a whole. It feels like it takes a lot of narrative ways out to avoid potentially making their lord seem objectionable, despite much of this game wanting to be about how tragically flawed everyone is. Im not saying Edelgard needed a come to Jesus moment of "Are we the bad guys?" No absolutely not. In my opinion we just lack seeing Edelgard change the same way post time skip as others have due to creating an entirely brand new setting that keeping her as a mostly the same character is not questionable. Nor does she have to do anything that could truly be seen as flawed. Things that Byleth's influence may overcome.

Edelgard is a good character and her goals are understandable. I just personally find the narrative bending to accommodate her in ways so different from the other time skips genuinely make it a weaker narrative for me.

If you enjoy CF as it it. More power to you. Please keep loving CF. This isn't supposed to be a dissuading post. This is merely me as one guy who likes a lot of FE because of the stories it can tell sharing why he personally didn't enjoy this one. Maybe I helped put it words for some who might feel similar. But this is just my opinion

If you have something you'd like to add or reply in the replies or tags please flee free, but for the love god, please be cordial about it. There is so much toxicity and disingenuous takes around Fire Emblem Crimson Flower and Edelgard and Rhea in general, that I would like for us to please be able to talk about this in good faith.

#fire emblem #fire emblem three houses #fe3h #black eagles #edelgard von hresvelg #crimson flower #rhea #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #claude von riegan #rhapsode rambles

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wfagamerants · 7 months

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I’ve always been fascinated by the rival system in Mario Kart and was curious to see how many choices made have an origin we can point to, across all four games to use this system.

In the first two games, I’ll only cover the Top 3 rivals, since those are the ones really meant to compete with the player and they feel the most thought through.

Super Mario Kart is the earliest game in the series, but even for that, it’s choice for the rivals feels remarkably sound for the most part:

Mario’s an easy one. DK Jr. lines up, given Mario’s history with the Kongs by that point and both Peach and Yoshi are closely tied to him. It tracks.

Luigi also works well. Yoshi did basically compete with Luigi for the role of Mario’s main sidekick during the 90s, due to Yoshi’s break-out status and both Mario and Bowser are easy choices.

Peach also is an easy one, with the exact three characters closest to her on the roster, being her rivals.

Yoshi is a bit odder. Koopa as his main rival does track, given Yoshi had a much more Koopa-like design during conceptual stages and Peach is at least a friend of his, but Jr is pretty random.

Bowser has a basically perfectly logical rival selection, all characters he directly antagonizes.

Jr I got honestly nothing for. Bowser does make sense; they share a weight class, but Toad and Koopa have no ties to him. At most they can be described as usually being fellow small guys, but SMK does disguise that, due to Jr being scaled up.

Koopa’s Is weird. Luigi and Yoshi did at least directly fight his species at that point, but the lack of Mario and Bowser, who have more ties to him, is odd.

Toad mostly lines up, with Peach and Mario, but Jr once again, is the odd one out.

Super Circuit by comparison feels a bit more out there with its picks. Maybe because Intelligent Systems worked on it, but it does feel a bit random in areas:

Mario’s lines up fine enough, though Wario in third would have made it a more cohesive rival line-up.

Luigi’s is strange. Wario as his main rival I can really only explain with Wario being sometimes portrayed as picking on him during that time, like the Mario Party 1 and 4 intros. Toad and Yoshi are more easily connected, as fellow friends and sidekicks of Mario.

Peach lines up fine enough with Bowser and Luigi is a fitting candidate too, but DK over Mario or Toad is odd, though you could say he was chosen since Pauline’s original design with blonde hair and a pink dress, is a close match for Peach.

Toad’s is fine, all characters he is befriended with and who aid Mario like him.

Same deal with Yoshi, though Mario not being in his Top 3 is curious.

DK’s selection, apart from fellow heavy weight Bowser, I don’t see much of a connection in.

Wario has his fellow heavies as his main rivals and then Yoshi as an odd one out.

Bowser has fellow heavy DK as a bit of a surprising main rival, but it lines up and Peach and Mario are both obvious choices.

Mario Kart 7 feels a lot more thought out across the board again and even has a interesting Third Rival system, with another character taking over if one of the rivals hasn’t been unlocked yet:

Mario’s selection is business as usual, with Metal Mario now as the other character, due to being presented as a rival in one bio, makes sense.

Luigi’s is also pretty much what you’d expect from him.

Peach meanwhile is weird. Toad is relegated to third rival status, while neither Lakitu nor DK have strong ties to her.

Yoshi makes decent sense. Toad’s a pal, Wiggler a mook that also appears in Yoshi’s Island and DK. is more out there, but a fellow animal character with his own series, sure, it works.

Bowser is relatively business as usual, though Rosalina instead of Peach is interesting. Not out of nowhere though, since he did directly antagonize her in the Galaxy games too.

DK has fellow strong guy with his own series Wario as a rival, which is perfect and Bowser as another tough guy to serve as a rival once more, also tracks. Got nothing for Koopa though, save for a possible callback to SMK, since the starting roster is a nod to it, with DK in Jr’s place.

Toad has Peach and Koopa, someone he has been grouped with as a host and partner in Mario Party before, both track. Rosalina is more out there, but does make sense since Galaxy connects them and Rosalina’s Ice World even has the Red Starshroom. Helps this was before claims Captain is a different character, which were never reflected in the games anyways and are now being backtracked on hard.

Koopa has a fellow mook in Shy Guy and two of his SMK rivals, makes sense.

Daisy has a fairly typical selection with Peach and Luigi. Wario also makes a surprising amount of sense, since both originate from the Super Mario Land games and were created by the same division.

Metal Mario faces off against fellow heavies and Mario, fair enough.

Wario has the Mario Bros and no third rival, since both are default characters. Mario is expected, Luigi remains out there, especially by this point, with them not really interacting anymore, but 64 DS did give them a little more connection to work with.

Rosalina has fellow Galaxy character Honey Queen and Toad, it lines up. So does Peach, they may not have much of a connection now, but were meant to in conceptual stages of Galay, so that tracks.

Shy Guy has Toad, a playable character in his debut game and two fellow mooks, makes sense.

Honey Queen is the most out there, with no specific connection to any of her rivals, besides sharing a weight class with Metal Mario.

Wiggler does get connected to Shy Guy and Yoshi via Yoshi’s Island and is usually a species working for Bowser. Nothing out there here.

Lakitu like with Honey Queen, I struggle to find any connections with. Mario is the closest it gets, being the main character and this most frequent force against his species.

The Miis seem to follow a pattern, especially with the main and female characters in the third rival slots. Yoshi instead of Daisy or Honey Queen as a Female Mii rival throws it off a bit though.

Mario Kart 8 Deluxe completes that pattern, with a selection that feels thought out almost entirely across the board:

Mario is the same usuals.

Luigi is also exactly what you’d expect.

Peach has Toad who is expected and DK once more, just seems like a MK tradition by now.

Daisy has Peach, an expected choice and Waluigi, who she does have a long spin-off history with. I doubt Nintendo internally groups characters like that, but they did join the spin-offs at the same time, most notably Mario Party 3, as the only two newcomers of the title.

Yoshi has Toad and DK, I am assuming the same connections again.

Toad has Koopa we already covered and oddly, Waluigi. My guess is he was just chosen as a bit of a bully character, like Wario for Luigi, but the two do have some history via the Rain Shower animation in Game & Watch Gallery 4 and DDR Mario Mix.

Koopa has Yoshi and Toad, once more, assuming the same possible connections.

Shy Guy, the main mook of the Yoshi’s Island games, has Yoshi. It more than tracks.

Baby Mario, Luigi, Peach and Daisy have all the babies you’d most expect for them and BM also has Bowser Jr, as a good Baby Bowser stand-in.

Wario has Mario, his main rival and fellow Super Mario Land series veteran Daisy. Perfect.

Waluigi has Luigi and oddly, Toadette. Probably just due to them being partners to another character.

DK has fellow strong heavies Bowser and Wario.

Bowser has the Mario Bros, once more an obvious choice.

The Koopalings mostly have each other as rivals, except for Wendy, who has Peach and Daisy, which I do like. Subtly characterizing her as that spoiled brat who antagonizes other girls.

The Inklings have each other and the Villagers and Isabelle have each other too. Link as a solo rep without anyone else from his series meanwhile, lacks a rival.

Rosalina now has Toad as her sole rival and I stick with the Galaxy connection.

Tanooki Mario and Cat Peach have each other. Fair enough.

Birdo has Yoshi, her main spin-off partner, makes plenty of sense.

Lakitu lacks a rival. He’s just chill.

My best guess for Toadette having Yoshi as a rival would be them being grouped together in the Double Dash ending pic. Wario meanwhile may be a direct callback to their Mario Party team names, implying them to be friends.

King Boo and Petey have each other, being old Double Dash partners and retaining good chemistry in the Baseball games.

Baby Rosalina has Toadette. I got nothing for that one.

Metal Mario and Pink Gold Peach have each other. That works.

Wiggler sticks to the Yoshi’s Island connection, with Yoshi and Shy Guy.

Dry Bones has both his living counterpart and Dry Bowser, while Dry Bowser has Dry Bones. Simple and logical.

Bowser Jr has his mama, except not really, Peach as a rival.

Kamek deals with Jr as a rival, which just keeps fitting more and more, especially after Jr’s Journey.

Peachette, being Toadette in a different form, has the same rivals, Yoshi and Wario.

Diddy, Funky and Pauline all have DK as their sole rival and it makes sense in all three cases.

The Miis meanwhile have no rival this time.

It's hard to say how intentional some of these are, but there is a lot of neat stuff in there, that makes the choices made feel deliberate and it adds just a tiny bit of extra flavor.

#Mario Kart

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frost-felon · 6 months

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221 was mostly fine, and 222 was a valley of highs and lows for me. 222 is perhaps one of the chapters that suffers the most from Gege's hardcuts. I would go from, "Are we actually gonna get a better understanding of Kenny's relationship to Tengen?" to 'I love Ino, I hope he has at least a single line of dialogue.' to "'Regulations'. Are these 'higher-ups' or this 'Jujutsu Headquarters' in the room with us right now?" to bemoaning the timeskip, etc, etc.

I'm glad we got some character moments, but knowing that moments like these can't properly stand on their own weight stings. That is, the depth of each character is often held back. I noticed it particularly hard with Maki, whose actions are hard to discern (in comparison to, say, how she acted at her introduction, months prior in the story's timeframe) based on what we're given. The panel I'm discussing, for reference:

As told to some of my friends: "Is she making a light-hearted comment because she's grown fonder of Gojo? Because she's uneasy? Because she wants to lighten the mood? Is she conscious that she's still giving Gojo more credit than she did months ago?

"It's a change from how Maki acted earlier in the story, sure, but not one I can point to with analysis to her character or how her relationship to Gojo has (or hasn't) changed. It's just there."

I am factoring in how Perfect Preparation changed her, her discussions with Noritoshi, and the sumo self-discovery (which was less about Maki, in my opinion, and more about Toji haunting the narrative), but I can't really land on an interpretation for this moment, with evidence provided by earlier chapters. With the ~month-long timeskip, it is impossible for me to know if any of the character interactions I can presume happened with Maki and Gojo led to this. Simply because I can't know what those interactions were, or even how many they had.

So this ends up just being nothing. The bare minimum, and maximum, it does is tell me that Maki has returned to a state of mind where she can 'threaten' some good old-fashioned roughhousing, maybe. There are some bits just a little later that could potentially give me more to go on, but she's largely played as having the same role as at least two other people in the following scenes. There are differences in expression for the "Go get 'em, tiger." scene with Gojo, but Maki doesn't affect anything through her action or inaction, and ends up replaceable, as a result. Though not nearly to the extent of Miwa, who might as well be named "Missing", for all her lack of relevance to...anything.

This is fairly light analysis, damn near a vent post with extra steps, but I do think the short supply of character-building moments throughout the manga cheapens both its characters and its pacing. Culling Games, while having FAR more pressing issues than needing more time to flesh out characters, did suffer from the time-jumps that the first half of the manga was prone to, and I hate to see this story convention return so abruptly and damningly.

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fecto-forgo · 3 months

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Character ask game:

Suzy 1, 2, 20, 25

Forgo 4, 9, 23, 25

Elfilin 1, 3, 14

Zan 1, 2, 14, 19, 20, 23

this feels like i finally got fed after three weeks oh my god the excitement is getting physical my throat hurts from breathing too fast AKHSKAHSKAJAK

susie!

1.why do you like or dislike this character?

i rlyyy like how susie is ultimately awful bc its for her benefit thats still fueled by a sympathetic reason i think that makes her extremely interesting.also shes so funny i love characters who r painfully teenage girlie feminine

2.favorite canon thing about this character?

"yippee!" said the susie after her seemingly successful revenge plan.extremely funny of her.

20.which other character is the ideal best friend for this character?

obligatory mention wave 3 in general all would get along w only mildly wanting to kill each other out of sheer annoyance.also i think you can pair susie w any of the other female characters n theyd get along great after a month of her having an obligatory one sided girl rivalry w them.ive said this before but i think you can put her in any 00s girl cartoon abt an overly feminine friend group n shed thrive in the new environment

25.what was your first impression of this character? how about now?

i was soooo hyped to play robobot bc she was cute n sounded extremely funny n ppl were mad she was too bad for reasons that sounded like double standards bs which is essentially like an arrow pointing me towards the character getting that kinda treatment 🩷

fecto forgo!

4.if you could put this character in any other media, what would you put in them?

i think we should throw it in invader zim i think itd have fun there.i already associate a lot of scenes between zim n gir w forgo n elfilin lmao

9.could you be roommates with this character?

yah i think we would get along well 🩷

23.favorite picture of this character?

COMPUTER PULL UP MY 100 NOTES FORGO POST

very nice. (credit)

25.what was your first impression of this character? how about now?

it was literally love at first sight my bestie wanted me to check the final boss song for katfl to tell her the vibes but the only upload was that video that only has like.inner code names for the songs so i missed elfilis n clicked chimera instead n was like oh holy shit this is MAD good!!! then she finally got to the end of the game n omg silly little revenge fetus 🩷🩷🩷 so silly 🩷🩷🩷 i love you 🩷🩷🩷

elfilin!

1.why do you like or dislike this character?

i think elfilin is cute n looks like a 00s deviantart oc n is extremely funny to bully.i wish i had smth big to say on him but hes just entertaining.lil guy.i wanna waterboard him for shit n giggles

3.least favorite canon thing about this character?

as i saiddd theres.not a lot to say on him?? thats the answer for the question btw theres just.not a lot to him other than some of his dialogue shows he has never been outside before.i feel? i dont own katfl but from reading summaries n the script it feels bc they RLY wanted the forgo elfilis lab split twist to be this huge secret thing elfilin ended up paying in just being a silly goodie two shoes amnesiac half.hes fine i like him! just.not a lot to the little man in comparison to modern kirb characters n even his twin.

14.assign a fashion aesthetic to this character

SOMEONE THROW HIM IN OLD 00S SCENE WEEB KID DEVIANTART HE NEEDS IT.HE NEEDS THE CARAMELLDANSEN HE NEEDS TO WATCH LUCKY STAR HE NEEDS TO TRACE BASES ON MS PAINT N MAKE KANDI BRACELETS

zan partizanne!

1.why do you like or dislike this character?

i think its v clear by now if a girl is mean n funny abt it i will immediately start stanning.check that.she has a little plot of being very attached to a figure who can be interpreted as a parental figure despite said figures mistreatment.check that.shes cute.check that.she laughs abt trying to kill someone.check that.her mental illness is severe.check that.shes yellow best color after pink.check that.she has the social skills of moldy cardboard in the "just seems angry n mean??" flavor.check that.well damn seems like she meets all my standards!

2.favorite canon thing about this character?

omggg what do i even chooseeeee her mean nicknames r so funny i love how they contrast she calls her sisters "darling franny and berge" but i also love how silly her attack names r.you got the coolest reference to a god n then "spell it w Z so it sounds cooler" "named after candy/rock music" but i alsooo love the severe tragedy of her relationship w hyness n her 50 mental disorders.the clinging to someone who cast her aside like a broken weapon.the clinging to an ideology that ends w a guaranteed paradise after being an inevitable willing death that was given to her by the one who saved her from her own attempt at ending her life.

but i also love shes such a little cutie pie <333 girlie pop laughs when trying to kill you n wanted to see a shooting star sooo badly (we ignore she harassed a child over this) (her awful behavior is an ideal coping mechanism to her inner turmoil! if we try giving her anything else shes gonna get mad or stare at the wall blankly for 20 minutes)

14.assign a fashion aesthetic to this character

i wish i could but frankly im not sure her closet is anything but 50 copies of her cult outfit like a cartoon characters.i think if you placed her in a fashion store she wouldnt know what to do too much choice n she doesnt want to wear anything else shes gonna get overwhelmed.its a miracle she owns a different hat by the time of that anniversary illustration.rip girl go get some boots w spikes or smth maybe youll feel better

19.how about a relationship they have in canon that you don't like?

BEATING HYNESS W 500 HAMMERS FOREVER N EVER GOD FUCKING DAMN IT GRANDPA!!! THIS RELATIONSHIP IS FUCKED!!! GET MY GIRL OUT OF HERE (dont i dont think shes functional outside of that cult before the end of the game i think shed die) (i have overthought hcs on the the mages feelings on the cult n theyre all fucked) SHES EMOTIONALLY LATCHED ON SOMEONE WHO HASNT LOVED HER IN YEARS.ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS NOT CHOOSE REVENGE ON A BUNCH OF PPL WHO PROBABLY ALREADY DIED OVER YOUR KIDS GRANDPA!!! dont get me started on how she acts abt excusing him in that one chapter of the second novel god FUCKING damn it i hate hyness hes so lucky shed be soooo happy to have him back to normal n alive that i let him live.also bc i dont think he earned death i am going to shove the consequences of his actions down his throat till he chokes.also fucked up to put a suicidal child in your death cult listen grandpa i know you genuinely loved her back then n believed this was good for her but still jesus dude.jesus.

20.which other character is the ideal best friend for this character?

i think flamberge n francisca r an instant obvious answer like i dont even have to explain it i think before hyness' corruption the trio was glued to each other most of the time

for some other answers i think shed get along well enough w taranza they probably go to the same therapist for like half the same issues.also for some reason this made me think of what a funny bad mess itd be to put taranza during/right after triple deluxe n zan during/right after star allies in the same room.christ theyd enable each others apologism for their shitty beloved leaders n enable each others self victim blaming so bad.

i am no longer legally allowed to mention susie n zan together but god knows i love yuri.

23.favorite picture of this character

TAKE ALL OF THE ONES I COULD IMMEDIATELY FIND ALL HER OFFICIAL ART IS SO GOOD I LOVE YOU BABY GIRL.MY.MY LITTLE MEOW MEOW.MY BELOVED CULT SKRUNKLY MY FAVORITE ABUSE APOLOGIST

#ask #typing this gave me soooo much autistic joy i owe you my life...

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goombasa · 3 months

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Banjo-Tooie and The Problem with "Bigger = Better"

I love Banjo-Kazooie.

At least, I love the first one. I wouldn't just call it one of my favorite Nintendo 64 games of all time, I would call it one of my favorite games of all time, full stop. To me, Banjo-Kazooie took the layout of the 3D collect-a-thon platformer that Super Mario 64 pioneered, and perfected it. It is not a perfect game (there is no such thing) but any negatives that I see in the game are so minor when compared to the litany of positives that they barely register to me, and it is one of those games that I know front to back and up to down.

And when Banjo-Tooie was announced, I couldn't wait to get my hands on it.

And then I played it. And I really, really liked it.

But I didn't love it.

Don't get me wrong, I did think that Banjo-Tooie was a good game, and to this day, I maintain that opinion. It's a good collect-a-thon, but even when it was brand new, something felt off about it compared to the original. It wasn't the tone, though the game's somewhat darker storyline and character interpretation compared to the whimsical, fairy-tale like excuse plot of the first game was a bit of a change-up. No, it was more in the gameplay. And a few years afterwards, I realized what it was, at least for me.

The game was just too damn big.

Look, Banjo Tooie was released pretty late into the N64's life span and it really pushed the system to its limits. I'm not going to pretend that it is not super impressive what they managed to shove onto a tiny, tiny cartridge. But you can tell they were running up against issues just by the fact that the game does not run great on original hardware, even when there's not a huge amount of stuff happening. But it still runs well enough to be played, and of course if you're playing the Xbox remaster, it runs perfectly fine, and that's how I'd recommend it be played. But when you get down to it, in terms of its design, the game is just way too big for its own good.

Banjo-Kazooie, even when its words were on the larger side, were not terribly big by comparison. They were very carefully broken down into manageable chunks that made navigating them really easy. You always knew where you were in relation to everything else in the world. Even more wide open worlds like, say Mad Monster Mansion, each area of the mansion and the grounds stands on its own so well that navigating around and getting from place to place is really easy to do.

Banjo-Kazooie doesn't really have that. Don't get me wrong, its maps are peppered with recognizable landmarks and most of them are also broken up into chunks. I think Witchy World gets the closest out of all of its worlds to the design of the first game, as its basically designed as a compass with a distinct area of the theme park at each of the cardinal directions, and the big top in the center. Of course, each of these cardinal areas have several sub areas inside of them, but the point is, its design is very easy to follow and navigate. But it's one of the few worlds that are designed like this. Most of the worlds in Tooie are made up of massive areas that don't really flow into one another. There's not as distinct a break between one area as there is another. There are landmarks everywhere, and yet they don't help you navigate nearly as well as you would think.

This is made worse by the fact that, especially in later worlds, navigating is just… just such a chore. There's a reason they had to add warp pads in the second game so that you can more easily navigate from one part of the world to the other, but that doesn't help at all when the game deliberately limits your movement options, which feels pretty horrible, especially your first time through. The absolute nadir of this particular problem is definitely Grunty Industries, which makes getting around its multi-floor factory an absolute nightmare, and considering how many of the puzzles require you to jump from floor to floor, sometimes in multiple forms (with each form needing to utilize a different means of getting around the different floors, and having to UNLOCK those means beforehand), you spend a LOT of time wandering around not doing anything because you can't figure out where anything is.

Even the hub world is more tedious to traverse. The first game had the cramped tunnels and chambers of Gruntilda's lair as its main hub, and it was mostly a linear ride from one area to the next, with some offshoots for extra stuff or to solve puzzles to go deeper into the lair or find secrets here and there, but it was purposefully built to lead the player around in a quick and easy manner. In Tooie, since you're wandering around an entire island, every new section of the island is like a miniature level to explore, chock full of things to look over and figure out, and it can get overwhelming. And again, warp points were introduced to make traveling the thing more palatable.

It's not just the level design that feels too big or bloated. The game kind of assumes you've already played the previous game, and as such, it feels like it's designed to pick up right after that. You already have your full moveset from the last game. Now, the last game stopped teaching you new moves a little ways past the halfway point. But the sequel has you learn at least one new move in every single level, or at least upgrading some sort of aspect about your characters, such as giving you a ton of new egg types to use like fire, ice, and grenades.

But most of the new moves that you get kind of feel… unnecessary? There are some good ones in there. The ability to split Banjo and Kazooie up and use them both independently of one another, but most of the new moves are either highly situational, like Kazooie's hatch ability or the beak bayonette attack, straight upgrades to pre-existing abilities, like the drill pound or the first-person egg aiming, and then first person aiming in the air or underwater, all of which are considered separate moves by the by, or so incredibly situational that it feels like they were added in at the last minute and they couldn't figure out a lot of interesting ways to use them, like most of Banjo's backpack abilities.

Not saying that some of the moves in the original weren't situational as well, but it felt like they were used a lot more often than some of the moves in Tooie, and since you stop getting new moves after like world six or so, you have time to get a bit more use out of each move you've learned, rather than only using a move for one or two specific uses during the last couple of worlds… or in the case of the beak bayonette, using it for one challenge. In the second world. Right next to the room you learn it in, and then never again.

I don't want to sound like this ruined the game for me though. The wide, large, sprawling maps do lend themselves to a lot of interesting puzzles, many of them spanning multiple worlds, and all those worlds are often, in some way, interconnected with one another. I like these ideas on paper, but in practice it leads to a lot more busy-work, a lot more backtracking, and a lot of dead air between all the different challenges. There was a single instance in Banjo Kazooie where backtracking for a challenge was mandatory, but in Tooie, every world except for the final one requires you to backtrack to complete at least one challenge. On the plus side, since the backtracking is designed into the framework of the game, it doesn't feel as out of place as it did in the first game.

This does lead into a very interesting feeling. When you do finally complete one of these very long-running challenges, there's no doubt that it does feel good, like you've triumphed over a major obstacle, but at times in between, it really feels like you're spinning your wheels. I really just feel like this game might have been a bit better if they had just taken what already existed and just refined it, and then walked back some of the ‘more’ that they were putting into the game. There are plenty of ways they could have substituted the duo's existing moveset for things that you learn in the second game, and the fact that it insists on you learning the duo's basic attack moves when they're separated as their own individual moves (even forcing you to not be able to learn them unless you're playing as only the necessary character when you find the molehill) does bother me. It really feels like padding meant to make it feel like you're finding new moves with every place.

Again, I find the game fun to play, but it's a game that feels so, so draining to play for long periods of time, because it takes so long to feel like you're accomplishing anything. I just can't marathon this game like I can with the first. The positive feedback and the progress in the original Banjo Kazooie feels constant, it's invigorating. With Tooie, that feeling takes longer, the time between triumphs is much, much slower, and I've had whole sessions with the game where I didn't do much of anything because I was just wandering around, trying to figure things out, and yet I never managed to get to the point where I'm moving towards the goals that I've set for myself.

This is a bit of a running theme with other collect-a-thons, even with Rare. The amount of collectibles or the distance between them is just superfluously large. The gameplay is solid, it's sound, but the game just had to get bigger. And if all of these massive, open worlds in games these days are any indication, bigger isn't always better, especially when it hinders an otherwise very well designed game.

#Banjo Kazooie #Banjo Tooie #Open World #Too Big for its own good #Game Design #Game Feel #Collectathon #I just want a new banjo kazooie game #Like I really want it #But I don't want to see what it'd look like as a modern game #Especially since Rare is well past their glory days

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ennaku-sirri-da · 3 months

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My Best Friend is dead. Her name ...was MARTHA. She resides in the bathroom now, but I'm still trying to make her smile. [ Part 1 ](REPOSTED)

[Plaintext: My Best Friend is dead. Her name ...was MARTHA. She resides in the bathroom now, but I'm still trying to make her smile. [ Part 1 ](Reposted))

HhhhhHhhh

The NoSleep story title aside, here's the...story! I can't really think of a proper way to introduce this but it will probably be broken into parts.

---

Let's start from a bit of the beginning, shall we? The beginning...of her ending.

( Man it's a bit weird narrating all this when it was all just built up in chats. But it's a little exhilarating too. Like I'm actually telling you a story. How strange. )

Martha. Best of her peers, best of her age, shining star of her school-- All Saints High. Music? Voice of an angel and incredible range to boot. Learns from regular piano lessons without fail. Studies, sports? If you want to get on her level you'll have to grind HARD, and then have to answer her attempts to take the crowning seat back, as well. She can hurl a volleyball just as well as she can jot down Science notes. (Their theology classes fill her with just enough doubts to seek out more on her own ). She's no nobody. Everyone knows her name. She knows them, too. Well enough not to take anything lying down( LEAST of all taunts about her pronouncedly fluttery accent and her own accompanying G-rated cursing ). She won't just survive-- she will surpass. And she's built up the assets needed with everything shes got. Money, skill, sweet words, blackmail, friendships, favours, petty revenge, precious time, sweat, perfection. ALL of it.

Home is a hole.

It is void. A fine place to read thrashy romance novels, if only to forget about the endlessly yawning cavern depths. Others exist, somewhere there. She exists alongside them but they do not acknowledge her. It is alright as long as she never causes a scene, breaks the silence. It is even more alright when she keeps aiming past what is to her the sky, sun and space and beyond and catches their attention. Sometimes, achieving this even means a warm smile or two of them, from the two of them, thrown her way.

She catches it, picks it up, learns to plaster it across on her face. Red lips frame white teeth that twinkle like stars.

Pity they fell out then.

No one could believe it. No one wanted to believe it. In fact, common, widespread verity was so grim in prospect, so sticky a situation that it would attract investigators like flies to the rotting corpse, so un-profitable in comparison to the sum offered to keep lips sealed and stories spun-- that in the end, all that blew up the town to fearfully great heights was that there was a killer on the lose.

The newspapers turn obsolete.

Law efforts turn obsolete.

Gossip becomes old news.

Students turn obsolete as they graduate into college-age adults.

The holy water sprinkled on her casket goes stale.

Her friends do not visit anymore, because life has taken them away.

The school still stands, without Martha. She is there, of course. What could it ever be without her? She keeps asking herself,

staring into the dirty thing bobbing in dark water

cannot leave this bathroom stall

should not

for her murderer is outside, walking free, living, teaching freely

They say if you stay in the stalls all by yourself or look at the stretching mirrors too long, she will appear to drag you into the stories herself. They say if you are unluckier still, it will show itself, rising, rising, rising from and out of the times past, to the top of the water...

[ ID: PNG of an item from Smile For Me the game, a pair of plasticky looking red jaws with yellow teeth, called the 'Toilet Teeth'. End ID]

------

Habit is pretty new around here, but if he can't find a single friend then God help him he is going to make the ghost in the bathroom who may-or-may not-exist-but-hopefully-its-a-may-- his friend. Now if only he had any idea where to start?!?!

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youtube

#martha #IM FINALLY FINISHING THESE PARTS SO I REPOSTED THEM #martha S4M #Dr habit #S4m #Smile for me game #Fanfic #Drabble #S4M OC #Au #S4M AU #My headcanons #Death tw #Murder tw #Child abuse tw #neglect tw #Youtube #Roseverse

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malviral · 5 months

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Canon divergence, the long post.

Alrighty ! Here is the OFFICAL Wesker info post. This will probably be long so you’re warned. Much of this will be going on Wesker’s bio page when I’m ready to put that up. So ultimately, having gone back through all the games relevant to Wesker I’ve got a clearer idea of stuff now hence this post. I’ve decided I’m MOSTLY following canon with the most major alteration being Wesker’s death in Re5.

I kinda debated if I wanted to use anything from Re5 at all but yeah, ultimately I’ve decided I’m going to because having done some deep thinking about it I do think everything was fine. I’m covering the whole backstory / basically everything else of note I can think of. I wasn’t able to completely finish/cover everything due to computer lag from length lol, so I might make a part 2 if I don’t just put everything on his BIO page before then.

As far as my headcanon goes Wesker was raised by an Upper-middle class mother and father by the names of Nathan and Diana Wesker. These are the people Wesker recognises as his parents, though obviously he now believes they were not his biological parents and were instead simply contracted by Spencer and part of the Wesker child experiment. None the less Nathan and Diana were thought of as respectful members of their community with Nathan working as an oral surgeon with his own clinic where Diana also worked, thought to be a family business.

Again Wesker suspects this was all smoke and mirrors and that whoever they really were, they were working for Umbrella/Spencer. When Wesker was about 13 he had already excelled through all traditional education and had frequented two high class boarding schools. He spent the next four years studying for a decorate. He earned this when he was 16 and was personally invited to participate in Umbrella’s executive training programme, which would have entailed spending another year or two at umbrella’s private training facility which was not a hard transition for Wesker since this was literally a specialised boarding school.

This meant, honestly, in comparison to other children Wesker really didn’t spend a lot of time with his “parents”. By the time he was school aged he spent most of his time away from them, only seeing them for a few months here and there. He kept contact with them largely by letters that he would write them every few days and they would write him back. When Wesker was about 14 he received news that the two of them had perished in a car accident.

He found himself mostly untroubled by this aside from the initial surprise. Again at this time Wesker was studying for his doctorate so the parents he already had a somewhat distant relationship with were the least of his concern. He doesn’t remember crying, or really being overly upset. He didn’t like the news but what could he do ? He didn’t attend their “funeral” and was in fact encouraged not to and to continue studying which seemed to work for him as he felt his “parents” would also want that.

He couldn’t say if he was actually saddened and the work helped distract him or if he just never really cared that much. He doesn’t know. However, he was probably more upset about this than he realised as he does feel a sense of intense anger/betrayal toward “them” upon finding out he was part of Project W. Its not something he entirely recognises of himself outward, probably because he would rather keep up the illusion that he’s fine with it.

He doesn’t really have any negative memories of them. He didn’t have a bad childhood and considers it to have been good and normal beside the higher than average school load he had, but this was something he liked as someone with such a high intellect so he didn’t take any issue with it. Aside from the obvious emotional distance he felt between himself and them he was provided for and well looked after.

At the Umbrella training school Wesker met William Birkin who instantly captured his interest and attention. Initially of course it was William’s smarts that put him on Wesker’s radar. William was only 15 years old when he was enrolled in the training school and Wesker was just about 17. William being the youngest attendee made him a bit of a standout and at this time William was the record holder for the youngest person to have earned a doctorate and the youngest person head hunted by Umbrella. Wesker recalls that this made William the subject of much envy and competition.

He took notice of how William tended to be somewhat ostracized and of William’s somewhat unremarkable background. Contrary to many of Umbrella’s chosen candidates he wasn’t some aristocrat or someone from a particularly wealthy or high social standing. What got William where he was was entirely that big old brain of his. What's more was William's somewhat disconnected and “humble” demeanour. He was plucky and confident when need be, but with no real conceit or arrogance where it wasn’t due, that gave him a pretty obvious contrast against other Umbrella trainee candidates. William stood out among his well-to-do peers who had majorly lived very privileged lives and tended to think all too highly of themselves.

Wesker also took notice of how largely unbothered William seemed in a way that almost felt naïve. William was pretty damn happy to just keep his head down, keep quiet and study and thats how William thrived. All of this was so extremely fascinating and admirable to Wesker who pretty much fell in love for lack of a better way to explain. They were quickly placed as the two top students and taken under the wing of Doctor Marcus. However, Wesker soon decided William was not the guy to “beat” but rather the one to “keep”.

The nasty, heated rivalry the company higherups encouraged between the top students quickly became something Wesker recognised and felt was unbeneficial to him. While Wesker may have been arguably “better bred” and infinitely “more mature”, he wasn’t so arrogant to think he could beat William when it come to academics and sheer brilliance so instead he quickly became Williams friend and loyal ally. Something very easy considering how alone and again how somewhat naïve William seemed without him. This was Wesker deviating from the norm and from what was heavily encouraged of the students at the Umbrella training facility. Going to paste a snippet from the last info drop I made:

Wesker was never suppose to become friends with William the way he did. The two became pretty “close” and generally teamed up together despite the fact that the opposite was intended. This just became a fact of the training facility and later the Arkley research facility and at some point the Umbrella higher-ups had to accept that Wesker had an attachment to William that wasn’t easily broken. We do know its canon that there was efforts made by Umbrella higher ups to taint their friendship / turn them against each other but that didn’t work and apparently just had the opposite effect.

Thinking about it I think the views Umbrella had instilled in Wesker were kinda a factor in why Wesker entertained a friendship with William. Wesker’s initial approach to William was both a matter of respect for his intelligence and indeed seeing that as something he could use for himself. Which is precisely why William’s “academic” superiority over Wesker wasn’t something Wesker thought of with distain. He had no jealousy or contempt for William and no drive to beat or destroy him. Instead he was happy to befriend William and foster an attachment between the two of them because this was something that benefited Wesker greatly. more than trying to rival him would/ It was easy due to William’s isolation and the fact that, also drawing from my own headcanons about William, William wasn't built like Wesker. He was a mega genius but he wasn’t as heavily conditioned by Umbrella as Wesker had been and again he didn’t come from wealth.

Though Wesker didn’t know it Umbrella had been influencing and conditioning him since he was a child. The boarding schools Wesker attended were Umbrella run and promoted Umbrella’s ethical ideals. William on the other hand was chosen to participate in Umbrella training facility not because of some grand plan to produce Spencer’s perfect “successor”, or rather, the first in a line of “superior” humans who would accompany Spencer into a “new world”, but because William was just genuinely very smart and of course Umbrella execs saw potential. His intelligence was something the company knew it could make use of, even if they had no intention of him being anything more than an overworked scientist.

So from early on, in a way kind of subconscious to Wesker, he had been trained to spot things/people he could use to further himself. So though Wesker came from a similar place of privilege as many of his other fellow students, Wesker was not so self-absorbed that he couldn’t accept his better and instead find a way to make that work to his advantage. Becoming a highly trusted friend and confident of William achieved this. and while this is largely my own speculation I think it works well because it intentionally mirrors the early relationship between Dr. James Marcus and Ozwell Spencer.

That being said I do believe a very genuine sense of love and companionship existed between Wesker and William. They were actually friends. Wesker did frequently have William’s best interests in mind and though these interests usually wound up benefitting him, William was someone he related to, enjoyed the company of and could easily share thoughts, feelings and ideas with. This along with the fact they tended to team together against everyone else gave them a very emotionally intimate and sometimes dependent relationship. Essentially the feels / friendship was genuine, not to get Wesker’s very manipulative and cunning tactics wrong or to assume he never actually had any genuine affection for William.

Moreover, another snippet from the last post:

I kinda believe the friendship between William and Wesker is what got them both through the training facility. I think had a rivalry actually ensued between them one of them might not have made it through. Why ? Because William had the raw genius but Wesker was Spencer's cunning little pet project. Teaming up with William ensured Wesker would get results worthy of approval while Wesker’s existence as an experiment that was essentially going as planned and who was getting all the marks needed to progress meant William was assured a leg up while they were functioning well together as partners. It was a very mutually beneficial thing they had going on, although obviously the true depth and scope of this was not something either of them knew. There is a canon suggestion that Wesker and William stole a sample of Dr. Marcus’ T - Virus in order to ensure their graduation from the training facility and what ultimately granted them their senior status at the Arkley Research facility that they were then swiftly moved to at the age of 16 and 18 respectively. This explains their early graduation and the top positions they were thrown into. They had made a deal with Spencer's executives to steal a sample of Marcus work and hand it over to Spencer. It make sense that the two of them would do this, given the extremely cut-throat / competitive atmosphere of Umbrella, even present within their training school. Another factor of this is the canon fact that Dr. Marcus was experimenting on the students of the training facility, tricking them into infecting themselves with the T Virus and also capturing and imprisoning them in secret rooms where they were being tortured extensively and killed again as part of Marcus’ private experiments with T.

So essentially it was in Wesker and William’s best interest to escape asap. I think the two of them figured this out and decided they couldn’t take any chances with Dr. Marcus and quickly formulated what they could do to gtfo for their lives. I believe Wesker was the one who was contacted initially to steal work and he basically involved William in the scheme because of their friendship and William’s worth to him in the long run. Plus everything went easier with two people working against Marcus, one to do the distracting and the other to snatch a sample. If anyone ever wondered why Wesker and William were so personally invested in Dr. Marcus’ downfall and assassination this is why. This is pretty much canon via files found throughout Resident Evil 0.

Wesker worked at the Arkley facility with William for a number of years after this. Things were however turned upside down when Alexia was named a chief researcher for Umbrella at age 10.

This was when things started to slide down hill as Alexia’s existence turned the rest of the staff against William and to an extent Wesker, who they felt they no longer had to see as their superiors in a nut shell. Wesker was able to largely shrug this off but it destroyed William and threw him into depression and paranoia. Wesker made efforts to keep William afloat but they were now struggling and their research was becoming stale as William was no longer functioning the way he used to. Wesker had to recognise things were bad and he wasn’t sure if he could “fix” William despite his efforts and aspirations to do so.

As a result he began to put his efforts and focus else where, believing that the Alexia bullshit would eventually cool off and things would switch back to normal. Wesker was carrying the research at this point and desperately looking into other resources that they might be able to use to further things.

However, it was during this time during Alexia’s arrival and continuing until slightly after her “death”, Wesker began to notice other things. A big factor in Wesker changing his direction in life was when he began to suspect Spencer was up to something. He began to feel as if a lot of what was going on was intentional and he began to question what Umbrella’s / Spencer's true goals really were. He noted research into T was starting to become costly and despite being presented as a B.O.W a lot of things weren't making full sense as such.

A major point in this was when Wesker was out on one of his routine hikes through the Akrley mountains and started to recount on the research they were doing with the T Virus. Wesker thought about how viruses like T have a high infection rate and that they’re not limited to one species as a host. He noted the sheer amount of biological material that surrounded the Arkley research facility, various different flora and fauna and then the fact that there was a decent sized city (Raccoon City) not far off. He came to realise this was an INCREDIBLY dangerous place to be researching a virus such as T.

He began doing some of his own personal experiments to test his theory and was quite disturbed to find that yes, T is able to infect biological matter indiscriminately. Birds, insects and plants were easily infected and weaponised by T and that was just the things they hadn’t done too many tests on previously as they already knew T could infect marine life and reptiles and all mammals as they already had ample data to prove that. So here was a virus that could infect pretty much all living organisms. Being worked on an extremely biologically rich environment. If it ever got out somehow it would be absolutely catastrophic.

Couple this with the knowing that Spencer / Umbrella executives had been open about desiring a 100% infection rate from T ( which was already a little unusual ) and the research that was currently being done was being done to remedy the fact that no virus could ever have a 100% infection rate. There would always be carriers who were asymptomatic and those who were naturally resistant to the Virus (like Jill turned out to be). The reason for working on B.O.Ws like Tyrant and Hunter was for them to be a clean up crew in the event of a virus outbreak, and take care of anyone/thing that escaped death/destruction via T.

So Wesker was suspicious and alarmed and had an idea something more than just simple B.O.W research and production was going on. Wesker details all of this better in Wesker’s Report 2, but thats the summary. Its unclear how much of this Wesker was able to share with William, though he expresses wanting to, he finds it hard given William was still in his very depressed state in coping with the existence of Alexia and he just wasn't sure William was stable enough to be having the same level of chats they used to have.

Wesker decides at this point he needs a career change to get to the bottom of it but decides to do this very very slowly so as not to arouse suspicion. For the meantime he goes back to trying to help William and progress research. He found out about the NE-type parasite being developed within Umbrella’s European branch and began to tell William about it, careful as he's aware William’s mental state hasn't been top notch lately. At first he notes William wasn’t really interested but he soon managed to get him on board. This is also occurring just after Alexia was declared dead from a lab accident.

Wesker notes this really “helped” William as suddenly he became relevant again and the other researcher were once again back to looking at him and Wesker as their superiors, as they should. With the respect and balance restored, William started to go back to normal, so normal in fact he apparently found interest in a another fellow researcher called Annette and struck up a romantic relationship with her. Wesker noted a faint sense of contempt/bewilderment for this but basically minded his business. What else could he do ? Besides, William seemed happy as odd as it were

and this was the beginning of the birth of the G virus. The tests ran on Lisa Trevor using the NE type Parasite lead to G’s discovery. During the four year period between G’s discovery and approval, Wesker had transferred into Umbrella’s intelligence unit. Wesker notes his reasoning for this was because G was going beyond his ability as researcher but William on the other hand was thriving. He decided it was the perfect time to transfer as both his interests had changed and everything seemed to be quite stable and normal, William seemed to have things under control.

So while Wesker had transferred to Umbrella’s intelligence bureau William and Annette were transferred to the NEST which was constructed specially for the research being done into G. Wesker also notes that this was a huge point of interest for him as he found it odd that Spencer took such personal interest in and approved further research into G given it deviated from the norm. G was not so good as a B.O.W but it’s eugenics potential was astronomical. This was a clue of sorts, and Wesker took close notice of Spencer’s behaviours and noted that he seemed to be readying himself for something.

I’m kinda happy to mince some of the lore in the REmakes and the stuff that was canon / implied in the original games so from here on this is majorly my own headcanons / interpretation of events based on the games / what makes the most sense to me as sometimes things in canon are a bit weird / hard to follow / some things do contradict with others. Some things will be added to / slightly rewritten as a result.

In 1998, Wesker and William are directed to reopen the old Umbrella training facility. William who would be one of the head / leading roles of the newly re-opened facility, basically taking Dr.Marcus former role and Wesker, who had spent the last five years dabbling in the military and part of Umbrella’s personal security force was set to oversee this. However, as preparations were being made to reopen the facility, something unexpected happened. Dr. Marcus, who had been assassinated about ten years prior, resurrected from the dead and began to wreak havoc on the facility and surrounding areas with T-infected leaches who began to rapidly spread the virus. Birkin and Wesker in a state of concern and confusion, and tasked with containing this bizarre incident sent an Umbrella security team to investigate. They are however quickly overwhelmed and killed by the T-infected leaches.

As the two (Billy and Rebecca) search the training school, they uncover disturbing evidence of what happened here both in the 1970s and recently. While built to oversee training of gifted teenagers recruited by Umbrella, evidence points towards Marcus deliberately using the children as test subjects in inhuman bioweapons research, turning them into Zombies, with two-level basement containing a torture chamber covered in dried blood. Zombies roam the halls of the school. Some of them are those children, left alone for twenty years. Others belong to Birkin's investigation team, consisting of USS and technicians sent recently to refurbish the school for re-opening.

Wesker and Birkin quickly start to figure out that the man/creature behind the outbreak is actually Dr. Marcus himself, despite the odds. Wesker, who had been planning on leaving Umbrella for some time now decides this is the perfect opportunity to jump ship. He and William have apparently had talks about this together previously and had both been interested in diverging from Umbrella. Wesker because he no longer trusted the company / suspected Spencer was up to something and William because they continued to deny him the promotion he was practically owed and treated oddly as they did not want for William to get any power over the company.

So while William was very much entertaining ideas to leave Umbrella he wasn’t ready to depart right away due to his work with G and more than likely fearing for the safety of his wife and child, which had been a major concern on his mind ever since the executives started making it clear they were trying to keep William from achieving any higher rank. So considering nothing good would happen to his research or and his family if he just up and disappeared for a while he wasn’t quite ready to leave immediately.

Wesker who had no such ties though decides, despite William’s fears he can’t be deterred from executing his ‘escape’ plan as he didn't see Umbrella being able to recover from this. This would be the beginning of the end for Umbrella. William attempts to oppose this but Wesker assures him there's nothing left he can do. They come to an agreement that William will stay behind long enough to finalise his research on G, While Wesker would proceed to do what he needed to do in order to collect the combat data that he could log and trade to The organisation he had been courting as a big step out of Umbrella. The idea being William stays behind and lays low long enough to finish G, then Wesker would contact him when he was ready and they would begin the process of getting himself, G and his family out of Umbrella as well.

They agreed that Wesker would lure the remaining S.T.A.R.S members to the Spencer mansion as he had already been instructed to do, while William putting up a good front for Umbrella would set off the self destruct in order to eliminate Marcus and his leach army, hopefully delaying the outbreak. Seemingly as a precaution, William then gave Wesker a sample of a virus he created, perhaps to sweeten the deal between the two of them and the rival company.

Meanwhile, Birkin and Wesker begin their own plans. Operating on the theory the mysterious man is somehow Marcus himself brought back to life, he poses a considerable threat and must be dealt with. Birkin plans to set off the facility's self-destruct device to blow up the training school and the man along with it.

This is where the canon divergence really takes effect for me because, during the early RE games, the Virus William gave to Wesker seemed to be the G virus. Which made Wesker a functioning G human. This was changed in RE5 when we found out this was suppose to be the “prototype” virus. I wrote a post here explaining why I diverge from this and why thats a kinda stupid decision IMO. Those posts can be found here and here. Warning they’re also quite long.

The second one is more of a nutshell version of the first + the conformation that what I’m about to say was actually “canon” prior to RE5. So feel free to only read that one if any of my hyper fix nonsense interests anyone at all LMAO. I also want to note its pretty easy for me to take it back and follow canon so if the G human Wesker thing doesn’t work for some folks its fine, it doesn’t have to be a thing, although given its minor and doesn’t really change anything highly important and only makes things easier to understand I don’t see how it would be an issue for anyone tbqh.

With a sample of the G virus in his possession and William’s research findings on G’s regenerative capabilities Wesker attempts to exit the training facility through an underground tunnel. Here he’s confronted by Colonel Sergei Vladimir who was apparently keeping tabs on Wesker and felt suspicious of him. He confronts Wesker and berates him for his decision to set off the self destruct device in the training school as this had not been ordered by Spencer. Interestingly enough William isn’t mentioned, which suggests Sergei, due to his pre-existing suspicions toward Wesker apparently decided this was Wesker’s idea and doing alone and took a big issue with it as it wasn’t ordered by Spencer.

With Wesker making no attempt to indcate otherwise Sergei is unhappy with the insubordination Wesker was showing and he instructed his Ivans to teach Wesker a lesson, however Wesker managed to come out on top and escape and without much time left before the self-destruct device would detonate Sergei was forced to leave.

This was the first snag Wesker’s plan had hit and this made it obvious to him that he was in more danger than he realised. Moreover the X day plan was already extremely risky to his own life. It may have been obvious at this point that William might have been in more danger than originally thought was well but given Sergei never mentioned William and seemed to believe it was Wesker’s idea and Wesker who set off the self destruct device it seemed William was pretty safe, particularly as Wesker makes no attempt to correct Sergei’s assumptions.

Continuing with Umbrella’s instructions Wesker lured the S.T.A.R.S Alpha team the to mansion and from here the plan seemed to get back on track, however two things remained on his mind. That unpleasant confrontation with Sergei and the fact that Lisa Trevor had survived Umbrella’s execution attempt no worse for wear. It became apparent that she was simply put into a death-like state for a few days and regained consciousness later, her body repaired, which essentially further proved William Birkin’s opinions about the G virus and its regenerative capabilities if utilised correctly.

This is where Wesker began to realise he could perhaps use the virus on himself with no adverse effects and that it might give him the edge he needed to survive the mansion as, aside from his previous knowledge of the mansion from working in the underground laboratory there was NOTHING guaranteeing Wesker’s survival either. From here he concocted a plan to set a Tyrant on the remaining S.T.A.R.S members, record the combative data, take out the creature and pocket the specimen sample and hop over to the Rival Company with honours.

Shortly before the confrontation in the mansion basement, Wesker infected himself with the Virus sample William had given him, understanding the likelihood of his own death. He found no ill effects present, in fact he wasn’t sure anything had happened at all. When confronted by Jill and Chris he then unleashed the Tyrant but unexpectedly it instantly attacked him, impaling him through the abdomen, killing him. Wesker was left in a death-like state of unconsciousness for a short amount of time while the virus that had bonded with his system activated and repaired his wounds. When Wesker woke up, he instantly attempted to retrieve the Tyrants combat data, only to discover he had been locked out of the computer system curtesy of the Red Queen / Sergei. Something that seemed to have been pre-planned.

Moreover, the S.T.A.R.S members had destroyed the Tyrant leaving him completely empty handed. Infuriated, Wesker began his hurried escape from the mansion where he began to realise he hadn’t just been saved from death, he was now stronger and faster than he was before. One of the first signs that something inside him had changed beside the remarkable regenerative display was Wesker realised his vision was near perfect. As he battled his way out of the mansion he realised his strength and speed continued to increase.

By the time he reached safety he came to realise that he no longer needed Umbrella’s data or specimens. He was the specimen. Moreover, he could use his “death” to his advantage. He was able to link up with the Rival Organisation and seemingly begin his take over of it with little resistance. From this point on Wesker continued to watch Umbrella, preparing for any opportunity he could to steal data and research from them.

However, 3 months later in September things began to go sour on William’s end. Believing Wesker was dead and feeling the heat from Umbrella, he attempted to enter a deal with the US government for asylum for himself and his family in exchange for the G virus. Wesker attempted to intervene here and retrieve the G virus and William however to his dismay he found Umbrella was ahead of him and got to William before his operatives could. With William confirmed “dead”, he had to instead opt to collect a sample of the virus. This was left up to Ada Wong.

In my canon this is pretty much Wesker’s one massive regret. He had every intention of saving William but Umbrella was too fast and honestly it feels to him like all stuff he really should have known. He should have acted sooner. He should have found a way to reach out to William right away. William’s death changed altered Wesker’s plans and direction as William’s G virus and brilliance was intended to play a big role in Wesker’s new organisation. However without William, Wesker lost interest. Back to focusing on Spencer, he continued to steal Umbrella’s data and hammer nails into its coffin while amassing wealth and power along the way for his own means.

This all very much follows canon from this point on and I don’t have any other divergences to note up until RE5. The canon divergences here are that Wesker is still very much part of Spencer’s Wesker Project but I’ve changed this a little because frankly I thought it was last minute addition to rewrite an otherwise fine bit of canon info. When Wesker confronts Spencer he finds out the details of Project W. He was essentially artificially manufactured as part of this personal pet project Spencer had cooked up to develop an advanced race of human beings as: “Spencer believed the world to be corrupted by human decadency and longed for a utopian world of gifted intellectuals.”

He attempted to achieve this by selectively breeding a bunch of suitable participants in the project who had high intelligence and desirable genes, who's children were then raised in various fashions. Many were fostered out to specially selected “families”, others spent their time in Umbrella run orphanages. All these children were closely monitored by Umbrella + those involved in this extremely top secret, fucked up little project.

They were groomed into fostering Spencer’s ideals in various ways, whether through the teachings of the Umbrella owned orphanages or through the direction of the specially implanted foster families. However, of the hundreds of candidates, only 13 of them showed promise for Spencer’s vision. Wesker himself was one of the 13 other Wesker’s who stayed on track into adulthood. However, by 1998 Spencer found himself with only two Wesker children who still showed promise, essentially resulting in failure of the experiment, particularly as Spencer’s health was failing and he was desperate to put his focus onto something that would save his life.

William’s G virus was very strongly considered as the miracle drug that could achieve this, however development was a slow process. This is where all the research Umbrella was doing begins to piece together to create an disturbing picture. Ultimately Spencer intended to use the T virus to wipe out most of man kind and the G virus to restore his own life. (in the meantime working on other projects to so), they would then rule over the planet as below only Spencer himself. Needless to say the many time constrains due to Spencer's age / health and the ultimate collapse of Umbrella meant this insane dream could never reach fruition.

Except for the fact that Wesker had achieved super-human status via the G virus sample he was given and all this had taken a toll on his psyche. Knowing he had been an experiment his whole life both repulsed and fascinated him. At this point Wesker was someone who’s connection to humanity had already disintegrated and in a twisted way learning all this restored Wesker’s direction. Enter the “Uroboros Plan”

A plan that failed thanks to Chris Redfield and Sheva Alomar. Wesker was weakened, captured and taken into custody as opposed to being killed.

#⊰ ° ‧: ｡* ∞ 🕶️ ━◞ From The Mun ⊱#⊰ ° ‧: ｡* ∞ 🕶️ ━◞ Headcanons ⊱#Headcanons

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mrmallard · 4 months

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Okay, gonna start Final Fantasy 13-2.

I'm not gonna get as raucous or butthurt as I did over the first game because reception has always been pretty positive for the sequel. I have my nitpicks regarding the story, the antagonist and the set-up for the game's existence in the first place, but as much as you can enjoy 13 as a game past a certain point, Final Fantasy 13-2 is just a solid RPG all the way through with a ton of content and a cohesive, open-ended play experience. 13-2 is like when ff13 Got Good, except for the entire game instead of after hours of narrow gameplay corridors.

FF13 had good gameplay, but the way the game was built felt kinda flawed on a foundational level (on top of the linear level design, grinding was almost impossible and totally disincentived by capping player levels between story chapters, but grinding DID help at points which required exiting to the main menu to reset the enemy placement which took a few minutes every time). 13-2 has a noticeable graphical downgrade, mostly in the FPS, but however the gameplay was foundationally flawed in the first game, the second game fixed. The narrative is fine, but this is a gamey RPG. This is the sort of game I like.

I said before that Final Fantasy 13 is worth playing on its own merits. It is. It's worth experiencing to see what it does, to sort of understand the weird position Final Fantasy was in when it came out. It's a beautiful game and I like the characters, for better and for worse, and I think it's worth experiencing just to say you've seen what all the fuss was about.

Final Fantasy 13-2 is better. Perhaps not character-wise, but in just about every other way it's straight-up a better game.

Everything I don't like about the first game, 13-2 does better. That being said, the two things I like about the first game - which I won't mention - are exactly where this game fumbles, though the former is a total nitpick and I'm mostly just salty about the latter because of how hard they have to break the narrative just for this game to even exist in the first place. The games are polar opposites in every area of comparison.

Or at least, this is how I felt for years. I played FF13 back in the day, I was less harsh than most but I had my issues with it. 13-2 was a game where I would just lie down facing my TV screen, and play that motherfucker for hours on end. I'm really excited to play 13-2 again.

#final fantasy 13-2 #lightningposting #long post

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astraves · 11 months

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Sessions in Ink - Postscript

A letter came to me, by post.

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I had abandoned Ouvedhe’s office when he brandished the blade at me, and made his request.

His approach and candor were uncharacteristic, and his sudden turn to show the mended hand scythe and explain the state of its make admittedly staggered me. Ten thousand some-odd years after the fact and my first reaction is anger before reason.

He’s capable of his own dirty work. That entire attempt at our discussion was... odd, like he was trying to carry on the talks until someone hounded into his ear that it was time to play his hand.

Bear in mind, our discussions were his idea. I’ve never been under the impression that he’d abandon them or fuck it up, and yet here he was, doing both.

He requested to see me in Suramar again. I told him to come to Dazar’alor instead.

Valente and I have made a vacation of it. He plays with the other children here, sits in for lessons on old legends and all the rest. I’ve had to bribe more than one instructor, but times are changing.

Suramar, Dazar’alor, the Horde... They acknowledge that he’s an elf. He acknowledges that they’re trolls. The children don’t care until we tell them to.

So I don’t tell them to. He seems to like their culture just fine, and they like him.

These people are well aware of history. They’re living embodiments of it, not unlike us, but the trade-off for shorter lifespans is the capacity to always be current. In the moment.

Zandalar’s tribe, and really the others that would have us at least, are like exercises in mindfulness.

For my part and his, we’re trying not to be the sorcerous bogeymen and godless, baby-eating night monsters their legends claim. I’ve already had a man throw bones at me and claim that I’m weaker in the day, powerless without the moon.

I explained that it’s because I’m nocturnal, and that noon is still the middle of my night in comparison.

I was offered coffee and asked, very kindly at that, not to curse him and his children, which I didn’t. So he asked if I could bless him and his instead, or curse a rival angler with my “elfin witchcraft.”

When he learned I couldn’t (or wouldn’t), I was deigned useless and left alone.

The coffee was good though.

I’m left to sit by the harbor, waiting. Nursing this brew in the sun with the golden glare of the temple behind me and the ocean breeze howling between the ziggurats.

“Volseth,” a voice called out amid the bustle of the docks. Ouvedhe’s, by any measure.

Astraves sat on his crossed legs like a gull taking roost atop the lamp posts leading up in their procession to the higher tiers behind him.

Clutched between his hands is a clay cup, simply made without a handle and just enough of a glaze to seal the earthenware. He nursed the dark, bitter brew within and watched the tide.

“You got my letter,” he says quietly.

“Which only went to prove that you received mine,” the elder offered as he folded his hands behind his back. “We need to speak.”

Volseth took a drink of his coffee and kept to his silence.

“What was that, at our last discussion?”

“Certain entities wanted proof,” the director started. “I was hoping to make it an easier process, smoother. More readily transitioning, but...”

“They rushed your hand and told you it was now or never, right there. You couldn’t get me into position, got flustered. Threw your hand on the table and lost the game.”

“On the contrary,” Ouvedhe began, “I won. Consequently,” he added as he settled in on the wall beside Volseth, “so did you.”

“The original argument when Geillais presented her evidence was that you were either psychologically broken, beyond all repair and remediation, or that you were some kind of psychotic fiend - that you yourself would’ve easily been another one of your victims, were it not for your justifications.” “They thought you were sick,” he went on, “and that there was no cause or effect for you. That you killed animals as a boy, hurt girls in your adolescence and took your stifled frustrations and powerlessness out on society as a man. But they wanted to corner you, isolate you, and have you dead to rights before disturbing the social fabric of things.” Volseth sighed through his nostrils and took another drink. “They wanted you, the alienist, to substantiate her report.”

“Yes. And I could, in some ways. Largely, though, I could not, when it was coupled with our conversations. By your own confession, you did have a spell of powerlessness. Frustration. Your father’s death was the breaking point of that, but it was well into a century before you started taking lives for it.”

Astraves nodded and straightened his back out with a grimace.

“And as you’re quick to point out, deserving ones... The man I told you about last time, he’d been quietly arrested and resolved while you were away from the world. You wouldn’t have known, I suppose.”

“Elsewise, you... Love animals in the way that you decidedly don’t keep them, preferring to let them be in their natural element... You’ve never expressed violence toward the disenfranchised or impoverished, never... flexed your muscles as it were upon any you deign beneath you...”

Volseth raised a hand and waved it on.

Ouvedhe went quiet and cleared his throat.

“It’s as close to an exoneration as you can get for killing at least five hundred people. Documented cases, at that. You are as cleared as I can make you, Lord Astraves. I know, though. They know. Some shadow of that will always loom over you, and no small degree of threat. What’s to stop you from snapping and cleaning house again, hm?”

“The presence of air in my lungs,” he answered quietly. “Maybe if our peers and superiors can keep their fucking noses clean, they won’t have that problem.”

“Ah... That’s the Interior Ministry’s problem,” Ouvedhe mused with a grin. “Not ours.”

“It’s my problem if we falter again. We built Suramar. I’m not perfect, but I occupy the history and position that I do because I have standards, Temeril. Standards keep the towers aloft. People fed and educated. Lives and livelihoods in order.”

“As a predator, then, you’ll know that you’ll starve,” Ouvedhe remarked, “unless you’ve resolved best practice for eating elephants.”

“Protecting territory to one is another’s stewardship. Both have the same outcome. I’d like to think you want to help me see to these outcomes though. You have a stake in it as well, and we can do this legitimately.”

“Or you can take that tool you had recast and do what you need to. I’m done.”

“Truly?”

Volseth shook his head. “I can simply leave. If Suramar falls, I live somewhere else. If Azeroth falls, there are other worlds... Being married to something and unable to walk away doesn’t work so well with me, Ouvedhe. Staying for it, fighting for it... That’s just going to get me killed, and almost has in the past. I have things now that I’d rather live for.”

Temeril Ouvedhe took in the din of the shipyard as Volseth went quiet and emptied his cup with a grunt. Both men watched the seabirds, the ships trundling in and away. Crewmen barking at one another, priests blessing ships, children playing chase... “I’d say this is worth killing for,” the elder thought aloud. “So is home.”

He stood and plodded a weathered hand on Volseth’s shoulder before turning to walk away.

“One man to another, you could use an anchor. I mean it in the best possible way... You’ve got a new assignment as well, on the Isles.”

“What is it?” Volseth asked tiredly.

“Time,” Temeril said as he walked away. “Namely, its disruption... Fel won’t help you. Call your lightspark and get out there, Volseth.”

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weelittleweasley · 3 years

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Rosy Cheeks | Fred x Reader

Prompt as anon requested: Fred has always been very forward with his feelings, especially when it comes girls. You on the other hand were always taken aback by how forward he was.

Warnings: fluffy, blushy, cute, warm, and fuzzy :)

Word Count: 2.4k

Small chatter in the library filled Fred’s ears as he sat at a small table pushed against the wall. He leaned back, twirling his quill in his fingers, not paying a lick of attention to the study group at the table. He tuned out Alicia’s voice going on about Flitwick’s class, arguing with Angelina about an answer to the study guide they made together for their upcoming exam. This was all nonsense to Fred in comparison to what he was staring at; rather who he was staring at.

Fred maintained a soft gaze on you from across the library. He watched as you sat alone at a small table, hair pulled up sloppily into a pony tail, the loose strands falling around your face, framing it. You propped your head up with your hand as you read through a book, flipping its pages, struggling to find the information you needed for the same exam he was preparing for. Fred’s heart fluttered in his ribcage as he watched you bite your lip, squinting your eyes as you read the words on the page. How was it possible for someone to be this adorable without even trying?

George leaned back in his chair, laughing at Alicia and Angelina fighting over the right answer. He turned to his right to see his twin, staring off into the distance. He followed his brother’s line of sight and saw exactly who he was gawking at. He let out a light chuckle, “Fred, mate, stop gawking at her and go talk to her.”

Fred snapped out of his daydream and turned to his brother. “I don’t want to disturb her, she looks so peaceful,” he retorts with a small smile on his lips as he returned his gaze to you from across the library. Alicia rolled her eyes at Fred, knowing well enough that Fred wouldn’t care disturbing a girl from her work if it meant he could talk to her. “I’m serious. Anyway, what were you two going on about?”

“Ah, ah, don’t be so quick to change the subject, Weasley,” Angelina shakes her head. “I didn’t know you had a thing for (Y/L/N), when did this start?” she asks, leaning forward, more intrigued in Fred’s little crush than the work in front of them.

George laughs, “It wasn’t obvious before? Fred drools at the mouth when he sees her.” His comment makes Angelina and Alicia both laugh as Fred punches George in the arm as a warning. “Godric, calm down, I’m just teasing you, mate.”

You were in the same year as Fred and George, but you had never really been friends with them. Just acquaintances. Fred didn’t start having a crush on you until your fifth year at Hogwarts. You had all come back from summer vacation, and all of a sudden it seemed like you had grown up before everyone’s eyes. You cut your hair, you didn’t have braces anymore, you started wearing light make up to highlight your facial features, and not to mention you suddenly became more aware of your feminine figure. The male gaze was much more present on you and you could feel it. It’s not that you didn’t like the attention, you just weren’t used to it. You were used to blending in the background, minding your own business and keeping a tight circle of close friends. So when random boys came up to you, like Fred, you were always caught off guard by their flirtations. It’s not that you didn’t find Fred cute, because you indeed find him to be incredibly handsome, you were just not used to how forward he was with his emotions.

Fred leans forward and puts his head in his hands. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but it seems like every time I try to talk to her or flirt with her, I just end up screwing things. I compliment her, I try to talk to her as much as I can, I offer to walk her to class, but when I do those things it seems like she just freezes up.”

Closing her book and surrendering to the conversation, Alicia speaks, “For starters, Fred, you aren’t very subtle when it comes to fancying girls.” Fred furrows his brows. “You are always very forward with them and make it known that you like them and some girls prefer a little game. Some back and forth, make the bloke sweat a bit. You on the other hand are...intense for lack of better words.”

Her comment makes the table burst out in laughter as Fred tries to defend himself. “Intense?! I’m intense?!” he exclaims before noticing his rising volume, earning a few shushes from the people around him. “Alright, fine, I can be a little intense, but it’s just because I don’t like playing games. I like getting right down to it. Why waste time?”

George retorts to his brother, “But how do you know that she doesn’t like the chase, mate? Maybe she needs to take things slow.”

Fred just rolls his eyes, “Have I ever not succeeded in getting a girl with my method?” Alicia and Angelina scoff before returning back to their books, their argument about the right answer ensuing yet again. Fred continues talking to George, “Look, she’s also studying for Flitwick’s exam. Maybe she needs help. How kind of me to offer her some help!”

Fred rises from his seat, grabbing his book leaving the table. “How are you gonna help her when you barely know what you’re doing, mate?” George speaks.

Spinning around, Fred quickly responds, “She doesn’t know that. Fake it ‘till you make it.” He sends his brother and their friends a wink before heading over to your table, unbeknownst to you.

You were deep into reading your book for Flitwick’s class, flipping wildly through pages to find the charm and wand movement you were looking for. “It has to be here somewhere,” you mumble to yourself, licking your fingertips before flipping through pages.

“Need help?” you hear a voice speak. You look up to see Fred Weasley towering over you, a small smirk on his lips. Your heart rate speeds up the moment you see him, heart pounding against your chest. Your mouth goes dry and every thought in your mind vanishes. He literally made you speechless. Don’t freak out, you think to yourself. “May I?” he asks, referring to the empty seat next to you. Nodding your head up and down, you quickly look away from him as to not draw anymore attention to yourself. Fred takes the seat next to you as you feel your cheeks heating up, suddenly becoming more self-aware in the space next to him. “Studying for Flitwick’s exam?” he asks.

Taking a gulp, you muster up the words to speak to the cute boy next to you. “Um, yeah,” you nod your head, eyes still glued to the textbook, refusing to look at him. It felt wrong to look at him for some reason. Fred’s gaze did something to you. It felt so intimate for the strangest reason. “Or attempting to,” you add. “I can’t seem to find the charm I’m looking for in the textbook.”

Fred scoots his chair closer to you and you tense up a little bit. He reaches to your textbook and says, “Maybe I can be of some help? What charm is it?” As he asks you, he places his arm around the back of your chair, resting it around you. You become very aware of his slick placement, an obvious move, and your mouth goes dry. Fred was making his move and he was monitoring your reaction carefully.

You didn't know what to do. Flirt back? Answer his question? Tell him that you’re okay and that’ll you’ll find it? You didn’t want him to think that you didn’t like his flirtation because you did, you just didn’t know how to react. Instead of saying something flirty back, you just look at him and answer the question. “Erecto,” you speak as Fred widens his eyes. Of course. You just widen your eyes back as Fred chuckles. “I-I-I didn’t mean it like that, I meant that’s the charm I’m looking for!” you justify your answer.

Fred continues to chuckle before replying, “At least take me on a date first, (Y/N).” He sends you a wink as your cheeks go bright red, making Fred chuckle more. “You look adorable when you blush,” Fred confesses which only makes you blusher harder and look away from him, a smile forming on your lips which Fred doesn’t miss. The smile makes Fred smile wider and his heart flutter. “Alright, let me have a look,” he pulls the textbook, flipping through pages with one hand, keeping his other arm around the back of your chair. You just sit quietly and play with the quill in your hand, tucking your hand behind your ear. Godric, this was embarrassing. “And here we have it. Right next to Engorgio,” he winks at you as you bite your lip to hold back your smile. Fred notices and speaks, “Hey, don’t hide that smile from me. You look beautiful when you smile.” He pushes a piece of hair out of your face and brushes it behind your ear as you heart stops, making your mouth go dry. You let a small smile pull at the corners of your mouth. “There we are. Beautiful.”

The two of you look at each other for a moment, staring at the other. Fred’s eyes dart all over your face trying to gage your reaction to his words, nervously scanning you. You just stare at Fred’s eyes and look at how much life are behind them. Aside from being a goof, Fred Weasley had so much charm and charisma. That’s what made him so attractive. He was confident in himself. But you don’t let yourself get carried away. You break your gaze and go back to your work, but Fred keeps looking at you. “Thank you, Fred,” you tell him quietly, scribbling down the charm on your parchment.

You can still feel Fred’s eyes on you as you write, growing uncomfortable in his gaze. It wasn’t that he was making you uncomfortable, it’s just the fact that he loved look at you was something you weren’t used to. “Can I ask you something, (Y/N)?” he asks as your heart stops. Uh oh.

Your mind is racing with possible questions he could ask you, but you still say, “Sure.”

Fred takes in a breath before speaking, “Do you consider me intense?”

You furrow your brows, “Intense?”

“Yeah, like Alicia told me I’m intense. I understand that if she was referring to me when I’m playing quidditch, but she meant like...when I’m around a girl that I like...I’m intense with them. Would you agree?” he asks, arm still around you as you bite down on your lip, confused.

You open your mouth to speak, trying to formulate a sentence. “Well, I don’t know...I haven’t seen you interact with a girl who you fancy,” you tell him as you play with the quill in your hands.

Your comment makes Fred laugh and shake his head. “Merlin,” he breathes out. “You’re bluffing, right?” You furrow your brows yet again, completely confused. You were being truthful. You knew that Fred flirted with you, but didn’t he flirt with everyone? That was Fred’s thing, wasn’t it? “(Y/N), I fancy you. I have since fifth year,” Fred confesses.

In that moment, your heart stops. Fred Weasley fancied you? So the flirting was because he fancied you? “Oh,” you speak as Fred just chuckles, waiting for you to say something. Your shyness gets the best of you again and you just blush deep crimson for the thousandth time, making Fred smile. “I didn’t know, Fred.”

He shakes his head, “For someone as smart and as gorgeous as you, you’re quite oblivious, (Y/N). I’ve been flirting with you every day, sneaking a glance or touch when I can. You thought I was doing all of that to be friendly?” You just shrug in response. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable during any of it, it’s just the way I’m used to flirting with girls,” he tells you with a soft smile. “But I am serious. I do have a crush on you. And I’d love to take you out on a date if you’d let me, (Y/N).”

Your heart is beating a mile a minute and your palms are sweating. There’s no way that this is happening right now. Five minutes ago you were freaking out over an exam and now you were being asked out on a date by one of the fittest guys in your year. With a shaky breath in and a smile, you reply, “Okay. I’ll go on a date with you.”

Fred gives you a toothy grin. “Brilliant,” he beams. “How does this Friday work? We can go to the Three Broomsticks and get some Butterbeer?” he asks. “7pm?” You give him a small nod, rubbing the back of your neck, trying to hide your excitement. “Cool. Don’t worry, darling, I’ll make it worth your while,” he winks before placing a small kiss on your bright crimson cheek. “I’ll see you then.” He rises from his chair and makes his way back to the table where George, Alicia, and Angelina eagerly wait for him.

As he walks away, you let out a little giggle, excited for what the weekend has in store for you. Now with a beaming smile on your face, you continue to study for the exam, in a much better mood than before. “I’ve got a date with Fred Weasley,” you whisper to yourself, blushing hard as you flip through pages of your book.

“And?” George asks as Fred plops back down in his chair. “You scare her away again? Or did you behave yourself?” he pushes Fred’s shoulder.

Fred looks at his friends and brother and simply speaks, “Intense my arse. Guess who has a date this Friday?” he leans back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest as his friends’ jaws drop. “Don’t act surprised. I told you my method always works.”

George scoffs, “Yeah right. Hey, (Y/N)!” He bellows from the opposite side of the library, grabbing your attention as your eyes widen at the call. “My idiot brother said he’s got a date with you on Friday. That true? Or did he bribe you to say yes?” Fred slaps his brother upside the head.

You let out a light laugh, very aware of the multiple pairs of eyes on you from various students, anticipating your answer. “I don’t do bribes, George. Besides, your brother has quite the way with words,” you tease with a little more confidence, earning a few oohs from around you.

George stares at you and then Fred in disbelief. Then he speaks, “Nice going, mate!” Fred chuckles before looking over at you, sending you a wink.

#Fred and George #fred weasley #Fred and Goerge Weasley #fred #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley x reader imagine #fred weasley x muggle!reader #fred weasly x reader #fred weasley x female reader #fred weasley x fem!reader #fred weasley x y/n #HP

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kirisaki-daichi-scenarios · 3 years

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a discussion of jabberwock with team interaction hcs + deeper nash analysis

for anon who asked "Can we get some headcanons for jabberwock members or like headcanons when they're together? (its okay if it was jason or nash only)" and made me realise it's about time i get these guys' personalities down

note before we start: cause i didn't know their names until i wrote this

zack is the bald one, allen is the one with a headband, nick is the other white guy apart from nash.

team hcs

nick gets bullied for being under 6ft, but not by jason

nah good old jason teases all of them for being short fucks, emphasising that they’re all 5ft tall in comparison to him

he 100% lifts things out of the others' reach and then laughs for ages after when they try get them

unfortunately though, they’re all used to this and now just ignore him. either that or nash stares at him so intensely jason actually repents and hands it back

zack’s another one with a very good glare, but he’s used it too often on jason and it’s since stopped working.

also jason gives me ‘straightens his back as much as possible when getting measured so he’ll measure in as 7ft’ vibes

oh and he thinks he could wrestle a gator and win. i’ve got no explanation for that except for the fact you can't tell me it's ooc.

allen’s very protective over his white headband - it’s his lucky item - but he’d never let anyone know that

he’s confident in his abilities like the rest of them, but there’s nothing wrong with wearing a headband just in case

(nash knows anyway)

they watch nba matches together and do not shut up once throughout the entire match - lots of jeering, booing each other if someone criticises a player they like, lots of “i could do that”, lots of “get your fucking hand out of my popcorn do you want me to punch you in the face” etc

they used to all live together, but nash has since moved out. he was sick and tired of trying to make people do chores, as the only one who kept their room clean.

yeah the others’ house looks like a heap of trash but also very much “where’s my toothbrush?” “it’s in the third coke can by the orange peel behind the sink” *silence* “yeah thanks” *a minute later* “who the fuck has been using my toothbrush”

they’re all “bro your dribbling sucks why are you on this team loser” to one another, but also very protective (aka arrogant for one another) if anyone else Dared to criticise one of their teammates

then again, what kind of person would criticise jabberwock

half of the time he spends with jabberwock, nash is a Single Mother TM trying to get a bunch of man children to behave; the other half of the time, he's just as bad as the rest of them

i talk about this a lot but i get the feeling nash is an exceptionally hard worker, but at least he gets to let his hair down around his teammates sometimes

nash is also the only person jason thought was truly ‘strong’ at first sight

and nash is also the only person who can beat jason in a fight, and also the only person who can get nash to train, and also the only person who can.. [etc. you see my point].

(n.b jason calls himself the ‘almighty me’, nash says that ‘even god can’t beat me’. point made.)

you know how jason silver’s motto is “I have never thought”

imagine him proudly stating that, before zack adds with a straight face, “yeah cause nash does it for you.”

in short, the team would fall apart without nash.

although the team’s communication and coordination is very fine tuned, nash is the guy who keeps everything in order off the court to prevent what is essentially a team of aces ('main characters', if you will) from falling apart

they hang out together a lot, but do all have other friend groups that do not overlap

team bbqs

unofficial rule not to criticise anchovies on pizza because the one time nick did, nash snapped

however pineapple on pizza is fair game, even though zack quite likes it

more than once, jason has brought a girl home and nick has stolen her attention away with effortless trick shots, funky ball manoeuvring etc

more than once nick has had to trek to nash’s place (with a black eye) at midnight to have somewhere to sleep

do you see a correlation?

oh and everyone in the team has been walked in on by nash when they were naked with some girl

nash has absolutely no shame

he apologises to the girl with a charming albeit insincere tone, and then remains standing in front of the bed/couch until his teammate does what he expected of them

usually it involves not having come to practice

allen learnt a few (emphasis on ‘few’) words of japanese before they travelled to japan and was disappointed that he never got to use them

that said, one of those words was hentai

and now a quick analysis of some panels

a) so there's at least one player who wasn't underestimating vorpal swords. if i were to overanalyse, i'd add that nick's wearing a hoodie (possibly athletic wear) whilst nash has a 'fancy' shirt on; perhaps nick wasn't expecting them to be going to host clubs instead of chilling/training?

b) i know what you're thinking: "how can you say nash is a hard worker when he didn't want to practice for the match". i reckon he was still pretty high on the complete and utter success of their previous match, that plus being around girls, encouraged him to have a more 'jason-y' personality. (either that or fujimaki didn't want to add too much depth/realism into nash's character bc he's unequivocally the villain, right? and obviously this helps with the plot and the jabberwock bad geniuses gom good geniuses rhetoric.)

earlier, i mentioned how nash is the only one that could keep the team together, and is thus the undeniable head of the team; here's a clear example. you can see both jason and zack have no interest in continuing - if anything, there's disgust in their faces, kinda just saying "we spat on all of japan, now we can go home". whereas nash won't allow for the slightest of possibilities that there might exist a team stronger than them, and hence agrees to the match. the key thing here is that the others do as he says without too much fuss.

another thing to note is nash's reference to harakiri. now what can we make of that, alongside his proficiency in japanese, in relation to his character? the way i see it, he's either a weeb or possibly has some japanese lineage. (you could spin that even further and say his mother was japanese, taught him the language, then abandoned him, and hence his almost excessive hatred/mockery of the japanese people.) (is that why he wanted to do another match in japan..?)

just a quick point. "thanks to him" - jason isn't so superior as to think that he could win this match effortlessly without nash's support. links pretty nicely with my earlier idea about how nash is the only person jason has always considered 100% strong.

yet another point about how nash is the strongest of the team in pretty much every way you can think of. you know how scary/powerful you have to be to shut jason up (after he's getting real pissed from being prevented from scoring?)

i personally think this is a pretty important panel, though i've never seen anyone mention it before. did nash grow up training in a professional basketball training situation, as opposed to growing up playing streetball like i suspect the others did? well, to answer that question, imma bring in another panel.

here we see visible rage on nick, zack and jason's faces - they can't accept their loss, which is fair enough. but i'd argue that nash's face seems to depict sadness more than it does anger like to rest of them, look at how downturned his mouth is - and he's looking away from the 'camera', as if hiding his shame.

when you combine that with what he says here, i have no doubt that this is someone who has experienced some proper lows in basketball - as would be expected from someone who's played 'properly'. he's possibly not even a prodigy like the rest of them - compare jason's motto with his. "i have never thought" versus "do not suppose opportunity will knock twice at your door".

there's various lines of thinking you could design with this - he might have been trained by alex (hence, himuro having heard of jabberwock, though he should have known of a team as popular of jabberwock regardless), he might have grown up with professional basketballer parents etc. but here's my own little theory:

nash received serious basketball training from early on - maybe because his parents were living vicariously through him, or maybe he always loved the sport and wanted to be no1. so there he was training away, but, as he grew older, it started getting all a bit too much.

he didn't want to dedicate his entire life to basketball. after all, his hobby is water sports and his speciality is boxing; that's a lot of different things to be keeping up with, whereas the pipeline for promising athletes demands people focus solely on basketball. as a result, nash become bitter: stopped attending practice regularly, got in trouble for trash talk of increasing severity, etc.

result was he was kicked out of the program.

only when he was no longer playing basketball again, did he realise how much he missed it. and hence he got into streetball, where he was tremendously successful as someone with so much training, 'elite skills', and the overly confident attitude to boot.

then, one fateful day, he met jason and the rest is history.

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anime-grimmy-art · 3 years

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Told you guys I’d ramble in due time.

I absolutely adore Bravely Default 2. It came at a really bad time cos I can’t waste 70 hours on a jrpg, but well, it’s too late to be concerned about that now. And as is tradition with me obsessing over a new game / show / whatever, you’ll basically find a fullblown review disguised as ramblings right under the cut. Be aware that I’m gonna talk about EVERYTHING, so spoilers are a given. Some maybe even for the previous Bravely Default games.

Also, if you wanna talk about this game in any capacity, hit me up, I’m DESPERATE to talk more about it.

Just for reference on how long this is gonna be, I made a voice recording while driving to remember all the points I wanna make, and that recording is almost 2 hours long. I did cut it down but still, this is gonna be a lot.

I’ll start off with the things that actually bugged me about the game, since there are only 3 things that really bothered me. First of, I really don’t like that you can name Seth. He has too much personality to be a self insert and player integration is not that big of a part in the game that this decision can be justified. It wouldn’t bother me that much if it didn’t leave a bad mark on the ending. First of all, we were robbed of Gloria desperately shouting for Seth, which makes the impact work less, and it’s just so prevalent that the name can’t be said because you have all the normal sound design going. If they’d just let the credits still play I wouldn’t have batted an eye, but because every other sound comes in it’s so obvious they’re just silently shouting in this scene, which makes it look silly. Like I said, this decision is more a detriment than an addition, and it’s a shame it casts a shadow on an otherwise heartfelt ending.

Speaking about lost potential, the other thing that really bothers me is the lost potential in certain plot points and character conclusions. I mainly mean Adam and Edna here. Both of them have been built up to be these formidable foes but they just, die. If it was just Adam I’d be fine with it, since you expect Edna to backstab him and be the actual big bad of the story, but I cannot fathom why they dropped Edna this HARD. If not Edna herself, I don’t understand why we don’t get more of a reaction from the Fairies and especially Adelle. I mean, Edna was her sole reason she left for her journey in the first place, then Edna dies and that’s it? No part where she grieves for a second? No concern from the others about Adelle? Mind you, I haven’t finished all the Sidequests, so maybe there actually is one in which this is addressed, but I think even just a Party Chat after Bad End 1 would have been sufficient to show how Adelle suddenly feels about the loss of Edna. It would have made Bad End 2 / The Secret Ending even more impactful, because, yeah, of course, you kinda know Adelle isn’t going to turn her back on fairy kind, but one of the reasons she doesn’t leave is because if Enda didn’t get a happy ending, then she shouldn’t either. It would have been amazing foreshadowing if she showed this sentiment before this scene happened. Other than that, it’s a shame that we know so little about Edna, or rather, how she became “bad”. I get she’s supposed to be corrupted by the Night’s Nexus, but how did it even come to this? It can’t have been a gradual thing, after all, Adelle says Edna was always good natured and then just disappeared one day. Really would have loved seeing more of that plot point.

Ok, last gripe I have, some choices in the soundtrack and sound design. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love the OST, and I will get to that, but damn, whatever Revo used for the lead instrument in Wiswald hurts my ears. It’s a really good track, but I always have to turn down my volume because these high pitched sounds physically hurt. And for sound design. Dude, the Night’s Nexus is the least threatening, nightmare fueled abomination that ever existed. I get that its growl is kinda supposed to be layered with Edna’s or sth, but it, it just sounds silly. If they went the route of just swinging between different voices or began distorting it from phase to phase, it would have been fine. But the choice they made really made an otherwise creepy design just absolutely silly.

Ok, enough jammering, on to the good stuff. Like I said, there’s going to be a lot, so I’ll try to be brief in each aspect.

Gameplay

I honestly like the new battle mechanics more than the old ones. This individual, turn based system feels way more dynamic and it’s easier to strategies in battles. Because nothing made me more angry than setting up for a heal and the enemy suddenly being faster than me and killing my healer. Now it’s easier to plan ahead a bit.

I also found myself experimenting more with the jobs. Not sure what it really is, but none of the party members leaning more towards certain types of jobs and the job leveling being way faster probably helped.

And I know some people get up in arms because the boss sometimes can be a real pain in the ass (looking at you pope dude), I still found it very interesting getting around counters or even using these counters as a benefit. As an example, I made Adelle my main physical fighter and gave her lots of counter abilities to help her profit from being countered by enemies themselves. Now, she can attack enemies, get countered, automatically evade that counter and earn a BP at the same time. Made a lot of boss fights way easier and fun to exploit.

Music

Ok, I will try my best to be really, really brief, because in my recording this part takes up almost 40 minutes. Anyways, Revo might have just become one of my absolute favorite composers ever. I don’t know what kind of magic he used, but I initially wasn’t that impressed with the OST, but every time I listened to it, I just fell in love harder and harder. Before getting into specifics, I wanna highlight the two things that made me love this OST overall. First of all, this soundtrack almost seems like a refinement of BD’s. While losing some of that fairytale vibe, it sounds even more fantasy now. And in contrast to the original, this almost sounds more balanced? Like, BD’s OST felt high energy throughout, BD2’s on the other hand manages to find a good balance between high and low energy pieces. Like, the character themes or battle themes are absolute hype, but the overworld themes are a lot calmer and easier to listen to while exploring. Second big point that makes this soundtrack amazing is that Revo is an absolute god at using emotional progression/storytelling and leitmotifs in his songs. And heck, do I love myself my leitmotifs. You’ve got some obvious ones, like the final battle theme in which all the character themes and other leitmotifs are integrated. Then you got some maybe more subtle once, just like how the overworld themes are just the main theme, just a lot calmer and using the lead instruments of the towns of the areas.

But my absolute favourites gotta be the character themes and the main theme. I love how fitting the themes for the characters are and in general, each of them is such a bop. At first I prefered Elvis’, because I sure am a sucker for jazzy vibes, but over time Adelle’s became my fav. It’s just something about the trumpets, and how the theme almost sounds a bit melancholic and bittersweet, that drew me in. And considering her story, mostly her bad end, that the bittersweet tone really fits.

Then there’s the main theme. Just like BD’s it shouts “triumphant anthem” and it definitely gives you a very familiar vibe, but I’d argue it has even better emotional progression. Heck, the first time I heard the music start up in the reveal trailer, I didn’t have to look at the screen to know this is gonna be a BD game. Also, the credit song version had me weeping at the true end. I’m someone who’s very easily affected by music (if me shouting about soundtracks on this blog wasn’t proof enough) and just hearing that ending song, getting the after credits scene, just for the second credits to start as a freaking duet. Dude, at that point I just started sobbing, I’m not gonna lie. Just this little part showed how much Revo knows how to put emotion in a song and also write it in such a way that he can elicit strong, emotional reactions from you too.

Story

People have been complaining how the story is too boring and kinda disappointing in comparison to the last one, but I just think the games tried to accomplish different things here. Since the BD series is a celebration of old, classic jrpgs, “cliche” storytelling is a given. Though, BD did throw a lot of meta stuff in there too. BD2 in contrast just feels like a direct execution of that initial idea. It feels familiar, it feels comfy and it feels safe. Except for the little things with the endings and then overwriting the Nexus’ “save file”, BD2 doesn’t really get that meta, which is totally fine. It doesn’t try to reinvent or innovate anything, it just wants to be a fantasy story, that might be cliche, but still fun and enjoyable in its own right.

I’d also argue that the pacing is a lot better than the old game, because with BD I sometimes found myself skipping through scenes to get on with the story. Not that this game didn’t have me rushing through stuff as well, but I found it kept my intrigue way better than the original.

Characters

Next to the music, this is the part that I absolutely love the most. While, yes, they did lose a lot of potential with some characters, mostly with the villains, the main cast is just so much fun. I love these 4 dorks so, so much.

I honestly can’t stand how much people compare them to the original cast. Yes, ofc, I’ve been doing my fair share of comparisons too, but calling these four a more boring version of BD’s party physically hurts me. Because except for some initial impressions, the Heroes of Light are completely different from our beloved Warriors of Light.

While yes, Seth and Gloria give off strong Tiz and Agnes vibes at first, they both grow into such different characters that they’re not really comparable. I think this shows with Adelle and Elvis even more. I do understand how people could compare Adelle and Edea, since they’re both the feisty girl type, but I can’t understand how people can see Ringabel and Elvis as the same character type. While those two are the “suave” party members, they act so differently from another. And that’s honestly apparent the first time you meet them.

Anyways, I love these 4 so much.

We technically don’t know a lot about Seth at all, but they manage to pull so much out of just the fact that he’s a sailor, that it makes him really endearing, really fast.

I was kinda disinterested with Gloria at first, because again, the initial impression was Agnés2.0, but she grew on me a lot. Gloria is way more hard headed and honestly sassy in comparison to Agnés and I absolutely adore it.

Elvis. Elvis, my man. I love this fantasy scottosh wizard so, so much. He’s such a ridiculous character but so endearing at the same time. You got all this dorkiness, with him setting himself on fire as a student, him doing god knows what for a good drink or just laughing danger and prejudice in the face. But then you got his super empathetic and caring side. Mind you, most of his wise moments come from quoting Lady Emma, but still, as much as he’s hopeless with certain social situations, he’s actually still really good at reading the room and playing things smart. He’s a smart and powerful idiot, which makes him a danger to everyone and himself, and I love him for it. (I also can’t believe they called him Lesley I MEAN COME ON)

And then there’s Adelle. I liked her from the start, but I didn’t think she would stick out to me. I think now she’s my favourite character. Not even talking about all the stuff that happens in chapter 3 and onward, because these story threads are awesome in their own right, but there’s just something about her personality that’s interesting and appealing to me. Like I said, I’m not surprised people compare her to Edea, I did too at first, but while Edea walks very close to the line of a Tsundere, I was really surprised that Adelle is, well, not a Tsundere at all. Yeah, of course she’s putting Elvis down a lot, but that stems more from her preventing his ego from going to his head than her being all embarrassed. No, Adelle is actually really well adjusted when it comes to communication. While it’s hilarious that she and Elvis met with her chucking her shoes at him, the two just got along well right from the start. Adelle in general has this really open and helpful personality, but also doesn’t shy away from putting her foot down, even if that sometimes comes out as an embarrassed sputter. She’s also the mother hen of the group. She looks out for the other three and gets concerned about them real fast.

I dunno, Adelle just really grew on me over the course of this game, and then her kinda being paired with Elvis too, as partners and as partners, makes me like her even more. Because as much as I like their personalities individually, I like their character dynamic even more. I honestly love the relationships between all four of them a lot. You really feel them grow closer as friends and all the little character sidequests just always made me really happy.

Conclusion

You might not believe me, but I really held back there. This could probably have been 3 times its length. As much as I love this game, it’s of course not perfect. It struggles and flails in some parts a lot and it certainly has some aspects that might turn people off. But for me, it was just a very familiar and comfy game that didn’t necessarily deliver anything new, but that told its story in such a way that it still got me excited to keep going. The soundtrack is absolutely amazing and the conclusion of the story actually got me to cry. While not groundbreaking, this game is highly enjoyable and leaves you absolutely satisfied at the end.

Also, I would like to iterate that I am desperate to get more content about this game, so if you wanna chat about it, hit me up.

Anyways, anyone else felt like having a fever dream when everybody in chapter 2 started talking fantasy scottish? Cos I sure did.

#bravely default #bravely default 2 #bd #bd2 #fanart #review #ramblings #seth #gloria #adelle #elvis #elvis lesley

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therenlover · 3 years

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In Fleeting Touches & Airy Sighs Chapter 3 Part 2 + Epilogue (A Helmut Zemo x Reader Fanfiction)

(Thank you to everyone who has joined me on this unexpected journey. If you’d like to start from the beginning, you can find Chapter One HERE)

Synopsis: At the end of the day, Helmut and his wife fall back together as they always do, and rediscover their intimacy in the wake of their past arguments with no more games left to play.

Tags: Smut, Fingering, Kisses, Neck Kisses, Married Sex, Soft Sex, The Morning After, Fluff, Banter, Excessive References To Old Literature, Wuthering Heights

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Explicit Smut, Swearing, Mentions of Alcoholism/Alcohol Withdrawals

Word Count: 10,500~

This work has been crossposted to my AO3!

------

The two of you stayed there for a moment, your heart alight with an almost childlike wonder as you relished in the pure bliss of your husband’s hand holding your own. It was as familiar as your own name and yet so new, so different than it had been before. Had he ever held your hand this tenderly? Or looked at you with such adoration? You couldn’t say for certain. Definitely not while you were so distracted by the romance of it all.

Still, all good things must come to an end, and after what could have been an eternity or a moment Helmut pressed one more kiss to your hand before lowering it back to the bed.

“Your trembling has stopped,” he muttered, more to himself than you, “that’s good. Are you still in pain? You could still take one more naproxen if you think it would be helpful,”

You shook your head. “No thank you. I think I’ll be fine for now,” Slowly, you stretched up, your joints cracking loudly as you yawned. Across the room, the clock on the wall ticked silently past 8 o’clock. Could it really be that late?

Helmut seemed amused by your little movements and mental musings. With a sweet smile, he leaned back in his chair. “Tired already?” He teased, but there was no fire in it. You didn’t have anything in you to make a funny quip with, so you opted for simply giving an honest nod. That was enough for him. He dimmed the bedside lamp a bit and picked up his novel once again before he spoke. “You can rest now, Schatz. I’ll be here if you need me,”

Then, nonchalant as can be, he opened up his book and started reading again.

It was a bit… strange, the idea of falling asleep while being watched, even if it was just by your husband. You settled into the sheets, but the thought of it irked you enough that you had to roll onto your side in the hopes that once he was out of sight you’d forget about him being there. It didn’t work. Then, you rolled onto your back thinking if you just closed your eyes, sleep would come eventually. That didn’t work either. You were quickly sat face to face with a conundrum: You couldn’t sleep.

Not in your current situation at least.

As if he could sense your discomfort, Helmut peered to you from above the pages of his book. “Are you reconsidering my offer for pain medication?” He asked.

You groaned. “No, I just can’t sleep. It’s weird being watched,”

Helmut watched over you with kind eyes. He didn’t set down his book as he watched you toss and turn until you finally rolled onto your side to face him, but he did tilt his head slightly as he studied your face. Once he was sure you weren’t in any pain, he gave a curt nod. There was something almost awkward and adolescent about the expression that crossed his face as he spoke.

“Are you… I’m sorry, would you rather I leave?”

The thought of being alone, even if it meant not being watched, made your stomach drop. You had spent so long wanting to fall asleep with Helmut at your side once again. To have him leave now, after everything you’d worked through? It felt like a massive step backward in comparison to all of the progress you’d made. That being said, him sitting at the edge of your bed like some sort of visitor at a hospital bed wasn’t what you wanted either.

No, you wanted him closer.

Needed him closer.

The only problem was that you had absolutely no idea of how to ask for what you wanted. It had always been so simple before. Ever since you had broken him out of the raft you had fallen into bed together exhausted every night with very few exceptions. There was no asking about it, you just did because that was what a married couple would do. That wasn’t even mentioning the nights you’d fall together after the throes of passion onto the nearest soft surface, fully satisfied and boneless and exhausted, but you didn’t want to think about those times. They brought a flush to your face and other places long neglected. You pushed the feeling down. It wouldn’t get you anywhere to be thinking of things like that in your current situation.

Back to the problem at hand, you started to think about if there was a possible, non-awkward way to ask Helmut to lay with you.

After a minute you became acutely aware that there wasn’t.

He was still waiting for an answer though, dark eyes watching you with an intent care and fascination as you struggled to sort through your thoughts, ever patient and careful with you. From your position on your side you had to tilt your head up slightly to see him fully upright in the lamplight but it didn’t matter much. He was still stunning, even sideways. Slowly, you took a deep breath. “I want you to stay, it’s just a little weird to have you watching over me like that,”

The words were soft and delicate in the moonlight. Helmut, thankfully, took them at face value and nothing more. He was still wearing that same strange expression from before, awkward but not painfully so, as his eyes flitted around the dark room. “You… last night and the night before you woke up a lot, inconsolable and vomiting. I didn’t want you to choke or make too much of a mess, so it was easier to sit up and watch you, just in case,”

“Oh,” Your soft lips parted as your heart fluttered, “I’m sorry, I guess? And thank you? I don’t know quite what the right response to that is,”

“There’s no need to apologize, it’s nothing, and I don’t need thanks either. I’m not doing anything any other decent husband wouldn’t do,”

“Well, you’re only halfway decent, so I’d consider this a win,”

Helmut laughed then, something low and throaty that made your chest feel fuzzy and heavy with warmth. “Touché, Schatzi. Now try to sleep? You need your rest,”

You obliged him once again, letting your head hit the pillow. Your eyes remained open, though, as you admired his features in the darkness. He hadn’t shaved properly in a few days and it was obvious from the dark stubble forming on his cheeks and chin, but you didn’t mind it. In fact, you found it incredibly endearing. His turtleneck looked thick and soft as it hugged every plane of his soft chest. Even his face, furrowed in slight concentration as he found his sentence once again and began to read, looked sweet in the lamplight, framed by unkempt locks of his chestnut hair that had fallen out of their usually precariously kempt style. He looked like an angel there, illuminated from the side while his eyes flitted back and forth down the page.

Part of you yearned to reach out and touch him, because at that moment he seemed far too beautiful and idealized to be real.

After a moment, though, his eyes met yours again. You spoke before he had a chance to offer pain medication a third time.

“What are you reading?”

He regarded you with a practiced gentleness. This was a game all its own that you were both intimately familiar with, and it was much more fun than the ones you usually found yourselves playing. Helmut loved his books, but he never read one without reason. You were curious to see what he found appropriate for the occasion.

“Wuthering Heights,”

A small grin spread across your face as heat rushed to your cheeks. “Really? How morbid,”

“If you think this is morbid, you should have seen me last night,” he chuckled, “I was still neck-deep in Anna Karenina until the early hours of the morning. It did nothing for my nerves,” Somehow, his accent seemed thicker as he rolled the title gently on his tongue. If you closed your eyes, you could see the scene in your mind; Helmut watching you intently in the darkness as you shook, his eyes flitting back nervously to the words on the page before darting back to you again as he read of love and infidelity and death… it was almost too much to bear in the best of ways.

“What will you read next?”

Helmut paused, but his decision came quick. “Pride and Prejudice, I think,”

“How fitting,” you hummed, “I like Pride and Prejudice,”

“As do I, Schatz. As do I,”

The two of you sat with that silently for a moment as you took in a deep breath of cool nighttime air. Outside, you could hear the soft sound of distant passing cars in the darkness, but that did little to soothe the thoughts now racing through your head and making your heart beat faster. Suddenly, and without deliberation, you acted with your heart alone and not your mind.

“Helmut?” you called softly into the darkness.

He lifted his eyes from his book without a hint of annoyance at your repeated interruptions. “Yes?”

Suddenly, your throat felt very tight. “Do you remember the last night we spent in Berlin?”

“Of course I do,” he hummed, but he offered you nothing more to work with. Trembling slightly from the effort, you tried again.

“You read to me that night and it helped with the nightmares. Do you think…” your voice petered off, but came back stronger when you steadied yourself again, grounding yourself in the warmth of Helmut’s eyes, “do you think you could read to me again?”

The smile he offered you was brilliant and kind.

“I would like nothing more,”

With a bit of adjusting, Helmut scooted to the front of his chair so that his knees brushed the edge of the bed. You stared spellbound up at him. If you reached out, just the smallest bit, you would be able to rest a hand on the warmth of his leg and relish in the feeling of his soft dress pants. Still, it wouldn’t be enough. You needed to be even closer, surrounded by him, entirely engulfed by the warmth and strength and scent of him.

“Do you believe such people are happy in the other world sir?” Helmut began, reading aloud in a voice reserved for you and you alone in these incredibly rare moments, “I’d give great deal to-”

“No,”

Helmut looked up from the novel with a soft ‘hm’ of confusion.

“I-'' you stuttered, “I want you to lay with me while you read, like you did back then,” His eyes lit up and his cheeks flushed as you floundered for some sort of excuse or placation that would explain your sudden boldness. “You don’t have to! I just… I thought it might be nice. If it’s not, that’s more than okay, I didn't mean to upset you. I guess what I’m trying to-”

“Shhh, Schatz. You’re okay,”

At the sound of Helmut’s soft reassurance, your heart slowed down a bit from its jackhammer rhythm against your chest. What? He was… agreeing? Slowly, he stood from his chair and rounded the bed before sitting on the opposite edge. You had to roll over to watch him go, but when he finally sat you reached a hand out to him, which he took into his own without a hint of hesitation.

“It’s not good to work yourself up like this,” he cooed as he toed off his shoes and socks, moving them away with his free hand. “I’m still your husband, just as you are still my wife. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be held,” Your cheeks burned with shame, but somehow you didn’t feel like he was chiding you. He slipped below the sheets then, resting his back on the headboard and beckoning you forward to rest on him. You were scrambling towards his warmth before he had to say another word.

Then, you were finally safe.

There, with your cheek pressed flush against his chest and your arms wrapped tight around his middle, you breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed for the first time in… well, since you could remember really. He chuckled, but you didn’t notice. No, you were far too busy enjoying your newfound warmth. Your limbs were trembling a bit again, but not from your withdrawals. Instead, you seemed to have so much love running through your veins that you just couldn’t manage to keep still. Slowly, you swung your bare leg over Helmut’s clothed one before interlocking them to ensure your closeness.

Helmut smiled down at you and pressed a kiss to your forehead as he smoothed down your hair with one hand and re-opened his book with the other. “Now where were we? Ah, yes. Here we are. Do you believe such people are happy in the other world, sir? I’d give a great deal to know,”

You tuned out his words quickly, instead opting to focus on the timbre and lilt of his tone as he made his way down the page. There was a lightness to it, an honesty that came with reading words that came from another’s mind and not his own. There was no room for bartering when he read, no way to twist the sentiments of the author into his own narrative. Instead, he spoke plainly and often from the heart. You liked to think that was why he spent so much time choosing the books he read. They were, for him, a beacon of clean, clear-cut honesty to cling to even as his brain fought to deceive himself and everyone around him.

As he continued, though, you did notice something strange.

Your husband, especially when focused on a task like reading, wasn’t one to let his mind wander. If he wanted to do something he would simply do it without hesitation. Needless to say, it was also very difficult to distract him once he got fully invested in something. That being said, as he turned the page and continued to speak, his voice seemed to be losing its focused intensity by the second. He also was squirming. Well, no, squirming wasn’t quite the word for it, but he couldn’t seem to get comfortable below you. It was clearly not the weight of your body that bothered him though, nor was it the temperature of the room. Only when you shifted your leg up slightly and heard his breath hitch roughly in his throat did you notice the growing hardness in his pants.

Oh.

There was something almost giddy about knowing that you could still affect him the same way you always had, even while half delirious with sleep and suffering through one malady or another, and while a small part of you grew nervous at the thought of reuniting with Helmut like that for the first time since your initial argument all those months ago, on the whole, every nerve in your body was longing to feel him against you again. You smiled softly at the discovery. Some things truly never changed.

As you determined the best way to go about initiating something, you tuned back into his words again. His voice was still sweet and low with his heavenly accent cutting through the old language in a way that made butterflies erupt from your stomach down towards your newly aching core, and yet there was an inconsistency to it.

“She lies with a sweet smile on her face,” he muttered, breath hitching slightly once again as he blinked, long and hard in the darkness, “and her latest ideas wandered back to pleasant early days. Her life closed in a gentle dream - may she wake as kindly in the other world,” As he finished his sentence he looked down from the page to you, prone against the broadness of his chest. His pupils were blown wide with lust in the yellow lamplight and, after a moment struck mute, he licked his lips. “Schatz-,”

“Don’t stop now,” you breathed into the darkness, “we’ve only just gotten to the best part,” Slowly you rose from your place slotted against him. The loss of contact was difficult for you both, but you quickly amended the issue by placing a hand flat against his upper thigh. It was so close to his growing length and yet so far away at the same time.

Helmut regarded the digits with a sure disbelief and mild amusement. “Don’t stop what?”

“Reading,”

Somehow the word sounded obscene as it dripped syrupy and saccharin from your lips. You leaned in closer now, close enough that you could feel the heat radiating off your husband’s body as his gaze flickered down to your mouth. Despite your words, though, Helmut was quick to mark his page and reach to set the book down on the dresser beside his side of the bed.

“Do you want me?” he gulped, letting himself brush his fingertips ever so lightly against the bottom hem of your sleep shorts. “I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t, after everything,”

You replied with a question of your own:

“Do I look like I don’t want you?”

He was quick to shake his head. It was his turn now to steady himself. “I’ve yearned for you every day since I left,” he whispered, and you could feel the heat of his breath on your lips from the proximity alone, “I never should have gone, Schatzchen. Not then and not before. To be without you is torture. I’ve wasted so much precious time...”

You replied with a simple, breathless, “Kiss me,”

Who would he be to deny you?

With the slightest of smiles, he leaned in and captured your lips with his own.

You had kissed him hundreds, probably thousands of times and yet you never got over the feel of his mouth against your own. Hot and wet and always ever so slightly minty from the small, sweet lozenges he kept in his right breast pocket, it laid claim to you. When you kissed him, there was nothing except him and him and him for eternity. You never considered yourself much of a wordsmith, your talents were elsewhere, and yet you could write sonnets about the bliss that came only when you connected in these brief, close moments of peace.

There were no threats here, not now. There was only Helmut, with his dark eyes and wild hair pulling away from you just long enough to breathe in the darkness of the room before dragging you back in to kiss him again.

Time had no bearing on you then. You could have been sitting there and kissing him for hours, your soft hands gently exploring each other once again but never daring to touch where the other wanted to be touched more than anything. Eventually, though, Helmut pulled away for a meaningful period of time, letting his forehead rest gently against your own as you both breathed heavily, hands finding each other blindly to clasp together in your lap.

When you felt like you were finally grounded to your body again, you chuckled softly, paying careful attention to the way the dim light accentuated the soft blondes and reds hidden in your husband’s brown hair.

“What is it?” he cooed in the darkness, “What could you possibly be laughing at now,”

“I thought I asked you to keep reading, Baron. You stopped at my favorite part. How am I supposed to focus on this when all I’ll be able to focus on is that once we’re done, I’ll finally get to hear what Heathcliff has to say,”

Helmut didn’t respond to your gentle ribbing, not at first. Instead, he leaned back in for one last fleeting kiss before letting his hands rest at the bottom edge of your sweater, bunching up the excess fabric. You assisted him in removing it by pulling your arms from the sleeves as he lifted it over your head. Then, you were finally semi-bare before him.

The cool, dark, nighttime air felt frigid in comparison to the almost burning heat of Helmut’s hands as he ran them down your sides. It made you shiver. That being said, it was nothing in comparison to the full-body tremble he evoked a moment later when he leaned in close to your ear with a sinful smile.

“May she wake in torment,” he quoted softly. The sound of it, so lewd and yet so refined, only added to the wetness between your legs. It didn’t help that his hands had moved on to find purchase on your breasts. He took a nipple between his fingers, rolling it ever just so as he continued. “Why she’s a liar to the end,”

Distantly, you just barely had enough complex thought to marvel at the fact that your husband had memorized your favorite passage from Wuthering Heights. It didn’t surprise you in the least. The last thing that crossed your mind before it clouded fully with lust was that there was something so tender in Helmut’s eyes when he looked at you that you just couldn’t bear it. It wasn’t long after that, though, that Helmut let one of his hands creep under the elastic waist of your shorts to cup your mound and you lost all ability to think about anything other than his soft voice and the feeling of his hands on your skin.

He touched you as if he knew you, and he did. You had known him carnally in more ways than could be counted. Though a bit rough with time, his fingers fell easily into their usual rhythm as muscle memory took over. He relished in dragging you to the edge in a way only he knew how to, and for the first time in months, you let him.

“Where is she? Not there,” he purred against your cheek as his fingers caught just so against your nub. You arched into his touch without a thought. “Not in heaven,” Slowly, his mouth departed from your face. He trailed wet kisses down the sensitive column of your throat, and yet he never broke from his steady rhythm of stroking down your wetness before letting his fingers come back up to circle your clit.

“Not perished,” As Helmut paused, he sucked a deep purple bruise into the soft nook where your neck met your chin, “Where?”

It had been so long. So long since you’d been with him, since you’d touched yourself. You could do little more than cling to him and gasp his name as he played you like a well-tuned fiddle.

He delighted in the feeling of your fingers in his hair, yanking at the nape of his neck and urging him lower and lower as he continued to bring you towards completion. In all honesty, he was smitten with you, and anyone who saw him as he was in that moment, wide-eyed and slack-jawed at just the sight of your pleasure, would know it. Still, his devotion was lost on you, especially in your current position.

That was fine by Helmut.

As long as you were happy, he would be too.

“Oh! You said you cared nothing for my sufferings!”

“Helmut!” You gasped low and sweet and right as he nipped at your collarbone.

The grin that you found when you met his eyes again didn’t do anything to help you put your mind back together, nor did it prepare you for two of his thick fingers to suddenly breach your sopping wet entrance. He paused then, searching your face for any signs of discomfort or hesitance, but he was only greeted by pure and utter bliss on your end.

Good. That was his goal.

With a soft tug to his hair, he was off to the races again.

“And I pray one prayer,” His mouth was on your breast now. Your hips canted and bucked to meet the quickening thrusts of his digits, which were curled ever so slightly and dragged at that rough right spot inside you with every push and pull. “I repeat it till my tongue stiffens,”

Then, suddenly, his eyes found yours again, and you felt you might perish then and there from the pure ecstasy of it.

“Y/N L/N, may you not rest as long as I am living!”

His fingers dragged across your sweet spot once again.

“Helmut, darling-”

Your voice was a stunted wail against his quiet, sure tone.

“You said I killed you - haunt me, then!”

His mouth was on your peaked nipple, your throat, your collarbone.

“Darling I’m so close-”

“The murdered do haunt their murderers,”

You were climbing, soaring, flying.

Higher, higher, higher…

“I believe,” he faltered for a moment. It was all too raw, all too real. God, how you loved him. “I know that ghosts have wandered on earth,”

You were up on your knees now, and Helmut had followed you up. He held the weight of your body on his clothed chest as he added a third finger. If you thought you had reached the heights of pleasure before, you had broken all the way through the ceiling, up through the sky, and into heaven now. Words dissolved on your tongue as spittle dripped warm from your open mouth down to the messy sheets below.

Suddenly, though, in the heat of it all, there was a tenderness.

The hand that had come to wander your body and assist Helmut’s mouth when it was preoccupied came to cup the back of your head and hold your gaze to him, keep you a captive audience to the way he looked at you; full of lust and love and adoration of the basest most human kind.

“Be with me always,” he urged, and the words were his . There was no more Heathcliff in them than there was Brontë or Austen or Tolstoy. “Take any form,” Tears, big and fat and wet dripped down your cheeks at the sight of it. This was your husband. Husband . Oh, the wonder of such a little word! How had you gotten so lucky? You feared you’d never know. All you truly knew was the sound of his voice as he drove his fingers into you with a mad fervor. “Drive me mad! Only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you!”

Finally, your words seemed to return as you soared to your completion.

“Always!”

It was a wail. A cry in the dark. A promise.

“Oh, God!”

“Oh, God! It is unutterable!”

Just two more lines.

“Helmut, please,”

Something inside of you was breaking by the second as you clung to him.

“I cannot live without my life!”

“Yes, yes, yes-”

“I cannot live without my soul!”

He crooked his fingers just so.

You snapped at the finality of it all.

Wordlessly you spasmed against him, hands clinging to every single part you could find purchase on. His neck, his arms, his back; you only had half the mind enough to kiss him as he pulled you through, never stopping his steady rhythm of thrusts. He kissed you back just as eagerly and wiped your tears with his free hand while he did. How could he be so perfect and fucked-up and yours?

You didn’t think to ask.

Instead, you rode through your bliss before slumping bonelessly into the arms of your husband, smiling and crying and utterly alive.

What a gift it was to be human, short life notwithstanding.

You had almost forgotten that.

After a moment, Helmut slowed his ministrations. He pulled his slick fingers from your body and out of your sweat-soaked sleep shorts and all the way up to his mouth, where he deposited them and sucked the remnants of your release off of the pruned digits. You would have considered it extremely sexy if you weren’t still recovering from a leg-shaking orgasm to end all orgasms. Instead, you just laughed weakly as he removed his fingers from between his lips with a wet slurp and wiped the excess spit onto the sheets.

“How the hell did you manage to remember all that?” You finally asked, nudging him softly in the side as he chuckled above you, settling down once again against the headboard.

He shrugged before he replied. “During my incarceration, I had nothing more than the books you sent me and my own mind. After discovering that particularly filthy annotation you included in my copy of Wuthering Heights, I found I was eager to reread the highlighted paragraph quite often. With time and repetition, the words simply remained,”

You held him closer to you in the darkness.

Outside, the crickets were still singing their sweet song to the sleeping world, dancing along the wisterias and honeysuckles down in the yard, planted long ago with love and care to be pressed and sent along in the very books Helmut had previously mentioned.

“It’s a shame you had to leave it behind when James broke you out. I put a lot of effort into my notes,”

“Take a closer look, Schatz,”

His words were an incentive that provided enough energy for you to just barely push yourself up from his chest on shaking limbs. Sure enough, though, and true to his word, the copy of Wuthering Heights sitting on the dresser beside you was the same well-loved copy you had mailed to him in his first months of imprisonment.

“You never miss a single detail, do you?” You asked, incredulous. He answered you with a simple kiss.

“Do you want to get cleaned up? I could run you a bath,”

The question had your mind wandering to the luscious jetted bathtub in your ensuite bathroom, sitting unused as it had for months in the wake of your fight with Helmut. Perhaps the memories of your endless trysts in that very tub would no longer haunt you as they had before. Despite the temptation of it, though, you had other plans.

“Helmut,” your voice was barely a whisper as you brought your hand to cup him through his pants, “you didn’t get to finish yet,”

Despite the way his breath hitched in his throat, he shook his head. “You’re tired, Schatz, and I will be fine to wait for another occasion. This was about you,”

Excuses, excuses.

You tutted softly as your hand wandered towards his belt.

He made no move to stop you.

“I’ve missed you so much,” The admission escaped you in a breathless sigh. You needed him. Needed to see him, to feel him, to connect with him, trembling hands and aching head be damned! Helmut seemed to understand that because as you released him from his belt and unzipped his pants he busied himself with removing his turtleneck. “Every night, I swear I thought of you every night while you were away. I would lay here alone and close my eyes and hope, so foolishly, that when I woke up you’d be right there beside me again,”

Shuffling out of his slacks, he discarded them haphazardly into the darkness of the room along with his boxers. “Lay down, Schatzi. I’ll take you if you’ll have me,” His words were tender in the night. You did as you were told. In the yellow glow of the old filament bulb, you could see his proud cock, thick and leaking, and it made you want. For what you didn’t know, but you wanted. You needed.

You yearned.

The yearning didn’t last for long, though. There were no games to be played that might make your husband taunt you or force you to work for your pleasure. It had been far too long for that. Instead, you lifted your hips and let Helmut pull the soaked sleep shorts from your legs to deposit them with the other clothes. Then, you were both laid bare.

There was no need for words past that point.

Helmut lined himself up with your opening and, gazing down into your soul, pressed each and every inch of himself into you as he groaned like a man possessed. You clung to him, bringing your arms up around his shoulders, and for a moment the two of you stayed put, connected and completed in a way only the two of you ever could be. Languid kisses were shared. You passed them back and forth like secrets from wet and swollen lips. Only after an eternity when you dragged your pelvis up the slightest bit to grind against him did he move once more.

When he pulled himself from your wetness, just about halfway, he did so with the same slow precision he entered with. You wouldn’t have had it any other way.

There was no desperation to it like there had been when he got you off, no fast-paced need driving you together in frantic breathless shouts. Instead, Helmut kept his pace slow and deliberate. It was like he wanted to memorize the feel of every inch of your body, inside and out. So, he took a snail’s pace as he worked you open below him.

The lack of speed didn't mean there was a lack of passion, though.

Oh no, you both possessed passion in spades and it reflected in the breathy moans that filled the chamber of your shared room. Your room. Your bed. Your home. The thought of it brought you closer to the edge by the minute.

In that darkness, lit by your little lamp and the light of the brilliant moon outside, you could pretend things were different and yet the same. Helmut was simply a businessman who traveled often. You were his little wife. The home was cheery and filled with light, and he would come home to you every weekend with a smile on his face and flowers in his hands. There was no danger lurking in every corner, nor was there the threat or separation at every turn. Instead, you could leave your house freely to buy groceries or visit the Sunday market in the city square down the road. Things were happy. You weren’t going to die.

Oh god, you were going to die.

It was a fact you both knew, now, and had accepted. Your fate was sealed the second you chose to stay at his side all those years ago. Still, it was all approaching so very quickly, you barely had any time left to prepare.

Despite it all, though, you had this time.

You had this moment in the darkness where you could wail and moan and cling to your husband without fear. He had you in his arms and under his chest and filled oh so good with his cock and for just a second, just a sweet blissful tick of the clock, you could forget. You both could. So you did.

Your second orgasm didn’t come on in a steep climb like the first.

No, it crept up on you without you even knowing it was coming. Helmut fucked into you good and slow and deep for an eternity before you felt those telltale jolts of pleasure urging you towards your end. He felt it too, felt it in the way you tightened around him and arched your back when he pulled back only to push into your heat once again.

There were no words. You didn’t ask for permission. Instead, you just let yourself fall into a pit of your own pleasure as you kissed Helmut and clung to his hips with hands that left bruises in their wake. He followed quickly behind. In the wake of it all, his return and your seizure and the fight and your recoupling, you felt a bone-deep ache of heartache and peace. Then, Helmut pressed a kiss to your forehead and collapsed beside you, pulling the sheets over the both of you and wrapping you in his strong arms. The skin on skin contact was divine.

“Your doctor is going to be very cross with us,” he muttered into the crook of your neck.

You let your fingers dance lightly down his back, slick with sweat, as you chuckled. “Let them be cross, then. I needed you. Besides, you started it,”

He nodded against you. Slowly, you both shifted to a more comfortable position. Helmut laid his head on the pillow, propped up against the headboard, while you opted to use his chest as a pillow instead, running a finger through his chest hair and looking up at him with tired eyes. “I will take full responsibility for my actions,” he said softly, “both recent and past,”

“I’m still mad at you, you know,”

“As you should be, Schatz, I’ve been a poor husband and partner as of late,”

“But you’ll stay now, right?” Your voice was more uncertain than it should have been as your husband reached for the dresser once more, retrieving his book.

Helmut met your gaze and nodded ever so slightly in the darkness.

“I will be beside you from now until I draw my final breath. Now sleep, Schatzchen. You’ll still have me when you wake,”

Slowly you let your eyes drift closed. You were pretty tired out… Wrapping an arm around his soft stomach, you murmured softly up to your husband. “I love you, Helmut,”

“And I love you, Y/N,” he replied, and as you drifted to sleep you could still hear his soft voice, ebbing and flowing with the breeze and cricket song in the nighttime.

“He dashed his head against the knotted trunk; and, lifting up his eyes, howled…”

“What is it with you and bathtubs,” You chuckled, sitting on the lid of the toilet as Zemo straightened out his well-gelled hair in the mirror. Beside you, the body of a man sat bloody in the tub as rigor mortis set in.

Helmut shrugged. “I don’t like to leave behind a mess for those unfortunate enough to find the bodies,”

His words were heavy, but that didn’t stop you from humming an upbeat tune idly as you watched him work. In the end, you had been the one to land the killing blow on… well, whoever was now starting to smell as his bodily fluids crept towards the drain. You didn’t care much about him enough to remember his name. No, not while you could be watching Helmut with an intent fascination. He hadn’t trusted you with his plans, not fully, but that didn’t mean you weren’t going to try to figure out what they were by watching the minute twitches of his muscles as he gazed at himself through the thin glass.

If there was one thing in the world you were good at besides killing, it was deciphering your traveling companion’s expression. He looked… tired.

“We’re reaching the end of the line, aren’t we?” You asked.

The words made him pause, catching your eyes in the mirror, but he surprisingly answered you straight.

“Yes, my plans are almost complete,” he hummed, turning to face you, “The Soldat will be moved into his cell to be evaluated tomorrow. I shall assume Mr. Broussard’s identity and, if everything goes according to plan, I shall be traveling to Serbia from there to kill the remaining super soldiers and stage the final fight between Iron Man and Captain America,”

You leaned forward from your perch on the toilet lid, letting your legs sprawl out towards the wall. “So that’s it? Just one more day and it’s done?”

He repeated your words; an affirmation.

“Just one more day and it’s done,” his eyes remained glued to you as you laughed lightly, leaning back to let your head rest against the cool wall behind you. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” you snorted, “I’m just trying to figure out where you’ll drown me now that the bathtub is already in use. The sink?”

The look that crossed Helmut's face was between amusement and disgust as he let one small huff of laughter escape from between his lips. Slowly, he closed the small gap between you and leaned against the opposite wall. From his new position, you could see all of him more clearly. The rough beginnings of stubble on his chin, the bloodstains on his sweater, the way his hands fidgeted nervously at the edges of his pockets; everything about him was endearing. You had to remind yourself that both of you would be dead in a few days to push down the burgeoning feelings that began to bloom in your chest.

Besides, Helmut was still in love with his wife. If he wasn’t, you wouldn’t be sitting in a cheap hotel bathroom with him and a corpse in the first place. Still, it wasn’t terrible to have fantasies. You were a woman, after all, a woman with needs you were sure Helmut would understand. Distantly you were glad you’d be dead before you had to part ways with him. If it was a choice, you weren’t sure you’d ever choose to leave him.

“About that,” Helmut said, low and sweet. He licked his lips after he spoke. If you didn’t know him better you would have assumed he was nervous. About what, you had no idea. Then it hit you.

“You’re not going to kill me, are you?”

As Helmut nodded, you took note that it was the first time you had ever seen someone look ashamed for choosing not to commit murder. He gulped down a breath before he began his attempts to explain. “I try not to kill without reason. The deaths of those innocents at the UN are already weighing on me more heavily than I anticipated. It’s only a precaution, but I fear that if I killed you, the guilt would eat at me enough that it might interfere with my mission,”

“Mhm,” your response, a low hum, came with a slow nod that told him you were far from convinced with his reasoning. “It’s a real shame you dragged me all the way to Berlin just to make me find my own way home. I wish I would have known I was making it out of this alive. Maybe I would have remembered to grab my wallet before we left the house,”

“That is another thing I wish to talk to you about,”

You raised your eyebrows in mild disbelief. “There’s more?”

Helmut nodded. His formerly nervous expression was now replaced with a loose smile. Well, as loose as it could be on the face of a former colonel and current terrorist.

“We’re both aware that I will not be making it out of this little escapade alive. Now, I wanted to thank you somehow for your assistance, and I figured leaving you a monetary endowment of some kind would be a good way to repay you,”

“How much are we talking?” Without even noticing it you leaned forwards towards him. He grinned all the while, wolflike and half-mad. You adored it. Adored him.

“At least one million euros,”

Your jaw dropped.

“I’ve gotten in contact with my butler and have taken the liberty of purchasing you another hotel room across town, far from where the Winter Soldier will be set loose. You can check in any time after noon and stay there for up to a week. If you choose to accept my offer, my butler will meet you on the seventh day of your stay with the money, papers to create a new identity, and free transport to wherever you want to go. After that, should you want it, you will receive monthly payouts to help pay for any bills or extra expenses after you get the lump sum. Now, if you’d like something a bit more… permanent, I could also arrange for an extra few million to be delivered in cash up front for you to purchase a house. You will be free of your past, free of everything that has bound you. You can start over and live like any other person. Does that seem like something you’d be interested in?”

Before you could even speak you had launched yourself into Helmut’s arms. He smelled warm, like cedarwood and mint and fresh-pressed linens as you clung to him like a lifeline. There were no words you could say to express your gratitude, nothing you could do to beg him to change his mind and stay. You just held him there, close as you could manage to, as you smiled into his chest.

You were free.

“I assume that’s a yes?” He asked. His voice was almost a coo as he finally wrapped his arms around you and reciprocated the affection. The motion caught you by surprise. You didn’t mention it, though, not when you were so deeply entrenched in the feeling of his pulse soaring under your ear.

“A million times yes,”

“I’m glad,” he whispered, “It will give me solace to know you’ll be taken care of. Now, where will you go? What will you do? I want to hear it all. I need to know what I’ll miss once we’ve parted ways,”

You let an almost goofy grin cross your lips. “I’ll retire, buy a little house somewhere in the middle-of-nowhere France with cash, and spend the rest of my days on this earth living in delicious sin. There’ll be no more killing, just cooking and cleaning and painting. I might take up watercolors again. Maybe I’ll even stop by the castle on my way and grab that big painting of you as a token to remember you by,”

Helmut cringed beneath your cheek. “You wouldn’t,”

“I would,” you quipped back, “and I will! I’ll hang it right in the middle of the living room so all of my guests have to pay homage to the man who set me free,” The fact that you wanted to see his face every day as you sat on his couch went without saying. It was simply implied. Helmut seemed to gloss over that fact entirely.

“What will you tell them about me?”

“That you were a good man. A dear friend. Someone who left the world too soon after doing what had to be done,”

“Is that a promise?”

“Absolutely,”

As you breathed him in, Helmut became fully aware of just how close the two of you were, pushed tightly against the off-white wall of the bathroom as the smell of lemon cleaner just barely masked the sweet rot of death. If he minded, it didn’t show. You only pulled away from him when a soft knock on the door of the main room broke you from your reverie.

“That’s breakfast,” you muttered, “I’ll keep her from coming in,”

“You do that,” Helmut replied, but he hesitated before turning back to the mirror. “Y/N?” He called softly.

“Yes?”

“If I don’t get another chance to say it, thank you for everything. I won’t forget the kindness you’ve paid me,”

“Neither will I,”

“Will you stay with me till the end?”

“Always,”

Morning came quickly.

Not quick enough for your rest to feel unsatisfying, but still too fast. There would never be a period of time spent in Helmut’s arms that felt like it lasted long enough. In the end, though, you woke feeling a full-body warmth from the tips of your toes to the top of your head.

There was no blaring alarm to rouse you this time, no spasms wracking you and dragging you out of your peace, there was only the soft chirping of birds and the gentle humming of the air conditioning unit as your eyes fluttered open and your arms stretched out to the bed beside you to find… nothing.

You paused.

After a moment of adjustment, you found that your eyes agreed with your hands. Helmut was gone.

Even in the worst heat of the fight the night before, you had never felt quite as upset as you did in that moment while realizing he had left you again. Tears pricked at your eyes. How could he? After all of his promises, he had left you alone the same way he had before. Knowing his schedule, he’d be long gone by now; off the runway and up in the air if not already on the ground at his next destination. The only thing that kept you from bursting into an angry choked sob was the sound of the bedroom door creaking open.

You clutched the sheets to your bare chest expecting one of your guests. Then, Helmut stepped into the bedroom.

What? He had stayed?

Your heart thundered in your chest at the sight of him.

He smiled broadly, with the sleeves of his striped cotton button-up bunched at his elbows and a dirty dishrag in his hands. His voice was soft and tender as he approached. Everything about him seemed so domestic that it almost brought you to tears all over again. “Schatz!” he cooed, reaching the edge of the bed, “did you sleep well?”

Nodding mutely, you offered a wet smile.

“I’m glad,” he said. One of his large hands found yours, still knotted up in the soft fabric of the sheets. The silver wedding band on his ring finger gleamed brightly in the soft daylight. “I hoped I could be here when you woke, but Sam and James requested breakfast and I didn’t want to wake you up quite yet. You seemed peaceful,”

“I was,” you let yourself lean into his touch and smiled when he pressed a chaste kiss to your forehead, “I am,”

Helmut sighed. “What I wouldn’t give to be able to crawl back into bed with you and enjoy that peace. Unfortunately, I still have to finish cutting up fruit downstairs. I just wanted to make sure you were doing well when I found a minute to sneak away,”

“Well, I appreciate it,” your voice was light as you brought up your free hand to Helmut’s collar and pulled him down for a proper kiss.

He fell into the familiar rhythm with practiced ease. It was brief, just a momentary press of the lips, but it made your heart beat just a little quicker when you felt him against you, warm and real and solid. As soon as it began, though, it was over, and Helmut was pulling back with a smile. All the while, he never let go of your hand. The two of you sat silent for a while, happy to just relish in the feeling of being together, but a clang from downstairs urged a deep sigh from your husband as he finally stepped away. You hated to see him go.

“Duty calls,” He chuckled, accent thick, “Do you think that was James or Sam?”

You nodded softly. “My money’s on Bucky, but knowing what I do about those two it was probably both of their faults. You’d better go survey the damage before they break anything else,”

“I suppose I should,” Helmut paused, turning back to you with his hand on the doorknob. “Will you join us downstairs for breakfast? Or would you rather I bring you up something to eat once I finish entertaining our guests,”

It took a moment for you to respond.

There was a certain safety to remaining in bed. Helmut would be sure to return as quickly as he possibly could, doting on you once again with the same soft vulnerability. You would probably even be able to pull him back into bed with you if you waited long enough. Getting a few more hours of holding him would be a luxury, one rarely afforded even when things between the two of you weren’t rocky. Something, though, urged you towards the other option. Maybe it was the quiet aching in your legs or the urge to see if your husband was able to keep his commitment to bettering your relationship outside of your bedroom, there was no knowing, but the universe wanted what it wanted, and what it wanted was for you to get out of bed.

“You make leaving our room seem like I’m exploring some wild, new frontier,” you snorted, throwing your legs over the edge of the bed. You both ignored your nakedness, though Helmut’s eyes did linger on the swell of your breast as you stood. “But yeah, I should probably get up. I need to clean up anyway, after… well,” you gestured to the mess of dried slickness between your legs, “all that,”

Despite the fact that you had been married to Helmut for over a year and had known him much longer, there was a bashfulness in your regarding of the events from the past night. It might have had something to do with the absolutely caddish grin on his face as he beheld the reminder, though.

“I’ll set you your usual place at the counter,” he said, watching you wander over to the closet like some bare goddess in the morning sunlight. Before slipping away back downstairs, though, he indulged you with a sweet “I love you, Schatz. I’ll await your arrival downstairs eagerly,” Then, he was gone, having closed the door behind him and retreated back down the stairs to deal with whatever nonsense Sam and Bucky had gotten up to in his absence.

You giggled softly to yourself.

Sure, your head still ached slightly and there was a tremor in your hands that wouldn’t quite go away, but for the first time in months, you had hope. The sun seemed to shine extra brightly thanks to that fact. Inside the walk-in closet, Helmut’s cologne was once again just cologne, light and pleasant as you gathered up a soft t-shirt and some sweatpants. After some deliberation, you grabbed another one of his awful thrifted sweaters too.

It didn’t take long for you to take a quick shower next. You washed away the evidence of your coupling under the warm spray, and as you did, something told you that you’d be doing a lot of that in the future. The water was heaven on your aching limbs. About 15 minutes later, you were dry, dressed, and patting the dampness from your hair on the edge of the bed.

Beside you, the nightstand was almost entirely cleared off. At some point in the night Helmut had taken away the tray with the long-forgotten toast, but in its place sat your wedding ring. It seemed to stare up at you with a gaze all too human. The decision wasn’t an easy one to make, far from it actually, but as you pulled on your husband’s sweater you grabbed the ring and slipped it back onto your finger where it belonged, and where you hoped it would stay into the distant future.

With one last deep breath, you made your way out the door and down the stairs to find out exactly what your guests had gotten up to in your absence.

You heard them before you saw them.

“I said cube, James,” Zemo groaned from the kitchen, “not slice. Mangos are best enjoyed cubed,”

Sam chimed in next. “Dude, it’s just fruit! Does it really matter which way he slices it?”

“Maybe if you cared so much about how your fruit was cut up,” James added, “you could do it yourself!”

You crept softly from the landing to the archway leading into the kitchen only to find exactly what you expected. There, crowded around the island and all dressed up in matching aprons, were the three men, all fussing over some part or another of what looked to be a breakfast spread fit for a queen. Well, baroness. Same difference. The sight was one you enjoyed a little too much, so kept yourself quiet for the chance to witness just a little bit more of their natural conversation. Between them, in a high necked vase, sat the salvaged bouquet of spring flowers you had abandoned on the front table. You were glad to see they had made it through.

Zemo was the next one to speak, walking to the stove where he flipped a delicious smelling slice of french toast.

“I believe you were the one who offered to help out this morning. If you hadn’t I would have happily completed breakfast on my own,”

“Yeah, I offered because I’m not a complete jackass,” Bucky quipped back.

“Language, James,”

“God, please don’t ever say that to me again,”

“Apologies,”

Sam noticed you then, your soft chuckles a giveaway. He smiled warmly and set down the strawberry he was coring as he addressed you. “Hey! Look who it is!” In an instant, all eyes were on you. Somehow, though, the attention wasn’t uncomfortable. If anything, your presence seemed to calm the constant animosity between your husband and your guests. “How are you feeling, Y/N?”

You replied with a smile. “As good as I can be. Did you guys break anything while I was upstairs?”

As you passed the men to take your own spot at the end of the island, Bucky looked up from his butchered mango almost sheepish. “No, no we didn’t break anything,” Quickly, he added, “It’s good to see you up and running again,”

“He broke a plate while playing catch with Sam this morning,” Zemo added, “Nothing important, we won’t miss it much,”

Bucky blanched.

The domesticity of it all was almost painful as the room shook with everyone's combined laughter. Even Bucky joined in once he got over his mortification. For a moment you all seemed like an odd sort of family, bustling around that kitchen as the last bits and bobs of breakfast were sliced and fried.

It smelled heavenly.

When you had the mind to sit down at your spot on the island to eat you found Helmut had just barely beaten you there and was pouring you a mug of coffee beside your full plate. Oh, how long had it been since you’d had coffee in the house? Probably since last January, when the short days were spent watching out the window for a man who wouldn’t come back. You disregarded the thought as you examined your plate. Tropical fruit, french toast, and a small portion of omelet (with more waiting in the pan), sat, fragrant and saccharine and ever so tempting, but instead of digging in you watched intently as Helmut poured your cream and doled out your sugar. He caught your gaze just as he set a small spoon in the mug to stir it with.

“You still remember how I take my coffee?” You asked.

Instead of answering, Helmut just watched as you brought the mug to your lips. It was, as expected, perfect. Sweet enough but still biting at your tongue as you swallowed it down. Hot, but not too much so. Just heated enough to warm you from the inside out. Perhaps it was Helmut’s gaze that warmed you too.

He turned back to the stove then, gathering his own plate, but you knew he was still watching you even when turned away.

“Of course I remember how you take your coffee,” he finally replied, “You’re my wife,”

“You didn’t get me perfect coffee,” Sam added from his place beside you, beginning to pick at his food as he stared at the dark liquid in his own cup.

“Yes, Sam, but you are certainly not my wife,”

The room was laughing again then, but in a quieter way. Helmut came back around the island with his own plate and took up his seat on your other side as you ate and drank your coffee in the warm glow of the morning light. There was something so alive about being surrounded by compatriots, even if your truce was temporary. Your husband could see the change in the way you smiled.

Slowly but surely, breakfast was eaten and seconds were doled out. You discovered that Bucky, for all his harshness, had a soft spot for french toast with extra syrup and he, in return, learned that mango really did taste better in cubes. The sun rose higher in the sky and, through glass doors, you could hear birdsong outside as they enjoyed the amenities of your garden. Maybe Sam and James could be put to work digging weeds…

You had to work hard to stop yourself from getting attached.

To the guests, to the laughter, to the house you’d lived and loved in. It would all be gone soon enough, shot through or smashed or burned in the months to come, as would you be. Still, you enjoyed it while you could. If this was to be one of your last true spring days, you would savor every tiny minuscule detail.

It did you no good to live in fear of the inevitable.

Instead, you enjoyed the moments in the hope that when it all did come crumbling down, you could face the end knowing you had truly lived.

Helmut’s voice pulled you from your morbidities as he finished the last bite of his omelet. “We’ll have to run out to the market for more groceries today, I’m afraid,” he hummed, “but perhaps that’s a blessing in disguise. It’s far too lovely a day to spend it cooped up inside,”

You quirked up an eyebrow. “We?”

“Yes. We, Schatz,”

Something about the way that he was trying so hard to write his past wrongs was incredibly endearing. It made you grin into your mug as you swallowed the dregs of your coffee. “I guess I could take some time out of my incredibly busy schedule to go shopping with you,”

“Could you really? I can hardly believe it,”

“I’ll have to actually get dressed first, but I could pen you into my schedule, just this once,”

“I hope that you won’t change out of that lovely sweater, though. I find it ravishing on you,”

“Oh, really? Thank you. It’s my husband’s,”

You said the word proudly, The sound of it made Helmut’s face flush as he leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips.

Sam’s voice pulled you from the soft display.

“Man, you guys are so cute it’s kinda gross,”

Bucky didn’t say anything, but the set of his jaw made you think he agreed.

“My house, my rules Sam,” you jested, “and my rules are that I get to kiss my husband,”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just try not to get all mushy. Some of us are painfully single over here,”

“Like you?”

“No, not me, I get all the ladies. Bucky, on the other hand…”

“Hey!” Bucky interjected.

And you laughed. All of you laughed. You laughed and the world turned and somewhere across the globe, John Walker scoured Madripoor for an informant who could give him a lead on Sam and Bucky, but you didn’t know that, and even if you did, you couldn’t quite bring yourself to care.

Not when Helmut’s hand was in your own, fingers laced together tight, as you brought your head to rest on his shoulder.

“Schatz?”

“Yes, Helmut?”

“I love you,”

“You know what darling? I love you too,”

You really did.

------

a/n: Wow. It feels so surreal to be done with this project. Thank you to every single person who has supported me through this process. It means more than you know. If you enjoyed the series, or want to scream into the void about it, I always love comments, so feel free to leave one! Thank you again!!!

TAGLIST: @tatestripedsweater , @elaineygrace , @multiyfandomgirl40 , @lovelymischief , @rami-malek-trash , @avgravy , @wh0re-4-techno , @forcebros , @sugarsweetkiss , @grandmuffinsharkbailiff , @killsandthrills , @novasstudy , @thnksfr-ptrkstmp , @inmate-marmalade , @alanathedeer , @your-pixels-are-showing , @shit-post-things , @bbarton , @sux-ubus , @halefirewarrior , @janelongxox , @rax-writes , @wondermia69 , @booklover2929 , @lol-im-done , @rorodendra , @spookycereal-s , @viviace , @wxrmh0le , @whatawildone , @mush-room-princess , @aliyahsfantasticlife , @gredvb , @chipster-21 , @whatawildone , @cloud-of-roses , @bry-97 , @mossybank , @simsiddy , @xxspqcebunsxx , @be-cautious-around-bri , @metaphorical-love-for-a-car , @frothonthedaydreams ,

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#zemo #baron zemo #baron helmut zemo #helmut zemo #helmut zemo x reader #baron zemo x reader #baron helmut zemo x reader #zemo x y/n #zemo x reader

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